Author's notes: Heh, isn't that a funny title? Ok, in all seriousness though, this episode is quite a fun one indeed. Also, atsf has thrown in a little something extra at the end.

Tit For Tat

Narrator: One morning, the small railway engines were still fast asleep in the warm Sudrian sun when Mr. Hawkins and Mr. Holden along with the three little foals opened the door and woke the engines up.

Snips/Snails: Wakey wakey! Rise and shine sleepy wheels.

Narrator: Soon the engines were being cleaned and polished for the day. Bert, who was going out 1st, had a tall chimney in his funnel to draw up his fire. Rex yawned.

Rex: (Yawn) What? Is it that time already?

Mr. Hawkins: We've got visitors today.

Rex: (Yawns) That's nice.

Mike: (Grunts) We have them everyday.

Mr. Holden: But these are very special visitors. One takes moving pictures, and the other 2, write books like I do. So mind you all behave. Twist, I'm going to be joining them today so I need you to take over the up journey. Don't worry. I'll rejoin you on the down journey. Think you'll manage?

Twist : Oh yes Sir Mr. Holden.

Mr. Holden: Heheheh. That's a good filly.

Bert: I don't want to be a moving picture in a book. I want to stay as I am.

Narrator: Mike and Rex groaned at Bert's thick headedness.

Rex: Oh Bert, don't be so daft! 2 of these visitors are very highly acclaimed clergymen One takes moving pictures whilst the other writes about them. And other one is very well known and famous on Sodor like Mr. Hawkins and Mr. Holden. Like Mr. Holden said, she writes the same kind of books and even sometimes write history books.

Mike: Honestly Bert, you must really live in world of your own.

Bert: (Indignant) Oy! No I don't! (Ponders) but how do you get a picture to move anyway?

(Pinkie Pie dashes in with a trombone, plays trombone fail song and dashes back to Percy)

Rex: NO! THAT'S NOT IT!

Mike: UGH! YOU IDIOT!

Narrator: Snips and Snails laughed and laughed as Mr. Holden and Twist clambered into Bert's cab. Bert steamed off in a huff!

Twist: Never mind Bert. It just means that they will take a picture and put it in a book. You will still be on the railway and your same old self.

Bert: (A little doubtful) Yes Twist.

Narrator: At the bottom station at Arlesburgh, there were 3 people on the platform. 2 of them were the clergymen, one fat and the other thin and the other was a woman whom Mr. Holden knew very well. All 3 had cameras and so did Mr. Holden.

Mr. Holden: Oh Rachel. I'm so glad you've made it!

Miss Ravens: William! I'm glad to see you too.

Narrator: The two best friends exchanged a hug as the two clergymen smiled. Then they shook hands with Mr. Holden and Twist.

Bert: Oh. Who are they?

Narrator: Mr. Holden smiled broadly. He was ready to answer that question.

Mr. Holden: Bert, Twist, I'd like you to meet my friends. These two men are the clergymen whom record photographs and films of engines at work. This is Reverend Edwin Richard Boston.

Ted Boston: Hullo there Bert, Twist, but you call me Ted Boston,

Mr. Holden: This here is Mr. Reverend Wilbert Vere Awdry he writes the books about the railways here.

Wilbert Awdry: Hullo there. Heheh. yYu can me Mr. Awdry for short.

Mr. Holden: and this, is my very special childhood best friend forever and adoptive sister.

Miss Raven: Hullo. I'm Rachel.

Twist: (Jumps down from Bert) It's a pleaser to meet you all. I'm Twist. (Shakes her hoof with the peoples' hands in turn.)

Twist: The Small Controller and Princess Cadence say you can ride with me in the tender.

Teddy Boston: Oh. Thank you. Can we come later please? The sun is shining so nicely, and we want to take photographs.

Twist: Of course you can.

Teddy Boston: You look very smart Bert.

Wilbert Awdry: Indeed. Your paint work captures the sun beautifully.

Narrator: Bert grinned happily.

Bert: (Thinks) These visitors, do at least know how to speak to engines and ponies. (Puffs away, feeling happier.)

Twist: That must have cheered you up Bert.

Bert: Indeed so.

Mr. Holden: well guys see you at Arlesdale.

Bert/Twist: Sure thing. Bye Mr. Holden

Narrator: Finally the guards whistle blew. Whenever the line came near the road, level crossing, bridges, stations, there the 2 Clergyman, Miss Ravens and Mr. Holden were, squinting into their cameras and jotting down notes in there note books. But Bert found this to be rather upsetting.

Bert: Hmph. Look Twist, Mr. Holden and those people are watching us again.

Twist: No sweat Bert. They are just taking pictures. We told you earlier.

Bert: They might wave at an engine Twist.

Twist: They can't wave and get good pictures Bert. Calm down.

Bert: Why ever not? They have two hands after all. I think that they aren't being friendly at all. (Whistles) Poop-poop! Oh, there goes the car again.

Twist: They will be at the lane next.

Narrator: The lane is a side road. It runs for a short distance alongside the railway. There is no fence. It had rained hard in the night, there were puddles in the lane. Wibert sat in the car, Teddy, Miss Ravens and Mr Holden waited with their cameras.

Teddy: Got the pictures Rach and Will?

Mr Holden: Nipped it right in the bud sir.

Miss Ravens: Same here I have my friend. This railway is great. I wonder how the little engine named after me on the Skarloey Railway is doing.

Mr. Holden: Same here. I wonder how William's doing as well.

Narrator: Miss Ravens and Mr. Holden looked at each other and smiled.

Miss Ravens/Mr. Holden: Heheheheh fit as fiddle more likely.

Miss Ravens: Except that Rachel is still cross with Duck. (Sighs) If only we could tell them what really happened.

Mr Holden: Me too Rach.

Teddy: I'm sure she will forgive him soon. Oh. Wilbert's here. Time to go Rachel and William.

Narrator: They jumped into the car, and off they went, racing the train to the lane's end. Unluckily, as they passed Bert, went though a puddle.

Bert: Oy! Watch out for that… (Muddy water splashes Bert) Gauh! (Cough) Blargh! Ouch! I didn't expect cold water being splashed on me!

Narrator: The people didn't know of what happened, because they were already off to the station. The 4 people were waiting happily at the top station for the downward journey. Bert wasn't smiling. He was still complaining when he rolled into the last station and ran around his train.

Bert: (Furious) Guah! (sarcastic) Oh how courtesy of them! (Not sarcastic, but angry) Look at them smiling at me! THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE! They splashed me! They splashed me! Pictures indeed. I'm a nice picture, covered in mud! Guah! Disgraceful!

Twist: Oh dear. Bert, calm down. Please, it was probably an accident!

Bert: Say's you.

Narrator: Mr. Holden soon got ready to take over the controls.

Mr. Holden: I'm afraid that theres only room for one of you in the tender. After all, this is a miniature railway. Sorry about that. We can allow you 3 to swap positions along the way.

Wilbert: Oh no thank you Mr. Holden. Ted you can ride the whole journey if you'd like.

Miss Ravens: Yeah, we don't mind. Besides, I'll most likely get the chance to do so another time.

Ted: Ohm why thank you Wilbert and Rachel.

Narrator: He sizzled crossly while Teddy sat in his tender on the trip back.

Bert: (to self) What the devil?! I don't believe this! First they splash me, and now the thin clergymen doesn't want ride in my cab?! Hmph! Mr. Holden and Twist ought to not allow him, after what he's done. Hmph! Those two men call themselves clergymen?! They're nothing but hypocrites!

Narrator: Suddenly he stopped sizzling, let off steam and grinned cheekily.

Bert: Heheheheheh…. I know to pay fat one out! Ho ho yes it's lovely plan. I only wish the thin clergyman and that Miss Ravens were there, ah well they'll get they're fair shares as well. So will Mr. Holden for joining those hooligans! (sigh) Alright, the passengers might suffer the consequence of my of my plan of vengeance. But they should have thought of that before getting into open coaches. Heheheh.

Narrator: Soon they started they're down journey. Bert ran nicely till they reached the woods. The line climbed steeply here. Bert usually rushes the hill, this time, he deliberately dawdled.

Twist: Come on Mr. Holden, give him full steam.

Mr. Holden: Right. (Does so.)

Bert: (thinks) This is just what I wanted. (Shouts) Tit for tat! Tit for tat! Tit for tat!

Mr. Holden/Twist/Ted: WHAT THE DEVIL?!

Narrator: Rain soaked branches close overhead. Bert's blast shoot straight up, shaking them wildly. Showers of water fell on Teddy, Twist, Mr. Holden, the passengers, Miss Ravens and Wilbert.

Wilbert: OH DEAR! THAT'S COLD ALL OVER MY LAP!

Ted: Oh ahhh freezing! Why did I leave the umbrella in the ford, Anglia?

Twist: Oh my goodness! I wasn't expecting that.

Mr. Holden: OOOHH BERT! Knock it off! This is cold! Bbrrr… oh… OUCH ! GEEZE! Bert come on ouch! There's hail, yowuch! On these branches, gah! Ouch oochy! ouchy! Ooff oh ow! Ouch! .

Miss Ravens: OOH! Hey! What in Sodor's name is happening in… Ooooh oh goodness! That is cccoollddd! OUCH! OH Theres OUCH! Hail on these branch…es ouch oof ow yowch!

Narrator: The soaking did not stop till they had topped the rise, and steam could be reduced for the downward run. When they got to the station, the passengers, Twist, Mr. Holden, Ted Boston Wilbert Awdry, and Miss Ravens were soaked from head to toe. The small controller was waiting. He had heard what had happened and was very cross.

Small controller: So this your example of hospitality is?! You are naughty engine. I will not have rudeness to visitors. And look what you've done to poor Twist and Mr Holden

Bert: They splashed me sir. I only...

Small Controller: That's no excuse. I'm ashamed of you. To think that you swore to me that you yes you did on oath mind you. That you would carry out your duties without practical jokes on my policy of using convertible coaches just because they're cheap to build and buy! It makes me sick! You shall stay in the sheds for the rest of the day Bert. Rex can take the next passenger run. Now, go, get out of here and into the shed now.

Narrator: Mr. Holden drove a very sad and very sorry Bert into the sheds in disgrace.

Mr. Holden: (Sniffling) it's good thing we kept our camreas in bag. AAAAAAAAAHHHHCCCCOOOOOOO! (Sniffle) I'm so sorry about that sir.

Twist: (sniffle) Same here. We didn't mean to… AAHAHH….. AAAAAAAHHCCCCCCCCCCOO!

Small Controller: It's ok. You go and see Princess Cadence she'll take of your sneezes.

Twist/Mr. Holden: yes Sir.

Narrator: They walked off together. In the sheds, Bert felt sad and alone and very ashamed of what he had done. He now wished that he hadn't been so silly. He began to cry.

Bert: (Crying) I didn't mean any harm. I just wanted to pay them out for splashing me. How could I have been so petty and foolish?

Narrator: Just then, Miss Ravens, Mr. Holden and the two clergymen came into the sheds.

Wilbert: Um excuse me Bert, but Mr. Holden, Miss Ravens, Ted and I would like to apologise for today's events

Ted: Indeed. We had no idea that it was us that soaked you and we had no intention of splashing you at all.

Miss Ravens: As token of our apologises, we would like to help clean you up.

Bert: (Sighing happily) That feels so wonderful. I'm sorry too. I didn't realise you didn't mean to do it. I thought since you didn't wave and one of you didn't want to ride in me, I thought you didn't like me our anything.

Wilbert: oh bless you no my dear engine. We have an absolute respect for railways and trains. In fact, Miss Ravens, Mr. Holden and I plan to write books about you and your brothers, and I believe todays events we'll prove worth writing material.

Mr. Holden: Your absolutely right Mr. Awdry,

Miss Ravens: I agree and that's not all, I also plan to work with you two along side you and your brothers.

Bert: Really… Oh that's fantastic!

Narrator: Soon they were finished and they all said there goodbyes. They walked out. Ted drove Mr. Holden and Miss Ravens back to Arlesburgh hotel where they would be spending the night. Just then, Princess Cadence walked into the shed.

Cadence: Hullo Bert.

Bert: Oh dear. I'm sorry malady. I didn't realize they….

Cadence: Calm down Bert. It's alright. They explained they're side of the story and so did you and you all apologised for the incident. Well I think the important thing to understand is that sometimes when we misunderstand a situation. We often as not fail to understand the situation correctly and fully, which just goes to show as Twilight Sparkle once told me never judge book by its cover, which means somethings aren't always as we think them to be. Well, I'm very proud that you've learned lesson Bert.

Bert: Oh thank you your highness.

Cadence: Well I got home right now. The Crystal Empire can't rule itself you know. I'll see you tomorrow though. Goodnight Bert.

Bert: Goodnight your highness.

Narrator: She trotted away. Just then Rex and Mike returned to sheds to find Bert smiling.

Rex: Hey Bert. Your looking much happier.

Snails: Definitely. We saw 4 people come into sheds cleaning you

Mike: Aren't those the people you soaked?

Bert: Yeah, they were. To be honest thought, those visitors are nice. They came and said sorry, and I said sorry too. Then they cleaned me like driver and Twist does, they know lots about engines. Wilbert, Miss Rachel Ravens and Mr William Holden are writing about me in a book and Miss Ravens is volunteering to help out with our work. They promised to write about you too. Think of that.

Snips: Wow that is wonderful. We could use all the help we can get.

Bert: Yeah, you can say that again. Oh by the way, strange thing happened before I accidentally got the mud bath?

Snails: Really? What happened Bert?

Bert: Well….

(flashback)

Bert narrating: As I was fuming at Alresdale station about the incident, I over heard a voice. I told Twist about it, but she didn't hear it and I was furious about that.

Bert: (Furious) Guah! (sarcastic) Oh how courtesy of them! (Not sarcastic, but angry) Look at them smiling at me! THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE! They splashed me! They splashed me! Pictures indeed. I'm a nice picture, covered in mud! Guah! Disgraceful!

Twist: Oh dear. Bert, calm down. Please, it was probably an accident!

Bert: Say's you.

Voice: Mind your manners youngin'!

Bert: Who said that?

Voice: You shouldn't jump to conclusions before knowing the facts! That would never suit his grace.

Bert: Hey! Whoever you are, stop freaking me out!

Twist: Bert, who are you talking too?

Bert: I heard a voice. Did you?

Twist: No not really. You really need to calm down there Bert…

Bert: Ugh! Now Twist thinks I'm hearing things!

(Flashback ends)

Bert: That's what happened.

Narrator: But Rex, Mike, Snips and Snails all just laughed and told him not to be silly. Bert felt cross but managed to keep calm for the lesson he had learned today.

So, who do you think spoke to Bert? Take a wild guess. Anyway, 'Mike's Whistle' is next.