“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Uris screamed as Ramirez slammed on the brakes. The Humvee screeched to a halt, sending the ponies and the Lieutenant crashing against the back of the front seats.

“Oww…the hell…” Parker grumbled, rubbing a new sore spot on his nose.

“Why are we stopping nowwww…” Twilight moaned.

“Because apparently, the US Marines and Navy SEALs just got together and decided t’start a ditch-diggin’ business,” Ramirez replied, pointing out the windshield.

“What?” Parker leaned over the passenger’s seat and peered out the windshield, and immediately found himself face-to-face with a thirty-foot drop into a muddy ditch below. “GWAH!” The Lieutenant promptly sprang back, falling right out the side door and landing on his rear end.

“All the grace of a ballerina, sir,” Ramirez snickered as he eased out of the Humvee. He peered into the massive ditch that had spontaneously grown in front of Coltton. The Humvee had stopped barely a foot from the ledge; if the sun wasn’t just peeking over the horizon, he might have gone careening right into the chasm, ending the Elements’ part in the Battle for Equestria in a rather anti-climactic fashion.

“What is this, some kinda…human war ritual?” Dash asked as she and her friends trotted up next to him.

“Naw,” Uris said, limping out of the vehicle. “It looks kinda like an impact crater, but I’ve never seen something this big.”

“Look!” Parker pointed along the ditch, where their brethren continued their literally uphill battle, covered by a flickering wall of magic. In front of them was a TON of enemy, throwing themselves at the shield as they ran out of ammo, doing everything in their power to stall the American advance. Behind them, the Princesses struggled to maintain some sort of spell, practically rolling on the ground with agony while some unidentifiable human tended to them. He squinted at the mud leading up to the ridge: there were a ton of bodies in there, and most of them looked like they were wearing American uniforms. He shivered. He would be in the middle of that right now if it wasn’t for Vance’s orders to evacuate the MASH!

“Naw, check that out!” Ramirez pointed across the ditch, where the Swarm brothers continued their battle with Mars. As they watched, the little figure in a leather jacket emptied a few rounds in the direction of the figure in the gray trench coat. Another, silvery figure lunged with a pair of strange, elongated limbs, only to be grabbed and swung around by the leg, used as a projectile against his own brother.

“Jesus, it’s like watching an anime!” Parker gasped. The other humans turned to him, eyebrows arched. “Not that I…watch that shit…or anything…” the Lieutenant quickly added.

“Dude, you’re in good company here,” Uris said, smiling cockily as he hooked a thumb over at Ramirez. The SEAL shot him a glare that could curdle milk.

“Okay all, what’s say we get this started?” AJ said, pressing a hoof to her Element. “The sooner we get this done, the more lives we save.”

“Sounds nice,” Parker replied, motioning to the ponies. “Ladies, if you please.”

Nodding, the Elements of Harmony gathered in a small circle. Taking one another’s hooves, they waited until Twilight lit a tiny spark of magic into the tiara on her head. Each of the jewels glowed brightly as the six rose into the air, surrounded by a hue of shimmering magic that glowed like the sun as the air around them filled with hundreds of pinpricks of light. Their manes started to billow in some nonexistent wind.

“Pretty…” Parker said, dumbstruck by the display.

“It’s even better in real life,” Ramirez gasped.

“Dude, you are such a…” Uris started before the SEAL laid him out over the ground with a sock to the jaw. “OW! Goddamn dude, you just hit a cripple!”

“And if he doesn’t shut up, he’s gonna be a corpse too! Now shush!”

Helping the pilot back to his feet, the humans watched as a tiny bolt of magic danced from Twilight’s jewel to the next, whirling around the girls, growing bigger and bigger while a low hum built in the air. Uris could almost hear a choir of angels singing in his head, their pitch rising with the Elements’ power. Even the non-brony pilot had to admit he was awestruck by the display, feeling privileged to simply be here, right now, watching as these ponies summoned a power capable of defending an entire kingdom from any threat, great or…

Suddenly, the aura disappeared. The ponies’ eyes jolted open as they each plummeted to the ground, right into the arms of the watching humans.

“Wow, that was really anticlimactic,” Uris said as Rainbow swooped out of his arms and Fluttershy gently turned over to drift to the ground.

“What happened!?” Applejack gasped while Ramirez lowered her and Pinkie to the ground.

“I don’t know! The Elements still have power,” Twilight added, hovering out of Parker’s grip alongside Rarity. “I mean, I can feel it…it’s just like…”

“Like it got all sucked up back into these,” Pinkie said, gazing at her jewel. Frowning, she started gnawing at an edge of the gem, trying to break the magic out.

“That’s it!” Twilight realized. “The Elements are charging! They’re gathering magic from all around! Can’t you feel it?”

The ponies all closed their eyes and pressed a hoof to their jewels. It didn’t take long for even the non-unicorns to feel it: the magical spark growing in each of their gems, cycling up with power, a low hum emanating from them.

“What? They ain’t Ipods!” Ramirez said. “They’ve never needed any sorta charge before!”

“They’ve never faced anything like Mars before,” Parker said darkly. Everyone else looked at him, eyebrows hunched in confusion. He sighed and gazed across the chasm just as the brothers dog-piled Mars, only to be blown back as the rogue demigod took off into the air with a supersonic blast. “I’ve read Swarm’s file. The brothers that refer to themselves by that title are each insanely powerful. Two of them together should be unstoppable. The fact that Mars has been holding his own against them speaks volumes.”

He shook his head. “Our enemy is even more powerful than I’d ever dreamed. Probably even stronger than the Princesses.”

“So, what, we wait?” Uris shrugged.

“Our boys don’t have time for that,” Uris sighed, looking out at the magical barrier keeping his brethren safe. He may not have been a wizard, but he knew that wall didn’t look good.

“No, no they don’t,” Parker said, turning away from the chasm.

“Well, what’re we waiting for!?” Dash said. “Let’s get over there and kick some flank!”

“As wonderful as kicking some…flank sounds, shouldn’t the Elements be our main concern right now?” Rarity asked.

“Rarity’s right. We can’t risk losing one of you in the battle! We could lose everything!” Ramirez added.

“Beg yer pardon, Rami, but Ah can’t sit idly by while a buncha yer friends get their rear ends handed to ‘em fer my sake!” AJ said indignantly.

“Yeah! What’re we gonna do, just sit here while our bros get shredded over there!?” Uris said.

“Oh? And what’re you gonna do, Mr. Cripple?” Ramirez said.

“The fuck didja just say to me, furfag!?” Uris screamed back.

“Oh, you did NOT just lump me in with…” Ramirez peeled off his helmet, unable to finish the sentence. Gritting his teeth, he raised his fists, readying himself.

“Oh, I think I did,” Uris replied, raising one of his crutches like a weapon.

Immediately, the ponies leapt into action, pulling the humans away from each other. “Gentlemen, please!” Twilight said, placing herself between the two. “Can we maybe set the testosterone aside for a second and try to think clearly?”

“Yeah! How else are we gonna find out where that other guy went?” Pinkie said as she tugged at Uris’s arm.

Immediately, the humans stopped screaming at one another. “What other guy?” Uris asked.

All eyes turned to the Humvee as it revved up. Burning rubber, it squealed back away from the ledge and took off along the city’s border, racing towards where the chasm tapered off. “That crazy sonofabitch!” Ramirez screamed, quickly throwing himself into the chasm. The others soon followed, skidding along the side as carefully as they could.

“Please don’t tell me he’s gonna try something crazy!” Uris screamed, trying to keep his weight off his bad leg while the group clumsily made its way to the bottom.

“Dude, he’s an American soldier!” Ramirez screamed back, watching the Humvee pull a one-eighty and take off along the opposite side of the chasm, barreling right at the enemy horde. “I can guarantee he’s gonna try something crazy!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon!” Miller screamed, cussing silently as he changed yet another magazine on his rifle. “We’re almost there! Just ten more yards!” He was nearly drowned out as a grenade landed right in front of the shield, blasting it with shrapnel. A few grunts to his left dropped, the lucky ones clutching at their faces and screaming in pain, the unlucky ones just lying motionless. A few more rounds ricocheted off around him; nearly deafening what little was left of his hearing. And still the enemy attacked.

“Sir,” the man at his side said, panting heavily. “It’s hopeless. There’s just too many of ‘em.”

“You will take that pussy attitude and ram it up your ass, Private!” The SEAL screamed back, trying to ignore the way the shield before him flickered weakly against each fresh shot and explosion it took, and the way the enemy didn’t seem to be running out of bodies to replace the few they managed to take out on the ridge line, and the dozens of corpses of his fellow SEALS and Marines lying face down in the mud behind him. Okay, so the situation had officially dipped back into FUBAR territory.

He peeked over his shoulder to see how the Princesses were doing, and his heart nearly dropped into his shoes. There in the mud knelt the Princesses of Equestria, their eyes rolled up in the backs of their heads, expressions of utter pain on their faces. Luna was nearly on the ground from the sheer effort the shield required of her, her horn flickering and crackling sickly. Her sister was at least on her haunches, tears of pain rolling down her cheeks as her horn crackled and popped. And still, that wasn’t the most incredible thing Miller could see, terrifying and heartbreaking as it was. That honor belonged to his Captain, THE Captain Vance, the hero of Fallujah, the hardened American-made machine of war, and the man chosen to lead the American Expeditionary Forces into Equestria, kneeling at their sides and stroking their manes comfortingly. As the SEAL watched, jaw agape, the Captain leaned forward and whispered something into Celestia’s ear. No, wait, his Adam’s Apple was moving too quickly for just whispering. He was singing. THE Captain Vance was singing to comfort a pretty little pony princess, trying to keep her happy as her magic threatened to give way.

After a few seconds of staring, the Captain’s eyes drifted back to the ridge line and spied Miller. His look turned rock solid in a heartbeat. He raised a finger to his lips in a “shushing” gesture while shooting the SEAL a look that said: I swear to God if you tell anyone about this I’ll rip your throat out and have you dragged through the Mojave desert by your balls.

Miller just smiled in return. “We all gotta do our parts for the war,” he mumbled, quickly turning to rejoin the fight.

“Aw God, it’ll take a miracle to save us now!” The Private at Miller’s side screamed hopelessly. Before Miller could turn and nail the Private in the crotch with the butt of his rifle, a green blur shot by, mowing down the tangoes right in front of them, leaving behind only the smell of exhaust.

The pair stared at the empty spot, where a couple of mangled bodies now lay in place of a couple of tangoes. “The fuck was that?” The Private asked.

“Whatsamatter Private?” Miller asked, smiling knowingly. “Dontcha know a miracle when you see one?”

The Humvee darted back into view, riding along the ridge, holding the enemy at bay. “Holy cockballs, is that Parker!?” The Private asked.

“That’s Lieutenant Parker to you, son.”

“COME AND GET SOME, YOU NAZI SONS OF WHORES!” Parker screamed out the window, an M4 blasting away randomly. Sure, it looked badass, but Miller could tell the Lieutenant was ready to wet himself. Every single body that fell under his wheels made him jerk in surprise, his hands shaking visibly as he shakily lobbed a few more shots off from the rifle, but what he was doing was just way too important and way too awesome to possibly give up. The Lieutenant revved up the engine, shooting right past the trio in the middle of the field, who could only stare awestruck as the Humvee plowed right into the Nazi flanks on the ridgeline, mowing down man after man. A cheer rose up from the chasm as the Humvee veered off for another pass, bullets ricocheting off its armor.

“Alright, men!” Miller screamed, watching the Humvee literally plow through the enemy lines. “That’s our cue! Let’s take that damn ridge!”

“HOO-RAH! HOO-YAH!” The Americans unleashed their own battlecry, vaulting Celestia’s shield and launching themselves right across those last few yards to the top, taking the high ground as Parker shot by once again, a fist pumping victoriously as he rode past.

At the bottom of the chasm, Vance looked up, a tear almost (but not quite) in his eye. “Ain’t that the most beautiful sight you ever saw?” He asked.

“Wha-what’s going…” Celestia asked, her eyes rolling wildly in their sockets from the pain.

“Oh! Sorry Princess, you can stop now.”

“Y-you…shuh-sure about…” Luna asked.

“Yes, I’m sure, go ahead,” he smiled. “We’re good now. It’s all gonna be good now.”

“That’s nice…” the Princesses’ magic dissipated, their horns letting off a few residual sparks. They immediately collapsed onto their backs, panting heavily.

“That was…intense…” Luna panted.

“Good job, ladies,” Vance said, standing and saluting. “Really, a fantastic job. Good job, good job, how are you two still single, good job.”

“Whu-what?” Celestia asked, sweat glistening off her unkempt, alabaster coat.

“Good job.”

“Oh. Th-thank you.”

Back on the ridge line, Miller and the others had a line of fire set up overlooking the field, using the quick reprieve to mow down the remainder of the scattered enemy running for the cover of the forest. “We’ve got ‘em now, boys! We’ve got…”

Miller paused. Mars was right there. He could see the bastard, standing right over the Swarm brothers. The demigod glared back at him, and the SEAL watched a few years of his life pass in front of his eyes. A terrible grin crossed the bastard’s face, maniacal but with a hint of horrifyingly powerful intelligence: like a cross between the toothy grin on the Joker’s face and the little half-smile Anthony Hopkins had in Silence of the Lambs. Still wearing the smile, one of the demigod’s gloved hands rose into the air and snapped its fingers. A deep rumble filled the air. “Oh hell,” Miller muttered as the rumble grew louder. “Oh HELL!”

The rumble broke as not one, not two, but four monstrous tanks tore onto the field, flattening underbrush as they roared into position. The ground shook as they bore down on the American lines, their humongous cannons swiveling wildly as the crews inside scanned for the small, ant-like men bracing themselves along the ridge line. “Aw, and then the clouds parted and the Lord Jesus Christ came down to say: ’Miller, I hate your ass’.” The SEAL grumbled.

“Sir?” The man next to him asked. “Now might be the time to tell you that our guys found something in one of the vehicles.”

Miller sighed. What could they have possibly found to go up against another one of those monstrosities? “What is it?”

“Javelins, sir. Three of ‘em.”

Miller grinned. The FGM-148 Javelin rocket was among the most advanced pieces of technology in America’s arsenal: all the power and precision of a cruise missile from a launcher that could be carried by one man. Just key in the targets, launch, and watch it blow the enemy straight to hell. Well, as long as everyone was bringing their best toys to the playground, might as well show off some of their own. “Get that shit setup, pronto!” He barked, pulling a pair of field binoculars out of his pack.

“Yes, sir!” The private threw himself back down the slope, helping the small squad of men traipsing through the mud haul the launchers into position. This was perfect. They might just survive the day after all! Things were finally going their way!

He turned back to the binoculars, and the smile faded. “Aw shit, almost forgot about you,” he mumbled. Parker was still in his Humvee, now caught in the killing zone between the American line and the enemy tank formation. He watched the Lieutenant slam on the brakes and pull the Humvee into another one-eighty, tires squealing against the grass, straining for a grip. Miller could even see his face through the windshield: his eyes wide with fear as he pressed the vehicle to its limits.

“Get a goddamned move on!” The SEAL screamed over his shoulder. Breathless, the soldiers rushed the last few yards up the ridge and collapsed at his side, immediately working to get the launchers ready, loading them up and calibrating the rockets. But it wasn’t fast enough. Not anywhere near fast enough. Parker had maybe ten seconds before he was just a skidmark on the grass. Jesus, he was gonna watch the Lieutenant die right here!

No, wait. Swarm was looking at the Humvee, then at the tank, then back to the Humvee, and back to the tank, and then right at Vance. A cocky half-smile crossed the demigod’s face, as if he were saying: “Keep watching. You’re about to see something cool.” Quick as a flash, Swarm’s M1911 appeared in his hand and leveled at the lead tank while its turret swiveled towards the Humvee.

“What’re you up to, you maniac?” Miller grinned, not daring to look away lest he miss something. He watched the barrel of the 1911 level on a spot right in front of the tank’s barrel, lining right up with it. “Oh, no way.” He was gonna shoot the damn shell! He was gonna shoot it right out of the air! He wasn’t sure about the physics of a .45 caliber round nailing a fucking tank shell, but maybe if it was one of Swarm’s bullets, it would work…and be totally show-offy, but still, holy crap: he was gonna watch a man shoot a shell out of mid-air!

The world slowed for the SEAL. He watched the demigod’s finger tense over his weapon’s trigger, the double-action hammer rising and beginning to fall back on the round in the chamber. He watched as a smile spread over Swarm’s face and the tank’s barrel lined up to take the shot. He watched the beginnings of flames start to chase the shell out of the barrel. He watched as Mars suddenly darted into view, a blur even in this slowed-down world circulating around them. He watched that damned hand cannon appear in Mars’ hand and level on Swarm. He felt himself stand and begin to shout a warning, as if anything he did could possibly reach the man in the leather jacket in time. He watched Mars fire, and Swarm’s arm disappear in a massive, silvery cloud. He watched the surprise grow on Swarm’s face, the desperation as he leaped forward as if to block the shell with his body. He watched the shell whizz right past Swarm’s outstretched fingers and smash clean through the Humvee’s rear, tearing through the armor like tissue paper. He saw the look of hope grow on Parker’s face as the Lieutenant neared their lines.

He watched that look change in the last moment before a massive fireball ripped through the Humvee’s cabin, completely engulfing the Lieutenant. He watched the Humvee flip end over end into the air, and suddenly, the world was right back to its normal pace. “NOOO!” Miller screamed as the blackened husk came crashing back down.

“Sir, we’re ready to fire!” The man next to him gasped.

“FIRE AT WILL, GODDAMMIT!”

“FIRING FOR EFFECT!” The soldiers next to him unleashed their ordinance, the Javelins launching themselves into the air before firing their engines. The portable cruise missiles slammed down on the tank formation like the fist of God, flattening the behemoths underneath a wall of flame, but all too late for the mangled ruins of the Humvee lying on its roof in the middle of the field.

The Lieutenant lowered his binoculars. “Hit for maximum effect. Well done, gentlemen.” He said solemnly as he slowly made his way down to the Captain.

Author's Notes:

Once again, make sure to leave any comments/critiques below. I always welcome constructive criticism. Trolls will be reported (but I might only block you if you're particularly creative in your trolling).