Chapter 5: If I Only Had a Brain

Applebloom continued her journey with relative ease into a cornfield when she came to a fork in the road with a scarecrow in a hat with orange cloth to make a coat, painted with a mouth and green eyes, and yellow yawn for hair staked in the middle to protect the field from crows.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road." Applebloom said as she looked around. "Follow the Yellow..."
She looked at the two paths and sighed as no one had mentioned a fork in the road.
"Now which way do we go?" Applebloom asked with a sigh.
"Beg pardon," said a voice that came from apparently nowhere. "That way is a very nice way."
Applebloom looked around, but the only thing there was the scarecrow, with a foreleg pointing to the left.
"Who said that?" Applebloom asked quickly.
Winona, however, was barking at the scarecrow.
"Don't be silly, Winona." Applebloom remarked. "Scarecrows don't talk."
"It's pleasant down that way too." The voice said as Applebloom looked up, and the scarecrow was pointing the other way.
"That's funny." Applebloom pondered. "Wasn't she pointin' in the other direction?"
"A'course ponies do go both ways." The voice said, most definitely coming from the scarecrow as she crossed her forelegs to point at both roads.
Applebloom could only stare in disbelief. Witches being real in this land was one thing, but she'd never heard of a talking scarecrow before.
"Why, ya did say somethin', didn't ya?" Applebloom asked.
The scarecrow shook her head before nodding it and shaking it again.
"Are ya doin' that on purpose, or can't ya make up your mind?" Applebloom asked.
"That's just the trouble." The scarecrow said. "I can't make up my mind. I aint got a brain. Only straw."
"Well how can ya talk if ya don't have a brain?" Applebloom asked.
"I don't know." The scarecrow asked. "But some ponies without brains do an awful lot of talkin', don't they?"
"Yes, I guess you're right." Applebloom admitted. "Well, we haven't really met properly, have we?"
"Why no." The scarecrow agreed.
"How do ya do?" Applebloom asked.
"How do ya do." The scarecrow responded.
"Very well, thank you." Applebloom said with a smile.
"Oh, I'm aint feeling at all well." The scarecrow said. "Ya see it's very borin' being stuck up here all day long with a pole up your back."
"Oh dear." Applebloom said, realizing how uncomfortable it must be. "That must be terribly uncomfortable. Can't ya get down?"
"Down?" The scarecrow asked. "Well no. Ya see I'm... Well I don't really know how I'm held up here."
"Oh, well here." Applebloom said as she went to the back of the pole and looked for a rope or something tying the scarecrow to it.
"Oh that's mighty kind of ya." The scarecrow said with a smile. "Mighty kind."
"Oh dear." Applebloom said as she was having trouble herself. "I don't see what I can do here."
"Course I'm not bright 'bout doin' things." The scarecrow began. "But if ya just bend a nail down in the back, maybe I'll slip off and-"
"Oh yes!" Applebloom remarked as she bent an outstretched nail down, and she fell down, and a chunk of straw fell out of her chest, which opened suddenly from a snag.
"Whoops!" The scarecrow said with a chuckle. "There goes some of me again."
"Oh, does it hurt ya?" Applebloom asked alarmed at part of a person coming out of him.
"Oh no." The scarecrow assured her. "I just pick it up and put it back in again."
"I'm Applebloom." Applebloom said.
"Nice ta meet ya." The Scarecrow replied. "Oh, it's good to be free!"
The scarecrow did a summersault as he slipped and rolled down the hill onto the road.
"Oh!" Applebloom called out in alarm. "Oh!"
"Did I scare ya?" The Scarecrow asked eagerly.
"Oh no." Applebloom assured him. "I just thought you hurt yourself."
"But I didn't scare ya?" Scarecrow asked.
"No." Applebloom said plainly. "A'course not."
"I didn't think so." Scarecrow said as a crow began chewing on her shoulder. "Scat! Shoo! Go away!"
The crow just laughed and flew off.
"Ya see?" Scarecrow asked Applebloom. "I can't even scare a crow. They come from miles around just ta eat in my field and laugh in my face. Oh, I'm a failure 'cause I aint got no brain."
"Well, what would ya do with a brain if ya had one?" Applebloom asked.
"Do?" Scarecrow asked as he thought about it. "Why if I had a brain, I could..."
I could while away the hours.
Confirmin' with the flowers.
Consultin' with the rain.
In my head, I'd be scratching
While my thoughts were busy hatching
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel any riddle
For any individual
In trouble or in pain.
"With the thoughts you'd be thinkin', you could be another Lincoln if ya only had a brain." Applebloom agreed with a smile.
Oh I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before,
And then I'd sit and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin'.
My head all full of stuffin'.
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry!
Life would be a dingy dairy
If I only had a brain!
Scarecrow hopped around, getting used to her new legs as she finished up next to Applebloom.
"Wonderful!" Applebloom remarked. "Why if our scarecrows back in Ponyville could do that, the crows would be scared ta pieces."
"They would?" Scarecrow asked with a smile before she got a look in her eyes. "Where's Ponyville?"
"It's where I live." Applebloom explained. "And I wanna get back there so badly, I'm going to ask the great Wizard of Oz to help me."
"You're going ta see a wizard?" Applejack asked. "Do you think if I went with ya, this wizard could give me some brains?"
"I couldn't say." Applebloom replied. "But even if she didn't, you'd be no worse off than ya are now."
"Yes, that's true." Scarecrow said in a way one receives news that's neither good or bad.
"But maybe ya better not." Applebloom said after she looked at her slippers, the Ruby Slippers Nightmare Moon was after. "But maybe you better not. I've got a witch mad at me, and you might get into trouble."
"Witch?" Scarecrow scoffed. "I aint afraid a'no witch. I aint afraid a'nothin'."
Scarecrow then looked herself over and whispered in Applebloom's ear.
"'Cept a lighted match."
"I don't blame ya for that." Applebloom said truthfully.
"But I'd face a whole box of 'em at the chance to get some brains!" Scarecrow declared. "Look, I won't be no trouble 'cause I don't eat a thing, and I won't try to manage things 'cause I can't think. Won't you take me with ya?"
"Why a'course I will." Applebloom said with a heartfelt smile.
"Yee-ha!" Scarecrow cheered. "We're off to see a wizard!"
"Well you're not starting off very well!" Applebloom said as Scarecrow hopped around.
"Oh, I'll try!" Scarecrow said. "Really, I will!"
"To Oz?" Applebloom said with a smile, offering her foreleg.
"To Oz." Scarecrow repeated, taking the foreleg as they danced down the left fork of the Yellow Brick Road.
We're off to find the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
You'll find she is the Wiz,
The Wiz if ever the Wiz there was!
If ever the Wonderful Wiz there was,
There is because, because, because, because...
Because of the wonderful things she does!
We're off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
The new friends then headed off, with Applebloom feeling an odd familiarity about Scarecrow that she couldn't shake no matter how hard she tried.

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And Applebloom's met the stand in for my favorite character.