Author's notes: I really like this one. This story, at least in original production, was the 1st appearance of 'Oddball'. I also like the song in this episode too.

Break Van

Narrator: The Fat controller and Princess Celestia scolded both engines

Celestia: Me and Sir Charles Topham Hatt are most displeased with the pair of you.

Fat Controller: How long did you think you two could get away with this tomfoolery to lie to me and Princess Celestia. This behaviour is not acceptable at all. I am a fair man, always have been and always will be.

Celestia: And I am very fair mare and always shall be. So Sir Charles Topham Hatt and I have decide to grant you another chance.

Fat Controller: But there must be no more tricks from either of you. Celestia and I shall be watching you both like hawks. We have to decide which of you will stay and which of you will go. Good day.

Narrator: They strode away. The twins looked glum. Neither wanted to stay without the other, even if it meant they'd both be sent home and scrapped. They said themselves.

Douglas: Och we'e sae sorry we got ye fuir intae thes mess. If ah hadnae shunted 'at coach in th' wrang place we wooldnae be in thes mess. And ye wooldnae be in trouble.

Mr. Holden: It's alright you two. We knew you guys didn't mean it.

Big Macintosh: Eeeeyup! All's good.

Donald: But th' tender switch. 'at was…

Braeburn: To tell the apple truth, if I was in your situation, I would have done the same thing.

Donald and Douglas: Huh?

Miss Ravens: After hearing about your predicament we wouldn't dream of blaming you. We promise to keep this a secret from both Princess Celestia and The Fat Controller and we haven't told them anything. Not even to the other engines.

Big Mac/Braeburn/Mr. Holden/Miss Ravens: Don't worry Douglas. Your secret is safe with us and we will protect you both with our lives.

Narrator: Donald and Douglas were touched by this.

Donald: Och thank ye all. That means a lot to us.

Douglas: Then what are we tae do?

Donald: Och, each main be as guid as th' other. 'en they'll hae tae keep us baith.

Braeburn: That's the best idea ever. If they see that you two work really well together, then they'll see that they need both y'all.

Big Macintosh: Eeeeyup! We're with you both all the way.

Mr. Holden: You can count on us Donald and Douglas

Miss Ravens: Same here, we aren't going to let any engine be cut up at all.

Narrator: There plan was good but they'd reckoned without a spiteful brake van. There was a new Brake Van in the yard that had come from the Former north eastern railway. But unlike most brake vans, this one had no more soul than the troublesome trucks. He was rude, incredibly impolite, and disrespectful to the engines. The Van had taken an immediate dislike to Douglas, Braeburn and Miss Ravens,

Spiteful Brake van: Hey trucks. You know, I really don't that Douglas engine….

Trucks: Heheheheh so what do ya have in mind eh boss?

Spiteful: Well now I'm glad you asked me that mah boys. Heres the plan. Whenever that scotty boy Douglas has to take us out, we'll hold back, derail, run hot axle boxes, the works. But we can't wreck him… Yet.. And if anyone asks, we'll put the blame on him.

Trucks: Your very sly boss.

Narrator: The van was as bad as his word. Things always went wrong when Douglas had to take him out, then his trains were late and he was blamed. Douglas began to worry.

Spiteful brake van: Well, well, well? what have we here? Douglas the brave, huh? Oh I'm so scared! So you and your brother are the engines we've heard being scolded now heheheh… Your joking, your joking! I can't believe my eyes! Your joking me. Ya gotta be, this can't be the engine to spite. He's ancient! He's ugly! I don't know which is worse. I might just crack a board beam now if I don't die laughin foist! (Singing) When mr. Spiteful brake van says theres trouble on the rails, you'd better pay attention now cause I'm the brake van! And if your wheels aren't shaken then there's some really wrong! Cause this maybe the last time you hear the brake van's song ooooh!

Trucks: (singing) OOOOH!

Spiteful brake van: (singing) ooohhooo!

Trucks: (Singing) Ooooh oooh!

Spiteful brake van: Whoahoo!

Trucks: (singing) Whoahoo! (singing with the spiteful brake van) He's the spiteful brake van!

Spiteful brake van: (Singing with trucks) I'm the spiteful brake van!

Spiteful brake van: (singing) Now if I'm feeling antsy and there's nothing much to do! I'm just make an engine crash into a ditch or field too. And don't know the one thing that will make it work out nice! A wrecked and damaged Douglas that's you now that'll look so nice!

Trucks: (singing) Whooaaoo!

Spiteful Brake van: ( SINGING) Whoooaaoo!

Trucks: (SINGING) Whooa!

Spiteful brake van: ( singing) WHHHOOOOOAAAA!

Trucks: (singing) Whoahoo!

Spiteful brake van: (singing) Ah yeah!

Trucks: (singing with the spiteful brake van) He's the spiteful brake van!

Spiteful brake van: (singing with trucks) I'm the spiteful brake van!

Douglas: Noo! Knock it aff. Noo. We'll aw pay th' dyer consequences!

Braeburn: We need to stay on track now, so please come to your sense!

Spiteful brake van: (Singing) Your joking! Your Joking! I can't believe my wheels! Will someone shut these fella's up! I'm drowning in my tears! It's funny We're laughing! You really are too much! Now without your permission I'm gonna do my stuff.

Douglas: Whit ur ye plannin' tae dae?

Spiteful brake van: I'm gonna do what I do best! Push him mah boys!

(Spiteful brake van and trucks surge forward )

Trucks: (SINGING) Oh on! and on and on!

(Solo)

Douglas: Oh nae! Not again! Whooaa!

(Douglas's reaches the bottom of the hill and his front wheels come of the rails.)

Spiteful Brake Van: (Singing) Ooooh The sound of crashin engines is music in the air, cause I'm the spiteful brake van and no I don't ride fair! It's much more fun! I must confess when an engine comes off the line, not me of course but you oh boy now that'll be just fine!

(After being rerailed Douglas continues on)

Douglas: Noo knock aff. Ur ye will hae tae answer fur thes heinoos act.

Spiteful Brake van: (singing) Oh Brother, your something! You put wheels in a spin! You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm The spiteful brake van and you ain't stayin here!

Spiteful brake van/trucks: AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Narrator: Later that day, Duck, Donald, Henry, Gordon, Sally and Bridget along with Mr. Hawkins, Mr. Holden, Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Flitter, Cloud Chaser and Fluttershy were resting at Tidmouth when they saw poor, tired and worn out Miss Ravens, Braeburn and Douglas panting into the goods platform.

Donald: Douggie! Whit in Glasgow's nam happened tae ye?

Douglas: Och Donald aam blumin knackerd, it's 'at brake van!

Rainbow Dash: Brake van? What Brake van?

Douglas: 'at grey a body over there! Every time ah tak' heem it, he aye playing tricks!

Braeburn: I know. We've been late 7 times and we've been getting blamed.

Miss Ravens: I'm so worried. Things aren't looking good at all.

Narrator: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, Applejack Mr. Holden, Mr. Hawkins, and Donald were very angry!

Rainbow Dash: Alright, that brake van has gone too far!

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Applejack: Nobody plays tricks on the apple family and gets away with it!

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Fluttershy: The Nerve of that Brake van! He shouldn't do that!

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Mr. Hawkins: Uh, Big Mac? Uh, mind you, but is eeyup all you can say, nothing against you.

Big Macintosh: Nnnooopppeee. It's alright. Others ponies often ask the same thing. heheheheh…

Mr. Holden: Well, Rainbow Dash is right! We need to put a stop to that horrid brake van once and for all!

Donald: 'at diz it! Dougie ye gang hae rest an' drink. Lae 'at devil ay brake van tae me, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Big Macintosh. We'll deal wi' 'at rotten bloke!

Narrator: in the yards, the brake van was basking in his glory when Fluttershy flew up to him crossly.

Spiteful brake van: Oh great, what do you want you cream and pink palooka!?

Fluttershy: Now you listen here, Mr. Brake Van!

Spiteful Brake van: Yeah! Yeah! Times is lateness so make it snappy sister!

Fluttershy: Now just because you're a brake van and made to protect trains does not give you the right to be a bully! You maybe important to the safety of trains but you do not, I repeat, you do NOT! HURT! MY! FRIENDS! You make any trouble buster, and I'll give you, the stare!

Spiteful brake van: (Sarcastic) Oh yeah. Ahh! So scared! Really, is that best you can do? I've heard more better threats made by Eddie G Robinson yah palooka!

Narrator: Then Applejack joined into the argument.

Applejack: Hold it right there Mr. Brake Van! I've heard you've been causin' a heap of trouble for my cousin Braeburn! You better watch your attitude right this instant!

Spiteful brake van: Ppff! Oh really, and what you gonna do, Cow Pony?

Applejack: That does it! I'm gonna tell Big Macintosh on you!

Spiteful Brake Van: Oh really, you gonna let your big bad brother do your fighten' for you, whimp!

Applejack: (under her breath) That's what you think.

Narrator: Then she walked away and then came back later with Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash and a very furious Donald.

Donald: Yer a muckle nuisance! It's to leave ye behind I be wantin!

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Spiteful Brake van: You can't, how are you gonna keep your trains under control without me? I'm essential. So tough luck, Scotty!

Donald: Och are ye! Ye're naethin' but a screechin' an' a noise when a's said an' done!

Rainbow Dash: Donald's right you hypocrite! You do more damage that you do good!

Spiteful Brake van: Ah cry me a river you multi coloured rainbow horse circus clown! And what you gonna do about it, eh?!

Rainbow dash: Oh you wanna do this the hard way?! Will do this the hard way!

Spiteful Brake van: AHAHAHAHAHA! Wow you really are a clown! You actually made funny!

Donald: Alrecht ye asked fur it!

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Narrator: Rainbow dash climbed into the cab and Donald was reversed far enough.

Spiteful Brake van: Pff! Oh seriously! I've got my brakes hard on…

Narrator: But he was wrong, Fluttershy secretly snuck in and unscrewed the brake handle in the van just enough to teach him a lesson without damaging him.

Donald: SPITE DOUGIE WILL YA! TAKE THAT!

Narrator: And Donald charged forward and gave the Van a fierce bump!

Spiteful Brake Van: OOW! OOOH! OOHH! OW! HEY MACK! THAT REALLY HURT MACK! Hey! You don't do that to trucks!...

Donald: Haud yer wheesht! There's mair comin' syne ye misbehave!

Narrator: Fluttershy gave him the stare. The Van was petrified.

Spiteful brake van: Uh, hey trucks um new plan um… It's seems that the heats on us. We'll have to keep it low I'm afraid, my boys and girls!

Narrator: The van behaved better after that ordeal. Douglas' trains were now punctual and the twins and ponies felt happier. Then Donald and Big Macintosh had an accident. He backed into siding. The rails were slippery, he couldn't stop in time and crashed through the buffers into the signal box which was located in the most impractical place. One minute, the signalman was sitting on the balcony the next he fell and landed in Donald's coal pile. He was most annoyed.

Signalman: YOU CLUMSY GREAT ENGINE! NOW YOU MUST STAY THERE! YOU'VE JAMMED MY POINTS! IT SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR SPOILING MY NICE NEW SIGNAL BOX!

Narrator: The Fat Controller and Princess Celestia were most annoyed too.

Fat Controller: I am most disappointed! I did not expect such… Such clumsiness from you!

Celestia: So am I. Me and Sir Charles Topham Hatt had decide to send Douglas back and keep you!

Donald: Am Sorry Sir and M'am…

Narrator: But he didn't say what he was sorry for. We know, don't we?

Fat Controller: I should think so too! You have upset my arrangements. It is most inconvenient!

Celestia: Now James and Rarity will have to help with the goods work whilst you have your tender mended.

Fat Controller: Yeah and out of my own wallet!

Fat Controller/Celestia: James and Rarity won't like that.

Narrator: Princess Celestia and the Fat Controller were right. James and Rarity grumbled dreadfully about extra goods work.

James: Goods work! Goods work! Goods work! Why did it have to be me?

Rarity: I know what you mean James. Why couldn't that little green pipsqueak Percy do this, or Douglas! It's all that clumsy Donald's fault!

James: Hmph! Darn right Rarity! Fancy him crashing into a signalbox of all things!

Rarity: Indeed. What a complete Scottish klutz! Hmph!

Mr. Holden: Oh put a lid on it!

Narrator: Douglas was chatting with Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Gordon, Henry, Fluttershy, Flitter, Cloud Chaser, Sally and Bridget at the yards when James stormed in with a goods train.

James: That idiot twin brother of yours Douglas, I swear!

Rarity: If we ever see that Donald, I'm gonna give him such an ear full!

Douglas: Yer right there, James'. Ony wan wad think, that Donal' had his accident on purrpose. But all the same I feel sorry for him, at least he didn't end up like that engine and pony with soome tar wagons.

Narrator: Gordon, Henry, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Flitter, Cloud Chaser, Sally and Bridget giggled and laughed!

James/Rarity: Shut up! That's not funny!

Narrator: Rarity and James hated being reminded of the tar wagon incident.

Douglas: Well! Well! Well! Surely James and Rarity, it wasnae you. You didne say.

James: Oooh… Come on Rarity. Get me out of here before I blow a safety valve!

Rarity: Already on it dear! Hmph!

Narrator: James didn't say, he just slouched sulkily away. He was sulky next morning and wouldn't steam properly. When at last he did start, he went to collect his trucks, he bumped them fiercely. The Spiteful brake van was on his train and he saw a chance to play tricks on James and Rarity and sniggered quietly.

Spiteful Brake Van: Heheheheheh… Hey look guys its James, and he's cross, We'll try to make him crosser still. Hold back boy's

Trucks: Hold back!

Oddball: No. Hold forward!

Trucks: How the heck do you hold forward?

Spiteful Brake van: Ah don't listen to that idiot. Just keep holdin back!

Oddball: Hey! I'm not an idiot.

James: Oy Rarity, Mr. Holden! I'm loosing speed.

Rarity: I don't believe it those horrible scruffy things are doing it again. Holding us back!

Mr. Holden: Hang in there James. We've tackled bad trucks before.

Narrator: James, Rarity and Mr. Holden did there best, but with the brake van against them, they all were extremely exhausted when they reached Edward's station. Luckily for them, Douglas was there with Miss Ravens and Braeburn. James pulled up next to them panting breathlessly.

Miss Ravens: My goodness Will! What happened?

Mr. Holden: The trucks are holding back and that Brake van is only making things worse.

James: He's right. Look Douglas, I'm so sorry I was cross with you but please could you help us up the hill? These trucks are playing tricks!

Rarity: And I'm sorry too Douglas. Please help us.

Douglas: Dinna fast yer self James and Rarity. I forgive yer. We'll show them trucks whose boss! Besides, I've gotta Score to settle with yon Spiteful Brake van too.

Braeburn: Same here. I'm with you too.

Miss Ravens: Of course, I'll help too.

Rarity: Oh, thank you darlings.

Mr. Holden: Oh god bless you both.

Narrator: As soon as James got his puff back Douglas coupled up behind the spiteful brake van, they both glared at each other.

Spiteful Brake van: Alright Douggie boy! If it's a battle you're lookin for, then bring it on!

Douglas: Famous las' words Brake Van!

Narrator: Soon the guards whistle blew and the green flag waved.

James: Come on! come on! Come ON!

Douglas: Get moving you! Get moving you! Yer really testin my patience!

Spiteful Brake van: Keep holdin back boys!

Narrator: Slowly but surely, the snorting engines forced the unwilling trucks and the spiteful brake van up the hill! Halfway up however, James was losing steam.

James: I can't do it! I can't do it! I'm sorry Douglas!

Douglas: Dinna fast yerself James. Leave it to me!

Rarity: Right Douglas. We'll keep our brakes off!

Douglas: Thank ye! Much Obliged Rarity!

Spiteful Brake Van: Hahahahaha! Keep holdin back boys! They're slow down! We've beaten them. Hahahaha! You can't beat me Doug! Now you know why no engines challenge the might of the spiteful brake van!

Douglas: Ye'll Never beat me! Ye muckle nuisance! Miss Ravens, give us full steam!

Miss Ravens: Righto Douglas!

Narrator: Miss Ravens opened the regulator wide open, Braeburn shovelled for dear life and Douglas push and puffed so fiercely that sparks flew from his funnel. The brake van was soon starting to feel funny as he was squeezed between Douglas and the trucks.

Spiteful brake van: Oooerrr! Hey trucks, mah boys and girls! I'm feelin a little sandwiched here, like a cheese sandwich uh…

Trucks: Hold back! Hold back! Don't worry boss. We ain't gonna let these chumps beat us!

Spiteful Brakevan: Uh heheh, yeah uh… That's the spirit my trucks but… would you guys mind taking 5 for bit.

Narrator: There was ominous creaking straining sound of wood. The Guard was anxious.

Guard: Easy Douglas! Easy. You're straining the van!

Spiteful brake van: Oh jumpin pesto sauce! I wish I never thought of this!

Trucks: Go on! Go on! Go on!

Spiteful brake van: Stop with the holding! Stop with the holding back! Make with the holding forwards!

Oddball: (sigh) you should have taken my advice, mr. Brake Van.

Spiteful Brake Van: Alright, you don't have to rub it in. Just please for the love of Marlon Brando, pleases. Go on! Go on! Ooooerrr! Make…..Sure….You… Avenge… Me….

Guard: Go steady! The Van's breaking!

Narrator: But it was too late. The guard jumped as the van collapsed.

Spiteful Brake van: GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Narrator: The van was in pieces but the guard landed safely by the side of the line. A few moments later, Princess Celestia and the fat controller arrived.

Fat Controller: I might have known it be Douglas.

Douglas: I'm sorry sir and Princess Celestia. Mebbe Ah was clumsy, but ah wooldnae be beaten by yer tricky van Sirr.

Celestia: Oh, so it was the brake van's fault now, was it? I see.

Narrator: Soon Edward and Fluttershy arrived with some workmen and workponies to clear up the mess.

Fluttershy: Please Sir and Princess Celestia, go easy on him… please. He was just trying his best to keep the train going…

Celestia/Fat Controller: Pardon?

Edward: Fluttershy is right sir and Malady. Douglas was grand. James had no steam left, but Douglas worked hard enough for three engines. I heard him all the way from my yard.

Big Macintosh: Eeeeyup! He worked harder than we did on cider season!

Fat Controller: (sigh) Two would have been enough. I want to be fair Douglas, I really admire your determination.

Celestia: Same goes for me, your determination to keep the train moving all on your own is commendable. But…

Fat Controller/Princess Celestia: (sigh) I don't know. I really don't know.

Narrator: The Fat Controller and Princess Celestia turned and walked thoughtfully away. They were making up their minds about something. But that's another story.

And that other story will be up next. Look out for 'The Deputation'.