The Saga of Spyro - The Quest For Harmony
Chapter 15: Boast Blazers - Part 1
Previous Chapter Next ChapterCHAPTER 7: BOAST BLAZERS - PART 1: THE GRUMPY AND PARTY-HATING TRIXIE
"Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie!"
And for once in his life, Spyro was at a genuine loss for words.
When Ponyville started the day to find numerous posters of a magic act coming to town plastered everywhere, the dragon wasn't sure what to make of it; in a world where magic was common place and used for everyday tasks, how could one impress anybody with it? Maybe a unicorn preforming to a town of earth ponies (which Ponyville originally was), but that sounded rather exploitative in his opinion. Or perhaps it was one of those trickster magicians; ones who used simple tricks of the eyes to give off the illusion of magical ability? Those were fun, genuinely entertaining and leaving real wizards scratching their heads trying to figure out simple games on the mind.
"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the greatest feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" The blue unicorn with a mane and tail that reminded Spyro of toothpaste of all things declared to the world, standing on her hind legs as fanfare blared and fireworks exploded about the stage, which miraculously didn't catch on fire.
But now, seeing this stage performer with his own eyes, he was completely unsure what to make of it.
Everyone had their own style, he supposed, but this felt like it was a bit much; the sheer stench of self-idolization smacked his sinuses like a slap to the face, no doubt all in the name of supporting a fragile ego...but if this mare could deliver as she promised, then he was ready to see the show.
Evidently, though, none of his pony friends saw it the same way, for no sooner did the fanfare die down did the criticisms come flowing. "My my my...what boasting!" Rarity commented, frowning in disapproval.
"Yeah," Spike added as he stood next to her. "Nopony's as magical as Twi-!" He suddenly stopped, realizing just who he was talking to. "Twi…oh, uh…h-hey, Rarity…I-uh…mustache!" He finally shouted, speeding off while Rarity looked on in confusion.
"There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?" Twilight asked.
"Nuthin' at all," Applejack responded, giving Trixie a frown of her own. "'Cept when you're showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons."
"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us." Rarity told her fellow unicorn, causing her to look away in shame. Spyro groaned when he saw the light die in her eyes; there goes another evening of peace having to deal with what he had quickly come to dub as 'Pony BS'.
Rainbow Dash puffed up with pride. "Especially when you got me around bein' better than-!"
"Hey, down in front! Shut your traps!" Zoe shouted from directly behind the pegasus, making her cut her off with a jump and surprised whinny.
"Yeah, we're trying to watch the show here!" Hunter added, giving a scalding glare to the ponies who had spoken.
Trixie, who had caught on to their conversation. "Well well well..." she said haughtily. "It seems we have some neeeeeiggh-sayers in the audience!"
"Hey, we actually want to watch your performance." Elora spoke up with a raised hand. "And not once have we said anything against you, so don't clump us non-ponies with these buttholes." This earned looks of disbelief from the three hecklers, and more than a few giggles from the audience.
"And Trixie appreciates your acknowledgement of her superiority, Miss..." She suddenly blanched, looking Elora over with a puzzled look. "...uhmm...Miss goat-monkey thing?" She shook her head to clear her confusion, ignoring the indignant gape the faun was giving her. "But none the less, The Great and Powerful Trrrrrrixie's magical ability has been challenged, and she must face it! Do these ruffians not know that they are in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?!"
Rarity scoffed. "Just who does she think she is?" She asked.
"Yeah!" Spike interrupted. "Since we all know Twilight is the-!"
A rock beaned the baby dragon in the back of the head, making him shout 'OW!' as a certain fairy causally tossed another up and down like a baseball. "That was just a warning!" She exclaimed sternly. "If you don't like the show, then leave it for those who do!"
Rarity gave the Dragon Worlders a disbelieving stare. "How can you all support her like this?!" She asked in a scolding tone. "Have you been hearing all the arrogance she's been spouting?! She absolutely unbearable!"
"She's more puffed up than a rooster in matin' season!" Applejack agreed.
"A complete showoff!" Rainbow Dash (ironically) snapped.
"Trixie can hear you all, you know..." Trixie grumbled aloud.
"Yeah, and she's a stage performer." Hunter stated, arms folded across his chest. "I'm pretty sure being a puffed-up braggart is part of their job. You know, the way of life by which they earn a living?" His eyes narrowed, feline pupils narrowing into slits. "And I wouldn't talk about being show-offs if I were any of you, Rarity the Unicorn..." Rarity coughed nervously, looking away with a light blush. "...Pony of the Year..." Applejack grimaced, lowering her hat to cover her face. "...and I don't even have to say anything for you, potential huntress..." Rainbow Dash huffed in embarrassment, pouting like a child.
Twilight felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned just in time to see Elora motion to the three ponies. "This here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what the wise Master Eon refers to as 'Novice Envy', a common occurrence amongst heroes who have just recently earned their titles." She told the lavender pony, though in a way so that everyone around them could hear. "When most rookie heroes become official and receive praise, they have a tendency to get swept up in the attention and praise; to become the center of their own worlds, and view themselves as the greatest things since sliced bread. So, when a new source of interest enters the picture, such as a new rookie, a fancy event, or anything like that they tend to feel threatened, and usually get all offensive toward the newcomer in an attempt to hang onto their previous glory."
"You all know the story: a big brave hero has become the biggest hot shot around, thanks to doing something that made them famous, or at least well known amongst their peers." Zoe continued, pointing to the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. "Hasn't been on the job for very long, though, and thus doesn't have the experience or humility of the more seasoned heroes. So they tend to cling to the attention, making it their everything, and feels like the most special person in the world. But then one day, somebody new shows up and starts stealing all the precious attention, and soon the hero isn't feeling all that special anymore." She pointed to Trixie, who was tapping her hoof impatiently.
"Then the original hero gets all offensive toward the newcomer, usually embarrassing themselves to the public, until eventually trying to prove their original worth by doing something reckless and dangerous." Bianca finished up, waving a paw dismissively. "Thus when it backfires, the event acts as the slap upside the head from reality and they learn a valuable lesson, usually becoming either friends or rivals with the newcomer."
Twilight was impressed, and she found herself nodding in agreement; she had seen that classic trope in many a piece of fiction herself.
"Sounds like you guys speak from experience." Pinkie Pie stated, giving Spyro a questionable look.
The dragon gave the pink pony a defensive glare. "Hey, I was GLAD to see there were other heroes besides myself!" He told them all. "It means other people were handling the smaller stuff and I can take a break every now and then! By the time I joined the Skylanders, I had saved the world SIX TIMES on my own, and only twice during those times did I have actual help!" He jabbed a clawed thumb at a certain beastman. "If you want to find the Novice Envy, there's your cat."
Hunter rubbed the back of his head as if out of embarrassment, though his face was a little too serious-looking to be just that. "It was more out of obligation than petty envy." He admitted solemnly. "Let's just say I felt like I should've been the one to clean up the mess."
"At least you didn't try to outright sabotage my efforts...or get eaten by a mutant rabbit monster in the process." Spyro added admittedly, giving a certain rabbit a playful sneer.
Bianca blushed heavily, pulling her ears up to cover her face with them. "You had to bring that up, didn't you?" She groaned. "I still haven't gotten the smell of monster vomit out of my old cloak."
"What's your guy's point?" Rainbow Dash asked impatiently.
The dragon snorted. "Our point is get off your high horses (so to speak) and let the side-character have her twenty-two minutes of glory." He stated, ignoring the indignant look Trixie was sending him. "You're complaining about her being a show-off, and yet the only ones I see that have a problem with that are you three, who just happen to be Ponyville's resident glory-hogs."
Rarity looked ready to explode. "H-H-H-HOG?!" She shrieked. "How dare you!"
"Do you all mind?! Trixie is trying to perform here!" Trixie shouted over the laughter of the crowd.
"Oh, don't let us stop you. We're just discussing things with our friends here." Hunter told her, waving her off with a dismissive paw. He gave her a questioning look. "Though I feel inclined to ask: under what circumstances did you earn the greatness you boast about?"
Trixie sneered, tipping her hat to the beastman. "I'm glad you asked; because only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to defeat the dreaded Ursa Major!" More fireworks lit up and depicted a scene reminiscent of neon signs of a blue bear-like creature dotted with stars. Several ponies in the audience gasped in shock, while Spyro's eyes narrowed dangerously at the image of the creature. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to. But the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magical abilities, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!"
A deep-rooted heat suddenly swept the area, sending hot shivers running up the spines of everypony in the area, and Trixie suddenly came to realize just what was in the audience as a outright demonic glare pinned her in place under the smoldering hatred of an angry dragon.
"So, you're a Monster Hunter then." Spyro growled, his voice low, yet it rumbled with the fury of an earthquake.
The crowd went perfectly silent. Recovering from her shock of realizing he was a dragon, Trixie quickly objected. "W-What? N-No! I'm n-n-not a M-Monster H-H-Hunter by t-trade!" She stammered, breaking from addressing herself in the third person out of dread. "I-I was just p-passing through H-Hoofington at the t-time and s-stayed to help! And I-I didn't kill i-it either; just s-sent it back t-to the forest! I-I don't intend to s-slay you or your f-friends, I swear!"
Spyro glared at her in silent thought, his eyes overlooking her every feature, until he closed them with a satisfied nod of his head.
"For now..." He growled, giving her one last warning glare before settling back down, the fiery heat cooling back to the day's natural temperature.
Trixie flicked the sweat from her brow with a heavy sigh of relief. "A-Anyway, that's Trixie's claim to her high-set superiority: still doubt Trixie's greatness? Well then, I hereby challenge you Ponyvillians: anything you can do, I can do better!" The magician looked over the audience. "Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived?!" And with that, she stood on her hind legs as more fireworks exploded behind her.
Spike promptly threw himself Twilight's hooves. "Ple-e-ease! She's unbearable! You just gotta show her, Twilight! You just gotta!"
"There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike." Twilight told him in a hushed voice. "Especially since—"
"Alright, that's it!" Applejack suddenly snapped angrily. "Ah can't stand fer no more-a this!"
The cowpony stepped onto the stage, somehow bringing a length of rope out of nowhere and tying one end to her tail. Trixie looked on, unimpressed. "Can yer fancy magic do this?" Applejack said as she began performing some rather impressive lasso tricks. The crowd oohed in amazement as Applejack suddenly threw the loop of the rope towards a nearby apple tree, plucked one of the fruits off the branches, and pulled it back into her mouth all in one movement. The crowd went wild. Applejack swallowed and clicked her hoof against the ground. "Ha! Top that, missy!"
Trixie smirked. "Oh, ye of little talent…" Her hat floated off her head, showing her horn and confirmed that she was a unicorn to the Dragon Worlders. "Watch and be amazed at the magic of Trixie!"
Suddenly one end of Applejack's rope lifted up and started waving in front of Applejack like a serpent, mesmerizing the farm pony. While she was distracted, the other end stretched over to the apple tree and pulled another apple from its branches. Suddenly, before Applejack could blink, the rope wrapped itself around her legs, tied them together, and threw her on her back, with the other end stuffing the apple in her mouth. The crowd laughed as Applejack awkwardly left the stage.
"Once again, the magic of Trixie prevails!"
Rainbow then got in her face. "There's no need to be showing off like that!"
"Oh?"
"That's my job!"
Rainbow then sped off, spinning around a nearby windmill to gain momentum before catapulting into the air, penetrating a row of clouds before stopping in front of the sun for a moment. Then she sped back down through the holes she had made in the clouds, gathering moisture around her body as she reached the windmill and spun on its blades some more before catapulting back onto the stage. She suddenly came to a screeching halt as a rainbow appeared above her. "They don't call me Rainbow and Dash for nuthin'!" she boasted, the audience cheering for her.
Trixie sneered. "When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is loser."
A beam of magic shot out of Trixie's horn and hit the rainbow above Dash, causing it to spin rapidly and trap her in a colorful tornado that began spinning through the air, sending her screaming through the sky for a good while before finally coming to rest on the ground and leaving the cyan Pegasus faceplanted in the dirt eyes spinning dizzily. "Ugh…I think I'm…gonna be sick…"
"It seems anypony with a 'dash' of good sense would think twice before tussling with the great Trixie!" Trixie announced with a flash of her horn. Suddenly, a small storm cloud appeared behind Rainbow and struck her in the flank with a lightning bolt, causing her to cry out in shock. The gathered ponies laughed in amusement.
"What we need is another unicorn to challenge her!" Spike stated, nudging Twilight expectantly. "Someone with some magic of her own."
"Yeah! A unicorn to show THIS unicorn who's boss." Rainbow Dash agreed.
"A real unicorn to unicorn tussle." Applejack added.
"Uh..." Twilight hesitated.
"Oh, for the...WHAT NOW?!" Trixie exclaimed as Elora raised her hand to get her attention. "Trixie is trying to do her job here!"
"Sorry, I just had to ask..." Elora told her, lowering her hand as she spoke. "But, really? Greatest equine who has ever lived? The most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?" She asked disbelievingly. "A bit much for mere stage tricks, don't you think?"
The blue unicorn looked genuinely ticked, her eye twitching slightly. "Oh, really?" She grounded out. "And you know better? Who in all of Equestria could possibly be better than the Great and Powerful Trixie?"
Elora tapped her chin with a overly-sarcastic thinking face. "Hmmmm...well, apart from the Alicorn Princesses, that's obvious..." She began, before giving a fake 'lightbulb moment'. "Starswirl the Bearded comes to mind. You know, the pony famed for the creation of modern magic?"
"STARSWIRL IS AN OVERRATED HACK AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!" Trixie shrieked, a button clearly pushed, her face twisted into a snarl of indignant rage. "THAT DUSTY PILE OF BONES AND CHEAP BEARD CONDITIONER ISN'T FIT TO POLISH TRIXIE'S HORSESHOES!" She trailed off into incoherent snarling, her hooves attempting to strangle the air.
"Well, he must have some worth to his magic, because you've been using spells he invented for your performance." Bianca suddenly spoke up, twirling her own wand in a taunting manner. "I know; as a sorceress myself, I've done my research on this world's magic." The rabbit then frowned in disapproval. "And I can also tell you that all the 'grand feats of magic' you've shown so far are, in fact, the 'basic knowledge' set of spells are unicorns learn in order to pass Magic School. Telekinesis, Light Manipulation, even minor Pegasus Storm Generation: all part of the final exam collection. Very basic stuff."
"...What are you implying?" Trixie asked in a slow, borderline dangerous manner.
There was a silent pause, everyone staring at her with varying faces, until Moneybags suddenly spoke up with a disapproving frown of his own: "You came to Ponyville counting on the idea that the common pony would be impressed by any form of magic, didn't you?"
The unicorn froze, suddenly caught in very uncomfortable headlights, as the audience suddenly took on a dangerous aura of its own, prompting the stage magician to break out into a nervous sweat. "Well...when Trixie looked up this town, it was classified as an...earth pony town." She admitted with a sheepish grin.
"Wow. Racist, much?" Spyro asked.
"As if you're one to talk, dragon!" Trixie snapped indignantly.
The audience began to boo and hiss, raising a fuss against the stage performer, only to be instantly silenced when Spyro raised his own paw with a single "ENOUGH." that boomed through the sky and across the main square. He then stared Trixie straight in the eye, his draconian eyes piercing through her bravo like a sword through paper. "I accept your challenge."
Trixie gulped as the dragon hopped up onto her stage, the wooden floor and support creaking dangerous under his saurian weight. "N-Now hold on! If you're planning to challenge Trixie to a fire-breathing contest, then forget it!" She snapped with surprising bravery. "Trixie's lost enough wagons to dragon flames as it is!"
Spyro cocked his head curiously. "There's all sorts of questions I could ask about that statement." He stated as he sat down in a dog-like position. "But no. I've got something else in mind." He turned his gaze to his rabbit friend. "Bianca...bring it over."
Bianca blinked in confusion for a moment, but then her eyes lit up in recognition...before an exasperated look crossed her face. "Seriously? That's what we're going to do?" She asked. When Spyro continued to simply stare at her expectantly, she gave a sigh and began to cast what Twilight recognized as a minor Portal Spell: with a swirl of her wand, a glimmering hole of golden magic expanded the space before her, opening a tunnel into a black void beyond it. Her face still one of exasperation, the beastwoman continued to swirl her wand as she made a beckoning motion with her other paw, magically reaching into the void and pulling out-
A TV.
The lavender unicorn blinked, cocking her head as the large flat-screen TV floated through the air and set itself on Trixie's stage; a confused murmur swept over the crowd as more items floated out one by one: a black video game console, two classic controllers (one normal sized and another pony-sized one for the dragon's larger hands), and a game case with colorful characters on a board-ese world on the cover.
Trixie blinked in confusion as the smaller controller was floated to her, subconsciously taking it in her magic. "...A video game?" Trixie asked incredulously. "That's your challenge?"
Spyro took the larger controller in his hands, as the TV turned on with a flash of light. "You said it yourself: 'anything we can do, you could do better'." He gave his own controller a playful toss, which was impressive considering it had to be over a hundred pounds. "And I fancy myself quite the master at Mario Party."
Elora huffed, blowing a tuff of hair out of her face as she folded her arms. "Only because you keep winning all the Mini Games and earning the bonus stars." She grumbled with a pout.
"Sore Loser is not a good look for you, fuzzy legs." The dragon stated in a lofty tone as the console's logo tumbled across the screen with a fun-sounding jingle.
"WAIT!" Pinkie Pie launched herself out of the crowd and latched onto Spyro's face, wide blue eyes staring into his surprised golden ones. "There are video games all about partying?!" She outright squealed. "I wanna play I wanna play I wanna play!"
Spyro promptly peeled the pony off his face, tossing her aside with a squeaky-toy sound. "Bring out the other controllers." He told Bianca, who did so with a nod. The dragon looked out over the crowd. "Does anyone else want to be player four?"
"ME!" Hunter shouted quickly, paw raised. "You owe me a rematch from out last competition!"
"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" The stage magician finally snapped, tossing her controller aside. "Trixie's challenge was to prove her magical strength and knowledge, not to indulge the childish games of an inter-species bunch of man-children!" She turned away with a flurry of her cape and began walking away. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is above such nonsense; either give Trixie a talent that lets her use magic, or get off her stage!"
"What kind of stage performer makes such a boastful claim, only to expect the conditions to be weaved in her favor?" Spyro asked, popping open the case and gingerly placing the small CD he plucked from inside into the console as the TV lifted into the air and turned to face the audience, growing in size as it did so. "You gave the challenge to take on anything, and yet you turn down any that that doesn't meet your expectations?" A truly draconian grin spread across his snout. "...truly the sign of a coward, wouldn't you say?"
Trixie froze mid-step, going stiff as stone. "...what was that?"
Spyro's grin widened even further. Hook, Line, and Sinker...
"No, Trixie doesn't want to purchase any orbs! She's lost enough coins already to that stupid red space!"
"Oh come on! I didn't even have a chance to read the instructions! How is Trixie going to win these minigames if she doesn't know how to even play?!"
"Wait! Trixie didn't land on the turtle's space! Why is she being forced to play the minigame?!"
"NOT ENOUGH COINS?! NOT ENOUGH COINS?! IT'S ONLY ONE FREAKING COIN DIFFERENCE!"
"WHY DID IT PUT ME ALL THE WAY BACK AT THE START?! TRIXIE WAS THIS CLOSE TO GETTING THAT DAMN STAR! THIS IS BULLHAY!"
"Place your bets here! Who will triumph in the ultimate party match of the century! Long time reigning champions from the dragon world? Or the newcomer party animals of Equestria?"
"HEY, WHO SAID YOU COULD PLACE BETS ON OUR GAME?!"
"DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT ON M-YOU SON OF A DIAMOND DOG!"
"YOU WANNA DIE, YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD OF A TURTLE! TRIXIE WILL RIP THE SHELL FROM YOUR VERY SPINE AND TURN IT INTO A CHAMBER POT!"
"BONUS STARS?! WHAT KIND OF HOOEY ARE BONUS STARS?!"
"I win again!" Spyro's triumphant roar boomed across the crowd, and he tossed up his controller in victory, as his green dinosaur character did a 1st place victory dance on top of the castle tower; the majority of the crowd (those that had bet on him) gave a great cheer as they collected their winning from Moneybags, while those that hadn't could only mourn their losses as they handed over their bits.
"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" A thoroughly ragged, fuming, and driven-to-the-edge Trixie outright screamed as she threw her controller to the ground in rage, her pink-dressed princess character sagging in defeat in 4th place.
Hunter huffed in annoyance, simply tossing his controller to the side as he watched his character, the tall purple man with a evil moustache, stand in defeat in 3rd place. "Okay, I expected to lose halfway through the match with Spyro's star-count..." He admitted with a feline's growl. "...but how in Avalar did I lose to the pink one?!"
"Because I am the master of the party, no matter what form it takes!" Pinkie announced, nodding in acceptance as her character, the funny man with the big nose and red hat, was listed in 2nd place.
"To be honest, I was certain I was going to lose for a bit back there." Spyro admitted, tail swishing back and forth. "I think I only won thanks to the bonus stars, otherwise Pinkie would've beaten me back there."
"That was a ton of fun!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "We totally gotta play it again!"
"NO!" Trixie shrieked, firing up her horn with an outraged look on her face; Spyro, Hunter, and Pinkie could only catch themselves as they were magically tossed off the stage one by one. "No more parties! No more stars! No more Orbs! And NO! MORE! BOWSER SPACES!" The TV flashed off as the unicorn then outright ripped all the parts and cords out of their sockets and tossed the entire thing after them in one throw; A flash of magic had the same portal from Bianca's wand open up in front of its path, catching it all before it could hit and ground and closing with a clap of air. "You have embarrassed and driven Trixie to madness enough for one day! Take your stupid game and get off of her stage!"
The dragon only snorted as he rolled back right-side up. "Evidently Sore Loser is a popular face brand in this world..." He stated simply, and then shrugged with a smug glare. "...but what do you expect from a Starswirl Copycat?"
That hit the final nail in the coffin, and the toothpaste-ese pony bristled before whirling back on the dragon, mane dis-shelved and eyes dilating. "THAT IS IT! TRIXIE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU OVERGROWN IGUANA!"
She stomped her hoof, cape furling in the wind, and with a dramatic pose she pointed to the dragon and shouted aloud:
"Trixie challenges you to The Starswirl Sorcery Standoff!"
Every unicorn in the audience gasped loudly in wide-eye shock and even horror, hushed whispers and alarmed words spreading through the crowd like wildfire. The color from Twilight's face drained, her eyes wide as the words registered in her brain.
Applejack, along with just about every other earth pony and pegasus in the audience, only looked confused. "What's a 'Starswirl Sorcery Standoff'?" She asked.
"...A-An ancient unicorn custom, dating back to the reign of Princess Platinum." Rarity answered for her and everyone else who was thinking the same question; she was also staring at Trixie in disbelieving horror, her hoof covering her mouth in shock. "It's a spell-casting duel that unicorns partook in to settle disputes or petty rivalries, mainly between noble families to prevent long-standing feuds."
"The two unicorns would meet at a set time and place outside of civilized areas..." Twilight continued, still staring in horror at the unicorn and dragon currently glaring each other down. "...there, each unicorn takes turns casting spells on their opponent in an attempt to defeat them: the match ends when one unicorn surrenders, can no longer stand up, or is magically drained, or is enchanted beyond spell-breaking...or worse. It's considered a sacred tradition between unicorns, and outside interference from anyone else, unicorn or otherwise, is strictly forbidden."
Rainbow Dash blanched. "Yeesh...sounds awesome, but yeah; two unicorns zapping each other until one's no longer moving? No thanks."
"It's dangerous enough on its own, but challenging a dragon of all creatures is outright unheard of...but there are no laws saying you can't, so I guess it's legal." Twilight swallowed nervously, sweat running down her brow. "We can only hope that Spyro's doesn't accept her challenge, and then-."
"I accept your challenge."
"Of course he does..." The lavender pony groaned, slapping her hoof against her forehead.
Trixie grinned with approval. "Excellent." She said with confidence, brushing her hoof against her gemstone. "As the Challenger, I rightfully have choice of combat for the match. And thus, I choose all-class magics ranking anywhere throughout levels 1 through 3. No elemental powers. No physical attacks. And for Faust sakes, no VIDEO GAMES!"
Bianca raised her hand. "And that's good, but don't try to play Spyro's arrogance to your advantage: as the Challenged, Spyro rightfully has choice of time and place of the battle, as well as choice of referee." The rabbit reminded her, earning a tsk from the unicorn. "As I've said, I've done my research."
"Referee?" Fluttershy asked in confusion.
"A third unicorn is chosen to watch over the match as referee and judge, to make sure the two competitors stay within the required rules of the duel." Twilight explained. "As breaking the set rules by using illegal spells can result in disqualification."
Spyro nodded in confirmation himself. "Very well. There's a clearing on the edge of the Everfree to the south-west, outside of Ponyville's borders. We'll hold the duel there at nightfall. Around nine o' clock." He told the blue unicorn...and then turned his gaze to the lavender one. "And I choose Twilight Sparkle to be referee."
Twilight's eyes went wider than dinner plates. "WHAT?! ME?!"
"You're a walking encyclopedia of magic spells straight of out Celestia's Schools for Gifted Unicorns." Spyro told her with a cocked-eyeridge. "One taught directly by Princess Celestia herself. If anyone here knows which spells are legal or not, it's you..." He grinned sneakily. "Or would you rather trust someone else to categorize the list of spells...?"
Twilight stiffened, the word 'categorize' locking in place in her brain. "...that was a cheap shot." She grumbled under her breath. When the dragon continued to stare at her expectantly, she hung her head in defeat. "Fine...I accept the role of referee."
"Then the challenge has been forged." Trixie said, raising her hoof in a grandeur sweep. "Anypony wanting to watch is more than welcome-"
"No."
Trixie blinked at the now-glaring dragon, who spoke in a voice that rumbled like an earthquake. "No one is to seek out this fight for petty entertainment." He announced aloud for everyone to hear. "What you will see tonight will be for your eyes and Twilight's eyes alone, and will change your life forever." The crowed muttered to each other as the Mane Six and Spike glanced worriedly at one another. "Edge of the Everfree. 9:00. Be there."
And with that, Spyro's wings snapped open and he rocketed into the sky, kicking up a flurry of wind and dirt that knocked every one nearby off their hooves.
Night had fallen, and the sound of hoofsteps could be heard in the Everfree Forest...
...but they were not the hoofsteps of the Great and Powerful Trixie.
There were many that would consider ponykind a rather stupid race, or at the very least arrogant to the world. Some say it's because they were a species babied and softened by an overly-protective immortal ruler who had done all she could to keep the darkness of the real world from touching her kingdom and people. Others say it's thanks to being a herbivorous herd species who knew nothing but 'panic and run' when confronted with anything even slightly intimidating. And a few, who are well-read in ancient text, say it was thanks to a mentally-unstable member of the leading race, who used powerful magic to try and warp the world into their image, thus leaving the ponies unable to be anything but arrogant children.
In the end, though, no matter which story is true, it is common knowledge throughout the world of Eqqus that ponykind is not the brightest or mentally strongest species in the universe...
...and even they would shake their heads in shame at the current two colts wondering the most dangerous forest in the dark of night.
Every town had a village idiot. Ponyville had two of them, and they were still only children: Snips and Snails. They must've missed the day Faust handed out the brains to her little ponies, because you couldn't find a dumber pair of idiots, both in looks and in intelligence, or lack there-of in this case. Snails, a tall, lanky colt with a almost giraffe-like appearance, was dumb enough to the point of being retarded, making bricks look sapient by comparison. While Snips, a short, buck-toothed colt with a marshmallow-shaped physic, was just smart enough to cook up ideas that led them into all levels of trouble.
Needless to say, thanks to their combined IQ of negative-five, they were immediately swept up into Trixie's over the top grandeur performance, believing every word she spoke and revering her as a queen amongst peasants. It was Spike, the voice of reason, who managed to chip a fracture in their idolized image of the magician by questioning the proof of her claims of defeating the Ursa Major; he claimed that unless he saw Trixie defeat a Ursa with his own eyes, he wasn't going to believe her claim.
Thus that lit a tiny, withered puff of a spark of an idea in the rusty, cobweb-covered gears of the walnut that passed Snips' brain: to go into the Everfree Forest, find an Ursa Major, and lead it pack to Ponyville for Trixie to fight and prove themselves right.
"How'ja think we'll find da Ursa in dis place?" Snails asked with a dull voice, watching the trees around him with an almost dead expression.
"Well, Trixie said da Ursa lives in deep in da Everfree Forest." Snips said in a voice that wouldn't be out of place on a mouse. "So, we'll just go deep into da Everfree and we'll find it eventually!"
Truly a master plan worthy of the greatest minds in Equestria.
A plan that would receive a rather unexpected interruption.
The darkness of the forest was suddenly lit up with a flash of blue light and the crackle of thunder. Both colts nearly jumped out of their skins, the nearby trees suddenly swaying in forceful winds, as reality itself was torn asunder before their very eyes: with crackling bolts of blue electricity, the air in front of them warped as an orb of shimmering, almost water-like space bloomed out of nothingness. The winds whipped and lightning flashed as the orb grew in size, growing bigger and bigger until it was twice the size of the average pony; deep within the rippling sphere was a window to another plane, one deep in blues and greys...
...which suddenly turned into orange as something large, furry, and lanky suddenly jumped out of the portal, tripping over its large sneakers as it fell to the forest floor with a "WOAH!"
Snips screamed like a little girl.
Snails screamed like a little girl.
The orange humanoid mammal screamed like a little girl.
All three took off in different directions, screaming the entire way. "Hey! Get back here, big brother!" An actual female voiced called after them, but to no avail.
Equestria was about to get crazy.