Fallen Eagle

Chapter 30: Clear your Mind

I know it's technically the 31st chapter including the prologue, but: THIRTY CHAPTERS! WHOO-HOO!

Yes, I know that I said the next chapter would be the Confession chapter, but I decided to exclude this part from Chapter 29 and include it in its own mini chapter to help tide you guys over while I work to perfect the Confession. I really hope you guys understand and enjoy this mini chapter. The reason why I chose this particular character to have a one on one talk with Cougar was because this character has not actually spoken much to Cougar and I felt these two could click together on a few things.

Also, another 15 reviews? We're approaching 300 and sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming when I see how high that number gets every time I come to work on a new chapter. If we can get to 300 reviews (21 away as of the posting of this chapter) by the Confession chapter, I may write a chapter where Cougar interacts with just my other OCs, (Glock and Checkered) Spike, Luna, Celestia and the background ponies, yes, including Dr. Whooves.

Lelouch-Strife: Patience, young Padawan.

OBSERVER01: I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I WISH Fluttershy would just stop paying attention to Angel all together until he learns to appreciate how much she cares for him.

CorvusYT: Because, cliffhangers keep people wondering, and I want to keep people wondering for the next chapter.

Uss71832: You're welcome, that could save your life one day if you're trapped in a slasher movie situation :P I'll be thinking of ways for her to tell him; right now it's all about the CouJack.

PRRGangsta: I'm glad you're excited. And I'm glad most people have waited patiently.

Guest: Thank you and happy (late) birthday. Hope you had a good one.

Random Guy: Why thank you. I hate taking too long and sometimes I worry if wait more than 10 days to write another chapter, people will stop caring, but it looks like that's not true. Oh and there are plenty of authors better than me.

Sassymouse: Surpassing 200 reviews is a milestone worthy of getting a shoutout! When life gives you the CMC, you damn well better make them adorable, it's like, the 11th Commandment. Thou shalt make the Cutie Mark Crusaders adorable.

Dixie Darlin: I am very happy to have made a major FlutterCord author proud of my teeny FlutterCord moment. While that isn't the main couple of the story, I'll do my best to keeping making you and other fans happy.

UpgraderIsAwesome489: Thank you once again!

StacheKing: Good to see a reviewer of your calibre back. Let me just say thanks for the honesty in your review about the pacing of the party and I'm happy to know that I have fixed it and a few of my other readers tell me it's much improved, and I have to give most of the credit to you sir. I like to take time to make sure every chapter is as good as possible. And I hope to see you more often on here.

InSaNiTy15: You must; waiting is a good thing.

KillerWow: Mmm, perhaps, though you'll just have to read to find out :P

Guestspirit: Read the chapter and come find me to see if you're right lol

Konigstiger334: I understand exactly what you mean about life getting in the way, but I'm really happy to hear you still enjoy what I'm writing. All I can say about the confession is it WON'T be cheesy and boring.

As you read this chapter, the confession chapter is in the works, and I'm doing all I can to make sure it's worthy enough for you guys :)

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(Balcony on top story of the Castle of Friendship. Cougar's POV)

Breathing in the cool, nippy air of the night felt good in my nostrils. Most of the ponies that went outside during this time of year, whether it was day or night, bundled themselves to the bone with scarves, hats, whatever they could get their hooves on to keep their body heat from reducing. Having been born and raised in Alaska for so many years, the lower temperatures here in Ponyville felt so normal and perfect that one of my new T-Shirts that Rarity made for me was all I needed. Sitting down on one of the chairs that Twilight had set out for her nighttime studies, I propped my legs up on the railing of the balcony, relaxing after one of the most heartwarming birthdays I ever had. The fact that this was my first birthday since the day of my birth without Reaper with me was a tough bite to swallow, but I eventually got over it and enjoyed myself with my new friends, especially the gift that my friend Applejack made for me. "Is something troubling you Cougar?" A voice as soft as silk and as sweet as chocolate shattered my thoughts.

"Princess Celestia," I dropped my legs from the top of the railing and stood up for a quick bow. I was glad to see that my manners towards royalty were still completely intact. Celestia's hooves clopped against the crystal flooring of the balcony as she approached me and touched her horn to my head.

"Please, this is just us as friends," the white Alicorn chuckled, "no need for those ridiculous formalities now, especially on your own birthday," Celestia assured me, sitting down herself on the second chair sitting on the balcony.

"You know me Celestia," I cracked my knuckles, retaking my seat next to her, "I always show respect to my superiors, whatever the custom may be," my explanation reminded her. Rolling her pinkish eyes, Celestia's golden magic burst in the air, revealing a tea pot and a pair of teacups with saucers.

"Care for some hot cocoa?" She offered, "it's quite chilly out, though you don't seem to mind or notice," the steaming brown liquid poured from the teapot into both cups. Her golden aura surround the cup closest to her and floated it up to her muzzle, sipping it politely before setting both cup and saucer back in front of her.

"Can't go wrong with hot cocoa in winter," I grinned towards her, softly grasping the second cup and saucer in my hands and slurping the delicious beverage a little more loudly than I had first anticipated. Luckily for me, the alicorn cared not as she continued to enjoy the beauty of Ponyville's Hearth's Warming decorations at this time of night.

"Indeed," Celestia swallowed more of her cocoa. "Now, the reason I came up here," she reminded me, "is there something amiss Cougar? You seemed generally pleased with the party your friends put together. And you also seemed overjoyed with your presents," she pondered.

"Hmm," I replied, allowing the warm cup to keep my fingers heated, "well a present is nice just for the thought that someone took time to think about someone else to get them something," I explained, "but the fact that Applejack stayed up all night, hoof-making me my own Apple family cowboy hat, that was just something really special, you know?" I asked her.

"Of course I do, Cougar. I recall when Luna made me my own necklace when we were but a pair of fillies." Celestia admitted to me, pouring herself another cup, "making something with your own hooves is the best way of showing somepony how deeply you care about them," she placed one of her golden-plated hooves atop my hand and softly massaged it, smiling.

"Yeah, Applejack's proven that to me ever since she allowed me to stay with her family," I returned the smile. "I've got to do something really special for her as repayment," I added. "But to answer your question: No, nothing is wrong or amiss with me Celestia," I answered, "something about winter time, the cooler temperatures, silent nights and the darkness it brings just helps me clear my head when I sit outside, I'm sure you have a time or place that helps you clear your head as well?" I asked her. She pursed her lips and nodded, agreeing with me, but something about her seemed amiss to me. Of course it could have the colder weather could be making her uncomfortable, or perhaps she didn't let her cocoa cool off enough.

"Oh yes I do," she gulped down her drink and stuck her tongue out, allowing the cooler air to placate her mouth. "Although I'm not as fond of winter time as you are, I understand that being alone in one's favorite environment can help to clear their mind," she said. "But, that raises a further question," Celestia cleared her throat, "what exactly do you need to clear your mind about?" Setting the cup and saucer on top of the railing, my fingers intertwined and I laid my hands on my lap.

"Just, certain feelings coursing inside of me and getting over the realization that this will be my first Christmas without Reaper," I confessed right up front. I saw no point in lying or beating around the bush with a nearly omniscient and powerful alicorn, even if she understood that I may not want to reveal the true reason. Shockingly, Celestia skipped right to my confession about Christmas and Reaper, ignoring the 'certain feelings' that I had mentioned. Maybe she already knew what I was talking about didn't need further information.

"What is Christmas, Cougar?" She curiously asked me, leaning forward to get as much knowledge as she could from me. I wasn't prepared to explain Christmas to anyone this year or however long I could live here; her question came straight out of blue, forcing me to have to think for a moment.

"Well, the main gist of Christmas is: In the religion I believe in, we celebrate the birth of the son of our God on December 25th. We also used this holiday to spend the entire day with family members, friends and other people we love to cherish everyone important in our lives," I explained.

"Intriguing," was the only word Celestia could say to me, leaning back into her seat. "And what a strange coincidence that your 'Christmas,'" she air-quoted with her hooves, "happens to fall on the same day as Hearth's Warming."

"I thought so too," I smiled, "though you're actually the first pony here I've told about Christmas," I revealed. "I figured I didn't want to intrude on your holiday, so I kept it a secret and just decided to celebrate it, alone," I found out how sad that sounded.

"Oh Cougar," Celestia said in a motherly tone, "you should know by now how understanding ponies here are; they wouldn't think you were intruding upon their holiday spirits with your own personal holiday. And from the sounds of Christmas, you would've been pretty miserable celebrating a holiday intended for families and loved ones all by your lonesome," her hoof stroked my shoulder, gently rubbing across my shoulder blade. A gentle winter breeze flowed by, swirling little clouds of snow and snowflakes across the sky in front of us. "I believe you should tell all of your friends about Christmas, then you will not be forced to spend it wishing your friend Reaper was with you," she said boldly. Celestia was correct by stating that. I would've been a real stick in the mud by just acting depressed on my friends' Hearth's Warming holiday.

"You're right Celestia," I shook her hoof, "I don't know what I was thinking. Every time I've included my friends in Earth customs, I've enjoyed them more than I have before. I'll tell them first thing in the morning; we'll still have 23 days to plan both holidays," I grinned.

"That sounds perfect, and I'll be sure to have Twilight educate you a little about Hearth's Warming, if you are okay with that," she offered. My chair creaked as I leaned my back against it, stroking my chin and pondering about the offer.

"Yeah sure. I want to show as much respect as I can for your culture Celestia," I took up her offer.

"Wonderful, I shall have Twilight Sparkle put together an abridged report so it doesn't bore you," she assured me, "I know how sometimes Twilight takes things a little too seriously, but she's still a good pony, there's no doubt about that." My thoughts drifted to another matter that wasn't important at all, but it still bugged me to know the reason. Quietly refilling my cup, my mind was engaged with itself in a game of tug-of-war, and my curious side was winning.

"Celestia," I began. She turned her head to face me for whatever it is I wanted to speak to her about. "May I have permission to speak freely?" I requested. Sure, seeing my military side pop up now again when speaking was a little weird, but I wasn't sure at all if this would offend or upset Celestia in any way.

"Permission granted, Cougar," she replied with a sly smile. Gulping, I leaned more of my body weight on my arm as I shifted my position around in the chair.

"You're the ruler of all of Equestria, correct?" I inquired. The white alicorn nodded, still interested in what I had to ask. "Well, if you are, then why is your title still Princess and not Queen?" I asked her, "I understand that since you're the eldest sister, you would be first in line to be Queen, but you kept the title of Princess, how come?" I added. Celestia slowly rolled her neck to the side, stripping her gaze from me and let out a sad sigh as she looked outwards to the lights of the village. Her transparent rainbow mane seemed to slow down from its flowing. "I didn't say anything inappropriate, did I?" I asked, afraid I had upset her. She quickly shook her head, but her sighing never stopped.

"Well," she gulped, "you already know of the story of how Luna became Nightmare Moon, correct?" She answered with a question.

"Of course," I replied, "she told me the whole story on Nightmare Night. Does your reason have anything to do with Luna's, transformation?" I tip-toed around the word for multiple reasons, the main one being I really didn't want to upset both Luna and Celestia.

"This goes back to even before Nightmare Moon, Cougar," Celestia turned back to me. "My sister and I always ruled side by side, even back when Discord was trying to take over Equestria, it was our job to both defend and rule our land. However, I've always loved my little sister and I never wanted her to think that I believed to be better than her, so when we came into power over Equestria, I decided that both of us shall share the title of 'Princess.' It's possible to have more than one princess or prince, but it cannot work to have two queens, hence another reason we kept the same title," she explained to me. "Sure, there was more than one occasion of a guard or a citizen slipping up and calling me Queen Celestia, but I reminded them I am but a princess and they can also turn to Luna for help if need be."

"And then?" I had a pretty good idea of what happened next, but I allowed Celestia to continue her story.

"And then the dark times hit us full force. As you already know, the citizens embraced and enjoyed the day that my sun brought, but they shunned and slept through Luna's night that her moon brought. I tried everything I could to keep her on the path of peace, but she was too far gone and became Nightmare Moon. With no choice left, I had to imprison her on the moon until she could be reformed. For the next 1000 years, it was a good enough excuse to adopt the title of 'Queen Celestia,' but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and I had to ignore everypony that suggested it, even have guards detain them until they were silenced. I loved my baby sister too much to act so selfish and declare that I was the new queen and make it seem I forgot all about her. And I knew things between us wouldn't be the best when she returned, but I kept her room and her throne in pristine condition for her return."

"Did she ask you why you didn't make yourself a queen, Celestia?" I asked the alicorn.

"It was the first thing she asked after Twilight Sparkle and her friends reformed her back to her younger self," Celestia responded, "her reformation drained most of her magic to the point that she was smaller than she was before she turned and her mane and tail did not look like they do today. I told her the exact same thing I just told you, Cougar," she blinked a few tears from her eyes, "we were meant to rule Equestria together, and I will not place myself on a better level than her, not now, not ever," she concluded, wiping her eyes with her hoof.

"Wow," I whispered, placing my hand on her shoulder. "That's so sweet of you Celestia," I admitted.

"I love Luna more than anything in the world, even Glock. It hurt so much to send my baby sister away that I turned to cake to fill the void that was gone," I wrapped my arms around the white alicorn to calm her down. "No matter what anypony says, she is my sister and we are both equal, neither of us is better than the other," she added. I was about to say something else when Celestia added something I didn't expect, "Cougar, there's something important that you must know."

"W-what?" I questioned. Celestia's golden magic removed my arms from around her shoulders as she stood up. One of her golden-plated hooves gently graced itself atop my shoulders as she stared into my eyes sadly, at least that's what her eyes showed me. "Y-your highness?" I nervously exclaimed.

"Oh Cougar, I am so sorry. Do you remember when you first arrived in Equestria?" She apologized and asked. 'What the hell is she sorry for?' I pondered internally, but never took my gaze away from her.

"All I remember is waking up to see over half a dozen ponies and a dragon staring at me in the hospital," I replied, still puzzled why she wanted me to remember my arrival to Equestria. Another cold breeze blew by, making her mane pick up speed but not by much because of her saddened state.

"Of course, and do you remember your reaction to us?" She pressed on, albeit rhetorically as she didn't give me much time to answer. "I completely understood how frightened and defensive you became when you awakened. However, have you ever wondered why you became so compliant and willing to stay here?" I had never actually considered that before now that I was given time to ponder the idea. The only thing I had figured was the exhaustion from ejecting had fried my brain so much that I was willing to sleep off the shock of everything.

"Not in particular, why?" I replied.

"You must understand that what I did was in your best interest and the best interest of my ponies, Cougar," Celestia said.

"What the hell are you talking about? The only thing you did was help calm me down with your voice, it's very soothing," I cracked a tiny smile for her.

"Cougar, that's not all I did," she said very seriously. "I thank you for the compliment of my voice, but that wasn't enough to calm you down. For you see, while I was holding you back from trying to flee the room and possibly hurt yourself or somepony else, I cast a mind control spell on you."

"Excuse me?" I asked in disbelief.

"To make sure you would be safe until we could get some answers out of you, I had cast a spell on your mind that made you compliant with us and made you sleep," she admitted as tears threatened to burst from her eyes. "Luna removed the spell when you and her had your midnight talk; I used the mental link we share to have her take it away from you," she added. "I can understand if you're upset with me, and I am sorry that I never told you until now, but you must know that I did it because you looked scared and helpless," a few tears did crawl down out of her eyes and down her cheeks. "Rest assured that you actions after that night with Luna were of your own doing, especially defending your friends on your camping trip and your feelings for Applejack."

"Well, that's a thinker," was the only sentence that came out of my mouth as I sat back down on my chair.

"Again, I understand if you're upset with me Cougar," Celestia said rather briskly. I held my hand up and softly petted along her neck. "I can say though that the decisions you've made and the actions you've performed while her are ones to be most proud of."

"There's no way I could be upset Celestia," I looked back up at the alicorn, "thank you," I added. "If it wasn't for you, who knows what stupid-ass decisions I could've made trying to escape your castle. I probably would've been killed by one of your guards or by a mob of angry citizens in the state I was in. And I never would have discovered just how much better this world is than mine, or how powerful friendship is," I muttered the last part. The door to the balcony creaked open to reveal Glock waiting in the warmth of the castle.

"Tia, Cougar, we were all wondering if you had frozen into icicles yet," he joked and slowly trotted our way. "What were you two up to?" He politely asked, nuzzling Celestia's cheek with his own. The alicorn and I looked at and winked which Glock didn't seem to notice.

"I was just enjoying the cool night air and the lights of the town's decorations," I explained, "and then Celestia offered to share some cocoa with me and keep me company," I added, "and I thank her," I picked up her fore-hoof and lightly kissed above her golden plate. The alicorn blushed before gently taking her hoof away from my hand.

"It was my pleasure Cougar, now let's go rejoin our friends," she suggested. Thinking that was a grand idea, Glock and I allowed the alicorn princess to enter the castle first before we closed the balcony door as its quiet echo pursued us back inside.

End Chapter 30

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I hope you enjoyed this mini chapter, and I hope you're all still pumped for the Confession that WILL happen next chapter, I promise.