Mach One felt the morning sun shining on his face. He frowned, grunted, and after a long lazy struggle finally gave in to the inevitable and opened his eyes. After several seconds of squinting and cursing at the sunlight streaming through the window right into his eyes, his vision finally adjusted. He squinted at the room around him.

He was certainly not in his room back at Great Granny's little shack. (cozy, but a little cramped for a little old mare, a dozen cats and one growing boy.) And he wasn't at the basement hideout. For one thing he was pretty sure neither of those places had beds with king sized cloud mattresses with mountains of springtime fresh pillows and sky blue cotton sheets set out in the middle of luxuriously appointed suites...

He rolled over and nearly had a heart attack when he found himself staring into Flute's wide eyes. "GAH! Flute-" He grunted. "Don't sit so close to the side of someone's bed! I.." Further recriminations were postponed as the unicorn colt began pronking in place in excitement. Flute looked back over his shoulder at the door. Mach saw his horn light up. "Oh no, Flute, don't-"

BLAAAAAAT!

"aAUGh!" The shock of a vuvuzuela going off next to his ear sent Mach nearly tumbling off the far side of the bed. He untangled himself from the sheets and got ready to tear a strip off of Flute for doing that, but the colt had already run from the room, his horn blatting away full blast. Mach could hear ponies shouting oaths and complaints. "I hate it when he does that," he groused. "Tell him to wake somepony up, what does he do? Bells? Chirping birds? Nooooo..." almost on cue he heard the little fourlegged foley board switch over to a rooster call. Of course.

In the next moment, a small army came bombing in. Or maybe an air force, considering the percentage of pegasi. Every one of the Nobody's Fools crowded into the room, yammering questions and shouting till they couldn't be heard over one another. Trailing behind them came a pegasus nurse and a silver-maned unicorn wearing a doctor's coat and a stethoscope.

Mach could see the doctor was trying to speak over the din. He sat up and tried to be heard. "Guys- GUYS!... Flute?" Flute took the cue.

FWEEEEET!

After Flute's earsplitting imitation of a steam whistle, everypony fell silent. "Thanks Flute. I think," Mach said, rubbing his ears. "You were saying, Doc?"

"Ahem. My name is Doctor Hospice Care," the doctor said. "And I suppose it falls to me to be the first to say, welcome to the wonderful world of alicornhood."

Mach's jaw raised and lowered a few times. "I—" his hoof went to his forehead, finding the base of his new horn immediately. He carefully felt out along it's length. "Oh.. my... it... last night... it wasn't a.. it wasn't a dream-" He started to look and feel himself over, hyperventilating just a little. "I'm an alicorn? An..." Then his hooves stopped. At his wing stub.

The confusion and disappointment on his face was devastating. "I don't understand," he said. His eyes were not watering. They were NOT watering. "I... I flew. I had two wings- I remember-"

Presto edged closer to the bed. "I, uh, I think I can explain that one," he said, smiling uncertainly. "Stretch out your wings."

"But I can't-"

"No. Just... close your eyes, okay?" Still confused and upset, Mach complied. "Now, try to remember how your wings felt last night. Both of them. How the joints moved, and the muscles, and how the feathers fit over each other. You got that in your head?" Mach nodded. It was bizarre, he could almost feel the missing wing. "Okay, now... stretch out your wings."

Mach obeyed. The room exploded into cries of amazement. He opened his eyes. His wings were stretched out on either side of him; on one side, a wing of flesh and blood and bone and feather. On the other, a shimmering, crystal-clear wing, etched out of thin air like cut glass. He couldn't help himself. He flapped them, experimentally. Then he flapped some more, slowly lifting himself off the bed till his head bumped against the ceiling. He lowered himself back down to the bed, wings fanning gently.

"It's just as I thought," Presto breathed in wonder. "A wing, a phantom limb, made out of pure magic... may I...?" he reached out a hoof to touch.

"EEE! Bad Touch! I need a grownup!" Foster shouted in a loud falsetto.

Presto jerked back his hoof as if he'd been scalded, then swatted the amateur comedian three or four times. "You jerk!" The tension in the room vanished as everypony broke up laughing.

"So, Mister... Mach One is it? How are you feeling?" Doctor Hospice said.

Mach took a breath, trying to steady himself. "I have wings," Mach said shakily. "I... I can fly. It's gonna be kinda hard to beat that feeling." He held his breath and bit his lip, afraid he might fall apart if he said more. The Fools knew their cue; they fell on him in a mob, wrapping him in a group hug- interspersed with plenty of friendly jeers and manly back-slapping, of course. No need for it to get all weird.

Doctor Hospice finally managed to elbow his way in and began going over Mach with his magic and his stethoscope. His nurse went around the other side and began checking his pulse and blood pressure. "Now, seriously- how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine, I feel fine," Mach said. "In fact I feel great. Better than I ever have, I think. Why?"

"You kinda scared us," Softy said, looking (pretty much as always) fretful and worried. "I mean, you passed out."

Foster started cackling again. "Yeah, epic entrance there, Peerless Leader," he said. "You come in for a landing all like-" he struck a pose, wings flared. " 'Behold your new Alicorn Prince!' and then- FWUMP. Faceplant, right into the cloudpack," he chortled. The others started snickering.

"Really?" Mach groaned.

"Snout down, wings out flat, butt in the air," Crackerjack confirmed. The others broke up laughing again. "Hail the conquering hero."

Mach groaned and decided to change the subject. He did not want to think about how that was probably in every newspaper in Windy City by now.

Every newspaper. He and the Fools had saved tens of thousands of lives. Holy cow. He shook his disbelief off and tried to focus. "Doc? I don't understand about... about my wing," he said. "Why...?" He flexed his translucent wing by way of explanation.

"Hm. Can you, um, dispel your wing for a moment?" Doctor Hospice said. It took Mach a moment, but he eventually figured out which 'brain muscle' to flex and the wing dissipated into nothing. Doctor Hospice came in close and peered closely at Mach's wing stub. "Mmm hmm, thought so. Take a look," he said. Mach craned his neck around and peered at his stump, his eyes almost crossing. It looked a little different, almost- jointed. And there on the end were two tiny pinfeathers.

"I figured as much," Doctor Hospice said. "When Dash brought me aboard the ship to consult, she loaded me up with the medical files on all the recent ascendants. There's at least one other ascendant whose development is, well, asymmetrical. In their case, despite being fully adult they started as a unicorn, and their wings are still immature and growing. In your case, it seems the regenerative properties of alicorns is going to grow you a new wing... but only at a slow, careful pace."

"So why didn't the magic do it all at once?" Spritz butted in.

"Because he had more urgent things to do at the time than floating around in the celestial plane, growing a wing," Doctor Hospice said with a hint of amusement. "You both spent mere moments on the celestial plane, just long enough to complete the basics of your metamorphosis, then you dove back into the material world to battle the superstorm, relying on a 'phantom limb' to fill in." He shrugged. "It just means you'll have to wait for your natural alicorn regeneration to produce the flesh and blood wing. It'll be slower than floating around a cosmic plane for a couple of hours, but one can hardly complain."

Mach started. "Rookie!" he said. "Doc- Scootaloo- is she-"

"She's fine, she's fine," the doctor said. "She's just still sleeping, as you were. Tuckered her out a bit more, I suspect, as she's younger than you. She's in Princess Dash's cabin."

"Cabin? Where are we?" Mach blinked.

"On board the Princess's ship, the Thunderstreak, mah brony," Zonk said with a grin. "It was the only place we could take you that the press wouldn't be scaling the walls with climbing ropes."

"We did have to blast a few pegasus reporters with water bombs as it is," Fledge said.

He got to his hooves. "You through, Doc? What's the verdict?"

"I think 'Fit as a fiddle' sums it up," Doctor Hospice said. "You'll want to up your calcium and protein- you've got bones and muscle to grow yet."

Mach's stomach growled. "Yeah, that sounds about right. But first- where's Scootaloo?"

---

Scootaloo's eyes blinked open. She realized almost immediately where she was. She was in her cabin... no. She was in Rainbow Dash's cabin, back on the Thunderstreak. Someone had brought her back, tucked her in bed... and her panda doll was with her. She snuggled it, relieved- in all the chaos the night before she'd lost track of it.

The night before...

She sat up, wide awake, her heart pounding. The air show. The explosions. The storm. That space full of stars- no. It couldn't have been real. Not all of it. It was all too crazy to... Carefully, almost fearfully, she started feeling herself over. Omigosh, a horn.

And her wings- they felt-

No, they really felt. They seemed so sensitive. She stretched them out... were they larger? They felt like it. For years she'd listened to other pegasi talk about "feeling" the air around them; for the first time she understood. The instant she spread her wings it was like opening a whole new set of eyes. She could sense the air all around her, she could feel every little zephyr and draft in the room, all at once, as if the very air in the room was an extension of her body. She flapped experimentally; she could feel the invisible vortexes rolling off the tips of her wings. So this was what they meant. Was this what it was like for Rainbow Dash, and all the other pegasi?

Dash's mirror cabinet was standing beside the bed. Shakily, she got down off the cloudy mattress, went over and opened it, folding the leaves out. It wasn't broadcasting now, so all she saw was her own reflection. She stared at herself. There it was, a horn peeping out through her forelock. It looked about like Sweetiebelle's. And yes, her wings were a bit larger. And on her flank-

Her breath caught in her throat. Wings, a laurel wreath... "Omigosh," she squeaked. She tore her eyes away from her cutie mark- eeeeeeee!- and locked eyes with her reflection. "Okay, stay cool," she whispered. "Stay... cool." She held her breath.

She was an alicorn.

She had her cutie mark.

She couldn't possibly go three for three-

She started flapping her wings. And it was so easy. She could feel the air, and the air did what she told it to. She lifted off the floor and hovered. She turned and flew a lap around the room, then another. She hovered over the bed, just hanging time, a thousand emotions running under her skin.

A door creaked. Scootaloo turned in midair. It was Rainbow Dash, standing in the front door. She'd obviously been standing there watching for some time. She was smiling and her eyes were shining. "Hey, squirt," she said softly. "'Sup?"

She said the first dumb thing that popped into her head. "Hey Dash," Scootaloo laughed and hiccuped. "I got my cutie mark..." She wiped her face with her foreleg, why were her eyes watering, why was it so hard to see-? She flew, literally really flew, into Dash's embrace, colliding with her chest with a thump. Dash squeezed her tight enough to pop. Scootaloo started blubbering like a baby, it was so humiliating but she just couldn't stop, big fat tears rolling down her face in a torrent. "I can fly, I can fly, I can fly, I can fly..."

There was a loud sniffle. Scootaloo lifted her face from where it was buried in Dash's shoulder and looked. Mach One and the Fools were all standing in the hallway, jammed together, trying to look through the door. There wasn't a dry eye to be seen. "Hey. None of you saw me crying, got it?" she sobbed, giving them all a weepy smile.

There was another sniffle and a honk. The Fools parted; standing behind them was Harshwhinny, kerchief in hoof and mascara in a state of ruination. "If they tell on either of us I'll deny it in a court of law," she informed Scootaloo severely.

The Fools poured into the room. For the second time that day one of them got mobbed in a mass group hug... with maybe a few less manly back-slaps.

---

"The saboteurs- did you catch them?" Mach said.

Harshwhinny gave him a condemning look. "Yes. They're claiming you'd tied them up, surrounded them with floor-melting bombs and left them to die."

"Uh, yeah. That's true." There was a moment's horrified silence. The Fools all stared at him with shocked expressions... till they noticed he was struggling to suppress an evil smirk. "And how long did it take them to notice the parachute cord I'd tied to both their ankles?"

It took them a moment to get it. "Oh MAN," Zonk hooted.

"Probably right up to the moment they hit the end of the slack," Harshwhinny said drolly. "They were dangling upside down from a chunk of the Thunderdome's superstructure, flapping like scalded chickens and screaming their heads off. They had to be treated for badly sprained ankles, but other than that- and possible lifelong trauma- they're fine." She put a mark on a clipboard and looked up. "How did you know that the bombs wouldn't dissolve what you'd anchored the parachute cords to?"

"I didn't," Mach said, his voice a little cold. "But I figured I was giving them more of a chance than they gave a whole stadium full of innocent ponies." He shrugged. "besides, they were tied together and the mare's wings were unbound. Not my fault if the dum dums forgot she could fly."

Dash laughed her tail off. Harshwhinny gave both the Princess and the new Prince a sour look. "Hmph. I think we'll leave that bit out of the official press release," she said dryly.

"Press release?" Scootaloo said.

"You have your epic whirlwind to unravel, I have mine," Harshwhinny said, raising an eyebrow and her clipboard. "Mine is being whipped up right now by spin doctors."

"Yeah," Dash groaned. "Can't bail till the cleanup's done. How bad was Lee Valley hit?"

"Actually," said a voice in the doorway, "I'm here to drop a report on that." Spitfire stepped halfway in and leaned against the doorframe. "Whoa, big crowd... anyway, Your Rainbowness, Lee Valley is actually looking pretty good."

"Really?" Dash said in disbelief.

"Yeah. Most of the farmers got scared outta their stripes by the windstorm, but we- or well YOU," she pointed at Mach and Scootaloo, "broke it up before any major damage was done. Right now they're getting a nice steady series of rainshowers, just like they had backlogged. They're all happy as Princess Pinkie in a pie-eating party. They're sending their thanks and compliments."

"Oh wow, that's good." Dash paused. "But compliments?"

"Yeah, apparently Squirt here put on a lightshow in Lee Valley when she ascended," Spitfire grinned. "Folks are all talking about a junior Wonderbolt trailing wings of lightning and covered in flame. They thought it was part of the air show. Hah!"

"I sorta remember that..." Scootaloo said thoughtfully.

"So long as they're happy," Dash said. "I don't think I could deal with a whole valley of farmers whizzed off at me."

"They might be a little cheesed at all the junk that got dumped on 'em," Foster noted. "Not everything in the Thunderdome was made out of clouds, you know."

"Ouch. I guess we'll be writing a lot of apology letters..."

---

Eli stood in his fields, bareheaded, rain pattering on his smiling upturned face. He was getting drenched to the bone and he didn't care a lick. The watermelon crop was saved. Just a handful of hours before it looked like all had been doomed; now, thanks to the Princesses, this one poor donkey's farm would see another year.

On top of that, he and several of his neighbors found themselves picking a secondary windfall crop out of their fields and trees, thanks to the odds and ends that enormous storm had dropped out of its belly on them... clothes, tools, the odd box of supplies.. Zekiel was now the proud owner of a box of 144 bog rolls, and Widow Hepzibah down the road was ecstatic over the half-dozen stadium lights, totally undamaged, that had landed in one of her hay bales. She was talking up a storm about how she was going to rig them up in her new greenhouse.

His little girl, a zonkey hinny, was running up and down the farm, splashing in the puddles and doing a wild midsummer rain dance. Her mother would throw a fit about it later... bah, let the girl play. It wouldn't do any harm. Muddy hooves and muddy clothes could be washed.

"Pa!" she suddenly called out. Eli quit his woolgathering and trotted round the barn to see what the matter was. Minnie was standing under the old cherry tree, staring up into the branches. "Pa, what was this all about?" she said. Eli looked up in the tree. Dangling from the branches were a half a dozen or so sodden, tattered dolls.

Bemused, Eli stood on his hind legs and carefully pulled them down. Minnie took each one and gently set together on a nearby stone. She cradled the last one. "Aww," she said. "How did this happen to the poor li'l things?"

"Somepony musta lost 'em in the storm," Eli said, nodding skyward at the ragged remains of the Thunderdome. Probably him and a lot of his neighbors would be picking some mighty odd things off their treetops and rooftops this week.

Minnie hesitated. "I guess we'll need to find who belongs to 'em, then," she said. It didn't take a smart pony to hear the regret in her voice.

Eli rolled the pipe in his mouth to the other side and regarded his daughter. "Might clean 'em an' patch 'em up a bit first," he said. "An' I reckon they might need somepony to look after 'em till we find whomever lost 'em." The suggestion was a bit thick.

Minnie smiled eagerly and hugged the sodden plush. "Oh, I kin do that," she said.

Eli chewed on his pipe stem and tried not to laugh. Oh well, he thought. Hopefully this mystery owner will be willing to swap for a couple of ripe melons.

---

Harshwhinny's lips compressed into a thin line. "It's going to be a very busy week. Damage to clean up, compensation to be decided, the saboteurs to be dealt with, reimbursements made for the cancelled shows-" Dash groaned at this one. "In brief... we're going to be in Windy City for a while."

"Well, for now what's first?" Dash said. Then she facehoofed. "Oh doi- I gotta contact the others! They gotta want to know about all this." She pulled her compact out of her peytral and flipped it open."Scuse me everypony." She stepped off to the side and began talking into the compact's mirror. "Hello? Applejack? ... Hey AJ, where were you? I tried all last night to reach you guys..."

"Well, let's see what's next on the agenda-" Harshwhinny said. She was interrupted by a loud rumble. Mach looked sheepish.

"Uh, maybe breakfast?" he said. "The boys and I could probably use some grindage."

"Ooo, yeah, now that you mention it I'm starving," Scootaloo said. There was a chorus of agreement from the other youngsters in the room.

"Couldn't any of you use room service?" Harshwhinny said.

"Well yah, we tried using that bell-horn thingy to call down to the kitchen," Spritz said. "But when we tried to order a pizza the chef guy started crying and screaming at us."

"in Prench," Crackerjack added.

Scootaloo's eyebrows tabled. "Yeah, Chef Fancy Schmancy is like that," she said. "Really, Harsh, do we really need him?"

"If you want to host state dinners that aren't catered by Chef Boy-ar-dee,(*) yes," Harshwhinny said. "I'll see what I can do..."

Dash overheard this. "It's cool," she said over her shoulder. "Ajax went out to track down a Burger Barn with that gryphon kid."

You could have heard a pin drop (or you would have, if not for the cheers from the peanut gallery at the promise of greasy repast.) Harshwhinny looked at Dash, aghast. "You sent the Royal Prince and emissary of the Gryphon kingdom on a burger run?"

"Well, he offered," Dash said defensively. "His airship is parked right next to ours, and-"

Harshwhinny groaned and covered her eyes. "I work for a mare who can turn breakfast into an international incident," she said faintly.

"Hey, now I...- oh forget it. I'm busy." Dash snorted and turned back to her mirror. "So why the heck were you guys- wait. Applebloom what?"

---

The Burger Barn on Scholar's peak was accustomed to a lot of exotic foot traffic. Being practically at the very foot of the Academy, the staff there had served brilliant (and not so brilliant) scholars and professors, researchers, politicians of every level of power, and the scions of countless noble houses.

This went a long way in explaining why the gryphoness behind the register was singularly unimpressed with the fact that the crown prince of the Griffon kingdom was currently flirting with her. "Sir," she sighed, giving him a not-so-longsuffering look, "please, if you are not going to place a serious order-"

"I'm stone cold serious, beautiful," the gryphon leaning against her counter said with what he obviously thought was a winning smile. "Fifty double jumbo soyburgers,(1) fifty Celestia-size orders of fries, fifty Celestia-size Big Gulp sodas- you know what, just give me the cups and put the soda in some gallon jugs, that'll be easier to carry-a hundred of those little hot bubbly fruit pies, half apple, half cherry..."

"We're sorry sir," the cashier gryphoness droned, with the air of a gryphon who had to repeat this WAY too many times. "But due to city ordinances passed by Mayor Fussbudget, restaurants within the city limits are forbidden to serve any burger larger than a quarter pound, fries larger than 'small' or any soda bigger than eight ounces- and you can pretty much forget the hot bubbly pies," she finished with an air of disgust.

Ajax didn't turn a feather. "Aww, c'mon," he teased. "You can't bend the rules a bit for one of the heroes of the Thunderdome terrorist attack?"

The cashier girl's eyes widened a bit, but her cynical mask quickly settled back over her face. "Look... Your Majesty... we've had ponies, gryphons and zonkies in and out all day from that disaster, so I'm sure you probably had a talon in the rescue work going on." She pointed out the window where emergency weather crews could be seen streaking across the sky, in and out of the weather factory, then waved at the customers, a large portion of which were wearing hard hats and orange vests. "I'm not the sort of chick who gets impressed by some guy blowing his own horn."

"Who said anything about me?" Ajax reached behind him, picked up Fledge, and plunked the gryphon pup on the counter. Fledge gave the cashier girl a wide eyed nervous smile.

"Meep," he said.

The cashier girl blinked in surprise. "You?- Fledge, right? You were in that mess?"

"Better believe he was," Ajax said. "This young gryph and his friends were flying to the rescue not sixty seconds after the saboteur's bombs went off. He helped save a lot of lives. Saw him snatch a little hinny nearly big as him from certain doom and fly her to safety." Fledge simply sat there, turning red.

"Oh no way." She said, wide eyed. Wordlessly, Ajax accepted a newspaper from one of his stoic guards, and turned it over so she could see the front page image. Under a blaring full-width headline was a full-color photo. It had been snapped at the perfect angle, catching a handful of the rescuers at work in the storm lashed night. You could see a couple of Wonderbolts and of the Fools and even Ajax's gryphon guards in the background, and right in the foreground was Fledge, in mid swoop, claws out to a foal whose hooves were stretched out to him for help.

"Oh my gawwwsh! This little guy?" The cashier's eyes went wide and her face lit up as she grabbed the newspaper. "OmiGAWWSH- Can I have this? Oh I gotta show the others this!" Job forgotten, she ran into the back through the swinging doors, waving the paper. "Girls, you ain't gonna believe who's in the paper-"

Prince Ajax caught Fledge's eye and gave him a smug grin. "And now we know why you said that this was your favorite Burger Barn in Windy City-"

"Gahh!" Fledge said, covering his face.

"Come here to enjoy the food and the scenery, huh?" Prince Ajax teased. His two armored gryphon guards behind him snickered. "Been keeping a weather eye on that one, am I right?"

Fledge made frantic shushing motions. "She'll hear you!" he stage whispered.

A moment later the gryphon girl made a reappearance, along with several of her coworkers; another gryphon, a couple of fillies, a zebra mare, even a petite and surprisingly cute and fluffy diamond dog female.(2) They crowded around the counter, babbling. "Really?" "No Way?" "Our li'l Fledge?" They crowded around the counter, job forgotten, fussing and flirting with the increasingly flustered gryphon pup. Ajax's eyebrow climbed further up his forehead as he gave Fledge a calculating eye.

"Or maybe you're keeping an eye out for more than one," he said. "You're gonna cut a swathe of destruction when you get a little older-"

"Prince Ajaaaaax!" At this point Fledge was practically curled up into a solid ball of fur and feathers.

The cashier girl laughed and gave Fledge a smile. "Guess you're the hero of the hour, huh, cutie? Now that deserves a hero's reward-" To Fledge's everlasting astonishment she leaned forward and gave him a beak nuzzle. "Now we just gotta try and bend the rules for our favorite hero customer now don't I? Lemme go talk to the manager-" she hopped away from the counter and disappeared into the back of the restaurant. A moment later she returned with a slightly harried-looking stallion, who eyed the group at his counter and put on his most regretful expression.

"I'm sorry, your Highness," he said with a weary sigh to Prince Ajax. "We would love to fill your order, especially with all you and the young fellow here have done, but the Mayor's "Good Health For Your Own Good" ordinances mean we would get hit with all sorts of fines if we served you any meal larger than a certain size, or sold you more than a certain number of orders at once- filthy little control freak closed THAT loophole fast enough-" he muttered under his breath, seething briefly- " and yes, I know it's ridiculous and it's none of the Mayor's business and everything else I'm sure you want to say, but-"

Ajax held up a talon. "Before you go on," he said. "And coincidentally, nogryphon here blames you for this... I believe that this is what this is for." He accepted a scroll from the guard on his right and handed it to Fledge. "Young gryph? Would you do the honors." He patted Fledge on the back. "Nice and loud now."

Fledge smoothed down his feathers and composed himself. He unrolled the scroll, revealing the royal seal, and held it out at arm's length.

" Um... Hear Ye, Hear Ye. Whereas they are a vi-o-la-tion of Free Market Principles, are a Tres- um, Tes- oh. Are a trespass against civil lib... civil liberties, and Whereas it is nopony's darn business what another pony drinks or eats, especially not the business of that poozer Mayor Fussbudget, or of any bunch of wet nancy whiny busybody city hall control freaks-"

Several of the patrons laughed and applauded at that one. Fledge cleared his throat again and continued.

"Therefore by royal decree the city ordinances collectively known as the "Good Health For Your Own Good Ordinances" are hereby PERMANENTLY REVOKED. On this day in the year of … uh etcetera etcetera..., by order of Her Highness Princess Rainbow Dash, Alicorn Of Loyalty, Champion of Equestria and Defender of the Realm."

A cheer went up from the patrons. Fledge paused and blushed. "uh, should I read this part out loud?" he stage whispered to Ajax. Ajax nodded. Fledge cleared his throat.

"P.S...Now fix my order, darn it."

The restaurant roared with laughter. More than anything else that week, that tidbit alone cemented Princess Dash as Windy City's favorite princess.

---

"I hope they're not having trouble getting the food," Scootaloo said, just a little bit grumbly. "I am starving."

"Nah, they're good," Wheezer said. "Princess Rainbow Dash said she gave them something to grease the wheels, she said. I wonder what, though?"

"I'm wondering what's up with that," Crackerjack murmured. He nodded his head toward the corner where Dash was standing, making astonished noises and faces into a makeup compact.

"That's... a little odd, yeah," Mach agreed.

"Oh that's a magic compact," Scootaloo said. "It's got a mini magic mirror inside. She can contact the other princesses that way."

"Really? Cool. I wonder if they'll be on the market soon? I can think of a zillion times we coulda used something like that," Crackerjack said thoughtfully.

Dash shut her compact and rejoined them. She looked stunned. "Scootaloo? …. I think you need to make a little call. No no no," she said when Scootaloo started to open her own compact. "We'll need the big mirrors for this one. Guys? Clear a space around this side of the bed..." she motioned everypony away from the side of the bed with the wardrobe.

"What's wrong?" Scootaloo said, worried.

Dash started to grin knowingly. "Well, don't you wanna call the other Crusaders, let 'em know about... developments?" she said.

"Oh. OH! Yeah, oh boy! I can't wait to show the others this!" She looked eager. But almost instantly the excitement turned to apprehension.

"Somethin' wrong?"

"Yeah! I mean, No! But... I mean... I'm so excited!- but..." she bit her lip. Memories flashed across her eyes of a thousand Cutie Mark crusades, and through them all an unspoken promise to get their cutie marks- together- or die trying. There had always been that fear they'd all shared, and never spoken, about what would happen if one of them got their mark before the others. And now the realization that she had gone and leapt ahead of the others, further than any of them could have dreamed, was sinking in. Anxiety filled her belly. "Do you think they'll be... okay? I... I dunno- I mean..." she gestured meaningfully at herself. "What if it's... too much...?"

Dash put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "Scootaloo, they're you're friends. They'll be happy for you." She chuckled. "Besides, trust me- you just might be in for a surprise." She set Scootaloo up on the edge of the bed and opened up the wardrobe. The Nobody's Fools were surprised when the wardrobe revealed not clothes but mirrors. They crowded around behind Scootaloo and watched in curiosity as she opened up the magic mirror cabinet all the way. "Conference call. C'mon everypony!" Dash said. The mirrors glimmered as she stepped back out of the way, and the Fools all gasped as the mirrors began to glow.

"Crusaders?" Mach said to Dash out of the side of his mouth as she stepped around in front of the mirrors, hiding Scootaloo behind her.

"Scootaloo's best friends. The three of them call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Those three have been trying to get their cutie marks together for ages." She chuckled. "Getting up to their necks in trouble while they were at it, too."

Softy overheard that. "But what happens when they get their cutie mark? Or when one of them gets their cutie mark before the others?"

"I think that's what Rookie is worried about, Softy," Mach said quietly.

"Ohhhh..."

Dash snickered. "Oh, I don't think that's going to be a problem," she said, leaving Mach and Softy mystified. Their attention was drawn back to the mirrors as the rest of the ponies in the room cooed in amazement. The mirrors no longer showed a reflection of Scootaloo or the room full of ponies behind her, but rather several very famous ponies.

"It's the Princesses!" someone yelped. Indeed it was. Princess Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy (who meeped and disappeared out of frame when she saw how many ponies were watching), Twilight Sparkle, and in the center mirror, no less than Princess Celestia, who smiled warmly at all of them. The setup of the mirrors wasn't identical for each; For some reason Celestia's mirror only showed her from the neck up, and Princess Twilight's reflection seemed to be an extremely wobbly closeup.

"Ohmigosh! It's... It's Princess Everypony! I mean, it's Every Pony, Princess- I mean- Augh!" Wheezer rasped, fumbling for his inhaler.

"Should we bow?" somepony said frantically. Several of the princesses tittered, and Celestia actually gave a hearty laugh.

"Perhaps we should dispense with the formalities this time," Celestia's reflection suggested. "It's not exactly a formal occasion after all." Several of the Fools looked seriously relieved. "But what brings you to call, Rainbow Dash?"

"Yes, what's up?" Twilight's reflection said. "I'm sort of undercover here, guys... it's okay for now but I can't exactly be waving around a magic mirror." An undercover princess? several ponies wondered.

"Yes, darlings," Princess Rarity said. "I know you said you had a surprise, Dash, but I did say things were in a bit of a kerfluffle here on my end..." The alicorn of Generosity patted her mane-do. She had obviously been trying to hide bags under her eyes with makeup.

"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie, sister," Princess Applejack said. While Rarity looked tired, Applejack looked outright frazzled. Though as for that, Dash was looking a bit worn out around the edges herself, Mach thought. She gave a half-grin. "But I kin guess why Dash called this little shindig. You wanted to spring mah little surprise on everypony yourself, dintcha, Dash?"

Dash grinned. "Not reeeeeeallly," she said.

Rarity gave a throaty chuckle and tossed her mane. Several of the colts in the room swooned. "Oh, well, I doubt it has anything on my little surprise." She pouted at Dash. "Dashie, you just promised you would'nt spring the surprise before I had a chance to arrange our little debut..."

"Oh my," Fluttershy said, peeking out from behind her mane. "Nothing is wrong, is it?" She blinked her dewy eyes in worry. The colts who'd gotten weak at the knees over Rarity were joined by several others.

"No, no," Dash said. "Just.. just go get the other Crusaders, okay?"

With mystified looks, Rarity and Applejack walked out of frame. They returned a minute later nudging somepony small ahead of them. Dash waited until they were seated in front of their mirrors.

"Hey, girls," she said to the other two Crusaders. "Guess who's got a surprise..." she stepped to one side, revealing a nervously fidgeting Scootaloo.

"Hi guys," she said weakly. She brushed her mane back from her horn. "Um, sur... prise...?"

The little orange alicorn trailed off, jaw hanging slack. Staring back at her from the magic mirrors were two OTHER little alicorn fillies.

"Holy moley," one of the Nobody's Fools said. "They're poppin' up like mushrooms..."

Scootaloo stared, mouth hanging open. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle stared back. Scootaloo stood up on the bed and fluttered her wings. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle stood up on theirs and fluttered their wings as well. Scootaloo tapped her horn; Applebloom and Sweetiebelle did the same. Scootaloo turned sideways, showing them the brand new mark on her flank, and looked up to see them doing the same...

"Cover your ears," Harshwhinny muttered loudly She ignored the puzzled looks this statement got and put her hooves over her ears. "Three... two..."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The eardrum splitting screech sent everypony on either side of the mirror reeling as the three Cutie Mark Alicorns began bouncing up and down and shrieking with glee.

"Gahhh! My ears!"

"Deafened for life, I know it-"

"Girls! Some warning next time!"

"Owww..."

"Best day EVER!" Sweetiebelle shouted.

"Hear hear!" Applebloom said.

"Not any more, I can't," Foster grumbled, digging in his aching ear with a hooftip.

"OH WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Scootaloo shouted. She stopped pronking in place. "Look!" She started flapping. Slowly she lifted up off the bed and began hovering in place. She fluttered a slow circle around the ceiling for a bonus, then hovered some more in front of the mirror. Her grin could have re-lit the sun.

"You kin flah?" Applebloom said, so excited her accent nearly strangled her.

"She can fly!" Sweetiebelle shrieked.

"EEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Augh, and again with the shrieking and the eardrum bleeding!" Foster said, clutching his head. Mercifully for his and everypony else's ears, the screaming had given way to cheers, shouts of delight and laughter, and hysterical high-speed babbling from the three new princesses as they each tried to tell their story, first to each other and then to the other princesses gathered at the mirror. Then Applebloom ran off to drag her cousin Babs out of bed, and Sweetiebelle ran off to drag Mudpuppy out of bed, and the ruckus started all over again.

The elder princesses, it had to be said, were just as giddy. Even Princess Fluttershy managed to venture a "yay," and Princess Pinkie was practically ricocheting around her side of the mirror at the thought of the party she was going to throw. She paused in her pronking about to count the cutie marks and alicorns out loud and paused. "Aww, Dashie, everypony else has two and you have just one," she said. "Didn't you ever find that mysterious stallion alicorn you told us about?"

"Ooh yes, darling, do give us an update," Princess Rarity said. "A mysterious dashing stranger who woos you with roses- quelle romantique." She all but swooned at the thought.

Dash simply sat there turning red. Harshwhinny was standing just out of frame and smirking evilly. "Suffice it to say Her Highness' search didn't quite produce the results she expected-" she said loudly enough to be heard.

Mach growled and buried his head in his hoodie. If he'd known that giving a princess a lousy rose would give him this much trouble...

"Scuse me a minute-" Dash ducked around the cabinet and glared violently at Harshwhinny. "Don't you dare try and pull this on me," she hissed. "You already let me make a fool of myself- and by the way that was the meanest, nastiest, most underhanded-"

"It surprises me," Harshwhinny said sotto voce. "That it hasn't occurred to you yet..."

"What?" Dash snapped.

"That Princess Luna hasn't been introduced to our newest alicorn Prince yet."

Dash stopped. A smile slowly spread across her face; it was the most frightening smile Mach had seen since the day Bananas Foster had figured out how to set a raincloud on fire.(3) "Oh this is too good," she said. She pointed at Mach. "You? Play along; stay out of sight till I signal you. Pinkiiiiieeee?" she said, stepping back around the cabinet. "Where's Princess Luna...?"

---

Five minutes later Dash was rolling on the floor, hooves pedaling in the air as she laughed her guts out, and a mortified Luna was gawking at an equally mortified Mach One.

"Oh man, oh MAN," Dash howled. "Celestia are you sure we're immortal, 'cause I'm DYING here-"

"Dash, now that was mean," Applejack scolded, biting her lip as her sides shook.

Celestia, on the other hand, was fairly amused. "Dear Luna, it seems you've been HAD," she tittered.

Meanwhile, the Nobody's Fools were rolling on the floor laughing at their peerless leader- who was hunched down in his baggy hoodie and grumping at everything hard enough to curdle milk. It was the second time in two days that his masculine ego had taken a kick to the face, and he was starting to feel rather sorry for himself... till he looked up at the extremely disappointed Moon Princess in the mirror and saw her eyes were as wide as a hurt fawn's, and that her lower lip was just, ever so barely, starting to wibble.

Mach got a wicked notion to get back some of his own. He snorted at the prostrated Rainbow Dash. "Well fine then," he said. "Maybe she'll give me a chance when you wouldn't." There was a vase of flowers standing on a nearby vanity table; he plucked a rose from the display and sauntered to the mirror. "What do you say, Princess?"

The room fell dead silent. Luna gawked at him for a moment then found her voice. "Do not mock at me, youth," she said, turning her muzzle up and looking away. "Thou'rt but a stripling still, and my heart is not a toy for thee to play!"

"Hey, I know I'm young," he shrugged. "But maybe I like... older women. Ones with a little more maturity and sophistication-" he shot Dash a scathing look. "-or at least more than what I've seen-"

"Hey!"

"And it's not like I'm going to be this young forever," He pointed out, lowering his lashes seductively. He leaned in; almost against her will Luna found her eyes drawn back to the mirror. He held the rose up and let it caress the glass.

"This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet..."

Somepony female let out a squeak. Luna's eyes tracked the rose like she was mesmerized. Mach decided to go for broke.

"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies..."

There was a long silence. "Whoa," somepony said. "He is good."

Luna shook her head and came to herself. "Thou impertinent whelp," she gasped. "Thy cheek! Thy affrontery! To speak to a princess of the realm and the mistress of the night and moon with such- such sensual familiarity!" she huffed in outrage and turned away from the mirror. "Thou hast my scorn!" She picked up a folding fan and fanned herself. "New princeling or no, if We speak to thee in a year, twill be too soon! In fact, We shan't speak or look to thee in- in..."

"He's fifteen," Pinkie Pie muttered to her.

"In SIX years! So there!"

"Legal is eighteen in Phillydelphia," Pinkie added helpfully.

"-Or mayhap three. Good morrow, sir!" And she flounced out of the frame.

Mach sauntered away from the mirror. "Oh well, maybe next time," he said, casually dropping the rose back in the vase before plunking down where he'd been before. He had a smirk on his face. Dash on the other hand had an expression like she knew she'd just been "had," and wasn't quite sure how it happened.

Luna wasn't the only one who was flustered. The princesses in the mirrors were looking rather flushed; one was fanning herself with her hat, while another was daintily splashing water on her face. "I get the feelin' that somepony got the last laugh, an' it ain't none of us," Applejack said, amused.

"Give him a few years," Celestia said in amusement, even though her own cheeks were fairly pink

There was a knock at the door. It swung open, revealing Prince Ajax and Fledge, bearing a dozen paper bags. His guards were carrying even more. "Hail the conquering heroes!" he said, chuckling. "We return, bearing golden-fried bounty!"

"All right, food!" the momentary awkwardness popped like a balloon as everyone present cheered the arrival of sustenance.

"That sounds lak a good idea, actually," Applebloom said. "Kin we order up somethin', Applejack?"

---

After the food had been dispersed and the worst hunger pangs had been quenched, they had all settled in while the three Cutie Mark Crusaders (and one Manehattan cousin) told their ascension stories. Pretty soon the listeners on either side of the mirror were listening wide eyed and open-mouthed, food forgotten halfway to their mouths, as three little fillies described adventures that would leave Daring Do herself staggered.

"Zombies? Real live zombies?"

"You flew into a tornado?"

"Oh horseapples, there's more than one Discord? Augh!"

"A necromancer... yikes."

"Seriously. Just hair and sneakers..."

The storytelling eventually devolved into a heated debate amongst everyone present as to whose story was the coolest. Most of the pegasi and gryphons felt that Scootaloo and Mach's story was the most awe-inspiring; it wasn't wings-only bias, really, so much as being aware of just how epic tackling a runaway supercell actually was. The others didn't really understand; it's hard to appreciate the size of an elephant if one has never seen one.

On the other hoof, it was pretty unanimous that Sweetiebelle and Mudpuppy's story was the most frightening. Every pony, gryphon, and zonkey present shuddered in horror at the kappas, hinkypunks, and zombies, felt the sickening horror of the evil laboratory, and shivered in fear of the horrible lich. And more than a few cried at the freeing of the zombie spirits, and the tragic end of Cotton Mouth.

By contrast a fair few of them, Foster in particular, were of the conviction that Applebloom and Bab's story was the most hilarious. "You shot BEES up his NOSE?" Foster squawked. He was laughing so hard he was crying.

"Fizzin' whizbees, actually," Applebloom said. "They're also called twittermites... sorta like bees that make lightning-"

"Bees and LIGHTNING up his nose! Even better!"

Some were more focused on the more technical aspects of the misadventures. "You tried to halt a class one supercell with direct magical kinetic manipulation?" Twilight all but shouted at Rainbow Dash. "Haven't your tutors told you anything about kinetic-thaumatic feedback? That would have been like plugging your horn into the turbines on the Hoofer Dam!(4) You should have been FRIED!"

"Tell me about it," Dash said ruefully, gingerly touching the tip of her horn. "I'm still feeling a little crispy this morning..."

"Well get plenty of rest, lots of fluids and avoid using magic for a few days," Celestia said firmly. "You'll need time to recuperate from that, and the more you use your magic the longer it will take to heal up."

Of course, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders present, the topic would drift, at least for them, to the obvious. "...And it's really really awesome and all," Scootaloo said doubtfully, prodding at her flank. "The laurel's for victory. And I get what the wings are about, obviously- but... a square and a circle?"

Wheezer peered through his spectacles at Scootaloo's flank, possibly a bit closer than was polite. "Oh, I recognize those," he said. "Those are the geometric symmetry lines from the Vitruvian Alicorn, by the Neightalian artist and polymath Bold Lion."

"The guy who made Applebloom's statue?" Scootaloo said, confused. "And the who with the what?"

"The Vitruvian Alicorn," Wheezer repeated impatiently. "You've seen it- that drawing of an alicorn standing like-" he stood up on his hind hooves with his forelegs stretched out to the sides. Several ponies made "ohh" sounds. He dropped back down to all fours. "Ponies used to think it was a sketch of Celestia or Luna when they were recently ascended and still the same size as other ponies centuries ago, but in actuality it was supposed to be an overlapped drawing of earth pony, pegasus and unicorn, to show their similarities and differences." He shrugged. "You'd think the fact the drawing had twelve legs would have clued them in."

"Oh yeah. I remember- Miss Cheerilee had a health class book with that on the cover," Scootaloo said. "But what does it mean?"

"Well on one level it probably refers to your own triplicate nature as an alicorn," Wheezer said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "But also, because you're an athlete and a dancer, it represents your mastery over your body."

"Oh. Cool."

"You're quite well read," Twilight said, pleased.

Wheezer hiked up his baggy sweater, showing his cutie mark- a brain floating over a book. "It's my special talent," he said. "Eiditic memory. I read it once, I remember it forever."

"Yeah, he's like a four legged reference library," Spritz said, giving Wheezer an affectionate shoulder punch.

"And you will note that all three of you have laurel wreaths around your marks," Twilight's reflection added. "Not only does a shared cutie mark feature indicate extreme closeness- like family ties or lifelong friendship- a golden laurel is a symbol of success or mastery... for example, like a 'poet laureate' is a master of poetry. In your case, Scootaloo, mastery of your body and all things athletic. Just as Applebloom's shows mastery of invention and intellect, and Sweetiebelle's shows a mastery of music on a deeply spiritual level."

"Body, mind and spirit," Celestia recited, pleased. "You three are linked in a truly profound way."

"Yes, that's what I said..." Twilight said.

Dash snerked. "Only you, Egghead."

"Cool!" Scootaloo said. "Cutie Mark Crusaders forever!" she put up her hoof to the mirror for a brohoof.

"But we're not crusading for our cutie marks anymore," Sweetiebelle said.

"Yeah. Actually most of us kinda overshot the mark there," Applebloom said, fluttering her wings a bit.

"So what are we now?" Sweetiebelle fretted.

"Aww, come on, we're still US," Babs said. "We'll figure out a cool name for it later." She snickered. "At least the Cutie Mark Crusaders finished in typical Cutie Mark Crusader style." The other three giggled and nodded.

"And what would that be?" Celestia asked.

"Action," Scootaloo said.

"Adventure," said Applebloom.

"Danger," Sweetiebelle said.

"Disaster," said Babs. "and..."

"MASSIVE PROPERTY DAMAGE!" All four chorused, to general laughter.

Other ponies were focusing on far more profound and pressing issues of deep philosophical and societal implications. "HE GAVE YOU A FAKE BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?" Pinkie Pie shrieked.

"Yeah. But it was a long time ago..." Mach found himself backpedaling carefully. The bubbly Alicorn of Laughter's transformation at his story was alarming. Her reflection had become eerily underlit and her voice was echoing strangely.

"There is no statute of limitations on the Law of Party," she intoned, glaring. "There WILL be a RECKONING."

"Okay, fine, just let him live?" Mach squeaked. He found himself seriously starting to pity his selfish vote-grubbing uncle.

"Oh don't be silly," Pinkie said, suddenly her bubbly self again. Then just as suddenly she was back to scary mode. "He'll live."

Yup. Definitely pitying him now, Mach decided.

---

"...And you've been studying magic all on your own," Princess Twilight said. "You're entirely self-educated?"

Presto nodded. "Seeing as I'm an earth pony," he said. "No magic schools or tutors around here will take me."

"Oh well that's just ridiculous," Twilight scoffed. "Even if you can't cast the spells yourself, there are entire fields of study where an academic knowledge are more important. Theoretical magic research for example. Why I have an old classmate, Sunburst. He lives in the Crystal Empire where he does his research and study. Even though he has hardly any raw magical power, he's one of the most brilliant magical theoreticians in Equestria. Heck, he has to have his assistant do the practical testing of his spells for him... well, actually it's his fiancee, but she's also his assistant. Starlight Glimmer. He provides the brains, she provides the brawn, magically speaking."

"How'd they come to an arrangement like that?" Presto said.

"There's kind of an awkward story behind that..." Twilight said, grimacing a bit. "It seems he rescued her from an anti-cutie mark cult way out in the back of nowhere.

"Why is that an awkward story, Twilight dear? It sounds rather dashing and romantic," Rarity said.

"Um, well, it seems she started the cult, originally," Twilight explained, cringing a bit. "Then her lieutenant overthrew her and took over and ruled the place with an iron hoof, till Sunburst showed up... It's kind of a touchy subject with her, it's best not to bring it up." She shook her head. "Anyway, he would be fascinated with your amateur research into cross-tribal magic. I can put you in touch with him if you like..."

"You would do that?" Presto said eagerly.

"Of course!" Twilight said, beaming. "You're a brilliant young colt, Presto. I wouldn't be surprised if he took you on board as his apprentice or even as his assistant. It would be just criminal if a promising young colt of your caliber was held back because of some institutionalized prejudice..."

---

"So this is the first member of the Nopony..." Sweetiebelle said.

"Nobody's Fools." Scootaloo corrected.

"Of them. Flute is the first one you met?" Sweetiebelle said.

"Yup." Flute nodded along with Scootaloo. "He can't speak. But he can do this neat trick... show her, Flute.." Flute complied. Glowing motes of light floated off the tip of his horn, each one playing a different sound; twittering birds, bells, a slide whistle, a creaking door, and a handful of glowing motes that played a musical scale.

"Oh, that was lovely!" Fluttershy said, applauding. "But... if he can do that, can't he make words that way?"

"Um, yeah, kinda. But only short ones," Scootaloo explained. Flute demonstrated. The next few glowing bubbles went "Hey!" "Yeah!" "Ha!" "No!" Some were muddled and hard to distinguish. Others were a lifeless monotone. Flute made a face and shrugged.

Sweetiebelle got a speculative look on her face. "Can he... make one sing a note, and hold it? Like this. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." she sang.

Flute nodded. He closed his eyes and focused. A much more concentrated dollop of light rose from the tip of his horn. "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..." it sang in a lovely coltish soprano. He opened his eyes, pleased with himself.

"Okay, now hold it! " Sweetiebelle said quickly. Flute kept the mote going. "Now make it go uuuuup," she sang in ascending scale. Flute mimicked her. "And doowwwwwwnn..." Flute imitated her again. "And now: Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do... Do Mi Re Fa Mi So Fa La So Ti La Do Ti Re Do..." Flute followed along, note for note. "Oh good!" Sweetiebelle said, clapping her hooves. "Can you turn it on and off without it going away?" He complied "Oh. Perfect!" she said in delight.

"Now swallow it!"

Flute let out a mote that could best be described as "?"

"Let it float into your mouth and down your throat," Sweetiebelle explained. She tapped herself on the throat. "And let it stop right about here. It's just magic, it won't block your air or anything." Flute looked at her suspiciously. "Go on," she urged. Finally he shrugged, opened his mouth and let the glowing dot float in.

"Aaaaaaaaammmmmmm." He closed his mouth. They could see the light glowing through his skin, stopping halfway down his throat. "Mmmmmmm..."

"Okay, now-"

"MMMMMmmmmaaaa. MaaaaMaaaMoooo. Mow. Myyyy. Mymymy Nowww. Neeee" He sat there, contorting his face and mouth. "Myyyyyy vvvvvvv. Vvvvvoooyyyyce. Myyy Voooice, Iiiii 'avvv- I hhhhaaave a voiiissse, a voiiice..."

Scootaloo shrieked. "Omigosh, Sweetiebelle you're a GENIUS! GUYS! Guys, listen to Flute!"

"We can hear!" Mach said, amazed. "Flute, dude!"

"Way to go, guy!"

"I cann talk, I can talk, I can talk..." Flute sang. His eyes were tearing up and his smile threatened to split his face. Everyone within reach mauled and backslapped him.

"And sing too, apparently," Foster said.

Flute turned back to the mirror. "Thhhhhangk yoou," he sang to Sweetiebelle. "Thangk youu, thangk youuu, thangk youuuu..." Sweetiebelle squeaked and buried her blushing face under her hooves.

"Y'know, that could work for other ponies too," Applebloom said suddenly.

"But not everypony can do magic like that," Scootaloo objected.

"Well no," Applebloom admitted. "But if you made a li'l speaker, lahk MC-Pon3 uses... only real small... an' held it up to yer throat... hmm... maybe on a li'l strap around th' neck?" Eyes going unfocused, she grabbed a notepad and a pencil off a nightstand and started scribbling.

"Oh isn't this wonderful?" Fluttershy said happily. "It's just so... oh... just so YAY." She clapped her hooves in glee.

"Indeed, darlings," Rarity said, pleased. She petted Sweetiebelle's back as her little sister continued to try and disappear under her own forehooves. "Miracles great and small seem to be popping up all over today..."

"Wait'll your Mom and Dad see this, Flute," Fledge said. "Or, well, hear it."

"Where are all your parents, any way?" Prince Ajax interjected. He was standing back and just enjoying the spectacle. He'd known Equestria was an unusual place, but now he was thinking that extraordinary was a far better word for it.

"The parents of this lot are down in the guest cabins, still asleep last I checked," Harshwhinny said. "With luck they'll be awake soon..."

Crackerjack snorted. "This early in the morning? On a weekend? You couldn't get my old man out of bed without dynamite," he said.

"Yeah," Spritz said. "After a night like last night, we'll be lucky to see them before the crack of noon." The others guffawed in agreement.

"It does seem we all have long days ahead of us," Celestia said. "I had best be going. Best of luck, my little ponies." Her mirror winked out.

"Gracious yes," Rarity said. "There's still work to do, now that wretch Malifec is gone. They're debating about what to do with the ruins of Port Malfou... it seems Sweetiebelle's little warrior-garden has been growing like crazy. We may have to negotiate a peace treaty with the sunflowers... ta, everypony."

"Bye!" Sweetiebelle chirped. She waved just as their mirror blinked out.

"Ugh, and they want me to oversee the cleanup of the Glass Palace," Applejack said. "Maker knows what they expect me to do other'n stand there saying 'be sure an' sweep all the bits up.' "She rolled her eyes. "later, y'all." And she too vanished from her mirror.

"Oh dear, and I have to get back to the Jamboree," Fluttershy said. "And there's still a bit of cleanup left to do after the squirrel incident... Goodbye everypony." Her reflection winked out.

"...Squirrel... Incident?" Mach said.

"Don't ask, and you won't regret knowing," Dash assured him.

"And I have been on this compact WAY too long," Twilight said. "Spike and Flash are probably going spare wondering what the holdup is. Oh, I have your mailing address, Presto, so Sunburst should be contacting you soon..." everypony heard knocking. "Oops, time's up, gottagobye!" Her mirror went dark, then showed only a reflection of the room.

"And what about you, Pinkie Pie? Gonna be helping Rarity? You're both in Neigh Orleans right now, right?"

"Oh abso-rootely tootely, Dashie!" Pinkie said. "But I also gotta plan out the big 'Cutie Mark Crusaders Reuniascensciocutecenara!' "

"A wha?"

"It's a big party for when we all get back together," Pinkie said. "A cuteceneara for everypony who got a cutie mark, an ascensioneara for everypony who became an alicorn, and a big reunion party for all of us! Ooo, and a 'first flight' party for Scootaloo- though wouldn't that be for everypony since everypony who got wings had a first flight too?" she pondered briefly. "Oh who cares, more party!"

"Uh, Pinkie, I think we're all going to be having smaller parties separately for..." she stopped herself in the face of Pinkie's cheerful lack of comprehension. It was really unlikely that Rainbow Dash would ever be able to impress on the Party Pony the idea of having less party for any reason. "You know what, Pinkie? You go do your thing. The rest of us will just... um, yeah."

"Roger Wilco, Dashie! Catch ya later!" And Pinkie vanished with a pop.

"And our long day is just beginning too," Dash said to Scootaloo and Mach One. "The rest of you? Feel free to stay here, hang out on the ship with your parents. The three of us, we got the Lee Valley cleanup to oversee, and some royal foofaraw around town to take care of. Yeah, you too, hotshot," she said to Mach. "Welcome to the joys of royal princehood.

"But first, we got a stop down at the Courthouse..."

---

In many societies it has become standard practice to bring notorious criminals to court as quickly and covertly as possible, bringing them from the prison cell to the courthouse by swift vehicles and then hustling them past a gauntlet of press photographers to the front door- exposing them to public scrutiny for as briefly as possible. This approach has yet to entirely catch on in Equestria.

Princess Celestia and Luna had been long of the mind that those who brought violence, misery and destruction on their communities should be exposed to the eyes of the community, and most municipalities were in agreement with that. In the case of Windy City, it was traditional that those who had committed high and terrible crimes were marched, in manacles and on hoof, from their holding cell in the jail at the foot of Kessel Road, all the way up that winding path to City Peak where the courthouse awaited them.

The two terrorists who had been caught in the Thunderdome were given the full treatment. They were clapped in manacles, and with scowling Watchponies before and behind them, were trudged past crowds of onlookers on the long slow path up Kessel Run Road. They tramped on, heads low, enduring the flash of cameras and shouted epithets as angry citizens jeered or cursed them. The first few blocks, they shouted crownbreaker slogans back, intermingled with their own curses and insults. By the halfway point they were both too tired to spare the breath.

When they arrived at the steps to the Courthouse, their weariness was quickly washed out with adrenaline-pumping dread. Standing at the top of the Courthouse steps waiting for them was Princess Rainbow Dash. She was in her full royal gear, coronet, peytral, and shoes. She was flanked on either side by six uniformed Wonderbolts, who were in turn flanked by armed Royal Guardponies whose armor gleamed in the sun. Everything about her appearance and stance told them that this trial was going to be very public, very official, very by-the-book and so very not in their favor. Standing next to her group was Prince Ajax, who was himself flanked by four armed and armored gryphons, all of whom were very unsubtly doing their best to look like angry alpha predators.

Dash was not a subtle pony. She was outwardly angry, which meant she was inwardly seething. She descended the steps and faced the two manacled ponies. For the second time she felt the aura emanating from them—She had felt it when they had been skulking past her, disguised as maintenance workers. If she had only known before what it was. She might have caught them before it was too late to stop them. It was an aura that left her feeling chilled, and faintly nauseous, an invisible cloud that started out faint grew stronger and more unpleasant as she grew closer. It was the aura of betrayal.

Her nostrils flared at the reek of it. The two illusionary scents clashed, like rotten flowers clashing with burnt meat- she knew there was no loyalty between them, that given a moment's chance each would squeal on the other to save their own skins. All the better for the investigators, Dash thought. They'd both squeal like pigs caught in a fence.

She pulled out the parchment Harshwhinny had given her and began reading. "Poindexter Heraldry," she said to the cowering orange stallion. "Magic Fruit." The green, dreadlocked mare cringed under her glare. "You were caught, red-hoofed, committing an act of sabotage and wanton destruction. You destroyed millions of bits' worth of property, and endangered tens of thousands of lives, in an attempt to harm one of the Crown Princesses. You have been charged with destruction of public property, destruction of private property, attempted mass murder, treason, and attempted regicide." She stepped back and let Prince Ajax step forward. He pulled out his own scroll.

"Poindexter Heraldry. Magic Fruit. By treaty of extradition between the throne of Equestria and the crown of the Griffon Empire, once a verdict has been reached by the courts of your kingdom, you will be extradited to Griffonstan in the Griffon Empire, where you will stand trial before the King for the attempted murder of the representatives, emissaries and soldiers of the Empire, and for the crime of attempted regicide against the Crown Prince. Any verdict against you there will stand alone, and you will serve any sentence consecutively with the one you are given in your homeland." He rolled up the scroll and stepped back. Dash gave both of them a glare.

"In other words," she said. "You two morons are going to be interrogated, put on trial, and then you're going to be dumped in the deepest, darkest hole that either the Equestrian or Griffon courts can find. We might cut you some slack if you cough up whoever put you up to this- so I'd be really ready to squeal, if I were you two." She looked from one to the other. "Do either of you two idiots have anything to say to the public before we haul you inside?"

Poindexter was on the point of blubbering. But he spun around and shouted to the crowds. "You don't understand!" he screamed, his voice cracking. "We had to do it! We had to do something to stop them!"

One of the reporters crowding the steps behind the line of Watchponies spoke up. "Stop who from doing what?"

"The princesses, you idiots!" Magic fruit shrieked at him. "Haven't you seen how their numbers are growing? How their power is growing? Don't you know what they have planned for us? Don't you see what they are going to do to us? They're going to change Equestria beyond recognition. They're going destroy our way of life if we don't stop them!"

Dash felt her temper blaze up. She flared her wings and magically amplified her voice. "YES. WE'RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!" she said. Everypony, even the two convicts, fell into silence as her voice bounced off the stone walls of the buildings around them. "We're trying to change things and make them BETTER. Some of the changes will be good, and some of them will be bad. And we'll probably make a few mistakes. But we'll try to fix them- we'll try to get rid of the bad, and to save the good."

"BUT CHANGE HAPPENS. There's always gonna be new things, and the way our lives are lived will be different tomorrow from the way they were yesterday. That's the way it's always been!" She scowled. "And if saving your 'way of life' takes killing a stadium full of innocent ponies, then it isn't worth saving anyway."

"Take them away." The two saboteurs were frog-marched into the courthouse to the cheers and applause of the people of windy city.

---

It was unusually quiet in the Mayor's office. Fussbudget sat behind his desk, lamps unlit, desk uncluttered, a decanter full of cider at his elbow and a glass full in his hoof, staring at nothing. After the debacle of the Thunderdrome Collapse, and the subsequent revelation of who had been responsible, he had gone to his office, locked himself in, and contemplated his life.

It wouldn't be fair to say his life had completely unraveled in just a few days, he thought. After hours of sitting alone, sipping hardened cider, he'd come to acknowledge that the thread in that particular sweater had worked its way loose a long time ago. It was just that this week the last few bits had given way and now he was fully aware that he was sitting in a metaphorical pile of unraveled yarn...

"Hey, Uncle. How's it hangin'?"

Fussbudget looked up. Standing in front of his desk, smirking at him, was his insufferable nephew. Who, of course, was now sporting a unicorn's horn as well as feathers. "So you're an alicorn now." he sighed. "That last little bit seems just about right." He ought to feel more surprised, he thought. Infuriated. Outraged. Flabbergasted, even. But somehow he wasn't even surprised. He supposed he was all out of emotion at this point. He glanced over at the door; he was sure he'd locked it... "You had a key," he said. "Of course."

Mach One levitated the decanter and a clean glass over to himself. "Nope. But a sliding bolt's easy with telekinesis," he said. He poured himself a glass of cider and knocked it back.

"So what brings you by my office, Your Highness?" Fussbudget said sarcastically. "Come to watch my final ruin? Maybe hoping to see me end it all- figure I'd do a dead-canary dive headfirst off the mountainside?"

"No," said Mach. "You pretty much did that the day you got into politics."

"Har de har."

"-No, I got other issues." Mach's face hardened. "I wanna know your connection to the Crownbreakers."

To Mach's surprise, Fussbudget looked amused. "Is that it?" he said contemptuously. "You figure that you'd solve the mysterious conspiracy, trace it back to me- wrap me up, stick a ribbon on my nose and turn me over the the Princesses? 'It was the Mayor all along,' wouldn't that make it all nice and tidy?" He emptied his glass. "Sorry to disappoint you, Nephew. I have nothing to do with the Crownbreakers, whoever they are."

"Don't give me that load of crap, Unc," Mach sneered. The decanter cracked in his magical grip. "This has your stink all over it. You were all over the place providing cover for them. You tried to pin that terror manifesto from the Crownbreakers on me and my gang. One of the terrorists I caught planting bombs in the Thunderdome was your personal assistant." The decanter shattered, jagged shards and droplets of overpriced cider scattering all over the carpet. "Tell me, Unc- how big a donation did they make to your "election campaign," huh? How much did they pay you to frame us? How much did they pay you to help them try to murder me and my friends last night?"

"I had nothing to do with them!"

"Poindexter Heraldry worked right in your office!"

"He was an INTERN!" Fussbudget shouted. He panted, catching his breath. "He was an intern from the Academy. Just another temporary face around the office, I barely could remember his name half the time..." he realized he was standing and he sat back down. He pulled another decanter out of his liquor cabinet, this one of something a bit stronger, poured a glass and downed it. "All I knew about him is that he fetched my coffee and sorted my papers. I knew he was in a couple of those student protest groups but so are eighty percent of the trust-fund idiots attending there. Just like you and everypony else, I thought the Crownbreakers were just another bunch of rhetoric-spewing student blowhards. Hell, I saw that stupid logo on that letter and thought for sure they were just more pains in my flank like you." He shook his head. "You know how much time I spent trying to figure out how you hoodlums got that manifesto into the locked drawer on my desk? All along it was Poindexter... I'd given him a key..."

He looked up at Mach. He looked old and worn. "I know you can't stand me, boy," he said. "But do you really think I would work with a bunch of terrorists?"

Mach One stared at him for a minute. "Why not?" he said finally. "Unc, I watched you. For years. You're a control freak. You want to control what everypony eats, what they drink, how they dress, what they read and write and say... and you made deals with every Devil in Windy City to be Mayor so you could do it. So what would it matter to you to deal with one Devil more?"

Fussbudget got to his feet, angry. "I did what I did for the good of Windy City-"

Mach sneered. "Oh bull. You did it for YOUR own good. You did it for the power. You spent every election cycle playing the Buttclown, schmoozing to every moonbat in Windy City, just so you could have another two years of being a tin-pot tyrant.

"And worst of all, you were an idiot at it. You were petty. You choked people to death with your petty laws, gave free rein to lunatics, and had the City Watch crusading against jumbo sodas and kids on skateboards while terrorists were practically holding meetings in your office.

"And now here you are." Mach pointed his chin around the room. "It's over, Uncle Fussbudget. You finally screwed up too big for you to hide it. By tomorrow every pony in Windy City...every pony in Equestria... is going to know you had the leader of a radical terrorist group working right in your office, right under your nose. And that YOU were in charge when they destroyed the Thunderdome and nearly killed tens of thousands of innocents.

"And you know what? I'm an alicorn prince now. I'm going to be around, doing everything I can to make sure nopony ever forgets it."

"Enjoy your last days in office." Fussbudget didn't look up. He heard the door open, and then slam, and the sound of his nephew's hooves on the tile floor as he walked way.

---

The Staff and Board of Directors of the Alicorn Academy never saw this coming. One day things were going much as they had the day before, with genteel intellectuals such as themselves doing genteel intellectual things. Then that great ruddy huge cloud stadium had exploded, or melted, or some such rot, and two of their students had been right in the middle of it.

And now they were all together in one of the larger lecture halls- Professors, Directors, the whole administrative staff, even the Dean. It seemed one of the new Princesses had some issues with the administration of one of the oldest institutions of higher education in Equestria. And to the shock and outrage of the entire staff, this uncultured, uneducated royal upstart was putting her hoof in!

The looks of shock and sour disdain on their faces would have made an epic historical painting.

Dash took the stage. Ignoring the podium, she pulled the microphone out of its stand , held it in one hoof and stood at the front of the stage. "Hey, everypony," she said. "Glad you're all here. Now, I called you all here together because there are going to be some changes, and I wanted everypony on staff in this university to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. So thank you for coming. And if anypony's not here- tough nuts to them, they can find out later." A few scowls in the peanut gallery deepened. She failed to quit smirking.

"Now you all know who I am, and I know you know, and I know you know that I'm not the Egghead princess. In fact I've never even been to college. So you're all thinking I might as well be talking out of my butt when I start talking about problems your college has. And that how you run this place is none of my business. " Her smile dropped. "Well, guess what. I'm a Princess of Equestria, and your college gets funding from the throne. Which makes it my business. And I don't need to be an engineer to know a TRAIN WRECK when I see it.

"I don't even have to look hard to find places you're screwed up. I just have to read your brochure, or take a tour of your campus.

"You're supposed to be a school, and you've got classes here sucking up money that nopony with the brains of a turnip would pay for out of their own pocket.

"You're supposed to be this place where ponies think and debate and argue about stuff, and you've got campus speech codes where you punish students for saying this, that or the other- and they change every week.

"You're supposed to be preparing your students to go out and be part of the world and you've got 'safe spaces' where they can go run and hide whenever somepony hurts their feelings and draw in coloring books till the sad feewings go away." her scorn at this could have blistered paint.

"Your professors are supposed to be TEACHING. Your math professors are supposed to teach math, your science teachers are supposed to teach science. Instead you've got tutti-frutti fruitcakes with axes to grind teaching classes, who give their students grades based on how well they agree with whatever fruitcake issues the professor has! You've even got students going on moonbat protest marches for extra class credit!

"And you're supposed to be spending all the bits we send you on making this school a better place and giving these kids a quality education. Instead you squeeze us, you squeeze the students- I've seen the campus bookstore, shut up, you thieves- then you take that money and flush it right down the crapper.

"You've made this school a joke. Everypony in Windy City knows that Alicorn Academy is nothing but an idiot factory. A, a breeding ground for morons, moonbats and radicals... the kind of radicals, like the ones FROM YOUR SCHOOL, who blew up the Thunderdome last night and nearly dropped a super-tornado right on your city." That got some murmured shock out of the audience.

"Guess what." She gave them a smile that was rarely seen by anyone other than a marine biologist, and only then with a fin atop it. "We- meaning Princess Celestia, Luna, and the rest of us- have decided that there are going to be some changes."

"Well, really, one change. It has to do with the money you get from us." The crowd stirred at this. "Oh, we're not cutting you off- baby and bathwater, and all that. And we're not gonna come in and have a Princess sitting on your staff, dictating how the money is spent or some junk like that. Actually, this is gonna be real simple. From now on, instead of getting grants or loans or subsidies or... well, whatever all else they call it when a college gets money from the government... we're doing matching donations." she paused to let them mutter the obvious question.

"That means that from now on, the Crown will match, bit for bit, the donations you receive from private donors. Alumni, private companies, fundraisers, whatever. You raise ten million bits, you get ten million more bits from the crown. You don't raise diddly, you don't get diddly.

"And it's line item. That means if you get a donation for your science department, the crown will give you a matching donation for the science department. If you get a donation for scholarships, you get a matching donation for scholarships. Hey, you even get a private donation for mare's studies or underwater basket weaving, we'll match it. But it better be spent on that, and nothing else. You don't get to take money meant for the arts classes and spend it on your hoofball field. And we WILL be checking the receipts."

Dash's evil smirk never wavered. "Now lemme give you some info. Maybe your accountants have noticed, but donations from your alumni have been in the tank for years. We talked to a bunch of them. It seems that a lot of them really don't approve of the tutti-frutti policies you guys have been passing lately, and they've stopped donating. Of course you've been relying on funds from the Crown to make up the difference... but that just changed, dinnit?

"If I were you, I'd start listening when they start complaining about how you're screwing up their old alma mater. If I were you, I'd start changing a few things. Or maybe you better get used to doing without your whiskey, fancy cigars and cushy offices, your padded-out retirement funds or any of the other little goodies you've been enjoying.

"LLLLLater." That said, she dropped the microphone, walked off the stage and out the door.

---

*You silly pretentious humans. Do you really think yours is the only Chef Boy-ar-dee in the universe? (Bonus: IRL, Boy-ar-dee was a blue ribbon italian chef, whose marinara was so popular people would pay extra for a little jar to take home... and thus an empire was born. He was quality control till the day he died, too, so the current lamentable state of canned ravioli is not his fault, and probably makes him weep in heaven.)

Yes, SOY. Not to say there wouldn't be a huge market for burgers made of hay in Equestria- were it actually possible to make a sandwich patty out of straw. But not every customer in Windy City was a herbivore, after all, and making food that only some of your customers could actually eat was poor business. Fortunately both gryphons and ponies could eat soybean products, and thus a new era of interspecies understanding dawned thanks to the proliferation of tasty meat-like, vegetarian food products. Certain shameless franchises of course weren't above appealing to species snobbery by going the other direction and selling "hayburgers" that were almost entirely soy and laced with shredded wheat hay substitute... much as a certain human-world franchise which shall go unnamed is perfectly willing to make a meat product patty out of pig tripe, heart, and scalded stomach, press it into a deceptively shaped patty and sell it as a "McRib.

Why so many young and attractive females? Well, seeing as the store was right in the shadow of an enormous academy with a large population of student bachelors, and seeing as the owner of said restaurant was not born yesterday...

It involved rubbing alcohol and a complete disregard for personal safety.

The Hoofer Dam in Equestria is built for one and only one purpose- to provide electricity for Las Neighgas. It's something of a novelty city, really; Las Neighgas is the only Equestrian city to run entirely on the experimental technology 'electricity.' The regular accident reports due to tourists grievously misunderstanding how electricity works... or doesn't... are considered to be both utterly predictable and morbidly hilarious.