"What the hell?" I muttered, watching as a wall of transparent dark pink came through the train, passing through everyone. When it passed through me, I felt the strangest sensation of my backpack being pulled back for a moment, before it was allowed through like I was.

'Felt like a fucking scanner. But for what?' I thought, rubbing my recently shaved chin.

"What in the hay was that all 'bout?" Applejack asked as the train slowed to a stop.

"My guess is security measures. Dawny said that they were threatened by someone. Surprised that they didn't just reschedule the bloody wedding..." I guessed, muttering the third sentence to myself. The train stopped and I was the first one off, placing my cover over my head. I glared at the Day Guards who were stationed at the stop, silently daring one of them to call me out.

"What's with all the guards?" Dash asked, sticking her head out next to my calf.

"Security, as I said. Royalty brings out strange folk." I answered. Pinkie Pie took that moment to sneeze and I swear to God that confetti flew from her nose. That shit was scary.

"Let's get going!" Rarity exclaimed, not even fazed by the simple act of holyfuck that Pinkie just demonstrated.

"And you got a big brother to congratulate!" AJ said, looking at Twilight.

"Yea... 'congratulate'..." She muttered, stalking off. Whatever she muttered made two guards look a little uneasy, causing me to sigh.

"I'll go after her... Dawn told me to meet up with Armor anyway." I said, jogging after Twilight. I managed to catch up with her while she was talking to a large Unicorn wearing a purple chest plate and that looked nothing like her, except for a lighter shade of mane highlight. And the telltale sign of magic was the same shade.

"And who's this?" He asked, looking over at me.

"Corporal Mark, Marine EOD. Assigned by Prince Dawn as boosted security." I said, giving him a quick salute.

"You know about the threat made against Canterlot?" Shining Armor asked, looking over my uniform.

"Yes, I do. Surprised that you didn't move the wedding date. That's what we would've done back on Earth." I commented, looking over the assload of guards around us. "If it wasn't for the magic users, I would pretty much reccomend that you do the same."

"What do you mean?" He asked as we walked up onto a walkway a few dozen feet above the ground.

"Humans can't use magic, so we improvised. We have weapons that could kill someone half the bloody world away." I said, drawing my M60 and changing it into a scoped Kar98k, looking at the Unicorns marching below us through the scope.

'Wonder why they have spears when they have fucking MAGIC.' I thought, sighing internally at the stupid.

"What does that do?" Shining asked cautiously.

"Sends a piece of metal flying at a very fast speed. Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot any of your Guards without a good reason." I explained, dumbing it down to past the bare basics.

"Er..."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." A feminine voice said, causing me to look to my right. Standing there was a pink Alicorn, but something felt off about her. I think she noticed my look, because she sent a very subtle glare before going over to the other two. I'm pretty sure my mind was fucking with me, but I think her eyes flashed green and blue for a split second.

"If you'll excuse me..." I said, walking off as Twilight started saying something. Armor looked at me funny but shrugged, and I entered the tower that was away from the Alicorn. As I stood on the stairs, my backpack shifted before it shook violently, and felt about 50 pounds lighter.

'What in the hell?' I thought, before whirling around as best as I could. Standing there was an exact bloody copy of me, sword and all.

"Changeling..." I growled, swinging the butt of my rifle at my copy's head, missing terribly as he grabbed the gun, ripped it out of my grip, and smashed it into my forehead, sending me down several steps.

"Hm... You're weaker than I thought." My copy said as I was struggling to my feet.

"It's been a while since I've fought hand-to-hand..." I coughed, wiping some blood from my lip.

"Give up and make it easier on yourself." He said, frowning down at me.

"Never!" I shouted, tackling him, smashing his back into the stairs and causing him to drop the rifle. He growled and slammed his fist, which felt more like a hoof, into my face, breaking my nose again.

'Oh you mother fucker...' I thought with a growl, but was kicked off him and sent rolling down a few steps. As I got to my feet, the last thing I felt was something very solid smash into my temple, before going unconscious instantly.

I woke up in really bad pain. And blind.

Whoever makes movies that show the main character get up like he didn't just get his ass handed to him needs to be shot. Jesus it hurt to move my head, but my nose was broken and I needed to fix it, and quickly.

'Sonofafuck I hope I don't have to do that again...' I grimly thought after fixing my nose and suppressing a scream this time. I knew that I was only trying to reassure myself, but I held onto the thought with an iron grip. Moving my hand around the ground, I noted that it was a little dusty and slightly glass-like. I also had my ceremonial sword in its sheath, but from what I could tell, my rifle was nowhere to be felt or found.

"Well that figures..." I muttered, and heard something shifting in the darkness. "Who's there?" I called out, slowly and painfully getting to my feet, a little drunkenly.

"I could ask you the same question..." A feminine voice replied.

"The REAL Princess Cadence?" I asked, shuffling towards her voice, not wanting to fuck my nose up again.

"Only if you can prove that you're not a Changeling." She replied.

"I just got the schisse kicked out of me. Even though I'm a Marine, I'm not afraid to admit it." I grunted, holding my aching side.

'Unless another human ends up here for some reason...' I added in my head.

"Anyway, do you have a way of lighting up our prison? Bloody difficult when I can't see dick." I asked.

"I can tell you're not a Changeling, due to you using words that Timeithian knows. I know a spell, but it's a little wearing for long periods of time." Cadence replied, before slowly lighting up the cave, allowing our eyes to adjust. Cadence's magic aura was a somewhat light blue, which calmed me a little.

"So, what can you tell me about yourself while we're trapped down here?" I asked, poking around the walls.

"I'm the Princess of Love. I used to be a foalsitter. I'm supposed to be getting married." She deadpanned at the last one.

"Who'd you babysit?" I asked, scraping at a suspicious dirt patch, getting crystal instead of a hole or something.

"A lot of Unicorns that live in Canterlot. From what Timeithian told me, you know one of them." She said.

"He prefers to be called Dawn." I said, pointing at her. "And how come you haven't tried to escape yet?"

"Magical interference and too weak at the moment even if I could." She admitted.

"Alrighty then. So, was the Unicorn I know Rarity?" I asked, glacing around again before drawing my sword and turning it into a sledgehammer.

"No, it wa-" She started, but was cut off as I smashed the 20 pound head into a wall, and let out a yelp of pain as I dropped the hammer, clutching my right arm. All I got for my efforts was a small chunk of crystal, the size of a golf ball.

"Note to self; don't try that again..." I panted, trying to feel my arm. All that I achieved was pain.

'Yup. It's fucking broken...' I thought furiously.

"Are you alright?!" She asked, wearily getting onto her hooves and coming to me as I clutched the broken part as gently as possible.

"You wouldn't happen to know any healing magic, would you?" I asked, trying to ward off the pain. She shook her head worriedly, causing me to sigh. "Fuckin' figures... Well, I'm not alright at the moment. Impact broke my bloody arm. And Christ knows how long we're going to be down here..." I answered, frowning. Cadence looked very worried, but also looked confused.

"Who's Christ?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. I sighed and gingerly sat down, not wanting to rupture an artery and end my life.

"To know who Christ is, you have to know what religion is. Do you?" I started, looking up at her.

"No..." She muttered.

"Don't worry 'bout it, I'll explain. Celestia and Luna move the sun and moon, correct?" At her confirmation, I continued. "What if, one day, they just suddenly disappeared without a trace? But the sun and moon continued moving? Would you believe that they were still doing it?"

"Of course." She said, probably thinking I was dumb.

"You have no proof that they are! That's pretty much what religion is. A long time ago, some humans saw something extrodinary but couldn't explain it, so they made up gods for it. Gods were doing the same thing that Celestia, Luna, you, and Dawn are known for doing. Nobody except a few claimed to have saw them in person, but they worshipped them anyway." I said what I could remember about Egyptian and Greek gods. "Over time, religion branched out from many gods to one God, and the people who worshipped the one God were called Jews. From the Jews branched out Christians, who followed the Son of God, Jesus Christ. I'm an Athiest, but I use Jesus' name from time to time without insulting His name. Don't know if there is really a God out there, but I honestly don't want to be on his bad side if there is." I explained.

"Hm..." She said, clearly delving deeply into her mind to think. I simply glared at the walls, wishing that I had my rifle at the moment.

'Oh crystal wall, you're soooo bloody lucky my magical beating stick can't turn into a M79 'China Lake'...' I thought with a vengeance, wishing them to explode. As if on some unknown command, they did, sending dust everywhere. When we finished coughing and the crystal dust faded, Twilight was standing there. Or a Changeling, but I wasn't taking my chances.

"If you're Twilight, you'll know why I didn't wear my cover on in the train." I said, unsheathing my sword with my good hand before she could react. If she wanted to, I wouldn't be able to keep a grip on the sword handle.

"You said it was because of some military tradition..." She said after a moment, eyeing the sharp object an inch from her face.

"Cadence is the real one. We both got knocked out and trapped here." I explained, before painfully straightening my arm.

"What happened?!" Twilight asked worriedly. I shot a glance at Cadence, who mouthed, 'not a soul.' Pleased, I looked back at Twilight.

"Stairs seem to hate me. Mind fixing it?" I half pleaded. Twilight nodded and shot a purple laser at my arm, making it tingly and give off a small stab of pain before it fixed itself. Flexing my fingers, I looked past Twilight and noticed a tunnel.

"I should probably cast an endurance spell on you, along with a speed spell..." Twilight muttered, before doing so. "There, now you can keep up with us!" She declared, before nodding at Cadence and running down the tunnel, me following. Due to Twilight doing her voodoo Unicorn magic upon my face, I was able to keep up with them easily. Then Cadence started singing.

"Why is she singing?" I quietly asked as Cadence stopped for a moment to rest, kneeling next to Twilight.

"I don't know." She replied just as quietly. As we went around the fucklarge caves, I only feared for my life once. We had to go down for some reason, using a mining cart. Well, I ended up flying at the end, and since I have neither wings or magic, I flew like a fucking rock. Twilight caught me though, causing me to sigh in relief.

"Figures..." I muttered as we stopped in front of a cave in.

'Has to be another way out...' I thought, the Hollywood Undead song coming to my mind for some reason. I shrugged inwardly as Cadence finished her song, and indeed saw another way out. Poking Twilight, I pointed up at the ledge that had the most beautiful thing I've seen today streaming out of it.

"There's sunlight up there. Think you can teleport the three of us?" I said. Twilight nodded, closed her eyes, and we appeared with a pop on another ledge, but this time there was a wide ass tunnel leading outside. My joy was interrupted quite suddenly, however.

"You're not going anywhere..." Three mares dressed up as flower girls omiously said, stalking closer to the three of us. I noticed that Lyra was one of them, along with Colgate.

'I don't know which one of the two scares me more; Colgate or Lyra. Lyra's just interested in humans, while Colgate gave me the scariest grin a pony could give when I had a quick checkup two days ago. And the fact that I woke up three hours later with my mouth strongly tasting of mint didn't help. I CAN STILL TASTE MINT!!!' I thought at the speed of light, wearily watching as they got closer.

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