"So, did Celestia finally sack Blueballs, or throw him in a cell?" Mark asked as Dawn trotted into the spa and took a seat.

"Nope," the pony of death answered while flipping through a magazine. "Now don't get me wrong, she was pissed when she found out he was embezzling bits for his own use, and she relieved him of his job title… But he still has quite an unfortunately loyal following within the noble society, so she needs something more than ‘a bit of’ embezzling to throw him in prison."

"Fuck me, this is why I hate politics," Mark groaned, rubbing his face.

"Indeed," he agreed, "However, the good news is that Anon will be taking over for him at the ministry."

"So, other than delivering the good and bad news, what brings you by?"

"Jane is here getting a facial and her nails done," he smiled over the mag. "And being a good colt-friend, I'm here to give morale support and to be bored out of my skull."

"Good for you, so how are things going between you two?" Mark wondered while glancing down at his appointment book, yet before Dawn could respond Blake came rushing in.

"General, you need to come outside, now!" The First Lieutenant called out.

Arching an eyebrow at the man, Mark made his way over to the front doors of the spa, "What's got your panties in a bunch…" he began to ask when the echoing sound of choom, choom, choom, reached his ears.

"Tell me that's not what I think it is," Blake asked as he stepped up to Mark's side.

"That's the sound of a Ma-Deuce clearing her throat," the General stated as around him other residence of Ponyville stopped what they were doing and began looking about curiously. "But where in the hell is she singing from?"

"I would say it's coming from the Everfree Forest, probably near Fluttershy's cottage," Dawn gave out a knowing smile before ducking back into the spa. Mark could've sworn he also said something about him having a new assistant, starting Monday, but he couldn't be certain.

"My animals!" Shy squeaked as she zipped past, heading for her home at a speed unusual for the pegasus.

"Crap..." Mark sighed as he watched Dawn slip back inside. "Blake, get back to the armory and make sure the three 50 cals are still there," he hastily said before rushing after Shy, "And send someone after me with my armor, I don't want to be defenseless if there are hostiles!"

"Aye aye commandant!" Blake nodded as he took off towards the airfield.

Crossing the southern bridge, Mark caught up to Fluttershy as she came to the cross roads. To his right the road split, running past Sweet Apple Acers, the Air Field, and the School House… To his left, was the road that lead to Shy's house and the Everfree.

"Let me go Mark," she begged after he had finally caught up to her and wrapped her in his arms to stop her. "I need to get to Angel Bunny!" Mark didn’t mention that he would be happy if the little shit had gotten eaten by just about anything out there.

"Shy, Just hold on…" At that precise moment there came a rumbling growl from down the road and both human and pegasus turned, watching as an olive drab colored mini-tank came chugging along pulling a cart of zap apples. "It can't be… That's a Russian MS-1… equipped with a modern heavy 50 caliber…?" he blinked in disbelief, releasing Fluttershy.

"Hey Mark," Apple Bloom called from atop the turret, while little Apple waved from an open hatch in said turrets side.

"Hiya Daddy!"

In a numb silence, Mark and Shy watched the spectacle chug by and turn off towards the farm. After a moment, he quickly took off in a jog, catching up to the tank just as it pulled into Sweet Apple Acres. There he was met by a pleased looking Granny and a slightly bewildered Big Mac. "What in the Sam Hell is going on here?"

"We went picking zap apples!" Apple gleefully said aloud as she jumped from the machine and into his arms. "And I got to shoot up a bunch of Timber-wolves!"

"You…" Mark was now utterly confused. "You were the ones making all that noise in the Everfree?"

"Eeyup," Apple Bloom giggled.

"So yah youngins had some trouble getting these here Zap-Apples," Granny observed while Mac unhitched the cart.

"Nothin’ the Crusader Mobile couldn't handle," Bloom smiled as she patted the side of the turret with a hoof.

"Crusader Mobile?" Mark was really in the dark now. "But where… how… What. The. Fuck?"

"We found the tank in Froggy Bottom Bog, and dragged it back to our clubhouse," the girls said together.

"Ah took the time to take it apart and modify the CMCM from a two human tank to a three pony tank… or four crusaders," Bloom beamed as she began to point out what they had done to the machine. "And while the movement spells Dawn likes to use, so engines no longer need gas, was too advanced for Sweetie to cast, she found that using a Refresh Crystal in the gas tank will keep it full."

"I then used a silence spell to shield the crew cabin from the engine, making it easier to talk to one another…" Sweetie continued. "While a Heating spell or cooling spell can be used to heat or cool the crew cabin as needed."

"And if you're thinking of taking it away from us," Scootaloo opened the front driver's hatch long enough to stick her tongue out at the surprised man. "Then you can't, humans will no longer fit in here… naaaa."

"Okay…" Mark blinked as Scoots sealed and locked the hatch, her lilac colored eyes watching him intently from the armored view slit. "So where is the cannon that should be mounted in this thing and where did you get a 50 cal?"

"The original gun was all bent and junk, so we put it in the town scrap yard," Apple Bloom gave a shrug. "As for the 50cal, we… sorta… borrowed one from the armory a few weeks ago and had a copy made using Xerox the copy pony, along with one of the enchanted never ending ammo-case…"

"How in god's name did you get your hooves on one of my guns?"

"Enough jaw'n, We got work that needs doing," Granny interrupted, the look of bewilderment on Mark's face causing her to chuckle a bit. "Girls, go put yer toy away, Applejack's gonna need yer help making Zap-Jam."

"Yes'em Granny," Bloom agreed before calling down into the tank. "Yah heard her Scoots, to the club house!"

"And Mark, if y'all's done at the parlor," she looked to the confused man. "Then go help Big Mac, he's brewing up some special hard cider for Nightmare Night."

"Cutie Mark Crusader Mobile, roll out!" Scootaloo's voice happily echoed from the monster.

"But…" Mark stood dumbfounded as the tank revved its engine and roared off past the barn. The last thing he heard was Sweetie Bell asking if the "Cuteness Grenade" had worked on him… "Cuteness grenade?"

"I love you daddy," Apple giggled from his arms, her large glowing bug eyes beaming up at him.

"Oh, you're so cute when you do that…" he sighed happily… before it dawned on him. "Oh Crap!"

---

Slowly Mark examined the little shed built behind the CMC clubhouse, it was barn like in shape and painted bright red with white trim. To the average on-looker it appeared to be just an average storage shed parked behind a children's tree house… But looks were deceiving. In reality the wooden building had been designed by Apple Bloom to serve as a garage for the Crusader Mobile, a Russian T18, also known as the MS-1 light tank. Unlike tanks from Mark's time, the MS-1 was little baby toy in comparison. Standing a little over 6 feet in height, 14 feet in length, and barley 5 feet wide, this tiny terror could only fit two full grown men and had the utter audacity to reach blazing speeds that were about 10 miles an hour.

Not bad for an over grow construction tractor that weighed in at over 5 tonnes.

The original design for the tank was a captured world war 1 French Renault FT-17BS. However, after the German invasion of the Soviet Union during WW2, a number of MS-1's were refitted with a 45 mm (1.8 in) gun and entered service as the T18. And the bell shaped top that originally served as the gunner's lookout had been shaved off for a top hatch with a 1 foot tall mirrored periscope in its place, and swiveling turret.

This particular T18 had been remolded by Apple Bloom with a new hatch in the right hand side of its turret next to where a light machine gun once sat. The door was large enough for a pony to climb though yet had a sturdy three point locking mechanism. As for the Fyodorov machine gun, according to the girls it had already been missing, and in its place sat an armored view port. The last bit of remolding had been the ammo storage box built on the back of the turret. Bloom had ripped the 1 inch shell racks out and put in a set of wooden cupboards filled with several adult books, several juice boxes and an assortment of snacks.

While he wasn't sure where or how the girls had gotten their hooves on the adult novels, it was the risqué poster of Rainbow Dash in fishnet stockings and a come-fuck-me smile that sat to the left of Scoot's driver seat, that made him shake his head in disbelief.

Speaking of the little orange pegasus, the moment she had seen Mark walking up to the clubhouse, she had jumped into the driver seat and refused to budge. The interesting thing was that by doing so, she was demonstrating the 4 point seat belt harnesses Sweetie Belle had designed to keep her friends and herd mates safe. Each of the 4 seats now sported a racing harness, and oddly enough, Mark felt like ordering a few for the other tanks in the human arsenal.

The last bit of redesign done to the tank had been the removing of all Russian symbols and markings and replacing them with Equestrian ones. The final bit was the navy blue shield with rearing gold pony that was the symbol of the CMC panted on both sides of the turret. He wasn't even going to go into all the padding and pillows that decorated the inside of the tank.

"Ok, so who wants to be the one to fill me in on where you got this thing?" he asked once he had finished his inspection.

Johnnie and the girls exchanged glances for a moment, before Scootaloo let out a deep sigh.

---

"It's over here!" Bloom called out as she led the rest of the CMCs into Froggy Bottom Bog.

"Are you sure about this?" Sweetie inquired as she stepped around a mud puddle.

"Sure Ahm sure," the orange filly nodded. "Yesterday Ah was helpin Zecora when Ah found it… its right over here."

"That's what you said the last three times," Scoots rolled her eyes, yet she kept pace with her friends until Apple Bloom let out a whoop that startled her and Sweetie Belle. "What in the name of Celestia?"

"Is that a tank?" Johnnie wondered as Bloom took a moment to pull the vines away from the beast's metal hide. The monster only stood some 6 foot tall and was barely 5 feet wide. Other than the large craggy hole through its turret, the thing was in remarkable shape. "Huh," the teen said as he clamored up its side to look within. "By the look of the interior it was manned by a crew of 2, a driver and a gunner… Looks like one of them there French light tanks I’ve heard about."

"You think we can repair it?" Scoots asked of Apple Bloom as she jumped up and stuck her head in next to John-boy.

"We would need a place to keep it while we worked," Bloom gently rubbed her chin while she thought it over. "But yeah, Ah think we could do it."

"Now wait," Johnnie shook his head. "We have to tell the General about this. He's going to want to add it to the motor-pool, and search for whoever was in this thing…"

"By the look of these here vines, and how far it's sunk in the mud, this has been here for almost a year," Bloom stated while walking around the machine.

"Still, we need to tell him…"

"Hold on there, Johnnie," Sweetie Belle pulled out his contract from… somewhere. "This contract states that CMC business will only be discussed between CMC members, unless a majority override is approved." She said as she waved the rolled up parchment at him. "Now you signed this, and Mark already said that you are bound by it…"

"Yahr part of the CMC, and this hear's CMC business," Bloom pointed out as she finished her walk around. "So we keep this a secret fer' now."

"Fine, but what about the people who were in it?"

"I think I know what happened to them," Scoots announced as she reappeared from inside the tank, a 3 foot long, off-white conical thing with a needle sharp tip in her front hooves.

"What on God's green earth is that," John gasped as the thing rolled off the side of the tank and into the mud.

"It's a hydra's tooth," Sweetie jumped back.

"Hydra?"

"It's a giant 3 headed lizard like thingy…" Scootaloo clarified.

"How big is giant," Johnnie asked as he nervously began glancing about the swamp.

"About 3 times bigger than our barn," Apple Bloom calmly added.

"Ummm, maybe we should dig this thing out and leave…" the teen began to shiver.

---

[2 months later]

"Wow Bloom," Johnnie was generally surprised when he walked into the shed that now acted as a garage for the small tank. Apple Bloom had said something to her older brother, Big Mac, and almost overnight the stallion/filly team had erected a small barn like shed behind the CMC club house. "I like what you did here."

"What can Ah say," she sighed as she whipped grease off her hooves. "The last few weeks have been hectic."

"You girls did all this in six short weeks?" He gave out a low whistle. "Color me impressed."

"Short?! It felt like it took a year off my life just to drag it in here," Scootaloo groaned.

"I'm sorry Scoots," John-boy's current regret was that he and the rest of the human force had been stuck outside the magic dome Trixie had created. "I would have helped," He said as he examined the tank. Already somepony had fixed the holes in the turret, replacing it with a side hatch for the gunner. "Golly but you girls work fast."

"Yep, and all we need in order to finish, is a new main gun," Sweetie said as she pointed a hoof at the 45mm canon, it had been removed and tossed to the side, the short barrel had been twisted and rendered useless.

"Humm… I think I know where we can one, but we have to be really sneaky, and quick on our hooves to pull it off," Johnnie murmured while rubbing his chin. "But it means breaking into the armory at the base."

"Hey, you girls know what this means," a mischievous smile spread across Scoots muzzle

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Cat Burglars, are GO!" The three fillies called out enthusiastically.

"Mark is going to kill me," the teen sighed to himself, thunking his head against the side of the turret and immediately regretting it.

---

"And you know the rest," Sweetie finished.

"Ok, so my next big question," Mark's steely gaze shifted to John-boy. "Is where in the hell did you find an extra 50cal Ma-Duece?"

To Mark's chagrin, the answer came not from the CMC, but from his own daughter.

"Here," she said as she handed him a bedazzled note binder, one of her privet journals. "Read entry 132, and only entry 132 that should help explain a few things."

Slowly he took the notebook and began to read.

After Mark finished reading, he slowly put down the journal and held out a hand.

"Keys to my office." He stated. While the CMCs tried protesting, he wouldn't hear it. "I do not care that you have a key to the armory, no matter how much of a bad idea this will be. The only thing that I care about is that key to my office. Hand it over or I will figure out something worthwhile to do to this tank that does not include outright destroying it. And just so you know, I can be so much harsher about this than I am being."Apple immediately attested to that.

Grumbling, Sweetie Belle slowly handed over a single key, which Mark promptly snapped in half.

"I'll send Xerox and a few other scientists down to make this an upscale version, but still only used by ponies. Hell, I'll even call it the Crusader tank, even if that's technically one from my past." He grinned and patted AB on the head, before twirling around and walking out of the clubhouse. Mark swore that they said something about him taking the tank away, but didn't comment.

Three days later the ex-T18 had been blueprinted down to the last screw and patented under the CMC’s names.

Next Chapter: Nightmare Night 2 Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 43 Minutes