'I'm dying.'

Trixie lay helpless on the ground, eyes shut closed, her breathing sharp and labored.

'It's the best and worst day of my life at the same time.

Not long ago, I had to make a big decision. The biggest one I've ever made.

If I went through with it, Equestria would change forever, and I would have everything I ever wanted.

If I didn't, Equestria would stay the same, and so would I.

It should have been an easy choice for me. It wasn't.

Would it have mattered either way? Everyone has to die someday any ways, but I just wasn't expecting it to happen to me so soon. I'm only twenty-four years old.'

As the pain continued to seize every fiber of her being, permeating throughout her body, the unicorn tried to lose herself in her thoughts.

'Think of something. Anything. Different than this.

I shouldn't try to escape this. I deserve to hurt this much.

...Father.

I remember my father.

He was always worried about whether or not he was doing the right thing. I think I inherited that from him.

For as long as I can remember, throughout my whole life, my heart has felt heavy. I could audibly hear it beating, and feel it pounding in my chest without even having to touch it. Sometimes I was afraid to move at all, because I thought if I did, it would tear through my skin and fall right out. It would always drop into my stomach, like an anchor.

I can't tell if it's because it's big, or just made of stone. Do I care too much, or too little? Is that sadness chilling me to the bone, or is there ice water running through my veins? I can't tell any more, and that scares me. I think I inherited that from him, too. Now, my heart is heavier than ever.'

As her thoughts of the past intertwined with those of the present, Trixie found herself being further and further drawn into remembering her fillyhood, escaping into memory from the agony of her mortal wound.

The only other comfort she could give herself was her most precious possession, hidden inside her cape. Slowly, the mare retrieved it with a trembling hoof. Knowing it would be for the last time, she looked at it, and bawled.

Eighteen years ago, on a cold winter night, six-year-old Beatrix Lulamoon stared at the stars in the dark sky. She wondered to herself why a deity responsible for such beautiful creations would be exiled to the moon and considered a traitorous monster. Most Equestrians thought of Luna as such, but not her. Beatrix was born and raised in Jennet, a small, poverty-laden village founded by worshipers of the night goddess-princess. It wasn't much, but they worked with what they had; there weren't many other places that wouldn't persecute them for their beliefs.

Even most of the children in Jennet loathed that their parents' faith led their families to such oppressed lifestyles, but not Beatrix. She legitimately appreciated Luna for all the wonderful dreams she gave her, a doorway into her imagination, away from the problems of reality. It was the same reason she'd constantly remain clad in the solid purple hat and cape of her magician costume; Nightmare Night was a month ago, but the garb helped her feel secure, as well as forget so many awful things.

One was that she had trouble using her magic under emotional strain, which was fairly common due to being frequently bullied, especially by her own sister. Trying spells during such would give her nosebleeds and headaches of varying degrees, and sometimes she'd even faint. She didn't even have her cutie mark yet. It was bad enough that she was already always worried about her father. The demanding physical labor his job entailed only hindered his health in his old age, not to mention his heart problems. Then, there was...

The dinner bell.

Beatrix's ears perked at it ringing, and she turned around to run back inside.

Every night, she dined with the only two relatives she lived with, both of them earth ponies. Myrtle, her sister, was twelve years old, had a brown mane, tail and eyes, with a dark green coat, and a rose cutie mark. Heavy-Heart, their father, had a dark blue mane, tail and eyes, with a black coat, and a pickax cutie mark. As soon as they finished dinner, each sitting before empty plates, an awkward silence hung in the air for a long moment.

The stallion miner smiled wryly. "So... Hearth's Warming Eve is only a month away... Have you girls thought about what you want this year?"

Myrtle frowned, lowering her head. "You know what I want, Dad."

Her father shared her sadness. "Myrtle, we've talked about this..."

"I know, I know, but... Every year, it's still going to be the same. I'm still going to miss my Mom."

Beatrix laid a sympathetic hoof onto her sister's. "I miss our Mom, too..."

Slowly, she turned to her younger sibling, glaring cold daggers into her. "I said my Mom. Not our Mom. She's not your Mom. You took her from us. You killed her."

The unicorn was taken aback by Myrtle's accusation, mouth agape. She sniffled, struggling to maintain her composure, only to burst into tears, running down the hallways to her room, shutting the door behind her.

"Myrtle!" Heavy-Heart promptly stood up, his disapproval clear.

"But, it's true! You know what happened! You know that she --"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!"

The filly shrank at her father's furious roar, nearly driven to tears herself.

Heavy-Heart's demeanor softened, immediately regretting his outburst. He slowly pulled his daughter into a hug.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you. But, we talked about this. It's not right to treat your sister that way. You wash the dishes, and then go to bed. No dessert. Understand?"

Beatrix sobbed, curled up under the covers of her bed, clutching her doll, Special, tightly against her chest. All she wanted was to cry herself to sleep. To escape back into the serene, peaceful darkness of oblivious unconsciousness, as if she didn't even exist. That's where she felt she belonged, where all the pain and the guilt disappeared. Her ears caught the rest of her family's conversation, and then the sound of hoofsteps trudging down the halls. She whimpered softly in protest, wanting to be left alone.

The hoofsteps stopped a few feet away from her door. The faint noise of scuttling was audible, and the stallion groaned. "Damn bugs..."

Beatrix flinched as she heard him start to stomp on the cockroaches. They were resilient creatures indeed, but no match for his powerful hooves, crunching beneath them.

"Figures... We can't afford an exterminator because it's hard enough to put meals on the table every night..." with a sigh, he retreated to the bathroom to wash his hooves, and then returned to Beatrix's door, opening it slowly.

"Honey..."

"She's right! I killed her! I killed her, and it's all my fault!"

"No, you didn't, and no, it wasn't," Heavy-Heart replied, his voice soft and compassionate. He approached his daughter, kneeling by her bedside.

Beatrix sniffled, her teary eyes veering towards him. "Th-then... How come Mom gave birth to Myrtle just fine, but not me?..."

Heavy-Heart opened his mouth to reply, and hesitated, then sighed. "... I don't know, Beatrix. But, she was feeling very sick, for a very long time. It had nothing to do with you. I swear."

The filly looked back at her pillow sadly. The stallion gently caressed her mane, trying to think of a way to cheer her up. Finally, he beamed.

"How about I read your favorite story, hmm?"

Beatrix froze, then nodded eagerly.

Her father smiled. He retrieved the book in question, opening to it's first page. It was "The Very Special Pony", by Euthalia Lulamoon, his widow. The story was about a unicorn named Special (who was also Trixie's doll, made by her mother as well) who lacked friends or a cutie mark, and set out to find both. On her travels, she individually met a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony who were all struggling. Whenever she offered to help them, she made mistakes, and failed. Later, she found the three of them having a picnic together, and asked if she could join, but they angrily told her to go away for accidentally ruining their tasks.

Saddened, Special wandered off into the forest to be alone. She found a deep, dark cave, thinking it would be a good place to hide where no one could find her, and went inside. Only, as she tried to sleep, she heard a stallion asking for help, trapped beneath some rocks. Special used her magic with all her might to move them, setting him free. The stallion thanked her, and revealed that he was actually a genie, waiting for a pony brave and kind enough to come "save" him so that he could reward them for their virtues.

Special doubted that she deserved this, but the genie allowed her to be able to look inside of herself, objectively seeing all of her good intentions and every single effort to help, telling her that "You try your best, and you mean well, and that's why you're Special". He offered to make one wish come true, so she wished for everyone to be happy. With that, the genie granted her a magical Wand Of Peace that would lift everyone's spirits and erase their worries, which she used to help the unicorn, pegasus and earth pony, and everyone else she met, and become their friends.

As Heavy-Heart finished the story, closing the book, Beatrix smiled. She had heard and read the story countless times, but it always helped her experience joy.

"You know that your mother wrote this just for you while she was pregnant with you, so you'd know how much you meant to her, but... She also wrote it for me. She said that she used to doubt herself so much, but then she met me, and I made her feel... Well, Special... And, that's how you make me feel," he admitted, tousling her mane playfully. "Feel better?"

Beatrix nodded quickly.

"Good. Now, try to get some rest." With that, he kissed her forehead. "Good night, Beatrix. I love you."

"You too, Dad," she answered. He left, closing the door behind him, and Beatrix rolled onto her side, mulling over her thoughts.

She always preferred the night far more than the day. It allowed her imagination to take a few steps closer to feeling real, whenever she dreamed, letting her believe, however temporarily, that things were different, better than they really were. She would be someone stronger, braver, and more worthy than she believed herself to be. Her magic would work perfectly, everyone would love her, and everything would be made just for her. There would be banners and statues and all sorts of things in her honor, and she would create a paradise for everyone with the Wand Of Peace.

Beatrix could only see Luna as incredibly kind for granting her such dreams. The lucid experience of getting to do everything she always wanted, but never could. On many nights such as this, she would lay awake trying to think of ways to go to the moon so she could thank Luna for everything she'd done for her. She thought the goddess was also alone, like herself, and would want a friend who would appreciate her. Most of her ideas that she tried never worked, but she was sure that her latest one would.

The filly had carefully studied all the stars in the sky she could find, believing that while they were numerous and small, if she could use her magic well enough, she could borrow them to build a ladder to the moon, so she could climb up there and finally meet Luna. She wasn't sure when her magic would become that good, but when it did, she'd try it right away. Beatrix felt her eyelids getting heavy, and smiled. She surrendered herself to slumber, fully embracing it, eager to experience the next sweet dreams Luna would present her with.

The next morning, Beatrix awoke early, while her father and sister remained asleep. It was barely dawn, as the sunrise was still just beginning to shine through the windows. The unicorn softly yawned, gingerly trotting out of her room towards the kitchen to get some breakfast. She froze as something crunched under her hoof. She grimaced in disgust, realizing it was a cockroach, and scraped it off. Looking around, she noticed many more of them scurrying about; whenever they seemed to finally be gone, more would replace them. She frowned, remembering Heavy-Heart's thoughts last night. How were they going to deal with this?

She perked upon finding an idea. The filly quickly, yet quietly hurried to the basement, not wanting to awake her kin. Beatrix turned on the light once inside, rummaging through the items stored away until she found what she was looking for; her mother's spell book. She'd looked through it before in hopes of finding remedies for past dilemmas, even learning a mind reading spell so she could always find out what her father was worried about. Flipping through the pages, she slowly became discouraged when the answer she sought didn't appear to be there.

Beatrix was about the give up and close the book, until she caught something in the corner of her eye that stood out to her. It read, "life extinguishing spell: use with great caution". The unicorn hesitated, feeling uncertain about trying it, but no other solution seemed to apply to the cockroaches. If she was going to help her family deal with them, this would be how.

Minutes later, she cornered one, concentrating intensely. At first, doubt and worry made her fear she would fail, and she started to.

'No -- you need to help. This is how you do it. Think of... Think of how much better it will be here without these things. Dad would be happy.'

After finishing breakfast, Heavy-Heart wiped his mouth with his napkin, walking to throw it in the garbage. Upon opening the can, he was startled to see it almost completely full of dead cockroaches.

"What in the name of --"

"I did it, Dad!" Beatrix exclaimed proudly.

"... Did what?"

"That! I got all the cockroaches! Now you don't need to hire an exterminator anymore, and you can save money!"

She expected him to be proud of her, and glad that the bugs were gone, but instead he seemed more worried than he was before.

"... How did you do that?"

Beatrix stopped, concerned that she might be in trouble. "... Just a spell from Mom's spell book..." she murmured, barely audible.

"Which spell?"

"Just a spell," she whispered, cringing.

"Show me which one. In the book."

Beatrix bit her lip, her ears lowering and her eyes starting to water.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble. Just show me where it is in the book."

The filly released a long, shuddering sigh, hanging her head. "O-okay..."

She lead him to it in the basement, opening it up on a table, going to the page in question.

"That's the one," Beatrix confessed, her hoof right under the "life extinguishing spell".

Heavy-Heart leaned in closer to read it, and Beatrix backed out of his way. As his eyes scanned over the description, a look of silent horror slowly crossed the stallion's face, his eyes widening as his hoof covered his mouth. When he was finished, he rested his forelegs on the table, burying his face into them.

"Dear Luna, Beatrix..."

"I-I was only trying to help," Beatrix whimpered guiltily.

"I know you were, but..." Heavy-Heart slowly stood back on all fours, looking to his daughter with a dead serious expression of concern. "Look... Bugs -- any bug -- are living things, just like us... And... You can't just kill them, you're supposed to find a way to make them go away --"

"But you crush them all the time!" Beatrix protested.

"I know, I know!" the stallion groaned. "What I'm trying to say is... That spell's dangerous. Very dangerous. It could possibly kill not just cockroaches, but maybe any living thing, like you and me. You have to be extremely careful with that sort of thing, and a filly your age shouldn't be using it. You can understand that, right?"

Beatrix nodded. "... So... You're not mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you." The stallion walked closer, kneeling down to her eye level. "I know you were doing what you thought was good. A-and it is, in a way -- the cockroaches can't bother us any more -- but... It's a very complicated situation. You made... You made a hard decision. But, the next time you need to make a hard decision, you come talk to me about it first, okay?"

"Okay..."

"And... And I want you to promise me... Promise me you'll never use that spell again, okay?"

"I promise..."

While her father was heading to the mines, Myrtle was opening her late mother's florist shop, simply called Euthalia's. Beatrix was there trying to help, but her older sister had assured her that her assistance wasn't needed. She wandered around, looking at all of the beautiful flowers, trying to find her favorite. The unicorn finally discovered them off in the corner; Jennet Orchids, a rare kind that only grew in their local area, taking on marvelous hues of pink, red, yellow and orange. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply through her nose, smiling at their wonderful scent.

Myrtle saw her. "Get away from those!" she blurted, shooing her off. "You're going to ruin them! They were -- they are -- Mom's favorites..."

"Sorry," Beatrix murmured as she backed away. "Are you sure you don't need help with anything else here, Myrtle?"

"Yes, I am. Go bother somepony else, you useless blank flank... You can't even use magic properly..."

Beatrix felt a pang of rejection in her chest. "O-okay..." she turned, starting to leave, hearing Myrtle whisper just within earshot.

"At least all the cockroaches are finally gone... Now if only we could get rid of every pest around here..."

Her younger sister quivered. 'Myrtle is nice to everypony except for me... It feels so unfair...'

Trying to forget her sister's words, the unicorn filly trekked across Jennet, taking long detours to avoid her usual bullies, off to the mines to look for her father. Fortunately, he hadn't started working for today yet, and she reached him quickly.

"Dad, Dad! Myrtle says she doesn't need my help at the flower shop today... Can I help you with anything?"

Heavy-Heart felt slightly irritated, as he easily worried for the safety of his daughters around these parts, but seeing them always made him smile. "Not right now, Beatrix. Maybe later. Why don't you go ahead and play for today? You've earned some time to relax."

"Okay..."

Beatrix had returned home to spend time with her doll, Special. She always liked to pretend that she was a mother, and that Special was her daughter. It wasn't so much something that she did just for fun, but more out of penance. The idea of being a good mother to Special felt like a good way to apologize to her own mother for apparently killing her by being born, even though she didn't mean to. Deep down, she knew that Special would never be anything more than just a doll in her hooves, and a character in a book, but that didn't stop her from trying any ways.

She always did everything for Special that she always thought a good mother was supposed to do. She would pretend to feed her, bathe her, change her diapers, play with her, and put her to sleep. All the things she had heard of Euthalia doing for Myrtle, or saw mothers living in Jennet doing with their children. Normally, during her free time, it was enough to keep her occupied for a full day. But today, it didn't seem to feel the same. She felt empty. So, she put Special to bed, and went for a walk to think about why she felt the way that she did.

Beatrix passed all the familiar sights in Jennet she had seen on so many walks so many times. There was nothing to steal her attention away from her thoughts, that would distract her from thinking and walking, to try to figure her emotions out. At least, there wasn't until she found something unfamiliar. It was a poster for a talent show that would accompany the upcoming Hearth's Warming Eve pageant.

'I would try out... But I'm not good enough.'

She stared down at her hooves sadly. 'I can hardly do even basic magic right a lot of the time... If I was a better Beatrix, like the one in my dreams, maybe I'd try... But --'

"Hey, you're going to try out for that, too?" a jovial voice chimed.

Beatrix looked to the source, only to find a smiling griffon who seemed older than her, but younger than her sister.

"That's awesome! I've been wanting to meet someone out here to try out with me for some moral support! Plus, it's boring out here without any friends..."

"O-oh, I, u-um... I'm not trying out for that..." Beatrix trailed off, blushing sheepishly. "I'd love to help you out, but, I just can't... I'm sorry..."

The griffon blinked, bewildered. "Why not? You're a unicorn! You can do some magic in there!"

"No, I mean, I can't," the filly tried to explain. "I'm not good at it..."

The griffon rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry. "That's no problem! All it takes is some practice! I still don't know how to fly the best that I can, but that's what I want to do in the talent show, any ways! I used to be no good at it at all, but then my friend Rainbow Dash from Junior Speedster Flight Camp helped me out, and I got better! Maybe I can help you practice with your magic, then we can try out together!"

Beatrix cringed, unsure how to react. 'I've... I've never met anyone else like this before... She actually thinks I'm more than what I really am... Like what I really want to be... I don't want to disappoint her and hurt her feelings.'

"I... I'll think about it."

The griffon smiled widely. "That's great! By the way, I'm Gilda le Grand." She took one of Beatrix's hooves, shaking it.

"I'm Beatrix Lulamoon..."

"Nice to meet you! I'm going to be staying here in Jennet with my Uncle Arluin and cousin Gustave until New Years! Maybe we can hang out until then! If we got to see each other every day, we'd kick all kinds of butt at that talent show for sure!"

The filly laughed unsurely. "If you say so... But, um, listen... I really should be getting home, sorry..."

"Okay! See you soon, Beatrix!"

She felt bad for lying to the griffon, but she wasn't used to such positive social interaction, and somehow it made her uncomfortable. In a way, she told her a half-truth, since she possibly had to go. Beatrix was heading back to the mines to see if her father would need help after all. Heavy-Heart was nowhere to be seen, presumably deep in the mine, so she got to work on levitating a sledgehammer with her magic, using it to break up boulders of silver that were already set aside for that exact purpose.

At first, she seemed to be doing okay. Much better than she usually did. Part of it was from focusing on how happy her father would be with her help, like she did before when she exterminated the cockroaches. But, eventually, her control started to slip away, and it was harder to hold onto.

'No! I have to keep going... Prove I'm helpful... Prove I'm worthy... I need to help Dad!'

The longer she struggled, the more difficult it was to keep using her magic on the sledgehammer. A headache and nosebleed slowly started to creep up on her, gradually becoming more and more intense. Beatrix groaned, incredibly uncomfortable and wanting to stop suffering, but this was outweighed by her desire to be useful. Finally, it became too much, and she passed out, collapsing onto the ground.

At the sound of a thud, Heavy-Heart turned to see his daughter off in the distance. He immediately scolded himself, unsure of how he could have possibly not noticed her arriving. The stallion started walking towards her, deducing that she exerted herself too hard trying to help again. Despite the shortcomings she possessed, Beatrix made up for them in effort and intentions.

"LOOK OUT!!! GET OFF THE TRACKS!!!"

Heavy-Heart looked to the source of the screaming, terrified to find a runaway mining cart full of silver headed straight for Beatrix. Adrenaline seized him as he galloped as fast as he could to his unconscious daughter. He pushed her out of the way just in time... But it was too late for himself.

The cacophonous crash startled Beatrix into consciousness. Upon seeing where it came from, fear seized her heart.

"DAD!!!"

In the hospital, Beatrix sat by her father's bedside.

"I'm so sorry, Dad..."

"It's all right... I understand... You were just... Trying to help..."

The filly sniffled, barely able to bring herself to look at him. Guilt was making it too hard.

"... I... I wanted to do something special, just for you, when I came here... To show you how sorry I am... How much I care about you..."

Indeed, she found a new spell in her mother's spell book, and practiced it rigorously, several times in a row, wanting to get it just right for her father. She closed her eyes, focusing on her magic... And conjured a bouquet of Jennet Orchids. Not only were they Beatrix's favorite flowers of Euthalia's, but Heavy-Heart's, as well. As the stallion's eyes gleamed in awe, the filly levitated them onto his chest. He indulged in their sweet scent, bringing a joyful smile to his face.

"That was wonderful... They're beautiful... Thank you..."

"You're welcome," Beatrix nodded. "I'll... I'll let you rest..." she trailed off. With that, she left.

Once again, her mind was fraught with worry, hanging her head as she slowly trekked home. Just before she was out of the hospital doors, a hoof clamped down on her tail, pinning it to the ground and causing her to yelp.

"Hey!" Myrtle snarled.

Beatrix turned to look at her, flinching.

"You better stop 'helping', before you kill my Dad, too," she growled.

That evening, Beatrix had snuck outside in the middle of the night. Her father was going to be resting in the hospital for many nights, and her sister didn't care enough about her to pay attention to where she went at this hour. She was alone in a field just outside of Jennet, staring up into the stars as she had done many times before. However, they couldn't bring her the same comfort that they had in the past. Even her regular dreams, however nice and constant they were, were ultimately only temporary, and could not solve the very permanent problem of her misery.

Her view of the dark sky above her was blurred by her tears.

'I've tried everything I could to help. But no matter what I do, nothing is ever good enough. Now, there's only one thing I can do.'

Beatrix lowered her head and closed her eyes, coming to terms with her choice.

'I... I need to go. Forever. From everywhere. From existence. My Mom died so I could live... That was a sign from the very beginning that I never belonged here. I'll be gone, and Dad and Myrtle won't have to worry about taking care of me anymore. I'll stop bothering everypony.'

With that, Beatrix started to cast the spell she promised her father that she'd never use again. The life extinguishing spell. Only, this time, she was trying to channel it inward. Towards herself.

The unicorn felt her body seize up and tighten, becoming filled with a sharp pain. It was just like the familiar experience of straining her magic too far, but she wasn't sure if it was just that, or if the spell was working, or maybe both. She whimpered, forcing herself to try harder, no matter how badly it hurt; for all she knew, this could mean that she was getting closer and closer to achieving her goal.

'Just a little more, then all the pain will stop... For me, and everypony else...'

"Hey! What're you doing out here?"

The familiar voice broke her concentration, stopping the spell. Beatrix groaned at her failure, starting to sob. She turned to see who it was, freezing out of surprise; it was Gilda.

As the griffon approached closer, Beatrix sniffled, wiping her eyes. "I-I was just, u-uh... Practicing magic... For the talent show..."

Gilda was surprised, and apparently delighted, by her answer. "Oh, wow, really? What a coincidence! I was out here doing the same thing! Err, well, practicing for the talent show I mean, not magic! Can you show me?"

Beatrix swallowed a knot of nervousness trapped in her throat, completely caught off guard by all of this. "Well, okay..."

She used the mind reading spell she normally used on her father on Gilda, scanning her mind for an idea of what to attempt to conjure. She quickly found something, and forced all of her concentration into it. A headache resounded through her skull for a few moments, but then, a chocolate eclair confection spontaneously appeared, and Beatrix levitated it right into Gilda's talon.

"... Wow, Beatrix, that was... That was amazing! That's exactly what I was thinking of! I..." She hesitated for a moment, and took a bite of the eclair, only to be completely astonished. "These are just like the eclairs my cousin Gustave makes! They're completely the same! How in the world did you do that?!?"

Beatrix blushed modestly, her eyes veering away. "I sort of... Read your mind... I'm sorry..."

"Sorry?!? What are you sorry for?!? This is incredible!"

The unicorn flinched. "It just feels wrong to go into others' thoughts without asking, but you really wanted me to show you a trick, so..."

"Exactly! It's okay if it's for tricks, that's what people expect when they go to magic shows! There's nothing wrong with that!"

Beatrix shrugged. "If you say so..."

Gilda suddenly noticed some damp spots on her face, and frowned. "Are you sure that's all you were doing out here? It looks like you were... Crying... What's the matter?"

The pony blushed in embarrassment, hoping she wouldn't have noticed. It was time for another half-truth. "I was thinking about... A hard decision I had to make... I learned this spell to kill some cockroaches in my house, to help my Dad... But I didn't know until he told me that the spell might kill anything else alive, too... I didn't hurt anything else with it, but, I could have if I wasn't more careful, and, just... I feel really bad about it..."

Gilda nodded in sympathy. "I can understand that... I actually had to make a hard decision like that too, not too long ago... On our way here to Jennet, my Uncle Arluin, Gustave and I lost our food on accident, and we were going to starve if we didn't get more soon... So, Uncle Arluin told us that we would have to hunt for it, but only because it was an emergency... We don't normally eat living things, and, I didn't want to, but... We had to... It was better than being hungry..."

An awkward silence hung in the air. After a long moment, Gilda broke it, trying to change the subject to something more cheerful. "Still, that trick you did was totally awesome! I told you that you could get better if you just practiced! If that was just to give me an idea of what you could do, I'm sure there's plenty of other cool spells you can cast, too! Now you have to try out with me, I insist!"

"All right, then..."

When she returned home to go to bed, Beatrix had trouble going to sleep. Normally, she would lay awake thinking about ways to reach Luna, or what she wanted to dream about next, or her family's problems, until she fell asleep. This time, the thoughts keeping her up pertained to her new friend, the griffon Gilda.

'... I never thought about it a lot before, but... Gilda telling me what she went through on the way here made me remember my family's not the only one with problems... Everyone living here in Jennet is having a hard time, just from trying to make it by, one day at a time...'

The filly raised Special to her eye level, softly stroking her mane. 'Maybe going into this talent show with Gilda is a good thing, after all... I can try to use my magic to get better at creating the kind of things that normally go on in my dreams... The things that make me forget the hard times... And if I can share those things with everyone else, wouldn't it help them? Wouldn't it finally make me worthy after all?'

Beatrix closed her eyes. 'If there's only one reason I should go, it's Gilda. She believes in me... I need to be there to believe in her, too...'

Heavy-Heart chuckled, breathing heavily in his hospital bed. "She sounds like quite the hooffull..."

Beatrix smiled wryly. "She invited me to come over to her Uncle Arluin's house for dinner tonight... I told her I'd ask you if it was okay first..."

"Thank you. I'm glad you thought about that."

The filly stared at her father intently with pleading eyes.

The stallion furrowed his brow in confusion. "What is it? Oh! Yes, of course. 'Yes, of course' you can go there for dinner."

The answer made the unicorn nervous and excited at the same time. She never had a friend before, so she never thought about what to do when she finally got one, but it was a nice change of pace from what she was used to.

"I'm so glad you've finally found a friend, Beatrix."

The filly nodded, then frowned. "She's only going to be here for the rest of the month..."

Heavy-Heart paused, sharing her sorrow. "Well... Cherish the rest of that time you'll have together, Beatrix. The best kind of friends are always close to you, on the inside, no matter how far apart you are on the outside. Besides, I'm sure you'd be lonely without any company while I'm stuck here in the hospital. Just, go on and have fun, and try not to think too much about the things you feel sad for."

"Okay, Dad..."

"I'm also glad you decided to try out at the talent show with her... I just know that'll be a lot of fun. The doctor says that by that time, I should be okay enough to start going places again, but I'll have to take it easy... I promise you, I'll do everything I can to make it there."

"Hey, Trixie!"

Beatrix raised an eyebrow in bewilderment. "What did you just call me?"

Gilda gracefully landed beside the filly, having flown to the middle of Jennet to meet her. "Trixie! It's this new nickname I thought of for you! You know, for all the cool magic tricks you can do! After that neat stunt you pulled with Gustave's eclairs, I just knew you'd have tons of other wild stuff in your tricktionary! So, come on, Trix! Let's go to my Uncle Arluin's!"

Gilda's older cousin, a chef in training, had provided a spectacular meal including items Trixie had never eaten before; her father was usually too low on bits to afford such extravagant foods. She slowly savored every bite of the dish before her, currently gorging on the fettucine alfredo with mushrooms.

After having some more, Trixie looked to the eldest griffon with a puzzled expression. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, could you please tell me what a 'sick-eater' is again, Mister le Grand?"

The griffon laughed. "It's 'sin-eater', Beatrix. And please, call me Arluin." He brought a talon to his beak, clearing his throat. "Any ways, as I was saying, in the oldest griffon societies, or tribes, if you will, each member had a different task assigned to them, in order to contribute to the rest of the group. The sin-eater was the one who would eat the food laid on the chest of the recently dead, symbolically absorbing their sins so that their souls could gain access to the afterlife and be spared from damnation in Tartatus," Arluin explained.

"The role of the sin-eater is what inspired my dear Gustave and I to pursue a new avenue in our culinary adventures. We want to combine comfort foods -- what people usually eat for it's delicious flavor, and to relieve stress -- with healthy foods, which, well, improve your health. On top of it all, depression was once considered a sin, and we'd want our foods to make people happy, so that makes it fit even better. But, since health is one of the goals in mind, you could technically call it a 'sick-eater' if you really wanted to!"

Gilda chuckled. "You're so silly, Uncle Arluin."

Once again, Trixie lay awake in bed at night, mulling over what her experiences with Gilda taught her.

'... If I really wanted to... Could I become the sin-eater of Jennet? To absorb all of their sadness inside me, so they wouldn't have to feel it anymore? They deserve to be set free from that, and I... Don't...'

She closed her eyes, hugging Special close to her.

'That's it, then... I'll enter the talent show and become a magical sin-eater. That way, Mom wouldn't have died for nothing. That way, I'll have finally done something right. Not just for Gilda. Not just for Jennet. But for me.'

For two weeks, Trixie and Gilda vigorously practiced together, helping each other; Trixie had her magic, and Gilda had her flying.

All of it was for today. The time had finally arrived. Countless other times in her life, Trixie had felt as if her heart were heavy, weighed down by sorrow. Today, it was pounding with anticipation. For so many other fillies and colts, it was trying out for a talent show, but for her, it was the most important day of her life. To prove to herself that she really was worth anything for something good after all. Not 'Beatrix the blank flank', 'Beatrix the dud-horned', or 'Beatrix the mother-killer'. This would decide if she really was the strong, brave, worthy pony she dreamed of being; 'Trixie The Magician'.

She had never been so nervous and excited at the same time. Every minute that her turn grew closer, she felt her heart almost leap into her throat, a strangely thrilling fear filling every cell in her body. Trixie never had a chance like this before, and she was sure that it would never come again. She would do her best. She practiced, for so long and so hard. She would make it in -- she had to.

Finally, the three judges were ready for her. When they gave her permission to start, she took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

'This is it. This is where my life is going to change forever. I'll no longer be worthless.'

Smiling, she remembered the encouragements of Gilda and Heavy-Heart, and began her magical display.

Trixie was trying to recreate what she had impressed Gilda with long ago. She reached into the mind of the first judge, a unicorn mare, searching through her thoughts for something palatable to conjure as an elaborate illusion, like Gustave's eclairs. Finally, she found something; a birthday card she received from her son last week. Within moments, it appeared before the mare's hooves, and she immediately recognized it, bewildered and astonished.

The judge opened it, revealing it to be a completely accurate replica, right down to her son's hoofwriting. "That's... That's incredible! This is the exact birthday card I got from my son last week!"

Trixie winced, already starting to feel her magic take it's toll on her.

'No!!! I can't fail yet -- I've only just started... Must... Keep... Going...'

She peered into the mind of the next judge, a pegasus stallion. After a few more moments of searching and applying a grueling amount of concentration, she conjured another item of personal significance to the pony in mind, surprising him as well.

"This is my late brother's lucky stopwatch! However did you bring it here?"

Trixie's headache intensified, and blood began to creep around the edge of her nostrils. She tried to ignore the burning pain, forcing herself to persevere.

'Doing so good -- can't stop -- '

Finally, there was the last judge, an earth pony mare. It took every last ounce of Trixie's strength to perform the same feat on her, especially due to the nature of what she was conjuring.

Once she succeeded, the judge gasped. "Remiel!" the mare exclaimed, addressing her cat by name. The indigo-furred feline affectionately meowed and purred as she pet it, cuddling into her.

Trixie felt her eye twitching, the splitting headache consuming her skull as she started to bleed copiously.

' -- NO! -- '

The overwhelmed filly lost her balance, crashing down onto the floor. Immediately, the three lifelike illusions disappeared, and Trixie's magic stopped, her headache only slowly ebbing away as her consciousness flickered. She fought with everything she had, only barely managing not to pass out, breathing heavily as she slowly got back on all fours. The judges were clearly horrified, deeply concerned.

"Are you okay, little filly?" one of them asked.

"Y-yes, I'm fine," Trixie lied. "How did I do?"

The judges looked at each other hesitantly, clearly very uncomfortable and struggling with mixed emotions. After whispering inaudibly amongst themselves, they simultaneously nodded in unanimous agreement, turning their attention back to Trixie.

The pegasus stallion cleared his throat. "We were... Deeply entertained and impressed with your talents, Trixie, and we think you would make a wonderful addition to the show, except... We're very worried about your health... It's clear that you have a condition involving your magic, and, well... You have to understand, it's not that we don't want you in, we just don't want you to get hurt... So, I'm afraid that we have no choice but to reject you. We're sorry."

Trixie froze.

'But, I... I tried so hard for this... I wanted this so badly... Why can't I?... Am I really that worthless?...'

Slowly, she started to cry. Ashamed, she lowered her head, not wanting them to notice, but her sobs only grew louder, until she broke down.

Heavy-Heart, hearing her from outside the room, entered, approaching his daughter somberly. "Come on... Let's go..." He gingerly escorted her out.

Trixie's father hugged her close to him, letting her sob into his coat. He waited for her to calm down, gently patting her back and stroking her mane, silently empathizing with her melancholy.

"I-I'm such a failure, Dad... I can't do anything right... I wanted to get in there more than I ever wanted anything, but I couldn't even do that..." she sniffled.

After a few moments, Heavy-Heart spoke. "... Hey... Honey..." He slowly pulled away, kneeling down to her eye level, smiling proudly at her with tears in his eyes. "... You try your best, and you mean well, and that's why I love you, Beatrix..."

Trixie slowly smiled, her heart filling with warmth, feeling accepted. She seized her father in another hug, and they silently embraced one another.

Minutes later, after regaining her composure, Trixie looked until she found her friend.

"Hey, Gilda... I'm sorry, but... I didn't make it..."

Gilda nodded, looking quite morose herself. "I know... That's okay, because I didn't, either... Even if I did, it wouldn't matter, because it looks like my Uncle Arluin has to leave before Hearth's Warming Eve, and, well... We're going with him... It's only in a few days, actually..." she sighed in disappointment.

Trixie was chilled with more pangs of lament. "I'm really going to miss you, Gilda..."

"I'll miss you too, Trixie..." with that, the griffon embraced her in a hug. "Hey... We may not have made it in, but we still had a lot of fun while I was here, didn't we? Besides, it's not like we'll never see each other again... Uncle Arluin says I can come back next year... Then, we can try again... That's all there is to it, is to just keep trying..."

A few days ago, Gilda left. Trixie spent the remainder of her time in Jennet with her, but was unable to enjoy it as much as she could have, their fun and games sullied by the knowledge that soon, her first and only friend would be gone for a year.

Heavy-Heart had finally been able to return home, but needed another week of rest and relaxation before he could return to work, on his doctor's orders. With him out of work for another seven days, the Lulamoons depended solely on the sales of the late Euthalia's flowers, with Heavy-Heart even convincing Myrtle to let Trixie help out there until he could work again. Trixie had noticed her father felt bad for not being able to help his coworkers for a little longer. So, four days later, she woke up early to go to the mine to see if she could help them.

Once again, she was breaking down boulders with a sledgehammer using her magic. Trixie was struggling like last time, but was doing better than before. Little did she know that Myrtle was heading there, looking for her; they would need to open the flower shop soon, and they still needed to work together for it.

The oblivious Trixie had no intention of stopping anytime soon. She'd gotten her magic working in a nice, even flow, smooth enough to make progress at a slow, but steady pace, breaking down the silver piece by piece. After several more minutes of this, the all-too-familiar symptoms of her magical exhaustion returned, but she kept pushing anyways.

'Just one more... One more, and that'll be good enough...' she told herself, looking for any excuse to continue.

Off in the distance, yards away, was another boulder of silver. The logical thing to do would be to walk over to it, but that didn't cross her mind in her fatigued state. Instead, the unicorn tried to levitate it closer to her. It was merely slowly dragging across the ground, so she tried to lift it. Trixie felt herself straining, clenching her teeth out of frustration as she struggled to pull it closer as quickly as possible. In her zeal, she accidentally levitated it right above her, a few feet in the air. She felt her control slipping, and gasped as she now forced all of her focus into keeping it suspended above her.

'I-if I drop this, I'll get hurt really bad -- the way Dad got hurt really bad --'

She squinted her eyes shut, groaning out of pain, her legs trembling.

Myrtle finally found her, several yards away. She was puzzled as to why Trixie looked so exasperated, and then noticed that she was using her magic to hold the boulder directly above herself. Her first instinct was to call for help, or try to get Trixie out of the way, but stopped herself before she could act on them. If she did nothing at all, and merely let this happen, she would be crushed, and finally pay for taking her mother. She smirked at the idea, hiding to watch the results.

Trixie fought to maintain her magic, but was slowly losing. Consumed by migraine-worthy amounts of agony, blackness closed in around the edges. With a groaning sigh of tired suffering, she collapsed onto the ground, fainting. With that, her horn's aura disappeared, releasing the boulder.

Myrtle's eyes gleamed with excitement --

-- Only for the boulder to harmlessly bounce off of Trixie.

The filly's jaw dropped in shock. It didn't even bounce off of her, but the air right above her.

The Lulamoons had just returned home from another visit to the hospital. Some of the workers at the mine had seen what happened with Trixie, and tried to help, but were too late to stop it. The fact that she survived without a scratch was considered a miracle, a work of Luna; some of Jennet's parents even used it to tell their children why being so devout to Luna was so important, citing Trixie as an example. But, alas, the doctor had confirmed this was no such spectacle. While the filly had trouble using her magic under emotional stress throughout her life, they had just now discovered that it also had a strong, unconscious link to her survival instinct, automatically protecting her from any serious harm.

Trixie had just finished tending to Special in her room, putting her to bed for another nap, when she heard the dinner bell. She ran down the hallways to the kitchen to dine, and was stopped by Myrtle's cold, hateful glare.

"... What is it?..."

"You know what it is," Myrtle growled. "It's about Dad."

"... What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean!" Myrtle snapped. "Your magic could have protected you all along... You would have been fine either way, but Dad got hurt in your place... The wrong pony got hit by the mining cart that day..."

Beatrix's heart was immediately consumed by fury at this accusation. "STOP HATING ME!!!" she screamed.

Immediately, Myrtle gasped in horror, backing into the corner, her pupils shrunken in fear. She was shaking uncontrollably.

Beatrix suddenly became confused. She didn't expect Myrtle to react this way; her anger had never scared her before.

"BEATRIX!!!" their father roared.

The filly cringed, turning to look at him, when she suddenly realized what went wrong. Unintentionally, unknowingly, she was just about to cast the life extinguishing spell on Myrtle.

Heavy-Heart's face was twisted in blind rage. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!? I TOLD YOU TO NEVER USE THAT SPELL AGAIN!!! RIGHT NOW, YOU ALMOST KILLED YOUR SISTER!!!"

"I-I'm sorry!!! I didn't mean it, I swear!!!" she cried, bursting into tears.

The stallion raised his forehoof back, preparing to smack Trixie, causing her to gasp in fear. Suddenly, he froze, realizing what he was about to do. His expression softened into one of regret and guilt, and he slowly put his hoof back down.

"Beatrix..."

Trixie sobbed, running down the hall.

"Beatrix!"

She retreated to her room, shutting the door. Heavy-Heart followed after her, trying to open it, but Trixie used just enough of her magic to keep it locked. He begged and pleaded for her forgiveness, for her to let him in, but she wouldn't. She didn't talk to him for the rest of the night.

Later, Heavy-Heart had given up and gone to bed. Trixie waited until she knew he was asleep, and sneaked outside again. She returned to the field outside Jennet where she looked at the stars, the very same place where she once tried to make this hard decision before.

'Myrtle is right.

It's my fault Dad got hurt. The cart wouldn't hurt me. The boulder didn't hurt me. But the cart hurt him.

It's my fault Mom died.

My fault Dad got hurt.

My fault Myrtle almost died.

My fault that... That everything's wrong, and never going to be okay...'

She shut her eyes, squeezing tears out between her eyelids, hanging her head.

'Dad even... Was going to hit me... He never did that before... He... He's tired of putting up with me and all the bad things I make happen... He doesn't love me anymore...'

After another sobbing, shaking sigh, she looked back up, her forehoof reaching out towards the moon.

'Please, Luna... Please let me sleep forever... I've always loved you for everything you've done... I want you to love me, too... Take me away from here... Take me with you... Let me sleep forever, so that way, I'm always dreaming... Dreaming about a life so much better than mine could ever be... Somewhere away from all the pain, the sadness, and the guilt... I don't want to be the worthless Beatrix Lulamoon anymore... I want to be strong, brave, and worthy... I want to be Trixie The Magician... If I can only ask for one thing from you, please, dear Luna, just give me this...'

With that, she closed her eyes, and immediately started casting the life extinguishing spell on herself again. She placed every last ounce of effort into it, a searing agony gradually coursing over her entire body. It was a hellish torment, but Trixie didn't care; it was worth going through if it meant not having to hurt anymore. All she would have to do was this one last spell, and everything would finally be all right. She'd only have to suffer this one last time, and then she'd never suffer again.

She'd be with Luna on the moon, where she could truly become the pony she always wanted to be. Her magic would work perfectly, everyone would love her, and everything would be made just for her. There would be banners and statues and all sorts of things in her honor. She would create a paradise for everyone with the Wand Of Peace, just like Special in her favorite story. All she had to do was hang on just a little longer, try a little harder, stand the pain just one more time, and she would be gone, off to where no one could hurt her, and she could hurt no one. All her dreams would finally come true.

'... Almost... There...'

Finally, the pain stopped, and she fainted. As blackness closed in towards the edges, and she fell towards the ground, the last remaining shreds of Trixie's consciousness briefly rejoiced in the realization that finally, everything would be okay. The world went dark...

... Until she woke up again, in the very same field. Nothing had changed. She failed. The same magic linked to her survival instinct, which saved her from the boulder, had also kept her from her own escape.

Trixie started to cry.

'... All I ever did for Luna was love her... And even she thinks I'm not good enough... I'll never be good enough... This is the only way it's ever going to be... I'm just going to hurt forever...'

Hearth's Warming Eve was quiet.

There were no presents for the Lulamoons this year. Heavy-Heart didn't get any; not to punish his two children, but simply because he couldn't afford them. The closest thing they had was a cake, just big enough for all of them to share.

Once again, the stallion and his two daughters dined in silence at the kitchen table.

Trixie didn't eat anything. All she could do was stare down at her plate morosely. She couldn't bear to raise her eyes to her family.

Heavy-Heart reluctantly ate his share of the cake. He did so slowly, watching his sad children, disappointed in himself for not being able to get anything more for them. Once he was finished, he winced uncomfortably for a brief moment, and then regained his composure. Releasing a quiet sigh, he slowly stood up and nodded to the two fillies, silently excusing himself for a nap as he walked to his bedroom.

Myrtle was just trying to focus on her cake, but even as she ate it, she couldn't escape the lingering sadness permeating the entire household. Once she finished, she looked to Trixie's plate, bewildered that she hadn't taken a single bite. Trixie slowly pushed her plate with her hoof towards Myrtle, offering her slices of cake to her. Myrtle was about to start eating them, but stopped herself, hesitating. She looked back to her younger sister, noticing the abysmal depression on her face, and, for maybe the first time, empathizing with it.

A long moment passed, and Myrtle slid Trixie's plate of cake back to her without eating any of it. She immediately got out of her chair to go to her own room, trying to hide her face. She didn't want her sibling to know, but Myrtle was actually feeling guilty for recent events. She was ashamed of what she did at the mine that day, and after seeing Heavy-Heart snap at Trixie, realized that they shared some common emotions. It was just hard for her to see before, when she was so used to the blanket of hatred and blame shrouded over Trixie, previously only seeing her as something along the lines of "that thing that killed my mother". She even wanted to apologize to her, but just couldn't bring herself to yet.

Trixie remained sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the cake on her plate for what felt like an eternity. A lingering thought in the back of her mind suggested that she should go play with Special, but she didn't feel like it. That wasn't her daughter, just a doll, and nothing would ever change it.

She never ate any of the cake.

That night, Trixie couldn't sleep. It wasn't for any of the reasons she was used to. She had used her mind reading spell to pick up on her father's thoughts, and couldn't stop listening. He was in agony; he had been for a long time, and was trying so hard to hide it, to remain strong for his children. The health of his heart had only gotten worse over time, and the pain he was going through was starting to feel unbearable.

There was only so long that Trixie could continue to listen to her father suffering without offering help. So, she quietly sneaked out of her room and into his.

"Dad?... Dad..."

Heavy-Heart's breathing was labored. He slowly turned his head to see Trixie, his eyes struggling to focus on her image, the only illumination in the room being moonlight through the window.

"Beatrix," he breathed, clearly suffering. "What's the matter? What's got you up this late?"

"I... You're hurting, Dad... It's really bad... We need to get you help... We need to go back to the hospital..."

The stallion groaned, sinking into his bed. "Can't... There's nothing they can do, Beatrix... Can't afford a heart transplant... Can't afford... Anything... The mining cart put a big enough dent in our bits as it is..."

Trixie's ears lowered; she didn't want to accept that answer. "B-but, there has to be something we can do..."

"I'm sorry, Honey," he murmured morosely.

Trixie slowly walked to his bedside. She concentrated, focusing on her magic, and conjured the Jennet Orchids for him once more, laying them on his chest. Heavy-Heart grabbed them in his hooves, breathing in their scent.

"Thank you..."

After a few moments of hesitation, Heavy-Heart turned to look at his daughter. She had recognized that look on his face before; she saw it the morning that she killed the cockroaches. He was about to say something serious. Something important.

"Honey... Do you remember... When we talked about... Making hard decisions?..."

Trixie felt cold inside. "Yes... Why?..." When he didn't answer right away, she looked into his thoughts again, and was heartbroken by what she found. He wanted her to kill him, to put him out of his misery.

"Dad, no! You can't!"

"Listen, Beatrix... I'm not going to make it much longer like this... Any day now, at the mine, I can get hurt doing just about anything, and... It's just not going to work... I can't keep doing it..."

Trixie started to sob, clutching her father's forehoof. "Please don't go, Dad! I need you! Myrtle needs you! We both do! Please don't leave me alone!"

"I don't want to leave you alone, Beatrix... But, this hurts too much... I can't take it anymore... I'm sorry..."

He squinted his eyes shut, fighting back tears and looking away. "I wanted to try so hard... I was working with everything I had at the mine all these years... Working so hard, all that time, so that you and Myrtle would never have to... But, I failed... I'm a terrible father...  I was never there for you when you really needed me... I let Myrtle hurt you all those times without doing anything about it... And, I almost hurt you... I promised your mother I'd never hurt either of you..."

The stallion forced himself to look his child in the eyes. "And, now, I'm giving up on all of you..."

Trixie buried her face in his hoof, sobbing. She sniffled, looked at him again, and nodded slowly. "... You try your best, and you mean well, and that's why I love you, Dad..."

Deeply touched by her mutual acceptance, Heavy-Heart embraced Trixie in one last hug. As they pulled away, he cringed at another sharp pain emerging from his chest.

"Beatrix... Please..."

Trixie bit her lip, trying to muster the courage to go through with her father's desperate request. Her horn started to glow with the aura of the life extinguishing spell.

"Please..."

"... O-okay, Dad... Okay..."

She blinked, trying to clear the blurriness that her tears put in her eyes, forcing herself to focus.

'I-I don't want Dad to go... I love him... He's always taken care of me, and helped me with everything I wanted... He's a good Dad... A-and... Now, he's going to be gone, forever...'

As she felt the spell starting to fail, her headache and nosebleed already reappearing again, she tried to focus on the positive aspects of what this would accomplish, to make sure it would work.

'But... If I do this... Dad will be asleep forever... Dreaming all the time... He'll stop hurting, and never get hurt again... He'll be... He'll be at peace... That's what he wants... That's what'll make him happy... A-and I want him to be happy, because I love him...'

"I love you, Beatrix... I'll miss you..."

"You too, Dad..."

With that, she closed her eyes, finally mustering the strength and the courage to cast the spell. As she felt it leave her horn, everything went quiet. She opened her eyes a few moments later, seeing her father completely still, his eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his face. Trixie rested her head on his chest... And heard nothing.

He was gone. He was free.

She wanted to be happy for him... But, now, she was only sad that he was gone.

Trixie cried, silently, but harder than she ever cried before. One of the most important ponies in her life was gone. The pony she saw every day, who she would now never see again.

Suddenly, she felt a strange sensation on her flank. She looked behind her, and when she saw what it was, she cried harder, and smiled.

Trixie had gotten her cutie mark.

It was the very same Wand Of Peace from "The Very Special Pony".

Next Chapter: 2. Sisterhood Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 34 Minutes