Sour Sweet: There you go, Mr. Mousey. Now you stay off that leg and do everything I told you. And it will be just like new in no time at all.

Mouse family: [squeaks]

Sour Sweet: Oh, you're welcome. Happy to be able to help. These gems surely look shining.

[coloured crystal butterflies pop out and flutter around her]

Sour Sweet: Hello, crystal butterflies. All of you are shimmering like gems.

Feathers: [pants] [squeak]

Sour Sweet: You... found a watch? You... wanna be a watch? You're running! Running out of time? No. You're... late?

[clock strikes four]

Sour Sweet: [gasp] I'm late for a very important date! The big brunch for Princess Luna at Zesty Lemonade Corner. Oh, the princess is here in Ponyville for a party, and we all promised we'd be there. But I'm not there! Oh, do I look all right? Do I need to bring anything? Maybe I shouldn't go.

[trumpet fanfare]

Sour Sweet: Aah! It's starting! I'm missing it!

Feathers: [sigh]

Sour Sweet: Oh, thanks, Feathers. I mean, if you hadn't reminded me, I might have not remembered, and then I wouldn't be there, and everypony would be wondering where I was and... Oh, right. I'm late.

[door rattles]

Sour Sweet: Oh, okay then. See you later.

[theme song]

Indigo Zap: So... what do I have to do to get to be one of the Princess's royal guards, anyway? Is the pay good? Hellooo? Anybody home? [babbles] Wah-wah! [babbles] Ooh, you're good. [pause] Too good. I'm bored.

Sour Sweet: Phew. Made it. [gasp]

Guard 1: Halt!

Guard 2: Who goes there?

Sour Sweet: [gulp] No one. Never mind. I'll go home.

Sunset Shimmer: It's all right, sirs. She's on the list.

Sour Sweet: Thanks, Sunset.

Sunset Shimmer: I'm so glad you could make it, Sour Sweet. It wouldn't be the same without you.

[ding!]

Mr. Orange: How's everypony doing? Good? Good.

Mrs. Orange: Anything else we can get for you, dearies...? Ooh, I-I mean, esteemed guests.

Princess Luna: Ev'rything is fine, Mr. and Mrs. Orange.

Sour Sweet: Sorry I'm late. I had to finish taking care of a patient first.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh, you and your tender loving care of little animals. I just know Princess Luna is gonna love that about you. I mean, I hope she will... I mean, of course she will!

Sour Sweet: Wow, Sunset. I thought I was the only one who got nervous at social gatherings.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh, it's not that. I just want the princess to approve of my friends.

Sour Sweet: But she's met us all before.

Sunset Shimmer: And read about you in my letters. But this is the first time she's spent any real time with you. I want everypony to make a good impression.

Sour Sweet: Well, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides, it's just a casual get-together, right?

Sunny Flare: Don't touch me! Watch the dress! Careful, you're gonna spill that on me! Oh, oh, that looks delicious. What is it? Oh, does it stain?! Keep it away from me!

Sour Sweet: Or... perhaps not that casual.

Sugarcoat: Uh... which is the salad and which is the appetizer again? And which am I supposed to eat first? Oh, never mind. I'm not hungry.

Sour Sweet: It's okay, Sunset. So our friends' manners aren't perfect. I doubt the princess will even notice.

Lemon Zest: [giggles] Whoo-hoo! Cupcakes, candies, barrels of lemonades and pies, oh my! Oooh! Chocolate fountainy goodness! [munching] You gonna eat that?! [munching]

Mrs. Orange: [gasp]

Lemon Zest: Hey!

Mr. Orange: A thousand pardons, Your Majesty.

Princess Luna: That's quite all right, thank you. [sips]

Mrs. Orange: Empty teacup at 4 o'clock!

Mr. Orange: Uh, I see it, honey bun!

Princess Luna: Oh, um... thank you.

Mr. Orange: Not at all, Your Highness.

Princess Luna: [sips] Thank you again.

Mrs. Orange: Oh, but of course, Your Majesty.

Princess Luna: [sips] [sips] [sips] Gotcha!

Sunset Shimmer: Oh...

Princess Luna: And what about you, dear? Sour Sweet, is it?

Sour Sweet: Me? Oh yes, Your Highness.

Princess Luna: I understand from Sunset Shimmer's letters that you enjoy tending to the needs of woodland creatures.

Sour Sweet: Yes, I love to take care of animals.

Princess Luna: As do I. As Princess, I care deeply about all creatures, great and small.

[cough]

Princess Luna: Nothing means more to me than the well-being of all my subjects.

Ravenholm: [coughs and hacks]

Princess Luna: Ah, Ravenholm, my pet. You're awake. Do say hello to our gracious hosts.

Ravenholm: [coughs and hacks]

Sour Sweet: Oh... my.

Princess Luna: She is quite a sight, isn't she?

Sour Sweet: I... I... I've never seen anything like it.

Ravenholm: [cough]

Guard: [clears throat] [whisper]

Princess Luna: Really? Well, if I must... I'm sorry, everypony. I'm afraid I have to cut the party short. The mayor has requested an audience with me. Royal duty calls. Thank you for a wonderful time. It's been a joy getting to know you all better.

Sugarcoat: Yo-ho-ho! Now I can eat someth'n! I'm starved! All o' th' pirate's stomachs shall be always filled to the brim with these morsels! Oh...

Lemon Zest: [whooping and giggling]

Sour Sweet: Stay right where you are. All I want is a clear path to the exit. Nobody move and my dress won't get hurt! Stay back! Back, I say!

Sunset Shimmer: [sigh] Well, Garble, I don't know for sure how things went with the princess, but at least no big disasters happened.

Sour Sweet: Oh, you poor little thing. How did you ever get in such bad condition? Don't you worry, Ravenholm. I'll nurse you back to health. As a favor to the princess, who's obviously just far too busy to care for you properly.

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sour Sweet: I'm sure the princess will appreciate the help. Oh my. We'd better get you to bed right away. There. [gasp]

[thermometer glass shatters]

Sour Sweet: Oh, drats. This is far worse than I thought. What you need is some medicine. Stat!

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sour Sweet: Here you go, Ravenholm. This will fix you right up.

Ravenholm: [sniff]

Sour Sweet: Doctor Sweet expected that.

[jackhammer sounds]

Sour Sweet: Always works. [gasp] Uh... Almost always.

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sour Sweet: There's nothing like homemade soup to cure what ails you. Come on now. You're not gonna get better if you don't cooperate. Mmm... See? It's delicious. Good and good for you. Here comes the choo-choo train. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, whoo-whoo!

[splash]

Sour Sweet: Oh dear. Don't worry, Philomena. I know what'll make you feel better. Wait right here. I have just the thing.

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sour Sweet: Look, Ravenholm. I brought a fellow feathered friend by to cheer you up. Cockaway here was sick once too, but he let me help him and got better in no time. Didn't you, boy?

Cockaway: [humming "Mm-hmm!"]

Sour Sweet: Say hello to your new friend Ravenholm.

Cockaway: [humming happily]

Sour Sweet: Aw, look. I think he likes you. [vocalizes My Little Pony theme]

Cockaway: [hums My Little Pony theme]

Sour Sweet: Your turn now, Ravenholm. Go ahead. You can do it. [vocalizes My Little Pony theme] Oh! Um... good try?

Sour Sweet: I know what'll clear up that tickle in your throat. A humidifier. [deep breath] Refreshing. How's that feeling now for you, Ravenholm? Better?

Sour Sweet: [deep breath] [cough]

Sour Sweet: Oh... That's okay. I know lots of other ways to take care of you. Don't worry. You're gonna get better. How about...

Sour Sweet: Aromatherapy?

Ravenholm: [sneeze]

Sour Sweet: Warm bath?

Sour Sweet: Ointment?

Sour Sweet: Scalpel. Surgical tape. Feathers.

Ravenholm [cough]

Sour Sweet: Oh, poor old Ravenholm. I thought it would be easy to nurse you back to health. I've tried everything I know. And look at you. You're worse than ever.

[knock knock knock knock]

Sunset Shimmer: Hi, Sour Sweet I just wanted to drop by and say thank you so very much for making such a good impression on the princess today... [gasp] What is Luna's pet doing here?!

Sour Sweet: I couldn't leave the poor thing there. She needed my help.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh no. Nonononononono! This is bad.

Sour Sweet: How could I just walk away and not do anything?

Sunset Shimmer: But... but... she doesn't belong to you!

Sour Sweet: I had to do something.

Sunset Shimmer: Without telling anypony?! Without asking permission?!

Sour Sweet: But...

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sunset Shimmer: I know you had good intentions, but you have got to return the princess's pet!

Sour Sweet: But...

Philomena: [deep breath]

Sour Sweet: [sigh] You're right. Okay, let's...

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sour Sweet: ...go.

Sunset Shimmer: If we hurry, we can put her back before anypony even realizes she's missing. [gasp]

Guard 1: We were told we could find Sunset Shimmer here.

Guard 2: We regret to inform you, miss, that the royal pet has gone missing.

Sunset Shimmer: Really? You don't say! [nervous laughter]

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sunset Shimmer: [cough]

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sunset Shimmer: [cough]

Sunset Shimmer and Sour Sweet: [excessive coughing]

Sunset Shimmer: It's that dry night air?

Sour Sweet: But it's daytime.

Sunset Shimmer: Well... day air's even drier. You guards better be on your way if you're gonna find the princess's missing pet. Ravenholm, was it? Thank you ever so much for keeping me in the loop. Bye! [pants] Phew... What are you doing?!

Sour Sweet: Going to return Ravenholm, remember?

Sunset Shimmer: We can't now!

Sour Sweet: Why not?

Sunset Shimmer: You have no idea what the princess is gonna do if she finds you're the one who took her pet, do you?!

Sour Sweet: Do you?

Sunser Shimmer: Well... no. But it can't be anything good. She might banish you from Equestria. Or throw you in a dungeon. Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!

Sour Sweet: You really think the princess would do that?

Sunset Shimmer: Okay. Granted that probably won't happen, but do you wanna take any chances?

Sour Sweet: All that really matters to me is that poor little Philomena here gets well.

Ravenholm: [cough]

Sunset Shimmer: That's very noble of you. I'll write to you when you're banished. Unless I'm banished too somewhere there's no post office. Then you'll have to write to me. Deal?

Sour Sweet: Please, Sunset. You just have to help me get Ravenholm healthy and then we can return her to the princess. And everything will be fine.

Sunset Shimmer: Did you give her any kind of medicine?

Sour Sweet: I tried to, but she wouldn't take it.

Sunset Shimmer: [groan] Then you have to make her take it. You can't be such a pushover, Sour Sweet! You need to show this patient who's the boss. Make her straighten up and fly right!

Sour Sweet: She can't fly.

Sunset Shimmer: No excuses!

Sunset Shimmer: Done. Okay, what else?

Sour Sweet: Uh... well, she keeps pulling her feathers off. The ones that haven't fallen out yet from all her coughing, I mean.

Sunset Shimmer: There you go.

Ravenholm: [groaning]

Sour Sweet: I don't think she likes it.

Sunset Shimmer: Tough love, baby. You want her to get well, don't you?

Sour Sweet: Of course, but...

Sunset Shimmer: Next!

Sour Sweet: Well, she desperately needs some bed rest, but I can't get her to stay put.

Sunset Shimmer: One step ahead of you.

Sour Sweet: It's for your own good, Ravenholm, I promise. Please, just relax and try to get some sleep.

Sunset Shimmer: What's this soup over here? Smells delicious.

Sour Sweet: I made it for Ravenholm. But she wouldn't eat it.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh, she'll eat it, all right.

Ravenholm: [screams]

Sunset Shimmer: Hey! Where are you going?

Sour Sweet: No! Ravenholm! Come back!

[Benny Hill-esque music]

Indigo Zap: What are you two doing? Are you having a race? Oh, can I play? One, two, three, go!

Lemon Zest: [munching]

Sour Sweet: Gangway!

Lemon Zest: Hi!

Sunset Shimmer: Beg your pardon!

Sunny Flare: Put me down!

Sugarcoat: What the barnacles is goin' on?!

Sour Sweet: Sorry, but we've gotta find...

Guard: The princess's pet bird!

Raven: [cough]

Sour Sweet: Ravenholm, come down from there! You'll hurt yourself!

Ravenholm: [cough, exaggerated death rattle] [repeats]

Sour Sweet: I'll catch you!

Lemon Zest: [gasp]

[Ravenholm bursts into flames]

Sour Sweet: [gasp]

All except Sour Sweet: [huge gasp]

Sour Sweer: [cries and whimpers]

Princess Luna: What is going on here? Sunset?

Sunset Shimmer: Yes, your Majesty, there's been a terrible accident.

Sour Sweet: It's all my fault.

Sunset Shimmer: No, Princess. Sour Sweet didn't know any better. It was my fault.

Sour Sweet: I'm the one who did it.

Sunset Shimmer: But you were only trying to help.

Sour Sweet: Some help I was.

Sunset Shimmer: Will ya let me do this? She'll go easier on me.

Sour Sweet: But it's my fault!

Sunset Shimmer: No, it's my fault!

Lemon Zest: No, it's my fault! Wait, what are we talking about?

Sour Sweet: Thanks for trying to protect me, Sunset, but... Princess Luna, I'm the one who took your pet bird. I really was only trying to help the poor little thing. Then I was gonna bring it right back to you, honest. So, if you wanna banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to, then that's what I deserve.

Sugarcoat: [gasps] Never be keelhaulin' yerself, Sour Sweet!

Princess Luna: Oh, stop fooling around, Raven. You're scaring everypony.

[ponies gasp and awe]

Sour Sweet: I don't understand! What is that thing? What happened to Ravenholm?

Princess Luna: This is Ravenholm. She's quite a sight, as I said. But nothing unusual for a hybrid of raven and a phoenix. Isn't that right, Raven?

Ravenholm: [squawks]

Sour Sweet: A... A raven and a phoenix?

Princess Luna: Ravenholm is a breed of half-raven and half-phoenix. A phoenix is a majestic and magical bird. While it appears healthy and happy most of the time, every so often it must renew itself by shedding all of its feathers and bursting into flame. [silently] Rather melodramatic, if you ask me. [loud again] It then rises from the ashes, fresh as a daisy. All just a normal part of the life cycle of a phoenix. I'm afraid mischievous little Ravenholm here took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Sour Sweet. Say you're sorry, young lady.

[Ravenholm makes an "I'm sorry" sound]

Sour Sweet: So... aren't you gonna banish me? Or throw me in a dungeon? Or banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to?

Princess Luna: Of course not, my little pony. Where on Earth would you get such an idea?

Sour Sweet: I guess I have some imagination.

Sunset Shimmer: Sour Sweet really did do everything she could to try to take care of Ravenholm for you.

Princess Luna: And I do appreciate that your heart was in the right place, child. But all you had to do was ask me and I could have told you Ravenholm was a phoenix and saved you all this trouble.

Sunny Flare: I know. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Next time I'll ask before taking matters into my own hooves.

Sunset Shimmer: Should I write you a letter about that lesson, Princess?

Princess Luna: No, that's quite all right. I think I can remember.

Sour Sweet: It's beautiful. Thank you, Madame Ravenholm. No hard feelings.

Indigo Zap: Hmm... [indistinct whispers] Hey, you know what you should do? You should go over there and tickle them!

[royal guards laugh]

Indigo Zap: Yeah! [laughs]

[everypony laughs]

[music]

[credits]