Silver Spoon: Where are you takin' us?

Sugarcoat: We're almost there, young'uns.

Diamond Dazzle: I've never been here before.

Mango Dash: Ouch!

Silver Spoon: Oh. Sorry.

Mango Dash: Are we there yet?

Diamond Dazzle: There? Where? What? I don't even know what we're doing.

Sugarcoat: Here we are.

Silver Spoon: What are we lookin' at?

Mango Dash: I have no idea.

Diamond Dazzle: What is that thing?

Sugarcoat: Cutie Mark Crusaders, welcome to your new clubhouse. [silence] Well, don't thank me all at once. This was my clubhouse when I was your age. Arrgh! This was where Grandpa Cherry Strudel used to tell stories about our great-grandparents. My grandpa liked to have some stories of Equestria's legendary Jack Tar: Sugar Jones, my great-grandfather.

Mango Dash: Really, Sugarcoat? He was a brave pony, then! I would want to be with him. Cutie Mark Pirates, here we go!

Sugarcoat: Yes, Mango. My great-grandpa's collection of his treasures are hidden under the cherry cellar. Also, being a pirate is a hard and dangerous task. [sighs] Forget about what I said.

Mango Dash: Then, can we use it now?

Sugarcoat: Sure, this clubhouse hasn't been used in a while, but it's empty and on a secluded, private part of the farm. And it's all yours. It just needs a little, uh... TLC.

Mango Dash: TLC as in Tender Loving Care or Totally Lost Cause?

Silver Spoon: Sugarcoat! We're supposed to turn this into our new clubhouse?

Sugarcoat: Well, maybe y'all will get your cutie marks when you discover your talent for... Waaah! [crash] Uh... house cleanin'?

Diamond Dazzle: Maybe a brave pirate or a space cowboy inside the clubhouse! Arrgh!

Mango Dash: [laser gun sound effect] Cowboys will defeat the aliens arriving from Equestria!

Silver Spoon: Yo-ho-ho! Here we go! Let the seas run like rivers of rum!

Sugarcoat: No, CMC. Those tasks will never work. Aliens never exist, Mango. Besides, there are simpler but crucial tasks for anypony of you to find your potental.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]

[theme song]

[birds chirping]

[all gasp]

Granny Cinch: Soup's on!

Mango Dash: Gangway, folks!

Silver Spoon: Whoa! Hi, Mango Dash! Back already? You're amazin' on that scooter.

Mango Dash: Thanks! I like to fly too, but I might cause some mischief. [gazes at the clubhouse] Wow, Silver Spoon. You did all of this?

Silver Spoon: Yep! I've fixed the broken shutters, sanded off the splinters, rebuilt the roof, painted...

Mango Dash: That's so cool. What's Diamond Dazzle up to?

[Diamond Dazzle]

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders... [humming]

...Never stop the journey... [humming]

Silver Spoon: There you are, Diamond Dazzle! See? I told you we could find her by following her totally awesome voice.

Mango Dash: What's that sweet tune you're singing?

Sweetie Belle: Oh. I was just working on our new Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song.

Silver Spoon and Mango Dash: Cool!

Mango Dash: Teach us?

Diamond Dazzle: Well, I've only come up with one part... but okay!

[Diamond Dazzle]

They all say that you will get your mark

When the time is really right

[Silver Spoon]

And you know just what you're supposed to do

[Mango Dash]

[loud and off-key] And your talent comes to light!

Sugarcoat: Well, uh... I'll be, Cutie Mark Crusaders. You've done one fine job with this place. So, what's next?

Silver Spoon: Well, now that we have a real life clubhouse...

Mango Dash: ...and a map of Ponyville...

Diamond Dazzle: ...and a Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song...

Sugarcoat: Theme song?

Silver Spoon: We're gonna go out in the world and discover our talents.

Mango Dash: A new adventure!

Diamond Dazzle: And earn our cutie marks.

Silver Spoon: We'll leave no stone unturned!

Mango Dash: No mountain unclimbed!

Diamond Dazzle: No meal uncooked!

Silver Spoon: No sock unworn!

Sugarcoat: Well okay then! Sounds like you have a plan. I gotta, uh... Leave no cherry unpicked! See y'all later!

Mango Dash: Are we ready to get our cutie marks, ponies?

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ready!

[bell rings]

[pigs squealing]

Diamond Dazzle: [sniff]

[machine whirring]

[bell rings]

"Ruby": [crying]

[ding!]

[ding!]

[ding!]

[wind whistling]

[bubble sounds]

[frantic bubble sounds]

[octopus growling]

Garble: I had nothing to do with this.

Sunset Shimmer: What is going on here?

Silver Spoon: Hmm... Well, we sure aren't gettin' our cutie marks for bein' librarians.

Garble: Huh. I should think not. What?

Sunset Shimmer: Girls, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to do things in areas you're not familiar with, why not try doing things in areas that you already like?

Cheerilee: And I have the perfect place to start.

Silver Spoon: "Showcase your talents...

Mango Dash: "...for all to see."

Diamond Dazzle: "Perform in the Ponyville school talent show!"

Cheerilee: There'll be all sorts of awards. Best dramatic performance, best comedy act, best magic act... Surely you can find your talent.

Silver Spoon: This would be the perfect place to discover our talents. Jugglin'!

Mango Dash: Acting!

Diamond Dazzle: Magic tricks!

Silver Spoon: Square dancin'!

Mango Dash: Tightrope walking!

Diamond Dazzle: Tiger taming!

Mango Dash: Alien hunting!

Silver Spoon: Space shootin'!

Diamond Dazzle: Policing the space! The galaxies need the bravest police force!

Sunset Shimmer: My little ponies! You're missing the point. Think about the things you already enjoy doing. Not alien hunting, space shooting, or policing the galaxies. You three have greater bounds of imagination, but those are non-existent plus impossible tasks and they would not be really easy ones for three of you. Think about what you're already good at.

Mango Dash: Sure! We can do that.

Diamond Dazzle: Yeah! Sure we can.

Silver Spoon: Well, whatever we do, we'll do it as...

Cutie Mark Crusaders: ...The Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Sunny Flare: Diamond Dazzle! I told you not to touch my things. Come back with my supplies!

Diamond Dazzle: Promise, sis! We will bring these back in no time.

Diamond Dazzle: [outside] Hello, Ms. Kerfuffle! Can we have one of your fans for today?

Kerfuffle: Why would you need my fans? These expensive treasures are part of the display cabinet in the pub, Diamond. So, no way in hay bales I would do it for you.

Diamond Dazzle: You are a good friend, Ms. Kerfuffle. We're just borrowing them for the talent show. Don't worry. I promise we'll bring them back.

Kerfuffle: [sighs] Here you go. Now, stop pretending that I'm your friend and leave. Lo and behold, I'm busy for the preparations today. One, get lost. Two, scram!

Mango Dash: [nervously chuckles] Thanks, Ms. Kerfuffle. We'll return the fan to you real soon.

Kerfuffle: Make sure you bring that fan back! All of you will be scrubbin' and cleanin' the pub if you don't. [wiping her glasses] Those darn customers of mine would be makin' a mess like they would turn the pub into a darn pig stock.

Silver Spoon: What do we need this fan for?

Diamond Dazzle: Trust me on this one.

Mango Dash: Okay, so that's six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes. Anything else?

Diamond Dazzle: Yeah. Instructions on how to use six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes.

Sunset Shimmer: "Ghosts, Goblins and Ghoulish Figures"? Good heavens, girls. What do you need a book like this for?

Mango Dash: You'll see. Thanks, Twilight. We'll give it back as soon as we're done with it.

Sunset Shimmer: What do you think they're up to?

Garble: I have no idea and I don't know if I should be excited or scared to find out.

Silver Spoon: I'm glad we're doin' this as a team.

Diamond Dazzle: Me too. Um... so what are we doing again?

Mango Dash: A super awesome dramatic song for the talent show, of course.

Diamond Dazzle: Right! With super-cool scenery. And amazing costumes!

Silver Spoon: And mind-blowin' dance moves.

Mango Dash: This is gonna be soo amazing!

Silver Spoon: Diamond Dazzle, I think you should be a singer.

Diamond Dazzle: What? No way I'm singing in front of a crowd. Twilight said to do something we like to do, and I'd like to be like my big sister, and she's a designer.

Mango Dash: Fine then. You can do the costumes and the scenery.

Silver Spoon: And Mango Dash, you're great in maneuvers on your scooter. So you should do the choreography. Y'know, all those dance moves.

Mango Dash: Nah. I'd rather sing a wicked rock ballad. Why don't you come up with the dance routine, Silver Spoon?

Silver Spoon: Hm... I'm not much of a dancer... but I do like Kung-fu. That's kinda like dancin'. Hi-ya! Hah! Hah! Yah!

Diamond Dazzle: Then it's settled! Let's get started.

Silver Spoon: One... two... three... Oh! Oh!

Mango Dash: Ow, Silver Spoon! What are you doing?

Silver Spoon: Oh, I feel like I have four left feet. I can't even spin right.

Mango Dash: Don't be silly. You just gotta keep your head forward until the very last minute, like this. See? Easy-peasy. You just gotta practice a bunch, that's all.

Silver Spoon: Wow! That does look easy. Thanks. Okay. Let's try this again. Oh! Ouch! Ow. I'm okay!

Mango Dash: Keep practicing!

Silver Spoon: Will do.

[discordant piano notes]

Mango Dash: We fight the fight, walk the walk. Talk the talk, eat the... uh... food like a celery stalk? Ugh! I'll never come up with anything! Never, never, never!

Diamond Dazzle: Come back! Come back! Uh. Dumb fabric. Hey, Scoot! How's the song going?

Mango Dash: Pbbbt.

Diamond Dazzle: Pbbbt? Oh my! Sounds serious.

Mango Dash: I'm just no good at lyrics. Coming up with words is, like... [pause] really hard.

Diamond Dazzle: Oh, it can't be that bad. "With our cutie marks we'll rock Equestria. We use our stomachs to... digestia"? Umm... Well... These are... um... good, but... How about after "we fight the fight"...

There is nothing that we fear

We'll have to figure out what we'll do next

'Til our cutie marks are here

Mango Dash: Wow! That's so awesome! Did you just come up with that now?

Diamond Dazzle: Yeah... kind of.

Mango Dash: Thanks, I'm totally using that.

Diamond Dazzle: Oh no!

Diamond Dazzle: One, two, three, four, five? [moan] [sigh]

Silver Spoon: Ouch!

Diamond Dazzle: How's the spin coming along?

Silver Spoon: I think I gotta just stick to punches and kicks. You know, ponies only have four legs.

Diamond Dazzle: [moan] I'll never be a designer like my sister Sunny.

Silver Spoon: Hey, it's no big deal. Why don't you use the dress form? It'll help you with your patterns and help you put all the pieces in the right places.

Diamond Dazzle: Oh, is that what that's for?

Silver Spoon: Uh... maybe you should also clean your paintbrush between each color.

Diamond Dazzle: Oh, I was wondering why all the colors looked like mud.

Silver Spoon: You're not using power tools, are you?

Sugarcoat: The talent show is just around the corner. I wonder how the fillies are doin'.

Silver Spoon: Oh! Sorry, Mango Dash.

Mango Dash: That's okay. Ugh!

Diamond Dazzle: Oops! Sorry, Mango Dash. Ouch!

Mango Dash: Oh, my bad, Diamond Dazzle. Let's sing the chorus again!

Sugarcoat: Well, gosh. Sure wasn't expectin' that.

Silver Spoon: I think that sounded pretty good.

Diamond Dazzle: Me too. You think we're ready?

Mango Dash: Ready as we'll ever be. Hey! Did you see us practicing?

Sugarcoat: Uh... Yeah.

Silver Spoon: Well? How'd we do? How'd we do?

Sugarcoat: Uh...

Scootaloo: Speechless! See, girls? I told you that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna leave them speechless.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yay!

Sugarcoat: "Speechless" is right.

Snips: ...And on the count of three, this rabbit will disappear, and something tasty will reappear in its place. A one, a two, and a three! Hey! Where are they? Snails, where are the... carrots. SNAILS!

Cheerilee: Uh, how about a round of applause for the SS magic act? Now for our next act, we have Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie reciting their favorite poem... on roller skates!

Diamond Dazzle: Break a leg!

Silver Spoon: Diamond Dazzle! What a thing to say!

Diamond Dazzle: No, no, no. You see, in the theater it's considered bad luck to say "good luck". So you say "break a leg" instead.

Sunset Shimmer: My little ponies! How are you doing?

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Nervous...

Sunset Shimmer: Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, just stick to what you know best. I can't wait to hear you sing, Diamond Dazzle.

Diamond Dazzle: Why does everypony always think I'm gonna sing?

Mango Dash: Actually, Sunset Shimmer, I'm the main singer tonight.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh?

Silver Spoon: And I'm the main dancer. Hi-ya!

Sunset Shimmer: Oh?

Diamond Dazzle: And I'm in charge of...

Sunset Shimmer: Costumes?

Diamond Dazzle: And sets and props. How'd you know?

Sunset Shimmer: Really, girls? Are you sure...?

Cheerilee: Cutie Mark Crusaders, you're on next. Break a leg.

Sunset Shimmer: Break a le—

Silver Spoon: Ugh!

Sunset Shimmer: Uh... good luck!

[Mango Dash]

Look, here, are three little ponies,

Ready to sing for this crowd,

Listen up, 'cause here's our story

I'm gonna sing it

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

Very loud!

[Mango Dash]

When you're a younger pony

And your flank is very bare

Feels like the sun will never come

When your cutie mark's not there

So the three of us will fight the fight

There is nothing that we fear

We'll have to figure out what we'll do next

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

'Til our cutie marks are here!

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks

[Mango Dash]

They all say that you'll get your mark

When the time is really right

And you know just what you're supposed to do

And your talent comes to light

But it's not as easy as it sounds

And that waiting's hard to do

So we test our talents everywhere

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

Until our face is blue

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks!

[crash]

[laughter]

Mango Dash: Wow. That did not go as well as I expected.

Silver Spoon: Aw, bilge rats! I can't believe they're laughin' at us.

Diamond Dazzle: Was it that bad?

Cheerilee: Back on stage, girls. It's time for the awards.

Diamond Dazzle: Back on stage? No.

Silver Spoon: They'll just laugh some more.

Mango Dash: Yeah, what's the point?

Cheerilee: Now girls, let's be good sports. You made a great effort. You should be proud. Now come on!

Cheerilee: Let's hear it for all our talented fillies and colts.

[hooves stomping]

Cheerilee: Our first award goes to... Snips and Snails for best magic act.

Snips: Hey! Mine's at least shinier.

Snails: Well, mine's bigger.

Snips: Oh yeah, well... Well, mine is, um... heavier?

Cheerilee: The next award goes to... Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie for best dramatic performance.

Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie: [gasp]

Cheerilee: And finally, the last award of the night goes to... the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Cutie Mark Crusaders: What?

Cheerilee: For best comedy act.

[ponies cheering]

Silver Spoon: Can you believe it? We won!

Mango Dash: I knew our act was awesome.

Diamond Dazzle: You know what would be the best? If we won and we got our cutie marks.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [moan]

Sunset Shimmer: Congratulations, ponies! Job well done.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sadly] Thanks, Sunset.

Sunset Shimmer: Hey, you don't sound too excited.

Mango Dash: [sigh] We worked really hard and won a prize, but we still don't have our cutie marks.

Diamond Dazzle: Which is the prize we really wanted.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh, girls...

Silver Spoon: But we think we know why.

Diamond Dazzle: Yes. We know why.

Sunset Shimmer: Oh? Tell me. I'd love to make a special report to the Princess.

Diamond Dazzle: Well, maybe we were trying too hard.

Sunset Shimmer: Yes? And?

Mango Dash: And instead of forcing ourselves to do something that's not meant for us...

Sunset Shimmer: Yes? Yes?

Silver Spoon: We each should be embracing our true talent!

Sunset Shimmer: And that is...?

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Comedy!

Sugarcoat: Silver Spoon! You did it!

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Did you see our award? Weren't we funny?

Sunset Shimmer: One day... [giggle] One day...

[music]

[credits]