A Bird in the Hoof

Pony's Log Number 122: If you are going to help any pony with their pet, especially a pet belonging to royalty, make sure to ask for their permission first...

Today's story begins at the beautiful little tree house cottage where Fluttershy was busy helping a little mouse. The poor mouse had injured its hind legs and Fluttershy had just finished wrapping it up in some bandages.

"There you go, Mr. Mousey," said Fluttershy as she pushed his little wheel chair forward with her nose towards its mouse hole where another female mouse and their baby mouse were waiting for him, "Now you stay off that leg and do everything I told you. And it will be just like new in no time." The mouse family gave Fluttershy their squeaks of gratitude as the mouse wheeled himself into his mouse hole.

"Oh, you're welcome," said Fluttershy, "Happy to be able to help." It was just then Angel came hopping by with what appeared to be a stop watch on his hand and a frantic look on his face. He panted a bit before squeaking at Fluttershy to get her attention.

"You...you found a watch?" said Fluttershy as Angel pointed at the time with his paw and then moves his fore-paws to imitate clock hands, "You...wanna be a watch?" Angel then runs in place.

"You're running! Running out of time? No. You're...late?" Fluttershy tried to guess when Angel pointed at the clock outside just as it chimed four o'clock. The yellow Pegasus looked a bit blank and gasped.

"I'm late for a very important date!" said Fluttershy as Angel exhales in exhaustion and plops on his back. Fluttershy began to pace about nervously, "the big brunch for Princess Celestia at Sugarcube Corner. Oh, the princess is here in Ponyville for a party, and we all promised we'd be there. But I'm not there! Oh, do I look alright?" She looked at herself in the mirror before moving back to where she was before, "Do I need to bring anything?" and then shuffled through her closet, "Maybe I shouldn't go." Fluttershy sat on the floor and curled up insecurely before she heard the sound of the royal trumpet in the distance. Angel gestured for her to get going.

"Aah! It's starting!" said Fluttershy, "I'm missing it!" Fluttershy took off for the front door as Angel breathed a sigh of relief and started to walk away when Fluttershy returned.

"Oh, thanks, Angel," Fluttershy told him. Then she took off...and then came back again, "I mean, if you hadn't reminded me, I might not have remembered, and then I wouldn't be there, and everypony would be wondering where I was..." Angel glared and began to angrily stomp his foot on her fore-hoof.

"Oh, right, I'm late," said Fluttershy and ran out of the door once more. This time, Angel shut it closed and locked the door. It wasn't but a few seconds later when the door rattled and Angel just leaned against the door.

"Oh, okay then," said Fluttershy from behind it, "See you later." Angel just wiped his brow as Fluttershy finally started heading towards Sugarcube Corner.

(Theme Song)

Outside Sugarcube Corner, two royal pony guards were standing guard when Rainbow peeked out from the opened front door.

"So...what do I have to do to get to be one of the Princess's royal guards, anyway?" Rainbow asked them as she flew out of the shop and hovered before the two guards, "Is the pay good? Hellooo? Anypony home?" The guards didn't answer as Rainbow began to make funny faces.

"Wah-wah!" Rainbow babbled as she tries to few times to make them smile, but their faces were as stone serious as ever, "Ooh, you're good." She paused briefly. "Too good. I'm bored." With that, she flew back inside just as Fluttershy arrived at the entrance.

"Phew. Made it," said Fluttershy as she made her way towards the door when the two guards held up one of their wings to block the door, making Fluttershy gasp.

"Halt!" said one guard.

"Who goes there?" said the other guard. Fluttershy gulped.

"No one. Never Mind, I'll just go home," said Fluttershy sadly before turning to leave with her head low. To her good luck, that was when Twilight and Pinkie walked by and the former caught site of her.

"It's alright, sirs," said Twilight, "She's on the list." Fluttershy lifted up her head to look back and smiled. She was soon inside the shop where the brunch was being held.

"Thanks Twilight," said Fluttershy as she and Twilight walked together.

"I'm so glad you could make it, Fluttershy," said Twilight, "It wouldn't be the same without you." Meanwhile, Spike was using his fire breath to help cook up various pies in the kitchen as Mr. Cake brought them out into the main room.

"How's everypony doing?" he asked cheerfully, "Good? Good." He then went to serving the other guests when Mrs. Cake approached Princess Celestia. She suddenly gasped when she saw Mario sitting beside her, resting his head contently on her right side. She immediately pulled him off and away from the Princess.

"Hey! Ow!" he exclaimed as Mrs. Cake roughly dragged him off by the ear.

"Mario, I'm surprised at you!" Mrs. Cake scolded, "Getting all up close to the princess like that. And you are supposed to be a well-manner gentlecolt!" Mario was left speechless and rather hurt.

"It's alright Mrs. Cake," said Princess Celestia, "Mario is my son." Mrs. Cake nearly dropped the goods on her head in shock.

"You're...you're...her s-s-s-son?" Mrs. Cake stuttered.

"Well, not her real son," Mario explained, "She found me abandoned as a foal and took me in. She raised me like a son. I don't see her too often so...what son doesn't want to cuddle his mother?" Mrs. Cake was still speechless before a sad look appeared on her face. Mario was worried.

"Mrs. Cake?" he asked worried as she shook her head a bit.

"Oh...nothing dearie, my apologies," said Mrs. Cake before walking away. But Mario was rather puzzled as she stood before Princess Celestia.

"Anything else we can get for you, dearies...?" Mrs. Cake's eyes popped out as she corrected herself, "Ooh, I mean esteemed guests." She and her husband knelt before her while keeping their plated treats on their heads. Twilight and Fluttershy continued walking and having their own conversation about what the latter was late to the brunch.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to finish taking care of a patient first," Fluttershy explained.

"Oh, you and your tender loving care of little animals," said Twilight, "I know Princess Celestia is going to love that about you. I mean, I hope she will...I mean, of course she will." Twilight began to sweat and chuckled a bit nervously as Fluttershy smiled.

"Wow, Twilight," said Fluttershy, "I thought I was the only one who got nervous at social gatherings."

"Oh, it's not that," said Twilight, "I just want to princess to approve of my friends. Well...Mario and I's friends."

"But she's met us all before," said Fluttershy.

"And read about you in my letters," Twilight added, "But this is the first time she's spent any real time with you. And I want everypony to make a good impression."

"Well, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about," said Fluttershy, "Besides, it's just a casual get together, right?"

"Don't touch me!" Rarity shouted, wearing her gala dress to the event and afraid for dear life of getting it dirty as a random pony walked by, "Watch the dress! Careful, you're gonna spill that on me!" She then noticed a plate of cupcakes.

"Oh, oh, that looks delicious," said Rarity as she was about to take one and then leaned away, "What is it? Oh, does it stain?! Keep it away from me!" Fluttershy and Twilight just watched as Rarity leaned away from the plate of cupcakes and began to tremble fearfully.

"Or...perhaps not that casual," said Fluttershy. They then noticed Applejack, stenson hat removed, napkin tied around her neck, was sitting before a table loaded with various foods. The big issue was that the orange pony wasn't eating.

"Uh...which is the salad and which is the appetizer again?," she asked, not having any full knowledge or had bothered even asking about how to eat a multi-course meal. Plus she wanted to show that she had come mannerisms to the Princess, "And which am I supposed to each first?" Applejack looked intensely at the food before slumping in defeat.

"Never mind," said Applejack, "I'm not hungry." Twilight looked rather worried.

"It's okay, Twilight," said Fluttershy, "So our friends' manners are not perfect. I doubt the princess will even notice."

"Woo-hoo!" Pinkie shouted as she bounced around the area, "Cupcakes, candies and pies, oh my!"She then spotted a chocolate fountain nearby.

"Chocolatey fountain goodness," said Pinkie as she stuck her entire head into the chocolate. When she pulled it out, her head shell hardened instantly before cracking and allowing Pinkie to munch it down. She then popped up next the left side of Princess Celestia.

"You gonna eat that?!" Pinkie asked before dive bombing the food before the Princess and munched away.

"GASP!" Mrs. Cake exclaimed before she roughly pulled Pinkie off the table by the tail.

"Hey!" Pinkie exclaimed as she was removed off the table.

"A thousand pardons, Your Majesty," said Mr. Cake as he replaced the spilt tea cup and cupcake Pinkie had devoured.

"That's quite all right, thank you," said Princess Celestia.

"Sorry about Pinkie, Mom," said Mario, "She means well, but sometimes she can act like a puppy in serious need of a trainer."

"Don't you know it," said Pinkie as she randomly appeared next to Mario, startling him. Mario just glared.

"So...have you told your Mom about us?" Pinkie asked eagerly. Celestia watched quietly.

"I told her you're one of my best friends," said Mario, "and that we bake sometimes."

"No, no, silly," said Pinkie, "Did you tell her that you are my sweet babboo?"

"I'm not your sweet babboo!" Mario snapped, but then his face began to turn a shade of dark pink when he realized something he hadn't noticed before.

"Then why are we holding hooves under the table," Pinkie asked slyly.

"GAAAAHH!" Mario yelped in disgust and embarrassment as he ran off on his hind legs and fore-hooves in the air. Pinkie walked over to the other side of Celestia.

"Isn't he the cutest thing?" Pinkie asked before bouncing after him, "La la-la, la-la, la-la..." Princess Celestia just giggled before drinking her tea cup empty.

"Empty tea cup at 4 o'clock!" Mrs. Cake shouted.

"Uh, I see it, honey bun!" Mr. Cake called out as he quickly refilled her tea cup.

"Oh, um...thank you," said Princess Celestia, taken aback by the fast service.

"Not at all, Your Highness," said Mr. Cake. Celestia took another sip and immediately after she lowered the tea cup, it was refilled again.

"Thank you again," said Princess Celestia.

"Oh, but of course, Your Majesty," Mr. Cake replied. This happened two more times before Celestia then raised her cup, made a sipping noise and Mr. Cake ended up overfilling the tea cup.

"Gotcha!" said Princess Celestia as the two Cake ponies just smiled sheepishly. Nearby Twilight had brought Fluttershy to the table.

"Oh..." Twilight hesitated before the Princess saw her and Fluttershy.

"And what about you, dear? Fluttershy, is it?" Princess Celestia asked the yellow pony.

"Me?" Fluttershy asked timidly but also bravely, "Oh, yes, Your Highness."

"I understand from Twilight Sparkle and Mario Star's letters that you enjoy tending to the needs of woodland creatures," Princess Celestia pointed out.

"Yes, I love to take care of animals," said Fluttershy, feeling more comfortable talking to Princess Celestia since the topic was something she was proud of.

"As do I," Princess Celestia answered, "As Princess, I care deeply about all creatures, great and small..."

It was then some coughing was heard.

"...Nothing means more to me than the well-being of all my subjects..."

The coughing and hacking grew louder as a pudgy featherless looking bird came out of its secluded spot in a bird cage and sat on the perch.

"Ah, Philomena, my pet," said Princess Celestia, "You're awake. Do say hello to our gracious hosts." Philomena just coughs and hacks in response and Fluttershy gasps at the sight.

"Oh...my," said Fluttershy with concern.

"She is quite the sight, isn't she?" said Princess Celestia.

"I...I...I've never seen anything like it," was all Fluttershy could say about the bird as Philomena coughed again. It was just then a royal guard appeared and started to whisper into the Princess's ear.

"Really? Well, if I must..." said Princess Celestia as she stood up from the table, "I'm sorry, everyone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut the party short..." Twilight nearly did a spit take of her tea but managed to catch herself, "...The mayor has requested an audience with me. Royal duty calls. Thank you for a wonderful time. It's been a joy getting to know you all better." With that, Princess Celestia made her leave as the other ponies watched. Once she was out Applejack released her breath.

"Phew! Now I can eat someth'n! I'm starved!" said Applejack just as Mr. Cake collected all the treats on the table by pulling up the table cloth, leaving the orange pony empty handed, "oh..." Pinkie was just whooping and giggling happily to herself as Mario came out of the kitchen with a long face.

"What's your deal?" Twilight asked.

"Pinkie embarassed me in front of Mom," said Mario bitterly, gritting his teeth, "It took me this long to get the blush out of my face."

"But pink is so your color my sweet babboo!" Pinkie said cuddling up to the side of his head. Mario's frown got longer as he growled inwardly. Applejack then made her exit carrying a tall stack of treats to make sure she did get something to eat from the brunch.

"Stay right where you are," Rarity warned as she made her exit by walking backwards, "All I want is a clear path. Nobody move and my dress won't get hurt! Stay back! Back, I say!" Mario looked at her indignant.

"I'm tempted to throw this cupcake at her for pure kicks," said Mario bluntly as he held a single cupcake in his fore-hoof.

"Do you want to end up in the hospital?" Rainbow asked him. Mario just rolled his eyes before eating the cupcake instead. It was then Spike exited the kitchen and stood next to Twilight, who breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, Spike," Twilight told him, "I don't know for sure how things went with the princess, but at least no big disasters happened." Little did anypony notice that the cage holding Philomena was empty...and a certain yellow Pegasus had left the party unnoticed.

Fluttershy arrived home with Philomena on her back.

"Oh you poor little thing," said Fluttershy as they walked inside, "How did you ever get in such bad condition?" Fluttershy set Philomena on her sofa.

"Don't you worry Philomena," said Fluttershy, "I'll nurse you back to health. As a favor to the princess, who's obviously just far too busy to care for you properly." Philomena just coughed as her head drooped to the side as her head was now on the sofa cushion upside down.

"I'm sure the princess will appreciate the help," said Fluttershy as she tried to straighten Philomena's neck, but her head toppled over once again.

"Oh my!" said Fluttershy worried, "We'd better get you to bed right away." Fluttershy soon found a small bed just the right size for Philomena and set her inside it as she placed a blanket over her.

"There," said Fluttershy as she tucked Philomena in and then placed a thermometer in her mouth. She gasped when she was the red in the thermometer rise very quickly. Fluttershy quickly places an ice pack on Philomena and removes the blanket to cool her down. Within seconds, Philomena started to turn blue and was shivering and her teeth chattering. Fluttershy gasped again as she removed the ice pack and covered her with blanket to warm up. It worked...too well as Philomena starts to overheat again and Fluttershy tries to cool her down. But then she gets too cold again. This rising and falling of her body temperature continued until her body heated up so quickly that it makes the thermometer glass shatter.

"This is far worse than I thought," said Fluttershy and had a face of determination, "What you need is some medicine? Stat!" Philomena only gave a loud cough, causing Fluttershy to flinch back a bit before she went to grab a rather large medicine pill and placed it on her side table. (Ironically the same one the Cutie Mark Crusaders had destroyed. Mario had helped repair it for her.)

"Here you go, Philomena," said Fluttershy, "This will fix you right up." Philomena sniffed the pill before turning her head away and snubbed it.

"Doctor Fluttershy expected that," said Fluttershy with smirk and then buried the pill under a tall pile of bird seeds. Philomena jumped into top of the pile and began to gobble it up, sounding and vibrating like a jackhammer.

"Always works," said Fluttershy and then gasped, apparently Philomena wasn't as gullible as her other patients and had eaten all the birds seed and left the medicine pill untouched, "Uh...Almost always." Philomena just coughed in reply. Fluttershy then brought over a large bowl of soup.

"There's nothing like homemade soup to cure what ails you," said Fluttershy as Philomena sniffled the bowl and snubbed it.

"Come on now," said Fluttershy, "You're not gonna get better if you don't cooperate..." She brought the bowl to her mouth and pretended to eat some, "Mmm...see? It's delicious. Good and good for you." She then tried to move the bowl towards Philomena's head.

"Here comes to choo-choo train," said Fluttershy, "Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, whoo-whoo!" Try as Fluttershy might, Philomena refused to open her mouth and all her head turning got her neck wound up like a corkscrew. Her head suddenly spun about to untwist itself and she dunked her dizzy head into the soup.

"Oh dear," said Fluttershy worried, "Don't worry, Philomena. I know what'll make you feel better. Wait right here. I have just the thing." Philomena only coughed in response, but the cough sounded like bubbles due to her head still submerged in the soup.

Later on Philomena had found a bag that was loaded with some mouse feed. She began to eat some of it when Fluttershy arrived with a blue and green hummingbird.

"Look, Philomena," said Fluttershy, getting the bird to stop pecking, "I brought a fellow feathered friend to cheer you up." Fluttershy held up a fore-hoof for the Hummingbird to perch on. "Hummingway was sick once too, but he let me help him and got better in no time. Didn't you boy?"

"Mm-hmm!" Hummingway replied in a hum.

"Say hello to your new friend Philomena," said Fluttershy as Hummingway flew over to the bird. Hummingway nuzzled Philomena's neck. Philomena smiled.

"Aw, look," said Fluttershy, "I think he likes you." Hummingway then flew back to Fluttershy's fore-hoof. She began to sing a wordless tune, which was ironically the theme song of the very show this story is based on. Hummingway happily hummed the tune back to Fluttershy.

"Your turn now, Philomena," said Fluttershy, "Go ahead. You can do it." Fluttershy sang her little tune again. Philomena inhales...before spitting out a glop of the chew up feed she had eaten into Fluttershy's face, knocking the Pegasus back a few feet.

"Oh! Um...good try?" said Fluttershy as she wiped the muck off her face. She then moved Philomena to her bathroom.

"I know what'll clear up that tickle in your throat. A humidifier," said Fluttershy as she dressed Philomena in a towel and placed the device under her beak as Fluttershy took a nice deep breath, "Refreshing. How's that feeling now for you, Philomena? Better?" Philomena took a deep breath as Fluttershy smiled excitedly. Until Philomena let out a massive coughing fit and wheeze that caused some of her feathers to come off.

"Oh...That's okay," said Fluttershy, refusing to give up, "I know lots of other ways to take care of you. Don't worry, you're gonna get better, How about..." She then moved Philomena back into the living room and lit up a huge collection of scented candles.

"Aromatherapy?" Fluttershy offered, but the scent only made Philomena sneeze and lose more feathers. She then got a metal bin and put Philomena into it with some soap and water.

"Warm Bath?" Fluttershy proposed, but Philomena's body absorbed all the water, fattening her up, and making her lose even more feathers.

"Ointment?" Fluttershy offered as she put some on Philomena's head. This not only caused an allergenic reaction as red bumped appeared on her skin, but Philomena lost even more feathers as a result of it. With Philomena almost completely featherless, Fluttershy had to take drastic action. Wearing a doctor's mirror on her head, she began to work on repairing the damage with Angel as her assistant. It was as if she were performing medical surgery.

"Scalpel," Fluttershy instructed as Angel handed the tool to her.

"Surgical tape," Fluttershy said next as it was handed to her.

"Feathers," Fluttershy said after and began to work. Angel just watched intensely, even wiping Fluttershy's brow when it got glossy as the yellow pony worked to reattach the fallen feathers back into Philomena. When she had finished, the poor bird was covered in pieces of the tape and feathers stuck sloppily onto her body. One cough was all it took for the feathers to come back off.

"Oh Philomena," said Fluttershy sadly, "I thought this would be easy to nurse you back to health. I've tried everything I know. And look at you. You're worse than ever." Philomena said nothing as her head toppled into the sofa so she was looking at her upside down. It was just than Fluttershy heard someone knock on the door. Fluttershy slowly walks up to the door and was suddenly knocked back as Twilight pushes the door open with Mario right behind her.

"Hi Fluttershy!" said Twilight and Mario together.

"I just wanted to drop by and say thank you so very much for making such a good impression on the princess today..." Twilight told the yellow pony before she and Mario gasped dramatically when they saw Philomena on the table nearby. They both rushed over and examined her before turning to Fluttershy.

"What is Celestia's pet doing here?" said Twilight.

"You are the last pony I'd expect to resort to stealing animals!" Mario added as Twilight looked at him nervously.

"I couldn't leave the poor thing there," Fluttershy said in her defense, "She needed my help."

"Oh no. Nononononono!" said Twilight in a panic, "This is bad!"

"Now, now, I'm sure we..." Mario was cut off, meanwhile Philomena just plopped into her back.

"How could I just walk away and not do anything?" Fluttershy protested.

"But...but...she doesn't belong to you!" Twilight snapped.

"I had to do something," said Fluttershy as Philomena's just let herself roll off the table and onto the floor.

"Without telling anypony?!" Twilight replied, "without asking permission?"

"But..." Fluttershy was cut off when Philomena raised her head above the table and gave a loud cough. Mario flinched back as Twilight sighed to herself.

"I know you had good intentions, but you have got to return the princess's pet," said Twilight.

"But..." Fluttershy was then caught off as Philomena gave a deep, wheezy breath. Fluttershy just sighed to herself.

"You're right," said Fluttershy sadly, "Okay, let's..." Philomena interrupted her again with a loud cough, making all three ponies flinch, as she froze and just fell into her back on the floor, "...go..." Twilight wasted no time setting a saddle basket on Fluttershy, dropped Philomena into it and closed the top of it.

"If we hurry," said Twilight as she rushed towards the door, "we can put her back before anypony even realizes she's missing...GASP." It was then the door opened and there standing before Twilight were two of Celestia's royal guards. Twilight's eyes shrunk as she bit her lip in full panic. Mario, however, remained calm.

"May we help you good sirs?" Mario asked calmly as Twilight was literally trying to hide the fact she was panicking.

"We were told we could find Twilight Sparkle and Mario Star here?" said one guard.

"That's is us," Mario answered plainly, "What's up?"

"We regret to inform you two that the royal pet is missing," said the second guard.

"Really?" said Twilight in an overly cheerful voice, "You don't say!" She chuckled nervously to Fluttershy who just had a worried frown on her face. It was then they heard a cough from inside the basket Philomena was in. Twilight then began to cough as well to make it seem like it was from her. Soon she had Fluttershy coughing as well. The guards just looked puzzled and unamused. Mario kept a blank face, but deep down inside he was groaning and fighting the urge not to slap a hoof on his face.

Twilight, I'm official flunking you at "keeping it casual", Mario said to himself.

"It's the dry night air?" said Twilight since the guards were staring at them.

"But it's daytime," said Fluttershy and Mario together.

"Well...day air's even drier," said Twilight and quickly pushed them out of the house, "You guards better be on your way if you're gonna find the princess's missing pet. Philomena, was it? Thank you ever so much for keeping me in the loop. Bye!" With that Twilight shut the door and looked out the window as the guard ponies left the cottage. Twilight leaned her back against the wall as she panted heavily, wiped her brow with a fore-hoof, and was finally able to calm down...until she saw Mario and Fluttershy heading towards the front door.

"Phew!" said Twilight and then gasped, "What are you two doing?"

"Going to return, Philomena, remember?" said Fluttershy.

"Yeah," said Mario, "I don't know why you shooed the guard away like that. If we had just explained what had happened..."

"Are you nuts?!" Twilight snapped, "We can't now!"

"Why not?" said Fluttershy and Mario.

"You have no idea what the princess is gonna do if she finds you're the one who took her pet," said Twilight, "do you?!"

"Do you?" Fluttershy and Mario asked together.

"Will you stop doing that?" Fluttershy asked annoyed.

"Hey, it wasn't on purpose," said Mario, "And I'd like to hear what Twilight thinks Mom will do to you. Do you know what she'll do, Twilight?"

"Well...no," said Twilight, "But it can't be anything good. She might banish you from Equestria Or throw you in a dungeon. Or banish you and throw you in a dungeon in the place she banishes you to!" Twilight visualized Fluttershy in a dark murky swamp, followed by an underground cave with an iron door slamming shut, startling the yellow Pegasus, and then saw the murky swamp again with Fluttershy inside of a square metal cage.

"You really think the princess would do that?" Fluttershy asked as she opened the cage door and walked out it just as Twilight snapped back into reality.

"Okay, granted that probably won't happen," said Twilight, "but do you want to take any chances?"

"All that really matters to me is that poor little Philomena here gets well," said Fluttershy with Philomena coughing in agreement.

"That's very noble of you," said Twilight, her tone brimming with sarcasm, "I'll write to you when you're banished. Unless I'm banished too somewhere there's no post office. Then you'll have to write to me. Deal?" Mario just let out a loud huff and made his way towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Twilight demanded as she got in front of the door.

"I am going to go find Mom," said Mario.

"WHAT?!" Twilight yelped, "Do you want us to be banished too?!"

"You're not going to be banished," said Mario as a matter of fact, "Nopony's going to be banished."

"How you do know that?" Twilight asked quickly, leaning her head forward.

"I know that I've spent more time and known Mom a lot longer than either of you," said Mario, "If I find Mom, and tell her what happened. I'm sure she'll understand. She might not like that Fluttershy took Philomena without asking..."

"Exactly!"

"...but she won't punish someone who had Philomena's best interests at heart," Mario finished firmly, "Now move Twilight so I can go find Mom."

"No!"

"Twilight, can't we just do this the easy way?" Mario asked with an eye roll, "Mom might even know something about Philomena's condition that Fluttershy can use to help her recover from...whatever illness she has. Can you just...just..." Twilight then looked at him sadly, giving him the largest and saddest puppy dog eyes she could make. He could even see tears brimming on the bottoms of her eyes. Mario couldn't tell if Twilight was actually begging or panicking or even a combination of both.

"Ugh...why can't you trust me?" Mario asked in exasperation, "I hate it when you do this!"

"Your fighting a losing battle big brother," said Fluttershy, "Do you really want to see Twilight cry?" Mario groaned loudly as Twilight kept up her puppy dog pout.

"Fine, I won't tell Mom...yet," said Mario, emphasizing the last word when Twilight hugged him tightly.

"Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Twilight said with gratitude before giving him a another kiss on the cheek and let him go. Fluttershy giggled as Mario blushed.

"Was it worth giving in now?" she teased.

"Depends on what Twilight's master plan is for getting Philomena back to Mom," said Mario, "which I'm vague on the details because Twilight has yet to share them with me."

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" Twilight retorted.

"Please Twilight," said Fluttershy, "You just have to help me get Philomena healthy and then we can return her to the princess. And everything will be fine."

"Did you give her any kind of medicine?" Twilight asked.

"I tried to, but she wouldn't take it," said Fluttershy.

"Then you have to make her take it," Twilight groaned and getting in Fluttershy's face, "You can't be such a pushover, Fluttershy! You need to show this patient whose boss. Make her straighten up and fly right! You had no problem making Mario take his medicine that time he was sick."

"She can't fly," said Fluttershy, "Besides, Mario is different. I can't smack a bird on the back of the head to make them take their medicine. That's barbaric!"

"Then why did you smack me?" Mario asked with a glare.

"Cause you're a boy and I can," Fluttershy responded smugly.

"Bleh!" Mario remarked, sticking his tongue out at her.

"No excuses!" said Twilight as she stepped on one of Philomena's wings lightly to make her open her mouth. Twilight then dropped the tablet into Philomena's mouth, which she gobbled up instantly.

"Done," said Twilight, "Okay, what else?"

"Uh...well, she keeps pulling her feathers off," said Fluttershy, "the ones that haven't fallen out yet from all her coughing, I mean."

"I've heard of birds shedding feathers to make way for a new set," said Mario, "but the fact this bird isn't growing any new feathers is a problem. What kind of bird is this?"

"You mean you don't know?" said Fluttershy surprised, "You said you've lived with Celestia your whole life."

"Yeah, but I think Philomena was a recent addition," said Mario, "Earlier today was the first time I had seen her. I've never seen a bird like her before." Philomena just coughed in response as Twilight stuck a medical cone over her head.

"There you go," said Twilight, but Philomena didn't take to the cone very well. She began to try pulling it off her head with her hind legs, but couldn't. She then tried to just walk about, but was tumbling over and bumping into things. Fluttershy looked concerned.

"I don't think she likes it," Fluttershy told the purple pony.

"Tough love, baby," said Twilight sternly, "You want her to get well, don't you?"

"Of course, but..."

"Twilight, don't you think you're being a little too insensitive," said Mario, "remember that one time you gave tough love to Spike when he got sick..."

"Mario, this is a completely different situation and besides, all the gems he ate in the castle treasury were easily replaced...mostly," Twilight answered, "Next!"

"Well, she desperately needs some bed rest," Fluttershy pointed out, "but I can't get her to stay put."

"One step ahead of you," said Twilight as she wasted no time putting Philomena into a spare bird cage and covered it with a white cloth. Philomena began to squawk loudly.

"It's for your own good, Philomena, I promise," said Fluttershy gently, "Please, just relax and try to get some sleep." Philomena just squawked in reply as Twilight saw the bowl of soup on another table.

"What's the soup over here?" Twilight asked, "Smells delicious."

"I made it for Philomena," said Fluttershy, "But she wouldn't eat it."

"Oh, she'll eat it, all right," said Twilight as she brought the bowl to the birdcage.

"Twilight, remember Spike..."

"That was then, this is now!" Twilight snapped as she opened the cage to force feed Philomena with a determined smirk on her face, but Philomena gave a loud SQUAWK before jumping out of the cage and making a run for it.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Twilight called out.

"I've got this!" said Mario as he somersaulted, jumped into the air, and landed in front of the door. Despite his stance, Philomena just ducked under his legs and made her escape.

"Aw, man..." Mario groaned.

"No! Philomena! Come back!" Fluttershy shouted as she and Twilight just barely avoided knocking Mario out of the way as they left the house to give chase. Mario wasn't too far behind.

Ladies and Gentlecolts, it's the return of some more Benny-Hill style music as Twilight, Fluttershy, and Mario give chase after the renegade Philomena. To begin, Philomena literally had the ponies going in circles around a tree. They were soon running around the tree so fast that the three ponies lost sight of Philomena as she went up the tree. Twilight and Fluttershy took off to the left while Philomena headed towards the right from above. Mario just missed seeing the bird when he when to check the tree branches before catching up with the girls.

Meanwhile, back in town, the two guards were asking various ponies about where Philomena was, even showing a black and white drawing of the bird, but no pony has seen her. Back in the park, Philomena had taken a disguise with a beard and mustache and was just reading a newspaper when Fluttershy and Twilight asked if they had seen her. Mario looked at the mustachioed bird suspiciously as Philomena, in disguise, just shook her head and went back to reading as Fluttershy and Twilight ran off with Mario right behind them. Only three seconds would pass before Philomena yelped silently as Mario tried to slide across the bench to catch her, figuring out her disguise, before she escaped and Mario took after her.

Philomena was a very crafty bird, changing her running speed and changing directions quickly in a way that made it difficult for even Mario to catch her. She then ran behind the guards. Twilight and Mario quietly tip-hoofed past them with Fluttershy hovering close behind before they picked up their pace to give chase. The three ponies and Philomena then entered an area where they are randomly entering and exiting a set of four doors. Eventually Mario stops dashing in and out of the doors to wait for Philomena so he could cut her off. But before he knew it, Fluttershy and Twilight crashed into Mario head first, sandwiching his head between theirs. The three ponies were left dazed for a few moments as Philomena ran off once again. It was then the guards posted a picture of Philomena on a lamppost. Philomena looked at the picture, drew a mustache and beard on it, before taking off again.

Fluttershy, Twilight, and Mario were still giving chase when Rainbow flew just above them.

"What are you three doing?" Rainbow asked curiously, "Are you having a race? Oh, can I play? One, two, three go!" Rainbow took off even though neither pony replied. Eventually the four ponies arrived a pink fountain where the rest of their friends were just relaxing and chatting, except for Pinkie who was munching on something in her mouth.

"MMM-mmm," Pinkie hummed until Fluttershy lifted her into the air.

"Excuse me!" said Fluttershy.

"Hi!" Pinkie responded.

"Beg your pardon," said Twilight as she lifted Rarity into the air.

"Put me down!" Rarity demanded as Twilight did so.

"What in tarnation?!" Applejack exclaimed over what was happening.

"Sorry," said Fluttershy, "but we've gotta find..."

"The princess's pet bird!" shouted one of the guards as they all saw Philomena sitting on top of the fountain statue. She just gave a cough as everyone looked up at her.

"Philomena, come down from there!" said Fluttershy in a motherly tone, "You'll hurt yourself!" It was just then the final feather fell off of Philomena. She goes into an overdramatic scene as her body does an exaggerated death rattle and plops into the top of the fountain with x's over her eyes. Then two seconds later she repeated the routine before letting herself fall off the fountain statue.

"I'll catch you!" said Fluttershy as she rushed as fast as her hooves could go to try and catch Philomena before she hit the ground. Pinkie gasped in anticipation as the others wondered if Fluttershy would make it. But before Fluttershy could get to the bird, Philomena's body erupted into flames, turning her body into nothing but grey ashes. Fluttershy gasped as the ashes floated into a pile under Fluttershy's fore-hooves. Everyone gave a loud gasp in utter shock as poor Fluttershy gave a loud whimper and began to cry. Mario wasted no time, wrapping a fore-hoof around her to provide some sort of comfort. The two guards just stared with their jaws hanging out when a certain white alicorn made her appearance.

"What is going on here?" said Princess Celestia, as the guards backed away and while everyone minus Fluttershy and Mario bowed. She turned towards the purple pony and her "son", "Twilight? Mario?"

"Yes, your Majesty," said Twilight, "there's been a terrible accident."

"Yes, Mom," said Mario sadly as he stood by Twilight, "This is..."

"Mario no!" said Twilight, holding a fore-hoof in front of him to stop talking. There was no way she was gonna let Mario take the fall for something that he had no fault in...or made him cover up for her sake.

"It's all my fault," said Fluttershy, finally approaching the Princess and leaving Philomena's ashes nearby.

"No, Princess," said Twilight, "Fluttershy didn't know any know any better. It was my fault." Princess Celestia just looked at them curiously.

"I'm the one who did it," Fluttershy protested.

"But you were only trying to help," said Twilight.

"Some help I was," said Fluttershy sadly.

"Will ya let me do this?" Twilight retorted, "She'll go easier on me."

"But it's my fault!" Fluttershy replied.

"No, it's my fault!" said Twilight firmly.

"No, it's my fault!" said Pinkie, standing in front of them, "Wait, what are we talking about?" Once Pinkie realized she wasn't going to get an answer, she zipped away. Fluttershy then took a step forward.

"Thanks for trying to protect me, Twilight, but..." said Fluttershy bravely as she stood before Princess Celestia, "Princess Celestia, I'm the one who took your pet bird. I really was only trying to help the poor little thing. Then I was gonna bring it right back to you, honest. So, if you wanna banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to, then that's what I deserve." Princess Celestia simply walked over to the pile of ashes as Fluttershy was speaking to her. She then knelt down beside the ashes. It seemed she was lowering her head in mourning.

"Oh, stop fooling around, Philomena," Princess Celestia said with a chuckle, "You're scaring everypony. " The ashes then rose into the air and transformed into a beautiful orange-red bird. The ponies gasped and awed in amazement. Fluttershy was surprised and left confused.

"I don't understand!" said Fluttershy as the bird flew over to Princess Celestia, "What is that thing? What happened to Philomena?"

"This is Philomena," Princess Celestia answered, "She's quite a sight as I said, but nothing unusual for a phoenix. Isn't that right, Philomena?" The bird gave a loud squawk in reply.

"A...A phoenix?" said Fluttershy in amazement.

"This is so cool, Mom," said Mario, "Only you would be able to tame such a rare bird."

"Indeed," said Princess Celestia, "A phoenix is a majestic and magical bird. While it appears happy and healthy most of the time, every so often it must renew itself by shedding all of its feathers bursting into flames." It was then Philomena took a short flight and returned back to Celestia's fore-hoof. Princess Celestia then leaned over to Fluttershy before saying quietly,

"Rather melodramatic, if you ask me..." and then pulled away and spoke in her normal tone, "It then rises from the ashes, fresh as a daisy. All just the normal part of the life cycle of a phoenix. I'm afraid mischievous little Philomena here took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Fluttershy. Say you're sorry, young lady." Philomena lowered her head and squawked what sounded like "I'm sorry" to Fluttershy, who simply smiled.

"So...aren't you gonna banish me? Or throw me in a dungeon? Or banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"Of course not, my little pony," said Princess Celestia, "where on Earth did you get such an idea?" Fluttershy just gave Twilight a glance before smiling.

"I guess I have some imagination," said Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy really did do everything she could to try to take care of Philomena for you," Twilight added.

"And I do appreciate that your heart was in the right place, child," said Princess Celestia, "But all you had to do was ask and I could have simply told you Philomena was a phoenix and saved you all this trouble."

"Gee...where have I heard that before?" Mario said aloud as Twilight and Fluttershy gave him blank looks.

"Don't expect us to admit you were right," Fluttershy remarked.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...I get no respect, no respect at all," Mario muttered under his breath and began to pout as everyone snickered.

"Well, my son, this is what happens when you make six girls your best friends," said Princess Celestia with a chuckle, "thought I do suggest that despite wanting to represent your element you remember to stand up for what is right so these kind of mistakes don't happen in the future."

"Yes...Mom..." said Mario, smiling timidly, feeling a little embarassed as he began to look at his hoof as he slid it across the dirt.

"So please, don't feel afraid to ask me about something you don't understand the next time we have a get-together, my little ponies," she told Fluttershy, Twilight, and the others.

"I know," said Fluttershy, "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Next time, I'll ask before taking matters into my own hooves."

"Should I write you a letter about that lesson, Princess?" Twilight asked.

"No, that's quite all right," Princess Celestia answered as Philomena took to the skies once again, "I think I can remember." It was then Fluttershy felt something in her right ear, she looked up to find that Philomena had tucked one of her red feathers there as a gift.

"It's beautiful," said Fluttershy, "thank you, Philomena. No hard feelings." The phoenix continued to fly about until Rainbow got an idea.

"Hmm..." she pondered before flying up to Philomena and whispering in a tone that was indistinct to everypony else, "Hey, you know what you should do? You should go over there and tickle them!" Rainbow pointed towards the guards as Philomena flew between them and began to tickle their noses. The guards couldn't keep a straight face and began to laugh.

"Yeah!" Rainbow shouted as she and Philomena exchanged a high hoof/wing. Everyone else just laughed as well.

And that ends the adventures of Ella Pollo Lolo.

I know Philomena is not a "crazy chicken", but she certainly acted like one.

Peace Pony Fans!