Equestria's New Comedian
Chapter 11: Chapter 11: The birthday
Previous Chapter Next ChapterChapter 11: The Day After The Birthday Eve Mishap... Or More Appropriately, The Birthday.
Last time on "Equestria's New Comedian"... There were lasers, sharks, and laser sharks... Just kidding, last time, Cheese and Quibble rekindled their friendship, but not all was sunshine and rainbows in the land that is primarily sunshine and rainbows ... Pinkie Pie now believes I don't care at all about her birthday and completely forgot, what's gonna happen? Let's find out shall we?
Chuck's Tavern
"And... And then... -sniff- She ran off and... And... Started crying... -sniff-... I..I know my job was important and I'm so sorry I ruined it!" Fluttershy told me as she began crying. Was I mad? No, not at all.
"Hey, come on..." I started sympathetically. "I know that wasn't your fault." I said while consoling her. "You did your best, maybe a lie wasn't the greatest route but that's on me, this is my fault." I said, I knew how to fix this anyway. At least I had a somewhat decent idea anyway on how I was going to.
"Thank you." She said.
"Hey, don't mention it." I said with a small sympathetic smile (Like alliteration?).
"So, what are you going to do?" She asked.
"I've got a plan." I said, well, honestly I had about 12 percent of a a plan. Better than 0 percent right?
"Now if you don't mind..." I began. "Could you get Twilight and the others together? We've got some setting up to do." I asked.
"You can count on me." She said.
"Great, see you in a bit, if I'm not in the bar area when you get back, come back and wake me from my nap." I said flopping back to get a little sleep.
10 minutes later
"Chuck... Chuuuuck... CHUCK!" A voice yelled at me.
"Hello and welcome back! I'm your host Casey Kasem!" I yelled as I shot up.
"What?" Twilight asked, apparently everypony decided to gather in my cramped back office.
"Casey Kasem, radio host, American Top 40, it's Earth stuff, I'll bore you with it all later." I brushed it off, those words hurt me to say considering my love for 70's and 80's music and for Casey Kasem.
"Anyway." I continued. "Glad to see you all here, as we all know today is a big day. You all did an absolutely amazing job yesterday, and today, it all pays off. I won't forget how you all came through, and now, in return I have to say, as per custom of my land, 'I owe you one'." I said.
"Who's gonna tell him that's not exclusive to 'his land'?" Rainbow Dash murmured to the others.
"We have two hours until the party is meant to begin, all that needs to be done now is things like snacks and refreshments for the party, and of course, the delivery of the guest of honor. As per the first item, the Cakes have graciously agreed to cater and the Apples have been so kind as to offer their cider for drinks, thanks again Applejack."
"Don't mention it Sugarcuge." (Say it with me! Sugarcube counter: 6!)
"So here's what I'm thinking, if you all could do me one last favor, half of us go to the cakes and help them out, and the other half help the Apple family with cider prep, that work for everypony?" I ask.
"Fine, but then you'll owe me two." Rainbow Dash joked.
"I'll take that as a yes then. Let's do this!" I announced.
Pinkie Pie's Room
"Why!? Why would he lie to me like that?" Pinkie cried to herself. Don't go to bed sad, you just wake up sad and angry.
"I thought he cared! He.. He seemed like he cared! I just don't understand..." She said to herself looking through the window sadly. Suddenly, a knock came at the door.
"Come in..." Pinkie said sadly. Mrs Cake and her two children, Pound Cake and Pumpkin cake came in with a large tray.
"Happy birthday sweetheart." She said sweetly. "We made you some breakfast, you'll see there's two plates of eggs here, you can just pretend to eat the ones the kids made, they don't exactly understand how to keep the shells out." She laughed.
Pinkie Pie just looked at her silently, then after about 10 seconds of silence, she broke out crying. This shocked Mrs Cake so much she dropped the juice for the breakfast, immediately she set down the tray and went to comfort her.
"Sweetheart... what's wrong?" Mrs Cake asked.
"He... He... FORGOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAAAAYYYY!" She cried. Now, Mrs Cake knew the truth of the matter, but she couldn't tell her anything as not to ruin the surprise.
"Oh sweetheart... I'm sorry." She started.
"How... How... How could he!?" She cried.
"Hold on sweetheart, maybe he didn't forget." Mrs Cake said.
"What... What do you mean?" She asked.
"What if he actually has a plan?" Mrs Cake decided to answer a question with a question.
"But... But Fluttershy told me-"
"Would Fluttershy want to spoil the surprise?" Pinkie Pie stopped and thought for a second.
"You do have a point..." Pinkie thought.
"But that's not necessarily true..." Mrs Cake winked. "You'll just have to wait and see, but don't think he forgot about you." She finished.
"Okay." Pinkie said, feeling a little better.
"Enjoy your breakfast hon, I'll get you some more juice." Mrs Cake said leaving the room, Pumpkin and Pound followed behind her.
"Maybe she's right, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so quick like that." Pinkie said to herself.
"Or you should have." She heard a voice, and saw a little devil on her shoulder. (I know, the gag might be getting tired.)
"What are you doing here?" She asked the little devil.
"I'm here simply to help you, and I'm helping by telling you to stay mad!" The little devil said.
"Well I dunno..." Pinkie said, then looked to her other shoulder. "Hey, Where's the other one?" She asked.
Meanwhile
There was a heavy traffic jam, horns were honking and voices were cussing at other voices, in one car sat Pinkie's shoulder angel.
"Come on you bastards I'm late for work!" She yelled honking her horn. She went to take a drink of coffee and spilled it on her robe. "Of perfect, just perfect." She muttered.
Back in reality...
"So what'll it be?" The little devil asked.
"Look, I just don't think it's a good idea..." Pinkie said.
"Fine, fine." The devil disappeared. Suddenly the angel appeared.
"Hey what did I miss?" She asked.
"Oh thank Celestia you're here what do I do?" Suddenly an even smaller devil appeared on the shoulder of the angel.
"Tell her to stay mad! Don't turn back now!"
"I dunno about that..." The angel said, then turned to her shoulder. "Hey, where's the other one?"
Meanwhile
"Oh this is unbelievable!" The smaller angel Pinkie Pie yelled out, caught in yet another traffic jam.
Back again.
"Look, even I can agree this gags getting old." Pinkie said.
"Fair enough." Her angel said disappearing. She sighed. She knew Mrs Cake was probably right, but there was still that sense that told her she wasn't.
(From here on out I promise there will be no more angel/devil shoulder jokes)
Suddenly out of her window she saw Twilight, Spike, Rarity, and Fluttershy leaving Sugarcube Corner with ample boxes of sweets with them. Pinkie opened her window.
"Hey guuuuyyyys!" She called out, which warranted no response, in fact, they went faster afterwards.\
"What was that about? Maybe they didn't hear me, right?" She said to herself watching them, suddenly she saw them head for the tavern down the street, my tavern down the street.
"What? But... But... But they're my best friends!" She said to herself in shock, "First Chuck, now them?" She thought.
"That's it!" She said, slamming her door shut. "If nopony wants to see me today, I don't want to see anypony else!"
Sweet Apple Acres
"So that's barrel what? 53?" I asked.
"Eeyup!" Big Mac said as we were loading barrels onto carts.
"Great, only two more to go then, thank you kindly for doing this." I said.
"Lookin' good fellas!" Applejack came over. "Shouldn't be too long till it's out of the barrels and into the mugs!"
"Don't remind me..." Rainbow Dash drooled.
"Chuck!" I heard Spike call. I turned and looked
"What's up?" I asked.
"The sweets have been delivered." He said.
"Oh that's great, thanks you guys." I said.
"And, apparently Mrs Cake talked things over with Pinkie Pie, and she's not upset anymore!" Fluttershy said.
"Well that definitely makes my day easier. Thank you all very much." I said.
"So what now?" Quibble asked. (Oh yeah, him and Cheese are here too).
"Now, mi amigo, we get this cider train a-movin!" Cheese exclaimed.
"Very right my friend, let's get going!" I said as we started pulling carts.
Chuck's tavern
"Alrighty, it's almost time for the guests to start arriving, I'm going to get drinks ready." I said. "Cheese, I have a special job for you."
"What is it?" He asked.
"I need you to go and deliver our guest of honor, can you handle that?"
"Aye aye cap'n!" He announced.
"Great, okay, here come our first guests!" I say as Octavia and Vinyl walked in.
"Octavia! Vinyl!" Great to see the two of you!" I said.
"I'm here for Pinkie Pie's party, not because I'm ready to like you." Octavia was cold, little mad about that prank hm?
"Great to have you here regardless, Vinyl! What do you say we get the sound system ready? Come on, I'll lead you to the back." I walked with her.
"Well, I'll be on my way!" Cheese said prancing out the door.
Sugarcube Corner
Cheese pranced through the doors bouncing energetically.
"Hiya Cakes!" He said happily.
"Hello Cheese Sandwich, nice to see you again." Mrs Cake said.
"Looking for Pinkie Pie?" Mr Cake asked.
"Indeedereeno!" Cheese said.
"She's just upstairs, we're gonna be on our way now, see you two at the party." Mr Cake said.
"Will do!" Cheese said bouncing upstairs.
Cheese looked through the hallway and saw a door brightly decorated in pink and balloons with a piece of paper that said 'Pinkie's Room' with a little smiley face drawn under the writing.
"This must be it." Cheese thought, "Ooh! maybe to keep it a surprise, I should change my voice a little, then he saw a chest with dress up items, presumably for when Pinkie Pie would entertain the two Cake foals.
"Perfect!" cheese said to himself.
After gathering a costume together, Cheese knocked on the door and entered.
"Hello?" Pinkie asked.
"Ma'am. I'm Officer Wiggum from the PVPD (Ponyville Police Department), You gotta come back to the station, it seems you've been charged for smuggling illegal confetti into the region. That's a serious crime ma'am, I for one hope you're not guilty, as if you are you're gonna be goin' away for a real long time." Pinkie looked very tense, and leaped from the window.
"You'll never take me alive!" She yelled running away.
"What? Oh... Oh no... This is bad... Wait!" Cheese yelled running after her.
Meanwhile
"What is taking him so long? Pretty much all the guests have arrived..." I muttered to myself serving drinks to Lyra and Bonbon.
Ponyville streets
"Ma'am wait!" Cheese yelled chasing Pinkie Pie. He was beginning to gain distance on her.
"For the record, this has been a pretty bad day for me! Can't this wait!?" She yelled back at him.
"You don't understand! That was just a-" Cheese was cut off by Pinkie crashing into a fruit cart extremely hard.
Cheese walked up to the scene. "Oh no... Oh No oh no oh no oh no... I may have messed up here... Don't be dead please don't be dead, I'll lose my "No lives will be lost in the making of any of my parties" guarantee!" He could see that she was still breathing, she had been knocked unconscious.
"What do I do from here..." He muttered to himself. He hoisted Pinkie Pie onto the now empty cart and left a sack of bits where the cart was.
"Better than nothing." He said while pushing the cart.
Chucks' Tavern
"No offense, I'm sure there's a method to this madness, but I was really hoping you'd deliver her... I don't know... conscious!?" I exclaimed at the scene.
"Is that my cart?" I heard a pony mutter in the crowd.
"It isn't my fault, she started running, and then she crashed and then.." Cheese started.
"It's fine, it's fine." I said, we'll make do. I poured a glass of water and dripped it on her head, instantly she sprang up.
"NO OFFICER I SWEAR- Huh?" She looked around and saw everypony gathered around in my newly furnished bar with big mugs of cider.
"SO! This is about your bar! I... I... I thought you cared about me!" She broke down crying. I just let out a slight nose sigh. I was getting a little sick of everypony assuming I was so bad.
"Hon, hon." I took her by the hoof and showed her the banner over the door, which read 'Happy Birthday Pinkie!'.
She looked back at me, with tears in her eyes, but different than the tears from before.
"You... You remembered!" She wrapped me in a comparable to an anaconda type hug.
"Of course I remembered!" I wheezed. I smiled. "you mean way more to me than to just forget or brush off your birthday!" I kissed her on the forehead, and everypony in the bar 'Awwwed'.
"Ohhh Chuckie..." She flushed red. "You're embarrassing me..." She smiled.
"Let's get this party rolling!" I announced, and the music started up.
"So you really planned all this for me?" She asked me a bit later.
"Well, honestly, not completely, I had a bit of help." I said, motioning to Twilight and the others. "And of course another pony you may recognize." Cheese Sandwich popped up from behind the counter.
"Cheese!" Pinkie said excitedly.
"Hiya Pinkie! Great to see you again." Cheese said. "Sorry about that whole chase thing back there by the way."
"No problem, just a little bump on the noggin." Pinkie smiled. I looked at the time, and I backed away, making my way to the stage in the back area.
"All set up?" I asked Vinyl. She gave me a nod.
"Great, thanks." I made my way onto the platform and tapped the mic.
"Attention everypony, at this point I'd like to say a few words to the birthday mare, and my darling, Pinkie Pie." I flashed a smile at her. "Or, more appropriately, I'd like to say these words through the timeless form of song. Hit it!" I exclaimed.
Me: You make me feel so young
You make me feel so spring has sprung!
And when I see your smiling face
I'm such a happy... individual
And every time you speak
I wanna go play hide-and-seek
I wanna go and bounce the moon
Just like a toy balloon
/
You and I
Are just like a couple of foals
Runnin' across the meadows
pickin' up lots of daisys gold
/
You make me feel so young
You make me feel there are songs to be sung!
Bells to be rung!
Wonderful fling to be flung!
And even when I'm old and gray
I'm gonna feel the way I do today
Cause you! You make me feel so young!
/
You make me feel so young
You make me feel so spring has sprung!
And every time I see you grin
I'm such a happy... individual
And every time you speak
I wanna go play hide-and-seek
I wanna go and bounce the moon
Just like a toy balloon.
/
You and I
Are just like a couple of foals
Runnin' across the meadows
Pickin' up lots of daiys gold!
/
You make me feel so young
You make me feel there are song to be sung!
Bells to be rung!
And a wonderful fling to be flung!
And even when I'm old and gray..
I'm gonna feel the way I do today!
'Cause you! You make me feel so young!
You make me feel so young!
You make me feel so young!
Oooooh You make me feel...
Soooo young!
They cheered as I made my way down from the stage. I went back over to Pinkie Pie.
"I love it!" She said to me.
"Thanks hon." I gave her a big hug. "Happy birthday." I said to her.
"Now everyone! The cake! I announced.
After the party
I was cleaning up the confetti from the floor, Pinkie, Cheese, and Quibble agreed to stay and help me clean up.
"Thanks for helping me clean up, everypony." I said.
"No problem." Quibble said sweeping the floor.
"So now that the parties over... You two are gonna be on your way?" Pinkie asked them. They went silent.
"Well... I sort of gave up what I would've been leaving for." Quibble said.
"And.. And I could still travel around throwing parties from here." Cheese said.
"We, we made friends here, more friends than either of us have made before... We haven't talked it over but.." Quibble began.
"I think we'll be staying here." Cheese said.
"Ooooh! That's great! That's awesome!" Pinkie got excited by the news. I smiled at the two of them.
"I look forward to seeing you two around." I nodded at them. "well, that's about the last of cleaning, what say we retire now?"
"Here here!" they said.
Streets of Ponyville
"Remind me to return that pony's cart tomorrow." I said to Pinkie as we walked home together.
"No problem!" Pinkie said. We were silent for a moment.
"I'm... Sorry I thought you didn't care." Pinkie said. I looked at her.
"Hey, it was an honest mistake, don't beat yourself up over it." I said with a grin.
She giggled slightly "Okay." She said.
"Oh, by the way, before I forget..." I pulled out a box from the newly found space in my large 'loofah mane'. "Your birthday gift!"
"Oooooh what is it?" She asked.
"Why don't you open it up and see?" I asked back. She then opened the box to reveal a smaller scale cake, on top, there was a little fondant sculpture of her and I, under a tree from the first little picnic we had, with small hearts lining the cake. She looked at me with big wide eyes.
"I love it!" She said enthusiastically. "I love it so much I almost can't even eat it!" She said.
"I'm glad you like it, but, please do eat it. It'll rot and start to smell if you don't, sorry to kill the mood with that." I said. "Oh! Don't forget to read the card." I said. She tore the envelope and read the card.
Though we've only known each other for a little while
I'll be right by you for every mile
Of this road we walk together
And I'll be yours, for now and forever.
Yours, Chuck. With a couple of small hearts drawn around the poem.
Pinkie looked at me with tears in her eyes and gave me another hug. I wrapped my front legs around her to hug back.
"Thank you.." She said to me sweetly.
"Happy birthday." I said back. "Hey, while we're still out here, I think I hear something."
"What's that?" She asked.
"Another musical cue!" I exclaimed.
Me: Don't you turn your back on me
Don't you walk away
Don't you tell me I don't care, cause I do
Don't you tell me I'm not the one
Don't you tell me I ain't no fun
Just tell me you like me like I like you, you know you do
When we're together, gray skies clear up
And I cheer up, to where I'm less depressed
And sincerely, from the bottom of my heart
I just can't take when we're apart
We belong together
We belong together! Yes we do,
You'll be mine forever
We belong together
We belong together
Oh, it's true
It's gonna stay this way forever
Me and you
Pinkie: If I could really talk to you
If I could find a way
I'm not shy, there's a whole lot I wanna say
Of course there is
Talk about friendship and loyalty
Talk about how much you mean to me
And I promise to always be be your side
Whenever you need me
Me: The day I met you, was the luckiest day of my life
Yeah I bet you feel the same, at least I hope you do!
Pinkie: So don't forget me, if the future should take you away
'Casue you'll always be... Part of me!
Both of us: We belong together
We belong together, yes we do!
Me: It's gonna be this way, forever!
Both of us: We belong together
We belong together, oh it's true!
Pinkie: We'll go on this way, forever! Me and you!
Me: You and me!
/
We embraced in a big hug under a lamppost as the song ended, only for the mood to be ruined by somepony yelling at us.
"Do you two know how late it is? The only place you two belong is asleep in bed!" They yelled. We laughed for a second.
"We'd better do as he says, he sounds reeeal serious." I joked.
"Race ya home!" She said galloping off.
"No fair! You had a head start!" I galloped after her.
I guess that puts an end to the birthday arc! As always, follows, favs, and reviews are appreciated! Until next time.
Songs used
"You make me feel so young". By Frank Sinatra.
"We belong together". By Randy Newman.