Herro pony fans far and wide! Well anyways, I told myself I wasn't going to write a fanfic based on the popular "Daddy Discord" head cannon, but I couldn't resist! I also owe a little bit of my inspiration for this idea to the BBC television series Merlin; an episode from said series inspired me to write this. Anyways, constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy!

Oh, and another thing; I'm still working on My Little Mystery Dungeon, I've just decided to take a small break from it.

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"A strange strategy you have."

"Thank you, Master Yoda."

"Shut up."

"You shut up."

Luna pushed a Rook foward three spaces, "YOU shut up."

In return, Discord used his Knight to capture Luna's Rook, "Correction, my dear. Shut up, you will."

The Night Princess and the Chaos Spirit were busy playing chess in Celestia's bedroom. Ever since Discord claimed he was "reformed", the two always played chess on Saturday nights when Celestia was away visiting other parts of the kingdom. It was often very entertaining to watch them battle it out in a usually boring thought game.

"How dare thee capture our castle with thy horse!" Luna yelled, sounding as though she was about to switch over to her Royal Canterlot voice.

"Woona, wet me tell you dis one more time," Discord said, using baby talk, "Dee castle is called a Wook, while dee horsey is called a Knight. Otay?"

"Do not talk to us like a child..." Growled Luna, "We art nearly twenty thousand years old!"

"I'm forty-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine and a half. Invalid, your arguement is."

"Refrain from talking like that!"

"Not, I will."

Luna stopped talking with the Draconequus and turned her attention back to the chess board. She had only managed to capture four of Discord's pawns, both of his bishops, and one of his knights. His queen was getting dangerously close to her king, but she wasn't in checkmate yet.

"Your turn, it is."

Luna was getting seriously frustrated. Without thinking, she put her king into a bad position, right into the path of Discord's queen. A wicked smile crossed the Draconequues' face as he moved his queen to Luna's king and knocked it off the board.

"Checkmate, Luna dear."

Luna slammed her hooves against the table, "THOU HAST CHEATED! THOU DISTRACTED US FROM THE GAME!"

Discord only flinched a little before the troll-like smile returned to his face, "Clueless Luna. I know my beauty is distracting, but you shouldn't hate me for it."

"THOU WILL ZIP THY LOUD MOUTH OF RUDENESS!"

"All the better to annoy you with, my dear!"

Luna scowled. She shook her head quickly, "No. No! We will not fall into your trap of annoyance!" She stood up promptly, glaring muderously at Discord, "We leave you now, before we blast you to stone again!"

"Blast me to stone, you will not," Discord replied, his smirk growing even wider, "Fluttershy, kind she is. Turn me to stone, she will not let you do."

Luna was about to snap, so she did the mature thing and turned tail, trotting elegantly away from the Draconequus.

"Boom shakalaka!" Cheered Discord as he jumped on the large, fluffy bed shaped like a sun, "I get Dullestia's bed! I'm totally sleeping good tonight!"

Luna ignored him, trotting out of the room. She wished she could hit him in the face with a very large mallet, but she had to stay mature. Celestia put her in charge of watching over the kingdom and she couldn't fight with the immature fool that was Discord.

Luna continued to quietly walk down the hall. She gazed at the night sky, taking pride of the constellations she had all made by herself, no help from big sis. She was so engrossed by it, she nearly had a heartattack when her front leg ran into something. She looked down, discovering something she wasn't expecting.

Sitting at her hooves was a pinkish-purple filly around eight or nine years old. Her mane was a wild, unruly mess of purple and white streaks with a little orange and yellow propeller cap hidden in the tangles. Her eyes were something that Luna had never seen before in a normal pony. They were purple with no pupils, just endless, hypnotic swirls that the Night Princess found difficult to look away from.

"Oh, I'm sorry Princess Luna," Said the little filly timidly, "I-I... I didn't mean to get in your way... I'll just... Just..."

"No need to be afraid, my child," Luna assured with a kind smile, "I don't believe I've seen you before. Are you lost?"

"No. I'm just looking for my daddy." The filly replied, seeming scared of the Princess.

Luna gave a puzzled look. Maybe she was a daughter of one of the guards. Even then, she had never seen this filly before and she knew pretty much everyone who lived in her kingdom.

"May I ask, what is your name?" Questioned the Princess. Maybe her name would ring a bell.

"I'm Screwball." Said the filly. She attempted to get around Luna, but the Alicorn stepped in her way.

"Who is your father?" She asked.

"Why are you asking so many questions, stalker?" Growled Screwball, looking quite ferocious even though she was so tiny.

"I only wish to know."

"He's Discord. Now please move!" Screwball pushed past Luna, turning into Celestia's bedroom where Luna had just come from.

The Princess wasn't sure if she heard that right. Since when did Discord have a kid? Since when did he like kids? Maybe the filly was lying, or delusional, Luna could never be too sure. But seeing those weird, swirly eyes; eyes that no normal pony could have... Luna was curious as to whether or not Screwball was indeed Discord's child.

The Alicorn followed the purple filly down the hall, coming back into her sister's bedroom. Discord was still sitting on the bed, but Screwball had climbed up next to him. She scowled a little when the Princess walked in.

"Ah, Luna!" Spoke Discord, "I see you've met my daughter. She was just telling me about her meeting with you in the hall."

"So... She is indeed your child?" Luna clarified.

Discord paused, biting his lower lip, "Well... Technically, no. She wasn't born from the birds and the bees as most ponies are, for she never had a mother. She was born from my magic, to be exact."

"Daddy, I can't be born from birds and bees!" Screwball objected, "That's silly! If I was born from birds and bees, I would be a bird with yellow and black stripes!"

Discord chuckled under his breath, though Luna was trying to hide her rude snickers.

"Thaaaaaat's... Not exactly what I meant." Said the spirit. He turned back to Luna, "But anyways, when I first took over Equestria, I went crazy, making every possible looney and nonsensical thing my irrational mind could think of. I guess I didn't realize how powerful my magic was and accidentally made a new life."

"When you first took over Equestria?" Asked Luna, a puzzled frown winding its way onto her face, "Are you telling me... She's nearly one thousand years old?"

"She's immortal, since she was created from magic alone," Explained Discord, "And you should know, Alicorn Princess. A thousand years is really only ten in an immortal's time."

"So... You just claimed her as your child?"

Discord snatched up the little filly in a hug, causing her to laugh in an insanely cute way, "I did indeed! How could you possibly say no to her precious little face?"

Luna didn't say anything, but mentally she agreed.

"Oh, Screwball, why don't you go play for a little while?" Suggested Discord, setting Screwball down on the floor, "I need to talk to Auntie Luna real fast."

"Okay!" Replied the filly. She trotted out the door, but not before glaring murderously at Luna. The Princess couldn't understand why Screwball kept giving her those mean looks.

"Luna, I need to talk to you about something," Discord said, his tone suddenly becoming serious, "Concerning my daughter, you, and Celestia."

Luna sat on the bed next to Discord, "What is it?"

The spirit paused, "Ah... Well... I don't really know how to say this... Except that Screwball hates you."

Luna didn't seem shocked. Screwball did indeed seem to send her signals of resentment.

"And Celestia," He paused, "Poor Screwy's terrified of her. She only came to the castle because Celestia was gone."

"Why so?"

"Because of what you two did to me," Explained Discord, "She saw when you first turned me into stone and it scarred her for life. She also lost me for a thousand years because of you. Like I mentioned before, she has no other family but me."

Guilt suddenly stormed through Luna. Realizing that she had taken an innocent little girl's father weighed heavily on her heart.

"Screwball still refused to leave me," Discord continued, idly playing with the bed sheets, "She sat by my statue for a thousand years, only leaving for food and bathroom purposes."

"What did she do for all that time?" Luna asked, just curious as to how the little filly kept herself entertained for nearly a millennia.

"Well, she cried; a lot. She'd clean up my statue and the other statues around. She'd sometimes talk to me, even though I couldn't reply back. Oh, and believe it or not, but she loved to write and sing songs, mostly for me. Most of the time she spent crying, or telling me how much she wanted me to come back." He suddenly looked solemn, "Not my greatest millennia, I'll tell you that. Not her greatest either."

"That's horrible," Cried Luna, "I... I really don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything," Reassured Discord, "I realize you had no choice but to turn me into stone. I was a huge jerk back then, and it was my fault for causing Screwball all that misery. It would have never happened if I hadn't snapped and went crazy."

Luna wanted to scream: "You still are a jerk!", but Discord seemed emotionally fragile at the moment, so she held her tongue.

"All I'm asking is that you please try not to scare my child," He said with a truly honest twinkle in his eyes, "She adopted my personality as a troublemaker and will probably get on your nerves. But she is emotionally scarred enough, and I would like to teach her not to hate you."

Luna didn't sense that this was some sort of trick to catch her off guard, so she nodded.

"I will. And I will tell my sister that as well when she returns."

"Good!" The spirit cheered, a smile appearing on his face, "Now, excuse me while I go put the child in question to bed." He got off the bed, trotting towards the room's exit.

"Would you like me to help?" Luna asked, "I mean, maybe if I bond with Screwball, she'll see me and my sister in a different light."

Discord paused for consideration, "Ah, why not? I always need help with putting Screwy to bed. She can be a hyper little rascal sometimes!"

Luna suddenly wished that she hadn't said anything. Discord exited the room with the Princess close behind. Screwball was just a little ways down the hall, playing with a serious-faced guard who refused to acknowledge her.

"Screwball!" Called the spirit, "It's time for bed!"

Immediately, Screwball's happy smile fell. She stared at her father sadly before she took off running in the other direction.

"Oh no wait wait wait!" Discord cried. He stomped in frustration, "Oh, not again..."

"We can catch her together," Luna suggested, "She doesn't stand a chance against two immortals, does she now?"

"It takes me about five minutes to catch her and put her to bed." Explained Discord. He silently figured the up numbers by counting on his lion fingers, "With you helping me, it should take less than two minutes!"

"Let's stop thinking what should happen and let's catch her!"

The two went after the purple filly, who had just turned the corner of the hall.

"I will cut her off," Luna suggested, "She'll be trapped between you and me."

"For the first time ever, you've actually had a good idea." Discord replied, obviously trying to get under Luna's skin again. She ignored him, teleporting herself to the hall which Screwball had turned onto. She ended up right in front of the fleeing filly, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Go to thy father!" Commanded Luna, "Thou hast been naughty!"

In a way, Screwball did obey. She attempted to backtrack, trying to get away from Luna, but she ended up running right into the clutches of her father. He snatched her up against her will, holding her tight so she couldn't wiggle out and escape.

"Gotcha, you little scamper!" The spirit cheered, "Thought you could outsmart your ol' daddy and Auntie Luna, hmm? Well, now you're going to bed, whether you like it or not."

Screwball sighed sadly, "Okay daddy. You win."

"Of course I do!" Discord replied. He tickled the filly's tummy, causing her to giggle, "Now, let's get you to bed so your daddy can sleep, how about it?"

Screwball chortled, "Okay!"

Discord glanced at Luna, "Would you like to come? Perhaps you can help me tell her a bedtime story or something."

"I'm fine, thank you." Replied Luna with a smile, "I... Must watch over the night and see to the ponies' dreams to make sure no Nightmares are around."

"Suit yourself." He said with a shrug of indifference. He turned and strolled away, saying to the filly in his arms, "It's time for your trip to dreamland, my little one!"

Luna started to trot aimlessly around the castle, like she always did at night. She acknowledged the night guards respectfully, feeling tired and worn out.

Maybe I can just lie down for a moment, then I'll return to my duties, She thought to herself.

She backtracked, making her way towards her room. On the way, she passed the guest bedroom (which had originally been Discord's room), but she stopped abruptedly and peeked into the room. Apparently, Screwball had chosen this as her room, for Discord had taken her into it and laid her down upon the bed. The Draconequus was busy pulling the blankets up on the filly and tucking her in.

"As snug as a bug in a rug!" The spirit joked. He kneeled down next to the bedside, a stack of books suddenly appearing beside him, "Now tell me, my dearest. What story would you like me to read to you tonight?"

"What about the one with the Two Boring Princesses and the Very Handsome King?" Screwball suggested.

"Ah! One of my favorites." Discord made all the books disappear, leaving only one. He picked it up, turning to the first page. Luna scrunched her nose, noticing that the two princesses on the cover of the book looked very similar to her and her sister.

"Once upon a time," Began Discord, "There were two very boring princesses. The first one, Princess Trollestia was more boring than the other because she was older, and had more experience with being boring. The second one, Princess Lumad wasn't as bad, but she was still pretty boring. Not to mention, she liked to shout at the top of her voice for no paticular reason."

Screwball seemed very interested in the story. Luna was interested because it sounded as though Discord was making fun of her and she wanted to see what he had to say.

"One day, however, Trollestia and Lumad got angry, because they were pointlessly fighting over a piece of cake. Lumad got so angry that she suddenly turned into a giant, evil cow, who was named Princess Umad."

Luna expected for the story to take a random turn. Discord was, after all, more random than any other pony in Equestria.

Screwball giggled, "I like when Lumad turns into Umad the evil cow! It's always funny!"

"Anyways, Umad cursed the land to eat butterflies and poop rainbows for the rest of their lives," Continued Discord, now reading the book upside down, "Of course, super-dull Trollestia couldn't allow something as interesting as that to happen. So she turned Umad into a cake and promptly ate her."

Luna was unamused.

"Luckily, however, a very very handsome, and when I say handsome, I mean really handsome king from a nearby land saved the ponies from Trollestia's tyranny. His name was King Cordis, ruler of handsomeness."

Luna rolled her eyes.

"He turned Trollestia into an ugly piece of pie and ate her, even though she tasted like dirty socks. The ponies hailed King Cordis as their new ruler, as he spread the happiness of randomness through the land of Bestria. Then, Nicholas Hayge exploded, and everything was happy. The end."

Screwball clapped her little hooves, giggling with childish delight, "King Cordis is a lot like you, daddy! He doesn't like boring princesses and he's really handsome, just like you!"

"Ah...You wouldn't believe how much we do have in common."

Luna in the meantime was still trying to figure out the exploding Nicholas Hayge thing. She continued to watch as Discord put the book away.

"Now, it's time for you to sleep." Said the spirit. He leaned down, pushing Screwball's mane aside as he kissed her on the forehead, "Sweet dreams, my little one. I'll be in the room just nextdoor if you need me."

"Okay," The filly yawned, her eyelids growing visibly heavier, "Goodnight daddy."

Luna quickly teleported herself to her own room so Discord wouldn't suspect that she had been eavesdropping on them. She pretended to be asleep when he passed by her room, then quickly sat back up again.

Luna had a hard time believing that Discord could be so kind. He wasn't his usual, jocular, senseless self when he was with Screwball. He was much more responsible, and surprisingly, very fatherly. It seemed as though he truly did love Screwball, which surprised Luna even more, since he practically hated everyone. The Princess couldn't be too sure. The spirit could have just been putting on an act to make himself look better. But then again, Screwball seemed to think the world of the Draconequus, and she wouldn't do so if he neglected her.

Luna scolded herself not to judge so quickly. She had only seen the two together and how they acted for a little bit of time. She decided not to worry about it, but to continue to see if Discord truly was worthy of having a child in his custody.

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't.

With the thoughts racing through her head, Luna jumped out of bed, perched on the window seal, spread her wings, and took flight into the night, humming quietly under her breath as she did.