Equestrian Heroes
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Naruto x ?
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Story Start
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Before he could go about solving his issues with magic, it was time he solved another consistent issue of his. He had a pretty good idea on who might have some answers, and the one who would have it he hoped would be Zecora. A zebra from a nation far southern south-east, Zecora was a potions maker and an alchemist. The Zebra people specialized in Alchemy and were known for the craft as much as Ponies were known for magic.

Zecora, he had met over a month ago during one of his excursions into the Everfree forest. They had gotten along thanks to Naruto’s friendly nature. Apparently Zecora had moved into the area a few months ago, but her monthly trips into town were met with emptiness. It took Naruto almost instantly to realize what was going on.

As a race, ponies could be rather superstitious and easily frightened, and seeing as Ponyville was a small town out in the country area that was doubly so. So whenever Naruto went into the forest he stopped by Zecora’s for the good company and lessons on lore. He had even picked up and even began using the mare’s language, to which he soon became proficient in to his surprise. While even with his new found wisdom, the tougher levels of math and sciences still gave him trouble. Naruto found he had a pretty good affinity for languages, second to that of his ability to pick up seals.

“You are the first stallion I ever heard complained about being too virile.” The Zebra stated as Naruto began relating to the shaman his problem. It had gotten to the point where he was starting to have painful blue balls that would nearly freeze him in place and the mental risk that came with self-indulgence as a Jinchuuriki wasn’t something he wanted to risk.

“Yeah well I don’t have much of an option. You must know some kind of potion that can help me.” He pleaded with the mare. To Naruto’s ire, Zecora wasn’t the stereotypical ugly swamp dweller that young children would hear about in stories.

She was an attractive mare built like an amazon, her coat a mixture of light grey and dark grey stripes, long and lean legs with a nice layer of muscle. Her figure leaned more towards athletic than voluptuous thanks to her height and muscle tones, but she still sported a nice chest and pair of hips, both wrapped in a wraparound strap and loin cloth respectively showing off her figure. The features that further highlighted her ancestry were the mohawk she sported along with her neck, adorned with brilliant amber rings and earrings. Her sharp cyan eyes seemed to roam him over before she turned to start going through some materials, most likely for a potion.

He couldn’t help but steal a glance at those plump buttocks of hers, as the loincloth was so low cut it gave off hints of lower thigh. He groaned. Zecora’s outfit common place as the temperatures from her homeland was a good deal anywhere fifteen degrees hotter on a cool day, upwards to twenty-five or even thirty during the really dry heat seasons.

He felt like a damn teenager again, one unable to control his hormones, and it was downright embarrassing. “Have you not thought of simply getting a partner?”

“I’ve been considering putting myself on the market.” That was another thing he was trying to adapt to. “I want to have a meaningful relationship, and one night stands would just detract from that endeavor. I want to avoid meaningless trysts.”

“I’m afraid the only potions I can give you would be for the pain. The type of potion you wish for comes in the form of an unintended side effect for a cure for other illnesses and that would cause your body more harm than good. Would it really be all that terrible for you to find a willing partner, or is the issue deeper than that?”

Naruto paused and thought about it. “It was more out of personal choice than anything.”

“Is the choice worth your health? If this is proving to be an issue, maybe lessening your sexual urges will allow you to channel a lesser drive into other outlets?”

As Naruto contemplated the words he wondered if he was putting his own health and peace of mind at risk for the sake of some unrealistic romanticized ideal. It wasn’t as if he was a virgin anymore anyway. Maybe, just maybe he should just finally accept the situation for what it was. Even if his soul was human he was an equine now, an anthropomorphic one at that. It was time he fully accept the situation and actually lived this new life instead of just pretending he was. “You’re right, instead of fighting and making things more difficult for myself, I should just let whatever happens just happen.”

Suddenly a familiar voice outside Zecora’s home caught Naruto’s attention. “Hello? Anypony in there?”

Naruto rushed up from where he was sitting and practically bolted out of the door. “Applebloom!”

The filly jumped slightly. “Naruto!?” Her voice cracked and she nervously giggling. “Been a while since ah last seen ya. How ya been?” Her attempts at casual chatter were met with an unamused look.

“You know how dangerous these woods are. What were you thinking, if you were thinking at all? I can’t even imagine what your family is feeling right now. Do they even have any idea you’re here? I can’t believe you would ever do something so stupid!” What had started as a scolding had developed into him yelling at the filly. The moment he realized Applebloom was in the forest so many horrible scenarios played in his head at what could have happened to the poor filly.

She could have been killed.

Petrified.

Abducted.

Assaulted.

Lost.

Drowned.

The list went on and on and it was because he was so fond of her that he had went off.

Applebloom recoiled in shock as Naruto berated her. It wasn’t the first time the filly had been on the end of an angry lecture, heck, she had her hide tanned more than once for being reckless, but this was the first time Naruto had ever been mad at her let alone raised his voice. Every time she tried to speak, he would cut her off. Her eyes fell and began to water. All she wanted was to prove to Applejack she wasn’t a helpless filly that needed to be looked after at all times. Ever since the Timberwolves incident she felt like a foal, but now any gains she may have had were gone now.

Applejack was mad at her. Naruto was mad at her. Big Mac was definitely going to be mad and Granny was going to be disappointed. Try as she might Applebloom couldn’t push back the pain and soon broke into a sob.

Naruto’s anger broke way into regret. He hadn’t intended on getting that mad, but what Applebloom did was so reckless it scared him. He was fond of the filly, and having anything happening to her was something he did not want to consider. “I’m sorry Bloom. It’s alright.” He pulled the crying filly into a hug, speaking soothing tones as he patted her back.

“I’m sorry I went off on you like that.” He then turned to Zecora who was in the doorway looking on in concern. “Do you mind if I bring her in? I want to know what crazy idea or reason would have her come all the way out here.”

“It is alright by me. I also wish to know what would inspire a filly to brave such dangerous elements.”

With that he brought the filly inside so she could explain her actions. Learning about the condition of Twilight and the others was a bit disconcerting. Learning about the town flipping out over Zecora’s appearance, not so much, seeing as he had come to learn that you had to take the bad with the good when it came to your place of residence.

Either way he and Bloom had finished gathering the plants they needed for the cure. By the time they had made their way back to the hut the sound of commotion could be heard from inside. The two of them dashed inside to see the bearers confronting Zecora. “Hold on before you…holy hell!” He finished, seeing what the effects of the flowers had on the six.

"Apple Bloom!" Applejack called out. "You're okay!"

“Naruto? Darling what are you doing here?” Rarity asked in surprise as the others mirrored the sentiments.

“I was visiting Zecora here for some help. I meant to introduce you girls to her earlier, but if you remember the past few weeks haven’t been the best.” He explained. “What in Equestria do you six think you’re doing by the way?” Regardless of their reasons, he wasn’t going to stand by and let his friends hurt each other.

"Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was gonna cook Applebloom up into soup!" Twilight answered in rapid fire fashion.

To everyone's confusion, both filly and zebra managed a smile, and then laughed as if it was a joke. Naruto shook his head and chuckle. “Those five I can understand, but you Twilight?” Naruto’s little comments earned glares from the other mares.

“What about our conditions? You don’t think these are curses?” She asked, noting the afflictions they were all hit with.

“That’s poison joke infliction. It’s an unusual plant that grows in the Everfree.” Naruto explained.

"If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact." Zecora added, switching over to Equestria so the others could understand her.

"'Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!'" Twilight repeated the words, eyes widening as she realized they had mistook a warning as a threat.

"That plant is much like poison oak," Zecora then chuckled. "But its results are like a joke."

Applejack poked out of the zebra's mane. "What in the hay does that mean?"

"It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead, this plant just wants a laugh." The Zebra furthered explained.

"Will somepony please talk normal?" Applejack further pressed.

"I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Apple Bloom, we ran into the poison joke." Twilight clarified. "All of our problems are just little jokes it played on us."

"Little jokes?!" Applejack was not impressed. "Very funny." She bitterly added.

“I read a little about them. The poison joke takes note of the victims greatest personal strength, what they take pride in and give them an affliction that makes the victim only capable of performing the exact opposite of that strength.“ He observed each of them. “Twilight as a Unicorn and Element of Magic, it looks like your horn was effected, and Applejack being a strong farm mare and Earth Pony, you being shrunk makes sense. So on and so on.”

Rainbow then stepped forward and asked. "Okay, fine. But…what about the cauldron?"

"And the chanting?" Fluttershy asked, the deep voice startling Naruto as he was not expecting that.

"And the creepy décor? Rarity added.

Zecora eyed a couple of masks that have wound up on the floor thanks to Rainbow Dash. While Naruto and Bloom were on their way back, Rainbow had slammed them to the floor. "Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello,' and this, 'welcome.'"

"Not welcoming at all, if you ask me." The Pegasus grumbled.

“Funny, it's not like Ponyville is a culturally diverse town with three tribes or anything.” Naruto sarcastically pointed out.
Naruto’s comment caused the mares to wince. In particular it struck a chord with Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. The look he added caused them to remember the Trixie incident. Instead of talking with Zecora they had let their fear and paranoia get the better of them. They had essentially acted like bigots. How could they, as ponies, preach about love and tolerance if they themselves weren’t willing to abide by their own philosophy?

"The words I chanted were from olden times, something you call a nursery rhyme." Zecora further explained.

“In fact we were helping Zecora gather ingredients while she made a cure for poison joke.“ He said as he brought up the book that Zecora was using. “An all-natural remedy made from the herbs in the forest.”

"But I tried to find a cure in all my books and couldn't find anything." Twilight noted as she skimmed over the page. "What book has this natural remedy?"

“Supernaturals. Natural Remedies And Cure-Alls That Are Simply Super.” He answered as Twilight’s eyes widened.

“Twilight, dear, correct me if I am wrong. Was that not the same title of the book in your library? The same one you dismissed without reading?” Rarity irritably asked, having to tread through this horrible forest in her good pair of boots for a cure they had in town.

“I…uugh…” Twilight’s cheeks began to adorn a blush. She had dismissed the book without even giving it a chance. She? Of all ponies did not take time to consult a book or search its authenticity. She was so embarrassed.

Zecora chuckled, looking over the group. "Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book." Bloom laughed at the end of this.

"Zecora, would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?" Twilight pleaded, hoping Zecora would be kind enough to aid them, even if the zebra had no obligations to do so.

"Mix it up, I certainly will, yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville."

"But whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops are mysteriously closed." Applebloom noted, having missed the reasons behind it.

"Oh! Well…" Twilight gave a smile. "…I think we can help you with that."

“Yeah but before that,” Naruto said as he glanced around the ruined hut. “We have a home to fix up.” Naruto noted as the Mane Six couldn’t help but inwardly winched at their actions. This time the lesson was going to stick.

Sure enough, the bearers were able to convince the town that Zecora was in fact not an evil enchantress. While some members of the town were stuck in their belief and holed themselves up inside, others were willing to give the Zebra a chance and was at least willing to meet her.

One by one, ponies had begun gathering outside of Carousel Boutique to get a glimpse of the Zebra. Those like Aloe and Lotus who were in the spa business were curious about the Zebra’s knowledge in herbs and the concoction to which she used to cure the poison joke.

The flower trio, fascinated by plant life in general was practically ensnared by Zecora’s stories of the plants of her native homelands.

Even Mayor Mare had come down and offered Zecora the choice to legally register and become a citizen of Ponyville. All the while, the bearers were inside relaxing in the water as the cure took effect.

Sure enough this incident would inspire another report from Twilight to the Princess, but one thing bothered Naruto. After asking several ponies about where the rumors with Zecora started, tracing them back to Pinkie Pie, he had asked the mare why she began spreading rumors about Zecora. From what he knew of Pinkie it didn’t sound anything like her, when the pink mare admitted she was warned by a mare named Starry Night about an evil enchantress taking residence in the Everfree.

Checking back with several other residents, no mare fitting the description of the one Pinkie described was seen in town. For a moment, Naruto would have discounted this as just some racist, but he had received confirmation from Zecora herself she gave her name to no native in this area without having a proper conversation. Baltimare was the last place where she could remember having a formal conversation, where she revealed her name before arriving to the area by train.

Well there was one pony she had talked to, asking for directions for the nearest town, but that pony had been a Pegasus while the one Pinkie Pie described was a unicorn. Naruto decided there was no sense in worrying about it now until either one of the two mares showed up or they had gotten more information. Right now he needed to focus on sorting out his own issues before looking into anything else.

Next Chapter: Date: Princess Luna! Estimated time remaining: 53 Hours, 43 Minutes