Sunset's Shimmer
Chapter 5: Loyalty
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My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer
Chapter 5: Loyalty
Two months ago, I would have told the Rainbooms that their singing was terrible. That they have no sense of rhythm, cohesion, melody, tonality, and that the lyrics Twilight is singing are asinine.
Because I'm a different person than the one I was two months ago, I don't tell them any of these things. But that's my assessment nonetheless, as Twilight and the Rainbooms try once again to get her song to work.
Hey, hey, listen.
We've got a message for you.
We're not all alike.
But our friendship is true.
I've had a headache ever since I woke up this morning, and Twilight's off-key singing isn't helping. Nor the dissonant melodies that come from the girls' instruments. Along with Spike, I cover my ears and turn the speaker down as a high-pitched noise emanates from them. But while my ears are closed, my eyes aren't, and I can see that for all of Twilight's unease, she isn't the only one who's feeling so. I watch as Fluttershy briefly gets into 'the zone,' playing her tambourine with vigour until Rainbow shoots her a glance. I watch as Applejack and Rarity stop playing, before shooting Pinkie a glance, who's lying on her drums fiddling with her drumstick. She picks up the beat, but only physically, and not in spirit. No-one's having fun, and it's affecting their performance.
You may think you're in control.
But we're here to prove you wrong.
With our friendship and our music.
With the power of our song.
The song has no power, I reflect. I can see how this is a counter-spell, how the lyrics are aimed at the sirens directly, but nonetheless, they're…basic, I reflect. I'm hardly a composer, my experiments in the music room notwithstanding, but this song is broken. That's the only way I can describe it.
Gonna stomp our feet, clap our hands,
With the magic of friendship,
Gonna stop your evil plan.
The song comes to an end. Only Rainbow seems to be having fun, as she provides a bit of life with her guitar, even starting to pony up, but it's too little, too late. The song ends, like a car running on fumes before dying, leaving only silence. And in the barn, silence is all that remains. An awkward silence that I can relate to all too well.
"Eh, that sounded way better than the last…five times you've played it," Spike ventures awkwardly.
"Nope," comes the voice of Big Mac, Applejack's brother, as he passes by outside.
I can't debate that opinion. I want to say something, but I have no idea how to go about this. I'm not even part of the band.
You never will be.
"I think it's pretty obvious what's going wrong with this counter-spell," says Rainbow Dash.
"You're turning what should be the chorus into a five minute guitar solo?" Applejack shoots back.
"I have to pick up the slack somehow! Are you guys even trying?!"
"I'm trying," whispers Fluttershy.
"It's fine," Twilight says, sounding like she's trying to convince herself as much as the band. She laughs nervously. "It'll be fine. One more time from the top!"
Given the looks on the girls' faces, they're clearly not keen on that idea.
I feel terrible. For Twilight, for the girls, and at myself, for not knowing what to say. Because looking at them, at the awkwardness that's grown between them, I want to say that it's not a case of not trying hard enough. It's not even entirely attributable to the lyrics. Because I've seen the girls do better than this. Only two days ago they were singing Better Than Ever, and were better than ever. But now? What's happened?
"Maybe we should take a short break, try on some of the wardrobe choices I put together," Rarity says, coming to the rescue. She pulls out a rack of clothes that she's designed, all of them, to borrow her words, "fabulous."
Says the person who's wearing the same black leather jacket for three years.
I tug at my jacket – yeah, it's the same one I arrived in this world with, and the same one I've worn since then. The demon's right about one thing, I really need some new attire.
"I'm particularly fond of this one," Rarity continues, drawing out a bright blue rock-and-roll jacket. "Of course, we could always go with something a bit more modern."
"We're tryin' to save our school here. Enough with the costumes!" Applejack exclaims.
"Oh, you can never have enough costumes," Rarity protests.
"She just wants to have fun," says Pinkie. "Isn't that what being in a band is supposed to be about?"
As I watch Pinkie slump over her drums, I can tell that fun is the last thing she's having. Likewise bereft of levity are Rarity and Applejack as they bicker over the former's priorities. Rainbow's idly strumming her guitar strings, Twilight's pacing around, looking at the lyrics she wrote down, and Fluttershy looks like she's on the verge of tears. I glance awkwardly at Spike, before also glancing at my watch and-
3pm!
"And how the heck do you think-"
"Guys, you don't have time for this!" I say. "You're supposed to check in the Battle of the Bands in fifteen minutes!"
The girls gasp, and immediately enter a furore of packing up their equipment – one that I join in. All but Twilight, who remains in place, even as Pinkie snatches the microphone from under her chin.
"But…but it's not ready," she says, speaking to herself more than anyone else. If we play our counter-spell in the first round and it doesn't work, the sirens will know what we're up to and make sure we don't get a chance to play it again!"
We screech to a halt, and look at each other awkwardly. I'm not going to bring it up that the song in of itself is flawed, but-
Oh, do be quiet you silly girl, you're not a composer or a performer.
That's true, I reflect sadly. But how can we-
"Then we'll have to buy ourselves some time, so you can keep working on it," Applejack says.
"But how do you propose we do that?" Rarity asks.
"Easy," Rainbow says. "We compete in the Battle of the Bands for real. I take over lead vocals again and we stay alive until the finals. We unleash the counter-spell then." She looks at Twilight. "You'll have it figured out by the finals, right?"
"Of course she will," Spike says. "Twilight Sparkle's never met a problem she couldn't solve. Right, Twilight?"
"Right," she murmurs.
I can tell that something's bothering her, but-
"Great," Rainbow says. Then let's go win us a Battle of the Bands!"
The Rainbooms file out, following her lead. In a way, everything's back to normal. Rainbow's back in control. The band's back together. Or something. I watch as Twilight hesitates, before picking Spike up and following them. She doesn't have any instrument to carry, only her voice. And me? I can't even carry that. Only the feeling that something's terribly wrong, and not just the lyrics. But I don't have time for that, and I can only run out after them. Wondering what it would be like to sing. Wondering how a song of my own would go.
Power…was all that I desired.
But all that grew inside me,
Was a darkness I acquired.
The words are uttered under my breath, followed by:
When I began to fall,
And I lost the path ahead.
That's when your friendship found me,
And it lifted me instead.
"Sunset?"
Gah!
Twilight gives me a look as we approach Applejack's ute. "Did you say something?" she asks.
"Huh? No, no, nothing," I say quickly.
"You sure? I could swear I heard-"
"You heard nothing," I snap. I immediately regret the sharpness, and I laugh awkwardly in a bid to cover it. "I said nothing." I force a smile. "Trust me, you're the band's vocalist, not me."
"Right," Twilight says, as she gets into the car. "'Singing.'"
After a moment of hesitation, I follow suit. Laughter, once so vibrant at Pinkie's, is now nothing but a minor scale, carried on a bitter stave.
Enough of the singing, and enough of the metaphors. Just let the girls do their thing and stay out of it.
The demon's voice rings true. Maybe she really is trying to help me. I stay silent as we head off to Canterlot High nonetheless.
We all do.
When we arrive in the gym, it's not a pretty sight.
I could hear Vice Principal Luna saying something about the competition, and there only being one winner. I could hear the insults being thrown around from outside the door, and now, as we finally enter the room, I can see the entire gym in uproar.
"You don't stand a chance!"
"Your band stinks and you know it!"
"Don't talk the talk when you can't rock the rock."
All this and more forms a terrible music of its own – discordant, syncopated, surreal. I say surreal, because I can see the green mist emanating from the students and reaching the Dazzlings, and I can also see Luna and Celestia just standing there, oblivious to everything. Surreal, because it isn't just the band members who are hurling insults at each other, it's the audience as well. Not cheering for the bands they like, but rather yelling out to the world which bands they want to lose.
Twilight takes point, leading us into the cesspool. Or a gauntlet, I reflect, as the insults keep coming, some of them directed at us. The Rainbooms, to be specific – for once, I'm not the butt of their vocal barbs, but I feel no less terrible for my friends. Rainbow glances at the Dazzlings, seated at the top of one of the gym benches. Smirking at the scene of chaos below them.
"It looks like they're feeding off the negative energy," she says, echoing my own observations.
"That's exactly what they're doing," says Twilight. "We have to perform the counter-spell as soon as possible."
Fluttershy's wringing her hands. "I'm so…so…"
"Nervicited?" asks Pinkie.
"Terrified!" She swallows, holding her tambourine close.
I don't blame Fluttershy – all the girls are terrified. I'm terrified. She's just showing it the most.
"Alright, alright, settle down," says Celestia. I look at the principal – she's standing there, looking out over the hall as if this was all the regular chatter you'd get in an assembly meeting. "The competition will begin in five minutes. First up, Snips and Snails."
The dark looks between the students remain, but at least the hall does quieten down. I look at a poster mounted on the wall, showing the band brackets, and the order they'll be playing in. Our first bracket is against Octavia, a cello player, but we're actually playing second, and-
Not we. They.
Here voice, or my own? It's correct either way. It's the Rainbooms who will be playing, and not me. Nevertheless, I follow them backstage.
The battle has begun.
"My name is MC Ships, and that ain't no lie. My favourite food is like pumpkin pie."
"I'm DJ Snazzy Snails. I like whales. When I go to the beach, I always bring my pails."
So, I think to myself, this is what torture is actually like.
I've never tortured anyone. I've done terrible things, I'm not denying that, but torture? I've never stooped that low. But listening to this rap, or whatever the heck it is…this is torture. My mind has been opened, and become much darker, expanded to the horrific possibilities of the universe. I glance at my friends, and they all have dumbstruck looks on their faces bar Pinkie, who's dancing to the beat, enjoying it. Somehow.
I feel sorry for them, Snips and Snails, as they do their rap upon the stage. They were my lackeys for three years, and yes, they did horrible things as well, but only under my direction. Demon-me even turned them into demons themselves. Like me, they had to repair the damage done after the Fall Formal. So, yes, looking at them now, I feel sorry for them, no matter how bad the rap is.
"Everybody knows my favourite colour is orange," Snips says. "My rhymes are so fly, they're better than…um…"
"Then an orange yo!" Snails continues.
It's over, and even they know it. Up until now, they've interspaced their lyrics with beatboxing, but now, it's only beatboxing, and not good beatboxing at that. So their last lyrics go as thus:
"What do we...What do we do now?"
"Get off the stage, I'd like to leave right now."
"Bam, that just happened!"
"Aw yeah, we out!"
"Snips and Snails outta here!"
To top it off, they drop their microphones – I and all my friends double over, hands to our ears. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the two microphones roll to the edge of the stage, in front of the desk where an unimpressed pair of principals are seated.
"Please do not drop the microphones," Celestia says.
The boys high five and grab them, before walking across the stage towards us. "In your face, Rainbooms!" Snips exclaims, before giving Snails a high five.
"Well," says Applejack as the boys walk out of earshot. "Least we know one group who won't stand in the way of us getting to the finals."
I guess not, but I hope it won't come to that. Soon as Twilight performs the counter-spell, this battle of the bands will be over. Applejack is right about Snips and Snails, but I have to wonder, isn't reaching the finals secondary to stopping the sirens?
"Anyway, let's get ready to rock," Rainbow says, strapping her guitar on.
"Wait!" exclaims Pinkie in a sudden panic. "Where's Rarity?"
Yeah, where is she? I look around, and-
"I'm here, I'm here!" comes Rarity's voice, as she runs towards us.. She slows down, panting, and it's not just from physical exertion, it's from what she's wearing. She's dressed like a hippie, with a long skirt and a metallic fringed blouse – Bohemian chic, I understand is the term. But my friends just stare, and, yeah, I stare with them.
"We will be performing in front of an audience. I'm not going to wear something fabulous?" She asks.
"Guh," is all Applejack says, putting a hand to her face. Looking at her expression, I can tell that she wants to say a lot more, but there isn't time. The girls head on stage.
"Good luck," I call out."
No-one responds. I stand there, in the wings, watching them set up. Wanting to say something. Wishing I could be there.
You know you're not good enough, right?
Yeah, I think. I suppose I'm not.
But they're my friends. I'm loyal to them. Even if moral support is all I can offer.
We've just got the day to get ready,
And there's only so much time to lose.
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party,
So let's think of something fun to do.
It's like night and day compared to the barn yard performance, and it's not because Twilight's on back-up vocals. If anything, her singing is better than I've ever heard it so far. It's not even that the lyrics are better, or the tone, the rhythm, or any other musical factor, even though the song Shake Your Tail is better than the counter-spell lyrics in all those areas. No, the reason that it works is that…well, it works. All the Rainbooms look at ease. They look like they're having fun. And that, more than anything, is translating into better music.
Makes me want to join them even more.
But that hasn't happened. Maybe it'll never happen. But for now, I stand on the edge of the stage, getting a clear view of my friends, and also the crowd. All of them standing in icy silence. And-
Huh?
Something's wrong with Rarity. She's still singing, but her arms are raised upwards, no longer playing her keytar. Two magnets have been lowered from above the stage and attached themselves to the metal on her blouse, forcing her to stumble around like a mannequin. I can't see who's doing it, but I look towards Luna and Celestia – surely they can see what's happening.
Maybe they can. But they still sit there in silence. Even as the magnets send Rarity stumbling into Applejack, causing her to miss a note.
I've got to do something, but what? The Rainbooms are still performing, the song is still intact, but they're one band member down. But it's not only the principals who are unfazed, it's the students as well. Still with their stares of contempt. I can see Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle making exaggerated snoring sounds. "Boring!" Applebloom yawns, loud enough for me to hear it.
It's like I'm back in the gym again from two days ago…
So what you didn't get it right the first time?
Laugh it off, no-one said it is a crime.
Do your thing, you know you're an original.
Your ideas are so funny that they're criminal.
The song goes on, and Pinkie fires a stream of confetti from her drums. No idea how, not sure why. Maybe to lighten the mood? If so, it isn't working. I see Twilight cough, as a piece of confetti enters her throat, only removed after Fluttershy hits her on the back with her tambourine. I see Flash and his band storm off, Flash giving a glare that can't be likened to ice, but rather, poison. Twilight and Fluttershy return to singing, but both of them cast an uneasy glance at each other – Fluttershy plays her instrument a bit less vivaciously, and Twilight…Twilight seems like she's on the verge of tears.
I want to help her. I want to help all of them, but how? What if I make things worse than they already are? Because, yes, things are getting worse, as one of the spotlights from above the stage suddenly focuses on Fluttershy, putting her in the spotlight literally and figuratively. As much as she moves from side to side, it follows her. She runs from one side of the stage to the next, the Rainbooms giving her odd glances even as they keep the song up. It's Applejack who gets the worst of it, who has to deal with Fluttershy coming from one direction, and Rarity the other.
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight,
Shake your tail, shake your tail!
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight,
Shake your tail, shake your tail!
Still the song goes on, even as Fluttershy hides behind Pinkie's drums. Even as Rarity falls to the ground, the fabric of her blouse having been ripped off by the magnets. She breaks down, crying, while the remaining Rainbooms do what they can to finish the song. Even as Applejack gives Rarity a glare that is almost as poisonous as the one gave Twilight. Even as Twilight's vocals end with a whimper, and Rainbow remains front and centre, yet giving her band-members uneasy glances. "Picking up the slack," I suppose, in a song that should never have slacked to begin with.
Failure.
I hear her voice again, and she's right. I could have done something. Should have done something. But I didn't, and the song ends, only to be met with the sound of hostile silence. Well, not quite – both Luna and Celestia clap enthusiastically – apparently the sirens' spell isn't so powerful that they're immune to quality. But it's two pairs of hands when it should be many more.
"Sunset?" Spike asks, looking up at me while the Rainbooms begin packing up their instruments. "What the heck just happened?"
I sigh and pick him up, giving him a pat on the head. "Something bad Spike," I say. "Something bad."
"Ruined. Absolutely ruined!" Rarity exclaims.
She's the first Rainboom to get off the stage – tears are running down her cheeks, taking her mascara with them. Applejack comes off second, and is fuming. "Rarity, were you tryin' to make us lose out there?"
"Wh…oh!" she exclaims, turning around and glaring at Applejack. "This was not my fault. This was an act of sabotage."
She's right, I think – the magnets were there for everyone to see and-
"Yeah, well, whoever did this couldn't have done this if you didn't insist on dressing like…like this!" Applejack gestures towards Rarity's costume. "We need to sound good. Is there some reason that concept escapes you?"
Spike and I exchange an uneasy glance. It's one we extend to Twilight, who exited the stage last. She, at least, isn't blowing a casket, but she's very much in the minority, as Rainbow, piece of confetti in hand, is going on at Pinkie.
"And what was with the confetti Pinkie Pie?" she snaps. "How am I supposed to shred if there's paper stuck in my frets?"
"It was pretty distracting," Fluttershy chimes in.
"Oh!" Pinkie retorts, turning on Fluttershy. "Says the girl who was running from a light the whole time. A light!"
This is all wrong – I've never seen my friends act this way. Two months ago, even after everything I'd done, they were the ones who were there for me, the only people in Canterlot High willing to give me a second chance. Two days ago, there was still some unease, but they were singing Better Than Ever, and sounding like it. But this? I've never seen such venom come out from their mouths. I open my mouth, and-
Don't push it.
…and close it, as I reconsider my words. Obviously they're just stressed, so I say, "you still sounded much better than most of the other bands. I'm sure you'll make it to the next round." The girls stop arguing and look at me. "But it won't matter if you don't have the counter-spell ready."
Murmurings come from the group – all of them bar Twilight, who's oddly silent. "You all find a place to practice where the sirens can't hear you," I continue. "I'll keep an eye on things around here."
As if on cue, I see Derpy come out with two fellow classmates on stage, as their performance begins. Their music is...well, it's the type of music that comes from a triangle, a musical saw, and a wood block. Not that complex melodically, but my friends nod, and head out. Maybe it's my words, maybe it's the music, but either way, they've calmed down. Spike gives a small yelp and bounds off after Twilight. I smile, and let out a sigh, letting the music of the Ditzy Doos wash over me.
I still don't know what caused my friends to freak out like that – I mean, someone was obviously trying to sabotage them, yet they were looking at each other for blame. But, hey, crisis averted. So while they get to prepare the counter-spell, all I have to do is make myself useful.
Good luck with that.
I ignore my voice and head out into the corridor.
My friends were on the verge of tearing each other apart. I can't let her do that to me from the inside.
"The next band to take the stage will be Trixie and the Illusions."
I'm in front of the door that leads to the wings from the main corridor. The sirens will have to pass through here – they're on after Trixie. And sure enough, here they come – swaggering down the hallways as if they own the place. As if they've already won. I frown, as I see their smirks – those stupid grins, above all else, are what get to me. Bright white teeth that hide their fangs.
Or do you hate them because it's how you used to smile?
I shut her voice out as they approach. I'm leaning against the wall, arms folded. They've got the whole school in their thrall, but not me. And I'm damn well going to tell them that.
"You're never gonna get away with this," I say bluntly.
It feels good to take a stand. It's like there's a shield between me and them – I'm already immune to their magic. What could they possibly do now?
"Why?" Adagio sneers. "Because you didn't?"
My eyes widen, and the shield shatters. What?
"Oh we know all about you Sunset Shimmer," Adagio says, as she and her cronies walk towards me. They start to circle me, like timber wolves would a filly. "You've got quite the reputation at Canterlot High."
"I've changed, I'm in a much better place now," I protest.
Aria Blaze laughs. "Waiting in the wings while your 'friends' have all the fun onstage?"
I begin rubbing my hands together awkwardly. It's all mind games, I tell myself. I'm loyal to my friends. I have to help them and…
"Oh yes," snickers Adagio. "You girls are so tight. And yet, they didn't ask you to be in the band."
That…I mean, well, I can't play…well, I sort of can…maybe…but it's not like-
"Probably afraid no-one would want to see them play if she was in the group," says Aria.
That…that's not true. I mean…
"Too bad, so sad," bursts out Sonata.
The shield hasn't just been shattered. It's been pulverized. Once, I'd folded my arms in confidence. Now, I want to draw them around me, to hide away from the world.
You know it's true.
Her voice, I can barely distinguish it from the sirens. For what is her voice if not reality? I mean, they're right – I never asked to be in the band, but I was never offered the position either. Not even when Twilight got in. No hand extended, no offer given. I've stuck with them as best I could, showed my loyalty, and yet, nothing. Right now, they're perfecting a song to defeat the sirens, while I'm left alone. I was alone when I came to this world. I was alone when they extended their hands to me, even if I temporarily forgot what loneliness was. And worst of all, when this is all over, I'll be alone again. Kept at arm's length. Despised by the school as the lesser of two evils.
"If it's any consolation," Adagio says, as if reading my thoughts, "no-one is going to remember you at all by the time we're done."
Laughing, they stride past me, Adagio and Sonata knocking me with their shoulders for good measure. I clutch my left arm in pain – pain that comes from within, not from without. The pain of knowing that everything they said is true. I'm not in the Rainbooms, I can't help them, and no-one will ever forget what I did at this school. I lean against the wall, and take a deep breath – the only way to keep the tears from coming out.
It's like the aftermath of the Fall Formal, but worse. Back then, all I had lost was a dream of power. Now, I've lost something more beautiful – hope. I can't help but feel that the sirens winning, and being remembered by no-one, would be a happier ending for me.
Trixie and her band sound out from the stage, while I remain in the alcove. In the dark.
Alone.
This all began on Tuesday. The Battle of the Bands began on Thursday. By Friday afternoon, I know what Hell is like.
There's a total of sixteen bands participating in the competition, progressing through simple brackets. This was meant to be a musical showcase with each of those bands playing once, but a tournament means that some bands will have to play multiple times. So, by the end of Thursday, there were eight remaining. Today will see that number whittled down to two in the gym, while this night, a concert will be held in the school's outdoor amphitheatre. The place where the musical showcase was originally going to be held, under the basis of sixteen single performances occurring, but will now be the final battlefield. Luna and Celestia may be in the sirens' thrall, but even they can appreciate that there's no way to fit in thirty performances over the course of a single day. But having watched one and half days unfold before my eyes, I suspect that this has played into the sirens' hands as well. Drag out the war. Drag out the hatred. Drag that green mist that's pouring into their pendants constantly, elevated every time a song is played. As they stated in their first song, "you didn't even know that you fell, now that you're under our spell."
And they were right. Because I still saw how they performed their first song, how they swayed side to side as they sung. How the entire school swung along with them, entranced – a sharp contrast to the jeers and boos that accompanied every other performance I've seen. I've told my friends about this, but they barely care, so desperate as they are to keep in the game, and finish the counter-spell.
Friends. Hah!
I still hear her voice, even as The Flashlights (Flash's band) sing Love in a Flash, in a world where love has disappeared. I hear her voice, and tell myself that despite what she and the Dazzlings said, I'm loyal to my friends. We're all in this together.
Keep telling yourself that. You know what you saw.
Yeah, I reflect, as Flash's song comes to an end, and the boos come again. I have.
I've seen Canterlot High at its most vicious. I've seen the Dazzlings enrapture everyone except my friends and me. And most disturbing of all, not even the Rainbooms appear immune to it. Nothing on the scale of the malaise that's gripped the school, but…little things. Every time I see them on stage, they look on edge. Unhappy. Unhappy in different ways – I can hear a waver in Twilight's voice. I can see Fluttershy beat her tambourine with less and less enthusiasm. Pinkie beats her drums apathetically, while Applejack and Rarity appear to be in the midst of a feud, shooting each other glances as they play. Only Rainbow is giving it her all. I can't deny that she's an excellent guitar player, but I can't forget what happened at the end of Thursday. In the first bracket, the Rainbooms were paired against Octavia – yes, this is a battle of the bands, but soloists still exist, and Octavia's playing was excellent. As the results were laid out on the billboard showing the brackets, Octavia, showing more dignity than anyone else, simply packed up her cello and headed out. I don't know how she managed it with the poison the sirens have infected on this school, but what did Rainbow Dash call out to her?
"Take a hike, loser."
I could accuse Rainbow Dash of many things. Until now, cruelty was never among them.
So Friday has come, and hell continues. I see the Rainbooms in-between acts, bickering over every little thing that went wrong. Coming in too late, playing out of tune, not 'giving it your all.' Every little slight blown out of proportion, with only Twilight staying out of it. Twilight, always with her notebook, scribbling away furiously. Twilight, who glances at the group every now and then, but always returns to her notebook as it's clear the Rainbooms are more focused on the competition and their slights than the counter-spell. Twilight, who looks like she's on the verge of tears. Eventually, I approach her and ask, "you okay?"
"Fine," she says, not even glancing at me.
"Come on Twilight, I-"
"I said I'm fine!" she yells, glaring at me with enough ferocity to make me think she's actually fallen under the Dazzlings' spell. But only for a moment, as the fire disappears from her eyes, leaving only water. "Fine," she whispers. "Don't worry about me."
I do. But the Rainbooms are on next. There's no question that they're going to play Friendship Through the Ages – a song that feels as out of place as Love in a Flash did.
"Nothing stays the same for long," I hear Twilight sing from stage. "But when it changes doesn't mean it's gone. Time will always get away. As it leaves behind another day."
Time is going, slipping away from me. As the song ends, as my friends storm off-stage, as the bickering and sniping continues, I can't help but feel that a lot is slipping away from us other than time.
"Hey guys," I call out awkwardly. "You sounded-"
"For Pete's sake Pinkie, if I hear you out of beat one more time I'll-"
"Says the girl who keeps hijacking the music!"
"Hijacking?! What do you mean hijacking?!"
"I think-"
"No-one asked you Fluttershy!"
"Rarity, are you trying to play syncopated, or are you just that bad?"
"Applejack, if you don't be quiet right now I'll-"
"Do what? Cry again?"
I want to say something. Try to say something. But I hold back. Who am I to tell them about how they're acting? I was a monster. A real, bona fide monster. I'm the last person who should be lecturing anyone about friendship. So even as Spike glances at me, as if asking for help, I excuse myself. "I'll be back," I call out, hoping for a response. I get none.
As I head down the hall, I can hear them bickering still. Shouting, even. I hear that, and the laughter of a demon. And the final words of their last song.
Things may come and things may go.
Some go fast and some go slow.
Few things last, that's all I know.
But friendship carries on through the ages.
I can only hope that's true. But I can't offer friendship when I know it's not wanted nor needed. Instead, all I have to offer is my loyalty to a band that would be booed off the stage if I was involved, and what little titbits of information I can impart.
Useless, I think to myself. Absolutely useless.
The demon agrees.
I'm outside the school in the courtyard. Alone, with nothing but the sound of an autumn wind, and my footsteps on the pavement. I stick my hands in my pockets and draw my jacket in close, shivering as I feel the fingers of winter encroach into the world. More cold than I was inside, yet it was there that ice first entered my heart.
Oh quit the melodrama.
I try to ignore her and walk to the statue. The Wondercolt, in all its glory, a stone-hard foundation in a school that has lost it. Aspiration, compassion, respect…gone. Flung to the same wind that blows over me, from the hands of the sirens' song.
Very poetic.
I wince, and look at the base of the statue. Slowly, I stick my hand forward, to where Twilight first emerged. It slips through the marble, the surface becoming akin to a swirling pool. The portal's still there, I think. I glance around the courtyard, seeing no-one around. Everyone's in the school, watching a competition that had begun as a beacon of friendship and fair play, now transformed into the opposite. A transformation that has consumed my friends as well. It would be so easy to slip through into Equestria, to leave this all behind. I couldn't expect a welcome there, but it would be better than this place. Because the Dazzlings were right – if they win, no-one will remember what I did. If they lose, everyone will go back to remembering.
Do it.
Is it her voice, or my own? I don't know where she begins and I start anymore, provided there's even a divide. But nonetheless, I take a breath, and begin moving towards the portal. Celestia is on the other side, and I know nothing I do will mend the hurt between us. But better than this place. Better than-
Don't.
I blink – there's something in the portal. Or beyond the portal. It looks like an alicorn…like something I saw in the mirror…it almost looks like me, I think, as I stick my first hand in and-
Don't!
…draw away, at the last moment. I spin around, putting a hand over my eyes, catching the tears before they fall. Coward, I think to myself, as I look back at the statue. Coward coward coward!
It stands there, the Wondercolt. No sign of the portal now, just that big stupid horse. Towering above me, cold, unfeeling, a horse in this world of humans, mocking me about home, looking down at me, sneering at me, despising me like everyone else in this bloody school and-
And I scream, running towards the statue, wishing I had my magic. Wishing I could blow the damn thing to pieces. A crowbar, a hammer, anything! I kick its base, and regret it. I punch its stone, and regret it even more. I yell, I scream, and I nonetheless keep hitting the damn thing. Hoping to see stone bleed. Hoping, beyond hope, that this will end. That once the counter-spell works, I'll be accepted. By my friends. By everyone.
"Damn you," I whisper, nursing my fist, its flesh raw. "Damn you."
I glance around the courtyard. No-one's around bar DJ Pon, who's walking around like the school isn't in the thrall of a trio of monsters. She doesn't even give me a glance despite all my cursing. Maybe it's because she never takes off her headphones. Sighing, I sit down on the grass, and cast my gaze back on the statue.
Weak.
I can hear her. See her, within the stone. A demon. One of four that plagues me.
"Go away," I mutter.
Where are your friends? She sneers. Weren't you with them last time?
I remain silent, as I think back to two days ago. When the Rainbooms and I were sitting here, waiting for Twilight. Things weren't that great then, but still, at least I was with them.
Why are you helping them? she asks
"Thought you said I was useless."
They haven't even asked you to join the band.
"The Dazzlings told me why. And…" I sigh. "I'm loyal to them."
Lapdog, she sneers. Friends that you're 'loyal' to. How considerate of them to let you bask in their shadow. How generous to let you tag along. She bears her teeth, fangs and all. Is that friendship, Sunset? Is it kindness? Tell me, once the sirens are defeated, do you honestly think that any of this is going to change? Do you think that insipid song you have in you will ever be played?
I get to my feet – the semi-finals will begin soon, and I have to be there for the Rainbooms.
Have to be there. How nice you finally have a sense of obligation.
I keep walking, gritting my teeth, shivering from the touch of the breeze, and her claws within my mind. I wonder if I fled into Equestria she'd follow me. At least in Equestria I'd have magic at my side. And likewise, I wonder what stopped me from going. Courage? Cowardice? Loyalty?
I don't know.
When I get back, I pass through the gym, glad on one level that no-one is giving me the stares they did on Tuesday. On another level, I'm perturbed by the fact that the stare in every student's eyes can only be described as 'hollow'. Like the thralls I once transformed them into, only this time, with enough intelligence left over for cruelty. And anger. Because on the tournament board, I see that the Dazzlings have beaten the Flashlights, and Flash Sentry, as he throws his hands up in the air and storms off, is clearly not very happy about that (or his fellow band members for that matter). Looking at the board, I see that the Rainbooms have made it to the semi-finals. All they have to do is beat The Illusions. So I head backstage, and find my friends getting ready. Apart from Spikes, who's in good cheer, they look tense. On edge. And I don't think it's just due to nerves.
"Well, this is it," I say to them. "Last round and you're in the finals." I look at Twilight. "Unless you think the counter-spell is ready to be played now."
The look on Twilight's face tells me that the answer is "no."
"Don't worry Twilight," Applejack says. "Finals aren't until tonight. We'll get in a little more practice before we're supposed to hit the stage. We won't let you down."
The Rainbooms add in a chorus of affirmations, and I smile. Not just because of their support for Twilight, but that they seem to be back to their old selves, all slights forgotten. But my smile fades as I see Twilight look aside, as I hear her whisper, "you won't let me down."
I frown – I want to ask her something, but I overhear Fluttershy talking with Rainbow.
"Um, I was just wondering," she says. "We haven't played any of my songs yet, and-"
"It's the semi-finals," Rainbow interrupts. "We gotta do Awesome as I Wanna Be."
"Don't know why I even asked," Fluttershy mutters darkly.
The cracks have returned. I want to say something, but I know my place. I'm just the lapdog.
But I have to do what I can for them, however little that is.
The Illusions have made it this far into the competition for a reason, and that reason is that they're good. From the wings, I can hear them wrap up their song. I can hear enthusiastic clapping from the audience – they're good enough to momentarily remind the school that this was meant to be a musical showcase, not a competition where backstabbing became a legitimate tactic. But, as good as they are, they don't have Twilight's magic. So we, I mean, the Rainbooms, have got to beat them.
Trixie walks off-stage towards us, a smirk on her face. "You're never going to top that performance, Raingoons," she sneers. "Though if you ask me, you shouldn't be allowed to even try when you have such a big advantage over the rest of us."
I meet her sneer with a scowl, as do the Rainbooms – The Illusions have to be beaten. Now that can be done with satisfaction. But while I'm scowling, Rainbow is meeting Trixie's smirk with her own.
"You mean my superior guitar playing and off-the-charts awesome singing voice?" she asks.
"Oh don't be ridiculous, I mean her," Trixie says, pointing at Twilight, who rubs her neck awkwardly. "If you were really all that, Rainbow Dash, you wouldn't have needed to bring in some magical ringer to have half a chance. Everyone's talking about it."
"Hah, puh-leaze," Rainbow shoots back. "I could win this thing as a solo act, and everybody knows it."
I glance at my friends – they're still scowling, but I don't think they're scowling at Trixie…
"Sure you could," Trixie says, before throwing a pellet down onto the ground. Smoke explodes out, leaving us all coughing and fanning away the smoke. It clears quickly, but by this time-
"She's gone!" Pinkie exclaims.
Sweet Celestia, she is! I've no idea what kind of magic she used, but-
"Oh, there she is."
…or maybe she didn't use magic at all, and only went to hide behind the drums, before running off. Actually, there's no "maybe" about it. Just like there's no "maybe" that if Twilight is the magical ringer, I'm the dead weight.
"Next up, the Rainbooms," comes Celestia's voice over the intercom.
The reason I can't ever go on with them.
"Well, this is it," Applejack says. "Come on y'all."
Fluttershy tries to talk to Rainbow Dash about her song, but Rainbow doesn't even respond. She looks as miserable as I feel, but nonetheless follows the band onto the stage.
"Knock 'em dead Rainbooms," Spike calls out.
"I'll be here," I say, waving them on. "Just…watching."
Awesome as I Wanna Be is a song exactly like it's composer – loud, fast, energetic, and brash. It's the type of song that only Rainbow Dash could have come up with. It begins with a bang, as Pinkie strikes up a drum beat, and an instrumental announces the arrival of Rainbow herself. She's not only the composer, but also the lead singer. Bar a chant of "heys," the only singer.
First you see me riding on a sonic boom,
Got my guitar shreddin' up my latest tune.
There is nothin' you can do to beat me,
I'm so good that you can't defeat me.
I don't only watch, but listen. I see Fluttershy give Rainbow a withering glare, before returning to her tambourine, pounding it apathetically. I see Rainbow move across the stage as she sings, singing right in the faces of Twilight, then Applejack, then Rarity, both of whom make their annoyance clear, if not vocally. I see Pinkie leaning back on her stool and idly hitting her drums, keeping a beat and doing nothing else. Rainbow's the one carrying the song. And the others are letting her. Which would be fine, if not for the fact that I can tell that my friends aren't happy with that.
Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution,
Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be.
Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution,
Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be!
Well, the song's going okay at least, as Rainbow launches into a guitar solo and-
Wait.
This isn't part of the composition. Rarity and Applejack stop completely, glaring at her. Pinkie and Fluttershy still keep beat, if not happily, as Rainbow comes to the front of the stage, and right in front of the principals, strings a tune together. A fast, loud, energetic tune, that has nothing to do with the original song.
Um, Rainbow?
She's wild. She's magnificent. She's playing like she's never played before…and she's derailing the entire song. And not only that, but-
Rainbow?
Ears. A tail. She's ponying up.
Oh no.
They're emerging. Growing. We're not supposed to show the sirens our magic yet. I have to do something. Anything.
Rainbow, stop!
She keeps playing. Her features keep growing. I stop thinking, and let instinct take over. I rush out onto the stage and dive into Rainbow Dash, knocking her into Twilight, who gets knocked into Rarity, who falls, kicking Applejack's bass, which goes flying into the air before impaling itself in one of Pinkie's drums. The lights flash on, and Fluttershy lets out a scream before running offstage In a manner of seconds, I saved the performance – I can see Rainbow's ears receding. In less time than that, I realize that I've also ruined it.
And I realize that I've never seen anything like the glare Rainbow gives me, as her eyes meet mine, not even after the Fall Formal. I realize that Rainbow Dash can be brash, egotistical, even arrogant, but fundamentally, a good person. A better person than I could ever be. But never could I have expected to see her glare at me like that. Never could I have expected to see this kind of fire in her eyes. Never could I have expected to feel this kind of emotion from her. The emotion of outright hatred.
Behold the price of loyalty, the demon whispers.