"You. Got. Vagected!" Lightning Dust laughs while slamming her mug of cider down on the cloud table.

My ears turn a vibrant shade of crimson, and I hear a second laugh chime in. Next to me Derpy chuckles as she bangs her hoof on the table repeatedly, while all I can do is sigh.

"I wasn't vagected," I mutter indignantly.

"Sure you weren't," Lightning says, still cracking up. She attempts to drink some of her cider, but it ends up coming out through her nose and onto the table instead. It sends the both of them back into giggles.

"Come on Lightning, I don't even have the right parts needed to get vagected in the first place," I argue.

"Yeah, whatever," she says, eventually calming down. "Hey, at least you took a shot, right? That counts for something." She holds her mug up. "To Rider, and his miserably failed attempt to get in Turner's metaphorical pants."

We clink our drinks together and swallow what little cider is left in them. The night is going by too fast; the clock already reading eleven. So far my story of a failed date is the most interesting thing about our bar trip. At least it got a laugh.

Unlike our previous nights at the bar, tonight had been a little stagnant. We have yet to speak beyond small talk and have not done anything but drink. It's like our friendship is hitting a rut.

"Looks like we're all out," Derpy notices.

"I'm on it," Lightning says, swiping up our glasses and bolting off. Her exit to the bar is so swift that it leaves behind a small teal line with a bronze lightning bolt.

"Wow," Derpy whispers. "Even her contrail is amazing."

I have to admit that she's not wrong. It's rare, beyond rare even, for a pegasus to generate enough speed to leave behind an colorful condensation trail like that.

"It is impressive," I remark.

"I mean, it's just so… her," Derpy continues. "Simple, yet elegant. Deceptively cute, but with an underlying power to it that let's you know her confidence isn't all talk."

I glance at her, the words of adoration falling from her lips giving me some cause for concern.

"How are you holding up, Derpy?" I ask. She knows immediately what I'm talking about, and her face shows it.

"I've been better," she admits. "It's not easy, just being her friend, but… I'm managing. I guess that's good."

That is good, I hear myself think. We sit in silence, waiting for Lightning to return with the cider.

"So is Lightning doing okay as a mailmare?" I ask, wanting some conversation. "I've just been getting the bare bones of it from her."

Derpy nods. "She picked it up really well. Between her speed and navigation skills, I'd say she might be one of the best mailmare's we've had in a long time. And after an incident or too, everything's worked out."

"Incident?" I ask reflexively. That almost sounds like something to do with Derpy's crush.

She glances over to our aqua-marine friend, still waiting for the cider mugs to be filled. "I… I didn't bring it up earlier because it wasn't really my place, but… have you heard of a mare named Rainbow Dash?"

I groan, a thousand missing cloud reports suddenly at the forefront of my mind, each one signed with her scratchy signature. "I may have heard of her."

"Well, turns out she was a cadet with Lightning at the Academy… and they didn't leave on good terms."

"I won't press any further then," I say, already having a guess or two about what that means. Lightning arrives with three freshly filled mugs, fizzing with cider.

"Anypony else got a good buzz going yet?" Lightning asks. Her mug is in her mouth before either of us answer.

"Kinda," I admit.

"Nope," Derpy informs us. I'm not surprised. She's only starting her second mug, which is odd. Derpy as a whole is drinking less than usual; on the other hoof, Lightning is chugging more than usual. She's already cleared the half-dozen mark.

"Well come on then, what's the hold up?" Lightning asks. "Night's still young."

Derpy swishes the cider around the mug a few times before politely taking a sip. We all unconsciously decide that now is the perfect time for an awkward silence, a decision Lightning reinforces by throwing her head back and guzzling the amber liquid in her mug.

Our lack of sound is filled by the surrounding noise of the bar. The typical Wednesday night karaoke singers are going it at, each as tone deaf as ever. There is also a latent level of mingling around us as well, but the real sound is coming from the two stallions behind us.

I wasn't entirely sure of their actions, but I assume they're either riding the baloney pony rather furiously, or they are trying to subdue a deranged octopus. In all honesty my hopes are high for the latter.

Their rough housing knocks the booth, forcing me forwards into the table and knocking over my drink, a fair amount of which latches onto my body. I'm lucky everything is made of clouds, otherwise I would have just taken a very severe blow to the ribcage. Despite this, I groan at the inconvenience of having booze all over myself.

"Hah!" Lightning laughs with one half-closed eyelid. "You spilled coat all over your cider."

Wiping away the alcohol before it has the chance to get sticky, I look up at her. It's become obvious that she's gone from Tipsy Dust to Drunk Dust. The seventh empty cider mug confirms this.

"You feeling all right?" I ask, wondering if we would need to leave The Lickety Split soon.

"Dandy, Rider. I feel like I could punch the bartender in the jaw and get away with it."

My eyes unconsciously dart over towards Tap. The burly pegasus is busy serving some newcomers with a gentle smile on his face. I can't picture in my head Lightning's asinine justification for wanting to punch him, or the reason why she thinks she can get away with it.

"You know," I start while pushing my mug away. "Maybe it's best if we call it a night."

"What?" Lightning exclaims. "No, come on we can still do something." She thinks for a moment. "I got it! Let's break into the Ponyville Postal Office. We can play pool all night, just the three of us."

Derpy facehoofs, while I at least give Lightning the courtesy of doing so in my head.

"Lightning, you work at the post office, and hell, I run the place! We don't have to break in."

"Oh… sounds like a plan then! So let's–"

"Actually, I probably should be getting home," Derpy interjects. "Sparkler's probably put Dinky to bed, and is just waiting around with nothing to do."

"Hang on, we can do something really quick!" Lightning shouts as we begin to rise from our seats. "Rider, what if we sang some karaoke? Last time it was so epic; what do you say?"

"I don't know." I shift awkwardly. "I'm not nearly drunk enough."

She grabs my hoof, likely assuming I'm on board anyway. Before my slightly inebriated body can react, I'm lurching forward. I struggle some, but Lightning's grip holds firm.

We're approaching the stage, and I notice that there's already a performer – and I use that term loosely, as her voice is kind of grating – on stage. I'm about to inform Lightning of this, but she beats me to the punch.

"Hey, can it," she demands of the singer, mercifully cutting her off before she hits a high note.

"W-what?" the blue mare stammers.

"It's our turn to sing like a dying monkey, not yours. Now get off the stage."

I can't help but think that Lightning's being a little ruder than necessary. Judging from the dirty looks she's getting from the band, they agree with me. Dust gives the pegasus holding the mic an intense glare. Stepping forward, Lightning gains ground and this forces the other pony to take a step back.

"But I– Ahhh!" the mare's protests are cut short as Lightning shoves her off stage. She lands on her ass, but recovers quickly. Her eyes angrily pierce at Lightning from behind her tossed about green mane. Derpy flutters up next to me, concern for Lightning covering her face.

"Hey you!" she barks at the guitarist. "Play 'Colt of Personality', will ya? I know you know it!"

He shifts his gaze from Lightning to me, eyebrow raised in stark irritation and lids narrowed ever so slightly. I know that look. It's the universal get-this-drunk-ass-pony-to-sleep-before-she-blows-something-up look.

"Hey Lightning, maybe it's best if you lie down for a minute."

"I don't want to lie down! I want to sing. I want us to have a good time like we always do." Lightning uses her eyes to plead with me.

"We can have a good time, but this–"

The mare Lightning knocked aside flies in between us, and she is unequivocally pissed. "What the hell's your problem?" she rages.

"And now this bitch is back," Lightning announces while swaying from drunkenness. "Did you enjoy the floor?"

"Oh you are asking for it." Her hoof swings back, winding up for a punch.

"Why don't we all calm down?" Derpy suggests, stepping between the two mares.

Crack!

I wince as the hoof intended for Lightning makes contact with Derpy's face. She backpedals, clutching her eye and whimpering in pain.

In a fraction of a second, Lightning's face becomes red with fury. "You're dead!" she roars at the blue mare. Lightning plants her hoof in the mare's jaw at blinding speed. Before she can even register the pain, another punch catches her in the ribs.

I grab Lightning before she can get off another hit and yell, "Settle down, she's had enough."

Obviously, my friend didn't care. She leaps up, using me as a buttress, and strikes the blue pegasus with both of her hind legs, sending her sprawling down.

"Buck you!" Lightning shouts. I have no idea if the pun is intentional or not.

The band members are noticeably pissed off now, and the guitarist takes a swing at Lightning Dust. She slips from my hooves to dodge the blow; I'm not so lucky.

Pain erupts in my snout, and my head jerks back.

"Bar fight!" a random pony yells out. As my eyes open the scene around me devolves into a bedlam. The guitarist's attention is no longer on me as he is gunning for Lightning Dust – who is still too distracted with the other mare to notice.

He moves, ready to strike her, but I'm faster. One swift kick to the balls and he's reeling in pain. The band's drummer and bass player begin to swarm me.

I lash out blindly and catch one of them in the jaw. The other pony raises his bass and I'm too slow to duck. Luckily I don't have to. Lightning drops from overhead and lands on him. They clatter to the floor.

Extending a hoof I help Lightning up. She nods a thanks and goes back into the bar fray, a smile on her face. Distantly, I hear her whoop and holler.

The fighting is expanding now, with the melee closely approaching the stage. Panicking, I grab Derpy in one hoof, and bolt into the brawl behind us.

We stay on the floor, as most of the bar has already taken flight. A few wild hooves catch me from above, but other than that I go unscathed. The cloud floor below us is sticky from absorbing spilled alcohol, making me groan. Lightning catches us out of the corner of her eye and leaves the mare she was attacking.

In no time the three of us reach the door. I open it and push Derpy and Lightning through. Before I leave I spare a passing glance at the bar. The drummer and bassist who were after us are caught up in the dangling limbs of the grappling pegasi. Tap is desperately trying to restore order, but failing. Ponies everywhere are thrashing about, violently shouting off a few curses as they do so. Unwilling to stay any longer, I rush outside.

Lightning Dust is laughing. "Can you believe it? We got into a bar fight! Haha, that was awesome."

"I'm pretty sure we'll never be allowed in the Lickety Split ever again," I inform her. She shrugs it off.

"There's always the Dizzy Weasel. Hey, maybe we'll get in a fight there too, won't that be great?"

"No," Derpy says, sniffling. Lightning drops her excited attitude as concern for Derpy grips both of us. She still has a hoof over her eye; the other one is tearing up in pain.

"Derpy, are you all right?" Lightning asks, concerned.

"I-I think so. My eye just hurts a lot."

"Here, let me see," I tell her, nudging her fore hoof. She begrudgingly moves it away. Her eye is swelled and bruised, but luckily nothing was bleeding.

"Yep, that's a shiner," I say, whistling lowly. "You just need to ice it though."

"Thanks," she murmurs.

"Derpy…" Lightning starts. She looks like somepony hit her in the gut. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to get hurt." Lightning throws her arms around the gray mare, catching her off guard. Derpy doesn't waste anytime in wrapping her fore legs around her friend. The look on her face tells me that she's barely holding back a squeak of joy. She might just be the happiest assaulted mare I've ever met.

"Hey, I got hurt too," I point out, my snout throbbing.

"Suck it up," Lightning snaps at me. She turns back to Derpy. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Y-yeah…" Derpy stammers, giddy from Lightning's embrace.

I glance back to the bar doors, worrying that somepony might barge out in an effort to continue to fight. The noise level inside certainly suggests this is a possibility.

"I should probably get you home, Lightning. It's been a long night."

Lightning steps away from the hug, and she sways in her drunken stupor. "Yeah, sure."

"W-wait," Derpy cries out. "I'll take you home."

I raise an eyebrow. "You sure Derpy?"

"I can handle it, Rider." Derpy shoots me a look that says either let her do this, or get a black eye to match hers. I glance at Lightning and she is offering no objections.

"Okay…" I say hesitantly.

---

"Thanks for helping me get home, Derpy," Lightning said as they stumbled through the backstreets of Cloudsdale.

"Not a problem." Derpy smiled, looking at her friend through her one good eye. Lightning felt a pang of guilt for being the cause of that.

"I really am sorry about your eye," she said.

Derpy sighed. "Come on Lightning, this is like the fifth time you've apologized. I already don't blame you."

"Okay, I just feel bad is all," Lightning admitted.

"Did you punch me in the face?"

"What? Of course not. I–"

"Then stop feeling bad," Derpy insisted. "I'm fine Lightning. Honestly."

Lightning Dust forced a smile. She was about to say something, but tripped over her own hooves instead. Derpy caught her before she hit the cloud ground.

"Thanks," Lightning whispered. "Guess I'm still to hammered to walk well."

"D-Do you want me to h-hold you up for the rest of the way?" Derpy stumbled out.

"Yeah sure," Lightning said. "I'd prefer that to a face full of cloud."

Derpy blushed, but turned her head so Lightning wouldn't see. She threw one hoof around Lightning's shoulder and gingerly placed the other one on her aqua-marine chest.

"S-so are we almost to your place?" Derpy looked around. They were well into the bad side of Cloudsdale, and she wanted to pass through soon.

"Turn at the next corner."

Derpy quickly followed the direction. They were still in the bad part of town, so she looked to Lightning, wondering what the next step was.

"Home sweet home," Lightning ruefully said, looking dead ahead.

Derpy followed her friend's gaze and her jaw dropped. They were in front of possibly the worst apartment complex she had ever seen. Even in the low light, Derpy could tell the cloud building was poorly kept for. The entire top floor look dispatched, and with so many holes in the building she couldn't tell what was meant to be a window or not. She inhaled through her nose and gagged immediately.

"L-Lightning," she stammered. "This can't possibly be your place. It's a… a…"

"Piece of shit?" Lightning filled in for her. Derpy wordlessly nodded. Lightning wiggled out of her hold. "Yeah I know. Thanks for getting me here at least." Lightning started to walk inside, hastily. "See you later."

"What?" Derpy exclaimed as her friend disappeared inside. She unfurled her wings and fluttered in hurriedly.

Lightning was stumbling toward a room, unaware that Derpy had followed her. She fiddled with a door for a moment, before giving up and slamming her body into it to force it open. She stumbled inside, not even bothering to close it. Worried, Derpy rushed after her.

"Lightnin– oh holy shit!" Derpy was so shocked her wings stopped working and she landed on the floor. The scene before was by far the most disturbing she had ever witnessed.

Lightning's room – and she was being very generous by calling it a room – was in an abysmal state of disrepair. Everything was broken, sans the bed which was cloud sculpted. Stained cloud parts were everywhere and the floor was littered with an unhealthy layer of trash. Lightning stood in the center, wide-eyed upon spotting Derpy. She lowered her head in shame.

"You… you… Lightning this can't be your place!" Derpy cried. "Please tell me you're playing a joke on me."

Lightning bit her lip. "…I wish I could, Derpy." She plopped herself on to the ground. "I… I kinda hoped you'd never see this."

"How long have you been living here?" Derpy asked.

Lightning gritted her teeth. "Two weeks."

"What?!"

Her friend flinched. "Derpy, it's not that bad. Besides once I save up enough I can move out." She kicked an empty muffin tin despondently. "It'll be fine, okay?"

"You've been living here for two weeks?" Derpy said, mortified. That… that's how long we've known each other. Sweet Celestia, why didn't she tell me?

"It hasn't been bad," Lightning blatantly lied. "I only stay here at night, so I just forget how bad it is during the day."

"Why?" Derpy asked, stepping closer to her friend.

"I couldn't afford anything else after the… after the Academy threw me out." A small tear raced down Lightning's cheek.

"Is this why you didn't want to leave the bar?" Derpy asked. Lightning nodded.

"I hate having to come back here every night," she admitted. "I mean, hanging out with you, and Rider, and Time is just… bucking awesome. It helps me forget that I'll never be a Wonderbolt." She rubbed her eye. "I'm sorry. I know you said you throw an onion ring at me if I ever pitied myself again but…"

"No," Derpy said. She placed a hoof on Lightning's mouth. "Don't be sorry for this. It isn't your fault, okay?" Lightning nodded. "Good, now pack up anything you want to keep."

"What?" Lightning asked. "Why?"

"You're going to stay at my place until you can get a proper apartment." The decision was spontaneous, but Derpy didn't care. She wasn't going to let her friend suffer here anymore.

"Really?"

"Yes, now hurry up and pack your stuff."

Lightning smiled brightly and gave Derpy a quick, yet genuine hug. Derpy's heart practically melted when Lightning broke away. She took two steps to her closet and pulled out a duffel bag. She packed only a few items: the bits she had earned so far as a mailmare, Derpy's muffin tin, and a tooth brush.

"That everything?" Derpy asked. Lightning paused. She sifted through the trash and soon brought up a battered looking Wonderbolts uniform. Sighing, she tossed it into the bag and zipped it up.

"Yep."

The two mares left the apartment hastily. Lightning left her key and a barely written note at the front desk, and they left.

Their walk through the city was brisk, as Derpy wanted to get out of this side of town as soon as possible. Lightning wasn't far from that opinion either. When they reached the edge of the city, they stopped.

"Uh… I think I'm still to drunk to fly."

"Don't worry, you can… um…" Derpy unfurled her wings. "…r-ride on my back."

Lightning – both tired and drunk – didn't think anything more of her suggestion. She wrapped her hooves around Derpy's neck and torso. Derpy's fetlocks buckled slightly as Lightning added her weight to her by sliding her stomach onto her back.

Derpy felt a shiver of pleasure rush down her spine, and she barely contained herself as she stretched out her wings.

"Kay, just hold on t-tight," Derpy squeaked the words out as Lightning's grip strengthened. In one fluid motion, she leapt off the edge of the clouds and felt the rushing night air whip across her face. Her blonde mane smacked Lightning in the mouth, and she heard her friend spitting out hair.

Squinting through the breeze, Derpy flapped her wings and swooped through the air. She was careful not to knock Lightning off as she did so.

Their flight to her home was brief and severely lacking in chatter. Not that Derpy was complaining; between focusing on flying with admittedly stiffer than usual wings and keep Lightning level, she couldn't focus on anything else.

Finally they landed, and Lightning rolled off Derpy's back, plopping on the grass with an "oof". The gray mare smiled while trying to appear casual with her wings still flared.

"Thanks for the ride," Lightning said. Derpy offered a hoof to help Lightning up and she gratefully accepted.

"Ready to go in?"

"Yeah, I'm beat."

Derpy unlocked her house and they trotted inside. She flipped on the light, as she saw Sparkler reposed on the couch, snoring softly. She went over to the teen and shook her awake while Lightning set her duffel bag down.

"Hey Sparkler, wake up," Derpy said gently.

"Eh… maybe tomorrow…" Sparkler yawned.

"Come on kid, your parents probably want you home soon."

The unicorn shifted. "Okay, okay, I'm getting up." Her head drifted above the couch and her eyes caught sight of Lightning. Sparkler jolted awake. "What's she doing here?" she whispered out of the green pegasus' earshot. "And what happened to your eye?" Derpy touched her face, which had stopped stinging a while ago.

"She needed a place to stay," Derpy explained. "And the eye thing is a different story altogether." She passed some bits to the foalsitter as payment for tonight. "Now go home, all right?"

"Why? You two need some privacy?" Sparkler's eyebrows shot up, hintingly.

Derpy's face went from gray to red in a nanosecond. "N-no. Just go home."

Sparkler smiled. "Will do," she said at normal volume. "Goodnight Ms. Derpy. Goodnight Lightning."

"Night, Sparkler." Lightning waved as the unicorn bouncily walked out of the house.

Derpy walked over to the closet, concealing her flushed face, and grabbed a blanket. She waited, trying to restore her natural face color before turning towards her friend. When she felt the mutinous blush dissipate, she looked over at Lightning.

"Hope you don't mind the couch," she said, plopping the blankets on the cushions. "I don't have a guest room."

"It's fine." Lightning wearily smiled. "It'll be softer than my last bed at least."

"I thought you slept on a cloud."

"Could've fooled me. Damn thing felt like a sack of rocks."

Derpy offered a half-grin. "Well, at least this is better."

"Yeah." Lightning set a hoof on the blankets. "Derpy… thanks for letting me stay here. I… your… It's amazing."

"Hey, what are friends for?" It still hurt to say those words, but Derpy kept her cringing internally. Lightning needed her to be a friend.

"Friends hold your head while you throw up in the toilet," Lighting said. "You… you're a whole other level."

"Damn straight." Derpy bumped her hoof into her friend's shoulder. "Now good night."

"Night."

Derpy opened her wings once more and flew up to the top of the stairs. She landed, and shot a glance at Lightning. Her crush was ensconcing herself on the couch, ready for what might be her first good night of rest in two weeks. As her eyes fluttered closed, Derpy

The gray mare let out an inaudible sigh, and then went to bed.

---

And thus, the halfway mark is reached.