Indigo Zap: [grunt] Whoo-hoo!

Sugarcoat: Hoo-wee! Not a bad pitch for a pony who works with her head in the clouds.

Indigo Zap: Oh yeah? Think you can do better, pretending-to-be-pirate and cherrypicker pony?

Sugarcoat: Aye, matey! [grunt] Oh, for Pete's sake!

Indigo Zap: Heh! Looks like this Pegasus can pitch better than the workhorse. The object of the game is to get the closest to the stake.

Sugarcoat: All right, all right. Fair winds, lassock. You got another throw there.

Indigo Zap: [grunt]

Sugarcoat: [sarcastically] Wow, Indigo, heh. You couldn't hit a barn door with that kind of a throw!

Indigo Zap: Yeah, yeah. I still have the closest throw, Saltycoat. Just try and beat it.

Sugarcoat: [grunt] Yo-ho-ho! It's a ringer. That's how you do it down here on the farm.

Indigo Zap: I lost.

Sugarcoat: Ah, don't feel bad, Indigo. It's all in good fun.

Indigo Zap: I hate losing.

Sugarcoat: Besides, you're a mighty good athlete. I'm just better. Heh heh heh.

Indigo Zap: All right, Sugarcoat, you think you're the top athlete in all of Ponyville?

Sugarcoat: Well, I was gonna say in all of Equestria, but that might be gildin' the lily.

Indigo Zap: ...and I think I'm the top athlete. So let's prove it.

Sugarcoat: Prove what, bilge rat? Guess what? Ye can't win against ye olde Sugarcoat.

Indigo Zap: Surely, mate. Now, I challenge you to an Iron Pony competition. A series of athletic contests to decide who's the best, once and for all.

Sugarcoat: You know what, Indigo? You're on.

[theme song]

Indigo Zap: [grunt]

Sunset Shimmer: So you two are doing what, now?

Sugarcoat: An Iron—

Indigo Zap: Iron Pony competition.

Sugarcoat: See, we've set up a bunch of events to decide which one of us is—

Indigo Zap: The most athletic pony ever! [grunt]

Sunset Shimmer: And I'm here to...?

Indigo Zap: [grunt] I don't know. Why is she here?

Sugarcoat: To be our judge and keep score.

Indigo Zap: Right, heh. Somepony's gotta record my awesomeness for the history books. [grunt]

Garble: Hello everypony, and welcome to the first annual Iron Pony competition!

Sunset Shimmer: Uh, Spike, who are you talking to?

Garble: Um... Uh, them! Let the games begin!

[ponies cheer]

Sunset Shimmer: Ready. Set. Go!

Sugarcoat: [gasp]

Sunset Shimmer: Time, Garble?

Garble: 17 seconds.

Sugarcoat: You're kiddin'! That breaks my record from last year's rodeo.

Garble: But you got a five second penalty for nudging the barrel.

Sugarcoat: [sigh] Load of barnacles! Still, that's 22 seconds. Not too shabby. Hey, don't be nervous. Remember, it's all in good fun. Now git on up there.

Sunset Shimmer: Ready. Set. Go!

Sugarcoat: Woo! That was some fancy hoofwork there, Indigo!

Indigo Zap: Thanks, but I [pant] couldn't have been as fast as you.

Sunset Shimmer: What was the time on that, Garble?

Garble: 18 seconds!

Sugarcoat: 18 seconds. Indigo, are you sure you're not secretly a rodeo pony?

Sunset Shimmer: Indigo Zap wins the barrel lead!

Indigo Zap: Oh, I can't believe I won.

Sugarcoat: Yeah, well, don't you go gettin' used to it.

[bell rings]

[ponies cheer]

Sugarcoat: Mighty respectable, [spit] but let me show ya how it's really done. [grunt] [bell rings]

[ponies cheer]

Sugarcoat: Years of cherrypickin'.

["Shave and a haircut"...]

[bell rings]

[..."Two bits"]

Indigo Zap: Ugh.

Granny Cinch: Waa-hoo!

Silver Spoon: Whoo-hoo!

Pokey Pierce: Aye, maties!

Garble: Why me?

Sunset Shimmer: Go!

Garble: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-hoa! Whoa! Whoaaa! Ouch.

Indigo Zap: Ready for another pony ride?

Garble: No.

Sunset Shimmer: Go!

Garble: Guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guhwhoaaaaaa!

Sunset Shimmer: Indigo Zap wins the bronco-buck.

[bell rings]

Garble: And I lose.

[ponies cheer]

Garble: Whoa! [grunt] How do I get roped into these things?

Indigo Zap: [grunt] Does this count?

[bell rings]

Sugarcoat: [grunt]

[ponies cheer]

[bell rings]

Indigo Zap: Yuh! [blows raspberry]

[ponies cheer]

[bell rings]

Sugarcoat: [grunt] Wah!

[bell rings]

Indigo Zap: Yeah.

[ponies gasp]

Sour Sweet: [gasp]

[bell rings]

Garble: Fillies and gentlecolts, at the halfway point, our competitors are tied at five and five.

Sunset Shimmer: Who are you talking to?

Garble: Them!

[crowd chatters]

Sunset Shimmer: 95, 96, 97, 98, 99... a hundred!

Indigo Zap: Yes!

[bell rings]

Sugarcoat: Be a good sport, Sugarcoat.

Sugarcoat: [grunt]

Indigo Zap: [grunt]

[bell rings]

[hens clucking]

[chicks chirping]

Indigo Zap: [gasp]

Sunset Shimmer: All right, you two. This is the final event. Give it all you've got.

Garble: Looks like the workhorse might come out ahead in this one.

Sugarcoat: [mumbling] That's not fair. You can't use your wings to help you win.

Indigo Zap: Huh?

Sugarcoat: [mumbling] You're cheatin'!

Indigo Zap: I can't understand you with that rope in your mouth.

Sugarcoat: [spits] I said... uh-oh. [grunt]

[crowd cheers]

[bell rings]

Indigo Zap: Whoo-hoo! I win by a landslide... or mudslide in your case. [chuckles] I am the Iron Pony!

Sugarcoat: Avast ye, Indigo Zap. Ne'er play such trickery on me. Cold. Hard. Fact. Ye cheated.

Indigo Zap: What?! Are you telling me I cheated?

Sugarcoat: You used your wingpower to help you win over half those contests.

Indigo Zap: Sounds like sour and rotten cherries to me.

Sugarcoat: Are you sayin' you didn't use your wings?

Indigo Zap: Well... no. But you never said I couldn't use my wings.

Sugarcoat: I didn't think I needed to tell you to play fair. Yer a grown pegasus, matey, not a foal.

Indigo Zap: I still would have won even without my wings.

Sugarcoat: Hah! Prove it.

Indigo Zap: Gladly. How?

Sugarcoat: Tomorrow is the annual Runnin' of the Leaves. I challenge you to race me in it.

Indigo Zap: Heh! Easy shmeasy.

Sugarcoat: Avast! There is one condition: the point is to run, so no wings allowed.

Indigo Zap: No wings? No problem.

Sugarcoat: [spit]

Indigo Zap: [spit]

Indigo Zap: [blows raspberry]

Sugarcoat: [chuckle]

Garble: Sunset, hurry up, we're gonna be late for the race.

Sunset Shimmer: Why are you so excited about the race? It's only for ponies.

Garble: Yeah, but I'm hoping I can be the announcer again. Just listen: Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the annual Running of the-

Lemon Zest: Welcome to the annual Running of the Leaves! This is Lemon Zest, your official p-eye-in-the-sky announcer.

Sunset Shimmer: Sorry, Garble. I guess that job's already taken.

Lemon Zest: As everypony knows, the Running is a very important tradition, for without it, the autumn leaves of Equestria would never fall. So get ready, ponies. The Running of the Leaves will begin in five minutes.

Sugarcoat: [grunts]

Indigo Zap: Pardon me, excuse me. Make way for the Iron Pony.

Sugarcoat: The Iron Phony, you mean. Ye better be scrubbin' the floors of mah great-grandpa's ship, matey.

Indigo Zap: So, Sugarcoat, you ready to win second place?

Sugarcoat: I'm ready to run a good, clean race.

Indigo Zap: Yeah, yeah...

Sugarcoat: You are not allowed to use your wings.

Indigo Zap: I could win this race with both wings tied behind my back.

Sugarcoat: [grunts] Trussed up like a turkey. Well, a turkey who can't fly, that is.

Indigo Zap: Very funny.

Sugarcoat: 'Least now we know we're racin' fair and square.

[trumpets]

Lemom Zest: Racers! Please take your positions!

Garble: Um... Lemon Zest?

Lemon Zest: Hey, Garble! What's up? Oh wait, it's me! I'm up! [laughs]

Garble: Uh, yeah. I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff and... I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all, but... I was just wondering...

Lemon Zest: What?

Garble: Aw... Forget it.

Lemon Zest: Garble! Would you like to be my co-reporter? We could comment on the action together.

Garble: We could?

Lemon Zest: Climb on up.

Sugarcoat: Sunset? What in tarnation are you doin' up here?

Sunset Shimmer: I'm racing.

Indigo Zap: [laughs] Good one, Sunset.

Sunset Shimmer: I'm not joking.

Indigo Zap: What? You're not an athlete, you're a... well... you're an egghead.

Sunser Shimmer: I am not an egghead, I am well-read.

Indigo Zap: [softly] Egghead.

Sugarcoat: [snickers] But have you ever run a race?

Sunset Shimmer: Well, no, but I do know a lot about running.

Indigo Zap: And you know this from...

Sunset Shimmer: Books. I've read several on the subject.

Indigo Zap: What'd you read, "The Egghead's Guide to Running"? Did you stretch out your eye muscles to warm up? [laugh] Get it? Eye muscles.

Sunset Shimmer: Scoff if you must, Indigo. But the Running of the Leaves is a Ponyville tradition, and since I'm here to learn, I've decided I should experience it myself.

Sugarcoat: Well, I think that's just dandy, Sunset. Good luck. [snickers]

Indigo Zap: Yeah. See you at the finish line... Tomorrow.

Lemon Zest: All right, ponies, are you ready?

Garble: Get set.

[bell rings]

Lemon Zest: And they're off!

Lemon Zest: Welcome to the official coverage of the Running of the Leaves! You know, Garble, despite its name, the leaves don't do any of the actual running. No, that's left to my little ponies.

Garble: Why, yes, Lemon, it's the running of the ponies that causes the leaves to fall.

Lemon Zest: Ugh. Those lazy, lazy leaves. But this year, the run is about more than the weather. It's about the race to the finish and the two runners who want to win it: Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap.

Garble: You know, Lemon, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they're trying to settle. Trying to prove who's the most athletic.

Lemon Zest: Yes, and "grudge" rhymes with "fudge".

Garble: Yes, it... does. What?

Lemon Zest: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much fudge I get a pudge and then I can't budge.

Garble: So... no fudge?

Lemon Zest: Oh, no thanks. I had a big breakfast. Let's check in with our two competitive ponies, Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap. Having come fast out of the gate, Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap are evenly matched running neck and neck. But what's this? Sugarcoat is making a move, she's now ahead by a nose. But Indigo Zap won't let Sugarcoat have it and takes the lead. She's ahead by half a nose. Or maybe three quarters of a nose. No, about sixty-three point seven percent of a nose... roughly speaking. Sugarcoat sees this move and pushes forth with her strong workhorse legs slinking ahead by three hundred and fifty noses!

Sugarcoat: Not so easy without wings, is it?

Indigo Zap: Come on, Indigo. Show 'em a little zap.

Garble: Ho-hold your horses, Lemon! Indigo Zap is catching up the frontrunner Sugarcoat!

Lemon Zest: What an upset. I thought Sugarcoat had this in the bag.

Indigo Zap: You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easily, did you?

Sugarcoat: Shiver me timbers! I don't believe it.

Sunset Shimmer: I know, it's beautiful, isn't it?

Sugarcoat: Not the scenery, Sunset. Indigo Zap just tripped me.

Sunset Shimmer: She did not.

Sugarcoat: She did too!

Sunset Shimmer: She did not, and if you slowed down and looked where you're going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock.

Sugarcoat: What? Oh, hayseed! Now I got a lot of ground to make up to catch Indigo.

Sunset Shimmer: Just be careful!

Sugarcoat: See you at the finish line!

Garble: I don't believe it. After a huge setback, Sugarcoat is back at the front of the pack.

Lemon Zest: She's the head of the pack, all right. The pick of the litter! The cat's pajamas! Oh wait, why would Sugarcoat take some poor kitty's PJs? That's not very sporting of her.

Garble: Oookay... Let's get back to the race.

Indigo Zap: Not so fast, Sugarcoat! This race isn't over yet!

Sugarcoat: It is for you. Heh.

Indigo Zap: Whoa! Guh, I don't believe it, Sugarcoat tripped me.

Sunset Shimmer: Don't you ponies ever look where you're going? You tripped on a stump. See?

Indigo Zap: Oh, I see. A big cheater is what I see.

Sunset Shimmer: Indigo, Sugarcoat would never cheat. It was just an accident.

Indigo Zap: Sure it was. I mean, yeah, I'm sure it was.

Sunset Shimmer: Remember, Indigo Zap, this is just a game.

Indigo Zap: Yes, but the rules have changed, and two can play at that game.

Lemon Zest: Welcome back, Ponyvillians, it's me, Lemon Zest.

Garble: And Garble. Looks like Indigo is doing her best to catch up.

Garble: I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally, I prefer mustard. How about you, Garble?

Garble: Uh... I... like... pickles?

Lemon Zest: Aaand it looks like Sugarcoat has found herself in quite a pickle as Indigo overtakes her.

Indigo Zap: Look, ma, no wings.

Garble: As the racers enter Equestria's Whitetail Wood, Indigo Zap is back in the lead.

Indigo Zap: [chuckles]

Sugarcoat: Ugh. Hey, Indigo!

Indigo Zap: [blows raspberry]

Sugarcoat: [gasp] Why, that little cheater did that on purpose. It's on.

Indigo Zap: Nice one, Indigo.

Sugarcoat: Later!

Indigo Zap: [gasp] Aaa!

Indigo Zap: [laughing]

Sunsdt Shimmer: Oh my, Whitetail Wood is just lovely. Hey, Indigo, shouldn't you be up ahead?

Indigo Zap: [chuckling] I'm sure I'll win now.

Sunset Shimmer: Except that the other racers just passed you.

Indigo Zap: Oh horse apples... See ya!

Lemon Zest: Applejack, what are you doing up here?

Garble: There aren't even any trees.

Sugarcoat: Er, no, but the sign's pointed this way... Indigo. Mind giving me a lift?

Indigo Zap: What the hay?! You said no flying!

Sugarcoat: No, I said no wings.

Lemon Zest: I must say, Garble, that this has been the most interesting Running of the Leaves in Equestria history!

Garble: With the most interesting announcing.

Lemon Zest: But it isn't the running that's been fascinating. It's the lack of running!

Indigo Zap: [grunt] Aaa!

Sugarcoat: Whoa!

Indigo Zap: Whoa!

Sunset Shimmer: Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running?

Indigo Zap: You know, I think Sunset's right.

Sugarcoat: You do?

Indigo Zap: Yeah! If you wanna beat me, you better... RUUUN!

Lemon Zest: Once again, Indigo Zap and Sugarcoat are neck and neck, jockeying for position. Sugarcoat inches ahead, now it's Indigo, it's Sugarcoat, it's Indigo Zap, it's Sugarcoat--

Sugarcoat: [grunt]

Garble: Oh no, she di'int!

Lemon Zest: Oh yes, she di'id!

Sugarcoat: Cut it out!

Indigo Zap: No, you cut it out!

Sugarcoat: Arrgh! You started it.

Indigo Zap: And now I'm gonna finish it.

Sugarcoat: Oh no, you won't.

Indigo Zap: Oh yes, I will. [grunt] That's it! All bets are off!

Sugarcoat: Oh no, you don't.

Lemon Zest: It's Sugarcoat, it's Indigo Zap, it's Sugarcoat, it's Indigo Zest--

Indigo Zap: I won!

Lemon Zest: Nay, I won!

Indigo Zap: I won!

Garble: You tied!

Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap: Tied?!

Sugarcoat: For first?

Indigo Zap: For last!

Sugarcoat: Last?!

Indigo Zap: Then who won?

Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap: You?!

Sunset Shimmer: Oh no, but I did get fifth place, which is rather good considering I've never run a race before.

Sugarcoat: What? How's that even possible?

Indigo Zap: You ran so slow, and looked at the scenery.

Sunset Shimmer: Exactly. I paced myself, just like my book said. Then at the end, when all the other ponies were worn out, I sprinted to the finish.

Indigo Zap: I don't believe it. Twilight beat us.

Sunset Shimmer: Well, with all your horsing around, it was quite easy.

Sugarcoat: You're right, Twilight. Our behavior was just terrible.

Indigo Zap: We weren't very good sports.

Princess Luna: Sounds to me that an important lesson was learned.

Sugarcoat and Indigo Zap: Princess Luna?!

Sugarcoat: Ye olde brethrens! W-What ye bein' doin' here?

Princess Luna: Fall is one of my favorite seasons, so I came to celebrate the Running of the Leaves.

Sugarcoat: I'm sorry you had to see us being such poor sports, Princess.

Princess Luna: That's all right, Sugarcoat. Anypony can get swept up in the excitement of competition.

Sunset Shimmer: It's important to remember that the friendship is always more important than the competition.

Princess Luna: Exactly, Sunset. Now, unfortunately, because the two of you were busy tricking each other instead of shaking down leaves, many of the lovely trees of Equestria are still covered.

Sugarcoat: Why, Princess, I bet we can knock those leaves down for you lickety-split. Whaddya say, friend? Wanna go for another run?

Indigo Zap: I'd love to stretch my legs.

[music]

[credits]