Author's notes: I got Flora to play a bit of a role in this one as well. Besides that, not much has changed. Anyway, I really like this one because all the jokes in this story hit, well, Bullseyes. (Pinkie Pie comedy drums) Anyway, here we go.

Bullseyes

Narrator: Now as all may know by now, Toby and Flora, the tram engines, has cowcatchers and sideplates. These are to help to prevent animals from getting hurt if they stray onto the line, which is sometimes problematic on the tramway line leading up to Ffarquhar/Anopha quarry. Daisy thought that Toby's and Flora's fenders were silly.

Daisy: You're afraid of getting hurt yourself!

Toby: We are not!

Daisy: You are! I've not got stupid cowcatchers, but I'm not frightened!

Applejack: What in tarnation?! These here side plates don't mean they are frighten, it's just the way they were built and for good darn reasons too! What if an animal were to come across our path? There aren't any fences along the tramway, it just runs along the road.

Flora: And if the farmers were to be herding cows, a stray cow could run onto the line. That's what they're needed for.

Daisy: Oh really? Pah hahahaha! You need them because your frightened. As for me, I just 'Toot!' and they all move out of the way.

Toby: But they don't Daisy! Barring our friends from Equestria, our sudrian animals are sometimes unpredictable and you never know what they do.

Flora: Indeed. Our pony friends would't do that, but the Sudrian animals might. That's the entire point!

Applejack: Thank you kindly Toby and Flora, and I can certainly can vouch for you 2 as well. And to be fair, from experience of being farm girl back home in Equestria even some critters that I work with sometimes get bit antsy sometimes and sometimes do unpredictable things as well.

Fluttershy: Not to mention I am also an expert on animals. Sometimes, they can be a bit skittish and run away from those who they aren't use to. Sometimes, they can also attack if your not careful.

Daisy: Well maybe not for you! You 2 have just got silly little bells.

Applejack: Now what in the hay is that suppose to mean?

Daisy: Well there's hardly anything frightening about that, now is there farm girl! (Singing) The great stupid trams go dingaling aling!

Toby: First, we do have whistles!

Flora: Second, there's nothing wrong with our bells!

Daisy: Well, animals always run if you toot and look them straight in the eye.

Toby/Applejack/Flora/Fluttershy: ( doubtfully) Even Bulls?

Daisy: Yes, even bulls. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take my passengers. Oh, and don't forget to tell Percy and Pinkie Pie about that van, or that milk is going to spoil!

Narrator: Of course Daisy had never met a bull before, but she purred away feeling quite smug and unconcerned.

Miss Ravens: Hmph. Famous last words….

Narrator: At the level crossings, cars waited behind gates to let her pass. She tooted at farm crossing, and a horse and cart halted to let her go by.

Daisy: I told those old barns on wheels that I just a single toot and they all stand aside. Poor little Toby and Flora, I am sorry they are frightened.

Fancy Pants: Begging your pardon, but you better be careful what you say. You're starting to push your luck.

Fleur Di Les: Indeed. You need to be more sensible, my dear.

Daisy: Oh darlings, I know what I'm talking about.

Narrator: At Troyreck station, a police constable whom had came from Dryaw what was waiting with urgent news.

Dryaw Constable: There's a bull on the goods line near Dryaw. Please drive it along towards Farmer Crowe. I shall come and help too.

Narrator: Daisy was excited.

Daisy: At last, I can now show Toby and Flora how to manage bulls. A good toot and stern look in the eye and he'll be on his way.

Narrator: The, bull whose name was Champion wasn't really a fierce bull but this morning he was very cross and uncooperative. Farmer Crowe and his neighbour Farmer Sam had driven him away before he could finish breakfast, and then they had tried to put him into a cattle float.

Farmer Crowe: Come on now Champion. Get along!

Farmer Sam: Come on now Champion! Please get in there!

Narrator: They pulled and pushed him.

Farmer Crowe: Okay then! The time for action is now. Sam, get that whip!

Narrator: They prodded and slapped him with whips.

Farmer Crowe: That's it Sam, put your back into it!

Farmer Sam: Get on Champion!

Narrator: But the bull just kicked Sam into puddle.

(Champion mule kicks sam the farmer)

Farmer Sam: (Wilhelm scream lands in puddle) Guah! Now that wasn't nice now Champion!

Farmer Crowe: That' does it! Time to call in the big guns!

Narrator: Farmer Crowe ran back telephoned for help, and the help soon arrived.

?: Alright what seems to be the problem here?

Narrator: The farmers told them and paid him his fee currency taxes and all and he set to work.

Iron Will: Alright then. Just leave this to old Iron Will!

Narrator: Iron will walked up to champion.

Iron Will: Hey cousin Champion! Cousin Iron Will here has heard you won't get into the cattle float!

Farmer Sam: Wait a minute? (Record scratch) Your cousin?

Iron Will: That's right! In the culture of the bull. It is said that all bull's are family, Equestrian or not and this here happens to be my Sodor cousin Champion. Ehhh, even if Iron Will and cousin Champion aren't related, we're like uh… non biological brothers, sisters and Cousins!

Farmer Crowe: Oh that makes sense actually, eh, sort of….

Iron Will: WAS THAT INSULT TO GREAT IRON WILL?!

Farmer Crowe: (Scared) Uh no no no no! Mr. Iron will Sir… We just need to research it a bit more to learn more. (knees shaking)

Iron Will: That's what I thought you said. Now anyway, back to family business at hand.

Narrator: Iron will turned back to Champion.

Iron will: Alright Cousin Champion! Cousin Iron Will is going to give 3 seconds to get into cattle float! Before cousin Iron Will blows his fuse! ONE! TWO! THRE…..

Narrator: He got no further as Champion snorted and charged his non biological equestrian cousin and trotted quickly down the road.

Iron Will: THAT'S IT! YOU DONE RATTLED IRON WILL'S CAGE!

Narrator: And with much fury and rage, Iron Will chased after Champion. Champion saw him and started galloping into a sprint down the road.

Iron Will: HEY! YOU GET BACK HERE COUSIN CHAMPION! NO SODOR COUSIN OF IRON WILL MAKES A FOOL OUT OF COUSIN IRON WILL!

Narrator: He then saw a sign. Danger! Railway below! Don't jump this fence! And to his anger, Champion changed to fear.

Iron Will: NO WAIT, COUSIN CHAMPION, STOP! THERES A RAILWAY BELOW!

Narrator: But too late, Champion saw the fence charged it crashed through it and slithered down the slope. Champion was surprised, this was a new kind of field, it had a brown and iron track at the bottom but there was plenty grass on each side and he was still hungry and began eating his breakfast again.

Iron will: Hey cousin Champion? Are you alright?

Narrator: Champion nodded.

Iron Will: Oh thank fuses you're alright cousin. Say, Iron Will wants to know you did you ran off like that?

Champion: ( converstaiton) moomooomoommmooo.

Iron Will: What did cousin Champion say? Cousin Iron Will is still learning 1ST generation bull?

Narrator; Just then Pinkie rushed in and brought a subtitle box in for Iron Will to translate what Champion was saying. Thank you so much Pinkie Pie, cause I really needed to get this story moving.

Pinkie Pie: No problem miss narrator!

Narrator: And she ran off.

Iron Will: Uh….okay back to the story now. Now why did you runaway again from cousin Iron Will like that? Didn't you remember the bulls honour code 1?

Champion: Moo mooo moo mooo (Translated) Of course I remember code one cousin Iron Will. Bulls never hurt or attack one another.

Iron Will: Now do you remember bulls honour code 2?

Champion: Moo moo moo moo moo! (translated) Discipline for bulls is a diplomatic sit down and the same goes for cows. You only physically punish non bull creatures if necessary.

Iron Will: That's right. And now Bulls honour code 3. What do you have to say after harming a member of bull brother hood.

Champion: Moo moo moo moo (translated) I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I was just scared you were going to hurt me.

Iron Will: Awe. Cousin Champion should never be afraid of Cousin Iron Will. Cousin Iron Will's grunts are worse than his charges… well at least not us bulls.

Champion: Moo moo mooo ! (Translated) Hahahahahaha. That's a good one cousin Iron Will. So anyway, to make a long story short, those farmers took me away from my breakfast.

Iron Will: Nooo! They didn't?!

Champion (sad) moo moo moo moo. ( Translated) They sure did! And started whipping me too.

Iron Will: (enraged) THEY DID WHAT TO IRON WILL'S COUSIN CHAMPION?!

Champion: (sad) Moo moo moo moo! (Translated) That's why I ran and I thought you were going to do the same.

Iron Will: I see. Cousin Champion, would you excuse cousin Iron Will for a second. Cousin Iron Will will be back.

Champion: (Confused) Moo…moo..? (translated) uh…. Alright?

Iron Will: Thanks, cousin Champion.

Narrator: and he walked away back to the farmers.

Farmers: Oh hey Iron Will. Did you find Champ…. Uh why are you looking at us like that? Uh…. We paid you the right fee didn't we…. why are you looking at us like your gonna…

Iron Will: NO ONE HURTS IRON' WILL'S COUSIN CHAMPION WITH A WHIP AND THINKS THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!

Farmer Crowe: Uh.. Sam, do you think we should start running right now?

Farmer Sam: Oh yeah, he's mad.

Narrator: Farmer Crowe and Farmer Sam all took off running screaming like girls… uh, no offence to girls reading this, as a furious Iron Will chased them down the road.

IRON WILL: YOU TWO GET BACK HERE! NO ONE HURTS IRON WILLS FAMILY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

Farmers: (running) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Champion: Moo moo moo moo? (translated) What the heck's going on up there?

Narrator: Farmer Crowe and Farmer Sam ran as fast as they could but were cornered at the same fence Champion crashed through. Iron Will picked them up by the scruff of the necks. Both farmers were on the edge of tears.

Farmers: Ooh please let us go please. Mr. Iron Will Sir, We won't do it again. Maybe we can cut a….

Narrator: With an all mighty swing Iron Will threw the two farmers down towards the railway line.

Farmers: GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ( landing on ground) OOFF!

Narrator: Iron will then through the payment back at them.

Iron Will: YOUR MONEY IS NO GOOD TO IRON WILL! HAVE YOUR REFUND! IRON WILL QUITS!

Narrator: Iron Will then checked his watch.

Iron Will: Well Cousin Champion, Iron Will needs to get back to Equestria. Iron Will has as an assertive class at 4:00.

Champion: Moo Moo…. moo moo. ( translated) Sure thing Cus… and thanks again!

Iron Will: Any time cousin Champion Cousin. Iron Will always has your back.

Narrator: And then he headed back to Equestria. Just then, Daisy arrived. She tooted at Champion to get his attention.

Daisy: TOO! TOOT! Go on! Go on! old boy!

Narrator: Champion had his back to her and was too busy eating to pay attention to the tooting.

Daisy: TOOT! TOOT! Go On old boy! Go On!

Narrator: But Champion still took noticed and went on grazing.

Daisy: (Groaning) This is all wrong! How can I look him straight in the eye if he won't turn round.

Mr. Roberts: What do I look like, a farmer? I don't know anything about bulls!

Daisy: OY! YOU! BULL!

Narrrator: With a loud toot of her horn, Champion finally turned round.

Champion: MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Narrator: Champion still chewing walked towards her. He had never seen anything like her before and wondered what she was. Daisy tried tooting again, but it was no use.

Daisy: oh oh my! Why doesn't he just runaway? I've looked him in the eye and tooted my horn.

Champion: MMMMOOOO!

Daisy: Hey guys. Did he just tell me to move?

Mr. Holden/Twilight/Mr. Roberts: HOW THE HECK SHOULD WE KNOW?!

Mr. Holden: We don't speak bull, cow…

Mr. Roberts: Or cattle… Four legged…

Twilight Sparkle: Uh…or is it… Quadrille legged… uggghhhhh Whatever!

Mr. Holden: Look, the point is, we don't know what he's saying!

Daisy: Oh funny though that. You humans can understand what these multi coloured horses are saying let alone what I'm say and what these smelly steam engines can sa…

Twilight/Mr. Holden/Mr. Roberts: DAISY! SHUT UP!

Narrator: Champion grunted again.

Daisy: NO! IT'S YOU THAT HAS TO MOVE!

Farmer Crowe: Ugh… This pantomime comedy sketch is just too painful to watch. I'm gonna get the cattle float down to the level crossing.

Fancy Pants: I say old bean, what seems to be the problem?

Mr. Roberts: Ugh! It's that dumb bull right there is not moving!

Twilight: If I'm late, Princess Celestia might have me go back to….(gulp) magic kindergarten…. or worse….

Twilight/Roberts: Ticket duties again….

Mr. Roberts: Me and Twilight can tell you that that is not fun at all because you old ladies going like. (Mocking old lady) 'Oh I don't know how many pounds it cost to get, where do I need to be?' And we're like 'No shut up! I don't know where you're going!'

Twilight: Look, just calm down Mr. Roberts. Take a deep breath, that's what I did to remind myself that I won't be sent back another grade.

Fleur Di Les: Hmm I'll go fetch the constable. I say constable! Constable! Um could be so kind as to help us move this bull please.

Dryaw Constable: Not at all miss Di Les.

Narrator: The Guard and the Constable tried to shoo him away but he would stay shooed. As soon as they turned away, he came back to Daisy. Mr. Holden and Twilight Sparkle found it a great joke. He was absolutely fascinated by her.

Mr. Holden: Oh well now lookie here. It looks like you've made a new friend Daisy. (Snickering)

Twilight: hehehehehheh…. Oh yes, I think he likes you. Just wait till he gets to know you. I think he'll change his mind.

Daisy: Well, the feeling is hardly mutual, I can tell you that!

Mr. Roberts: Oh come on Daisy. He's harmless.

Twilight: Yeah, he's not gonna bite.

Daisy: Yes you three know he's harmless, and I know he's harmless, but does he know? I mean, look at his horns. If I bumped into him he might hurt m… err I mean… Farmer Crowe wouldn't like that.

Narrator: Champion came up close and sniffed at Daisy as Mr. Holden Twilight Sparkle, Mr. Roberts, the policemen Fleur Di Les and Fancy Pants all burst into laughter.

Mr .Roberts: Oh I don't think he likes you, Daisy I think he loves you.

Daisy: OOOOHH! HOW CAN BULL LOVE A DIESEL RAIL CAR!

Twilight: How should we know? Heheheheheh.

Mr. Holden: Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh I wish I had my film camera.

Fancy Pants: Hahahaha oh do say this very rich indeed.

Fleur Di Les: Oh if only we had something cherish the moment hahahahahaha.

(Pinkie runs up)

Pinkie pie: Here's your film camera and popcorn all around!

Mr. Holden: Oh Pinkie Pie, you are my hero! Say I wonder if Rainbow Dash is off today?

Narrator: 2 seconds later

Rainbow Dash: ( Laughing hard that tears run down her cheeks) BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAEHAHA! OH Daisy, this just too funny!

Pinkie Pie: Hahahahehehehehehahahahrhehehe

Twilight: heheheheheheheh

Mr. Roberts: HAHAHAEHEHEHEHAAHA! Say do you think Rarity is off?

Narrator: 1 second later.

Rarity: hehehahaahahaha! Too Rich! Hehahahahaha

Rainbow Dash: ( Laughing hard that tears run down her cheeks) BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAEHAHA!

Pinkie Pie: Hahahahehehehehehahahahrhehehe:

Mr. Roberts: HAHAHAEHEHEHEHAAHA!

Pinkie Pie: Hahahahehehehehehahahahrhehehe:

Mr. Holden: HAHAHAEHEHEHEHAAHA! This great stuff. Say any of you ponies got friends to bring round?

Narrator: 3 seconds later.

Spike: THIS IS HILARIOUS! Hehehehehahaha! When Daisy and the Bull greatest motion picture comedy of the year.

Spitfire: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh holy Cloudsdale this is way too rich!

Soarin: HAHAHAHAEHEHHEHAHAHA! Oh this definitely saves a trip to the theatre and apple pie.

Rarity: Hehehahaahahaha! Too Rich! Hehahahahaha

Rainbow Dash: ( Laughing hard that tears run down her cheeks) BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAEHAHA!

Pinkie Pie: Hahahahehehehehehahahahrhehehe:

Mr. Roberts: HAHAHAEHEHEHEHAAHA!

Mr. Holden/Mr. Roberts/Rainbow dash: No No No No No, Come on Champion. Go for the bogie wheels! Go for the bogie wheels! Go go go go go! hahahahahaha Who's a good bull! Who's a good Bull! BAHAHAHAHAHAEHEHEHEHAAHA!

Daisy: OOOOOH! Don't be so vulgar! I refuse to try and reason with this animal.

Mr. Holden: Heheheheheh… Say pinkie you got any…

Pinkie Pie: Sorry. I'm all out of time cards.

Daisy: Get him away from me, NOW!

Mr. Roberts: Alright! Alright, we're only kidding. Just shut up Daisy, your voice is more piercing than glass shattering.

Mr. Holden: Oh before we go, I need a drip of your oil for you to sign this waver because it is not gonna be our fault that we're late. It is gonna be your buffers on the line not mine, now, then where's that dip stick.

Pinkie Pie: Well better get back to Percy.

Rarity: See you later dears, thanks for the wonderful show. I better get to James. Can't wait to see you're new silent movie, Daisy and the Bull. Perhaps it will top your other comedy with Diesel and Gilda.

Rainbow Dash: Heheheh. Same here. Better get back to Dryaw for practice with Spitfire and Soarin'. I'll make sure to get Fluttershy to help out with Champion. She's at Dryaw too with Flora, Fiona and Elsie.

Spitfire/Soarin: Same here, gotta fly.

Spike: Bertie is waiting at the crossing gates too. Later…

Narrator: As you can imagine, after everyone left, barring the passengers, Daisy had had enough and back away to the station. Toby, Miss Ravens and Applejack were surprised to see Daisy back at Troyreck station along with Fluttershy, Flora, Fiona and Elsie so soon. Fancy Pants and Fleur Di Les told them about champion.

Mr. Holden: I even got it all film. I call this silent comedy short Daisy and the Bull.

Narrator: Toby, Miss Ravens and Applejack just laughed.

Applejack: You know, I thought I was under the impression that you knew how to handle bulls there Daisy. Heheheheheh.

Toby: Bulls always run if you toot and look them straight in the eye, eh Daisy?

Flora: Oh, that's priceless Toby! Hahahahaha!

Narrator: Daisy said nothing.

Toby: Ah well. We all live and learn don't we Applejack?

Applejack: We sure do Toby we sure do.

Toby: Well, we'd better chase him for you I then.

Fancy Pants: Oh jolly good Toby and Flora old beans. Good luck!

Miss Ravens: Oh thank you Fancy Pants. We'll have him shoo'd away in no time

Narrator: Toby and Flora clanked away to find Champion after Fiona and Elsie were put into the sidings. Champion took no notice of Toby's and Flora's bells or whistles either. But Toby, Flora, Applejack and Fluttershy were smart. Champion didn't move until Toby and Flora whooshed steam at him, Fluttershy gave him the stare. Then with the aid of their cowcatchers, the tram engines gently shoo'd Champion to where farmer Sam and Farmer Crowe were waiting for them. Applejack with her Dog Winona helped the farmers herd him into the cattle float, then Fluttershy soothed his hurt feelings before being driven away. Daisy had an exhausting day. Toby, Percy and Flora often passed her, and though they never mentioned bulls they gave her pitying looks. It made her so cross. Her last journey ended at the top station at Ffarquhar. She was so glad that she could now got to her shed and rest they day away, but not after one last insult. Some boys were and colts were on the platform with Pinkie Pie. Then one boy came running up to her with a paper back.

Boy: Oy look Daisy! I got me a free quarter of bulls eyes.

Colt: Same here and they're a new recipe from Pinkie Pie. She's gonna introduce them to the Cakes family and see if they're interested.

Boy: I think they're super, don't you?

Mr. Holden: I never tried one before. Lad do you mind handing us a few?

Pinkie Pie: I can share some of mine. I have loads of them!

Mr. Holden: Ah thanks pinkie pie.

Narrator: The boys and colts shared the sweets with themselves, Twilight, Mr. Roberts, Mr. Holden, Fancy Pants and Fleur Di Les and they all sucked happily.

Mr. Holden: Oh wow! These are good… mines' Mare lade!

Twilight: Wow same here, these are delicious. Mines chocolate!

Mr. Roberts: Oh boy. I've got Peppermint!

Fancy Pants: Oh I say, how delicious! Raspberry! My favorite!

Fleur Di Les: Oh my word, strawberry! Your right, they are super.

Narrator: But Daisy was furious.

Daisy: OOOOOOH! KEEP YOUR OLD BULLS EYES!

Narrator: Mr. Holden backed her into her shed.

Pinkie pie: I think she doesn't like bulls eyes.

Narrator: Back at Knapford hotel, the ponies, Mr. Hawkins, Mr. Roberts and Miss Ravens were waiting in the rec room. They were all seated in a row of chairs that Mr. Roberts setup for them when Mr. Holden brought in his projector and put a film real in turned off the lights.

Mr. Holden: And now my friends, I give the greatest silent comedy since Diesel and Gilda's stupid idea made in 1957, this a tale of love intrigue, and a certain diesel railcar and bull named Champion. I give, you Daisy and the bull.

Narrator: Mr. Holden switched on the machine hurried over to piano and started playing 12th street rag. Everyone laughed and laughed. And at the end of the film everyone and everypony applauded. And then retired to bed.

Mr. Holden: (Sighing happily) Payback, thy name is William James Holden.

That is really funny. Just wait for part 4. Keep your eyes open for that.