Author's Note: The bane of a writer's existence is writer's block, the bane of a fisherman's existence catching quantity laws, the bane of a performer's existence is a bad crowd, what's the bane of a boyfriend- or in this case coltfriend's first Hearthswarming celebration with his marefriend? The answer to that my dear readers, is shopping.

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Chapter 21: Gone Shoppin'

"No Cheese, for the last time, you can't take today off." I told him wiping at the counter in my bar.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Do I have to tell you for the hundredth time?"

"I just have the feeling someone else who could be listening or even reading this might want to know why." He explained.

"Hey. I'm the one who breaks the fourth wall, not you." I glared at him. "But yes, for the reader's sake, I'll explain it again. I have to leave early today, Pinkie and I are going to the city to get shopping done, and closing makes me lose money, so I need you to be here to tend the bar."

"Can I keep what I make?"

"If you make tips yes, the cost of drinks you cannot keep." I explained. He nodded. "I want you to repeat that back to me."

"I can keep tips but the bits for the drinks go in the register." He said.

"He can be taught!" I smirked.

"You can count on me!" He saluted me as I went for my scarf that was hanging on the coat rack.

"I'd better be able to, I'm not paying you to pluck your eyebrows." I turned to see him doing exactly that. "What did I just say?"

"Something about eyebrows?"

"Good enough. I'll see you later." I went out the door to meet up with Pinkie at the train station.

"Hiya Chuckie!" She greeted me with a hug when I arrived at the train station.

"Hey Cutie Pie." I hugged her back, the warmth of a hug felt quite nice, it was quite a chilly morning and there was about an inch tall blanket of snow on the ground.

"Ready for the big shopping trip?" She asked.

"Absolutely!" I nodded. "Now remember, after the train ride, same rules as a wedding day, we don't see each other until we meet back at the train station." I said.

"Just like we talked about!" She nodded.

"That's right. Sweet Celestia, a whole afternoon without seeing you? How will I manage?" I say dramatically.

"You'll get by." She kissed me on the cheek.

"Yeah, I may, but it'll be terrible." I say as we boarded the train.

"Oh hush, you'll be okay, just don't flirt with too many mares without me around." She snickered.

"I'd never!" I said. "Try not to stare at too many cute stallions, no matter how much more attractive than me they are." '

"I'll try." She joked. We shared a laugh as we sat at our seats.

"So what do you want anyway?" I asked her, trying to get a clue as to what to get for her.

"I'm sure whatever you pick out will be perfect." She smiled. No. No. No no no. I actually have no idea what to get you. This is the part where you were supposed to say something specific. Dammit. I try and hide my part frustration and part anxiety with a simple smile

"What do you want?" She asked me.

"I'm not sure... I'm sure whatever you think of will be perfect." I smiled using the same excuse as her. Thinking of this sort of thing was tough, it always was tough foe me, I never liked to seem like a demanding person- err.. Pony.

"Aw come on, you must want something!" She said. I loved that she was more assertive than me.

"Well, this might seem silly, but I love toys and collectibles." I suggested.

"Hey, I can't believe you haven't figured this out, but with me, the silly is always welcome!" She said holding my hooves from across the table we were sitting at.

"Okay, I told you what I would like, it's your turn." I spoke up.

"I don't really know! But I trust you." She said. Really? Bad idea.

"Alrighty, beige socks it is." I joked, I figured if I made a bad suggestion as a joke I'd get a ballpark to shoot for. Ooh! Maybe a ballpark? Nope, too tough to wrap.

"That better be joke." She said.

"Of course it is!" I laughed. "I know you better than that!" Truthfully, not much better. Oh wonderful. Looks like we're in for one heck of an adventure gang! Let's see how this unfurls, huh?

"Alright! Next stop: Manehatten!" The conductor called from the engine. I could feel the train slowly start moving, interestingly enough, this is the second time I've ever taken a train in my life, before coming to Equestria I had never rode a train. I watched trees, houses, and ponies going about their business as we passed them.

"Lookit that..." I mumbled. Pinkie looked up at me.

"Hm?" She asked.

"Oh, just watching life go by, not mine, but everypony else's. It's fun to watch sometimes, usually from afar. You never quite sure what's going on, but it's fun to guess and make things up. Take them for example." I motioned at a couple of elderly stallions riding a few booths ahead of us. "I wonder what their saying to eachother..."

"You know what Jacob said?" I talked like an old stallion to what one of them was saying. "Jacob said old Barnboard Hoovesworth was killed in a cart crash. Cleared his cart straight off the bridge into the Maressissippi."

"Lucky bastard." Pinkie said like an old stallion as the other one spoke up.

"You bet." I added.

"Hey, how is he, anyway?" Pinkie spoke as the other.

"Dead! Died on impact!" I added holding back laughter.

"Jacob, moron, Jacob!" She laughed. Suddenly the two looked back at us. We quickly regained our composure and whistled innocently. The two returned to their conversation.

"Who are they?" One asked.

"I dunno, couple of jackasses." The other commented. Their comment was met with an angry glare from a donkey sitting across the aisle to them. Because in a world where everyone's an equine, that's probably racist.

"I forgot to mention," I began. "Sometimes the ponies you're doing it do don't always appreciate it." We shared another laugh as the train kept on moving.

---

Manehatten Train Station

"Alright! See you in a few hours!" I said to Pinkie as we got off the train.

"Who are you?" She winked. Ahhh.

"I don't believe I know you." I went with it as we parted ways. "Alright Murphy, let's think here. I'm sure we can find something." I encouraged myself as I walked through the streets of Manehatten. Oh who was I kidding? I'm terrible at this sort of thing. "Let's just go into every store we see, there's bound to be something." I told myself for whatever reason with plural pronouns. I started walking through the many shops around Manehatten in some sort of musical montage that you'll have to make up in your head.

Me: Gotta find it

Gotta find it

Gotta find it

Gotta find it

Yeah, I've been searchin'

A-a searchin'

Oh, yeah, searchin' every which a-way

Yeah, yeah

Oh, yeah, searchin'

I'm searchin'

Searchin' every which a-way

Yeah, yeah

But I'm like the Northwest Mounties

You know I'll bring it in today

Gotta find it,

Gotta find it,

Well, now, if I have to trek a big mall

You know I will

And if I have to pay a fortune

You know I will

And a if it's hiding up

On the highest shelf

Am I gonna find it, baby

You know I will

'Cause I've been searchin'

Oh, yeah, searchin'

My goodness, searchin' every which a-way

Yeah, yeah

But I'm like the Northwest Mounties

You know I'll bring it in today

Gotta find it

Gotta find it

Well, Sherlock Holmes

Sam Spade got nothin', child, on me

Sergeant Friday, Charlie Chan

And Boston Blackie

No matter where it's hiding

It's gonna hear me comin'

Gonna walk right down that street

Like Bulldog Drummond

'Cause I've been searchin'

Oooh, Lord, searchin',

Searchin' every which a-way

Yeah, yeah

But I'm like the Northwest Mounties

You know I'll bring it in today

Gotta find it

Gotta find it!

But alas, as my little number came to an end, I was still giftless, what was I gonna do? Perhaps I am not the Northwest Mounties of gift finding, it wasn't that I wasn't trying, Celestia, The Lord, Hell even Morgan Freeman knows I have been searching relentlessly. Nothing suited her well though, I tried every shop I could find, nut nothing seemed to do the trick, I was tired, upset, and exhausted. I only had one more little shop to go, I didn't have high hopes, but trying was better than, well, not trying.

---

Many, many, many shops later

"Well, here we go, last shop..." I sighed to myself feeling quite pessimistic. As I opened the door I looked around, strange objects decorated the store and the place smelled of incense. Oh boy... Suddenly before I could turn around, run home and pack my things and leave the country, the shop keep popped up from behind the counter.

"Hi! Welcome to Oddity's Oddities! Let me know if I can help you with something!" She said enthusiastically. Her enthusiasm couldn't help but brighten my mood a little bit.

"Sure will." I nodded looking around, the store lived up to it's name let me tell you, strange things big, small, and everywhere in between. "Where do you find these things?" I asked Oddity.

"Everywhere!" She said. "I travel all over Equestria finding things I find interesting, sometimes I buy them from vendors, or flea markets, or I find them in the wilderness!" She said.

"You seem to really enjoy what you do." I remarked while looking around.

"I sure do! Of course sometimes it's not too fun. Not the collecting, that's always fun! But trying to make a business out of it, I don't get many customers... That's why I was so excited to see somepony come in, first customer of the week! Could be one of my last though, if i don't make ends meet I'll have to close up shop." She explained. When should I tell her I'm just looking? Oh Celestia, I can't tell her that.

"Oh my..." I said sympathetically.

"Anyway, what did you come here for anyway?" She asked.

"Well, I came here looking for something for my marefriend for Hearthswarming." I explained.

"Oh how precious! You came to my shop for something for that special somepony in your life! And I thought just having business was good!" She beamed.

"Glad I brightened your day." I chuckled looking around, everything looked interesting, but would Pinkie enjoy any of it?

"What's she like?" Oddity asked.

"Well, she's very energetic, happy, fun loving, bubbly..." I continued describing Pinkie to Oddity. "All in all, she's an amazing pony and I just want to find the best thing I can find for her."

"Hmmm..." Oddity thought. "Hold on! I think I know just the thing!" She bolted into the back room.

"Alrighty then." I said to myself now alone in this shop. It was a cute little shop, I kind of felt bad for Oddity, she was clearly quite passionate about her work and I felt sad to see that her business was clearly struggling. Even if I didn't necessarily care for anything in the shop, I thought I'd definitely pick up something, just to help out a little. Suddenly she ran excitedly out of the back room with a small box.

"Take a look! I think it'll do the trick." She smiled.

"Alrighty." I opened the box to reveal a charm necklace. the necklace charms were very cute and fun, balloons, cake, cupcakes, and in the center was a big baby blue gem heart.

"Oh sweet Celestia..." I stammered, I wasn't expecting to truthfully think anything here was a good idea, but wow! "I'll definitely take it!" I smiled.

"Wonderful! Let me ring that up for you! Want it gift wrapped? No additional cost!" She smiled.

"Absolutely!" I nodded happily. "What'll it be?" I asked about the cost.

"Well, with the current Hearthswarming discount special, it'll be 40 bits, half off." She said.

"Alrighty." I said reaching for my very many change purse. Stop snickering, I know you're snickering. I laid the money on the counter.

"Um, sir, I said 40, this is 80." She corrected me.

"I know. Worth every cent." I smiled. She smiled at me from across the counter.

"Thank you. Happy Hearthswarming." She smiled warmly.

"Happy Hearthswarming to you too." I nodded taking the now wrapped and bagged box.

"Feel free to come back any time!" She yelled to me as I left.

"I'll make sure of it!" I wasn't sure if it was true, but if I was ever in the area, I'd say 'hi' for sure.

"Ha! Ha ha! Aha!" I cried happily as I went out the door, I had finally found the perfect gift. I couldn't help but run with joy. I was ecstatic to know I wasn't going to be a major disappointment, it felt really good knowing that really. Suddenly however, my run was cut off suddenly by crashing hard into something.

"Ow." The stallion I crashed into said feeling rather annoyed. I sprang up to my hooves.

"Oh Celestia, I'm so sorry, are you hurt? I didn't see you there." I apologized.

"No harm done to me, I don't recall that mark on my jacket until now though..." He looked at his jacket. "No matter, it was out of style anyway." He said. He had a very high class type of personality, sort of urban finesse with a bit of a 'holier than thou' vibe. Suddenly, he looked down and gasped.

"What in Equestria is that?" He asked. It seemed in the crash the box had opened and the necklace was out. I frantically addressed it to make sure it didn't break, luckily it was still in mint condition.

"This? It's a charm necklace, I got it for my marefriend for Hearthswarming." I told him.

"It's stunning! Where did you get it?" He asked.

"Got it a little shop called Oddity's Oddities, just down the street." I told him

"Hmm, I don't believe I've visited there before, that might be interesting..." He whipped out a notepad and pen.

"Who are you again?" I asked.

"You don't know me? You must be an out-of-towner. I'm Chester Quill, I write for the Manehatten Press, and I believe you've given me a great idea for my next column!"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Local shops to shop at for Hearthswarming! Providing I like what I see in the shop I'll definitely do a write up!" He said as he trotted off toward the shop.

"Huh, neat. Hope it all goes well." I said to myself as I walked back toward the train station.

After I arrived at the train station, I noticed Pinkie still wasn't there yet, so I took this opportunity to do what I wanted to do for a little while now, nap. When I woke up I immediately saw a pair of big blue eyes staring at me.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" She said.

"Really?" I asked with a yawn.

"No I'm just kiddin', I knew I'd meet you back here!" She laughed. I smiled as I stood up.

"Train almost here?" I asked with yet another yawn.

"Should be here in a couple minutes!" She said sitting down on the bench I was napping on. "Still warm." She commented.

"Well it that's so, move over." I laughed a little sitting down next to her.

"Have fun?" I asked her.

"Yep! I think you're gonna like what I picked out for you!" She smiled. "How about you?"

"I have a feeling you'll like it." I said warmly as I relaxed next to her.

---

Back home

After we got off the train I went back to my bar to see how Cheese had done running the place, I must say when I first walked in I was pleasantly surprised. It was packed! Ponies I hadn't seen since the grand opening party were here and they all seemed to have been here a while too.

"Cheese!" I said excitedly. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" He said. "I started offering free samples to boost popularity and all of a sudden business is booming!"

"Wait. Free samples?" I asked.

"Yeah! Everypony came once I started offering free samples!" He said.

"Hey Cheese!" A pony called. "Another free sample!"

"Comin' right up!" Cheese then poured a full mug and slid it to the pony who ordered it.

"Has anypony ordered anything that wasn't a free sample?" I asked.

"Ummmmmmm... No." He said. WHAT!?

"That's not how business works!" I cried. "Attention everypony!" I called out. "From here on, we will NOT be offering free samples!" My announcement was met with angry mumbles and soon the crowd cleared out. I sighed feeling frustrated about what just happened.

"Cheese. next time I do this, if I ever let you do this, I want you to remember never offer anything for free. Got it?" I said a bit angrily.

"Yes sir!" he said still enthusiastically.

"Alright, your shift is over, I've got to clean this place up." I told him, but before I could finish, he was gone. I sighed once again started cleaning up.

After I finished cleaning, I decided I'd write to Barstool to place a new order on my stocks.

"Dear Barstool, how have you been? I hope you're doing well. I need to restock on my supplies as my employee decided to start offering free non sample sized samples. One more thing, I understand this favor is a bit odd, but I know you happen to live in that area so I'll ask, do you get the Manehatten Press? if so, would you mind telling me if you see a piece regarding a store called Oddity's Oddities? Thank you, Chuck." The letter read. After I placed in the mailbox I retired to home. Pinkie was already fast asleep by the time I got home so I didn't bother disturbing her. I did however, decide to do the same as her and get some rest.

---

Manehatten. 3 days later

"I don't understand it!" Oddity said to herself upon seeing her store now crowded with shopping ponies. "What in all of Equestria could've happened?"

"I for one," one of the shopping ponies spoke up upon hearing her, "heard about this place from Chester Quill's review! I'm glad I did too, this will be perfect for my niece." he finished while picking up a porcelain cat figurine.

"Newspaper review?" Oddity asked.

"Don't you read the news? Take a look for yourself." he said giving her a newspaper.

"This shop: Oddity's Oddities, wasn't particularly on my list to visit, but after running into an albeit rather strange colt who said that this is where he found his Hearthswarming gift for his marefriend, an absolutely stunning necklace, I just had to look for myself! Once I entered, I was immediately greeted with a very welcoming hello from the shop keep who was eager to help me to find something, she opened up my eyes to many, while some a bit strange, amazing and interesting objects from all around Equestria, eventually, I came upon a lovely music box that I purchased for my sister. With friendly service, and incredibly unique things for the unique ponies in your life, Oddity's oddities is a highly recommended visit for your Hearthswarming shopping." She finished.

"Wow!" She smiled. "And I thought I was lucky to get two shoppers in the same day!"

"Bet you sure are glad he ran into the first guy, huh?" The shopper asked.

"I sure am." She smiled gratefully. "Now, would you like that gift wrapped?"

---

Another chapter done! Hope you enjoyed it! I'm gonna ask a question for those who want to reply, and please do reply to it, out of Barstool, Sunny Side, or Oddity, who would you most like to see return? all of them will more than likely be featured again, but if you, the reader, like one more, they may be featured more prominently.

Song used

"Searchin'". By: The Coasters.