(The title is a reference to the G3 MLP movie "A Charming Birthday", which I was unfortunate enough to own as a child.)

Author's Note: Guess who might have narcolepsy! :D (plz send help)

Okay, I'm sorry for the absurdly long delay with this one, as always, I've been struggling with a lot of personal stuff- it's kinda obliterating my motivation to do anything. I don't expect to get updates out fast anymore. I work on the story EVERY DAY but I never seem to make much progress. I don't know how!

Guest 24- Yep! Vote for Dashie guys! God, I hate getting political; what the hell made me write this? xD

Luna'snight625- "Oh boy" is right, my friend.

Amellia Rose- I think it was too short. That chapter should have been out in like a week, what the heck is wrong with me?! I'll try to speed up to make the chapters longer next time.

StormStar12- Yo! Glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll try to speed up my schedule in the future. I work on this story almost every night but I have a really short attention span… yeah, this causes a lot of problems… but I'm pleased that you were happy when this updated. It's such a rare occurrence as of late. ^u^

Litestardt- Aw, sorry that you have to wait a while for SpitBurn; but I have some news for you: There will be another SpitBurn chapter in a couple chapters' time. I've been waiting to write that particular chapter for like a year now! And WHOA SLOW DOWN! Haha, I like your enthusiasm but they haven't even been on a date yet! But who knows, maybe someday they'll get married. However, I don't think they'd have kids. Braeburn isn't good at looking after children and in the official MLP comics Spitfire has this crippling fear of interacting with foals. Oh well, that's just another area they match up in. But things could change. Who knows for sure? *shrugs*

Drunkenness: Nope, I'm not voting for Hillary or Trump because I'm not a US citizen. I have to deal with the goddamn Brexit instead… whoop-de-frakking-do. And yes, Butternut is the local meme machine, so expect a lot of those... I've been educating myself on memes lately. ^^". Lullaby… well I wouldn't call her the sanest cadet. Actually, I don't know who is the sanest. Maybe Smart Set? Or Paradise? You'll see once we get to the cadet-centered chapter that all of them are pretty weird in some way. And I need to write more Cinder stuff, especially stuff with her and Braeburn, because I don't give her enough attention despite her being a high-ranking supporting character. And yeah, I do read Piercing the Heavens… though I'm about twenty chapters behind and to be honest every time I go to look at it I just remember how much better it is than my story. And as of late I've been drifting away from M rated fics anyway. And my opinion on SoarBurn… I don't ship it, sorry. I've tried to, but I just don't like it like that. They work much better to me as a BROTP. And I mean a CLOSE BROTP! If this story was set in the Homestuck universe then Soarin and Braeburn would be moirails (which basically means "platonic soul mates"). However I don't think Braeburn is straight. I headcanon Braeburn as pansexual (attracted to all genders). As for Soarin… sorry, but I think he's pretty much just into mares. But I do headcanon the sexualities of many characters in MLP, and I could rattle on for a long time about it since I'm a sucker for representation.

MorgothII- Every time someone says that they've spent a long period of time reading this I just think "you poor thing, having to suffer through all of that." I have no idea when you'll see this reply, or even if you read my Author's Notes at all, but thank you ever so much for reading, my friend. ^u^ (P.S. I love your username).

Also, in this chapter there is a guest character named Action Hammer. In my head he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson (who has one of the most awesome voices in the universe).

---

Hi guys,

So as I write this it's five in the morning, having gone to sleep early it makes sense that I should get up early as well, right? Lullaby keeps glaring over at me for some reason and telling me to stop writing because the sound of my quill scratching is apparently annoying her. I personally think that she needs to learn to appreciate the things I do in the middle of the night, because if I'm being honest the sound of a quill scratching against paper is awesome!

Okay, I'm getting off-track. Firstly Rarity, I appreciate the election posters you sent me but I really don't want to use posters after what happened yesterday. Just believe me when I say that you do not want to know. I did hang a few above my bed though, and waking up to them was great! So thanks for that!

I don't have many doubts that I have this election in the bag but, just in case, I'm gonna try and get some more of the cadets on my side. It might be hard though because Spring Song could possibly have some of the others under her control with secret mind powers.

Thanks for all the support though. I'll keep you up to date.

Sincerely, Future Captain Rainbow Dash.

"Are you done yet?" Lullaby slurred, only her eyes and ears visible from beneath the covers. Rainbow Dash rolled her letter up and tucked it into her saddlebags as usual.

"Yeah, you can sleep now." Rainbow replied. Lullaby sighed in relief and closed her eyes, rolling over to face the dorm's wall. Rainbow picked a random Daring Do book from the bookshelf and hopped back onto the bed, not really caring which one she ended up reading since all of them were awesome.

She decided to just skim some pages to find her favorite scenes and simply read over them. Whenever she reread things, she sometimes just liked to skip to the best parts without having to go through the build-up to get there. It's not like she didn't know what had happened anyway, so she wasn't missing anything. However, she had only been reading for about three minutes before she was interrupted.

"Rainbow Dash, why aren't you going back to sleep?" she asked. "It's too early to read."

"Well I went to sleep really early. I think I've caught enough winks for one day." Lullaby didn't bother turning around, but raised her voice a little to get the point across that she was pretty frustrated right now.

"You may have gone to sleep early, but I was up late hanging out with Smart Set. Sugar Swoop was supposed to help me convince him to vote for you, but he got bored and skedaddled." She was clearly speaking through gritted teeth. Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't mind hanging with Smart Set…" she was surprised at how mad Lullaby sounded right now. The purple pony let out a sigh and shrugged her shoulders, making her bedsheets wrinkle a little.

"It's not that… it's just really hard to change his mind. I think I got him to consider voting for you, but he said some confusing stuff about wanting to help Spring Song out with her problems… I'm not entirely sure; he said it in the most baffling way possible. Like he was speaking in riddles or something…"

Rainbow made a 'pfft' noise and reclined back on her bed. "Why the heck would he want to help Spring Song with her problems?" she scoffed. Lullaby actually did roll over to look at Rainbow Dash this time, and Rainbow tried not to laugh at the purple pony's messy bed-hair.

"You mean just like I'm doing?" she scowled. Clearly Lullaby was cranky at this time of night. Rainbow nodded.

"Well yes… only I don't know how Smart Set's going about it. I highly doubt that Spring Song lets him come into her room at night and read her bedtime stories-"

"I have never done that!" Lullaby raised her voice a little more.

Their discussion was interrupted by some pounding on the wall beside Lullaby.

"Shut up in there! Some of us are trying to sleep, dumbasses!" Beau's high voice rang out. Rainbow was pretty sure she heard somepony in another room yell in agreement. Okay… maybe it was too early to be awake right now. She did love sleep, and a nap directly after waking up never hurt anypony, right?

"Okay, you win. Let's talk about this in the… later morning." Rainbow slipped under the covers this time, having slept all night on top of the bed with nothing to keep her warm. Lullaby sighed and turned over again.

"Thank you." She said before falling silent once again. Rainbow looked towards the window, where the first purple streaks of sunrise were creeping in through the cracks at the sides of the curtains, and shut her eyes, deciding to cherish the few moments of peace she had before-

She suddenly shot straight up in bed.

"OHMIGOSH IT'S SOARIN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!"

"GO TO SLEEP RAINBOW DASH!"

---

Braeburn was preparing breakfast for the cadets and Wonderbolts (a couple of whom were already snacking away). Soarin was among them, talking to Wave Chill and Blaze, and the two of them seemed to be congratulating him on something. That something was, of course, his birthday. Braeburn had already bought him something for the occasion of course, but now he had extra responsibilities stacked on his shoulders since Rainbow Dash had come to him first thing this morning (and by that I mean that Rainbow Dash was waiting for Braeburn as he came through the entrance doors) asking him to assist her in planning a surprise birthday for him.

She had given him two jobs, one of which was fairly simple (cooking all the food), and the other of which was slightly more difficult, and that was keeping Soarin away from the preparations. The problem here was that there was no way Braeburn would be able to cook as much food as Rainbow wanted by the time drills ended and she had to start decorating, so he planned to enlist Cinder to finish the baking while he took Soarin for a trip around Cloudsdale. However, first he'd probably have to wait for him to finish up his paperwork, since Silver Lining was yelling at him from the door that he was behind schedule.

He turned away from the counter for no longer than half a minute to take some muffins out of the oven. When he turned back to the counter, he almost dropped the oven tray from his mouth when he saw Fleetfoot peering over the counter at him.

"Hey Braeburn, I need ssome muffins! Sstat!" she propped her head up on her elbows. Braeburn chuckled at her behaviour and placed the tray on top of the counter.

"Alright, just be careful with 'em okay? They're pipin' hot." He warned the light blue Wonderbolt. Fleetfoot smacked her lips and glanced behind her.

"Thank you! Take ssome of these," she reached into her uniform pocket and pulled out a few bits, placing them on the counter as a tip, which Braeburn immediately thanked her for. Then Fleetfoot grabbed a few muffins and placed them on a plate. Just then, somepony Braeburn had never expected to see came in through the doors to the mess hall. Braeburn's jaw dropped as the stallion raised his head; he knew exactly who this was! The buzz cut mane, the large, powerful wings, the glossy, silver fur, the half a dozen golden chains hanging around his neck, the triangular anime-like glasses...

"Oh my Celestia, it's Action Hammer!" Wave Chill slammed his forehooves on the table and fanboyed as the famous actor strode into the mess hall. Blaze turned around, and her mouth formed an 'O' shape. It wasn't often a celebrity like Action Hammer walked into the same room you were having breakfast in. Action Hammer had been in many famous movies over the years, a few of which were among Soarin and Braeburn's favorites ever. The two of them had spent years watching him on a screen, but now the real deal was right in this room!

"So this is the Wonderbolts' mess hall," Action Hammer looked around the room, nodding in approval. "This place is sick! Where's my hoof bumper?"

Just then, a spindly pegasus stallion dashed in through the mess hall doors and skidded to a halt in front of Action Hammer, lifting up one of his forehooves. Action Hammer grinned and bumped his own forehoof against the other stallions, and then the spindly pegasus ran back out the doors.

'The guy has his own hoof bumping servant?' Braeburn thought to himself. 'He really is the most awesome stallion in Equestria'. Braeburn forgot about the cooking for a minute and rushed through the doors, trying not to sound too enthusiastic as he came to a stop in front of the celebrity.

"M-mister Hammer, it's such an honor!" he gushed. He quickly cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Ah love your hoof-bumper!"

Action Hammer slapped Braeburn on the back playfully… it hurt. "Thanks man," he flashed the earth pony a cocky smile. "Ya think that's cool, check out my beer-cooler-pony." He turned his head towards the door and whistled. A taller stallion trudged through the door with a beer cooler strapped to his back. Action Hammer signalled for him to crouch down and the tall stallion did as he was told. Action Hammer then flipped open the cooler and pulled out a couple of Coltweiser beers and passed one to Braeburn.

"Whoa, thanks," Braeburn knew it was just a beer, but dang it was given to him by Action Hammer! He could faint!

"Can I go to the bathroom?" the beer-cooler-guy asked. Action Hammer gestured to the door.

"You're excused." He gave the guy permission to leave. The stallion then took off, the beer cooler still on his back. Braeburn wondered if he ever took it off. Fleetfoot made her way over to Braeburn and took the beer from him.

"Aw, thankss for getting me thiss, Apple Cheekss." She gave him her signature flirty wink. Braeburn tried not to feel offended that she was now drinking his Action Hammer beer. The actor grinned down at Fleetfoot.

"So you're Fleetfoot right? You're the one my pals are always calling 'hot' and 'sexy'." He asked. Fleetfoot nodded her head.

"That'ss me. I'm sso psyched that I found you! You have sso many fans at the Academy, you wouldn't believe." She gushed, taking a swig of the beer she had taken from Braeburn. "I'm gonna go find Lightning and Fire Sstreak! Wait right here!" with that, she flapped her wings and whizzed out the room. Action Hammer glanced after her and chuckled, turning back to Braeburn.

"She's pretty damn beautiful. I might be falling in love." He smiled. Whoa, this guy was really smiley. Braeburn had no idea whether or not he was serious about the "falling for Fleetfoot" thing.

"Um, can we get autographs?" Wave Chill appeared next to Action Hammer, looking pretty starstruck. Blaze joined him a moment later and asked the same thing. The actor happily took out a pen and signed the collars of their uniforms. Braeburn removed his hat, figuring that if he couldn't get a beer off him, he could at least get a signature on his stetson.

---

"I can't believe Action Hammer is right there!" Rainbow looked at the actor. The cadets were in the mess hall after a long day of training. Spitfire had enlisted High Winds to assist her in teaching the cadets some of the traditional flight routines. It was probably the best drills session so far! It had gone by so fast though…

"I know right!" Sugar Swoop breathed from his seat next to Rainbow Dash, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"He's even more buff in person," Lullaby added, craning her neck to get a better view, and turning the slightest bit pink. Thankfully it was difficult to see through her dark purple fur. Dark fur was the best when it came to these kinds of situations!

Action Hammer glanced up from the apple tart he was eating. "I appreciate your admiration," he told them from his seat two seats away from Rainbow Dash. Yeah… as soon as she'd stepped into the mess hall after the second set of drills and saw that Action Hammer was sitting at a table in the centre of the room, she had charged at her current seat (which wasn't too close to make him uncomfortable but not too far away to make it look like Dash was intimidated) like a crazed bull.

"Hehe… thanks sir." Rainbow felt like taking off into the air and performing the fangirl dance to end all fangirl dances, but she knew that she would look like an absolute doofus if she did that.

"Hi Action Hammer," Fleetfoot flashed a grin at the silver stallion as she trotted past, balancing a plate of carrot sticks on her back and moving to sit with Silver Lining. Action Hammer stared after her with a stupid grin on his face, something that Lullaby quickly noticed.

"Hehe, got a thing for Fleetfoot, huh?" she smirked. Rainbow knew that Lullaby was a sucker for this kind of stuff. Action Hammer shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, I hear my bros talking about her all the time. I've wanted to meet her for a while to see what they were making such a big deal about… I can't say I'm disappointed." He ran a hoof across his buzz cut to make sure that it was still perfect. "Dang, I've gotta impress her somehow." He adjusted his anime glasses just enough so that the light shining in through the window reflected off them.

Hot damn this guy is awesome, Rainbow thought.

"Impress her?" Sugar Swoop thought for a second, "Well I think she likes strip clubs." He suggested. Lullaby slapped him on the shoulder (a habit that she seemed to be succumbing to more and more) and gave him a sharp look. Rainbow Dash didn't feel like pointing out that the peach stallion was almost certainly correct. Action Hammer seemed to be unaware of how promiscuous Fleetfoot was, and telling him that might alter his opinion of her a little. Action Hammer scoffed and looked at the younger pegasus male.

"Listen, l'il stallion; when I like a lady, I go all out with letting her know. So tell me- what should I do that would totally blow her mind. I'm a millionaire, so don't worry about money."

Don't worry about money.

Those words swirled around and repeated in Rainbow Dash's mind like a whisper from the Gods. This gave her a perfect, diabolical plan…

"I know what you could do!" Rainbow Dash sat up straight, loving the plan that was weaving itself together in her head like a tapestry depicting the glory she would shower herself in one the stepping stones over the river to success had been crossed and she was clutching victory to her bosom… Rainbow wasn't the best when it came to metaphors, and to be honest, after 'tapestry' she had just been thinking stupid, random stuff that didn't mean anything.

"You should throw her a surprise party!" Rainbow schemed, trying not to smile too much. She needed to keep her true intentions under the rug like the dust she always swept under her rug in her bedroom back home in Ponyville. Action Hammer raised a bushy eyebrow.

"Is it her birthday?" he asked. It seemed a little weird that he would choose to come to the academy on the exact same day as Fleetfoot's birthday. Rainbow needed to think of something else.

"No… but that's why it's a surprise party. She'll be so surprised because there is literally no reason for her to have a party at all!" surely he would buy that.

He did. "Okay, I can't argue with logic like that. Nice thinking there, Miss Dash." He patted her on the shoulder and Rainbow almost leapt out of her seat to do that fangirling thing she was considering doing earlier… yeah she still wasn't going to risk that unless he did something extreme like almost kill her while hugging her.

"So you're sure that will work?" Lullaby asked. "Wouldn't it be a lot simpler if you just asked her out directly? Personally I'd rather somepony simply invite me to dinner than go all-out with a party…"

"Well you're not Fleetfoot, Lullaby. Allow me to do the work here please." The last thing she needed was Lullaby changing Action Hammer's mind and ruining her plan.

"So a party..." Action Hammer leaned his head in one hoof and hummed in thought. "What kind of party would she like?"

Rainbow opened her mouth to answer, only to find that she had absolutely no idea how to. She would have to excuse herself for a while, so she slowly stood up from her seat.

"Can I just use the bathroom first? I'd happily answer but I can't hold this much longer." Yes, she knew that was too much information, but she didn't care! She just needed ten minutes to get her answer!

---

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Come in!" Soarin called from behind his desk, where he was making a tower out of pencils. The paperwork he was meant to be finishing was on the desk in front of him with only a few pages completed. Sometimes it was just so hard to focus on things, especially when those things were so painstakingly boring. Like, Soarin didn't even know what the words on the paper even meant half the time.

Rainbow Dash pushed open the door and stepped in, closing the door behind her, a clipboard held in her mouth. She made her way to Soarin's desk and placed the clipboard down on it, stretching over the desk to give Soarin a quick kiss. "Soarin, I need your help with something." She picked the clipboard up again. "And I need to borrow a pencil."

Soarin tried to stop her, but once Rainbow had plucked a pencil from the Leaning Tower of Pencil, it all came crashing down. Oh well, cleaning up that mess was going to be way more fun that this paperwork. Or maybe this was karma's crappy way of telling him that he should get on with the paperwork after all. Ugh, he needed to stop trying to analyze stuff so much.

"Um, okay," Soarin shook his head and put on his best professional face. "What do you need my help with?"

"Spitfire asked me to go around and update the Bolts' files. So I thought I'd start with you, seeing as you're the best." She flattered him. Soarin blinked a couple of times.

"Isn't it better to save the best for last?" he asked. At least, that's how he did things. He always saved the juiciest looking piece of pie for last whenever he ate his favorite food, so shouldn't the same apply to the Wonderbolts as well?

"Soarin, would you just do it?" there was no time to waste when it came to this plan, and Rainbow was determined to make it back to Action Hammer with his answer lickety-split.

"Fine, go ahead." Soarin leaned back in his seat and kicked his hind hooves up onto the desk. He was grateful that Rainbow Dash had come down to give him a break from the work that he wasn't doing.

"Alrighty then," Rainbow took the pencil between her teeth and aimed it at the clipboard. "Can I get your full name?"

"Soarin Gordon Skies."

"Gender?" Rainbow moved onto the next question.

Soarin hesitated at the obvious question, wondering if Rainbow was being silly on purpose. "I'm as male as I was the last time you saw me…" he glanced down at the purple tie he was wearing in place of his usual black one. Wave Chill had commented on how it clashed with the blue uniform horrendously, but Soarin didn't care. It was just clothing- they didn't even need to wear it in the first place so what the heck was he complaining about? The whole point of that ramble was that stallions could wear feminine colours as well!

"Okay… what's your favorite kind of entertainment?" Rainbow carried on with her questionnaire. That struck Soarin as an odd thing for Spitfire to print on a Wonderbolts file, but he wasn't about to argue with Captain Cranky.

"Sports…" he looked down at his tie again. "I can like purple and sports at the same time." He crossed his arms and pouted. He frigging loved purple!

"Favorite party snack?" Rainbow realised a little too late that she probably should have omitted the word 'party' from that question to erase any suspicion. She didn't want him to catch onto this.

"Hmm… pizza bites." Soarin decided, licking his lips at the thought of those yummy treats. "Hey Dashie, if you don't mind my asking, why does Spitfire want to-"

"Soarin, it's none of our business what she does with this information. I'm sure it'll all make sense in time," Rainbow looked down at her list for the next question.

"So what's your favorite flavor of cake frosting?"

---

"Are you sure this is right, Rainbow Dash?" Action Hammer asked, looking down at the list once Rainbow had returned to the mess hall. A few of the cadets had left by this point, but Lullaby and Sugar Swoop had still been there when Dash had returned, still talking to Action Hammer.

"Of course it's right." Rainbow nodded confidently. Action Hammer still didn't look convinced.

"Really? 'Cause I know Fleetfoot's an aerial flyer and all, but she still doesn't strike me as a pony who likes sports like buckball and hockey."

"Welp, she does! She got addicted to hoofball once she found out about the wing-back position." Rainbow thought of a lie. Action Hammer didn't question her any further than that. She glanced at her two fellow cadets. Sugar Swoop appeared just as confused as Action Hammer was about this, but by the look on Lullaby's face she might have gotten wind as to what was going on. She raised a suspicious eyebrow at Dash but the cyan mare chose to just ignore her. She would bribe Lullaby into helping her out later.

"So what I'm thinking is that we hire a butt-load of sports equipment and we turn the mess hall into a sports pony's utopia." She rubbed her hooves together like the villains in the movies did when they were coming up with a master plan. And by Jove was this plan masterful. She could throw a party for Soarin, and simultaneously hook Action Hammer up with Fleetfoot, and nopony would ever have to know! "I'm so feeling this idea. In fact! I feel like I deserve a HOOF BUMP for coming up with this plan!"

Action Hammer's hoof-bumping pony skidded through the mess hall doors, vaulted over one of the tables and landed right behind Rainbow Dash. Dash spun around in her seat and raised her hoof for a triumphant bump. The hoof-bumping stallion then zoomed back out the door. Everypony stared in awe for a minute before Action Hammer broke the silence by poking Rainbow's shoulder.

"Do not use my hoof-bumper." He warned her with fire in his eyes.

So. Freaking. Awesome.

Action Hammer ensured that everyone's attention was on their food again before speaking to Dash. "So you're sure without a doubt that this'll win me her heart?"

Rainbow got up and bravely slung a foreleg over the actor's broad shoulders. "Have some optimism, my buff buddy. If Hoofdini's actor friend didn't let him go forth with his plans, where would he be?"

Action Hammer paused for a second before giving a deadpan response. "Alive."

Rainbow's ears fell against the sides of her skull and she clicked her tongue, looking off into the distance with embarrassment. "In hindsight I should have thought of a better example than that." She admitted. Lullaby and Sugar Swoop nodded in agreement.

"Just leave it all to me. There's just one thing…" hopefully this would work. "I'm going to need something to pay for everything." Please work, please work, please work-

"Alright, I got somethin'." Action Hammer lowered his neck and shook off a couple of the large gold chains that he wore around it. "Take these and use as much money as you want."

Rainbow tried not to make the bits glowing in her eyes too obvious as she put the chains on around her own neck. "You can count on me, Action Hammer." She beamed, raising her forehoof to her forehead in a salute.

---

Once the money had been spent and the mess hall tables had been stacked against the wall to make some extra space, Rainbow began organizing the layout of the party.

"WAIT!" Rainbow Dash skidded past one of the pegasi stacking the mess hall tables against the walls and hurried over to the training grounds doors, to the left side of which an archery stand was being set up. "Don't put that there!" she made the mare arranging the stand freeze with terror as she practically shoved her face into her own. "Put it in the middle of the opposite wall. That way if somepony's coming through the door they won't accidentally get shot in the eye. The mare seemed to think that was a good reason and she hurriedly starting moving the parts across the room.

"Rainbow Dash!"

Dash jumped and whipped around to the mess hall doors, a curse word flashing in her mind as Spitfire came in, glancing around the room in utter confusion at what the heck she was witnessing. "Are you throwing a party in here?" oh boy, she was using her angry voice. Never a good thing to be hearing… hence why it was called an angry voice…

"No… no I'm not." Rainbow lied. She did it pretty convincingly, but Spitfire seemed to have some kind of powerful lie detector… or she could see the balloons and streamers flying around the room… or Cinder yelling about missing cake frosting in the kitchen… or the banner that- okay it was obvious that this was a party to everypony who had eyes!

"Dash, you can't throw a party, and especially not without my permission." She scolded the blue pegasus. She looked about ready to break into one of her stern lectures when Rainbow interrupted. Quick, think of something in a dash, Rainbow.

"Hey hey hey, wait! I didn't get your permission because…" Rainbow practically got smashed in the face with a light bulb. "B-because it's your party, Captain!"

Please work, please work, please work-

"It is?" Spitfire raised an eyebrow, looking a little shocked, and slightly skeptical, at this "revelation". Okay, so maybe the lie detector was a little bit rusty?

Dash nodded quickly. "Y-yeah! It was! Way to ruin the surprise." She realised that she probably shouldn't take such a harsh tone with a pony who could kick her out of the Academy. Spitfire took a few steps forward, gazing at Rainbow Dash in disbelief.

"You really know that it was exactly seven years ago today that I performed in my first airshow?" she asked. Her eyes, though still stern, were somehow still practically sparkling with joy, and frankly it was scaring Dash out of her mind…

There was a short stretch of silence before Rainbow decided to just go along with it. Anything to keep this party going.

"Heck yeah I do!" she agreed. Fate really seemed to want her to throw this party for Soarin; why else would also be the day of an anniversary of Spitfire's. "I know all about you guys. I aced the history of the Wonderbolts test after all. I could totally pass a test about all of you current Wonderbolts." She boasted. It was probably true though. It felt refreshing to mix a little bit of the truth amongst all of the lies. "And there was no way that I was gonna allow one of the best Wonderbolts in history to let this occasion pass by without celebrating it." That's it Dash, keep inching towards her good side.

If you asked Rainbow Dash, she would say that she was getting much better at lying… she just hoped that Applejack would never find out about today, because if that happened then she would most likely never hear the end of it. It was the perfect guilt tripping fuel…

"Damnit Dash, I don't really like parties…" Spitfire sounded a little uncertain. "Couldn't you have just taken me, Surprise, Soarin and a couple of other 'Bolts to a bar or something. It's got everything you need for a celebration. Drinks, ponies, drinks and drinks."

Rainbow awkwardly looked around. Alcohol problem much?

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, while everypony's partying you can just come in subtly. We won't yell surprise or anything if it'll make you feel more comfortable." Please work-

"That would be... pretty good actually…" Spitfire looked a little embarrassed that she was excited about something. Then again, it was a little strange that a famous celebrity had a fear of parties and crowds. Dash remembered how she had stuck with Braeburn throughout Surprise's party, which was pretty nice of the guy. It kinda reminded her of Fluttershy a little bit. The cyan mare almost laughed out loud at the thought of the Wonderbolt captain and her best friend being so similar when it came to receiving attention.

"One thing," Rainbow lowered her voice a little, partly because she wanted it to seem like she didn't want anypony overhearing what they were saying and also partly because she didn't want any of the party planners to be confused if they heard her talking about a party for a Spitfire when they'd been told it was for Soarin, "you need to keep this to yourself. Don't tell anypony that you know about this, and be sure to act surprised when you get here later." It felt strange and yet fulfilling to tell Spitfire what to do for a change instead of the other way round.

"Understood cadet, now I have work to do." Spitfire gave Rainbow an appreciative nod before turning tail and heading back towards the door. "Oh good lord I'm having a surprise party…" she muttered to herself, sounding just the slightest bit giddy as she did so. Rainbow chuckled and nodded, finding her behavior a little adorable in truth...

"Yep… a party for you…" she murmured, "...and Fleetfoot…" she grit her teeth with worry, "… and Soarin…" she let her wings droop to her sides and stared down at the ground. "I should have just baked him a pie." She sighed, her ears lying flat against her head.

---

Braeburn had been told to retrieve Soarin from his office and bring him to the mess hall for his surprise party. This was proving to be an exhausting undertaking.

"Soarin, Ah'm not tellin' you what Ah got you. That completely ruins the purpose of a surprise." Braeburn sighed as he led Soarin towards the mess hall. Rainbow Dash had spent the entire day planning, and Braeburn had been keeping Soarin out of the loop, which was a lot easier than he had previously anticipated since he seemed keen to actually get his work done today. This was a rarity when it came to Soarin, and Braeburn considered it a blessing or a miracle that his pegasus friend chose today of all days to be dedicated to his job. He could only imagine how surprised Spitfire would be once Soarin showed her his completed paperwork.

"I'm sure it's not that good Braeburn, just spoil it for me." Soarin tried to convince his best friend. Braeburn rolled his eyes and shoved the blue stallion away.

"Ah'll try not to take that as an insult." He mumbled. "Anyway, enough about the gift from me; what kinda stuff did your family send ya?" he asked. Soarin had a pretty busy family so it was rare that they got to meet up on his birthday, but Soarin had already arranged a date for them to meet in a few days in Fillydelphia.

"Well, they got me this awesome Little Dragons poster." Soarin replied. Little Dragons was one of Soarin's favorite movies. Braeburn had once allowed Soarin to force him to watch it with him back when they were in high school. To be frank, Braeburn kinda hated the movie. It was annoying and repetitive and he couldn't for the life of him remember what the plot of the film even was (or if it even had one at all). The main character was an asshole and the titular Little Dragon was hideous and irritating. How Soarin could happily sit and watch that mess of a movie multiple times mystified Braeburn… then again there were a lot of thing about Soarin that baffled the earth pony.

Braeburn just nodded along as Soarin continued. "It's so cool! When I go see my family in a couple of days I'm totally gonna find that movie and watch it again; that scene with the bottle of apple juice in the fridge still cracks me up!" He gushed.

Unfortunately, Braeburn remembered that scene. "Soarin no, do not remind me of that. Keep in mind that Ah sell apples for a living, and that includes apple juice. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to even consider making any juice after watching that movie with you?" he felt a little nauseous at the thought. Great, he was probably going to regret having this conversation later when he was thirsty.

"Braeburn, are you scared?" Soarin wiggled his eyebrows to tease his friend. To Braeburn, this was no laughing matter."

"Scared that you, or somepony you somehow hired, has peed in my apple juice. Yes, Ah am!"

"While we're on the subject of that scene," Soarin stopped walking and raised a forehoof. "Don't you think it was weird that with all of his powers, the dragon couldn't just reseal the bottle of juice? I know it's just a nit-pick but it really bothers me that he just left the bottle open- seems a little suspicious." He mused.

"Ah really don't care…" Braeburn sighed; however something did come to mind. "However, why did the fat colt who drank it know what pee tasted like? I mean, it was hardly in his mouth but he reacted immediately like, "ACK IT'S PEE! HOW DO AH KNOW THAT?!"

"The Dragon had been peeing into his juice every day for like, two weeks." Soarin replied. Braeburn rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Okay fine, that's fair enough. Dang, that dragon was a cruel one. Also, is it only me who thinks that the main colt has a really kickable face?" Braeburn knew that they were going off the rails on another tangent train so he changed the subject. "Suddenly Ah'm not interested in that at all." He deadpanned.

"Let's just get to the mess hall for some food," Soarin grinned, smacking his lips at the thought of the large selection of food he had to choose from. Since he hadn't really left his office all day except to go to the bathroom, he reckoned that the food would taste at least twice as delicious as it usually did.

They walked the rest of the way to the mess hall in silence, and Soarin couldn't help but notice how desolate the academy was this evening. Normally he would walk past one or two of the cadets or he could hear the sounds of chatter from somewhere. But now it was quiet… eerily quiet. Soarin felt like he was in a horror flick and while he had been working, somepony had been picking off the rest of the pegasi without him knowing.

"You okay?" Soarin flinched and yelped as Braeburn spoke up from his side. For a moment he had forgotten that his best friend was there. He tried to save face by smiling and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Y-yep, everything is totally fine, Brae." He insisted, stepping through the doors to the mess hall.

"SURPRISE!"

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Soarin noticed that the ponies who had almost frightened him out of his skin were just most of the other Wonderbolts and cadets, standing around a room filled with decorations and food and games and presents and there were banners reading 'congratulations' on them and he was still screaming- "EEEEEEYYYyyy everypony!" he tried his best to recover from his admittedly feminine sounding freak out. One does not simply leap out and surprise a pony whom not a minute ago had just been wondering if all of his friends had been mercilessly ripped to shreds by a serial killer… or Feather Duster. You couldn't blame him for thinking that, since Feather Duster was one of the only ponies not present in the mess hall.

"Congratulations, Soarin!" Rainbow cheered, and all the other ponies repeated after her, some of them stomping their hooves on the ground in applause. After the applause had died down, everypony went about trying out the games and snacking on the food. Wave Chill and Silver Lining immediately went over to wish Soarin a happy birthday personally while Action Hammer made his way over to Rainbow Dash, looking thoroughly perplexed.

"Hold on a minute Rainbow Dash," he placed a heavy hoof on her shoulder and nodded over at Soarin. "That's not Fleetfoot," he narrowed his eyes, "so why did everypony yell surprise?"

Rainbow Dash felt as if Celestia's holy rays were shining down on her as she managed to say "For practice!" without even stuttering. This must be her lucky day! Action Hammer seemed to buy it, though he gave Rainbow a final glance as he trotted away, indicating that she may have to be more careful in the future if she didn't want one of the most awesome celebrities ever on her bad side.

Rainbow didn't have any time to calm down as Soarin came up and hugged her, resting his chin on her head and grinning like an absolute fool. "Dashie, I can't believe it! You guys seriously planned a party for me?!" he sounded like a kid at… well, a birthday party.

"Uh-huh," Rainbow replied, "all for you, just you, nopony else except you." Okay maybe she should dial it down just a little bit. She was beginning to get a little worried about how the rest of the night would go. She just needed to… keep Soarin away from Action Hammer and Fleetfoot. That wouldn't be so hard right? She would have gotten Lullaby to help her out if not for the fact that the purple mare was nowhere to be seen. And much to her surprise neither was, well, Surprise. She would have expected the party pegasus to be all over this.

Soarin placed his hooves on Rainbow's shoulders and pecked her on the lips, knowing that she wouldn't want anything more in the middle of a crowd. "Damn, this is just so cool! I mean, you've got a ping pong table, a basketball hoop…" Soarin's eyes grew to the size of an entire galaxy when he set eyes on his guest. "Is that Action Hammer?!" his voice went high and his jaw dropped. Rainbow nodded, breaking into another sweat. "Y-y-you got Action Ham-m-mer to come to m-my party?!" his voice quivered and it looked like he was going to burst into tears of happiness.

"Yep, I got him just for you, nopony else except you…" She. Had. To. Stop!

At that moment, Fleetfoot walked into the mess hall, looking naturally perplexed as to why there was a party going on. She didn't have enough time to wonder why she hadn't been invited because as she stepped through the doors, Action Hammer immediately took action (ya know, like a pun) and yelled-

"SURPRISE!" he boomed, throwing some streamers at Fleetfoot. Fleetfoot was still more confused than excited since Action Hammer was the only one to shout surprise. Good grief, how was Rainbow going to explain this one to the celebrity.

Soarin was the first one to ask a question. "Uh… why did Action Hammer yell surprise at Fleetfoot? Do we share the same birthday and I didn't know about it?" he wondered, briefly entertaining the thought in his mind. If he and Fleetfoot were born on the same day then this party would be all kinds of weird. A swing-ball stand next to some massage tables, probably. That would probably be a disaster though since sweat and sauna's were exactly a thing that… okay maybe it did make sense.

"That's a good question," Rainbow patted Soarin on the back, "He's… probably just surprised to see her at your party. I mean, she… she's really mad at you!" okay maybe that lie had gone a little too far… or had it?

"She is?" Soarin's ears drooped and he looked positively heartbroken.

It had.

"Er… yeah! She just… didn't like that you…" think of something Soarin would do, think of something Soarin would do… "… took some pie." It was the most obvious suggestion. Much to her surprise though, he actually believed her!"

"Oh… dang, I didn't realise she'd be mad at me. It was just lying around on a table; if I'd known it was hers I wouldn't have eaten it…" he pouted. Rainbow needed to think of a way to send Soarin away so she could monitor Action Hammer to make sure he didn't fudge up the plan somehow.

"Well ya know Fleetfoot; she'll get over this soon." She used her most optimistic voice. Soarin slowly nodded his head, but he still didn't look too pleased with himself. The last thing Rainbow Dash needed was for Soarin to get sad on his birthday. She would be the worst marefriend in history if she allowed that to happen. "Hey, Cinder baked the most delicious cupcakes over there! You have to try them!" she changed the subject. Soarin's ears perked right up at that and he gave Rainbow Dash another peck on the cheek before making a bee-line for the snack table (which smelled so good! If she hadn't been preoccupied with Soarin, Action Hammer and Fleetfoot she would be over there right now trying some of those tasty looking carrot cakes). Rainbow neared the mess hall doors, to the side of which Fleetfoot and Action Hammer were talking. She managed to catch some of their conversation, and by the sounds of it, the plan was going pretty well. Dash loved that she was apparently making more than one pony happy tonight. She just needed to keep it that way…

"Sso, you planned thiss for me?" Fleetfoot beamed up at Action Hammer with wide eyes. "Whoa, I really didn't ssee thiss coming at all." She seemed surprised that she had successfully been kept out of the loop. "Why did you go to all thiss trouble for ssomething like thiss, Mr. Hammer?" Fleetfoot was a curious pony, so it was natural that she would ask questions.

"Er…" Action Hammer's blush was clear, even though his face remained mostly stoic and his eyes were hidden behind those (still awesome) anime shades, "b-because I happened to notice that you were the most gorgeous sports lover I've ever set eyes on." He said as smoothly as he could. Dash had to hold back from rushing in and telling him that his line sucked.

"Huh… I, uh, I kinda hate sports." Fleetfoot looked confused, looking around at all of the sports themed games and looking a little intimidated. Rainbow Dash did rush in that time to save Action hammer from this sticky situation.

"She's kidding!" she leaned against Action Hammer's side for support as she nearly tripped and fell. "Hey Fleetfoot, I got these!" Rainbow turned around and practically snatched a plate of pizza bites off of Free Fall's back. She then held them out to Fleetfoot.

"Oh yeah, these are your favorites apparently." Action Hammer flashed another grin in the direction of the white-maned Wonderbolt. Fleetfoot and Rainbow Dash both grabbed one, Rainbow chowing down on her pizza bite as fast as she could because she was beginning to run through all the things that could go wrong in her head. However, this specific one didn't cross her mind even once…

"Wait… I can tasste…" Fleetfoot turned a little pale as she swallowed. "Were there peppers on those?" she asked, her eyes wide with… terror?

"Um… I think so." Rainbow nodded, looking over the rest of the tray of pizza bites. Fleetfoot started to head out the door. She looked back through apologetically as sweat began to drip down her face.

"I'm ssorry," she gulped, "I'll be back ssoon! I'm just a little allergic to peppers." She managed to give the two other pegasi a final smile before galloping down the hallway as fast as her well-toned legs could carry her. Action Hammer and Rainbow Dash stood there for a few silent, lengthy seconds with the plate of pizza bites sitting between them. While they were staring at the door, Bumble came along, picked them up and took them away, and they didn't even bat an eye. Finally, Action Hammer looked down at Rainbow Dash through his shades, his mouth curling into a line that made Dash certain that he was suspicious of her now.

"I thought you said that pizza bites were her favorite snack?" he asked. Rainbow thought on the spot once again.

"We must have bought the wrong kind of peppers?" she suggested. Action Hammer took another step towards her, his hulking build making him look ten times more threatening than he needed to be as he loomed over Rainbow Dash like a building loomed over an apple tree.

"And why was I the only one who yelled surprise for Fleetfoot?" he asked another question. Anymore and Rainbow Dash was certain that she'd lose control of her bladder. She would choose another bee-covered-staring-contest with Applejack over being in this position. Seriously, bring on the bees!

"Er, we didn't… get enough practise." Rainbow said evenly. "Seriously, you would not believe how slow everything goes around here." She hated how true that last statement was. Really, the pace just refused to pick up around here for some reason.

---

For the next hour or so there was nothing but smooth sailing... well, for everypony but Rainbow Dash who was working herself ragged to make sure that Soarin stayed as far away as possible from Fleetfoot and Action Hammer and vice versa. It seemed that every two minutes she was rushing over to one of them to steer them in a different direction or distract them to ensure that the plan didn't fall flat on its face. She managed to take some sips of soda between that time, but she couldn't actually enjoy anything that was going on because she was getting so stressed out- ooh crap on a cracker, Action Hammer was less that ten feet away from Soarin! Time to do something! Rainbow shoved Tempest out of the way and leapt for the ping pong table, clinging to it tightly with both hooves and fixing her eyes on her celebrity guest.

"Yo! Action Hammer!" Rainbow waved to the pegasus stallion from the ping pong table. "Wanna play a game!" she picked up a ping pong paddle in her teeth and smiled as wide as she could. Action Hammer made his way over, though he kept an eye trained on the other side of the room.

"Rainbow Dash, I'm a little concerned. Fleetfoot really doesn't seem like the kind of pony who likes sports." His ears drooped as the two of them looked over to the dodgeball cage, where Fleetfoot had curled up into a fetal position while dodgeballs attacked her from all sides. Rainbow actually felt sorry for the poor mare. Of course, she needed to find a way to avoid another uncomfortable situation.

"Hey, it doesn't look so bad- oh the cake!" Rainbow felt like kissing Cinder as she walked out of the kitchen, pushing Soarin's birthday cake out to the snack table in a wagon. It was kinda adorable. Sugar Swoop and Ray helped her lift it onto the snack table and Dash quickly whizzed over to make sure everything was okay.

Much to her horror, the words "Congrats Fleetfoot" was etched onto the cake in dark blue frosting. Her pupils shrank and her mouth dropped open. Action Hammer walked up to her while she was in her state of paralysis, and looked down approvingly at the cake.

"Oh yeah, you forgot to tell the little blue pony to put anything on the cake, so I had her write that on it," he revealed. By this point Rainbow was certain that a migraine was coming on any second now.

"That's perfect!" Rainbow chirped. She had to get rid of him so she could correct this situation somehow. "Fleetfoot's done with dodgeball!" she noticed, and Action Hammer flashed her another grin before heading over towards the blue Wonderbolt to show her some more of his charm. Rainbow was about to destroy the evidence when Soarin suddenly bounded up to stand to her list.

"Blueberry frosting?! Dash, you're the best!" he licked his lips. Rainbow decided to throw whatever tactics she had been forming in the trash and just scooped up a bunch of frosting with her hoof (specifically the part with Fleetfoot's name written on it) and smeared it all over Soarin's muzzle.

"Pretty good right?!" she smiled, aware of the fuzzy feeling in her brain that couldn't be anything else other than her mind warning her of her continuous slippage of sanity. Initially, Soarin was a little startled by the sudden explosion of blueberry in his mouth, but after half a second he realized that there was no reason to complain about this situation; I mean, it was cake!

"Mmm, it is!" Soarin nodded, savoring the flavor before gulping it down. Blueberry was just the best! Rainbow almost had another heart attack when she spotted a newcomer entering the room.

"Here I am," Spitfire strode in, looking uncharacteristically pleased at the state of the room. It appeared that she was wearing a new uniform with a dark purple tie. "Just walkin' into the mess hall in my freshly ironed get-up." She leaned against the wall beside the door. Rainbow trotted briskly over to her.

"Surprise!" she cheered, quietly enough that nobody got confused but loud enough to make it seem sincere.

Spitfire's ears perked up. "Hey Dash! Thanks for that; getting everyone to keep the attention off me. It's a huge relief."

Oh yeah! Rainbow had totally forgotten about Spitfire's dislike of crowds. It's a good thing she was the only one in on Spitfire's party. The golden mare's orange eyes strayed to the table at the far left corner of the room, where a bunch of presents were stacked. Rainbow gulped, realizing that she had forgotten something. She, Action Hammer and even Lullaby had got presents for Fleetfoot, and practically everyone had gotten a gift for Soarin, but Dash had totally forgotten about the captain.

"Hey, I've had a rough day with all my paperwork. D'ya mind if I open just one now and save the rest for later?" she sounded pretty nervous. Dash was pretty confused for a while; the captain seemed to be very comfortable performing in air shows, but something simple like a party was enough to scare her. It almost seemed like Spitz was against anything remotely relaxing. Parties were the best! Yes, she was stalling by letting her train of thought run wild. Okay, she'd just have to roll with it.

"Sure, go ahead." Her voice as beginning to shake with the amount of things she had to be observing. Soarin was cutting off a huge slice of cake, and a second one for Cinder, who had finally finished with all the food. She briefly paused to be charmed at how sweet Soarin was before remembering that she needed to check up on Action Hammer, who was holding an ice pack to Fleetfoot's forehead. Fleetfoot was trying to shield her face… oh God had she been hurt so bad that she was crying?! Okay, she needed to hide from Action Hammer once all of this was done. Ugh! But then she couldn't make sure that Soarin and Spitfire didn't start getting suspicious! Oh, what she wouldn't give to do what she used to do in school whenever she'd had enough of math- ask to go to the bathroom and not return to the classroom.

"Wow…" Rainbow was alerted to Spitfire's slightly bewildered tone. She looked over at the golden mare to see that she was holding up a pretty expensive looking tuxedo. Rainbow cringed and clenched her jaw. She was hoping that she'd picked one of Fleetfoot's, or at least that someone had gotten Soarin something less obviously masculine. Spitfire looked a tad skeptical.

"Um… well…" think of something, Dash… "It's not something I'd choose for myself… but what do I know about fashion?" she shrugged. Rainbow's pupils shrank. Oh thank Celestia that the captain was a behind-the-times shut-in. Praise the sun! "I'm just gonna head to the bath- ya know what, you don't need to know." Spitfire shrugged and gave Dash a small smile before leaving the mess hall with the tux flung over her back. "Huh… who turned out the lights?" she muttered as she wandered outside, where the lights were flickering off and back on.

Okay, so for the time being there was one less pony to observe. Now where was Soarin…?

---

Rainbow continued her routine of observing the two blue Wonderbolts and Action Hammer. Thankfully, for about twenty minutes, Action Hammer and Fleetfoot stayed by the snack table, Fleetfoot holding the ice pack to her head and looking overall droopy, with Action Hammer sitting beside her and offering words of comfort. So the plan seemed to be working pretty well. Action Hammer was spending some time with Fleetfoot and Soarin was having a great time at his party. Rainbow figured that she'd celebrate by getting one of those carrot cakes she was admiring earlier.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash," Soarin trotted up to Rainbow Dash and flung a hoof around her shoulders while wearing his usual dorky smile. "Thanks for planning this… I know I've probably already said that, but I just can't stress enough how much I appreciate this."

Rainbow chuckled and flipped her mane, making a 'psh' noise in the process. "Meh, it was nothin'. Like I wasn't gonna go all out and throw a party for you on your birthday." The idea that she wouldn't was kinda dumb… man, she hoped that Pinkie Pie would be proud of her if she were here.

"Oh? It's your birthday?" Rainbow felt her heart threaten to stop beating as the deep, insanely awesome voice of Action Hammer came from her left side. "Well happy birthday there dude," he reached over and slapped Soarin hard on the back. The pale blue stallion had practically the entirety of his breath knocked out of him, but that didn't prevent him from smiling like a gigantic loon at the idea of having the red hoof print of one of his favorite actors painfully emblazoned on his back for the rest of his days.

"Thank you Mister Action Hammer, sir," he beamed up at the celebrity with shining eyes, which were reflected right back at him in the glass of Action Hammer's anime shades.

Rainbow needed to get these two away from each other before Action Hammer began to clue in on what was going on. "Okay, well it's been nice seeing ya- hey Soarin, there's a foosball table over there and I'm sure I can get Butternut and Beau to stop-"

"Hey how much did my marefriend pay you to come to my party?"

Dash's heart stopped, the world turned upside down, the future looked grim, the crops were dying, the sky was falling, the ground was cracking, the walls were shaking, the sun was exploding the lakes were drying up and Dash wished that her mind would cool it with these stupid apocalyptic scenarios!

"Seriously, Action Hammer, I've been such a huge fan of yours ever since I first watched the Powerpoof Ponies! I spent like three years screaming in a closet to try and get my voice to be as deep and cool as yours but ya know… that didn't work." Soarin frowned at his rather high voice.

"Thank you very much," Action Hammer looked sternly… at something. Rainbow couldn't tell thanks to those damned sunglasses. "Your party is awesome by the way- your marefriend must care about you a lot if she'd go to all of this trouble to make sure that you have a good time."

…what?

Soarin flashed Rainbow Dash a bright smile. Dash would have smiled back if she wasn't so utterly confused about what was going on. She was sure that the look on her face (O-shaped mouth and squinting eyes) looked completely stupid but at the moment she was more worried about whether or not Action hammer was leading her into some kind of trap. He'd wait for her to get back into her comfort zone before dropping the bomb that she had fibbed and told Action Hammer that the party was for Fleetfoot.

"I know," the Wonderbolt stallion reached over and nuzzled Rainbow's cheek. She was too nervous to even blush, "I totally didn't see this coming. I guess good things do happen when you knuckle down and get your paperwork done."

Action Hammer, of course, had no idea about Soarin's dislike of paperwork but he smiled and nodded anyway. "Now I wanna have a talk alone with Miss Dash," he told the other stallion. Soarin shrugged and began trotting away.

"That's fine. I'm gonna try pestering Braeburn about that gift he got me again," Soarin chuckled and quickened his pace, eager to annoy his best friend.

Oh boy. Rainbow Dash was trying her best to prepare herself for the onslaught of yelling and degradation that was about to be thrown in her face by the celebrity in front of her. Well… it wasn't like it would be the first time a celebrity had yelled at her. Spitfire, Silver Lining and the other Wonderbolts who were willing to shout at the cadets were paid to do that… but Rainbow Dash didn't like to think about the time that she annoyed Samule L. Jackass while stalking- I mean- following him to try and get his autograph. That did not turn out pretty… well, that wasn't the first time she had gotten a restraining order either...

"I'm talking to you, Rainbow Dash."

Oh crap! "Sorry, I just got lost in thought… it happens," Dash glanced upwards in annoyance. "So… just get it over with. Call me out. Expose me." She sighed, allowing her ears to droop as she gave in. The gig was up.

She was surprised to hear Action Hammer… laughing? She looked up with a bewildered look on her face. This was…the exact opposite of what she had been expecting. "You knew that the party was for Soarin and not for Fleetfoot?"

"Yep. I'm not an idiot, Dash. I had you figured out right from the start when everyone yelled surprise at him." he confessed.

"Wh-why didn't you yell at me back then?!" Sure, she would have hated it but it would have torn the bandage of quickly. Action Hammer smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"I wanted to see how far you'd go to try and cover your tracks." he adjusted his shades a little bit. Rainbow was a little mad that he had piled all of that stress onto her shoulders for no reason at all. Seriously, she could have yelled at him at this point! But she had other questions to ask right now.

"And you… you aren't mad that I lied?" she asked. Action Hammer shook his head- his buzz cut mane barely swaying a millimetre.

"Why should I be?" he asked. "…okay, maybe I'm a little mad. I mean, you could have just asked if I could show up at your coltfriend's party… I totally guessed that he was your coltfriend back there; wasn't sure whether or not you actually were. I'm glad I was right though otherwise I would have sounded like a complete idiot." He chuckled. Okay, so even Action Hammer could go off-topic. That was strangely comforting to Rainbow Dash.

"But you didn't. You tried to handle two parties at once to make multiple ponies happy; it's hard to be mad at that." Action Hammer explained. Rainbow still wasn't convinced.

"Wasn't that a little selfish of me though? I mean, yeah I wanted to help you out as well- I was all over you asking Fleetfoot out. But in case you forgot, I pretty much conned you! You paid for all of this with your money. I don't know about you, but where I come from, that's a really stupid thing to do… I just hoped that you wouldn't find out about it. Action Hammer placed a heavy hoof on Rainbow's shoulder.

"I'm a millionaire, Dash! Sparing some money for a party isn't gonna make me go bankrupt; and yeah, Rainbow, I'm not gonna lie to you. What you did was wrong; you totally suck for lying. But I know that you had good intentions. You wanted your coltfriend to have a fun birthday, and you wanted to help me out with Fleetfoot. You tried making more than one pony happy and maybe you didn't think through your plan well enough. But hey, at least you know that you were wrong."

Rainbow nodded.

"Well then what more do you need? You've learned your lesson." Action Hammer stood up straight.

"Be upfront about the things that you want. You might be afraid to hear something you don't like, but it's better than lying to get your way?" Rainbow guessed. She honestly hadn't considered that she would need to learn a lesson from this experience, but there ya go. Life had a weird habit of throwing morals at her when she least expected them. Such was the life of an Element of Harmony.

"Perfect," Action Hammer smiled so that he showed off his shiny white teeth. Even this dude's teeth were badass. "Now if you're still up for it, why don't ya go and play foosball with the birthday boy?" he glanced over to where Fleetfoot sat at the end of the snack table with a black eye. That looked pretty darn painful. "I'm gonna go and ask Fleetfoot if she wants to go for a walk. Ya know, to get away from the sports stuff." He winked at Dash and trotted away.

Rainbow watched as Action Hammer spoke to Fleetfoot, who seemed a little embarrassed about her injury. Fleetfoot shielded her face from the actor, not wanting anypony to look at the purple swelling around her eye. She managed to shyly look up at him as he lent her some comforting words, earning a light blush from the senior Wonderbolt. And Rainbow Dash smiled as the two of them left the party together into the night.

Maybe her plan, while not being entirely benevolent, had succeeded after all. Everypony seemed happy anyway. But Action Hammer was right about one thing: foosball sounded like a great idea.

"WE NEED SUGAR!"

Rainbow and the rest of the ponies in attendance to Soarin's party went completely silent and glanced towards the mess hall doors as Feather Duster burst through them with Misty Fly and Lullaby (looking disheveled) behind her, dragging Surprise along the ground. The white Wonderbolt seemed to be tied up with what appeared to be curtain ropes. Everypony just stared in dubiety as Lullaby and Misty struggled to hold Surprise still while Feather Duster waved her arms around to try and get everypony to take her seriously.

"NOW!"

To Be Explained...

---

Endnote: So... while you were reading that, you may have at some point thought "Well that was boring and rushed." And you'd be right. This was BOR-ING! Or at least it was to me, because I think my writing might actually be getting worse. I don't even know anymore guys, I'm not feeling very well right now and my head's kinda messed up. Like I said in the author's note, I've been dealing with a lot of personal stuff, and it's making it hard for me to do stuff. Writing is like, the only way I can free myself from... well, myself. But even then I'm having a lot of trouble writing. Like, I'll type something that seems good at the time, then I'll read over it and decide that I was stupid for putting it in and get rid of it. This insecurity of mine has made me replace, remove or add new scenes, and at one point I removed an entire chapter from my plan because it seemed too stupid. And still, I've just finished proofreading this chapter as of typing this endnote and I continue to feel that this is a steaming pile of crap. I feel like this is something akin to my writing in chapters 1-14 (although I have rewritten chapter one to remove grammar and spelling mistakes). Reading the first few chapters after reading something like, chapter 29 or 35, you know that back then there was something wrong with me mentally. I was not healthy when I started writing Dashing and Soaring. But as this story got longer, I got better and my head cleared, allowing me to write better quality work. Anyway, sorry I ranted at you, but the whole point of this was to make it clear to you that I'm constanly trying my best to get new chapters released.

Hopefully I'll get the next one done before the vacation I'm taking with my family from October 21st-28th, but I'm not making any promises. I'm not gonna say my usual "it'll be out soon" thing because it's pointless. But just remember that I haven't given up. ^u^