1. Smile, Smile, Smile

QUIRKISTAN, THE SEVEN DESERTS

The throne room of the palace of Quirkistan had wide windows that overlooked the kingdom's vast golden dunes, emerald trees, topaz sky, and expertly constructed houses. It was upon this vista that Mozenrath looked, now dressed in his usual blue clothing rather than any themed ensemble.

"Did you ever hear about the powers of the king of Quirkistan?" he asked Jafar, who stood some way behind him, surveying the same view.

"I have traveled to this land many times," Jafar answered. "Whosoever holds the throne of Quirkistan has sway over the physical nation itself based on his mood."

"And right now, I'm pretty happy," said Mozenrath. His brow furrowed. "Too happy. This kingdom needs…anger. This kingdom needs what I feel whenever Aladdin bests me at a scheme."

Gray clouds moved in over the formerly pristine sky, and thunder rumbled before great forks of lightning crashed downward, unaccompanied by rain.

"What I feel…when I think of my father."

The green leaves curled up into brown husks and dropped off all the trees.

"What I felt when Destane never gave me my due! What I felt when Khartoum betrayed me! WHAT I FELT WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT MY BROTHER HAD A GENIE DROPPED ONTO HIM OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE I HAD TO WORK FOR THE POWER I HAVE!"

A chilling wind blasted through the dark air. Great cracks appeared in the earth, and from them, columns of fire burst toward the sky, lighting up the darkened land. Screams of terror could be heard from the village outside.

"That's more like it," Mozenrath growled.

"Fine work indeed," Jafar complimented, stepping closer to Mozenrath to admire the wasteland outside the window. His right hand brushed against Mozenrath's left.

Immediately, a piercing ray of sunlight broke through the clouds, and a patch of sapphire blue flowers sprouted where it touched the earth. Jafar glanced at Mozenrath with suspicion; Mozenrath bit his lip in embarrassment. The temperature of the room began rising. Without a word, Mozenrath turned to walk to the window set in the opposite wall, recalling his anger; the temperature plummeted, the clouds obscured the sun, the flowers withered and died.

Now Jafar was sure of his new master's feelings toward him. That, he knew, would be advantageous.

---

SOMEWHERE IN THE SEVEN DESERTS

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Pinkie Pie asked, pointing toward the horizon. The clouds had concentrated in one dark spot where she indicated, and bright flashes of light, far too large to be ordinary lightning, emitted at intervals.

"That's the direction of Quirkistan," Aladdin informed her. He then realized what that meant. "Oh, no…"

"What?" Twilight asked. "What is it?"

"Quirkistan changes based on its king's mood," Aladdin told her.

"So do a lot of countries," Twilight answered obliviously.

"No, not like that. It's more like…if the king is happy, Quirkistan is sunny. If the king is sad, it rains. If the king is angry…" He pointed back out toward the dark spot on the horizon. "That."

"Let's go!" Jasmine commanded.

---

QUIRKISTAN, THE SEVEN DESERTS

The Carpet and the Genie-jet descended at the edge of Quirkistan. Now that they were up close, they could see the horrors imposed upon the land. Clouds completely obscured the sun, shooting down vicious forks of lightning. Chilling winds tore through the atmosphere as thunder boomed. Dead trees were split by lightning, or simply twisted into grotesque shapes. The palace was visible on the horizon's edge, houses surrounding it. Every now and again, columns of fire burst from the earth between the group and the palace.

"Oh, the humanity!" the Genie cried dramatically as he shifted to his human form.

"This is Mozenrath, all right," Aladdin confirmed.

"Big deal!" Rainbow Dash said with a wave of her hand. "I'll have this sky cleared in ten seconds flat."

"No, Rainbow Dash!" Aladdin warned. "You don't understand—"

"Ten. Seconds. Flat," Rainbow Dash insisted before spreading her wings and shooting up into the air. She circled the dark clouds, trying to kick them out of the way; they resisted, springing back and refusing to move. A flash of lightning came too close for comfort, and Rainbow Dash landed. "What's up with these clouds?" she complained. "I can't move them!"

"Not even Thundra could move these!" Iago cried. "We're at the mercy of whoever's on the throne! And there is no winning this one back with battles or games!"

"Then what do we do?" Rarity moaned. "Of all the worst things that could happen—"

Aladdin cut her off. "When I come up against something that seems impossible, I can usually talk my way out of it," he said. "But I don't know if there's anything I can say that can get us out of this!"

"I just feel bad for poor Mozenrath," Pinkie said, which caused everyone to turn to her in surprise.

"I'm sorry," Iago said, "it sounded for a minute there like you said you felt bad for Mozenrath."

"But I do!" Pinkie insisted. "If he's making Quirkistan angry all the time, that means he's angry all the time! And if he's angry all the time, that means he can never be happy!"

"That's it!" Aladdin realized. "He wouldn't settle for not turning Quirkistan into a complete mess…but that wouldn't leave him any room to gloat over it, because that would mean being happy about it! We just have to get him to see it that way!"

"I'll get us to the palace in no time!" the Genie promised. "This could be our easiest victory yet!"

Rainbow Dash, however, had been watching the clouds above. "BLIZZARD CLOUD!" she suddenly yelled, running away as fast as she could. The other five Equestrians, knowing what that meant, followed suit.

"Hey, wait up!" Aladdin called, following them.

"Rainbow Dash!" Jasmine yelled, running alongside Aladdin. The Carpet sailed after them, Abu on board, and Iago came last.

"Huh," the Genie said, not moving. "Wonder what's got her all—"

The cloud above hailed down a shower of snow and ice that completely obscured the area below it. The others watched in horror as the Genie was obscured from view. When the cloud finished precipitating and visibility cleared, the Genie was encased completely in a block of ice.

"GENIE!" Aladdin and Pinkie screamed.

"It was a blizzard cloud," Rainbow Dash said shakingly. "I know exactly what they look like. I knew it had a ton of ice in it. I should have told you…I thought we could all make it…"

"It's okay," Aladdin told her. "You didn't have time."

Jasmine, Twilight, and the Carpet rushed to the frozen Genie, attempting to chip away the ice. Twilight found that she didn't have a spell for such a situation, and Jasmine discovered that even the sharpest rocks on the ground could only dent the ice block.

"We might have to go without him," Jasmine realized.

"No," Aladdin retorted, picking up a rock and trying to tear away the ice. "I'm not going without Genie!" However, he too was defeated by the thickness of the ice.

"We have to go," Twilight realized. "We'll come back for him. I mean, that ice couldn't kill him…could it?"

"No," Aladdin admitted. "All right. Let's go. The sooner we can get Mozenrath to stop messing around with Quirkistan…the sooner we can set Genie free."

He, Jasmine, Twilight, and the Carpet walked back to where the others stood next to a towering cliff. "Looks like the fastest way we can go is if some of us take Carpet," Aladdin realized, "and the rest of us—"

The group was suddenly shaken by a violent earthquake. Rocks tumbled down from the cliff overhead. Boulders landed on the ground with a great cloud of dust in their wake.

Once the ground ceased moving, Twilight called out, "Everypony okay?"

Upon surveying the scene, she saw that the rocks had spared all but one. The Carpet was pinned beneath a mammoth boulder about the size of a small house. "Hang on," she said, surrounding the boulder with pink magic. She tried hard to lift it, but its mass was too great, and it didn't budge. "I'm sorry," she panted after the third attempt.

"We're bein' picked off like fish in a barrel!" Iago realized.

"We better get movin' before some other disaster strikes!" Applejack ordered.

"But Carpet!" Aladdin argued.

"Will be fine once we clear up this mess with Mozenrath!" Applejack insisted. "Now let's go!"

The group, down one genie and one flying carpet, turned toward the palace and began the long trek through the wastelands.

---

The ground shook again.

"Another earthquake!" Twilight called out.

"At least we aren't near any mountains," said Rainbow Dash, thinking the worst that could have happened was another rockslide. She was about to be horrifically corrected.

The ground began to split in two, with Aladdin, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie on one side of the crack and Iago, Jasmine, Fluttershy, Abu, Rarity, and Twilight on the other. A great wall of fire, seeming to stretch eternally to both sides, shot up from the crack and refused to subside.

The fire blocked the way for the latter group to get to the palace. "Hang on!" Twilight yelled. "I think I can reflect this!"

She stared at the fire, focused. She put out her hands, directing energy through them. A tunnel of pink appeared in the fiery wall, leading a way through the flames. She rushed to the center of the tunnel in order to hold it up from a better point of equilibrium. "Go!" she ordered.

Iago wasted no time flying through the tunnel. Fluttershy ran through next, Abu on her shoulder.

Beads of sweat ran down Twilight's face. She was magically drained from trying to move the boulder, and holding up the flames was pressing on her ever harder.

"Twilight?" said Rarity, coming halfway through the tunnel to meet her. "Are you all right?" Behind her, Jasmine entered the tunnel.

Cracks appeared in the pink aura. "I…I can hold it…" Twilight grunted.

"Don't!" Rarity warned. "It's going to collapse! You'll be burned!" She turned to Jasmine, crying out, "Go back!"

"NO!" Twilight insisted as the tunnel became riddled with cracks. "I…can…do this!"

"Twilight! Get out! NOW!" Rarity insisted, backing off.

Twilight closed her eyes, steeled herself—

The cracks gave way. Rarity turned and rushed from the collapsing tunnel.

Twilight realized she'd overestimated herself. Expecting to become engulfed in flame, she waited for the pain, for the end. Instead, she felt herself dragged a short distance, then laid down on the ground. She opened her eyes to see Pinkie hovering over her.

"Twilight!" Pinkie cried. "Are you okay?"

"Did you…did you save me?" Twilight croaked.

"I ran in when the tunnel started falling apart!" Pinkie answered. "My Pinkie-sense told me it was gonna break!"

"Rarity," Twilight realized. "I…I couldn't save Rarity…"

"RARITYYYYYYYYY!" Pinkie called to the wall of flames.

"I'M HERE!" a voice answered from the other side.

"JASMINE!" Aladdin called out. "SAY SOMETHING!"

"I'M ALL RIGHT!" Jasmine yelled back.

Twilight sat up. "I can get them across," she said weakly, putting out her hands. Several flashes of pink crossed the fire, but Twilight was unable to make another tunnel.

"GO ON WITHOUT US!" Jasmine yelled. "WE'LL GO BACK TO GENIE AND CARPET!"

"But that splits up the Elements!" Rainbow Dash realized.

"We've beaten Mozenrath and Jafar when you were split up before," Aladdin reminded her. "We'll just have to do it again."

"Ya think Rarity can really make it all the way back across Quirkistan with all the weird weather and stuff?" Applejack thought out loud.

"She has Jasmine with her," Aladdin pointed out. "Jasmine can protect her from anything."

"Pinkie Pie," Fluttershy asked softly, "what are you looking at?"

"Just the fire," Pinkie admitted. "It's so bright! Maybe Mozenrath is on to something with having fire powers!"

"You know what the last thing we need is?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Giving the crazy one in pink fire?" Iago replied.

"You read my mind," Rainbow Dash sighed.

Twilight stood up shakily. "We have to go on," she resolved.

So they did.

---

Next, a roaring river blocked the way. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Iago flew easily over the raging waters; Fluttershy carried Abu. "Can you make it?" Rainbow Dash called over the thundering of the river.

"I know I can swim this," Applejack said. "Al? Twilight? Pinkie?"

"No problem," Aladdin boasted.

"I…don't know…" Twilight looked hesitantly at the water. Pinkie put in a foot to test it and was nearly dragged away by the current from that alone.

"Hang on!" Rainbow Dash flew back to the other bank, seizing Pinkie under the arms. "I got ya!" She lifted Pinkie into the air, carrying her over as Aladdin and Applejack descended into the rushing water. Fluttershy followed suit with Twilight, barely getting her to the opposite bank without dropping her into the raging rapids.

The intensity of the current picked up. Applejack was finding it harder to stay on course. The waters plunged her under several times, and she struggled just to keep her head above the surface.

After a short but laborious journey, Aladdin reached the opposite bank. He clambered onto land, then extended his hand toward the water. "Applejack! Take my hand!"

Applejack was still in the middle of the river, fighting the current. "I can't!" she cried. "Go on! I'll be…GAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The rapids washed her downstream and out of sight.

"APPLEJACK!" Aladdin, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy yelled.

"It's okay," Twilight muttered to herself. "It's gonna be okay…she can make it…"

"We gotta find her!" Rainbow Dash cried, setting out to run downstream. Pinkie and Aladdin stopped her by each seizing one of her arms.

"We don't have time!" Pinkie reminded her. "Quirkistan is getting more dangerous every second!"

"You know the only way we can stop this!" Aladdin added.

"Then let's get to that palace already!" Rainbow Dash wrenched herself free from their grip, taking off running in the direction of the palace.

---

The winds became more intense. Twilight covered her face with her sleeve, trying to protect her skin from the biting cold. Fluttershy cradled Abu close to her stomach to warm him. Rainbow Dash had taken to the air for a change of pace, and Iago flew alongside her.

Twilight kept her focus on the path ahead. Just as far as the palace, she thought, and then—

Fluttershy screamed.

Aladdin, Pinkie, and Twilight looked to Fluttershy, who pointed upward. The three watched as a great blast of wind caught Rainbow Dash's outstretched wings, blowing her up, up, into the cloudy sky and out of sight. With a yell of terror, Iago was blown in the same direction.

"NO!" Aladdin, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Twilight cried in unison.

"Not Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy nearly sobbed. "She was too strong! There shouldn't have been anything that could do that to her!"

Despite their double loss, Aladdin, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Twilight, and Abu agreed that the only thing to do was go on.

---

At last, the remaining five reached the houses surrounding the palace. They walked quickly up the main street, palace in view.

A small, dark-skinned boy dressed in rags ran out of one of the houses. "Aladdin!" he cried.

"King Mahmoud?" Aladdin replied.

"That was the king?" Pinkie asked.

"I don't know what's happening!" Mahmoud sobbed as he reached the group. "I'm not doing this! I swear I'm not!"

"I know," Aladdin told him. "We know who is. We're going to get your kingdom back, Mahmoud. I promise."

"Aren't you pretty young to be a king?" said Pinkie.

"No!" Mahmoud snapped, his demeanor turning angry. "I'm just the right age to be king! My advisors say so! And I'm learning how to be an even better king every day!"

"Mahmoud," Fluttershy inquired, "would it be all right if…if I stayed with you while the others went to the castle?"

"Fluttershy!" Twilight cried in surprise.

"I'm sorry!" Fluttershy gushed worriedly. "But the Elements are already split up, and…I'm so scared! Rainbow Dash is gone, and so is Jasmine, and I…I can't do it! I can't go on!"

"But we're almost there!" Twilight encouraged.

"Anything could happen!" Fluttershy moaned. "You can manage!"

"She's really scared, isn't she?" said Mahmoud.

"Yeah," Aladdin confirmed. "It wasn't easy getting this far."

Mahmoud approached Fluttershy. "You should stay in shelter with me," he told her. "Will that make you less afraid?"

"A little," Fluttershy admitted.

"Don't worry!" Pinkie told her. "We can get Quirkistan back!"

Fluttershy set Abu on the ground. "You can go with them if you want," she told him.

"Fluttershy?" Abu squeaked. He pointed to her, indicating that he wanted to stay with her.

"He will come with us too!" Mahmoud insisted. "I will take good care of both of you!"

"We'll fix this, Fluttershy," said Aladdin. "I promise. Now stay safe. You too, Mahmoud. And take good care of Abu for me, will you?" This last, he said with a wink.

Mahmoud led Fluttershy to the house where he'd taken refuge, and Abu followed them.

Aladdin, Pinkie, and Twilight looked up toward the palace, knowing this was their last chance.

---

"…when I first discovered the decoy Shamash had set for anyone who tried to find his source of power…when the sprites went on strike and refused to work for me…when Xerxes knocks things over in my lab…" Ticking off more memories of anger, Mozenrath reclined upon the throne, watching the outdoors become more and more violent.

"Excellent," Jafar hissed to himself, still posted at the window.

"Being the king of Quirkistan is hard work," Mozenrath sighed, "but someone has to do it."

Suddenly, the door to the throne room burst open. Pinkie Pie leapt into the room, doing a pirouette as she sang, "My name is Pinkie Pie, hello! And I am here to say, how ya doin'? I'm gonna make you smile and I will brighten up your daaaaaay!"

"What is this?" Mozenrath asked in annoyance.

"'Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile, yes I do!" Pinkie sang.

"Shall I blast her?" Jafar asked.

"I…don't even know what's going on…" Mozenrath admitted.

"Pinkie," Twilight said, entering the room alongside Aladdin, "that's not how to go about this…at all…"

"Oh, come on!" Pinkie protested. "Everypony loves the song!"

The scenery outside changed drastically. The flashes of fire disappeared. The wind changed directions rapidly, blowing first West, then East, then West. A spot cleared in the clouds, and where the sun shone through, rain also fell from completely nowhere.

"Huh?" Aladdin looked to Mozenrath, whose gaze was fixated on Twilight.

"Confused?" Xerxes asked.

"I'd say that's accurate," Aladdin admitted.

"What?" Twilight barked. "What are you CONFUSED about?"

"Nothing," Mozenrath said hastily. He hadn't expected that reaction. The more he thought about it, the more he thought it was an appropriate description of how he felt when he thought about Twilight…sun and rain at once. "Except…how you could have possibly gotten all the way here."

"It wasn't easy," Twilight retorted. "Do you have any idea what it's like out there?"

"Assuming everything went to plan," Mozenrath answered, "it should be barely livable."

"That's an understatement," Twilight grumbled.

"You've sure made a mess of things," Aladdin interrupted. "Pretty angry, huh?"

"I've been thinking about our childhood," Mozenrath snapped. "That should explain a lot to you."

"You must be proud of the level of power you have now," Aladdin went on. "Oh, wait…you can't be! Everything outside is still angry, so I guess you're not happy with it."

"Of course I'm happy with Quirkistan!" Mozenrath rose from the throne and crossed to the window. "I finally own something you can't take away from me. All…of this."

As he said that, the clouds began to lighten and clear away from the sky. Green leaves sprouted on the trees.

"I was wrong," said Aladdin. "You're happy with what you've got after all."

"It shouldn't BE like that!" Mozenrath brought to mind his collection of angry thoughts. The clouds returned. Thunder boomed.

"Are you going to listen to his words of deception?" Jafar asked.

"I'm onto your game," Mozenrath told Aladdin. "You're trying to trick me into getting my emotions mixed up."

"But it isn't a trick!" Pinkie insisted. "It's true! As long as you want Quirkistan to be all stormy and fiery, you can't ever be happy! And a Quirkistan that's fiery and stormy will never make you happy! So as long as you're the king of Quirkistan, it has to make you angry all the time! Nopony wants to be angry all the time!"

"Don't listen!" Jafar hissed.

"That's where you're wrong," Mozenrath told Pinkie. "I…" He suddenly realized he had no comeback to that. He couldn't logically think of a way around what she'd said.

"Face it," Aladdin concluded. "You've bought yourself something you can't pay for. After all, what was the point of all this conquering besides being happy with taking it over?"

"There HAS to be a way around it!" Mozenrath yelled at Jafar. "Tell me the way around this! What do I have to do to be happy with this place?"

"Be content with being discontent!" Jafar snapped back.

"That isn't even possible," Mozenrath told him.

"There's no way you can keep this place up in the long run!" Pinkie insisted.

"This entire kingdom is worthless to you," Twilight added.

Mozenrath turned to stare her down. She glared at him. The winds blew in circles; the clouds lightened while pouring down a torrent of rain.

"Fine," Mozenrath gave in. "Take it back. No, that boy can have it back."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Jafar bellowed.

"Giving up something I don't want anyway," Mozenrath told him. "We have other kingdoms to control. Let's go."

"But this means they've won!" Jafar argued.

"I don't care," Mozenrath replied. "I told you being the king of Quirkistan was hard work. I don't want it anymore. Now let's GO."

Before Jafar could protest, it was Mozenrath who took them both away this time, spiriting himself, Jafar, and Xerxes away in a flash of blue.

"I do like making others happy!" Pinkie said, beaming. "I hope he finds someplace he can actually be glad to conquer!"

"Did she really just say that?" Aladdin asked Twilight.

"She did," Twilight sighed.

"The important thing is," Aladdin said, "we won!"

Outside, the sky turned light gray, and a slightly chilling breeze shook the leaves of the trees. "Mahmoud must still be scared!" Pinkie realized in horror. "Come on! We gotta go tell him he got his kingdom back!" She rushed from the throne room.

"What does it mean?" Twilight asked Aladdin. "Sun and rain at the same time?"

"If I had to guess," said Aladdin, "I'd say happiness and anger at the same time."

"I'm…not sure how I feel about that."

"Judging from the sun and rain? I'd say you're not the only one."

---

Mahmoud returned to his throne gladly, and the weather cleared instantly. The sky became topaz blue once more. The trees grew leaves shining with dew. The ground became a whole of golden sand once more.

Aladdin, Twilight, Fluttershy, Abu, and Pinkie had a much easier trek back to the edge of Quirkistan, across much tamer lands. When they arrived at the starting point, they discovered not only that the ice had melted from the Genie, but that Jasmine, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Iago had all made it back to him.

"You did it!" Jasmine congratulated.

"We were right," Aladdin informed her. "Mozenrath couldn't argue with our logic. He wanted something he could be happy with. So he gave it up."

"Now that you're finally back," Rainbow Dash broke in, "we can get that rock off the Carpet."

The group surrounded the great boulder. The Genie and Twilight combined their magic, forcing the rock to roll while the others pushed it. Eventually, it rolled off the Carpet altogether, and the enchanted rug practically leapt into the air with happiness.

"I wonder where they went now," Twilight said, staring back out at the deserts outside Quirkistan. She looked up into the vast sky…

…and spotted the arrow just in time.

"GAAAAH!" Twilight dodged the golden arrow as it stuck in the ground.

"What the—" Rainbow Dash didn't even have time to wonder before another arrow of the same make stabbed into the ground near her. Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie each dodged a golden arrow as well.

"What is the meaning of this?" Rarity cried.

Her question was soon answered. Shadows fell upon the group, and everyone looked up to see the women, clad in short white dresses and black sandals that laced up their calves, riding five pegasi above them.

"Now that," Rainbow Dash said at the sight of humans riding the winged horses, "is just plain wrong."

---

Chapter 11

· The chapter title comes from the fan favorite of Pinkie's songs.

· Canonically, Quirkistan's weather changes based on the mood of the king. Fire included. It's never really clear whether that's something that comes with the title or whether King Mahmoud just had those powers. I decided it comes with the title.

· Quirkistan is another place that doesn't feature all that heavily in the series, especially compared to Odiferous, but Mozenrath put it on his conquer list in "The Citadel." It's inconceivable that he would leave it alone.

· "When Khartoum betrayed me" = reference to the ep "The Book of Khartoum," where a more powerful sorcerer tricked Moz into releasing him and then tried to destroy him.

· "Ten seconds flat" = Rainbow Dash's boast that she could clear the sky in the first MLPFIM episode. It's become kind of a meme among bronies to say you can do something in "Ten. Seconds. Flat." You'll also notice I had Rarity start to say it was the worst possible thing again.

· There's no canon evidence that RD can identify the kind of precipitation in a cloud, but she's worked with the weather in Equestria A LOT.

· Pinkie-sense: Pinkie has this intuition that tells her when certain things are going to happen, most often when things are about to fall from the sky or a door is about to open and hit someone. Little things like that.

· Foreshadowing the connection I'm building between Pinkie and fire…

· The other things on Moz's list of complaints are mostly references to "Lost City of the Sun," where he tries to get the sprites to dig up an ancient power for him, but they go on strike, and the sorcerer that previously owned that power was a MAJOR troll in leaving clues to where it was.

· The song Pinkie's singing is the one from the chapter title. She canonically has almost an obsession with making others happy. I figure that can extend to villains as well.

· I suppose if you want, you can attribute the "confusion" to Moz seeing Al as well, since they seem to enjoy being enemies a lot. (It's actually a very popular ship among those that don't do the "brothers" theory. I personally have it ingrained in my mind that they're twins, but I also can see a LOT of evidence for the ship.)

· ATAS fans know what the golden arrows mean and who the riders are. For those who don't, all will be revealed next chapter.

· And this is the first time any of the now-human ponies have seen anyone ride a horse. Needless to say, RD is horrified.