Hello, internet! Welcome back to Why So Serious? I would've had this chapter out yesterday, but some jerk decided to call me "a walking embodiment of everything wrong with fanfiction" and said I was hurting the site, yada yada yada. Well, if I really am hurting the site, then the site better suck it up and take it like a man, because I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Also, should that guest be reading this, my borderline ARMY of favers and followers would like to have a word with you. That being said, let's begin!

Chapter 2: Chasing Clowns

"Is this some kind of…"

The Joker smiled at Spike, "Some kind of what?"

Spike looked away, "Nothing."

Twilight felt nauseous. The way the Joker had talked of the slaughter, the way he had sounded so amused, the way his voice had dipped into disappointment at the mention of Vinyl Scratch's injuries. It was just… sickening.

"Y-you mentioned a car," Twilight composed herself, "where did you get a car when you said you didn't know where you were at the time?"

The Joker opened his mouth and closed it. A look of confusion came upon him, "I...I don't know…"

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Spike slammed a fist down on the table, "You don't just suddenly have a car without remembering where you got it!"

"I mean I don't know. It was right there when I woke up in this abandoned party favor factory, along with the rest of my toys," The Joker grinned. "Say… why are you two so interested in what I have to say, anyway? Hmm? How do you two fit into my little comedy tour? The detectives in charge of the investigation? Or are you fans?"

Twilight and Spike glanced at each other. "Well, yes, we-"

"Splendid!" The Joker tried to stick a hand down his shirt, "Where's my pen? I'll give you two some autographs!"

Twilight put a hand to the bridge of her nose, " We are the detectives in charge of investigating your 'comedy tour,' as you call it."

"Ooh! Let me guess, Major Crimes Unit?" The Joker howled with laughter when Twilight gave a tiny nod. "I knew a few good 'ol boys back home who worked in the MCU. If memory serves, they died in an exploding cell phone incident. Caused entirely by me, of course."

"Wait a minute," Spike piped up, "You told us earlier that you worked in some kind of factory. Now you're telling us that you've always been a criminal?"

"Did I say something like that?" The Joker shrugged, "Look, if I'm gonna have a past, I'd prefer it to be multiple choice. Maybe I was a white-collar worker, maybe I was a white-collar killer, I can't really remember back home too well…"

"And where is home exactly?" Twilight asked.

"I'm sure you've never heard of it, but it's a city pretty similar to this one. 'Gotham City', they call it. It's just off the coast of New Jersey, if memory serves, on the other side of the Gotham River." The Joker grinned with nostalgia.

Twilight scowled lightly. Everything the Joker was saying didn't have any sort of backing in her mind. It was like he was talking about…

Twilight thought of a mirror, and began to write furiously in her notebook.

After a few moments of silence, the Joker coughed, "So…"

Twilight looked up, and the Joker went on, "Am I still needed? Do I need to answer any questions about what I had for breakfast before I started my tour? Or perhaps I should drop my pants so you can hypothesize the origins of my craziness?"

Spike grabbed the Joker by the hair, "I'd prefer if you didn't talk to her like that."

"Oh! I get it now! So, you two are dating?" the Joker chuckled.

Spike growled, the scales on his face flattening slightly, "That's not-"

"I mean, you two do realize that a dragon and a...human-pony-hybrid can't... well, you know..."

"Let's keep focused here," said Twilight, unnerved and slightly disgusted, "You told us about your car, and trailed off at the altercation with the PPD. Would you mind elaborating on that?"

The Joker seemed to give it some thought."Depends," he finally said after a few moments.

"Depends on what?" asked Twilight.

"It depends on whether or not you're willing to share your side of the story with me. How exactly did you and lizard-lips over there get yourselves mixed up in my tour?" Joker smiled.

"That's none of your damn-" Spike began, trailing off at a dismissive gesture from Twilight.

"Very well, I'll tell you how we got involved with your 'tour,' but only after you tell us what happened during and after that car chase," Twilight put her pen to the notepad.

Joker heaved a sigh. "Fair enough, I suppose…"

…

"Damn cops are really persistent! And that is not funny," Joker growled to himself as the passengers in two of the eight cop cars that were on the tail of his "Joker-Mobile" began shooting at him, evidently playing for keeps. A devious smirk flashed across his face as he grabbed some kind of modified revolver from the passenger seat of his car. He rolled down the window, sticking his upper body out to face the cops.

"Let's get wild!" The Joker yelled as he opened fire, not too concerned about keeping his eyes on the road, or that he'd just ran down several ponies, including, but not limited to, a proposing boyfriend, a newly-minted hooker, and this one overweight teen cradling a video game to his chest as if it were a baby.

Whether Joker was actually aiming, or if it was simply very lucky shot, one of his bullets managed to hit and pop a tire. The Joker howled with laughter as the cruiser flipped, landing roof-first on a fire hydrant, the red cylinder impaling itself into the metal roof. The hydrant began spurting water through the various openings of the car as the officers sat limp in their seats. The Joker lost himself in laughter for a moment.

Suddenly, he lurched forward, cutting his back against the rim of his Lamborghini's window. He turned his head sharply, looking at the front of his vehicle. He began to chuckle as his vehicle crashed into a collection of construction equipment, flipping much like the police cruiser.

His world began to spin, his neck jerked back and forth uncomfortably, and his laughter rang into the night as he died-

…

"That's not what happened. You're right here." Spike growled.

"Trying to make the story more colorful."

…

His world began to spin, his neck jerked back and forth uncomfortably, and his laughter rang into the night as his Joker-Mobile landed on the pavement with a loud crash.

The following police cars stopped dead in their tracks, several officers exciting and holding pistols to the now-trashed car.

Suddenly, a series of screams erupted from the bright purple vehicle. A few officers ran to the wreck, looking inside.

"You alright?!" A young cop yelled into the wreck. His head suddenly exploded into a shower of red as the clown crawled out the other side of the vehicle, his pistol in his hand, and ducked down behind it. On his face was a look of despair.

"Step away from the vehicle and put your arms over your head!" An officer shouted.

The Joker faked a cry of anguish as he rubbed a hand over his trashed ride. He sobbed, "Baby! Baby! You've killed my baby!"

"I said move away from the vehicle and put your arms over your head!" the officer aimed his pistol at the Joker's head, down on the pavement next to his 'baby', "Do it now!"

Bawling loudly as he reached inside his coat, the Joker pulled out a match. In a quick flash of motion, he lit it on the pavement and threw it to his ride.

"Sayonara, soldier! Godspeed!" The Joker shouted, cackling like a madman. Several officers fired wildly as the match fell, some coming close, and some even impacting with a wet sound.

The police barely had time to run before the world was set ablaze, the Joker's car blowing into a maelstrom of twisted metal and blazing embers. Several officers were thrown to the ground or set ablaze, all losing track of the Joker, who was able to slip away in the midst of the chaos.

…

"The CPD reports that your trail ran cold for the next five months." Twilight scowled at the next line in her notes, "The story of the 'Crazy-Clown Man' would've been funny if you hadn't killed seven cops."

"What can I say?" The Joker shrugged mockingly, "I'm an overachiever."

"Five months. How did you not get arrested in that time?" Twilight cocked her head to the side, "The press was kept in the dark about everything that happened between then and now, but we've been keeping track of what you've done. A crusade against organized crime?"

"Of course!" The Joker suddenly shouted, "They are the lowest kind of criminal! No matter how organized they are, they only want material things, like money. They aren't fighting for a larger purpose. They're like animals feeding on roadkill. Existing, not living."

"You killed hundreds. Over half of them were just petty crooks, but a few were known crime bosses," said Twilight, looking over her notes. "Why? What are you trying to do? If they were just 'existing', why bother with them?"

"Why?" A wicked gleam came to Joker's eye "I couldn't help but notice that this place was a little short in the 'masked-vigilante-who-jumps-out-of-the-shadows-and-beats-up-useless-thugs' department, so I decided to fill the void."

Twilight and Spike looked at each other, clearly confused.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Spike.

The Joker just smiled smugly, "Ah-ah-ah, I answered your questions, now you answer mine."

"How we got involved?" Twilight seemed to sit up just a tad straighter, "Well, we are the PPD. If a criminal goes on a killing spree, it's our job to find that criminal and put him through the system."

The Joker started cackling, "So, you two are that kind of cop."

Spike scowled, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, the innocence of youth." The Joker sighed, mock-dreamily, "So idealistic. Sweetie, I think your notes are incomplete. At least half of my, er, victims were cops."

Twilight's eyes widened just a fraction, though her feelings were far more pronounced. "Cops? That's ridiculous. Equestria has a strict anti-corruption poli-"

The Joker laughed, before finally devolving into a few giggles, "Tell me, how long exactly have you two been on the force?"

"A couple of months" Spike cocked a brow.

"And no one's offered either of you a taste?" The Joker smiled knowingly.

"A taste? A taste of what?" asked Twilight.

"Money. Power. Influence. Security," explained Joker. "Every policeman wants to be kept safe, and they'll become die-hard sycophants just to get it. Half the crime lords in this city have police captains wrapped around their finger. Well, I suppose that number is more like a quarter now...

Twilight and Spike glanced at each other. Twilight spoke up, "We'll have to verify this information. To be honest, I'm inclined to believe that you're lying."

"Oh?"

Twilight stood, "Some people justify their crimes by some declaration of moral superiority. They say that they're doing a good deed, and that helps them sleep at night."

The Joker chuckled softly, "Dearie, I sleep like a baby at night, and I know exactly what I've done."

With that, Twilight and Spike gestured for the remaining guards to enter into the room.

"I think I have all that I need," Twilight told a guard as she looked to the clown, "I have an idea on who-or-what he might be. If I need anything else, I'll come straight here."

Twilight, accompanied by Spike, made for the door.

"Goodbye!" The Joker cried out, "We'll have lunch!"

The slam of the door might not have been entirely accidental.

And thus concludes this chapter. So, if you'd be so kind as to fav, follow, and review, that'd be great, and I'll see you guys next time!