A Dog and Pony Show

Pony's Log Number 119: Sometimes even the most prissy and fussy of ponies can manage themselves when trapped in the...heh...dog house...

One day, Mario was working with Rarity on a new outfit. While most of the sewing and designing had been done, the most delicate part of the process involved the proper placing of various gems onto the outfit. Rarity was grabbing a blue gem with her magic as she carefully set it into its proper place.

"Perfect!" said Rarity as Mario released a breath he was holding. They then heard the doorbell ring. Mario and Rarity closed the curtain to the outfit before walking over to greet who it was, but Mario was then frozen in place as Rarity moved forward with her eyes closed.

"Coming!" said Rarity, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique." Rarity then realized Mario hadn't said the rest of the greeting and opened her eyes and instantly found out why with a gasp. There before her was one of the most popular and well known ponies in the music industry.

"Sapphire Shores! The pony of Pop!" Rarity and Mario exclaimed together as Mario nervously wobbled next to Rarity.

"Good afternoon, Miss Rarity," said Sapphire Shores, "same to you, Mister Mario." Mario and Rarity were overwhelmed.

"You...yah...Y-y-you know my name?" Rarity stuttered.

"Both of our names!" Mario exclaimed, his voice squeaking from the excitement.

"Well, of course I do, darlings," Sapphire Shores replied, "I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming designers and Clothes Horse magazine raved about you two." The pop star continued to browse about as Rarity and Mario were left star-struck.

"Oh my stars, If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up," Rarity whispered to Mario.

"I already pricked myself with a thread needle twice," Mario whispered back excitedly, "This is real!" They exchanged a chuckle with each other before recomposing themselves.

"How may we help you Miss Shores?" Rarity asked.

"Oh please, call me Sapphire," the pop star replied. Rarity and Mario giggled to themselves.

"How may we help you, Sapphire?" Rarity asked again.

"Well, as I'm sure you know," Sapphire Shores explained, "I'll be touring all of Equestria with my latest concert, Sapphire Shores Ziegfilly Follies, so I need to look seeensational! Ow!" Rarity and Mario were taken aback a bit from her small sample of her powerful singing voice, but were able to recompose themselves right away.

"We have just what you need," said Rarity as she gestured Mario to stand near the curtain where their most recent project was residing, "Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the piece de resistance de la haute couture. We used every last diamond I found on this one garment." Rarity opened the curtain to reveal the garment. Sapphire Shore's eyes widen in amazement as what appeared to be a glittery and sparkly white suit covered in two types of red and blue gems.

"And it is spectacular!" said Sapphire Shores with a gasp, "I'll take it."

"Really?" said Rarity in surprise.

"Oh yes, and five more," Sapphire Shores replied, "each one done up in a different gem."

"Beg pardon?" Rarity asked stunned.

"Wuh?" Mario added.

"Costume changes," Sapphire Shores responded. Rarity then looked into her gem chest, which was completely empty. Mario just looked dumbfounded.

"Ah-hoo-bah-daba-doo-bah-doo-bah-daba-doo..." Mario mumbled with wide eyes as Rarity fainted with her four legs in the air, toothy grin, eye's twitching, and stars swirling around her head.

"Yes, I do have that effect on ponies," Sapphire Shores chuckled before making her exit. Mario and Rarity were still too stunned to bid her farewell.

(theme song)

Once Mario and Rarity had recovered, they got themselves ready for a gem hunt. As part of Mario's internship, Rarity taught him her gem seeking spell beforehand so the colt was more than ready to go for his first ever gem hunt. As timing would have it, Spike happened to arrive as well and was more than willing to provide additional assistance...for obvious reasons. He had a red wagon behind him as they reached a clearing where Rarity was already trying to detect some nearby gems. He was still amazed by the fact the two ponies got to meet Sapphire Shores face to face.

"Oh my gosh!" Spike exclaimed from behind the two ponies as he continued to pull his wagon forward, "Sapphire Shores! The pony of pop! She is awesome! I mean, she's gorgeous and talented and-" Rarity shot him a glare, making Spike give a nervous chuckle.

"-heh...and not even half the pony you are," Spike continued sheepishly, "I mean, you're ten times more gorgeous and talented and-"

"Oh brother," said Mario quietly, slightly annoyed at Spike kissing up to Rarity.

"Be nice, Mario," Rarity whispered, "Like you don't do the same with Twilight." Mario blushed.

"Not out loud...or in front of her," said Mario before muttering, "She always ignored me when I tried to do that in the past..." Rarity got back to Spike.

"Spike, a lady is never jealous," she told the dragon.

"Then why'd you glare at him?" Mario teased only to get a glare from the marshmallow pony herself.

"Eh, of course not," said Spike, still thinking he had annoyed Rarity, "But were you totally flipping out or what?!"

"Ladies do not "flip out", Spike," said Rarity simply.

"Neither do gentlecolts," Mario added in the same tone.

"You made yourself look dumb in front of her, didn't you?" Spike teased to Mario, who growled at him annoying as Rarity chuckled.

"Mario, was quite professional as was I," Rarity replied, "However, I was quite in awe. Oh I need to find more jewels than ever before to decorate her costumes."

"Good thing you taught me your gem finding spell," said Mario as he used his magic to pull out a pair of hoof shoes that resembled claws from his saddle bag.

"What are those?" Rarity asked as she continued to scan for gems as Mario clipped the "claws" onto his fore-hooves.

"You know that I'm a colt of multitasking," said Mario as he made his horn glow, "I was able to mod the spell so I can detect the gems without lowering my head. When I'm above some..." Suddenly his horn made a chime. "...like this. I can just dive in and get them."

"Dive in?" Rarity asked puzzled as Mario then jumped high into the air and literally dived underground, creating a very small hole above the ground. Then the hole began to spit out various gems of all shapes and colors before Mario popped out of the hole, sealing where he was digging below him.

"Woah!" said Spike impressed as Mario used his magic to gather all the gems, created a single freight car and deposited them into it. Rarity was rather impressed until she began to sense something below.

"Oh aha!" Rarity exclaimed, thanks to her magic she could "see" the gems below her horn.

"Did you find some?" Spike asked eagerly.

"Yes, Spike!" said Rarity, "Right there!"

"Did you..."

"I got these Mario," said Spike, interrupting the colt before he began to dig with his claws and there before them was nice cluster of various gems. Spike began to drool as he eyed them hungrily.

"Oooooo!" said Spike, "You look so delicious..."

"Spike!" Rarity interrupted to snap him out of his stupor, "I promised I'd give you gems to snack on, but we need collect more first or Mario and I will never be able to make those outfits for Sapphire Shores."

"Hm...I will miss you, my sweets," Spike said to the gems, hugging them to his chest and dumping them inside his red wagon.

"Come along, Spike," said Rarity as she and Mario started to search again, "We have many jewels to find."

"At your service, milady," Spike said, giving a gentlemen's bow before following Rarity. They continued their little expedition together. Rarity would point to a location where she detected some gems. Spike would dig them up and deposit their findings into his red wagon. The first couple of trips to the wagon, Spike could feel his mouth water at the site of so many tasty gems.

"Spike!" Rarity called out, snapping Spike out of it before he headed back to continue helping with the gem hunt. Now Spike is using his tail like a jackhammer as he continues to dig up all the gems Rarity was finding. The more gems they found, the taller the pile of gems became. As for Mario, he was pretty much just working solo from the two, but his efforts were even more fruitful, he had managed to dig up two freight cars worth in the time Spike had filled his wagon, which was smaller in size. The dragon could feel his mouth water at all the gems. Then he was given a light pat on his head.

"You've been very patient today, Spike," said Rarity, "and for that you get the finest reward. This is from me to you." Rarity used her magic to give Spike a large blue emerald shaped gem. Instead of gobbling it up, Spike just looked at Rarity in surprise.

"Is something wrong, Spike?" Rarity asked since Spike was staring as she subconsciously batted her eyes at him. She was unaware of the sparkling aura that the dragon was current seeing her being surrounded with.

"No," said Spike happily as he hugged the gem, "It's perfect." Mario chuckled, but he was also a little jealous. He could only hope he could make Twilight that happy someday.

"Ooo, bring the cart, Spike. You too with your freight cars, Mario," said Rarity excitedly, "there are more over here." Mario headed over right away as Spike continued to marvel at his new gem.

"For me, from Rarity," he said to himself before pulling the wagon towards the marshmallow pony. Little did any of them know that in a nearby collection of bushes that they were being watched by someone.

"Yesss, gemsss," said one named Rover, "Gemsss!"

"Where?" asked another named Fido. Rover pointed towards the wagon.

"Precious gemsss!" said Rover eagerly as he looked at Spike, "He is the gem hunter. With him we can have all the gems...and more! Let's get the dragon."

"Spike? Where are you?" Rarity called out as Spike finally caught up with the two ponies.

"Wait! Who is that?" said Rover as he watched Spike walk up to Rarity.

"You know," said Rarity, "it's terrible to keep a lady waiting."

"I can dig..."

"No Mario, let Spike do his share," said Rarity, "you've already helped me plenty so take a rest." Mario just nodded.

"Coming!" said Spike as he began to dig the spot Rarity told him with his tail.

"I think we're going to strike gold this time," said Rarity, "So to speak." Rarity and Mario laughed.

"I get it," said Mario, "I think strike diamonds would be more accurate, but whatever." Rarity just smiled as Spike surfaced with a collection of gems as tall as him.

"Jackpot!" Spike shouted excitedly.

"Oh, it's not the dragon we want," said Rover, "It's the pony!"

"The pony..." Rover, Fido, and what sounded like a third dog-creature in the bushes replied eerily. The three friends were still unaware of the danger as Rarity smiled at all the gems they had collected.

"Well, Spike, I think that's all we can do for today," said Rarity, "and these will certainly get us well on our way with Sapphire's outfits. Why don't we start headi..." Rarity was then cut off when her horn began to detect a very strong gem presence nearby. Mario's horn was sparkling as well.

"Oh! What's this?" said Rarity as she followed her detection towards...the bushes and trees? "Oh...oh strange, it's in the trees..." Rarity then spotted a gold gem in the bushes. It was then Rover jumped out of the bush. The gem she had detected was a yellow diamond around the dog-creature's collar. He was also wearing a vest and was looking like he was ready to pounce.

"Oooo...Ewww!" Rarity exclaimed as she, Spike, and Mario stepped back, "Good day, gentle...uh, fellow. Uh, I am Rarity. These are my friends Mario and Spike."

"Ehe..." said Spike nervously.

"Nice to...meet you..." Mario replied slowly, standing close to Rarity to protect her.

"And you are..." Rarity asked timidly.

"A Diamond Dog," Rover said mischievously, his claws raised and ready to grab them.

"Oh really?" said Rarity, now feeling very uneasy, "Oh well, that explains your fine taste in jewelry. I mean...I-I-I know that diamonds are a girl's best friend and now I know that they're a dog's best friend too, ha ha ha..." Rarity gave a nervous cough, "...So, um...you're hunting for gems as well?"

"Yes," said Rover sinisterly, "We hunt."

"Uh...we?" Rarity asked before two other diamond dog jump up from behind them.

"We hunt for gems," said Rover, "but you are better hunter. So now we hunt...for you." There was a brief pause.

"AHH!" Rarity screamed as a another diamond dog named Spot took a swipe her, but she ducked at the last second and avoid being captured. Spike then used his tail to jackhammer Spot on the head, babbling as he did so.

"Yaaaaah!" Spot shouted as he was then tossed into the air. Another dog named Fido growls at Spike.

"Run, Rarity! Run! Aaaah! Uh!" Spike called out before Fido stomped him into the ground. Spike recovered quickly and grabbed Fido by the hind leg.

"Ooooooh!" said Fido as he lost his balance and tumbled into the ground. As he tried to regain his balance, he knocked over Spot as well.

"Yaaaaah!" Spot shouted as he fell face first as well.

"Spike! Come On! Hurry!" said Rarity, who apparently was more worried about Spike than trying to get away from the diamond dogs. Mario stayed on guard next to her.

"Gotcha!" said Rover as he surprised them both from behind.

"If you want Rarity," Mario warned, "You're going to have to get through me."

"We defeat you, we get pony," Rover said giddy.

"As if," Mario shot back.

"Mario what are you doing?" Rarity asked worried before he engaged the diamond dog. He then created a glow of his horn to transport him and Rover into a fight setting.

"Let's a-go!" said Mario.

(cue favorite RPG battle music)

Mario stood on the left while Rover stood on the right. Rarity was watching as she stood next to Mario in confusion of what just happened.

"What kind of fight is this?" Rarity asked baffled.

"Turn-style," Mario answered as he wasted no time standing on just his hind legs. Then he jumped and gave Rover a good stomp on the head and then another.

"You have some of this," Rover replied as he ducked underground. Mario stayed calm until he felt a rumble underneath his feet. Mario then jumped up as Rover surfaced.

"Gotcha! huh?" Rover said stunned when Mario wasn't there before getting another stomp onto his head. Rover groaned as he dived back underground. When he surfaced, Rover looked rather woozy as Mario gave him another double stomp.

"I have headache," Rover groaned.

"It's only gonna get worse if you don't leave Rarity alone!" Mario retorted when...

BONK!

"...momma...mia..." Mario groaned as Spot appeared behind him and used one of his large fists to clock Mario on the top of the head. Not only did that break the rules of turn fights, but Mario was out cold. Rover laughed.

(end battle)

The environment went back to the way it was with Mario now knocked out and laying stomach first on the ground.

"Mario! No!" Rarity screamed.

"Now you're ours!" Rover said as he grabbed Rarity.

"WAAAAAAAAH!" Rarity screamed, "Spike!" The little dragon was still trying to hold into Fido's leg to keep him away from her. In fact, the fight itself was just a couple of yards away from Spike.

"Haha! Nope!" said Fido as he sent Spike flying into a tree, his spike made him get stuck on a tree branch upside down.

"Sorry, scaly one," Spot said in mock apology.

"Wait! Rarity?" Spike groaned from the tree.

"Unhand me this instant, you ruffians," said Rarity as Rover carried her into a nearby hole with Fido and Spot right behind him, "Stop! Put me down, you thugs! You brutes!"

"Rarity!" Spike gasped as he saw the diamond dogs take Rarity down a hole.

"Spike!" said Rarity, trying to crawl away until she saw her hoof was coated in dirt, "Ah dirt!" Her fussiness made her lose her grip as the diamond dogs grabbed her and pulled her back down.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, SPIIIKE!" Rarity screamed as she disappeared into the hole once more.

"Which, what, where?" Spike stuttered as he tried to rave towards the hole to save her, but he was too late. Rarity was already gone.

"Save me...!" Her voice echoed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spike screamed at the top of his lungs.

It didn't take long before the rest of the Mane five had been gathered up and were heading towards the location Rarity had been captured. Spike was currently sitting on Twilight's back, breathing through a paper bag.

"Spike, can you breathe now?" Twilight asked him as the dragon continued to do his breathing.

"Yes..."Spike panted, "I think so."

"Good," said Twilight, "Now tell us what you know."

"Yeah," Rainbow added, "'Cause all you said earlier was..."

A few minutes earlier...

Spike rushed over to the Mane five in full panic as they were outside the town hall building.

"Aaaah! Rarity...woods...jewels...dogs...hole...taken...Save her!" Spike panted.

Back to the present

"Not a whole lot to go on there, sport," said Applejack as they continued to run towards the area.

"Sorry," said Spike, "Rarity, Mario, and I..."

"Mario?" said Twilight, "you never said anything about Mario being with you guys."

"Must have forgot from the panicking," said Spike, "We were in the woods looking for jewels when these creepy guys showed up."

"Creepy guys?" Twilight asked puzzled.

"They called themselves the Diamond Dogs," Spike answered, "They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground."

"Well, this sounds mighty easy," said Applejack, "Just take us to that there hole and we'll save Rarity." But when they arrived, they all gasped at what was before them. The entire area was loaded with dozens of holes.

"Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys," said Pinkie Pie.

"Um...excuse me, I just remembered something," said Fluttershy, "didn't Spike say Mario was with you?"

"That's right," said Twilight, "Spike, did Mario get captured to?" Spike suddenly looked rather uneasy.

"Not...exactly..." said Spike slowly.

"Spike?" Twilight asked more firmly.

"He tried to defeat their leader in a turn fight, but they cheated and one of the other dogs knocked him out by sneaking up behind him," said Spike quickly before slowing down, "I was so worried about Rarity that I...left him here..."

"Oh Spike," said Twilight.

"I sure hope he ain't hurt," said Applejack, "or was captured too."

"There he is," said Rainbow, noticing him still laying on his stomach with her back against them. They all rushed over to him. They were surprised to see that he was wide awake but just laying on the ground quietly.

"Mario, why are you just sitting in the dirt," Rainbow asked curiously.

"Cause I'm a failure and I'm not very important to anypony," Mario answered sadly. The five ponies gave Spike a death glare. Spike just smiled nervously.

"Sorry about that Mario," said Spike, "I was just...worried about Rarity...you know how it is." The others were a little annoyed at what he said but Mario just sighed.

"Maybe, but I still failed," said Mario, "What good am I if I can't even protect my friends? I could have taken those diamond dogs, but they..."

"Cheated?" Rainbow guessed.

"Nailed it," Mario answered half-heartedly.

"Look Mario," said Twilight, "Now isn't the time to feel sorry for yourself. We need to work together and save Rarity and we need your help." Mario just looked up at Twilight before giving her a sigh.

"Okay," said Mario, "But as you can see this won't be that easy. When Spike and I were fighting them off, there were only a few holes here, not a few dozen."

"Come on, everypony!" said Twilight, "Let's get started." Twilight then heads over to a nearby hole.

"Hello?" Twilight asked as she peeks into it. She then notices some yellow eyes glaring at her. These eyes belonged to the diamond dog Fido as he blasted some dirt into Twilight's face.

"Puh!" Twilight gasped. Pinkie then squealed as the same happened to her as she peeked into a hole. The same happened for the other ponies.

"Puh!" Spike retorted with his face now covered in dirt. Mario didn't even need to peek before he just missed getting caked in the face with dirt as well. The holes were soon being plugged up in rapid session.

"Quick! We gotta get down one before they're all filled up!" Twilight called out.

"Oh! Oh my. Oh, oh!" said Fluttershy frantically as the holes around her were being filled up. Applejack then tried to dig her way in, but as fast as she dug, she was soon overwhelmed.

"We can't muscle through it!" Applejack called out.

"We'll see about that," said Rainbow as she took high into the sky. She then went to dive straight into the hole at high speed. But then the hole was filled up instantly and Rainbow gasped as she brought herself to stop right on top of the dirt mound.

"Whew," said Applejack, "Heavens to Betsy. Now I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported."

"Oh Rarity," Twilight groaned.

She began to imagine Rarity alone in a dark underground prison.

"Oh, woe is me!" said Rarity theatrically, "Whatever shall I do?" She then touched the side of the wall as her hoof was coated in dirt. "Ah! Dirt, dirt! Get away dirt!" Rarity began to fuss about, bumping the side of the walls, getting herself more dirty, even to the point her mane and tail uncurled and became dusty.

"Make it stop! Make it stop! Ah! Filthy disgusting dirt," Rarity cried out as she leaned against the prison door, "It's stings, it burns. Help! Oh, somepony save me, save me!"

The ponies then returned to reality with worried looks on their faces.

"We gotta save her," said Applejack.

"But they blocked up all the holes," Fluttershy pointed out.

"Don't mean we can't dig 'em out," said Applejack, "Come on!" While the idea sounded simple, these diamond dogs proved to be very crafty. As Pinkie started to dig, one of the diamond dogs pulled her by the tail.

"Ow!" Pinkie cried out, stopping her digging. Then another dog dumped a pile of dirt onto Fluttershy.

"Oof!" Fluttershy groaned. Spike panted as he dashed by to find a digging spot when one of the dogs, extended a leg at the last minute from a nearby dirt mound.

"Woah! Oof!" said Spike as he fell over.

"Get 'em!" said Rainbow Dash as Applejack tried to go after the three troubling Diamond Dogs, but it was like playing an unfair game of Whack-a-mole. Err...dogs. Every time Applejack tried to go after one dog, they would duck and appear from another pile or hole. While they were doing that, they continued to pull tails, dump dirt, and trip up the other ponies.

"Come on!" Rainbow said in frustration, but the dogs continued toying with the ponies and Spike until they were grunting and panting in exhaustion.

"All those scary monsters popping up everywhere," said Fluttershy, "Oh poor Rarity must be terrified."

"Ooh," said Twilight and Mario together worryingly.

They began to imagine Rarity at the mercy of those diamond dogs.

"Give me the baubles!" said Spot.

"Ah!" Rarity squeaked.

"Give me the beads!" Fido added.

"Ahh!" Rarity shouted.

"Where are the trinkets?!" Rover demanded.

"Aaaah!" Rarity screamed.

"Where is the treasure?" The three Diamond Dogs said together. Rarity then fainted.

Now back to reality.

"Poor Rarity," said Twilight, "What are we gonna do?" The other ponies and Spike weren't too sure. Mario was in deep thought.

"I think I have an idea," said Mario, "maybe we can burrow ourselves in after all. I just need to be out of range of those doggy tricks of theirs." Mario reached into his mane and pulled out a gold ring.

"Oh Mario, I knew you'd propose to me!" said Pinkie as she took the ring from him and put it on her fore-hoof, "I accept!"

"Gimme that!" Mario said sternly as he took the ring back, "this ring isn't for you."

"I deserve it more than Twilight!" Pinkie snapped before slapping her fore-hooves over her mouth. All just eyeballed Twilight anxiously, realizing that Pinkie had revealed Mario's crush on her. Twilight just looked confused.

"Why would Mario give me a ring?" she asked innocently, still clueless to the exposed truth. The other released silent breaths.

"Never mind Twilight," said Mario, "besides, I'm no cheap colt. If any of you ponies were to get a ring from me, it would at least have some sort of diamond or gem on it." Mario pointed out the fact this ring had no gem. The other ponies, minus Twilight, giggled to each other...sheepishly.

"This ring will increase my spin rate for a short time," said Mario, "which should allow me to burrow underground fast enough before those diamond dogs can push me out. I just need to get enough altitude...wait I got it!" Mario then lit up his horn making the ground launch him high into the air. Mario then targeted a hole while in the air and dived at it. As he did, the ring on his hoof glowed brightly, making Mario spin extremely fast. The bright light made the ponies lose sight of him until they were all shaken by the impact he made as he hit the ground. Once Spike had recovered, he searched about for the open hole.

"Spike! Over here!" Mario's voice echoed from above the opened hole as he surfaced, "but I lost the diamond dogs." Spike pondered and then got an idea.

"I got it!" said Spike exclaimed, "I'll save you, my sweet." Spike held the big gem in his hand and rushed towards the hole.

"Huh?" the other five ponies wondered curiously. It wasn't long before Mario helped Spike make a fishing rod using a stick and some rope. They tied the large blue gem to the rope, hoping that one of the dogs would grab it so they could find a way to Rarity. Twilight smiled as Spike concentrated in holding the gem steady down the deep hole.

"Spike, it is very noble of you..."

"Shhh!" said Spike to Twilight.

"...to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you," Twilight finished in a softer tone.

"Oh my Lady Rarity," said Spike, "My damsel in distress." Mario chuckled.

"I sense another dream sequence..." said Mario as the view began to fade out, "ooop...here we go..."

Began Dream Sequence

Spike was now imagining himself as a taller, more muscular, and more handsome dragon knight, named Sir Spike. He stood bravely before the three diamond dogs.

"I shall save you," said Sir Spike, "Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs! Ah! There you are you mangy mutts!" The three diamond dogs took offense.

"Who are you calling mutts?" Rover said angrily, "Unleash the hounds!" Rover then blew a dog whistle, making several dogs donning some helmets appear before Spike. The dogs were barking and yelping as Sir Spike drove them all away with ease using his giant jousting sword. Sir Spike then laughed as massive flame at the remaining dogs before pinning the leaders against the wall.

"Now, where is Lady Rarity?" Sir Spike demanded. The three dogs pointed to a prison door, which Spike bashes open with his pure strength. There in the corner is Rarity, wearing a Renaissance style princess outfit.

"Spike," Rarity gasped as she smiled at him, "I knew you would save me!"

"Nothing could stop me, milady," said Sir Spike.

"Ohohohoh, Spike," said Rarity happily, "You are my...hero." Rarity puckered up to give him a big kiss.

"Mmmmmm..." said Sir Spike as he smiled as puckered his lips to kiss her back.

End Dream sequence.

Unfortunately, Spike was so into his little daydream that he was about to kiss Applejack on the lips.

"Hoho there, lover boy," said Applejack with a smile as she pulled away, snapping Spike out of it as the others smiled. Before Spike could feel any sort of embarrassment, there was strong tug from his fishing rod.

"Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoawhoawhoa..." said Spike, "I got a bite! I got a bite!"

"I'll see if I can capture who grabbed the gem so we can get some answers," said Mario as he dived down the hole. Spike tried to hold on for dear life, but was getting dragged towards the hole very quickly.

"Hold on there, little fella," said Applejack as she grabbed his tail by her teeth, but she and Spike were pulled into the hole.

"Applejack," said Twilight as she grabbed Applejack's tail by her teeth and was getting pulled down as well.

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash shouted as she grabbed Twilight's tail. She even tried to hover above the ground since the last time she did that with Applejack in tug of war, the Pegasus had the upper hand. However, this diamond dog was too strong and Rainbow was fighting not to get pulled into the hole.

"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness..." Fluttershy panicked before she grabbed into Rainbow's tail, but was losing ground quickly.

"Wait for me!" said Pinkie Pie as she grabbed Fluttershy's tail. However, the pink pony made no effort to pull back and just let herself get pulled into the hole with the rest.

"Oh!" Fluttershy yelped.

"Whee!" said Pinkie excitedly as they all tumbled down the rabbit...oops...I mean doggie hole.

Spike yelps as he and the rest of the ponies are dragged deeper and deeper down the hole. Everyone continued to yelp as they were being pulled further down the hole and were soon all launched off an underground ramp.

"Whee! Ha, ha, ha!" Pinkie giggled as they flew over the gap and into another tunnel.

"Oh, oh!" Spike yelped as they were soon all deposited out of the hole from the ceiling and into the ground below, grunting as they hit the ground.

"Ha, ha, it worked! We're in!" said Spike, "Great work Mario! Now we can finally save Rarity!"

"Um...Which way do we go?" Twilight asked. Spike noticed the labyrinth of tunnel before them and then looked at Mario.

"I tried to pin them down, but the rope broke as soon when I landed," said Mario, showing the torn rope, "I have no clue where the diamond dog took off...and they took your gem as well."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spike screamed once again. Once Spike had calmed down, Twilight began to look around.

"All these tunnels..." said Twilight as she scouted about, "How are we ever gonna find Rarity?"

"Guess we're just gonna have to start going down them one by one," said Applejack.

"That could take forever!" said Rainbow, "There's gotta be a way to narrow it down."

"I know!" said Spike, "I bet they've taken Rarity down the tunnel with the most gems."

"That's right Spike," said Mario.

"But Spike, Rarity is the only one who knows how to find gems," said Twilight.

"No, Twilight," said Spike, "Mario knows the spell and you can too! You can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell."

"Oh my gosh! You're right!" said Twilight, "Mario was helping her find gems and Rarity showed me how she did it awhile back. If I can just remember..." Twilight cringed a bit as she made her horn glow. Then it suddenly lit up with the same glow Rarity had on her horn. Mario's horn was glowing in the same manner. They began to search the caves to detect gems and soon found a tunnel that was loaded with large clusters of various gems in very close range of each other.

"That's it. You did it, Twilight and Mario," said Spike as he hopped into Twilight's back.

"Now I can get my re-match," said Mario and chuckled with determination as he equipped his "claws" into his fore-hooves and showed them to the ponies and Spike.

"Mario," said Fluttershy sternly, "take those off right now. You won't need them."

"Fluttershy I...EEK!" Mario then yelped as Fluttershy narrowed her brow, a clear warning of what she was going to do next, "Okay! Okay! No need for the Stare. Eesh!" Mario put the claws away into his saddle bag as Rainbow looked at Fluttershy baffled.

"Since when are you so assertive with Mario?" Rainbow asked Fluttershy.

"Since Fluttershy and I have been becoming better friends," Mario answered bluntly, "For some reason, she likes to get a bit sassy around me." Fluttershy just stuck her tongue out at him and smiled.

"I rest my case," said Mario annoyingly as Applejack, Rainbow, and Twilight snickered.

"Never mind that," said Spike as he pointed at the correct tunnel as Twilight lead the charge, "Come on! We're coming, Rarity! We'll save you. Just hold on!"

Meanwhile, the three diamond dogs had just backed Rarity into a corner.

"Oh please, Diamond Dogs," Rarity pleaded nervously, "Please let me go."

"No!" said Spot.

"You're our precious little pony," said Fido.

"Forever!" Rover added, "Muhahahaha!"

"But whatever do you want from me?" Rarity asked.

"Gemsss!" said Rover.

"Yes! The gems. The jewels," said Spot.

"Find them! Find them all!" Fido added.

"Oh! Is that all?" said Rarity as she lit up her horn and began to search the cavern. It wasn't much longer before she detected some gems below. Using a stick she found lying nearby, she marked the dig spot with an X.

"There," said Rarity, "A lovely pocket of jewels are right there. Now, if you'd be so kind as to show me the exit?"

"Good!" Rover replied with a laugh, "Now, dig them up, pony."

"What?" said Rarity stunned, "But you said you wanted me to find gems." That was actually true, but these three diamond dogs were willing to play dumb to it...literally.

Yes!" said Spot, "find and then dig."

"Dig?" Rarity exclaimed.

"Yes. Dig," said Fido.

"Ohh..." Rarity groaned wearily as she feebly began to fuss over the dirt. The three diamond dogs were most annoyed.

"What are you doing?" Fido replied, "we said dig!"

"Forgive me," said Rarity indignantly, "but prior to you so rudely knocking out my intern and friend Mario and then dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony-pedi and I'm not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging." Rarity began to timidly dig her hoof into the dirt. Her prissy nature was straining the diamond dogs' patience.

"Oh for goodness-Fine!" Rover snapped, "Just stop. Stop! Dig, dogs! Dig! And Fast!" A group of their guard dogs appeared and began to dig up the gems, yelping and barking as they did so. Rarity just smiled, pleased with herself, but not for long.

"She won't dig," Fido proposed, "She pulls." They then grabbed a rusty harness that was connected to wagon and brought it towards her.

"I beg your pardon," said Rarity as she diamond dogs roughly put the harness on her, "but what, pray tell, are you doing?"

"Others will dig," Fido answered, "You will haul wagon."

"Prrrecious pony-pedi will be preserved," said Spot, thinking they had overcome Rarity's hoof issue.

"Well, somepony certainly needs proper nail care," Rarity retorted as she notices the diamond dog's sharp, uneven claws as they were holding her still to secure the harness, "When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things!"

"Please be quiet!" Rover snapped, getting in her face.

"Good heavens, what is that smell?" Rarity asked disgusted.

"Smeeeeeell?" Rover said slowly, exhaling a terrible stench into Rarity's face. Rarity managed to keep her composure despite the disgusted cloud of bad breath.

"Ah, mystery solved," said Rarity simply, "it's your breath." Rover looked stunned as he exhaled into his hand and took a sniff. He stiffened a bit before getting very irritated.

"Enough!" Rover snapped, "Search, pony!"

"Well, since insist," said Rarity as she began to mark down dig spots for gems as she pulled her cart about while the guard dogs continued to dig the gems up. However, Rarity made it her mission not to keep her mouth shut, "But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stifling, suffocating. And I when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all your dogs makes me nauseated."

It was then some dogs that were digging got a huge stalactite from the ceiling to crash down on them.

"You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks," said Rarity as she passed by two more guard dogs, "Haven't you all heard of soap? You all could use a good round of soap and water." The two dogs sniffled their armpits, only to stiffen and pass out.

"Oh water, oh water, I'm terribly thirsty," Rarity demanded, "Could I please have some water?" The three main diamond dogs were gritting their teeth and covering their ears from Rarity's talking.

"Good gracious, I can't take this anymore," Spot snapped, "Be quiet, pony!"

"And that's another thing," Rarity added indignantly, "I would appreciate if you stopped calling me "pony". I am a lady and I wish to be addressed as such. So you may call me "Miss" or "Rarity" or "Miss Rarity"."

"Enough! Your whining!" said Rover in irritation, "It-it-it hurts!"

"Whining!" Rarity exclaimed, "I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining? Thiiiss iiis whiiining! Oooh, this harness it too tiiight! It's going to chafe. Can't you loosen it? Oooh, it hurts and it's sooo ruuusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's gonna leave a staaain! And the wagon's getting heeeavy. Why do I have to pull it?!" By now Rarity's rants were becoming unbearable. Even Fido had to dive underneath the pile of gems inside the wagon to try and block out Rarity's voice. The other dogs were covering their ears with painful expressions on their faces.

"Aaah!" Spot screamed, "Make it stop!"

"Stop whining!" Rover bellowed.

"But I thought you wanted whiiining!" Rarity ranted dramatically.

"Geh! We'll do anything, pony!" Rover pleaded before realizing what Rarity had said before about being called "pony", "Oh, uh, uh, we'll do anything, "Miss Rarity"."

"Anything?" said Rarity dreamily.

One would have thought that Rarity would have used this opportunity to escape, but instead, she had the dogs decorate their cavern with some yellow fabrics. Rarity had two dogs fanning her while she drank some water from a gold cup.

"This water is hardly sparkling," said Rarity with a sigh, "But I suppose it will have to do." As she relaxed with her water, the three main diamond dogs were busy pulling the wagons loaded with gems.

"Wait!" said Rover panting from the heavy wagon, "Why are we doing this?"

"To stop the awful noises from the pony's mouth, remember?" Spot answered with a whine.

"Yes, yes, I know," Rover replied, "This is ridiculous! Letting a pony order us around. What are we? Mice or Dogs?"

"Mi...dogs?" Fido and Spot answered.

"Dogs do not pull," said Rover, "Ponies pull. Let her make the awful noises." The other diamond dogs nodded in agreement. They made their way towards Rarity, spilling her water and slapping the harness onto her back.

"What are you doing?" Rarity demanded as she saw her spilt drink and felt the harness on her backside, "Hey, you spilled my drink. Oh!" Then added with a whine, "Not soo tiiight!"

"Ha! Make all the noises you want," said Rover and slapped her flank, "But move while you make them. Hyah mule!"

I don't know what was more offensive: the fact Rover slapped Rarity's flank like she was livestock or the fact he called her a mule.

"Did you just call me a...mule?" Rarity asked, showing she was deeply hurt. Apparently, the latter was more offensive in her opinion.

"Ehh..." said Rover nervously as tears formed in Rarity's eyes.

"Mules are ugly," Rarity said sadly, "Are you saying that I too am ugly?" Rarity knelt on the ground and began to cry loudly.

"What are these noises?" Spot asked dumbly.

"He called me ugly!" Rarity sobbed.

"No! Mule!" Rover corrected, "I said mule!"

"An ugly old mule!" Rarity sobbed, "And it's true! Just look at me. I used to be beautiful, but, but nooow..." Rarity cried harder.

"No, no!" Fido replied, trying to make the crying stop, "You're still beautiful, po...uh, Miss Rarity."

"You're just saying that!" Rarity whined in her tears.

"No, you're still pretty and...and..." Spot stuttered.

"Oh, uh, uh, nice," Rover added, "yeah."

"I don't believe you!" said Rarity, "You never liked me!" She then started to wail.

"Oh, I've had just about enough of this!" Rover groaned as the dog covered their ears to block out Rarity's painful cries.

It was then the other ponies and Spike were in hot pursuit of locating Rarity.

"We're getting close," said Twilight, "I can feel it." They soon could hear Rarity's crying in the distance.

"It's coming from down here," said Spike, "Come on!" They soon arrived at another intersection.

"She must be in there," said Rainbow as she heard the crying at its loudest behind a barred door. Suddenly, they were all surprised as some guard dogs, also called mook dogs, jumped on top of them.

"Hey!" Mario exclaimed as he and the other five ponies were muzzled.

"More workhorses," the mook dogs said.

"Hoh, doggies," said Applejack, "If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride. Come on, ponies. Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down." The other ponies wasted no time acting like bucking broncos and within seconds, they knocked all the mook dogs off their backs, including the muzzles, except for Twilight, who still was wearing her muzzle. The mook dogs growled at them.

"Time for my redemption," said Mario, "Come on! Spike, you said you wanted save Rarity." The two charged the pack of mook dogs. The other five ponies just gasped, unsure of what Mario and Spike were going to do as Mario transported himself, Spike, and the mook dogs to a battle setting with his magic.

"Let's a-go!" said Mario.

"Okey-dokey!" added Spike.

(cue favorite RPG battle music again)

With Mario and Spike on the left, with their five friends behind them. The six mook dogs stood menacingly at the right. Spike noticed something.

"I don't think we can stomp these guys," said Spike as he pointed at the mook dog's spikey helmets.

"Not a problem," said Mario as he reached into his saddle bags and handed Spike a large black hammer.

"Sweet," said Spike, clutching the hammer close as a grinding smile appeared on his face. Mario grabbed his own as he walked up to one of the mook dogs, reeled back...glowed for a second...

WHAM!

In one strike, the dog poofed...showing the dog was out of the battle before it could even attack.

"My turn!" said Spike as he went to strike. Spike reeled back, glowed for a second.

WHAM!

While Spike didn't knock out the dog, it still flinched at the attack. Now the mook dog's took their turn. The dogs created holes in front of both Spike and Mario. They chose their targets to attack, but as they popped up, Mario and Spike whacked them with their hammers. Two of the five remaining dogs, went to Mario. One hit made them poof. Spike only made one dog poof, but he nailed the other two.

"Here we go!" said Mario as he whacked the next dog, making him disappear. Spike then whacked the last dog and the fight was finished.

(Battle end)

"Alright! Yeah!" Mario and Spike cheered as they shared a fist/hoof bump. The other ponies cheered as the fight ended, they returned to their original environment, and the defeated mook dogs ran away.

"Yeehaw! Get along, little doggies!" said Applejack.

"I've never seen a fight like that before," said Rainbow, "that was awesome."

"Eh," said Pinkie bored, "it would have been better if some flagpoles had appeared after the fight showing they gained experience. Or if one of them leveled up and we saw numbers next to them showing their stats going up. Maybe even add a bonus wheel for an additional stat bonus?" Everyone just gave Pinkie funny looks.

"Just my opinion," Pinkie replied plainly.

"You are so random, Pinkie Pie," said Mario with a bored look as he finished putting away the hammers into his saddle bag. Just then they heard some loud crashing and clattering inside the barred door.

"I'm coming for you, milady," said Spike as he hoped on Twilight and broke off a stalactite from the ceiling to create himself a sword, "Hi-ho, Twilight! Away!" He whipped the muzzle that was still on her nose. Twilight glared.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Twilight asked indignantly.

"Please, Twilight," Spike pleaded, "Just give me this."

"Eh...fine," said Twilight with an eye roll. She gave a horse-like neigh and charged through the barred door, which smashed to pieces easily as the rest of the ponies followed behind.

"Lady Rarity," said Spike boldly, "I'm here to save you!" But the moment was interrupted as the three diamond dogs were screaming...for their lives?!

"Save us! Please save us!" they pleaded to the ponies, "Make it stop! Please!"

"Excuse me?" Twilight asked puzzled.

"Wuh?" Mario added in confusion.

"So picky," said Spot.

"And critical," Fido added.

"She won't stop talking," said Spot.

"And crying," said Fido.

"We, uh, give her back," said Rover, "Yes." Rarity then appeared before them with a large wagon loaded with gems.

"Rarity!" said Spike as the others smiled, "You're safe!"

"Why, yes. Hello, girls and Mario," said Rarity, "You arrived just in time to assist me."

"Assist you with what?" Applejack asked puzzled.

"With those," said Rarity as she pointed to wagons loaded to the brim with gems of all shapes, sizes, and colors.

"You're letting her leave with all these...jewels?" Spike asked, his eyes sparkling at them all.

"That's quite a haul," Mario added in amazement.

"Yes," said Rover as he and the other two diamond dogs cowered behind some rocks, "Take them. And her with them."

"Please!" Spot begged. The other ponies just exchanged smiles, hooked themselves up a single cart each. (Even though Mario offered to transfer them all into a long train of his freight cars, they refused.) They then made their way above ground and out of the area.

"I can't believe you found all these gems!" Pinkie Pie told Rarity excitedly.

"Heh, I can't believe you tricked all those dogs," said Rainbow, clearly impressed.

"Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I cannot handle myself in sticky situation," said Rarity, "I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time."

"Point taken," said Mario, "but considering how dirty and smelly the place was..."

"Oh please darling," said Rarity, "I can a handle dirt and bad smells as good as any other pony."

"Guess you're right," said Mario, "You're hooves are coated in dirt." Rarity looked down and noticed how dusty her fore-hooves were. She squealed and began to wave her fore-hooves about.

"Oh, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Get it off! Get it off!" Rarity cried out when everyone else chuckled to themselves. Rarity felt very embarassed and irritated until Mario grabbed a clean cloth and wiped them clean. So clean that they even sparkled.

"Thank you," said Rarity, grateful but still a little embarassed. That was when Twilight chose to speak up.

"I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her what you taught us today," said Twilight.

"Me?" Rarity asked curiously, "What did I teach you?"

"Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak," Twilight explained, "In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all."

"Hm..."Outshines" is right," said Spike as he was munching on a red gem inside of Rarity's cart, "Now you two have enough gems to cover Sapphire Shore's costumes."

"Not if you eat them all, Spike," said Rarity as she used her magic to pull the half-eaten gem away as Spike ended up banging his teeth onto nothing. The other ponies laughed.

"Hey, Rarity," said Mario once the laughter died down, "I wanted to..."

"Stop right there, Mario," said Rarity, "I don't blame you at all for being captured. Those diamond dogs were tricky and you were willing to risk getting hurt to protect me. I am very grateful to you and Spike for finding me, as well as the others." Mario just nodded and smiled as they continued their journey back to Ponyville.

Ironically, the idea of spending hours creating gem studded outfits sounded very relaxing.

I apologize of I seemed to have over did it with the Mario RPG references here, but the newest Mario and Luigi game come out today. I'll ease off until I find it more convenient to put these little parodies in.

Peace Pony Fans!