"Before we get started, where did you put your old clothes, darling?" Rarity asks me with a peculiar edge in her voice. I blink. That's the kind of tone my mother would use if she was about to uncover me doing something wrong.

"Uh...I threw them over by the stage," I tell her, indicating the pitiful looking pile of torn up clothes. A demonic gleam appears in her eyes and she lifts up the clothes with her magic. She marches across the room towards a door tucked behind the stage. "What exactly do you plan on doing with them?"

"I'm going to dispose of them. Such garments are not fit even for the likes of diamond dogs." I don't know what a diamond dog is, but with the way her nose is up in the air, I assume they aren't anything special. Hang on a moment, in those pants is my...

"Rarity, wait!" I call out in alarm as she passes through the door. I curse and follow her through the door and into a large kitchen. What the hell, is she going to burn them?

Rarity is standing in front of her oven, which is open and looks to be already heating up. Yep, she plans on burning them. "Whatever is the matter, darling? Surely you aren't that attached to these." She holds up the clothes.

"Not the clothes. It's what's in them. Give me the pants," I demand, stretching out my hand. Bemused, Rarity sends the torn remnants of my old jeans over to me with her magic. The rough cloth chafes painfully against my skin as I jam my hand in to the front pocket. My fingers feel the rough protective covering that's wrapped around my phone, which makes it easier for me to grasp and pull it out.

"What is that device?" Rarity questions me, watching as I pocket my phone in my new pants. Huh, if someone told me a month ago that I'd be asked by a ridiculous primped up pony to explain a smart phone to them, I'd probably have punched the fucker in the face.

"I don't feel like explaining it. It's as alien to you as magic is to me," I reply, disappointing her. "It's a useless brick now anyway, without electricity to power it."

"It needs electricity to work?" Rarity looks thoughtful, almost as if she's rolling an idea around in that head of hers. After I confirm with a nod, she smiles. "Why, you should go to Canterlot. Many ponies there have electricity of some kind."

"That's not the point. You can't just shoot electricity into this thing. You'll blow the circuits," I explain irritably.

"Perhaps not, but I'm sure somepony there will have the skills necessary to help you," Rarity insists. I can't really think of anything to say to that, so I just grunt instead. "Back to the matter at hand. Is there anything else of value in these pants?"

There's still my wallet and keys in there. I doubt I'll ever need them again, since my car and dorm are currently buried under several tons of earth, and the cash I have in there is useless. Ah, fuck it, I'd regret it if I let them burn.

After fishing them out, I give Rarity the go ahead. A devilish smirk appears on her face, and then she jams my old clothes into the oven and shuts the door. "And now, I have rid the world of fashion's worst crime," Rarity proclaims, looking entirely too satisfied with herself. I can't help but rub my forehead in exasperation. None of these ponies are anything close to normal.

When I look back up, I see that Rarity is looking at me...no, she's actually looking at my hair intently. "What?" I demand, taking a tentative step back.

"Why don't we do something about that mane of yours, darling?" Rarity suggests, following me. "After all, it's your most defining feature. It would be a tragedy if we let it deteriorate."

What. She wants to...it's my...what the fuck? "Absolutely not. Nopony touches my hair. Ever," I vow. "Besides, I don't even want to know what somepony like you would do to it."

"What do you mean, 'somepony like me?'" Rarity accuses, giving an offended scoff. "You don't think I keep my mane styled so fabulously merely through luck, do you?"

"Forgive me for not paying attention to the aesthetics of ponies," I say sarcastically, earning an exasperated expression from her.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Besides, it would be a crime against fashion not to let such a wonderful mane shine!" Rarity continues. Okay, now I feel gay. Yeah, I enjoy the fact that on a good day, my hair shines, but when she says it, it sounds really dumb.

"What if your damn hair products fuck up my hair?" I snap at her.

"Come now, I doubt it'll end up looking worse than a greasy mane. If you'll follow me?" What's up with this mare? It's like she's not listening to anything I have to say..

I watch her walk through the kitchen door and back into the hallway, but I hesitate. I won't lie, I'd kill to have my hair looking normal again, since it's been almost a week since it's had a proper wash. There's so much build up in my hair that it practically leaves residue on my hands whenever I touch it. That's fucking disgusting. Rarity was right about one thing. I did consider my hair my most defining physical characteristic. I'm surprised she picked up on that.

But I'm not sure I trust her to do it. Even back in my era, there was only one barber that I ever allowed to touch my hair, and that was only because she'd been doing it since I was born. Every other barber that got their hands on it fucked it up, and resulted in no payment from me.

"Come along now, Seth!" Rarity calls from the hallway. Goddammit...I guess she's right. It can't get much worse than it is right now.

Following her, I end up in a room that definitely looks like a hair salon. It's constructed a bit differently than the ones I've seen, because everything there is more suited for pony anatomy. Like, the vanities don't have that slot for the neck, because ponies can just fucking stick their heads in. The hair driers are also structured differently. Like, I can't even describe how the handles look, since they're designed to be held by hooves. I don't even.

Rarity once again shows off her creativity, as she's put together a makeshift chair for me to lie back on using a variety of cushions and other furniture. It looks like it's designed to seat me comfortably, while my head and hair is left to hang in one of the vanities. When she hears me walk in, she looks up and then gestures at the chair. "Wonderful! Do take a seat, darling. This shouldn't take but a few moments."

"What exactly are you going to do, anyway?" I inquire, but I do lay back on the chair. It's not that comfortable, since there's a bulge just under my back that's bugging me. Rarity's eyes glow at my question.

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked! First and foremost, I plan on washing your mane thoroughly to get rid of all that build up. Then I'll add in conditioner to add that shine back to it," Rarity describes for me, already gathering the materials she plans on using. Well, she sounds like she knows what she's doing. "Then I have a few stylistic choices in mind. Like, your mane is pretty long, so there..."

"Yeah no. I like it the way it is. Just clean it for me," I cut across her. Rarity looks put out.

"Well, you could do so much more with it...but I suppose it is your decision," she expresses hopefully, but when I say nothing else, she sighs. "All right. Lie still then, darling."

Resting my head back, I shut my eyes, like I always do whenever I'm getting my hair tended to. I shudder involuntarily when a jet of water strikes the back of my head. It's lukewarm water, so after the initial shock, it actually starts feeling relaxing as Rarity wets down the entirety of my hair.

The next sensations I feel are odd, to say the least. For example, I actually find out what a hoof feels like against my skin as she rubs some shampoo or whatever into my hair. It doesn't feel as hard as I expected. You know, from seeing horses and ponies in my era, those hooves look rough, but Rarity's actually feels somewhat soft. Despite that, I can still feel a bit of firmness in them. Also, the weirdest thing was I can feel portions of her hooves moving around to massage the shampoo into my very roots. How the hell does that work? Is that how they hold things with hooves? Man, evolution is fucked up.

"You know, you're not bad to look at. I think that given enough time, you'll make some lucky mare or stallion very happy," Rarity mentions off hand to me, and my eyes shoot open in surprise. Okay, what? Lyra's crazy, but now Rarity is saying it?

"Not you too," I groan, resisting the temptation to rub my forehead. On the bright side, she said it in such a way that it showed no romantic interest at all. Basically it was just a compliment. If Rarity had been a human girl and I had been interested, I probably would be raging because something like that screamed friend-zone. Since she's a pony and I'm not interested whatsoever, it comes as a relief.

"Whatever do you mean, darling? I'm merely stating my honest opinion," Rarity clucks, momentarily removing her hooves from my head. Then the jet of water hits my head again, and she starts massaging the shampoo out of my hair with her free hoof.

"You're ponies. How can you even consider someone of another species to be even remotely attractive? How the fuck do your sex drives even work?!" I blurted out, being particularly blunt in my phrasing. I can't see Rarity's expression, either, so I don't know how she feels about what I just said.

"Now, Seth, don't go reading too far into this. As a fashionista, I work with beauty, and as such I've learned to appreciate it where I can," Rarity explains. It almost feels like she's scolding me. "I've had the pleasure of seeing many species in my life, including griffons, minotaurs, diamond dogs, and dragons. The most similar to you is a minotaur, and to be honest, most of them are simply uncouth ruffians. Compared to a minotaur, you are much easier on the eyes."

"I can understand that reasoning, I guess," I admit, seeing the sense in her words. If minotaurs here are anything like they are in our mythology, then they're probably hideous. If she gives me a comparison like that, hell yes I'm better looking.

"Futhermore, interspecies relationships are accepted in Equestria, if you haven't already heard," Rarity reminds me.

"I did hear that."

"Then it shouldn't come as a surprise that some ponies have a taste for the...exotic," Rarity points out, just as she starts working conditioner into my hair. "You did say that Lyra showed some interest in you, if I remember correctly."

"Yeah."

"I doubt she was the only one," Rarity finishes. A sense of dread pervades me at her words. So there's other ponies at there that have been looking at me like...like that? Fucking hell...I really need to get my own place so I can avoid all these crazy ponies. Wanting to fuck a human...I mean really?

"Guess I should be a bit meaner then, to discourage that," I remark, much to Rarity's horror.

"Why ever would you do that? Having ponies appreciate the way you look is far from a bad thing. Like I said, I think you and a lucky mare or stallion would be very happy together," Rarity protests.

"I'm not having this conversation again. The answer is no. End of story," I avowed. Rarity is silent for a few moments.

"I see. Well then, I shall mind my own business, if that is what you desire." As much as I'm satisfied by that, Rarity's tone is short and clipped, to the point where I can tell she's not happy with me. Get the fuck over it. I'm not going to suddenly decide to fuck a pony simply because you think I'd be happy. On second thought, most of these ponies just expect me to assimilate into their society, despite two decades of human upbringing. I don't need love, which is basically just a sugarcoated word for sex, to be happy. I certainly don't need it from ponies. "I believe I am almost done. All that's left is to dry it."

"Good. I'm probably going to be late as it is," I grunt. Over the next few minutes, Rarity dries out my hair with one of the hairdryers. While she does it, she uses her magic to brush my hair. That's odd. Why would you brush your hair while drying it? Usually I dry my hair until it's only slightly moist, and then comb it. Ow, fuck. Welp, that was a knot.

"Finished! Come take a look, darling. I think you'll be pleased," Rarity announces, a hint of pride in her voice. I sit up slowly, and already I can tell I'm going to like what I see. Like, even before seeing it. I can tell because of how my hair feels when it falls down my neck. Before, it would hang in clumps, knot, and stick to my skin. Now it feels like fucking silk, like it's supposed to. My scalp no longer itches either. Thank god. Having an itchy scalp is maddening.

I get off the chair and look at Rarity, who is holding up a small mirror with her magic. Peering into it shows my ordinary, unblemished face, but now I look so much better because my hair doesn't look like shit. This actually does wonders for my state of mind. I really like my fucking hair.

A second later, I realize I'm actually smiling a little. And Rarity notices, because she is beaming with success. "Finally. Now I don't look like shit anymore," is my outward response, but it's too late. Not even my coarse language can dampen her spirits. She knows I like it.

"Indeed! And now you know our mane products won't damage your mane," Rarity remarks.

"Fair enough. Now, didn't you have some other outfits to show me?" I remind her. Rarity nods enthusiastically, and she guides me back into the main room.

Now, I'm not going to waste time writing down how I try on each and every outfit. It was repetitive as fuck, but the outfits were good. Those I am going to describe.

The first one is another set of blue jeans and a long sleeved shirt, only this time the shirt is white with dark purple rings around the collar and sleeves. Huh, so Rarity essentially made a shirt with her own color scheme on it. I guess I don't mind wearing it. I mean, purple isn't that bad of a color, and I never gave a fuck about fashion anyway.

The second is a bit more formal looking. This one consists of khaki slacks made of a material I can't identify, and a plain black shirt reminiscent of a polo. Huh, that's oddly lacking in pigment. When I questioned her about her color choice, she responds with, "It matches your hair, darling." Fair enough, I suppose.

The third is more of a heavier nature, likely for the winter that's soon to arrive. The pants are made of a much thicker material, similar to sweatpants, only less shitty. The shirt is actually doubly layered. To reiterate, it's basically a gray t-shirt stitched directly onto a white long sleeved shirt that is specifically designed to keep in heat. Additionally, there's a dark green jacket to go along with that outfit.

When I beheld the last outfit, I pause. Picking it up, I show it to Rarity. "What exactly is this?" I ask calmly, holding up the small black shorts that look a little tight for me.

"Oh, that one? Those are swimming trunks, just in case. It never hurts to be prepared, right?" Rarity answers me with a smile. I look back at them unconvinced.

"Really? They look too small for me," I tell her, stretching the material. It's actually more elastic than I expected. Whoa, so it's like underarmor. That's so cool. "Nevermind, they stretch. The better question is, why the hell would I need these in the winter?"

"It's not quite winter yet, dear. The lakes are quite tolerable, even now," Rarity informs me. That's actually good to know. I'm not usually one for swimming, but I do occasionally when I have free time. And by swim, I mean lie on a floating thingy (shut up, I don't fucking know what they're called) and take a nap.

"I see. Anyway, thanks for the clothes, but I need to get going," I say, shouldering my rifle and moving towards the door. Rarity blinks at my abrupt farewell, but she composes herself quickly.

"Of course, darling. Feel free to visit. You're always welcome here," Rarity calls after to me. I wave a hand absentmindedly and then leave the Boutique behind, carrying my clothes in my arms.

It's kind of dumb how fast she warmed up to me. I mean, I threatened her sister and insulted her repeatedly. Yet now I'm welcome at her house anytime.

Come to think of it, she's not the only one who's made a quick turn around. Rainbow did the same thing. We went from bitter enemies to...whatever we are now in the space of a few days. Something doesn't seem right here. Wait...I remember seeing Twilight talking to Rainbow just before the latter started acting somewhat nicer. I feel like there's a correlation.

If Rainbow and Rarity are only acting friendly because Twilight said something to them...then they're honestly just like every other goddamn human, and it would completely invalidate Rainbow's whole "I'm your friend now" speech.

I'm going to confront Twilight about this the next time I see her. If she confirms my theory...I'm probably going to knock her the fuck out and then go find a better way to get myself killed.

Yeah, I'm done thinking about this. It's a good thing I'm heading back to see Vinyl. I need a music fix, and there's no way I'm asking Lyra.

---

Vinyl opens the door just after I knock. Her shades are already on, and it looks like most of her stuff is loaded up in the cart already. "Perfect timing, Seth! Come on in," she greets with me with a grin, stepping aside so I can walk past her. "Nice threads, dude. You see Rarity?"

"Against my better judgment," I confirm bitterly. "But at least I'm wearing some decent clothes for once."

"Wow, and it's more than just the threads. You look good, bro. Especially your mane," Vinyl compliments me, causing me to look at her in disbelief. That's three ponies know that have commented on my ma...my hair. "And it helps that you don't smell like a stallion's locker room anymore."

"Pfft. Thanks a lot," I return sarcastically, but I'm not really that mad. She's right, of course. Additionally, I actually like this kind of interaction. "I see your place still looks like shit."

"Eh, fair enough. Anyway, let's get this thing moving," Vinyl responds, not really offended.

"Okay. Let me put all these clothes upstairs," I tell her. After a quick run to my room, I position myself behind the cart again, like before. Like the time two days ago, we lever the cart out the door and onto the streets, locking the door behind us.

"Hey, Vinyl," I say tentatively, getting the attention of my boss.

"Wassup?"

"Have you spoken to Twilight recently?" Vinyl's also been treating me nicely, so I want to see if my theory holds.

"Not since the party. I'm not as close to her as I am to Pinks and Rainbow. Why?" Vinyl answers, sounding curious. Huh...so Twilight hasn't spoken to her about me. Or maybe she's just not telling me. Pfft, so that solves absolutely nothing. It's kind of dumb asking somepony a question if you're not going to trust the answer they give.

"No reason," I grunt, essentially cutting off the conversation there. Or that's what I'd have to liked to have happened.

"Speaking of Pinks, have you seen her recently? I haven't seen her since the party, and that's odd. She's usually always outside socializing," Vinyl asks me, concerned. I tense up at that. Shit, Pinkie's missing? That's...probably my fault. It was just yesterday morning that I yelled at her. My intent was to get her to leave me alone. Did I really hurt her that bad?

"No, I haven't," I respond honestly. I'm not telling Vinyl a thing. I don't want to deal with the self-righteous bullshit she'd give me. In the end, it's not really my problem. Pinkie will get over it eventually, and then she'll leave me alone, just like I planned.

"Weird," Vinyl muses. With that conversation out of the way, the both of us focus entirely on moving the cart. With Vinyl's direction, it isn't very long before we end up at the club...well I guess I should call it a bar, because clubs are something you'd find in a city. You know what, this is my damn journal, I can use what terminology I want. I'll call it a clar...just kidding, I'm not really going to do that.

"Awright, let's get this baby inside," Vinyl directs, and then the two of us hoist the cart over the threshold and into the building.

The first thing I notice is that the place is full of ponies. Some of them I actually recognize. I would say who they are, but my vision is suddenly filled with insanely bright colors. Namely, every single color of the fucking...

"There you are! I knew if I find Vinyl, I'd find you!"

...Rainbow. Welp. Here was me thinking I rid myself of her for today. I guess not. "Well, you found me. Proud of yourself?" I deadpan.

"I'm always proud of myself," Rainbow proclaimed, thumping her chest with a hoof. Then she looks at Vinyl. "Sup, Vinyl? How's it hanging?"

"Pretty sweet, Dash! Pretty great turnout we got tonight. That your doing?" Vinyl returns the greeting enthusiastically. Rainbow swells herself up with self-importance.

"You know it! I did the rounds," she responds. God...these two have energy out the ass.

"Thanks. I appreciate it. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. Seth and I gotta set all this up," Vinyl says, levitating the first box out of the cart.

"All right! Yo, Seth, when you're done, come find me," Rainbow addresses me again. She jabs a hoof at one of the tables in the back. To my dismay, Lyra and Bon Bon are sitting at the table she's pointing at. "Me and a few others are sitting in the back."

"Sure, whatever. Now screw off so I can work," I reply dismissively. Rainbow immaturely sticks her tongue out at me, and then she flies back to her seat.

Then essentially it's just a matter of unloading all of the shit from the cart. This time though, Vinyl actually lets me help her set up the wiring, though she's instructing me over my shoulder the whole time.

"You know why I put the carpet last? It's because of all these wires I got running everywhere. You don't want ponies dancing too close to the equipment without that carpet, because they'll trip on the wires and probably knock things over," Vinyl explains while the two of us are uncoiling the wires. "So make sure to keep the bulk of the cabling in this square area, so we can cover it up with the carpet."

"Where do these cords go?" I ask, holding up the ends of several wires that are labeled with pink tape. I recognize the Equestrian scrawled on it, but I can't read it. It only takes Vinyl a second to identify them.

"Those go to the LEDs. Give me one second and I'll show you how to hook them up," she informs me. I'm learning a lot about setting this stuff up. It's weird, because when we set up for Pinkie's party, all I did was unload the cart and do some heavy lifting. Now she's actually teaching me how to set it up. I'd ask her why, but I don't really feel like it. I'll ask her later.

Vinyl helps me set up her speaker system, which mostly consists of the two of us lifting massive speakers from her cart and placing them strategically around the room to spread the sound around evenly. Some of the speakers have holes in the top.

"These are where the LEDs generally go. You place these metal poles here-" Vinyl levitates several poles out of the cart and passes a few of them to me. "-into these slots. Don't worry about the LEDs themselves. I'll just magic to fix them to the top of those poles."

"Shouldn't you let me do that? You're going to be using magic for hours, and I'm twice your size," I inquire, demonstrating my point by sticking a pole in one of the speakers and then easily touching the top of it. Vinyl blinks.

"Whoa, is that consideration you're showing? You feeling all right, Seth?" Vinyl quips with a grin.

"There's a difference between being considerate and being practical," I remind her impatiently. We're working. Save the jokes for never, please. Vinyl nods her head.

"Sure, sure," she remarks, though it's clear she doesn't believe me. Fucking ponies, man. Moving on, Vinyl unpacked the different LEDs she uses to keep the dance floor lit, and then instructs me how to fasten them to the poles in the correct position and height.

Throughout all of this, I gain a new respect for Vinyl. I mean, even more than the usual respect I give musicians. I never could fathom how musicians think so many different things at once. For example, when setting up for a performance, a musician has to think about what order the songs should be played in to keep the audience entertained, for one. No audience will wait if the musician encounters difficulties with the equipment either, which makes technical experience a must.

Vinyl's got all of this down, judging by the folder she's carrying on her back, as well as how she checks every piece of equipment and every wire for problems. Once she's confident the LEDs are ready, she has me help her set up her tables. Turns out all I have to do is carry them, because she doesn't want anyone touching the controls but her. Makes sense.

"Awright, that should be it," Vinyl declares once we set down the carpet over the mass of wires. I wipe the sweat off my forehead, not used to this kind of exertion. I'm sure my body will get over it in the space of a few weeks, but until then all this heavy lifting is going to hurt. A tentative touch to my primary arm muscles tells me that they're stiff, which means they're going to be sore in the morning. Fucking great. "I'm going to get started soon, so feel free to go out and mingle."

I turn around and walk away from her without another word. Already I feel like I want to be alone. It's been a long day, so I want to rest in the quiet, but I'm not going to be getting any of that.

Somepony prods me on the leg with a hoof, prompting me to stop walking and see who it is. Huh it's Flitter. I assume she just got here, I've just walked past the entrance. "Hello, Seth. Nice to see you again," she says with a meek smile. I cross my arms and look at her wordlessly, waiting for her to continue. She quails when I don't say anything back. "Um...how are you?"

"Fine," is my very short reply. I'm tired and I want to sit down. Please shut up so I can do that.

"Oh...okay. Um...where are you sitting? I mean, just in case you wouldn't mind some company," Flitter tries once more to get something other than a single word out of me. I had thought I'd been cold enough to Flitter to get her to leave me alone, but I suppose note. Letting her think I'd been dancing with her back at the party had been a mistake. Turning back around, I start walking towards Rainbow's table...where she's sitting with Lyra and Bon Bon. Fuck you, Rainbow...I really don't want to sit with them.

"Over with Rainbow," I respond, knowing that Flitter would follow me. She must be really hurting for company if she chooses to run after me. Before she can say anything else, we reach Rainbow's table. They look up as I approach.

"Guess you're done working, huh? Take a seat!" Rainbow requests, slapping an empty spot with her hoof. I might as well. I'm stuck here anyway until Vinyl is done playing.

"Oh, wow, I love what you did with your mane!" Lyra gushes just a second after I sit down. While I wish the praise had come from ANYONE else, I do appreciate it.

"Thanks," I grunt. Rainbow glances at me, and I can see the veiled concern in her eyes. She notices how short I'm being, probably. I don't know what she plans to do about it, though.

"Hey...um...do you mind if I join you all?" Flitter asks awkwardly. Right, she is talking to her boss, I suppose. I'd be awkward too.

"Hey Flitter! Didn't expect to see you here. Heck yeah you can join us," Rainbow exclaims. "Give me one second, I'll pull up a chair."

Rainbow snatches a chair from an empty table nearby and edges it in between me and Lyra, much to my relief. Lyra pouts slightly for some reason as Flitter sits down on her haunches in the proffered spot.

"Oh, you got new clothes," Flitter observes, suddenly. I can't help it anymore. I rub my forehead, getting irritated.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed. Thank you for telling me that I'm suddenly wearing a new set of clothes, a full minute after seeing them in the first place," I shoot back sardonically, and I see Flitter flinch visibly.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she stammers, while Lyra sighs and Rainbow frowns. Bon Bon, however, is a bit more vocal.

"Are you just a jerk to everypony you talk to?" Bon Bon demands. Great, looks like another one is getting defensive with me. At least I know how to deal with fuckers like you.

"Yup, pretty much," I say casually. "Glad we got that figured out. Are you done now, or are you just going to continue stating the obvious?"

"You...I don't know what Lyra even sees in you!" Bon Bon snaps. Only a moment later does she realize what she just said.

"Shh, Bon Bon!" Lyra hisses at her, a blush quickly forming on her face. Rainbow and Flitter all look at Lyra, and then back at me. Apparently neither of them knew about that part, which makes sense considering I only told Rarity.

"Neither do I. Besides, if you're worried about me taking your mare, don't be. I'm not attracted to ponies," I retort, resting my face on my fist, utterly disinterested in this conversation. Bon Bon looks scandalized, and then a light blush appears on her face too. Hah, apparently I hit the nail right on the head there.

"I...don't know what you're talking about. I'm into stallions, thank you very much," Bon Bon splutters indignantly. Uh huh. You might fool these naïve ponies, but certainly not me. I saw the signs. You're into Lyra, so you were probably jealous of me the moment I met you. "It's a good thing you're not attracted to us, because with an attitude like that, you're never going to have a special somepony!"

I can't help it. I cover my mouth as I laugh incredulously. "Special somepony?" That's something I haven't heard before. That's just the most ludicrous way of referring to a love interest. How the hell does she keep a straight face when she says that?

"Okay...that's enough already. We came here to have fun, everypony." Rainbow finally gets sick of our shit and steps in, speaking loud enough that the both of us could hear her. Bon Bon continues to glare at me, but with repeated urging from Lyra, she huffs and returns to her drink.

"Seth, you were never mean to me," Flitter says to me tentatively, ignoring the look of warning that Rainbow shoots her. I transfix her with my gaze.

"Because you treated me with respect, and didn't get on my damn case all the time like these fuckers," I explain, indicating the other three ponies at the table with a hand gesture.

"Oh," Flitter gulps.

A somewhat loud screech from the speakers alerts the room that Vinyl's tables had just switched on. I guess that means she's getting ready to start.

"'Sup, everypony! That's right, the one and only Vinyl Scratch is here to provide you with the best beats this side of Equestria!" Vinyl announces enthusiastically. In response, the ponies in the building, including the ones sitting with me, cheer. "That's what I like to hear! Now with this song, I wanna see everypony lookin' alive!"

The room seems to rumble with the sound of the bass as the song begins. My head bobs a bit in time to the relatively slow beat. It's more dubstep, and a particularly good mix too. I was never that much of a fan of the genre before, but I always did appreciate a well done mix that wasn't obnoxious. Like this one.

"What's up, Seth? You're a bit edgy." Rainbow asks me. I give her an askance look. Clever. She waited to ask until the music prevented most other ponies from hearing us. I mean, I can barely hear her.

"I'm tired, and Bon Bon's a bitch," is my particularly eloquent response. Rainbow cocks an eyebrow.

"She's not that bad. Makes good candy. Did you two get off on the wrong hoof, or something?" she objects.

"Well, the first thing she said to me was, 'oh, wasn't your race dead?' You tell me," I remark, frowning. Rainbow opens her mouth to reply, and then she between Bon Bon and I.

"I see your point. Seems kind of callous," Rainbow admits, causing me to look at her in disbelief. Did she just agree with me? "But come on, lighten up a bit. I'll buy you a drink. Sound good?"

"No. I don't need ponies buying me stuff. Honestly, I just want to go back home and get some time to myself," I reveal. My stomach chooses that time to remind me how hungry I'm getting. A quick glance doesn't seem to reveal any sources of food, though. I had thought there would be free food here, since the last gig had plenty. But maybe that was because it was a Pinkie party or whatever they call it.

"Look, dude, I insist. A cup of apple cider will help you unwind," Rainbow presses, wrapping a hoof around me. Hang on a minute, what? Did she just say apple cider?

"In that case, doubly no. I don't drink, nor do I intend to ever start." Great...ponies have fucking alcohol. You know, one of the worst things mankind ever created. Oh look, here's a drug to help you lose your minds! What genius decided that was a good idea? What genius decided to keep making it after domestic violence increased, fatal auto accidents increased, unwanted pregnancies increased...oh dear god, I can keep going. This proves ponies are exactly like worthless humans.

"What do you mean, you don't drink? Everypony has to drink to survive, right? What gives?" Rainbow demands, confused. I give her a deadpan stare. Are you fucking kidding me?

"No, you idiot. I mean I don't drink alcohol. I have something against poisoning myself to insanity," I snap back at her. Rainbow's ears flatten at my biting tone.

"Hey, I'm no idiot! But...I have no idea what al...alc...alohol is," she admits. Wait what?

"You just said apple cider. Doesn't that have a chemical in it that lowers your inhibitions and makes it more difficult to think clearly?"

"What? No! It just tastes really good, that's all. Who in the hay would drink something with a thing like that in it?" Rainbow looks genuinely appalled at the concept. So...ponies don't have alcohol? That...is a huge relief. Okay, that is one thing about the ponies that I will admit is better than humans. Faith in ponykind a smidgeon restored.

"Humans...just another reason why I hate them," I answer. Rainbow nods, apparently agreeing with that sentiment. "So how much for some of this cider?"

"I think it's like, 2 bits a cup?" Rainbow muses, scratching her head with a hoof. Fuck it, I might as well. I have two bits cushion anyway, so that I'll still be able to afford rent. Rainbow fumbles a bit when I hand her the money. "Go get me one."

"I said I'd pay for it," Rainbow reminds me, but I transfix her with a stare. She holds it for a few moments before sighing and getting up. "Fine...stubborn human."

"Conniving pony," I shoot back, looking down at the table. Rainbow looks at me oddly.

"Pasty-faced giant." I look up in surprise to see Rainbow grinning at me cheekily. A hint of a smile appears on my face too. She wants to play this game, does she?

"Technicolor adrenaline junkie," I retort.

"Whiny jerkface."

"Deformed worm thing."

"Weak-limbed wonder."

"Hoofed blabbermouth."

"Ape with stupid hair." Ohoho...she went there. Well, two can play at that.

"Tiny foal with the fucked up color scheme." Seems like our insults are getting more elaborate.

"Cocky flat-faced mummy."

"What are you two doing?" Lyra, who looks to be on her way to the dance floor with Bon Bon. Apparently she'd overheard us.

"Nothing," Rainbow and I say at the same time, attempting to look as innocent as possible. Lyra regards us suspiciously, and then jabs a hoof at us in a universal "I'm watching you" gesture as Bon Bon drags her off.

Rainbow and I glance at one another. "Snrk." I'm the first one to lose my composure as I chuckle into my hand, finding the entire exchange funny as hell. Rainbow is much less dignified about it, choosing to erupt into very unladylike laughter. "Truce? I really am thirsty," I say, offering my hand.

"Really? No way, dude, I win! But yeah, I'll get you that drink. Be right back," Rainbow proclaims, thumping her chest before trotting through the crowd.

Heh, she's all right. The only people I've been able to randomly insult like that without them getting offended are Amaryllis and Adam. Now, if only I could tell what she's like on the inside.

"I'm going to go dance," a voice says from next to me. Oh right, Flitter is still here. She's standing up now, indicating the dance floor with a hoof. "Would you like to join me?"

"Nah, I'm too tired tonight." Flitter nods at my response, and then she disappears from view as well, leaving me alone at the table.

Of course, I'm not alone for long before Rainbow returns with two cups of cider with her. She slams one down in front of me, bits of froth flying. "There you go: one cup of heaven."

"Heaven, huh? We'll just see about that," I reply, grabbing the cup and taking a gulp of it. Oh my god, fucking ow...shit, it's carbonated...and I just took a gulp without being used to it. Ow...pain...pain. Whew. When the pain passes, I give it another sip so I can actually taste it this time. Oh wow, it's like I'm drinking really good apple juice that's carbonated. "Not bad."

"Right? You think this is good, you should taste it when Applejack's family makes it. Hers is like...what's a good word..." Rainbow responds eagerly.

"Sex for your mouth?" I provide helpfully. Rainbow jerks her head back, looking at me oddly.

"Not...the words I'd have used...but close enough. Is that a human saying?" she says awkwardly, blushing a little.

"Pretty much."

"Dude, humans are weird."

"Tell me something I don't know."

We spend a few moments in silence, just drinking our cider. I'm not going to be able to eat tonight, so I staving it off slightly with liquids is the best I can do.

"Say, Seth, what do you know about pranks?" Rainbow suddenly says, watching me with a wicked grin on her face.

"Where did that come fro-" I start to reply, but then a louder sound cuts me off.

"SETH ROGERS!" That shout sounds familiar. I whirl my head around to see Twilight standing at the entrance, looking right at me.

And boy, she does not look happy to see me.

---

More character development for Seth, as well as the breaking down of the walls between him and Rainbow. I hope you're looking forward to the next few chapters as much as I am, because this arc is going to hit its climax very soon.

Also, thank you for all the positive feedback. It's good to know that there are readers out there that don't completely despise this story.