Her whole body ached, her left arm weighed a ton, and it felt as though somebody had stuffed her head with old dish towels. That was the first thing that ran through her mind as she slowly became aware of her surroundings. The second thing that caught her attention was the quiet beeping of machines next to the bed in which she lay.

Great, I'm in a hospital, she sighed inwardly, of course the overbearing smells of disinfectant helped in this diagnosis. Swallowing in a vain attempt at quenching her dry throat, she went about the effort of trying to collect her thoughts. Though this in itself was close to impossible… head traumas usually resulted in some memory loss.

Well, might as well take a look around.. She finally thought. Gently she forced her eyes to open. The first thing to meet his gaze was a blurry object sitting on the rolling table beside her bed. It took a moment for the image to clear into a clear plastic water bottle… WATER! her mind locked onto the bottle, her dry throat begging for the liquid within. However, as she quickly reached out for the water bottle, the weighted cast banged off the edge of the rolling table and sent the bottle tumbling to the floor.

"Fuck me!" her voice cracked…

Flash Sentry was not a happy guard pony, no-sir-re-bob! With the Empire in the midst of its estrus season, it meant that able-bodied guards were few and far between. And being one of the low ponies on the totem pole, he had been picked to stand guard over the new human in town… or at least until somepony from Ponyville arrived to retrieve said human.

Speaking of Ponyville, they had just finished their two week long heat cycle, why hadn't Prince Shining Armor requested backup from their standing garrison to bolster the Empire? No, instead he was stuck in a hospital with the pheromones of mare's in heat filling the hallways, and he was just supposed to ignore it and stand here? Yep.

"By the Queen Mother," he growled through clenched teeth. Every breath he took triggered the primitive part of his brain and reminded him it was time to breed. By Celestia, it was taking all he had and then some to keep his not so little solder from sliding out and saluting every pony who trotted past. As it was, he was sporting a serious case of blue-balls.

Buck it, if he didn't rut something soon, he was going to go out of his ever-loving mind! What Flash needed was a distraction from the shapely crystal pony nurses that would pass by, a few had even lifted their tail as they passed, teasing him with a view of their sex and the smell of their heat. They knew he was under orders to not leave his post, but it didn't stop them from antagonizing the pour tan Pegasus.

Luckily a timely distraction happened just as one of the cute younger nurses began her march towards his direction, and it came from the room he was guarding.

Quietly as he could, so as to not disturb the human who was asleep within, Flash slipped into the room and gently closed the door. The air in here was remarkably clearer of pony pheromones and helped to settle the raging drive for sex that his mind and balls begged for… That was until he turned around and saw the human on all fours, reaching for something under the bed. He knew she was female for her hospital gown had fallen open in the back and was framing her ass…sets. Yeah, framing her assets.

At first Flash didn't move, his hooves frozen to the spot. There she was, head and shoulders pressed to the floor, backside held high in the air and swaying slightly as she fished for whatever was under her bed. The human was in the most perfect breeding pose and was practically begging to be mounted…

Somewhere in the back of Flash's mind, the primitive pony beat down and won the battle with his more civilized self. With a loud snort Flash dashed forward becoming a wild stallion as he claimed his prize.

He wasn't too sure how long he lay trying to catch his breath, it had taken a while for the fog of mating had lifted enough for his rational mind to take back control. Yet once he was able to think clearly, it dawned on him the crime he had just committed… and that the human was gently holding him in her arms. Fear gripped at Flash's very soul and his body began to tremble uncontrollably as he looked into the human's eyes.

He was about to beg for her forgiveness, to break down and weep at his failing to follow his training and that his career in the guards was over… when she spoke first.

"You're Flash Sentry." It was a statement, not a question, and that shock alone stopped his shivering.

"…yes ma'am…"

"So I take it I'm in Equestria," she asked, her voice showing no anger, and her gentle embrace showing no malice.

"Yes, the Crystal Empire to be exact," he acknowledged with a slight nod.

"So Sombra has already been defeated," she mumbled to herself before softly poking his nose. "And if you're here, that means Twilight is now a princess…"

"I'm Sorry!" the words blurted from his mouth even before he knew he had said them.

"Excuse me?" she blinked

"I'm sooo sorry," he began to cry, tears rolling from his large blue eyes. "I attacked you, forced you to… oh Celestia, why are you not angry with me?"

Slowly a smile came to the girl's lips…

"I'm sorry you guys had to come all this way," Shining said as he, Dawn, Anon, and Mark marched through the hospital corridors. "Couldn't you have just sent somepony to pick the girl up?"

"Normally, yes, but Dawn insisted that we both needed to be here," Mark sighed, giving his shoulders a roll in order to pop his neck.

"Yeah, and he won't say why." Anon grumbled. Like Mark, he was not happy with spending the last three days on a train built for ponies. "Only that she is a young girl who was in an auto accident."

"I assured you both this was quite necessary," Dawn simply said, still not hinting at what was going on.

"Well either way, all your question will be answered in just… what the hay?" The entire group was brought up short when Shining Armor suddenly slammed on the brakes and began looking about for something.

"You okay there Shiny?" Mark inquired of the confused prince.

"No… er I mean yes, I'm fine," he managed to recover, though he was definitely upset. "But the new guard who is supposed to be on duty won't be!"

"How new?" Mark couldn't help but eye the prince.

"Fresh out of boot," Shining growled.

"Ouch," Anon flinched.

"Shining, why don't you go find your missing guard," Dawn spoke up, "while we go in and greet the new arrival."

Nodding to his guests, Shining first watched them step into the girl's room, before turning and heading to the nurse's station. He was halfway there when Anon poked his head back out into the hallway and whistled. "Not so loud, this is a hospital," the unicorn hissed through clinched teeth once he rejoined the group.

"Just thought you'd like to know," Mark's twin ushered him into the room and stepped aside to reveal the human girl in her bed… with a tan furred, blue mane and tailed pegasus held tightly in her arms, both wide awake and staring in surprise and horror at their new guests. "I think we found your missing guard."

"Dam, smells like they've been getting their freak on," Mark noted the lingering stink of sex that floated about the room.

"Mark, Anon, I would like you both to meet Stephanie Durnkinscoff," Dawn began, getting everyponies attention.

And then they were staring at Anon's limp body, who crumpled to the ground quite like a ragdoll.

Slowly, Stephanie scooted to the edge of her bed while Mark quickly filled her in on Dimensional shift and alternate realities, the whole time she just peered over at the man now out cold on the floor. "Did my big brother just faint?" she finally asked, interrupting the general.

"It would appear so," Mark chuckled as he gave his double a nudge with an armored boot. Hard. To the side of his head.

"So let me get things straight, you're his twin... something or another... from another dimension?"

"Correct."

"And you say he's now going by that 4chan shit?"

"Right again," Mark smiled while holding out his hand. "And might I add, you seem to be handling all of this quite well."

"Thanks," she took his hand as she climbed out of bed, wobbling a little as she stood up. "Normally I would be freaking out about now, but one of us needs to be an adult... and seeing as he's being a pussy, it falls on me."

Turning slightly, Mark regarded the young woman who looked so much like his little brother and smiled. "I think I'm going to like having you around."

"Thanks, I think I'm going to like having a second big brother," she giggled. "One who isn't a giant wuss."

Mark could only laugh.

While this was going down, Shining had sidled over to the hospital bed and was staring daggers at the pegasus, not at all happy to find the recruit laying down on the job. "I should throw you in the brig," he growled with a disappointed scowl. "Leaving your post, being out of uniform, sleeping while on duty, and…"

And before he could continue to chastise the cowering Flash, Stephanie suddenly stepped up and slapped the pony prince over the head. "You leave off my Flash," she demanded as she stood before Shining Armor, waging a finger in his face. "It just so happens that he was doing his duty! So what if he was doing it while doing me, instead of standing outside my door. I'm still here and so is he!"

"Miss, if you don't mind, you are a civilian…" he snorted. "And this is a military matter."

"Shiny," Mark quickly placed a hand on the unicorn's shoulder as he shook his head. "There is no way you're going to win, trust me, I know…"

"But what about discipline, Mark? I can't very well let this slide!"

"If Stephanie is anything like my little brother, and I'm betting she is, than she won't rest until she proves you wrong, or drives you to drinking. Heavily…"

"Then what do you suggest I do?"

"Transfer Flash to my command and I'll see to his discipline," the general sighed, glancing over to the girl who now had her arms crossed over her chest. "Otherwise, I suggest investing in body doubles and keeping your head down."

To emphasize Marks words, Steph held out her left hand and pantomimed shooting the prince between the eyes.

"Thanks again for letting us stay in the palace," Stephanie said politely as she and Flash where escorted to what would be their living quarters.

"It's the least we could do for family," Nightmare Moon smiled back while leading them along the maze of hallways, rooms, and doors. "Besides, Celestia wouldn't have it any other way."

"Family," the young Drunkinscoff girl repeated the word before letting out a high pitched squeal. "I still can't believe my no good, military brainwashed brother is knocking nasties with THE Nightmare Moon! …This is sooo cool!"

"Huh, never heard of mating referred to like that before," Flash commented, his ears perking up at the odd saying.

"Hush you," Steph barked back over her shoulder, causing the tan-ish orange pegasus to flinch back and his ears to droop. "Remember, you're in silent mode until we reach our new digs!"

"Oh my, are you punishing your coltfriend for some misdeed?"

"In a way, yes," the 24 year old human sighed as she glanced back at said pony. "Flash here got a bit drunk on the train ride down from the Crystal Empire, and just happened to let slip the fact that he practically raped me, to Mark and my brother… who damn near tried to castrate him until I stepped in."

"I didn't mean to get drunk," he whimpered quietly.

"No, no you didn't," Steph acknowledged. "Anon never liked it when you were introduced in Equestria Girls, so when he and Mark started passing a jar back n forth to each other and offered you some… that should have been your first clue that something was up."

"Equestria… what…" Flash questioned in confusion, not knowing that Anon and Steph came from a world where My Little Pony was a cartoon. To be fair, neither did Nightmare Moon, who looked just as confused. NMM latched onto something else she had said to keep from being as perplexed.

"Wait, did you just say that you were raped by this… pony?" Moon blinked in disbelief and horror.

"It was an accident!" Stephanie quickly darted between Flash and the dark princess as she explained. "The entire empire was in heat, he had a bad case of blue-balls, and I was mostly naked, on my hands 'n knees… it really wasn't his fault," she then leaned in close to Moon and whispered, "And truth be told, my fields really needed a good plowing."

For a moment, Moon let her mind ponder what Stephanie had just told her while she eyed the dejected looking pegasus. He was now sitting on his haunches, head hung low, and looked to be on the verge of tears. He really was remorseful for his actions back at the hospital, even if that did lead to them becoming a couple.

However, it was Stephanie that seemed to clear Moons reservations. Upon seeing Flash looking so forlorn, the human girl suddenly dropped to her knees and cupped the pegasus' cheeks in her hands. "Ooh, Just look at you, you're so adorable when you pout," she cooed before pulling him into a comforting hug. The result was that, quite quickly, Flash had a content smile splayed across his muzzle. "Don't worry Flash, still I love you."

"Come along Stephanie, Flash," Nightmare Moon smiled as she turned and continued on. "Your accommodations are just up ahead…"

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Dawn found himself pulled from a pleasant dream by the unmistakable sound of someone being sick. The hollow echoing sound of somebody calling their uncle Ralph could only be made from a being bent over a porcelain throne. In other words, some poor schmuck was vomiting into a toilet, and seeing as how there was light coming from his private bathroom, that could only be one person.

"Jane, dear?" he called while slowly extracting himself from the warm covers of their bed.

"… I'm IN here…" her voice cracked, sounding tired and slightly disoriented at the same time. This of course made the pony of death that much more alarmed for his mate's well being.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked as he trotted over towards the closed door.

"I've been better," she had to call out over the flushing gurgle of the toilet. "I think the cockatrice from yesterday's cookout isn't sitting to well."

"Huh, I'm sorry to hear that," Dawn began, yet had to flinch away when his human opened the door and bright light flooded the dark room. "Ummm, would you like me to call the royal physician, maybe he can…"

"No, that's quite alright, I'm feeling much better so maybe I finally got it out of my system," Jane cut him off.

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," she smiled and kissed him, only to have the death pony suddenly jerk back out of her grasp. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"…you… forgot to wash your mouth out after…" he stammered, a green color showing on his cheeks as his tongue hung out. "You taste horrible."

"Ooh, sorry about that," she giggled before ducking back into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Heaving a sigh Dawn turned back towards bed, only to have the alarm on the little radio/clock start to chime. "Crap, and I was having a really good dream too," he mumbled darkly, his magic reaching out for the almost empty bottle of Black n White. "Oh well, nothing to do now but start the day off right."

An hour later he found himself sitting down to a hardy breakfast of waffles, biscuits, hash browns, and fresh blueberries. All around him sat the royal sisters and their human boy-toys, except for Max who was now a trophy husband. As for Jane, she must have been feeling better for she was scarfing down waffles three at a time, drowning them in butter and syrup. I'm surprised she didn't choke from the way she inhaled them.

"Good morning my sisters," Celestia happily chirped as she practically danced in her seat.

"Oh please," Anon groaned from the other side of the long table, the whole time eying his little sister as she cuddled with Flash. "I hate morning people… and ponies. And everything except coffee."

"I concur," Moon yawned, "How can you be that chipper so early in the morning Tia?"

"And why are you human again," Luna wondered aloud.

"For the first question, I am the Sun Princess, so I have a thing for mornings," she began.

"It also helps if you have someone who likes to rev your engine before raising the sun," Max chuckled as he slipped into a seat next to her.

"Here, here." Stephanie happily agreed.

"As for me being human," she rolled her eyes before looking between Moon and Luna. "Haven't you two tried it yet, it's a lot of fun."

Both night sisters became strangely quiet. "So you two have tried being human, but have you tried sex while in the form?" Both were now blushing profusely. "So why didn't you say anything?"

"You didn't seem to think to highly about your first time," Luna spoke first, and then pointed a hoof towards her older sister's ample breasts. "And you spent all that day complaining about how those… things… kept getting in your way."

"They are called breasts," Tia gave a curt nod.

"Or fun-bags, sweater puppies, gazongas, hooters…" Max counted on his fingers.

"Jiggle jugs, tits," Anon added.

"Melons, nom-noms," Jeremy chuckled.

"BOOBS!" the three men called out together. Stephanie didn't even bat an eye at their antics.

"Correct," Celestia giggled "And I've gotten used to them."

"But they are so uncomfortable," Moon made an observation. "They stick out of your chest instead of your belly and the nipples get so sensitive that they become annoying."

"Then somepony's not taking care of them right," Luna cut in.

"Hey now," Anon snorted. "I happen to know a few things when it comes to boobs, so I take great care of them."

"Because you are a boob," Steph stuck out her tongue.

"Sensitive nipples," the Princess of the Sun questioned, ignoring the sibling rivalry. "Are your bras too tight?"

"What's a braw?" Luna and Moon blinked in confusion.

"Bra honey, spelled B. R. A." Anon clarified while reaching for a piece of toast. "It's a garment that cups and holds your… breasts…"

"It's an Over the Shoulder Bolder Holder," Stephanie piped up, grinning wildly.

"Regardless," Celestia cut in, giving all the males (and Stephanie) in the room a death glare to silence them. "I will set up an appointment for tomorrow, Luna, you and Moon will accompany me to Rarity's for measurements and to pick out a few styles."

"Why Rarity," the larger Night Princess inquired.

"I found Torque's hidden copy of Victoria's Secret in Hanna just after arriving and gave it to Ms Rarity for… inspiration," Max answered between bites of his toast. "Marshmallow butt has been making sexy lingerie for any and all female humans ever since."

"Sister, do you wear this…" Luna paused and glanced to Max.

"Lingerie,"

"Yes dear little sister I do," Sun-Butt smiled. "It is much like the racy undergarments we ponies have, but she uses the silk Mark gave her for Heart's Warming Eve, and it feels so wonderful against one's skin."

"Then I for one cannot wait," Moon happily chirped, now looking forward to a family trip to Ponyville. After that, things began to quiet down when there was a green flash of flame and a scroll appeared next to Celestia.

"Isn't it a bit early for Twilight to be sending you a report?" Luna inquired while dumping a generous amount of whip-cream on her waffles.

"Indeed," Tia nodded as she set her fork down and unraveled the scroll. However her delightful demeanor suddenly shifted to one of shock as she silently read the letter. "Oh my, this… This is wonderful news," she suddenly exclaimed, getting everyone's undivided attention.

"What pray tell has gotten you so excited dear sister," Moon was the first to ask.

"Judy, Big Mac's filly-friend, is pregnant," the elder sister announced happily. "Seems she had been having flu like symptoms for several days, yet last night she started feeling really ill so Mac took her to Ponyville's hospital… and early this morning Nurse Redheart gave them the wonderful news."

"That's odd," Jeremy piped up. "I thought ponies and humans couldn't interbreed…"

"I find it odder that she became ill as a side effect of getting pregnant." Moon said after swallowing a mouth full of hash browns. "I do hope there is nothing seriously wrong."

"Actually, most human females get what's called morning sickness when they become pregnant." Max stated. "With my aunt, it started around the 4th week and lasted a month."

"Morning sickness is a misnomer," Stephanie informed the table. "For some pregnant women, the symptoms are worse in the morning and ease up over the course of the day, but they can strike at any time and, for most women, last all day long. The intensity of symptoms can vary from woman to woman…"

She didn't get to finish however for there was a thud and clattering from down the table. Quickly all eyes turned to find Jane frozen in place, her fork having fallen from her grasp, and Dawn face down in his waffles. "What in the name of me do you think got into them," Celestia wondered, breaking the awkward silence.

"Well, let me be the first to congratulate the two of you," said a jovial Dr. Goodhoof as he entered the private waiting room. Upon learning that Jane had been feeling nauseous earlier that morning, Celestia had seen fit to teleport everyone, including the breakfast table, to the medical wing of the palace. And after an hour of waiting for the test results… well…

That poor table.

"So, I'm really pregnant," Jane asked in total disbelief. "It's not food poisoning?"

"Nope," the doctor beamed cheerfully. "According to the test results, you're almost 5 weeks along, so again, congratulations."

"You guys realize what this means," Anon addressed the others.

"It will be the first royal foal born in over 9,000 years," Celestia smiled.

"Ooh, that means we get to throw Jane one heck of a foal-shower," Luna happily said.

"Jane and Dawn will have to cut back on their drinking," Max wondered aloud. Dawn quickly thought 'fuck that, drinking harder until it arrives'.

"Yes to all of the above," Anon grinned. "But not what I was thinking."

"Ok, I'll bite, what did you have in mind," Jeremy asked.

"Following human tradition, it's not right for a single woman to give birth to a baby out of wedlock."

While in the later 19th century this ideal had fallen by the wayside, many women from 1985 on, were choosing to be single parents. This didn't stop Max from pulling out his alien carbine from his magic pocket and powering it up. "Woo-Wee! Looks like we here are going to have ourselves a genuine shotgun weddin," he chuckled as his voice took on a more Kentucky Hills accent.

"Damn it Mark," Dawn silently cursed as the image of the General silently mouthing 'Your next,' during Celestia's wedding, flashed through his mind.

While Dawn was slipping into his dark brooding place, Nightmare Moon decided to ask a question or two. "So Doctor, if a human female and pony male can produce offspring, then does it then stand to reason that a female pony can be impregnated by a human male?"

"That would only be the only logical conclusion," the good doctor nodded in agreement. "In fact, I would go so far as to say, that any mare who didn't have the Pregnancy Blocking spell placed on them before estrus week or let their existing spell laps, may very well be in for quite a shock."

Max, who had just finished putting his Covenant carbine away while Goodhoof was talking with Moon, felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. Slowly he reached out as he turned and placed a hand on Celestia, only to find she was shivering. "Is something wrong love?"

This in turn caught Luna's attention. "Tia, is something wrong?" she asked as she watched her sister's ears slowly droop, while a clearly fake smile sat plastered on her lips.

"Oh please, Celi," Moon caught on to the situation right quick. "Tell me didn't forget to renew the spell…"

"I..I didn't forget.." the sun princess gave a sheepish reply, which in turn caused a cold pit to form in Max's stomach. "I just decided not to."

"In the name of the queen, why would you do such a thing?" Luna gasped.

"I…We…that is to say," she tried desperately to think of an excuse, only she suddenly realized she didn't need to. "Just wait one fucking moment," she quickly regained her composer and once again stood tall and regal. "I will remind my sisters, and everyone else in this room that I am married. As such, it is my joy as a wife to bare the foals of my husband."

"She's got you there," Jeremy bumped his hip into Luna's.

"Well then," Dr Goodhoof cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Princess Celestia, if you will just follow me, I think a physical is in order."

"Max… hello, is there any one home," Luna asked as she waved a hoof in front of the now catatonic man.

"You know, I wonder who else either forgot to renew the spell, or didn't think it necessary since the whole interbreeding thing was a no go," Anon wondered aloud, shooting a glance towards his sister as he found a seat and got comfortable.

"Fuck you too," Stephanie snapped back. "I'll have you know that I happen to be on the pill. Plus I just got here so I should be fine even if I wasn’t."

Meanwhile, back in Ponyville.

"Ummm, Mark, Sugarcube…" Applejack peeked her head past the door to his ‘home’ office. "Are y'all busy?"

"Hey AJ, come on in," the general smiled as he looked up from his not so favorite part of his job, paperwork. "And trust me, I could use the distraction."

"Then Ah may have some good news… Ah hope."

Suddenly an image of a green alicorn flashed within Mark's mind, and the memory of his conversation with the real Granny Smith came flooding back, causing his eyes to widen and for him to drop his pen.

You're fucked, General.

Meh, fuck it. No porn for you.