Harmony to Loyalty

Chapter 4

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"…and that's why wings are bullshit!" I finished ranting as we had reached the forest where our target would pass through.

"It's not my fault that I'm just more awesome than you" Rainbow gloated as she floated just out of arms reach of me as I jumped into the trees.

"I'm seriously weighing the pros and cons of breaking your wings and I'll be honest, I'm starting to think the pros outweigh the cons at this point!" I growled in mild annoyance as I followed her toward the road.

"Well you'd have to reach me first" She pointed out as she floated up higher to emphasize her point.

"Well fuck you too" I yelled with a shake of my fist as she just rolled her eyes at me.

"But I gotta say you were ranting and raving like a crazy pony for three hours straight, I think that might be a record" She mocked as I just glared at her

"Yeah well with how much you were swelling up your own ego I'm surprised it doesn't have its own gravitational field by now" I retorted

"Gravel? What does rocks have to do with anything?" She asked dumbly as I audibly groaned

"You are literally mind cancer…oh hey a road" I noted as I jumped over another tree branch to reveal a small dirt pathway that clearly looks lightly traveled, the forest canopy blocking off most of the sunlight with the exception of the occasional beam that broke through and plenty of places to perch from to watch the road, in other words a perfect spot for an ambush.

"Yup this is it, would've been here a lot sooner if you weren't slowing me down so much" Rainbow chided with a cheeky grin as I groaned

"Fuck. You. Wings. Are. BULLSHIT!" I muttered as I resigned myself to lay down on a tree branch that gave me a good combination of cover and line of sight of the road. "Anyway I'm taking a nap, I'll tell you when the wagon's coming" I said lazily as I pulled my hood over my eyes and closed my eyes.

"Wha…but how are you going to know it's coming if you're asleep?" She asked as I pointed to my right ear with my right hand.

"I have very good hearing" I explained as she gave me a look of doubt. "If you don't believe me then keep a look out and we'll see who hears them first…unless of course you don't think you can beat me when I'm asleep" I challenged as she narrowed her eyes.

"Oh you're so on" She declared as she floated towards an adjacent tree branch and waited in silence…as was the plan.

'At least now I can get some peace and quiet' I thought to myself as I lulled myself in a light sleep, after about an hour I heard the rolling of wooden wheels and the muffled sounds of conversation as I casually woke up and grabbed my rifle. "They're coming…we should see them in about six minutes or so" I declared as Rainbow tried to boast her hearing by…trying really hard? After her failure she looks at me.

"I don't hear anything…how do yo-" She was cut off by a loud shush from me.

"Just be patient" I assured as I readied my rifle for combat, sure enough roughly six minutes later the wagon in question came into view much to Rainbows surprise.

"How did-"

"It's not my fault that I'm just more awesome than you" I gloated smugly as she simply stuck her tongue out at me in retaliation. The wagon had two soldiers sitting at the front, the one on the left wearing a poor man's tunic and pants animatedly conversing with the one on the right who was wearing a dark green cloak over a red and black military uniform who looked to want to be anywhere but where he was. I readied myself for the ambush in bated breath.

"…and that's why eggplant makes a wonderful pain reliever for your feet, why just the other-"

"Ok look Karl…"

"It's Joh-"

"I really don't care, but look you've been babbling on and on about eggplant for the last FOUR HOURS and I'm going to tell you for the last time, I do NOT care so please either drop this inane conversation or drop DEAD!" In a moment of perfect timing a loud crack boomed from the trees followed by the eggplant obsessed soldier keeling over the side of the wagon and landing on the ground with a hard thud. The cloaked soldier sat frozen momentarily unable to process what just happened.

"…well that was rather unexpected" He mumbled to himself before he shook his head back to reality, realizing that he was just shot at. A rustling above him alerted him as he had just enough time to turn around before a blunt object collided with the side of his head, rendering him unconscious.

"Ok we're clear now" I relayed to Rainbow as she descended down with me to survey the damage, grimacing at the sight of the dead human on the ground a short distance behind where the wagon stopped. I got to work dragging the unconscious one down to the ground, needing some rope I decided to use the reins on the oxen as a makeshift rope, the ox which I noted with some amusement didn't seem to give two shits about anything that just happened. As I cut what I needed along with cutting the ox free it unexpectedly bolted into the woods, leaving me momentarily confused at its change in demeanor before I simply shrugged and proceeded to tie the unconscious soldier to the wagon.

"Rainbow why don't you check inside the wagon while I check these two?" I suggested as I got busy searching my future interrogation victim. Rainbow nodded and proceeded inside, glad that she didn't have to go near the dead body. I searched the unconscious one first as I removed his cloak and threw it to the side, I could already tell that this guy was anything but poor as was evident by the practically immaculate uniform with brand new equipment. Most of what he had wasn't very useful to me ultimately with the exception of rather large bag on this side that was filled to the brim with rifle cartridges. The cartridges clearly wouldn't fit in my rifle but since I had mostly seen these humans using muskets and primitive rifles I was curious what this guy's actual rifle was, sure enough after checking behind the wagon seat I found two firearms.

The first one was an old, beat up musket that didn't interest me in the slightest, the other one however proved my theory that this guy had money of some sort. The rifle in question was definitely a bolt action although it was relatively unique in that it had a door on the right side where in rounds were loaded, I remember hearing about rifles with a similar design built sometime before the twentieth century but my knowledge on the subject is limited. I could also admire that the rifle was in near perfect condition, clearly hadn't been used in actual battle just yet.

"A brand new rifle and a bag full of bullets? Why I think I will accept thank you my good man" I joked as I patted the unconscious soldier on the head, shouldering the rifle and securing the bag to myself. "Find anything yet?" I yelled at Rainbow as I made my way to the dead one.

"No just a bunch of weird human junk" Rainbow complained as she seemed to be in the middle of digging through whatever the hell was in there.

"Well keep looking then" I responded as I checked the dead one who had an entry wound on the top left portion of his head and exit wound on the lower right, he had nothing of real value on him…although he had no less than nine eggplants on his body in various pockets…I'd ask why but I kinda shot him so I simply shrugged. In that moment I heard what sounded to be like a struggle happening in the wagon, I turned around and went to investigate.

"Rainbow what's going on?" I asked as I peered at the wagon, swearing I saw a white light inside of it.

"…Rainbow you ok?" I asked again with concern as I readied my weapon, after another step forward a terrified scream rattled my senses as Rainbow toppled out of the wagon, a blindingly bright light emanating from something in her grasp.

"What the hell is-" I was cut off at that moment as what I assumed was a shockwave rushed out from the light source and knocked me on my ass. Since I was surprised I didn't have a chance to cushion my landing in any way as I landed on my head and blacked out.

I'm not exactly sure how long I was out, maybe a few minutes, maybe longer, I wasn't exactly sure as I came to but one thing was for sure, I had the biggest fuckin headache.

"Sweet merciful fuck that hurts…" I groaned as I struggled to my feet as I surveyed the scene, ok one wagon, one dead guy, one unconscious naked chick, one unconscious sold-

Wait what

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what I was seeing, an unknown chick butt naked lying on her front. I investigated closer as I noted that she was rather short, couldn't have been taller than maybe five three, had a very athletic build and had a very distinguishable head of rainbow colored hair that looked very similar in style to…to

Fuck

I shook my head as I looked around for something to cover her up with…it's not that I felt like a weirdo or anything, It's just that I felt that if I woke up naked on the road I wouldn't want some weird asshole staring at me while I was out…not after last ti-

You know what no that NEVER happened.

My eyes landed on the dark green cloak that I discarded from the unconscious soldier earlier as I took it and draped it over her for modesty's sake. As I finished doing so I noted a strange white gem on the ground that I know wasn't there before my ass was flung back like an extra in a Kung Fu movie. I initially went to grab for it but remembered that this might've been the source of this strange turn of events, so I grabbed the cloth that I used to cover my face earlier from my pocket and used it to pick up the gem, relief washing over me as nothing happened when I picked it up.

The gem wasn't anything too noteworthy in appearance, it was dull white, smooth and perfectly round, all in all could've been part of a basic necklace or something like that, but despite its innocuous appearance I couldn't help but feel like there was a lot more to this gem then just what I saw.

I stood to my feet, still eyeing the gem as if it could come to life and punch me in the face at any moment and looked to the naked girl on the ground in…pretty much the same way, wouldn't blame her to be honest. My mind was racing at the possibilities, clearly this was some form of magic, now magic is bullshit yes…but even I have to admit that yes here it does exist…its dumb and makes no goddamn sense just like ninety percent of what I've seen in the past month so far…but it nonetheless exists.

Just in case I checked around the scene thoroughly to make sure that this wasn't some elaborate joke that I'd have to brutalize someone for, but after a thorough check of everything I found no signs of Rainbow.

"So magic gem of stupid fuckery plus pony Rainbow equals…human Rainbow?" I summarized aloud, mostly for my own sake as I processed the lunacy of all, after a few moments I simply resigned myself to shrug. "Makes all the sense clearly" I concluded sarcastically as I wrapped the gem in the cloth and pocketed it, no way was I leaving that behind.

Now was the question of what to do next…

"Ugh my head" I heard the now conscious soldier moan as he started to come to…which I promptly ruined by delivering a firm kick to his head, knocking him right the fuck out…again.

"I'm not ready to deal with you just yet, I have other stuff to…to" I suddenly remembered something rather important, in the confusion of everything today I had left my stuff in the tree…back in the Everfree…back exactly where we came.

"FUCK THAT'S WHAT I WAS FORGETTING" I yelled as I smacked myself on the forehead with my palm. 'Well at least I know what to do now' I thought to myself as I eyed the other problem, the unconscious probably Rainbow who was probably going to throw the shitfit of the century when she woke up. I eyed the sky and noted that it was late afternoon, if I hurried I might be able to make it back to my stuff before the sun set…that is if all the extra weight didn't slow me down too much.

"If only I could leave you there…" I muttered to myself as I awkwardly fumbled to wrap the cloak around her in a way that would cover her properly as I positioned her on my back along with all the other crap I was carrying, it's like I'm a goddamn mule today. I was mostly joking about leaving her behind, as much of a dick as I can be, even I wouldn't just leave someone lying around in the forest as it was getting dark…well that and if I did I had the nagging feeling that she was the extremely persistent and stubborn type that would stop at nothing to hunt me down and exact vengeance upon me, it's what I would do. Once I felt like I got a firm grasp of her to where she wouldn't fall off I made my way away from the wagon and back the way we came.

It took longer than I thought to get back, the extra weight in itself wasn't too much of a problem, I was pretty damn strong due to my heritage and the fact that I was probably in better shape than I had been in well…centuries.

I know, that one is still a bit tough to get used to.

Hell Rainbow was actually pretty light due to her short stature and thin frame, no what slowed me down was just the fact that it was not easy at all to balance the dead weight of a human being on my back…a difficultly that was made obvious when I may or may not have dropped her on her head halfway through the trip…

She landed on grass but still I ain't gonna say a goddamn thing to her about that…besides her head's thick enough to take a little bump…yeah we'll go with that.

I laid her down at the base of the tree as I climbed up and retrieved my stuff and brought it back down, relieved that everything was as I left it. I then quickly went and gathered wood for a fire along with dinner in the form of a rabbit that I found at the edge of the forest…it was cute and cuddly how could I not have it over for dinner? I returned to nothing new, Rainbow was still out like a light as I built, kindled and built a spit over the fire. I then went through the process of cleaning, preparing and cooking the rabbit, not a glorious task but I've had a bit of a rough day and an apple for dinner just wasn't going to cut it.

While the rabbit was cooking I went through my two bags and took an inventory of what I had and decided to reorganize everything to where each bag had roughly the same items in them, so even if I lost one I'd still be ok. While I reorganized I noted the spare set of clothes I had packed that I found out on my first night here was much too small for me, much to my ire, I decided to fold them up and placed them by Rainbow, least she'll have some clothes to wear. I took out a pair of shoes, they were the only thing that fit me relatively ok and roughly measured them to Rainbows feet to find surprisingly enough that they looked like they'd fit…goddamn my shoes would fit a five foot three woman…I really do have princess feet…I swear anyone who points that out dies.

My stomach growling snapped me out of my insecurities as I lumbered over to the now cooked rabbit and grabbed myself a haunch and chowed down. Now let me tell you although I can survive on a pure fruit and vegetable diet…nothing can beat a properly cooked meal of GLORIOUS MEAT. After I got done with my haunch a rustling followed by a groan caught my attention as Rainbow started coming to, having some trouble as she rubbed her head from no doubt the same head splitting headache that I woke up with.

"Well look who finally decided to wake up" I muttered as I laid on the ground on my back as I lit a cigarette and inhaled, needing something unhealthy to unwind with.

"Ugh my head…was I kicked by an ursa major?" Rainbow asked groggily as I shrugged

"Uhhh no but the good news is that what actually happened is way more confusing and stupid…not really a good thing but who cares…also your human now by the way enjoy coping with that one" I tacked on at the last second, may as well get this part over with as soon as possible.

"Oh ok, I thought it would've been a lot worse th…wait what?" she questioned as my words sunk in, much to her horror as she stared at her hands for a few moments before jumping to her feet shakily as she examined her new body.

"Annddd she's still naked" I mumbled as I turned away in annoyance. After a few moments of silence I was mildly surprised that she didn't break out into a hysterical scream. "Well I gotta say your taking this a lot better than I-" As if on cue I cut off by an ear debilitating scream that made me wince from the sharpness.

"WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH ME?!"

"…well your kinda stubborn, your ego is an unchecked nightmare that never ends, I'm also pretty sure that your brain is only working at minima-"

"QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE FOR ONCE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" She shouted as I was caught off guard by her actually calling me an asshole…I didn't disagree but up until this point she had been using these really weird ponified swear wo…ok not the main issue right now brain.

"Me? Well I did a little dance, sprinkled some magic bullshit on your cupcakes and topped it off with a whole bunch of NOTHING BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO SHIT TO YOU!" I shouted as I was quickly getting annoyed.

"OK SERIOUSLY IF YOU ANSWER ME SARCASTICALLY ONE MORE TIM-" She was cut off by a cloth covered object colliding with her head hard enough to knock her off her feet.

"That's what did that to you, I think you found it or something" I answered calmly as I took another drag of my cigarette as I heard the cloth being rustled and a minute of silence.

"…Where was this?" She questioned more calmly, much to my relief.

"I found it by you taking a nap in the dirt, I think I remember something glowing in your hands…hooves…now hands, you know what I mean! Does any of that ring a bell?"

"Kind of, my head's really fuzzy right now…" She mumbled as she laid back for a bit, the situation making her more fatigued by the minute. "Hey by the way you now that's rude to turn your backside to someone talking to right?" She criticized as I simply snorted.

"Kinda like how it's not all that appropriate to be showin someone the goods if you ain't gonna deliver?" I shot back as I glanced back just long enough to see her face register what I meant before it went beet red with embarrassment, I rolled my eyes and faced my head forward again. "I left you some clothes over to your right, you should probably put them on" I suggested as I immediately heard the frantic rustling of cloth.

"Umm how do these work?" She asked as she stared the articles of clothing in confusion.

"Figure it out yourself, because I ain't dressing you like your five years old…even though you're as tall as one"

"Oh Ha HA" She replied sarcastically as she went to work figuring out how the clothes worked, after a good ten to fifteen minutes of fumbling around she finally managed to solve the complex puzzle of how to wear people clothes. "Ok I think I got it" She assured as I shifted myself around to face her, she was basically wearing the same clothes as me, white t-shirt, black cargo pants and black shoes, although hers were cleaner due to mine not having access to a proper washing machine in a month, fuck I miss those things because fuck hand washing clothes forever, seriously. The shirt didn't exactly fit right sense it was a men's shirt and the pants were slightly too long but other than that they looked just fine. While I was looking at her I did cursory examination of her face and found that despite her lean, athletic body she had rather soft features with perhaps the exception of her eyes which still resonated a brilliant violet. I'd go as far as to call her cute but since she was technically a pony trapped in a human's body that would kinda be a weird thing to say.

"About damn time, thought I was gonna have to draw you a map" I joked as she simply glared at me in mild annoyance before her face went back to worried.

"How in Celestia's name am I going to fix this?" She questioned to herself as I shrugged my shoulders for probably the fiftieth time today.

"Hell if I know, have you tried using magic?" I suggested rather lazily.

"Only unicorns can use magic and even then…I've never heard of something like this, I think I'd need the princesses help for this…" She theorized as I simply scoffed.

"Oh yes because I'm sure we can just walk right on in and go 'yo princess I kinda got my shit broken, can you fix pretty please?'" I pointed out with my ever endearing sarcasm.

"Well…yeah! They'll listen, they know me!" Rainbow reasoned as I simply stared at her. "…I know I know it would be kinda dumb to just walk up to Canterlot and not expect trouble, I get it" She admitted in defeat as she sighed profusely.

"Well…I guess theres no since in worrying about it now, not when theres good eats to be had" I stated in a…rather backwards way of trying to not get her to mope so much. I tore off another piece of rabbit from the spit and took a bite as she stared at me in disgust.

"Wh-what's that?" She asked as she noticed the meat over the fire.

"Filly" I answered casually as she got a look of pure horror and revulsion, much to my amusement as I burst out laughing. "Oh god that face…it's priceless!" I managed out in-between laughs as she finally figured out that I was fucking with her.

"You're horrible!" She scolded harshly as I relented with a shrug.

"You're not wrong, but you gotta admit from my perspective that was funny as fuck" I reasoned as I took another bite.

"…I guess so, but still jeez dude" Rainbow relented as she realized she was just basically on the wrong end of a prank…probably the most messed up prank she's ever heard but still just a prank.

"Eh I'm an asshole, but even the whole baby eating thing is a bit much in my opinion…besides I think rabbit is probably better than pony really" I speculated as I took a bite "…yup I'd say so" I concluded as Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

"That's rabbit?" She asked

"Yup just rabbit, better than fillies' right?" I asked as she thought for a moment

"True, but dude if Fluttershy ever found out I think she might actually try to kill you"

"Pfft damn hippies and their regard for animal life, eh well it tastes awesome so it's all good…speaking of which" I interrupted myself as I grabbed a haunch from the spit and offered it to her. "Want some?" I offered as she stared at me like I grew a second head.

"You're kidding right?" she asked in disbelief.

"Not really no" I said as she stared at me incredulously, I chewed on my food thought for a moment. "You know, I think I know what's up, it's because of the whole your technically a pony thing right?" I asked with a feigned dumb expression as she stared at me like she was about to slam her head against a wall.

"OH GEE YOU THINK?! I've only been awake in this body for fifteen minutes and you're already offering me to eat dead animals!" She admonished

"Details details, it's not gonna kill ya, besides you need to eat and this is all I got right now" I pointed out as she looked at me in annoyance followed by surprise.

"YOU…wait you actually care if I eat or not?" she asked with an unreadable expression

"Well…not really, but I mean technically you DO need to eat at some point and seeing as I'm not completely without manners…" she snorted in disbelief at that one "Shut it you, look you gonna take this or not?!" I growled in annoyance as she stared at the hunk of meat for a few moments before tentatively reaching out and grabbing it. She examined the morsel as if she was making a life altering decision that would change everything forever…ah the entertainment of watching a pony internally argue the moral implications of eating meat…gotta say never thought I would see that shit.

"…not a word of this to ANYBODY!" She ordered sternly as I simply stared at her.

"Oh how scandalous, eating a piece of meat, quick stop the presses!" I mocked sarcastically as she deadpanned at me. As she much to my surprise actually put a bit of it in her mouth and chewed awkwardly, as if the morsel would come to live and choke her at any moment. After a few moments she swallowed the piece with an unsure expression.

"…I'm a terrible pony" She admonished herself as I just scoffed.

"Nah your just a drama queen…it was good wasn't it?"

"…somehow yeah" She admitted as a grin came over my face

"Congratulations, your now one step closer to being a merciless consumer of all that's small and fluffy" I joked as I dodged a rock that was aimed at my head with a laugh.

"…you're such an asshole" She mumbled as she took another bite with much less apprehension this time around.

"You sound like every woman I've ever met" I joked as I took another bite of food. "Yeah well as fun as watching an herbivore contend with suddenly becoming an omnivore is…I can't help but get the feeling that I'm forgetting something"

Meanwhile back in the now dark forest by an abandoned wagon

"Hello? Anybody? I want to be untied now…hello?"

Back at the cozy fire

"…eh can't remember, guess it wasn't important" I shrugged as I chowed down on GLORIOUS MEAT.

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Author's Note: This one was a little shorter than expected but it just seemed like the right place to cut it off, also a pony ate rabbit…in my defense all I have to say is "I REGRET NOTHING!" as is my birthright.

Next chapter should be up in a few days so see you then.