"Alright, we all ready?" I asked the squad, most of who glared at me subtly. I kinda expected them to, since I woke them up at 3 in the morning. It'll give them time to get some sleep and time for us to go through the bunker and strip everything valuable from it. Some might think that we're hoarding the crap, but if I deem it harmless, I'm giving Chrysalis and Celestia copies of them. Mostly for their amusement and to go wild with.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Duffy grunted. I nodded and closed the back door, before going around and entering the cab, ready to get this show on the road. Apple flittered up next to me and took a seat on the dashboard.

'Ready!' She chirped, looking outside with a small amount of glee. Since I kinda needed the exercise, this would be the first time I've driven Sparky, so I was a little nervous.

"Here goes nothing..." I muttered, and turned on Sparky.

...God that sounds weird.

Luckily, the vehicle did not explode as soon as it started, so I eased the gas pedal to the floor and set off towards the Badlands.

Pretty much, the Mojave. God, this feels a lot like New Vegas and that just makes it awkward for me, since I played the shit outta the Fallout series.

'Fallout series?' Apple asked, placing the recorder on the dashboard in front of me.

"A series of games that depicted a post-apocalyptic world, much like what happened to us." I explained. "You take control of a character, in New Vegas s/he is a Courier. The main storyline is to travel the Mojave wasteland to kill the fucker who shot you in the face twice, and pick one out of four sides when you finally do. This is one of the types of brilliant games that let you pick how the story ends, instead of having a set ending like the CoD series, for example."

'What's CoD?' She asked, causing me to launch into a series of explanations.

"...And that's why I hope Cazadores don't exist." I finished. Apple stared out of the window for a moment.

'Daddy, those sound a lot like some of the creatures that live in the Badlands.' She relucantly told me.

I happen to think Moonbutt heard my head hitting the steering wheel all the way up on her throne.

"Guys, I hate to tell you this..." I said into the radio that connected to the back. Built the thing in myself. And only electrocuted myself three times.

"What is it?" Gallan asked.

"How many of you know of the Fallout series?" I asked.

"Huka, Duffy, and I do." Bill said. "Blake's heard of it, but never played."

"Cazadores inhabit the Badlands." I sighed.

"Godfuckingdammit." Bill groaned.

"How big are they?" I asked the changeling, who frowned, rubbing her chin with a swiss cheese hoof.

'About three of you wide, almost two of you tall. Six of you thick, if you all lay ontop of one another.' She said after looking at me for a moment.

"What type are we dealing with?" Bill asked. He probably heard my groan.

"Giant Cazadores from the DLC Honest Hearts." I answered, sighing. "I don't remember if there were any in Old World Blues."

"It would save a great deal of time if we had Pip-Boys." Bill muttered.

"That may be true, but don't you think having a weapon that can spew .50 BMG rounds like a bullet spewing erection is a little overkill?" I questioned. "Hell, we could utilitize the magics unicorns/alicorns have and make a magical atomic bomb."

'What're Pip-Boys?' Apple asked, and I explained the magics of the Pip-Boy 3000.

'...I can see why Bill wants one.' She said once I finished. 'And why you're relucant to get them, since we don't have DNA locks.' Jesus Christ she is smart for her age.

The next five hours went along without incident, and we soon drove through Appleloosa. Halfway through, I was stopped by what appeared to be the sherriff.

"There a problem, sir?" I asked after rolling the window down and sticking my head out.

"Jus' wonderin' where yer goin' with that contraption of yers." He said, while Apple hid. I knew a little bit about the ponies around here, and they were kinda racist towards changelings.

"Out somewhere in the Badlands on Princess Celestia's request." I answered, before looking upwards into the sky. It was a little after eight in the morning. "Do you have anywhere where we can get some food?"

"Right this way, sir!" The pony said, causing me to ease Sparky forward and follow behind him at a rate of 5 mph. A few townsfolk were awake and watching Sparky with curiosity, while I simply waved at him. "This here's the only cafe in town, but Ah'm sure it'll be good 'nuff for ya'll." He told me, causing me to get out after Apple slipped into my super pocket.

"Wake up!" I shouted, opening the back doors. Gallan cringed at the sudden sunlight, being the only one awake at the time. "Up or ya'll don't get breakfast!" That got them moving.

"Should we leave our weapons here, sir?" Schmidt asked, in the process of picking up his Kar98. I took a moment to respond.

"If it's a sub-machine gun, bring it. If ya didn't grab one, bring your pistol." I said, looking around. "I may trust the townsfolk but you never know when something bad happens."

"Paranoia kicking in?" Gallan asked as he jumped down, landing with a small grunt.

"Yea. Wonder why it's taken this long..." I muttered, flicking the trench knife which was in its sheath.

You see, a trench knife was a brilliant way to kill somebody. It was a knife, and that's where similarities ended with combat knifes. The trench knife's blade was triangular shaped, so when you stabbed somebody you left a wound that wouldn't heal easily and highly prone to infection. The blade was sharp, and strong enough, to punch through the helmets your enemy wore, as long as you had the strength to swing it that hard. It also had brass knuckles embedded into the hilt, so you could slug somebody in the face and drive the blade through their skull. The high effectiveness of the blade was it's downfall, as it was outlawed for warfare.

Luckily, as the highest ranked person left alive, I went around and took out some of the laws that we had for warfare. I kept the ones that I agreed with, so Gallan couldn't slaughter half of Ponyville and get away with it by saying that I told him to.

"What's for breakfast?" Huka asked as we took seats around a big table. My deadpanned stare (through a untinted helmet, mind you) caused him to chuckle and pick up a menu to browse through.

'By god I'm starting to get a little sick of apples.' I thought when I saw the food listed, but I was glad that apples weren't the only option.

"May Ah take yer order?" A waiter asked once she came up. All of them ordered some type of apple dish with a side of eggs, while I ordered an omelette. She nodded, took our menus, and left to go give the order to the cook.

"...You all do know that I ain't paying for all of you, right?" I told them, causing most of them to freeze up.

"Well, I'm glad I brought a small bag of bits." Schmidt said, field stripping his MP40 while waiting on his food.

"Sir, I'll do anything for the money." The ones who don't have bits said, looking at me pleadingly.

"Help out during applebuck season." I told them, sighing. They all nodded and we proceeded to wait a while before getting our food.

[Two hours later]

"Get the fuck off my windshield you asshat!" I yelled as a goddamn Cazadore tried impaling my face, the stinger three inches from me. "Apple, lemme have the MP40!"

'Yes daddy!' She said, passing it over as quickly as possible. With that stinger in the way, I didn't just grab my trench knife and get stabby happy, considering that the damn things were poisonous.

"I said get off!" I roared, letting a stream of 9mm bullets come out of the gun. An odd shrieking noise was heard before the bug slid off of the hood and was promptly run over.

Next Chapter: The Bunker Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 57 Minutes