Fallen Eagle

Chapter 51: My Choice

*Deep breath* Wow, so I want to sincerely apologize for how long this chapter took to get out. However, I have a few valid reasons for the tardiness. One scene in particular went through several rewrites. It's a scene that we haven't gone through yet, and I wanted it to be believable, about something important and not trivial, and for it to seem like something that could happen to...well you'll see. Also, last week, my mom broke her foot in three places and was a millimeter off from having a Joe Theismann bone break, so I had no chance to work on the chapter with that going on and while trying to keep up with reviewing new episodes on my YouTube channel. Couple that, the rewrites and the fact that my dad has a pinched nerve in his leg, I had to use all of Saturday to run errands all over town for my parents. However, family comes first, but now I am ready to update the chapter.

What's interesting here is that last week's episode, The Gauntlet of Fire, took place in the dragon kingdom while I was writing this chapter! And no, remember Season 6 does not happen in my story, but the episode gave me a few ideas.

And no, I'm sorry guys, but I won't be replying to reviews for this chapter. After this weekend and with how late I'm proofreading this chapter, I'm EXHAUSTED. However, I can say this.

Thank you to everyone not only for their patience, but THANK YOU to EVERYONE that reviewed and kept the twist a secret. Just thank you guys so much, you are all so fucking awesome. In case anyone is curious, there were several clues hidden in the story that pointed to Luna's pregnancy. Notice in the Hearth's Warming Eve Chapter that she refused to drink alcohol when Ivan asked her about it. And her moodiness in the Hears and Hooves Day chapter was a cover up. The reason I decided to have Luna get pregnant is because I want her to have development beyond being Celestia's little sister that became Nightmare Moon. I can really see how she would have so much love to give after being stuck on the moon for a millennia. And I can see her as a mother!

For the record, please don't send name ideas for the foal; I already have one picked out.

With all that out of the way, let's get to the thrilling continuation of Fallen Eagle!

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(Luna's Bedroom; Ivan's POV)

Of all the things that had transpired so far today, this turn of events would've made even Sherlock Holmes drop his pipe in shock. Like the rest of us, I couldn't fathom what was unfolding. My friend, the first friend I ever made in Equestria, was secretly pregnant and now was kidnapped by dragons. I had to massage the side of my head to prevent a headache from coming on. We all stood still as Glock slowly got up and off of Checkered who was shaking like a leaf in the wind. Even Celestia's mane stopped flowing freely. Thankfully no one passed out, however. Checkered gulped several times whilst trying to find his footing as Celestia placed her golden plated hoof on his shoulder. "Checkered," Celestia said, sounding like she was about ready to pass out. "What did you just say?" She whispered again. The racing stallion looked up at her and sniffled little before breathing heavily.

"She's…..she's pregnant, Celestia," he choked. "Luna's pregnant," he sniffled again, closing his eyes to prevent tears from flowing out.

"Sweet Celestia," Spike muttered under his breath.

"Checkered," the sun princess said softly, pushing the stallion's chin up with her hoof. "How long?" She asked, blinking several times. Checkered gulped loudly, yet he never blinked or moved his eyes away from Celestia's. I could tell Checkered had a little fear in his eyes now. But whether or not that was from Luna's kidnapping or of what Celestia could do to him was left open for interpretation. The stallion replied something, but it came out as quiet gibberish. "Please," Celestia quietly begged.

"F-four months," Checkered exhaled as tears finally fell down his face. "Just b-barely four m-months," he added, still not blinking. "She conceived the foal on Nightmare Night; she wasn't feeling well a few days later, so she took a test in her bathroom," he explained.

"Are you positive it was Nightmare Night?" Pinkie asked out of the blue. Rarity and Cadence shushed her, but she didn't pay them any attention.

"Well, it was the most recent time we, uh, made love," Checkered looked over at the pink mare, "before she took the test." Celestia slowly retreated her hoof back under her body, allowing Checkered to drop his chin to his chest as he plopped down on his haunches, softly sobbing.

"I can see now why you were more adamant than anypony, Checkered," Celestia looked away from the stallion. I couldn't even tell what emotions Celestia was showing. If I had to guess, it was a combination of fear, sadness, shock, disappointment, and anguish. Apparently Checkered feared something else.

"Please Celestia," the stallion cried out, "please don't be angry at Luna. If you want to be angry, just take it out on me," he begged. "I-I know I don't have any royal blood inside of me, and Luna and I aren't married, but please don't put any blame on her." While none of us said anything, Celestia refocused her attention on Checkered and knelt down to his level. She said nothing, but her presence was enough to make him stop blubbering enough to look at her again.

"Checkered Flag, I admit that this revelation of yours, especially at this time, is most shocking," she spoke in the softest voice I've ever heard. "And I am concerned that you and my sister were not a little more cautions while doing amorous activities," the stallion flashed a look of shame across his face. "However, how could I be angry or take my frustrations out on the father of my baby sister's foal, or my future brother-in-law?" She managed a small smile, draping a foreleg around the stallion to hug him. This seemed to raise his spirits a bit as a way smile cracked across his muzzle. "Although," Celestia pulled away from him with a stern look on her face that made his smile disappear. "When were you two planning on telling us?" It struck me as a bit odd that Celestia cared about that particular detail during a time like this, but I had a feeling it was the last detail she desired.

"Uh, we were planning on telling you and all our friends around Spring time," Checkered gulped from Celestia's intense look.

"Wait a minute," Rarity chimed in before Checkered interrupted her.

"Luna cast a spell that would hide her baby bump," he quickly explained. "She'd disable it on occasion so we could, you know, rub her belly," he added.

"Well, that certainly explains a lot," Rarity replied. It took me a quick second to remember that Luna lied to me a few weeks ago at Sugarcube Corner, but that didn't bother me so much now. Celestia then stood up, helping Checkered to his hooves in the process, and turned to face us.

"And to answer Checkered's question, I plan to leave as soon as possible," she announced. "First I must draw up plans for my arrival in Draconia, dust off the map of the country, and acquire the proper number of guards to accompany me on the trip. It's been a long time since I've visited Draconia; I wish to stay on Horntail's good side if I desire his assistance," she explained. It made sense to me; something as big as telling the leader of another country that a huge political figure may have been kidnapped by members of that country can't be rushed in any way. Hell, a part of me wanted Celestia to head off into the sunset right now to get Luna, but she was right in her planning. I could only pray that the dragon king would show Celestia pity and help her.

"W-what should we do in the meantime, Aunt Celestia?" Cadence quickly trotted over to the larger alicorn. Celestia clicked her tongue and looked across all of us.

"I'll have the palace chefs cook up some dinner for you all," she replied, purposefully avoiding Cadence's question. "And I'll alert the servants to prepare rooms for you all," she continued as her magic engulfed Luna's door and slowly opened it. "I also would like to ask that none of you breathe a word of this to anypony that is not a guard or a servant. The last thing we need is an all-out panic on our hooves," Celestia concluded.

"But Aunt Celestia," Cadence tried to protest.

"No, you are not going, Cadence," Celestia sternly replied. "Not while you are expecting a foal as well. While I am gone, I leave you, Shining Armor, and Twilight in charge of the castle," she explained. Based on the tone of her voice alone, Cadence backed away, knowing that Celestia wasn't going to allow her to search for Luna as well. When no one else said anything, Celestia finally trotted out of the room, calling for Bat Fang, Venom, and Glock to follow her to her chambers for a meeting.

Immediately, everyone's gaze turned directly to the racing stallion that was looking much paler than usual. After Celestia's comforting presence had left him, Checkered Flag looked longingly at Luna's bed before solemnly heading out of the room as Celestia had. "Checkered," AJ called out suddenly. We all shifted our gazes from her to Checkered as he stopped and looked back at her. "W-we're here fer ya, partner. Fer whatever ya need," she cautiously made her way over to the stallion and placed a hoof on his back.

"Thanks Applejack," he replied before walking out of the room with his head held low. Applejack's hoof quietly clopped against marble flooring of the room.

"Poor guy," I exclaimed, shaking my head.

"Poor Celestia," Shining Armor said at the exact same time.

"So, what do we do now?" Fluttershy asked aloud. Even her velvet-soft voice managed to create an echo within the room.

"We do what we can for Celestia and Checkered of course," Cadence replied. "We make Celestia's life a little easier by doing what she asked of us, and we do what we can to cheer Checkered up," she explained.

"Yeah, I get that," I said in return. "But I think for the time being, until we get Luna back, no mention of foals or kids, and as much as I hate to say it, no talking about couples or affections of any kind around Checkered. That goes for me too," I swallowed roughly, staring at Applejack. "The last thing we need to do is remind Checkered of what he's missing right now."

"Agreed," Spike nodded his head, still clutching Garble's red scale in his claws. "Pinkie, I think you can lead the way so you can try to cheer up Checkered," he offered. By some miracle, Pinkie's mane managed to stay poofy as she agreed to Spike's suggestion, taking the lead of our group. Although she was trying her best to keep upbeat, there just wasn't as much joy coming out of Pinkie Pie. I know as much because she was actually walking out of the room instead of bouncing along like she normally did. Even Rainbow didn't seem to have the strength to fly a few feet above us per the norm. The pegasus marched herself alongside Fluttershy in front of AJ and myself as we all exited the room. Twilight and Spike were the last ones to leave the room before the door shut loudly, echoing down the hallway we were traveling.

"It's nice of Celestia," I mumbled to Applejack, "but to be honest, I'm not really hungry," I admitted, stuffing my hands in my pockets rather than petting the back of AJ's neck. From behind myself and Applejack, however, I heard a different voice speaking. It was a male's voice, but it wasn't Shining Armor nor Spike that was talking. Unsure if AJ heard since the voice was so quiet, I looked behind to see Twilight, Spike, and Flash Sentry walking together. 'Where the hell did he come from?' I asked myself. Seeing Flash trying to speak with Twilight put me on red alert. Flash couldn't have chosen a worse time than now, but I didn't know if I had the right to interfere. From the looks of it, the conversation, or attempted conversation, didn't look hostile in any way, but for some reason Spike turned away from his mom and Flash and walked in a faster pace to catch up with us.

"Everythin' okay, Ivan?" AJ sounded more distant than she should have. I looked forward to see her a few feet ahead. Instantly I jogged forward and kept her from looking back.

"Just keep walking, it's none of our business," I gently urged a confused AJ forward. She tried to question me, but when I didn't answer and the fact that Spike even surpassed us, she let it go and remained silent on our way to the dining hall. The journey was probably five or six minutes at the pace we were walking, but to me, and I'm guessing a good majority of us, it felt like an hour had passed. We were greeted in the dining hall by a familiar face, Wadsworth. He alerted us that the chefs had just begun cooking dinner and that it would be ready soon. The ten of us took seats around the table in whatever order pleased us. Twilight entered about a minute or two after we did, looking stressed out as she took an empty seat in between Spike and Shining Armor.

"Sorry I lagged behind," she apologized, taking a small sip out of a cup of water. She needed no further explanation as Flash Sentry made his way through the dining room at a modest pace. Everyone except myself, Spike, and Twilight were shocked to see him, but no one said a word. It was hard to tell as I was sitting across the huge table from where he was walking, but I could see the stallion was trying to keep from looking depressed. Instead of the usual intimidating face most guards had on the clock, Flash's frown looked weak and he was mainly pointing his focus at the ground. With no other noises going on within the dining hall, Flash's hoof-steps and the opening and closing of the south end doors stuck out. 'He's probably on his way to see Celestia,' I guessed to myself, staring at my own reflection in the water cup before me. All I could see was a confused twenty-four year old man staring back. And to be honest, I was feeling both confused and conflicted. I didn't know what to do.

"Say Checkered," I heard Pinkie exclaim from across the table. "Could you tell us about your very first race?" She questioned. 'Great job Pinkie,' I thought. 'Perfect way to distract him from what's going on.' I looked up to see the racing stallion just barely able to keep his head up as he looked over at Pinkie. He quickly licked his lips while rocking back and forth in his seat. It was a good thing no one tried to urge him on about it, or else that could easily raise his stress levels. "I mean, I already know what happened, but I just thought it'd be neat to hear from your perspective," she explained with a toothy grin.

"Y-yeah, I guess so," he swallowed before bracing his hooves on the table to keep steady. "Has it really been twenty-three years?" Checkered asked himself as he thought hard about what to say. I couldn't help but smile a little as I felt AJ's hoof sneak over and softly rub on top of my right hand. She was such a smart mare. I wasn't trying to be obvious that I was a little lost on my feelings, but she could tell something was wrong. Either that or she wanted some form of comfort as well. I sighed and took off my ball cap, running a hand through my hair before putting it back on and looking over to Applejack.

'I love you,' I mouthed to her, not wanting to interrupt Checkered. She mouthed it back to me before taking a sip out of her own water cup. I reached over to grab my own water, but something startled me a little. Scooting my cup over closer, I could still see my reflection, but I looked like I was seventeen again! Wondering if the stress of the situation was getting to me, I shook my head and took a quick sip before looking into the water again. My reflection appeared, yet my seventeen year old self was still looking back at me. And then all of a sudden, Checkered's voice started to melt away until I couldn't hear it anymore. In replacement of Checkered's voice was Celestia's.

'First I must draw up plans for my arrival in Draconia, dust off the map of the country, and acquire the proper number of guards to accompany me,' I heard a repeat of what she said earlier crystal clear. 'The proper number of guards to accompany me,' the last part echoed again. That's what was making me feel so conflicted. How much help was she going to need for a rescue mission of this size? Would any number of guards be enough to help her face King Horntail should things turn sour?

'This is something we have to do,' a male voice entered my mind. In fact…it was my voice from when I was a teenager. 'Adam, I know it's a big step and a frightening one, but if no one else is willing to strap themselves in to protect the rights of every free person in the world, it's up to us.'

'Ivan, I believe every word you say.' No….it can't be. I-I was hearing Adam's voice again. I haven't heard him speak in nearly a year. 'But we both have to be 100% sure about this. We can't talk a big game and wimp out at the last second. We have to be willing to give it our all for the good of what's right.'

'I know,' my seventeen year old voice agreed with Adam's. 'Which is why I'm telling you Adam. I'm signing up this Friday; I can't sit back and watch other good airmen and women fly off into the sunset without doing my part.'

"Ivan," I heard a fourth voice calling my name. All I could think about, however, was Celestia's words, the conversation Adam and I held before we signed up for the Air Force, and Luna all frightened and alone, in need of help. "Ivan," the voice called again. All four voices started to overlap each other, making my breathing intensify. I felt like my brain was going to rupture from how quick and loud the voices were becoming. "Ivan!"

I gasped, looking upwards at the table. Everyone that was sitting at the table was staring at me like I was rabid. I felt AJ's hoof poking my side fervently and looked over at her. "Sugarcube, you just…blacked out fer no reason!" She exclaimed. "You didn't even notice yer food arrived," she pointed to a plate of steamed vegetables, rice, mashed potatoes and buttered bread. I looked up again at everyone, only this time I noticed Pinkie Pie had mashed potatoes covering her entire face.

"I-I'm sorry," I apologized, pushing my cup of water out of the way. "How long was I just sitting here staring into space?"

"About five minutes," Fluttershy replied worriedly. "It wasn't just that you were alone with your thoughts, you were just almost frozen," she explained.

"We tried to get your attention, but you were in a trance-like state," Shining Armor chimed in. To try and ease everyone's minds, I picked up a fork and pushed some food around before stabbing a piece of broccoli and shoved it in my mouth. At this point, everyone was still watching me cautiously, but were starting to enjoy their food as well. Yet they all ate slowly, as if they were doing it to be polite to the chefs and Celestia. I wasn't that hungry either. After eating just a few vegetables, I started to just push food around nonchalantly, still stuck on what had just happened to me. Something like that has NEVER happened to me before. I hoped it was only a stress induced flashback or something.

"Sugarcube?" Applejack whispered, placing a hoof on my back and massaged it lovingly. "Is everythin' okay?" She asked me, scooting a little closer. "Do ya need ta lie down? Ah'm sure everyone would understand." I sighed, dropping my fork on the plate.

"I don't even know how to respond to this, AJ," I exhaled. Though I made sure to keep my voice down so Checkered couldn't hear. "Luna's pregnant, but now she's been kidnapped by dragons? H-How would anyone even respond to that? I mean, I want to feel excited for the both of them, but I feel so horrified for them. I just feel…nauseated from this." It was Luna who'd been taken, but it could've been any one of my friends, even AJ, and I would've still felt sick to my stomach. But the million dollar question was could I even do anything to help?

"It's okay, Ivan," AJ assured me, yet still managed to keep from being too affectionate. "It's been a long day fer everyone. 'Sides, everyone should feel better when Celestia comes back with that plan 'o hers."

"But is there anything any of us can do?" I replied quickly to her, catching her off guard. The mare removed her hoof from my back, cocking her head to the side confusingly.

"What do ya mean, Ivan? There's nothin' we can do; there ain't no train that can get us all ta Draconia, 'n Celestia's smart enough ta not take a golden chariot there. She doesn't want ta attract too much attention ta herself 'n her guards," AJ explained. "Ah wish we could help, but the only thing we can do is give our moral support ta Checkered while Celestia's gone." I put my hands over my eyes, still contemplating what Celestia's plans could be and AJ's words on helping her.

"There's got to be more," I suddenly said, pushing my chair out and standing up. "Please, excuse me," I gave a quick wave to everyone before walking briskly away from the table. I wanted, no, needed to find an empty room to think in.

"Hey, where's he going, AJ?" I could hear Rainbow's confused voice ask. I'm only guessing that AJ shrugged since I didn't hear her answer. It was wishful thinking, as I quickly exited the dining hall, but I knew AJ wasn't going to let me be alone for very long, especially for ditching everyone like that. And I knew she wasn't going to like what I was thinking. Nonetheless I made haste, forcibly opening the door to the dining hall we all entered through, and entered into the corridor. I didn't even care that there were no guards present; even if there were, I wasn't about to explain myself to them. I didn't want to pick a room too close in proximity to the dining hall because I would be found too quickly, so I selected a room about halfway down the corridor.

Knock, knock, knock

I knocked thrice on the door in case there was a servant, maid, or guard occupying the room, but when I received no response after a few seconds, I jiggled the handle and the door creaked open. A dim and empty room with a modest bed, a medium sized dresser, a draped covered window, and another door, presumably leading to a bathroom, awaited me on the other side. Without looking back to see if AJ was following me, I slipped inside, slammed the door as quickly as possible, and inhaled deeply, shutting my eyes tight.

'Hello darkness my old friend,' a few song lyrics played in my mind as I opened my eyes. The only sound that could be heard within the room was my own shallow breathing. I could feel my heart pounding so hard I thought that my ribcage would crack from the beating it was taking. Whatever that brief flashback was really got to me. I couldn't understand how or even why it happened. Sometimes I would purposefully reminisce about my past life, but memories have never butted their way in my mind like that. As I bowed my head and slinked over to the bed, sitting down on the side facing away from the door, I ran a hand over my hat.

The only things I did know at that moment were Luna was gone, Celestia was coming up with a plan to rescue her, and I felt like there was more we should do to help. Yes, Checkered needed love and support first and foremost, that was the primary goal for everyone. But the more I thought about Celestia telling us we were staying here until Luna was returned, the more I knew there was something else we could do. At least those of us with ways to get to Draconia. Having Cadence stay made sense, she was pregnant, and any stress whatsoever is dangerous as all hell to a fetus. Twilight in all honesty should stay; she could use the extra time to learn how to make more important decisions while running a kingdom. Even if no one outside the castle would know of the events that just took place.

I rolled over onto my back, trying to get relaxed as possible so I could think easier. AJ, Pinkie, Shining Armor, and Spike were out of the question as well since they had no wings to speak of. Fluttershy I know still has some fear of dragons and no experience that I know of in combat should it be required. Rainbow Dash was the only member of my friends that I thought could go; she could fly faster than any pegasus, and was combat ready whenever she wanted to be. Where did that leave me? Well, the last time I actually had to fight anything was last summer when the pair of timberwolves invaded our campsite, and I had to kill one to keep it from harming myself or Applejack any further. But that didn't mean I was out of the question to help. Especially with my set of wings back home at Sweet Apple Acres.

"I haven't practiced in a good while," I reminded myself, still trying to look at this realistically. However….it wasn't like I had to perform any tricks necessarily. More than likely I would have to just fly in a straight line and bank from time to time in the direction we needed to go. And I didn't plan on actually having to fight any dragons. In the deepest recesses of my mine, I hoped that if we had the dragon king on our side, and we found Luna with his help, he would do whatever was necessary to the dragons that committed this crime, leaving us to just take Luna back. I knew I wanted to help, yet whether or not Celestia would accept my help wasn't my main concern; I could do my best to make my case, especially since she trusted me.

Still with a pilot's mind, however, I knew I couldn't just strap on my pack and go; I had to analyze the mission and really think hard about whatever consequences could become of it. I froze when I heard the sound of hoof steps clacking against the marble flooring of the corridor outside the door. Trying not to draw attention to the room, I slapped a hand over my mouth so my breathing could not be heard. I stayed like that for maybe fifteen seconds as the sounds faded away in the opposite direction. 'Probably just a maid,' I thought, breathing hard in and out of my nose. I felt like I needed to help, and I had to talk to Celestia before she left, mainly so she would have enough time to allow me to grab the necessary items for the mission. Yet there was one huge problem I was dreading most of all: Applejack.

Never have I ever had to say goodbye to anyone I loved before going on a tour or a mission. The only one that could come close was our commander, but he was always reachable by radio if we ran into new situations or needed further instruction. And Adam was with me for every mission we went on. Telling Applejack that I wanted to go with Celestia was not going to be easy at all. How would I tell her? It wasn't like I could go back in the dining hall and just casually say, "You know what AJ? I'm gonna go ask Celestia to let me accompany her to Draconia; see you in a few days!" She deserved so much more than that. And there was absolutely no way I was going to sneak around her to ask Celestia. I loved Applejack too much to be that dishonest with her.

I haven't even been on an assignment like this since that fateful night last summer. Ten months of living a (somewhat) normal life was like a dream come true for me. Was I really ready to jump back in like this? The flashback of myself and Adam started to make more sense. We'd signed up for the Air Force because we knew that if no one else was going to step up to defend what was right, then we would. And this wasn't so I could recapture the days of flying my F-15C; my friend, my pregnant friend, was in trouble, and I didn't want to just sit back hoping she would come back. I wanted to make sure she would get back.

"Ivan, Sugarcube, you in there?" I nearly yelped when AJ's voice came in through the door. Once again I attempted to silence myself as much as possible, but I realized soon enough that I would have to face her and get this off my chest. "Hun," she said again, "please, Ah'm not angry ya left; Ah'm just concerned fer ya," she sounded worried. I got up from the bed, feeling a little guilty, and started toward the door when she said something that only made me feel more guiltier. "Sugarcube, Ah know yer in there."

"Hold on," I said softly, grasping the door handle and easing the door open. The orange mare was sitting patiently on her haunches with her stetson in one of her hooves as she looked very worried. "Hey, I'm sorry-"

"It's okay, Ivan," AJ held up her other hoof and stood up. "We all have our different ways 'o dealin' with stressful situations like this," she forgave me and trotted in as I stood aside. "An' Ah don't mind if ya like ta think alone, but ya know my ears are always open ta listen," she smiled. My eyes had adjusted to the dimmer room, so I could see her pretty well. I still flipped on the light for her though.

"Uh, how did you….?" I trailed off, pointing to the door with my thumb. She blushed and chuckled nervously, easing my high-strung tension for a brief second.

"Let's just say that when we mated, Ah kinda got a good lock on yer natural scent, Sugarcube." Well I wasn't going to ask any further. I returned to the bed, this time sitting on the side facing toward the door, and patted my hand for AJ to sit next to me. The mare happily obliged, putting her stetson on the end table next to the bed before hopping beside me. She didn't just sit down, instead she sat down and pushed me, causing me to try and fall sideways.

"What was that for?" I asked, trying not to sound too upset. She gave me an answer quicker than I thought. She then laid down next to me, snuggling up and cuddling her cheek against mine. 'Oh Christ, why are you making this so difficult, AJ?' I was starting to go crazy. She then started to lightly massage my chest, trying to get me to relax. I wasn't stupid enough to make her stop, so I made the most of it and curled my arm around her furry body, pulling her closer.

"There, just relax fer a bit, Sugarcube," she cooed. I gulped; I was torn between wanting to stay like this and knowing I couldn't hold on like this forever. Applejack on occasion would lightly graze the end of her muzzle against my neck, using my weak spot against me so I could keep calm.

"Applejack-"

"Ya don't have ta leave us if yer feelin' anxious, Ivan," she cut me off, moving her hoof from my chest to my cheek. "Yer not a burden," AJ added, leaning upward to peck my lips.

"I just needed to think before I could talk to you, Applejack," I admitted, stroking her mane. "And I didn't want to just up and leave like that, but-" I pursed my lips, for sure knowing that she'd believe me to be crazy if I told her what I'd heard.

"What'd Ah just tell you?" She asked sternly yet sweetly. I tried to look away, but her hoof prevent me from turning my head. "Ivan, if somethin' is buggin' ya, Ah'll listen ta every word ya have ta say, 'n Ah won't judge ya, Sugarcube." I believed that she would listen to me, but listening and agreeing are complete polar opposites. I knew I couldn't hold this in forever or else Celestia could leave before I'd get a chance to chat with her.

"Let me ask you something. What would you say if I told you I heard something abnormal in the dining hall?" I asked her.

"How abnormal?" She moved back to look me square in the eye.

"Like I heard my seventeen year old self talking to Adam abnormal," I described. "And right before we both signed up for the Air Force," I added. As I suspected, her eyes grew in shock, but she didn't accuse me of talking crazy or anything. In fact, she took it pretty well.

"Has this happened before?"

"No, but it happened right when I was about to take a drink of my water," I explained, moving closer to her until our foreheads touched. "I looked into the water itself and saw my seventeen year old self staring back at me; that's when I started to hear the voices."

"Well hun, maybe the stress is just messin' with yer mind?" She suggested with a shrug, trying to not paint me as a lunatic.

"I thought that at first; that's why I wanted to think alone so I wouldn't sound like I was going insane. But the more I did think about it and what Celestia told us she was doing, the more I thought the voices were some sort of guilt ridden reminder," I moved my hand to cup AJ's cheek, rubbing it gently.

"What?" AJ was clearly confused, not that I was doing her any favors by avoiding specifics. "Ivan, what in the world do ya have ta feel guilty about?" She scooted backward, propping herself up in a sitting position on the bed. I however stayed in a lying down position, not having the guts to move that much with what I knew was to come.

"Applejack, Adam and I joined the Air Force because we felt it was our duty to help defend what was right and those who couldn't defend themselves. We risked everything by lying to the military about our ages, but we were willing to give our lives to protect freedom," I delineated. "And you know how that eventually turned out for the both of us." The mare then started to stroke my hair with her hoof.

"So ya lied, hun. Ah'm not particularly happy with that, but ya did it at the cost 'o doin' what was right. An' ya know you did all that you could ta help Adam 'n the rest 'o yer friends that night. You have nothin' ta feel guilty about," she assured me. 'If only you knew the truth,' I thought but didn't dare say out loud. Instead I bit my lip and prepared to tell her what I wanted to do.

"AJ, do you remember what you told me when I was feeling anxious about making love to you?" I asked out of the blue.

"'Course Ah do," she nodded, gifting me with a slight smile at the memory.

"Then please, please just listen to me," I slipped my fingers around her hoof, squeezing it gently. She nodded, still willing to listen to me. "Applejack, I love you, I love you so much," I started, getting the courage to shift into a sitting position as well. "But I cannot stay here and just hope for the best for Celestia to save Luna." I paused, feeling anxious again about her reaction. Her loving and understand face was starting to falter as she gathered an idea of where I was going, but I couldn't stop now.

"Ivan…." She said in a warning voice.

"I want to offer my services to help Celestia. I need to go with her to Draconia to rescue Luna," I concluded my admission. The mare ripped her hoof from my grasp and scrambled to her feet without hesitation. She then placed her forelegs on my chest, towering over me.

"Ah think the stress is gettin' to yer head, Ivan."

"No, no it's not AJ," I replied firmly.

"Maybe you should talk ta a castle doctor 'n get some sleepin' meds ta rest this off," she continued. She was still sounding reasonable, but she was on the verge of becoming pissed off. I couldn't hate her for that though.

"AJ, I know you don't want me to say this, but it's something I have to do." The mare glared at me and inched her face closer to mine. I began to shake a little as her nose touched mine. I was used to her rubbing her nose against mine affectionately, but she was truly terrifying here.

"No, you, don't. This ain't yer business, Ivan. This is Celestia's personal affair that only she 'n trained guards needs ta handle," she growled.

"I'm trained," I cut back, leaning into her and making her move away.

"Fer handling' dragons!?" AJ exclaimed as she glared at me harder. "All you ever did was fly 'n shoot at other flyin' machines! Ya never once had ta face somethin' as bad as dragons."

"Well so what? Who said we needed to fight dragons anyway?" I retorted, glaring at her in return. "Like Celestia said, if we can handle this with peace and reasoning, then I won't have any problems helping to locate Luna."

"You've only been around Spike; you don't know how unpredictable dragons can be, Ivan. It's better if ya stay here with us 'n leave-"

"And leave Celestia to go off knowing I have the means to help? You know I can't refuse to help anyone Applejack. It's not who I am!" I actually rose my voice a little at her when she shook her head and hopped off the bed.

"Hardheaded," she muttered under breath.

"What?" I demanded, moving in front of her when she reached for her stetson.

"Ah said yer hardheaded! Why can't you just listen ta me?! Ya don't need ta go off on a suicide mission unprepared when Celestia knows how ta handle the situation better than anypony!" Applejack rose the volume of her voice as well.

"Oh and you're not hardheaded!? You won't even see to reason my side of the argument!" The mare then stood up on her hind legs and slammed her hooves into my chest, staring deep into my eyes with her anger levels rising. I shifted my gaze away, unable to look at her when she was so angry.

"Don't you dare look away from me," she clenched her teeth. "You are NOT goin' ta Draconia with Celestia. Not now; not EVER! Do ya hear me!?" She pushed against me to quickly grab her hat from the nightstand. "You can stay here 'till you can think clearly," she ordered. "End, of, discussion," She added. I was shaking again, but not from fear or anxiety anymore. When I was denied helping anyone, I wasn't a happy camper.

"So it's okay for YOU to go off to save Equestria from whatever monster or magic villain is threatening the country, but I can't step up this ONE time?" I called her out, making her freeze in place. "Just who the HELL do you think you are telling me what I can and can't do!? If I want to go and do what I was born to do, YOU have no right to fucking stop me!" I roared, feeling my anger boiling within my blood. I've never been angry at AJ before, but she was doing everything she could to piss me off. As I stood there, huffing through my nose, Applejack was frozen in place and facing away from me. For about ten seconds, all I could hear was my angry breathing, but then Applejack menacingly turned her head to look at me. Her left eye was narrowed, and her eyebrow was pointed downward at a forty-five degree angle.

"What did you just say to me, Cougar?" She demanded, calling me by my callsign for the first time in months. I knew I was in deep shit, but I wasn't going to just let her treat me like a child.

"So, back to Cougar huh?" I retorted as she slowly stalked her way back over to me.

"Well, the Ivan AH KNOW wouldn't act like a spoiled, selfish prick just 'cause he was told no!" She marched over to me and gave me a hard jab to my stomach. Although I didn't show it visually, it stung a lot that Applejack was calling me a prick and accusing me of acting selfish. I honestly felt like shedding a few tears from the stress of telling Applejack I had to leave, and that we were actually fighting. Unfortunately, despite feeling a twinge of sadness, I also had some anger that was trumping my grief. I rose my hand to my stomach where AJ had jabbed it and gently rubbed the area before glaring down at her.

"So, I'm a prick now too, huh?" I asked, laying down a thick layer of guilt for AJ. This caught her off guard for a brief moment, but she quickly retained her pissed off demeanor.

"Hey!" She barked, "Do ya think Ah enjoy callin' ya that? If you'd just get it through yer skull that Ah'm carin' 'bout yer safety-"

"Oh yeah," I sarcastically interrupted her with an eye roll, "calling me a prick REALLY shows how much you care about me," I bent close to her face before maneuvering around her. I plopped down on the edge of the bed, glaring at my reflection in the mirror of the dresser across the room. I wasn't left alone for long, however, as Applejack stomped her way over and stood in front of me snorting out of her nose and clenching her teeth.

"DON'T you turn this around on me!" She bellowed directly in my face. She looked as if she was going to say something else, but I interrupted her yet again.

"Well gee, you're doing everything you can to make ME feel bad!" I pointed out, squeezing the blanket behind me with both fists. Would I ever hit her physically? HELL NO. I was just simply trying to do what I could to quell my anger for the time being. As if telling her I wanted to go with Celestia was going to be heart wrenching enough; I wish we didn't have to fight. Neither of us said anything for two, maybe three minutes as we just stayed in our respective spots glaring at each other. Eventually, Applejack's face softened just a bit, but anyone could easily tell how angered she still was.

"Ivan, Ah'm simply tellin' ya that ya need ta know when ta stand down n' let others handle situations like this," she advised, still clenching her teeth together. If I could describe her, she sounded like a parent whose patience was at its end with their child, but didn't want to blow up at the kid. I swallowed, trying to think of what to say next.

"Applejack, are you really telling me I'm acting selfish all because I want to save a close friend of mine?" I asked her. "A pregnant friend no less?" I stressed. She inhaled sharply into her nose and rubbed the side of her head.

"No….." she replied slowly, shutting her eyes tight and opening them up again. "Ah'm askin' ya do wa WANT ta get yerself killed 'n throw away yer life just so you can have a chance ta thump yer chest 'n show off for everyone?"

"WHAT?!" I jumped up, causing her to flinch backwards at the sudden movement. I caught myself before I could really explode at the woman I loved, so I cautiously held up my hands and looked away as my body shook. "A-A-Applejack," I stuttered from shaking so hard. "You know that that's a fucking lie. Do you think I was showing off when I saved you from those timberwolves?" Her ears and face fell at my question. "I hated talking about what I'd done when we went camping. Anytime someone brought it up, I tried to shrug it off and mention how you and our friends were safe," I sat back down, holding my forehead in my hand. "You know I hate accolades and bragging a lot about accomplishments. Adam and I joined the Air Force because we felt it was the right thing to do, not just so we could kill bad guys, save innocent lives, and cram our victories down everyone's throats."

"Ivan, Ah-"

"I….we, have a friend in need of help and rescue, Applejack. I just want to do what I feel is right and help Celestia. Is that really such a bad thing?" I asked her. She looked around the room a few times before approaching me slowly.

"No, 'o course Ah don't think that's a bad thing, Sugarcube."

"Do you know how hard this was for me?" I skipped over her reply as I reached out and gently touched her face, rubbing her freckled cheek with my thumb.

"Enough that ya needed ta think alone," she replied, moving away from my hand before sitting next to me on the bed.

"AJ, deciding to tell Celestia I want to help is easy," I caught her off guard again. "I made that decision before I even found this room," I revealed. "The hardest part that tore me up was trying to figure out how to tell you what I wanted to do. You see, I never had to tell anyone I loved that I had to go away on a mission before back on Earth. I was just so scared of seeing any kind of reaction from you because I know how hard it can be for loved ones to hear that sort of thing."

"Oh," Applejack looked away from me.

"I wasn't going to let you know just as we were leaving," I put my hand under her chin, bringing her head around to look at me. "I-I couldn't do that to you. This was something that had to be done privately between us," I paused to swallow, "because I need you for support, and you need me to be able to confide in you with things like this," I leaned forward and gently kissed her on the mouth, trying to show her how far my love for her went. The mare pulled away, however, and dropped her forehead onto my shoulder. "I know you don't like what I have to do, Applejack, but this is my choice. I just can't let my friends potentially put their lives on the line while I stay here. That's just not who I am; I deserve to do no less than help," I laid my head on top of hers and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Ah….Ah'm so sorry, Ivan," she whispered after having finally calmed down. Our first fight may be fizzling out, but there was still a little bit we had to discuss.

"It's okay, Applejack," I lightly squeezed her torso. "You may not have liked my choice, but I completely understand that you don't want me to go."

"Ivan, it just scared me," she admitted and pulled her head out from under mine so she could look at me. "An' it still scares me. If those dragons are brave enough ta snatch a princess right from her own castle, then there's nothin' that won't stop them. Ah'm just scared fer you, Sugarcube," her voice turned into a whisper as she put her hoof over my heart and kissed my cheek.

"I know," I whispered into her ear whilst stroking the back of her neck. "I'm scared too, but helping others is something I can't refuse."

"Ah don't wanna lose you!" She cried out, yet no tears flowed from her eyes. She removed her hoof from my chest and threw her forelegs around my body, squeezing me tight as she buried her face in my chest. "Ah love you so much, Ivan," she said into my stomach, "but the thought 'o somethin' happenin' ta ya-"

"Hey," I tapped her head, "look at me." The mare stopped talking and shifted her head, placing her chin on my chest. I took her hoof in my hand yet again and gave it a nice firm squeeze. "Applejack, I know you trust me, so listen up. Nothing is going to happen to me," I stated. I knew she didn't like how I was basically jinxing the mission now, but I just wanted to put her mind at ease. "Do you know why?" I continued. "Because I've lost so much in my life, and have had so much happen to me. But I'm going to make damn sure nothing happens to me; you're the one thing in my life I'm NOT going to lose."

Nothing prepared me for Applejack's reaction this time. The mare shook her head a few times before forcibly shoving me back onto the bed. My momentary confusion allowed her to straddle my body and lie perfectly flat on my chest and stomach. "Applejack-" I tried to get ahold of the situation, but was cut off my Applejack's tongue burrowing inside of my mouth. There was no way I could or would fight this. I moved my hands onto her back and tried to pull her closer as our tongues met and began to wrestle. This wasn't a simple 'let's have some fun' kiss; this was a 'you mean everything to me' kiss. If this was going to be her sendoff to me, then I was going to make her feel more loved than she's ever felt in her life. I only had two things left to do when we were done: Tell Celestia about my offer to help, and keep my promise to Applejack.

---

(With Flash Sentry; 3rd Person POV)

Flash Sentry sighed sadly as he pathetically marched his way down down a corridor of Canterlot Castle. The orange pegasus hadn't been feeling like himself lately, but seeing Twilight Sparkle again, so soon and abruptly no less, put him in an even worse state. He currently had his spear lazily dragging on the floor along side him, and his wings and head looked as if they were trying to melt off his body. He knew something was wrong as everyone who'd exited Princess Luna's chambers appeared to have the 1000 yard stare. It was on his mind to ask what was wrong, but Twilight only told him she couldn't say anything about it. Neither could her son Spike for that matter. "I'm such an idiot," Flash mumbled as he rounded a corner, not really paying attention to where he was going.

Having Twilight in the same room as him sent his emotions into maximum overdrive. A part of him was happy to see her again, but another part of him was both surprised and a little frightened upon seeing the lavender alicorn. And it really didn't help that she was talking to him in a sarcastic tone, making it obvious enough she didn't want to see him at all. "Why would she want to talk to me?" He questioned himself, not caring if another guard caught him slacking his duties like this. Yes, Twilight went a little crazy on Hearts and Hooves Day, and Flash thought she could use a little break to get her thoughts and feelings organized once again. At the time breaking things off with her seemed like a good idea, but when he woke up the next morning, Flash regretted his decision.

He analyzed word for word what Twilight had told him, and he felt even worse for her. She had always been a little on the eccentric side when it came to organization, having things just so, and making sure their dinner dates were exactly perfect. But she was always a sweet mare that did her part to make everypony around her feel welcome. And on a night when she needed him the most, he cast her out like a diseased cat, shutting her out of his life. If only he were a unicorn, then he could study Starswirl the Bearded a little more closely and go back in time to fix his mistake. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her and straighten everything out. Hopefully maybe even start over with their relationship. He truly had feelings for her and wasn't dating her just because she was a princess. She seemed like herself even when on duty as a princess. However, she made it very clear in the tone of her voice that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Flash may as well have been a complete stranger to her now.

Flash's left ear twitched as he walked down the corridor that lead to Princess Celestia's chambers. He wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, but Flash was just passing through. Anything to make him forget, even for a brief second, sounded like heaven. "Tia, are you positive you should be going to Draconia as well?" Flash heard Captain Glock's deep voice coming out of the sun princess's chambers. 'Draconia?' Flash picked his head and wings up. Why would Princess Celestia need to visit that cesspit? Dragons have always had a deep rooted disdain for ponies, except for Spike of course. Visiting them seemed like visiting the castle dungeons with all of the cells unlocked. Curious, Flash Sentry even picked up his spear from the ground to not draw attention to himself.

"Glock, I am more than positive that I will be going to rescue my baby sister," Celestia retorted sternly, sounding mighty stressed and short fused. "I lost her once when I had to send her away; I will not lose her again, especially to some rogue dragons who believe to be above both myself and King Horntail.

"Oh buck," Flash nearly knocked his spear onto the ground. 'Princess Luna was kidnapped!?' He thought to himself. Just threatening any kind of violence to the royal sisters took both guts and a moronic train of thought, but kidnapping them straight from the castle? The dragons must have a death sentence as a goal for their lives. Flash then began to think hard about when this could have happened. Bat Fang and Venom didn't report anything out of the ordinary, nor did Flash see or hear infiltration of any kind through the castle.

"What he means, your highness," Bat Fang's gruff voice cut in, making Flash snap from his thoughts, "Is that with Princess Luna gone, the leadership of Equestria has been cut in half. And should something happen to the both of you on this mission, we are left without a leader. Your country needs you," he explained. "Is it wise to put Equestria in distress by the possibility of both of you dying, only to leave Equestria in the hooves of Blueblood?" Flash wanted to gag at that thought. Blueblood is legally in line for the throne should both Celestia and Luna be put to rest; nopony wanted that spoiled, selfish, and obnoxious flankhole to lead them. There'd be a rebellion in no time.

"I understand your concern for my nephew inheriting the rule of Equestria, but call it sisterly intuition, I must save and protect my sister. And I have been to Draconia more recently than anypony; I am certain that as a fellow ruler I can help persuade King Horntail to assist us in finding Luna and her unborn foal," Celestia explained to the three guards inside her chambers.

"WHAT!?" Flash shouted before he covered his mouth, realizing what he had done. The pegasus knew he had screwed up when the voices ceased speaking. He didn't want to just run away or else his hooves would give away his position. As quickly and as quietly as he could, Flash turned around and tried to head in the other direction, hoping that Celestia, Bat Fang, or Glock would just ignore what they'd heard. He wasn't going to breathe a word of this to anyone; maybe he was just hearing things. Yes, that's what he'd go with. Just play dumb and pretend he hadn't heard a thing, that'd work perfectly.

"Flash Sentry!" A deep voice barked at him. Whipping around, Flash was face to face with an angry-looking Captain Glock. The pegasus gulped, unable to keep his face intimidating whatsoever as his spear clattered to the ground. "What do you think you're doing snooping around, soldier?"

"S-snooping?" Flash stuttered. "No Captain, I was just making my rounds," some sweat began to drip down Flash's face. While it was technically true, he wasn't even paying attention to his duties at the time. Unfortunately for him, Glock was experienced enough to spot a liar amongst the guard force.

"Don't lie to me, Sentry," Glock got into the orange pony's face. "You know you're not even supposed to be watching this corridor today," the senior guard jabbed his chest.

"I know Captain," Flash nodded, biting his lip. "But I-I can tell you that I wasn't trying to snoop; I just had my mind elsewhere and wandered around to this part of the castle." While he was still feeling a tad depressed about his current situation with Twilight, Flash didn't mind getting chewed out by Glock; that meant he could keep his space from Twilight, just like she wanted him to do.

"Don't ever tell me your mind was elsewhere, soldier," Glock growled. "I have no use for guards who let their minds wander."

"I apologize Glock, but I've just had a lot going on-"

"Yes, I was with Celestia when Twilight Sparkle's son sent that letter. I understand you're not feeling like yourself, but you worry about your relationship troubles on your time, not while you're on the clock." Feeling like a scolded puppy, Flash bowed his head and nodded at the captain, feeling even worse that he was being berated at his own job for his mare troubles. "Now tell me, how much did hear in there? And don't lie," the white pegasus grabbed Flash's chin and quickly whipped it up so Flash could look him in the eye. Even dating the princess for several months couldn't extinguish that fire that Glock had burning in his eyes.

"E-everything, sir," Flash gulped again as Glock released his chin. Now that he had nothing to hide, Flash decided to start asking questions of his own. "Captain, what the tartarus is going on here!?" He exclaimed much louder than Glock would've appreciated. The orange pegasus lowered the volume of his voice in case there were more guards or servants around. "Princess Luna is pregnant?" He whispered.

"And kidnapped, yes," Glock nodded. "Spike and Cougar found a red scale under Luna's bed. Spike claimed it to be from a dragon he's had an encounter with before; Tia, Bat Fang, Venom, and I were just coming up with a plan on what to do," he explained.

"Glock, have you found- oh, Flash Sentry," Celestia appeared from her chamber door. Both pegasus guards stood at attention as she poked her head out and into the hallway. "Is there anything I can help you with, Flash?" She questioned.

"No, not really your highness," Flash gave the alicorn a quick yet professional bow. "I was just uh, trying to clear my head," he explained. Celestia squinted her eyes, studying the orange guard.

"How much do you know about what's happened?" Celestia pressed on with her questioning. Glock may not have been too displeased that Flash overheard what had happened, but since it was Luna that was kidnapped and pregnant, Flash was a little concerned about Celestia's possible anger for his knowing.

"He overheard practically everything, Tia," Glock cut in before Flash could even think. "I just confirmed that everything he heard was true." Flash's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "And that while on the clock, he should be focused on doing his duties rather than thinking about his ex-marefriend," Glock added, casting a glare toward Flash.

"Captain!" Flash exclaimed. "I didn't do it on purpose sir!"

"Oh, leave him alone, Glock," Celestia rolled her eyes in defense of Flash Sentry. Glock's face fell in surprise as Celestia exited her chambers to approach the two guards. "I trust you weren't looking to talk to me about your recent mishaps?"

"Of course not," Flash rose an eyebrow in puzzlement. "I wouldn't waste your time with something like that, princess," he assured her. "I just tried to talk to her not too long ago, but she didn't want anything to do with me," he sighed sadly.

"Well, in my opinion you shouldn't give up that-" Celestia attempted to give the stallion some advice, but he held his hoof up, silencing her.

"I-I'm sorry for wasting your time and sort of barging in on your meeting, Princess Celestia," Flash apologized. "If it helps, I won't say anything to anypony else I see about Princess Luna's situation," he swore. Flash felt bad about interrupting Celestia like that, especially when he knew she was going to give him some encouragement, but he truly didn't want to waste her time on something completely trivial. Especially when she had something far more important to occupy her mind with. The orange pegasus stood at proper attention and spun around to march the other way and resume his guard duties. "Hey!" Only to have some invisible force yanking on his tail. Flash turned to see Celestia's horn and his tail glowing gold as Celestia had a soft look of sympathy on her face.

"Please, don't leave just yet, Flash Sentry," Celestia requested. Seeing no other option, he sputtered and ceased resisting against Celestia's pull. "You caught us at a perfect time; I already have a plan set up to rescue Luna. Glock was just expressing his opinion about me going as well."

"I still don't want to waste your time, Celestia," Flash countered.

"Hmph," Celestia shook her head. "I may be able to help you out, Flash. Only if you'll allow me, however," she offered.

"What?" Both Flash and Glock asked at the exact same time.

"While I have our rescue mission planned out, there is still a few elements I require in order to execute it. I must speak with our friends in the dining hall and would like you to come with myself, Glock, Venom, and Bat Fang please," Celestia explained to Flash.

"And why is that, princess?" Flash wiggled his tail around after the alicorn's magic let him go.

"Well, while we are gone to rescue Luna, I would like you to try and at least return to a friendship level with Twilight Sparkle." Flash's eyes shot open and he immediately shook his head.

"But princess, why? I mean, Twilight doesn't want anything to do with me since I broke things off with her!" Flash exclaimed. This was a bit strange for Celestia. She knew a few things about love from her niece, but she would admit to anypony that she was definitely no expert. But if one of her loyal guards was depressed and distracted from his duties, and her favorite former student was in the same boat, she couldn't stand aside and let them suffer from their feelings.

"Because that's an order, soldier," Celestia ordered sternly like Luna would have. Flash did not expect that reaction whatsoever from Celestia who was normally a very sweet and understanding ruler. He took note that even Glock seemed a bit intimidated by her tone of voice and her hard stare. "I'm not ordering you to get back together, but at least try and return to a friendship level; I feel it would be very beneficial for the both of you," she explained. "Now follow me," she quickly added, trotting in between both Glock and Flash. Venom and Bat Fang emerged from Celestia's chambers, shutting the door behind them as the two other guards exchanged fearful looks with one another.

If the last time Flash Sentry had scoured this corridor seemed quick, then this time his journey would pass quicker than a heartbeat. Even under Celestia's orders, knowing that he was going to face Twilight again, and more than likely face rejection for even attempting to talk to her, was making him shake in his armor. What scared him the most was he believed Twilight's sarcasm to be a defense for her so she couldn't start crying in front of him, thus humiliating herself once again. He didn't want to have her humiliated for a second time in his presence.

Flash did want to at least be friends with Twilight, and maybe even apologize for dumping her so abruptly. But the actual thought of her getting so worked up to tears frightened him. He didn't feel he was even worthy to cry over, yet their breakup had been bad for the both of them apparently. Flash didn't even know of Twilight's condition until he was with standing guard in the throne room when Spike's letter appeared. The knowledge that his actions caused her to literally fall apart and become a hollow shell hurt him. And yet…..there was a very little chance of him checking in on her. Today felt like his one and only chance to at least apologize to the mare; she deserved that more than anything.

With every step he took closer to the dining hall door with Celestia and his fellow guards, Flash's heart rate increased, sweat started mat the fur on his body, and his breathing became more and more shallow. Would Twilight do the complete opposite of what he expected and yell at him? Calling him a no good jerk for just breaking up with her without giving her some time to decompress? Would Shining Armor even go the big brother route and prevent him from even looking in Twilight's direction?

"Flash Sentry, please calm yourself," Celestia's comforting voice shattered Flash's stress induced vision. Just like he thought, the trip was over in no time at all. Before the group of five ponies was indeed the large set of doors that led into the dining hall. "You're just trying to face Twilight Sparkle," she tried assure him, "not Tirek."

"At least I know what to expect of Tirek," Flash muttered under his breath, taking a deep breath to calm himself. However, it seemed as if none of the ponies around him had heard what he'd muttered, leaving the stallion alone with his thoughts for at least a few seconds before they'd have to enter the dining hall. Flash knew what his true feelings were. If he still didn't have a soft spot for Twilight, he wouldn't care whatsoever that she didn't want to talk to him. The stallion was fine if she didn't want to go back to what their relationship was; if she at least wanted to remain friends, he'd be overjoyed. All he really wanted was to apologize and acknowledge to her that he'd bucked up. Despite the dread of her response crawling under his fur, despite the shame he felt for what he'd done hanging over his head, despite guilt weighing his heart down, and just despite his fear of the unknown answers before him, all Flash wanted was to face Twilight Sparkle again and tell her he was sorry for acting too quickly to her problem.

"Good evening, everypony. I trust your dinner was satisfying?" Celestia greeted the members of the dining hall as she swung the doors open for her and the four guards.

---

(Ivan's POV)

"A-AJ!" I groaned as the mare's lips continuously grazed across my neck. My breathing was shallow and rapid as sparks of pleasure coursed through the skin. Nothing too intense had occurred since AJ had wanted to give me a special goodbye. At least I believe that's what she was going for. I could tell she was so built up with emotion knowing I was going to one of the most dangerous places in her world that she sort of snapped and used her energy to show me some love. Not that I was complaining about it.

"Ivan, just, just a lil longer, please!" She begged, holding her head up to look in my eyes. Her own emerald spheres were begging me to let this go on. Oh Christ I wanted to stay like this for eternity, but I didn't want to miss the boat when Celestia was ready to leave. I gingerly touched my palm to her cheek, just holding her face.

"I'm sorry Applejack, but….." That was all I could come up with. I didn't really know how to apologize for telling my girlfriend we needed to stop kissing like this. Applejack crawled up my body a little bit, allowing our faces to be completely even with each other. I could tell just by the look in her eyes that a big part of her still wanted me to stay where I wouldn't be harmed. Really, I couldn't get too angry at her for that; with the exception of Applebloom, she's never really had to fear for someone's life like this. Her friends were a different story. "AJ," I continued, holding her face in my hand, "I know you don't want to let me go, and I hate to stop, but I'm sure everyone's a little worried about us."

"Eeyup," she strained softly, trying to fight her stubbornness.

"And I'm positive you'd like to give Celestia a proper farewell and blessing for the mission?" I suggested, beginning to rub my thumb along her freckles. The mare whined just slightly as she rubbed her cheek against my palm.

"Ah know, Ivan. Ah just-" she tried to explain her position again until I kissed her forehead. The mare gasped from the ticklish contact, silencing her for but a brief moment.

"I love you too Applejack. And believe me, knowing that you'll be waiting for me gives me more of an incentive to come back. I've never really had anything to come back to when I was in the Air Force. Which is why," I put my other hand on her face, cupping it completely, "I promise I am coming back to everyone; especially you, Applejack." The mare didn't even move her eyes as I held her head. She just laid there on my stomach, staring straight at me. "But," I added, leaning forward. "I'll make up for lost time." AJ leaned forward as well, but she gasped sharply when I moved my head up and gently nibbled on her sensitive ear. "Only for you," I whispered after pausing for a second.

"Ah t-trust y-ya, Sugarcube," she moaned before I let go of her ear with my teeth. Knowing that there was no other alternatives to try and make me stay, Applejack climbed off of me and the bed, landing on the marble flooring with a light thud. I groaned as I sat up and stretched my muscles, eyeballing my girlfriend as she picked up our hats that had fallen to the floor when she tackled me onto the bed. She flipped her stetson onto her head and picked up my ball cap with her muzzled, setting it in my lap.

"Thanks," I scratched under her chin as I put the hat on, formulating an idea. The two of us stood side by side as we exited the spare room of the castle, shielding our eyes from the much brighter corridor on the other side. One look to the left made my jaw drop. "Wow, I didn't really get as far as I thought," I pointed out. The door to the dining hall was only thirty, maybe forty steps away. Then again, my head was so cluttered before that I thought I'd walked the length of five football fields before coming to a room.

"Yeah, Ah know. Ah ran out after ya and barely caught a glimpse 'o ya hustlin' in there," AJ agreed as we began our walk. "Ah knew where ya went; Ah just thought Ah'd give ya few minutes ta gather yer thoughts 'fore Ah tried ta help," she explained, digging her head under my hand so I was forced to pet the back of her mane. Again, no complaints came from me. "So how do ya plan ta get ta Ponyville 'n back so Celestia don't have ta wait too long?"

"Well, I want Celestia to keep as much magic in reserve as possible so she can have some at the ready for Draconia," I replied. "And I don't want Cadence exert too much stress since she's pregnant, so hopefully Twilight can give me a hand zapping me to Ponyville to grab my gear."

"Are ya sure ya have enough practice flyin'?"

"Uh, I haven't been practicing lately," I admitted, biting my lower lip. "But in the Air Force I had to eventually move from simulators only to the real deal. This is like the ultimate test flight," I explained, continuing to pet her mane. We didn't really have anything else to talk about while the dining hall grew closer. I could feel AJ shaking just a bit, still fearing for what could happen to all of us when something made us stop cold.

"NO!" A loud shriek emitted from behind the door. Without even thinking, I ran forward and threw the doors open like a maniac, searching for whatever was wrong as AJ followed closely. Celestia, Glock, Bat Fang, Venom, and Flash Sentry were now present in the dining hall. Yet the weird part was Rainbow Dash was mysteriously gone, and no one noticed AJ and I enter the room. What really grabbed my attention was Twilight squeezing Spike and seemingly holding him away from Celestia. "You can't take him there!" Twilight exclaimed, sprouting her wings to act as a protective barrier around her son.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded in a concerned voice. It wasn't loud enough to be a yell, but it was enough to get everyone's attention.

"Cougar!" Twilight turned her attention to me. "Thank goodness. Please! Please tell Celestia how asinine it is for her to take Spike to Draconia! She'll listen to somepony with a military background." The purple pony squeezed the poor dragon even more. His eyes looked about ready to burst from their sockets.

'Gee, thanks a fucking lot Twilight!' My inner voice cursed. I hated just being put on the spot, especially when I just arrived somewhere. I couldn't say a word as I shifted my gaze over to Celestia. The white alicorn didn't seem upset that Twilight accused her of being asinine, but she still held a stern look on her face.

"I am glad you are back as well, Cougar," Celestia greeted me. "I have just sent Rainbow Dash to Cloudsdale to retrieve Soarin and one other Wonderbolt for the trip," she briefly explained.

"Okay," I nodded slowly as AJ and I approached the large dining table. 'Looks like AJ and I got here just in time,' I thought.

"And I was just trying to explain to Twilight Sparkle that I wish for Spike to accompany myself, Glock, Bat Fang, Rainbow Dash, Soarin, and whichever Wonderbolt they choose."

"Princess Celestia! Why are you acting like you're just sending my son to get milk? The last time Spike was around other dragons he was almost pressured into becoming something he's not!" Twilight was struggling hard to not only hold back some tears, but from cursing and yelling at her former mentor.

"I must agree with Twilight, princess Celestia," Rarity stood on her hind legs, bracing herself against the table. "No offense to Spike whatsoever, but he has no training on how to deal with other dragons should the worst happen. And besides, how will he even get there? The poor thing has no wings."

"Well Twilight," Applejack cleared her throat, "have y'all even given princess Celestia a chance ta explain why she wants Spike ta go?" Both Twilight and Rarity shook their heads in response, yet still didn't falter in their reasonings for Spike not to go. I'm glad the attention shifted around from me; I understood why Twilight didn't want him to go, but I also had an understanding why Celestia wanted him to go. Applejack turned her head to Celestia, "Well then yer highness, why do ya want Spike ta go?" Celestia gave a little sigh, probably feeling like a weight was lifted from her shoulders after being allowed to explain herself.

"Twilight Sparkle, I know you fear for your son's safety, but as you know I did give Spike a few lessons as well when I was mentoring you," Twilight nodded slowly in agreement. "And he managed to take over your spot briefly over the past two weeks," Celestia continued. "I wish for Spike to go because he could make a great asset in returning Princess Luna home. Relations between dragons and ponies are certainly not all too well. If Spike can go and speak alongside myself to King Horntail, I pray that the dragon king can see if our species gives one another a chance, our kingdoms can unite and flourish. And it may even earn us some sympathy from Horntail, which could lead to a better chance of him helping us in our search," Celestia softly explained.

I wanted to praise Celestia and give her a standing ovation for that reasoning. It was not only to help get Luna back, but to soften relations between two different countries. Celestia was an even better ruler than King Odin in my opinion. "But…..but," Twilight's lower lip quivered.

"Do you not trust Spike to make mature decisions if he is pressured again?" Celestia questioned.

"I trust him!" Twilight blurted out, rocking back and forth as she clutched Spike to her body.

"Well, do you not trust me to keep him safe?"

"Please don't make me feel guilty!" The purple alicorn begged. Celestia gave her former student an apologetic look and cautiously walked over to where she was clinging to her dragon son. With her large wing, Celestia ran the feathers down Twilight's mane, trying to comfort her.

"I am not attempting to guilt you. I am simply seeking to set your mind at ease Twilight Sparkle," the larger pony soothed. Twilight clenched her eyes shut and rested her chin on Spike's head, rubbing back and forth.

"Well...I have faith Spike will stay safe," Twilight swallowed roughly. I saw her position where she didn't want her son to face a possible danger without her going, but I was a little surprised she didn't try to volunteer to take his place. I could only speculate that she was aware that having three princesses in danger like that would set Equestria back possibly hundreds of years, especially if Blueblood were to take over as leader.

"I will be there should anything happen," Celestia continued to placate the smaller pony, going as far as sitting on her own haunches to be eye level with her former protege.

"But if you're focused on speaking with King Horntail and trying to find Luna, how will you be able to watch over Spike?" Twilight continued to challenge Celestia, trying to find any logical excuse.

"Princess Twilight, don't forget we'll still be there as well. It's our duty," Glock cut in, approaching Twilight as well and stood at attention next to her. Twilight lifted her head off the top of Spike's and looked to her side at the pegasus guard.

"Except you're supposed to be watching over Celestia. Even with Rainbow Dash, Soarin and another Wonderbolt there, I just want somepony to make sure Spike is ok," Twilight quickly shot down Glock's explanation.

"Mom, I'll stick with Celestia and the guards. Besides, like you said, Rainbow Dash will be there. I have a good feeling I'll be ok," Spike tapped Twilight's shoulder.

"I-I know Spike. But they'll all be busy guarding Celestia….." she trailed off, sounding like she was running out of ideas to discredit Celestia's idea. However, while I could clearly see Twilight's argument, I felt that she might have been acting a little too clingy. Spike would have the best guards, and myself hopefully, and even Princess Celestia to protect him from harm. Having Spike go could even help Twilight learn how to let her son go once in awhile without her help. "I just don't want anything to happen to anypony, especially you, Spike," Twilight groaned as it appeared a migraine was starting to form within her head.

"Nothing will happen to him, princess," a voice spoke out. Everyone looked over to the pony that had inserted themselves into the conversation and headed over to Twilight. "Because I'll watch over him for you. While Celestia has two guards and three Wonderbolts to keep an eye out for her, I can personally keep an eye out for your son," Flash Sentry announced.

"Flash?" Spike and Twilight reacted the way I'm sure everyone was thinking. After their breakup, I was honestly shocked that Flash would be the one to volunteer. He wasn't a bad pony by any means, but it's not too often something like this happens. AJ and I even gave unsure glances toward one another.

"Since you, and practically all of us accept your claim that Spike the Dragon is your son, therefore he is technically a royal prince because of your status," Flash explained in the most guard-like voice I'd heard from him. "Add that to the fact that he is important politically to Equestria, he could stand to have his own personal guard on the trip. I am more than willing take on the role, your highness," the orange pegasus bowed to Twilight.

"Are you feeling okay, Flash?" Pinkie Pie cocked her head.

"Well, I do happen to have a, um, prior connection," Flash sounded a bit nervous, "with Spike. So perhaps an acquaintance would be the best choice to guard him," he explained. Silence flooded the room whilst we gave Twilight some brief time to ponder what answer she would choose. Nobody wanted to put her on the spot, but she chose that path herself.

"O-okay," Twilight squeaked just like Fluttershy. Celestia's face was washed over with a look of relief, glad that she had gotten Twilight to agree.

"You have my word that Spike will come back just as he left," Flash bowed again to Twilight. The two ponies locked eyes shortly before succumbing to pained expressions on their faces, forcing the duo to look away shamefully from each other.

"There is but one more thing left to do before Rainbow Dash returns," Celestia announced. It wasn't hard to get everyone's attention, so Celestia didn't pause for too long. "Cougar," she turned to me, catching me by surprise. "You mentioned that you have experience speaking with leaders both domestic and foreign, correct?" Was this really happening? Did I really not even need to ask her for permission to join the rescue team?

"Uh, yeah?" was the only answer I could think of. "But I never initiated the meetings; I always my commanding officer present," I quickly added.

"Good enough; you can be a temporary royal advisor for the trip," the alicorn revealed. "Should you agree to go of course," she added, "I will not force you if you do not wish to go." Needless to say, everyone else was hit by shock. Of course I didn't blame them for not thinking I could do anything for the mission.

"That's actually what Applejack and I have been discussing, Celestia," I replied, standing up from my seat. "I can't just say no and stay here while a friend is in need, so to make this short, yes I agree to go," I accepted her invitation. "But just so you know, I'll let you do most of the talking since as Applejack pointed out to me, Spike is the only dragon I've ever been in contact with."

"Luna always believed you could make a good guard; we'll see if her beliefs were indeed correct," Celestia shot me a smile. "Besides, having somepony with your background of joining alliances with foreign kingdoms could prove valuable to us."

"Yeah," I had to hide the fact that I've only really 'joined alliances' with fighter squadrons of Great Britain, Australia, Israel, and France. Not too many, but it was better than nothing. "One problem though. My gear is back in Ponyville; I don't think the train is fast enough," I tried to explain. "And to be honest, I don't want Cadence to stress herself too much," I pointed to the pink alicorn that was trying to comfort Twilight. Celestia just smirked at me.

"No problem Cougar," she assured me. 'She's not gonna Deus-Ex-Machina my stuff here is she?' I thought to myself. "Twilight Sparkle, I am in need of your service," Celestia politely barked. Slowly, Spike, Cadence, and Shining Armor peeled away from Twilight, allowing the semi-depressed alicorn to make her way over to myself and Celestia.

"Y-yes princess? I-I'm sorry I called you asinine!" She stuttered and quickly apologized.

"It's quite all right Twilight. You were just thinking about Spike's safety. However, Cougar here is in need of your help," Celestia turned Twilight's head toward me.

(Ten Minutes Later)

"All right Sugarcube, ya seem ta be all, strapped, in!i" Applejack grunted as she helped tighten the straps on my jetpack. It didn't hurt me whatsoever; I had to be just as tightly strapped in my F-15 before I had to fly. AJ circled around me a few more times, checking every inch of the straps to make sure they wouldn't come apart while I was hundreds of feet in the air. Slipping back into my flight suit took some getting used to after not using it for nearly a year. I never used it when Rainbow Dash would help train me at the Wonderbolts Academy since I would fly for brief bursts rather than a sustained period of time. "Looks like yer all set Ivan," Applejack patted my side with her hoof.

With Twilight's help, I was able to grab everything I needed from my shack at Sweet Apple Acres in no time. Everything including my combat knife and revolver; I didn't want to risk being caught without them should defense be necessary. When Twilight and I returned to the castle, Rainbow Dash, Soarin, and Misty Fly had arrived to receive further instruction from Celestia. Since they didn't mention it, I'm guessing neither Celestia nor Rainbow clued in Soarin and Misty Fly that Luna was actually carrying a foal. Whether or not they should know was up to Celestia in my book. "Are ya 100% positive Ah can't talk ya outta this?" Applejack nudged me lovingly. I knew she was teasing me; it seemed to be her natural defense against facing a serious issue like this.

"Nope," I knelt down and hugged her tightly. "Sorry Applejack, but protecting others is what I was born to do," I tapped my callsign on my purple and gold helmet that was sitting on the floor next to me. Only a few feet away, Twilight was busy saying goodbye to Spike. Celestia was kind enough to grant all of us time to bid farewell to our friends before our journey began. Myself, Rainbow, and Spike and already said our goodbyes to our regular friends, but Spike and I wanted to have a special goodbye for Twilight and Applejack.

"I'm so proud of the young dragon you are Spike," Twilight smoothed out the spines atop Spike's purple head with her hoof. "And I'm sorry I'm so worrisome, but-"

"I'm still your little Spike, I know mom," I heard Spike chuckle as he shifted his position to hug his mom. "And yes, I know to keep my manners in check and represent Equestria like you've raised me too. And I promise to write whenever we stop to take a break and when we arrive in Draconia," he added when Twilight opened her mouth to speak again.

"That's my boy," Twilight held back a sniffle as she let Spike go out of her forelegs. I peered over to them as Flash cleared his throat from behind Twilight. "And you be good for Flash too," she added, pursing her lips as she tried to keep her cool around Flash.

"Don't worry mom; I will," Spike assured her.

"I'll bake you a three-layer gem cake when you get back," she gave the dragon a sad smile.

"So," I looked back at AJ who was sitting on her haunches in front of me. "Should we have told Granny Smith, Big Mac, or Bloom that I'm going to Draconia?" I asked my girlfriend. I didn't want the three to worry about me, but I couldn't even imagine the pain they would feel should the worst happen and I wasn't around to say goodbye. Especially little Applebloom who was practically a surrogate little sister to me now.

"Ah'm sure one 'o Celestia or Luna's guards wouldn't mind flyin' a quick message ta the farm," she replied, giving me an encouraging smile. "This was just so sudden ya know?"

"Yeah, I know," I nodded in agreement. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Applejack stood up from her haunches and wrapped her forelegs around my shoulders.

"Ah will after this," she said before pulling me in tight, smashing our mouths together. Despite our little session earlier, I wasn't going to pass up kissing her goodbye again. It was just a straight albeit rough closed mouth kiss that seemed to stretch on before we were interrupted.

"Spike, Cougar? Princess Celestia is ready to go," Misty Fly announced to the five of us. Twilight looked as if she wanted to get something else in, but went for a classic forehead kiss to Spike as he hugged her one last time. AJ and I separated from our kiss as I stood up, double checking that the knife holsters that Glock loaned me were still securing my weapons properly. I breathed in deeply and swiftly scooped my helmet off the ground, holding it under my arm as AJ and I trekked over to the large balcony where everyone was waiting for us. Celestia, Glock, Bat Fang, Rainbow Dash, and Soarin all stood near the end of the balcony, ready for takeoff.

"Yeah! It's time to save Princess Luna!" Soarin cheered, trying to have an upbeat attitude about all this. With a sigh, I, Spike, Flash Sentry, and Misty Fly marched our way across the balcony to join the others that would be going on the mission. Most were waving goodbye, but Pinkie was the only one saluting all of us as she had a military helmet strapped to her head. Rarity even gave Spike a special kiss on the cheek for luck before he would take off on Celestia's back. Before I could go any further, I stopped about halfway to Celestia, turning around to face Applejack.

"Cougar, we must go," Celestia softly reminded me as a light breeze whipped past us.

"This'll just take a second, Celestia," I assured her. Before she could answer, I pulled my ball cap off my head and quickly strapped my helmet on.

"Applejack," I announced, handing her my Drive to End Hunger hat, "I can't really take this with me to Draconia, so do you think you could keep an eye on it for me?" I requested of her. She already knew how much the hat meant to me; there was no need to remind her. The mare took a brief glimpse of my hat before nodding, lightly taking the bill in her teeth. "Thanks," I added as I stood up and tightened the chinstrap of my helmet, giving the thumbs up to Celestia.

"Hey, Celestia?" A soft voice called out. Checkered Flag, the poor stallion, emerged from within the group and stood in front of the alicorn. "When you find Luna, can you please tell her I'm sorry for not being able to protect her?"

"Checkered Flag, you know my sister won't hear of that nonsense!" Celestia retorted. "I can and will tell her that you'll be waiting with a special hug for her," she stated firmly. The earth pony nodded before quickly hugging Celestia. She had no qualms with hugging her future brother-in-law. "Now, we must bid you all farewell," she looked up and spoke to those who were staying. I pushed the button on one of my straps to turn my jetpack on. "We will return as soon as possible, but my baby sister awaits us, my little ponies." She announced, flaring her wings and hovering above us all. "Goodbye to you all!" She sounded off with her royal canterlot voice as Spike hopped onto her back before she took flight away from the castle. One by one, Glock, Bat Fang, Flash Sentry, Rainbow Dash, Soarin, and Misty Fly took off from the balcony.

I looked back behind me to see Applejack giving me a huge smile as she waved her foreleg back and forth. I took a deep breath, pumped my arms back to activate the wings of my jetpack, and leapt off the balcony railing. I free-fell for a second or two before sweeping my arms back, gaining speed and altitude as I joined up the rear of the flight group as Celestia briefly lowered the sun for us. As we all set a comfortable speed, I focused directly on what was ahead. Not the horizon that seemed to just be in reach, but finding and rescuing Luna and her unborn foal, and returning to my only love. I had a promise to keep.

Out along the edges

Always where I burn to be

The further on the edge

The hotter the intensity

Highway to the danger zone

Gonna take you

Right into the danger zone

(Third Person POV)

As the group of nine left, everyone else stood or sat, if that was their preference, staring at the far off sunset that swallowed up the bodies that had flown in its direction. Everyone trotted forward and placed their hooves on the railing of the balcony, waiting. The sunset soon disappeared, giving way to a moon and night sky that paled in comparison to Princess Luna's. Eventually, everyone turned in for the night with Luna and the rescue party in their prayers. All except for four.

Applejack removed her stetson and tossed it behind her, acting like it never existed. She held Ivan's hat within her hooves, refusing to let it go. The mare looked down at the red and black object, catching the faint aroma of her colt friend's scent on the inside. Without second guessing herself, Applejack put the hat on her head and stared off in the direction he had gone in.

Twilight, having learned a thing or two from Pinkie Pie, reached into her own mane and pulled out a piece of paper. It was a drawing Spike had made while Twilight was still a little filly under Celestia's guidance. The alicorn traced her hoof over the crudely drawn dragon and purple unicorn on the paper as she nuzzled the drawing of the dragon with her nose. It was still the most beautiful drawing she'd ever seen in her life. 'Please, come back safe,' she thought to herself.

As for Rarity, the unicorn couldn't even think of beauty sleep as her friends were off trying to save Princess Luna. The mare cupped the large fire ruby that was hanging around her neck. She lifted it up to see her own reflection, only able to think about her Spikey-Wikey growing up and facing something as dangerous as dragons without her or Twilight to help him this time. The little dragon who grew up before her very eyes was making her think vastly different.

In between both Twilight and Applejack sat Checkered Flag. The stallion was the only one of the trio who could say anything. However, there was but one word he was able to utter again and again as he hung his forelegs over the railing, looking up at the sky. "Lulu."

End Chapter 51

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Next time: We get to see Draconia and King Horntail! But will our rescue squadron find Luna?

Once again, THANK YOU to everyone for their patience. That makes a huge amount of difference when I'm trying to update. I know it's not easy waiting awhile for a chapter to update, but you guys deserve the best that I can come up with. I won't throw something together in just three or four days and call it good.

And speaking of which, I have the next chapter all planned out and ready to type, but I don't know how long it will take. Yet if you guys show the same patience you did with this chapter, you will be in for such a treat.

One more thing, reading Ivan's scenes may seem a bit rushed to some readers, but I intended for that. I wanted you guys to feel how quickly the realization was setting in; how Ivan's emotions were quickly pointing him into what he should be doing.