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The hall was longer than he remembered.

Golden sunlight from the unreachable outside world was awash in patches of brilliance here and there, sparkling in through the stained glass depictions of an entire history of monsters. It was a long and storied hall, and so still and silent that the dust particles in the air seemed afraid to touch for fear of breaking the unearthly silence. Nothing breathed, nothing moved.

But sometimes, it changed.

Sans had seen it.

Not just on the stained glass windows depicting the history of underground monsters, but with his own eye sockets. Sometimes, history just... changed. That's simply how it was.

Sans, a skeleton in a blue jumper, stood in shorts and his house slippers against one of the many shadowed columns, as still as the grave itself. He moved not a single inch, head straight toward the end of the hall where one might appear.

And for the longest time, nobody came.

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Twilight hummed a cheery tune, carefully making herself a lettuce and cheese sandwich. A couple of sizzling eggs floated in her magical grip as she layered each piece of toast lovingly with mayonnaise, hay, and a little sprig of wild onion. With one hoof she carefully flipped the finished eggs onto the plate, so that her breakfast was almost perfect, identical to Spike's; the only difference being that his looked almost like a smiling face, and was a little bit cooler and had no Spike near it whatsoever. The unicorn finally poured herself a cup of hot coffee, taking in a long, deep breath through her nostrils and letting the scent fill her as her smile grew.

The ground beneath her hooves began to rumble.

Then her kitchen exploded.

Splinters of glass and wood clouded the air as something large and blue blasted through her kitchen window, smashing directly into the table and continuing through it to the floor. Twilight barely had time to register the thing forcibly entering her home, let alone stop it, but she did manage to thankfully bring up a deflective violet shield bare milliseconds before the flying shrapnel made changing her facial expressions very, very unpleasant. She dropped the shield after ensuring that nothing else was about to fly through any more windows. The 'thing' in question was reasonably silent after having utterly demolished both her kitchen and breakfast, and it was then that Twilight finally realized that, after standing there staring with her mouth hanging open like a dolt, she was still hanging on to her somehow untouched cup of still steaming coffee.

Twilight cleared her mind and the air around her with a brush of magic, the dust thicker than she expected. The creature had left impact indents on the floor where it landed, though it was clearly long since dead, as the skeletal remains were still clinging to its odd blue garment. Twilight examined it with a single scan, then the window again.

How in Equestria...?

At the angle it landed, the creature could only have landed; or, rather, been ejected from, the morning sky at an incredible velocity. How exactly it managed to maintain the entirety of its skeleton without falling apart was beyond belief, almost as much as that it hadn't simply vaporized upon impact. Twilight mulled over such thoughts deeply as she paced around the remains of her potentially extraterrestrial 'visitor', slowly magically repairing the damage that it had done in the meantime. After most of the window had been replaced, she turned again to the unfortunate soul that had been, from the looks of it, blasted clean out of the sky. She wondered momentarily if the rest of it had burned away, but shook the ugly thought from her head. The ground rumbled once again, this one stronger than the last earthquake. It even rattled the bones of the thing (perhaps she should begin referring to it as a specimen and stop thinking about how painfully it must have died) enough to make it look as if it were stirring from beyond the grave.

Twilight shuddered a little, magically picking up the remains of the table and clearing away the debris around the 'specimen' and frowned, keeping one eye on it after the rattling died down. It was unnerving in every sense, having a corpse fall into her home, but it could have at least waited until after breakfast. Almost all of the pieces of the table had joined their brothers in Twilight's magical grip, only a few strays littering the floor now.

"Spike," Twilight called up the stairs. "Never mind about breakfast, it's been... canceled."

"What?" she heard the drake faintly from their shared bedroom. "Why? What did you break this time?"

"Spike," she responded with exasperation. "I didn't break anything, something just sort of... came up. Or, came down, rather."

"Just let me know when breakfast is ready, okay?"

Twilight threw up one hoof with an unsatisfied grunt, certain that the little purple dragon had no problems going back to lying in bed and reading his comics all day. She frowned as she attempted to move the specimen for study, already trying to think of some way to describe in detail to the princess how she wasn't utterly mad.

Then she realized that the specimen was gone.

Twilight blinked once, twice, then again and opened her mouth, but no words came out.

"*Pony."

Twilight froze stock still in shock, her whole mane bristling along the back of her neck.

"*Don't you know how to greet a new 'friend'? Turn around and shake my hand."

She swerved, ever so slowly, heart pounding so loudly that she could hear it in her ears. The skeletal figure was standing straight up with its head hanging down, one appendage outstretched in her direction in what have might seemed a greeting gesture were it literally anypony else. The thing wasn't moving though and she didn't trust herself to speak just yet, only slowly, carefully, cautiously prodding one hoof into his outstretched hand.

*Pfffffft.*

"Uh..."

"*Hehehe... the ol' whoopie cushion in the hand trick. That's always funny."

The thing's head bobbed up right away, revealing odd little eye-like lights in his sockets and a grin that was far too wide to be natural; in fact, he seemed to smile in spite of his visage being too large for his face, like he was trying to show off all of his teeth at once and somehow his bony cheeks were getting in the way.

"*Anyways, you're a pony, right? That's hilarious. I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton."

"You-you can talk," Twilight felt the ground beneath her shift as she struggled to accept the impossible situation. "You're speaking plain Equestrian. You can talk. You can talk."

"*Yeesh, you seem really hung up on the whole talking skeleton thing," the self proclaimed 'Sans' stuck his hands back into his still slightly crispy blue jacket pockets. Every jerky movement made her want to twitch. Watching the walking dead wasn't something that her brain seemed to want to comprehend, understandably. "*I can just stop talking and start staring awkwardly at you like you are at me, if you want. Is that a custom here or something? If so, it's cool. I'm great at staring contests."

"I-I don't even-" Twilight started, one hoof running down her face and stretching before she shook herself and forced her racing thoughts down so that she could focus. "You're dead. Whatever you are, you- I mean, you can't possibly- you aren't some... some... my breakfast," she breathed in half panicked confusion and half exasperation.

"*Oh. Yeah. About that," Sans shrugged bits of shrapnel off his shoulders and brushed away some dust from his jacket. "*Sorry about the whole 'crashing into your house' thing. I'll try not to do it again, promise."

Twilight once again found herself speechless, which was not something that she was accustomed to. She had an extensive vernacular for nearly every situation, prepared in at least some measures for any new tests life might have in store.

Alien skeletons, however, she was not prepared for.

She finally managed to clear her throat uneasily as they continued to simply stand there, and Twilight realized that she had been holding the remains of the table directly over the grinning (of course he was, it's what every skeleton does what are you thinking Twi) figure, and magically attempted to stick it back together safely on the ground.

"... I'm going to need something stronger than coffee for this, if you'll excuse me for just a moment," Twilight's voice came out quieter and shakier than she intended, but at least her vocal chords were responding to the situation at last. The skeleton only shrugged again and made himself comfortable in the chair opposite her as she, without taking her eyes off of him for an instant should he vanish, reached far back into her kitchen supplies and retrieved the gifted bottle of Granny Smith's best cider.

"... You're a skeleton."

"*Yikes," his odd sounding chuckle ringing in her ears as he helped himself to the still steaming remains of one of her sandwiches. "*You really are still hung up on that. Are ya' feeling alright, kid? Did you hit your head or something?"

"Did I hit my head?" the unicorn asked in disbelief betwixt strong swigs of the throat burning cider. "How are you even in one piece after that kind of impact?" she asked, noting the cracks in the floor that he had left. "How... what are- how do you even function?"

"*I have a job, if that's what you mean," he shrugged carelessly as he crossed his feet over and onto the table, one slipper missing and exposing his bony foot. "*Don't get worked up about that too though, it's only part time. Gotta have some time to chill, y'know?"

Twilight finished off the bottle before he had even finished speaking, and reached for the next with wide eyes.

"I-I'm not sure how to even process all this," she admitted finally after reaching her halfway mark into the amber liquid. "You're dead. You should be dead, are dead, and are still- how are you even eating?" Twilight blurted, staring as he paused mid-bite into her sandwich.

He looked down at his somehow rotund stomach and patted it twice before unzipping his jacket, revealing nothing but ribs before zipping it back up.

"*Beats me. Everybody gets hungry sometimes, I guess."

Twilight clapped her hooves to her eyes, heavily setting down the bottle on the counter and taking a long, deep breath.

Okay. Okay. Easy, girl. Deep breaths. Don't think about it too hard. Like dealing with Pinkie Pie.

Thinking of the unconcerned skeleton in that manner didn't help much, but it was something. There were some things that Pinkie Pie did on occasion that were simply out of her capacity to scientifically or rationally explain, which half the time she simply chalked up to earth pony magic, which her friend must have had by the barrel-full.

Sans heard the unicorn mutter something dark about wasted potential before taking another long breath.

"Okay," she shook her head, mane cleared from her eyes and newfound determination sparkling in them. "I'm sorry. I-I really should probably apologize as well. Whatever you are, you're alive... somehow. Are you alright?"

"*... Could have been anything else."

"Come again?"

"*Maybe another time. But you could have said literally anything else," Sans had finished up with the sandwich and was looking much better for having eaten. "*What are you doing here comes to mind. Why did you destroy my house. Where did you come from. Why are you here. I'm not all that happy to be here, myself, but at least it's something new."

"Uh..."

"*But, no," he beamed up at her with surprising cheerfulness on his face. "*You had to know if I'm alright. And y'know what, kid? I think I am. I'm pretty okay, and I think you are, too."

"I- well, er, what I mean to say is – I don't really know what I mean to say," Twilight threw up one hoof eventually. "Thank you...? But I have..."

She blew out her cheeks, running one hoof through her messy mane.

"I have so many questions right now."

"*Well, I should think so," he chuckled again. "*I'm nice and comfy in my 'smoking' jacket," he dusted off a bit of char from his burned blue coat, his grin somehow growing wider. "*Tell you what, kid. I've got... one or two questions as well, so how about we take turns asking? You can even go first. Aren't I a generous guy?"

Twilight swallowed, nodded and shakily took her own seat opposite the skeleton. She'd barely had time to open her mouth before she heard Spike calling down the stairs.

"Hey, Twilight, is breakfast finally ready?"

Sans fought back a chortle watching the unicorn facepalm (facehoof?) and sigh.

"That would be Spike," she said almost apologetically. "I can't say I'm surprised he's more interested in food than asking about a couple of earthquakes or kitchen-demolishing skeletons."

"*Aw, it's not that bad," he gestured around the clearly destroyed (and in some places, still charred) places around the kitchen. Bits of wood and glass stuck out of the wall, one fork with a bit of hay bacon jammed nearly halfway through. "*Definitely could have been worse – hold on, did you say two earthquakes?"

"Er... yes?" Twilight struggled to pour herself a cup of coffee her hooves were still shaking so hard. "I assumed that they had something to do with you, considering... well, everything. But I have to know-"

"*Unless you wanna have a bad time...you need to run."

Twilight balked at him and shook herself. She could have sworn that for just a moment his eye sockets had gone completely empty, and it was... disturbing, to say the least.

"What?" she managed to spit out. "What do you mean?"

"*I mean that now isn't the time to chat over tea- err, coffee," Sans stood promptly, the scraping of bone on chair a highly unpleasant noise. "*I've been followed, and if you want to so much as stay alive, if you even value your continued existence, you need to take everyone that you care about, right now, and do the smart thing. Run."

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Author's Note:

Beware of the man who speaks in hands.

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"*Trust me on this one, kid," Sans was quick to pull his coat a little tighter to himself. "*You don't wanna be around for this."

"Around for what?" Twilight followed him to the door. "What are you talking about? I need to know at least who I'm supposed to be running away from!"

"*You're better off not knowing," Sans frowned, which Twilight would have previously sworn that skeletons could most certainly not do. "*Happier, too. Just grab who you can and make a break for it."

Instead of doing as he suggested, he found Twilight instead with her head lowered and horn pointed directly at him, nostrils flaring as she blocked the door.

"Not a chance in Tartarus are you pulling that on me," she scoffed. "If there's a danger to my friends or family, I'm not just going to run with my tail between my legs and hope for the best. Besides, I still have a LOT of questions that need answers."

Sans almost physically brushed her out of his way, but paused for a moment before slowly, slowly placing his hands back into his pockets and staring down at his feet, which had somehow miraculously procured his missing slipper.

"... What's so funny?" Twilight's brows furrowed, a little insulted.

"*Nothing," chuckled the skeleton. "*You just... really reminded me of a very good friend."

"Would you tell them to run away when they tried to protect their friends, too?"

Sans froze.

There were a great deal of things that Sans did. He made the occasional fart joke. He slept in late and showed up late, usually to do more sleeping. He even tried his hand at cooking once.

What he did not do, however, was freeze.

Something inside him was unnerved by her reserved but defiant expression, and more than that – the fact that he had frozen at all was upsetting. His fists were clenched tightly into little white balls, and he had to consciously release his grip.

"*... Guess there's no point," he shrugged with a weak grin afterwards, though they both still seemed tense. "*I can't say no to a face like that, anyway."

Twilight did not blush, per se, but her neck and ears did grow quite a few shades darker.

"Good," Twilight let out a breath that she didn't know that she had been holding. "Now, just tell me what's going on and I'll take care of the rest."

"*Doesn't work like that, kid," Sans crossed his arms. "I couldn't and wouldn't make you carry a burden like that all on your lonesome."

"Gee, I'm flattered," she deadpanned, "but if anyone dangerous is showing up in Ponyville, somewhat like you if I'm guessing correctly, then I'm going to defend these ponies with everything I've got."

"*Look, kid..." Sans knelt down a little, just below her head height, as if to explain something difficult to a small child, which seemed to infuriate Twilight more than he had thought possible. "*I can't stand here and argue with you all night. You seem pretty determined, I'll give you that, but you can't possibly stop what's coming. Trust me, I've tried. Oh, god help me I've tried."

"I don't understand," Twilight's frown etched into her face grew.

"*I don't expect you to unde-"

"No, I mean I don't understand what you meant. It's still morning..."

Sans and Twilight's simultaneous reaction to realizing just how dark it had become were mixed, to put it politely. Twilight, in her boundless curiosity, yanked open the door without warning to discover why the sun had apparently set far too early. Sans, on the other hand, barely managed to tackle her to the ground before she could move more than a foot away.

"What are you d-?!"

There was a slight hum that Twilight's ears barely managed to pick up, as if they were a little too high and low pitched to hear properly at the same time.

Then her living room exploded.

Her tree/house seemed to be doing that a lot more frequently than usual.

She hardly had time to register what had happened, eyes flailing around madly at the source of the explosion as she scrambled to stand, jerking and kicking her way out of the skeleton's surprisingly strong grip.

A tall figure greeted her in her doorway where her door had once stood.

Too tall.

It was thin, and there was a level of darkness that wrapped around him in a way that was mesmerizing to Twilight. It dripped from him in little rivulets and streams and flowed upward in defiance of all logic only to disappear behind him, around him, inside of him. A pale white shirt looked to be growing up from inside to cover his throat, wrapping around his neck so tightly that it looked to be a grim porcelain noose. The black cloaked figure stood taller than even Discord stretching to full length from head to draconequian tail, only revealing a cracked white bony face with empty sockets staring down at her with a severely unnatural smile that reminded her of a clown's painted on face, and a single skeletal hand emerging from the liquid black lab coat with a perfectly circular hole through the palm emerging from the depths of his coat.

Said hand was facing palm up directly at Twilight's face.

"*DOWN!"

Another ground shaking blast rippled in pure black force as it burst out from the hole in his hand, tearing and boiling the air above her as she dropped and singing bits of her mane clean off. The rest of her house, however, was not so fortunate. The blast ripped straight through the perfectly alphabetized bookshelves, through the wall, continuing through until it cut a swath a horse's breadth wide deep into the ground outside.

"*I told you to run!" Sans harrumphed at her, though it was the first time she heard what sounded an awful lot like genuine panic in his voice. Twilight managed to make it a full step before another gigantic blast of energy erupted from the too tall figure's palm, Sans's outstretched hand bathed in blue light-

However, instead of an utterly decimated pony like he had feared, Twilight stood behind a tall magically glowing shield wall that was colored a couple of shades lighter than her. Granted, there were also skid marks on the floor where she'd been digging in her hooves for three or four feet, but still, Sans was mildly impressed.

"*'sup G?" Sans was standing beside Twilight before she knew it. She hadn't even seen him move at all, just how fast was he...?

Hello again, Sans.

Twilight shuddered immediately upon hearing the thing 'talk'. It's brightly glowing yellow and blue eyes flickered back and forth with an intensity that made her flesh prickle unpleasantly, and his mouth didn't even move, again reminding her more of a painting of a grimace onto a mask rather than a face itself.

Why do you look so surprised?

She didn't so much hear his voice as she did feel it reverberate inside her head, like the noise was coming from behind her eardrums. It made her want to scratch them for some mad reason, but she forced herself to stay on guard should the intruder launch another attack. Twilight took what time she could muster to glimpse through the windows, and even the space where he had torn a hole straight through her wall was black; blacker than anything that she had ever seen, the same abyssal darkness that the too tall figure was surrounded in.

"*Now's not really a good time, G," Sans said casually, one arm outstretched in front of Twilight, though whether it was a defensive gesture or to keep her from moving toward him was unknown.

Come now, boy. When have you ever known time of all things to stop me?

"Whatever you a-are," Twilight took a quavering step forward, violet glow alighting the top of her horn. "If you're here to hurt my friends, you're going to have to go through me first."

Her voice sounded hollow and tinny in her ears, and she didn't feel a fraction of the bravery she spoke, but she stood her ground.

The figure only stared.

... Interesting.

"*Come on, G..." Sans clasped his hands together, almost pleadingly. "*This isn't the time or place."

Oh, but my child, the sweeping figure almost slithered into the room, growing taller and taller until his head almost bumped the ceiling, and he was still slouched over to shine his plastic smile down on them. Time and space is my specialty. Now come along with me. Your cooperation would be... most appreciated.

"Back off!"

A whizzing bolt of purple energy seared through the air from the tip of Twilight's horn, blasting through-

Nothing.

One moment the tall figure had been there, and the next he simply wasn't. Twilight stared at the spot he had been in confusion, only to feel a strong push from her side as another enormous blast of the heavy black energy erupted from the ground beneath her. Had it not been for the phantom shove, she likely would have been incinerated, and still Sans was nowhere to be seen in the darkness...

"*There's the opening," she heard Sans at her left ear and nearly jumped out of her skin, looking up as he pointed at the wall 'G' had blasted a hole through. "*Make a break for it while you can, alright?"

"Not a chance," Twilight huffed angrily, scanning visually and magically for any sign of the intruder. "He broke into my home and tried to hurt us both, this jerk has got it coming."

"*I... don't mean to alarm you or anything," Sans said after a beat, "*But I can't actually... beat this guy."

"That's why I'm helping-" Twilight started, only for the skeleton to shake his head sadly.

"*Let me rephrase that. NOBODY can beat this guy," the face peeled itself out from the inky black darkness covering the walls, the rest of his unearthly body following him. "*He's sort of what you would call, uh... a 'god'."

Twilight took one long, firm look at the skeleton before frowning, evening her stance and lighting up her horn again.

Still defiant? Why do you fight? the smile almost seemed natural, but everything about the creature gliding over the floor toward them was anything but. Are you truly so despondent and suicidal?

"You aren't the first 'god' I've put in their place," Twilight's eyes were narrowed sharply. "I'm giving you one opportunity to cease fire, and one chance only. Leave peacefully, or leave in pieces.

The too tall man did something both unexpected and wholly disturbing.

He laughed.

It wasn't a sound like anything she had ever heard before, or ever wanted to hear again. She could hear it inside her head, feel it crawling like spiders over her back. Twilight had to fight to keep from shuddering again, eyes focused solely on her attacker.

Poor, deluded children. What have your poor little heads been filled with? Do you even know why I am here?

"*Guess you wanna be in for the long haul, huh, kid?" Sans asked quietly, but the tall figure tilted his head as if he could hear every word.

"I'd like to have an inkling of what's going on in my own house."

My apologies. How rude of me, the tall figure swept up a disembodied hand from behind his too black cloak and pulled into a sort of crouched bow. You may call me... Gaster. Doctor Gaster.

"Twilight Sparkle," the unicorn nodded, noting that Sans was ever so slowly inching toward the opening in the wall. "Now get the buck out of my house."

Sans.

The skeleton froze for the second time that day, eye sockets wide.

"*... How many times have we done this song and dance, Gaster?" Sans breathed, but still somehow managed to make himself heard. "*How long are you going to keep this up?"

How many are going to have to die before you accept judgment for your sins?

"... Sans," Twilight said slowly, turning toward the uncomfortable skeleton. "What exactly is this... person talking about? What's going on? Are you under a bounty of some sort?"

"*Kid, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Granted, I might tell you if you ask, but, uh... please don't ask."

Let me put it this way, Gaster slid between the two faster than either of them could blink, whining blasts of energy erupting from both of his hands in opposite directions with a squealing, burning glee, forcing them both back on the defensive with Twilight behind her steadily draining shield and Sans's nimble dodging. I'm trying to stop a very bad man from hurting a lot of people.

"*... Is that some kind of sick joke?" Sans was sweating heavily, though how Twilight had no idea. "*You always had an awful sense of humor. I guess you could say you're... kinda killing me."

Gaster and Twilight both gave him equally blank stares.

Sans shrugged.

"*Worth a shot, nyeh?"

Oh, one or three.

Sizzling energy ripped down from the ceiling like smashing columns into the ground, one after another after Sans – one, two, three, each one closer than the last each time he leaped back and forth, each a little closer to tearing him apart.

The violet lance of pure energy piercing directly through Dr. Gaster's chest was unexpected. He touched the tip of it with one bone finger before glancing with another empty smile back at Twilight.

... Interesting. Very interesting. I love your new project, Sans.

And then he was simply... gone.

"Is... is it over?" Twilight heaved, mane matted from sweat from all the effort of fending off the humanoid assailant.

"*Not until the fat skeleton sings," Sans was beside her yet again before she could even register it. Just how was he so fast? "*He'll be back. I know he will."

The sun was shining in through the window again, as if the dark cloudy blackness had never been engulfing her home at all. It didn't help with her labored breathing or skipping heartbeats. It also didn't help with her second destroyed room in the same morning, but she wasn't feeling all up to complaining about it. Were it not for a quick grab beneath her leg, she'd have simply collapsed to the ground. He helped her to half of the sofa, as the other half had been incinerated, but she didn't seem to care about that either before wordlessly passing out.

The last thing that she saw before unconsciousness pulled her down was a tall figure in the doorway standing with a too wide smile, an unmoving drake held afloat in one hand before the whole world went dark.

"*... Boy is that kid gonna be mad when she wakes up."

Sans pinched somewhere a bridge of a nose might have been on his face, if he had a nose. He stood over her for a few moments, hands deep in his pockets before he dusted his jacket off a little.

He was startled by the shout of a loud draconequus standing huffing and puffing in the doorway.

"I heard chaos," he screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHY WASN'T I INVITED?!"

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