You guys know that I bully myself a lot, and some people interpret it as an attention-whore calling out. You know what? It kind of is. What am I saying? Of course it is.

I constantly put myself down quite a bit, and one of the reasons is that I just feel ugly. I mean, a lot of you have seen me in person through my livestreams. I'm not that good looking, right? But one of the things I'm most insecure about, probably the biggest thing...

My hunchback.

You guys probably have no clue about this, but I have a slight hunchback from leaning over so much. It's completely my fault, and I regret it every day. I look at myself in the mirror, and I just see myself hunched over. And I didn't even know it. I try to check myself when I walk, but I know I just look like a freak. i can only imagine how messed up I'll look as I get older.

Every time I look in the mirror, I see a freak.

Why am I sharing this with you? Good question. I just have nobody else to tell this to. Anybody else would probably just think I'm stupid for whining about something like this. Yeah... it is stupid. But whatever.

It's just something I'm extremely insecure about. It just makes me feel ugly, which is a horrible feeling.

To clarify, I'm not saying being ugly is bad. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everything has its own beauty in some way, you just have to look close enough. What I'm saying is that feeling ugly is absolutely awful, and eats your self-esteem alive.

This has just been a strange week, and I don't feel right. Also, I started writing Ch.2 of The Green Leaves of Everfree, and I can't help but feel like it's one of the worst things I've ever written. My plans for the story are happening too quickly with no real buildup since I have to follow the movie, and things move too fast when I paraphrase them. At the same time, I don't want to quote the entire movie, because it's boring for those who have seen it, and it's plagiarism.

I'm worried, and I don't want to disappoint you all.

That's what led to this post about calling myself and ugly hunchback.

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow. Or not. I don't know.