Chapter 9: The Birthday Eve Mishap Part 1

Ever watch that episode of The Simpsons where nobody knows who shot Mister Burns and you had to wait until the next episode to find out who it was? Or any other example would work too, The Simpsons is just iconic. Anyway that's what we're doing here. Except for the fact that nobody get's shot and not everyone is yellow.

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Chuck's Tavern

"Oh man, oh man, oh man oh man oh man." I thought to myself In the back office of my bar. It wasn't the fact that Nothing was ready, no, Cheese Sandwich had done an absolutely marvelous job getting the party ready, what I was sweatin' and frettin' about was the fact that everything had to go right tomorrow. I'm still a Murphy after all, and us people have a law named after us for a reason. Nothing had gone awry so far though so I suppose that's a good thing... Let's just hope it stays that way. I was thinking about all this while watching this little toy bird dip into a cup of water over an over. That little bastard doesn't know how simple he gets it. Suddenly I hear a knock on the door.

I say "Who is it?"

"It's Quibble." The voice said.

"How do I know for sure?" I asked.

"I hate you." He said dryly.

"That'll do." I said. "Come on in." He entered, with saddlebags strapped to his back.

"Look, loofah mane, I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving." He said. "I thought about it, but I think it's for the best that I mosey on out of here."

"Why are you telling me?" I asked.

"Simply because Cheese wouldn't understand if I told him, time has proved that over and over again. So I just need you to tell him for me, It's nothing personal against anypony, it's business." He concluded. I arched my eyebrow ever so slightly.

"You intend to ditch one of the few ponies who've treated you like not only a friend, but a best friend without even telling him yourself?" I asked. "Where I come from, that is considered a 'dick move'." I say.

"Foul language isn't exclusive to where you're from, loofah mane." He said. "And don't think this isn't difficult for me, trust me, it is." He said, I could tell he was actually being sincere there.

"I can tell you meant that..." I started. "I'll let him know. And for the love of any and every possible Deity out there my name is Chuck." I said.

"Alright Chuck. Thanks." He walked out the door. I don't blame him completely, a job opportunity is a job opportunity. But I know Cheese won't take this very well, he had told me he was excited to finally spend some time with his supposed 'best friend'. Maybe this is all the Murphy's Law that will affect me, here's hoping.

"Can't get much worse from here." I said to myself, maybe I knew that that was gonna be comedic irony, maybe I didn't.

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Ponyville: Noon

Pinkie Pie and the rest of the Mane 6 were walking through the streets, everypony (bar Pinkie of course) already knew about the plan for the party.

"So then he says 'I'll keep that in mind cupcake.' and I'm thinking 'Cupcake? I mean I understand what he's going for with the sweets and baked goods thing, but that's not all there is to me right? I happen to be a very big classical art fan'." Pinkie Pie said as they were walking.

"When have you ever taken an interest in art?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, I haven't, but I'm not telling him I liked it when he first came up with it. You gotta make him work for it." She said with a wink.

"I don't know about that... maybe the honesty would have been appreciated." Fluttershy said.

"But hey, at least he has some sort of plan right?" Rainbow Dash said.

"I guess, I mean I haven't actually seen him since that night!" She said.

"Well that just means he's busy making the party great!" Twilight said.

"Or he up and left town with his tail between his legs." Rainbow joked. Applejack slugged her in the shoulder for that remark. "Hey!" She said in pain.

"Don't worry about a thing Sugarcube, I'm sure tomorrow will be perfect." Applejack said. (Sugarcube counter: 3? Lets see how many more show up...)

"I hope you're right." Pinkie said. The others exchanged winks.

---

Chuck's Tavern

Cheese walked into the bar, oh boy, I had to tell him, and I had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy. But hey, what is? Well, plenty of things, just not this.

"Hey Cheese." I said.

"Hiya Chuck! You ready to get everything finalized?" He asked.

"I sure am..." I said.

"Say, have you seen Quibble? He was already up and at it by the time I woke up." He said, oh brother.

"Yeah.. He stopped by, look, Cheese, I don't know how to tell you this... But..."

"What?"

"He left." He arched a eyebrow.

"Whadyya mean?" He asked.

"He left for Califoalnia. I wish I was joking, really." His face drooped like that half of Popeye's face, but on both sides.

"And he didn't tell me huh?" He asked.

"Yeah.. He told me to say he was sorry." That was a lie I know, but I thought it would help.

"Oh... I see."

"Do you need a moment?" I asked.

"No... but I do need an ah, C please." He said.

Me: Ahhh ahh ahh ahhhh ahhhh ahhh ah

Ahh ahh ah ah ah oooh ooh oooh doo wop

Cheese: Well I heard that you're leavin'

Me: Leavin...

Cheese: Gonna leave me far behind.

Me: So far behind

Cheese: This new life is more impotant

You decided it's the best you can find

So I pulled your name out of my roller decks

And I tore all your pictures in two

And I burned down the malt shoppe where we used to go

Just because it reminds me of you!

Me: doopity doopity doo. You.

Cheese: That's right

You ain't gonna see me crying

I'm glad, you've found somethin' else to do

Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass

Than spend one more minute

With you.

Me: Ah ah ah ahh

Cheese: I guess I might seem kind of bitter.

To be fair, I wish you all the best

You coulda just spoken up any time you needed

Didn't mean to cause ya all of this stress!

Oh so Quibble

Let me help you with that suitcase

You ain't gonna break my heart in two

Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand papercuts on my face

Than spend one more minute with you.

/

I'd rather be a gem on a hungry dragon's plate

Than see your dirty muzzle here again

Me: Oh Ohh oh

Cheese: I'd rather slam my hooves right in a door

Again and again and again and again and again

"Oh can't you see what I'm trynna say here buddy?"

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches

shove an ice pick under a hoof or two

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Canterlot Castle with my tongue

Than spend one more minute with you.

Yes! I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks

Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue

I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double edged razor blades

Than spend one more minute with you-oo-ooh

I'd rather rip my heart out of my rib cage with my bare hooves and throw it on the floor and stomp on till I died...

Than spend one more minute...

With you...

Me: Ooooh...

---

"You gonna be okay?" I asked.

"I guess... I mean, I always knew we were different, but I had always hoped that maybe he would have at least stuck around, I never made a lot of real friends." He said sadly.

"Look, if it's any consolation, I'll be your friend." I said.

"Mean it?" He asked.

"Of course! You're one of the funniest ponies I've ever met, and we made a pretty good duet there huh?" I said.

"Thanks Chuck." He said, starting to feel a bit better, but I could tell deep down he was still really upset.

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Will Quibble get the stick out of his ass and come back? Or is his new job that I never specified more important? Find out on the nice considerably entertaining chapter!

Song used was "One More Minute" By Cheese Sandwich's VA himself, Weird Al Yankovic.