Chapter 14: One Day At Discord's

This is not a continuation of the story, but rather the same day as the previous chapter, but another pony's much less perfect day.

---

Ponyville train station. 8:30 AM

"Thanks everypony." Chuck said. "Quibble, I'm leaving you in charge of the bar while I'm gone, make sure nothing crazy happens huh? And Discord, do your best to make this day miserable for him." He said with a wink. What!?

"What was that for?" I muttered while that crazy demon Discord just laughed menacingly. "Oh boy..." I groaned, I knew I was in for a rough day, but I had no idea it was going to be as rough as it was. My name is Quibble Pants, if you're reading this, you've found my journal recording what could possibly be my last day alive.

---

Chuck's Tavern: 9:30 AM

Nothing yet, I'm not even nervous, no, definitely not nervous. How bad could this possibly be? Maybe a small prank or two. I've survived those, yeah, yeah I've survived those. After all I have been living with possibly one of the craziest and most spontaneous ponies alive, Cheese Sandwich. Who had had a history of pranking along with his partying 'business'. Honestly having him here would have been convenient. Somepony around to keep me sane, but guess who had a party to throw in Baltimare! So it was just me and my journal. Hold that thought, somepony just walked in.

"Pardon me sir, but this place hasn't opened." I said to the pony, he was an older looking unicorn with a gray goatee and the strangest looking cutie mark I've ever seen.

"Oh, I'm not here to drink." He said. That voice. I know that voice. Oh sweet Celestia. I looked up at him.

"Look pal, I don't need this." I said. He seemed to disregard my comment, and my existence, he just stood there with wide eyes and a closed mouth. But the voice continued.

"What's the matter?" He said without even moving his mouth. "You seem tense... On edge..."

"What? No. No. Nonononono." I brushed off. "You're messing with me. Stop the charade, I know who you are." I said, trying to conceal any fear in my voice.

"Fine." Suddenly his cutie mark leaped from his body. It was Discord, he had taken the form of a cutie mark. Creative I must say if I were to attempt to put this in a positive light. The small Discord, about 6 inches tall, walked down the counter.

"So... Running a tight little ship here while your friends away?" He said. "No nonsense, making sure nothing crazy happens... Missed a spot there by the way." He pointed to a stain on the counter. "But then that little dream gets shattered, doesn't it? When your pal Discord shows up."

"You're not my pal." I said.

"Awww come on, can't you just loosen up a little?" He said flying up to meet my eyes. "Who's to say I'm going to do anything to make today a miserable hell for you?"

"Chuck, for whatever reason told you too... And those seem like instructions you'd never pass up." I said.

"Oh come on! I just want to keep you company while you do this... bland, mundane task." He said hovering around my head.

"Look. I like the bland and mundane. Predictability in life can be a pony's best friend." I said sternly. He just laughed.

"Well, I'm not a pony, I'm a draconequus! I can't handle the bland and mundane. Oh, why am I still talking to you? I can do whatever I want. Why would I need permission from you to do what I plan on doing?" He laughed.

"And... What is that?" I asked nervously.

"Do you like games?" He asked.

"I... don't mind them." I said. "But I can't help but feel like I'll still hate what you have in mind..."

"You'll never know if you don't try!" He exclaimed. Before I could respond he snapped his fingers and I lost my sight and hearing, everything was black. except the word 'Loading' in big bold white letters, and along that 'The end is never the end' in gray.

---

The game: 9:45 AM

When my eyes opened I was in an office, I honestly found it quite eerie as it looked close to the office I worked at before moving here.

"What!? Where's the bar!?" I yelled out. I couldn't move, I was just looking at a barren office building. Suddenly a voice started speaking in my head, it was Discord, but he payed no attention to what I just said.

"This is the story of a stallion named Quibble. Quibble worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427. Employee #427's job was simple: he sat at his desk in room 427 and he pushed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk, telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them, and in what order. This is what Employee #427 did every day of every month of every year, and although others might have considered it soul rending, Quibble relished every moment the orders came in, as though he had been made exactly for this job. And Quibble was happy. And then one day, something very peculiar happened. Something that would forever change Quibble; something he would never quite forget. He had been at his desk for nearly an hour when he realized that not one single order had arrived on the monitor for him to follow. Nopony had shown up to give him instructions, call a meeting, or even say 'hi.' Never in all his years at the company had this happened, this complete isolation. Something was very clearly wrong. Shocked, frozen solid, Quibble found himself unable to move for the longest time. But as he came to his wits and regained his senses, he got up from his desk and stepped out of his office." The voice said.

I finally regained movement and immediately started looking around the abandoned office. Suddenly Discord spoke up.

"All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean? Quibble decided to go to the meeting room. Perhaps he had simply missed a memo." I looked around, the voice echoed in my head, but Discord himself was nowhere to be seen... I looked around the office poking around. Suddenly Discord spoke up again.

"Quibble went around touching every little thing in the office. But it didn't make a single difference... Nor did it advance the story in any way." Discord concluded in an irritated tone. Fine. I guess I had to play along with this. I started walking through the abandoned rooms and hallways. finally I came to a room that ended in two doors.

"When Quibble came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left." Discord said.

"Oh did I?" I said slyly. "I dunno, that door on the right looks tempting, I think I'll go through that one." I said walking through the door on the right. Discord spoke up.

"This was not the correct way to the meeting room, and Quibble knew it perfectly well. Perhaps he wanted to stop by the employee lounge first, just to admire it." This was getting weird.

"I don't like this..." I muttered walking down the hallway. I suddenly came to a large blue room.

"Ah yes, this was truly a room worth admiring." I could hear a bit of passive aggression in his voice. "It had really been worth the detour after all, just to spend a few moments here in this immaculate, beautifully constructed room. Quibble simply stood here, drinking it all in." He finished. I looked around curiously.

"Yeeesss, really, really worth it being here in the room. A room so utterly captivating that even though all your co-workers have mysteriously vanished, here you sit looking at these chairs and some paintings. Really worth it." He said sarcastically. Okay fine, I get the point. I sighed continuing my terrible journey.

"But eager to get back to business, Quibble took the first open door on his left." Discord said closing the door behind me. Oh boy... This time I followed instructions and took the door on the left.

"Oh look." I groaned looking around the meeting room. "Empty, like everywhere else in here."

"Yet there was not a single pony here either." Discord agreed. "Feeling a wave of disbelief, Quibble decided to go up to his boss's office, hoping he might find an answer there." Ugh. I walked towards a stairwell. "Coming to a staircase, Quibble walked upstairs to his boss's office."

"Nope. Screw you, I'm going downstairs." I thought if I angered him enough I might get out, so I stepped down the stairs.

"But Quibble just couldn't do it. He considered the possibility of facing his boss, admitting he had left his post during work hours, he might be fired for that. And in such a competitive economy, why had he taken that risk? All because he believed everyone had vanished? His boss would think he was crazy."

"Hey!" I yelled out.

"And then something occurred to Quibble: Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe I am crazy. All of my coworkers blinking mysteriously out of existence in a single moment for no reason at all?" Discord continued. What? I kept walking forward, trying to ignore the voice.

"None of it made any logical sense. And as Quibble pondered this he began to make other strange observations. For example, why couldn't he see his hooves when he looked down?"

"What!?" I exclaimed, suddenly I looked down and saw nothing, he was right!

"Why did doors close automatically behind him wherever he went?" Well that ones easy, you were closing them. I kept trudging forward.

"And for that matter, these rooms were starting to look pretty familiar, were they simply repeating? No, Quibble said to himself."

"No I didn't!" I exclaimed. He was right though, the rooms all looked the same as I trotted forward.

"This is all too strange, this can't be real, and at last he came to the conclusion that had been on the tip of his tongue, he just hadn't found the words for it."

"And what was that?" I groaned.

"I'm dreaming! he yelled, This is all a dream!" Discord exclaimed. What!? No. None of this is me!

"Now, you've officially dragged this too far!" I yelled, but no answer. Discord just continued his dialogue.

"What a relief Quibble felt to have finally found an answer, an explanation. His coworkers weren't actually gone, he wasn't going to lose his job, he wasn't crazy after all!" I wish this was a dream, this was a nightmare! But sadly this was real too.

"And he thought to himself, I suppose I'll wake up soon, I'll have to go back to my boring real life job pushing buttons, I may as well enjoy this while i'm still lucid. So he imagined himself flying, and began to gently float above the ground." He said. Suddenly I involuntarily floated upwards.

"AGH!" I cried out.

"Then he imagined himself soaring through space on a magical star field, and it too appeared!"

"What!?" I yelled. Suddenly stars surrounded me.

"It was so much fun, and Quibble marveled that he had still not woken up. How was he remaining so lucid?" Discord said. Fun!? Fun!? "And then perhaps the strangest question of them all entered Quibble's head, one he was amazed he hadn't asked himself sooner: Why is there a voice in my head, dictating everything that I'm doing and thinking?"

"I know why!" I yelled. No answer.

"Now the voice was describing itself being considered by Quibble, who found it particularly strange. I'm dreaming about a voice describing me thinking about how it's describing my thoughts, he thought! And while he thought it all very odd and wondered if this voice spoke to all people in their dreams, the truth was that of course this was not a dream. How could it be?"

"Discord!" I yelled out, he was winning, I was starting to snap.

"Was Quibble simply deceiving himself? Believing that if he's asleep he doesn't have to take responsibility for himself? Quibble is as awake right now as he's ever been in his life. Now hearing the voice speak these words was quite a shock to Quibble. After all, he knew for certain beyond a doubt that this was, in fact, a dream! Did the voice not see him float and make the magical stars just a moment ago? How else would the voice explain all that? This voice was a part of himself too, surely, surely if he could just... He would prove it. He would prove that he was in control, that this was a dream."

"Knock it off!" I cried out running faster.

"So he closed his eyes gently, and he invited himself to wake up." Suddenly my eyes closed. "He felt the cool weight of the blanket on his fur, the press of the mattress on his back, the fresh air of a world outside this one. Let me wake up, he thought to himself."

"No I didn't!" I yelled.

"I'm through with this dream, I wish it to be over. Let me go back to my job, let me continue pushing the buttons, please, it's all I want. I want my apartment, and my wife, and my job. All I want is my life exactly the way it's always been. My life is normal, I am normal. Everything will be fine." Discord said.

"Let me out of here!" I yelled angrily, I couldn't see a thing.

"I am okay." No I'm not!

"Quibble began screaming. Please someone wake me up! My name is Quibble! I have a boss! I have an office! I am real! Please just someone tell me I'm real! I must be real! I must be! Can anyone hear my voice?! Who am I? Who am I?! And everything went black." Discord said as everything went dark, somehow even darker than before.

After a long pause, Discord finally spoke up.

"This is the story of a mare named Mariella."

"What!?" I tried to yell out.

"Mariella woke up on a day like any other. She arose, got dressed, gathered her belongings, and walked to her place of work."

Suddenly I saw from a bird's eye a mare on a sidewalk looking at a body of a stallion laying on the ground. Wait... That stallion.. Looks like me!

"But on this particular day, her walk was interrupted by the body of a stallion who had stumbled through town talking and screaming to himself and then collapsed dead on the sidewalk. And although she would soon turn to go call for an ambulance, for just a few, brief moments, she considered the strange pony. He was obviously crazy; this much she knew. Everyone knows what crazy ponies look like. And in that moment, she thought to herself how lucky she was to be normal. I am sane. I am in control of my mind. I know what is real, and what isn't. It was comforting to think this, and in a certain way, seeing this stallion made her feel better. But then she remembered the meeting she had scheduled for that day, the very important ponies whose impressions of her would affect her career, and, by extension, the rest of her life. She had no time for this, so it was only a moment that she stood there, staring down at the body. And then she turned and ran." Suddenly everything went black.

---

Chuck's Tavern. 5:30 PM

"Let me out!" I came to my senses screaming.

"Ahh, I see my new concept was a success!" Discord exclaimed.

"What concept?" I demanded.

"I was starting to get bored of causing chaos in the physical realm, so I decided to experiment with the psychological! And I must say, from my gatherings, it worked quite well..." He said, I was still shaking.

"Worked? Worked!?" I yelled. "I was terrified!" I yelled out.

"Great!" He exclaimed.

"How... How long has it been?" I asked.

"It's about dinner time, time goes faster in the psyche." Discord said.

"I know how that works." I moaned. At least the day was almost over. my hooves were still shaking. "Look. I'm flattered, truly I am. But it's time for you to leave." I said firmly, but he didn't care.

"Do you like dogs?" He asked.

"What?" I said.

"Do you like dogs?" He said again.

"I guess?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Great! This will be fun!" He snapped his fingers, uh oh. I braced myself for another terrible simulation, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes and I was still here.

"Huh?" I asked.

"What? Did you think I was going to try that again? Those simulations drain my energy! I was just doing something enough to annoy you this time." He said. Suddenly the stools bounced to life and started running around barking.

"No!" I shouted. "None of that!" I tried pouncing on the stools to catch them, they ran about crashing into the walls and knocking things down. Discord just sat there laughing watching me struggle.

"This is such fun!" He laughed.

"No!" I groaned. "No it isn't!" I leaped onto one of the stools. I actually caught it! My moment of triumph quickly deflated as it scurried away. "Dammit."

"Look, Discord. Stop. I'm really getting pissed off here." I said.

"Why do I care?" He asked. He had a point. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"What if I call that friend of yours down here... What's her name again? Shutterfly or something?" I said slyly.

"Fluttershy? You wouldn't." He glared.

"Oh, oh.." I laughed a little. "Ohhhh but I would."

"Don't you dare!" He said.

"And she'll be all 'Oh Discord, stop being such a jerk, myah myah myah.!' And you'll be a little pushover! 'Oh Fluttershy, please forgive me! Myah myah myah!" Maybe I was pushing this too far, but I didn't care.

"In fact, I think I'll be on my way right now!" I said prancing towards the door. Suddenly the door swung shut in my face.

"Don't even think about it!" Suddenly I lost movement in my legs and fell forward onto my face. I could feel myself getting drug backwards. "I'm sorry, but I just can't have that. So I'm afraid I'll have to ensure you don't go anywhere." Suddenly a cage appeared and I was tossed inside.

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed.

"Nope. You're stuck here until your little friend gets back." He said. "You'd better hope he comes and checks in tonight, or else you'll be in here until morning.

"Oh for the love of..." I sighed. Not in a defeated way, but angrily. I was going to kill that loofah mane.

---

Chuck's Tavern. 1:30 AM

Luckily I still had my journal on me to write all this down for when I take Chuck to court, I don't know what I can accuse him of yet but I know there's something. Discord had continued to play around with the bar, the stools were running like dogs, the furniture was either flying around or on the ceiling, and the jukebox was playing polka! And get this, he didn't make it like that, polka was already on there! I was jsut about to lay down to accept I'd be here overnight when the door opened. It was Chuck! I'd never been so happy yet so angry to see somepony before.

"Alright Discord, fun's over." He said. Discord looked at me and sighed.

"Fine..." He snapped his fingers and it all returned to normal, the cage suddenly disappeared and I fell to my face. Ouch.

"How'd it go pal?" He asked. That little bastard...

"Ohhhhh... Ohhhh You owe me. Big time!" I growled at him as I made my way out of the building.

"Sounds like it went well, see ya tomorrow." I could hear him shout to me. Screw you.

So that was my day, my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Miraculously I survived it though, if anyone ever reads this, give Chuck a slap to the face, tell him it's from Quibble.

---

The end! Next chapter will continue the story from Chuck's point of view. Hope you enjoyed!

Discord's "game" sequence was taken from the video game The Stanley Parable, created by Davey Wreden.