Pepe Le Discord

Summary: A requested Dislestia fanfic/Pepe le Pew and Penelope Pussycat parody. On Hearts & Hooves Day, the Cutie Mark Crusaders make a love arrow, but it accidentally hits Discord…making him fall for Celestia! Can our beloved Sun Alicorn hope to escape the now Prench-speaking, wooing Master of Chaos? I only own myself in this fanfic; everything else belongs to their proper owners.

Prologue: Yes, I'm Putting Myself in this Fanfic

Yes, I'm putting myself in this fanfic. I thought it would be interesting if I have the ability to travel into the Pony world and back into the real world. And my role in this situation is sure to make this really interesting.

In the Pony world, I'm a tiger orange Unicorn Pony with a dark chocolate brown mane and tail with golden and ruby highlights. I also have turquoise eyes, and my Cutie Mark is a paintbrush crossing with a quill like crossed swords, indicating my talent for art and writing. It's not exactly what I look like in the human world, but please roll with it.

I also like to call myself Illustre (French for illustrate) to make it easier for the other characters in the story.

Just to let any Dislestia fans in Deviantart know, you're more than welcome to make a comic of this fanfic on the condition that you include disclaimers. I was disappointed that StOoiE's comic version of my fanfic Love Gone Insane had to be cancelled and taken out before I can see Discord getting all romantic with Celestia. So feel free to make a comic of this fanfic as long as you include disclaimers. Other than that, enjoy!

Ch.1: Hearts & Hooves Day in Canterlot

You, Readers, may know this already, but I consider myself quite the romantic. You can tell by some of my fanfics that I've written. But what you probably don't know is that I'm also a Pepe le Pew fan. He's French, he's an adorable skunk, and he's romantic. I also love Penelope Pussycat, the cat he romantically pursues because of the white stripe painted onto her back. But I guess my love for those two Looney Tunes characters is what started a hilarious mess in Equestria.

It all started when I was visiting Canterlot (in my Pony form btw) to do a bit of shopping and seeking some inspiration for my next fanfic. The streets were decorated with hearts, flowers, and all sorts of romantic stuff, a sure sign of the romantic Hearts and Hooves Day, the Ponies' version of Valentine's Day, one of my favorite holidays back in the human world.

Some people tell me it's just a holiday made up by the Hallmark Company to sell their products. Personally, I consider that insulting comment something a pathetic spinster would say, pure and simple! You know, someone who has no love life.

Anyway, I was swooning over a cute Pony couple sharing a vanilla-ice-cream-and-red-velvet-cake parfait when I heard a cry from nearby.

"Oh, no!"

"Gross!" I turned to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders (plus Babs Seed) looking down at a dirty puddle in front of them in dismay. I can see something in the pond but went closer to get a better look and find out what's going on.

"What's going on, girls?" I asked the little ones.

"Oh, hi, Illustre," Babs answered, looking up at me sadly and using my nickname/Pony name. "We dropped something in this puddle, and now it's all dirty." I looked down to see that it's a golden arrow with a heart-shaped arrowhead. It can't be a Love Arrow like from Greek mythology, could it?

"Well, let's just get it cleaned up," I said, picking it up with my Unicorn magic, "and it'll be good as new again." The girls smiled up at me in reply.

"Thanks, Illustre," Apple Bloom replied. "Yer the best."

"Just happy enough to help," I laughed before we went to find someplace to clean the arrow off.

A short while later, we found a river in the park where I dipped the arrow in it, washing the dirt and such clean off. As I was, I decided to ask the girls about it.

"So what's this little arrow for, girls?"

"It's our Hearts and Hooves Day present for Princess Celestia," Sweetie Belle answered with a smile. "Her very own, genuine Love Arrow; we asked Twilight to help us make it for her."

"Oh, that's so sweet," I cooed, finding it adorable that the girls want to give their Sun Princess this special gift, before I began to tease them. "You're not gonna make her fall in love with somepony, are you?"

"After what happened with Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac?" Scootaloo answered with a face. "Yeah, right! It's just something she can add with her other treasures. Maybe next to the crown jewels."

"Now there's an idea," I laughed as I dried off the now clean arrow. "But you know? Maybe we should give it a little perfume just in case of a bad smell from that puddle. Good thing I have just the thing."

I then used my magic to pull out of my satchel my gift from my sister and nephew. It is a perfume bottle called Eau de Pepe Perfume, a new product of Warner Brothers with different scents (my bottle is La Rose Romantique) and with Pepe and Penelope as the icons. The liquid in the bottle is rose red, and the wrapping on the bottle shows a love struck Pepe holding a freaked out Penelope in his arms while holding a rose in his teeth (something I think I've seen on a T-shirt a few times before).

"Are those the two Looney Tunes you've told us about?" asked Babs, pointing at the bottle. "Pepe le Pew and Penelope Pussycat?"

"Sure are," I answered, giving the arrow a couple of sprits of my perfume.

"Aw, you're right about them," Sweetie Belle cooed. "They are adorable!"

"Told ya so," I giggled before putting my perfume back into my satchel. "Anyway, how about I go with you to help you give this to the Princess. You know, just to avoid anymore puddles."

"Thanks, Illustre," Scootaloo replied with a smile. So the five of us headed for the castle to find Celestia and give her her Hearts and Hooves Day gift.

Oh, sorry for not mentioning this sooner, but the Pepe le Pew perfume thing was something I've made up. Sorry for any confusion. Also, what Discord's about to say after the arrow hits him is a parody of Pepe le Pew's lines, which I've made child friendly the best I could.

Ch.2: Accident Leading to Parody

Inside the royal garden, Princess Celestia was enjoying a picnic lunch/tea with Discord under the large shade of a cherry blossom tree. She decided to give her court the day off for Hearts and Hooves Day, and spending some quality time with Discord sounds like a good way to enjoy herself.

"So you're really alright with Garble dating Fluttershy for Hearts and Hooves Day?" she asked him as she took a small bite of her pink lemonade flavored cupcake.

"Sure, after the fiasco I caused at your Gala, I wanted to prove I've learned my lesson," he answered, sipping his chocolate strawberry shake with a smile. "Besides, I can tell Garble's crazy about her and won't hurt her despite Spike's past with him. And I told him that if he so much as makes her cry, I'll turn him into a mime." Celestia burst into laughter at the last part, making him smirk. "Seriously, I did. You should've seen his face; he was all like…DYAAAH!" Celestia fell onto the grass, laughing harder at the freaked out expression he made.

"Discord, sto-ha-ha-op! I can't breathe!" As the two immortals were laughing, Illustre and the CMCs were coming into the garden with the Love Arrow for Princess Celestia.

"There she is," Illustre said before spotting Discord. "Oh, Discord's here too? Either we've stumbled upon a cute little rendezvous, or they're just having a little friendly get-together."

"Wowza!" Babs cried with delight before bringing out a black T-shirt of her favorite roller derby team. "Now I can give him this awesome T-shirt I bought for him from Manehattan." Sweetie Belle then took the arrow from Illustre with her own horn's magic.

"C'mon!" she cheered, and she and Babs galloped off towards the two entities.

"Girls, wait up!" Illustre cried as she, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo gave chase. "You're gonna trip and fall!"

But her warning came too late. Just when the two fillies were a foot from Discord, Sweetie Belle did trip and fell to the ground. When she did, she launched the arrow towards Discord, and it struck him on where his tail meets his butt without him or Celestia noticing.

"Uh-oh!" Sweetie and Babs said in unison as the arrow glowed rose pink. Then the aura flew off the arrow and across Discord's body before vanishing. Then Discord's snake tail turned into a skunk tail that didn't give off a disgusting smell, his ears became small, round, black like skunk ears, and a tuff of black hair topped with a white strip grew out on his head in between his horn and antler.

"Uh…that's new," Illustre said with surprise before getting out her new iPhone (call her mean, but she couldn't pass it up). Celestia meanwhile stopped laughing, sat up, and looked up at Discord, who also stopped laughing all of a sudden when the strangest feeling washed over him all of a sudden (arrow's aura).

"Discord?" she asked as he then looked at her. "Are you alright? And…what's with the tail, ears, and hair? I don't think that should be the appearance of a mime." Discord only gave her a flirty smirk before scooting closer to her, much to her surprise.

"Ah, but ma cherie," he purred with a Prench accent, "ze mime iz not az romantique as moi, non?" Celestia blinked with confusion at this new change in Discord.

"Oh-ho, man," Illustre laughed as she recorded the scene with her iPhone. "This is gold here.

"What?" Celestia asked with an arched eyebrow. "Discord, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Everyone should have un passé-temps," he answered, his new tail sneakily slithering up to her without her noticing. "Don't you think, Céleste?"

"Uh, yes," she answered, still confused. "I suppose so. But why—" She stopped with a cry of surprise when the skunk tail wrapped around her like a warm blanket.

"Mine iz showering you with l'amour," Discord purred, wagging his eyebrows at her. Now Celestia was getting scared.

"Discord, this isn't funny anymo—" She was cut off when the changed Draconequus pulled her into her arms suddenly and dipped her over romantically, that flirty look still on his face.

"Ahh, ma dahling," he purred, running his eagle claws gently through her ethereal mane, "you smell of ze sweetest garden in ze bloom of ze spring." He then started to pepper her cheek and neck with kisses as she squirmed to get out of his grip.

"DISCORD!" she cried, her face turning red. "Stop it!"

"Ah, ze adora-shion," he only purred to her. "Ah, ze pa-shion…Ah, ze moments of dezire, n'est-pas?" He then kisses her again on her cheek and the corner of her mouth. Celestia then turned to Illustre and the CMCs, who are watching in shock. Even Illustre couldn't believe what she's recording.

"Girls, what has gotten into Discor—EEK! Discord, not the neck again!"

"We're sorry, Princess Celestia," Apple Bloom protested. "That Love Arrow was a Hearts and Hooves Day gift for ya! We didn't mean for it to hit him!"

"Love Arrow?" Celestia turned her head at the direction of the arrow still stuck on his butt…only for Discord to kiss her lips!

"EEEEEWWW!" the CMCs cried, covering their eyes.

"Oh, I got that one!" Illustre cheered, still recording the two immortals.

"Oh, you leetle flirt," Discord chuckled before kissing her face again.

"Discord, please! The girls are watching!"

Illustre soon snapped out of her recording when a thought came to her. The skunk features…the Prench-speaking…the romantic gestures, flirting, and kissing…Discord's acting just like Pepe le Pew! But why…

"My perfume!" The girls turned to her before she started to explain. "My perfume must've affected the arrow's magic to cause Pepe le Pew's influence to affect Discord!"

"Pepe le who?" Celestia asked as Discord started to purr more Prench into her ear.

"I'll explain later," the orange Unicorn answered. "Right now, I think ya better teleport outta here!" With a nod, Celestia began to concentrate on a spell…but nothing happened.

"Huh?" Another thought came to Illustre as she wondered why the Princess's spell isn't working.

"Uh-oh…he must canceling out your magic and possibly your flying also to keep you from escaping."

"Now you tell us!" Scootaloo cried with a face-hoof.

"Vous êtes si charmante," Discord purred, taking her front and kissing up her arm. "Si intelligente. We will never be apart, ma cherie." Celestia only turned to the girls nervously as he continued to kiss up her arm.

"Yeah," Babs said nervously, "you better make a break for it." With a nod, Celestia hopped out of Discord's grasp and made a break for it. Discord only smirked after her.

"Ah, ze lover's chase," he purred to the girls. "C'est l'amour." He then hopped after Celestia on all fours like Pepe le Pew does to give chase.

"Discord, come back here!" Sweetie Belle called after him.

"Oh, Rainbow's gonna be laughing her head off when I show her this," Illustre laughed as she recorded Discord.

"Illustre, we gotta stop him!" Scootaloo reminded her frantically. The older Pony quickly snapped out of it.

"Oh, uh, right," she replied, putting her iPhone down.

"Any ideas?" Apple Bloom then asked.

"I'm afraid I'm no Love Arrow expert," Illustre confessed, "but what if we try to remove the arrow from his butt?"

"You really think it'll work?" asked Sweetie.

"No, but it's worth a shot," the artist/writer answered, "no pun intended. And if it doesn't work…well, I'll try to think of something. But right now, follow that skunk tail!" Then the five of them sped off after the lovesick Discord.

The following scenes and lines are parodies of the Pepe le Pew episodes which I don't own. Same goes with the songs Discord sings. Enjoy.

Ch.3: Pursuit of the Arrow

Celestia panted for breath as she slowed down her running to rest a little while hiding behind one of the large roses bushes in a large-enough patch in her garden. Fortunately, the thorns have been carefully removed, and that will give her time to think up a plan.

Alright, she thought to herself. Discord has disabled my ability to fly and my magic…so I can't fly away to escape…or use magic to fight back…An idea then popped up inside her head.

"Twilight! She might know what to do, and I've a feeling the little ones asked her to make that Love Arrow for me if they want to give it to me as a gift. I just need to write a letter to her and—"

"Yoo-ze-hoo, bebe! Yoo-ze-hoo-oo!" Celestia immediately fell silent when she heard Discord call out to her.

Oh, no! She then scooted back further into the rose bush to hide better.

Meanwhile, Discord has just entered the rose bush patch while sniffing a tiger lily romantically.

"Come, my pink kit-ton," he called. "We have so much love t—" He stopped when he spotted his current location and smirked as he tossed the flower into the air, making it explode into a bunch of monarch butterflies with a pop. "Oh-ho-ho, you want to play hide-and-seek, yes?"

As the Master of Chaos, he must be joking, Celestia thought to herself. Then again, it must be because of the arrow.

"Ready or non~," Discord called, "I'm going to find you~!"

Hopefully, he doesn't, Celestia thought to herself, her heart beating rapidly.

Discord meanwhile started playing that Eenie-Meanie-Meinie-Moe game that Pepe does but a bit differently, pointing at a random rose bush with each beat:

"Eenie, Meanie, Meinie, Ming

Catch your lover by ze wing

If she'd holler, hold her closer

Eenie, Meanie, Meinie, Moe-sar

O-U-T spells I heart U!"

Celestia held still and held her breath as he finished the little rhyme. Once he picks the wrong bush (and she hopes he does), she'll make a break for it.

Okay, on three…One…Two…Thr—"Ahh!" Celestia cried out when she felt a furry coil wrap around her waist before Discord's face appeared in front of hers in a flash, the flirty look in his eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Discord, let go!" she cried, struggling to get out of his grip. He only dipped her again with that smirk on his lips.

"Alright, sunflowah," he then said to her. "You've done all that could be expected. You've resisted your natural impulses and run away from me." He chuckled as he peppered her with kisses while she squirmed. "You cute flirt you." Celestia quickly made her way out of his grasp and ran off, making him fall forward on the grass gently. But he only lifted up his head and placed his chin into the palm of his paw dreamily.

"You know," he said with a glance to the readers (you), "most guys would get frustrated over zis." He then looked after her with a sly laugh. "Lucky for her, I'm not most guys." He then hopped off after happily just to avoid Apple Bloom, who leapt forward to grab the arrow but missed.

"Aw, dang it!"

"C'mon," Illustre said as she helped her up. "We almost got 'im!" They and the others then chased after Discord.

Celestia meanwhile stopped by a large fountain and hid behind the large structure.

"I think I gave him the slip this time," she said to herself in between pants. Just then, she heard guitar music behind her, accompanied by singing.

Sweetheart, Discord loves you

Sweetheart, fortunate, lucky you

Feeling her heart stop, Celestia turned slowly to find Discord sitting behind her, playing a guitar and wearing a red-and-black sombrero while smirking at her.

Sweetheart, wake up, and you will find

Discord, he's got you on his mind

"Whoa!" Celestia made a break for it…again. But Discord only smirked after her.

"Flirt." He hopped after her again, this time dodging Sweetie Belle who then fell into the water.

"AW, COME ON!"

"You okay, Sweetie?" Babs asked as Illustre helped her out of the fountain.

"I will be as soon as we get that stupid arrow," she answered as Apple Bloom helped dried her off.

"I'll get it," Scootaloo said, whizzing by on her scooter.

Meanwhile, Celestia had just spotted a nearby garden shed.

"Perfect!" She then ran for it and opened it before jumping inside and closing the door behind her. "He'll never find me in here." Just then, a light appeared behind her. Turning around, she saw Discord lighting a candelabra on a red garden table with two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

"Getting there iz half ze fun, non?" Celestia only screamed in reply before bashing through the door and running away from the shed.

"Zat Sun Alicorn," Discord said to the readers. "Always on ze go." He then hopped out of the shed and after Celestia. When he did, he unknowingly hopped over Scootaloo, who then crashed into the shed.

"Good thing I have my helmet on," she groaned as bags of seeds fluttered down on her and the mess she made. "Ow…"

"I'll get it!" Babs called to her, speeding by in her helmet and roller skates.

Meanwhile, Celestia reached another spot of the royal gardens where she and her guests would eat outdoors in style and dance a bit. Quickly, she hid under a garden table with fortunately a platinum-colored tablecloth going down to the white marble floor.

"I just hope he doesn't find me this time," she whimpered to herself quietly as she held still and covered her eyes with her front hooves.

Meanwhile, Discord had reached the area and started to skate around the tables on actual ice skates without scratching the marble floor. As he was, he sang along with piano music he's playing offscene.

You must remember this

A kiss is just a sigh

A sigh is just a kiss

The fundamental things apply

As time goes buy

He then stopped singing when he stopped by a table with a certain pastel-colored tail sticking out from under the tablecloth. Smiling, he snapped his fingers, and the table floated up to find Celestia underneath with her front hooves covering her eyes with fear.

"Oh, she's shy," he quietly chuckled to the reader as he thumbs at her. He then turned to her again before gathering her into his arms, making her cry out with surprise. Her face became red as he held her in a dip once again.

"Alright, mon amoure," he purred to her. "We've broken through the ice; ze wooing has now begun." Celestia then started squirming (but more weakly this time due to his gentle touch) as he began kissing her in between pauses. "Now we begin our bashful glances…fluttering eyelashes…touching tail-tips…"

"Dis…Discord…ohh…" Celestia sighed, suddenly loving his kisses despite his new romantic forwardness. It could be his chaotic powers having his effect on her, but who knows. Just as Discord started to trail kisses up and down her left front leg…

WHOOOSH! Babs sped past them and caught the arrow with her mouth.

Yes! I got it. She then screeched to a halt and turned to Celestia and Discord…but he was still kissing up and down her arm. Huh?

"Babs, did you get the arrow?" Illustre called out to her as she rushed up to her.

"Yeah, I did," she answered before pointing out at Celestia and Discord, "but I'm afraid getting it off didn't work." The older Pony turned and gapped at what she's now seeing.

"What the—PRINCESS CELESTIA!" The dazed Alicorn snapped out of it and realized what she's letting Discord do.

"Discord, stop this at once!" she cried, trying to get out of his arms again.

"Oh, playing ze hard to get?" he chuckled, giving her a flirty glance. "Well, then…en guarde, minx!" And he pulled her closer to him to kiss her right on the lips right in front of the girls.

"Aw, gross!" Babs cried, covering her eyes. "Not again!"

"Hello!" cried the wide-eyed Illustre. When the two immortals finally broke the kiss, Celestia nearly fainted and held onto Discord by his shoulders for support.

"W…Wow…"

"Vivez l'amour," Discord purred with a wink at her.

"Okay, now this is going too far," the annoyed Illustre said. "If taking the arrow off won't snap him out of it, what will?"

"Tw…Twilight," Celestia stammered, getting herself together as Discord nuzzled her. "Get Twilight. She'll know what to do."

If Illustre had her fingers, she'd be snapping them with realization right now. The CMCs did say that Twilight made the Love Arrow for them; she must know an antidote in case of emergencies. And this is definitely an emergency.

"Don't worry, Celestia," she said to the white Alicorn. "I'll get over here faster than you can say sacré bleu." Then her tone became nervous. "But in the meantime, you might wanna make a break for it…again." With a nod of realization, Celestia quickly made her way out of Discord's arms and ran off. The Draconequus simply chuckled in reply.

"She zinks she can make herself more attractive to me by running away," he said to the girls with a wink. "How right she is." Then he hopped away after her. Pam just rolled her eyes with a groan as she then got out her phone to send a text message to Twilight.

Good thing Discord and I gave her and the girls their own iPhones in case of emergencies, she thought to herself as she wrote out her message:

"Twi, SOS. Dis got hit w/Love Arrow. Crazy in luv w/Tia. Need antidote ASAP. PLEAZ HURRY!" She then hit the send button and sighed when she saw that the message has been sent.

"What do we do now?" asked Babs.

"I guess the best we could do is try to keep Discord still until Twilight gets here with the antidote," Illustre answered. The two of them then rushed off after Discord, and the rest of the CMCs joined up with them a little later on in the chase.

This is a songfic with a parody (sort of) of the song Lay All Your Love on Me from Mamma Mia! which I don't own. Some parts are Pepe le Pew parodies; some I made up on my own. Other than that, enjoy.

Ch.4: Lay All Your Love on Me

Inside her castle library, Princess Twilight Sparkle was busy reading an interesting romance story that Illustre brought for her to read. Since it's Hearts and Hooves Day, she decided to let Spike spend some time with Rarity. It would be nice if he has the day off to spend some quality time with the filly of his dreams.

Despite the book she's reading a real page-turner, Twilight couldn't help but think about her earlier discussion with Discord before he left to visit Celestia.

"You know, Twilight," Discord teased Twilight who's got her nose stuck in the book, "you should really consider having a romantic get-together of your own with a fine stallion of your own rather than hanging out in your library for Hearts and Hooves Day. I'm certain a Princess like you must have a lot of suitors by now. Why not invite that handsome Pegasus from the Crystal Empire over for a visit? What did you say his name was? Flash Sentry?" Twilight turned to him with slightly pink cheeks.

"Discord, I don't have a crush on him," she assured him. "He just reminds me of the other Flash Sentry from the human world."

"I don't know~" he replied with a shrug. "I still think you two would make a cute couple when you think about it."

"Since when did you become such a romantic?" Twilight laughed with an arched eyebrow.

"Since I lost that bet with Rarity and had to read every single one of those romance novels in your library." The Alicorn blinked at the reminder.

"Oh…right."

"Anyway, not one for making sense, but just give it a bit of thought, okay?" Discord asked. "As for me, I have to vamoose over to Celestia's place. I'll be sure to say hi to her for ya." And with a snap and a flash, he was gone.

"Hmm…" Twilight said to herself as she set her book down for a bit. "Maybe I should take Discord's advice. It would be nice to get to know this world's Flash Sentry. Who knows; he might be just like Human Flash Sentry." She then took out a parchment and quill and started to write out her letter to Shining Armor and Cadence asking if they can send Flash over so that she can get to know him better.

Just as she was finishing the third line of her letter, a little tune started playing to make her stop and turn to her side table where her lavender iPhone with her Cutie Mark on it was ringing. Illustre asked Discord to make her, Spike, and the girls their own iPhones so she can call or text them whenever she needs to. And each phone is the same color as its owner with her Cutie Mark on it (Spike's is green and flame-patterned, of course). Wondering what's up, Twilight brought her iPhone over to find she just got a message from Illustre. So she then opened it:

"Twi, SOS. Dis got hit w/Love Arrow. Crazy in luv w/Tia. Need antidote ASAP. PLEAZE HURRY!"

Twilight nearly dropped the phone in shock. Discord got hit with Love Arrow and has fallen in love with Celestia. Judging from the text, it can't be good; something must have affected the arrow in a bad way. Quickly, she got up from her pillows and raced out of the library.

"Good thing I've created that antidote arrow in case of an emergency."

Back with Celestia, she has just found herself trapped in the arms of the lovestruck Discord just outside the garden entrance.

"Come now, mon pink swan," he cooed. "Let's be grown up about zis zing; we are powerless to fight it."

"By 'we'," she stated firmly, "you mean 'I' because you took away my magic and my flying." He only kissed her cheek with a chuckle as she squirmed and struggled.

"No need to hide your emo-shions, cherie," he purred. "I know you want to be my blushing bride." Celestia's face went red as she shot him a shocked look and tried to push him back.

"Bride?! Now this is going too far!" And she pushed him away to make another break for it. Discord only chuckled before hopping after her.

"I get a keek out of her," he said to the reader before some singers in far background starting the musical number, Illustre and the Cutie Mark Crusaders chasing after Discord.

Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

In Ponyville, the red teenage dragon Garble was on his date with Fluttershy at the café, whispering cute things into her ear that made her giggle and blush to make her more adorable in his eyes. Then Twilight rushed into the scene with a saddle pack on her back and frantically told them what happened. Shocked, the two first-daters rushed off after her to find the others.

As this was going on, Celestia tried to hide in a covered carriage outside her castle. However, Discord appeared beside her, stating how sweet she'd look in a carriage built for two before stealing a kiss from her. She only ran off with him in pursuit as he started singing the song.

I wasn't jealous before we met

Now every stallion I see is a potential threat

Now I'm possessive, it isn't nice

You've heard dragons say that smoking was his only vice

In Ponyville, Twilight's trio ran into Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner. Hearing what's going on, she tossed her plate of pink-heart cupcakes into the air, and each cupcake landed neatly in front of a happily surprised Pony. As Pinkie then ran off with the trio, giggling Pound and Pumpkin Cake held up playing blocks, each showing the number 10 on it.

Simultaneously, Celestia stops beside a building to catch her breath, not knowing that a large, plump, red rose appeared in her mane. Then Discord's head seeped out of its center before planting a kiss on her cheek. In reply, the surprised Celestia knocked the rose off and ran off again. But Discord only came out of the rose with ease and went after her.

But with me, it isn't true

'Cause everything is new

And all you've learned

Has overturned

I beg of you

During the "lover's chase", Illustre and the CMCs chased after them, unknowingly singing the chorus with Discord, said Draconequus taking the lead.

Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

In Ponyville, Twilight's group stopped when they reached Applejack, who was selling home-baked Hearts and Hooves Day treats with Big Mac. Twilight told the cow-filly what's going on, and Applejack joined them without hesitation, her brother waving good lucky after her.

Meanwhile, Celestia decided to hide behind a newspaper at café table. But Discord was right next to her with his own paper and dressed like James Bond, asking her suavely if she like's some sugar with her tea. Frightened, Celestia threw her paper at him and ran off. But he simply gave chase once more.

It was like shooting a sitting duck

A little small talk, a smile and bebe, I was stuck

I still don't know what you've done with me

The Master of Chaos should never fall so easily

In Ponyville, Twilight and the others rushed into the Carousel Boutique and explained to Rarity and Spike what's happening. In reply, Rarity fainted into Spike's arms before coming around quickly and rushing out with the others to find Rainbow Dash. Spike rushed out as well, annoyed that something had to come up and ruin his Hearts and Hooves Day with Rarity.

Simultaneously, Celestia tried to loose Discord in a dancing square. Unfortunately, she found herself running into the Draconequus' arms before being pulled into a tango with him. The other dancers just watched with amazement at the sudden couple in their romantic dance.

I feel a kind of fear

When I don't have you near

Unsatisfied

I skip my pride

I beg you, dear

Some pairs joined in the chorus as they tangoed alongside Discord and Celestia. Thinking this is all part of some show, the crowds cheered for them (mostly Discord and Celestia) with zeal. After a tango dip/kiss from Discord, Celestia zipped out of his grasp, and he went after her.

Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

Don't go sharing your devotion

Lay all your love on me

In Ponyville, our heroes found Rainbow Dash reclining by the river and reading a Daring Do novel while Tank was munching on his favorite salad and wearing his favorite sunglasses. When Twilight told her about what happened, Rainbow calmly put her book aside before puking behind her reclining chair while Tank ducked into his shell, not wanting to see his owner puke. After Rainbow was okay, she joined her friends in their quest, as did her tortoise.

As this was going on, Celestia stopped and hid in a dark alley to catch her breath before spotting a potted plant before her. Hesitant on what to do with it, she grabbed it and held it above her head at the sound of Discord calling out to her. When he appeared and turned to her, she smashed the pot on his head to knock him to the ground. But he only looked up at her with stars flying around his soil-and-plant-covered head and called her a flirt with a smirk. Shocked that it didn't work, Celestia ran back to her castle, and Discord gave chase once more as the ruined plant burst into a bouquet of colorful flowers, which Illustre caught as she and the CMCs chased after them.

Some had a few little love affairs

They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce

We used to think that we're sensible

It makes the truth even more incomprehensible

Soon, Celestia was trapped in the palace labyrinth with Discord searching for her and Illustre and her little friends trying to catch him. And our heroes meanwhile were hurrying over to Canterlot with a little help from an all-group flying spell Twilight picked up from Discord (she'll thank him when he's back to normal).

'Cause everything is new

And everything is you

And all we've learned

Has overturned

What can we do?

As Celestia and Discord were rushing about in the maze, Illustre and the CMCs unknowingly joined into the chorus once more while trying to find them.

Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

Don't go sharing your devotion

Lay all your love on me

As they got close to the capital city, Twilight and the others unknowingly joined in on the chorus as well. No doubt it's all Discord's doing.

Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

Don't go sharing your devotion

Lay all your love on me

As the song ended, Celestia soon reached an area within the labyrinth with a pond. Her body begging for rest, breath, and water, she went up to it slowly and drank with relief.

I've finally given Discord the slip, she thought to herself with a smile. It will take him hours to find me in this maze. But when she opened her eyes after finishing her drink, she saw her pursuer's reflection in the water's surface, causing her to shoot her head up and see Discord next to her, dressed like Zorro.

"'Ello, bebe," he purred with a smile. Celestia was left dumbfounded; he did find her through the labyrinth! But her exhaustion was too much for her, so she fainted with a soft moan before Discord caught her with his skunk tail. As she drifted off to slumber, she smiled softly and nuzzled into the coziness of his large, soft tail.

"Oh, zis impetuous one," Discord purred softly before scooping her up into his arms bridal style. "She's so relieved at seeing me again zat she fainted." As he said this, Illustre and the CMCs entered the area and spotted him and Celestia.

"There they are!" Illustre cried. She then ran to catch, but Discord had already vanished in a flash, causing her to crash into a patch of flowers. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"Illustre, are you okay?" She and the girls looked up to see the Mane Six, Tank, Spike, and Garble flying towards them.

"Twilight!" Illustre cried, hopping to her feet as they alighted before her. "Oh, man! Am I glad to see you; this whole Love Arrow thing is getting crazier by the minute! And not in a good way, mind you."

"What happened?" Twilight asked. "How did the girls' Love Arrow hit Discord?"

"And what the hay's with that tail?" Applejack added.

"I did tell Discord that black looks quite slimming on him," Rarity concurred, "but I think the skunk tail might be overdoing it, even with the white stripe."

"Well, Sweetie Belle and I were excited about giving Discord and Princess Celestia their Hearts and Hooves Day gifts," Babs answered, "so we ran up to them when we found them."

"But then I tripped," Sweetie Belle answered sheepishly, "and the arrow fell out of my grasp and hit Discord by accident. So he's acting just a teeny-tiny bit nutty over Celestia since she's the first thing he saw after getting hit."

"Teeny-tiny?" Scootaloo replied. "After all we've gone through, it was more like humungo-jumbo!"

"Scoot!" Apple Bloom hissed, elbowing her.

"Was it really that bad?" asked Fluttershy.

"I recorded the whole thing on my iPhone," Illustre answered, bringing said phone out. "Take a look on this one part." She then showed them one part of the video in which Discord started acting like Pepe le Pew towards Celestia right after getting hit with the arrow. Seeing Discord like that, Rainbow, Pinkie, Spike, and Garble snorted and snickered before finally loosing it and falling to the ground laughing.

"Oh, my ga-ha-ha! It hurts! It hur-hur-hurts…"

"I…I can't…breathe…"

"Guys, this is serious!" Twilight snapped at the laughing four. "Princess Celestia's in serious trouble with Discord acting like…uh, Illustre, what's the name of that skunk from your world again? And why is Discord acting like him?"

"Pepe le Pew," the artist/writer answered. "As for his acting like that, that was totally my bad. See, before the accident, the arrow fell into a muddy puddle, so we had to wash it off. And I spritzed it with my new Pepe le Pew perfume, in case it might've gotten…ya know, smelly. I think it might've affected the arrow when I did that."

"It sure does sound like it," Twilight replied before turning to her saddle pack and taking out a silver arrow. "But don't you worry. All I have to do is hit Discord with this antidote arrow, and he'll be back to normal."

"Will it cause any side effects?"

"It may cause him to get woozy, but not woozy enough to make him…ya know…"

"Puke? Okay, I'm cool with that. Just one small problem…we don't know where he and Celestia went."

"Don't worry; Discord taught me a location spell a while back. It will help me pinpoint his current location if I need to find him." She then closed her eyes as her horn glowed with its violet aura, and the others waited patiently. After a minute, the horn stopped glowing, and she opened her eyes again.

"He's taken Celestia to her bedroom…and I saw her in a wedding veil."

"Uh-oh," Spike and Garble said simultaneously as Rainbow threw up in her mouth.

"Not good," Illustre replied. "Let's go!" They all then rushed for the castle, leaving Tank behind with the CMCs.

Okay, what you're about to read here is a parody of a scene from Platinum Wheel of Fortune from the TV show Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries (I don't own it; it belongs to WB), the one with Pepe's fourth cousin Peter le Pew. Also another Pepe le Pew parody and a parody of the scene from the MLP episode Hearts and Hooves Day will be in this one also. I own nothing but the parodies and my Pony form. Enjoy (And no, I'm not done yet).

Ch.5: Romance & Rescue

As she started to come around, Celestia couldn't help but notice the familiar feeling of the silk pillows of her bed. With fluttering eyelashes, she opened her eyes slowly and found herself in her bedroom.

But…how did she end up here? All she remembered was enjoying a tea picnic with Discord before he got hit with the Love Arrow…then he was acting romantic towards her and chasing her all over the place…then she fainted onto his skunk tail…

The pieces falling into place, Celestia rose up her head and noticed something from the corner of her eye. She turned to see that its her mirror, but her reflection shocked her. She has on a lovely white wedding gown much like Cadence's wedding gown but with a golden touch. And on her head is a wedding veil with a crown of white roses.

"Wha-What?" she gasped as she looked herself over. "Why am I dressed like a bride?" Just then, she heard the door opened and turned to see Discord at the doorway, dressed in a white tuxedo.

"Oui, dahling," he purred, sniffing a red rose, "I know ze groom must not see his bride before ze ceremony…" He then dashed forward and tackled her onto her soft pillows, earning a cry from her while gathering her into his embrace. "But my lips cannot wait for yours for une autre seconde."

"Discord, stop it!" Celestia begged, struggling as he peppered here with ticklish kisses on her face and neck. "Ah! You know I'm ticklish there!" Discord respectfully removed his lips from her ticklish neck only to kiss her lips gently, earning a pink blush from her.

"Soon we shall be ze marié et mariée," he purred, gently trailing his talons down the side of her cheek. "Name ze day our wedding bells shall ring, my beloved mare."

"Discord, please!" Celestia begged, still struggling. "You know this isn't you!" He only gave her a sly smirk.

"Going to make me guess, are you?" He then moved his eagle claw down to her stomach. "Well, deux can play at zat game…especially when I know of another ticklish spot of yours~" Celestia became scared now, especially since he's holding her with his lion arm.

"No…Discord, not there…anything but that!" In reply, the Prench-speaking Discord started to tickle her stomach gently.

"Gitchi-gitchi-goo…"

"AH! Hahahahaha! Discord, nohohohohoho!" She started to kick her back legs frantically as Discord wrapped his skunk tail around the two of them, still tickling her stomach as he gently kissed the other ticklish spot on her neck. As he did, Illustre and the Mane Six came into the room unbeknownst to the two on the bed.

"Oh, you got to be kidding me…" Twilight groaned as Applejack tipped her hat over her eyes awkwardly.

"Uh, Shy, could you excuse me for a sec?" Garble asked Fluttershy as he covered his mouth. "I gotta use the bathroom." The yellow Pegasus gave him an understanding nod/smile.

"What?" Rainbow asked, turning to him with annoyance. "Ya gotta—" She stopped when she realized what he's talking about. "Ohhhhhh…" She then pointed down the hall outside the bedroom. "Third door on the right; ya can't miss it."

"Thanks," he replied before dashing out for the bathroom.

"Can we just get on with this please?" Spike asked with a facepalm. "This is getting too weird for me."

"Okay," Twilight replied, taking out the silver arrow. "Illustre, where did the Love Arrow hit Discord?"

"Where his tail meets his butt." Rainbow snorted in reply and tried to keep in her laughter, as did the giggling Pinkie.

"It hit him…in the butt?" Illustre and Rarity rolled their eyes in annoyance.

"Can we hold the butt puns for after we've cured Discord?"

Twilight then went up to Discord and Celestia with the arrow and with her magic, struck him with it where Illustre said he was struck before. They all watched as a white aura glowed from the antidote arrow and flew across Discord. Then his skunk tail shrunk to his regular red snake tail, his black skunk ears became long and tan-gray again, and the tuff of black-and-white hair vanished. When it did, Discord stopped his tickling and kissing Celestia and looked a little dizzy.

"Huh? Oh, what happened?" He then lifted up his head and shook it to clear it before looking down to see Celestia panting and giggling. "Celestia…" She then looked up at him.

"Discord…" The others looked as though they're holding their breath, hoping he's back to normal…

"Are you wearing a wedding dress and veil?" he asked, pointing at the veil.

"Yes," she answered, hoping that he's alright as well. He then looked down at himself.

"Am I wearing a white tux?"

"Yes." He then turned to her with an arched eyebrow.

"Was I…tickling your stomach and kissing your neck a moment ago?"

"Yes."

"And…are we lying on your bed?"

"Yes." Discord then turned to see the others standing behind him and Celestia.

"Uh, guys," he then asked. "Why in the name of chaos does it look like Celestia and I are getting married in her bedroom?" They all breathed a sigh of relief. The antidote arrow worked!

"Well," Illustre explained sheepishly, "ya see, the CMCs accidentally hit you with a Love Arrow—"

"It hit ya on the butt," Rainbow stated with an amused smile, which became an understanding frown when Illustre gave her a glare. "Shutting up."

"As I was saying," the Unicorn said to Discord, "You accidentally got hit by a Love Arrow which I sprayed with my Pepe le Pew perfume so it doesn't stink. So you were…how do I put it? Plus fou que d'habitude towards Princess Celestia because she was the first mare you saw after getting hit."

"Pepe le Pew?" Discord asked as he and Celestia sat up from her bed. "Ya mean that Prench skunk guy always pursuing that black cat with a white stripe on her back because he thinks she's a skunk too?"

"Yup," Applejack answered.

"And I was acting like him?"

"See for yourself," Illustre answered, holding up her iPhone for him. She then played a video for him.

"Ahh, ma dahling, you smell of ze sweetest garden in ze bloom of ze spring. Mwah, mwah, mwahmwahmwah."

"DISCORD! Stop it!"

"Ah, ze adora-shion…ah, ze pa-shion…ah, ze moments of dezire, n'est-pas? Mwah, mwah, mwah." Discord's bottom jaw dropped to the floor (literally) as Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike fell to the floor laughing their heads off.

"You got to be kidding me…"

"Oh, man!" Rainbow laughed hysterically. "I'm never gonna get tired of that!" Discord then turned to Pam with a gulp.

"Please tell me I didn't do the hopping."

"You did," she answered bluntly, showing him another video. Seeing himself hopping after Celestia like Pepe le Pew, Discord buried his face into his hands with a groan as Rainbow laughed more hysterically.

"As if reading all of those romance novels from losing that bet with Rarity wasn't bad enough…" Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack then went up to him to comfort him.

"Aw, don't be glum, sugar cube," Applejack explained with a smile. "It turned out ahright in the end; yer back to normal."

"And you have to admit," Rarity added. "You looked a little adorable doing that hop."

"It reminds me of Pinkie's hopping," Fluttershy added.

"She's right, ya know!" Pinkie replied, hopping around herself. Discord then looked up at them with a small smile.

"Thanks, girls," he said before turning to Twilight. "And thanks, Twilight, for snapping me out of it."

"Just glad to have our Discord back and not Pepe le Discord anymore." They laughed at the last part before Discord turned to Celestia with a frown.

"And I'm sorry, Celestia," he said to her. "I didn't mean to freak you out like that. If you want me to stay away from you for a while, I understand."

"Actually, Discord," the white Alicorn replied with a smile, "this was the most fun Hearts and Hooves Day I ever had."

"It was?" everyone else asked in simultaneous surprise.

"Just to have my opposite showering me with romance like Pepe le Pew from Illustre's world was an exciting experience for me. And when I think about it, it was like I was in an actual Pepe le Pew parody, a true romantic comedy."

"Yeah, it was kinda fun," Discord laughed with her before frowning. "Still…is there anything I can at least do to make it up to you?" Celestia then thought about it.

"Well, Luna wanted to perform a meteor shower for the couples tonight. I would enjoy having you accompany me to watch it instead of my guards." Discord blushed in reply.

"You mean…as your…date?" Celestia smiled in reply.

"I think dating should be given the chance before we start on any wedding plans," she stated, pointing at her wedding veil. Discord smirked slyly before taking her hoof with his lion paw.

"Mais oui, ma cherie," he purred with wagging eyebrows. Celestia giggled in reply as he then kissed her hoof.

"Oh, brother," Illustre and Spike groaned with simultaneous facepalm/face-hoof as Garble came back from his feeling sick in the bathroom.

"Man, I'm gonna need a bucket of breath mints after that one. So what did I miss?"

Here's the epilogue of my fanfic. And today's my birthday as well. It would be awesome if someone on deviantart makes a comic of this. Anyway enjoy. Oh, and the Gryphon is from Quest for Camelot which I don't own, and everything else (save my OC) belongs to Hasbro and Warner Brothers, including the parodies.

Epilogue: Uh-Oh…

It's now the next day, and Illustre was strolling through the streets of Ponyville with Rainbow Dash.

"Man," the rainbow Pegasus sighed with a smile, "I'm so glad things are back to normal with Celestia and Discord. I can't help but get the feeling the poor guy's now the laughing stock in Canterlot after the whole fiasco."

"Not really," Illustre stated. "I heard from Twilight that's he's gotten quite popular with some of the couples last night; they were practically begging him for tango lessons." The two of them laughed in reply before the Unicorn turned to Rainbow with an arched eyebrow. "Say, Rainbow, you don't think Discord is gonna get back at ya for laughing at him for acting like Pepe le Pew, are you?"

"Aw, c'mon, Illustre," the Pegasus answered. "It's not like he's gonna pull another Love Arrow fiasco on me." Just then, she was tackled by a blur of black and gold with a cry.

"What the—" Illustre turned to see that the blur was Lionwing, the Gryphon from Quest for Camelot. And he was holding the surprised Rainbow Dash in a dip, a flirty smile on his face.

"Ah, my dahling," he purred to her with a Prench accent, "it iz love at first sight, iz it not, non?"

"Huh?" she replied with confusion. "What? What are ya—DYAH! Hey! Cut it out!" Lionwing suddenly started to kiss her on the face and neck. "Dude, quit it!"

"Oh, how beautiful you are," Lionwing purred, nuzzling her blushing cheek with his beak. "It iz an affair that we love each other madly." Rainbow then struggled more to get out of his strong grip as he peppered her with kisses again.

"Illustre, a little help here?" she called out to her friend. The Unicorn stepped forward to help before she noticed it. Lionwing's lion tail is now a large, soft skunk tail! She then looked at his head to find that his "ear" feathers are now skunk ears, and between them sat a tuff of black hair topped with a white stripe…Just like Discord was!

"Uh, Rainbow, I think we're experiencing déjà-vous here."

"Huh?" she replied before noticing the skunk features as well. "Oh, no! Don't tell me somepony hit him with a Love Arrow sprayed with that Pepe le Pew perfume!"

"Looks like it," Illustre answered bluntly, plucking the arrow from Lionwing's butt before showing it to her. Rainbow's face went pale when she saw it.

"Are you kidding me?!" She then turned to Lionwing who then looked down at her with a purr.

"I know a tryst leetle spot where we can be alone…"

"AUUGGH!" Rainbow shot out of his grasp and into the air, leaving behind some smoke taking the shape of a heart. Lionwing simply shot into the air after her through the heart, leaving behind a trail of smoke taking the shape of an arrow. Illustre only watched them in the air awkwardly as she listened to them.

"Heeelp! Somepony get this nutcase off my tail!"

"Hey, cherie! Wait for bebe!"

"I wonder how this got him?" Illustre asked herself, returning her attention to the arrow.

"Wow, that Pepe le Pew perfume really does affect the arrow." Hearing a familiar voice, the writer/artist turned to a familiar Master of Chaos, holding a bow in his hand and a quiver of Love Arrows on his back.

"Discord? What the stinkin' hay did you do now?!" She then pointed at the quiver. "And…are those more Love Arrows?!"

"Made them myself," he stated with gleeful pride. "Work like a charm, don't they, these Pepe le Pew Love Arrows?"

"But…where did you get the perfume to affect them? It can only be found in my world, and I'm the only one with the bottle!"

"Are you?" he asked with a sneaky smirk. That's when Illustre remembered that she gave Rarity a bottle of the perfume a while back.

"You stole the bottle I gave Rarity?!"

"Borrowed," he corrected her. "I only gave my arrows a couple of spritzs of it before putting it back to where it was before, so even Rarity wouldn't noticed. It's enough to make the effect work. And don't worry; I've made some antidote arrows as well just in case."

"Why in the world would you want to make those kinds of Love Arrows?" Illustre demanded. "You knew yourself what trouble they cause!"

"Well, after yesterday's little accident," Discord answered with an amused shrug, "I thought maybe for the next Hearts and Hooves Days to come, I can play the chaotic cupid. And don't worry; that one I used before was just me testing them out to make sure they work."

"That," Illustre replied bluntly while pointing up at the sky, "and you wanna get back at Rainbow Dash for laughing at ya for acting like Pepe le Pew."

"Yeah, that too," he answered sheepishly as he looked up at Rainbow and Lionwing having their "lover's chase". "But you told me yourself that they'd be perfect for each other when I think about it." Illustre then looked up at them with a growing smile.

"Yeah…I did tell ya that, didn't I?" She then turned to Discord with a mischievous smirk as an idea came to her. "Say, Discord, I know you said you're saving them for next year's Hearts and Hooves Day, but…how about we use one more arrow on someone else for some fun?" Discord turned to her with surprise but returned the smirk when he saw the glimmer of chaotic fun he likes in her eye.

"Who do you have in mind?"

"Ahuizotl. I wanna see how Daring will react when he gets all romantique with her." She then brought out her iPhone. "Plus, with a video of it, I can help Rainbow beat Twilight in that bet. That girl refused to admit that those two make an awesome pair just because she can't appreciate shipping."

"Hmm…I am curious about how big his skunk tail would be with that long tail of his." He then lowered himself to Illustre's level so that she could climb onto his back. "Hop on!" Illustre did, and he took off for the jungle where Daring Do and Ahuizotl live and fight.

"Hey, Discord, I've been meaning to ask you this. You mentioned something yesterday about loosing a bet with Rarity. What was that bet?"

"That Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon have a thing for each other. Don't get me wrong; I'm okay with same-sex romances. But when those two started kissing each other…Well, let's just say I just made myself feel aaawkwaaard."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that."

"I know; that's what Rarity said."

"Speaking of Rarity, what's she to do if you did win the bet?"

"Dye Opalescence's fur a color I picked out."

"Let me guess. Puce?"

"No, royal purple. Y'know, to match Rare's mane?"

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is still trying to escape the lovestruck Pepe le Lionwing.

"This will probably be what you readers would call the here-we-go-again ending!"