Author's notes: Ok then. Let's get this book started. I can see that atsf really likes this one, as he has been talking about it endlessly on DA during on of our discussions. The book in question is good, and this story is full of good Bill and Ben comedy, but I don't think any of the stories from this one are going to hit the top ten for me.

Dear Rachel Ravens, Mike Hawkins, James Roberts, and our new friend Mitch Thompson.

I say, those little brats Bill and Ben are the most shameless engines I've ever met. I meant to write this book about Main Line Engines, and give the twins a treat by letting them into the first story as well as give into the book as well to congratulate them on there promotion to work at the china clay line. This turned out to be really big mistake, I couldn't keep them in order! And before I knew it, they had crept into the other stories. To make matters worse, they even wanted me to change the book and make it about them and call it 'Bill and Ben, The Twin Engines'! I swear I was about ready to scream in agony.

But god bless Edward, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh and our new diesel friend, for all there help, we have been very firm with them. I am still calling it 'Main Line Engines' and it even straightened Scootaloo and Applebloom out too. That will serve Bill and Ben right for ragging poor Gordon and Rainbow Dash so disgracefully. But to be fair, both saddle tank engines still have a heart, unlike a diesel from the other railway. Anyway, here's what happened.

Your best friend forever

William James Holden.

PS: Uh oh! I've said it again. Cue Pinkie Pie in 3… 2… 1.

Pinkie Pie: He's an evil enchanter,
Who speaks evil banter…

Mr Holden: Dah! Stop…

The Diseasel

Narrator: Bill and Ben are tank engine twins who live and work at port near Edward's branchline at Brendam Docks. Both engines have 4 wheels, a tiny chimney and dome, and a small squat cab. They work with Mr. Roberts, Mr. Hawkins, Scootaloo and Applebloom whom had now proved that they are now able to work on the standard gauge railways. They are kept busy pulling trucks for ships at Brendam Harbour and for Edward to take to engines on the mainline. The trucks are full of China clay dug out from the nearby hills. China clay is important. It is used for making pottery, paper paints, plastics and many other things. Unfortunately, however, the young twin saddle tanks delight in tomfoolery and often as not Edward and Fluttershy finds himself having to keep them in order.

(One day, Edward finds the twin engines slacking off and not shunting the trucks)

Edward: OY! Bill and Ben, you two stop lazing about right this instant! There is plenty of work to be done and you are shirking and not doing it.

Fluttershy: That's right. You two better get working or I'll give you the stare.

Bill: Oh. Sorry Edward and Fluttershy.

Ben: Oh yes Edward and Fluttershy. We'll get right back to it.

Apple Bloom: Sorry about that Edward!

Scootaloo: They told us that we were on break.

Edward: It's alright. I know you and Apple Bloom had nothing to do with it.

(The twins scamper off)

Ben: (Whisper) Psst. Bill, your not really sorry are you?

Bill: (Whisper, hiding laughter) Heck, no.

Narrator: The two engines laughed and laughed whilst Scootaloo and Apple Bloom just scowled.

Scootaloo: Why you little brats! You nearly got us in trouble with the stare master!

Apple Bloom: That wasn't funny at all.

Bill: Well, maybe not you.

Ben: But to us, that was rich! You've should have seen the look on your faces.

Narrator: One day, they arranged some trucks and went away for more. When they returned, they found them all gone and were most surprised.

Bill: OY! What happened to our trucks!

Ben: Oy! You didn't lead us down to the wrong place, did ya?

Bill: I did not! This just happens to be the place where always leave. Port siding 1.

Ben: Ugh! Honestly, you just cannot trust trucks. One minute they are here, the next, poof, they're gone.

Bill: Or maybe they're hiding from us.

Ben: Oh, good theory Bill. Okay trucks, you can come out now.

Apple Bloom: Seriously… trucks can't move by themselves

Scootaloo: Besides, I doubt that you can hide trucks when there's nothing to hide them behind.

Bill: You know, maybe they vanished like magic.

Apple Bloom: Seriously….

Scootaloo: that's the most stupidest theory I've ever heard Bill.

Bill: Oy! My idea is not dumb Scootaloo!

Scootaloo: Is too!

Bill: Is not!

Apple Bloom: Is too!

Bill: is not!

Scootaloo: Is too!

Bill: Is not!

Apple Bloom: Is too!

Bill: There are unicorns here. One of them could have used magic to make them disappear.

Mr. Hawkins: (Sigh) come on Mr. Roberts, lets go and find our own theory. These two engines are clearly clueless.

Mr. Roberts: Yeah. I've had enough of this comedy routine.

Narrator: The two drivers walked over and examined a patch of left over oil on the rails from where trucks had been.

Mr. Hawkins: Ah ha! There's our culprit. That's a diesel.

Narrator: They wiped the rails clean so that the engines wouldn't slip.

Bill: It's a what'll?

Ben: They called it a dieseasel. I think?

Apple Bloom: I'm sorry, but what on earth is a dieseasel?

Ben: Come to think of it, I believe there's a notice about them in our shed.

Bill: Hmmm….. lets see. Ah yes, I remember. Coughs and sneezel's spread dieseasel's

Scootaloo: Oh! I think Ben means disease.

Bill: Oh yes. That must be what it is.

Scootaloo: But where did it come from?

Ben: hmmm…. I think I might by sniffing out the mystery. Well, who had a cough in his smokebox yesterday?

Bill: Well I did. But Mr. Hawkins cleaned, it didn't he?

Ben: But the dust made him sneezel, so there you are. It's your fault the dieseasel came and magic'ed our trucks away.

Bill: IT ISN'T !

Ben: IT IS!

Bill: IT ISN'T!

Ben: IT IS!

Mr. Hawkins/Mr. Roberts: Stop arguing you two,

Scootaloo: Yeah. Besides, we know you two didn't cause the dieseasel to happen.

Apple Bloom: Yeah, if anypony's responsible for bringing the dieseasel here, must have been Scootaloo. She was a coughin' and a sneezin' like crazy yesterday, so it musta been her.

Scootaloo: IS NOT!

Apple Bloom : IS TOO!

Scootaloo: IS NOT!

Apple Bloom: IS TOO!

Mr. Hawkins / Mr. Roberts: Now you two stop arguing!

Mr Hawkins: Now come on.

Mr Roberts: Lets go and rescue our trucks

Narrator: Bill, Ben and the two foals were horrified.

Bill: But the dieseasel will magic us away like the trucks

Ben: Well it's your fault that the dieseasel is here so you should go and save the trucks.

Apple Bloom: Yeah same goes to you Scootaloo, after all, you always are the bold and fearless.

Mr. Hawkins: Heheh, that's the thing Ben. We'll need you and Scootaloo as well.

Bill: Heheh yeah, and we should leave you there as bait and more likely he'll magic you and Scootaloo away.

Applebloom : heheheh good one Bill.

Ben: You wouldn't dare!

Bill: Oh yeah, try me.

Scootaloo: You wouldn't!

Applebloom: Heheheh maybe, maybe not?

Mr. Roberts: Heheheh, he won't magic us. We'll more likely magic him.

Bill: But how? We don't know anything about magic.

Scootaloo: Yeah. Pegasus ponies like me and earth ponies like Apple Bloom have passive forms of magic like manipulating the weather and making plants grow faster, but we don't have magic that we control with horns.

Mr. Roberts: Heheh, maybe. But it doesn't mean you can't do tricks.

Narrator: Mr. Roberts winked.

Mr. Roberts: Listen, he doesn't know that your twins so we'll take your names and numbers off and then this is what we'll do….(whispering)

Narrator: Mr. Roberts then told Bill, Ben Apple Bloom and Scootaloo the plan to trick the diese. Bill, Ben, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom chuckled and giggled with delight. They were looking forward to playing mischief and to get back at the diesel and rescue the trucks.

Ben: heheheheh. Sounds like the perfect plan.

Bill: Yeah. Sounds great. He won't know what hit him.

Scootaloo: I'm liking this idea.

Mr. Hawkins: Oh. I don't know about this. We could just show him and his driver the paper work and we can….

Ben: Oh come on! Have a little fun for once in your life time. Didn't Princess Celestia grant you immortality and eternal youth?

Mr Hawkins: Yeah, but…

Apple Bloom: Well then, what are waiting for? Come on. Lets go.

Mr. Hawkins: (Sigh) I'm gonna to regret this.

Narrator: so puffing hard the twins and the little foals and the two drivers set off on their journey to find the diesel. Creeping into Edwards yard they found the diesel on a siding with the missing trucks all 6 head behind plotting there next move and deciding whom would go first.

Ben: (Whisper) Alright Bill, you should go first. You started it.

Bill : (whisper) Oy! Did not start anything! You and Scootaloo should go first!

Apple Bloom: (Whisper) Yeah, since Scootaloo is the real cause.

Scootaloo: (Whisper) am not!

Apple Bloom: (Whisper) are too!

Mr. Hawkins: Oh be quiet you 4! Bill, Apple Bloom, we'll go first so suck it up!

Narrator: So Bill went boldly along side.

?: That's funny. It it sounds like steam puffing.

?: I say Big Macintosh, is that a steam engine I hear?

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup.

Narrator: Bill then stop right in front of the diesel on the points leading out to the mainline. The diesel looked up.

Bill: Hullo….

?: Do you mind?

Bill: Yes I do I want my trucks please.

?: Well then, go fetch some then?

Bill: Yes, but yours are the ones I want though. You'll have to give them back to me. Please.

Mr. Hawkins: That's right. You see, those trucks were actually for the tramp steamer that's suppose to be coming in on the night tide tonight.

?: I didn't hear any orders like that at all. We were told was to collect some trucks from Brendam harbour and then take them to Tidmouth station. Do you have the proper paper work?

Mr. Hawkins: Um yeah, right. Let me check…. Oh dear… uh heheheh …. Funny thing about that, um, I seemed to have forgotten it back at the mess hall at the docks.

?: Well sorry mate, but no paper work means no trucks.

Apple Bloom: But Mr. Hawkins is right you know, so um, if ya don't mind, could you give us our trucks back please, mr. Diesel sir.

?: What? How dare you! These are mine go away I have train to pull.

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup.

Bill: bbbb…

?: SCRAM!

Narrator : Bill pretended to be frightened.

Bill: (Fake crying) your nothing but a big bully! You just wait …you'll be sorry.

Narrator: Bill ran over the points ran back and hid behind the trucks on the other side. Big Macintosh had just gotten in and the diesel was just about to move out.

? : Hmph stupid idiotic tank engine….

Narrator: Then, Ben came forward, causing the diesel to stop suddenly to avoid crashing into him.

?: WHOA BIG MACINTOSH! STOP!

Ben: TRUCK STEALER!

?: WHOA! Whew. That was a close shave.

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup…

Narrator: Ben ran away too and Bill took his place. Each time, the diesel tried to start one of the twins would appear in front of him.

Apple Bloom: TRUCK THIEF!

Bill: TRUCK PLUNDERER!

Scootaloo: TRUCK ROBBER!

Ben: TRUCK PICK POCKETER!

Narrator: This went on.

Bill: I WANT MY TRUCKS BACK!

?: I TOLD YOU! FOR THE LAST TIME, THESE ARE MINE! NOW GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Narrator: And on….

Ben: GIVE ME MY TRUCKS!

?: YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!

Narrator: And on. Until the poor diesel's eyes nearly popped out of there sockets.

Apple Bloom: WHAT DO WE WANT!

Bill and Ben: TRUCKS!

Scootaloo: WHEN DO WE WANT THEM

Bill, Ben, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom: NOW!

?: STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP! Your making me giddy!

Narrator: The two engines gazed at him side by side. The diesel shut his eyes.

?: Are there two of you?

Bill and Ben: Yes. We're twins.

Narrator: The diesel opened his eyes and blinked.

?: I don't believe it. I must be seeing things.

Big Macintosh: Noope! Your not. I see them too and they both look exactly the same to me.

Apple Bloom: Big Macintosh? Is that you?

?: Wait a minute. Do you know this pony?

Apple Bloom: Well yeah. I know him. He's my big brother Big Macintosh. He works with me and Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville.

?: I-is this true Big Macintosh?

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup…

Narrator: The diesel groaned.

? : I might have known it.

?: Well this has been a been a very interesting and quite a comical start to the day.

Narrator: Just then Edward bustled in with Mr. Holden, Fluttershy and Applejack. Edward's yard was near Wellsworth which gave Applejack time to check up on how the new diesel was getting on with Big Macintosh and how Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were getting on too.

Edward: Ello ello ello. What's going on here then.

Bill/Ben: Uh oh! We're for it now.

Edward: Bill and Ben, I might have known it. What on earth are you two playing here we could hear the racket and the commotion all across the yards?

Fluttershy: Besides, your suppose to be at the china clay works.

Applejack: And why are you and your friend Scootaloo botherin' Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom.

Bill: We're not playing!

Apple Bloom: and we weren't botherin Big Macintosh!

Ben: We're rescuing our trucks!

Applejack: Now what in the hay is that suppose to mean?

Edward: What the devil is that suppose to mean? 'rescuing trucks'?

Bill: Well, we arranged some trucks for the tramper coming in on the night tide. When we came back, they were gone.

Ben: Even you don't come into our yard without asking and you only take the trucks we give you.

Mr. Holden: Yeah, and your point is?

Ben: This dieseasel didn't even ask. He just took the whole lot.

Scootaloo: That's right, and we were just helping them rescue their trucks.

Edward: Now come on! There is no cause to be rude. I'll have you two scallywags know, that this engine is a metropolitan vickers BR Class 28 Co-Bo Diesel-electric type 2.

Bill: So this means…

Ben: It means you didn't cause him to happen

Apple Bloom: Neither did you Scootaloo. He's not a dieseasel after all. He's a diesel.

?: Heheheh a diesel, yes. A dieseael, well I certainly hope not. heheheh…

Scootaloo/Bill: That means that all this time. (Angry) OY! YOU TRICKED US!

Bill: Mr. Hawkins' sneeze didn't cause the dieseael!

Scootaloo: and my cough didn't cause it either!

Ben: Well it didn't. After all, the notice did say.

Apple Bloom: Besides, it was funny.

Scootaloo: Why you….

Edward: AHEM! Don't you think you have something to say to our new friend?

Bill: Oh yes… GIVE US OUR TRUCKS BACK!

Fluttershy: (Gives the stare) NO BILL! BAD TANK ENGINE BILL! VERY BAD TANK ENGINE! What Edward meant was you owe him an apology for your rudeness. You have to give it buster!

Narrator: Fluttershy gave the twins and foals such a stare that all 4 felt abashed.

Bill/Ben: We're sorry, Mr. uh… uh…..

BoCo: Heheheh. Never mind. Just call me BoCo.

Scootaloo: Were sorry too about all this Mr. Boco.

Applebloom: Same here Mr. BoCo. We really didn't mean to cause any trouble with you and your driver here.

Mr. Holden: Oh, and here is the paper work about the trucks. I found at the mess hall and it was addressed to you.

Narrator: The Driver looked at the paper work.

Mr. Thompson: Oh! Well, that explains everything then. That's alright Apple Bloom, honest mistake that could have happened to anyone. Oh and by the way, my names Mitch Thompson. It was really nice to meet you. You and Scootaloo are alright in my books, how bout you Big Mac?

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup, just be careful with those engines in future. They can be a bit tricky.

Apple Bloom: You got it Big Mac.

BoCo: I'm sorry. I didn't understand about the trucks.

Edward: That's alright then .

Fluttershy: All's well that ends well…

Bill : NO IT ISN'T! HE….

Narrator: Before Bill could protest, Edward gave a great effort and at last mastered the art of the stare. He and Fluttershy gave Bill the biggest and most powerful stare in both Sudrian and Equestrian history combined. Bill felt as though his firebox dropped.

Edward: (Giving the stare) I said, 'That's alright then'….

Fluttershy: (Giving the stare ) And I said, 'All's well that ends well'….

Edward/Fluttershy: (Giving the stare) End of discussion, Bill…

Bill: (Gulp) Uh, yes Edward and Fluttershy… Um, your right. All's well that ends well.

Edward: Good, that's settled then. Now off you go you four. Fetch BoCo's trucks and then you can take this lot back to harbour for the boat.

Bill and Ben: Yes Edward, Fluttershy.

Scootaloo/Apple Bloom: Right away.

Narrator: They scampered off and Applejack went back to Henry's train. Fluttershy congratulated Edward.

Fluttershy: Well done Edward. You finally learned how to do the stare. Well done indeed.

Edward: Oh, why thank you Fluttershy. Besides, I had a very kind and good teacher too.

Fluttershy: (Giggle) Now, just remember to be careful not to abuse the stare Edward. You must only use the stare when someone's life is in danger or to maintain order, like you just did with Bill and Ben.

Edward: Right. Thank you Fluttershy. That was very important information you told me and I'm very glad you told me.

Fluttershy: Oh that's alright Edward.

Mr. Holden: Heheheh. Oh by the way, my name is William James Holden. Heheh, sorry about them. You'll have to excuse them Mitch, the two ponies are alright, they're just still learning about the standard gauge rules. I'm sorry to say that the same can't be said for the tank engines.

Mr. Thompson: Oh, that's alright William. Heheheh… Quite a comical start to the day.

Big Macintosh: Eeeyup…

BoCo: Quite the little scallywags they are. Heheheheh. A regular Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

Edward: I know what you mean. But don't worry. There's no real harm in them, but they're madding at times.

Narrator: BoCo chuckled.

BoCo: Madding is the word.

Narrator: Everyone chuckled.

There's part 1. Let's move onto part 2.