Houdini by Foster the People

Hello peeps, this note's going to be short and sweet as this is just another really long filler chapter. Read it though if you want to see a bunch of ponies get OHKO'd. It may be amusing. Thanks to frimboy3772 for the favorite and follow. Anything to add Solo?

The ending might be somewhat interesting, but really annoying, or to the mc anyways. But yeah, filler.

Round 7

I yawned as I exited the tunnel, walking towards the stage. Of all nights to return back to my normal and terrible sleep schedule, it had to be last night. And fuck, was I tired. I was the first up onto the stage and my opponent wasn't even in sight yet.

"Here we have the most unexpected participant so far out of the D-block, Charming Charmer!" Oh, how about that… the same announcer from yesterday. The one who didn't make stupid comments. I'm going to call him Rodrigo.

"He's quite something. Yesterday he caused quite the uproar, many ponies' brackets and predictions were completely thrown out the window without the slightest care in the world", the second announcer, the one who made all of the stupid comments, said. His name's going to be Dani. "Lost a lot of ponies their money."

I smiled at that. Making others lose money while getting it at the same time was one of my favorite hobbies!

"He's 23 years old and has travelled here all the way from Brazil! I wonder how he heard of this tournament…" Rodrigo pondered.

"Probably saw it on a bulletin board and thought 'I want that money'", Dani… said accurately. I'd have to keep my eyes on him…

"Don't be stupid", Rodrigo said.

"That's asking a lot", Dani replied, getting a laugh from the audience.

"Wait, what?" Rodrigo said.

"Is that him?!" Dani suddenly yelled, getting everypony's attention.

"It is! Here we have our second favorite youngster, Twisted Stallion!" Rodrigo announced. I saw my next opponent. He looked really young, probably the youngest opponent I've fought so far. He had a weird fur color. The more I stared at it, the harder I found to judge what color it actually was… maybe like a matte periwinkle? His hair though… wow. It was like… a dull, hot pink if that made sense. He had his mane done up in a stallion bun which made it really distracting. His tail though was very long and had grey streaks going through it. But not grey with age, it was a dark grey so I'm not sure what was going on there. His eyes were a light turquoise. All in all, his appearance made me want to laugh.

"Fun fact, he isn't twisted", Dani added. He is seriously going to do this every time.

"Somepony is going to be, if he doesn't shut it", Rodrigo threatened. It got a laugh from the crowd, but to me that sounded like a legitimate threat.

"Twisted Stallion turned 19 this year and is an only child. His parents are teachers at the local high school where they live, in Mechelen. His father was his math teacher during his last year of high school. While his mother is one of those PE teachers that will make you work for your grade. He says if he wins this tournament, he will use the money to help pay for his college tuition and books... What a great kid, taking all the stress off of his parents. He wasn't predicted to make it this far into the tournament but after some upsets and favorable draws, here he is! Though it looks like his luck's run out for this round", Dani said.

"... Hey, where is my script?" Rodrigo said. There was a brief pause.

"Good luck out there!" Dani suddenly said.

"You bastard!" Rodrigo yelled. There were sounds of paper flying everywhere and then it cut off as the referee climbed up onto the stage. Hey it was the same referee!

"Are you ready?" He asked the kid, who nodded in response. He looked at me. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. I nodded experimentally and he looked away. Oh, somepony's being sassy! "Congratulations to the both of you for making it this far into the tournament. I still have to give you both the rundown of the rules. The fight will start on my mark. The fight will only end under three circumstances. The first, is if one of the contenders loses conscious. The second is by ring-out, where if one of the contenders touches the ground outside of the perimeter. The third is if the fight reaches a total length of 15 minutes, the fight will stop and the winner will be selected by our panel of judges. In the event of a double knock-out or a double ring-out, the winner will also be selected by our panel of judges. Understood?"

Nods from me and my opponent… because fuck proper grammar. The referee nodded, grabbed his mic and raised his left foreleg, bringing the crowd to a hush.

"Mares and gentlestallions, in continuation of yesterday's rounds, the fight between Charming Charmer and Twisted Stallion may now… BEGIN!" He said, jumping off of the stage. I waited for the kid to make a move, but he didn't do anything really. Just kept shifting back and forth, back and forth, back an- okay fuck this. I'm too tired to be dealing with this dancer. I exploded forward, almost literally, towards the kid. I vaguely remembered about holding my speed back, but it was too late for that. And I was too tired to care right now. By the time I reached him, he had brought up a hoof to protect his face. I delivered a hoof straight to his jaw in an uppercut, this time holding back so I didn't, y'know, kill him. He did a hilarious number of flips before crashing onto the stage, completely ragdoll. I almost broke into laughter. He was just ragdoll and so colorful!

"Oh… my…" Rodrigo started, trailing off.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!" Dani exclaimed. "DID YOU SEE THAT?! 'CAUSE I SURE AS HECK DIDN'T! HE WAS THERE AND THEN, BOOM! HE WAS OVER THERE! THE GUY WAS FLYING AND NOW HE'S ON THE GROUND!"

"Could you stop yelling? You're hooked up to speakers broadcasting to the whole stadium… everypony can hear you just fine", Rodrigo said.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT BE YELLING?!" Dani challenged. I noticed the referee out of the corner of my eye. He was checking on the kid but he glared at me. It was as if he was saying 'I don't know who you are, but I will take you down'. I get those kind of glares a lot. Hm, not like being a smartass can make the situation any worse.

"Hey, do I win? He's looking kind of unconscious", I asked the referee. His lips seemed to shape into that of a snarl but no noise came out. He brought out his microphone.

"Twisted Stallion is unconscious… Charming Charmer… is the victor", he said. The audience exploded into a heap of boos and general chants of displeasure. I then took the time to bow in all directions, getting even more boos from the audience. I walked back towards my tunnel, barely hearing the announcers over the crowd but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I smiled to myself as I entered the tunnel.

Round 8

I yawned as I exited the tunnel, I was met with a few jeers but everypony seemed distracted by the announcers speaking.

"This guy may be small but he is… well let us just say an old, Nasty Devil!" Rodrigo said as I noticed my opponent who was already on the stage. He was a unicorn who, despite being fairly short, looked at least a decade older than me. He had nice dark green fur that was pretty close in color to my mane, just being a few hues lighter. He had a pale green mane and tail which both were kept fairly short but messy. He had green eyes that reflected wisdom, he seemed like the kind of stallion that was much more adept at magic then hoof-fighting.

"Fun fact, He isn't a devil or even a demon at that", Dani added his weird bit.

"... Calm down, it's fine, everything's going to be fine", Rodrigo seemed to mutter, but everypony could hear him pretty easily. He continued and spoke normally, "Nasty Devil is a bachelor who has a bachelor's in magic, hm, how interesting. He got his degree from the University of Liège but he's from the small town of Chimay, Belgium. He has been training young unicorns for 15 years now in a style that he created himself that mixes both magic and martial arts. Many of his older students are in this tournament because of him making it mandated actually for them to advance in their training so they get a feel for the martial art. The majority have actually gotten past the first and second rounds, and a few have even gotten to this round in earlier blocks and one will even be fighting latter on today."

"So they are just as good as their teacher?" Dani asks.

"No comment about that. When asked our universal question for all participants, he said he would use the money to hire a pony who has a more advanced magic ability than his to assist the students who surpass him. That would last for quite a while", Rodrigo remarked.

"He should use it to get a girlfriend", Dani stated, causing a laugh to go across the stadium and my opponent facehoofed as well.

"... Wow… That is harsh dude", Rodrigo said.

"In the other corner!" Dani yelled, shifting topic quickly. "We have Charming Charmer!"

A chorus of boos and a few waves from me towards the crowd.

"The 23 year old from South America who pulled off quite the spectacle last round", Rodrigo said.

"Spectacle?!" Dani asked. "That dude moved like lightning!"

"Y-Yes, he di-"

"I mean he was there, then whoosh he was over there!" He interrupted. I ignored them as the referee walked onto the stage. From his body language alone, I could tell he was going to say something to me or about me.

"Are both combatants ready?" He asked, I nodded and so did my opponent. "The fight will start on my mark. The fight will only end under three circumstances. The first, is if one of the contenders loses conscious. The second is by ring-out, where if one of the contenders touches the ground outside of the perimeter. The third is if the fight reaches a total length of 15 minutes, the fight will stop and the winner will be selected by our panel of judges. In the event of a double knock-out or a double ring-out, the winner will also be selected by our panel of judges. Understood?"

I nodded as did my opponent. The referee raised his microphone but then lowered it again. He turned to me.

"I would also like to remind both participants that the use of magic is illegal and if you are caught using magic during a match you will be disqualified from the tournament", he said, looking at me the whole time. Oh they thought I was using magic? How precious. Fucking with these ponies is just too much fun. He brought the microphone back up while raising his left foreleg to silence the crowd. "Ladies and gentlecolts, the fight between Twisted Stallion and Charming Charmer in Round 8 may now… COMMENCE!"

I assumed he jumped off like he normally did, but I didn't see it because I already was focusing on not killing my opponent. He had made a fatal error in blinking as the match started. Now, he got to open his eyes just in time to get clocked in the face by my left hook. I had to put in quite the effort to not break his neck as I had the momentum from jump that allowed me to cover the distance between us added into the punch. I didn't hear any satisfactory cracks as my hoof connected and he twirled in the air like a drunken ballerina… not to disgrace the art of drunk ballet. He flew off the stage and crashed onto the ground. The crowd exploded in gasps and other noises.

"HE DID IT AGAIN!" Dani yelled.

"Again with the yelling?" Rodrigo asked.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Dani continued. I turned to the referee who seemed frozen in shock as he stared at me. I smiled my smuggest and douchiest (it's a word in my book!) smile. He seemed to be brought back to reality as the crowd erupted into boos. He quickly brought his mic up.

"Ch-Charming Charmer is the victor", he said. I nodded satisfactorily and began walking back to my tunnel. When I was near the tunnel, something caught my eye. I turned and noticed something was flying at me. I easily caught it with my hoof. It was… a partially eaten apple? Seriously? Who takes two bites of an apple? That's so wasteful. I took a bite out of it and waved in the general direction it had come from before going back into the tunnel.

Round 9

I walked out of the tunnel to see my opponent already out on the stage and the announcers were doing their pointless intros that they literally did every round. My opponent was a stallion of about normal height with… what color is that?! It was like some unholy abomination decided to give black some color! Is it a shade of purple? Red? I have no fucking clue! Ugh, just looking at it was giving me a headache. He had a much more normal purple colored mane and tail. He was also a unicorn and had light blue eyes. I studied his stance… he seemed very professional… too professional.

"Here we have a regular today, it is Undead Devil!" Dani yelled, getting a roar from the crowd in response.

"Fun fact, he isn't undead or a devil", Rodrigo said, doing his thing.

"You know what? Dream job officially ruined", Dani said, though I couldn't tell if he was just doing it for humor or if he was actually being serious. Probably a bit of both.

"Yeah!" Rodrigo said randomly.

"Don't blame me for what is going to happen after this is all done", Dani passive-aggressively threatened before just sighing. "Undead Devil is a 46 year old who has a… confidential work place…"

"That sounds sketchy", Rodrigo said and I actually agreed with him. I studied my opponent again and watched his stance. It was definitely the stance of someone experienced and trained but not in a martial art.

"Don't question a regular. He has won many different tournaments in the past and has personally thanked all of the tournament workers and volunteers personally every time he has participated. He said that if he won this tournament, he would use the money to open his own family restaurant in his hometown of Brussels, with all the recipes he has gathered from across the planet from his… confidential job", Dani explained.

"I am never going there", Rodrigo said.

"FOOL, ALL TOURNAMENT WORKERS SHALL GO THERE!" Dani suddenly burst out. There was then a hefty pause around the stadium as everypony seemed unsure of what to do. It was Dani who tried to break the tension. "A-Anyways, that brings us to his opponent today in the red corner, Charming Charmer!"

"It seems like this stallion is hell bent on bringing this tournaments to its knees", Rodrigo added. Eh, he was right, more or less. Wait, wait a second. Oh higher power that I don't believe in… I just realized something of utmost horror. I… was bored. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no I can't be bored. When I get bored I start getting introspective about my life and no pony wants that! Quick, gotta find something to entertain myself! What about…

What am I doing with my life? I'm freaking, and questionably, 23 years old and look where I am. Prime of my life and I'm jobless, I have no stable source of income and I'm homeless. Where did things go wrong? Maybe it was when I was taken from my family at a young age to become a slave for that rich, aristocratic bastard. Maybe it was that fateful night that Royal burst into the mansion and killed that bastard on a mission. Then there's the constant looming question of why he took me with him… and the even greater question of why I went with a total stranger who literally decapitated a stallion in front of me.

Then there was the hell of training he put me through. I mean, I have yet to understand how being thrown off a cliff is considered educational. Of course, the weapons training I was put through as I was trained to use and master so many different weapons that I'm pretty sure he made up some of them. And then I fell in love… with the bow and arrow. To this day, I have yet to find a sensation quite like the one I get when I fire an arrow and watching it glide into another pony's body. And when I hit their knee caps? Oh, I swear I've gone to heaven. Wasn't I doing something before I started brooding? Eh, if I'm brooding then that doesn't mean it was very important.

But why do I do, what I do? I mean I'm an assassin for crying out loud! I kill ponies because I'm told to! Well, most of the time… not to say I don't enjoy killing others, in fact, I love it. But doesn't that mean there's something wrong with me? I mean, it's not like I need to kill… I just really want to. Is that worse? Well what does it matter now? Everypony I know is dead. Except Royal whose off doing fuck knows what. Probably managing something. How did he go from assassin to assassin guild leader. What if he expects me to take over?! I can't fucking do that. That sounds like actual work. Like, real work. Like, not fun work. Speaking of not fun, what was I doing again? Oh… wasn't I going to fight somepony?

Suddenly, reality came back to me as sights and sounds assaulted my senses. I looked around and noticed I was standing over… who the fuck is this?

"AND HE'S DONE IT! A FLAWLESS CAMPAIGN OF THE PRELIMS! FIFTEEN ROUNDS! FIFTEEN PUNCHES! FIFTEEN KNOCK-OUTS!" Dani yelled. Wait, fifteen rounds? Wasn't I on round… not-15? Dear lord did I zone out for the entirety of the tournament? And I did just as well as when I was conscious? That's just… sad. Almost sad enough to make me feel bad for them. Well, kinda almost. Okay, not really. Fine, not at all. I just waved at the crowd which was full on booing me and throwing stuff at me. Damn I'm good though, I subconsciously make ponies hate me. I weaved my way through all the junk that was being thrown at me and made it to the tunnel. From there, I was led to the locker room or whatever it was called where Gecko was. I got a blink in greeting.

"Hey Gecko. Have I killed anypony in the last 24 hours?" I asked him. I didn't even get a response. "I… kind of… zoned out after round 8 or 9 I think."

He gave me a blink and a shake.

"Ah right, of course you'd notice. Well hey! At least I'm in the finals now apparently. I mean, if I can win the hardest part of the prelims, how hard could the finals be?" I asked. He gave me a few suggestive blinks. "No I did not just jinx myself. I'm not stupid. I would be jinxing myself if I said something like 'wow, things can't be much easier than this'. Nope, total difference. C'mon Gecko, let's just go back home and sleep till tomorrow where I'll kick ass because this tournament's weak… well you know what? Your face is a jinx!"

So… yeah… I kind of rage-quitted and decided to just time skip those rounds. But, there's some backstory on the mc so this chapter has a little random relevance thrown in. But next chapter will definitely see the end of this tournament and major plots will be happening. Anyways, I'm tired of this chapter. Solo, you close up shop this time, I'm going home early.

Oh… ok, well I guess this was of some relevance. But next time we will put a lot more depth with characters and such. But this tournament is almost over… yay. SoloAcrobat6 out.