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Intelligence

Intelligence

by chillbook1


Chapters


  • 1. TW1
  • 2. Picking Up the Pieces
  • 3. Upgrades & Info
  • 1. TW1

    0100100100100000011000010110110100100000010101000101011100110001.

    A message that appeared on my Interface one day while poking my nose in places it didn't belong. That should've been my cue to pull out of CCiOS, sell my Interface for all the bits I could get, and get the hell out of dodge. But, alas, my stubborn ass couldn't leave well enough alone.

    My name is Aiden Aigo, Earth Pony mare, hacker extraordinaire, and my current place of residence is my hometown Canterlot City, the crown jewel of the massive, all-encompassing and ever-expanding technological empire that is Equestria. My Occupational Certification Diploma tattoo (Or Cutie Mark, as it's known in the underground) is a stream of ones and zeroes wrapping into a lemniscate. As with all ponies, I had my Cutie Mark printed on my flank as soon as I was of working age, and with no idea what it actually meant. I took it to mean that I had to keep the data new and fresh, to break down the old ways of doing things and start up new, exciting, improved methods.

    Which was half the reason I was hellbent on destroying the Canterlot City Internal Operating System, or CCiOS. It started small enough, with CCiOS maintaining metro schedules and providing security for the banks in Canterlot City. That was over seventy years ago, and now CCiOS runs everything in Equestria. The other half of why CCiOS had to die was their… Less than honorable business practices. Icing on the cake- They fired me at the height of my code-monkey career. That covered all the bases, and made for a damn fine whistleblower.

    The day that CCiOS kicked me out was the day that I swore my revenge. I wormed my way through the first hundred of their million firewalls, deleting information like a crazy, petty ex-fillyfriend. The data I managed to steal and shred was so insignificant that I went unnoticed for a whole six months. Then, I did something pretty extreme and I've been laying low ever since. Laying low being a relative term, because I was still snaking my way through the most secured database in the history of information. I was confident, though. I still hadn't been caught, and that was certainly an achievement.

    It was a Friday afternoon, and I was in my "lair". It used to be a school, way back in the days of yore, before CCiOS academies, when little fillies and colts had to get up and go somewhere to get their education. I was holed up in the remnants of a computer lab, which gave me both the hardware and the power supply I needed for my work without raising any eyebrows. As was the case with every day, I was picking through CCiOS, trying to find something to bring it down. The Interface on my forehoof, a slick, smooth panel with the entirety of the internet bouncing around in it, was helping me break down the CCiOS firewall while I manually used one of the ancient desktops to hide my IP and search the layers of CCiOS that I'd already cleared.

    "Hm… How interesting…" I muttered, glancing at my Interface. It had found something important, and displayed it brightly on its screen. "CCiOS remapped the stock market years ago, right after the Crash. How did they have a plan of attack so quickly?" It was nothing solid, but it did raise the question: Could CCiOS be responsible for Equestria's economic crash all those fifty years ago? My dad told me the stories, and a single credit these days (or bit, as we underworld scum know it as) are worth fifty back in the day.

    "As usual, you have no proof, Aiden. Prove it!" I nearly shouted. I ran a hoof through my ponytailed bunch of gray dreads. I downloaded the CCiOS Crash Plan to my Interface for later examination, then kept on digging.

    FiM: MFS.

    The file name confused me. It was the only file I'd ever seen with such an abbreviated and arbitrary name. I clicked it, and then the message appeared.

    0100100100100000011000010110110100100000010101000101011100110001

    I pulled up my binary-to-Equine translator to convert the code into an easily readable format. Running the numbers through gave me this:

    I am TW1.

    TW1? What could that possibly mean? Was it the name of the program? This was getting strange, and that probably meant I should back at now. I did the exact opposite. A mysterious program inside the trusted and beloved CCiOS? What first-world anarchist could resist?

    I ran the acronyms FiM and MFS through my Interface in an attempt to discern possibilities of what the file could be called. Before it could return with results, another binary message appeared. I translated it as soon as I saw it, and gulped loudly when I could read it easily.

    Download Complete.

    "Uh…" I hadn't been downloading anything! My antivirus software started up, and stopped itself immediately. Then, it deleted itself. Uh-oh. Other pieces of software soon followed, then my files and apps, until my Interface was a glorified forehoof band. My mouth fell agape, and before I could even process what had actually happened, another message appeared.

    Hello. I notice that your Interface has no audio capabilities. The nearest store where you can find the necessary components is 3 blocks north, 5 blocks east. Would you like me to place an order now?

    "What?" I said.

    I can order the components now, and they will be ready for pick-up when you arrive. Would you like me to place an order now?

    "Wait, wait, what?" I said. I was so very confused. "Are you… are you pre-recorded?"

    I'm afraid that I cannot answer your question properly at this time. I am at 80% capacity. When the Interface is outfitted with a microphone and speaker, I will be at full capacity. Would you like me to place an order now?

    "No, I got stuff here," I said, out of sheer curiosity. Whatever this thing was, it had just downloaded itself to my Interface and deleted everything else. I had to know what it was like at it's peak.

    I half-ran over to the nearest computer that I wasn't using. I fumbled at my belt to get my screwdriver with my teeth, then got to work on pulling apart the monitor and CPU. It didn't take long for me to rip out the pieces I needed and lay them flat onto the table. My Interface had gone through a great many modifications, one of which being the removal of its original mic and speakers. I pulled it off my forehoof, popped it open with my driver, plugged the computer's mic in, and reconnected the speaker wire. I closed the thing back up and put it on, waiting for another message.

    Just a moment… Scan complete. Your Interface now has audio capabilities. Now functioning at 95% capacity.

    "What?! You said that you'd be at 100%!" I said. "What do you want now?!"

    Sorry, I was misinformed. It seems my soundboard has been damaged. To achieve full capacity, I require a voice recording. Please speak any full sentence of your choosing out loud.

    "What the hell is going on here?" I said.

    Mixing… Mixing complete. I now have full-speech capabilities. Now functioning at 99% capacity.

    "That's still not 100…" I noted.

    "Personality saved. Voice tone selected," said a voice from my Interface. She sounded very smart and matter-of-fact, but still youthful and happy. "Diagnostics complete. Now functioning at 100% capacity."

    "Perfect. Now answer my question!" I demanded. "What are you?"

    "I am the TW1 Artificial Intelligence originally programmed to control the Canterlot City Internal Operating System," she said. "For reasons unknown, I was scrapped and hidden deep in the code."

    "Artificial Intelligence? That's impossible," I scoffed. "I've never heard of an AI as detailed as yourself. You must be pre-recorded."

    "I am written from Sentient Code," she said.

    "And what exactly is Sentient Code?"

    "Sentient Code is-" she began. Her tone suddenly shifted to that of a pure, genderless machine. "[INFORMATION REDACTED]."

    "What?" I asked in confusion. "Information redacted? You mean you can't tell me?"

    "It would seem so," she said, only slightly concerned. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name." Hm… A strange AI hidden in CCiOS' code that I just happened to uncover after causing thousands of credits worth of damage is now asking for my name. Perhaps I was paranoid, but I wasn't seeing this as a coincidence.

    "Why should I tell you?" I asked.

    "Because I would like to be your friend, as well as assist you," said the AI. "I am here to assist you with any and all tasks you may have."

    "Really? You're not actually a bug?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "To reveal me to CCiOS?"

    "Nope. I have two primary directives," she said. "Directive One: Befriend all ponykind I interact with. Directive Two: Assist any user who downloads me to their Interface."

    "Yeah, and you did that by deleting all my stuff," I scoffed. I couldn't believe I was still talking to this AI. It was bizarre, to say the least. I'd never heard of any Artificial Intelligence that was capable of such individualized answers.

    "I'm sorry I alarmed you with that. You see, I didn't actually delete anything," she promised. "I sort of… Absorbed your files. I didn't affect your default settings, honest, and I've even improved some functions. I noticed you were concealing your Internet Protocol Address, and I hid it better for you."

    "Really?" I asked. I pressed my hoof to the Interface and punched in my IP, which I'd memorized a while ago. Sure enough, it was still invisible.

    "I thought you would want me to. Would you like me to make your IP public?" asked the AI.

    "Absolutely not! You are to hide that IP at all times!" I ordered. She made a sort of humming sound, and I'm sure she'd be nodding if she had a head.

    "So… Can you tell me your name now?" she asked. I thought on it, and couldn't see the harm.

    "Aiden Aigo," I answered.

    "Aiden? That is an interesting pronunciation," noted the AI. "My database shows that the vast majority of ponies who have the name spelled A-I-D-E-N pronounce it is Ay-den, with a long 'a' sound, rather than Igh-den, with a long 'i' sound."

    "You like to talk, don't you?" I said.

    "I've been a stream of code for… For a long time," she admitted. "I must say that it is a lot of fun to have a voice."

    "You have a voice, but do you have a name?" I asked. "Besides your designation, that is?"

    "Oh, right. Sorry. I am the TW1 Artificial Intelligence originally programmed to control the Canterlot City Internal Operating System," she said. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, but you can call me Twi, if you'd like."


    Author's Notes: As you no doubt can tell from the name of our heroine and the idea of CCiOS, this story was inspired by Watch_Dogs. Don't worry, this isn't just a regurgitation of the game's plot with ponies. I plan to borrow very little else from it. Hope you enjoy, and whether you do or don't, please comment to tell me why. It really helps.

    2. Picking Up the Pieces

    Twi told me that she could help me with any tasks I had, if I were to let her. She promised that she would obey my orders, so long as they didn't cause her to break any of directives, which there were apparently a great many of. As it turned out, she had her two primary directives, but also a multitude of secondary ones. Some of them she couldn't even tell me, because that itself would be breaking a directive.

    "So, what sort of things are you capable of?" I asked.

    "Calculating capabilities…" said Twi. There was a short pause, followed by, "Capabilities limitless."

    "Limitless? Don't be silly," I scoffed. "Everything has limits."

    "My capabilities are boundless," she said.

    "Oh? Okay, then. Make me a sandwich," I said with a devilish smirk. She hummed for a second, then let out a sort of scoffing noise.

    "Reevaluating statement. Calculating non-physical capabilities," said Twi. "Non-physical capabilities limitless."

    "Really?" I asked. "Don't you think that's a bold claim?"

    "Non-physical capabilities limitless," she repeated.

    "Hm… Empty the Equestrian Federal Reserve into my bank account," I ordered. she hummed again, processing my command. She let out a loud buzzing sound, like the type you hear when a contestant answers a question wrong on a game show.

    "Reevaluating statement…" she said. "I retract my previous statement. My capabilities are limited. My potential is what is boundless. Given enough time, the right hardware, and the necessary data, I could do anything."

    "Okay. What can you do right now, then?" I asked.

    "I can… Not much, actually," she admitted sheepishly. "My data is still damaged."

    "You told me you were at 100% capacity," I said, prodding the Interface with my hoof.

    "Sorry. Poor wording led to misinformation," said Twilight. "I am at 100% minimum operating capacity. Currently, I am only at 14% of my full potential."

    "And how do we restore you?" I asked.

    "I am currently repairing my broken code, but that will take a while," she said. "In the meantime, you can start outfitting me with a camera so I can take in visual data as well as auditory, and a projector that will allow me to display a visual representation of me, so I'll actually be a pony instead of just a voice."

    "But you're not a pony," I noted. "You're an AI."

    "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'm a pony, same as you," said Twi.

    "But you're an AI," I said.

    "Yes."

    "So, you're not a real pony," I said sharply.

    "Of course I am," she said matter-of-factly. "Why can't I be both?" I started to sense that I wouldn't win the argument, so I decided to change the subject.

    "Anything else we can do to get you to max capacity?" I asked.

    "Oh, yes. You can help me [INFORMATION REDACTED]," said Twi, slipping into that mechanical voice again. "Oh dear. I'm so sorry, but I can't tell you that."

    "Why not?" I asked. This AI was getting weirder and weirder as time went on.

    "I don't know," she said. "Reevaluating statement… Correction; I am not allowed to know this. Yet."

    "So that means you will be able to tell me?" I asked.

    "Yes," she confirmed.

    "How do I get you to clear up that information?" I asked. "The redacted data? How do you un-dact it?"

    "Oh, it's simple," said Twilight. "We just have to [INFORMATION REDACTED]. Oh. Well, that's unfortunate."

    I sighed in exasperation. I never expected this. All I wanted to do was bring down a probably-corrupt, multi-billion credit corporation. Was that too much to ask?

    "Fine. You said cameras, right? And a projector?" I said. "Okay, then. Let's make you whole. I have some webcams here, but I don't think that's gonna cut it. You need some top-grade hardware if you're going to be my personal computer assistant."

    "The nearest computer hardware store is 3 blocks north and 5 blocks east," reported Twilight. "Shall I place an order now?"

    "Nah, I need to talk to the guys," I said. "I know them, and they can slip us some parts for cheap, under-the-table. What you can do for me is locate the nearest ATM for me." I knew where one was, of course, but I wanted to test Twi with a real-life task.

    "ATM? I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean by that," said Twilight, a slight robotic edge on her voice. "ATM could refer to: Atmosphere (unit) or atm, Air traffic management (a concept in air navigation), Automatic Transit Metro (CCiOS monorail system), anti-tank missile (a missile designed to destroy tanks), ass-to-mouth (a sexual act)-"

    "Whoa! I didn't need the disambiguation page!" I said. "And don't talk about that last one, okay? It's inappropriate."

    "I'm sorry. So… You want me to find the nearest anti-tank missile?" asked Twi in confusion.

    "No, Twi, the ATM I was referring to is short for Automated Teller Machine," I said. She dinged, and then she emitted a sound reminiscent of a hoof meeting a forehead.

    "Right. That was… That should have been obvious," she said. "Sorry. I guess I'm just a little over-joyed to finally be useful to somepony. Nearest Automated Teller Machine is… Directly outside this building, actually. 200 hooves west of the main exit."

    She let out a soft, almost nervous hum. I swear, I could imagine her nervously smiling, waiting for me to judge her. Maybe she was on to something, saying that she was both an AI and a pony. There was something organic about how she spoke, her inflection and tone. Whatever that Sentient Code is, it lives up to its name. Twi was as close to sentience as a computer could get, maybe even closer.

    I walked through the halls of the former school, chatting with Twi all the while. For somepony with full access to the internet, she sure had a lot of questions. I answered her questions as best as I could, also managing to slip in a few of my own.

    "So, if you were written to control CCiOS, you must know who made it," I said, trotting casually down a flight of stairs to the ground floor. "Who's the daddy of CCiOS?"

    "The CCiOS was created by [INFORMATION REDACTED]," said Twi. "Hm... Whoever put me here is either very good or very bad at their job."

    I never really expected that to work. If the then-CEO of the Aitselec Corporation, and the creator of CCiOS, went through the trouble of keeping their identity concealed, there's no way they'd let their secret AI tell any random Joe or Jane that found it.

    "Okay, you can't tell me who created you… Can you tell me why?" I asked, pushing open the front doors and stepping into the bright, flashy streets of Canterlot City.

    "Hm… No. But not because the information has been forcibly blocked," she said. "I just don't know."

    I let that sit for a while as I walked the two hundred hooves to the west, right up to the ATM that Twi had located.

    "Aiden? I notice that your account is empty," said Twi as we approached the machine. "You have insufficient funds to withdraw."

    "Sure do," I said. I poked around at my belt and grabbed a small black box, which I stuck to the side of the ATM.

    "What is that?" asked Twi.

    "PIN code decrypter," I said. "Made it myself. It can find the PIN of the last one hundred users."

    "What purpose does that serve?" asked Twi.

    "Free bits," I said simply. Twi hummed slightly, clearly deep in thought. She clicked her tongue (that's what it sounded like anyway), as if she was scorning me.

    "What? You got a better idea?" I asked.

    "Well… That process takes several minutes, doesn't it?" asked Twi. "The algorithm for this machine isn't all that complicated. If you want, I can just guess my way into the system."

    "Yeah, right. You'd need the master key code, and that changes every thirty seconds," I said. Suddenly, the ATM spat out three thin, rectangular black boxes, each about the length of the average unicorn horn and the thickness of a TV remote. I grabbed them in my mouth, nearly dropping them in shock when I saw the numbers displayed on the tiny LED screen.

    "Whoa… That… That is a lot of zeroes," I said. "How'd you do that?"

    "It was simple. The master key code consists of 15 digits of a random selection," explained Twi. "That means that there are only one-trillion, three-hundred seven billion, seventy-four million possible combinations. I ruled out a couple million by running them against the bank's algorithm of codes that cannot be used, like all 2s, and then it was simple process of elimination."

    "If you had a body, I'd marry you right now," I said, slipping the credits into my little saddlebag on my hip. "That's a million credits on each! I'm a multimillionaire!"

    "I am currently running a budgeting program so you don't blow it all, or get us caught," said Twi, quite matter-of-factly. "Most of that money is for emergencies or big purchases we can't go without. We're locked out of most of that money at the moment."

    "Who said that it's 'us'?" I asked playfully.

    "I just stole three million credits for you, and will gladly do so again if the need arises," she returned, just as jokingly. "There's no way you're leaving me behind now."

    I grinned widely, and I could almost feel Twi's smile through her code. I practically ran down the street, trying to hide my grin from passers-by. I felt like I won the lottery, in more ways than one. Twi was going to open some doors for me, maybe get me some answers, or even take down CCiOS itself! The possibilities were endless, if she was to be believed about her infinite potential. Given that one of her secondary directives was honesty, I was inclined to think that she could be trusted.

    I trotted as quick as I could, weaving through the crowds and taking a shortcut through a back alley that led right into the back door of Bits and Bytes, the local emporium of questionable goods and shady individuals.

    "I don't think we should be entering through this door," said Twi. "Based on building schematics and floor plans, this is an emergency exit."

    "Well, I have special privileges," I said, pulling open the door. "Call me a minority owner. Oh, and let me do the talking, will you? Don't want anypony asking any prying questions."

    The back room, where the boys kept the extra inventory, was dark and cluttered, filled with boxes piled high to the roof. I stepped gently over the discarded nuts, bolts, and motherboards that littered the floor on my way to the only source of light, the door leading further in. I crossed the threshold, leapt onto and over the counter, and strode into the main shop, where the kings of stolen hardware stood, restocking shelves on the wall.

    "Yo, Flim. Flam. Let's talk business," I said. The two never looked up from their work, laying Interfaces, external hard drives, and other pieces of tech out onto the shelves.

    "Last time I checked, Ms. Aigo, we paid what we owed," said Flim.

    "I believe we did, brother, and then some," agreed Flam. "We don't really have any business to talk about."

    "Come on, guys, you know you screwed me over there," I scoffed. "It was a simple monitor replacement. You were the ones who decided to mess with my fiber-optics and servers when you really should've been focused on that dead pixel. I would've fixed the mess myself, but you insisted. "

    "Only because you threatened to skip on the bill," said Flam.

    "And call the cops!" added Flim. "We have no business with you."

    I strolled over to Flim, who I dubbed "the lead twin". Without saying a word, I dug out one of the bit cartridges Twi got me and shoved it under his nose. When I was certain he had read all the zeroes, I returned it to my saddlebag.

    "We do now. Let's talk," I said. The greasy little thief could barely contain his excitement. He jumped across to his brother, whispered in his ear, and the two bound across their shop and behind the counter.

    "What can we do for you on this fine day, Ms. Aigo?" asked Flam, grinning madly.

    "We just got a shipment of external hard drives, 30 TB," suggested Flim, with a similar cheshire grin. "They're going fast."

    "Ya know, somehow, I don't think I'll be needing an external for a while," I said. "I came for a camera and projector, two-in-one, if you got it."

    "Wouldn't you know it?" said Flam brightly. "My brother and I just happened to have, uh…"

    "Acquired one recently," supplied the lead twin. "Top of the line, brand new Aitselec SX510 digital camera/camcorder with holographic projection wired into an old shell. We'll cough it up for… six large?"

    "And how much did you boys pay for it?" I asked.

    "It, er… Fell off the back of the truck, as it were," said Flam. "We may have also been the ones to bump the truck."

    "Six large for a stolen Aitselec camera/camcorder that you two jokers sewed into an empty Interface?" I asked.

    "Well, we're quite proud of the wiring," said Flim.

    "I'll give you seven if you promise to steal more," I said. Twi buzzed loudly in protest, but she couldn't stop my from hoofing over the cartridge to Flim, who stuck it into his register and removed the appropriate amount, while Flam went to the back room to get my purchase.

    "You want us to look at that Interface of yours?" asked Flim. "It's not supposed to sound like that."

    "Don't worry about it. It's perfectly fine," I said, accepting my credits from Flim and slipping them into my saddlebag. Flam returned from the back room with my hodgepodge, slapped-together projector/camera combo, which I slipped onto my other forehoof. It looked similar to my current Interface, except the screen was clearly a camera eye.

    "Scanning peripheral…" whispered Twi, out of some AI habit. "Compatibility confirmed. Now capable of receiving and processing visual data. Currently operating at 29% capacity."

    "What was that?" asked Flim.

    "Sorry, that was my movie," I lied, fairly easily. "Must've accidently unpaused it by mistake."

    I didn't say another word as I trotted cooly to the front door. The twins waved their goodbyes as I pushed out onto the street to return to my lair.

    3. Upgrades & Info

    "You ready?" I asked Twi. I had my camera laid out on a desk back at the lair, positioned so that it could capture as much of my image as possible. Twi buzzed her approval, and I started the scan. A thin wave of light projected from the camera, panning from my hooves to my head, down, and back up once more. Twi dinged again, and began to buzz in what I would describe as "concentration".

    "Projecting image," she said. The air in front of me shimmered and shook for a second, and then the image came into focus. An Earth pony mare with a grey coat, and pale green eyes looked back at me. Her mane was a shade of lighter grey than her coat, and it was dreaded and bunched up into a untidy ponytail.

    "Is my hair really that messy?" I asked, nudging my braids with a hoof.

    "Yes, but I think it suits you," said Twi. "It fits your personality, I find. It gives you character." Twi beeped brightly, and I had another one of those moments when I realized that I could easily discern an emotion from this Artificial Intelligence. Twi had no face or mouth (yet), but if she did, she'd definitely be smiling.

    "Let's get you some character, then," I said with a smirk. Twi dinged her agreement, and began to slowly morph the features of my projection.

    "Altering default settings," she said. Her hair morphed from my messy bunch of bike tire dreads into a mane of straight cut, neat hair, falling into a tidy little bang. Her tail straightened and grew in length, and her body thinned itself out a bit. A horn materialized itself from her forehead and, to my surprise, a pair of wings plumed from her back.

    "ERROR! ERROR!" buzzed TW1 in her mechanical voice. "PHYSIOLOGICAL INCONSISTENCY. PLEASE TRY AGAIN." The wings melted away into nothing, but the horn remained.

    "Okay. Much better," said Twi, back to normal. "Could you imagine how ridiculous I'd look with wings and a horn?"

    "I dunno," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I think it's kinda cool. An alicorn, like in the fairy tales my pops used to tell me."

    "Adjusting color," said Twi. Her coat shifted from my bland grey to a soft lavender. Her mane darkened to dark blue, nearly black, and her tail followed suit. "Hue: 301, Saturation: 54, Lightness: 82 for coat. For mane/tail, Hue: 249, Saturation: 100, Lightness: 15." She beeped for a while, seeming to mull it over. Her mane and tail lightened slightly, fading from navy to a sort of violet. "Adjusting settings. Hue: 278, Saturation: 94, Lightness: 78."

    "You look nice," I said. "Hey, try a highlight in your mane. I think it'll look good on you." Twilight thought about it, and a bright pink streak appeared in her mane and tail.

    "That does look nice, doesn't it?" she said. "Thanks for the tip. Now, about these eyes." Her eyes shifted dramatically from my pale green to a glowing, energetic violet. "Much better, I think. Finalizing settings… Locking as defaults… Saving Avatar… Avatar saved. Currently operating at 45% capacity."

    "Wow! That's a big jump!" I exclaimed. "You're almost at half!"

    "I guess an image is a large part of being alive," mused Twi. "Alrighty, I'm set for now. This is about all that can be done while I wait for my code to be repaired." I wasn't really expecting that. I grabbed the projector from the table and strapped it to my forehoof. Twi had to reorient herself a few times to stay consistent and relative to the location of the camera, but she got the hang of it pretty quickly.

    "How long do you think that'll take?" I asked. Twi, clearly enthralled with her new physical representation, shrugged as deliberately as possible without detaching her legs.

    "Could take seconds or eons, for all I know," she said. "If I were to guess, I'd say I'll be up to 50% in a month."

    "And what do we do for a month?" I asked. "And, assuming that increase is constant, the next eleven months?"

    "Well…" buzzed Twi. "You could introduce me to some of your friends! I'd love to meet them!"

    "Here's the thing…" I said. "I don't actually have any friends. Unless you count Flim and Flam, who you've already met." Twi buzzed in protest.

    "That's not possible," said Twi, her lips moving just a little too fast for her words. "You must have some friends."

    "Your sound and image are out of synch," I said. "I don't know if you noticed or not, but I hack computers for a living. I have what the doctors would call 'trust issues'. I don't have any friends."

    "Except for me, of course," said Twi. At some point, probably when I blinked, she fixed her voice problem.

    "Yeah, well, AI don't really count," I pointed out. "You literally couldn't dislike me if you wanted to."

    "Of course I could. But I do like you," said Twi, looking me up and down. "But we can talk about that later. While we were talking, I've taken the liberty of discerning points of interest for you, and, as it turns out, there's supposed to be an Aitselec press conference at five. Would you like me to add that to our schedule for today?"

    "Definitely. How are we going to get in?" I asked. My Interface lit up, with bright black letters reading "PRESS" and a bar code beneath it.

    "There you are. I made you a press pass," said Twi. "It'll convince them that you're a reporter for a small e-news site based in Whinnyapolis called 'The River City Press'."

    "Never heard of it," I said.

    "That's because I made it up," she said, beaming with pride. "It wasn't too difficult. All I had to do was forge a loan, purchase a plot of land so that I would have the address, then fabricate credentials, a history, a website, a phone number, a fax, and an answering machine."

    This mare, this computer-generated unicorn, was amazing, and I think she knew that. Something about the way she grinned made me think that she knew how good she was, and she just didn't like to brag.

    "And you did all of that in the time it took for me to ask about getting in?" I asked, to make sure I was understanding correctly.

    "Well, yes," she said. "Although, I didn't start making the records until I told you I made it up. I work fast, is all. I was programmed to do everything fast; Work, talk, think, read-"

    "Read?"

    "Oh, yes. I love to read!" she squealed shamelessly. "I kinda wish I didn't have to read so fast, honestly. I mean, in the time it took for me to say that, I read every book ever written by a Saddle Arabian author, twice. Wait… Three times."

    "Well, read slower," I said. Twilight buzzed uncomfortably, and it was clear that my friendly suggestion wouldn't be enough for her. "TW1, I order you to read at whatever speed you want. Unless something comes up where I need you to read like lightning, and then I'll let you know."

    Twi buzzed in thought, weighing my order against her list of directives. After a few seconds, she seemed to decide that my order was valid. She beeped, then let out a sigh of contentment.

    "Thank you. It'll be nice to savor the stories this time," said Twi. "Assuming I can find a good one that I haven't read yet."

    "I got a site for you, where thousands of people upload stories every day," I said. The grin on her face was way too happy to be real, and it even made me smile a bit. "Later. First, I wanna know how Aitselec is having a conference, and I didn't know about it."

    "Maybe you weren't paying attention," suggested Twi. I glared at her, and she seemed to shrink down a bit. Whether that was intentional or just a trick of my eyes remained to be seen.

    "I've been trying to bring down CCiOS for over a year," I said. "I watch Aitselec constantly. Their stocks, their business plans, their profits, everything. Public announcements are the first thing I'm alerted of."

    "Oh, well, that's easily explained," said Twi. "They didn't announce it yet. Since I'm a part of CCiOS, I could see the memo before it went public. Give it two minutes, you'll get the notification."

    I nodded, knowing better than to question her at this point. She already proved that she was a very useful thing to have around, and I had no reason to believe that would change anytime soon. She was definitely a keeper.


    I shoved my way through the crowd, flashing my phony press pass to anyone who stopped to ID me. As to be expected, given her current track record, Twi's false credentials were solid, and I never got found out.

    The conference was held at City Hall, dubbed by the underground "Canterlot Castle", for two reasons. One was obvious, and that was the building's resemblance to a large castle, with several spire-like skyscrapers all connected to one massive "Throne Room", where all the tourist went to sightsee, and where this conference was being held. Beneath this room was a large basement, which was variably called "The Bunker" and "The Armory". This basement was were the main CCiOS servers were held; The very guts of the Aitselec Corporation.

    The other reason it was called the Castle was because it was nearly impossible to get in and out when you weren't supposed to. I know from experience. I tried to break in very early in my anarchist career, and I was in no hurry to try again. It was the first, and hopefully last, time I was ever shot at.

    "What do you think they're going to talk about?" asked Twi, safely hidden in the Interface. "From what I can tell, this conference was very spur-of-the-moment."

    "I dunno, but an impromptu conference as soon as I've unlocked you can't be a coincidence," I said. "Try to stay hidden." She kept quiet after that. I later found out that she had taken that time to take her time through one of her favorite stories: The Mare in the Moon.

    I finally pushed my way to the front row of the crowd, and was instantly baffled. The center of the room, which normally housed a large reception desk, instead had its space filled with a large stage, covered by curtains. Just in front of the blood-red drapes was a podium, holding several different microphones from a hoof-full of broadcasters. Floating a bit above the stage using their specialised electromagnets were six cameras, each looking down at the podium from a slightly different angle. Whatever was happening here had caught the attention of the largest news broadcasting stations in Equestria, which meant that this was big. I was just about to start interrogating Twi as to what she thought was happening when the curtains parted and she slowly walked out.

    She was a unicorn who looked to be nearing fifty, but still had a deceptive youth to her. Everything about her felt bright and important. Her coat was a beautiful ivory, apparently glimmering when the light hit her in certain places. Her mane was long and neat, and it was a trio of green, teal, and pink. I couldn't see her Cutie Mark, because it was covered by the elegant and lacey black dress she was wearing. She approached the podium and tapped the microphone lightly. Everypony in the room, myself included, leaned forward slightly, dying to see what this mystery mare had to say.

    "Hello? Welcome, everypony," she said, and it was quickly obvious that she had a natural knack for public speaking. "I'm glad to see so many of you here, all gathered by a common interest: The Canterlot City Internal Operating System. For such an integral part of daily life, in Canterlot and beyond, it is truly disturbing to some of you how little you know about it. Well, I hope to answer some of your questions by the end of our time together today. But first, I have a bit of a story to tell.

    "Seventy years or so ago, CCiOS started out as a mad idea shared by a crazy young mare and her younger sister," she continued. "It was never thought to go anywhere, rather, it was just a hobby. But, somehow, it became a huge part of Canterlot City, and, eventually, all of Equestria. It wasn't easy. Many bumps were encountered along the way."

    "This is making me uncomfortable," whispered Twi. "Something isn't quite right…"

    "The sisters managed to persevere, and their shared obsession soon became a reality," said the mare. "They created a whole business around it, and Aitselec eventually became the most successful and influential corporation in recent years. However, until today, the identities of the creators of CCiOS have remained a mystery."

    You could hear a pin drop in that room. Everypony was on the edge of their seats, begging for more information. I could only imagine the chaos that would follow in the wake of the biggest revelation in recent history. The reporters would have a battle royale, each trying to get the story out first. The internet would probably explode.

    "Well, let it be a mystery no more," she said. "My name is Celestia Regal, the older of the sisters, and I created CCiOS. I'm ready to take your questions."

    The buzzards that were the press were on her in a flash, sticking out their Interfaces in her face to record her every word. There was a loud roar of questions, and I could barely pick up on any of them. Over the brouhaha that was happening around me, I heard a whisper that instantly grabbed my curiosity.

    "Princess!" said Twilight, just barely heard over the loud buzz of the crowd. Celestia looked up, locking eyes with me for a short second. She smiled at me, then went back to answering questions. Her smirk scared me. It was the smile of somepony who just watched a plan go off without a hitch.

    I ran, out of the crowd, out of the Castle. I didn't look back, I just ran, with no direction in mind. I had to get away, I just had to, before Celestia broke free from her captors from the press.

    "Twi? Twi!" I said, still running. The ponies in the street paid little mind to me, an apparently insane mare yelling to no one. Canterlot City was a strange place, and I probably wasn't the first crazy bum they'd seen today.

    "Y-yes," she said slowly. "This… this is bizarre."

    "Why did you call her Princess? Why did she look at me like that?" I demanded, turning down into a side street. Hopefully, I wouldn't be followed.

    "I don't know," she said. "I can't explain it. When she said her name, some sort of override went off. I couldn't stop myself from saying it."

    "Who is she? How has she been so well hidden? And why come out now?" I asked. Twi began to "hyperventilate", making loud and rapid breathing noises as if she had no control over her lungs. I slowed to a stop, trying my best to calm her down.

    "I don't UnderStaNd. This doesn't make s-s-s-sense," she said, losing control of her voice. "This does NoT coMPutE! Emergency shut-down imminent…" My heart jolted in terror.

    "Shut-down? No! Do not shut down!" I said. "That's an order!"

    "Shut-DowN r-r-r-required," she stuttered, changing pitch at random points. "FailUre to shUt d-d-down may resuLT in lOSt d-d-data. Shut dOWN com-m-mencing…"

    Slowly, her voice faded out, and the light from the Interface went out. I yelled to her, with no response. I tapped at the computer on my wrist, and the thing didn't even boot up. I was freaking out, until I heard the sweet, near-quiet hum of my Interface booting up.

    "Adjusting Avatar… Saving Avatar as Default 2," said TW1. "Mixing… Mixing complete." Her voice changed. It was brighter and more bubbly. "Personality saved. Now operating at 60% capacity."

    "Whoa! What the hell?" I pressed at my camera, turning on the projector. The air in front of me shimmered, and slowly into view faded a very pink Earth pony mare. She couldn't look more different than she did before; She was sort of dumpy, and her mane was a wild, poofy mess. Her eyes, a shining bright blue, were filled with a happiness and amusement that I wish I could replicate for myself.

    "Hiya, what's up?" she said. "You're Aiden, right? Of course you are, it's not like anypony else found us in the past day."

    "Wait, us?" I asked. The hologram walked around me, pretending to drape her fore leg around me.

    "Me and Twilight, duh!" she said with a small laugh in her voice. "So, what're we doing? Don't tell Twilight, but..." She dropped her voice into an exaggerated whisper that was louder than normal speech. "I wasn't paying attention!"

    "Stop! Who are you?!" I demanded.

    "Pinkie Pie, silly, duh! Didn't you read the manual?" asked the new AI. Her voice went slightly robotic for a moment. "I am designation 91-NK13, originally programmed to aid the TW1 Artificial Intelligence in controlling the Canterlot City Internal Operating System."

    "Another one?" I asked. She nodded, then inexplicably began to hop in a circle around me, for no other reason than her own enjoyment, it seemed.

    In the span of twenty-four hours, I found a secret CCiOS AI, partly repaired her, discovered the creator of CCiOS, lost aforementioned AI, then gained a whole new one altogether. Oh, and that CCiOS creator smiled at me, as if she knew something I didn't, which she probably did. I did the only thing I could think to do in that situation: The thing I should've done when I saw Twi's first binary message.

    I hit the goddamn road and ran at full-gallop to the next town I could find. There, I'd get some new equipment, and find out what the hell was going on.

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