Okay, time to pick up where we left off in the land of Equestria... somewhere that's not exactly Ponyville, but... oh, whatever. Let's see what happens next, shall we?

Derpy slowly walked along the path, her head hung low, ears angled down, and her mane and tail blowing in the light breeze.

"Why do these things have to happen to me...?" Derpy asked herself. "...I was just made for suffering, wasn't I?"

As she continued to walk, Derpy happened to spot a glint of light out of the edge of her peripheral vision. She looked to her left and noticed an object in the long grass off to the side of the path. Curious, she walked over to have a look. The object was a narrow, curved conical thing, which faded from charcoal-gray to scarlet at its point. It had quite a high level of luster, very sleek-looking. It looked like some sort of polished cut stone.

"Ooh..." Derpy said, lightening up from her sorrow a little bit. "...it's pretty."

She slowly reached out to pick it up, but as soon as she lightly touched it, the sunset-lit environment around her transformed into a dark landscape with the sound of a metallic bang. The sound of thousands of whispers filled the air.

Derpy looked around in shock.

The area behind her, she noticed, was being pulled into some sort of vortex. She tried to rush away, but it caught up to her. She expected to start falling, but she was simply turned onto her side and fell only two feet. The landscape was spiraling rapidly. She blinked briefly, and when she opened her eyes, she saw a blurred, reddened image of the Ponyville schoolhouse, where she saw her younger filly self a little distance away, surrounded by a group of other colts and fillies.

"Ha!" one filly whooped. "Ditzy's so clumsy that she can't even catch the ball that's thrown five feet away from her!"

Derpy stood back up as she watched the third-person flashback.

"Ditzy's eye's are all wrong!" a colt laughed at filly Derpy. "I bet her mother made her stupid!"

Filly Derpy cowered by hiding the lower half of her face with her hooves, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Ditzy is retarded! Ditzy is retarded!" all of the school ponies sang in unison as filly Derpy started crying uncontrollably.

Mare Derpy started hyperventilating as she began to run the other way. Immediately, she found herself in medieval Canterlot. She saw Princess Celestia banishing Nightmare Moon.

"NOOOOOOOOO...!" Nightmare Moon bellowed as she was engulfed in a field of light that was shot straight towards the moon.

Derpy shut her eyes tight.

"Derpy..." a deep voice suddenly said, sounding very distant.

Derpy opened her eyes to find herself on a cloud hovering a little ways underneath Cloudsdale. She saw a multicolored blur rush past her, straight downward. It was Rainbow Dash. After plunging for a little while, there suddenly came a deep boom, followed by an expanding circle of rainbow colors; the Sonic Rainboom.

Confused, and somewhat scared as to what could possibly be happening, Derpy hastily tried to fly away, but found that she suddenly couldn't move her wings, and started plunging.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Derpy called out.

Suddenly, she was caught, by none other than...

"Rainbow Dash!" Derpy said happily.

Rainbow Dash smiled at her. Derpy closed her eyes as a huge grin filled her face.

"Thank you for saving me! I don't know what's going on, but I—" Derpy stopped speaking as the area had changed yet again.

She was now being carried by, not a rainbow Pegasus, but by the current of a river in Everfree Forest. Looking behind her in the direction of the current, Derpy noticed she was heading right for a waterfall. She shrieked and tried to paddle away from it in panic to no avail. She fell a long way into a lake below, and was washed up on the bank.

Sitting up, Derpy noticed some Timberwolves surrounding her. They were growling and drooling. Derpy was frantically looking for any way to escape the Timberwolves before they could make a meal of her. Suddenly, floating behind the carnivorous creatures on some sort of rippling carpet was Zecora. But she had three pairs of forelegs stacked on top of each other, each one doing a different Medium-related activity.

"Driven out of your place, you are. All because you bear no lucky star." Zecora sang to a strange drumbeat coming from nowhere. "Derpy Hooves is a new exile, for she must now endure the cruel and vile..."

The Timberwolves closed in on Derpy, and she covered her face with her hooves in fear.

"Please!" Derpy shouted. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

Suddenly, everything was silent. Derpy opened her eyes, and found just an empty void.

"H-hello...?" Derpy said.

"Ah, a new hoof touches my horn." came a deep, masculine, godlike voice.

Derpy's eyes went wide. "Who... who are you?" she asked.

"Be not frightened, Derpy Hooves," the voice said. "I mean you no harm."

"...How do you know my name?" Derpy asked.

The voice chuckled a bit. "I have read your heart, Ditzy Doo..."

"Um, just 'Derpy' is fine..." Derpy said.

"...and I can tell that you are quite lost. Perhaps in more ways than one?" the voice said.

"Yes..." Derpy said sadly. "...everypony's mad at me, but it's worse than usual! Today was the worst day ever for me!"

"Indeed..." the voice said. "...and do you know why that could be?"

Derpy thought for a moment. "...Because I'm a loser?" she suggested as she hung her head down sadly.

"...Because you lack power." the voice answered. "It is only power through which ponykind has ever achieved any success. And that is why I intend to help you."

"Help me?" Derpy asked. "Why would anypony want to help me? They all think I'm worthless..." she felt a lump in her throat as she said this.

"But, under my guidance, I can give you the power that you could use to ultimately change your life for the better. Power to rival even that of Star Swirl the Bearded!" the voice said with great excitement.

"And... what would this power do to change my life?" Derpy asked.

"Well, if you were to use it correctly... you would never be miserable again." the voice stated. "And you are miserable, aren't you, Derpy?"

Derpy hung her head down. "Yeah, I am..." she briefly trailed off. "...okay, mister! I want to learn from you and get this power!"

"But there is a catch..." the voice interjected. "...in exchange for my knowledge, you will need to do exactly what I ask of you. My magic will be of aid to you in the tasks should they be too overwhelming for your own skills."

Derpy swallowed. "You want me to do things for you...?" she asked.

"Precisely." the voice answered. "Think of it as a new job... as I am well aware you have lost one not long ago. And the rewards will be much greater than mere Bits."

"Ooh! As in one million Bits!?" Derpy asked, excitedly.

"Even better than that..." the voice went on.

Derpy was starting to become overjoyed by the offer, which drowned out her depression from earlier in the day.

"Oh, I will do whatever you want!" Derpy said. "As long as it helps for things to go better for me, I'll do it!"

"...That's what I wanted to hear." the voice said, sounding very satisfied.

"So... who are you, anyway?" Derpy asked.

The voice paused for a moment before answering: "You may call me... Arbmos."

"Arbmos..." Derpy repeated. "...huh, weird name."

"And now, Derpy Hooves, take the horn that was once upon my head, and use it to my instruction. Only then shall it bring you the happiness you desire." Arbmos said.

"Your horn?" Derpy asked just before remembering the strange object she found. "Wait, that thing on the ground... was your horn?"

"Yes." Arbmos answered. "When I was still living in the mortal world, I was a Unicorn. My soul now exists in an ethereal state inside of the horn."

"Weird..." Derpy said.

"And now, Derpy..." Arbmos said. "...awaken!"

Derpy blinked repeatedly to find that she was back in the field at sunset, still standing in the same spot she had been for the past few minutes.

"Woah... that was really weird." Derpy said to herself.

"Ah, but we still have yet to begin, my dear." Arbmos said in Derpy's head.

"Huh? Arbmos?" Derpy said. "Where are you?"

"You need not look around, for I am simply speaking in your mind." Arbmos stated. "And now, it is time to put our plan forth. From this night onward, you shall not have to endure pain and suffering from anypony... so long as you do as I ask of you."

"Okay!" Derpy said. "Let's start this!"

"Place the flat end of my horn on the center of your forehead..." Arbmos instructed. "...and I shall have it merge with you to become part of your anatomy."

"Wait, wait, wait..." Derpy said. "...you're going to turn me into an Alicorn?"

"Yes, indeed I will." Arbmos said. "Only through Unicorn magic can you achieve the power you need to do this."

Derpy was excited yet again. She was going to have a horn! She could use magic! She would basically be a goddess compared to all other ponies.

"Okay!" Derpy said, lifting the disembodied horn, and putting in on her forehead.

"Now, be wary... this may cause a bit of a pain." Arbmos warned.

"Huh? What?" Derpy asked before suddenly the horn began to emit a bright light at its base.

Derpy began to hover a few feet above the ground. A burning hot sensation spread from her forehead throughout her body, growing more intense. It felt like a magnifying glass was focusing sunlight onto her forehead, burning it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Derpy cried.

After a few more moments, the horn's glow faded, and was now part of Derpy's skull.

Derpy Hooves was now an Alicorn.

She slowly drifted back down to the ground, where she lay unconscious from the intense magic that merged the Unicorn horn with her.

Well, things took quite a rapid turn for Derpy, huh? Anyways, there's a lot more directions this fic can go, but for now, we'll just leave it at this. Be sure to keep coming back to see where things can go! Keep holding on...