Author's notes: I don't know how the signalman could have mistaken James' whistle for another engine, but I think it's because the signalman was half deaf. I added that in. Anyway, let's go.

Crossed Lines

Narrator: Most of the Fat Controllers famous engines and Princess Celestia's little Ponies have now accepted Diesels. All except James and Rarity. James the red engine was well known for his fiery temper and some insufferable arrogance. Rarity was also known for sometimes having tantrums and sharing James's arrogances as well. Out of all the steam engines on Sodor and all the ponies of Equestria, James and Rarity were the only engine and pony to still retain an insufferable prejudice against diesel engines. Whilst there were several diesel engines on the railway, James and Rarity had underling mistrust for all diesel engines even sometimes the ones they had known for years. Rarity and James had never really seen eye to eye with any diesel, and the recent visit from Old Stuck Up had made they're attitude go from bad to worse. One evening, Duck, Henry, Donald, Belle, Sally, Bridget, Murdoch, Hank, Gator and Hero were resting quietly in the sheds. Mr. Holden, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Mr. Roberts, Mr. Hoskins, Mr Thomson, Mr Hawkins, Big Macintosh, Blossomforth, Flitter, Cloud Chaser, Thunderlane, Miss Peachbottom, Toe Tapper and Mrs Harshwhinny we're just servicing the engines when James came puffing in with Rarity. Both of them in a flaming temper, with a very worn out Miss Ravens.

(James whistles)

Mr. Holden: (Groaning) Oh no! I know that whistle. Please don't tell it's…

Mr. Roberts: Unfortunately yes. It's them alright.

Mr Thomson: (Sighs) Here we go.

Mr Hawkins: Really?

Duck: Oh boy. Here comes trouble.

Belle/Sally/Bridget: Oh no.

Toe Tapper/Thunderlane/Mrs Harshwhinny: This should be interesting.

Blossomforth/Flitter/Cloud Chaser: Not again.

Hero/Hank/Murdoch/Gator: This isn't going to end well.

Henry: Oh no. They've got that look on their faces again..

Big Macintosh: (Worried) Eeeyup!

Pinkie Pie/Miss Peachbottom: Oh, no no no no no. Not good, not good, not good!

Donald: Och braces yer selfs lads and lasses! They're in rant mode again!

Mr Hoskins: (Gulp) Not again…

Narrator: James stopped right in his shed berth.

Miss Ravens: Hi everyone… oh! Got a headache.

Mr Holden: Rach, I'll get you some lemonade outside.

Miss Ravens: Oh, thanks Will.

Mr Hawkins: But right now, I think we'd better take cover.

Rest of drivers/all ponies barring Rarity: Good idea!

The drivers and ponies all ran out of the sheds taking cover. The engines hesitated and braced themselves.

Henry: uhhh ummm hi James.

Hank: Uhh Howdy Rarity.

Henry/Hank: How was your day today, uh alright I hope? (Nervous smile)

James and Rarity: (Furious) NO WE'RE JOLLY WELL NOT ALRIGHT THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Donald: Och figures.

James: It's those wretched Diesel on the other railway! trying to stir up trouble as usual.

Rarity: Correct! Hmph! Typical these other railways diesels! Nothing but rude arrogant ruffians!

Hero: (Sighs) Not this again.

James: I saw this diesel shunter at the yards at Burrow In Furness giving me and Rarity this dirty look. Then he has the audacity to shout his mouth at us saying how revolutionary he is and how out of date we are.

Rarity: It's sickening! And he is not even a proper engine.

Duck: (Thoughtful) Wait a minute. That's familiar?!

Pinkie Pie: Don't tell me it was that (Starts singing) Evil enchantr….

James: No Duck, Pinkie Pie. It was not him. Besides, we won't be seeing him again nor that grubby little lion bird thing friend of his. But the point is, Henry, Rarity and I were right and you were wrong.

Rarity: That's right admit it! Diesels are nothing but disgusting bad news!

Murdoch: Look true the are some bad diesels out there, but not are bad.

Henry: Indeed. Murdoch is is right. Not all of them are bad, some are alright. They're just mix traffic engines like you and like me.

James: Pah! Mixed up engines if you ask me! With two cabs and windows at each, end how can they even tell whether they're coming or going?

Rarity: I know. Such a frivolous of locomotive engineering!

James: Couldn't have put it better myself Rarity.

Belle: Well to be honest, Toby has two cabs and he gets on alright.

Sally: Yes, and so does Flora.

James: Toby and Flora are just little engines! But if an important engine like me didn't know which way to turn, where the railway come to?!

Narrator: James retired to the sheds and Rarity retired to Knapford Hotel. The rest of the ponies, the rest of the engines and the drivers all sighed with relief. The ponies and drivers came back in, Miss Ravens with a glass of lemonade.

Bridget: Thank goodness that's done and over with for now.

Gator: I can't stand it when they're like this.

Donald: Och, Aye there lad. Neither can I.

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup!

Applejack: I know what y'all mean. It's really annoying and

Henry: Yeah. Lets hope they've forgotten about this by tomorrow.

Narrator: Thankfully, James and Rarity had forgotten about the next day. Unfortunately for the other engines, drivers and ponies, the reason why they had forgotten caused them to be more conceited than ever. One day after pulling in with a goods train, the Fat Controller and Princess Celestia were waiting on the platform with important news. Henry was nearby with his slow goods

Fat Controller: Now James, Rarity, we have important news for you.

James: Oh really, what is it?

Fat controller: Gordon is away at Crovans Gate for an overhaul and Rainbow Dash is at Wonderbolt camp at Dryaw. I would like you, Rarity and Miss Ravens to pull the the WildNorWester.

Miss Ravens: Oh yes Sir and malady. Sure thing.

James: Aw thank you sir and malady.

Rarity: You want us to pull the WildNorWester? Oh thank you Princess Celestia and your lordship Sir.

Celestia: That's not all though. Since the diesel at Burrow in Furness has failed, you will be pulling the train to London.

James/Rarity: (Surprised and excited) London! Did you say we can pull the train to London Malady and Sir?

Celestia/Fat Controller: Indeed that is correct.

James: (Delighted) Oh thank you so much Sir and to you too malady!

Narrator: Rarity couldn't speak she fainted dead on the scene.

Fat Controller: That's a good engine and a good mare. Best of luck to you all.

Miss Ravens: Thank you Sir.

Narrator: And Princess Celestia and the Fat Controller walked away.

Mr. Holden: Well congratulations to you Rach. Don't forget to write.

Miss Ravens: Why thank you. Oh and don't worry Will. It'll only be for 2 day at London and then back to here. Heheh… you won't even know I'm gone.

Mr. Holden: Heheheh. I guess your right there.

Narrator: And the two friends exchanged hugs.

James: Well Henry and Applejack, I get to pull the WildNorWester this time.

Rarity: And we get to go to London too. So, ta ta my dear Henry and Applejack.

James: Enjoy your slow goods trains Henry. Look out London!

Rarity/James: Here we come!

Miss Ravens: Your really pushing it you 2.

Narrator: And they chortled away, leaving behind a very annoyed Henry and Applejack.

Henry: Ugh I tell you Applejack, those two are really starting to get on my nerves.

Applejack: Simmer down Henry. At least won't have to put up with James and Rarity for 2 days.

Narrator: Applejack was right, but two days later when James and Rarity did come home, they were more conceited than ever, much to the annoyance of Miss Ravens in particular. This was because there run to London had gone very smoothly, they had had their pictures taken many times and Princess Celestia and the Fat Controller had congratulated them. To make matters worse, they continued dishing out insults about diesels.

(James/Rarity talking to engines and ponies)

James/Rarity: Oh it what a wonderful time we had.

James: You should have seen me flashing through the countryside. Truly a sight to behold.

Rarity: Oh, and at London, the photographers were trying to push each other out of the way to get a glimpse at us.

James: Oh and of course we met that same diesel again when I stopped at Burrow in furness.

Duck: Oh no. Not again.

Rarity: Hey tried to insult us, but James soon shut him up, didn't you darling.

James: I sure did Rarity. oh you should have seen the look on his face when I whooshed out of the station.

Rarity: Hehehahahaha! Too rich hehehahahahaha!

James: Oh, and the Fat Controller and Princess Celestia congratulated us and said we were really reliable. That's me.

Rarity: And me. James did better than any diesel engine.

James: I'd like to see those to two cabbed freaks out do me and Rarity.

Rarity: Oh, well would look at the time. We better get over to our passenger train, the Tidmouth Thunderbird. Tata.

James: Bye!

Narrator: They set off.

Miss Ravens: You two are really pushing it!

Narrator: But James and Rarity took no notice. All the engines and the ponies agreed that James and Rarity were becoming much to boast and puffed up.

Belle: Ugh! They nearly sent me to sleep with they're bragging.

Big Macintosh: (Yawn) Eeeyup… James and Rarity are worse than ever.

Sally: Ugh! I know what you two mean.

Bridget: It's like they are trying to make out like they are royalty or something.

Henry: It's disgusting disgraceful and down right despicable!

Pinkie Pie: Hey, we have 5 D's now. Disgraceful, disgusting, despicable, degrading and down!

Hank: Ugh! This is Railway Series, not Sesame Street…

Pinkie Pie: Oh yeah. And My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic mixed in with the former, gotcha Hank.

Duck: Well, speaking of royalty, I once knew a Great Western GWR 6000 class 4-6-0 tender engine called King James. Up at Paddington. King James the first he was but he didn't swank about like that.

Donald: (Groan) Och, dinna be telling James. That it'll be more of a misery.

Gator: Got that right Donald!

Hero: Yeah, but whose going to bring them back down to earth?

Narrator: the engines, drivers and ponies all tried all sorts of ideas but it was no good. James and Rarity grew so conceited that the other engines and the ponies were often glad that they were away. Even the coaches tittered anxiously if they knew they were going to be pulled by him. But soon they're bubbles were going to burst. One day, they came to the station fuming with flaming rage.

James: Shunting! A splendid red engine like me having to shunt my own trucks! What cheek! Where are Donald, Douglas, Big Macintosh and Braeburn for jobs like that?!

Miss Ravens: They're busy with Mr. Hawkins and Mr. Roberts helping Edward, Fluttershy, Mr. Hoskins, Charlie and Rumble out on the Edward's branch line.

Rarity: What about Duck, Jinty and Pug.

Duck, Applejack, and Mr. Holden taking there morning passenger trains with Alice and Mirabel, and Jinty, Flash Sentry, Pug and Sliver Shill are at Tidmouth Harbor. Quit griping and lets just get over and done with.

Narrator: James' goods train had a long strange flat trucks with dip in between that have boogie wheels at each end. These are called well wagons and are used to carry cars, tractors and other bits of machinery, sometimes even narrow gauge engines. The shunting should have been easy, but James was cross and bumped the trucks.

James: Alright you horrid lot. Don't even dare give me any trouble or you'll be in it.

Trucks: We'll give him trouble! It's time to bring down they're well arrogance.

Narrator: The trucks were as bad as their word. Some of them slipped their brakes on to spite James. The weather was damp and misty so the shunting took even longer.

Miss Ravens: Alright, just two more to go.

Rarity: Well this isn't going to be easy with all this mist.

Miss Ravens: Don't worry. I told the signalman that we'll whistle when we're ready.

Narrator: Unfortunately, they were almost finished when they heard Belle who just departed with The Bluebird Of Knaphord with Blossomforth. The signalman, who was half deaf, heard it too and thought it was James signalling that he was ready. The signalman had set the points. But James wasn't ready. They were shunting the last trucks the points switched underneath one of the trucks before it had crossed over one bogie went one way the other was diverted over to the main line.

Rarity: (Screaming) MISS RAVENS! STOP! ONE OF THE TRUCKS IS GOING HORIZONTAL!

Miss Ravens: Oh good lord! The signals in our path! BRAKES! BRAKES!

Narrator: Miss Ravens braked hard, but it was too late. They smacked into the signal which crashed onto the line just missing James.

Miss Ravens: Oh dear. That's torn it! The Fat controller and Princess Celestia aren't gonna be pleased. It's gonna cost a lot to repair too.

Narrator: Indeed they were not. They spoke severely to the signalman about it because the signal was important and it's loss was inconvenient. James, Rarity and Miss Ravens knew that the accident wasn't they're fault and so did Princess Celestia and the Fat Controller. In the end, trains needed to be flagged down in and out of Tidmouth. Later that night, James was very quiet at TIdmouth Sheds and the others were relieved and so were the ponies and drivers at tidmouth hotel, when Rarity kept unsually quiet.

Voice at hotel and sheds: I suppose it is difficult to know which way to go when you have two cabs, but to go two ways at one time with only one cab is truly something.

Narrator: Both Rarity and James shut their eyes and pretended not to hear.

'Fire Engine' is next. Ooh! You lot are going to be in for a good joke that atsf threw in there.