Chapter Three: Picnic Pie

Hahaha! Get it? Picnic Pie? A play on Pinkie in Pinkie Pie and Picnic as in what's happening this chapter? Ah forget it. Lights! Camera! Action!

Sugarcube Corner. My room.

One essential part in the Murphy morning routine is mirror talk, whether human or otherwise. Note that mirror talk works on your confidence when someone else doesn't hear you.

"Oh Yeahhh, Mhmm, Look at that, Groovy baby! Alright alright alright!" I exclaimed in various impressions. I do a good Matthew Mcconaughey. I was in the middle of putting false confidence in my mind when the door burst open.

"Good morning!" Pinkie Pie said bursting through. I almost hit the ceiling in surprise.

"Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Knock next time, I could have been naked…" I looked at myself. "Oh yeah." I said with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry about that." She said with a giggle. "I just heard you talking and thought I'd say good morning!" She said smiling.

"Oh, oh... OH." My eyes widened and my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "You umm… Heard all that, did you?" I said shyly.

"Yeah." She said, barely containing her laughter.

"It's alright, I suppose it is pretty funny." I said blushing. "So anyway, about that picnic." I said, changing the subject. "What time are we meeting?"

"Welllllll, I promised the cakes I'd handle their deliveries for them this morning, hmm, get that to the Ponyville school… um... Carry the two… Let's say noon?" She said.

"Noon works great for me!" I said, honestly any time would have worked, I had no plans.

"Great! See ya then!" She said with a sweet smile. She had a nice smile, sweet, kind, with such nice eyes to compliment it.

"God dammit Murphy, I know that ramble. You sound like you have a crush on her- Ohhh, you do, don't you?" I thought to myself. Pinkie soon realized I definitely had something on my mind. I awkwardly looked at her. "Wonderful! See you soon!" I said with a shy smile

"Alrighty!" She said as she left the room.

I sighed, I did have a crush, didn't I? Or I had "Fall in Love with the First One to be Nice to Me in a New Dimension" syndrome. My family has a history of that. What was I going to do? She probably thought I was a weirdo anyway, now I'm going to be acting like a moron around her because of a crush? And on top of that I have no idea how I got here? Oy! I decided I should go for a walk, take my mind off everything.

Later. Ponyville Streets

As I mentioned earlier, I decided I'd go for a walk, and I'm glad I decided to, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing, it was like that picture perfect morning you always imagine but never see. I already felt better, and I hadn't even been walking for two minutes, I started humming, and soon enough I was singing to myself.

"Somewhere, beyond the sea.

Somewhere, waiting for me.

My lover stands on golden sands,

And watches the ships, that go sailing..." WHAP!

My singing was cut off be a small orange object crashing into my face. My initial reaction was "What the Hell?" Then I noticed the object looking into my eyes. Still attached to my face.

"Ow." I said dryly and somewhat irritated. The small object turned out to be familiar filly Scootaloo.

"Sorry about that…" She said.

"It's okay," I said. "Just remove yourself from my face." I ended, and she jumped down.

"I can explain, see, I've always wanted to fly, and I can't so, well, you see that giant slingshot? Well me and the other Crusaders set it up and tried to see if I could get a good start from that and, well, yeah." She said.

"Hey, look, anything that involves giant slingshots is cool, mind if I take a look at it?" I asked.

"Sure, I- Hey wait a second, Hey girls! Come look at this!" She said pointing at me, at first, I was confused, then I looked at my flank and it all made sense. Blank as my mind during my grade 11 pre-calculous exam, and that was real blank. Anyway, at her call, Applebloom and Sweetie Bell ran over.

"What is it, Scootaloo?" Applebloom asked.

"Chuck doesn't have a cutie mark!" Scootaloo said.

"No cutie mark? But he's a grown up!" Sweetie Bell added.

I flushed red. I didn't know how to explain being an adult without a cutie mark without bringing up the fact that this is only my third day living as a pony.

"About that… uhhh… um…" I started, but was quickly cut off.

"Come on girls! Let's help Chuck get his cutie mark!" Applebloom exclaimed.

"Oh boy." I said somewhat dryly. The others seemed enthusiastic about the idea, considering that they followed Applebloom's lead with a cheer and soon were dragging me by the tail to the clubhouse.

Later, at the clubhouse, Applebloom was standing at her podium while the other two were seated, I was still figuring out how to sit on my ass. Hey, it's hard to figure those things out when you suddenly switch anatomy.

"Now girls, we may be taking on a challenge with Chuck here, but I bet we can figure it out! He'll have his cutie mark in no time." Applebloom stated.

"So, Chuck, do you have any talents? That might give us a good place to start." Sweetie Bell said.

"Well, I'm no Rich Little, but I have a way with impressions." I said somewhat pridefully. It's true, I know my way around a voice, those were always hits at my school's talent shows.

"Who's Rich Little?" All three of them said simultaneously.

"What? How could you not know who Rich Little is? He's the…" I cut myself off. "Oh wait… Never mind." I said acknowledging that these fillies wouldn't know any comedians from other dimensions.

"Right…. Anyway, any other talents?" Scootaloo asked.

"Back where I came from, I was a celebrated entertainer." I said, it's not a lie. I was celebrated! By me.

"Well that sounds like a good place to start." Applebloom said. Suddenly she was cut off by Granny Smith calling that it was time for lunch.

"Lunch time!" The girls chanted.

" Ahh, lunch time, one of my personal favorite parts of the day, lunch… wait… lunch time? Am I forgetting something?" I asked myself. My eyes widened. "Yes I am forgetting something!" I exclaimed as I ran off, thanking the girls for their help. They exchanged confused glances, then left the clubhouse.

I eventually got to Sugar Cube Corner, just in the nick of time too, the moment I got to the steps, I could see Pinkie coming down the road with her cart. I took a moment to catch my breath so it didn't seem like I had forgot about our little rendez vous.

"Hi Chuck!" She said upon seeing me.

"Hiya." I replied. "How were the deliveries?"

"They went good! Except I had this cake I was supposed to deliver to Octavia… but she wasn't answering the door, and I waited for about an hour with no answer. So I figured we'll just take the cake on out picnic and not tell anyone." She said with a wink.

"Sounds good to me!" I said.

Meanwhile…

"Vinyl! For the last time, turn the music down! I'm expecting a delivery and I want to hear the door when Pinkie gets here!" Octavia yelled to Vinyl over the blaring music, warranting no response.

Back at Sugar Cube Corner…

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Pinkie said happily. And with that, we set out for lunch.

Picnic spot

It was a pretty little spot. lake, tree, yeah you know the spot. The sun was shining nice and bright, singing birds... couldn't ask for a better picnic ambiance. There was only one issue. I was being awkward and quiet, luckily for me she broke the silence.

"So I still don't know you well, tell me about yourself." She said.

"Well, lemme see. I'm an entertainer, I spent most of my younger years practicing acting, I sing, dance, tell jokes... oh! check this out!" I took a breather and did my impression of Discord. "Well hello Pinkie Pie, does this voice sound familiar?" My impersonation made her giggle.

"Wow! That was really good! Can you do more?" She asked.

"Eeyup!" I said doing my impression of Big Mac. She laughed in response.

"Wow! Those are really good!" She said though laughter, but suddenly stopped. "Wait, you aren't a changeling, are you?" She asked.

"I can assure you I am not." I said. "I'm just an entertainer."

"Okie Dokie." She said. "How do you like the food?"

"Oh it's great! Best food I've had in a while." I said. It was true, everything tasted just as good as it looked.

"Great! I love picnics, and getting to know new friends!" She said happily.

"Likewise." I said.

"So now that the foods done, want to take a walk?" She asked.

"Of course!" I said getting up.

Ponyville streets

"So then I said "If you want the mustard, you're gonna have to ketchup!" I said laughing. She laughed with me, after all it was a good joke.

"You're hilarious!" She said still gasping from laughter.

"I'm not hilarious, I'm Chuck!" I joked.

"Stop!" She said in laughter.

"Okay okay, wait one more, what do you call a-" I stopped when I saw a building I had never seen before. "Hey Pinkie, do you know anything about a torn up building, broken windows, cobwebs, the whole fixer upper package?"

"I don't know what do you call a- Oh wait, that wasn't a joke was it? Oh that place! I don't really know, it was like that long before I came to Ponyville, I think said it used to be some kind of bar." She said.

"Interesting, you know what it's going for?" I asked.

"Who knows, who wants it?" She asked.

"I do, I've always kind of wanted my own little shack to serve and entertain, y'know?" I said.

"Oh I see- HEY! What the.. You're a blank flank?" She said in surprise.

"What? Oh... yeah.. You shoulda seen the look on The CMC's faces when they saw that, imagine that, a grown stallion with a blank flank..." I said, kind of embarrassed.

"I'm sure it'll come to you, don't worry!" She said happily.

"I know... incoming!" I said noticing a certain mailmare moments from crashing into us. I jumped and pushed Pinkie out of the way.

"Oh, hi Derpy!" Pinkie said sticking her head up.

"Hi! I have a letter for you Pinkie!" Derpy said giving her a letter.

"Thanks! Have a great day!" Pinkie said.

"You too Pinkie." She replied as she flew off. Pinkie opened the letter and read.

"You are invited to attend and participate in the open mic night at The Apple Family Farm, tomorrow night, 8pm, hey! we should go!" She said to me.

"That sounds great!" I said happily.

"Yeah! Hey, maybe you could even perform!" she said.

"I just may." I replied. Was I ready for a show? It's pretty late notice, would ponies even find my comedy funny? Well they worked on Pinkie.. Maybe I will! Yeah, I will.

And that's the end of that chapter, follow, fav, and review! Next chapter: Showtime in Sweet Apple Acres.