In the northeast reaches of Mossflower Wood a traveler had walked straight into trouble. The Diamond Dogs were nasty vicious creatures who loved to cheat, lie, steal, bully or murder, even among themselves; their chief hatred was honest toil. The only work they had done that day was to lie in wait for an unsuspecting traveler, a lanky, carefree young hare known to her friends as Dotti. She was reckless and impatient and not overfond of studying, but what she lacked in scholarly achievement she made up for in impudence, courage, and a sharp wit. The realization that she was surrounded by the Diamond Dogs did not upset her unduly.

She nodded amiably at them. "Good mornin', chaps! Not a bad old sort o' day for the time of season, wot!"

A snigger arose from the dogs.

"Lookit wot we caught- a posh rabbet!"

"Rabbets are supposed to be good diggers, aren't they? Maybe we can use her to dig up diamonds for us."

Dotti rounded on the speaker. "Specifically incorrect, don't ya know. I'm a hare, not a rabbit. Now say it correctly after me: Lookit wot we caught- a posh hare."

A black dog with a brown muzzle, his name was Tydog, stepped between them, pointing to the traveling haversack, which resembled an outsized handbag, swinging from the young hare's paw. "Empty yer bag on the ground!"

Dotti smiled sweetly at him. "Oh, I'd rather not, sir. It'd take me half the day to get the jolly old thing repacked, wot!"

A large dim looking dog pushed forward. "Then tell us wot you got in yer bag, an' don't say it isn't nothin'."

Dotti clucked reprovingly. "You mean don't say it isn't anything. Dearie me, I'll bet you never attended woodland school."

"Just show us wot's in the bag, rabbet!" Tydog snarled.

The haremaid wagged a paw at him. "There you go again with that rabbit error. Did I call you a dog? Of course I didn't. It's obvious to anybeast that you're an oversized toad. Oh, sorry, the bag. Here, you take it!"

Dotti swung the bag, hard. There was a cracking noise as it struck the dog's head, laying him out flat. She whirled upon the others, a perilous glint in her eyes. "I can forgive bad grammar and insults, but that was a good flagon of old cider, a gift for my aunt Blench, an' that oaf has just broken it with his head. Unforgivable! Ah well, there's only one thing I've got left to say to you lot… Eulalia!"

The time honored war cry of fighting hares rang out as Dotti hurled herself upon the Diamond Dogs, laying about her with her bag left and right, leaping and kicking out fiercely with powereful, rangy footpaws.

From the shelter of a broad beech nearby, another traveler watched the melee. He chuckled quietly. The young hare seemed to be doing fine, despite the number of opponents she was facing.

But then a thing happened that was bad and not good. Dotti tripped over Tydog's unconscious body and fell down! Instantly the other dogs were on top of her.

From his position behind the beech tree, the watcher decided it was time to step in and help the beleaguered hare. Suddenly the dogs were being swept left and right by a massive set of paws. They screamed and disappeared into the ground. Dotti scrambled upright swinging her bag, but there was nobeast to strike. She looked to see who had rescued her. It was a mighty male badger. The huge creature looked like one who would brook no nonsense from anybeast, from his wild dark eyes and rough, bearded muzzle to the homespun tunic and travelers cloak he wore. An immense double hilted battle sword hung at his back. He nodded sternly at the haremaid.

"I've been watching you awhile from behind yon beech. For a young un you were doing well, until they came at you from behind. Remember, if there's more than one enemy always get your back against a rock or tree."

Dotti addressed the badger none too cordially. "Well you've got a bally nerve I must say, tellin' a gel how to conduct her battles, while you sit hidden on the blinkin' sidelines watchin'. Are you sure it wasn't too much bother, havin' to jolly get off your bottom an' help me out?"

The badger shrugged noncommittally. "As I said, I thought you were doing quite well. If I'd thought you could have taken them single-pawed I wouldn't have stepped in."

Dotti was subject to instant mood changes. She smiled, scratching ruefully at her long ears. "Hmm, suppose you're right. I lost my head a bit when that flagon of rare old cider got broken. Confounded canine must have a noggin like a boulder. Never lose one's temper, that's what my old mum used to say."

The badger nodded sagely. "She sounds like a wise creature to me. Pity you never heeded her words. By the way, my name's Lord Brocktree."

The haremaid clapped a paw to her cheek. "Oh my giddy aunt! I do apologize for speakin' to you in that sharp manner, sah. I didn't know you were a Badger Lord!"

A ghost of a smile hovered around Brocktree's stern face. "No matter. You were upset at the time. What do they call you, miss?"

The haremaid did an elegant leg, half bow, half curtsy. "Dorothea Duckfontein Dillworthy at y'service, sah, but I'm generally called Dotti, though my papa always said you could call me anything as long as you didn't call me late for lunch. Beauty's always been my curse- they say I was born more beautiful than the jolly old settin' sun at solstice. That's prob'ly what made those blinkin' dogs attack me- some beasts take beauty as a sign o' weakness, y'know. I'm goin' to this blinkin' old mountain, Sallawotjacallit…"

"Salmandastron?"

"Yes, that's it. I say, how did you know?"

Brocktree seated himself against the beech tree. "Because I'm going to Salamandastron too. My father, Lord Stonepaw, is the ruler there." He unpacked provisions from his bulky haversack. "Sit down here by me, Dotti. D'you like oatcakes, cheese, and elderflower cordial?"

The haremaid plonked herself willingly on the grass. "Rather! I haven't eaten for absolute ages- almost an hour, I think. Mm, that cheese looks good!"

Lord Brocktree could not help but smile at the hungry youngster. "Well, there's plenty for too, miss. Help yourself and we'll exchange our stories, you first. Tell me, why are you being sent to Salamandastron?"

But Dotti did not answer. Instead her jaw dropped open and she grew white as a ghost. Wordlessly she pointed over the badger's shoulder. Brock turned around. Standing behind him were two great creatures with wings and horns!

"Don't be alarmed, friends," said one of the creatures with her white fur and rainbow colored mane. "We will not hurt you. I'm Celestia and this is my sister Luna."

Dotti had recovered from her shock. "I say, what in the name of seasons are you bods supposed to be, wot? You look like horses, but you have horns and wings."

Luna's fur was darker than her sister's, and her mane was dark blue. "We are Alicorns. Part Earth Pony, part Unicorn, and part Pegasus!"

"Well, begging your pardon, marms, but I've never seen creatures like you in Mossflower," Lord Brocktree said.

Dotti agreed. "Aye, I've met ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, but I've never heard of an alicorn before."

Luna drew herself up proudly. "That's because we're one of a kind."

"So what brings you to these parts?" Brocktree inquired.

"We come from a land far in the north," Celestia said. "We spent the better part of last spring fighting off vermin invaders, with an evil cat named King Mortspear as their leader."

"After an arduous battle, we slew the wicked cat," Luna chimed in. "But his eldest son, Ungatt Trunn, stole our Elements of Harmony and escaped with the remaining vermin."

"Ungatt Trunn, Ungatt Trunn…" The name felt vaguely familiar to Brocktree, but he couldn't think why.

"Hang on a tick," Dotti interjected. "What are the flippin' Elements of Harmony?"

"The Elements of Harmony are six artifacts representing the aspects of friendship," said Celestia. "Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty, and Magic. When combined together, they possess a power that nothing can equal."

"Anyway, we think Trunn and his troops are in this area somewhere, because we saw one of the vermin ships on the coast a few miles west of here," said Luna. "We examined it, but it was abandoned. Now we're trying to pick up his trail again."

"What about the two of you?" Celestia asked. "Where are you bound?"

"We are bound for the mountain of Salamandastron, on the Western Shores," Lord Brocktree replied. "In my dreams I've seen the sun setting in the seas beyond the mountain. But my feelings tell me that the place for which we are bound will have great need of a Badger Lord. One who will not shrink from evil and cruelty, a warrior ready to stand and fight!"

Celestia chuckled. "Well, you look like the very badger to do the job. It appears we're going the same direction as you for the moment. Why not travel together?"

"I'm agreeable to that," Brocktree said. "It'll be nice to have some company."

"Sooper dooper!" Dotti exclaimed.

On the shore outside Salamandastron, Stiffener Meddick, an old boxing hare, was just completing his daily exercise on the sands above the tideline. Though he was well on in seasons, Stiffener never neglected his daily routine. He had finished his dawn run, lifted stone and log weights, and was onto the final part of his duck and weave drill. Throwing a final few combination jabs into the mist, he retrieved his champion's belt from a rock and began fastening it about his hard-muscled waist.

Stiffener's scarred ears picked up an unfamiliar sound on the ebbing tide. He looked and saw a group of vermin coming toward him. Twelve blue rats and another creature covered by a cloak. Or were there two cloaked figures? He blinked again. No, it looked like only one.

Stiffener nodded toward the newcomers aggressively. "Ahoy there, mates, who are ye an' what do ye want 'ere?"

One of the rats arose and walked over to face Stiffener. He was a big, evil-looking creature, clad in armor under a tabard embroidered with a sickle hook insignia. The rat's voice was heavy with contempt as he addressed the old boxing hare.

"Koyah! Creatures of the lower orders are not allowed to speak with the Grand Fragorl. Kneel before her and stay silent until I address ye further!"

Stiffener smiled dangerously at the armored rat. "I think you'd better kneel t'me, laddie buck. A lesson in good manners wouldn't go amiss in your case."

A smart whack to the jaw caused the rat to totter groggily. Stiffener clubbed down with his left paw on the rat's shoulder, forcing him into a kneeling position. Suddenly the boxing hare found himself hemmed in on all sides by the swords of the other rats. One of them looked toward the hooded figure, who made a few gestures with her shrouded paws. The rat turned back to stiffener and spoke.

"Nobeast ever raises paw to the chosen ones and lives. You are fortunate that the Grand Fragorl has spared your miserable life, for she wishes to deliver a message to your chief, he who rules the mountain. You will take us to him."

Stiffener was not about to argue with twelve blades. He nodded to the cloaked figure, speaking as he turned to go. "Y'best foller me, marm. I'll take ye to Lord Stonepaw, though I doubt he'll offer ye breakfast if'n yore bound to keep actin' all 'igh an' mighty."

So he went in and got Lord Stonepaw, the current Badger Ruler and Brocktree's father. Then Stonepaw came out with Stiffener and three other hares.

The spokesrat staggered forward. Toying arrogantly with his sword hilt, he looked Stonepaw up and down.

"Are you the one in charge here? Speak!"

Lord Stonepaw brushed past him as if he were not there, and pointed a great gnarled paw at the cloaked one. "Who are you and why do you trespass upon the western shore with armed soliders?"

Removing the cowl of her cloak, the hooded one revealed herself. She was a blue furred ferret wearing a nose ring, from which hung a gold sickle hook amulet. Her voice carried with it the haughty tone of one used to being obeyed.

"I am Grand Fragorl to Ungatt Trunn, Ruler of the Earth. You are one of the inferior species, but he has given me permission to deliver his message to you."

Feeling his hackles begin to rise, the Badger Lord growled, "Inferior species, eh?"

"Yes, the inferior species are hares, otters, shrews, moles, mice, squirrels, ponies, and badgers. You are a badger, so you are of an inferior species." Drawing a scroll from her robe, the ferret read aloud: "Be it known to all creatures of lowly order, the days of Ungatt Trunn are here. All of these lands and the seas that skirt them are from hereon in his property. You have until nightfall to vacate this place. You must take nothing with you, neither victuals not weapons. You will also leave behind you any serving beasts who are of use. This is the will and the law of Ungatt Trunn, he who holds the power to make the stars fall from the sky and the earth to tremble. Obey or die!"

Stiffener Meddick raised his javelin. "Just say the word, m'lud, an' we'll give 'em blood 'n' vinegar. Us lower orders are pretty good at things like that, y'know!"

Stonepaw touched Stiffener's javelin so that it pointed down to the sand. He heaved a sigh of resignation as he replied to the Grand Fragorl.

"Deliver this message back to whatever lunatic scum you serve. Tell him that Lord Stonepaw of Salamandastron is accustomed to the blowing of windbags, as your master will find to his cost if he dares to land here. Now get out of my sight and take these blue-painted idiots with you!"

Wordlessly the ferret and her soldiers retreated to their boat and rowed off into the mists.

Sailears, a garrulous old female warrior, twirled her lance nonchalantly. "Nice little parlay, wot. Well, is that it?"

Shaking his grizzled old head, Stonepaw turned and stumped back into his beloved mountain. "I wish it was, friend. I wish it was!"

The first thing he did when he got back inside was to find Fleetscut, his right paw hare. Fleetscut was eating stuff. All hares eat a lot.

"It looks like our mountain is about to come under attack," Stonepaw said.

Fleetscut nodded, his cheeks bulging. "I know, sire, I heard everything from inside," he said as he shoveled oatmeal into his mouth with his paws.

"Have you still got the ability and wind to be called a runner, Fleetscut?"

The ancient hare laughed mirthlessly. "S'pose I could still kick up a bit o' dust, m'lud. Why?"

Stonepaw lowered his voice to a whisper. "All the hares on this mountain are old. The young ones left long ago. I want you to search the countryside for young warrior hares, or any creatures you can find. We need help as we've never needed it before. Find them and bring them back to Salamandastron, as fast as you can!"

Fleetscut bowed dutifully as he flexed his paws. "I'll give it a jolly good try, sire!"

Lord Stonepaw hugged his old friend briefly. "I know you will, you old grasswalloper. Good luck!"

As Brocktree, Dotti, and the alicorn sisters walked through the woods, Dotti unfolded her story. "Well, what with one bally thing or another, I was always in trouble back in the mideastern hills. If a confounded pie went missin' from a windowsill, or somebeast had been at the cider store, guess who got the blinkin' blame? Me! Trouble causer, rabble rouser, scoff swiper, I've been called all of those, y'know. Not to mention frogwalloper an' butter wouldn't melt in me mouth. Fiddle dee dee, I say, 'twas all because of my fatal beauty. They always pick on the pretty ones, I've already told you that. Anyhow, just after Grandpa's whiskers went afire an' some villain tore the seat out of Uncle Septimus's britches, my dear old parents made a decision. They sent me to live with my Aunt Blench at Salamandastron. She's the chief cook there- a real old battleax, I believe."

"This looks like a good place to make camp," Brocktree said after a while. "There's a brook beyond that tall elm yonder. Dotti, you go and fill this bowl with water while I get a small fire going."

The haremaid sprang up, grabbing the bowl from Brocktree's big paws and saluting smartly in a comical manner. "Brook beyond tall elm! Fill bowl with water! Yes sah! Three bags full sah! Goin' right away sah! About turn, quick march! One two hup!"

The other three grinned as they watched her strut off, trip, send the bowl flying, and catch it clumsily.

"It's a good thing you didn't tell her to light the fire," Luna said once the hare was out of sight. "She'd probably have sent the whole forest up in flames."

"At least she can't flood the forest with a single bowlful of water," Celestia murmured.

Brocktree took out his tinderbox. "Ah well, at least she's company."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Flickering shadows from the fire hovered about the woodland glade; somewhere close by a nightjar warbled in the branches of a sycamore. Dotti scraped a wooden ladle around the empty bowl and licked it. "Confounded good soup that was, sah."

"Can all Badger Lords cook as well as you?" Celestia asked.

"Maybe you'd best fire my Aunt Blench an' promote y'self to head cook when we get to Salamathingee, wot?"

Brocktree hooded his eyes in mock ferocity. "If I do become head cook I'll make sure that you get lots of sticky, greasy pots to wash, young miss!"

Dotti began rummaging in her bag. "If the scoff tastes as good as that I'll lick 'em all shinin' clean. Least I can do is to render you a little ditty to aid your digestion, sah."

"A song would be nice," Celestia said.

Dotti peered into the bag as she rooted around in its interior. "Oh corks, half the beads have fallen off this blinkin' shawl the mater gave me for Aunt Blench. It's absolutely soaked with cider, too. Aha! Here's me faithful old harecordion. A few of the keys 'n' reeds are stickin', but the cider may have loosened 'em up a touch. Right, here goes, pin your ears back and get ready for a treat. Wot?"

To describe the haremaid's voice as being akin to a frog trapped beneath a hot stone would have been a great injustice, to both frog and stone. Moreover, the instrument she was playing on sounded like ten chattering squirrels swinging on a rusty gate. However, Dotti played and sang on blithely.

Her companions squinched their eyes shut, fervently hoping that the song did not contain many verses.

"I am but a broken-hearted maid,

My tale I'll tell to you,

As I sit alone in this woodland glade,

Yearnin' for a pudding or two.

I hi hi hi, si hi hi hi hi hiiiiiing!

Whack cum folly doo, whoops cum whang,

The greatest song my grandma sang

Was to her family of twenty-three,

Ho dish up the pudding, save some for me!

Twas made from fruit an' arrowroot,

Hard pears an' apples too,

Some honey that the bees chucked out,

That set as hard as glue,

Some comfrey leaf an' bulrush sheaf,

An' damsons sour as ever,

She stirred the lot in a big old pot

While we sang 'Fail me never.'

When all of a sudden Grandma's puddin'

Burst right out the pot,

Round as a boulder, not much older, fifty times as hot!

It shot down the road, laid out a toad,

An' knocked two hedgehogs flat,

Splashed in the lake an' slew a snake,

An' the frogs cried 'Wot was that?'

Oh deary me calamity, oh woe an' lack a day,

Without a pudding to me name

I'll sit an' pine away… awaaaaaaay

Whack foholly doohoohoodelll daaaayeeeeee!"

"I see why her family sent her away," Luna muttered to Celestia.

But there was one creature listening who actually enjoyed the song. A pink pony with a strange brown hat on her head stepped out from behind a tree, clapping her hooves.

"That was wondermarvelously spendiferious!" she shouted. "Sing it again!"

So Dotti sang it again, and the pink pony tried to sing along, but she didn't have very good pitch, and she didn't really know the words, so it sounded like a train wreck. Luna was grinding her teeth. This duet was more than she could take.

Brocktree sensed her discomfort, and when the singers paused for breath, he tried to divert the pony by asking, "What's your name?"

"I'm Chancellor Puddinghead Pie!" the pony laughed, jumping up and down, and the badger realized she was actually wearing a bowl of pudding on her head. "I'm the leader of the Earth Ponies in these parts. What sort of pony are you? I've never seen one with a great stripy head like yours!"

Brocktree grinned. "Oh, I'm a badger pony. I'm called Lord Brocktree."

"A badger pony? I've never heard of those!"

"Well, actually, that was a joke. I'm not really a pony. I'm just a badger."

"A joke! HAHAHAHAHA!" Chancellor Puddinghead started rolling on the ground with laughter, even though she didn't actually understand the joke.

"Are you all right, miss?" Celestia asked.

Puddinghead straightened up. "Yeah, I'm fine. That was just so funny-"

"It wasn't that funny," Luna said.

Then Chancellor Puddinghead did a gasp. "Wait- you're alicorns! I thought you were a myth, like Bigfoot, or moles!"

"Oh, we're real all right," said Luna. "My name is Luna and this is my sister Celestia."

"And my name is Dorothea Dillworthy Duckfontein," said Dorothea Dillworthy Duckfontein. "But my friends call me Dotti. I've also been called a fatal beauty." She fluttered her eyelashes.

"Yeah, I can see that," said Chancellor Puddinghead. "Do you guys wanna come stay the night at my house? That's gotta be better than camping in the woods!"

"All right, friend," said Lord Brocktree. "Lead us to it!"

Ungatt Trunn was relaxing on his luxurious yacht, the Trunn Princess. The wildcat's fur was dyed blue, but you could tell that it was orange underneath. He didn't dress like a typical warlord, wearing only a dark suit with a pink tie, but you only had to look at his face to see that he was a ruthless conqueror. Beneath the striped brow, permanently creased in a frown, the wildcat's fearsome black and gold eyes remained hooded and unblinking, his stiff white whiskers overhanging two sharp amber fangs, which showed even when his mouth was shut. He sat at a table made from the skulls of his enemies.

The Grand Fragorl entered the cabin, trying to avoid the spider webs that festooned the floor.

Ungatt said in his coarse rasping voice, "Did you see my mountain? What took place there? Tell me all and speak true, or flies will be born from your carcass to feed my spiders."

Though the heat in the cabin was stifling, the ferret felt cold sweat break out beneath her long robes. She spoke, fighting to stop her voice trembling.

"O fearsome one, I saw your mountain, though not all of it, only what the mists would allow. I was not invited inside. It is called Salamandastron, just as you said. The place is defended by inferior species, rabbit things, who all appear to be well on in seasons. They are ruled by a stripedog called Lord Stonepaw who is even older than they. He said many insulting things, which I fear to repeat, but mainly he said it would be to your cost if you dared to land upon his shores. I followed your orders, O Ungatt Trunn, and not stopping to bandy words with the stripedog or his creatures, I returned to you immediately."

Only the flies could be heard as they buzzed around the Conqueror's stateroom. A fly swooped across Ungatt's vision and his paw shot out like greased lightning as he caught it. Holding it to his ear, he listened to its anguished hum, then tossed it swiftly upward, where it lodged in a cobweb. In a flash two voracious spiders were upon the trapped insect. Ungatt never looked up, his hooded eyes fixed on the ferret.

"You did well, my Fragorl, you may rise and go now."

After the Fragorl left, Ungatt Trunn strode over to an armoire in the corner. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. "The Blue Hordes have been crippled ever since my father died, but I will make them great again. I will establish my own realm, ruling it from a mountain that is greater than any other. Tonight I shall make the stars fall from the sky!"

He reached into a drawer and took out a box. The Elements of Harmony were inside. He put them all on, saying, "Necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, weird crown thingy. I'm ready to go!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rats, weasels, ferrets, and foxes came marching up along the shores, carrying blue banners that said TRUNN in big white letters.

Flanked by two score of vermin soldiers, Ungatt Trunn strode up to the rocky fortress. The cat's keen eyes flicked up to the long open rectangle of Stonepaw's room. There stood the Badger Lord of Salamandastron, clad in war armor, holding an enormous javelin.

"So, you are still here, stripedog?" Ungatt Trunn called cattily.

The reply was immediate. "Aye, to the death, stripecat!"

The wildcat's fangs showed in a sneer of derision. "So be it. Twill be your death, not mine!"

"Big words," Stonepaw returned mockingly. "I've already heard big words from the bad-mannered scum you sent here earlier today. They mean naught to me, the ravings of fools and idiots. Your messenger said you would make the stars fall from the sky. Look up, braggart. They are still there and always will be!"

"Wrong!" Ungatt Trunn yelled.

Like a ghost, a hooded figure materialized out of the night.

Dotti's Aunt Blench was standing next to Stiffener by a window. "Is that the Grand Fragorl?" she asked whisperingly.

Stiffener squinted. "I can't tell. It looks like her cloak, anyway."

"These are the days of Ungatt Trunn the fearsome beast," the figure said. "His glorious hands hath conquered many lands. Know you that he always speaks truth. If he says the stars will fall from the sky, then even they must obey. Look!"

Ungatt Trunn held up the Elements of Harmony, and instantly, countless lights appeared on the horizon. Land and sea were ablaze, as far as the eye could gaze. Stiffener peered up at the sky. Because of the intensity of light below, not a single star could be seen, just a wide black void.

The cat's voice echoed off the mountain in the awestruck silence. "I see you have no scornful comments to make, stripedog. You have witnessed the power of Ungatt Trunn. You have left it too late to retreat from the mountain as I commanded you to do. Now you must reap the penalty. I will make you pay."

Bramwil, the oldest hare on the mountain, came shakily forward to clutch Stonepaw's paw, his voice trembling like a reed in the wind. "Lord, I would not have believed it, had I not seen it with my own eyes. What can we do against one who is truly magic?"

Stonepaw patted Bramwil's stooped back gently. "The stars are billions of miles away. They could never fall to earth, and if they did, we would not still be alive because the earth would be instantly destroyed. Stars are great balls of fire you know. What we saw was merely an illusion."

Stonepaw was right. It was an illusion. But Ungatt Trunn was not the one who had created the illusion, though he thought he was.

The voice of Ungatt Trunn rang out again. "Let the enemies of Ungatt Trunn feel the earth tremble!"

The vermin army began to jump up and down in perfect unison, chanting as they did, "Ungatt Trunn! Ungatt Trunn! Ungatt Trunn!" Water splashed high on the tideline and clouds of sand began rising.

Though he could scarcely be heard above the din, the hare named Bungworthy funneled both paws around his mouth and shouted at Stonepaw, "Look, lord! The earth is shaking! See! Great ripples are spreading seaward! The shore is shaking where they jump! Great seasons, the earth is shaking. It's shaking!"

As suddenly as it had started the demonstration stopped. Ungatt Trunn stood smiling grimly up at Stonepaw as the sand clouds settled and the ripples receded.

"Well, stripedog, did you feel the earth shake? Did I not speak truly? Throw down your arms and come out!" Ungatt climbed down from his rock perch and stood at the head of his army, confident he had made his point.

Lord Stonepaw merely grunted. "Hah! You might have felt the earth tremble, cat, but Salamandastron remained rock-firm- we didn't feel a thing. Now let me show you something!"

Stonepaw hurled his big war javelin right at his foe. The ranks closed around the wildcat. A rat, transfixed, fell dead, another behind him sorely wounded. No matter how fearsome the foe, or how great their numbers, when it came to fighting, Badger Lords were renowned. Old as he was, the present ruler was no exception. Lord Stonepaw of Salamandastron had begun the war.

Chancellor Puddinghead's home was a cozy dugout carved into the side of a hill, with a chimney sticking out of the top. The door was standing wide open, so Celestia and Luna stepped in. Brocktree was about to follow them when he saw Chancellor Puddinghead climbing up the hill onto the roof.

"Hi there! What are you doing?" he called. "Can't you just go in through the door like the rest of us?"

"Maybe the rest of you can go through the door," Puddinghead answered. "But I'm a Chancellor, so I need to be smart and think outside the box. And that means I can think inside the chimney!" And she jumped down the chimney.

"Seems logical to me, wot," said Dotti and she jumped down the chimney too.

Brocktree sighed and just went through the door in the normal way. As he entered the dwelling there was a crash. He saw Dotti lying on top of Chancellor Puddinghead on the floor. Both of them were covered with pudding.

"I'm awfully sorry, old gel," said Dotti. "Was that my flippin' foot in your eye?"

"Nah, it was my fault. I didn't get out of the way in time," said Chancellor Puddinghead. "Here, let me clean that off for ya."

She bent down and started trying to suck the chocolate pudding off of Dotti's foot. Dotti began licking pudding off the Chancellor's frizzy pink mane. The sight was truly one to behold.

Brocktree gazed about wistfully. Lanterns of varying hues hung everywhere, shelves and cupboards were carved neatly into the rocks, the floors were strewn with woven rush mats, and a tiny alligator dozed close to the embers on the hearth, a household pet.

"Except for the alligator, this place puts me in mind of Brockhall, my old home. Hmm, don't suppose I'll ever see it again."

"Why not?" Celestia asked. "Why did you leave home?"

The Badger Lord patted her hoof. "I was restless, just like all Badger Lords before me. It grieved me to leave behind my young son. Boar the Fighter I named him. A badger's son is his pride and joy, when he is a babe. But he must grow up, and it is a fact that two male badgers cannot live together in peace, especially Badger Lords, for that is what Boar will grow to be one day."

"I'm glad alicorns aren't like that," Celestia said. "My sister and I will always live together in peace, isn't that right, Luna?" This was before Luna became Nightmare Moon.

"I had to observe the unwritten law," Brocktree continued. "I left Brockhall and began roaming, to follow my dream."

"What dream is that?" Luna asked. "I know something about dreams."

"A vision I see in my mind's eye, sometimes when I'm awake, or other times when I sleep. It must be the same picture that other badgers have dreamed. A mountain that once shot out flames and molten rock, older than time itself, its fires now gone. Waiting, always waiting for me on the shores of a great ocean. I could not describe the way to Salamandastron, for that is what I know the mountain is called, nor could I draw a map of the route. But something in my brain, my very heart, is guiding me there."

"I'm glad you know the way to your mountain," said Celestia. "I don't know how much longer we will be traveling together. We need to find Ungatt Trunn, who has stolen our Elements."

"You don't think he could have gone to this Salamandastron place, do you, sister?" Luna asked.

Brocktree and Celestia looked at each other. Neither of them had considered this possibility before.

"Well, we'll see," said Brocktree. "Right now we need to get some sleep."

"Slumber party!" Chancellor Puddinghead cheered.

So they all went to bed. Dotti climbed into Puddinghead's bed with Puddinghead, while Celestia and Luna curled up on window ledges and Brocktree stretched out on the floor, as there wasn't a bed in the house that could support his weight.

It must have been sometime before the dawn hours when the entire household was roused by Brocktree.

It was a nightmare, but clear as day: a swaying room, decked with cobwebs and spiders, and flies buzzing everywhere. Tossing and turning in his sleep, the Badger Lord tried to rid his mind of the unbidden vision. Then suddenly a great evil-looking wildcat appeared, wearing five necklaces at once, its voice grating through him like a rusty blade. An ominous shadow loomed behind the cat.

"Come, show your face to me, come to my mountain and meet with your fate. I am Ungatt Trunn the Fearsome Beast; you will die by my paw the day you look upon my face!"

Still in the grip of nightmare, the Badger Lord sprang up. Seizing his battle blade, he roared out in a thunderous voice, "It is my mountain! I am the Lord Brocktree of Brockhall! My sword will look into your mind and touch your heart on the day we meet, Ungatt Trunn! Eulalia!"

Celestia was knocked to one side as Luna hurled herself at her, shoving her out of danger in the nick of time. Brocktree's great battle blade whooshed past them a hair's breadth away, cleaving a rock ledge in two and plowing a furrow in the floor like a small trench.

"Back! Get back, all of ye!" Luna was up and waving her hooves and wings at Dotti and Chancellor Puddinghead, scurrying about, wanting to see what all the disturbance was about. The dark alicorn acted swiftly. Taking a jug of cold mint tea from a table nearby, she sloshed it accurately in Brocktree's face. The Badger Lord staggered back and slumped on the ledge. Freeing a paw from his sword handle, he wiped the liquid from his eyes. Then he looked at the creatures all about him in bewilderment.

"The room, it was moving from side to side, spiders, webs, flies, everywhere… every-"

Without warning the double hilted sword was in his paws again. He swung it up in a fighting stance, glaring at everybeast with dangerous eyes. "Where's the cat? Did any of you see him? Tell me!"

With great courage, Luna stepped forward, placing herself in the path of the monstrous blade. "Put up your weapon, friend. 'Twas only a dream."

With a dazed look Brocktree lowered the sword and sat down. "I don't understand. He was here, his name is Ungatt Trunn, and he wanted to do battle with me."

"Ungatt Trunn!" Celestia gasped. "That's the beast who stole the Elements of Harmony!"

Puddinghead was jumping up and down frantically. "I can't follow any of this!"

Celestia explained the quest for Salamandastron to the earth pony, as well as her and her sister's reasons for needing to catch up with Ungatt Trunn. When the Badger Lord recounted the details of his nightmare, Puddinghead had something to say.

"Hang on a sec! I'll be right back!" She dashed out of the house, leaving a cloud of dust behind.

A little while later she was back with another earth pony, who was orange with blond hair. "This is Smart Cookie, my assistant," Puddinghead said. "Tell 'em what you saw, Cookie!"

Smart Cookie had a distinctive southern twang in her voice that made the other beasts feel instinctively that they could trust her. "Pleasured to meet ya. Well now, 'bout three moons back Ah was roamin', southwest o' here. Ah woke up one morn an' saw a big ole army o' varmints, all painted blue, trampin' west to the seashores. They was a-chantin', like this. The leader shouted… Ungatt! An' t'others shouted back three times… Trunn! Trunn! Trunn! Ah watched till they vanished in the distance, trampin' an' a-shoutin' all the way. Ungatt!... Trunn! Trunn! Trunn! Just like that! Whoa Nelly, Ah said to mahself, there's somethin' to tell the ponyfolk back home. But Chancellor Puddin'head said to keep silent about it. So Ah did till now."

"Thank you for your honesty, Smart Cookie," said Celestia. "This proves that Ungatt Trunn is at Salamandastron. I guess we have a common goal after all, Lord Brocktree."

It took a lot of persuading to stop Brocktree following the vermin instantly. In the end, he agreed to wait to set off until after breakfast.

Chancellor Puddinghead and Smart Cookie were surely masters of victuals, unequaled at baking, boiling, grilling, or cooking any edible they could find.

"What I always say is, when a chap's getting hungry, she likes some good old vittles," Dotti said as she shoveled oatmeal into her mouth with her paws just as Fleetscut had done back in Chapter 3. "I've never tasted honeyed oatmeal like that in m'life. I say, Puddinghead, how the dickens d'you make it taste so jolly good, wot?"

The Chancellor chuckled. "I chop in lots of hazelnuts an' chestnuts, cover it with sprinkles of apple 'n' pear flakes, and then I bake it slow in the oven."

"Food is kinda our specialty," said Smart Cookie. "We spend our days cultivatin' goods to sell to other tribes."

"That reminds me of a riddle!" Puddinghead exclaimed brightly. "When is a pony not a pony? When she turns into a pasture!"

Brocktree scratched his striped muzzle. "What does that have to do with-"

"I say, super wheeze!" Dotti cried. "Hey, what kind of pony only comes out at night? A night mare!"

Once the two of them got started, they couldn't stop.

"How much money does a bronco have? A few bucks!"

"Oh, oh, oh, I've got one, I've got one!" Dotti shouted. "What goes buhurr ouch?"

"Buhurr ouch?" Luna interjected. "This is getting ridiculous."

Chancellor Puddinghead supplied the solution. "Two moles fightin' over a damson pudding, everybeast knows that one!"

"Here's one my Uncle Septimus told me," said Dotti. "What d'you call a hare who can balance four pints of barley beer on her head?"

Puddinghead was puzzled.

"Minton!" Dotti declaimed.

"That makes no sense. Why would you call her Minton?" Luna demanded.

"Well, actually, you don't really call her Minton. The way old Uncle Sep told it to me, her name was Beatrix. Sounds a bit like Beer Tricks, wot. But I thought it was funnier to call her Minton!" Dotti and Chancellor Puddinghead dissolved into shrieks of laughter and collapsed to the floor, where they remained for quite some time.

"I'm not sure how much more of this I can take," Luna muttered to her sister.

"Ya get used to it after a while," Cookie said.

"Oh, leave them be, Luna," said Celestia. "Laughter is one of the Elements of Harmony, after all. And they're not doing us any harm."

Brocktree levered himself away from the spread and shouldered his sword. "Come on, Dotti. Are you going to sit there feeding your famine-stricken face all day?"

"I bally well wish I could," Dotti said, sitting up. "But I suppose we have to get goin'."

Chancellor Puddinghead was gnawing her lip, staring off into space, when Celestia nudged her. "Go on, Chancellor, say it. You want to go with us, don't you?"

The pink pony stood up and stretched before answering. "I've been for too long in one place now. I need somethin' to do. If you'll have me, I'm with you all the way."

"Ah want to come too," Smart Cookie declared. "Ah like to travel."

Brocktree liked the earth ponies in spite of their odd ways. "Excellent," he said. "I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get."

It was sometime in the late evening when Fleetscut collapsed. A combination of overwhelming fatigue, thirst and hours of strong sunlight, together with the fact that the old hare had run almost without stopping for almost two days, brought him down. Head hanging, paws dragging, he tottered about on the open flatlands like a beast gone crazy. He did not realize he had fallen at first. Fleetscut lay on the rough ground, the tongue hanging dry from his mouth, footpaws still moving in a running action, kicking up small dustclouds. In his delirium he squinted at a rock, imagining it was Lord Stonepaw gazing sternly at him.

"Sire, there ain't a hare nowhere to be found," he croaked feebly. "I tried, I did my best for you, but alas, lord, the young hares are gone from the land…"

Fleetscut's eyes glazed over and he fell back senseless.

He awoke to a stream of water dripping onto his tongue. He became aware of a pair of hooves in front of him. A white unicorn in a purple robe was standing over him.

"Most creatures of long seasons would be dead after putting themselves through such a trial. I'm called Princess Platinum."

Fleetscut pushed himself up to his knees. He saw that he was in a pine grove."Thanks for savin' my life, marm."

Princess Platinum regarded him gravely. "Your paws are badly torn. Let me heal them." She bent down and touched her unicorn horn to each of his paws. To Fleetscut's surprise, the wounds disappeared, but he still felt sore.

"Are you from the mountain south of here?" Princess Platinum asked.

The hare nodded. "Aye. My name's Fleetscut."

Platinum sat down. "You've got big trouble over there. I've been watching blue vermin marching downcoast for days, all headed for your mountain."

"Down the coast? I thought they were coming up from the south."

"They must have separated into multiple groups, to surround the mountain," the unicorn said. "It's a lucky thing you escaped in time."

Fleetscut was indignant. "Escaped? What d'ye take me for, marm? Do I look like a blinkin' deserter? For your information, I was sent out by Lord Stonepaw to scout out reinforcements."

"Well, there aren't any of your kind to be found in this area," said Platinum. "Rest now, drink some soup and sleep. We'll talk more when my friend comes back."

Rest was the last thought on Fleetscut's mind, but no sooner had he drunk half a beaker of mushroom soup than the vessel slipped from his paws and he went into a deep slumber.

A few hours later, another unicorn came. This one was purple and she had dark hare.

"What news, Clover the Clever?" said Princess Platinum.

Clover the Clever saluted her. "The mountain of Salamandastron has fallen, conquered by the Blue Ones. I could not get too near, but I saw from a distance some vermin scaling the slopes. They carried large new banners to put up there. Maybe we should've helped the badger and the hares."

"A unicorn never stoops to fighting!" Princess Platinum declared. "We'd be nothing but slain carcasses rolling in the tide shallows now, had we gone up against such a force. The Badger Lord and his hares were mad, brave, beasts, they did what they had to. But it was a foregone conclusion."

Fleetscut's voice hit her back like a whip. "Cowards! You knew what was happening and you didn't do anything!"

Platinum turned on him. "Nobeast calls Princess Platinum a coward!"

"Unicorns never fight, eh?" Fleetscut sneered. "Prob'ly cause you know you can't win! See how long you can hide out in this pine grove until Ungatt Trunn's Blue Hordes find you. Then you'll wish you'd helped to fight him an' save Salamandastron!"

The unicorn princess stood before him, her eyes blazing. "Any other beast would have been dead by now, rabbit. But I'll prove to you that unicorns aren't cowards. We'll go with you on your search- aye, and carry you if need be. I'll help you build an army- rabbits, or any creature crazy enough to go against the hordes on yonder mountains. I, Princess Platinum, do not do this out of comradeship for ye. I do it to prove that I am not a coward!"

"I think you already said that," Clover mentioned.

Fleetscut curled his lip scornfully. "Do it for whatever reason you like, Princess. But do it! And by the way, I'm a hare, not a rabbit!"

Princess Platinum was trembling all over with rage. "Oho, I'll do it, never fret about that, hare," she growled. "Once a princess gives her word, you can stake your life on it!"

Clover the Clever stepped between them, trying to defuse the situation. "Okay! Great! So I guess we'd better get him some rations together for the journey, right?"

Fleetscut's mood instantly changed. "Rations? That means scoff, right? I say, jolly good! What are we eating?"

Clover gave him a bag. "This is what all ponies take on long journeys. Dried fruit and berries stuffed into a farl of rye bread which has been well soaked in honey. A creature can march all day on just a few mouthfuls, providing there's water to drink."

The bag was awkward on Fleetscut's body; it was a saddlebag, not made for two-legged beasts. But he had to accept it because that was the only kind of bag the unicorns had.

"So we'll go and see Udara Groundslay," Princess Platinum announced. "He will know where to find more hares."

"Who in the name of seasons is Udara Groundslay?" Fleetscut asked.

"You'll find out soon enough, friend," Clover the Clever said.

It turned out that Udara Groundslay was a short-eared owl. Unfortunately, Udara had been born without the gift of flight, but this did not seem to worry him one bit. He lived in a huge stone outcrop dotted with gnarled trees and stunted bush, which he had named Rockwood. Nothing moved or went on there that he did not know about. Udara was immensely wise and very fierce. He protected his territory jealously. When he saw the two unicorns and the hare entering his domain, he ruffled his brown and umber barred feathers and called, "Rukkudooh! What brings horned horses to my lands?"

Fleetscut had never heard a creature speaking so slowly and deliberately. Moreover, the murderous curved beak of Udara scarcely moved when he spoke.

Princess Platinum politely let a moment elapse before replying. "We have brought a longears with us. He seeks news of his kind, or any other beasts seen hereabouts."

The owl closed both eyes and twitched his ear feathers gently. Fleetscut thought he had gone to sleep, but then the big golden orbs opened again.

"Hurrukooh! Udara sees all, even in the moondark. Longears have passed through here, young ones, noisy and frivolous creatures. Horsebirds, also. I like not the horsebirds- they are rough, ill-mannered beasts."

Fleetscut could not restrain himself. "How many longears went through here, and when?"

Udara's body did not move, but his head turned as if it were a separate part of him, in a great half-circle. He regarded the old hare like a piece of mud stuck to his talon, his eyes anything but friendly.

"Hoorokkuh! You have lessons in courtesy to learn, longears. Speak only when you are spoken to. Your seasons have not made you any more sensible than the young ones of your kind."

The head turned in leisurely fashion until Udara was facing Princess Platinum once more. "Nothing in this life is free, believe my words. If the longears wants more information, he must pay me."

Platinum shot an inquiring glance at Fleetscut, who nodded his head vigorously. The unicorn spoke for him. "The longears wants to know what you require as payment?"

"Hoooooooh!" Udara let out the long slow noise as if he were considering. "The sweet heavy bread you carry, Udara likes that, it is good."

Fleetscut tossed his ration pack to Princess Platinum, who placed it on the ground, close to the owl's talons. Udara Groundslay looked down at it. His eyes closed, then reopened. "Uhkuhkuhk! More. I want more than just one!"

"But I don't have any more," Fleetscut said. "They only gave me one."

Udara kicked the packs lightly. "Hootooh! Then you wasted your time coming here, longears."

Fleetscut had put up with enough. "Just a tick there, featherbag, I think you're the one needs a lesson in courtesy. Maybe I'll just take my pack and leave, wot!"

Princess Platinum tossed her ration alongside that of Fleetscut generously. "There, now you have two! Give the longears your information."

"Humrumrum! There is a certain longears, a hare, not of the mountain from which you come. They say he is a March hare, wild and perilous. I have not met him- I do not know. Many longears are gathering to him at a secret place. I have heard them whisper his name- King Bucko Bigbones!"

Fleetscut could not help cutting in. "King?"

Udara's huge golden eyes blinked reprovingly. "I did not ask you to interrupt me. If you want to talk, then carry on, and I will hold my silence, longears!"

Platinum apologized for Fleetscut hastily. "Forgive him. It is the manner of longears to be excited. I will vouch for his silence. Please, the floor is yours." She shot a warning glance at the old hare.

Udara continued: "Whoohum! One of the longears dropped a piece of bark scroll. Reading is not part of my wisdom and of no interest to me. That is all I have to say. Here is the writing- you may keep it. You will be gone from my land before noontide."

Lifting his left wing slightly, with great effort, Udara allowed a small folded scroll to drop to the ground. Fleetscut pounced upon it. Without a backward glance, Udara Groundslay, the flightless owl, ambled off to pursue his solitary existence.

Fleetscut patted the princess's shoulder. "You're a jolly good pal, Platinum. I won't forget the way you offered up your pack to get my information. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

"I had to do it," the unicorn explained. "If you had walked away with your pack, he'd have hunted and killed you. Us, too."

Fleetscut was at a loss for words!

"He's not a nice beast," Clover the Clever said.

"Well, let's see what the message says," said Platinum.

Fleetscut read it aloud.

"Two points north of dawn,

Find stone and shade and drink,

Follow where no water runs,

My sign you'll see, I think.

Discover then a streamwolf's ford,

Tug thrice upon the royal cord,

Then my honor guard will bring,

Loyal subjects to their king!"

Fleetscut was outraged. "Tchah, the very idea of it, a hare promotin' himself to king, the pollywoggle, an' doubtless lurin' our young Salamandastron warriors to his side. Who does he think he is, wot wot?"

Princess Platinum was outraged too. "The first four lines of the poem follow an ABAB rhyme scheme, but the last four lines have an AABB rhyme scheme! How can he be a good leader if he's not consistent?"

"I think we're getting distracted here," said Clover. "Let's focus on solving the riddle."

"It's no bally use," Fleetscut said after a while. "This Bucko Bigbones is too smart for us. Two points north of dawn, what in the name o' seasons is that supposed to mean?"

"I think I know what it means," Clover said. "Dawn rises in the east. Two points north of east- two points on the compass, that is- would be northeast. That's the direction we've got to travel."

Fleetscut sniffed. "I knew that, just testin' you." He didn't really.

"I wonder what's in the northeast?" Princess Platinum asked.

"Why don't we climb up this Rockwood and check it out?" Clover suggested.

They climbed the cliff and they saw a dried-up stream bed below. Clover pointed with her hoof. "That must be the path we're supposed to take. Follow where no water runs."

"Wizard!" Fleetscut exclaimed. "They don't call you 'The Clever' for nothing, eh wot?"

A solemn call came out of nowhere. "Kuwhoohuuuh! You are still on my land and the morn is half gone. Beware if you are still here at noon!"

When the owl called, Fleetscut fell over and hurt his knees. Biting his lip, he shouted back, "Yah, go an' boil your beak, mattress bottom!"

Ungatt Trunn had pretty much taken over Salamandastron. His horde had killed most of the hares, and the rest had been taken prisoner, kept in a cell high in the mountain. However, Lord Stonepaw and some of his high-ranking officers were nowhere to be found. Ungatt was sure they were hiding somewhere inside the mountain caves, but he wasn't too sure.

He had ordered his guards to bring the female hare Sailears in for questioning. As two rats carried Sailears in between them, she kicked and fought like mad. "Rotters! Cads! I hope to see the day you're all chucked from the mountaintop, wot!"

"Come on, you've got to be tough with her!" Ungatt Trunn shouted at the rats. "In my day, beasts knew how to deal with the lower orders!"

It ended up taking six more vermin to subdue Sailears. In the end, they tied her up with a rope and knocked her to the floor roughly. Ungatt stood over her, staring down into her face with menace. "Where is the stripedog?" he eviled.

Sailears stuck out her chin stubbornly. "I don't jolly well know, an' I wouldn't tell you if I did!"

"You are remarkably persistent in your loyalties," the cat said. "But you don't seem to understand. This is my mountain now! You will obey me!"

"It's not your mountain, and it never will be," Sailears said calmly. "We are all free, in our minds an' in our hearts."

Ungatt Trunn smiled a grim smile. "Let me tell you a story. When I was a kitten, I was building a tower with blocks. But I didn't have enough. So I asked my younger brother, Verdauga Greeneyes, for some of his blocks. He said I could borrow his blocks, but only if I returned them to him when I was done. Well, I used all of my blocks, and then all of his blocks. Then I glued them all together!" He laughed coarsely. It was a grotesque sound. "Verdauga never got those blocks back. The point is, I've always gotten what I want, even when I was a child. And if you continue to resist me, you'll find that out to your cost. Now, where is Lord Stonestripe?"

"Stonepaw," Sailears corrected him.

"Whatever! Where is he?" the cat snapped.

"I already told you, I've no flippin' idea. That's the truth, wot."

Infuriated, Ungatt Trunn stomped on the hare's face, breaking her nose. Then he turned to a tall fox who was standing nearby. "Karangool! Waterboard her!"

The hard-faced fox saluted. "Yarr, Mightiness!" He picked Sailears up and shoved her face into a bucket of water. She couldn't breathe. She was terrified. Drowning had always been her greatest fear.

As her lungs started to fill up with water, Ungatt Trunn called out, "That's enough, fox! We don't want to kill her right away!" To Sailears' relief, Karangool released her. She fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

"Are you going to tell us where the badger is now?" Ungatt demanded.

If she had actually known Stonepaw's whereabouts, Sailears might have been tempting to give in at this point. But the plain fact was, she had nothing to tell. However, she was determined not to show weakness. She sat in stony silence.

"I think she be needin' another drink, Might'ness," said Karangool.

"Very well," said Ungatt Trunn. "We'll see if that loosens her tongue."

The fox pressed the hare's face into the water again, but this time he held her under for too long. Very soon he saw the mistake he had made. "Might'ness, she dead!"

"It's her own fault," the cat snarled. "She should have come clean with the information. Bring in the next one!"

"Yarr, Might'ness!" Karangool said as he left.

Fleetscut had not been enjoying the journey northeast. He had given all his food away, and he was starving, or felt like he was, anyway. Clover the Clever still had her bag, and she shared some food with Fleetscut, but the hare unwisely scoffed all she gave him right away.

"You may want to conserve. Who knows how long we'll be walking?" the purple unicorn said to him, but he ignored her. Soon he was feeling the emptiness in his stomach again.

"Yaaagh! Ooh, the famine cramps, me paws've gone dead, I can't see, it's the Scoffless Lurgy, I've been struck down with the Witherin' Ear Fever. Food! Somebeast save me before I have to resort to coprophagy!"

"Be quiet!" Princess Platinum commanded. "We don't know what sort of beasts are abroad in these woodlands."

"How can you stand this?" Fleetscut cried. "You gave up your food too."

"Well, when the hunger gets to be too much for me, I bend down and nibble a mouthful of grass. That takes the edge off."

Fleetscut decided to try that, but when he chomped on the first clump he gave a muffled yelp and spat it out, glaring at the yellow-and-black banded body humming angrily amid the dust.

"Confounded bloomin' wasp, loungin' about in the middle of a chap's tuck. Oh, it ain't fair! I'm starvin'!"

He was still complaining when they made camp for the night. "Oh dearie, dearie me, 'tis a hard life an' a jolly old sad death, wot. Perishin' out here on the grassy plains without anybeast to mourn over me benighted bones. Hunger, thirst, the Scoffless Lurgy, Witherin' Ear Fever, an' the Dreaded Numb Deadpaw. That's besides Tummyshrink Ague an' Fearsome Red Scutrot. Oho, yes, mates, you name it an' old Fleetscut's suffered it! A walkin' bonebag, courageous to the last, too proud to beg a crust from me messmates."

"That's not how I remember it," said Clover the Clever.

"Fadin' away sad an' slow. Wonder if they'll strike a medal for me, wot? A skinny hare with a brave smile, that'd be about right. Oh, an' in the background, lots of fat, wobbly unicorns, grinnin' like stuffed toads."

As a new day dawned, Fleetscut, unable to sleep because of hunger pangs, leapt up, roaring, "Aha! I think I see his sign, chaps! There 'tis!"

His wild yells wakened the unicorns. Princess Platinum rubbed irately at her eyes as she approached the dancing hare, Clover hurrying to join her.

"I think he's gone crazy from hunger," said Platnium.

Clover said, "Fleetscut, would you like to lie down and rest? I'll pick some roots for you to nibble on, okay?"

But the old hare continued to prance about and shout. "Nibble roots? D'you think I've gone off me bally rocker? Look, there 'tis! Plain as the washin' on me granny's line!"

Platinum stared out into the dawn light. "All I see are trees."

Fleetscut bounced up and down with impatience. "Not the trees, the sign, as it says in the confounded poem. 'March on through two moons and suns, my sign you'll see, I think!' Well, there 'tis, the sign. Your young eyes are better'n mine- you should be able to distinguish it. Huh, I'm nearly blind from the starvation, blinkin' Unvittled Eyeshrink I think they call it. But I can see the sign!"

Platinum interrupted Fleetscut's wild tirade. "Then quit acting like a drunken toad and point it out!"

"Right, pay a tension there, follow the line of me paw, wot. Now, d'ye see those two tall silver firs yonder, eh? Notice anythin' about them, wot? They've had most of the lower boughs chopped away and a thin dead trunk placed high on two notches between 'em!"

Clover nodded. "I see 'em." Princess Platinum could see it, too, now that it had been pointed out to her.

Fleetscut smote his forehead with a paw. "Thank me grandpa's whiskers for that! So, marm, does that crosspiece not look t'ye as if it's been purposely placed there? It looks like the letter H. That stands for Hare."

Platinum commented dryly, "Congratulations. You can spell the name of your own species. Clover, break camp. We'll make for yonder sign straight away."

Fleetscut followed them, muttering, "Good job the chap wasn't a squirrel. Or a chipmunk, how in the name o' fur would he bend trees into a C shape?"

"Chipmunks don't live in England," Clover the Clever said.

They marched into the tree shade by midmorn. Now that Clover was up close to the giant H, she was astounded. "How did anybeast get that up so high?"

Fleetscut was astounded too, but by something else. "I say! There are apple trees in this grove!" He started stuffing down apples as if it were his last day on earth, sour juice foaming out over his whiskers.

"I wonder which way we're supposed to go now," said Clover.

Platinum examined the parchment. "Well, the next line is, discover then a streamwolf's ford, tug thrice upon the royal cord. Not much to go on."

"I've never heard of a streamwolf, but I know a ford means water," said Clover.

Princess Platinum began pacing around, trying to think. Suddenly she stepped right in a patch of mud and let out a shriek. "Oh! My beautiful clean hooves!"

Clover grabbed her excitedly. "You need water to make mud!"

The princess didn't get it. She stared quizzically at her companion.

"Don't you see? If we follow this trail of mud, we'll be sure to come to the ford."

"That's all very well, but I have no intention of arriving at the court of King Bucko Bigbones looking like a bedraggled earth pony, or worse, a rough and tumble Pegasus."

"How will mud on your blinkin' hooves make you look like an earth pony or Pegasus?" Fleetscut asked the unicorn princess. "Everybeast can tell you're a unicorn because of your horn, wot. There aren't any unicorns with wings, are there?"

"It's funny you should bring that up," said Clover, "Because I've heard legends about creatures called alicorns that were a combination of unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasi. They had both horns and wings. It's said that all other ponies felt a natural allegiance to the alicorns, and would do whatever they could to serve them."

"That's beside the point!" Princess Platinum snapped. "I don't want to reach my destination covered in mud."

Clover sighed. She knew what Platinum expected of her. They had done this many times before. "Climb on," she said, bending down so the princess could ride on her back.

"Do watch my gown, dear," Princess Platinum said. "It's worth more than all the books in your library."

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They made it to the ford that evening, but still all was not well. Fleetscut was feeling sick again, doubled up with stomach cramps. "Owowowowowooooow! Your old pal's a goner. Bury me here, please, quick as y'can. Oooooh! Anti-Trampin' Plague, that's what 'tis. Oooooh!"

Clover squeezed the hare's shoulders pityingly. She didn't know which of her two friends was the bigger drama queen. "It couldn't have been something you ate, could it?"

Fleetscut straightened up indignantly, then immediately folded up again, hugging his stomach. "Must have been a blighted worm in one of those apples!"

Clover grinned. "Which one? You ate a whole treeful of them. Hang on, I'll see if I can mix up something to help you feel better."

She built a small fire and boiled a mixture of hound's tongue leaves, milkwort, green alkanet blossoms, and two sulfur tuft mushrooms. The smell this concoction produced was horrendous. Fleetscut shut his eyes and mouth firmly, but not before remarking pointedly, "Madam, I'm not eatin' that mishmash. Are you tryin' to hasten me flippin' demise, wot?"

Clover had to sit on him to get him to take the medicine. Once she'd forced it into his mouth, she sprang to one side. Fleetscut sprang up like a startled fawn, scut twitching, ears erect, eyes popping wide, jaws quivering. He shot off among the trees like a shaft from a bow.

"Foul toads! Pollywoggles! Great barrel-bummed poisoners! Wharrroooogggghhhh! Bluuuuuurgh!"

Moments later he lolloped back, rather unsteadily, with a wan smile pasted on his drooping features.

"Never killed me, did you, smarty hooves, wot!"

A stern voice boomed from the edge of the camp. "Put one hoof near the rabbit an' we'll drop you all where y'stand!"

Two Pegasus ponies appeared out of nowhere. One was blue with streaks of all the colors of the rainbow in her hair, and wore a war helmet. The other Pegasus was yellow with pink hair, and was trying to hide behind the blue one.

Staring fiercely at the unicorns, the blue Pegasus puffed herself out, cheeks, stomach, and chest. "Unicorns, eh! Well, listen, bullies, I wouldn't stand to see a Pegasus treated in that way, tortured an' poisoned, or a rabbit either."

Fleetscut tapped her wing politely. "Er, 'scuse me, old lad, but I'm a hare an' they were-"

Rounding on him, the Pegasus roared, "Who asked you, eh? Don't dare interrupt when Commander Hurricane has the floor, or you'll get yourself chopped up into frogmeat, you will!"

Princess Platinum attempted to reassert command of the situation. "Clover the Clever, throw that brute into the dungeon!"

"What dungeon?" Clover asked. "Look, perhaps if we all calm down…"

"I vote for calm," the yellow Pegasus said timidly.

Commander Hurricane shouted at her, "I'll have you court marshaled for insubordination, Private Pansy! We settle this on the battlefield!"

Fleetscut had had enough, and he yelled louder than any of them, "I'm a hare, d'ye hear, a bally hare! These unicorns are my friends! They weren't harmin' me, just helpin' me through a serious illness, that's all! No need to go choppin' anybeast up round here, chaps, wot! Wot wot!"

Determined to shout louder than Fleetscut, Commander Hurricane hollered at a volume that hurt the hare's ears, "Well, why didn't you say so at first, instead o' causin' all this trouble an' strife, eh?"

"Because you never gave me a chance to!" Fleetscut stated simply.

There was silence for a minute. Then the quiet yellow Pegasus, Private Pansy, asked, "Do you guys want to come back to our camp and have some blackcurrant 'n' plum crumble?"

Princess Platinum was about to refuse the offer, but before she could open her mouth, Fleetscut burst out with, "Oh, I say, super wheeze! I'm absoflippinlutely famished, I ain't had nothing but sour apples today, wot! Lead us to it!"

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"Very good food this, eh wot? Jolly good scoff, wot wot? Absolutely top hole!"

The hare, the two unicorns, and the two pegasi were seated around a fire, digging into sizable bowls of blackcurrant and plum crumble, steaming hot and covered in sweet maple sauce. Even Princess Platinum had to admit that it was first class.

"Don't eat too much," Clover said to Fleetscut. "You might get sick again."

The hare winked at her. "Oh, I'm already sick, but it's worth it!"

The ponies all appeared to know each other. "So what brings you up here, Commander Hurricane?" Clover asked.

Hurricane wiped spilled crumble from her lap with a withered dock leaf, which she then devoured. "I came up this way to enter the contest. Hah, I 'spect that's why you're wanderin' this neck o' country too, eh?"

Fleetscut put aside his bowl. "Contest, what contest? First I've heard of it."

The commander turned to her soldier. "Pansy, gimme that contest thing you found."

Private Pansy produced a paper. Commander Hurricane took it and read it aloud:

"Come mother, father, daughter, son,

My challenge stands to anybeast!

I'll take on all, or just the one,

Whether at the fight or feast!

Aye, try to beat me and defeat me,

Set 'em up, I'll knock 'em down!

Just try to outbrag me, you'll see,

King Bucko Bigbones wears the crown!"

Fleetscut raised his eyebrows. "This Bucko Bigbones certainly has a fine opinion of himself."

"At least this one has a consistent rhyme scheme," said Princess Platinum. "That's the hare you're going up against. Well, good luck. He must have the might to back up his challenge."

Hurricane poked a grimy hoof at Fleetscut. "Hah, so you are goin' to take up the challenge! Don't you think you're a bit long in tooth an' seasons?"

Fleetscut patted the top of his grey head and then his chest. "Marm, there may be winter on the mountain, but there's spring at its heart. I must accept the challenge if I'm to raise an army to take Salamandastron, for we need this Buckowotsit and his followers on our side. So I'll search old Bigchops out an' throw down the bally gauntlet, wot!"

"Me too," said Commander Hurricane. "I'll take a shot at it!"

"But you can't, marm," Fleetscut objected. "You're a blinkin' commander of pegasi. How can y'be a king- or queen, I s'pose- of hares, wot?"

Hurricane shrugged. "Hares or ponies, it's all the same to me. I know how t'be boss an' put my hoof down firm. Hard but fair, that's me! What d'you say we join forces an' seek this King Bucko out together? We haven't got a clue where to find him. What about you?"

Without consulting the unicorns, Fleetscut drew out the poem, which he had taken back from Princess Platinum during the journey to the ford. "Right y'are, commander, we'll go together. Safety in numbers, wot. Listen to these directions. 'Discover then a streamwolf's ford, tug twice upon the royal cord, then my honor guard will bring, loyal subjects to their king!' Does that make any sense to you?"

Hurricane scratched her multicolored mane reflectively. "Yeah, it's poetry! All those funny words put together like a song, but you speak 'em, instead of singin'. That's the answer, it's poetry!" She sat back, looking quite pleased with herself.

Private Pansy said, "I think I might know what the poem is talking about. I was speaking to some shrews earlier today. They said that they call pike streamwolves. A pike is a kind of big fish, I guess."

"A pike is more than just a big fish," said Clover. "It's a dangerous big fish. I read that they have really sharp teeth, and they'll attack anything that moves."

Pansy was scared. "I don't want to be eaten by fish!"

"Steady on there!" said Fleetscut. "We don't have to fight one, we just have to find one. I imagine that when we do, this royal cord will be somewhere nearby."

So they agreed that they would look for a pike in the ford in the morning. And then they all lay down for the sleep of the night.

Morning sun broke cheerfully down upon the camp of Brocktree and his companions. The twittering of birdsong caused Dotti to poke her head out from the folds of the cloak she had wrapped herself in while she slept. Blue smoke rose in a thin column amid the dappled sun shadows cast by trees in full spring leaf. Brocktree, Celestia, Luna, Chancellor Puddinghead, and Smart Cookie were sitting around a breakfast fire. Cookie was turning oatcakes over on a flat stone.

Brocktree's great striped head shook reprovingly. "Dawn has been up two hours, miss. Are you going to lie there all day?"

Yawning and stretching, the haremaid lolloped over to the fire, muttering as she helped herself to hot oatcakes and mint tea sweetened with honey. "It's the confounded beauty sleep, that's what 'tis. My mater was always sayin' to me when I came down late for breakfast, 'Been takin' your beauty sleep again, m'gel.' I say, these oatcakes are spiffin' when they're hot. Well sah, which way do your voices say we go today, wot?"

Brocktree recovered his cloak and bundled it into his haversack. "I think we should follow the course of that brook. Sooner or later it'll bring us to a stream."

"Why are we lookin' for a stream, sah?"

Celestia answered for the Badger Lord. "Streams always run to rivers, rivers run to the sea. That way we find the shoreline and follow it south. Sooner or later we'll come to the mountain on the west shore."

By midmorning they had reached a ford- the same ford which Fleetscut, the unicorns, and the pegasi were searching for a pike, farther downstream.

Chancellor Puddinghead skipped down the bank. "Look, cranberries! There's scads of 'em growin' down here!"

Dainty pink flowers with curling petals stood swaying on wispy thin-leafed stalks; beneath them the small orange-hued berries grew in profusion. They were sweet but sharp to the taste. The friends gathered in the welcome addition to their supplies, sampling the fruit as they picked.

"Mm, nice 'n' tasty," Cookie said. "Ah wager we could make a batch or two o' cranberry tarts with these!"

But then a thing happened that was bad and not good. Dotti leaned over too far… and she fell into the ford!

"Gurgle! Help me chaps, I can't swim!"

But that wasn't the worst part. A big fish was gliding smoothly toward her, its rows of needle like teeth exposed as its jaws opened in anticipation, the dorsal fin near its tail sticking out of the water, dragging weeds along. It was a pike!

Celestia yelled out in dismay. "Look at the size of that brute. He'll crunch the little haremaid in one bite!"

Luna flew out over the water, trying to distract the pike. She managed to give the fish a kick with her hoof, but it leaped up and sunk its teeth into her wing! The pike began dragging her downward. Celestia rushed to defend her sister, using her horn to shoot a blast of magic at the pike and make it let go.

Meanwhile, Brocktree attempted to haul Dotti out of the water, holding the hilt of his sword out to her. But he overbalanced, and then he fell in! Fortunately, he was tall enough that he could stand up in the water, but the current was strong, and he had difficulty staying on his feet. Dotti clung to the badger's back as he swung his sword wildly, to fend off the pike.

Now it was total chaos. The pike twisted and writhed in the water, now turning toward Celestia and Luna, now back to Dotti and Brocktree, snapping and splashing all over the place. Chancellor Puddinghead was running around on the bank panicking. Smart Cookie had taken out a lariat and was looking for an opening to lasso the pike, but her friends were in the way.

Out of nowhere, a rainbow-colored streak shot out of the sky and hit the pike. It was Commander Hurricane! She knocked the pike backward, but then the pike leapt out of the water and made a snap at the Pegasus leader, barely missing her.

"Give 'em blood an' vinegar! Eulalia!"

Fleetscut, Princess Platinum, and Clover raced onto the scene. The unicorns started shooting magic blasts at the pike, and Fleetscut tried to throw stones and things at it.

"Take that, you ruffian!" Princess Platinum shouted.

This made the pike so angry that it actually flopped up onto the bank. It was thrashing around and snapping at any creature within reach. The ponies and Fleetscut fell back, out of the range of those sharp teeth.

While the fish was distracted, Brocktree pulled himself and Dotti out of the water, and Celestia hauled Luna to safety. The Badger Lord was readying his sword to deal the pike its final death strike, when a voice shouted, "Wait!"

It was Private Pansy. The yellow Pegasus flew over to the flopping pike, saying, "Shhh… it's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby."

"Little?" Commander Hurricane objected.

"Now this might hurt for just a second," Pansy said to the pike. She bent down over it and pulled a thorn out of its tail. This calmed the fish down instantly, and it rolled back into the ford and swam away.

"How did you know about the thorn?" Clover asked Pansy.

"I didn't," Pansy replied. "Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness."

Then Commander Hurricane noticed something she hadn't before. "Those two ponies that were in the river… I thought they were pegasi, but they're alicorns!"

"My word!" Princess Platinum exclaimed. "So they do exist!"

"Glad to meet you, friends," said Celestia.

Introductions were hastily made. Celestia and Luna filled the newcomers in on their quest to regain the Elements. Then Fleetscut told about how his party was traveling to the court of King Bucko Bigbones.

That day Lord Brocktree, the alicorn sisters, and the tribe leaders Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Puddinghead made a pact. Between them they would gather a great army and take Salamandastron; free it from the claws of Ungatt Trunn.

"The lands our creatures live on should not be tainted by vermin hordes," Celestia said. "No matter what our differences, we are all ponies. We need you all. Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi."

"And hares," Brocktree chimed in. "We will go with you to the realm of this self-proclaimed hare king. He must be challenged and defeated. Then he and his followers must be persuaded to join us. They will all be fine fighting hares."

Smart Cookie stared up at the badger's massive form. "Well, if'n anybeast kin beat the king, that'll be yew!"

Brocktree was looking straight at Dotti as he replied, "No, Smart Cookie, 'tis only fair that a hare challenges a hare. Now tell me, Fleetscut, what is the next clue to the king's whereabouts? Is there anything special we must search for?"

The old hare repeated the lines he had committed to memory.

"Discover then a streamwolf's ford,

Tug thrice upon the royal cord,

Then my honor guard will bring,

Loyal subjects to their king!"

"Well, we're at the streamwolf's ford," said Brocktree. "We just have to find the royal cord. But let's have lunch first."

"I second that!" Dotti and Fleetscut both said at the same time. Then they started laughing like lunatics.

The noise irked Luna. She decided she needed a break for a while. She went off down the bank by herself. Soon she came to a hornbeam tree, on the leeside of which hung a red tasseled rope, its length going up, off amid the foliage. Could this be the royal cord?

Luna hurried back to the group. "I think I've found what we're looking for!" she said. Everybeast looked up in surprise. They had not noticed that she had gone.

"Jolly decent of you, old beast," Fleetscut called back. "Y'mean you found the royal whatchamacallit? Where was it?"

"It's nothing too impressive, just a big thick red cord hanging from a great hornbeam tree," Luna said.

Brocktree reached out and shook her hoof. "Well done. Lead us to it!"

Luna led them to the tree. "That's the one, though I haven't tugged on the rope yet."

Brocktree performed an exaggerated bow to Dotti. "Would ye pray do the honors, milady?"

The haremaid curtsied prettily and fluttered her eyelids. "Why, thankee, m'lud. Methinks I'll give it a jolly old tug once or thrice, providin' the blinkin' tree don't fall on me bonce, wot wot!"

Dotti took firm hold of the cord and gave it three hefty tugs. The thin boughs in the hornbeam crown shook, dislodging a colony of jackdaws. Flapping angrily into the air, they set a din of harsh cries ringing into the quiet woodlands.

Commander Hurricane watched the birds settle back onto the tree. "Ha ha ha! You'd think he could afford proper bells if he's supposed t'be a king like he says he is. What do we do now? Shall I give the rope a few more tugs?"

"No, I think we should sit and wait," said Brocktree.

It was well over an hour before Smart Cookie leaned close to Brocktree and whispered, "Ah hear somebeast a-comin' this way, sir!"

The Badger Lord sat causally, eyes half closed. "I see them too, friend. Everybeast sit still now, be calm."

The air hissed, and a light javelin buried its tip in the ground, not far from Celestia's hoof. Twoscore rough-looking mountain hares, some still showing white fur patches from last winter, marched up armed to the teeth.

Their leader's voice, like his companions', had a strong burr of the far northern mountains about it. "Arrah weel now, laddys, whit've we here?"

"Why don't you ask me that, instead of the laddys?" Brocktree replied, his eyes still half closed. "They've only just arrived with you."

The leader pulled his javelin point from the soil. His voice had an insolent tone to it. "Hearken t'me, stripedawg, ye're en noo t'be saucy wi' me. Mah hares are upright an' armed ready, ye an' these beauties o' yourn are settin' doon unprepared, d'ye ken?"

Brocktree rose to his full height, sword in paw. "Oh, I ken all right, hare. I ken if you give impatience to Lord Brocktree of Brockhall you'll find your ears dangling from yonder alarm rope. So keep a civil tongue in your head!"

The hare was visibly cowed, and his tone became more reasonable. "Mah apologies, lord, 'cept have t'be careful o' strangers aboot these parts. Whit was it ye were wantin'?"

"Take us to the one who calls himself king," Princess Platinum commanded.

"Look fit enough, don't they, wot?" Fleetscut remarked as they followed the hares on a torturous path through the woodland. "Touch o' trainin' an' discipline should bring those laddys up to the mark!"

Brocktree was walking beside Dotti as the Scottish hare led the group to the court of Bucko Bigbones. He gave her murmured instructions. "Don't speak until I tell you- when we get to where we're going, miss. Don't get flustered or indignant, just act calm and look as if you're capable of taking care of yourself."

The haremaid felt slightly nervous, and started babbling. "Yessah, take care o' meself, act calm, you can bet your bally stripes I will, most carefullest calmest blinkin' hare ever twiddled an ear, sah, that's me, wot! An' as for gettin' flustered or indignant, by the left, sah, there's not a beast alive can muster flea, er, fluster me, an' I can be rather undignant when called upon. Why, I recall when Grandpa got stuck in the chimney-"

Brocktree's paw cuffed her ear lightly. "Stop babbling, miss. Listen!"

A profusion of noises from afar could be heard on the still woodland air. Loud cheering, drumbeats, singing, shouting, and many other unidentified discordant sounds. The hare leader, taking care to keep clear of Brocktree, remarked with jaunty cynicism, "Och, brace yerselves, mah babes, yer aboot tae enter the court o' King Bucko Bigbones, the roarin' beast hisself!"

Dotti had never seen anything in her life like the court of King Bucko, nor had any of her traveling companions. It was situated in a broad, beautiful, woodland glade, backed by a steep rocky hill, with a stream bordering one side, fringed with crack willow, guilder rose, and osier. But any resemblance to a peaceful sylvan setting ended there. It was packed to bursting with teeming life. Lord Brocktree's party wandered about, relatively unnoticed. There were all types of ponies there, as well as woodland creatures like mice and voles, but hares formed the main presence. Hares, big, strong, young and bold. Fleetscut nodded at them.

"Well, stap me ears, we've got a right bunch o' corkers here," he said. "There's a lot o' mountain hares- one can tell by the remains of their white winter patches, wot. As for the rest, there's a few gypsies, but a chap can recognize the offspring of Salamandastron hares. D'y'know, I can pick out the ears an' faces of most- look just like their mothers an' fathers they do. Dearie me, it makes me feel jolly old, I can tell ye. Some o' these great lumps o' fur 'n' bone, I bounced 'em on me knee when they were tiny leverets!"

Puddinghead giggled at the thought it conjured up. "Hee-hee, you'd break your knee if you tried bouncin' any of those big boys now!"

"I don't like this noisy, dirty place," Princess Platinum whined. "It's an affront to the eyes and ears."

Steps made from logs led up to the fork of an old cheery laurel, padded and draped with hanging velvet to form the royal throne.

"Presentin' his royal Highness, King Bucko Bigbones!" the Scottish hare called.

Everybeast looked around. "I don't see him," said Celestia. "Where is he?"

The hare was irritated. "Ah'm King Bucko Bigbones. D'ye no bow yer heids or bend a knee tae a king?"

Brocktree realized that the creature the hare had announced so grandly was himself. "We bow to no creature, even self-appointed kings," he said. "Do you not find it common courtesy to rise in the presence of a Badger Lord, instead of sitting draped up there like a drunken beast?"

King Bucko laughed. "Jings, but yer a big 'un, an' saucy too. By the rocks! That's a braw battle blade ye bear. Ah'll trade ye for et, anythin' ye like!"

Brocktree raised a paw to touch the double hilted weapon. "My sword wouldn't do you any good, and it's not for sale or trade. You and another like you couldn't lift it."

King Bucko bounded down the steps, paws outstretched. He gripped the badger's paw and applied pressure. "Och, I like ye well, mah friend. D'ye mean tae challenge me?"

Brocktree stood smiling easily, allowing Bucko to squeeze his paw to the maximum. Then the Badger Lord squeezed back. White faced and trembling, the hare was thrown to his knees. He managed a pained smile. "Jings, ah hope ye don't challenge me. Would ye not let mah paw free afore ye flatten et completely?"

The badger released his paw. Bucko stood up, massaging it and smiling ruefully.

"Don't worry, I won't be challenging you," Brocktree assured him. "But one of my party will. I'll let you know who when the time's right."

Bucko winked. "Weel, ah've got another challenge tae answer shortly. Gang ye along an' watch- twill be a bit o' sport tae entertain ye."

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A log circled ring had been cleared further down the streambank. Dotti stood between Celestia and Luna to view the combat. Creatures packed the circle's edge, fifty deep, while others climbed trees or took to the rocks. An enormous hedgehog stood to one side of the ring, a gang of his followers stroking his spikes and massaging his hefty gnarled paws. He kept shrugging his shoulders and sniffing a lot. King Bucko entered the ring to deafening applause. Throwing off his cloak, he joined both paws over his head and shook them at his followers in salute.

There was a line scratched at the ring's center. Bucko steeped up to it, flexing both knees and rolling his head about to limber up. The big hedgehog stepped up, threw a few punches in midair and snuffled. A zebra stepped into the ring and announced in rhyme,

"Good creatures all, attend what I say.

A challenge has been given your king this day,

By some hedgehog who nobeast likes,

With the name of Picklepaw Ironspikes.

Let me remind you of the rules.

Neither contestant can use weapons or tools.

And when one of them falls down,

The one left standing picks up the crown."

Silence continued as Bucko gave his crown to the zebra, who marched ten paces over the ground and held it high. She dropped the crown, and as it hit the ground the fight started. Dotti could not hear herself think for the noise.

"Give him the old one two, Your Majesty!"

"I'll give ten candied chestnuts to one on 'Is Majesty!"

"Watch out for his jolly old left, sire!"

The hedgehog, Picklepaw Ironspikes, was throwing massive barnstorming sweeps with his paws. As yet the hare had not offered a single blow. He stood firm, merely bobbing and bending backward, avoiding each haymaker as it whooshed by overhead or either side of him. Bucko was smiling, Ironspikes almost purple with anger and exertion. Dotti could not help whispering, "What's King Bucko doing? Why doesn't he try to hit the hog?"

Smart Cookie kept both eyes on the fighters, assessing them. "The king's a great scrapper, he's wearin' the hedgepig down. Looky now, miz Dotti, he's got ole Ironspikes!"

The haremaid could not see how Bucko had the hedgehog beaten. Suddenly Ironspikes dropped one of his paws and straightened up, just for a split second, but that was enough. Bucko crouched and swung a massive sideways left as he came up. Bump! It connected with Ironspikes's jaw, his eyes rolled and he fell like a stone, spark out!

Dotti had to shout to make herself heard over the cheering. "Oh corks, what a fighter, what a punch! I'll bet nobeast could beat King Bucko, wot?"

King Bucko picked up the crown and replaced it on his head. He leapt over the logs, right where Dotti was standing, and winked roguishly at the haremaid.

"Och, 'twas a piece o' cake, lassie. Yon hog was naught but a great fat brawler. A hey, you're a pretty wee thing, ain't ye!"

Dotti did not want to appear over impressed by Bucko, so she stiffened both ears and looked distant. "Actually, pretty's the wrong word, sah. I'm a fatal beauty, really. Runs in the family, y'know."

Bucko smiled as he chucked her under the chin. "Och, away with ye, missie, ah've seen fatal beauties an' yer no one o' those. Still, like ah say, yer a pretty wee thing."

He swept by her and was carried off on the shoulders of his jubilant supporters. Luna noticed Dotti's quivering lip and angry features, and put a hoof about her shoulders. "What's wrong with your face, friend?"

The haremaid shrugged off Luna's hoof. "Nothing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with my face. But I'll jolly well tell you something, Luna. I don't like that can Bucko King, or whatever he calls himself. I'd like to take the blighter down a peg or three, wot!"

Luna stared at her in surprise. "A hare maiden like you… d'you think you could beat him?"

The noise was audible as her teeth ground together. "I don't think, I know I can beat the blusterin' bounder!"

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King Bucko was in high good humor that night. He sat on his treefork throne, swilling dandelion beer and laughing uproariously with his comrades as he relieved the fight with Ironspikes.

"Och, the fat auld fraud wiz swingin' both paws like a windmill an' puffin' like a northeast gale, d'ye ken. So ah just ducked an' came up wi' mah guid auld left cross. Whacko! Did ye see the big braw pincushion topple, ha-ha-ha!"

"Aye, y'pick the easy marks, don't you, Bucko?"

The laughter ceased. All eyes turned on Dotti, who was standing, paws akimbo, on the bottom log step. "I'm here to take up your challenge!"

The king waved his scepter dismissively at her. "Ach, awa' wi' ye, lassie, ye should be at home, helpin' yore mama tae do the washin'," he said with sexism. "Learn tae cook and stay clear of real warriors, before ye become fatally injured, with no chance of ever becoming a fatal beauty." Sycophant hares around the throne guffawed loudly.

Dotti bounded up the steps and shook out the barkscroll. She thrust it under the king's nose. "It says here that you'll fight mother, father, daughter, or son. That's what it says. Right?"

The king's former good humor was fast deserting him. "Ach! Ah'm nae goin' tae fight wi' no wee haremaid. Whit d'ye think I am, a bully?"

Dotti marched off down the steps, her nose in the air. "Since you ask, sah, I'll tell you what I think you are. You're no king, just a liar an' a coward!"

In the horrified silence that followed, King Bucko came bounding down the steps after her, paws clenched tight. "Yerrah! Ye whey faced whelp, we'll settle this right here an' noo. Ah'll no have a lassie cheekin' me!"

He scratched a line in the ground with his scepter and tossed it aside. Placing his footpaw on the line, he snarled, "Get yer fuitpaw on this mark here an' spit like this!" He put up his paws in fighting stance and spat over the other side of the line.

Dotti gave him a frozen glare. "Didn't your mater ever tell you 'tis rank bad manners to spit? Disgusting habit, sah, but quite in keeping with your form, wot."

Lord Brocktree appeared, pointing his sword at Bucko. "No quick paw-the-mark scraps here, Bigbones. Let's do it properly at the designated time. Now, do you accept this hare's challenge, answer yes or no?"

The mountain hare's expression was murderous as he grated out his reply. "Aye, stripedawg, ah accept the challenge. Ye'll be hearin' from mah seconds afore midnight!"

Brocktree tipped a paw to his stripes courteously. "Thank you, I'll look forward to it. I bid you good night."

Commander Hurricane was upset when she learned what had happened. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I was the one who should have challenged him, not you! He'll eat you alive!"

"Well, like old Brockers said, a hare should challenge a hare," Dotti replied. "Besides, you ain't the one he bloomin' well insulted. The honor of the Duckfontein Dillworthys was at stake- I had to challenge the rotter. Not a fatal beauty, eh? I'll show him!"

Brocktree patted her back gently. "Calm down now, miss. Temper's the sign of a loser- it affects the reason too much. We've got to start your education, and there's not a lot of time to do it in. That's always provided you want to win, eh?"

Dotti managed a smile. "Oh, I want to win all right, sah!"

Lord Stonepaw and his officers had escaped from the mountain by means of a secret tunnel. They were running down the beach when some of Ungatt Trunn's soldiers saw them.

"Run for the hills! Go!" Lord Stonepaw shouted.

"But what about you, sah?" Stiffener Meddick asked.

The Badger Lord's voice was like thunder. "Never mind about me. I've given an order, and I expect it to be obeyed!" He turned his back on Stiffener and charged at the Blue Hordes, bellowing the war cry of Salamandastron.

"Eulalia!"

Lord Stonepaw killed Captain Roag, a weasel commander in the Blue Hordes. The badger struck her with his sword upon the arm, and lopped her strong paw from off it. The bloody paw fell to the ground, and the shades of death, with fate that no beast can withstand, came over the weasel's eyes.

Stonepaw saw another vermin named Swinch coming at him. The badger aimed a spear, and hit him as he came striding on. His cuirass of bronze did not protect him, and the spear stuck in his belly, so that he fell heavily to the ground. With this Stonepaw began dragging him by the foot through the thick of the fight, but another Blue Hordebeast came up to protect the body. He was longing to strike down Lord Stonepaw, but could not do so for Stonepaw thrashed him with his spear in the throat under the chin, and the bronze point went clean through it. He fell as an oak, or poplar, or pine, which shipwrights have felled for ship's timber upon the mountains with whetted axes- even thus did he lay full length on the shore, gritting his teeth and clutching at the bloodstained body of the one he was trying to defend.

"To all those that want to fight me, beware," Lord Stonepaw said. "Soon a greater Badger Lord is coming and he will kill your evil leader Ungatt Trunn."

And Stonepaw died a martyr's death. Many satanic vermin soldiers were upon him. Yet he had accomplished what he intended. He had enabled his hares to escape to safety.

Dotti sat on the streambank, breakfasting on fresh fruit salad with her friends. The haremaid was now under instruction as a contender for King Bucko Bigbones's crown.

Celestia read out the rules which had been delivered by the king's seconds. "Two days from now, the three events will commence: the Bragging, the Feasting, and the Fighting. The Bragging will take place on the eve of day one. Whichever beast wins the Brag will be the creature voted by common consent of the crowd to have outbragged the other. Dawn of day two the Feasting will commence; the victor will be the one left sitting, still eating, at sunset, or until one creature yields to the other. Noon of day three is the Fighting. No weapons or any arms whatsoever are to be taken into the ring. All supporters and seconds must have vacated the ring by the time the crown is dropped. The king has the right to decide whether the contest be from scratch, or moving freely. The moment one beast cannot rise and continue fighting, the other will be declared the winner. Note: in the event of Bragging or Feasting being won, lost, or declared a tie, the winner of the Fighting will be declared outright king. These are the approved rules!"

Fleetscut laughed scathingly. "Bucko's rules made by himself, eh? He's only got to win the jolly old Fighting an' he's home 'n' dry, wot?"

"But he's no pushover," said Luna. "We saw that in the fight yesterday. He's shown himself to be a beast that will win at any cost."

"You gotta smack his tail with a big stick!" Chancellor Puddinghead shouted excitedly.

"I can't do that, the flippin' rules just said I'm not allowed to bring any weapons into the ring, wot."

Brocktree scratched his stripes thoughtfully. "Maybe Puddinghead has just provided us with the answer!"

"That's the answer? Smack the king's tail with sticks?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. We smack his pride. Can you see what I'm getting at?"

Celestia caught on to the idea immediately. "Aye, that's how Dotti'll win, by keeping cool and calm. Turn the jokes on Bucko, get the supporters on her side."

Princess Platinum began warming up to the plan. "Play the good natured, well brought up haremaid. Use your wit against the braggart. Make him fall into his own traps!"

"Use his own weight against him. Duck an' weave!" Clover the Clever suggested.

"Aye, show him up to his supporters as a fraud an' a cad, wot!" Fleetscut chimed in. "Keep y'nose in the air an' dismiss Bucko as a ruffian!"

Commander Hurricane put an arm about Dotti's shoulder. "Don't fret, miss, I'll show you one or two boxin' tricks, an' when he's least expectin' it, you can use 'em!"

"Ah kin teach ya some stuff too," Smart Cookie said. "Ah'm a champeen earth pony wrassler!"

Dotti grinned. "Right! We'll outthink him at every turn!"

Over the next two days Dotti wrestled with Cookie, was instructed in the art of boxing by Hurricane, and listened to the wisdom of her elders. It was all very helpful and instructive, except for one thing. Part of her training included a strict diet: no food and precious little water. For a creature of her young appetite it was nothing less than sheer brutal torture. When meals were served she was forced to sit out of the sight of food, guarded by Brocktree. Nursing a beaker filled with water with a light sprinkle of crushed oats added to it, she glared at her badger friend.

"Rotten an' stingy, that's what you lot are, miserable grubswipers. When I'm a kingess- or d'you think queen sounds better?- I'll banish the whole bally gang. Everybeast who refused a fatal young royal beauty a morsel, away with 'em!"

Brocktree swiped her ears playfully. "Tis only for your own good, young 'un. You'll thank us for this one day."

"Oh, an' pardon me, what day'll that be, sah, wot?"

Glancing over her shoulder, Brocktree whispered, "Hush now, miss, here comes Bucko."

A light skiff with two mountain hares plying it drew alongside. Bucko was seated beneath a canopy with a jug of pale cider and a trayful of pasties and tarts. He grinned roguishly at his challenger.

"Weel now, 'tis a bonny summer noontide, lassie. Would ye no care for a tart or pastie… mebbe a beaker o' this guid pale cider? Join me, pretty one?"

Dotti knew she couldn't let Bucko see how put out she was. She blinked serenely. "Thank you kindly, but I'd rather not. I've just finished quite a large luncheon."

Bucko bit into a tart, and blackcurrant juice ran down his chin. "mmm, naught like a fresh blackcurrant tartie, mah pretty!" he guffawed.

Dotti took a dainty sip of her clouded oatmeal water. "Naught like a fresh mountain hare, I always say. Kindly remove yourself downstream, sah, your table manners offend me. There may be a few mad toads down there who'd be glad of your company. Toads aren't too choosy, y'know."

Bucko bolted the rest of the tart and licked his paws. "Och, an' ye'd know aboot toads' manners, I ken?"

Dotti gave him her sweetest smile. "Indeed I do. Mother always held them up to me as a bad example. Pity your mother hadn't the sense to show you."

Bucko scowled. He tried to stand up, but the skiff swayed. "Ah'll thank ye tae leave mah mither oot o' this. Another word aboot her an' I'll teach ye a braw sharp lesson!"

The haremaid stared down her nose at the irate king. "Your accent's slipping, y'know, old chap. If you're going to say 'Ah' for 'I', you should use 'Ah' all the time, not just sometimes."

Bucko got even angrier, and lost his Scottish accent even more. "I'm only saying it the way Brian Jacques wrote it in the book! You can't question the way Brian Jacques wrote it, or the whole story will fall apart! And you look like the back of a shirt!" Then he lost his balance and fell into the stream. Dotti turned her nose up in the air and marched away with Brocktree as the other two hares tried to fish him out.

"Well done, miss," Brocktree said. "If you can upset him like that during the actual challenges, we'll have nothing to worry about."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was the evening of the first day. Crowds gathered at the log-bounded arena amid a festive air. There was music, singing, the sound of picnic hampers being shared and banter from supporters on both sides. Candied fruit and treasured possessions- knives, belts, tail and paw rings or precious materials, some studded with glinting stones- were changing paws as betting opened. As usual, Bucko was the firm favorite. Nobeast had ever seen him lose, so they weren't about to wager on an outsider.

Amid a roll of drums and a blast from a battered bugle, King Bucko Bigbones entered the ring, with an honor guard of his cronies. He wore his broad belt, his cloak, two silver paw rings, and the laurel-twined crown perched on his brow at a jaunty angle. Whirling the cloak dramatically, he shed it and threw the garment to his minions. Then he paraded around the perimeter, acknowledging the cheers by leaping high, with one clenched paw held up.

Dotti wore a demure cloak of light blue, with the slightest hint of a frill at its neck. She carried her bag and stood patiently while Princess Platinum made final adjustments to her flowered straw bonnet, specially loaned to her by Platinum for the occasion.

The zebra referee puffed herself up officiously and roared in her stentorian voice:

"Gentlebeasts all, pay heed to what I say!

The Bragging challenge will take place today.

This lovely contestant's name

Is Dorothea Duckworthy Dillfontein!"

Dotti tapped the zebra. "Correction, my good marm, the name's Duckfontein Dillworthy. Would you kindly re-announce me, please?"

This brought a few encouraging laughs and some shouts.

"That's the stuff, miss. You tell the ole windbag!"

"A gel that jolly well stands up for herself, wot. Good show!"

The zebra glared.

"I have no time.

And that doesn't rhyme.

Now let the Braggin' begin.

May the best creature win!"

Silence fell on the crowd. Dotti stood quite still in the center of the ring and said nothing. Bucko paced about the edges, as if stalking her. Suddenly he did a splendid cartwheel and a breathtaking leap. He landed very close to Dotti, who did not flinch, and began his brag.

"Yerrahoo! Ah'm the mighty monarch frae the mountains! Mah name's King Bucko Bigbones. Whit d'ye think o' that, mah bonnie wee lassie? Isn't this a consistent accent?"

Dotti ignored him and waved cheerily to her friends. "Isn't he clever? He knows his own name. It must have taken him simply ages to learn it, wot?"

There was a ripple of laughter from the crowd.

Bucko stamped until dust rose, and leapt clear over Dotti's head. Still she did not move from her place. Bucko thrust out his barrel chest and thumped it.

"Ah'm nae feart o' anybeast. Ah wiz born on a moonless night 'midst thunder 'n' lightnin'!"

Amid the hush that followed, Dotti carefully wiped a speck of dust from her paw with a lace-edged kerchief. "Tut, tut, what dreadful weather you had. Did you get wet?"

This time the laughter increased. Raucous guffaws could be heard, some with a distinct mountain hare tone to them. Bucko had to wait for the merriment to subside, his jaw and his paws clenched tight.

He thrust his face forward until he was eye to eye with Dotti, and his big voice boomed forth. "Yerrahoo, wee beastie, have ye ever looked death straight in the eye, eh? Then look at him whit stands afore ye!"

The crowd waited with baited breath. Dotti peered even closer at her opponent, until her nose touched his. "Hmm, you look a little peaky, sah. All that shouting can't be doing you much good- all that jumping about, too. Have you got a pain in your tummy, is that it?"

Roars and hoots of laughter greeted this remark. Creatures at the ringside were wiping tears from their eyes.

"Yahahaha! Pain in the tummy, that's a good 'un!"

King Bucko was shaking all over. Glaring murderously at Dotti he gripped both paws, raising them over her head as if he were going to bring them down and crush her. She nodded in prim approval of his action. "Bit of exercise, sah, good! My mother always says exercise is the best cure for tummy ache. Come on now, hup! Down! Hup! Breathe through your nose, head well back, sah!"

She moved just as Bucko's paws came crashing down, one of them catching her shoulder, knocking her slightly off balance. The crowd booed.

"Foul! Foul play, sir!"

"He struck the little haremaid!"

Several hares, Commander Hurricane, Celestia, and the zebra referee leapt the logs and rushed forward. The hares and Hurricane restrained Bucko, and Celestia placed a hoof about Dotti, while the zebra placed herself between the two contestants and held up a copy of the rules.

"One moment, Sire, just one moment!

You're not allowed to strike your opponent.

It says so here in your own writing.

This is the Bragging, not the Fighting.

You have broken your own rules.

You get nothing, sir, you lose!"

Bucko grabbed his cloak and pushed through the crowd, knocking creatures this way and that in his haste to flee the scene of his disgrace.

Jubilation reigned. Dotti was swept shoulder high and carried around the ring several times. Stamping, whistling and shouting, the crowd cheered her to the echo.

Fleetscut was absolutely overjoyed. "I say, good show, absolutely top-hole performance from the young 'un, wot wot!"

Luna said, "Dotti may have won the first challenge, but she can't afford to get overconfident. The king is still dangerous."

Dawn arrived bright and sunny the next day. Clover the Clever shielded her eyes as she glanced skyward. "Phew! It feels more like midsummer's day than the first day of the season."

"Aye," Fleetscut said. "It's goin' t'be what us hares call a bloomin' scorcher, wot!" He turned to Dotti. "How d'ye feel today, young miss? Chipper, wot?"

The haremaid's reply was summed up in two fervent words. "Flippin' famished!"

"Well, you won't be flippin' famished anymore after today!" Chancellor Puddinghead cried excitedly.

"But remember, pace yourself," Princess Platinum put in. "Don't get excited an' eat too fast. You've got to remain cool and calm."

The crowd had already gathered around the arena when Dotti's party arrived.

"Oh no, are we late?" Pansy fretted. "I thought it was supposed to start right at dawn."

"Don't worry," said Brocktree. "They can't start without Dotti."

A table with two chairs was laid in the center of the ring, bare save for two plates, two goblets, and cutlery. Dotti took the seat nearest to her. Bucko was already sitting down in the other chair, but he had his chair turned around with his back to the table so he didn't see Dotti. "Weel, it looks like the lassie hasnae shoon up," he said. "Ah guess that means ah win by default…"

"Uh, she's right there," said a hare standing next to him.

Bucko looked over his shoulder and saw Dotti waving prettily at him. "Good morrow to you, sah. Thanks awfully for getting here early and being ready, wot."

Bucko smiled sarcastically. "Och weel, better late than never, eh? All right, everybeast, clear the ring?"

The zebra referee entered the ring, followed by a line of servers pulling trolleys laden with pies, puddings, breads, salads, flans, and pasties. Her considerable voice had lost none of its volume.

"Hearken to me, goodbeasts, while I say,

The Feasting Challenge will take place today.

Contestants can eat whatever they want,

But the one thing they can't do is, they can't

Waste food by throwing it away.

And the one who eats most by the end of the day

Will win.

Begin!"

The servers began loading food onto the table. Bucko piled salad, cheese, and an onion and leek turnover onto his plate and dug in eagerly. Dotti filled her plate with salad, but forced herself to eat at a normal rate, though the ten chews per mouthful routine that her mother had enforced at home was too much for her.

By midmorning she was still maintaining her sedate pace, though she had eaten a latticed pear tart, some gooseberry crumble with meadowcream topping, two plates of vegetable salad and a plate of fruit salad. Which was only about a quarter of what King Bucko Bigbones had downed. His supporters were yelling encouragement, egging him on.

"Ye show her how 'tis done, sire!"

"Aye, scoff her under the table, yer majesty!"

Bucko downed a goblet of plum and beetroot wine. "Ah'm verra partial to plum 'n' beetroot wine. Here, server, brang me another goblet!"

Luna murmured to the other ponies, "Keep silent now. Don't encourage her to eat fast- leave that to yonder bigboned fool."

Commander Hurricane could not help shaking her head in admiration. "By the feathers, that longear king's really putting it away. He's a glutlet!"

"You mean he's a blutton, isn't that right, Cookie?"

Smart Cookie nodded, knowing it was useless to argue. "That's right, Chancellor. Look, Bucko's callin' the referee over!"

The officious zebra listened as the king registered his complaint. "Ah'm fair sweatin', ye ken- yonder sun's beatin' doon on mah heid like a furnace. Can ye no brang me a sunshade?"

The zebra replied,

"Nothing in the rules, I'm afraid,

Says that you can have a sunshade."

"Weel now, is there anythin' in the rules whit states that ah cannot have a sunshade?" Bucko demanded as he shoved fruitcake into his mouth.

The zebra considered this.

"Hmm, er, yes, well, tell you what I'll do.

If she wants a sunshade, you can have one too."

Dotti nibbled a woodland trifle thoughtfully. "No thanks, I don't need one, 'tis far too nice a day. Actually, I quite enjoy the early summer sun, don't you, marm?"

"Yes, I do," the zebra said. She turned to Bucko. "No sunshade for you."

Bucko sprayed cakecrumbs as he glowered at his opponent. "Ah'll still beat ye, miss prissypaws!" He downed another two goblets of wine, cold from the keg, thinking it would calm him down.

It was midday. The sun was beating down on both contestants. Dotti was full. She did not want to look at, smell, or taste any food that day, but she carried on, keeping up a good front, as she had been instructed by her friends. She marveled that Bucko, hot and perspiring as he was, carried on bolting down huge quantities of food. He was slopping the wine about a bit, but still going at it. Bucko, like all March hares, was unpredictable. He was wolfing his way through a strawberry shortcake when he paused and winked at Dotti.

"Ye cannae defeat me by consuming yer vittles slow. Ho, ho, ho, ah'm watchin' ye, pretty one. Weel now, two can play at that wee game, missie, ah can eat as slow as ye. Aye, an' still be settin' here taenight at sunset!"

Dotti put aside her mint tea and chose a small almond tart. For the first time, Bucko noticed that she appeared slightly disturbed. She fussed about wiping her spoon. "Then do so, sah- 'tis no concern of mine at what rate you fill your flippin' face!"

Bucko grinned triumphantly and began chewing his food slowly. He drained his goblet leisurely and picked up a honeyed scone. Slowly he chewed it, ever so slowly, washing it down with lingering draughts of wine.

Shortly before midafternoon, most of the onlookers moved into the willow shades on the streambank. Dotti plodded on with a single slice of dry bread, hating the very thought of food, her appetite completely sated.

Then the eyelids of King Bucko Bigbones started to droop. His head started to nod forward onto his chest, and a morsel of wild cherry turnover slipped from his half-open mouth. His goblet toppled gently over onto the tabletop. He did not seem to notice. The king's eyelids drooped lower… lower… then closed softly, his ears flopped forward and he started to snore.

Dotti continued eating as silently as she could, nibbling on the same piece of bread. After what seemed like an age, she saw Lord Brocktree stamp heavily across to the referee. The zebra had fallen asleep too. Abruptly she started awake to find Brocktree standing over her. She tried to regain her composure, declaiming,

"You shouldn't be here in the ring.

The only ones allowed are the challenger and king."

Brocktree nodded in silent agreement. "I know, marm, and I apologize, but from this angle you can hardly see that one of your contestants has stopped eating."

"What? What? What? Stopped eating, ye say?

Let me take a look right away!"

The zebra trotted anxiously across to the table. Dotti stopped eating her bread to point at Bucko.

"I'm terribly sorry, but this chap's been like that for quite a while now. Would you wake him, please?"

But Bucko could not be wakened. His head fell forward onto an apple pie and he lay there snoring lustily. The zebra was extremely upset. She climbed onto the table, taking care not to tread on any food, and shouted,

"Miss Dotti has won!

The Feasting is done!"

She went on to rhyme about how the king had forfeited the day by not being able to continue. King Bucko slept on, oblivious of what was going on around him. A crowd of mountain hares lifted him onto a food trolley and bore him off, still snoring, with his cheek resting in an apple pie. Defeated!

Fleetscut and Puddinghead and Hurricane leaped into the ring and set about demolishing the remainder of the feast. Dotti tried not to watch them, her eyes glazing over in disgust. "Yuurgh! How can you dreadful savages even think of food! I never want t'see another flippin' pie, bloomin' pudding, or blinkin' salad again in my young an' fatally beautiful life, d'ye hear? Get all vittles out o' my sight!"

"That's what we're trying to do," said Commander Hurricane with her mouth full of trifle. "Pass the scones an' honey, will you Fleet?"

"Pass 'em yourself- you young rips are too fast for me. A bit of respect for age, please, wot!"

Lord Brocktree's eyes twinkled as he shook Dotti's paw. "Two down, one to go, miss. That was a decisive victory, I'd say."

Celestia agreed. "It was no small thing to vanquish him at his own game, in his own court, and under his own rules. You were probably the first one to beat him at anything. You're a worthy champion!"

Dotti attempted to rise and fell back, holding her waist. "Y'mean I'm an overstuffed wreck. D'y'know, I think my ears have gone fatter!"

Platinum heaved Dotti upright, a smile hovering on her normally serious features. "Up you come! Clover, take her other paw. A good long walk until nightfall will cure you, and if that fails, there's always an old unicorn remedy for one who has overeaten, eh, Fleetscut?"

The old hare glared at her. He had not forgotten. "Take the walk, young 'un, tramp about till your bally paws feel ready to drop off. If y'don't I know what'll happen. Those horned poisoners will boil up half the woodlands in a pot an' sit on you till you drink it!"

Brocktree, Celestia, and Luna watched the haremaid totter off between the two unicorns. Celestia sat back on her flanks. "Our little Dotti, a future queen of hares. Who'd have thought it?"

The Badger Lord replied confidently, "I would, friend, that's why I chose her. That young 'un has courage, nerve, and wit. She'll make a truly perilous queen."

"But she hasn't won yet," Pansy mentioned. "She's still gotta win the Fighting tomorrow. And you read the rules. The one who wins the Fighting wins the whole thing. The other contests don't matter."

"Dotti kin do it," said Cookie.

Luna had remained quiet, not congratulating Dotti with the rest. "Is something the matter, sister?" Celestia asked.

"I can't bear to think of our Elements of Harmony in the paws of King Mortspear's son," said Luna. "Who knows what he'll do with them?"

"I know, he's probably taken over Salamandastron by now," said Brocktree.

"I haven't forgotten about Trunn," said Celestia. "But remember, the Elements can only be used for good. They won't work in the hands of an evil beast."

"And once Dotti becomes the queen, she can rally the hares and lead them to Salamandastron. Then I can take my mountain back and you can take your Elements back. Everything will be okay."

"I hope you're right," said Luna. "It seems all our hopes rest on this young haremaid."

Hurricane had finished eating and had wandered over to them. "Well, if Dotti fails, I can always challenge the king next. What was it you said, Puddinghead? I'll smack his tail with a big stick!"

And everypony laughed.

It was noon of the third day at the court of King Bucko Bigbones, time for the Fighting challenge. Spectators were packed tight around the arena; others sat on the hillside or climbed trees. However, there was no air of festive gaiety. This was serious business, the outcome would decide which hare picked up the crown. The high bright sun presided over a silent and solemn crowd. A furtive whisper rustled about Bucko and his seconds as they made their way to the ring through the path which fell open before them.

The mountain hare had drunk 32 cups of coffee that morning so he wouldn't fall asleep again and now he was all hyper. He took the log barrier at a bound, leaping right into the center of the arena. There was so much caffeine coursing through his bloodstream that he couldn't stand still. He was hopping about from foot to foot as he waited for Dotti.

Dotti entered the arena calmly, clad in a simple green tunic. She sat down on the opposite side of the ring, scarcely giving Bucko a glance.

Trotting to the center of the ring, the zebra started to give her preamble.

"Good creatures, attend me! Today is the day-"

Bucko cut her short. "Och, awa' with it an' stop wearin' yer auld stripes oot. We ken the rules as guid as anybeast here. Let's get on wi' it!"

A roar of approval arose as the pompous zebra fled the ring.

Bucko stared at Dotti and clenched his big left paw. "Ye've brought this on yersel', missy. Ah'll be fair grieved tae lay ye oot flat- ah've no' raised mah paw tae a lassie afore. Ah promise not tae hit ye too hard."

Dotti moved a little closer to him. "Thankee, sah, an' I promise not t'let you hit me at all. Now, do we stand here jaw waggin' all afternoon, or shall we get on with it? What d'you say, eh?"

Bucko's vision was so blurry that he saw two Dotties in front of him. He decided to swing at the one on the right. His fist hit thin air as Dotti kicked his footpaws from under him. The crowd roared aloud.

"Ha-ha, did y'see that? She sat him down good 'n' hard!"

"Aye, an' without even landin' a proper blow. Ho, ho, ho!"

Bucko scrambled upright, flicking dust from his scut, and went after the haremaid like a charging bull. This time he aimed for the image on the left, but he missed again, and his momentum carried him down to the ground. He went ears over scut, landing on his back in a cloud of dust.

He arose, but not so speedily this time, blood dripping from his nose. They faced each other, Dotti breathing hard, but Bucko breathing harder. His eyes were red with wrath.

"Stan' an' fight me, ye wee whelp!"

"I'm not going anywhere," Dotti said.

Bucko lashed out with a surprisingly quick left paw. Dotti dropped into a crouch, hearing it whistle overhead. She whacked at the stomach protruding in front of her. Bucko's flailing right thudded against the side of her head. Stars exploded in her eyes, and the crowd noise suddenly seemed very distant. Bucko's left looped around her head and tightened on her neck.

Roaring darkness filled Dotti's brain as the breath was cut off in her throat by Bucko's grip. Dimly she could hear Commander Hurricane bellowing, "The old bread basket, miss! Give it him in the basket!"

Dotti knew what she meant. Swinging her right furiously, she pummeled the king's stomach, and as he gasped she slid out of his stranglehold. She found herself facing his back, and shoved hard, knocking Bucko face-down.

He struggled up, spitting earth and wiping dust from both eyes. Lowering his head for a vicious butt, he hurtled forward. Dazed as she was, Dotti knew she had to act quickly. Holding position, the haremaid sucked in her stomach and arched her back. The mountain hare's bowed head struck her fractionally, jarring her hip. Clenching both paws, she brought them down in a sharp double blow on the back of Bucko's neck.

Once! Twice!

Still bent double, Bucko carried on another three paces, staggering crazily. Then he crumpled and fell.

A deathly hush fell over the crowd. Dotti walked across and stood over the fallen king. A voice from the crowd split the silence.

"Finish him off!"

Dotti turned and glared in the direction of the shout. "Why don't you try it yourself? Come on! This hare is a brave fighter. He could still finish you off from wherever he lies, whoever you are!"

Bending wearily, she tried to lift Bucko, but she collapsed with fatigue alongside him. The mountain hare opened one eye and gave her a battered smile.

"Mah thanks to ye for that, lassie. 'Twas weel said!"

They sat sharing a pail of water from a ladle, the victor and the vanquished. Brocktree and Celestia positioned themselves behind the pair, stopping the numerous paws and hooves trying to pat their backs.

"Well done! What a sooper doper scrap, wot!" exclaimed Fleetscut.

"You're the victoryfullest hare I've ever seen, Dotti!" Chancellor Puddinghead gushed.

"Ah knew ya could do it," said Cookie.

"And I'm glad you didn't finish him off," said Pansy.

Commander Hurricane said nonchalantly, "Pssh, I could have done that." When the other ponies glared at her, she amended, "But you did a good job too."

The zebra pushed her way through, bearing the crown and scepter. Bucko placed a paw about Dotti's shoulder. "Ah'd take et if I were ye, Dorothea. Ye beat me fair 'n' square, lassie. Ah couldnae think o' anybeast more deservin' of mah title than ye. Och, yer a fatal beauty, so y'are!"

"And you, sah, are a valiant an' brave warrior!" She passed the crown and scepter to Lord Brocktree. "Here y'are, sah, crown an' thingummy. Don't rightly know what I'm supposed to do with the confounded things."

Bucko was taken aback. "Och, ye mean ye don't want mah croon an' scepter?"

Dotti shook her head. "No, not really. The plan wasn't for me to become queen or kingess or anythin' like that. No, we had a bigger idea, and one which we think will appeal to a great perilous warrior like y'self, sah! Don't you realize you've practically got a blinkin' great army here at your court, Buck?"

The former king shrugged ruefully. "Aye, 'twas mah intention that one day ah'd knock 'em intae shape as an army. Then ah could've found mah enemy an' marched against him with these braw beasts at mah back."

Celestia patted Bucko's shoulder. "Well, your time has come, sir. You can help us rally this crew into a great fighting force to follow us to Salamandastron and face Ungatt Trunn."

"Ungatt Trunn the wildcat? Haud on there, yon's the very foe ah'm bound tae fight an' slay!"

Luna gaped in surprise. "You're joking!"

"Ach, 'tis nae joke. Feel mah back."

The alicorn ran her hoof across the welted ridges of flesh beneath the fur of Bucko's back. "He did this?"

"Nay. Ungatt Trunn doesnae commit acts of violence himself, he only incites others tae violence. But the whippin' was carried out by a fox named Karangool, on Trunn's orders. Flogged me with the flat o' mah own sword 'til it breakit o'er mah back, an' drove mah hares from oor hame in the North Mountains. Karangool, och, there's a vermin wouldnae sleep easy if he knew Bucko Bigbones was still alive an' drawin' breath. The rogue thought he'd left me for dead, ye ken! Ah dinnae know where this Salamawotjimacallit place is, but ah'm goin' with ye."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dawn's first birds trilled to the rising sun, waking the dew scattered sleepers in the wide forest glade. Brocktree and the company of chieftains stood on a rock protruding from the hillside. The badger waited patiently until everybeast was standing grouped before him. Then, at his nod, Bucko took the fore.

"Hearken tae me, mah beasties. There's an auld hare here, who comes frae a mountain an' bears a message for all warriors. Ah've nae doubt ye'll listen to whit he has tae say. Judge for yerselves, ah'm nae langer yer king!"

Bucko stood back, allowing Fleetscut to come forward. The old hare held the crown in his paw. "Mount Salamandastron is where I come from, as most of you know, wot. I've been gone from there a while now, but I know for certain that any hares left alive on the mountain will be salves and prisoners of the wildcat Ungatt Trunn and his Blue Hordes!" He waited until the angry shouts died down. "Hah, I see that y'know the vermin, wot. When Bucko was king he intended to form you into an army to hunt Trunn down an' face him. Well, that still goes. Only difference is you won't be marchin' under a king; our leader is the rightful heir of Salamandastron, Brocktree!"

The beasts assembled clapped so much that the noise echoed so much that the sound was still heard after a minute or so. Then the Badger Lord's voice boomed like thunder about the glade, setting every creature's neck hairs on end.

"Friends! Warriors! Goodbeasts all! I am going to defeat the evil one, Ungatt Trunn. I am going to take back from him and his Hordes the mountain that is mine. Today, now! I march for Salamandastron! Those who would follow me, call out this war cry. Eulalia!"

The entire glade exploded in an earsplitting roar.

"Eulaliiiiaaaaaaa!"

Stiffener Meddick and the other hares who had escaped with him had been hiding with a tribe of otters that lived in a cave by the sea called the Bark Crew. One day Stiffener got a text from Fleetscut that said, "GOOD NEWS. I HAVE FOUND LORD STONEPAW'S SON, LORD BROCKTREE, AN' WE'RE HEADIN' BACK 2 SALAMANDASTRON 2 SAVE U ALL, WOT. Oh sorry, I had me blinkin' caps lock on, lol."

"Then y didn't u go back an' turn it off?" Stiffener texted back.

"Couldn't b bothered, old chap. I'm in rather a hurry, don't u know."

Stiffener had not used his phone since Ungatt Trunn had seized Salamandastron, because he was afraid of being tracked, but now that help was on the way he felt safe enough. He excitedly typed, "Are there any other hares w/ u?"

"Oh, yes, lol, we've got a whole army of Scottish hares w/ us, wot wot. 😊"

"OMG!"

"But I haven't told u the best part, Stiff old boy. We also have some ponies w/ us, an' they're gonna help us out."

"Ponies? U mean, like horses?"

"Yes, but these r actually some amazin' an' talented creatures. We've got earth ponies who r really strong, pegasi, who r ponies with wings an' excellent fighters, an' unicorns w/ magical powers. Then there are 2 ponies called alicorns who have both wings AND UNICORN HORNS OH SORRY CAPS LOCK IS ON AGAIN."

"Gr8." Stiffener wrote.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The inside of Salamandastron had become a very different place. Dirt and dust were everywhere. Vermin lounged around all over the place. Ungatt Trunn's spiders had spun webs in nearly every corner. The walls were covered with animal racial slurs like "Stripedog" and "Longears," and there was even a caricature of Lord Stonepaw drawn on a door, giving him a wobbly fat drooping nose. Ungatt sat on Stonepaw's old throne, drinking coffee and reveling in his newfound power. A hooded figure stood nearby. Then a rat named Ripfang poked his head into the doorway.

"Sire, I've found somethin' on the computer that you should see!" Ripfang knew all about computers because he had once been a pirate, downloading illegal music and videos.

"All right, lead me to it," said Ungatt Trunn, getting up. "But I warn you, if this turns out to be useless nonsense, you will feed the spiders, like that hare over there." He waved a paw in the direction of the corner, where the half eaten carcass of Sailears lay in a spider web. Ungatt had put it there after Karangool had accidently drowned Sailears.

Ripfang swallowed. "Ye won't be disappointed, Sire. I found out where the escaped rabbets were 'iding. I can show yer now."

Ungatt Trunn followed him to the secret war room deep inside the mountain, where the Badger Lords kept their computers and lasers and an XBOX 360.

"I don't see any hares in here!" the cat said threateningly.

"It shows where they are on the computer, Sire," Ripfang stammered nervously.

"Which computer? This one?" Ungatt asked. Ripfang nodded. Ungatt Trunn sat down in front of the computer and set his coffee mug in the cup holder. At least he thought it was a cup holder. It was really the disk drive. Ripfang knew better than to point this out, though. Correcting Ungatt Trunn would result in instant death.

"I don't see anything," the cat complained cattily.

"You 'ave ter use the mouse," the rat explained patiently.

"What mouse? I see no mouse!"

"It's this liddle cursor thing right 'ere." Ripfang guided Ungatt Trunn's paw to it. Ungatt pressed the mouse against the computer screen.

"What's going on? Why isn't anything happening? I hate this! I hate all technology! We don't even use computers in this time period, and they don't use them on My Little Pony either!"

"True, but we don't 'ave guns in this time period either, an' Swartt Sixclaw still used one in the other story, Outcast of Equestria," Ripfang said. Ungatt glared at him. "Look, I'll show yer 'ow t'do this, Sire." Ripfang used the mouse in the proper way, and pulled up the program that the Badger Lords used to track their hares' cell phones.

"See, one o' the rabbets used their phone to send a text from right 'ere a minute ago. That means they're prob'ly still there. Me an' my brother Doomeye passed that cave on our way 'ere to join you, so I recognize the spot."

The cat rubbed his paws together. "Excellent. You've done something right for once, Ripfang. You and I will take thirty soldiers and go down there to wipe those losers out once and for all."

They rounded up a score and a half of Blue Hordebeasts including Ripfang's brother Doomeye. Then they marched down to the beach.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The otters and hares were eating breakfast in their cave when a heron flew in panickingly. "Ahoy there, Rulango," called Brogalaw, the otter leader. "Wot's up?"

The heron, Rulango, began sketching a series of pictures in the sand with a stick. Brogalaw was the only creature who knew how to read his writing. He examined it with trepidation.

"Oh no!" he cried. "There's a party of thirty blue bottoms left the mountain at dawn. Rulango reckons they're 'eaded thisaways!"

"Must be a foragin' party," said a hare named Willip.

Stiffener shook his head sadly. "I don't think so, marm. I got a text message from Fleetscut this morning sayin' that he was on his way back 'ere with a new Badger Lord and an army of hares and magical ponies. I was so excited that I sent him a text back. Ungatt Trunn must've used it to find our location."

"How can they find you from a text message?" asked one of the otters.

"Anybeast can track a cell phone because they send out invisible signals," Willip explained. "And Lord Stonepaw had a special program on his computer that would show the locations of any of our phones. That way, if one of us was on a patrol and got into trouble, he would've been able to find us and send help, wot. The bally vermin must've figured out how to use it."

"I was so sure we were safe now because there was help comin'," said Stiffener. "That's why I felt confident enough to send a text. Now it looks like I've killed us all."

"Well, I 'ope the help comes soon," said Brogalaw. "But Rulango says there's only thirty vermin coming, so there ain't too many more o' them than there are of us. Mebbe we can beat 'em. I think the best thing to do is come out an' meet them head-on so we won't get trapped in 'ere."

Stiffener bit his lip. "I'm with you, mate! Best go north, away from the direction of our cave."

All the otters and hares who were fit enough to fight headed down to the shore. They left Rulango the heron behind in the cave to guard the otter babies, the Dibbuns. They concealed the entrance to the cave with big boulders.

When they reached a circle of rocks on the sand, they heard voices chanting. "Ungatt! Trunn Trunn Trunn!"

Brogalaw's grip tightened around the javelin which he always carried with him. "Haharr, it won't be much longer now, mates. 'Ear 'em getting their nerve up to charge."

The speed and volume of the chant increased.

"Ungatt! Trunn Trunn Trunn! Ungatt! Trunn Trunn Trunn!"

From the rock circle the otters and hares answered with their own defiant war cry.

"Blood 'n' vinegar! Eulalia!"

Stiffener centered an arrow on the dark forms breaking cover. "Stand fast, mates, 'ere they come!"

The vermin charged.

The battle was going badly. Willip lay dead on the rocks. Stiffener stood over her body, a whirling sling in one paw, a sword in the other, slashing and whacking at the vermin as they hurtled themselves at him. The surviving hares and otters stood on the sand, backs against the rocks, thrusting hard with their spears. Brogalaw shouldered an otter who had been struck twice by arrows. The sea otter skipper was using his broken javelin as a club.

Ungatt Trunn had done what all careful vermin officers usually do; he had stayed out of the battle, directing it from the rear and laying about the half-hearted ones who tried to hang back. He had kept Ripfang and Doomeye with him, but Doomeye had bloodlust in his eyes now that he could see victory in sight. The searat licked his cutlass blade and danced on the spot with frustration.

"Lemme at 'em, I wanna kill a few!"

Ripfang nudged him sharply. "Nah, yew don't wanna do that, Doom. Look, they've retreated fer their last stand. There ain't many left, but they got nothin' to lose now, so they'll be real dangerous. Stay out!"

But Doomeye dashed forward, waving his blade. "I ain't scared! C'mon, Rip, let's see the color o' their guts! Yahaaarrr, char-"

Suddenly a rainbow-colored streak blasted through the air and hit Doomeye, laying him senseless. It was Commander Hurricane! Ripfang gaped at the Pegasus in surprise. "Wha… you ain't one o' them, are yer? I ain't seen you before."

Hurricane grinned. "I was born in the thunder. I'm a warrior, the child of warriors! Stand in my way an' I'll tramp right over you!" she yelled.

"Seize her!" Ungatt Trunn shouted.

The vermin turned away from the otters and hares and advanced on Hurricane, but they couldn't even touch her. When a weasel made a dive at her, she drove her front hooves into his stomach with a force so great that the weasel staggered backward onto the blade of the ferret behind him. At the same time, Hurricane's hind legs crashed into a rat's head, knocking him out cold. Every time a vermin tried to attack the Pegasus they got injured. Finally, she just swooped into the air, out of the horde's reach.

"I never seen anything like that afore, Sire," Ripfang said. "She's like a blinkin' hurricane!"

"That's what they call me!" Hurricane laughed.

Ungatt Trunn's tiny mind was cogitating how to turn the situation to his advantage. "Well, well, you're a mighty warrior, all right," he said. "You're not short on nerve, and you're even already blue. How'd you like to be a Captain in my Blue Hordes? The best of food, slaves to command as you please, I'll even give you a spear to carry if you swear loyalty to me as your master. Well, what've you got to say to that?"

But Commander Hurricane just laughed more. "Sorry, dude. I'm already part of an army. Eulalia!"

Her war cry echoed back at her like rolling thunder.

"EULALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Lord Brocktree mounted the rocks, swinging his mighty sword. He was followed by scores of hares, earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, and two alicorns. Ungatt Trunn and his vermin fled screaming.

Stiffener sat down upon the sand, staring at the Badger Lord, completely bewildered.

"It's like seeing Lord Stonepaw when he was young, but bigger, much bigger."

Fleetscut ambled up and sat beside his old friend. "That's the great Lord Brocktree. Big, ain't he? A regular one beast army an' no mistake, wot!"

"Fleetscut! My dear ole chap- where did you spring from? Tell me everything!"

"Later, ole friend. There's business to do first."

That night, an immense feeling of joy and relief reigned over the cliffs and cave, which the small party of hares and otters had used as their hiding place. The center of it all was Lord Brocktree. The big badger radiated quiet strength and confidence. Creatures passed close to him, so that they could reach out and touch his huge form, or admire his massive sword. Now they could sit out in the open, feeling safe and reassured by his presence. Stiffener Meddick summed it all up in a single phrase.

"At last we've got a leader, a real Badger Lord!"

Celestia had gone out to spy on the vermin. Now she came back with good news. "I saw a band of about a hundred vermin heading to the shore. They were led by the ferret called the Grand Fragorl."

"Oh no! Are they gonna attack us?" Puddinghead cried. "That doesn't sound like good news to me!"

"Now hold yer horses," said Smart Cookie. "Let 'er finish talkin'."

"Thank you, Cookie," Celesia said. "Doubtlessly their master Ungatt Trunn sent them to attack us, but instead they headed for the cat's ship, the Trunn Princess. I watched them sail away out of sight. I don't think they'll be back."

"Good oh!" Dotti cried.

"Yeah, it looks like they know better than to mess with a Badger Lord," Hurricane said. "They were probably intimidated by my show of strength earlier too."

Brocktree remained serious. "Let's not get too cocky," he cautioned his friends. "Many of the Blue Hordebeasts may have deserted, but there are still plenty left. We still have a battle ahead of us."

"I really don't wanna have to fight in a battle," Pansy whispered. "I don't like killing things!"

"Well, we don't have to slay every last one of the vermin," Brocktree said. "Remember, our goal is simply to regain the mountain."

"And the Elements of Harmony," Luna reminded him.

"Can't we just convert the Blue Hordes with the magic of friendship?" Pansy wanted to know.

Brogalaw shook his head. "You don't know what yore talkin' about, missy. You can't simply convert vermin. Rats, weasels, ferrets, and foxes have been causing trouble in Mossflower since the time of our earliest ancestors. They live only for plunder an' killin'. In prehistoric times, those kinds of animals used ter eat other animals. Now we have no need to feed off each other anymore, but vermin still feel a compulsion to kill other beasts, because of their predator instincts."

"But aren't otters and badgers predators too?" Clover the Clever asked.

"Hold on," Luna said. "Maybe there's a simple solution to this problem. A snake dies when you cut off its head, right?"

"I think anything dies when you cut off its head, wot?" said Dotti.

"Yes," Luna said impatiently, "but my point is, if we can just kill Ungatt Trunn, the leader, the rest of the troops will become demoralized and give us no more trouble."

Brocktree liked this idea. "Yes, that could work," he said, nodding. "I'll challenge Ungatt Trunn to a single combat, like when Dotti fought Bucko for the crown."

"That's the ticket, sah!" Fleetscut cried. "You can defeat him easily, a big strong badger like you, wot!"

"I'll write up a challenge and send it to him," Brocktree said.

He got a piece of paper and wrote:

UNGATT TRUNN

YOU HAVE TAKEN SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU AND I WANT IT BACK. MY ARMY COULD PROBABLY DEFEAT YOURS, BUT I DO NOT WANT UNNECESSARY KILLING. INSTEAD, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A ONE ON ONE COMBAT TO THE DEATH. THE WINNER GETS SALMANDASTRON.

-LORD BROCKTREE

He walked out of the cave and up to the mountain with Celestia and Luna. Celestia took the message and flew into the sky. She threw it through a window and then swooped back down before anybeast could see her and maybe shoot her with an arrow.

"Success?" Luna asked.

"Success," Celestia replied.

In less time than you could think, WHOP! A big black thing came down, as big as the stone of a cheese press. It landed right at Brocktree's feet.

"Oh, that's nice," he said. "Trunn wrapped his return message around a great whacking rock. Probably trying to brain me with it."

Luna picked it up and read it. "The fool can barely spell!"

It said this:

DEER STRIPEDOG

I DO NOT KNEAD TO FIGHT FOUR THIS MOUNTAIN. IT IS ALREADY MINE BY WRITE OF CONQUEST. I CAN STAY IN HEAR FOREVER WHILE YOU STARVE TO DEARTH OUT ON THE BEACH. SOONER OR LATTER, YOU WILL HALF TO LEAVE.

Brocktree did not know what to do. "Ever since I saw that cat's face in my dream, I have been worrying about what would happen when I finally had to face him," he confided in his friends. "But it never occurred to me that Ungatt Trunn just wouldn't fight me."

"Well, why don't we go back and show this note to our other friends?" Celestia suggested. "Surely one of them will have an idea."

They trudged back to the cave gloomily. They didn't notice the pair of yellow eyes observing them from a window.

"Since I can't convince Ungatt Trunn to fight me, we'll have to take Salamandastron back by stealth," said Lord Brocktree. He was back in the otter cave with all his allies around him.

"Super wheeze, wot!" Dotti exclaimed. "Now, what's your jolly old plan, Sire?"

"Well, I don't exactly have a plan yet," the badger admitted. "We still need to come up with one."

"We've gotta be thinkin' hard, rasslin' with our brains," said Cookie. This was followed by a long silence.

"Surely somebeast must have some glimmer of a plan?" said Princess Platinum after a few minutes. No one answered her.

"I say we just charge the mountain, and whack 'em, an' whack 'em, an' whack 'em!" Commander Hurricane shouted.

"Weren't you listening to the Badger Lord?" Chancellor Puddinghead responded. "He said we need to come up with a plan based on smartness instead of fighting-ness! We need to think outside the box and inside the chimney… but there's no chimney in this cave."

That gave Lord Brocktree the idea he was looking for. "The chimney… inside the chimney!"

Nobeast knew what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" Celestia asked.

"Salamandastron is basically a big volcano," Brocktree said. "It stopped erupting long ago, but there's still a huge crater in the top where lava used to pour out. We can get inside the mountain by climbing in through the hole, or one might say, the chimney."

"I say, that's using the old noggin!" Fleetscut shouted.

"But how would we get up there?" Clover asked. "The mountain looks much too steep to climb all the way to the top from outside. I don't think we could do it."

"Maybe you can't, but we can," said Commander Hurricane proudly. "My pegasi can fly up there in no time."

"That's right," said Brocktree. "I want all of the pegasi, along with Celestia and Luna to fly up into the crater and sneak into the mountain."

"But that won't work," Luna objected. "They'll see us and shoot at us."

"It sounds like we need to come up with another part of the plan, to distract the vermin so they won't be able to stop our fliers from getting in," said Celestia.

"Maybe if they were fighting the rest of us, you could fly in without being noticed," said Brocktree.

"But the cat already said he wasn't gonna fight you," mentioned Pansy.

A gleam came into Bucko's eye. "We'll have tae make him mad, like Dotti did wi' me!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, Ungatt Trunn was talking to his captains, Ripfang, Doomeye, and Karangool.

"We should build a wall around the mountain, to stop anybeast we don't want from getting in," he said.

"Can we pay for a wall?" Ripfang wondered.

"We'll make THEM pay for it!" the cat declared confidently, gesturing out the window to the creatures outside. Suddenly he heard music coming from out there. It was Dotti singing an insulting song.

"When God made a cat he was desperate

For something to make himself laugh.

He gave it the brain of a monkey,

But dropped it and broke it in half.

Cats are stupid,

They don't have the sense of a snooker ball.

That's why monkeys

Deny any kinship at all!"

Ungatt Trunn wasn't sure what infuriated him more, the rude song, or the awful voice of the creature singing it. But there was one thing he was sure about.

"They can't get away with making fun of me like this!" he shouted angrily. "They are very bad (or sick) beasts! We'll gather all our forces and smash them once and for all!"

"But won't that leave the mountain undefended?" Ripfang asked. "Yew said we 'ad to 'old onto this fortress no matter what!"

Ungatt Trunn's eyes blazed savagely. "Perhaps you'd like to stay here?"

Ripfang knew that when the wildcat said stay here he meant "Stay as a corpse wrapped in a spider web." He averted his eyes from the murderous gaze. "No, I don't wanna stay 'ere, ha-ha! Me an' me brother are loyal to ye, sire, you lead an' we'll follow yer, true blue an' never fail!"

Trunn smiled, but that only made him look scarier. "Good! Get the columns ready to march, captain. We are gonna win so much that you guys are gonna be sick and tired of winning!"

Lord Brocktree stood outside Salamandastron with all of the hares and ponies. "They'll be coming out any minute now," he said to Celestia. "Are you ready for this?"

Commander Hurricane answered for her. "We were born ready!"

Brocktree stood at the front of his army, with Dotti at his right side and Fleetscut at his left. All the other creatures were behind them, except for the Pegasus ponies, who were in a separate group off to the side, with Celestia and Luna.

Just then Ungatt Trunn came out with his entire horde. "I want their leaders alive! The rest must be slaughtered!" he shouted cattily.

As the Blue Hordes charged Brocktree's forces, Celestia, Luna, and all the pegasi swooped into the air, over the heads of the vermin. Ungatt Trunn was so caught up in the battle that he didn't even notice as the flying ponies soared up to the top of the mountain and in through the crater.

It wasn't just a big hole as it had looked from the outside. They had to travel through many twisting tunnels, but there was still plenty of room to spread their wings, and eventually they made it into the main fortress.

Celestia was shocked at what she saw. Salamandastron was full of dirt and grime. There were spider webs everywhere. When she saw the web with Sailears' skeleton inside, the alicorn threw up a bit in her mouth but she swallowed it just in time.

Pansy began to cry at the sight. Even Commander Hurricane was taken aback. "I thought this place would be a little… y'know, cleaner," she said.

"Well, it will be, once Lord Brocktree gets it back," Celestia said, fighting her revulsion. "Let's split up and look for the Elements of Harmony."

"I didn't see the wildcat wearing anything around his neck, so they must still be in here," Luna said helpfully.

"What do they look like again?" Hurricane asked.

"Well, the Element of Magic is a tiara," Celestia said. "The others are all necklaces. The Element of Generosity has a gem in the shape of a jewel. The Element of Laughter has a gem in the shape of a balloon. The Element of Honesty has a gem shaped like an apple. The Element of Kindness has a butterfly on it, and the Element of Loyalty has a lightning bolt."

"Hey, my cutie mark is a lightning bolt!" Hurricane exclaimed.

"And my cutie mark is a butterfly," said Pansy.

Celestia studied their flanks. "You know, the Elements of Kindness and Loyalty do look remarkably like your cutie marks."

"Let's spread out!" Luna said impatiently. They all began to comb the mountain, searching for the Elements.

Luna heard some cries coming from a room. "Help! Let us out of here, wot!"

She put her eye to the keyhole, but she couldn't see inside. It was jammed. "Who's there?"

"My name is Torleep," said a male voice. "I'm an officer in Lord Stonepaw's Long Patrol. I've got about sixty other hares in here with me."

"Hang on," Luna said. She blasted the lock with her horn. The door fell open.

"Thanks awfully, wot!" exclaimed an old female hare wearing an apron. "I'm Blench. I'm the cook hereabouts."

"Yes, I know your niece," Luna said. "My name is Luna."

"Does this mean Ungatt Trunn has finally fallen? Where's Lord Stonepaw?" Torleep asked.

Luna looked down. "I'm afraid Lord Stonepaw is dead." Blench and another hare named Woebee burst into tears. "But his son Lord Brocktree is here," Luna added. "Trunn hasn't fallen yet, but we're working on it."

Then Celestia came down the hall. "I found the Elements of Harmony! They were in a box on a nightstand in the Badger Lord's bedchamber." She held up the open box with the necklaces.

"Hang on a tick, those are Ungatt Trunn's necklaces!" Torleep cried. "He used 'em to make the blinkin' stars fall from the sky!"

"No, they actually belong to me and my sister Celestia," Luna said.

Celestia frowned. "Wait a minute. You say Ungatt Trunn used the Elements of Harmony?"

"Well, that's what it looked like, wot."

"But that can't be. The Elements of Harmony can only be used for good, and only ponies can wield them. How could Ungatt Trunn do magic with them?"

"I don't know." Torleep rubbed his tummy.

"Are you hungry?" Celestia asked symphonically.

"Oh, abso-bally-lutely! We haven't eaten anything in days, not since Doomeye jammed the flippin' lock on the door trying to get in."

"Well, let's see what we can find to eat," the alicorn said.

"Ow, thank you marm!" Woebee sobbed gratefully.

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The fighting blood of his badger sires coursed through Brocktree's veins. He went straight through the Hordebeasts like a tidal wave, his sword scything a harvest of death. The Badger Lord and his hares carried the bulk of the fighting but the ponies made a good account of themselves, bringing down several vermin with their hooves and horns. Brogalaw and his remaining otters stood on the sides, sniping with slings and javelins.

Ungatt Trunn was being drawn farther and farther away from the mountain, and something in the back of his mind told him this wasn't good. But he kept slashing away with his weapon, a long three-pronged trident.

Bucko noticed Karangool and Ripfang on the sidelines of the battle, trying to sneak away. The highland hare charged after them, roaring, "Yerrrahaaah! Ah'm the mad March hare frae the mountains!"

"Trunn is finished," Karangool said to the rat. "We forget diss place, go piratin' again!"

Suddenly a huge hare leaped in front of them and punched Karangool in the stomach with a massive paw. Ripfang squealed in terror and bolted. Bucko let him get away, because the rat was not the one he had a score to settle with.

"Guid afternoon to ye, Cap'n Karangool, is it?" His chuckle was neither pleasant nor friendly. "Ah'm Bucko Bigbones. Mebbe ye remember me?"

Karangool spoke, just one word. "No!"

"No? NO?" The hare was boiling with rage. "You destroyed mah home and murdered mah family and ye don't even remember it?"

"I destroy many homes, slay many beasts, yarr!"

Bucko adopted a somewhat calmer tone. "Weel, ye set still there an' ah'll tell ye a sad auld tale, aboot a puir young hare, whit wis left for dead by a wicked auld fox who beat him wi' a sword blade…" He raised his own sword.

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Fate fell upon Fleetscut, for he was struck by a jagged stone near the ankle of his right leg. He that had hurled it was Ungatt Trunn himself; the bones and both the tendons were crushed by the pitiless stone. He fell to the ground on his back and in his death throes stretched out his paws towards his comrades. But Ungatt Trunn, who had wounded him, sprang on him and thrust a trident into his belly, so that his bowels came gushing out upon the ground, and darkness veiled his eyes.

The cat pulled his trident out of the hare and turned his attention back to the battle raging around him. But he quickly realized that there was no battle raging around him. Lord Brocktree and all of his allies were gone.

"Where did they all go?" he cried.

A weasel chuckled darkly. "Isn't it obvious? They all went back inside the mountain. They were tryin' to cut us off. That was their plan all along. Hey, when are we gonna start winning so much that we get tired of winning? Because to me, we only seem to be losi-"

Ungatt Trunn was not pleased with the weasel so he got his head and broke it, and then stabbed him in the heart, and pulled his eyes out. He lay there lifeless.

Then the wildcat warlord gave vent to a primeval howl of rage. He fell down upon the sand, beating the ground with his fists.

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Lord Brocktree put aside his battle blade. The badger's eyes were red as flame on winter's eve. His huge chest rose and fell as he approached the alicorn sisters. He stood silent awhile, striving to control the Bloodwrath. Celestia and Luna took a step backward from the fearsome sight. Brocktree shuddered violently, as if trying to rid himself of a phantom foe. Then he held both paws wide, bowed his head, and spoke in a normal tone.

"This is my mountain. Welcome to Salamandastron!"

"Is the war over now?" Pansy asked the next day at lunch.

Brocktree shook his great striped head. "No chance of that, I'm certain. He'll be back, this isn't finished yet. That murdering wildcat isn't about to just turn an' march away. It won't end until one or the other of us is dead."

"Why does it have to end that way?" the Pegasus persisted. "Maybe Ungatt Trunn could change and be a goodbeast if you only gave him the chance."

Luna snorted. "He's about seventy seasons old. He's had plenty of opportunity to be good, but he has always acted evil. His father was the same way."

"I've 'eard things about Ungatt Trunn that'd make yore feathers curl," said Brogalaw. "He and his wicked father, King Mortspear, once wanted to open up a casino on an island, but the otters who lived there wouldn't let 'em. So the two o' them came back with an army of feral cats an' took over the whole island. The few otters they didn't kill are slaves for the cats now."

"Well, that does sound pretty bad," Pansy admitted.

Then Bucko came running into the dining hall. "They're comin' back, whole bunch o' the blue scum!"

Brock stood up. "Did you see Trunn with them?"

"Nay, not with me own eyes, but he wouldnae ever stand at the front. He was probably hiding behind his soldiers."

"Say, what happened with you and that fox?" Commander Hurricane asked him, as one warrior to another.

The March hare smiled grimly. "Oh, he disappeared. Ye know how foxes can disappear easy!"

Hurricane glanced at the dried blood on his sword. "Yeah, I know all right."

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Lord Brocktree stepped out onto the beach to meet the approaching vermin, flanked by the alicorn sisters.

"I see the cat now, but just a glimpse," said Celestia. "He's not taking any chances. He's well shielded by three ranks of guards, shields up too."

The vermin halted within hailing distance. Trunn's shout rang out from between the ranks. "I've decided to take you up on your offer, stripedog! I will meet you, face to face, claw to paw, and tooth to fang in combat to the death! The one left standing takes all."

Brocktree's sharp growl answered. "Tomorrow then, when the noon is high. We will meet there, where you stand upon the shore at this moment."

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Ungatt Trunn was desperate. Before, he had not wanted to risk direct combat with the badger, but now it was the only way he could regain control of the mountain. But he wasn't going to leave anything to chance. That night he met with the rat Doomeye to discuss his plan for fixing the fight tomorrow.

"You're still loyal to me, right Doomeye? You won't desert like your brother?"

Doomeye shivered, his eyes wide. He didn't know what to expect, but he knew there was only one answer if he wanted to live. "Of course. You can count on me!"

"Good," said the cat. "I need an archer, the very finest bowbeast, one who never misses."

Hearing this, Doomeye regained some of his confidence. "Look ye no further, cap'n. I can pick off a butterfly on the wing, an' I'd take me oath on that. Yew ain't never seen a beast livin' that kin fire off a shaft like me."

Trunn's tail curled out and drew him close. Doomeye's paws quivered as he gazed into the wildcat's savage eyes.

"Fail me and I'll make sure you die bit by bit, searat! Now, here's what you must do. I know I can easily trump the stripedog tomorrow, but I want to make sure I cover all the angles. Climb the mountain tonight, letting nobeast see you. Find a spot where you can command a good view of the combat. If the fight is going against me, kill the badger. Go now. Make sure you find a good hiding place. Be certain none see you!"

Doomeye departed, wishing he had taken his brother up on his offer to run away together the day before.

The next morning, everybeast on both sides gathered on the shore to watch the final combat between Lord Brocktree and Ungatt Trunn.

Lord Brocktree of Brockhall unshouldered his great sword and strode onto the sand. Behind him the sea lay calm, like a glittering mirror. He breathed deep and stood ready, clad only in a loose green tunic, a broad woven belt circling his waist.

Ungatt Trunn prowled into the place of combat. The wildcat was a barbarous sight. His pointed ears could be seen through the slits of a round steel helmet with a spike on top and a shoulder length fringe of fine chain mail. He wore a purple tunic, topped by a copper breastplate. Above his paws were metal bracelets with spikes bristling from them. In one paw he carried the big trident, in the other a woven net edged with metal weights.

Silence fell upon the packed shore, a quietness that was almost unearthly in its intensity. Lord Brocktree came to the center of the arena. Lifting the sword level with his face, he saluted his enemy in the traditional manner of a beast about to do combat. But salutes, rules, and formalities did not figure in Ungatt Trunn's nature. A screeching growl ripped from his throat, and he charged!

The cat darted wildly at the badger, and whetting their savage boar teeth with the dew of the sea foam, they began to fight, trying to engage each other with their trident and sword respectively. But they were both so carefully guarded by their armor that neither of them could stab the other. Suddenly Ungatt Trunn kicked a stone at Brocktree, but in doing so he exposed his leg. The Badger Lord saw an opening and struck at the vulnerable limb with his sword.

He just managed to graze Trunn, drawing a small amount of blood, but the cat had so many tricks up his sleeve.

"Oh, it's on," Trunn hissed, falling to his knees. "I'll take you on now!"

Doomeye was hidden in the rocks above the beach. When he saw Ungatt Trunn take a hit, he realized it was the perfect time for him to pull out his arrow. He drew back his seasoned yew bow to its limit and fired. He meant to pierce the base of the badger's skull from behind, but Brocktree shifted his position at the last second and the arrow hit him in the shoulder instead. The badger groaned and dropped his sword.

Doomeye's lip pouted sulkily as he laid another shaft on his bowstring. "I still got 'im," he muttered.

But Luna had seen him shoot the first arrow from the crowd. She was already moving. Flying up to Doomeye's level, she shot a blast of magic from her horn that sliced the rat's bowstring in two. With a sob of horror, Doomeye fled, with Luna in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile, down below, the main battle continued. Both combatants were wounded now, Ungatt Trunn in his leg by the badger's sword, and Brocktree in his shoulder from Doomeye's arrow. The Badger Lord groped for his sword, but before he could reach it, Trunn lunged and stabbed him in the side with his trident. Brocktree fell to the ground with an almighty crash, raising a cloud of sand, whereat the vermin cried for joy, one and all!

With painful effort, Ungatt Trunn raised himself to his feet, his leg still dripping blood. He looked around at the crowd. Some creatures had their eyes full of tears, others looked angry, some turned away from him in fear, while his remaining Blue Hordebeasts were jubilant. He focused his gaze on Celestia, who glared defiantly back at him, surrounded by Chancellor Puddinghead, Smart Cookie, Princess Platinum, Clover the Clever, Commander Hurricane, and Private Pansy.

The cat laughed triumphantly. "These are the days of Ungatt Trunn the Fearsome Beast! O Mighty One, he who makes the stars fall!" he declaimed. "Conqueror, Earth Shaker, son of King Mortspear, brother to Verdauga! Lord of all the Blue Hordes, who are as many as the leaves of autumn! O All Powerful Ungatt Tru…"

BAM!

Suddenly, Lord Brocktree leaped on him and pinned him to the ground. He was not dead after all!

The badger stood over the cat, sword in paw, ready to deal the vermin his final death blow. But something prevented him. He heard Pansy's voice in his head as he remembered what she had said the day before.

"Why does it have to end this way? Maybe Ungatt Trunn could change and be a goodbeast if you only gave him the chance."

Brocktree knew that was a bunch of baloney. Ungatt Trunn would never change. He would always be a sadistic evil tyrant.

But if Brocktree killed him, would that make him just as bad?

But if he didn't kill him, the cat would continue his reign of terror. Even if Brocktree made him leave Salamandastron, Trunn would just go somewhere else and hurt other creatures.

What to do? What to do?

At last he removed his footpaw from Ungatt Trunn's chest, but he still kept his sword to the cat's neck. "Keep your life," he said. "But I'm giving the hares back their kingdom."

Brocktree released Trunn, letting him stand up.

Ungatt Trunn was in agony! How could he have been so arrogant? If only he had known how powerful Lord Brocktree really was.

But he didn't get to keep his life after all, because as soon as the cat regained his feet, a blast of magic shot out from somewhere in the crowd, killing him! Brocktree whipped his head around, looking to see who had done it.

The slayer of Ungatt Trunn stepped out from the group of vermin. It was a big creature wearing a hood.

"Isn't that the Fragorl?" Platinum whispered to Celestia. "I thought you said she deserted!"

But it wasn't the Grand Fragorl. It wasn't even a female. With a pair of red hands, the creature lifted his hood. He was muscular and red, with four hooved legs, two arms, and long black horns on his head. He looked really evil and the sight scared Brocktree to death but not enough to actually make him die.

The thing spoke in a voice that made Brocktree go first cold, then hot.

"I AM TIREK THE CENTAUR!"

"I WAS REALLY THE MASTER OF THE BLUE HORDES ALL ALONG," said Tirek. "TRUNN WAS NOT MASTER. EVERY TIME HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING MAGIC, IT WAS REALLY ME!"

"It all makes sense now," Celestia said. "Of course Ungatt Trunn couldn't have used the Elements of Harmony if he was evil. But now I have them back, and I will stop you!"

She took out the box with the Elements of Harmony. Just as she was about to open the box, Tirek did a spell and trapped her in a floating bubble with a cruel laugh.

Right before the bubble imprisoned Celestia, the box slipped from her hooves, and fell to the ground, scattering the Elements. However, the Elements didn't just fall on the sand. Instead each of them landed around the neck of a pony standing nearby.

The Element of Laughter landed on Chancellor Puddinghead, who was always full of laughter.

The Element of Honesty landed on Smart Cookie, because she had told the truth about seeing the Blue Hordes.

The Element of Generosity landed on Princess Platinum, because she had given up her ration of food to Udara Groundslay so Fleetscut could have information.

The Element of Kindness landed on Pansy, because she removed the thorn from the pike's flipper.

The Element of Loyalty landed on Commander Hurricane, because she rejected Ungatt Trunn's offer to join his Blue Hordes.

And Clover the Clever got the Element of Magic, because that was the only one left.

When the six Elements of Harmony were gathered together, they created a mighty rainbow colored blast of magic! For a few seconds, nobeast could see anything. Then, when the cloud of magical energy cleared away, Tirek was gone. He had been banished to Tartarus.

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Evening sun was dipping low on the horizon. Dotti sat with all her friends and comrades in arms. From where they rested, on a broad terrace of rock slabs and vegetation, above the mountain's main entrance, the whole scene of that day's activities was spread before them. Like autumn leaves strewn by the wind, distant vessels ranged far and wide over the darkening sea, to the north and south and out to the west.

Dotti held Celestia's hoof. "I'm going to miss you pretty awfully, y'know. Wouldn't you consider staying on a few seasons, help me to command the new Long Patrol that Lord Brocktree's forming? We'd have lots of super adventures, you 'n' me, ranging the shores an' woodlands an' whatnot, wot wot?"

The alicorn ruffled her ears affectionately. "No, I must return to my homeland, Equestria, with all the ponies. They need me to be their Princess. But if ever you need us in the future, just send word."

"Wow. I can't believe you're a Princess. I guess you'll need a crown, then, wot?" Dotti handed Celestia the crown which she had won from Bucko Bigbones.

"I can't take that. It's yours," Celestia protested.

However, Dotti wouldn't take no for an answer. "Stuff an' nonsense. What do I want with a crown? The heavy thing would only hurt my blinkin' head." And she placed it on Celestia's head.

Shading his eyes from the sun's crimson glow, Stiffener watched them growing smaller. "Lots o' those ships overladen with vermin, y'know. I'd say some of them'll sink afore the next dawn comes."

Commander Hurricane wrinkled her brow feathers, in that manner pegasi adopt when they could not care less. "Serves 'em right. 'Snot our fault they wouldn't stand an' make a fight of it. Hah, ran like forficartickers, they did!" Nobeast bothered inquiring what a forficarticker could be.

"Well, I for one am jolly well glad they did run," Dotti admitted. "We never lost one creature in that little scrabble across the shore to the shallows. There were more vermin drowned than slain in combat. A score or so of ours wounded, no great slaughter. Almost what they call a bloodless victory, wot."

An iron arrowhead clinked on the rocks, and Lord Brocktree emerged from an open window space to sit with them. "Anybeast want to keep that as a souvenir of the battle? Clover dug it out of my shoulder- that unicorn's a marvel when it comes to patching a beast up!"

"Ya look like you've been in a good ole battle, sir!" Smart Cookie exclaimed.

Brocktree took a sip from the tankard he was carrying. "I suppose I do, but I'm feeling no pain at all. One of your pegasi gave me this to drink, Hurricane. What is it?"

The Commander took a drink and winked knowingly. "Special old berry 'n' pear wine with some cowslip an' royal fern essence. That'll make ya sleep tonight!"

The hare Trobee took a mouthful and nodded approvingly. "Tastes absolutely spiffin'. Wish I'd been wounded!"

Brogalaw tweaked the hungry hare's ear. "Don't start talkin' about vittles an' drink again, y'great long eared stummick. We're flat out o' grub. But you won't need to wait long. 'Ere comes my bird to the rescue!"

Rulango soared gracefully in out of the evening sky. He was all over Brog, wafting him with both wings and knocking his beak against the sea otter's paws, as if checking he was unhurt. Brog stroked Rulango's neck to calm him down.

"Steady on there, ole mattress back, I'm all right. Lissen, matey, you get back to the cave an' tell 'em to whomp up vittles fer victors, lots of the stuff, as much as they can cook afore mornin'. I'll send some of those hares over there, an' we'll get 'em moved lock, stock an' vittles back 'ere. I tell ye, mates, I feels a feast comin' on!"

Stiffener's eyes lit up, as did many others. "I say, splendid idea, old lad, wot!"

"Aye, a great feast at Salamandastron!"

"With enough food to sink a gang of Pegasus ponies!" Hurricane declared.

"And singing and music, for days and days!" Celestia added.

"Yeah, an' dancin' too, Ah likes ta dance!"

"An' when it gets dark we'll light big bonfires on the beach, so we can carry on all night!" Clover said.

"An' miss Dotti can play the harecordion an' sing!" Puddinghead cried.

Brocktree pulled a face. "Don't you think we suffered enough in battle?"

Dotti stared severely at the badger, then broke out giggling. "Heeheehee, I'll sing an extra long ballad, just for you!"

Lord Brocktree laughed until the bandage on his brow slipped and fell over his eyes.

Suddenly Celestia cried, "Where's my sister?"

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Luna was exhausted. She had been chasing Doomeye all day. They were out of sight of Salamandastron now, somewhere in the North. The rat's tongue lolled from one side of his mouth as he looked over his shoulder at the distant figure of the avenging alicorn. Luna was standing still, a long distance away. The searat stopped as well, collapsing in a heap, his limbs wobbling and trembling uncontrollably. She tried to blast him with her horn, but he was too far away. Doomeye bared his strained fangs at the sky and laughed breathlessly.

"Haharrharr… Done it! Can't get me now, horsey… Outta yore range now… I escaped ye… horse!"

Just then the moon came up. New strength coursed through Luna's body. She was always more powerful at night. Luna looked at the searat, gauging the distance.

"Outran ye, horsey! I beat ye, didn't I?"

The blast of magic came like a thunderbolt out of the blue.

Luna flapped over to view her work of vengeance. Spread-eagled on the ground, the searat lay faceup. His eyes were wide open, staring at a moon that he would never see again.

Luna stopped for a moment, panting. In a minute, she would make her way back to Salamandastron and her sister and friends, but first she needed to rest.

Suddenly a lasso went over her neck. Before she could react, somebeast shoved a small bag over her horn.

A stoat emerged from behind a boulder, flanked by a rat and a fox. Luna knew they were not Ungatt Trunn's people, because they weren't blue.

"I wouldn't try anything," the stoat warned. "That bag is made of a reflective surface. If you try to blast us like you did that other rat, you'll only burn yourself."

He grabbed her by the mane and she tried to fight back but stoats are pretty strong and that is why you shouldn't ever trust one at all under any circumstances.

"You are coming with me, you dammed horse," the stoat swore really loudly and evilly because only evil people swear. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun with you at Marshank."

THE END

TO BE CONTINUED IN "MARTIN AND THE ALICORNS."