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Flappy

by Robot Pony

Chapter 1: Flappy


"Owlowiscious, you naughty bird!" Twilight ran through the house, weilding a butterfly net between her teeth. Her eyes were full of determination. Meanwhile, the owl gave a muffled hoot of mockery, flying close to the ceiling, a scroll between his beak.

"That's a very important letter to Princess Celestia!" Cried Twilight. "I need it back. Now!"

The bird landed on one of the rafters. Owlowiscious tipped his head back and began to gag as he attempted to swallow the scroll.

"Don't swallow it!" Twilight dropped the net and used the magic of her horn to snatch the scroll. This quickly became a game of tug-of-war, in which the owl seemed victorious.

Just then, Spike opened the door and waltzed inside, his chin held high, a huge smile on his face.

"Spike!" Twilight turned and gave the baby dragon a desperate look. "Thank goodness you're here. Owlowiscious took the letter I was going to have you send to Princess Celestia!"

The dragon waved a paw dismissively. "Call me Master Spike, Twilight. For I am the Master Tamer! Tamer of all creatures big and small!"

"That's great, Spike," Twilgiht replied quickly. "See if you can work your magic on Owl-"

Spike jumped aside, no longer blocking the doorway. "Ta-dah!" he cried, gesturing. A very tall, thin creature entered the house, wearing old faded shorts and one of Spike's hats. The creature had no fur; it was all fleshy and discolored; covered in bruises and scars. It opened it's mouth and moved its lips quickly, but no sound came out.

Twilight stopped what she was doing and put her attention on the new arrival. "Is this...?"

"That's right!" Spike cried. "Meet Flappy. He's my pet!"

"Flappy...?" Twilight stepped up to the furless animal and smiled. "Where did you find him?"

"Everfree Forest."

"Everfree Forest?" Twilight repeated with wide eyes. "Spike, what if this pet belongs to someone else?"

"How could it?" retorted Spike. "I found him, all alone, wandering in the Forest. How could I just leave him there? He needs me Twilight."

"But Spike-"

"Please Twilight? Please?"

Twilight sighed. The owl above them spat out the scroll, which hit Twilight on the head. "Look, I cant tell you what to do. I'm not your mother. But it is my opinion that you return Flappy to where he came from."

"Well, in my opinion, I should keep Flappy because he needs my protection." Spike smirked. "So there."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Fine." She bent down and picked up the scroll from the floor. "Can you at least send this to the Princess so I can cross it off my list?"

Spike took hold of the scroll and blew on it with a burst of green fire; the scroll vanished. "Come on Flappy!" Spike turned and walked out of the door, his pet following. "Let's go meet the others."

Flappy moved his mouth open and shut, open and shut, staring at Twilight. But she could not understand him.

...

Spike's next stop was Rarity's boutique. Rarity was arranging a collection of rubies on the hem of a dress when Spike walked in, his lanky pet following at his heels.

"Why hello, Spike dear." Rarity smiled, then stopped almost at once when she spotted the creature. "My word... What is that thing?"

"He's my pet!" Spike answered. "I caught him all on my own, too."

"You mean to say he isn't tame?" Rarirty lifted a hoof delicately.

"Oh he's tame all right." Spike said, then turned and hugged his pet around the knees (he couldnt reach the waistline). "See?"

"My..." Rarirty giving it some thought, she smiled and said, "Did you name this old chap, Spike?"

"His name is Flappy!"

"Dear me! Why would you give your pet such a name?" asked Rarity with a chuckle.

"Watch, I'll show you." Spike turned and looked up at Flappy. Flappy looked back. "Flappy, say hello!"

Flappy's lips moved consistantly, as if he had much more to say than a simple greeting. Yet no sound was made.

"See the way his lips flap up and down?" asked Spike. "That's why he's Flappy; he can't talk!"

"How dreadful!" Rarity said, passing a hand over her head for dramatic effect.

"Well, see you later Rarity!" Spike turned and started to leave. "I'm off to show the whole town my great new pet!"

"The whole town?" repeated Rarity. "Dressed like that? Oh no no no, Spikey Wikey. You must stay and let me stitch the two of you an outfit worthy of recognition."

"Huh? Oh. Okay." Spike shrugged, then walked back into the room. She climbed up onto a stage and let Rarity take her various measurements. He swooned the entire time, for she hummed to herself while she worked, sending Spike's heart fluttering.

Standing off to the side, Flappy was touching and grabbing and pulling at fabrics, streamers, measuring tape, and Opal's tail.

"Goodness, Spike! Can't you keep your pet in control?" Rarity asked after she finished her measurements.

"O-oh, sorry!" Spike ran over to Flappy, frowning hard. "Now look here, Flappy," he said quietly in a low voice. "I've got a good thing going with Rarity, and you better not spoil it! Just sit quietly and wait your turn."

Rarity was quick to work on Spike's outfit, knowing that the sooner she was finished, the sooner Spike's obnoxious pet would leave. Flappy continued to grab and throw things, as if he were having a tantrum, yet there was no expression in his face.

Spike finally had to say it; "He's just special, Rarity. He can't help it."

But Rarity knew a bad pet when she saw one. And Flappy needed to be punished. Yet, instead of punishment, he was hugged again and again by Spike, and given a fancy red sparkling uniform to wear. In other words; he was rewarded for his bad behaivor.

"There! You both look stunning." Rarity breathed hard, her patience worn thin, her workroom a terrific mess of color. "Goodbye now." Rarity pushed Flappy and Spike out of the house and closed the door.

"Ho ho! We look almost like kings, Flappy!" Spike looked at at himself in a water puddle on the street, his matching red sparkling clothes dazzling in the light. "Let's go visit Pinkie Pie! You'll like her."

It was then that Twilight appeared, holding a book out with her horn magic. "Oh there you two are! I've been looking all over for you. THose are some jazzy costumes."

"Costumes?" repeated Spike loudly. "These are not mere costumes, Twilight. These clothes were hand stitched by Rarity herself; every jewel hoof-picked with care..."

"Yeah yeah, I get it..." Twilight rolled her eyes. "I have found out what type of animal your pet is."

"You have?" Spike asked.

"Yes. According to this book, your pet is a human. They're very rare in Equestria; the last one spotted was seen over a hundred years ago."

"So he's a rare species. Who cares? He'll still always be Flappy to me."

"Spike," Twilight said softly. "I'm saying that this isn't natural. It was a mistake that you found him. Look," Twilight stepped over to the human and gestured with her hoof. "Lower your head please."

Flappy bent down and lowered his head. "Do you see that? He's bald, Spike. And those big scars across his head arent normal either. I think he's been through a lot of surgeries. Or... Experiments."

"Well now he can live a happy normal life with me." said Spike, turning his nose up. "Come on, Flappy." He marched off, Flappy following close behind like a lost sheep.

The ponies throughout the town watched in awe as Spike lead the tall lanky human through the streets. Some ponies left the shelter of their homes just to gaze at the creature.

Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetiebelle ran over and stopped Spike in his tracks.

"Excuse me, Spike," said Sweetiebelle. "What's that pet of yours called?"

Spike smiled impressively. "He's called a human."

"What's his name?" asked Scootaloo.

"Flappy."

The trio exchanged glances. "Where'd you find him?" asked Applebloom.

Spike nodded importantly. "I found him in Everfree Forest."

The group of young ponies turned and ran off, having all of their questions answered. They didn't stop running until they reached the outskirts of Everfree Forest.

"I want me one of them human critters!" said Applebloom.

"Me too." said Scootaloo. "I bet having a pet human is way more fun than having a pet cloud."

"Or a pet apple tree." said Applebloom.

"I have a pet butterfly!" said Sweetiebelle suddenly.

"You do?" gasped Scootaloo.

"Yeah. But then she flew away..."

"Focus girls," said Applebloom. "We're going in there and catchin' us a human. For we are...!"

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders!" they cried.

...

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