“Hey, Applejack…” I muttered, gently shaking the orange Earth Pony awake.

“Mmph… Five mo’ minutes…” She groaned, rolling onto her back. I sighed and started rubbing her belly, having accidentally discovered that it was a ticklish spot to her yesterday. In less than a minute, she was writhing around the bed giggling quite loudly.

“You up yet?” I asked, noting that a Death Guard Pegasus was hovering outside, holding a backpack with my M60 and a police baton strapped to it, straining to stay airborne.

“Yea!” She managed to gasp out.

“Well, get up! I’ll be down in a second, so don’t wait for me.” I said, gently shoving her to get her going. She nodded, put on her hat, and walked out, while I opened the window.

“T…-pant-Thanks…” The Pegasus gasped, collapsing on the bed.

“Sorry about that, man.” I said, taking the backpack from him, noting that it weighed about 50 pounds. Probably ten bags of ammunition or so.

“It’s alright, I just had that in my hooves for a few hours…” He panted.

“Pretty sure you’re welcome to stay for breakfast, if you want.” I said, sliding the backpack on with a grunt.

“T-Thanks… But I’m pretty sure Prince Timeithian will be… mad if I do…” He panted some more, probably about to pass out.

“That wasn’t a suggestion.” I said, before picking him up with another grunt and walking downstairs as he weakly protested.

“Soup’s on!” Granny Smith called out from the kitchen.

“Hope you have enough for another mouth, Granny Smith! Got a kind Pegasus here for breakfast!” I called down, earning a mild glare from him.

“I… Guess…” He managed to say, accepting defeat.

“Good boy. Eat a lot, I’m pretty sure it’s not wise to fly on an empty stomach.” I said, letting him down. The others looked slightly confused at the Pegasus when they came in, but I simply told them that he visited me for something.

“Hey, what is all that stuff?” Applebloom asked me when she noticed my backpack for the first time.

“Stuff from my world. Asked Red Dawn to get it for me, so I could do a job later this week.” I replied after putting down my fork.

“What kind of job?” Applejack asked, looking over at me from across the table.

“Security for some wedding.” I replied, taking a bite of apple cobbler. (I was surprised the first morning when they put this on the table.)

“Oh, well, good luck at it!”

[After Breakfast]

Not even ten minutes after the Death Guard left, Rainbow Dash almost knocked me over to talk to AJ. They were talking about a picnic later today.

“Hey, Mark! You wanna come with us? Give ya a chance to meet my friends!” Dash asked me suddenly.

“Eh, why not? Not as if I’m doing anything today anyway…” I shrugged, following them as best as I could due to not being able to outrun a pony, even without an M60 strapped to by back and a baton slapping my leg. After about ten minutes of half running and half jogging, we ended up in a meadow where four other ponies were already sitting around, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, a butter yellow Pegasus, and a white Unicorn.

“Hey there!” Pinkie suddenly yelled, somehow erupting out of the ground and into my face, causing me to give off a scream of surprise.

“The hell?!” I yelled, having fallen backwards and onto the ground, Pinkie ending up on my chest. Pinkie giggled while I stared up at her in shock, not blinking.

'....' I think my mind just broke, for a second.

"Ah think ya broke him, Pinkie." Applejack said, looking at us with amusement.

"...Don't bloody do that. It's fucking weird." I stated once my mind started working again, eliciting a gasp from three of the mares.

"Such vulgar language!" The white Unicorn exclaimed, glaring at me a little.

"Well excuse me for wanting to keep some of my bloody English with me!" I retorted, gently (but firmly) shoving Pinkie off and sitting up, glaring right back. The butter Pegasus shrank a little at my glare, and made a noise similar to whimpering. I sighed and got the rest of the way up, cracking my neck.

'Smooth, Mark. Just bloody smooth.' I thought.

"Sorry for that, but I'm pretty sure you've noticed that I'm not from here. I want to keep some of my old life's words and customs, so I'm keeping my language." I apologized and explained, shrugging a little. "I can't help it if you all don't agree with it; but I'm sticking with it."

"Well...I guess we can deal with it..." Twilight stated after a moment, looking unsure.

"Many thanks. Now, why don't you all introduce yourselves and I'll do the same?" I asked, getting onto a different topic. "I know Applejack and a little of Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Pinkie, but I don't know you two." I added, pointing at the other Unicorn and Pegasus.

"Well, my name's Rarity, and I work at the Carousel Boutique as Ponyville's leading fashion designer!" The Unicorn introduced herself.

"Excellent; I'm in dire need of new clothing, so we can talk later about that." I said, before pointing at the butter yellow Pegasus. "And you are?"

"I-I'm..." She started very quietly, before mumbling something I couldn't hear.

"Lass, I'm afraid you're going to have to speak just a little louder; I don't understand mumble." I said, slowly walking over to her in a non-threatening manner.

"I-I'm Fluttershy..." She said at the same volume level, shrinking back a little. Smiling gently, I stopped and sat down on the edge of the checkered blanket.

"Nice to meet you, Fluttershy." I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. After a minute or so of staying still, Fluttershy looked back at me before timidly shaking my hand with her hoof.

"Well, who're you? AJ never told us much about you." Rainbow Dash asked, landing near me.

"My name's Mark. I'm a human, species Homo Sapien. Humans are naturally war-like, although some perfected it into an art. I was a soldier, but I never did much in the way of real fighting." I explained. "I mostly worked with explosives, usually to make them harmless, although I do know how to make gunpowder and the like." I added, waving my hand around.

"H-How did you end up here?" Fluttershy asked, probably curious.

"I died." I simply said, my face void of emotion. "Bloody shame, but I didn't have a lot connecting me to my life anyway; only my job kept me going everyday. Had to, if I messed up I was dead." I explained. Fluttershy looked sad, so I smiled
reassuringly. "From what I've experienced so far, this place is a lot better than where I lived before. Less people trying to kill me, for one."

"Well, how'd you die? You never told me!" Twilight suddenly said.

"I was going to destroy a IED, which stands for Improvised Explosive Device, when it was shot, exploding half a foot away from me. I'm pretty sure nothing survived it, anyway." I remembered, not really knowing if something of mine actually survived the blast or not.

"Now, let's get rid of this depressing topic and enjoy the picnic!" I said, pointing at a basket. The others seemed relieved and nodded, Pinkie opening up a basket, while I just started as several balloons that clearly could not fit in it float out, defying what sense of logic I have.

"Um, Mark? Are ya'll ok?" AJ asked, waving a hoof in front of my face. I snapped back into reality, shaking my head.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just got to get used to your world's logic and physics..." I said, muttering the last part to myself. As they got out sandwiches, I noticed that they were all filled with flowers and grass. Dash offered one to me, which I turned down.

"Not hungry?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Quite the opposite. I just can't eat grasses or flowers. They'll make me sick." I replied. "Just forgot to grab a bite to eat before running after you and Applejack." Dash nodded and chomped down on it.

"Well, what do you eat?" Fluttershy quietly asked, coming over to me, and would have startled me if I wasn't paying attention to everyone at once.

"Meat, dairy, some vegetables, some fruit, fish, grains, candy, soda, coffee, bacon, and nothing that can think or talk." I replied, ignoring the expected looks of shock at 'meat'. "Forgot to tell you; Humans are omnivores, and natural predators. Don't worry, I've never tried pony meat, and never plan on it. I'd sooner eat my foot than a pony." I added, shaking my left foot just in case they didn't know what one is. Bloody hooves, man...

"I understand..." Fluttershy muttered, looking up at me.

"You work with animals, don't you?" I asked, understanding instantly why she asked.

"Yes..." She whimpered, probably thinking I was going to eat a rabbit or something.

"Relax, lass. Just because I CAN eat meat doesn't mean that I HAVE to eat it. You have carnivores at your place?"

"Yes... They eat fish, though..." She replied.

"Well, then I guess all I will eat is fish, that you say is alright." I assured her.

'Though I may have to go hunting sometime and get a bloody steak...' I thought, keeping my face blank.

"Hey, Mark? I heard you mention some place called 'Hell' earlier. What's hell?" Rainbow Dash asked suddenly, causing me to internally facepalm.

"Do you have a place where really bad Ponies or smart beings go to?" I asked.

"Yea, it's called Tartarus. It's an island continent." She replied.

'...Their version of hell is Australia, pretty much... Oh the bloody irony.' I thought.

"Well, Hell is where humans go when they do evil." I replied. Dash nodded and continued eating as I gazed around the field.

"Hey, I forgot to tell my messenger this, but your weapons are magical." Dawn suddenly said in my mind, as the others talked to themselves. I internally winced but was curious.

'What do you mean, magical?' I thought asked.

"The baton will turn into any weapon that is used in hand-to-hand combat. Like a sword or a knife. The M60 will turn into any gun you want, as long as it's within a century from the original make." Dawn explained, causing me to grin. As a test, I unhooked the LMG and thought of a Kar98k, and to my surprise, it turned into one. "It will never run out of ammunition when in a different form, so use it to your advantage. It WILL overheat, though, if you use it too much, so do be careful." He added, causing my grin to get more evil.

"Um, what's with the scary grin, sugarcube?" AJ asked, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, it's nothing important. Dawn was telling me something about my equipment." I halfway explained, discreetly changing my gun to an M1911 and sliding it into a pocket.

"Prince Dawn can talk with you in your mind?" Twilight asked, clearly curious.

"Well, yea. He's pretty much the reason I'm here and not in Heaven. I like to think I'd go there, anyway..." I replied, dismissing their question about Heaven. When I noticed that they had cake, I took a slice and ate it.

As we were sitting around, them eating and I thinking, I suddenly heard panting and the sound of someone running towards us. Looking over to my left with my hand moving to my pocket, I saw a small green and purple lizard thing, and the first image that came to mind was that it was a minature Barney.

[Somewhere on Earth]

Several workers in an office were staring as one of their own suddenly had a stroke in the break room.

[Back to Equestria]

"Twilight!" The lizard yelled once he (was able to tell the gender by his voice) was close enough, causing her to drop an apple that she was about to eat. "I...Have... Give me a minute..." He panted, while I handed him a glass of water and sat back, watching him gulp it down.

"Who's that?" I quietly asked Applejack.

"Oh, he's Spike, Twilight's dragon assistant over at the library." She replied.

"...Baby?" I asked, knowing a bunch of dragon myths.

"Yep." She confirmed.

'Well, he hasn't lost any points yet, due to being a baby.' I thought, as he seemed to get his breath back. What shocked me was that he belched up a scroll, the paper landing in front of Twilight, who picked it up with her magic and read it.

"Dear Twilight, I am sure you are excited as I am of the upcoming wedding in Canterlot." She read.

"Wedding?" She asked, confused.

"Hm. Most likely the one I'm going to be security at." I said aloud, shrugging.

"I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help in the preparations." She continued, while I tuned her out for the most part. I grinned when she said both mine and Applejack's names, though.

'Woo! We're both going to the wedding.' I thought.

"...Between Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and... MY BROTHER?!" She ended, startling me with her exclamation.

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