Chapter 5: Wronged

Modern Day…

At first, Luna remained silent. She would nod occasionally during Astelle's recollection, but she never interrupted. Astelle waited impatiently for her initial response. She had expected some retaliation, perhaps even some hatred from Luna but none came. She began to wonder if perhaps Luna could see past Celestia's lies and see the truth in Astelle's words. If she could make her believe that all she wanted was Luna's acceptance and love maybe…. Just maybe…

"It seems to me you are both at fault, then." Luna spoke finally shattering the silence.

Astelle looked to her then down again.

"Yes, I think there is blame on both sides, but…"

"I'm not finished." Luna said abruptly. Astelle was effectively silenced after that.

"What you did, and what you tried to do was wrong. You do know that, right?" Luna asked.

Astelle opened her mouth to answer, but she did not want to tell a lie. The lines for good and evil, right and wrong were blurred to her.

"What I did, I felt was best." Astelle finally answered.

"Best for who? For you?" Luna asked.

"No, not just for me, Luna! For everypony! Don't you see? Every threat Equestria has had to endure has its roots in magic. Without magic, Equestria would never have had to face Discord, Sombra, Tirek, Chrysalis—"

"And me." Luna finished.

"It wasn't you, Luna. It was magic." Astelle reassured.

"But it wasn't just any magic either. It was YOUR magic that changed me into the nightmare, and you tried to do the same once you'd returned." Luna accused.

"I'm not blameless, but you have to believe me when I say I did not know my magic was capable of changing you in that way. The anger and the bitterness in you drew it to you because it recognized that feeling. You are my sister, we share the same blood and it was drawn to you thinking it was me." Astelle said.

"So… you believe magic is alive? That it has a conscious?" Luna asked.

"No." Astelle said.

"But you just said the magic was drawn to me, 'thinking' it was you."

"I misspoke. I only meant that your energy was the force that drew it in. I had not intended that purpose of my magic. I created my magic to be the opposite of elemental magic. I created it… just to destroy it." Astelle said.

"Then it makes you a hypocrite?"

"In that sense, yes I suppose it does." Astelle answered.

"So was it worth it after all? You are without magic now; you must know how it feels to get what you wanted." Luna said vaguely interested.

"I would not wish my existence in any form on any pony except Celestia." Astelle said.

"Then by that logic, you know now that a world without magic is wrong." Luna clarified.

Astelle was silent for a moment, thinking on those words. She didn't know what she believed anymore. She wasn't sure what kind of revenge she would ever want to take, or ever could. Pain had taken anger's place in her heart and her drive to destroy magic was all but gone. Magic wasn't the enemy in her eyes anymore; Celestia was. Though even if she could destroy Celestia, she knew it would feel empty. If Celestia died, that would mean she would get to know peace; the kind of peace Astelle wished for. If she allowed Celestia to live, it would seem as though all the pain she had caused would forever go unpunished and would torment Astelle more. No matter what, Astelle would never be the 'winner.'

"I no longer wish to rid the world of magic." Astelle said truthfully.

"And I'm expected to believe this?" Luna said cautiously.

"You may believe what you wish, dear Luna, I only can offer you the truth of my words and the promise that I will not deceive you." Astelle whispered.

"Then what is it you want, Astelle?" Luna asked.

Astelle shook her head uncertainly.

"I don't know anymore."

"Do you want to be loved?"

Astelle looked up at Luna, surprised by the question. It was as if Luna could see past all the pain and longing and into what she most desired: the love of her littlest sister. She was so used to being let down that the thought didn't penetrate her mind. She had put up too many walls to ever let her guard down again.

"I knew your Shadow, you know." Luna said.

Astelle nodded. He had told her the stories of their youth together but she didn't want to interrupt Luna now.

"He taught me that the greatest thing worth fighting for is love." Luna started. "He was banished with me to the moon and kept me company for all those years. We spent nearly two millennium together but all he could ever think about was you. Getting you back, getting you free, getting after Celestia, and finding your amulet… it was exhausting to listen to. You two had maybe a few years together before you were banished? And yet 2,000 years with me did not tarnish his love for YOU."

Astelle looked up at Luna with a dark and unforgiving expression. Luna was frightened even though she knew Astelle could do nothing to really harm her.

"Shadow told me he never spoke a word of me to you, Luna." Astelle whispered through clenched teeth.

"I… he… didn't." Luna whispered. "I mean I only figured out he was talking about you after all of this happened, I had no idea what he was talking about back then."

"You're lying." Astelle snarled.

"No! I'm not! I never said a word!" Luna whispered and then shook her head. "H-he never said a word!"

Astelle looked behind Luna at her shadow and watched it intently. After a minute of awkward silence, Astelle noticed the shadow move when Luna did not. Astelle let out a timid gasp and put her hooves to her chest. It was all a lie. Luna coming to comfort her, pretending to listen and understand, none of it was real.

"How could you…" Astelle hissed. "How COULD YOU?"

Luna reared away from Astelle in confusion and fear.

"Don't pretend you aren't there, Shadow, I can see you!" Astelle screamed.

"Shadow?" Luna asked, turning to see Shadow's red eyes within her own shadow. "How did you…"

"You pathetic weak little MONSTER!" Astelle screamed.

Shadow pulled himself away from Luna's shadow and appeared beside her with his ears flat. Luna looked over at him and gasped in surprise.

"How… what… what's going on?" Luna asked, putting a hoof to her head.

"GET HER AWAY FROM ME!" Astelle screamed, bolting from the room.

"What… I…" Luna started but Shadow had bolted after Astelle.

"Astelle, wait!" Shadow called to her.

Astelle was racing as far from him as possible, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was angry that she ever let herself believe that Luna could ever want to love her. She had not meant to put so much faith in that relationship, but now she finally felt she had reached the end of her tolerance.

"What happened?! You were connecting!" Shadow asked, appearing in front of Astelle.

"You…" Astelle snarled. "You pathetic waste of magic…"

Shadow backed away from her in fear.

"Wh-what did I do?"

"You know EXACTLY what you did you… you… monster!" Astelle cried. "You had to hypnotize Luna just to get her to talk to me?"

"Hypnotize? No! Luna came here on her own, all I did was ask her to—"

"You don't expect me to believe that, do you? I saw the traces of your magic in her eyes and the moment you left she looked at me as if she were staring down the face of a villain." Astelle said.

"But Astelle, all I was trying to do was.."

"NO! You don't get to talk!" Astelle snapped. "You are the greatest mistake I have ever made. Everything I have ever asked of you, you fail me. You're a pathetic weak little blunder of a spell that should never have been created in the first place."

Shadow was walking away from Astelle now, tears forming in his eyes. She couldn't mean that, could she?

"You claim to love me? HAH! I never loved you, nor will I ever love you. What exactly do you think the goal of magical destruction meant for you, Shadow?" Astelle asked rhetorically. "You were supposed to DIE that day along with any other trace of magic on this planet."

Shadow paused, taking a moment to let that sink in.

"You… wanted to kill me? You were going to betray me?" Shadow asked incredulously. "All I ever wanted was to make you happy, Astelle. I just… I thought…"

"You thought what, that you could change my mind?" Astelle laughed. "Or didn't you ever take the time to figure it out? You're a spell, Shadow. Once magic was gone you were supposed to go with it."

Shadow began to cry. Little streams of tears trickled down his cheeks.

"But… I…"

"You actually believed you were a pony, didn't you? That you would survive a magical apocalypse and become mortal?" Astelle asked. "Hah! Your delusion is far more pathetic than I realized."

Shadow let out a pained whimper and shrank into the ground in two-dimensional form.

"I don't ever want to see you again, do you hear me?!" Astelle shouted to him. "Leave me and never come back!"

Shadow disappeared into the shadow of the rubble in the castle and was gone. Astelle stood motionless for a few minutes, trying to process everything that had just happened. Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt the first few drops of rain. She didn't even bother to move before rain came pouring into the great hall. Though her mind had been crowded and her decisions unclear up until this point, they had finally formed a solid decision. Astelle knew without any doubt what she wanted to do next, and this anger she felt was keeping the added pain away. She would have to act fast if she were to keep the anger going; she couldn't imagine doing anything once the pain had hit.

2,000 years ago….

Astelle and Shadow had traveled throughout the forest aimlessly for weeks. She didn't like to stay in one place for too long because she feared she might be discovered before she was ready to return to her throne. After wandering for hours, they happened upon a road leading into the city. Astelle paused and stared at the road incredulously wondering how they had come so close to the castle without her knowledge. She heard the familiar sound of a cart approaching and she backed up and into the trees. She opened her wings and beckoned shadow towards her. He sunk into the ground and traveled up her leg to hide under her right wing. Astelle tucked in her wings and cast a spell on herself. She changed the color of her mane and coat and hid her wings under a dark cloak in case she was discovered.

As the cart passed by, Astelle caught sight of a banner that piqued her interest. She stepped out from the shadows and held out a hoof

"Stop." She said aloud.

The pony pulling the cart was caught off guard by her sudden appearance and stopped abruptly. The wares in his cart jostled about and he turned to scold her for surprising him but instead smiled softly. Although she had disguised herself, she was still a lovely sight to behold.

"Why, hello there young mare. What are you doing so far from the city?"

"What is this?" Astelle asked ignoring his question and pointing to the banner on his cart.

"Why, it is the symbol of the princess of course." The stallion laughed.

"The princess?" Astelle asked curiously.

"Who hasn't heard of Princess Celestia?"

"Princes… Celestia?" Astelle gasped. She looked again at the banner and noted the symbol of the sun. It looked nothing like her own cutie mark which depicted a gem with moons and stars.

"The ruler of Equestria of course." The stallion said slowly, noting her reaction curiously.

"So she took over while the Queen is… away." Astelle assumed.

"No…" the stallion stammered. "The Queen was banished and Starswirl the Bearded had to take another apprentice."

Astelle's stomach dropped, the blood drained from her face and she felt her heart race. Shadow could feel the beating of her heart and whimpered from his hiding place.

"Are you alright?" the stallion asked.

Astelle fought back tears and turned away from the pony heading back into the forest.

"Was it something I said?" the stallion called after her sadly.

Days later…

It was true, it was all true. Astelle had not wanted to believe it and hoped instead that the traveling merchant was mistaken. Just to be sure, she had wandered into the city wearing her disguise and inquired other ponies; all with the same story. Not only had Starswirl forsaken her, the ponies of Canterlot did as well. Her own sister had assumed the throne and the responsibilities of magical apprenticeship. When she asked about herself, the Queen, it caused the ponies to scoff or turn up their noses. They were told she had abandoned them and they wanted nothing more to do with her. It was as if her entire world had come crashing down around her and she hadn't even realized it.

The shock of this news caused a strange reaction in Astelle. She had assumed that learning something like this would cause her great sorrow. She thought she would need days on end to weep and wail until she finally would crawl back to what was once her throne, begging to be welcomed again by the ponies she loved.

However, the feelings that arose in Astelle now were not those of sorrow. Instead, she felt a deep and unquenchable anger. It was frightening at first to be consumed by it, but as time wore on she embraced it. Anger fueled her quest for magic, different magic. Now that she no longer occupied herself with the creation of love spells she expanded her practice to all manner of forbidden magical practices.

Shadow felt incredibly helpless. He could only watch in sadness as his mistress spent her days confined in caves or secluded places of the forest pouring her every waking moment into magic. She used to be so calm and inviting, but now she barely recognized his presence at all. The toll of this news could be visibly seen on Astelle's face. Her once brilliantly bright eyes had dulled and she had bags under them indicating a great lack of sleep. Shadow tried his best to distract her from this constant state of obsession but every attempt he made had failed.

"Not now Shadow." Astelle snapped, pushing Shadow away with her hoof when he attempted to crawl up onto her back as he always had. She didn't even hear the whimper sound he made when she rejected him. Her attention was focusing on an emerald she had found deep in the cavern where they were hiding. The gem floated in the air, dark swirls of red and black magic pouring into it from Astelle's horn and amulet.

Shadow whimpered and tried again, not liking the effect this magic was taking on her. He slithered along the ground and up his mistress's leg until he could rest on her back, peeking at the magic she was performing.

Astelle growled, but was too concentrated on the spell to swat him away. The emerald began to spin with each wave of magic pouring into it. Astelle's breathing hastened and she began to sweat. It appeared to Shadow that she was undergoing something physically draining although she wasn't moving a muscle.

"Come on…. Come on…" Astelle whispered, her breathing becoming short and raspy.

Shadow's ears went flat and he sank into two dimensional form and rested himself under her wings in fear.

"Almost… there…" Astelle whimpered, trying her best not to break the concentration of the spell. Her horn was emitting so much magic now that the entire cave was lit in red. Moments later, Astelle's horn flickered, too overwhelmed by the power she was trying to summon forth. She let out a terrified and pained scream moments before a large magical flash of light. Astelle's body was thrown back into the adjacent wall of the cave, smacking her head hard on a boulder and causing her to scream again.

Shadow gasped in horror when he saw a trickle of blood come from his mistress's head and looked up to see something far worse about to happen. The explosion of magic had shaken the entire cave, and while his mistress lay helpless, a large stalactite above them was about to come crashing down. Shadow jumped from under Astelle's wing and made himself as solid as possible, pulling on her tail in an effort to get her out of harm's way. The stalactites around them had already crashed to the cave floor, shattering and sending shards of rock at the pair of them. Luckily for Shadow, none of the pieces could harm him as they simply flew through him. The same could not be said for his mistress, however, and her beautiful coat was marred with scratches and bruises from the debri.

Shadow pawed helplessly at Astelle, tears streaming down his little cheeks still unable to use his voice to cry out to her. The stalactite above them finally broke free of its place and began its decent, aimed just above Astelle's heart. Shadow cried out a sound of panic and jumped on top of Astelle hoping to protect her in some unknown way. He puffed out his little chest and braced himself for the impact by squeezing his eyes shut. However, after a few moments Shadow noticed that nothing seemed to have happened. When he opened his eyes, he could see a red glow around the stalactite as it floated inches from him and Astelle.

Astelle used her magic to cast the large piece of rock aside, saving them from its blow. She coughed a couple times and Shadow rejoiced, nuzzling into her chest and burying his tears in her fur.

"Stop that." Astelle growled, still coughing from the dust and debri. "I wasn't in any danger you foolish little thing. I'm immortal, remember? It takes a lot more than that to kill me."

Although Astelle's words were cold and even slightly cruel, Shadow paid them no heed. He continued nuzzling his mistress until she physically pushed him away from her.

"Let us see if it was all worth the pain…" Astelle said, her eyes seeking the gem she had just cursed with her magic. It was not hard to miss, though it was many yards away. The emerald was glowing a strange combination of colors while little swirls of red and black magic continuously danced from within. Astelle picked it up with her magic, admiring the strange lights it was emitting. She let out a terrifying laugh of joy at the sight of it.

"Do you know what this is, little Shadow?" She asked, turning to see Shadow curled up on his own in the corner. "This is new magic. Nothing like this has ever existed before… and it almost was impossible to make even for an alicorn queen."

Astelle boastfully brought the gem away from the debri and rested herself near the entrance of the cave to admire it in a different light. Shadow timidly uncurled from himself and walked quietly over to her. Astelle said nothing for a long moment; she just stared into the gem fondly. Shadow looked to it and her again in confusion. As if on cue, Astelle then explained its purpose.

"With this gem I can switch places with any pony I choose. This will allow me to completely inhabit their body for as long as I please. Only I hold the remedy for such a spell. Don't you see, Shadow? With this I will be able to take Celestia's place and demand the truth from Starswirl. Celestia knows nothing of my magic and I will have the skill to ensnare her with my amulet so that she doesn't go gallivanting off with my body. This could be the answer to our problems little Shadow."

Shadow looked at the gem again and tilted his head. He wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, though he was trying his best to understand. He didn't know why his mistress would want to forgo this form as it was something he had grown very fond of. Getting used to her in another body would take time, but he knew he had no say in the matter. Instead, he whimpered and pawed again at her leg.

"Still…" Astelle said with a bitter sigh. "It's not enough!"

Astelle used her magic and tossed the gem away from her in a fit of rage and slight despair. She had gone from smug to down-hearted in a matter of moments. Shadow knew better than to stick around her when she was like that. Instead, he trotted to where she had thrown the gem and consumed it, transporting it to a little chest of jewels on the other side of the cave entrance. Inside this chest were a host of other gemstones, each with swirling red and black magical energies at their core. This emerald was merely one of many forms of revenge that Astelle had conjured since learning of Celestia's betrayal.

Astelle sighed and used her magic to close the chest, keeping her spells safely locked inside. Casting the spell for the emerald had effectively drained Astelle and she rested her head on her hooves sadly. Shadow returned to her side, making sure not to touch her but still remain close.

"I'm missing something… something important." Astelle said quietly to herself. "These spells… they are laced with powerful magic… but I know that Starswirl has powerful magic as well. He only taught me what he thought I should know, who is to say he cannot dispel the magic I have created here? If I cannot convince him I am Celestia he would have the advantage. What if my magic does not work if I am inhabiting Celestia's body? Am I too far from elemental magic to be able to use it?"

Shadow looked up at Astelle wondering if he was somehow supposed to respond to these questions. He knew that she did this often. In fact, after the creation of most of her spells she would find reasons not to use them. The chest by the cave entrance was starting to get increasingly heavy with what Astelle felt were useless spells she had created.

"Shadow, I believe it's time for me to succumb to the possibility that I might not win after all." Astelle said, looking to him with a tired expression. Shadow merely tilted his head. "And if that's the case… I'm going to want an option that will… release me."

Shadow scrunched up his little face in confusion, not understanding what she meant.

"Immortality is a curse, and not one that I am able to break. But perhaps I can change it… make it into something else entirely. If I cannot succeed in my task… if Starswirl dies and Celestia keeps the throne I won't want to live an eternity under her rule. I need an out… I need…"

Astelle trailed off when her eyes locked on something she saw outside the cave. Shadow looked to see what she was staring at but saw nothing but plants and trees. He then watched Astelle's face change again, this time she looked happy almost.

"That's it!" Astelle exclaimed after her long moment of silence. She used her magic to pick a rose from a rosebush growing just outside the mouth of the cave and brought it to her, stroking the petals with her hooves. "I know exactly how to beat my immortal curse. This time, Shadow, a gem will not be sufficient. We will have to find something far more fragile to instill with magic. This will be one spell I hope I will never have to use… but even I know that magic is unpredictable, and every pony needs a fail-safe in case all goes wrong."