Well, I never thought something like this would happen. Honestly, I never thought I'd write in this journal ever again, since I felt like I'd pretty much acclimatized to living in this world called Equestria that still reminds me of something out of a vivid acid trip.

So I was wrong. Eventually I'll learn to stop taking things for granted. I mean, look what happened the first time? I lost the entire human race in the space of a three thousand year long second.

Anyhow, I shouldn't just write about shit you haven't heard about yet. So much happened between my last entry and now, so I might as well start from the beginning, so that I can take another look at it myself. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking.

Let's begin the morning after that damn party, shall we?

---

I wake with a start upon hearing a loud knocking on the door. Wait, what? Where am I? What's going on?

"Get up, bro, time for work!" a female voice shouts. Ugh, I'm so damn groggy...what in the hell did I do last night to make me so tired?

Memory hits me like a tidal wave. Oh...that's fucking right. That was my second night in this crazy ass psychedelic world called Equestria, filled with three different types of brightly colored ponies that preach friendship like it's some kind of religion.

No...it doesn't get any less stupid no matter how many times I say it.

"I'm up," I reply weakly to the voice, who I now recognize as Vinyl Scratch, a decent musician for whom I work. That reminds me...I was a party last night. Oh...shit. Those ponies are going to think I'm more inclined to be friends with them after that night, just because I got a little sugar high and acted hyper. And there's also the fact that I actually accepted Vinyl's offer to stay at her place, but not without rent. So essentially I'm a tenant that can leave whenever I want, and not a freeloader that spends his every moment in debt to his benefactor. That's not going to be me.

Never again.

I force myself out of bed, still feeling tired. I probably shouldn't have stayed up so late writing that fucking journal, but it feels really good to have all this crazy shit on paper. If anything, it'll make for one crazy story if I ever wake up from this nightmare.

Screw bathing. I'm heading to work on a farm, for fuck's sake, so there's no point. I'll just get sweaty and gross anyway. Oh yeah, my clothes are still filthy. I ignore how smelly they are and put them on anyway. My trusty rifle is resting against the desk, which I grab on my way out.

As for the journal...what do I do with this? Ah, fuck it. I'll just stash it in the drawer. If she looks at it, no big deal. There will just be one less pony in the world.

I walk down the stairs, holding the rifle over my shoulder for no particular reason other than it feels right and probably looks cool. I can smell something good cooking in the kitchen, which makes my stomach growl, but I ignore it. I'll eat after work, with the money that I earn myself...if I even have enough. If it's like eight right now, and we work until six, that will earn me ten bits, for a total of eleven. Huh, I like that. If I keep this up, I'll have enough money for the rent, some food, and maybe some spending money for myself.

"Morning, Seth," Vinyl grunts as she walks out of the kitchen. I suppress a chuckle at the state of her. Her mane is messier than usual, and her eyes are half shut. She must not be a morning per...fuck...morning pony. I'm never getting used to that. Anyway, she's also sipping out of a coffee mug, cementing that theory. She sniffs at me as I pass by. "Dude, those clothes stink."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed," I reply sarcastically, leaning against the wall. There's a clock above the fireplace. According to it, it's around seven thirty, meaning I got around five or six hours of sleep last night. No wonder I feel like shit.

"Either grab a new set or ditch them," Vinyl suggests, causing me to give her a surprised and slightly disgusted look. Ditch my clothes? Is she trying to come on to m...wait a minute, ponies don't usually wear clothes, so it must seem pretty odd that I do. When I don't reply, she continues. "Want some breakfast?"

"No. I need to get going," I tell her, pushing myself off of the wall. She watches me walk towards the door with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Bro, you need to eat," she warns me. I sigh and open the door, wincing as the beams of early sunrise shine down on me.

"Back off," I scoff, earning a frown from her. Just before I can leave, she stops me with a hoof, looking at me in concern. I return her look with a glare that clearly says I'm not in the mood for her shit.

"I'm just trying to look out for you. No need to be snippy," Vinyl admonishes me, and then I see her levitate something from behind the couch over to her. It looks like...huh, that must be the guitar strap she mentioned.

"Nobody asked you to," I shoot back, though I do take the strap when she offers it to me. She did order me to take it, after all, as much as I resent her for it.

"Take that to the Carousel Boutique when you get off of work. She'll fix that to your stick," Vinyl tells me with a sad look on her face. I nod and then walk out onto the streets, slamming the door shut.

I really wish I could get a haircut. I usually keep my hair shoulder-length, but that's only because I tend to it, using shampoo and conditioner to keep it that glossy black that I'm so fond of. Now that I don't have access to my usual hygiene materials, it's going to dry out and look like shit. I guess I can try the pony versions of hair care items, but I have no idea what that will do to me. Why am I writing about this? Don't judge me, man, I'm lamenting the loss of my perfect hair.

I have one bit left, so if I take the route through the town square, I should be able to get some breakfast from Carrot Top's stall. I got a good amount last time for only three bits, so I should be able to stave off the worst of my hunger until after work. Man, I miss my college's dining hall. Now that I think about it, that probably made a good defensive position when the Oppressed attacked...and there goes my mood. Dammit, brain, you have one job. ONE. JOB.

Carrot Top sees me coming only a few moments after I enter the square. I notice she still looks somewhat nervous by my appearance, so when I reach her, I take the same approach that I took last time.

"Welcome back to Golden Harvest Vegetables, sir! What can I get you today?" Carrot top greets me, stuttering a bit, but quickly getting over it. Points for not freaking out again, I guess. I make sure to stoop down to her level, smiling.

"Hey, could you tell me how many carrots I can get for just one bit?" I ask her politely, already fishing out the single bit I have left. As she thinks of a response, I gaze at the food she's got on sale, my mouth watering a bit. Her carrots are amazing, I can't help it. I guess there's something to be said for organic food after all. I doubt ponies have come up with pesticides or genetic engineering yet.

"I think I can give you eight carrots, sir," Carrot Top finally answers me, still looking a bit nervous. I try not to scowl. Get the fuck over it already. I'm being nice and everything, you skittish pony.

"Thank you," I say shortly, handing over the bit and taking my food. I take my leave away from her, letting my scowl show as I hear her relieved sigh behind me. Bitch, if I was going to hurt you, I would have done it already. I can't believe these fucking ponies are the apex predators. You don't have anything on us humans.

I eat the carrots as I trek down the path towards Sweet Apple Acres. Nothing really eventful happens, at least not until I look up into the sky.

There's a streak of rainbow soaring through the air, making flips and corkscrews at a speed I can hardly make out. It's very impressive, but that mare's ego is large enough as it is. I think I'll keep my opinions to myself there.

Ignoring her and hoping that she won't notice me, I continue on to the farm. I can see the entrance just ahead, and from the looks of it, my employer is already getting ready for work.

Applejack is standing in front of the house with a cart full of various foodstuffs. I think I can see some apples in barrels, as well as other foods that look like pies wrapped in saran wrap. Big MacIntosh is next to her, strapped into a cart like the one Applejack and I had used to gather apples yesterday. Lastly, I see Apple Bloom sitting down beside them, wearing a set of saddlebags filled with what looks like books.

"Seth! Good ta see ya agin. Ya ready fer work?" Applejack calls, trotting over to me with a grin. I avert my eyes, running a hand through my hair. Still not comfortable with anybody saying that it's good to see me.

"Yeah, whatever. Just give me something to do," I mutter. Work is easy. Work doesn't require me to talk. My flippant response doesn't seem to bother Applejack at all, which makes me wonder what does bother her.

"You got it, partner. Would ya mind takin' Apple Bloom to school for me this morning?" Applejack's request causes me to raise an eyebrow at her. I cross my arms, even as Apple Bloom looks between her sister and me in confusion.

"You've got to be kidding me. I came here to work, not play babysitter," I state flatly, even as Apple Bloom protests.

"Yeah, sis, I ain't no baby! I can git ta school on ma own!" I shoot the filly a glance. At least she's on my side in this.

"Ah understand that, but you kin consider this part o' yer work. Ah gotta deliver these aroun' town, so ah'm busy," Applejack explains, but I'm still not convinced. I don't understand why I can't just do what I did yesterday, with Big MacIntosh doing the bucking instead of her. When I point that out to her, she gives me a sheepish grin. "Well, ya see, ah also know ya won't go meetin' ponies unless yer gettin' paid for it, so ah do have an angle."

"I should have fucking figured. I refuse. I don't need to meet more ponies, and I certainly have no interest in meeting children. I hate kids!" I snap irritably, my spirits sinking. Here I thought I could just do my damn job and not deal with bullshit.

"Uh...there ain't no goats aroun' here," Applejack responds haltingly, causing me to slap my palm into my face and groan.

"I mean foals. Fucking...I'm never going to get used to this. Ponies as the apex race. This is just ridiculous," I keep muttering, hating every second of this life I'm now living. A sinking feeling pervades my mind as Applejack gains a devious expression.

"Well, ya can refuse but if ya do, ya won't get paid for today," she points out. I can feel the blood rushing to my face as my irritation gives way to anger. My hands clench into fists, and it takes every fiber of my willpower not to beat the lights out of this fucking pony.

"You..!" I snarl, but then I force myself to take a deep breath. She's still my boss. She can fire me if I start insulting her. Fuck you, Applejack. This isn't fair. It should be my choice whether or not I meet other ponies. I feel like every single damn pony is trying to force me to make friends, and it's getting on my nerves. I hated practically the entire human race, and these ponies are exactly like them. They just do a better job of hiding it.

"Fine. Don't think I'll forget this," I force out. Applejack's smile grows at my acquiescence, and then she gestures to Apple Bloom, who approaches me timidly. "Let's go."

"Have a good day, sugarcube!" Applejack calls after her sister as we leave the farm. Apple Bloom returns the sentiment, but a little bit more reserved. Seems she's reluctant to be alone with me. Finally, a pony with some fucking sense.

We walk in silence for a good five minutes, crossing the river and moving into the town itself, before something actually happens. "So...Mr. Rogers...are ya-" she begins.

"Shut up and keep walking," I cut across her with an iron hard voice. Apple Bloom falls silent for a moment, looking hurt.

"But how will ya find yer way to the schoolhouse?" she asks me curiously. Oh goddammit...fucking foals and their bullshit.

"Fine. Don't talk about anything else," I relent, but only slightly. It's better if I can alienate most of these ponies early on, or they'll think I'm worth knowing. I never liked it when a human would get too involved in my business, and I certainly don't like it when ponies do the same.

Apple Bloom obediently keeps quiet, unless it's to give me directions on where to go. However, this world seems to have it out for me, so our companionable silence only lasts for a short while before we're interrupted.

"Apple Bloom!" exclaims a young, high pitched voice. I turn my head to see another filly, this one a white unicorn with a curly pink and lavender mane and tail, running towards us from a nearby hill.

"Ignore her. We have places to..." I start, but Apple Bloom is already dashing to meet the other filly halfway. "...be. Goddamn fillies."

"Sweetie Belle! Good mornin'!" Apple Bloom cries back happily, and the two of them nuzzle one another lovingly. That...was a little cute. But the interference is still annoying. Besides, what kind of name is Sweetie Belle anyway?

Speaking of which, Sweetie Belle is looking at me now, looking curious. "Hey Apple Bloom," she says uncertainly. Trotting over to me, Sweetie Belle sniffs around me curiously, gazing up at me. She doesn't seem to notice how I'm glowering at her. "What is this thing?"

"This thing has a name," I snap at her. My voice causes Sweetie Belle to yelp and fall back on her haunches. "It's Seth Rogers. Now can you get lost so I can get this blasted filly to school?"

"Um...well...I'm g-going to school too," Sweetie Belle stammers, shocked by my speaking ability and my vehemence. "My sister is taking me...but she's being slow. Rarity!"

Oh, as if this day couldn't get any worse. Now I have to deal with that prissy stuck up mare from the party. I can already see her, with that perfectly styled mane that pisses me off for no good reason. At least she's not wearing that frilly dress from before.

"In due time, Sweetie Belle. Perfection can't be rushed, you see," Rarity answers with a smile, indicating her mane with a flourish. I can't help but facepalm, chuckling a bit. Ponies styling their hair. If that isn't the dumbest thing I've seen so far, I don't know what is.

Rarity stops when she sees me, her eyes narrowing. She adopts an expression of distaste. "Oh...it's you," she grumbles.

"You don't seem pleased to see me," I comment dryly, not really caring one way or another. The fillies are watching us in confusion, probably not realizing that we know one another.

"Of course not. How could a lady such as I enjoy the sight of such an ill-mannered ruffian?" Rarity huffs in response. That earns a scathing laugh from me. She tilts her head to one side. "Pardon, I seem to be missing the joke."

"The joke is that the miniature white horse thinks it's a lady," I choked out between laughs. This is just too great. Please do another flourish so I can laugh some more. Rarity's affronted look just makes me laugh even harder.

"Hey! Quit picking on my sister! She's the most elegant mare I know!" Sweetie Belle is actually the one that yells at me first, surprisingly enough. I stop laughing, transfixing the filly with a glare.

"Or what? Clearly you ponies don't know a predator when you see one," I say in a dangerously soft voice, and then I smile, revealing my canines. Sweetie Belle gulps and takes a step back, while Rarity steps in front of her protectively. I turn around, ignoring them both and nudging Apple Boom with my foot. "Let's get moving. I have shit to do today that doesn't involve taking fucking fillies to school."

"But...ah wanna be with Sweetie Belle..." Apple Bloom protests weakly, though she does follow me. Good, I don't want to drag her.

"You'll see her at school, and then I don't care what you do," I rebuff her uncaringly, turning down a different street to keep Rarity from following us. Thanks to Apple Bloom, I have a general idea of where I'm supposed to go, so I'm going to take the long route.

"You were so nice back at the house," Apple Bloom whispers, hanging her head as she follows me listlessly. "Did ah maybe...do somethin' wrong?

A twinge of guilt strikes me at how seemingly depressed I've made her. Dammit, this isn't what I wanted. I just wanted her to back off so she didn't think I was her friend. You know, I want her to hate me so she won't bother talking to me, for her own sake. Right now though, I think I screwed up. It looks like she's blaming herself for my being an ass to her. Dammit, having a conscience really sucks sometimes.

"No, Apple Bloom. You didn't do anything. I'm just an asshole, that's all. Don't bother with me," I admit with a sigh. Apple Bloom looks up in surprise and confusion.

"A what now?" she questions curiously. I facepalm. Right, she's still a filly. Well, I already knew I'm a terrible person.

"A guy who's not fun at all to be around," I reiterate with a deadpan expression. Apple Bloom makes a small sound of understanding, but she still doesn't look cheered up. Fuckin'...how do I do this? I would make a terrible parent. Finally, I have an idea, but I don't like it at all. Do children really like this? Because if they don't I'll feel really stupid. "Fuck it, come here."

Apple Bloom squeaks in surprise as I scoop her up in my arms. She doesn't weigh all that much, at least not compared to the rest of the shit I've carried recently. "You will not breathe a word of this to Applejack, you hear me?" I grumble to her as I drape her over me such that her front hooves are resting over my shoulder, and her back legs are hanging down my front. My right arm holds her up, while my left holds the rifle and strap. "Now just cheer up already."

"Whoa...this is really cool! Ah can see so much from here!" Apple Bloom exclaims as we walk through the streets towards the school. She's craning her head around excitedly, trying to see as much as she can.

The things I do to make myself feel better...

Soon, the schoolhouse comes into view. It looks...nothing like a school building I'm used to. Fuck, it looks like something out of the 1960s, being only a one room schoolhouse made of wood and plaster. It's colored bright red and white, and there's a heart motif over the windows, the doors, and on the back of the gently turning weather-vane at the top of the building, above the bell tower. Because a one room schoolhouse needs a fucking bell. Go figure.

There are a lot of fillies running around outside the building, more than likely having gotten there earlier than us. Ugh, I can see Rarity there. I went slow on purpose so she'd have enough time to get here and leave...but it seems I didn't give her enough time.

When Rarity sees me walking towards the school with Apple Bloom over my shoulder, she does a double take. I groan inwardly as I see her trotting up to me. I ignore her at first, instead lifting Apple Bloom off my shoulder and gently placing her on the ground. "We're here, Apple Bloom," I tell her, brushing loose pony fur off of my shoulder.

"Thanks, Mr. Rogers. You ain't so bad!" Apple Bloom expresses happily, and then to my shock, she nuzzles my leg.

"Of course I am. Didn't you hear me say so?" I remind her, but she doesn't seem very convinced.

"Eh, ah don't think ya really mean ta be," Apple Bloom responds, and then she meets Sweetie Belle, the two of them nuzzling one another, though I don't miss the worried look Sweetie sends my way.

"But...I...what?" I can only stammer at Apple Bloom's words. Of course I mean to be an asshole! But...fucking...these ponies don't make any sense.

"Ahem. Mr. Rogers, is it?" Rarity addressed me, gazing at me with an look I can't decipher.

"Call me Seth," I tell her, wondering what she wants now. I slide my free hand into my pocket.

"Yes, well. Seth, were you just carrying that filly?" she asks, causing me to shut my eyes and groan. I should have known this was coming. Why did I do that again?

"So what if I did? What does it matter to you?" I lash out defensively, averting my eyes. This is what I get for doing something nice. This is why I'm never nice.

"Hm. Perhaps there's more to you than I first suspected, darling," Rarity says with an ever so slight hint of surprise on her face. What? No, no, stop! Don't get interested...just back off, I'm an asshole who doesn't warrant your attention!

"Sure whatever. I'm going back to the farm now," I grunt, turning away from Rarity before she can spout more inane remarks.

"Aren't ya gonna come meet Miss Cheerilee?" Apple Bloom asks me in a pleading voice. I look at her, a harsh rebuttal forming on the tip of my tongue, but then I see the look she's giving me. Her lower lip is poking out ever so slightly, and her eyes are all wide and liquid.

"Ugh, fine! I'm so tired of this shit," I relent with bad grace. I curse quietly to myself as a much happier looking Apple Bloom leads me towards the school, Sweetie Belle following once Rarity bids her farewell. Can't believe I'm got suckered into this by some filly acting cute. This is the last time I'm giving in. The moment I get enough money to get a place of my own, I'm locking myself in there and never coming out. Good luck finding me then, you blasted ponies.

"Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle!" Another voice, female and rough, calls to us. Great, they're multiplying. This new filly is orange, and has a scruffy purple mane and tail. That has to be the weirdest color scheme ever. Those two colors just don't look good together, but here's a pony to prove my preconceptions of life completely wrong. Apparently that's par for the course in this fucked up world.

"Mornin' Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom calls to the orange filly, who seems to be another of her friends. The three of them gather together in a small circle and start whispering to one another. Finally, Scootaloo notices that I exist, and her eyes widen. As she opens her mouth to ask her questions, I beat her to it.

"I'm a human, named Seth Rogers. Yes, I talk, and no, I won't be your friend," I answer the unformed questions that I'm sure she's about to ask me. Judging by the shocked look on her face, I think I guessed right.

"Wow...I hadn't even asked anything yet. Are you psychic too?" Despite my questions, Scootaloo still found a way to ask me a question.

"Yes, I'm definitely psychic. I can read every thought running through that tiny little head of yours," I say sarcastically. It seems like she's taking me seriously, though if the way she's stepping away from me is any indication. I give a short sigh. "Of course I'm not fucking psychic. Don't be stupid."

"Oh...heh, I wasn't worried anyway," Scootaloo replies uncertainly. Well, that's a lie if I've ever seen one. Why don't you just hold up a sign that says, "LOOK AT ME, I'M AN OBVIOUS LIAR?" Might make it harder for me to figure you out. "So my name is Scootaloo. You're Seth, right?"

"I did just get through saying that," I point out irritably. Scootaloo gives me an angry stare.

"You know, you sound like Diamond Tiara," she accuses. I blink. What the fuck? Diamond tiara? What the hell does that mean? How can I sound like an inanimate object?

"Hush, Scoots. He's jus' different, is all. He's really a nice human," Apple Bloom intervenes, earning a scoff from me and an incredulous look from Scootaloo.

"Don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about," I tell Scootaloo, who nods in agreement. That's fine. At least this pony is willing enough to hate me. "Now where's this Cheerilee? I want to get back to work."

"Miss Cheerilee? She's just inside. Hurry up and go home already," Scootaloo tells me with a scowl. I actually grin at her words. It's about time somepony did the smart...did I really just write that? These ponies are influencing me. I'm half hoping something will kill me before that happens.

I walk into the school building, where some ponies are already inside and sitting at their desks. I notice that most of them are fillies, though there are a few colts, some of which look fucking ridiculous. All of them look up at my approach, including the fully grown mare standing behind a wooden desk.

"Oh. I heard that there was a human in town, but I didn't really believe it," the mare gasps, gazing at me in awe. She walks out from behind her desk so that I can see her clearly. Her fur is a dark raspberry color, but her mane and tail are two different shades of a light pink. For a butt tattoo, she's got three smiling flowers. Whatever the hell that means. "Would you care to tell me your name, sir?"

"I'm Seth Rogers, but I only want to be called Seth," I answer her, not sure what to make of her. She did treat me with some respect though, and that's enough for me not to automatically hate her.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Seth. My name is Cheerilee, and I am the teacher here. It's an honor for me to meet a real human." Cheerilee approaches me and holds out her hoof to me, clearly wanting to shake. Out of principle, I take her hoof, and unlike Applejack, she gives me one gentle shake and then releases me. "Welcome to Ponyville!"

"Thanks, I guess. I'd rather be back with others of my own kind, but apparently I'm the only one left," I admit, returning my hand back to my pocket. Cheerilee's eyes widen, and then soften as she gazes at me with pity in her eyes. I scoff and turn around. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are cantering in through the door just as I'm leaving. "I did what you wanted, Apple Bloom. I'm leaving now."

"Okay Mr. Rogers. Thanks for taking me to school today," the filly calls after me as I stride out the door, leaving the classroom and a very confused Cheerilee behind. I acknowledge Apple Bloom with a wave of my hand.

Just before I can get out of the premises, I run into two more fillies, who make it very clearly that they want to talk to me by positioning themselves right in front of me.

The first one is colored a light pink with a lavender and white mane and tail. Her eyes are a light blue, and she's wearing a...oh, so this must be Diamond Tiara, considering she's wearing one. The other pony is colored a delicate silver, with her mane and tail being an even lighter shade of gray.. This one...snrk...is wearing light blue glasses over her purple eyes (wtf?) and a necklace of...wow, those are pearls. So are these the resident rich kids?

"Why hello there! I couldn't help but notice you talking to those three blank flanks earlier," Diamond Tiara addresses me, speaking in an educated manner. Her voice is high pitched, but at least it's more tolerable than Pinkie's voice. "Are you, by any chance, friends of theirs?"

"Are you kidding me? Not in the slightest. I have no need for their friendship," I asserted, wondering what these two fillies want with me. I also wonder why they called Apple Bloom and her friends "blank flanks". Were they referring to the fact that neither of them had their butt tattoos yet?

Diamond Tiara beams at me. Apparently what I said was what she wanted to hear. "Excellent! I'm Diamond Tiara. I'm pleased to meet you," she proclaims, doing a weird little curtsy. "You know, Silver Spoon and I have always wanted to see what a real human looked like."

"Uh-huh. So you thought you'd come and stare at me?" I accuse, crossing my arms. "Well, that's tough. I'm not in the mood to be a zoo exhibit."

Diamond Tiara's smile becomes strained at that point, and I can see the disbelief in her eyes. I think I hit the nail on the head in my previous assessment of them. She doesn't seem like she's used to not getting what she wants.

"Are you sure you can't take a minute to talk with me?" she tries again after thinking for a bit.

"Pretty sure, thanks. I'm leaving now," I assert, turning on my heel and walking away. She doesn't give up so easily, however.

"You know, I think you should change your mind. My father is one of the richest ponies in Equestria," Diamond Tiara insists. That gets me to stop. That sounded suspiciously like a threat. I turn my head slightly and glare at her from one eye.

"What a fucking joke. Like I'm really going to submit to threats. I don't have anything to lose, so tell him to knock himself out,' I snap at her, and then without looking to see her reaction, I stalk away, glad to finally be on my way back to work.

Fucking Applejack, making me meet a bunch of ponies that I'll never care about. But of course, if I had refused her, it would have hurt me in the long run. Like, not being able to pay for my rent. Speaking of pain...why is it that I feel a strange sense of dread falling over me?

"My turn my turn MY TURN!" Wait, whose voice is tha...JESUS CHRIST! For a split second, I see a flash of pink cover my entire field of view, and then something rams into my shoulder like a battering ram, knocking me clear off my feet and onto my back. "Aw, you're supposed to hold me up, silly billy!"

"Pinkie...what the hell are you doing?!" I groan while looking up at the sky. I don't even need to look to know who it was on top of me. "Get the fuck off of me!"

I shove Pinkie aside, who squeaks and giggles in surprise as she falls over as well. "Sethie! I saw you carrying Apple Bloom and it looked really fun so I want to try it too, so can I try it please?" Pinkie spouts off, hopping back onto her four hooves and then proceeding to bounce up and down excitedly. I hoist myself to my feet again, my right eye twitching.

"Okay, first off, don't you ever call me 'Sethie' again. Secondly, Apple Bloom is a filly, and is more feasible for me to carry. Thirdly, why, oh god why, would you think I would be willing to do the same to you, of all ponies?!" I rave at her, my voice rising in volume to the point where the other ponies in the streets are starting to look over at us curiously.

"Oh, that's easy! It's because I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world! Come on, it'll be fun!" Pinkie doesn't seem fazed at all by how angry I sound. If anything, she's getting even more hype doff, judging by that huge smile on her face. How many times do I have to shoot them down before they realize I'm not worth the effort?

"No! How many times do I have to tell you fuckers?! You're not my best friend. You're not even my friend," I deny vehemently. Pinkie's smile drops and her ears flatten. I can see her open her mouth to reply, but I'm not done. "I don't consider any of the ponies here my friends, and I doubt I ever will. So the sooner you stop trying, the happier the both of us will feel. Am I clear?"

"Is it because I haven't thrown you a party yet? Because if so I'm really really sorry, and I can right on making one you'll enjoy, and-" Pinkie wails, but again, I don't let her finish. Nothing out of this mare's mouth will ever make sense.

"Would you shut up? No, I don't hate you because you haven't thrown me a party. I don't want a party. No, I hate you because you're wild, uncontrollable, annoying, and lastly, because I hate everyone. You're not special in that regard," I storm. I feel a bit guilty, because I know that this is probably one of my most vicious and personal tirades I've made so far, and it's working. Pinkie's expression is getting more and more distraught every second. Surprisingly enough, her mane and tail seems to have straightened out for some reason, the frizziness just smoothing out and disappearing.

"Why...why do you hate everypony, when we haven't done anything but try to be kind to you?" Pinkie whimpers, and I feel another pang of guilt when I notice tears squeezing out from her eyes and trickling down her cheeks. Holy shit, I drove her to tears. I think I may have gone too far to prove my point. There's no backing out now, though.

"That doesn't matter. What does matter, is that you and all of your little pony friends should just give up. I'm not worth your time and effort. Just pretend I don't exist, and we'll get along just fine," I answer her. Pinkie gazes at me for a few seconds longer in silence, and then she turns the other way and runs off, sniffing loudly.

I turn around back towards my destination, and notice that several ponies are staring at me with expressions of anger, sadness, and disapproval on their faces. "That was wholly unnecessary," one mare growls, actually daring to talk to me.

"Like I care," I scoff, shoving past them and continuing on my way.

I'm lying. I do care. I care a lot. I'm sorry I had to hurt her so much just to get her to give up, but I'm not sorry about what I accomplished. I can't make friends here. I just can't. Pinkie seems like the sort of personality I would have enjoyed associating with a long time ago, before my faith in humanity was crushed. I can't trust her now. And even if I could, I would still hold her at arms length.

I won't lose all of my friends again.

---

I am so sorry, Pinkie. I really wish I could give you special treatment, really I do, but that would be out of character for our "model citizen", Seth.

Anyhow, the next arc begins, and I got to introduce a bunch of characters to Seth that he hadn't met yet, but wasn't able to give them a lot of screen time. Sometimes it really sucks to write an asshole character, because then he never wants to spend time with anypony, so they don't get much development.

I wish I could draw. I would totally draw Seth, and then a picture of Seth carrying Apple Bloom over his shoulder. I enjoyed writing that scene so much :3