I have no idea where to begin. Right now, I'm sitting in a cheap hotel, penning this in a recently bought notebook in an attempt to keep myself sane. God knows there hasn't been a decent person to talk to since getting here. No, everybody here is fucking crazy.

It would probably make more sense if I started at the beginning. Maybe if I go back through my most recent memories, I can make more sense as to what happened. At the time, I was in the middle of a mental breakdown.

My name is Seth Rogers, a college junior who attends college at Rainer State University. I worked my ass off in high school to get here, as I have a high end job waiting for me in a well known computer company if I can graduate from here. In essence, I have planned out my life since entering high school.

It's just another normal day for me as a student. Of course, normal usually means rushing to and fro my classes, or working hard at my desk if I didn't have anything scheduled for that day.

Unfortunately, Wednesdays are busy for me, as I have four classes crammed back to back. It seems grueling, but I actually enjoy this better. This way, I have longer breaks between class days to get my work done, or just read if I manage to square everything away. Or, hell, sometimes I hang out with the few friends I have.

Right now, I'm sitting in my third class of the day. It's foreign language, which is just simple memorization. Not to toot my own horn here, but that's just plain simple. That's why this is my least favorite class. Heh, that doesn't make much sense when I write it on paper. I suppose it's because if I'm not challenged in a class, I get bored really easily.

This is one of those days.

I sigh and let my face rest on my fist. While not entirely comfortable, this allows me to rest my head without the professor getting on to me. Yeah, I have a college professor that actually cares if someone's not paying attention. It's a damn hassle. I mean, this is college, not high school. It should be entirely our choice whether or not we're good students.

Additionally, in this position my short, wavy black hair falls down and covers the majority of my face, therefore allowing me to close my bright green eyes and attempt to get some sleep. You don't understand; at the time I was completely fried from two back to back tests. Praise the whatever that we were only studying the written language in this class.

The other students in the classroom are a mix of other men and women of various years whose names escape my mind. After all, they are the usual gossiping, over-dramatic people who I can care less about.

I suddenly jerk awake, which causes me to lift my head and look around to see if anyone had noticed. When I determine that no one had, I sigh again. I hate it when a minor dream awakens me like that. Resting my head on my fist again, I tried again to sleep, but find that I can't

I curse to myself, succumbing to that confounded boredom once again. It's times like this that I wish I had a way out. Why can't I ever get those spontaneous bloody noses at a convenient time? Like...now. My head droops. That's just wishful thinking on my part. I had my deviated septim fixed months ago.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, taking me by surprise. Who in their right mind would text me? I roll my eyes and take out the phone, expecting it to be my mother again.

Huh, it's actually not. It's from one of my only friends. Her name is Amaryllis. Her name is quite the mouthful, so everyone calls her Amy for short. Not me, of course. I think her first name is unique, unlike all the other shitty names I see people saddled with. Anyhow, I might as well see what she wants.

You still in class?

My lips curve into a smile, an expression only my friends can cause. Amaryllis is so cute in that she never shortens or abbreviates her words. Odd for text messages, don't you think? Not a single "lol" or even a "brb."

This is a welcome distraction from class, so I quickly tap out a reply on my Iphone and send it to her.

Not for long.

Class ends in twenty minutes, but if Amaryllis is asking me a question like that, she got out of class early and wants to hang out. Technically, I don't have time to hang with her because I have class right after this one. Fuck that, though. I already don't see her enough.

I stand up from my position in the middle of the class room, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I get some annoyed mutters from the other students in my row as I force my way past them, but I could really care less. What do I care if they find some action of mine rude?

As I head towards the door, the professor shoots me an angry glare, because she knows I'm cutting her class early. I return it with one of my own just before leaving the room. Bitch, I'm acing your class. Eat your heart out.

From here, it's just a short walk through a hallway, down some stairs, and out the double doors into the mildly chilly weather. I shiver involuntarily at the change in temperature. I'm telling you, fuck winter.

Just as I expected, Amaryllis is leaning against one of the stone pillars that support an awning that hangs over the front door of the building I just came from. She's as beautiful as always, despite the ice cold expression on her face. What really stands out about her is her hair. It's a glimmering crimson color and hangs lower than her waist. It still wows me every time I see it. Why can't I have hair that shines like that?

She gives a small, almost imperceptible smile as she sees me. I walk past her with a light gesture, and she falls into step beside me. I only have about thirty minutes before my next class, so I'm walking to the science building. We're quiet for a bit, but it's not awkward. This is how things generally go.

"How did your tests go?" Amaryllis finally broke the silence, gazing at me with her baby blue eyes.

"Just fucking great. There was crap on that last test that I've never seen before, and you know how I study," I snap irritably. Such a response may have taken a normal friend aback, but Amaryllis isn't like that. She's as mean and fucked up as I am, which is probably why we're such good friends.

"Perhaps you should have listened in his lecture. I know for a fact that professor uses a lot of material from his oral lectures only," Amaryllis points out, causing me to groan. She's right, but that only makes it worse.

"Can you not patronize me right now?" I ask wryly. A smirk crosses Amaryllis's face.

"What, do you want me to pat your back and say 'I'm sorry, you poor baby?'" she responds sarcastically, speaking the last bit in a bad imitation of my mother's voice.

"Fuck you."

"Dream on, Seth."

"Pah."

That is generally how we act when we're hanging out. Seems abnormal, doesn't it? No, we're just that good of friends. Practically every other word out of our mouths is an insult to one another, and yet we're tighter than siblings.

"What about you? How did your classes go?" I ask her after a moment of silence.

"Nothing worth mentioning. But I did run into Sam on the way out. He tried to start something." Amaryllis replies. That gets my attention. Samson, or Sam for short, is one of Amaryllis's ex-boyfriends. That one in particular was a nasty one, thinking he could 'tame' the wildness that is Amaryllis. Needless to say, that didn't end well for him.

"Oh really?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "I hope you beat the shit out of him."

"I broke his arm," Amaryllis returned, smiling. I quickly form a mental image of that bastard getting his arm broken, and I break out into a twisted grin. I just love it when people like him get what's coming to them.

"Good. Else I might have been tempted to do something to him myself," I grunted, feeling satisfied. Amaryllis raises an eyebrow herself at that statement.

"Oh? Feeling a bit protective of me, are you? You're so sweet, Seth," she quips, smirking. I scoff in derision at that.

"Not on your life. I just can't stand looking at his damn face," I shot back, but I'm obviously lying. I honestly would have torn that guy a new asshole if Amaryllis hadn't badass enough to do it herself.

We fell into silence once more, but it doesn't last long before a horror rock theme starts blaring from my phone. I recognize the caller without looking, since everyone on my contact list has a unique ringtone. I quickly take out my phone and click the answer button.

"What is it, mom?" I ask as patiently as I can. My mother, Elaine Rogers, never calls for purely personal reasons, so I can't just ignore it.

"Hey, son. I know you have class in a bit, but do you have a few minutes to talk?" Elaine's soft voice sounds from the speakers. I sigh a bit. As usual, she's asking nicely, but there's never a choice in the matter. Of course, that didn't stop me from trying.

"Well, I'm with Amaryllis because class let out early. Can it wait until after class?" I respond as politely as possible. You think I'm snarky? You don't ever want to see my mother annoyed.

"Oh, hanging out with Amy? I see how things are." The smug tone in her voice is enough to make me rub my forehead in irritation. "Have you asked her out yet?"

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make insinuations. Now what do you want?" I lash out viciously. I fucking hate it when she brings that up.

"I was just calling to tell you about an internship your uncle's company is offering you, down in Chile," Elaine continues on, seemingly ignoring my outburst. She was used to me, I guess. That tends to happen when you live with someone for twenty years. However, this bit of news has me a little excited.

"Really? All the way down in Chile? How would that work?" I inquire, interested. The fact that I'm getting an internship from the company I was aiming to work for one day means that if I do well, a spot in their company is pretty much guaranteed.

"All it takes is a bit of planning. If you tack a few more hours onto your spring semester, you can take a summer off to head down there. They're paying well for your time," my mother explains. The wheels start turning in my head. I technically could skip a summer semester if I took on a larger workload the following semester. It wouldn't be pretty, but I generally have enough free time in my week to accommodate a few more classes.

Also, getting paid is nice. With the amount that company generally pays, I might make enough to attend this year's anime convention here in Rainier city. It's been a long damn time since the last time I went, and I miss going terribly.

"I can do that. Tell them yes for me, all right?" I replied after a long pause.

"Oh, they'll be pleased to hear that. I'm proud of the decision you're making." I can hear the happiness in my mother's voice when she responds. I smile a bit, feeling a little happy at the praise I'm being given. Of course, I'm way too proud to admit that.

"Yeah, that's nice. Can I go now?" I say in a tired voice. I can hear a chuckle from the other end of the phone.

"Yes, go to class now, you insolent child," comes her amused response. I mutter a quick goodbye and hang up, heaving a sigh. Amaryllis, who had been silent the whole time, is looking at me curiously.

"What was that all about?" she asks, tilting her head to one side. You know, if it had been anyone else who asked that question, I would have told them to shove it.

"So apparently I'm going to Chile during the summer for an internship with Internex Electronics," I reply in a rather blunt manner. Screw beating around the bush. Amaryllis looks a bit taken aback by the suddenness of my statement, but she quickly composes herself and gives me a cool nod in response.

"That's very impressive. You'll go far with Internex...though I hope you like eating meat," she remarks. Now that I think about it, she has a point.

"Goddammit, I'm missing my greek salads already." My complaint earns a chuckle from the redhead.

I look out at the science building, where my next class, computer science, is. It's a pretty big building, housing both the math and lab science classes. The building is divided into halves apportioned to each subject. From my point of view, the math portion of the building is on the left. That's my destination.

Amaryllis and I cross the street gingerly after watching for the crazy ass shuttle driver that enjoys speeding down this particular road, before slamming his brakes at the nearby stop. Yeah, I've been in that situation before. It wasn't fun. Bastard is an adrenaline junkie.

We reach the front of the building. To get inside, one had to climb a set of stairs and pass through double doors. Even though it's the middle of the day and the sidewalks are crammed with students, we have no trouble getting through. By that, I mean we pretty much shove everyone out of our way. Yeah, Amaryllis and I can be total pricks sometimes, but I have no qualms about giving back to the world what it's given to me.

"Well, I have to head up to class now," I say ruefully. I really do enjoy these walks with her, on the rare occasion she is free. Of course, I'd die a million times before admitting that to anyone, but this is my diary after all.

Amaryllis nods in understanding. She hesitates, and then takes a step towards me. I watch her come closer in confusion, and I almost cry out in shock as she gives me a hug, her slender arms wrapping around me. I awkwardly reciprocate, completely shocked. Out of all the people I've met, Amaryllis is the last person I'd expect to give out hugs. She's more likely to break your spine than she is to hug you. So how the hell do I respond to this? The only way I know how, of course.

"What's this? Sentiment, from Amaryllis? Don't be getting soft on me," I quip with a devilish grin. Amaryllis's immediate response is to shove me backwards violently, an exasperated look on her face.

"Oh, you asshole," she grunts, though I can tell she doesn't mean it by the amused gleam in her eyes.

"You know you love me."

"Go to class already so I can be rid of you." I watch Amaryllis walk away, my grin lessening into a warm smile.

"Text me if you get a free moment!" I call after her. Instead of a reply, she waves back at me without looking. Good enough, I guess.

Now that she's gone, my smile slips away, forming a thin line that betrayed no emotion; this was the face I wear on a daily basis.

I reach into the side pocket of my bag, withdrawing a set of Japanese imported headphones, produced by Audio Technica. They are made of a smooth wooden lacquer, and are about half the diameter of my palm. They are designed in such a way that the cord will loop around the back of your neck, so that the cups will hang down the front of my chest when I'm not using them.

Slipping them over my ears and plugging them into my phone, I play some of my favorite music, which is generally symphonic metal. Nightwish is a favorite of mine, so I put on one of their songs. As the music fills my head, I'm easily able to tune out the rest of the world. The only sensations passing through my ears are the sounds of piano and guitar mixing together in a glorious solution.

Pushing open the double doors, I walk into the building, shoving my way past the guy who had been trying to get out through the same door. The fucker. If you see me coming, get the hell out of my way, because I'm not budging for you.

My class is on the second floor, so I move through the crowded hallways and into the stairwell. The stairs here are made of metal and concrete, and are about the only finished product in here. There was nothing to hide the water pipes laying bare along the walls, nor anything to cover the multitudes of electrical wires that snake everywhere. You've got to love a school with a limited budget.

My feet click against the hard red floor for a few moments before I begin climbing the stairs to the next floor. Several other people pass me on their way up or down, but I completely ignore them, and they do the same. People could care less about you, especially in a college as large as this one.

After reaching the second floor, it only takes me a few moments to navigate the hallways to my class. I step inside and once again endure the curious looks sent my way by the other students. The professor isn't here yet, but that much is a given. I'm five minutes early, and he doesn't show up until at least five minutes late. I know right? God forbid he take this class as seriously as I do.

My usual seat is right between a guy and his girlfriend, and a dark skinned man whose name I don't care to remember. I'm not friends with any of them. The woman, who is the only female in this class, is a total slut, while the guy is a stereotypical dumb jock who rants about sports to his girl every damn day. Makes me want to shut him up with my fist. There's more to life than sports, you hick.

The guy next to me with the dark skin would have been a tolerable sort, if he didn't feel the need to comment on everything everyone said. I'm not joking. If anyone nearby says something, he'll answer, even if it wasn't addressing him. Even the professor gets sick of his shit sometimes. Bastard makes me want to shove a sock down his throat.

I look up and see the professor walk in, late as usual. Out of courtesy, I pause my music and take off my headphones, letting them hang down my chest. I also slide out my laptop from my bag, as I refuse to use the shitty computers that are included in every computer science classroom.

The professor soon begins his lecture, as we only practice the actual code itself on Mondays or at home. I suppose it is important to learn why some code works as it does, and not just how to use it.

Coding is HARD. So I'm forced to pay attention for most of this class. I find the challenge refreshing, though my enthusiasm is always dampened by this idiots surrounding me. I swear, the more that guy answers the professor's rhetorical questions, the more friendly my sock starts to look.

In the last twenty minutes of class, I get a text from my brother. Adam Rogers recently graduated from this same college with a degree in engineering, and now works in an electrical plant, earning a decent amount of money. I wouldn't say he and I were altogether that close, but I certainly didn't hate the guy. We bonded mostly over anime, when he came into my room one day to see me watching Soul Eater on the big screen. He apparently liked what he saw, as he demanded we watch the series over from the beginning.

Ever since then, we would always get together and watch different animes. Soul Eater, Bleach, Fairy Tail, Code Geass, and other notable titles; we watched them all, each of us losing ourselves in the fantasy, all while enjoying the other's company.

That being said, his text is about a new anime he's interested in watching. Apparently it is an older one we haven't seen yet.

Get this, bro. Eureka Seven. Robots on hoverboards. We gotta do it! xD

Huh. Never heard of it. I'll look it up later and give it a shot, despite how ridiculous Adam's description of it is. It can't be more ridiculous than the ending of Guren Lagann, after all. Though it was awesome, once you set your disbelief in a black hole somewhere.

When class ends, I replace my headphones and walk out of the room, ignoring the darker man as he calls out a goodbye to me. He does that every class. You'd think he'd have learned by now I hate his guts. That aside, I'm composing a reply to Adam. We made a promise never to watch anime unless we are together, so I'm trying to nail down a good time to drive back home to see him.

Of course, I'm so absorbed in my reply, that I just don't see the man standing at the bottom of the stairs. I wish with all of my heart that I had, because then I wouldn't be in the situation I am as I write this.

The man is holding something that pulses a gentle green glow in his hands, but as soon as the glow registers in my mind, I plow right into him. The green glow completely disappears as his hands press on my chest for a second as he falls completely on his back. I fall forward with a cry, thrusting out my forearm just in time to break my fall and absorb the impact, though it hurts like a bitch.

I leap to my feet, removing my headphones as I prepare to shout at this guy for being a dumbass and not getting out of my way. However, his utterly bizarre appearance takes me by surprise.

His skin was a dark grey color, seeming almost ashen in complexion. His possessed a square jaw and an imposing visage, a description I don't give out lightly. His face is framed by trimmed sideburns, but the rest of his long and wild black hair is held back by what looks like...a crown? I'm not even kidding. He's wearing this metal circlet that is adorned with a strange red gem on the front, and spikes on the sides. That's just his damn head. The rest of his clothing is tight fitting and looks almost like a military body suit, and it is colored with a black and grey pattern. He even seems to have what looks like metal gauntlets on each of his hands. Hell, when I see that his boots are metal too, I almost start to believe that this guy is wearing some kind of armor.

Let me just think about that. Um...what? Who the fuck wears clothes like that in a place like this? Does he think he's some kind of big shot? Or worse, is he one of those damned cosplayers that dare to run around assuming they can EVER resemble their favorite anime character?

The man gets up slowly, and suddenly his eyes shoot open and focus an intense glare on me. Holy shit his eyes are fucking red! I can't help but take a step back up the stairs, feeling slightly intimidated by that glare of what seemed to be pure hate.

The man growls, revealing sharpened white teeth, which only serves to freak me out more. Before I can blink, he's in front of me, and pain explodes in my chest as his gauntleted fist barrels into my ribs. I double over, gasping at the sudden agony. The man isn't finished. I can feel his hand on my shirt, and seconds late I'm hanging in the air by that one hand. What kind of strength does this guy have?!

With an enraged grunt, he tosses me into the foyer of the stairwell. At this point, I'm over my shock, and I'm ready to defend myself if I have to. I place my bag aside, along with my headphones. If this guy wants a fight, I'll definitely give him one.

A student walks out of the second floor hallway into the stairwell, but before he can get very far, he is transfixed by my assailant's glare. The student wisely nopes the fuck out of there. When he was gone, the man turned back to me, his expression turning furious.

"That spell was not meant for thee!" the man roars, his deep voice echoing menacingly throughout the stairwell. Wait what? Spell? What the fuck is he talking about? "How dare thou cross me?! Thou shalt pay dearly for this!"

"Look, don't get all pissy just because you didn't fucking move when I was coming down the stairs," I snapped back at him, clutching my ribs where he punched me. I can only hope nothing is broken. He punches hella hard.

The man doesn't look like he's listening. He's walking up the stairs, moving towards me. I raise my hands in preparation. I don't know anything about fighting really, apart from what I've seen in shows or anime, but I do know one thing. Blocking is good.

When the man reaches me, he lifts his hand over his opposite shoulder, almost as if he plans to...oh no you fucking don't.

His hands swings down at an incredible speed in an attempt to backhand me, but I saw it coming. I lift my forearm into prime blocking position, just as his hand reaches me.

By the nine circles of Hell and Lucifer's three fucking mouths, that HURTS! What the hell is his hand MADE of? Sledgehammers? At the very least, I think I managed to block, as the man is now looking at me with interest.

"That spell was not meant for thee," the man repeats calmly, though I can still hear the anger simmering in his voice. "But...perhaps 'tis not a total loss."

"Mind making some sense please? Who the fuck are you, and why are you such an asshole?!" I demand, but he ignores me, instead choosing to walk slowly around me in a circle, his hands clasped behind his back. Was he sizing me up? This is just weird. I think I should get as far away from him as possible. "Uh...what are you doing?"

"Quiet," the man commands me. I blink in surprise, but it only lasts for a second before I snarl at him angrily.

"Fucking...I swear to god, if you don't..."

"QUIET!" the man shouts, and I swear I can feel some kind of pressure around me, as if the air itself was shaking under the sound of his voice. That can't happen, right? No matter how weird it is, my bravado is starting to slip away in the presence of this strange man. I'm beginning to get a little scared.

Finally, the man seems to have seen enough. He gives me a satisfied smile, which just looks fucking creepy with those sharp teeth of his.

"Indeed. Thou will do just fine," he says at last, confusing me even further. He turns the other direction and descends the stairs with purpose in his stride. As he reaches the door to the first floor, that fear that I'm feeling trickles away.

"What the actual fuck?! You're just gonna walk away? Who the hell are you, and what do you mean, 'spell?!'" I scream at him in anger. The man doesn't stop, opening the door and disappearing from view. "Are you kidding me?!"

What the hell was all of that about? I don't even know what to think. I'd say he was just a crazy cosplayer, but I felt how strong he was. Hell, I can still feel my forearm aching from that one simple hit.

"Hey, are you all right?" I turn to see a student that had just entered the stairwell from the second floor. He probably heard me yelling and was wondering if I was crazy or something. I don't feel like explaining myself, so I shoot an angry glare at him.

"Fuck off," is the only response I give him. The edge in my voice is enough to stave him off. He gives me a look of disbelief and then leaves me behind, scoffing at my rudeness.

I can't bring myself to move. I'm still in shock from what just happened. "Okay...it was probably just a normal guy who was trying to stay in character," I rationalize to myself. "The grey skin was just makeup, and he had contacts for the eyes. Yes, that's it. His strength...no no that's not important. He probably works out, unlike me. A flashlight for the glow. Okay."

I'm rambling to myself at this point, trying to keep myself from freaking out. He's normal. He has to be. Everything in life has a rational explanation. I've seen people crazier than him. He's just really into his role. I let out a sigh of relief, accepting my explanation as the truth.

I fumble with my phone, dialing the number of the only person who I can trust to listen to me seriously. I hold the phone to my ear, gulping. The ringing echoes in my ear, and for a moment, I think she's not going to answer.

"Hello? Seth, what's up? Usually you don't call," Amaryllis's concerned voice echoes through the speakers, setting my worries to rest. I take a quick breath.

"I honestly have no idea what the fuck just happened," I admitted. "It's...goddamn I don't know what to think."

"Okay. Just take a deep breath and start from the beginning, okay?" Amaryllis replies calmly. She doesn't make a single smartass joke or remark of some kind, which I'm grateful for. She can tell by the tone of my voice that something is wrong, I guess. I do as she directed, breathing deeply until my heart rate slows down again.

I tell her everything I can about the strange man, including a physical description, as well as the way he spoke, the strange green glow, and how his strength seemed almost unreal. As I talk, I start feeling a little weird. There's this queasy feeling in my stomach, almost as if I had eaten something that didn't agree with me. I ignore it, already knowing that our school's food was shit.

"I won't lie, this all sounds a bit fantastic, but I've known you long enough to know that you wouldn't make up bullshit like this," Amaryllis finally says after I finish explaining my situation to her. I smile a bit, feeling happy that she believed me. "I'm cutting class now. Can you meet me outside the science building?"

"You bet I can. I'll be out in...whoa," I have to stop talking as the queasy feeling in my stomach gives way to nausea. My legs wobble a bit, and I have to use the wall to steady myself.

"Seth? What's the matter?" Amaryllis asked sharply. I'm starting to feel lightheaded. It's difficult to think straight, almost as if a fog is descending over my mind. My thoughts are muddled and indistinct.

"I...I feel really weird..." is the only thing I can say. I feel dizzy now, and I fall to the floor, unable to keep my feet. My phone falls from my hand and skitters across the floor.

"Seth? Are you there? Seth? Shit...hang on, I'm coming!" I can vaguely hear her saying over the phone as my senses dull. I should care a bit more about this situation, but I can't think. I can't even see that well, as my eyelids close and my consciousness fades.

I wake up slowly, and then immediately wish I hadn't. I groan miserably, feeling aches and pains all over my body. My pulse pounds in my head.

I'm really uncomfortable at the moment, which gets me thinking. What the hell was I doing last night, that I'm sleeping on a cold hard floor? "That's the last time I go out drinking with...wait a minute," I mutter to myself, but I stop as I remember exactly what happened last. I had been talking to Amaryllis in the stairwell.

"Agh...shit," I grunt, forcing myself into a sitting position so I can get a better look at my surroundings. Looking around, I realize that I'm still in the science building. How is that possible? Wouldn't someone have called the police if there's a student passed out in the stairwell of a school building?

The next thing I notice is how dark it is. It's so dim in this hallway. The only light comes from my phone, which is a few feet away from me. I must have been left here past closing time. It makes me angry that this school is so shitty that no one even cares that I was possibly hurt. Oh, there's a guy lying in the stairwell? LET'S COMPLETELY IGNORE HIM! Gah, humanity pisses me off so much.

I grab my phone. I need to call Amaryllis. She's probably worried as all hell about me, since I had been in the middle of a call with her when I passed out. Looking at the screen, I'm shocked to discover that there's no service. Why the hell is there no service? This stairwell is where I usually go to make calls in the building because I GET signal here. So what the fuck?

So my phone's useless. Just fucking great. Using the wall for support, I force myself to stand. Now that I'm not looking at my phone, my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. What I see is so odd, that I don't know how to describe it.

There's...debris everywhere. Shards of metal, pieces of concrete, and a thin film of dirt cover the floor around me. Some of it was even sticking to my clothes, causing me to brush my shirt and pants with my hands to try and get some of it off.

The water pipes look old and rusted, and some of them are even missing. Hell, I think I even see one lying on the bottom of the stairs. The electrical wires are frayed and torn, though to my shock, none of them seem to be live. Speaking of which, I can't even hear the constant hum of the air conditioning. I don't know what to make of this. Did the building lose power? That theory doesn't explain the mess, though.

"What in the hell?" I whisper to myself. If I didn't know better, I'd say that this place had aged a few hundred years...but that would be ridiculous. Is this just some kind of ridiculous prank? "Fuck this, I'm not laughing. I'm going back to my dorm."

Guess there's nothing for me to do except walk back down the stairs. The moment my foot touches the first step, I hear a threatening creaking sound, the kind of sound you'd hear from rusty metal. I ignore it and keep walking, but I don't get very far when the creaking escalates and the entire fucking staircase gives out beneath me.

"HOLY SHIT!" I scream, feeling the metal and concrete stairs crumble away beneath me. Gravity takes hold and I fall down at least a two meter drop. Just before I hit the ground, I feel a tearing sound, and then a thin line of sheer agony shoots across my right side. "OW! Son of a...fuck!" I land right on my tail bone, which hurts like hell.

Looking at my side, I can see that my shirt is torn, and seems to be wet. I press my hand to my side, and then hiss in pain when I touch my skin. I pull my hand away and see blood. "Oh...that's not good. Shit." I look around to see what caused me to get hurt, and eventually I spy a rusted metal spike near where I fell. Some blood...my blood...was on its tip. "You confounded piece of...well, I'm sure glad I had my tetanus shot done recently." I curse at the spike. I'm really glad I had thought to get my shots. An injury like this would have spelled a very painful death otherwise.

I finish tearing off the strip of fabric that the spike had torn, and I wrap it around my side as a makeshift bandage. I tie it really tight in an attempt to stem the bloodflow. It still hurt, but it didn't look that deep. Of course, I can't really see that well.

One quick look tells me that the stairs had completely given way. I was lying in the remains of the steps. This was just ludicrous. Those stairs were concrete and metal. They don't just fucking break.

It's hard to stand, but I manage to do so, wincing at the pain in my side. Now that I'm down here, I can see these odd cylindrical objects littering the ground. I pick one up, examining it under the light of my phone.

I hurl the object away immediately in pure shock. That was a bullet casing! What in the...wait, that means the rest of these objects are bullet casings! What the hell HAPPENED while I was unconscious? I mean, I've heard of school shootouts, but...I didn't expect something like that could happen here. I can't make assumptions. I need to find out what really happened. The second I find someone, I'm going to make them tell me.

My side twinges painfully every time I take a step, so I limp to the door to the first floor hallway, only to find that the previously sturdy metal door was now rusted and dented. Also there's the fact that it has been ripped completely off of its hinges and was now lying in the middle of the hallway.

"What the shit?" I exclaimed in a higher pitch, starting to freak out. I still have no idea what's happening, but I do know I don't want any part of it. I just was to go home, call Amaryllis, and go curl up in a ball and eat ice cream.

I stepped over the broken door, looking in both directions. I can see that the entire building seems to be in the same state as the stairwell. There's debris everywhere, and I can even see power cords hanging from the ceiling, along with thicker cords that I can't quite make out. Curious I step towards one of them and run my hand along it. Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd say I was looking at roots. To like...a tree or something. But that can't be right. This building is four stories tall. There's no trees up there. This must be a thicker power cord, that's all.

If I keep walking this way, I can reach the exit to parking lot and Garlan Road, which loops around to my dorm. Now, I don't want to slip, so I keep my gaze fixed on the floor. I can see many more of those bullet casings. I can't help but shudder when I think of what might have happened to cause such an intense firefight in my school of all places. Fuck, I'm surprised I'm not having a mental breakdown yet.

Just have to open this door, and I'm free. I wrap my hands around the handle and push. Nothing happens. I push again. The door still doesn't budge. "Oh come on...open up you piece of...of..." I complain, but I trail off when I look to see what's blocking the door.

Staring back at me from the other side of the door is a solid wall of dirt and rock. I take a step back, completely speechless. Then another. My jaw falls open, and I start emitting unintelligible sounds, unable to form a coherent response.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I scream in a rather girly voice, and...oh...there's the breakdown. I'm now sitting with my back against the wall, my knees pressed up against my chest by my arms, and I'm rocking back and forth. Fuck. No. This can't be happening. How can I be underground? What the hell is going on? Why am I here? Where's Amaryllis? Goddamn it, where's my mother?!

I can't move. I won't move. If I stay here and sit completely still, maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare. I can't be underground. That's not possible. This building is on a higher elevation than the rest of campus. It can't be underground. Because if this is underground, then so is the rest of campus...AH GOD I can't think that way.

"I'm just going to take a deep breath, close my eyes...and when I open them, everything will be back to n...it's not normal," I say to myself, even going through the little eye closing thing...but nothing changed. "GODDAMMIT!"

I reach my hand over without lifting my head, and pinch myself hard on the arm. It hurts like crazy, but it didn't work. The school building still looks like it went through the apocalypse.

My side stings, and I realize I need to get some proper first aid. I shake myself out of my mental funk and stand back up. I'm NOT okay with this, but until I can get to safety, I can put the urge to curl up in a ball and cry in the back of my mind.

I need to go the other way. There's several exits. I just have to find them. There's one further down, but if this one is buried, then that one is likely buried too...ah fuck it I'm going to go check.

The hallway opens out into a larger room that serves to connect the math and science building. The walls are made of glass, but most of it is broken and scattered across the ground. Glass crunches underneath my feet as I slink into the room. I look to my left, through one of the broken glass walls. I remember there being a huge open study area beyond this wall. I can see the remains of it in the form of broken tables and rusty chairs. The hanging televisions are shattered or lying on the ground. There are a set of metal stairs in that area that head to the upper levels of the science wing, but they look corroded to me. No way am I going over there.

The stairs that lead to the lowest exit, where I first entered this building are hopefully made of sturdier material. I make sure to test my full weight on it first. Thankfully, nothing creaks or breaks, so I continue down the stairs.

"That's what I thought," I say to myself, observing that the doors down here are completely blocked off by dirt and rock. In fact, one of the doors is broken, and a huge heap of dirt had cascaded in through the gap. There was no way out down there.

Hm, maybe if I can find a computer that still had power, I could find out what in the hell happened. I think these places have backup generators. Especially for a building that had computer science classes in it. Where the hell would I find one though? They are usually in those little closet things that say electr...this is a dumb idea. I don't have the know how to find one of those, much less start it up.

So that's out. I need to think. What's the smartest thing to do in this situation? Wait! I have an idea. There are cameras in every stairwell. I know where the studio where the staff checks the cameras is. It's on the top floor. Now that I think about it, there's a roof access up there as well. I smile a bit at my idea. Now I can just head up top, check the cameras, and leave through the roof.

I move back towards the stairs to the second floor...only to remember that the stairs are out, and the foyer is too high for me to reach. I need to find another way up. There's no power, so the automatic doors leading into the science wing won't. That bars me off from the other staircases...not that I trust them.

"Fuck, is there any way up?" I curse softly, looking around. Then it hit me. There's an elevator in front of the building's buried front entrance. I might be able to use the maintenance ladder in the shaft to get up a floor or two, depending on where the elevator is.

After a swift run back down the stairs towards the exit, I'm at the elevator that is tucked in a corner between the staircase and the wall. It's usually meant for the handicapped, but this is my only way out.

The doors are shut, and there's no power, so I hook my fingers in the tiny gap between them and pull. It barely budges. Dammit. I have to do this the hard way, don't I? I adjust my stance to give myself as much leverage as possible, and then I try again, this time using as much strength as I can muster.

"Come on..." I grit out between clenched teeth. The doors opened very slowly, giving me a lot of resistance. I grunt in exertion, sweat beading on my brow. Once the gap is large enough, I push myself in there and use my newfound leverage to shove the doors open the rest of the way. I find myself looking at the inside of the elevator car.

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me!"

---

Here's my first attempt at writing a story in this genre. I am well aware of the stigma of HiE stories, and I and determined to break free of it and spin a tale that will be worth reading.

With that in mind, I am a bit of a masochist when it comes to constructive criticism, so if there's anything in here that needs fixing, tell me. This is a very early rough draft, and will more than likely be rewritten many times.

Next, I am one of those authors that likes to play music in the background that suits each situation. I have included links to the songs I listened to while writing this story, if you care to use them.

I will post more chapters as I have time, or as long as inspiration holds out.

Thanks for your time, everypony!

This makes things harder, that's for sure. Now I have to find a way past this elevator if I ever want to get out of here. I make a quick check of my mental map of the building to see if there are any other accessible elevators. When my search comes up fruitless, I step into the elevator.

"Hm, in emergency situations, there's always a way out of the elevator, like a hatch or something. Let's see if I can find one." I find that thinking aloud helps a great deal, as it keeps me from thinking about how fucking insane this entire situation really is.

I cast my gaze around the interior of the elevator, and sure enough, I find a hatch in the roof of the car. Grinning, I grasp the handle and yank downwards...only for me to realize that it's locked. "Come on, can I get a break here?!" I snap at the hatch. Unfortunately, the hatch doesn't feel like explaining itself.

It seems to be held shut by a simple deadbolt. I whip out a lock pick and...pah, I wish. That would be dumb. Nobody knows how to use a lockpick in college, especially not a nerd like me. Dammit, why can't I be like one of those characters in stories that are perfect at everything?

I hold both hands over my head and slam them into the hatch, hoping to force it open. Seeing how rusted everything is, I'm thinking that the deadbolt may be in a similar state of disrepair.

The hatch resists the first hit, though I can heard creaking and snapping. I hit it again, and get a similar result. Two more hits and the deadbolt snaps, allowing the hatch to open outwards. Finally, some good fortune at last. Now let's get out of here.

I reach up and grab the edge of the square hole. Now it's just a matter of pulling myself up. I strain my muscles as hard as I can, but it really hurts. Damn, how does that Tomb Raider chick make it look so easy?! Ignoring the pain, I hoist myself into the elevator shaft. I almost fall down when I realize that the elevator car is not stable. I can hear a creaking sound again, and my blood runs cold when I see that the cables holding up the car are practically rusted through.

I hurl myself at the ladder on the wall of the shaft just as the cables snap with a horrendous screech and the elevator plummets into the basement level of the building. I grab desperately at the rungs of the ladder, but the first one I touch breaks under my weight and I fall several feet before I grab a lower, more stable rung.

Finally in a stable position, I remain as still as possible as I wait for my heart to stop beating at my rib cage. I feel like I'm about to hyperventilate. Then, I wince as I hear the sound of the elevator crashing into the lower floors.

"Son of a bitch, that was close," I pant. My voice echoes into the blackness of the elevator shaft, twisting it in a strange manner. Well, I'm not going to talk until I get out of the shaft. That was fucking creepy.

Okay, let's get moving. One rung after the other. One rung after the other. I've got a long way to go before I reach the top floor. When I reach the gap in the ladder created by my desperate fall, I end up having to balance on the unbroken rungs with only my feet, while one hand reaches for the next intact rung. Praying that it will hold, I latch onto that one rung and pull myself up, ignoring the pain. I can hear the concrete cracking, so with one very painful burst of strength, I launch myself up to the next stable rung. Just in time too, because that rung I was yanking on just fell out of the wall. Goddammit, I wish I knew more about what happened to this place.

The next few minutes seem to blur together. It feels like every part of my body hurts. I can't keep myself from grunting in exertion every time I change rungs. I hate ladders. When I get out of here, I will light every single ladder in existence on fire.

On my way up, I pass two more doors that lead out into the second and third floor, respectively. They're both closed, which means I'm going to have to find a way to open the one up top without falling to my death.

When I reach the fourth floor, I edge my way onto the tiny ass ledge in front of the door, glad to be off of that infernal ladder. I take a moment catch my breath. My arms are burning like crazy, making me regret being too lazy to hit the gym.

There's barely enough room to stand on this thing. Oh god...one wrong move, and I'm dead. When I look at the door, I'm suddenly happy. The door is ajar already, but not by much. It's enough for me to slip through into the fourth floor.

If I remember correctly, the security room is at the end of this hall. I'm not under any illusions that the consoles will even work, but I feel like there should be some form of backup power, especially for security footage.

Honestly, I just want to see what happened between me and that man from a different perspective. Maybe that'll help me get a sense of how I ended up in this situation. So it doesn't matter how slim the chance is.

I don't get much further down the hallway before I am stopped cold. On the ground, with its spine braced against the wall, is a human skeleton.

"What the fuck?!" I scream, getting as far away from it as possible. "What in the hell happened when I was out? How did he die? HOW LONG WAS I OUT THAT HIS FLESH HAD ENOUGH TIME TO ROT AWAY?!"

I'm starting to get a terrible inkling of what may have happened, but there's no way I'm going to acknowledge it. Whoever that was is dead now. That skeleton won't hurt me...but it's creepy as fuck. I'm getting scared. I know this place is dangerous because of how everything is in terrible condition, but is there something else out there? Something dangerous enough to warrant shooting at it all these bullets whose casings I see everywhere?

I can't think that way, or I'm going to go insane. I move past the skeleton. As I do, I notice that it's holding a rifle. Holy hell, if that thing still works, that'll do wonders for making me feel at ease.

The skeleton's hands are clenched around the handle of the rifle. I cringe as I try to take the gun from it. I'm trying not to touch those bones...I've never touched a dead body, and I'm not about to start. I shut my eyes and tug on the gun. I hear a sickening crack, and the gun comes free. I open my eyes again to see that I had torn its finger bones off, and they were now scattered on the floor.

I have no fucking idea how to use this thing. I know you point and shoot, but I don't know anything about how to hold it to keep from getting hurt. Where's the safety on this thing? There it is. It's on the side. I'll leave it on.

Turning the gun over gives me no clues on what kind it is, nor if there's even any ammo in it. I'll use it when the time comes, but if worst comes to worst, it'll make a good club.

The door to the security room is...on the ground, shattered to pieces, the wood now rotting. On the larger pieces, I could see...are those claw marks? I can't help it. I start hyperventilating. I can't seem to get enough air, causing me to fall against the doorway.

I need to get out of here. I'm going to do what I came to do, and then I'm getting the absolute fuck out of dodge.

In the security room, the computer consoles are arrayed against the opposite wall, with several damaged monitors covered almost the rest of the wall's surface area. There are cords running everywhere, and I even think...oh hell yes. There's a separate generator in this room. Damn, I love life sometimes. Only sometimes though. I'd love it more if I was back outside.

A single punch of the power button later, and the generator in the room sputters to life. Some of the screens power on, though a lot of them are corrupted with static or broken screens.

To my surprise, there's no login screen. It immediately takes me to a screen where I can access the security footage. That's odd. If I were in charge, there would be password locks all over this. What sort of crisis could cause the administration of this school to bypass all security protocols?

Well, whatever the case, I can access the footage I need. However, as my eyes scroll to the first video, I start. What? The last date of recorded footage was on February 12th, 2083?! That has to be a typo, or a miscalculation. Putting that aside, I begin to scroll down, but then I note a file marked by an exclamation mark.

02/27/2014 Southern Stairwell: Math Wing: Concerning Subject Alpha

The 27th? That's today's date. Or at least that's the date my phone is telling me. Who or what is Subject Alpha? That sounds less like school administration and more along the lines of...military. Of course. For some reason, the military entered this building while I was unconscious. That explains why I found a damn rifle on a dead body. The staff didn't have that kind of weaponry, nor did they need it.

I hesitantly click on the file, and the video starts to play. An image of the stairwell that I had fallen unconscious in appeared, in the later part of the school day. I can see all of the different students walking to class. Then, I see myself walking through the bottom stairs, on my way to computer science. Wow, that's weird. No matter how many times you see it, you never get used to seeing yourself on camera.

But this means that I'm an hour behind what I want to see. I fast forward until the time when my class ends is displayed. Now, it was about the time where the students were already home, as there aren't that many that take late classes.

Finally, I see the man who had hit me walked into the bottom of the stairwell. I watch him carefully, hoping to see something that would help me understand all of this.

Strangely, the moment he walks on screen, a label appears above his head. It read "Sombra." Is that his name? It's definitely not a word I've heard of before, so I guess that's a safe assumption. At least I can call him something other than "the man."

Sombra raises his hands in the video, and a strange green orb appeared between them, steadily growing in size until it was about the size of a soccer ball. My eyes bug out. He just created something from nothing. What sorcery is this?! Despite how impossible this seems, that explains the strange green glow I saw.

Then, I see myself walk out from the top floor, listening to my music like an idiot. Then, to my shock, a label appears above me as well. This one read, "Subject Alpha." So I'm Subject Alpha? I'm so confused. I feel there is something huge going on behind the scenes that I just can't see. What is the connection between Sombra, me, and the state of this place?

My past self collides with Sombra just as I remember, but this time I see that same green orb go right into my chest, disappearing into my body. I instinctively look down at my chest, but there's nothing to indicate a change of any kind. So what that green orb the "spell" Sombra had been going on about? But...that would hint that he had been using magic. That's not possible. Magic...isn't a thing. Trust me. If it is as easy as believing in magic to use it, then every kid should have been able to do it. Magic is just the brainchild of creative authors, not something...that could have put me out for hours on end. I don't want to think about this. I don't want to admit that my preconceptions of this world could be wrong. Hell, it won't just be my preconceptions, but those of every single scientist in the world!

The video continues on, and I again watch Sombra fucking manhandle me like I'm nothing, and then doing his creepy stalker shit where he circles me and starts talking in early modern english. But I don't care about that. When it gets to the point where I've fallen unconscious, I start watching carefully.

I watch with disbelieving eyes as my unconscious body rises into the air, my limbs flopping around like a ragdoll. That same green glow is emanating from my chest like a damn spotlight. Then, the green orb that was in my chest suddenly expands to encompass my body entirely, and then orb, me, and everything within a short radius of me completely winked out of existence.

The video ends there, but my shock doesn't. "What in the world did I just see? Sombra...what did you do to me?" I whispered, my voice shaking.

I have to see more. I click on the latest video; this is the one that was mistakenly dated almost eighty years in the future. When this one plays, it's actually a recording of this very room.

"This is the final report of Captain Maka Rogers, dated February 12th, 2083. The Oppressed have broken into the building and are demolishing our defenses. Our escape routes have been cut off; it's only a matter of time before they get here," the woman in the video says urgently, though the audio is scratchy.

Wait a minute, Rogers? Come to think of it, she looks a lot like my brother...but how is that possible? 2083?! You mean that wasn't a typo? THAT SOMBRA BASTARD ZAPPED ME INTO THE FUTURE?!

Behind Maka, I can see other heavily armed soldiers running to and fro. I can even hear the sounds of gunfire in the distance. What in the hell was going on? What were the Oppressed?

"Our struggle has ended. This recording is a means of saving information for the next civilization to discover. The one who has defeated the human race calls himself King Sombra, and not only possesses untold power of an unknown nature, but also the ability to twist and contort human flesh into grotesque quadruped forms that we call the Oppressed," Maka continues. Before she can keep talking, a soldier runs up to her.

"Captain! They have broken past the third floor barricade and are heading this direction!" the soldier shouted over the gunfire. Maka looked grim.

"How much time do we have?" she demanded.

"Three minutes, at the most," the soldier admitted. For some reason, Maka smiled, placing a hand on the soldier's shoulder.

"Private Grant, it has been an honor working with you. It has been an honor working with all of you," she calls to the other soldiers. In response, the other soldiers voice similar reactions or solute. "My last order to you...is die with honor, and join our families in the heavens."

Maka turns back to the consoles as the soldiers cheer. I can see one of the soldiers shutting the door to the security room, deadbolting it shut. Seconds later, something hits the other side, and the door splinters.

"To whoever hears this, I have one last piece of advice for you. Sombra has already returned to the future, but his goal is clear. You MUST not let him find Subject Alpha...my uncle. If he does...then..." Maka says, but before she can finish explaining, the door is completely annihilated, and then a veritable wave of twisted, grotesque...things swarm through the door like the tide, slashing and biting everything in their way with long, sharp claws and vicious, slobbering teeth.

I clap a hand to my mouth in horror, trying not to cry out as I watch the soldiers die en masse. The soldiers can't do anything. They can't even manage to fire their guns more than once or twice before they are torn apart by what equates to quadruped zombies.

Maka manages to deal some serious damage with a grenade, but she can't stop their immense numbers. I can only watch as one of the Oppressed grabs her by the throat with one of its...hands? Claws? Paws? Hooves? Fuckin...whatever. But right before it tears her to pieces, she lifts up a detonator and presses the button.

I have to look away, tears running down my face. I hear the explosion, but I don't want to look at those things tearing that brave woman apart.

The video ends there...and so does my mental strength. I collapse into a sitting position against the wall, even as the computer shuts itself off as the generator uses the last of its fuel. So much new information has been handed to me. So many thoughts run through my head, I can hardly sort through them even as I write this. I'll attempt to summarize them, though.

I have to sort through all this. Whether or not I believe it is besides the point. That man who used his sorcery or whatever on me...his name is King Sombra, and he apparently came from the future and exterminated the human race. For some reason, I'm really important to him, which makes sense considering how angry he was when I absorbed that...whatever it was.

That's not even the worst part...I'm in the future too. By at least eighty years. Which means...that everyone I know and love is probably...oh fuck, if I accept that as true, they are already dead because of Sombra...which means...

I fall onto my knees, tearing at my hair. I can't help but sob into my hands. My mother is dead. I'll never have another argument with her again. My brother is dead. I'll never watch anime with him again. Amaryllis...is dead. I slam my fist against the ground, not even caring when bits of debris stab into my skin and draw blood. Amaryllis is dead. I will never...I will never love again. This isn't fair. In what seemed to be less than a few minutes, I've lost my entire life. Everyone I've ever cared about is gone. The niece that I didn't even know I had is dead, torn apart right in front of me.

Fuck, I'm not even out of college. I'm not strong enough to deal with all of this. No one should have to deal with the death of their entire race.

"God...goddammit...why?!" I scream at the ceiling. When I think about it...my niece...she was named Maka. My brother...Adam...he named his daughter after the main character of Soul Eater: the first anime we had ever watched together. This fact just makes me cry even harder. I don't know which is worse, knowing that someone would never love me, or that someone did, and I put them through the same pain that I'm feeling now.

Adam...I'm so sorry. I wish I had told you how much you meant to me. Only now do I see just how much I meant to you.

Maka...I wish I had been given the chance to love you the way you deserved. That was no world to raise a child in.

Mother...I wish I had told you I loved you on the phone earlier. She's dead, and the last conversation I had with her was me being an ass, as always.

Amaryllis...why had I been such a cynical asshole? Why couldn't I just grow a pair and tell you how I felt about you? You were my only real friend...the only one who understood me. Hell, you knew me better than I knew myself. Why couldn't I have just told you? You deserved to know...you didn't deserve this fate I left the world with.

"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" I yelled as loud as I could, until my voice gave out. I stood up slowly, the anger roiling inside of me like a hurricane. I grabbed a table nearby and threw it at the now useless computer monitors, shattering them. I stormed around the room, destroying anything I could find.

When there was nothing left to destroy...I stood in the last bastion of mankind. I was the last one of our kind. The last human. Why am I the one who gets to live, when everyone else is dead?

One thought was present in my head as I turned my empty eyes to the doorway.

"I'm going to fucking MURDER that Sombra," I growled, my voice coming out hoarse from all the screaming.

As I move towards the door, I hear something. It almost sounded like a horse was walking down the hallway, only instead of clopping, its hooves were making a strange click-sccraaape. I freeze, knowing exactly what it was that was outside that room. That rhythm...it had four legs. That clicking and scraping...it has claws. It makes sense that there'd be one left.

"So...the Oppressed have come for me, huh?" I said in an oddly calm voice. I hefted the rifle, clicking off the safety. There's only one way to find out if this thing still works.

I turn the corner and charge down the hallway towards one of the creatures responsible for the death of mankind, not caring at all that I could get myself killed. Everyone I knew and loved is dead. Why the fuck should I care that I could die too?

The creature I'm running towards is a complete mockery of mankind. It's as if someone had completely ripped the skin off of a human being, and then haphazardly wrapped it around the wire frame of a small horse, like a pony. It looks nothing like a horse. It is an abomination.

What is worse is that I can tell who the Oppressed used to be. That blonde hair. Those empty green eyes. I'm looking at what's left of Maka. My rage peaks.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" I yell at the creature, getting its attention. It snarls and moves to attack me, but I'm already there. The butt of my gun slams into the side of its head. The Oppressed is knocked to the side, as I had put all my strength into that hit.

I'm not done. I leap at the creature and bash down on its head with enough strength to break through the skin, drawing blood. I don't stop. I continuously bash down on it over and over, ignoring the agonized screeching it was making.

Suddenly, the creature slams the back of one of its limbs into my stomach, winding me and pushing me back into the wall. My back collides with the wall painfully. The Oppressed is on me like a whirlwind, its claws whipping through the air. I yelp and duck under its claws, which cut into the wooden wall like it wasn't even there.

I ram my shoulder into its chest, putting all of my body weight into the attack. I knock the creature back, but its claws rake along my shoulders, tearing my shirt and drawing blood.

When the creature tried to rise, I ran at it. I kicked it viciously, and then rammed the barrel of my rifle into the creature's gaping mouth. I pulled the trigger with a roar. The ancient gun roared to life, deafening me, but it was still one of the most glorious sounds in the world, topped only by the agonized screaming of the Oppressed as the bullets shot through the soft inner lining of its throat, into its brain, and out the other side, painting the wall with its blackened blood.

I keep firing until the gun runs out of ammo, and then I step back, watching the remains of my niece breathe its last. "If I can never love you like you deserve to be loved...freeing your soul from...this...is the least I can do for you. Rest in piece, Maka Rogers." I utter reverently in a wavering voice. The tears come once more, but I don't break down like before. I let the liquid drip down my cheeks as I walk down the hallway towards the stairwell.

The roof access is just inside the stairwell, consisting of a crimson ladder that led to a hatch that was designed so that it could be easily opened. I climb the ladder, noting with some satisfaction that the rungs were still sturdy. I reached the hatch and untightened the wheel keeping it shut.

The moment the hatch was free, it slammed open without me touching it again. A fucking torrent of dirt cascades over me, knocking me off the ladder and to the ground. "Fuck!" I yell out as several pounds of dirt cover my body.

Once the stream of dirt dissipates, I force myself to stand up, letting the earth slide off of me. Now, what with the blood and tears, I'm a total mess. My clothes and skin are covered in dirt. Now I need to find some water to clean my wounds, or they are going to get infected.

Looking back up at the hatch, I sigh and get moving again. I climb through the hatch and find that I'm in a very narrow tunnel of dirt that leads up...to the night sky. Oh praise the whatever...I'm outside again!

I lever myself out of the hole and onto the ground once more. I breathe in a good lungful of that fresh air...and then promptly bend over and have a coughing fit because dirt got in my throat.

A quick look around the area lets me know that I'm in a forest. This isn't that surprising, considering the tree roots poking through the entire building. No, this is good. In a forest, I can find food from small animals, and water from creeks and rainfall. If I'm the last human, then there's nowhere for me to go. Everyone's dead. There's no civilization.

Just great. I'm motherfucking Robinson Crusoe in a post apocalyptic setting. Or I could just die of exposure. Or an animal could kill me. Fuck, I don't know what I want. Should I keep living? Or do I just lay down and die, and hope that I can join my family and friends up in the afterlife?

I can't make that kind of decision just yet. I pick a random direction and start walking. The makeshift bandage that I've been using is now completely soaked through with blood. I don't have anything to patch it up with. I guess I'll be dying of blood loss in the near future. Well, until then, I might as well keep exploring.

This forest is one messed up place. The plants are all twisted around the trees like parasites, and the trees themselves are warped and gnarled. What is this place, the fucking Korcari Wilds?

I can hear the animals skittering around the underbrush, but none of them are stupid enough to walk into view. That's fine. I'm gonna die anyway. Might as well make it happen sooner rather than later.

I don't get much farther before I hear a rustling from a nearby bush. I turn my head, and the first thing I see are two glowing green eyes. "That...can't be good," I said haltingly, taking a step back.

A growl not unlike that of an angry dog emanates from the bush, and then the weirdest fucking creature stalks out. It's a wolf. But not just any normal wolf. This thing is made out of wood! It literally looks like a wooden wire frame of a wolf! How the hell is it moving? How is it alive? Where are the vocal cords needed to make those growls?

Science aside...those teeth look really sharp. And I think it wants to have me for dinner. How it'll digest me without a stomach, however, is besides the point. The point...I would rather not have anywhere near me. "I don't surprise you're friendly?" I ask it hopefully.

The moment I finish talking, the wolf leaps at me with a snarl. Its front claws slice down on my chest, even as it knocks me clear off of my feet. Once again, I find myself landing on my back.

Right as the wolf is lunging to bite down on my face, I bring up my rifle and jam it into its open jaws. It's crazy strong for such a thing wolf, so I have to use both hands to hold those snapping jaws away from my throat. Since both hands are occupied, its front claws are tearing at my arms, causing me to cry out in pain.

I bring my knee up into the wolf's middle, and I hear something snap. The wolf backs off, yelping in pain.

So what does a man do when he's bleeding heavily and has only an empty rifle for a weapon? He runs the fuck away. So that's what I do. I turn the other direction and just fucking book it.

"Shit shit shit shit shit!" I curse even as I run. "This day just gets worse and worse..."

That's the understatement of the century. I'm sprinting through the undergrowth now, knocking thin boughs and thickets out of my way as I blindly try and put as much distance between me and that goddamn wolf. What do you even call a wolf made of wood? A timberwolf?

I chance a look behind me. What I see spurs me on to ignore the pain in my everywhere, and put on a burst of speed. Behind me, not only is that one wolf really trying to catch up to me, it also brought friends. Yeah. An entire pack of fucking timberwolves is chasing me. Why is it that everything I've met since waking up wants TO FUCKING KILL ME?!

A leafy bough that I pushed out of my way swipes back in my direction, cutting into my cheek and leaving behind a stinging gash. "Ouch, goddammit," I hissed in agony. Looking ahead, I spot a light blaring from the darkness. I don't care what it is. I change my course to head straight for it. I can hear the damn timberwolves catching up to me. I don't have much time before they overtake me and rip me to shreds.

The source of the light reveals itself as a window carved into the side of a large tree. There's even a door set into it, with a menacing looking mask pinned to the trunk above it. Fucking...I don't even stop to think about it. I hurl open the door and slam it shut behind me. The wolves slam into it seconds later, barking and whining in frustration.

"SUCK IT! I'M NOT DYING TODAY!" I shout back at them, even though I doubt they can understand me. I let out a crazed laugh, reveling in my newfound safety. "I must be going crazy."

"Well, now, this is quite the surprise. What manner of being presents itself before my eyes?" I hear a deep, female voice say. If I didn't know better, I'd say that her voice had hints of African American descent in it.

I raise my eyes to see the strangest creature. If I had to guess I'd say I was looking at a zebra, but it seemed too small. Its blue eyes were also larger than they should be, and let's not even count the rings and earrings decorating its body, almost as if it had personalized its appearance.

"I know you are able to speak. Use your voice now, don't be meek." My jaw drops as I see the zebra moving its lips. That fucker is talking to me.

"Yup...I'm definitely going crazy."

---

I had a bit of trouble writing this one, so I certainly expect some criticism. I'm not that good at emotional breakdowns, but I think I managed to get down the structure of what he was thinking/feeling at that moment. I can just build from here.

Indeed, and now King Sombra and Zecora make their appearance, which means we are finally in the world we know and love.

I'll have the next chapter out soon.

Over an indeterminate period, I drift in and out of unconsciousness. It feels wonderful. After all the shit I just went through, I really needed a sleep like this.

Finally, my eyes open, and full awareness returns to me. Unfortunately, the first sensations I feel are dull pains all over my body. I have this killer headache, and my side stings like a motherfucker. When I try to move my arms, I wince. Well, I guess it wasn't just my side. Oh right, my arms and shoulders were sliced to ribbons by that damn timberwolf.

Oh shit that reminds me. Where the hell am I? I remember running into a structure of some kind built into a tree, but that's about it. I was under the impression that there wasn't any civilization left, thanks to that Sombra bastard. So whose house was I in?

I take a quick look at myself. To my surprise, all of my wounds have been bandaged tightly and treated with...are those herbs? My injuries don't hurt as much as they did before, so I assume I've been treated by a medical professional. Oh, that would be glorious if there was a doctor left alive.

Then, I realize with a start that I'm completely naked. Also, all of that dirt that had been stuck to my skin has been mostly cleaned. Someone's been taking good care of me, and I'm getting incredibly curious about who I'm dealing with.

I take a look around in an attempt to find out more about this place I'm staying in. I'm resting in a modern bed with white sheets and a yellow comforter, and I can feel fluffy pillows under my head. This bed is placed in a wooden alcove that surrounds me on three sides, and all I can see from here is a wooden wall. On this wall, a few shelves are installed, on which several multicolored bottles are stored. They are labeled in a language I can't understand.

Pain shoots through my body when I attempt to sit up. "Ah, shit!" I curse rather loudly, and I give up the attempt. I guess it's too early in my treatment for me to move. Well, I guess this won't be a problem. I could just use my laptop and r...oh wait. I left my goddamn bag in the school, and there's no way I'm going back there. Not in a million years. Even with the laptop, there's likely no internet, seeing as every human except for me and my unknown benefactor is dead. Also, no electricity, so once my phone dies...it's gone for good. Well, this just plain sucks.

"Is that your voice that I hear? For your health, I was beginning to fear." I freeze as I hear that African-esque voice again. So I hadn't been dreaming that part. I guess I get to meet this mysterious doctor that probably saved my life, for better or worse.

"Yep, I'm awake and shit," I reply bluntly, not even caring to temper my language. Everyone's dead; there's no point in censoring myself.

In response, I hear the sound of clopping hooves. I tense up immediately, and then relax when I don't hear that click-scraping that the Oppressed make. If it had been an Oppressed in here, I would already be dead.

That same zebra from before canters into view. Huh. So I wasn't dreaming that part either. Still, for a zebra, it looks really weird. Are those eyes normal? And what's with the get-up? Then the zebra fucking smiles at me. How the fuck...animals don't smile. What...I don't even. At this point, I don't know what's worse. The fact that a zebra can smile, or that it is actually somewhat reassuring.

"That is quite a relief. Your death would have brought me much grief." My jaw drops as the zebra fucking talks to me. No, there's no ventriloquist bullshit going on. I can physically see its lips moving in time with the words.

"Holy shit, it talks!?" I can't help but scream. The zebra actually chuckles at my response. Zebras laughing like humans. Now I've seen everything.

"Indeed, I am able to speak. My name is Zecora, if that is what you seek." The zebra confirmed my suspicions. This is the weirdest shit. Also...is it rhyming? That's the third time in a row it-well I should probably call it "she," now- has rhymed.

"Okay, not the weirdest thing I've seen recently, but pretty up there," I rationalize, half to myself and half to Zecora. I can't believe I'm talking to a fucking zebra that can talk back. Why have no humans discovered an animal like this? Or maybe, Zecora feels safe to live on the surface now that the humans are dead. Wow, that was a dark thought. Anyhow, I should probably introduce myself too. I'm an asshole, but I can at least show basic courtesy. "My name is Seth Rogers. I can't say it's a pleasure, considering," I say, looking down at how injured I am. Zecora nods in understanding.

"Your injuries were very severe, though how you obtained them is not yet clear," she replies. Okay, now I know something's up. That's the fourth time she's rhymed. It's starting to get annoying. Not to mention confusing. Might as well bite the bullet and ask.

"So what's up with the rhyming?" I ask bluntly. Surprisingly, I don't see any sign of irritation on her part at my sudden change of subject. Instead, she chuckles a bit.

"My rhymes are the source of a small blue blossom. The effects of which, I've come to find quite awesome," Zecora explained. Oh come on! Blossom and awesome? That's just stretching it...but it's also kind of impressive. Not that I'll ever tell her that.

"Wait, so a blue flower caused you to rhyme all the time?" Oh great, now I'm rhyming too. Oh well, at least I've got good timing...wait...goddammit I did it again. "How is that even possible?"

"It is difficult to understand magic's effects. It is a much deeper subject than one suspects," Zecora answers. I give her a deadpan stare. I asked her a question, and she literally responded with "magic." Seriously? I'm still having difficulties believing that magic is real, despite the evidence I've been given. Well, I suppose that's not exactly true. I'm just not ready to accept everything I hear at face value.

"Right...so...I guess you want to know what I am. I'm assuming you've never seen any thing like me," I continue on awkwardly, hoping to change the subject. When I see Zecora nod, I add, "Tell you what. If you answer my questions, then I'll answer yours."

Seconds later, my stomach gives off a growl, telling me that I hadn't had any food since yesterday after noon. "But before that, think I could get some food?" I inquire hopefully. Zecora breaks out into a smile and trots out of sight.

So, I've gone from meeting a demon equivalent of Hitler to playing twenty questions with a talking zebra. Life's funny that way.

A few moments later, Zecora returns with two steaming bowls of some kind of soup. I can't go into eating this holding any preconceptions of food. I have no idea what she puts in her soup, but I'm hungry enough not to care.

Wait a minute, how the fuck is she holding those...is she balancing those bowls on her hooves? And walking on her hind legs? What is up with this zebra?

I thankfully take the soup off of her hoof when she offers it to me. I look around for a spoon, and then I realize that I'm not going to get one. Zecora has hooves. You can't hold a spoon with hooves. Though I find it odd how the hell zebras evolved to have vocal cords and intelligent brains over only eighty years in the first place.

Lifting the bowl to my mouth, I let some of the amber liquid seep into my mouth. My eyes widen at the taste. Wow, that's really good. The most prominent taste is honey, but I can also detect mushrooms in there, along with some kind of spice. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was basil. "Not bad," I commented. Zecora smiles with satisfaction, and then watches me expectantly. "All right. I might as well start. I'm human. Homo Sapiens if you want to get technical. Stand on two legs, omnivorous, and mostly intelligent."

"In ancient legends and ruins, ponykind has heard of your name. Among historians, your species has garnered much fame," Zecora responded with awe in her voice. She then gazed at me in a new way, as learning this new tidbit about me was enough to earn her full attention.

That aside. Hold on a minute. Did she just say that humans were a thing of legend? There are ruins of us lying around? I can honestly say I feel like the damn Romans. Then another thought occurs to me. I thought I had only been out for eighty years. If there was enough time for all the achievements of the human race to become ruins, then how much time really passed? And wait...ponykind? Is she trying to suggest that there's a civilization of ponies running around? That has to be the most dumbest thing I've ever heard. It sounds like something out of a damn cartoon.

I have all of these questions, but I can only ask one before it's Zecora's turn again. "Well then, I didn't expect to hear that. Now...what in the nine hells are you?" I demanded. In hindsight, that was probably a dumb question to ask, but I have to know for sure.

"I am of the zebra variety. I hope that this answer, ceases your anxiety," Zecora answered with a smile. Holy shit, she managed to make a rhyme with variety. This chick is serious.

"You can't be a zebra," I told her flatly. Zecora looks back at me, dumbfounded. "I know what a zebra is, and they don't talk."

"Then prepare yourself for a disappointment. My words appear to belie your statement," she returned with a look of amusement on her face. Oh would you look at that. The zebra can make facial expressions. I don't know how I feel about this. You know what, fuck it. It's much easier to refer to her as a zebra than "an as yet unknown species of intelligent animal that happens to look like a zebra."

"Fair enough, I guess. Your turn Zecora," I concede, not willing to argue the point. While she thinks up her next question, I greedily gulp down some of the soup...and then immediately regret it because it's still hot.

"As far as I've heard, your kind is naught but sand. Would you care to tell me how you came to this land?" Zecora questions, and then she sips at her soup. You know, doing the smart thing instead of pouring a super hot liquid down your throat. Also, "sand?" Don't you mean...dust? Oh, but of course, dust doesn't rhyme with land.

"Honestly, I know very little about how I came here. I guess the only way I can explain it is the same way you explain your rhymes. Fucking magic," I remarked. It's only a half truth, at best, but I just met this zebra. There's no way I'm going to trust her with everything I've gone through. No, I'll get through this on my own. I'll use Zecora to get some information and to get patched up, and then I'm out of here. I have no idea where I'd go, but I need to find some clue as to where Sombra is. I still need to shove a brick up his asshole.

"To not know one's origins is an unfortunate woe. I, for one, recall a unicorn who would have liked to know," Zecora says in a sympathetic tone. Yeah, that's great and all, but...hang on, did she say unicorn? Okay, scratch what I said earlier about being in a cartoon. I feel like I'm in a cartoon for little girls!

"My turn then. Can you tell me about the land I am in right now?" I grin a bit as I say this. I've phrased my question in such a way that Zecora will have to give me a lot of information. Hey, have fun composing a poem for THAT! I don't even know why I care so much that she rhymes every two sentences.

Zecora brings a hoof to her mouth, as if thinking. It's weird to see all these human like mannerisms from a damn zebra. While she thinks, I drink a bit of my soup, almost choking as I accidentally swallow a mushroom whole.

"Equestria is the name of our fair nation. Of peacetime, there is no cessation. Ponies primarily live here. To the princesses, they are subjects most dear. Unfortunately, all else that I can say would seem trite. You would be better off speaking with Twilight," she finally related to me. I glance at her, impressed that she managed to pull off all those rhymes.

Now, speaking in rhymes tends to muddle the information, so I took a moment to sort out what she had said in my head. I'm in a country called...snrrk...Equestria. God, that's so fucking dumb. And I was apparently right when I said there might be a civilization of ponies running around. Is this really happening right now? Humans are replaced by ponies as the apex race? There's so much stupid right now, I don't know if I can take it.

Equestria is apparently ruled by princesses. I don't if that means there's a king or queen that doesn't do shit, but whatever. Now, I don't know how to speak with the twilight, considering that's a time of day. I swear, if she tells me that each time of the day is a living entity, I might die from laughing so hard.

"Who or what is Twilight?" I pressed. I receive a knowing look from Zecora in return. "Oh...right. It's not my turn anymore."

"The end of the human race must have been tragic. Tell me, did your kind use any magic?" She takes a long draft of her soup after she finishes talking. I raise an eyebrow. Seems like the first half of that statement is unnecessary. Heh, it's funny to see the measures she takes to make a rhyme.

"What? No, humans don't use magic. Hell, I didn't even know magic was a thing until yesterday. And I'm STILL not quite sure I believe it's actually magic, and not just very high-end technology." I wish I could use magic. I'd have torn that Sombra bastard a new asshole. Scratch that, I'd turn his entire body to ash.

"Hm...that statement proves many scientists wrong. The belief in that theory was quite strong." Zecora looks interested and troubled at the same time. I feel my ego swell a bit at the thought of proving some stuffed up suits completely wrong. So essentially, this situation is like I'm a Roman, visiting a historian and telling them, "Oh, by the way, Caesar was actually killed by me." Of course, that's not true, but it would still be fucking hilarious to see.

"Well, sucks to be them. Anyway, answer my last question," I snap, somewhat impatient. I finish my soup while she thinks up her answer. I'm now pleasantly full, which is surprising because I don't remember soup as all that filling.

"Twilight Sparkle is the personal student of the Solar Princess. She resides in the nearby town of Ponyville, where she has met much success," Zecora answers without missing a beat. Hang on what? There's a pony called Twilight Sparkle? I can't help it. I burst out laughing, startling Zecora. Twilight Sparkle? Seriously? I bet she's a vampire too.

"There's...snrkk...a town called Ponyville?" I choke out between laughs. However, Zecora gives me that look again. "Oh come on! It's a yes or no question!"

Zecora hesitates, and then nods. I laugh harder at that. "There's a bunch of ponies running around in a town called Ponyville! How totally original! Why, I'm so inspired I'll go start up a colony and call it Humanville!" Except I can't, because every other human is dead. I see Zecora frown at my rude humor, but I could honestly care less what she thinks. I'm the last human. People...or should I say...ponies will talk to me whether I'm an asshole or not.

"I only saw you on your desperate run. Are there more humans than just one?" Zecora asks softly, causing my laughter to die off immediately. Did she really have to ask that fucking question?

"No. My family is dead. My friends are dead. Everyone's dead. It's just me. I'm the only one left," I answered sharply. The edge in my voice causes Zecora's head to snap back. Yeah, now she gets how bad of a question that was. Suddenly, I feel a pressure on my shoulder, though not on my injury. I turn to see Zecora gazing at me with sympathy in her blue eyes. It's her hoof resting on my shoulder, as if she's trying to reassure me. Yeah. Like that's going to work. I lightly push the hoof off. "Sympathy won't bring them back," I muttered.

There's an awkward silence after that. Eventually, I see Zecora take the bowls away to wherever her kitchen is. Now that she's gone, I turn my gaze back to the ceiling. Wow, I'm already tired, and I haven't even done much other than talk. Guess my body isn't ready for movement just yet.

Right as I'm starting to drift off, Zecora appears again, this time holding a glass of what I assume to be water atop her hoof. Still don't know how the hell she does that. When she offers it to me, I take it gratefully. "Thank you," I say to her gruffly, and then I drain the glass dry in a matter of seconds, because I'm thirsty as hell. When I'm done with the first glass, Zecora takes it away and produces another glass for me to drink, which I do.

"Do you mind if we take a break so I can get some sleep? I'm really tired for some reason," I queried, not looking at her.

"Ah, I should have known our discourse would have reduced your stamina by some. If you need me, call, and I will come." Zecora leaves me alone and canters back out of sight. I'll take that as a yes.

All it takes is a few seconds before I succumb to the blissful embrace of sleep.

---

The next morning, I wake up to hear the sound of Zecora humming in the main room of which I have yet to see. She must be cooking, because I can detect a pleasant aroma in the air.

I try to move again. Oh, well it still hurts like a bitch. Not as much as yesterday, but there it is. I can at least move my head, neck, and even my arms, as long as I don't bump them or anything. Looking at my arms, I can see that the bandages wrapped around them aren't stained with blood, like they were before. I guess that means that at some point, while I was asleep, Zecora must have changed my bandages. I'm not sure how I feel about her poking and prodding all around my naked body while I'm unconscious, but I'm at least grateful for the first aid.

On a side note, I really need to pee. I haven't moved from this bed in who knows how long.

"Uh...Zecora? Is there a bathroom or something around here?" I call to her hesitantly. Her humming stops the moment I start talking, and then I can hear the sound of her hooves clopping across the floor. Soon, she turns the corner, a smile on her face.

"It is good to see you awake. If you'll give me just a few minutes, your breakfast I will make." Zecora greeted me with a rhyme as always, but I'm actually starting to get used to them, believe it or not. It's like having my own personal poet. Oh hell, I bet she'd be a damn good singer. Maybe I should ask? That would be a laugh.

"Thanks for the..." I trail off as I see Zecora sliding a small pan near the bed. "I have to use that, don't I? Goddammit."

It makes sense, considering my injuries. However, since most of my wounds are concentrated on my upper body, I should be able to start walking soon. I wait until Zecora leaves the area completely, and then I try to position myself appropriately. That's a bit hard though. I'm trying to move my body without irritating my wounds...oh fuck it. "Ah...son of a bitch!" I curse as I push myself upright with my right arm. My back is killing me, thanks to that blasted Oppressed I fought, and the cuts on my arm are burning like fire.

It's easier to move around now that I'm in a sitting position, so I take the opportunity and relieve myself into the pan. Afterwards, I lay back down, sighing as the pain abates after a few seconds. "Well, I've never been confined to my bed before. I don't think I like it," I remarked to myself.

"I am sorry if you are bored. If you would like to read a book, I have many of them stored." Apparently Zecora heard me. Huh, a book actually sounds good. Wait, they have books? Does that mean ponies can write? How...they have hooves! The only reason we could write so well was because of our hands, so what the fuck?

"That'd be real nice," I called back to her. It's been forever since I last curled up in bed with a good book, since I had a laptop and internet. I did all of my reading on fanfiction sites. Mostly for anime. You'd be surprised how many good Dragon Ball stories there are.

A few minutes pass before Zecora returns. She sets a plate of what looks like salad down on my lap gently, and then sets a pile of books on a table near me.

"Enjoy your food. I would like to know if a human finds it good," Zecora tells me with a smile. Then she trots back the way she came. I watch her go, somewhat confused.

"Where are you going? Don't you have to eat too?" I ask curiously.

"On breakfast, I have already dined. Today, there are more herbs that I must find," is Zecora's reply. I guess that confirms my suspicions. She's a herbalist. That explains why my wounds are healing so fast. Use the right herbs, and healing is a snap. Despite all of my complaints about luck, I got extremely lucky finding her.

"Wait, you're going out into the forest? What about those wolves?" I demanded. If the place was super dangerous for me, I'd assume it's even more so for a zebra.

"There is no need for concern. There is little threat to me as far as I can discern," are Zecroa's last words before I hear the door to the hut open and close. Huh. Well, I'll trust that she knows what she's doing. Though I'll be pretty pissed if she goes and gets herself killed.

I look down at my salad. The salad appears to be covered in some sort of spice. Actually...is that cheese? Oh hell yes. I look around, and then realize that I wasn't given silverware. Of course. Hooves. I really need to remember this shit.

So how the fuck do you eat salad without a fork? I lift a single salad leaf to my mouth with my fingers. It's actually not that bad. It doesn't taste like any salad I've eaten before, but I like it. It would be nice if I could eat more than one leaf at a time...oh fuck it. I grab a handful of leaves and shove it all into my mouth at once, not even caring that cheese and bits of it are going everywhere. I'm hungry, dammit.

On the bright side, eating this way is easier than using a fork. Especially when I reach the last bits of salad that a fork just will NOT pick up. So I'm done with my food in no time at all. I brush my hands off above the plate, and then set it aside on the table.

I grab the first book on the table and open it up...only to groan at what I see. It's written in a language I don't know. The same one the labels on the bottles are written in. Taking a closer look, I'd say the language looks a little bit like katakana. Only it's not. Essentially, these books are useless to me.

I toss the book back on the table and collapse into my bed. "Great...so I'm stuck here in this hut with nothing to do and no company for hours," I complain. Then I remember something. Where the hell is my phone? I know I brought it with me. It was in my pocket when I left the science building. I'm naked right now, so I'm guessing Zecora has it with the rest of my clothes. I hope to god she didn't try washing them with my phone still in it. I...oh shit. I have the last remains of the human race on that phone. Including what's left of my family and friends. The thought makes me depressed. I can maybe squeeze out a day or two worth of charge if I don't use it for anything other than viewing photos, but after that there will be nothing left of my race.

I know what to do. I'm going back to sleep. I have something to ask Zecora when she gets back. I mean, I don't know if I can get back to sleep, but there's nothing else to do.

Just after deciding to sleep, my eyelids start to droop. Huh, I guess with how hurt I am, my body really wants its rest.

---

I wake with a start upon hearing the tell tale clopping of hooves entering the house. The first thing I notice is that I feel good. Much better than before. I guess that makes this next part easier to do.

"So I figured out I can't read your language," I say casually to Zecora. Normal greetings are for the week. "Come to think of it, it's really odd that we even speak the same language in the first place."

"The chances of such are indeed unique. Twilight may know more about this subject of much mystique," Zecora responded in stride as she turned the corner. She is carrying some bags "I apologize for leaving you to boredom with no respite. For entertainment, you must have been desperate."

"You have no idea. By the way, you keep mentioning this Twilight chick. Does she really know all that much?" I say, changing the subject. I'm not all that comfortable with apologies. Zecora nods her head. "Interesting. I've half a mind to pay this woman a visit."

At that last sentence, Zecora cocks her head and gives me a confused look. "Pony...pay this pony a visit. Ugh, I'm never going to get used to that," I correct myself, feeling a bit sheepish. "Which brings me to what I wanted to ask you next. Think you can help me get up? I want to try walking."

I can tell Zecora isn't all that thrilled with that idea. "It is not a good idea for you to move so soon. It would be tragic if you were to swoon," she advised me. Despite her words, I was already moving.

"I'm getting up anyway, with your help or without it," I tell her flatly. My wounds sting a little bit as I force myself into a sitting position, but it's easier than last time. Since the bleeding was stemmed at least a day ago, I assume the smallest cuts are scabbed.

Then I realized something awkward. I'm completely naked. I turn and yank the undersheets from the bed and as I put my feet on the floor, I wrap it around my lower half. Zecora steps forward as I lurch up and attempt to put some weight on my feet.

I almost immediately fall over, as my feet haven't had much use since my desperate run through the forest. Thankfully, Zecora keeps me from falling down totally by catching me with her hooves. "Shit," I muttered. With her help, I manage to stand up fully. "Think I can get my pants?"

"Why do you insist on wearing clothes? Without them, everypony usually goes," Zecora asks. Wait, did she seriously just ask me that? Of course ponies run around naked. They're ponies. Essentially animals.

"Look, just do it. I don't feel like explaining," I snap. I won't feel comfortable until I'm wearing some pants. "I'll be fine."

Zecora lets me go, though she looks a bit hurt that I snapped at her. Well, who cares. I wobble in place for a bit, so I use my hand to hold me up. I wince as pain shoots through my arm. This is going to be difficult.

I follow her into the main room, getting a good look at it for the first time. The first thing I notice is the giant ass cauldron in the center of the room. There's nothing in it now, but I'm guessing that's where she makes her food. Judging from the size of it, it must be a bitch to clean. There's more of those creepy masks hanging everywhere, along with some colored bottles. They're also labeled in...I can't believe I'm saying this...Equestrian. Snrk...that's so stupid. Cute little ponies. They think they're people.

The place is lit by candles. Guess that explains why everything is so dim. Yup, ponies don't use electricity. Life here is going to suck. I can always go back and get my laptop from the school...yeah no. Fuck that place with a brick. Sorry laptop, you can stay there. Oh wait! I left my schoolwork! I need to go back an...okay, I can't even keep a straight face for that one.

Other than a few shelves lining the walls, this place is a little bare. What the hell does she do with herself every day?

I trail after Zecora until I see my clothes, pressed and clean, hanging from a rack on the wall. I walk past her and grab my pants immediately, as well as my phone and rifle, which are sitting on a shelf next to them.

A few minutes later, I'm wearing my pants again, with my phone in my pocket. Fuck shirts. As long as I have these wounds, I'm not wearing them. "All right, I guess this works. So when can I go see this Twilight?" I'm feeling restless. I mean, I do spend a lot of my day in bed when I'm not working, but I always have something to do, like read or play a game. I have none of that here, so I want to get moving.

"You should really take time to heal, or else more pain you will feel," Zecora warned, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Yeah, that's great and all, but I'm not staying cooped up in this place if I can help it," I grunted in annoyance. "So you can take me there, or I'll go on my own and likely die in the process. So what'll it be?"

"I do not want you to get hurt again. You drive quite the hard bargain," Zecora says relucantly. She doesn't look at all happy with the risks I'm taking. Fuck her, though. I'll go stir crazy if I don't get moving soon.

"Wonderful. Let's go then." I grabbed my shirt off of the rack and sling it over my shoulder...which I then regret because I'm hurt there. Fucking ow. Next, I grab my rifle. In the worst case scenario, it'll be better than using my fists.

Without even waiting for Zecora, I throw open the front door and step outside into the forest. It looks really different in the sunlight compared to how it was at night. By that, I mean it looks more like a natural environment and not the kind of thing you'd see in a nightmare. There's also a path that stretches out between a gap in the thicker parts of the forest. It's pretty wide. I wish I had known that was there a night or two ago. I haven't really looked at my phone that much because I want so save battery, so I've lost track of time.

"Ponyville lies at the end of this path. It is best to stay on the road, lest you face the Everfree's wrath." Zecora soon joins me outside, wearing something that looks like saddlebags. That's odd...seems relatively like something we humans use on our horses. I guess it's a little like Mass Effect, where the ponies drew some influence from human technology.

We walk in silence together for a while, probably because I have nothing to say to her. I got what I needed out of her. What I need to do now is find this Twilight, get as much information on how much the world I know has changed. I'll see how much she knows about Sombra himself. Then, I'll find him and exact revenge for everything I've lost.

"I do not mean to pry, but you seem troubled. May I ask why?" Zecora finally says after a few moments of walking.

"Gee, I dunno. Maybe because I'm alone in a world filled with talking ponies and zebras?" I answered her sarcastically.

"I have not forgotten your situation, you see. I am referring to your bitterness towards me." Zecora's words have a nasty effect of putting me on the spot. I feel a little guilty now...but that doesn't matter.

"Look, I appreciate you feeding me and patching me up, that's as far as things go. I'm not looking for friends, now or ever," I told her firmly, without looking back at her. Zecora falls silent. I don't have to look back at her to know that she's wearing a hurt expression.

"Nopony...or human...can be an island, else the pain soon gets out of hand," she warns me in a quiet voice. I turn around and look at her, not expecting a line like that. She's gazing back at me with her dark, soulful eyes. Troubled, I return my gaze to the front and keep silent.

---

The shadows are starting to grow long when we finally reach the edge of the forest. If I had to guess, I'd say the time is around six or seven in the afternoon.

More importantly, as I step out of the forest, I get my first look at the land in which I'm going to be staying in for the rest of my life. Green, rolling hills stretched out before me for as far as I can see. I can also see some mountains very faintly in the distance...and is that a castle on its side? How in the hell is it not falling down the side?

Splayed out before me is a fairly large village that I think may be Ponyville. I don't see any other settlements around, so it has to be. There's a few notable exceptions, but the town is mostly made up of small plaster houses with wooden frames and thatched roofs.

In the direct center of the town, there's a large circular structure that rises above the rest of town. There's a huge open area surrounding it, so that must be the town square. Which makes that big building...the town hall?

To my left, there is something that looks like a forest, but it's too orderly to be one. Hang on, I see apples in those trees. Is that an apple farm? I wonder why they farm stuff like that and not more useful crops, like rice and wheat. Can you even live off of a diet of only apples? Probably not. There's probably more farms out there that I can't see.

I do note that I can't see anything in the town that I would most definitely see in a human settlement. No power plant, no telephone poles, no transformers, and certainly no radio towers. I can't help but chuckle a bit at the irony. Sombra sent me to the future, but it feels like I'm in the past.

"Thanks again for the food and stuff. I'm heading in to town," I called back to Zecora, breaking the awkward silence between us.

"Goodbye, and be careful in the city. Many ponies will find you to be an oddity," Zecora informed me, turning around to head back into the forest.

"Noted. Maybe I'll see you later," I replied wryly, knowing that there's no way I'm going back into that forest if I can help it.

With that, I started walking down the hill, heading towards town. I've seen a zebra, but I've never actually seen one of the ponies that supposedly rule the country. This should be enlightening. Hopefully they're at least somewhat competent.

It's not long before I see one. I'm walking down the street, on the outskirts of town, when all of a sudden a brightly colored blur zooms out of the sky and lands next to the nearest house. The two of us see one another at the same time, and we both freeze.

That's a pony? It barely looks like the grubby colored domesticated animals we had back in my civilization. Not to mention its colors are completely off. Its fur is fucking sky blue, and its mane and tail are an even lighter shade of blue, closer to cyan.

Its mane is arranged on its head not like a typical pony, but like the hairstyles we humans would have had. It even has a fucking pink bow on its head. Her mane falls down and frames the pony's extremely expressive face, which is currently stuck in expression of surprise and wonder.

Then I notice that she has wings. Let me repeat that. WINGS. There's a fucking pony...with wings. Doesn't that make it a pegasus? Ugh, how dumb is this world going to get?

I take a step back, but the pony gulps nervously and actually walks up to me, brushing her mane aside with a hoof almost like a human girl would. "H...hello. Are...are you a human?" it stammers. Her voice was soft and feminine.

"That's right," I answered casually. Since the pony is so much smaller than I am, I kneel down until I'm looking straight at her, and not down at her. Her eyes widened visibly. Hah, she was scared of me. Still...gotta give the girl props for her bravery. She did walk up to a complete unknown that might have hurt her. "Are you a pony?"

"Well...yes, I am. I'm called Flitter." She introduced herself, her voice getting more stable the more she talks. Flitter, huh? Definitely a unique name. I can't recall any humans with a name like that. I like it. "It's...very nice to meet you, sir."

Sir? Me, getting respect from the first pony I see? Maybe living in this area won't be so bad after all. "My name is Seth Rogers. I'm looking for a...what was her name...Twilight Cullen?" No, I didn't forget her name. It's just fucking funny. Shut up, it was a solid joke...even if the original series was crap.

"You mean Twilight Sparkle?" Flitter asked, her snout crinkling with confusion.

"Yes...I mean Twilight Sparkle." I couldn't help but facepalm. Just like always, I make references that no one gets. No matter how much life changes, it always stays the same.

"Oh, okay. She's usually in her home in Golden Oaks Library," Flitter informed me. When I raised an eyebrow at the lack of information, she flushed nervously and continued. "If you follow this road all the way down and take the second right you see, take another right and then your second left, and then one last right, you'll find it on the end of that street."

"Thank you," I said tersely, immediately starting to walk again. A sudden thought struck me after I had gone a few feet, so I turned back around. "By the way, how do you know what I am?"

Flitter jumped slightly, not expecting me to talk to her again. "There's somepony in town who is interested in human culture and history. I've seen a few of her sketches," she explained. Somepony? So fucking dumb. Satisfied, I turned around and continued on my way into town.

Only a few minutes pass before I start seeing more and more ponies. They're all colored so damn brightly and randomly that the mish mash of colors is starting to hurt my eyes. I also notice a small trend among height. The female ponies are the smaller ones and have more rounded jaws, while the male ponies are taller and are more muscular, with square jaws. I also note that there aren't that many males at all. Heh. Sucks to be a girl here. Bet there's major competition for the few males. Not that I care either way.

When the first pony takes notice of me, she lets out a gasp and points a hoof at me. Suddenly, every goddamn pony in the streets starts staring at me with curiosity and wonder. I grit my teeth and keep walking, hoping that they'll get over it soon. I mean, they have half naked humans with rifles show up all the time, right? Pfft.

No such luck. When I get past that one street and follow it to the right, more ponies take notice of me, while some of the earlier ones start following me. I'm getting more and more annoyed the longer this goes on. Don't they have anything better to do than watch a previously thought to be extinct species walk...have you ever had a moment where you're in the middle of a sentence and you realize how stupid you sound?

Finally, after I take the second left Flitter told me about, I lose my temper with the crowd of curious ponies. "You know, if you could not stare at me, that would be great," I snapped angrily at everyone surrounding me. My outburst takes all of them by surprise, as if they weren't expecting me to speak their language.

I hear a few mumbled apologies and see a few turn their heads obediently, but others don't even listen, and continue to stare. Well, it's better than before. I'll just keep moving.

The situation only gets worse the further in I go. More ponies that didn't hear me come out to stare at me in wonder. No matter how many times I snapped at them, it didn't seem to do any good, because more would show up. God, it's just like dealing with people back home!

"What I am is none of your GODDAMN BUSINESS!" I shouted as I made one of the last turns. My shouts actually scare some of them, causing the more timid ones to scatter in every direction, while others just retreat and gaze at me from places where they think I can't see them.

Not even two seconds after that last outburst, I see a blur of bright pink, and something hits me right in my chest, knocking me over. I cry out in agony as some of that pressure aggravates my wounds. "Ow...fucking...son of a bitch..." I curse quite loudly, attempting to rise again by putting my weight on my rifle.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there because I was in the middle of a delivery and I didn't want to be late and..." the one talking possesses a really annoyingly high pitched voice, and she talks a fucking mile a minute. I look up to see that the pony who knocked me over was colored a bright pink, with an impossibly frizzy darker pink mane. She also has the image of three balloons on her flank. What that means, I dunno. However, the moment she sees what I am, she makes a really overexaggerated gasp seconds before a massive smile crosses her face. "WOW! You must be one of those humany thingies which means you're new in town! I can tell because I know everypony! Wait, if you're new then you must not have any friends...which is-"

"For the love of all that's holy, shut the fuck up!" I snapped at her. My sudden interruption causing her to stop talking. "Can you get some perspective? Instead of ranting on about some inane bullshit I could care less about, shouldn't you instead be worrying about how you running around like a chicken with its head cut off may have reopened that gash in my side?!" My voice rises to a shout over the course of that one sentence. My hand is clenched to my side, hoping that no real damage was done.

The pink pony is gazing at me with a distraught expression on her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that...," she began, but her voice was just giving me a headache, so I pushed my way past her.

"Just get the fuck out of my way," I growled, and limped away from her, noticing the stares sent my way by the other ponies changing from wonder to shock and anger.

---

Zecora is so difficult to write lines for. I spent six hours staring at a page because I was trying to think up some rhymes for her.

Finally, we're in Ponyville! We had our first encounter with (best pony) Pinkie Pie, though it was short and not very sweet.

I think I may have yelled at somebody important. I can tell because all the ponies I'm passing now seem to hate me. No more looks of wonder or questioning glances, just anger or cold stares. Fine by me. That's the kind of look I'm used to getting. One step closer to this place feeling like home.

I make one more turn and rest against the nearest wall, shoving away a pony that was already there, much to her indignation. "Excuse you!" she snaps at me, but I just ignore her until she leaves in a huff. I'm more interested in discerning whether or not my side is bleeding again. I look down at my exposed bandages, worrying a bit, but then I sigh in relief when I see that there's no red stain on them. That's a load off my mind. I'd have had that pink pony for lunch if she had injured me all over again. I'm sure she'd taste good with a little spice. And maybe some honey mustard. Hell, I don't know what I'm talking about.

The first thing that stands out to me when I look up is the extremely large tree situated in the general area of where Flitter told me to go. Of course, what stands out about the tree is how it looks more like a house than anything else. There's a bright red door that's built for ponies, several windows, and I think I see a balcony near the top. That's one tripped out tree. It's like I'm living in a Minecraft server. You know, only with less explosions.

There's a sign with a bunch of books displayed on it just in front of the tree. I suppose that means this is my destination. I swear, this Twilight better be as respectful as Flitter was, or I might blow a gasket. This pony town is grating on my nerves.

I walk up towards the door, dreading the meeting that I'm forcing myself to have. A few quick knocks on the door later, and the deed is done. I can hear the sound of someone moving around inside.

"...t's fine! I'll just tell whoever it is that you're busy!" sounded a young male voice from inside. I frown when I hear that. That shit isn't going to fly.

The door opens fully, revealing the interior of the library. I can see that the walls are inlaid with many shelves, which are stocked full of hundreds of books. Yep, this is definitely the library. But where's the one who opened the door?

"Ahem. Down here, buddy," says the voice again. I look down, and to my shock, there's a purple lizard thing staring up at me, looking none too amused. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, you can get the fuck out of my way so I can talk to Twilight," I respond matter of factly, and make to enter the library. Almost immediately after I took the first step, the lizard spits out a tongue of green fire that burns my shins something fierce. "Ow! What the...fuck you!"

After winding my foot back for half a second, I kick the fucker right back into the library with enough force for him to hit the wall. The impact caused books to fall on top of him, obscuring him from view. "Okay, so not a big lizard, but a tiny dragon. Because those apparently exist too...fuck this world..." I grumbled, walking into the library.

My rifle is immediately held at the ready as the dragon bursts out of the pile of books. "Okay dragon, you will not believe the week I've had, and if you make it any worse I swear I'll beat your tiny ass into the ground!" I snarled at him.

"Spike!" A female voice cries out in horror, and then I see another pony gallop into the room. This one is colored a soft shade of lavender and possessed a dark purple mane with a magenta stripe running through it. I can also see the horn that signifies her as a unicorn. Zecora hadn't been kidding. Lastly, that mark everyone seems to have on their flanks is a pink star with white sparkles all around it.

"Twilight, he tried to force his way in and kicked me!" Spike accused, pointing a tiny claw at me.

"Yeah, but not before you burned me and...what the fuck?" In the middle of my counterargument, I'm suddenly unable to move at all. Twilight is glaring at me, and her horn is glowing a bright magenta. Is...how the hell is she doing that?

"Wait...you're...you're human!" Twilight finally noticed that we differ in species, her jaw dropping in awe. Too bad her surprise doesn't cause her to let go of me with...fuck it, I'll just call it magic unless someone tells me otherwise.

"Just noticed that now, did you?" I comment, looking at my body. That same magenta glow that's shimmering around her horn is also around me, so I'm assuming that's her...magic...that's doing it. "Can you let me go now?"

Twilight sits down out of pure shock. "But...you're all supposed to be extinct. You have been for almost three thousand years!" she protests.

"Yeah, well, not all of us. Guess you'd better check your fa...wait, THREE THOUSAND?!" I was in the middle of composing a witty response when I did a double take. My resulting yell is enough to startle both Spike and Twilight. "I've been gone for three thousand fucking years?"

"Th...that's right. There's not much left of your kind other than ancient ruins or fragmented data caches," Twilight confirmed. I'm quiet for a good minute.

"Spike, I'm sorry for kicking you and trying to force past you. Twilight, I'm sorry for hurting your assistant. Can you let me go? I...need to think," I said in an oddly calm voice, despite how fast my mind was racing. All of the different possiblities and explanations resulting from this revelation are mixing together in my mind in a perplexing mess.

Spike smiles a bit at my apology, and then he looks at Twilight. The unicorn's eyes soften at my words, and she finally releases her magical hold over me. "Okay. Let's start over. Why don't you tell me your story over a cup of hot tea?" Twilight offers with a hopeful expression. I don't have it in me to decline, given the circumstances, so I give her a mute nod. "Spike, can you boil some water for us?"

"Happy to help, Twilight!" the dragon replied eagerly, scampering off into the kitchen.

I sit down against the wall opposite the staircase that led to the upper levels of the treehouse. I'm careful not to jostle any of my wound, because that would hurt.

It hasn't just been 70 years. Come to think of it, that isn't enough time for an entirely new species to evolve. I never really thought of it like that before. I knew some time had passed since humanity perished, but I didn't think it had been that long.

Three thousand years. Three millenia. Dammit, how am I supposed to handle something like this? I'm just a college kid who spends his days reading. This is just too much. It's no surprise the school building had been so messed up. Hell, the better question is why it is still standing. I bet the architects in the afterlife are proud of themselves.

I look up, and I notice that Twilight is next to me, gazing at me sympathetically. Don't...don't look at me like that. I don't need your sympathy. It won't bring my race back. It won't give me the three thousand years taken from me back. All you're doing is making me feel guilty.

Whistling sounds from the kitchen, and I hear Spike calling for Twilight. "Coming!" the unicorn calls back, and then she looks at me. "Ready?"

"Sure, whatever," I grunt, using my rifle to get up again. Man, I am glad I found this gun, even if it is just a glorified walking stick at this point.

Following Twilight to her kitchen, I wonder exactly what I'm going to tell her. I don't want to tell her the full story. I mean, I just met her. That's no where near enough time to trust her. Eh, I'll just wing it.

There's a small table in the room, with small stools arranged around it. "Take a seat, please. I'll be there in just a moment," Twilight tels me, indicating one of the stools. Heh, she sounds like a doctor or something. I was going to sit down anyway, so I do as I'm told.

I'm almost too tall for this table. I guess I'm going to have to get used to that, considering everything in this town is pony-sized. It feels really good to sit down, though my side is still killing me. Damn that pink menace.

That tea smells really good, surprisingly. I've never been a real tea drinker. Nor was I fan of coffee. It's the hospitality that matters I suppose.

"So...human, huh?" Spike suddenly asks, hopping up on one of the stools. I glance at him wryly. That's about as articulate as a college student at a party.

"You know, it's not exactly fair for you all to get all the questions. I know as much about you as you know about me," I point out calmly. Before Spike can reply, Twilight starts talking.

"Well, I do know that humans were omnivorous and gathered together in large groups. They also possess a remarkable level of dexterity, allowing them to construct small, yet more complex technological constructs capable of retaining a great deal of data," she relates to me in an excited tone. When she took a breath, I jumped in.

"Okay, so you know more about me than I know about you. So it's only fair if I get to ask the first questions," I interject, a little surprised. Twilight shuts her mouth, looking nonplussed.

"You do have a point. So what do you want to know?" she admits, though she looks a bit disappointed that she can't ask me anything just yet.

"Well, here's a question. If you know so much about our technology, why don't I see any of it around?" I really wanted to know this. If ponies know about our technology, why are they living in the middle ages?

"That's because most of what our archaeologists find that is still intact are literature caches and some common living objects. The more technologically advanced items that we find are usually too deteriorated to be of much use, though we have managed to reverse engineer electricity of a kind. Only the wealthier ponies can afford such a commodity though." Wow, Twilight is a wordy little pony. Considering she lives in a library, I don't know what I expected.

"So it's accurate to say that the most advanced technology you have is based on human technology?" I reiterated her own words, making sure I understood.

"That's right! So you see why it's so exciting to meet one of you in the flesh! Think of all the things our society can learn from you! Why, I could write a paper on the potential information I gain from this meeting! Oh, the princess would be so proud..." Twilight answers animatedly, her tone getting more excited the more she spoke. Guess I'd better rain on her parade.

"Sorry, but you didn't get a scholar or an engineer. You got a college student who at most can give you random facts," I cut across her. A look of disappointment crosses her face, but only for a moment.

Before she replies, she finishes serving the tea. It's the freakiest thing. That same magenta glows surrounds both the kettle and the cups. The kettle then just lifts itself up and pours tea into each of the three cups without Twilight ever laying a hand...er...a hoof on it. That magic is really damn useful.

She starts talking again after she levitates the cups over to the table. "That doesn't mean I can't learn about your culture. You wouldn't mind telling me about your customs, holidays, government structure, and the like. Oh, how about your family? Can I hear about how a typical human family works?" Her enthusiasm keeps rising no matter what I say. I need to put a stop to this.

"No, you can't," I interrupted flatly before she could ask any more questions. She doesn't seem to notice at first.

"Great! I want to hear about...wait, no? Why not?" Twilight adopts this really sad expression that I might find adorable on a pet. I'm having the hardest time viewing these ponies as anything other than animals.

"I didn't come here to be interrogated about things I'd rather lay to rest. My race is dead now. What does it matter?" I answered irritably. I grab the tea in front of me and sip at it. It wasn't bad, tasting a little fruity and sweet. I have no idea what kind of tea it is, though.

"But...wouldn't you want your kind to live on in the form of literature?" Twilight pressed, leaning closer to me. I scoff a bit. Spoken like a true librarian.

"You mistake me for someone who cares about that kind of thing," I snorted derisively. Twilight looks so damn depressed at that answer that I can't help but feel a little bad. Fuck, these ponies are like kittens in how they have that innate cuteness...and if you tell ANYONE I said that, I will find you, and I will eviscerate you. "But...I'll considering telling you something if you can answer me one thing."

Twilight brightens up like I had just flipped a switch. "What is it? I'll tell you anything!" she promises eagerly. Anything? Just the way she phrased that makes me want to ask her something super embarassing. Like her sex life. And...wow, I disgusted myself on that one. As funny as that would be, I don't want to know. No, I know what I really want.

"Who is King Sombra, and where can I find him?" I growled, my tone visibly changing. My hand clenches the tea cup so hard, I'm surprised it hasn't broken. Twilight is taken aback by the violent tone in my voice.

"Sombra? I've never heard of anypony like that," she tells me, her ears flattening.

"Dammit! I KNOW he came to this era," I cursed, slamming my fist on the table, causing the two of them to wince. I drain about half of the cup of tea, wishing it was something stronger.

"Is he another human?" Twilight asked curiously, that spark of excitement entering her eyes again. Don't get too excited. When I find him, I'm going to put that Sombra through a meat grinder. Have fun studying him then.

"I doubt it. He was wearing the same shape as us, but his coloring was all wrong. Not to mention he could use magic. He used some kind of time travel spell to send me into the future. That's why I'm here," I explained.

"Wait, time travel? Twilight, isn't there a spell like that in the-" Spike began.

"Starswirl the Bearded Wing in the Canterlot Archives?" Twilight finished excitedly. I have no idea what any of those things means, but it seems like they believe me. "I used it once to go the the past-"

"And started a time loop paradox," Spike remarked. Twilight's ears flattened again, this time out of embarassment.

"Hold on. You went to the past?" Twilight had my full attention now. When she nodded, I started to grin. "Get me this spell. I want to go home."

Twilight and Spike exchange glances, looking unsure. "Look...uh...Mr..."

"Seth Rogers,"

"Mr. Rogers. That spell, while it does allow travel to the past, the amount of time the spell can be maintained depends on both the level of magic of the spell caster, and how far back the user goes. I went back for a week, and only lasted for a few moments before returning to this time," Twilight informs me. My spirits drop like a stone.

"And Twilight's one of the strongest unicorns in all of Equestria!" Spike brags, but is soon hushed by an embarrassed Twilight.

"I can't believe that. Is this the only time travel spell? Because Sombra sent me three fucking millenia into the future, after doing the same himself. Explain that one to me, genius," I counter, not wanting to believe that what seemd to be my only way home may be barred to me. I finish my tea with a few more gulps.

"Well, according to a few accounts, Starswirl was in the middle of stabilizing the time spell, but he passed before he could. Even if this Sombra was able to bypass the temporary nature of the spell, it would still take an immense amount of magical power to send somepony that far forward or backward in time," Twilight theorizes, and then she takes a sip from her tea. "The only ones I know with that kind of power are the princesses."

"Then get the princesses to send me home," I demand, my temper rising.

"There's still the issue of the..."

"TAKE THE HINT, UNICORN, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" I shout, startling both Twilight and Spike.

"I understand, Mr. Rogers, but I just don't think it's possible," Twilight admits. That doesn't help my temper any.

"DAMMIT!" I hurl the teacup across the room in frustration. Twilight manages to catch it with her magic before it hits anything, and she deposits it in the sink carefully.

"Hey, it's all right-" she tries to comfort me.

"No it's not," I snap, but she continues talking anway.

"I'll help you find this Sombra if you don't mind waiting in town for a while," Twilight promised. I glance at her in surprise.

"Really? Why would you bother helping me, a total stranger who's not even the same species as you? What do you get out of it?" I ask her. I'm confused, because I know I certainly wouldn't help someone out unless I stood to benefit in some way. Unless it was Amaryllis. Then I'd hem and haw a bit, but I'd eventually do it.

"Me? Nothing. I don't see a stranger standing before me. I see somepony who's lost in a land unfamiliar to them. I just want to help," Twilight answers, placing one of her hooves on my hand in an attempt to be reassuring. The contact is uncomfortable, so I extricate my hand and place it down by my side.

I then realize something. "Uh-huh. You're not fooling me. You just want the information I can give you so you can get all rich and famous after you write a book," I accuse her. Twilight actually has the nerve to look offended at that. Bitch, if I call you out on your bullshit, you own up to it.

"Hasn't anypony ever helped you out just out of kindness?" Twilight asks defensively.

"No," is my abrupt answer. That visibly deflates her. She looks a little surprised, and then looks sad.

"That's...not right. Are all humans like that?"

"Pretty much. Still want to know about us?" My expression is now a little smug, though I still don't understand why she's acting so surprised. I'm here to use her for information, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I suspect her of doing the same.

"That's horrible. Why would you want to go back to a society like that?" Twilight demands. That gives me some pause. She has a point. Most of humanity is fucking worthless, anyway.

No, I can't say that. I think that the first and foremost reason I want to go back is so I can see my family and friend again. I want to see Amaryllis again, and finally ask her out. I want to spend some time with my family, which I've never really done on my own volition. I want to watch anime with my brother, and watch Maka growing up. There's so many thoughts running through my head, I only know one way to make it clear to Twilight.

"None of your damn business," I reply gruffly, earning a disappointed sigh from the unicorn. Looking out the window, I notice that the sun is dipping below the horizon. "It's getting late."

"Oh...yeah, time does pass quickly, doesn't it?" Twilight comments, laughing nervously. When I fix her with a very pointed look, she blanches and her ears fold back. "Sorry...bad choice of words. Anyhow, do you have someplace to stay?"

Yeah, I'm avoiding that trap. No way am I letting her offer me hospitality. She might dissect me in my sleep or something. She puts on a show of being a considerate friend, but I know scientific curiosity when I see it. I'm noping the fuck out of here. "Yeah, I've got a place," I lie. The streets it is, I guess. I don't have any money, so I'm starving tonight as well. "Thanks for the tea."

"You're very welcome. Um...when will I see you again?" Twilight asks hesitantly. I stand up, moving towards the door. Twilight gets up and follows me as well, with Spike not far behind. "Mr. Rogers?"

"Look, Mr. Rogers is my father. Call me Seth," I correct her. Then, I open the front door and step outside. Just before shutting the door, I say, "I'll come back tomorrow sometime."

My abrupt departure might have been a bit rude, but whatever. As I walk away, I can hear them talking.

"I don't like him. He's very mean," I heard Spike saying.

"Cut him some slack, Spike. He's lost his entire race," Twilight responds. Any further conversation is too faint to hear as I walk back out into the streets.

All of the ponies seem to be heading home now, as the streets are much emptier than before. Now, I need to find a nice patch of grass to stretch out on, if possible. This town is pretty rural, so that shouldn't be too hard. I'm not looking forward to how cold it will be, but I can use my shirt as a blanket. Maybe I can find some discarded newspapers or something to use as well.

I need a job. If I'm going to be staying in this town for a long period of time, I need lodging. The air smells a little wintry, so I'm guessing the nights will get colder and colder. I don't want to freeze to death. A job will help me find a place to stay.

After wandering for a bit, I look around to see if I can find any ponies. Soon, I spot two of them walking out of what looks to be a...club of sorts, if the loud rambunctious music blaring from the opening and the multicolored lights shining from the windows were any indication.

The pony closest to me is colored a soft mint green, and has a lyre tattooed on her flank. I made a mental note to ask Twilight what those are, and why everyone had them. No, I will not and will never say "everypony." I refuse. I'd cut my own tongue out first. Moving on, her mane and tail are the same color as her body, except for a few white streaks.

The second one is a beige color, and has...candy...for that mark. Huh. Guess she really likes candy. Her mane and tail are a mixture of dark blue and magenta. Well, I say a mixture, but the two colors are separate from one another. It's like two different stripes. Dammit, I'm no storyteller, I can't make fucking words sound good!

The moment they see me approaching them, the two of them scream in shock, scrambling up against a wall. "Oh for the love of god...get used to the fact that there's a human living in your town!" I groan. I'm getting so sick and tired of these skittish ponies.

"Wait, did you say 'human'?" The mint colored one asks excitedly, seemingly overcoming her initial fright.

"Oh no..." the other one remarks, slapping her hoof into her face. I try not to laugh at that. Is that the pony version of a facepalm? A facehoof! Hah, I'm so not clever.

"Yeah, I did. I'm human. Get your squealing and fangirling out of the way right now, so we can have an intelligent conversation," I respond, not in the mood to deal with another pony that wants to know everything about me and my kind.

"Oh...sorry, sir, I didn't mean to bother you. You've probably gotten that a lot since you arrived," the green one says. She's not so bad. Hear that respect? I can get used to that. "My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I've been reading a really good book series starring humans, so I got a little excited to meet one."

"Weren't you all extinct?" the other asked before I could get a word in edgewise. I transfixed her with a glare.

"You know, when someone introduces themselves, you usually let the other party do the same. So how about you shut the fuck up and save your questions for never?" I snap at the biege pony. My words cause her eyes to widen, clearly not expecting such a response. "Sorry, Lyra. Apparently your friend here doesn't know not to greet someone with 'weren't you dead?'"

"Yeah, I can see how that could be offensive. Don't be so hard on Bon Bon, she's never really liked the idea of humans," Lyra says, hiding a chuckle at Bon Bon's, which is a stupid fucking name, expense. "So what's your name, sir?"

"I'm Seth Rogers. I wanted to ask if you know someplace where someone like me can get a job. I have no idea what kind of currency you ponies use," I reply. So Lyra's not that bad, considering she's a pastel colored pony. Bon Bon is a bit of a prick, though.

"A job for a human? Well, there's a lot of more delicate work that needs doing around town," Bon Bon answers first. I can tell she's still miffed about my rudeness. Get the fuck over it. "I mean, the unicorns can't be everywhere."

"Also, I think the Apple family always accepts help out on the farm. You look strong enough," Lyra adds. Farm work, huh? Sounds like it'd be miserable as hell. It is something, though. Beggars can't be choosers.

"Didn't Vinyl say she could use some extra help with her equipment on her gig nights?" Bon Bon continues. Two job opportunities? And that second one looks like a part time job, so I technically can do both. At least it will give my now meaningless existence a point. Even if it is manual labor.

"Yeah, you could do that!" Lyra seemed a little too excited to be helping me out. Is that the fangirl in her? Speaking of which, I'm not sure how I feel about my race being in fiction books. Hah, that might make a fun evening. I should read those books and then send hate mail to the author on how inaccurate they are.

"Hm. Where can I find these peo...ponies?" Dammit, I will never get used to saying ponies instead of people.

"Well, Vinyl is still in the club packing up. You might be able to score some points if you help her out now," Bon Bon suggests, pointing a hoof at the building they just emerged from. Well, that's a start. I can't really do any manual labor until my injuries heal, but it'll be nice to see my potential employer. "Just look for the pony with the shades."

Pony in shades? What have I gotten myself into...oh well. Might as well do it. "Thanks, you two. I'll go do that now." I say, turning to walk towards the club. Just before I reach it, Lyra calls out to me.

"Hey!" I turn my head to look at her. "Don't be a stranger!"

Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I want to be your friend? Rather than saying that out loud, I just grunt and walk into the club...where the environment immediately changes upon my entrance.

Several ponies filter their way around me and out of the bar, while others remove themselves to the farthest corners of the room, where they whisper to one another and point hooves at me when they think I'm not looking.

"What? Don't let me ruin your night," I address the crowd sarcastically. I cast my gaze around, and I soon notice the pony described to me by Bon Bon and Lyra.

She's sitting behind a...suprisingly modern looking set of DJ tables. There's a decent set of speakers spread around the room too. Reverse engineered from human technology, if I had to take a guess.

The pony herself is pure white in color with two bridged eighth notes as that mark on her flank. Her mane and tail are a bright shade of electric blue, run through with streaks of an even lighter blue. The most distinguishable part of her appearance are the purple tinted sunglasses that she's wearing. So that's Vinyl.

She looks awestruck for a moment, but then, to my surprise, grins. She takes out the record on her table and replaces it with a new one. "Hey hey, we got a human in the house! Turn down the lights, because I'm about to throw down some fresh beats!" Vinyl's words break the awkward silence that had formed upon my entry. Everyone looks her way as she sets the needle on the record. Then she looks directly at me. "I learned this style from you guys! Do me a favor and rock out!"

Hold up, she learned what style from who now? My thoughts are interrupted as the music completely changes, the bass roaring and percussion reverberating through the room so intensely, that I can feel it in my chest. Is this...no way. Tell me you're kidding. Vinyl is playing dubstep. What the fuck I don't even...you know what. Fuck it. This is awesome.

The ponies are still in a state of shock at first, but after Vinyl's words and the intense new music, they slowly relax, and start mingling with one another again. The dance floor soon fills up again.

The scent in the air is predominately pony, of course, but the sights and sounds remind me very strongly of this one club, three thousand years ago.

---

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," I grumbled as I followed Amaryllis through the club.

"What, too scared of being shown up on the dance floor?" she teased. I shook my head and didn't answer.

The music was loud and intense, such that the sound was pounding in my chest, a feeling that I loved, but not when around large groups of idiotic drunk people looking for a quick fuck.

I gaped at Amaryllis as she stepped out onto the dance floor and started rocking out to the beat. I had assumed she was kidding when she was talking about the dance floor. I thought we were here to let loose and laugh at all the stupid people.

"What the fuck, Amaryllis?!" I asked in disbelief. She laughs a bit and tries to get me to join her out there, but I resist her.

"Aw, come on, Seth! Lighten up a bit and come dance!" Amaryllis said, pouting a bit.

"Weren't you the strong silent type that didn't give a fuck about people? What's all this about?" I was starting to get angry. I had hoped that Amaryllis wasn't like the other college students, but there she is, dancing like she's drunk at a party. That's an exaggeration. She actually had some grace, but that wasn't the point.

"That's right! I don't give a fuck what people think of me. That's why I can do this. Just because I hate practically everyone doesn't mean I shouldn't have fun," Amaryllis shot back.

"That's not-"

"The better question is, why aren't you dancing? Because if I didn't know better, I'd say you DO give a fuck about what these drunk idiots think." She did not just accuse me of that.

"You know what? Just for that, I'll show you how to REALLY dance," I declared, and I forced my way onto the dance floor. Amaryllis's smile widens, and the two of us start just enjoying one another's company. The people who knew us in the club gave us shocked looks, wondering if we were drunk or something.

One of the braver men attempted to get in on the dance with Amaryllis. She promptly kicked him in the balls and we kept dancing. Nope, we were still assholes. And I loved it.

---

Heh, look at me, feeling all nostalgic. You know...just once, I'll do this. This is something I can do to honor Amaryllis's memory.

I feel really stupid for even thinking about this, but it doesn't stop me from walking to the dance floor, ponies watching me curiously as I pass them. This is a really dumb idea, but you know what?

I don't give a fuck.

---

After the first song ended, I recline against a nearby wall. I hurt. I had made sure not to move all that much to keep from aggravating my wounds, so dancing was awkward. But I did it, and I feel a bit better mentally because of that.

I rest against that wall until the second song ends, and ponies start to leave for home. I can see Vinyl starting to pack up her records. I take this opportunity to approach her.

"Hey, dude! Pretty rad to see you dancing out there to my tunes. Did I get your music right?" Vinyl says to me conversationally when she notices my approach.

"You did. I didn't think I'd hear dubstep ever again," I reply honestly. I've always held a healthy respect for musicians. That hasn't changed. So yes, surprisingly enough, I respect this pony. Hopefully she doesn't piss me off later. "I'm Seth Rogers. Thanks for calming the crowd. I didn't want to have to fight off an bar owner who's angry that I scared off his customers."

"I hear that! It's a pleasure, Seth. You don't mind if I call you Seth, do you?" Vinyl responds with a laugh. When I shook my head, she continued. "Awright! Name's Vinyl Scratch. Put er' there, dude!"

She holds her hoof out, like for a handshake or something. Or hoofshake. Whatever. She's a musician, so I'll do it just for that reason. I reach out my hand, and she slaps my hand like in a high five, and then does a weird hoofshake. Uh...huh.

"Hey, I-" I begin, but Vinyl forestalls me words with a hoof. She's looking rather intently at my lower body. What the fuck...I swear to god, if she's checking me out, I'm running as FAR away from here as I can.

"I thought your dancing was a little shaky. You're hurt!" Vinyl gasps. Oh great...don't you go and feel pity for me.

"Ugh, don't worry about it. That's why I'm wearing bandages," I say, waving her concerns away.

"Dude, that looks like it hurts. I wish I could help," Vinyl responds with a sympathetic voice. "Anyway, why'd you come to this club, anyway?"

"I was actually looking for you. I was told you're looking for help with your equipment." Whether or not she's surprised by that, I can't tell because of those fucking sunglasses.

"That was quick! I literally just said that an hour ago," Vinyl proclaims with a grin. "Yeah, if you think you can handle it, what with all those cuts you've got, I'll hire you."

"I'll be fine. When do you usually have gigs?" I dismiss her concerns with a wave of my hand.

"Well, I generally have them three times a week, sometimes more if Pinkie Pie throws a party," Vinyl answers. That last name she mentioned...who the fuck is okay with having a name like that? Whatever, I don't care. "Tell you what. You got a place I can find you at?"

Shit. What do I say? I lied to Twilight, but only because she was going to offer me her place for tonight. I probably shouldn't lie to my future employer. "No, actually. I don't have any money. That's why I'm here."

"Whoa, really? That's not cool. Wait, were you gonna sleep outside tonight?" Vinyl questions me, a hint of suspicion in her voice. My face gives her all the answer she needs. "Come on, dude. You're a human. I bet you get get a room with royalty if you tried."

"I don't want royalty, and I certainly don't want your charity. I'll sleep outside until I get the money to find a hotel somewhere," I tell her firmly.

"Are you sure? I have a spare room I could-"

"No! I'm completely fine with the way things are." I think I may have let my voice rise a bit, because I see Vinyl's ears fold back.

"If you want to do this job, I have to be able to find you," she warns me.

"I remember seeing a park when I was on my way to the library. I'll be staying there if you want to find me." Well, that decision was rather quickly made, but it'll work. A patch of grass will work for tonight.

"All right, dude. Take tonight to heal up a bit more, and I'll come grab you to help me set up tomorrow night," Vinyl finally relents, though she doesn't look happy about it.

"Great, see you tomorrow," I say bluntly, and without another word, I turn on my heel and leave the club behind.

Fuck these ponies. They need to stop being so nice to me. I can tell what they're up to. They're just going to be nice until they can use it to get favors from me. I won't let it happen. I won't let you fuckers use me.

Somewhat angry, I storm down the street in the dark of night. It's already cold, but it's tolerable. When I reach the park, I gently lower myself to the nearest patch of grass until I'm laying on my back.

You know, since there's no real streetlights, I can see thousands of stars in the sky, something I'd never see back at my college.

I keep staring up at that night sky until at last, I fall asleep.

---

All right, this is my first experiment with the first of the mane six. Please let me know whether or not I've portrayed Twilight and Spike's characters well. It's something I'm paranoid about.

Also, Vinyl Scratch = so much win.

I wake up feeling absolutely frigid. Yeah...I'm a bit of a deep sleeper, so I probably didn't feel it when the temperature dropped during the night.

It's not the cold temperature that woke me up, nor the sunlight peeking over the houses in the east. No, it's the feeling of somebody poking me gently with a hoof. Okay Seth...control yourself. Don't beat the ever loving daylights out of this hapless pony that thinks it's a good idea to poke a random stranger lying on the street.

"Mr. Seth? Are you okay?" a quiet voice calls to me. Huh, is it just me, or does that voice sound familiar? I open my eyes slowly to see a familiar sky blue pegasus gazing at me with worry in her eyes.

"Flitter? I was sleeping. Not anymore though, considering the hoof poking," I address her, my voice a bit snippy for having been woken up. I can see her recoil a bit at my words.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I just thought you might be hurt since you were sleeping in the middle of the park," Flitter apologizes, blushing a little. "But...why did you spend the night out in the cold?"

"Because I like the cold," I respond sarcastically, and then I start to move. My joints ache from the cold, but a good stretch will take care of that. I stand up carefully, leaning most of my weight on my handy rifle.

Flitter watches me curiously as I stretch out my arms and legs. I notice that doing so doesn't hurt me all that much, unless I involve my side. That makes sense I guess. The gash on my side is the most serious of my injuries. The bandages on my shoulders and arms feel a bit loose too. I decide to take a risk and unravel them, knowing that I could just find a hospital if I need one.

I hear Flitter gasp when the various cuts I've accumulated on my upper body are revealed. Ignoring her, I inspect them for myself. The cuts on my shoulder are already scabbed over. Running a finger along them, they feel quite stable. I rotate my shoulder once to test how it feels. It stings a bit, but it's bearable. My guess is that I'll be healed in a day or two.

"You are hurt! What happened?" Flitter asks me. I hold up a finger to tell her to wait, and then I continue checking myself. The cuts on my arms are scabbed over as well, and the ones near my forearms are already peeling off, because they aren't that deep at all. No, it's the ones on my upper arms that'll probably heal around the same time as my shoulder.

"Eh, just some shit with a timberwolf," I finally answer her. Flitter looks even more worried, but I cut her off before she can say anything else. "Ugh, stop worrying. If I was in enough trouble to warrant a pony worrying about me, I'd be dead."

"Oh...okay. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were all right," Flitter continues weakly. She looks a little hurt at my harsh words. Damn, this pony needs to grow a skin. "It was nice seeing you, but I need to go. There's a storm scheduled for tonight, so I have to get ready."

"Yeah, alright, seeya," I say uncaringly, still testing the range of motion on my limbs. I look up as a rush of air washes over me, and I'm just in time to see Flitter taking off and soaring through the air. "Ponies with wings...that's just not fair. How come humans didn't evolve to get wings? Fuck you, evolution."

Now, what's on my list of things to do today? I need to see Twilight again, because I need to know a few things more about the pony race. Like, those marks. They kind of remind me of tramp stamps, but I doubt that's what they are. If they were, then I'm surrounded by pony prostitutes. That thought has me laughing a bit to myself. Wow, my humor is twisted. I try to picture Flitter with a sultry look on her face, and I just laugh harder, causing some of the other ponies passing near me to gaze at me oddly.

The other reason I need to see Twilight is because she may have found something on Sombra. The closer I get to finding that bastard, the better. I still don't know why he picked ME of all people to zap to the future. I'd rather have died in a zombie apocalypse with my family than die in a land of magical ponies, completely alone.

Next on my list, I need to find the farm, and see if they'll let me take a part time job there. Lastly, I need to find my way back here later tonight to meet Vinyl in time for a gig or something.

A rumbling in my stomach reminds me that I haven't had anything to eat since Zecora. I am starving as all hell. Where am I going to find food without any money? The answer is simple: I'm not. Looks like I'm going hungry another day. It's a pain, but there's no way around it.

I start walking back down the streets back towards Golden Oaks Library. You know, I think that if I asked, she wouldn't mind giving me food. No, that's a terrible idea. Then she'll have one more thing to hold over my head. No, I'll stay hungry.

When I knock on the door, this time Twilight answers it herself instead of Spike. When she sees me, she smiles brightly at me. "Seth! Welcome back. Come on in, I'll make some more tea," she greets me enthusiastically, and then she steps aside to give me room. I find it odd at how happy she looks to see me. Last time I was here, I punted your dragon. Why aren't you more wary?

"Awesome. Tea sounds good," I grunted.

"I'll get the water going," Spike says in a resigned manner, walking into view from the right side of the main room, and then disappearing into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Spike! Now, Seth, if you'll just...Seth! You're hurt!" Twilight cut off in the middle of her request to, just like every other pony, exclaim in horror at my injuries.

"You just noticed that? I was wearing these bandages yesterday," I point out. Twilight has the sense to look embarrassed at that.

"I...well...we don't know much about human fashion. I assumed it was just clothing," she protests weakly. I scoff at that. That's so fucking dumb.

"Whatever. Now can we get down to business? I actually have a full day today," I say, changing the subject. Twilight shakes her head emphatically.

"No. Absolutely not. Not until I can get you healed," she tells me sternly. I raise an eyebrow.

"Come on, Twilight. If it was possible to heal with magic, then why does this town have a hospital?" I question skeptically. As she answers, Twilight is rifling through her bookshelves, pulling stacks of them off with her magic and sifting through them in a very impressive fashion. I don't know what the average magical skill is of ponies, but I'd estimate that she's one of the stronger ones.

"That's because it's an extremely difficult spell. At the very most, I can only heal surface wounds. It's not healing per se, but more like aging. I can't do anything about illnesses, either," Twilight explains to me. Her brow is wrinkled in concentration. "Come on, where is it?"

I watch her curiously. If she can heal these wounds, I'd be glad to use that talent of hers for my benefit.

"Twilight, the water's done!" Spike calls from the kitchen.

"Aha!" Twilight exclaims, pulling down a book from the shelves. Then, as if she knew exactly where every book was supposed to go, she levitated the books she displaced back into the shelves in an organized manner. "Spike, could you finish it up for me?"

Spike gives a grunt of confirmation, but Twilight ignores him and moves over to me with an excited look on her face.

"Here's a better question. Why doesn't everyone go to you if they get hurt?" I inquire. If a human had that kind of ability, I would stake my life that he'd have a line the size of the Sears Tower outside of his house.

"Well...it's not something I advertise," Twilight admits with a blush. That sets off alarm bells in my head. I take a few steps back. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you even," I warn her, though she only looks more confused. "I know what you're up to, and I won't have it."

"What are you talking about? I just want to help," Twilight asks, stepping closer to me. I start backing towards the door.

"Yeah. There's a spell that only the strongest spellcasters can use that you've been keeping hidden, and you're willing to break it out for a complete stranger free of charge? I'm not stupid," I shoot back. I reach behind me and open the door, hoping to get away from this situation. "I won't be in your debt!"

Twilight's face is surprised at first, but then it turns to incredulous disbelief, like she was saying "really?" without words. Just as I'm about to leave, her horn glows, and I'm yanked back in the library without any means of stopping myself. The door shuts behind me.

"That's silly. You're being silly," she accuses me, using her magic to move me over to wall and then keep me there. I try to struggle, but it's pointless. I can feel my muscles straining, but they just won't move. "You're not a stranger. You're a friend who's hurt."

"What?!" I say incredulously. A friend? Are you fucking kidding me? I've done nothing but be an asshole to you since I got here for the very purpose of not making any friends. What in your tiny little head makes you think I want to be your friend? Why would you even want to be my friend? This is...I don't...how do I even respond? "You're insane."

"Not as insane as the one who would rather feel pain than get healed, just because of some silly pride," Twilight counters me. My mouth drops open in anger.

"What the...fuck you!" I yell, but Twilight's horn is already lighting up like a christmas tree. Despite how angry I am, I can't help but watch in awe as the scabs on my arms and shoulders start to glow. Then, it's like I'm watching a time lapse video. I can visibly see as new skin forms under each of the scabs, eventually forcing said scabs to fall off and disintegrate.

Twilight grunts in exertion, sweat beading on her brow, the spell clearly taking a lot out of her. The bandages around my side unravel themselves and fall to the floor. The gash in my side immediately starts to bleed, as it was not completely scabbed over yet. However, the blood soon stops and the wound completely scabs, and then a few seconds later the scab falls off and disappears, revealing fresh pink skin underneath it.

"There!" Twilight gasps, and she releases both spells, so that I can move again. In awe, I run a hand along the skin on my side. It feels a little raw, but it doesn't hurt anymore. Damn, that spell is useful. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten how Twilight essentially forced me into her debt. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Bitch! Now you're just going to demand something ridiculous from me in the future because of this!" I snap at her angrily. Instead of being offended, Twilight just smiles.

"Thank you, but that's not necessary. It's just something I'd do for any of my friends," she expresses.

"What the...you don't make any sense," I groan, earning a giggle from the purple unicorn.

So now, utterly confused, I am standing against the wall, completely healed. I'm still a little angry from how she forced me to take her favor, and not at all convinced that she won't use it as leverage to get something from me later.

"Tea's done!" Spike calls from the kitchen. Twilight trots towards the kitchen, beckoning me back with a hoof. I follow her, feeling bitter.

Just like before, we sit down at her table, and she levitates the tea over to us. I set my rifle against the wall, and then I sip at the tea eagerly, as I certainly haven't had any water since getting here, and tea is essentially just flavored water.

"Hey, Seth," Spike addresses me for the first time since I got here. I still don't much care for him, so all I respond with is a grunt.

"I'll get right to the point. What have you found on Sombra?" I begin, cutting right to the heart of the matter. Twilight's face, once smiling and happy, falls immediately, and I let my face fall into my hands. "You didn't find anything."

"I went through almost half of my library last night, and I couldn't find even a single mention of this King Sombra," Twilight explains. "I'm sorry."

"And she didn't go to bed until past midnight," Spike adds. I can see Twilight wince as she looks at me, as if worried that I'm going to shout at her again. I won't lie, I'm tempted. It shouldn't be this hard.

"Fine. Just keep looking. There has to be something," I finally say. I take another gulp of her delicious fruity tea. "Anyway, I've been meaning to ask. What's up with those butt tattoos all you ponies seem to have?"

Twilight flushes crimson at my admittedly vulgar language. "They're not...butt tattoos. They're our cutie marks. Everypony has one to signify their special talent. Don't humans have them?"

My right eye is twitching. Cutie marks? Dear god, I'm dying a little inside just writing that word. "No, we don't. And I will never call them that. That has to be the dumbest sounding name I've ever heard," I answer her, sighing. This really is a dumb world I've landed in.

"If you don't get cutie marks, how do you know what your special talent is?" Twilight presses. I notice with some amusement that she's got a pad of paper and a quill on the table in front of her. She's taking notes?

"We don't. We have to find that out for ourselves. Seems like you ponies have it easy in that regard," I say, a little envious. I still don't know what my special talent is. Though I'm certainly glad I don't get a butt tattoo to tell me when I've found it.

"That seems difficult. Getting a cutie mark is difficult enough as it is," Twilight placates me. We're quiet for a bit as we take some time to drink our tea. Damn, I love this stuff. Wonder if I could get a few of those teabags for myself.

"Magic. Tell me more about it. Who can use it, how it's used, etcetera," I pose. Considering she's a libarian, I'm probably going to get a pretty long explanation. That suspicion deepens when her expression brightens.

"Oh, I have a lot to tell you about! My special talent is magic, after all," Twilight expresses, beaming.

"Here we go," Spike moans, but nobody pays him any attention. Instead, I'm interested in what Twilight can tell me about magic.

"Everypony in Equestria possesses some form of magic within themselves, no matter what race of pony they are. It's all a matter of how it's utilized in our biology. For example, pegasi use magic to fly by lowering the effects of gravity on their bodies," Twilight begins.

That actually makes sense if you think about it. It never made any sense how the pegasi could fly, because it seems to me like the average wingspan would have to be many times larger than it is to produce enough lift to propel that much weight off the ground. Reducing the acceleration of gravity on its body won't do anything except make it lighter. I assume reducing the mass of a pegasus will do something horrible to them. I'm no physicist, so all I know about the mass/volume ratio is that if it's messed up, shit hits the fan.

"Earth ponies possess a great deal of magic saturated into their very bones and muscle, making them physically stronger than the other races, as well as giving them an affinity for growing crops. All of Equestria is dependent on them for food," Twilight continues.

Extra strength. Useful, but I think I'd prefer to fly. Not saying that I want to be pony. Hell fucking no. Just stating a preference.

"Then, you have unicorns. We are the only race capable of manipulating the magic within our bodies, and channeling it through our horns. As for the change in composition of the magic as it leaves our body, I believe that it can best be expressed by the differing amounts in-"

"I get the point. If I wanted a lecture, I'd go back to college," I cut across her. Twilight pouts at being stopped in the middle of her lecture, while Spike stifles a laugh.

"I thought you wanted to know everything," she whined. She gives me probably the most perfect rendition of puppy dog eyes that I have ever seen. Granted, I never find that cute because I think puppies are fucking disgusting, but that is the saying. And I already mentioned these fucking ponies and their innate cuteness. So I think you know what happened next.

"Ugh, fine...proceed," I groan, mentally resigning myself. Twilight then grins happily, and the strangest thing happens. I swear to god, when she makes that smile, I hear a sound. The only way I can describe it...is that it sounded like "squee." What the fuck?

Seconds later, I'm knee deep in lecture. Twilight starts talking about the nuances and technical details of magic itself, boring me to high heaven because I can't understand a word of it. I try to look like I'm paying attention, but that doesn't last very long. Eventually, my eyelids droop.

---

"What do you mean, he's asleep?! SETH!" I'm suddenly awoken by Twilight yelling something in my face. My head lurches up off of my fist where it had been resting, and I look around frantically until I remember that I'm not in college, but in a magical land filled with unicorns and pegasi and whatnot. You know...the more I say that, the more I'm starting to become convinced that this is just one potent LSD trip or something.

"Your lecture was so boring he fell asleep!" Spike chokes out. He's rolling on the floor, laughing his head off at the situation he's observing. Twilight looks both irritated that I had slept through her entire lecture, and a little sheepish.

"So, you missed my thoughts on Starswirl the Bearded's Law on the Conservation of Magical Energy, and the varying theories on the effects of differing magical composition?" Twilight asks me with a sheepish smile. My blank expression was the only answer she needed. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't have trailed on like that."

"Nah, keep going. I was getting a pretty good rest there," I needle her with a grin, causing her to scoff and tap me lightly on my head with her notepad.

"So did you have any other questions?" Twilight says.

"Not really. You've answered what I want to know," I tell her, and then I drain the rest of my tea. "I have a lot to do, so I should probably get going."

Twilight's face falls, though I can't possibly imagine why. She should be glad that I'm leaving her house, since all I'm really doing is wasting her time and drinking her tea.

"Will you be back tomorrow?" she asks me hopefully as I stand up. I pause for a moment, wondering if I should.

"Probably," I answer casually. A sudden thought strikes me. I'm not wounded anymore. I grin and slip on my shirt for the first time since leaving the hut. Ah, I already feel warmer and better.

As I grab my rifle, I catch Twilight smiling at my response. Ugh, why does she look so happy? I'd get pissed if some asshole kept dropping by my place every morning.

"All right! I'll put it in my schedule. See you tomorrow!" she calls to me as I stalk out of the libary, shutting the door behind me.

Well, I'm back in this town whose name is so damn stupid I'll try never writing on paper. Time to find my way to the farm. I assume it's that giant apple farm I saw on the way down here from the Everfree, but it wouldn't help to make sure.

After accosting a random pony and asking for directions, I discover that I am indeed right in my assumption.

Ah, it feels really good to walk now that it doesn't hurt every time I move now. I honestly have no use for this rifle now, but I feel rather attached to it, ever since I used it to kill that Oppressed. I think I'll keep it around.

The walk through town is mostly uneventful, as least until I reach the path that heads to the outskirts of town, where the apple farm is. This town really is a nice place, all the ponies aside. I enjoy good architecture coupled with nature, and this town is just rural enough to fit that description.

I'm just walking down the path, looking around at the scenery, when I hear something above me. It sounds a bit like someone screaming. Well, less like screaming and more like...

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" a voice shouts frantically, getting louder and louder in volume. I look up in the direction of the voice, and then all I see is a flash of cyan, and then something slams right into my chest with enough force to knock me off my feet completely.

Me and whatever it was that hit me tumble end over end across the grass, limbs tangling together in a confusing and painful melee. A hoof smacks me in the nose, some hair gets in my mouth, and I think my back got scraped on a rock.

Finally, I end up flat on my back, staring up at the sky, with several pounds worth of pony stretched out across me. Of course, the pony on me starts struggling to get up immediately, and a hoof hits my chin painfully. "Fucking...get the hell off me!" I shouted, and then I promptly lift up my upper body, knocking the pony off of me.

I had though it was Flitter at first, but that was only because of the initial color I saw, and the fact that it was a pegasus. Turns out I was wrong. Way wrong. There's so much fucking color on this pony it practically hurts my eyes.

"All right all right, I'm sorry. Wish you hadn't been standing there." The pony has a rough, scratchy voice that right now sounds rather irritated.

The pony had a roundish jaw, so I'm assuming it's female. But her fucking color scheme is ridiculous. Get this. She has a cyan colored coat, and has a white cloud with a multicolored lightning bolt for her butt tattoo. That's where the normal ends. Her mane and tail are scruffy and untamed, and are colored every single color of the fucking rainbow.

"Sorry?! What is it with you fucking ponies and knocking me down all the time?" I snap viciously, leaping to my feet. "Do none of you watch where the hell you're going?!"

"Look, buddy, I said I was sorry. You don't have to be a jerk about it!" the other pony shoots back at me.

"No, fuck you! Do you know how fast you were going? What if my head had hit a rock?! I could have been killed!" I shout, stepping closer. The other pony looks like she's about to respond, but then my words hit home, and her eyes widen.

"Yeah...I guess you're right. I'm sorry," she apologizes, hanging her head a bit. I still don't want to accept it, but I've made my point. I can be satisfied with that for now. There's an awkward silence as I continue to glare at her. She awkwardly shuffles her hooves on the ground. "So...this probably isn't the best way to meet someone."

"You think?" is my cold response. I see her wince at that.

"Can we start over?" she suggests. Ugh, what a hassle. She looks like she won't let it go until I let her talk, so I give her an expectant look. It takes her a second before she realizes that I'm letting her go first. "So...my name's Rainbow Dash. I'm the fastest pegasus in Equestria!"

Oh...so she's one of those. An ego the size of Montana and not enough sense to match. I can already tell I'm going to hate this girl.

"Yeah, that's great. I'm Seth Rogers," I reply, and then I walk right past her in an attempt to leave this stupid situation behind. That doesn't work, because Rainbow falls into step right beside me.

"You're right, it really is great! There's no pony out there that can match me! Except for maybe the Wonderbolts, but that's because they're the best of the best!" she continues, her voice gaining a fangirlish tone near the end of her sentence.

"Uh-huh, I'm sure you're the greatest and all," I deadpan, honestly hoping she'll take the hint and get lost. Rainbow seems to pick up on my lack of enthusiasm.

"What, you don't believe me?" she asks with a grin, almost as if she's taking it as a challenge. I groan in irritation.

"There's a difference between not believing, and not caring," I tell her flatly. Huh, judging by the look on her face, I'd say I struck a nerve. Yup, I suspected as much. People with egos like her are hurt most when someone could really care less about their accomplishments. Score one for the human.

"...You're really kind of a jerk. What exactly are you, anyway?" Rainbow finally asks, looking at me bitterly.

"I am a human. I'm getting really sick and tired of having to explain it to every single person I meet!" I snap at her.

"You mean pony?"

"...Yes, I mean pony. Fuck this world..." I curse. Come to think of it, I'm not all that surprised that Rainbow doesn't know what I am. Mentions of my race seem to be most prevalent in literature, and Rainbow doesn't seem all that smart.

"Why are you headed to Applejack's, anyway?" Rainbow asks curiously, tilting her head to one side.

"For the love of god, can you just leave me alone already? All of you fucking ponies are just too damn nosy. When will you get it that I don't want your company!" I yell at her, losing my patience at last.

"Celestia forbid I try to be friendly with the new guy!. With that kind of attitude, I doubt even Pinkie will want to be your friend," Rainbow counters, making her the first pony here that has actually shouted back at me.

"You know what, I'm perfectly fine with that. I never asked for your friendship anyway. Now do me a favor and get lost," I shoot back coldly. Rainbow looks furious, but she does take to the air, hovering a few feet above me.

"You are such a jerk! Have fun being alone all the time!" she yells at me, and then she zooms away almost faster than I can see. Huh, guess there was some merit in her claims of being fast. Not that I actually care.

Well, now that that unwelcome interruption is out of the way, I can actually do what I came to do. I can already see most of the farm from here.

From here, I can see a large barn, colored stereotypically. You know, the whole red and white motif. It's located smack dab in the middle of a wide open plain. On the left, I can see carrot farms, interestingly enough. Good to know that this town isn't so stupid as to ONLY farm apples. Speaking of apples, I'm fucking hungry. I wonder if the barn's owner wouldn't mind if I had one. Or fourteen.

On the right, I see a chicken coop, as well as a line of smaller shacks, whose purpose I can't quite make out. Directly in front of me, there's a white fence with an archway, upon which is a sign emblazoned with the words "Sweet Apple Acres."

There's also another pony near the fence, hammering in nails with a hammer in its mouth. It's also a really tiny pony. Like, half the size of the ponies I've met before now. It's a pale yellow color, with a red mane and tail and a bow on its head. Surprising, I don't see a butt tattoo. That's a new one. Maybe Twilight can explain that one to me at one point.

It looks like an average worker, so I ignore it completely and attempt to walk through the archway. I don't get very far before the small pony exhibits the first sensible reaction towards me that I've seen so far.

It emits a very feminine screech of terror and fucking books it back towards, the barn, dropping the hammer on the ground in the process. Heh, it's about time I somebody acted with some sense around here.

Let's hope it doesn't come back to bite me. I catch sight of two more ponies emerging from the barn, followed by the smaller one, who's hiding behind the others. One of the new ponies is male and fucking massive, while the other is female.

The male is giant. I think I said that before, but let me reiterate that. He's fucking huge. Like, a hit from those back legs could probably crush my rib cage. Actually, he'd probably obliterate me, considering he doesn't have any wings or a horn, meaning he's a super strong earth pony. His fur is colored a deep red, and his mane and tail are orange and messy. There's a green apple on his ass, whatever that means.

The female look ridiculous. Everything about her screams "I'm an apple farmer!" I've heard of dressing for the job, but being your job? That starts to make me wonder whether or not a pony's talent is determined at birth.

Anyway, her fur is orange, and her mane and tail are blonde and tied at the ends. There's a couple of apples on her ass, and hilariously enough, she's wearing a stetson hat on her head.

I can't help it. I have to laugh. She thinks she's people. Nobody but a human can pull a hat like that off. And not even we do it well. You know what? Hats are just fucking stupid. Even in my era, humans that run around wearing fedoras, backwards baseball caps, or leather hats just look like douchebags, and not fashionable. On women, it's unattractive as all hell. Excuse me, hair on a woman is half the appeal, so if you cover it up, I already halfway hate the way you look.

Descriptions aside, they really don't look happy to see me. The way those two ponies are standing clearly indicates aggression. As sensible as they are being, this is going to be one hell of a hassle. Time to show these ponies I'm not to be trifled with.

I walk through the archway, hefting my rifle over my shoulder. Sometimes I really wish this thing had a knife on the end of it. Or better yet, bottomless clip. I feel like I'd continuously run around with my hand on the trigger if that was the case.

"This is the monster you were talkin' 'bout, Apple Bloom?" the female asks in a very country accent. I notice she has a lasso coiled around one of her hooves.

"Yea, that's it allraht!" the smaller pony squeaks. Her voice has a twang to it too, and it's more high pitched than the other. I think she may be a child. Dammit, I hate children.

"Gimme jus' one second. Ah'll take care of it," the hat wearing pony declares, and she uncoils the rope around her hoof and starts twirling it in the air masterfully. I should probably say something now unless I want to end up all trussed up.

"Sis, ah think that's a-" the male begins in a deeper voice, but I'm already talking.

"I'd rather you not do that. Don't you ponies have rules against binding intelligent animals?" I express. The fact that I have the ability to speak causes the rope swinging pony to lower the rope in shock.

"You kin talk?" she splutters. Apple Bloom, if that's the foal's name, is now staring out from behind the orange pony's leg with wonder in her large eyes.

"O' course, he's a-" the male starts again.

"No, I actually can't. What you're hearing right now is a complete figment of your imagination," I deadpan, wondering why in the hell all of these fucking ponies have to be so stupid.

The orange pony adopts a sheepish expression at my sarcastic quip, while Apple Bloom actually giggles. Damn foal.

"Ah'm sorry 'bout tha rude welcomin'. If ah'd have known you were intelligent, ah wouldn't a' jumped ta conclusions," the orange pony apologizes.

"Ah knew he was intelligent," the male attempts to interject, but nobody pays him any attention as the orange pony walks up to me and offers a hoof to me in reconciliation. I glance at it warily. I'd rather not take it, but it's necessary to have a professional relationship with a potential employer.

I reach out tentatively and grasp her hoof with my right hand...which she immediately grips somehow and starts shaking enthusiastically. God, for a pony, she has a crazy strong grip. I can feel that earth pony strength already.

"It's a pleasure making' yer acquaintance, sir. Ah'm Applejack. Welcome ta Sweet Apple Acres! It's always nice ta sea new face aroun' here!" She introduces herself enthusiastically, making me feel somewhat uncomfortable with how friendly she's being. Whenever I'd introduce myself to a human, I usually get this face that says, "why the fuck are you talking to me?", and an attitude to match. That always kills any kind of joy I get out of meeting new people. It happened so much, I just don't care to meet new people anymore. So how the fuck do I react to such a change in demeanor? Are ponies just fucking crazy?

"Sure, I guess. I'm Seth Rogers," I stammer a bit, still caught off guard. Finally releasing my hand, Applejack points her hoof at the other two ponies.

"This little one here is mah sis, Apple Bloom," she begins, indicating the smaller one. Just as I expected.

"I am NOT little!"

"An' this pony here is mah brother, Big McIntosh," she continues, while I eye the red one, still a bit cautious of all that power I can see in his bulging muscles. Then, Applejack looks back at me and gives a friendly smile. "So what kin ah do ya for?"

...

...

...

Mind, get out of the gutter. Mind, get out of the gutter.

"I actually came here looking for work. I'm flat broke," I say honestly. Applejack brightens at that.

"Wait jus' one moment!" she orders me, and then she gallops back into the barn. Only moments later, she returns harnessed to a cart filled with empty baskets stacked atop one another. She gestures with a hoof to follow her.

"That's right convenient. Why, ah was jus' mentionin' ta Granny Smith how we was runnin' out o' time before the first snow," she responds happily, walking away from the barn and towards the wide field of apple trees that I had remembered seeing. Just before we left the area, Applejack turns back to her family. "Apple Bloom, would you mind finishin' that fence? Oh, an' Big Mac, there's some chores 'round the barn that need doin'."

I watch the other two make varying sounds of acknowledgement before they disperse to do what they were told. Seems like Applejack calls the shots around here. I don't know who this Granny Smith pony she mentioned, but I get the feeling it'll be a green pony who's old. Come on, this world is ridiculous, but I doubt it would have a pun like that.

"You any good at applebuckin'?" Applejack suddenly queries as we walk into the field of apple trees. I raise an eyebrow at that.

"Applebucking?" I repeat, unfamiliar with the term. Applejack nods. When we reach the first tree that still has apples in it, she unbuckles herself from the cart and trots over to it. God, she looks ridiculous in that hat.

She turns to face me. "Mind placin' some o' those baskets for me?" she asks, though in my mind it's not really a question. This is essentially my first day on the job, so her every wish is my command, as cliche as that sounds.

The baskets are bulky, but not heavy at all. Since I'm fully healed, lifting two or three of them at a time is no problem. With her hoof, Applejack indicates several specific spots for me to place a basket. I mean, very specific.

"Place 'er right there. A mite left. Up a bit. Nah, I mean up from mah view. Right a bit. Ah, it's too far right now." My patience was getting very thin, but I've been in jobs with micro-managing bosses like this, and the only way to deal with it is to just keep quiet and do what you're told. So I do my best to follow her every command.

"Right, that looks good. Now step back," Applejack warns me. I do as I'm told, giving her plenty of room. Then, with a grunt of exertion, she slams her back two hooves into the trunk of the tree. My jaw drops when I see the entire tree visibly shake without enough force to dislodge each and every apple in the tree.

My awe only grows as I see the apples fall in disorganized clumps, but there's a basket in all the areas where the apples fall in highest concentration, such that every basket I placed is filled to the brim, with only one or two apples hitting the ground.

But...that's...what? Applejack had me do all those directions because she just knew where each apple was going to fall? But, this was a random tree. It's impossible for her to know exactly where they're going to fall unless she knew the tree well. But since I didn't see her plan this, does that mean she knows every tree in such intimate detail that she can predict where and how the apples will fall? Goddamn, that takes an incredible memory.

"So, ya think you kin do that?" Applejack asks me with honest curiosity. I notice that she's not even breathing hard from that. Fuck, these earth ponies are ridiculously strong.

"Yeah...nope. No way in hell," I confess. "I'm just not strong enough to pull off a feat like that."

I recoil a bit as I notice Applejack inspecting my leg muscles too closely for my liking. I have no idea what the social norms for ponies are, but a human would usually freak the fuck out if another human started staring at their legs. In some circles, that's considered creepy.

"Yeah, don't take this the wrong way, but yer right. Yer back leg muscles aren't as big as yer arm muscles," Applejack observes. "But ah'm sure ah kin think of a way ta use ya."

Too late. I've already thought of a way while you're busy telling me things I already know. While she had been talking, I had walked over to one of the full baskets and lifted it carefully, making sure not to spill any of the apples. Applejack watches me curiously as I carry the basket over to the cart and hoist it up onto it.

"That's a real good idea, Mr. Rogers! Ah reckon that'll make this job quicker if we got two o' us doin' this," she praises me. Yeah...real smart of me. No, you're just a little bit slow, that's all. Why does nobody here use their damn heads?

"Call me Seth," is the only thing I say in response, as I'm busy hoisting the other baskets onto the cart. Applejack smiles, probably thinking that I'm allowing her to act more casually with me. No...Mr. Rogers just reminds me of my dad. Who's currently long dead and decomposed. Or worse, he became an Oppressed. Heh, and now I'm slightly more depressed than usual. Thank you, King Jackass, for ruining my life.

"All raht, then. Now if y'all follow me, we got a lot o' applebucking to do," Applejack says enthusiastically. I swear to god, if she says something like git 'er done, I'm going to- "Let's git 'er done! Yeehaw!"

My face falls into my palm.

---

This chapter was fun to write, as I got to include three of the mane six. I don't want to be like some other HiE stories I've read, where the introduction to the mane six is rushed, so I'm taking my time with all of them.

I'm concerned on how well I did on characterizing Rainbow, Twilight, and Applejack, so if it's not too much trouble, please leave a comment telling me how I did.

I am so...goddamn...tired. I've never had to work this hard in my life. I've had a job before, but it's always been bagging at a grocery store or working in food services. It was difficult, but it never hurt as much as all this heavy lifting does. The only positive thing I can say is that the weather was nice and chilly, so I never down in my own sweat.

Anyhow, I should probably detail how things went. Applejack isn't a bad taskmaster, which I can be glad for. We started out doing much of teh same. I would place baskets for her according to her exact instructions, and then I would carry them to the cart once they were full.

The only issue that I found distasteful was when she tried to talk to me during all of this.

Ever since we started working, I'd let her do most of the talking, telling me what to do for most of the afternoon. It seems she wasn't content with just that, however, because when the sun passed its zenith, she attempted to strike up a conversation. Here's how it went.

"How are ya likin' Ponyville so far?" Applejack asks me just after I plunk a particularly heavy basket onto the cart.

"Everybody...here...is crazy," I say honestly, panting hard. I reach up with a hand and wipe away the sweat on my brow. I can't rest yet. There's more baskets to carry. I pass by Applejack as she hoists a basket of her own onto the cart.

"Ah take it ya met Pinkie Pie?" she asks me wryly, chuckling a bit at my description.

"Hell if I know," I respond, lifting another basket. How many damn apples are left? One quick glance shows me a huge amount of full apple trees left to harvest. I have to physically try not to groan. "You're...the second one to mention Pinkie. Who the hell is she?"

"She's Ponyville's resident party pony. Ya can't miss her. Braht pink coat, frizzy mane, balloons fer a cutie mark. Ring any bells?" Applejack describes. It does ring some bells, and it's not a happy memory.

"Oh...that bitch who nearly ran over me," I grunt, remembering the pink pony that wouldn't shut the fuck up after she nearly reopened my wounds. Applejack raises an eyebrow at how irritated I sound.

"Ya shouldn't be so hard on her. She takes some gettin' used to, but she's a real good friend to have," she admonished me, moving back to the cart.

"I'll take your word for it," I remark. Together, the two of us move the cart to the next tree.

"Alraht, if ya'll place them baskets here, here, and there." With Applejack's instruction, I place the baskets in seemingly random spots around the next tree. "What about you, Seth? Huh!" With that last exclamation, Applejack slams her back hooves into the tree, and the apples fall into the baskets. "You made any friends since coming to Ponyville?"

"Not really," I reply truthfully. I didn't consider any of these ponies friends. Granted, it took me at least a month before I considered Amaryllis a friend. Despite that, I don't want any friends here. Sombra showed me just how easy it is to lose them all.

"That's a raht shame, it is. Ya seem like a decent enough sort," Applejack affirmed, lifting one of the baskets. I grab another at the same time. I can't help but give a chuckle at her words. "What's so funny?"

"You clearly don't know me very well then," I asserted, and then slid the full basket onto the cart with a grunt. Applejack did the same not long afterwards. While still doing our work, we continued to have this mostly one sided conversation.

"Ah'd like to. Tell me a bit about yerself, Seth." Huh. Now that's certainly a straightforward way of asking. Of course, it gives me an easy way out of it too.

"No thanks," I tell her, focusing on my work and not looking at her. Applejack looks taken aback.

"Wha? Why not?" she asks, nonplussed.

"You're my boss, and I'm your employee. Let's leave it at that," I say bluntly. Applejack gazes at me for a long while, a sad frown crossing her face. Unfortunately for me, I miss the devious look that crosses her face a second later.

"Okay." That response causes to look at her suspiciously. She's not looking at me, instead focusing on her work. That's odd...she gave up way too easily. Twilight practically forced her "I'M YOUR FRIEND" spheal in my face, and Applejack just says "okay?"

Why do I get the idea she's planning something?

Finally, as the sun begins its descent towards the horizon, Applejack decides it's time to call it a day. Thank god. I feel like I'm dying. It doesn't help that my stomach feels like it's trying to eat itself at this point.

"Ya did good today, Seth," Applejack praises me as we haul the cart back to the barn, filled to the brim with apple baskets. I only have the strength to grunt in response. This earns a hearty chuckle from her. "Bet it was harder work than ya expected."

"No...I knew...it was going...to be hell..." I moan , slouching even as I walk. It hurts to walk...ugh...life in Ponyville is going to suck if I have to do this every day.

"Ah reckon ya'll git a lot stronger by the end o' harvest season," Applejack claims as she looks at my muscles. "All this excercise'll do ya good."

I say nothing to that, but she's got a point. I guess if I keep working here, I'll finally get that muscle mass I've always wanted. You see, after watching animes like Dragon Ball and Fairy Tail, I wanted to get ripped like they do, but I was always just too lazy to keep to a workout schedule. Of course, now that I have to excercise or starve, maybe I'll get a six pack. Who knows.

We push the cart into the barn together, and I get my first look inside it...and it's empty. I'm not even kidding. There's a large expanse of hay stretching out before me, with a loft on the other end and a few areas on either side separated by wooden partitions. At the other end of the barn is where several tools and other utilities are stored, like more carts.

"Let's jus' git it up agains' this wall," Applejack grunts, and the two of us move the cart up to the area she had indicated. I release it with a grunt and collapse against the wall, my back resting against it. Applejack chuckles a bit at how pitiful I must look. Dammit...I wish I could quit, but I need the money. Speaking of which, I wonder how much I'm getting paid for this.

"Raht! That takes care o' that. Care ta step inside ma house while I git yer pay?" Applejack offers. I shrug and fall into step beside her as she walks towards a door in the back left corner of the barn. I might as well. Better than standing out in the cold.

When we step inside, I take a quick look around. It's a rectangular room, with paintings lining the walls and a few windows gazing out over the farm. There's an orange rung on the ground as well. I also spot a door on my left that leads into a decently sized kitchen, from which I can smell a hint of something fucking amazing. Oooh...they're cooking food...I'm so fucking hungry.

In front of me, near the rug, Big McIntosh and Applebloom are playing together in an adorable fashion. She keeps trying to climb all the way up to his head, but he keeps her from reaching it by grabbing her with his forelegs and tickling her senseless. I can't help but smile a bit at the clear display of sibling love. It reminds me of my own brother.

---

I was sitting on the leather couch in my parent's house, when my parents were out. My brother, Adam, was beside me. Our eyes were riveted on the plasma screen television that spanned the back wall of the room, where one of the final episodes of Soul Eater was playing.

The two of us were on the edge of our seats, our breath coming quickly, as we were completely immersed in the events unrolling before us. Our jaws dropped as the character on the screen grew to a plane of heightened power we'd never seen from him before. Was he going to do it? Was he going to finish off the enemy once and for all?

We both groaned when the scene changes to the point of view of characters away from what seemed to be the final battle, and it wasn't long before the episode ended.

"Damn...that was awesome!" Adam gasped, turning to face me. "Hurry, put the next one on!"

"You know, maybe you should do it this time. I'm feeling a bit lazy," I said, though the real reason was because I was immersed, and I didn't want to get up, lest I lose the sensation.

"Nuh-uh, Mr. Anime. This is your show, remember? I just happen to think it's so awesome and sit with you while you watch it," Adam pointed out.

"Hm, then maybe I'll decide to stop for today," I needled him, turning my nose up at him and pretending to look serious. Adam scoffed incredulously.

"Seriously? You're really going to pull that card on me? You're going to stop right here, just before the final episode? You're evil dude," he countered with a grin. Then something occured to him. "You know, you're basically Asura."

My grin soon mirrors him, and then I stand up, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around my neck, such that it served as a makeshift cloak. I then wrapped a scarf around my face, leaving a tiny gap for my eyes. In a really cheesy villain voice, I quoted, "What you offer is order and authority, which gives humans the illusion of security and peace, but what truly lies under the thin layer of rationality you attempt to impose on the world?"

Adam laughed rambunctiously at the admittedly hilarious spectacle. From the kitchen counter nearby, my brother grabbed two stacks of red plastic solo cups, shoved his fists into them, and then shouted at the top of his lungs, "SANZU DEATH CANNON!"

I laughed myself when he thrust the stacks of cups at me. I swiped my hand to the side, and the cups went everywhere, bouncing off of the furniture and the floor with a cacaphonous clattering sound. "Your attacks are nothing to me! I will bring this world to its knees!"

"Not if I can stop you!" Adam yelled comically, and then threw himself at me. He tackled me to the ground, and then the both of us start wrestling across the carpet, laughing and spouting serious quotes from the show.

"Kishin Hunter!"

"Tsubaki: Fey Blade mode!"

"Death Cannon!"

"Vector Arrow!"

My brother was always stronger than me, so he easily pinned me down until I admitted his victory. "No! I am the Demon God Asura! I cannot be defeated!" I yell in mock anguish. Adam repeatedly thrusts his arms up into the air, humming the Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare. I shove him over before he can finish it, knocking him onto the couch. "Back attack!"

"Ah, dick move, bro!" Adam said, chuckling as he rose from the couch. "But I won, so put on the next episode."

"Fair enough."

---

Those were better times. I realize I've been watching them play for a while with that dumb smile on my face. I look and see that Applejack had been looking at me, smiling at something. Shit, she saw that didn't she?

The smile drops from my face. "What?" I ask, irritated. I hope she doesn't think that I want to be friends just because I remember my brother fondly.

"Nuthin," Applejack replies, her smile turning a little smug. Shit...she did see. Well, guess I gotta be a little colder than usual to convince her it was a fluke. Even though it wasn't. Goddammit. "Ah'm gonna grab yer pay. One sec."

I recline against the wall as Applejack heads upstairs to wherever she keeps her money.

Suddenly, I notice a lime green pony resting in a rocking chair on the other side of the room from where Big Mac and Apple Bloom are playing. She looks extremely old, as her mane is all scraggly and white, and she's got these deep wrinkles. I don't know how long ponies live in this world, so I can't make a guess as to how old she is. Let me guess, that's Granny Smith. What a cruel pun. Ugh.

Anyhow, she looks fast asleep. So I have to sit here bored for a while, because Big Mac and Apple Bloom aren't paying much attention to me. Not that I'd want them to.

Applejack soon returns with a jingling sack of what I hope is a lot of money. "There ya go, sir!" she tells me enthusiastically, handing me the sack. I take it gratefully, as this is essentially my food money.

"Thanks for the pay," I answer her. I turn around and head towards the door that leads outside.

"Hey, Seth?" Applejack speaks up suddenly. I pause and give her a look. "Why don't ya stay fer dinner tonight?"

"...Why would I do that?" I ask, raising my eyebrow. Strangely enough, Applejack doesn't look offended by the question.

"So ya could eat, o' course," she says with a smirk. You know, considering how hungry I am, I almost accept, but then I'd be in her debt. There's no fucking way.

"Sorry, but no," I tell her flatly. Applejack nods her head understandingly, irritatingly enough. Why are you being so...so...understanding? I don't know how to deal with this! Dammit, I'm basically Crona.

I turn back around and head for the door. "Can ah 'spect ya tomorrow?" Applejack asks.

"Probably," is my terse reply.

"It was nice meetin' ya!" Apple Bloom calls when she breaks free of her brother, and she waves a hoof at me. You know, for a kid, she's relatively well behaved. That's surprising. I'm so used to humans and their shitty parenting skills.

"Sure," I say uncomfortably, and then I exit through the door, shutting it behind me. I guess Applejack isn't that bad, compared to everyone else.

I immediately wish I was back inside. It's getting colder out here. Unless I get a room tonight, I'm going to die of hypothermia or something, what with the storm and all. Speaking of which, I look up into the sky. Sure enough, I can see clouds sweeping in from the east. My eyes widen in shock as I notice one key detail. The clouds aren't moving on their own. Yeah, this'll sound fucking unbelievable, but I can see pegasi weaving in and out of the towering thunderhead, actually grabbing onto wisps of cloud with their hooves and pushing it slowly across the sky.

I fall on my ass, completely struck speechless by the absurdity of what I was seeing. Ponies...control the fucking weather? How...I'm still in the same timeline with them, right? So why can't the clouds control themselves? Better question, what kind of pony in their right mind would create a storm that size? Are ponies gods? What the fuck...well, I've guess I've got something else to ask Twilight in the morning.

Anyhow, first things first. I stand back up, endeavoring to not look at the sky. I open the sack of money that I earned to see six small, round coins that were colored a shining gold. I reach in and touch one, and the metal is actually quite soft. Holy shit, is that actual gold?! I attempt to scratch it, but find that I can't. Huh, so it's either a gold substitute, or a gold alloy. The latter makes more sense, because we thought up the same idea back in our past.

Time to find out exactly how much these are worth. I set off back down the path towards the town proper. I have to get something to eat, and then I'll meet Vinyl at the park. Tonight should be a great way to relax and blow off steam once I get everything set up for her gig. I'm not hurt, so I should be able to dance a lot easier than before. I'm actually looking forward to it. God knows I'd go crazy if I didn't have something like that as an outlet for all this stress I've got.

Outlet...that reminds me. Shit, I completely forgot about my phone. I take it out of my pocket and unlock the screen. Thankfully, it's not dead yet. It looks like I've got around sixty percent battery. Before turning it off to save battery, I open my image folder. The last image is of Amaryllis and I at a formal dance at our college. She had been dressed in a stunning black dress that framed her form well, and the edges of her hair had been curled in such a way that it had made her look simply gorgeous. Me, I was just wearing a run of the mill suit. But we both looked happy, and it made me smile a little. God, I miss her so fucking much.

It feels like a little piece of me dies as well when I power the phone off, Amaryllis's face fading away into memory.

I continue on into the town square, deciding to take the direct route this time. I look up at the town hall, liking the way it looked. Of course, I can still notice the ponies staring at me with my peripheral vision.

There are some stalls set up around the perimeter of the square, selling all sorts of things. Thankfully, I notice one that sells what looks to be vegetables. I may not be able to make a salad, but I can certainly snack on some raw carrots or celery. I approach the stall.

"Hello there, and welcome to Golden Harvest Vegetables! What can I...um...what..." the goldenrod mare begins, but trails off with a gulp as I walk close enough for her to make out what I look like. "Uh...hi."

"That your...usual greeting?" I can't help but say. I'm getting really annoyed with all these ponies acting so differently around me. I actually miss the crowds of humans. At least there, no one would give me a second look.

"Um...sorry sir...I...well...you just...you're a..." the mare attempts to word, but she seems to be too intimidated by how much larger I am than she is.

"Human? Yes, yes I am. And no, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm hungry, so can we hurry this up?" I finish for her, and then answer the subsequent question that she may or may not have been thinking. The mare blinks, and then she attempts to compose herslef.

"Oh...okay. Well. In that case, let me try again," she stammers. Then, she clears her throat and says in a more confident voice, "Hello there, and welcome to Golden Harvest Vegetables! My name is Carrot Top! What can I get for you today, sir?"

One thing I can say for these ponies is that most of them give me some manner of respect. I like that. It's better than people just randomly talking to me and expecting me to answer.

"Hm...can you tell me how much twelve of those carrots and three celery sticks would cost?" I ask. Carrot Top appears to think for a moment before replying.

"For the lot? I'd say that would be around four bits. Is that acceptable sir?" she tells me. I frown a bit. Four bits? If I assume that one coin is a bit, then that's most of my money already. I wonder...

I kneel down so that I'm on her level, staring at her directly into her eyes. She looks a little unnerved by this, but seems to calm down after I give her my best friendly smile. "How about I drop it down to twelve carrots and two celery sticks? Do you think I could get that for three?" I've never actually haggled before, so I may end up looking like a total idiot, but it's worth a shot.

"Um...I guess I have made a few more sales today than usual," Carrot Top muses. Wait, is this actually working? Was it the way I dropped down a stick? It can't because I smiled, of course. That would just be dumb.

Carrot Top smiles brightly. "I think I can do that. Here you go, sir!" she says happily, wrapping my order in a bag. I fish out three bits and hand them to her, which she somehow takes with her hoof. Still have no idea how they grab anything with hooves.

"Thanks," I murmur, and then I take a monstrous bite out of the first carrot. Oh dear god...this has to be the best fucking carrot I've ever tasted. Maybe that's because of how hungry I am. Whatever. All I know is that it tastes like pure heaven in my mouth.

"You're welcome sir. Please enjoy, and have a nice evening!" Carrot Top calls after me as I walk away, munching on the carrot like no tomorrow.

Honestly, I have no idea where I'm walking. If there's any way to describe the situation I'm in now, it's by this one little nonsensical statement: Om nom motherfucking nom. It's a good thing that these aren't those measly tiny carrots that you get in grocery stories. No, these are those fucking giant ones that you usually chop up and put in a stew. Nope. I'm eating them all as they are right now.

I finall reach a street corner. There's a bench nearby, so I sit down on it. That way I can focus entirely on eating, and less on walking.

And that's how I spend the rest of somewhere around ten minutes. When I at last eat the last celery stick, I sit back with a satisfied sigh, feeling comfortably full for the first time since leaving the Everfree.

Taking a look around, I realize I'm near the park I'm trying to get to, except on the other side from where I told Vinyl I'd be. I stand up and start moving, feeling more energetic than ever. Life still sucks, but at least I feel ready to handle it.

There are still a few ponies around the park, laughing and playing around, despite the fact that they're probably adults. It's odd how carefree some of these ponies are. It's like they've never known real hardship in their lives. I envy them.

Then I wonder something. What exactly are the royalty doing to keep the country from knowing exactly how hard life is? Because whatever they're doing, I feel like our current president could learn a thing or two. Well, if he was still alive that is. Which he's not. Fucking Sombra and his Oppressed.

When I reach the other side of the park, I notice that Vinyl isn't here yet. Good, that'll give me time to relax. I settle down on the grass, gazing up at the sky. The clouds are getting closer, and the wind is picking up, ruffling my long hair.

Shit. I just realized that ponies will have no idea how to cut human hair. So my hair, which is shoulder length right now, is just going to keep getting longer. Well, fuck. Looks like I'm learning to cut my own hair.

"Hey yo! Seth!" I know that voice. Lifting up my head, I spot Vinyl Scratch trotting across the street towards me, her sunglasses reflecting the remaining light of the sunset. I lift a hand and wave in acknowledgement. "S'up! I haven't seen ya since yesterday. How's it hanging?"

"Well enough, I suppose. Worked my ass off at Sweet Apple Acres," I grunt, keeping a respectful tone. Vinyl's technically my boss too, as well as a musician.

"Nice, dude. Applejack'll treat ya well there. You coming? I got a sweet gig set up at Sugarcube Corner tonight!" Vinyl responds, coming to a stop right by my side.

"Yeah, I'm coming," I reply. Just as I'm about to get up, Vinyl offers me a hoof. Damn you for being my boss. I take it, and she helps me stand back up.

"Awesome. Let's go," Vinyl says, grinning. I grab my rifle and we start moving to who knows where. I don't know what Sugarcube Corner, but it's really starting to make me crave something sweet. But I've already spent enough money today. Chances are, three bits won't get me a hotel room. Guess I'm going to get wet tonight. Maybe electrocuted too, since that's a thunderstorm. That would make living here easier. You know, since I'd be dead. Totally kidding by the way. That's the coward's way out.

"By the way, what's up with that piece of metal you keep lugging around?" Vinyl inquires, snapping me back out of my thoughts. Huh. She's probably the first one to ask about my rifle.

"It's essentially a glorified walking stick," I admit. It really doesn't have any purpose at this point. "I'm mostly holding onto it for sentimental reasons."

"Heck, I'll get you a strap for it then," Vinyl suggests, smiling at my words. I shook my head.

"No, I'd rather you not do me any favors," I asserted. I already fucked up by letting Twilight help me out. Sorry Vinyl, I won't be in anyone else's debt.

"Oh, don't be stupid. I literally have an old guitar strap from when my buddy Ember used to live with me. I was going to throw it away," Vinyl presses.

"Yeah, but-" I begin, but Vinyl cuts across me.

"I'm your boss, right?" she points out with a knowing grin. Oh, she is not pulling this card.

"...yes."

"Then I order you to take the strap," Vinyl says with finality, her grin turning smug. She did just play that card. You...you...fine. Well played.

"Fine," I mutter, a little bitter. Vinyl smirks, her victory assured. Bitch, I'll remember this.

Vinyl leads me down various streets, her pace quickening as the wind gets stronger. "Shoot, we need to hurry, bro. It'll be a pain if it starts raining while we're trying to unload the cart," she says worriedly.

Eventually, we reach a small house that has a wooden ramp set up to the front door. That must be so we can get the cart out easily. "Come on in. This is my pad," Vinyl tells me, opening the door with her magic, which glows an electric blue, like her mane. I reluctantly follow her inside. When I try to look around, she jabs me lightly with a hoof. "Sightsee later. We got a storm to beat."

Dammit she has a point. Thankfully, she's got the cart set up with all of the equipment in it already. I can see lots of mechanical equipment inside, along with several cartons marked with Equestrian, which I can't read because several years of learning the alphabet is now fucking useless.

Without waiting for direction, I grab onto the bar and pull the cart towards the door. Vinyl is helping me as well, so it isn't long before we get the cart through the doorway. It takes a bit of strength to keep it from rolling down the ramp, but soon we've got it on the ground and ready to roll.

"Just push from the back and follow my lead!" Vinyl commands, raising her voice a bit over the intensifying wind. I don't reply, instead moving around to the back of the cart like I was ordered and pushing.

I have no idea where we're going. The only reason I know that we're evenchaging direction is because I can feel the cart jerking in a different direction, and I have to angle my body so that I can push in that direction as well. This happens several more times before we reach what I assume to be our destination.

I step out from behind the cart, look at the building, and my right eye immediately begins to twitch. The thing is shaped like a fucking gingerbread house. I'm not even kidding. It looks like I can just chomp on the fucking roof and have it taste like chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, my sweet tooth is acting up again. Yeah. This building makes me crave chocolate.

The door to the building slams open, and a familiar, hated voice sounds out. "Oh hello Vinyl! Hurry up and come in, we don't have much time before the Cakes get here, and it would be just terrible if weren't ready in time!" It's that pink pony I met earlier, with that overly high pitched voice. I think I'm already starting to get a headache. It's a good thing I'm hidden behind the cart. I'll have a few seconds to prepare myself mentally before having to talk to that menace.

"You got it, Pinks. You got the ramp set up to get this baby inside?" Vinyl questions, pulling the cart a bit closer to the door.

"Yes indeed-y! Roll 'er up! I'm just about done baking this super duper incredible cake!" Pinkie exclaims happily, and then I hear something bouncing away. What the fuck is up with that pink...thing?

"All right, dude, let's get inside before it starts pouring on us," Vinyl says, pulling the cart. I push on the end, and I feel it rolling up a ramp and inside the building. The moment we step inside, a thunderclap sounds in the heavens, and the first drops of rain start to fall. "That was close."

The first thing to assault my senses is the smell of chocolate and candy. Goddamn, that smells fucking amazing. I wonder if there will be free food at this thing. That would make my night.

Stepping out from behind the cart, I look around the inside of teh building. It's like I've stepped into a birthday party for a five year old. The candy themed decorations aside, there are streamers and balloons everywhere, along with a banner that says, "Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Cake!" stretched across the archway in the back portion of the room.

Yeah, this room is mostly open space, with a green carpet stretched across the floor. To my left, there's a raised area that looks like it would hold tables for sit in eating, but it's been completely cleared out for some reason or another. Straight ahead, I can see a counter with a glass front, the kind you'd usually see in candy shops. There are candies and cupcakes displayed inside of it, and they look really delicious. I want one. On the right, there's a longer, wooden counter, with an old fashioned cash register set up.

Also, I can see multiple tables set up, with various drinks and other foodstuffs above them. Sweet, that means I get free food. So working for Vinyl comes with free refreshments. This is great. Maybe not healthy, but it's awesome, so it's totally okay.

Then there are the ponies everywhere. There are many other ponies invited to this gig or whatever, some of which I recognize. Unfortunately, that means that some of them recognize me as well.

"Mr. Seth!" I turn my head to see Flitter walking towards me with a smile on her face. She has a plate of cookies on her back that somehow stays balanced as she walks. I give her an unethusiastic wave, but it doesn't seem like it's going to keep her from talking to me.

"Weren't you working on this storm or whatever?" I ask with a sigh. Flitter nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, actually. I've never created anything more than overcast weather so this was really interesting!" she exclaimed. "But once the storm got really big, Rainbow Dash told me that the more experienced members would take over."

"So...Rainbow Dash is actually somewhat important?" I query, surprised to hear that egotistical brat's name. Flitter's eyes widened, and then she nodded.

"Oh yes! Miss Dash leads the Ponyville weather team! She's really good at it," Flitter informs me. Great...so I may have pissed off somebody important. Oh well, it's not like I need the approval of the weather team anyway. "She'll actually be here later tonight!"

...Oh you have got to be kidding me. I was just about to say something when yet another pony I recognize calls out my name. "Seth! Fancy seeing you here!" I turn, and to my surprise, Twilight is trotting towards me. Oh dear god, how many other ponies am I going to have to talk to?

"Hey bro! Save the socializing for later, you've got stuff to carry for me!" Vinyl calls from behind me. Thank you so fucking much, Vinyl.

"I'll be with you in a minute, Twilight, Flitter," I tell them, moving back to the cart. I pick up the first carton I see and heave it out of the cart.

"All right. I'll be over by the counter then," Twilight replies understandingly, moving away, while Flitter just nods, munching on a cookie. "Come see me when you get a chance!"

"Sure, whatever. Boss, where do I put this stuff?" I say, glancing at Vinyl.

"Just move everything in this cart to that raised area up there," she orders me, pointing a hoof at the cleared out area. "Unless it's labeled 'LED.' Those I want placed in this open area out here."

"I can't read Equestrian," I admit somewhat sheepishly. Vinyl stares at me for a moment. I can't read what she's thinking because of those glasses.

"All right then, come here," she finally says. Putting the box I'm holding down, I move over to her. Vinyl points a hoof at a particular box, upon which is more of that Equestrian scrawl. "That's LED in Equestrian. If you can memorize what that looks like, you should be fine."

I squint at the letters for a bit, and I notice a character that looks a little like "shi" in Katakana. I can remember that. "Got it," I say with a nod, and then I pick the box on the ground back up.

"Pinks! Can you clear the dance floor for me? I need room to set up!" Vinyl calls to the back room.

"Oki Doki Loki!" Pinkie chirps, bouncing back out into the front room. What the fuck did she just say? I don't...this fucking pony.

Over the next thirty minutes, Vinyl and I work together to set up her ensemble. For the smaller stuff, it's easy for me to move everything into the staging area on my own, but for her speakers and table, we have to carry them together.

Her tables and primary speakers are set up in the back corner of the staging area, so that she can sit behind them and blast her awesome without the sound destroying her ears. While she is setting up her tables, I am running cables to and from her tables to the speakers. Apparently she powers her tables with magic, which then runs through all these little cables to power the speakers and lights. If magic works anything like it does in human literature, it has to be tiring keeping all of this running for hours on end.

As for the lights, Vinyl helps me set them up down on the dance floor. It's around this time that Pinkie comes out of the kitchen with a fucking massive cake. After placing it on a table, she finally notices that I'm here. Thankfully though, she sees that I'm busy and just watches me work.

When the lights are set up, Vinyl turns to me. "Thanks for all your help, bro. I'll pay ya at the end of the night," she tells me with a grin. After I give her a nod in acknowledgement, she gallops back to her tables, no doubt ready to start playing.

Of course, the second I look like I'm not working, who do you think comes to talk to me? That fucking pink pony, that's who. "Hi!" Pinkie greets me brightly, bouncing up to me. Yeah, bouncing. Like, she hops on all four hooves multiple times. What the fuck.

"What do you want?" I demand coldly, not in the mood to deal with her. All I want to do is rest against a wall somewhere and eat sweets until I'm stuffed.

"Well, you're new in town, so I wanted to introduce myself because I like to know everypony in Ponyville!" Pinkie shoots off words at a mile a minute, making my brain work overtime to understand everything she's saying. "So hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm your new best friend!"

"I'm sorry, what? Did you just declare yourself my best friend?" I ask incredulously. Pinkie nods enthusiastically, and then she starts bouncing around me in circles. What in the...so much stupid...I don't know how to deal with this! And Crona returns. Goddammit.

"Yup yup! Everypony needs a friend, especially one that is new to the town and possibly to the world because no one has ever seen a human before now except in pictures and stuff, which were really pretty but they are no substitute for the real thing," she keeps talking at that incredible pace. Once I manage to make sense of what she just said, I blink. Did...she just call me pretty? "So I wanted to say welcome welcome-"

Pinkie had actually started to sing, but thankfully, an orange hoof wraps around her mouth, keeping her quiet. Applejack is apparently here too. "Now, Pinkie Pie, don't go crowdin' Seth here," she admonishes Pinkie lightly. I would thank her, but I'm getting the fuck out of dodge before Pinkie finds me.

I dart around the corner to the counter, zipping around a surprised Twilight and resting against the wood next to her. "Hi. Save me from that fucking pink menace," I whispered to her. Twilight giggles at how panicked I look.

"She's not that bad, once you get used to her. Take it from me, though, there's no hiding from her when she really wants to talk to you. Rainbow can tell you that much," Twilight warns me. I groan and rub my forehead.

"That bitch gives me a headache every time she opens her mouth...if I have to see her every day, I'm going to get an aneurism and die," I grunt. "So what is this party even for?"

"This? Oh, the owners of this store, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, won an award for their culinary abilities, and were in Canterlot for the past few days to showcase some of their best dishes," Twilight explains. Huh, that's pretty sweet I guess. Makes me want to eat their food more. Speaking of which, I reach over and grab a cupcake from one of the tables.

"How long do these things generally last?" I continue, taking a bite from the cupcake. Oh dear god, it tastes like pure chocolate heaven. Before Twilight can answer, I have to emit a small moan. "Oh god, this is fucking glorious."

"You see why they won an award? As for your question, a Pinkie party usually lasts until the last pony leaves, which can be around midnight or later," Twilight replies with a warm smile. I don't respond, as I'm busy enjoying this magical bundle of confectionary awesomness. But essentially, this is like a college party, only with less alcohol and more sweets. I'm totally okay with that, too.

"Where's the punch?!" yells a pony who had just entered, colored a plum pink with a raspberry mane and tail. I raise an eyebrow at that, but I lose sight of her in the steadily growing crowd of ponies.

"Oh, Berry Punch is here," Twilight remarks with a smile.

Seconds later, a thoroughly soaked Rainbow Dash walks in through the front door. "Yeah! Check out this masterpiece I got running outside!" she calls out proudly, pointing with a hoof out into the pouring rain.

"Oh sure, you made getting here a pain in the tail before the storm hit!" Vinyl responds with a grin from the raised area, catching Rainbow's eyes.

"That's your fault for being slow!" Rainbow jokes, and then she shakes herself like a dog, sending droplets of water flying around her.

"Dashie! So glad you could make it! We've got almost everypony!" Pinkie greets the cyan mare with a bright smile, bouncing over to her with a towel. Rainbow takes the towel gratefully and wraps it around her body.

"Hey, Pinkie. Are the Cakes here yet?" Rainbow inquires, looking around.

"No, silly billy! If they were here, the party would already be started!" Pinkie answers, and then the two of them walk back into the crowd, talking animatedly.

Yep, this feels like a college party. It's just as uncomfortable as one too. Too bad I can't leave. I'm getting paid to stick around and help Vinyl pack up at the end of the night.

Which probably means I'm going to have to socialize. This will not end well.

---

So many new ponies to characterize! Applejack was difficult for some reason, despite how straightforward she is in the show. But on the other hand, I get to write more dialogue with (best pony) Pinkie Pie! She's going to get a song sometime soon, and Seth is going to flip a table.

There's gonna be a lot more of Vinyl too. Also, I'm bringing in Rarity next chapter I believe. Stay tuned for more!

Several more ponies arrive over the course of several minutes, and then Pinkie seems satisfied that everyone on the guest list is here. Because she's trying to surprise the Cakes, all of the lights are out.

"All right, everypony! You know the drill! The Cakes are on their way, so keep quiet until I flick on the lights!" Pinkie announces over the chattering of the crowd of ponies. The chattering slowly quiets down as the ponies all head to hiding places.

I can't believe I'm participating in a surprise party. This kind of thing seems so...childish. I don't know how old these ponies are, but I think I'd prefer a a more formal arrangement...ah who am I kidding, I'd never want a party for anything I do. Unless it's just Amaryllis. And she brings alcohol.

"Hello again, Seth," a pony whispers to to me as she settles next to me behind the counter. I turn my head to try and see who's next to me, but it's too dark to see anything other than a vague outline.

"Uh...too dark," I whisper back. I hear a small chuckle from the pony, and then a dim light forms from seemingly nothing. The light, which is coming from the horn of the pony next to me, reveals a familiar mint green unicorn. Lyra soon extinguishes the light. "Oh. Hey."

"Good to see you again. Talk to me after the surprise?" Lyra asks me softly. I nod, but then I remember that she can't see me.

"Sure. I'll probably be eating or dancing," I reply uncaring. Lyra giggles a bit.

"I can't wait to see that," she whispers, but then the pony next to her, who I'm assuming is Bon Bon, hushes her.

"Quiet, they're coming!" a pony hisses. Everything goes as silent as a tomb. Sure enough, I can hear two ponies talking outside.

"Oh thank Celestia...we're home. I can't wait to be in out of this rain," a mature female's voice filters in through the door, barely audible over the sound of the storm. The door opens, the bell ringing, and the silouhette of two ponies step inside, folding up their umbrellas and stashing them nearby.

"Huh, it's so dark. Let me light up some candles and then we'll be-" the male begins, but then the lights turn on, courtesy of Twilight's magic.

"SURPRISE!" All of the ponies that were lying in hiding stood up at once, shocking the hell out of the two ponies, who I think I can assume are the Cakes. The yellow stallion sits down out of shock, while the blue mare takes a few steps back.

"Welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Welcome to your Hooray-we-won-an-award party! Were you surprised? I bet you were, because we were when you won!" Pinkie squealed in excitement, running over to the two bakers and bouncing up and down. That pony is way too hyper.

"Yes...I think I can say we definitely weren't expecting this," Mrs. Cake replies uncertainly, though a small smile was spreading across her face..

"Especially in a rainstorm like this...but thanks Pinkie, we appreciate it," Mr. Cake adds as he looks around in awe at the decorations.

"I think we can afford to let off a little steam. Those Canterlot ponies were so stuffy," Mrs. Cake decides her smile widening. Pinkie's grin grew even wider, if that was possible. I don't know how her lips don't split from smiling so much. Smiling a lot tends to hurt.

"That's great, because I went all out for this one! Vinyl, hit it!" Pinkie declares, throwing her hooves in the air. The Cakes appear to recognize that name, as they gasp a bit.

"You got it Pinks! Let's get this party started!" Vinyl shouts, and then she sets a record on her table. An upbeat party song blasts out of her speakers, and the LED lights that the two of us had so painstakingly set up flare to life. The center of the room, which is the designated dance floor, lights up with bright colors that rotated around as Vinyl's magic did its work.

"Yeah, now this is a party! Let's go dance, Seth!" Lyra yells over the music, her eyes alight with joy. I open my mouth to protest vehemently, but the music drowns me out, and Lyra has clamped her front hooves around my arm, dragging me out to the dance floor. I make sure to leave my rifle behind by the counter.

Damn it, I don't mind dancing, but I don't like the idea of dancing with anyone other than Amaryllis. Eh, fuck it. I'm only dancing with her if I acknowledge the fact that she exists. Besides, this isn't a slow song, so no touching is involved. Now that I think of it, how does a pony slow dance anyway? I'm not sure I want to know.

This song is good enough, so I instinctively move my body to the beat. I'd like to say I have a pretty good rhythm, as I would always listen to music between classes back at college. That makes me miss my headphones. I hate that I left them in the school with my bag.

My dancing inevitably draws the attention of the ponies that either don't know me, or do and thought I was too stiff to dance.

Twilight blinks, tilting her head to one side. She seems completely nonplussed by my seemingly uncharacteristic actions. Of course, if she knew me well enough, she'd know it's in character. I don't give a fuck what others think, hence why I dance. It's fun. That's all that matters.

Rainbow Dash, noticing me for the first time, scowls at first, but when she notices what I'm doing, she points a hoof at me and laughs so hard she falls over.

Applejack is nodding her head to the beat as well, not really paying that much attention to me, which I appreciate.

As for Pinkie...she screams happily and streaks over to us in a flash of pink and joins Lyra and I on the dance floor, and she starts pulling some of the most ridiculous, and yet somehow impressive dance moves I've ever seen. Have you ever seen a pony breakdance? Well, I have. And it looks fucking hilarious, yet awesome.

You know...maybe I can put aside the fact that there are ponies everywhere, and just have some fun.

Pinkie's eagerness entices some of the shyer ponies to join us out here. Flitter, having finished her cookies, trots out to meet us. She taps me on the leg with a hoof, so I turn to her. She's gazing at me with these pleading eyes. Apparently she wants some attention. I'm not actually dancing with anyone, I'm just doing my own thing. Whether or not they want to think I'm dancing with them is another matter.

I shrug and take a step closer to Flitter, who makes a barely noticeable squee and starts dancing as well. Heh, it's ridiculous how happy they get if I act even a little bit nice.

Behind me, Lyra huffs, annoyed that her supposed dance partner was stolen away. She's placated, however, when Bon Bon comes and joins her out on the dance floor.

Soon, the song ends, and I take a break, stepping away to go get something to eat. You know, of all the jobs I could have picked, this was a good choice. I am practically getting paid to party.

"I see you're fitting in a little better," Twilight comments, beaming, as I approach the counter she's resting against. I scoff at that. She's over-analyzing my dancing as something more than was it is. Ignoring her at first, I grab some cookies from a plate on the counter and greedily stuff one in my mouth. Oh my god...fucking homemade cookies are the best thing ever. That store bought shit ain't got nothing on this!

"Not really. I just like to dance. Whether or not they want to dance near me is their business," I deny in between mouthfuls of sweet chocolaty goodness. Twilight's face falls at that. Hah, did you think your friendship spheal was going to change me so easily? Yeah, nope. I have twenty years of previous experience to know that 99% of humanity is trash and not worth knowing, and so far nothing has convinced me that ponies aren't the same way.

"I think you should give us ponies a chance. We may surprise you," Twilight suggests, gazing at me meaningfully.

"Yeah, and you might not," I retort, eating another cookie. "Goddamn, these are good."

"Hey! I thought you didn't want our company?" That voice...I groan inwardly. I knew this was coming ever since I saw her walk through the door. I look to see a suspicious Rainbow Dash cantering towards me. "What gives?"

"I'm getting paid to be here, so fuck off," I snap at her, much to Twilight's horror and Rainbow's ire.

"Why would anypony hire a jerk like you?" Rainbow demands. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"You know, you've used that same word over and over. Update your insults and try again later," I tell her in a bored voice, eating another cookie. Rainbow turns red with anger and opens her mouth to shout at me, but Twilight cuts her off.

"Hang on, you two know each other?" she asks us curiously.

"Yep. This rainbow-tailed fucker almost killed me, and then wouldn't get lost," I answer before Rainbow could. Twilight looked accusingly at Rainbow, who looks like she'd been slapped.

"Twilight, don't give me that look! I don't know what he told you, but he made it pretty clear he's not anypony's friend!" she protests angrily, jabbing a hoof at me. Twilight sighs, gives me an apologetic look, and then wraps a hoof around Rainbow's shoulders, leading her off somewhere.

Finally, some peace. A thought occurs to me. Maybe I shouldn't eat so many cookies. I wouldn't want to get full too fast. I want to have some of that monster cake Pinkie made, too. I wonder when they'll be cutting it. Oh look, blueberry muffins! Mine mine mine mine...

Just as I'm reaching out a hand to grab a muffin, a light grey hoof reaches in and grabs the entire plate. My hand hangs there limply, my anger rising. I turn, about to give the thieving pony a piece of my mind when her appearance gives me some pause.

The pony, whose wings identified it as a pegasus, is colored that same light grey, and she has a short blonde mane and tail. Her butt tattoo is a bunch of bubbles, whatever the fuck that means. But that's not the most striking feature. No, that would be those fucking eyes of hers. They're all over the place. I'm not kidding. I don't know if she's permanently cross-eyed or has two lazy eyes, or what, but all I know is that her eyes are looking everywhere but at me.

There's already a muffin in her mouth, which she is chomping on merrily. When she notices me looking at her with an irritated look on my face, she swallows the muffin and gives me a sheepish grin, crumbs stuck to her muzzle. "I'm sorry, mister. You can have a muffin too," she says apologetically in an odd, yet strangely adorable voice. She holds out the plate to me.

I find the angry words I had been prepared to throw at her dying in my throat. Instead, I adopt a wry expression and take a muffin from the plate. "Glad I have your permission," I remark, and then I take a bite of the muffin...and the taste fucking blows me away. I'm so used to the mostly bland store bought stuff, so the sheer quality makes me wonder what I've been missing all my life.

"You look nice, mister. What's your name?" the pegasus asks, sniffing at me curiously. That...what the hell does she mean by "you look nice?" Does that mean I look like a nice person? Or that I literally look nice, like physically? Because she'd be wrong on both accounts. Eh, I might as well humor the mare.

"Seth Rogers," I answer the strange pony, not exactly sure how to treat her. She looks as old as the others, but I have no way of knowing how old that is. The pony tilts her head to one side, her eyes rolling around in a disorienting fashion. How the hell does she function like that?

"It's sure nice to meetcha, Mr. Rogers. I'm Derpy Hooves," the pegasus responds, and then proceeds to munch on more muffins from the plate. I gaze back at her in disbelief. Her name is Derpy? What kind of name is that? Were her parents trying to insult her? I search my mind, wondering how the hell to react to this pony. Fuck it, I'll just make an excuse and go elsewhere.

Before I can, a streak of cyan zips between Derpy and I, causing me to stumble backwards. Rainbow is standing between us, looking at Derpy with a smile.

"Derpy, why don't you go share some of those muffins with your daughter?" Rainbow addressed the grey pegasus gently. Derpy turns her head in Rainbow's general direction, and then she nods enthusiastically.

"Oh yes, I'll do that. Little Dinky would love these!" Derpy exclaimed, and then she trotted around the edge of the room with the plateful of muffins. "See you later, Mr. Rogers!"

The moment she's gone, Rainbow turns and glares at me, her previously kind expression disappearing, to be replaced by suspicion. "You better not have said anything mean to her, or I'd never forgive you," she warns me. I can't help but laugh at how lame that threat sounded.

"Oh no, the multicolored pony will never forgive me. How can I possibly live with myself now?" I respond, the sarcasm practically dripping from every word. Rainbow looks infuriated by that.

"You did! You totally said something nasty to her, didn't you! I thought you were a jerk, but this is on a whole new level!" Whoa, Rainbow is a lot angrier than I expected. She gets right in my face, snarling at me. "If this wasn't a Pinkie Party, I'd beat the crap out of you!"

"Whoa, calm your shit. I hardly talked to her," I retract quickly, taking a step back. I don't know what it is about Derpy that makes Rainbow so fired up to protect her, but this pegasus looks like she's fully capable of carrying out her threat. I didn't notice before, but there are some strong muscles on her. She may not be an earth pony, but those muscles are intimidating as hell.

"How do you expect me to believe that? You totally seem like the kind of guy that would pick on her!" Rainbow snapped.

"No! I may be a bitter cynical ass, but I'm no bully," I object, holding up my hands in an attempt to placate her. I can't fucking believe I'm having to do this. This is why I avoid parties...there's always something I do to fuck it up, and then I end up in a corner somewhere, wondering why nobody cares that I exist.

Rainbow eyes me, probably wondering whether or not she can trust my word. I hope she decides she can. Even the weakest horse can seriously hurt a human with a well placed buck.

"What's up with her anyway?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject. Rainbow blinks, and then she finally takes a step back. I release that breath that I'd been subconsciously holding. I'm used to being an asshole, but I've never been nasty enough to warrant a violent reaction out of someone.

"What, Derpy? She's...well, she's a really sweet girl, but with her eyes all like..." Rainbow paused a moment to make an odd gesture with her hooves. I nodded in understanding. "...she has trouble getting around. Some ponies give her a hard time because of that."

"That's terrible...seems I was right in assuming that you ponies aren't that different from my useless species," I reply, getting a little angry at the nameless ponies that would make fun of someone with a disability. Rainbow cocks her head to one side, my wording confusing her.

"'Useless species?' What exactly did you go through that makes you think so poorly of your own species?" she questions me. I shoot her a look. Seriously? Did she really just pop off a soul searching question at me?

"Like I'm going to answer a question like that," I scoff derisively. Rainbow adopts a frustrated expression, stomping her hoof on the floor.

"Aw, come on! I'm trying to be nice here," she complains, clearly unused to acting in such a way.

"Exactly my point. You're being nice because you want something out of me. Just like Twilight is being nice because she wants to know more about my kind. It's as transparent as it is old," I counter. Rainbow looks taken aback by my logic, and then she puts on a sad expression, similar to the one Applejack wore when I told her to back off.

"So...you should come dance," Rainbow suggests suddenly, grinning a bit. I glance at her askance, wondering where in the hell that came from.

"No," I tell her flatly, grabbing a cupcake from the table and biting into it. Rainbow doesn't seem to be dissuaded.

"Why, too scared of being shown up on the dance floor by yours truly?" she teases me confidently.

I almost drop the cupcake.

"You...I..." I stammer. Rainbow's grin grows.

"Or wait, are you worried about what all of these ponies think?" she presses, leaning in smugly. She's...did...fuck it. Just fuck it.

"You know, just for THAT, I'll show you how to really dance!" I declared, a huge sense of deja vu striking me. This has to be one hell of a coincidence...practically word for word.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Show me your moves!" Rainbow exclaimed, and the two of us made our way out onto the dance floor. Pinkie is still there, having seemingly infinite energy, and now Twilight is here, though her dancing is so bad, I can't look at her and keep a straight face. Rainbow feels similarly, as she's stifling her laughter behind a hoof.

Just as I step onto the dance floor, Vinyl changes the song, and the tune becomes...oh my god, is that rock? Oh fuck the hell yes. My head is banging.

Pinkie notices Rainbow and I dancing near one another, so she soon comes to join us, followed by Flitter, Lyra, Bon Bon, and a few other ponies I don't recognize. The Cakes are also out on the dance floor, enjoying the party.

For the next three minutes, life is a happy blur. For just one moment, I can forget that I'm dancing with ponies. All of that stress I've accumulated over the days is just fucking gone, washed away by a torrent of music.

"Applejack's in the house, yeeeeehaaaw!" Suddenly, Applejack is there, pushing her way into the group. "Whatsa matter, Rainbow Dash? Yer dancin' like a wet noodle out here."

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you do better, Applejack!" Rainbow rises to the challenge eagerly, and the two of them face one another, attempting to outdance the other, whatever that means. Of course, it isn't long before I crash the party.

"You know what? You both suck. Stand back and let the master show you how it's done!" I challenge them both. The both of them look at me in surprise, but then they grin and the three of us start having a...a what? A dance-off? A competition? A see-who-can-fuck-around-the-most battle? Whatever. All I know is that I don't hold any illusions of being a better dancer. I'm honestly just fucking around.

By the end of the song, I'm a bit tired, because I had danced a bit enthusiastically. I extricate myself from the dance floor and move over to the punch bowl, as I'm feeling a bit thirsty. That's a lie. A lot thirsty, since I haven't really had real water other than Twilight's tea, and that doesn't really count.

There's several ponies by the punch bowl, but one really stands out to me. That's because she's wearing a fucking over the top dress. Like, something you'd see at a semi-formal dance. Hell, her entire appearance has been groomed and styled to perfection. Her mane is a bright purple that shined in the dim light, and fell down before terminating in elegant curls. She's got pure white fur, and I can see a horn that tells me she's a magic wielding unicorn.

The moment she spots me, she lets out a little gasp. I roll my eyes, expecting another frantic babble about how I'm a human and how I'm supposed to be extinct. "Oh, what are you wearing, dear?" she questioned me in a very prim and proper tone, with a hint of distaste present.

"I'm sorry, what?" I deadpan. Did...she really just...what...ugh, great.

"I had imagined that a wondrous being from the distant past would be dressed elegantly, but those? They look like they haven't been washed in days!" the unicorn expresses. I sigh deeply.

"That's because they haven't...this is the only set of clothes I own. I couldn't exactly bring a fucking dresser with me when I came here!" I snap at her. The mare recoils, looking horrified, partially at my foul language.

"That sounds horrible! You simply must stop by my boutique later so that we can rectify this situation," she beseeches me. I rub my forehead with my fingers. She looks like her clothing would be extremely expensive. Yeah, I can't afford that kind of stuff.

"I don't even know who you are," I remind her.

"Oh! Pardon my manners, darling. I am Rarity, and I run the Carousel Boutique, on the hill just southwest of the town square." the unicorn introduces herself with a flourish and a bow, causing me to raise an eyebrow. Was that really necessary?

"That's great. Maybe I'll show up," I answer, without caring. Yeah, there's no fucking way. I'll buy clothes from someone less likely to bleed me dry. Rarity smiles, satisfied by my answer.

Now that I have a moment's peace, I grab a cup and turn to dip it into the punch bowl...only to find Berry Punch drinking out of it. My hand, still holding to cup, drops to my side. I gaze at the offending pony incredulously.

The moment Berry Punch notices I'm watching, she yelps and falls on the ground, and then she scampers away into the crowd.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I grunt. There went any chance of me getting any punch.

"Language, darling," Rarity warns me, earning an incredulous glance from me. Who the fuck do you think you are?

"Screw you," I retort, before stalking away to find some other place to get a drink, leaving Rarity behind.

"How rude," I hear Rarity huff, but I don't really care. She's not my mother, and even if she was, my mother was as bad as I am, so she didn't give even a hint of a fuck.

"Hi! How are you enjoying the party?" Pinkie is suddenly in my face, having appeared from seemingly nowhere. I recoil back with a yelp, nearly dropping the cup.

"Ah! Where the hell did you come from?!" I cry. I'm pretty sure I had only looked away for half a second, but now, a wild Pinkie has appeared.

"From the dance floor, silly billy!" Pinkie answers as if it were obvious. Oh my god...I lose neurons just talking to this pony.

"No I meant...ugh, whatever. It's a good party, I'll give you that much," I admit. Pinkie brightens up even more, if that's even possible. "There a place to get water in here?"

"Yepper depper! I know a spot in the back! Don't go anywhere!" Pinkie grabs my hand, snatches the cup, and then bounces away towards the back room before I even know what's going on. Just...what?

My eyes rove over the giant cake Pinkie had made. To my delight, I notice that it had already been cut into slices, and some of them were already missing. That means I can get some. I take a step forward.

"Don't go anywhere!" Pinkie calls from the back room, and I freeze. How the hell did she know I was moving?

Sulking, I stand still and watch other ponies taking slices of cake away. There's still plenty, but I really want some.

Pinkie returns soon with the cup she took from me filled to the brim with water. I take it from her gratefully, and then I drain it in a few seconds. As if expecting that, Pinkie takes the glass back and the produces another from nowhere, which I then drain as well.

"Thanks," I tell her, and then I start moving away. "I'm going to go and get some of that cake now."

"Oki doki loki!" Pinkie responds, and she bounces back to the dance floor. That pony defies all explanation.

I cackle a bit to myself as I reach the cake. There are several plates ready for the taking, so I reach in and snatch one. "Yoink!" I say aloud, though nobody can really hear it but me.

Right, there's no forks. Fuck it, I guess my hands are getting covered in frosting. I grab the slice of cake and eat it in a few bites. It's just as amazing as I was expecting. It's so good, I even lick the frosting off my hands. Wow, that Pinkie is an incredible baker.

"Hey, Seth!" Twilight is approaching me with a smile. When I turn my attention to her, she gestures back at the dance floor. "Want to come back out?"

Ugh...fuck it.

---

The party goes on for a long time, though I don't know specifics because I don't have a damn watch. All I know is that by the time the storm blows over, ponies are starting to trickle out. Flitter comes and finds me before she leaves, thanking me for the dance and hoping to see me tomorrow. Lyra does something similar, but Bon Bon isn't as friendly. The bitch.

Rarity leaves once she was certain it wasn't raining anymore. Another pegasus, colored a buttery yellow with a pink mane, accompanies her.

As for me, the moment the music stops, I can see a tired and sweaty Vinyl waving me over from the raised area. "Clean up time, bro!" she declares. I nod and join her up top. I still don't know her equipment well enough to know where everything goes, so I let her direct me.

The easiest thing she has me do is folding up the cables and placing them in the boxes she indicates. I do my best to memorize the labels on the boxes for future reference, but it's difficult. It is an entirely new language, after all.

While I'm working, Pinkie is zipping around the place like a hornet, cleaning up all of the decorations so that the shop can resume normal operations in the morning. Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack are chatting on the dance floor, occasionally moving aside if Vinyl or I need to grab some of the lights.

The Cakes never did talk to me, as they instead headed straight up to bed once the party had ended. I'm fine with that. I could care less that this was their party. I just know that it was A party, and it was a really fun one.

Lastly, Vinyl and I hoist all of her equipment back into the cart, which Pinkie had stored in the back room to make space.

"Awright, that's everything! You ready to go, Seth?" Vinyl asks me. I nodded, panting. It probably hadn't been such a good idea to eat so much, and then try to heavy lift.

"Hey Scratchie! You don't want to leave without your payment, do you?" Pinkie streaks, once again, out of nowhere with a large sack in her mouth.

"Yeah, I was just about to ask for it. Awesome!" Vinyl says, taking the sack. She opens it up and fishes through it, as if counting it. Isn't that bad etiquette to count the money in front of the one who paid you? Oh wait...she's taking some out. "These are yours, Seth. Thanks for the help."

I open my hand and she drops five bits into it. Yes, I have eight bits now. I wonder if that will get me a room to rent or something. "Yo, Vinyl, how much is a cheap hotel in this town?" I query, hoping for a good number. Vinyl appears to think for a moment.

"Well, I think the cheapest would probably be around ten bits a night," Vinyl tells me. My face falls immediately.

"Fuck! Well, I guess I'm working three jobs tomorrow," I curse, punching the wall. "Tonight's gonna suck."

"What? Dude, didn't you work all day with Applejack?" Vinyl protests.

"Yeah, but I spent some of the money on food, because I hadn't eaten in fucking days," I explain. Vinyl sighs, and goes to fish some more money out of the sack. "Don't you fucking dare."

"What?" Vinyl uttered, surprised by my denial.

"I told you, I don't want your charity. I earned those five bits, so that's all that I'll accept," I asserted with a growl.

"Look, I'm not letting ya sleep outside. You'll get sick, what with all that mud," Vinyl tells me flatly.

"Then I get sick-" I begin, but then the sound of a gasp cuts me off. I turn my head, and then I freeze when I see that Twilight is looking directly at me. It had been her that had gasped. Oh...shit.

"You told me you had a place to stay!" Twilight accused, walking away from her friends and towards Vinyl and I. Well...that cat's out of the bag. I'm busted.

"I...may have lied," I confess slowly, unsure how the librarian would react. She doesn't look happy, that's for sure.

"Why would you lie about something like that? I would have offered you my spare bed!" Twilight demands. Vinyl looks at me as well, and I realize with a sinking feeling that I'm being ganged up on.

"Yeah, what's up with all this refusing kindness stuff, bro?" Vinyl rejoins. Their combined gazes are enough to set me off.

"That's enough, goddammit! It's my business where I sleep, not any of yours!" Suddenly, I have the attention of everyone in the room as my voice rises to a shout.

"Seth, it's just not healthy. We're only trying to help you," Twilight expresses, stepping closer. I step back, but my back is soon in a corner, with Vinyl and Twilight blocking my only escape routes.

"Bullshit! I'm a complete unknown, a total stranger that you met a day ago! You have no reason to help me, unless you take into account the fact that I'm a being from your history. If even one of you writes a book on me, you're famous. I'm not telling you anything, so you might as well stop trying to be nice!" I shoot back, getting in their faces. They're speechless in the wake of my tirade. Yeah, that's right, you bitches. What are you going to do, now that I'll called you out on your shit?

"Bro...that's just messed," Vinyl comments. I really wish I could see her fucking eyes, because I can't read her emotions like this. "I don't know how your kind did things, but we are not like that."

"We're not out to use you, Seth. What happened? What has you so convinced we're trying to use you?" Twilight presses, looking up at me with those soulful eyes of hers. Stop, don't you use your cutesy bullshit on me!

"Like I'm really going to tell you that," I grunt. Twilight and Vinyl sigh impatiently.

"So it seems we're at an impasse," Twilight points out. "We can't seem to prove to you that we're telling the truth, but neither can you prove that we're lying."

"I'm still going to sleep outside," I tell them stubbornly, crossing my arms and looking away.

"Sorry 'bout this, but ah couldn't help but overhear," Applejack joins in, trotting over to us, along with Rainbow Dash. "Ah think ah might have an idea on how ta deal with all this."

"Oh, this oughta be good," I grunt, while Twilight and Vinyl give their attention to Applejack.

"How 'bout this. Why don't one o' y'all rent out yer spare room, for like six bits a naht? That way it ain't charity," Applejack suggests. I blink. I didn't expect something that...sensible to come out of her mouth. It's not a hotel, but at least they wouldn't be trying to give it to me out of charity. There's no way I'd be a freeloader. That's just wrong.

"I'd be down for that," Vinyl says hopefully. Twilight snapped her mouth shut, having been about to offer the same thing. I give a slow nod. "I...can accept that. You better take my fucking payments, though."

"All raht!" Applejack says with a broad smile. "This works out. Ah'll see ya bright an early tomorrow mornin'?"

"Yeah. I can do that."

---

After making sure to grab my rifle, Vinyl and I move the cart out of the building and down the ramp, into the streets. Luckily, the streets aren't that muddy, or moving this cart anywhere would be a pain in the ass.

As we move the cart towards Vinyl's house, the others walk with us, socializing with one another. I don't involve myself in their conversation, as it's mostly just shit I don't care about, like the Wonderbolts' latest stunts, or the yield of the rest of "applebuck season," whatever that is.

Twilight is the first to break off, and she heads back to her library with a wave and a "See you tomorrow, Seth!" I give her a small wave in return.

Rainbow takes off next, spreading her wings and shooting into the air, heading to wherever she lives. Applejack stays with us all the way to Vinyl's house.

"Awright, help me get this into the house," Vinyl orders me as she opens the front door. I nod and push on the other end of the cart, while she guides me in.

Once the cart is inside, Vinyl releases it with a sigh. "Thanks bro. Come on in. It's a mess, I hope you don't mind."

"You've clearly never seen a college dorm," I quip, stepping over the threshold, making sure to duck under the low top.

"Ah'll see ya in the mornin' Seth!" Applejack calls, and after I wave to her, she trots out of sight. Vinyl shuts the door, leaving us in the dim light.

I take a look around. I seem to be in a sitting room, with a few armchairs positioned around a fireplace. Further beyond, I can see a kitchen, which is an absolute mess, but it's still cleaner than my dorm. At least she keeps the sink empty. Lastly, there's a staircase on the far right, where I'm assuming the bedrooms are.

"This is my pad! Hope it's to your liking," Vinyl remarks, sweeping a hoof across the room. Then, she promptly plonks down into an armchair, smiling lazily. To my interest, I see her remove her ever present shades and place them on a nearby end table. Her eyes...oh my god, is that fucking red? No, it's more like a magenta shade, but dark enough to be misconstrued for red. They look odd...but it works for her. I like it.

"So when's your next gig?" I ask curiously, wondering when the next time I'll get paid is.

"Not tomorrow, but definitely the day after," Vinyl answers tiredly. "So tomorrow, I ain't doin' a thing."

"Lucky you. Anyway, where am I sleeping?" I retort, fishing out the required payment.

"Upstairs. The spare room is the last door on the right. Restroom is directly across from it," Vinyl directs me. I nod and move towards the stairs. Just before I do, a sudden thought strikes me.

"Last question. Do you happen to have a blank notebook and a pencil lying around for me to use?"

"Huh? Yeah sure. One moment." Vinyl fishes around in one of the end tables before she pulls out a sizeable book. "I keep a bunch of these around for music notes. I don't know what a pencil is, but there's a quill and inkwell on the desk in your room."

"Thanks. Here's the six bits, as well as one extra for the book," I say, handing her the money. Vinyl's eyes widen, and she looks at me in confusion.

"What? You don't need to pay me for the boo-"

"Take it!" I cut across her flatly. Vinyl, resigned, takes the payment, leaving me the proud owner of a single bit. "Good night."

"Night, bro!" she calls after me as I walk up the stairs. Goddamn, this has been a long day. At least now I can get a decent wash. I think I'll do that before writing anything in this book.

The bathroom is small, but it works. I raise an eyebrow at how similar the bathrooms look to what we use. Just how much of their culture is based off of ours?

I turn on the shower, and then quickly relieve myself before getting undressed and throwing my clothes on the floor.

Dear god, the feeling of the warm water coursing over my tired body is fucking glorious. And now I can actually get clean. Scrubbing at my body does wonders for my mental state, especially as I watch the sweat and grime disappear.

When I'm at last finished, I dry off with a plush white towel, and then I hang it up to dry on the rack. I put on only my boxers, and then I walk across the hall into my new room, carrying the rest of my dirty ass clothes.

It's nothing fancy. There's a bed crammed against one side of the room, a dresser next to it, and a desk on the opposite side of the room, with the quill and inkwell Vinyl mentioned sitting atop of it.

Throwing my clothes on the floor and shutting the door, I sit down at the desk with my new notebook. I know exactly what to use this for.

I dip the quill into the inkwell and start to write on the first page, but since this is the first time I've ever used a quill, I fuck up miserably. So I decide to keep fucking up on that first page until I figure things out, and then I write the first lines of what is to be my new journal.

"I have no idea where to begin. Right now, I'm sitting in a cheap room, penning this in a recently bought notebook in an attempt to keep myself sane. God knows there hasn't been a decent person to talk to since getting here. No, everybody here is fucking crazy..."

---

You know, I hadn't expected the party to last as long as it did, but I think it worked out well enough. Lots of character development and just general hilarity going on.

Also, the first arc of this story, the New World Arc, is now over, and the next one begins! Don't worry, it'll be slice of life for a bit longer, before I slam right into the adventure portion. I still have a few more key events to go through.

Leave a comment and tell me how I did.

Well, I never thought something like this would happen. Honestly, I never thought I'd write in this journal ever again, since I felt like I'd pretty much acclimatized to living in this world called Equestria that still reminds me of something out of a vivid acid trip.

So I was wrong. Eventually I'll learn to stop taking things for granted. I mean, look what happened the first time? I lost the entire human race in the space of a three thousand year long second.

Anyhow, I shouldn't just write about shit you haven't heard about yet. So much happened between my last entry and now, so I might as well start from the beginning, so that I can take another look at it myself. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking.

Let's begin the morning after that damn party, shall we?

---

I wake with a start upon hearing a loud knocking on the door. Wait, what? Where am I? What's going on?

"Get up, bro, time for work!" a female voice shouts. Ugh, I'm so damn groggy...what in the hell did I do last night to make me so tired?

Memory hits me like a tidal wave. Oh...that's fucking right. That was my second night in this crazy ass psychedelic world called Equestria, filled with three different types of brightly colored ponies that preach friendship like it's some kind of religion.

No...it doesn't get any less stupid no matter how many times I say it.

"I'm up," I reply weakly to the voice, who I now recognize as Vinyl Scratch, a decent musician for whom I work. That reminds me...I was a party last night. Oh...shit. Those ponies are going to think I'm more inclined to be friends with them after that night, just because I got a little sugar high and acted hyper. And there's also the fact that I actually accepted Vinyl's offer to stay at her place, but not without rent. So essentially I'm a tenant that can leave whenever I want, and not a freeloader that spends his every moment in debt to his benefactor. That's not going to be me.

Never again.

I force myself out of bed, still feeling tired. I probably shouldn't have stayed up so late writing that fucking journal, but it feels really good to have all this crazy shit on paper. If anything, it'll make for one crazy story if I ever wake up from this nightmare.

Screw bathing. I'm heading to work on a farm, for fuck's sake, so there's no point. I'll just get sweaty and gross anyway. Oh yeah, my clothes are still filthy. I ignore how smelly they are and put them on anyway. My trusty rifle is resting against the desk, which I grab on my way out.

As for the journal...what do I do with this? Ah, fuck it. I'll just stash it in the drawer. If she looks at it, no big deal. There will just be one less pony in the world.

I walk down the stairs, holding the rifle over my shoulder for no particular reason other than it feels right and probably looks cool. I can smell something good cooking in the kitchen, which makes my stomach growl, but I ignore it. I'll eat after work, with the money that I earn myself...if I even have enough. If it's like eight right now, and we work until six, that will earn me ten bits, for a total of eleven. Huh, I like that. If I keep this up, I'll have enough money for the rent, some food, and maybe some spending money for myself.

"Morning, Seth," Vinyl grunts as she walks out of the kitchen. I suppress a chuckle at the state of her. Her mane is messier than usual, and her eyes are half shut. She must not be a morning per...fuck...morning pony. I'm never getting used to that. Anyway, she's also sipping out of a coffee mug, cementing that theory. She sniffs at me as I pass by. "Dude, those clothes stink."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed," I reply sarcastically, leaning against the wall. There's a clock above the fireplace. According to it, it's around seven thirty, meaning I got around five or six hours of sleep last night. No wonder I feel like shit.

"Either grab a new set or ditch them," Vinyl suggests, causing me to give her a surprised and slightly disgusted look. Ditch my clothes? Is she trying to come on to m...wait a minute, ponies don't usually wear clothes, so it must seem pretty odd that I do. When I don't reply, she continues. "Want some breakfast?"

"No. I need to get going," I tell her, pushing myself off of the wall. She watches me walk towards the door with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Bro, you need to eat," she warns me. I sigh and open the door, wincing as the beams of early sunrise shine down on me.

"Back off," I scoff, earning a frown from her. Just before I can leave, she stops me with a hoof, looking at me in concern. I return her look with a glare that clearly says I'm not in the mood for her shit.

"I'm just trying to look out for you. No need to be snippy," Vinyl admonishes me, and then I see her levitate something from behind the couch over to her. It looks like...huh, that must be the guitar strap she mentioned.

"Nobody asked you to," I shoot back, though I do take the strap when she offers it to me. She did order me to take it, after all, as much as I resent her for it.

"Take that to the Carousel Boutique when you get off of work. She'll fix that to your stick," Vinyl tells me with a sad look on her face. I nod and then walk out onto the streets, slamming the door shut.

I really wish I could get a haircut. I usually keep my hair shoulder-length, but that's only because I tend to it, using shampoo and conditioner to keep it that glossy black that I'm so fond of. Now that I don't have access to my usual hygiene materials, it's going to dry out and look like shit. I guess I can try the pony versions of hair care items, but I have no idea what that will do to me. Why am I writing about this? Don't judge me, man, I'm lamenting the loss of my perfect hair.

I have one bit left, so if I take the route through the town square, I should be able to get some breakfast from Carrot Top's stall. I got a good amount last time for only three bits, so I should be able to stave off the worst of my hunger until after work. Man, I miss my college's dining hall. Now that I think about it, that probably made a good defensive position when the Oppressed attacked...and there goes my mood. Dammit, brain, you have one job. ONE. JOB.

Carrot Top sees me coming only a few moments after I enter the square. I notice she still looks somewhat nervous by my appearance, so when I reach her, I take the same approach that I took last time.

"Welcome back to Golden Harvest Vegetables, sir! What can I get you today?" Carrot top greets me, stuttering a bit, but quickly getting over it. Points for not freaking out again, I guess. I make sure to stoop down to her level, smiling.

"Hey, could you tell me how many carrots I can get for just one bit?" I ask her politely, already fishing out the single bit I have left. As she thinks of a response, I gaze at the food she's got on sale, my mouth watering a bit. Her carrots are amazing, I can't help it. I guess there's something to be said for organic food after all. I doubt ponies have come up with pesticides or genetic engineering yet.

"I think I can give you eight carrots, sir," Carrot Top finally answers me, still looking a bit nervous. I try not to scowl. Get the fuck over it already. I'm being nice and everything, you skittish pony.

"Thank you," I say shortly, handing over the bit and taking my food. I take my leave away from her, letting my scowl show as I hear her relieved sigh behind me. Bitch, if I was going to hurt you, I would have done it already. I can't believe these fucking ponies are the apex predators. You don't have anything on us humans.

I eat the carrots as I trek down the path towards Sweet Apple Acres. Nothing really eventful happens, at least not until I look up into the sky.

There's a streak of rainbow soaring through the air, making flips and corkscrews at a speed I can hardly make out. It's very impressive, but that mare's ego is large enough as it is. I think I'll keep my opinions to myself there.

Ignoring her and hoping that she won't notice me, I continue on to the farm. I can see the entrance just ahead, and from the looks of it, my employer is already getting ready for work.

Applejack is standing in front of the house with a cart full of various foodstuffs. I think I can see some apples in barrels, as well as other foods that look like pies wrapped in saran wrap. Big MacIntosh is next to her, strapped into a cart like the one Applejack and I had used to gather apples yesterday. Lastly, I see Apple Bloom sitting down beside them, wearing a set of saddlebags filled with what looks like books.

"Seth! Good ta see ya agin. Ya ready fer work?" Applejack calls, trotting over to me with a grin. I avert my eyes, running a hand through my hair. Still not comfortable with anybody saying that it's good to see me.

"Yeah, whatever. Just give me something to do," I mutter. Work is easy. Work doesn't require me to talk. My flippant response doesn't seem to bother Applejack at all, which makes me wonder what does bother her.

"You got it, partner. Would ya mind takin' Apple Bloom to school for me this morning?" Applejack's request causes me to raise an eyebrow at her. I cross my arms, even as Apple Bloom looks between her sister and me in confusion.

"You've got to be kidding me. I came here to work, not play babysitter," I state flatly, even as Apple Bloom protests.

"Yeah, sis, I ain't no baby! I can git ta school on ma own!" I shoot the filly a glance. At least she's on my side in this.

"Ah understand that, but you kin consider this part o' yer work. Ah gotta deliver these aroun' town, so ah'm busy," Applejack explains, but I'm still not convinced. I don't understand why I can't just do what I did yesterday, with Big MacIntosh doing the bucking instead of her. When I point that out to her, she gives me a sheepish grin. "Well, ya see, ah also know ya won't go meetin' ponies unless yer gettin' paid for it, so ah do have an angle."

"I should have fucking figured. I refuse. I don't need to meet more ponies, and I certainly have no interest in meeting children. I hate kids!" I snap irritably, my spirits sinking. Here I thought I could just do my damn job and not deal with bullshit.

"Uh...there ain't no goats aroun' here," Applejack responds haltingly, causing me to slap my palm into my face and groan.

"I mean foals. Fucking...I'm never going to get used to this. Ponies as the apex race. This is just ridiculous," I keep muttering, hating every second of this life I'm now living. A sinking feeling pervades my mind as Applejack gains a devious expression.

"Well, ya can refuse but if ya do, ya won't get paid for today," she points out. I can feel the blood rushing to my face as my irritation gives way to anger. My hands clench into fists, and it takes every fiber of my willpower not to beat the lights out of this fucking pony.

"You..!" I snarl, but then I force myself to take a deep breath. She's still my boss. She can fire me if I start insulting her. Fuck you, Applejack. This isn't fair. It should be my choice whether or not I meet other ponies. I feel like every single damn pony is trying to force me to make friends, and it's getting on my nerves. I hated practically the entire human race, and these ponies are exactly like them. They just do a better job of hiding it.

"Fine. Don't think I'll forget this," I force out. Applejack's smile grows at my acquiescence, and then she gestures to Apple Bloom, who approaches me timidly. "Let's go."

"Have a good day, sugarcube!" Applejack calls after her sister as we leave the farm. Apple Bloom returns the sentiment, but a little bit more reserved. Seems she's reluctant to be alone with me. Finally, a pony with some fucking sense.

We walk in silence for a good five minutes, crossing the river and moving into the town itself, before something actually happens. "So...Mr. Rogers...are ya-" she begins.

"Shut up and keep walking," I cut across her with an iron hard voice. Apple Bloom falls silent for a moment, looking hurt.

"But how will ya find yer way to the schoolhouse?" she asks me curiously. Oh goddammit...fucking foals and their bullshit.

"Fine. Don't talk about anything else," I relent, but only slightly. It's better if I can alienate most of these ponies early on, or they'll think I'm worth knowing. I never liked it when a human would get too involved in my business, and I certainly don't like it when ponies do the same.

Apple Bloom obediently keeps quiet, unless it's to give me directions on where to go. However, this world seems to have it out for me, so our companionable silence only lasts for a short while before we're interrupted.

"Apple Bloom!" exclaims a young, high pitched voice. I turn my head to see another filly, this one a white unicorn with a curly pink and lavender mane and tail, running towards us from a nearby hill.

"Ignore her. We have places to..." I start, but Apple Bloom is already dashing to meet the other filly halfway. "...be. Goddamn fillies."

"Sweetie Belle! Good mornin'!" Apple Bloom cries back happily, and the two of them nuzzle one another lovingly. That...was a little cute. But the interference is still annoying. Besides, what kind of name is Sweetie Belle anyway?

Speaking of which, Sweetie Belle is looking at me now, looking curious. "Hey Apple Bloom," she says uncertainly. Trotting over to me, Sweetie Belle sniffs around me curiously, gazing up at me. She doesn't seem to notice how I'm glowering at her. "What is this thing?"

"This thing has a name," I snap at her. My voice causes Sweetie Belle to yelp and fall back on her haunches. "It's Seth Rogers. Now can you get lost so I can get this blasted filly to school?"

"Um...well...I'm g-going to school too," Sweetie Belle stammers, shocked by my speaking ability and my vehemence. "My sister is taking me...but she's being slow. Rarity!"

Oh, as if this day couldn't get any worse. Now I have to deal with that prissy stuck up mare from the party. I can already see her, with that perfectly styled mane that pisses me off for no good reason. At least she's not wearing that frilly dress from before.

"In due time, Sweetie Belle. Perfection can't be rushed, you see," Rarity answers with a smile, indicating her mane with a flourish. I can't help but facepalm, chuckling a bit. Ponies styling their hair. If that isn't the dumbest thing I've seen so far, I don't know what is.

Rarity stops when she sees me, her eyes narrowing. She adopts an expression of distaste. "Oh...it's you," she grumbles.

"You don't seem pleased to see me," I comment dryly, not really caring one way or another. The fillies are watching us in confusion, probably not realizing that we know one another.

"Of course not. How could a lady such as I enjoy the sight of such an ill-mannered ruffian?" Rarity huffs in response. That earns a scathing laugh from me. She tilts her head to one side. "Pardon, I seem to be missing the joke."

"The joke is that the miniature white horse thinks it's a lady," I choked out between laughs. This is just too great. Please do another flourish so I can laugh some more. Rarity's affronted look just makes me laugh even harder.

"Hey! Quit picking on my sister! She's the most elegant mare I know!" Sweetie Belle is actually the one that yells at me first, surprisingly enough. I stop laughing, transfixing the filly with a glare.

"Or what? Clearly you ponies don't know a predator when you see one," I say in a dangerously soft voice, and then I smile, revealing my canines. Sweetie Belle gulps and takes a step back, while Rarity steps in front of her protectively. I turn around, ignoring them both and nudging Apple Boom with my foot. "Let's get moving. I have shit to do today that doesn't involve taking fucking fillies to school."

"But...ah wanna be with Sweetie Belle..." Apple Bloom protests weakly, though she does follow me. Good, I don't want to drag her.

"You'll see her at school, and then I don't care what you do," I rebuff her uncaringly, turning down a different street to keep Rarity from following us. Thanks to Apple Bloom, I have a general idea of where I'm supposed to go, so I'm going to take the long route.

"You were so nice back at the house," Apple Bloom whispers, hanging her head as she follows me listlessly. "Did ah maybe...do somethin' wrong?

A twinge of guilt strikes me at how seemingly depressed I've made her. Dammit, this isn't what I wanted. I just wanted her to back off so she didn't think I was her friend. You know, I want her to hate me so she won't bother talking to me, for her own sake. Right now though, I think I screwed up. It looks like she's blaming herself for my being an ass to her. Dammit, having a conscience really sucks sometimes.

"No, Apple Bloom. You didn't do anything. I'm just an asshole, that's all. Don't bother with me," I admit with a sigh. Apple Bloom looks up in surprise and confusion.

"A what now?" she questions curiously. I facepalm. Right, she's still a filly. Well, I already knew I'm a terrible person.

"A guy who's not fun at all to be around," I reiterate with a deadpan expression. Apple Bloom makes a small sound of understanding, but she still doesn't look cheered up. Fuckin'...how do I do this? I would make a terrible parent. Finally, I have an idea, but I don't like it at all. Do children really like this? Because if they don't I'll feel really stupid. "Fuck it, come here."

Apple Bloom squeaks in surprise as I scoop her up in my arms. She doesn't weigh all that much, at least not compared to the rest of the shit I've carried recently. "You will not breathe a word of this to Applejack, you hear me?" I grumble to her as I drape her over me such that her front hooves are resting over my shoulder, and her back legs are hanging down my front. My right arm holds her up, while my left holds the rifle and strap. "Now just cheer up already."

"Whoa...this is really cool! Ah can see so much from here!" Apple Bloom exclaims as we walk through the streets towards the school. She's craning her head around excitedly, trying to see as much as she can.

The things I do to make myself feel better...

Soon, the schoolhouse comes into view. It looks...nothing like a school building I'm used to. Fuck, it looks like something out of the 1960s, being only a one room schoolhouse made of wood and plaster. It's colored bright red and white, and there's a heart motif over the windows, the doors, and on the back of the gently turning weather-vane at the top of the building, above the bell tower. Because a one room schoolhouse needs a fucking bell. Go figure.

There are a lot of fillies running around outside the building, more than likely having gotten there earlier than us. Ugh, I can see Rarity there. I went slow on purpose so she'd have enough time to get here and leave...but it seems I didn't give her enough time.

When Rarity sees me walking towards the school with Apple Bloom over my shoulder, she does a double take. I groan inwardly as I see her trotting up to me. I ignore her at first, instead lifting Apple Bloom off my shoulder and gently placing her on the ground. "We're here, Apple Bloom," I tell her, brushing loose pony fur off of my shoulder.

"Thanks, Mr. Rogers. You ain't so bad!" Apple Bloom expresses happily, and then to my shock, she nuzzles my leg.

"Of course I am. Didn't you hear me say so?" I remind her, but she doesn't seem very convinced.

"Eh, ah don't think ya really mean ta be," Apple Bloom responds, and then she meets Sweetie Belle, the two of them nuzzling one another, though I don't miss the worried look Sweetie sends my way.

"But...I...what?" I can only stammer at Apple Bloom's words. Of course I mean to be an asshole! But...fucking...these ponies don't make any sense.

"Ahem. Mr. Rogers, is it?" Rarity addressed me, gazing at me with an look I can't decipher.

"Call me Seth," I tell her, wondering what she wants now. I slide my free hand into my pocket.

"Yes, well. Seth, were you just carrying that filly?" she asks, causing me to shut my eyes and groan. I should have known this was coming. Why did I do that again?

"So what if I did? What does it matter to you?" I lash out defensively, averting my eyes. This is what I get for doing something nice. This is why I'm never nice.

"Hm. Perhaps there's more to you than I first suspected, darling," Rarity says with an ever so slight hint of surprise on her face. What? No, no, stop! Don't get interested...just back off, I'm an asshole who doesn't warrant your attention!

"Sure whatever. I'm going back to the farm now," I grunt, turning away from Rarity before she can spout more inane remarks.

"Aren't ya gonna come meet Miss Cheerilee?" Apple Bloom asks me in a pleading voice. I look at her, a harsh rebuttal forming on the tip of my tongue, but then I see the look she's giving me. Her lower lip is poking out ever so slightly, and her eyes are all wide and liquid.

"Ugh, fine! I'm so tired of this shit," I relent with bad grace. I curse quietly to myself as a much happier looking Apple Bloom leads me towards the school, Sweetie Belle following once Rarity bids her farewell. Can't believe I'm got suckered into this by some filly acting cute. This is the last time I'm giving in. The moment I get enough money to get a place of my own, I'm locking myself in there and never coming out. Good luck finding me then, you blasted ponies.

"Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle!" Another voice, female and rough, calls to us. Great, they're multiplying. This new filly is orange, and has a scruffy purple mane and tail. That has to be the weirdest color scheme ever. Those two colors just don't look good together, but here's a pony to prove my preconceptions of life completely wrong. Apparently that's par for the course in this fucked up world.

"Mornin' Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom calls to the orange filly, who seems to be another of her friends. The three of them gather together in a small circle and start whispering to one another. Finally, Scootaloo notices that I exist, and her eyes widen. As she opens her mouth to ask her questions, I beat her to it.

"I'm a human, named Seth Rogers. Yes, I talk, and no, I won't be your friend," I answer the unformed questions that I'm sure she's about to ask me. Judging by the shocked look on her face, I think I guessed right.

"Wow...I hadn't even asked anything yet. Are you psychic too?" Despite my questions, Scootaloo still found a way to ask me a question.

"Yes, I'm definitely psychic. I can read every thought running through that tiny little head of yours," I say sarcastically. It seems like she's taking me seriously, though if the way she's stepping away from me is any indication. I give a short sigh. "Of course I'm not fucking psychic. Don't be stupid."

"Oh...heh, I wasn't worried anyway," Scootaloo replies uncertainly. Well, that's a lie if I've ever seen one. Why don't you just hold up a sign that says, "LOOK AT ME, I'M AN OBVIOUS LIAR?" Might make it harder for me to figure you out. "So my name is Scootaloo. You're Seth, right?"

"I did just get through saying that," I point out irritably. Scootaloo gives me an angry stare.

"You know, you sound like Diamond Tiara," she accuses. I blink. What the fuck? Diamond tiara? What the hell does that mean? How can I sound like an inanimate object?

"Hush, Scoots. He's jus' different, is all. He's really a nice human," Apple Bloom intervenes, earning a scoff from me and an incredulous look from Scootaloo.

"Don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about," I tell Scootaloo, who nods in agreement. That's fine. At least this pony is willing enough to hate me. "Now where's this Cheerilee? I want to get back to work."

"Miss Cheerilee? She's just inside. Hurry up and go home already," Scootaloo tells me with a scowl. I actually grin at her words. It's about time somepony did the smart...did I really just write that? These ponies are influencing me. I'm half hoping something will kill me before that happens.

I walk into the school building, where some ponies are already inside and sitting at their desks. I notice that most of them are fillies, though there are a few colts, some of which look fucking ridiculous. All of them look up at my approach, including the fully grown mare standing behind a wooden desk.

"Oh. I heard that there was a human in town, but I didn't really believe it," the mare gasps, gazing at me in awe. She walks out from behind her desk so that I can see her clearly. Her fur is a dark raspberry color, but her mane and tail are two different shades of a light pink. For a butt tattoo, she's got three smiling flowers. Whatever the hell that means. "Would you care to tell me your name, sir?"

"I'm Seth Rogers, but I only want to be called Seth," I answer her, not sure what to make of her. She did treat me with some respect though, and that's enough for me not to automatically hate her.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Seth. My name is Cheerilee, and I am the teacher here. It's an honor for me to meet a real human." Cheerilee approaches me and holds out her hoof to me, clearly wanting to shake. Out of principle, I take her hoof, and unlike Applejack, she gives me one gentle shake and then releases me. "Welcome to Ponyville!"

"Thanks, I guess. I'd rather be back with others of my own kind, but apparently I'm the only one left," I admit, returning my hand back to my pocket. Cheerilee's eyes widen, and then soften as she gazes at me with pity in her eyes. I scoff and turn around. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are cantering in through the door just as I'm leaving. "I did what you wanted, Apple Bloom. I'm leaving now."

"Okay Mr. Rogers. Thanks for taking me to school today," the filly calls after me as I stride out the door, leaving the classroom and a very confused Cheerilee behind. I acknowledge Apple Bloom with a wave of my hand.

Just before I can get out of the premises, I run into two more fillies, who make it very clearly that they want to talk to me by positioning themselves right in front of me.

The first one is colored a light pink with a lavender and white mane and tail. Her eyes are a light blue, and she's wearing a...oh, so this must be Diamond Tiara, considering she's wearing one. The other pony is colored a delicate silver, with her mane and tail being an even lighter shade of gray.. This one...snrk...is wearing light blue glasses over her purple eyes (wtf?) and a necklace of...wow, those are pearls. So are these the resident rich kids?

"Why hello there! I couldn't help but notice you talking to those three blank flanks earlier," Diamond Tiara addresses me, speaking in an educated manner. Her voice is high pitched, but at least it's more tolerable than Pinkie's voice. "Are you, by any chance, friends of theirs?"

"Are you kidding me? Not in the slightest. I have no need for their friendship," I asserted, wondering what these two fillies want with me. I also wonder why they called Apple Bloom and her friends "blank flanks". Were they referring to the fact that neither of them had their butt tattoos yet?

Diamond Tiara beams at me. Apparently what I said was what she wanted to hear. "Excellent! I'm Diamond Tiara. I'm pleased to meet you," she proclaims, doing a weird little curtsy. "You know, Silver Spoon and I have always wanted to see what a real human looked like."

"Uh-huh. So you thought you'd come and stare at me?" I accuse, crossing my arms. "Well, that's tough. I'm not in the mood to be a zoo exhibit."

Diamond Tiara's smile becomes strained at that point, and I can see the disbelief in her eyes. I think I hit the nail on the head in my previous assessment of them. She doesn't seem like she's used to not getting what she wants.

"Are you sure you can't take a minute to talk with me?" she tries again after thinking for a bit.

"Pretty sure, thanks. I'm leaving now," I assert, turning on my heel and walking away. She doesn't give up so easily, however.

"You know, I think you should change your mind. My father is one of the richest ponies in Equestria," Diamond Tiara insists. That gets me to stop. That sounded suspiciously like a threat. I turn my head slightly and glare at her from one eye.

"What a fucking joke. Like I'm really going to submit to threats. I don't have anything to lose, so tell him to knock himself out,' I snap at her, and then without looking to see her reaction, I stalk away, glad to finally be on my way back to work.

Fucking Applejack, making me meet a bunch of ponies that I'll never care about. But of course, if I had refused her, it would have hurt me in the long run. Like, not being able to pay for my rent. Speaking of pain...why is it that I feel a strange sense of dread falling over me?

"My turn my turn MY TURN!" Wait, whose voice is tha...JESUS CHRIST! For a split second, I see a flash of pink cover my entire field of view, and then something rams into my shoulder like a battering ram, knocking me clear off my feet and onto my back. "Aw, you're supposed to hold me up, silly billy!"

"Pinkie...what the hell are you doing?!" I groan while looking up at the sky. I don't even need to look to know who it was on top of me. "Get the fuck off of me!"

I shove Pinkie aside, who squeaks and giggles in surprise as she falls over as well. "Sethie! I saw you carrying Apple Bloom and it looked really fun so I want to try it too, so can I try it please?" Pinkie spouts off, hopping back onto her four hooves and then proceeding to bounce up and down excitedly. I hoist myself to my feet again, my right eye twitching.

"Okay, first off, don't you ever call me 'Sethie' again. Secondly, Apple Bloom is a filly, and is more feasible for me to carry. Thirdly, why, oh god why, would you think I would be willing to do the same to you, of all ponies?!" I rave at her, my voice rising in volume to the point where the other ponies in the streets are starting to look over at us curiously.

"Oh, that's easy! It's because I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world! Come on, it'll be fun!" Pinkie doesn't seem fazed at all by how angry I sound. If anything, she's getting even more hype doff, judging by that huge smile on her face. How many times do I have to shoot them down before they realize I'm not worth the effort?

"No! How many times do I have to tell you fuckers?! You're not my best friend. You're not even my friend," I deny vehemently. Pinkie's smile drops and her ears flatten. I can see her open her mouth to reply, but I'm not done. "I don't consider any of the ponies here my friends, and I doubt I ever will. So the sooner you stop trying, the happier the both of us will feel. Am I clear?"

"Is it because I haven't thrown you a party yet? Because if so I'm really really sorry, and I can right on making one you'll enjoy, and-" Pinkie wails, but again, I don't let her finish. Nothing out of this mare's mouth will ever make sense.

"Would you shut up? No, I don't hate you because you haven't thrown me a party. I don't want a party. No, I hate you because you're wild, uncontrollable, annoying, and lastly, because I hate everyone. You're not special in that regard," I storm. I feel a bit guilty, because I know that this is probably one of my most vicious and personal tirades I've made so far, and it's working. Pinkie's expression is getting more and more distraught every second. Surprisingly enough, her mane and tail seems to have straightened out for some reason, the frizziness just smoothing out and disappearing.

"Why...why do you hate everypony, when we haven't done anything but try to be kind to you?" Pinkie whimpers, and I feel another pang of guilt when I notice tears squeezing out from her eyes and trickling down her cheeks. Holy shit, I drove her to tears. I think I may have gone too far to prove my point. There's no backing out now, though.

"That doesn't matter. What does matter, is that you and all of your little pony friends should just give up. I'm not worth your time and effort. Just pretend I don't exist, and we'll get along just fine," I answer her. Pinkie gazes at me for a few seconds longer in silence, and then she turns the other way and runs off, sniffing loudly.

I turn around back towards my destination, and notice that several ponies are staring at me with expressions of anger, sadness, and disapproval on their faces. "That was wholly unnecessary," one mare growls, actually daring to talk to me.

"Like I care," I scoff, shoving past them and continuing on my way.

I'm lying. I do care. I care a lot. I'm sorry I had to hurt her so much just to get her to give up, but I'm not sorry about what I accomplished. I can't make friends here. I just can't. Pinkie seems like the sort of personality I would have enjoyed associating with a long time ago, before my faith in humanity was crushed. I can't trust her now. And even if I could, I would still hold her at arms length.

I won't lose all of my friends again.

---

I am so sorry, Pinkie. I really wish I could give you special treatment, really I do, but that would be out of character for our "model citizen", Seth.

Anyhow, the next arc begins, and I got to introduce a bunch of characters to Seth that he hadn't met yet, but wasn't able to give them a lot of screen time. Sometimes it really sucks to write an asshole character, because then he never wants to spend time with anypony, so they don't get much development.

I wish I could draw. I would totally draw Seth, and then a picture of Seth carrying Apple Bloom over his shoulder. I enjoyed writing that scene so much :3

Once again, I'm reminded of how much I hate hard work. Right now, they have me repairing a small storage shed that got damaged in the storm last night, while we had all been partying. Applejack is still gone on her delivery, so Big MacIntosh and I are the only ones here, along with that older pony who I think is still inside. As such, I consider the giant red pony to be my new boss until Applejack returns.

He's very quiet, responding mostly in short sentences that are maybe five or six words at the most. That makes it very easy for me to work, since now I don't have Applejack trying to talk to me every few minutes. Big MacIntosh actually trusts me to get the job done, as he rarely sticks around for more than a minute before he moves on to complete other chores around the farm.

I regard the shed in front of me. There's a jagged hole on the top of it that is slightly singed, likely because of lightning. I don't think these ponies know what lightning rods are, because I have yet to see one. Though...that makes me wonder how this village hasn't burnt down yet. I swear, if it's something as stupid as a "lightning repelling spell" or something, I'm going to groan.

To fix this, I'm probably going to have to remove the singed boards from the top of the shed, because burnt wood is much weaker than usual, and that's never good for a storage shed. Winter is coming, so we need the food supplies to be nice and protected from the elements.

I pick up the hammer from the ground next to me and use the curved portion to pry the broken boards off of the shed. Thankfully I don't have to do any of the wood carving and shaving myself, as Big MacIntosh had provided me with a lumber pile with boards and planks of various sizes. I think there's some replacement boards in there that I can use.

After a short period of me comparing board sizes to the holes I need to fill, I start to get the real repairs done. I have some experience with nail and hammer work, because I was a freak for posters in my dorm back in college, so it's not that hard to get the boards nailed in properly without hurting myself.

All right, the shed is repaired. Now all I need is to paint the boards to look like the rest of the shed. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Big MacIntosh passing behind me, so I turn my head and get his attention. "Hey, do you know where I can get some paint for this?"

"In the barn, on the shelves," is his terse answer, and then he moves on to his next chore, whatever that is. You know, I really like working under this guy.

A quick trip to the barn later, and I return to the shed with two buckets of paint: one red and one white. This part is easy. Reading about this is about as boring as watching paint dry...no pun intended.

When I finish, the shed looks as good as new, and I can return the paint buckets to their shelves. If I thought my clothes were bad before, they're now even worse. My jeans have paint spatters all over them. My mother would have freaked. I really need a new set of clothes. Maybe I'll use the four bits I'll have left over from today's pay to get some, if I can find them cheap enough...wait, what am I talking about? I live with ponies. They're not going to have clothes for humans.

After finding Big MacIntosh again, he gives me some more work to do. This time, he has me doing more menial chores, like sweeping the barn clean, and washing the exterior walls. It's a pain in the ass, but I am getting paid for all of this work.

You know, what with all the activity, I've lost track of the days. I think it was Wednesday when I was transported to the future, but I have no idea what day it is now. Are the ponies like us, where they have their school five days a week, and then two days off for weekends? Because if so, today should be Monday, because Apple Bloom hadn't been at school yesterday.

Then I get the worst job in the world right after that: pulling fucking weeds. Ugh, I remember how I used to pitch a fit when I was a kid whenever my mother would make me do that. I think the people in the neighboring suburbs could hear my angry screams. But I wasn't getting paid for it back then, so I can't complain now.

It's long, hard, and backbreaking work, especially for someone like me, who before yesterday had never done a real day's work in his life. By the time I'm finished, Applejack is back with an empty cart, having finished delivering all those foodstuffs or whatever it was she was transporting. I don't really care.

"Howdy there, Seth! Workin' hard?" Applejack greets me, breaking the blissful silence that I had been working in for hours now. I shoot her a baleful glance, and then I stand up and stretch, groaning as my back cracks.

"No, I've been playing chess with Granny Smith, can't you tell by how I'm drowning in sweat?" I remark sarcastically, adjusting my now stringy hair and wiping my forehead off. Applejack chuckles slightly and moves past me.

"Well, you kin rest now, yer done. Come inside fer a moment," Applejack tells me, and I sigh in relief. Life is going to suck if I have to do this every day. Grabbing the rifle and strap from its spot leaning against the barn, I follow her into the barn as she pulls the cart inside and unstraps herself from it. She does a little stretching over her own. Ponies seem a lot more limber in Equestria than the ones I know. I don't think our ponies had ball joints attached to their hooves and legs.

When she's done, she canters into the living area, where Big MacIntosh is dusting behind a few of the paintings, and Granny Smith is actually awake...and she actually takes notice of me.

"So yer the fine new worker Applejack's been tellin' me about!" she exclaims upon seeing me in a really creaky old voice. I don't know what I expected. "Yer an odd lookin' thang. What are ya, anyway?"

"I'm human, and I could say the same thing about you, considering the first time I've seen a pony was about three days ago," I reply in a bored tone. Tiredly, I rest my back against the wall and cross my arms.

"Hyomin? What in tarnation is that?" Granny Smith repeats, horribly mispronouncing my species name.

"They're an advanced species that were lost three thousand years ago." Big MacIntosh is the one who answers, much to my surprise. Not only was that the longest sentence I've ever heard him say, but he also knows what I am.

"Now that, ah didn't know," Applejack chimes in, gazing at me in a new light, while Granny Smith peers at me in interested.

"Ya look mighty good for three thousand," the old pony notes. The misunderstanding earns a smile from Big MacIntosh and a chuckle from Applejack, while I just facepalm.

"I'm not actually three thousand. I'm twenty one. Magic brought me here. That's my story in a nutshell," I explain briefly, realizing only after I finish talking that I hadn't actually told anyone other than Zecora how I got here. They're all regarding me curiously. "Don't ask me for the full story, because I don't feel like telling."

"Ah, that's raht disappointin'. You soun' like ya got quite the tale ta tell there," Applejack remarks with a sigh. "Anyhow, ah'll be raht back. Gotta git yer money."

Applejack leaves the area, trotting upstairs with a purpose, leaving me in the room with Granny Smith and Big MacIntosh. I glance at the latter. "I assume you've read those books I've heard so much about?" I inquire.

"Eeyup," is his telling response.

" Are they any good?"

"Eeyup."

"Huh. I think I need to read them, if only to make fun of how wrong they are," I quip, while Big MacIntosh just nods.

"There are books about hyomins? Why does nopony ever tell me these things?" Granny Smith asks with mild frustration in her voice. Without waiting for a reply, she returns to a rocking chair and sits back in it with a sigh. Let me tell you, it's really odd to see a pony sit.

"Humans, Granny Smith," Big MacIntosh corrects her, pronouncing my species name perfectly. Seems like this pony is smarter than he lets on. I'll have to remember that.

A few moments later, the front door opens, and Apple Bloom rushes in excitedly, clearly happy to be out of school for the day. Behind her are her two friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. "Evenin' everypony! Ah'm home!" Apple Bloom declares, running up to her brother first. The two of them nuzzle one another affectionately, and then the filly does the same with Granny Smith.

When Apple Bloom notices that I'm here as well, she gives me a warm smile, and then she moves over to me and nuzzles me as well, despite the indifferent look I'm giving her. "Hello, Mr. Rogers! How was yer day today?" she asks me while showing me a happy expression.

"I prefer to be called Seth. And to answer you, it could have been worse, I suppose," I answer casually. I don't know what it is about this filly, but I can't bring myself to be cold to her.

"Apple Bloom! Welcome home, sis," Applejack rejoins, having returned from upstairs with a sack of jingling bits on her back. I move closer to her expectantly, but I have to wait as the sisters physically greet one another.

"Hey, Apple Bloom? I need to get back home to Rarity," Sweetie Belle informs her friend with a reluctant expression. I notice how she pointedly avoids my gaze when I turn to look at her.

"Okay! Ah'll see y'all tomorrow then," Apple Bloom acknowledges. She gives Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo a wave of her hoof, which they return before they trot out of sight. "So what's fer dinner, Applejack?"

"Jus' a minute, Apple Bloom. This is fer y'all, Seth." Applejack turns to me, her mouth clamping around the neck of the sack. She levers the money over to my open palm, which then closes around the bag. Pulling the bag back, I immediately move towards the door, ready to get moving. "Hey, would ya like ta stay fer dinner?"

I stop. Did she really just ask me that again? Does she expect me to suddenly change my mind overnight? "No, I wouldn't. If you'll excuse me," I reply coldly, and then I open the door and step outside into the rapidly chilling air.

"Okay," I hear Applejack say just before the door shuts behind me. Out of all the ponies I've met so far, Applejack has to be one of the most confusing. She keeps being friendly, and then doesn't get offended when I rebuff her. I don't know what to think about that.

I'm on my own again. So far, I have several things on my list. Firstly, I need to get some food. Secondly, I want to visit Twilight again, because I really want to ask about the pegasi and their cloud maneuvering, as well as why some ponies don't have butt tattoos. And then there's Sombra, of course. I think she should have had enough time to find something on him by now. Lastly, I need to visit that place Vinyl told me about. What did she call it? The Carousel Boutique? Why does that sound familiar?

Suddenly, it hits me. Rarity said before at the party that she runs a business there. Fuck...this isn't going to be fun. I guess I'd better get that out of the way first. At least Rarity is less trouble than Pinkie to deal with.

I push forward towards town, feeling satisfied with that extra money jingling around in my hand. Peeking into the bag, I notice that I had earned ten bits, just as I'd expected. That'll be enough to pay my rent, and leave me four bits left over for food and commodities. It's not perfect, but I'm starting to make something of a living here in this ridiculous land of ponies.

If I remember right, Rarity said her place was southwest of the town square, on the hill. That means it should be to my left...yep, there's the hill. I assume the Boutique must be that large purple building that looks a lot like a frilly circus tent. Heh, I bet she'd kill me if I mentioned that to her. I'll keep that in mind. Chances are I'll be in an argument with her the moment I get inside.

I don't want to walk all the way across the river and through the square, because that seems like a really long way to walk. Haven't these ponies heard the theory that the shortest route between point A and point B is a straight fucking line?

Apparently they have. After craning my head around, I notice a separate bridge that crosses the river there, though it goes off the path and through a small park that terminates at the bottom of Carousel Hill. Whether it's actually called that or not, I don't give a fuck. That's its name now.

Not long after veering from the path towards the bridge, I catch the faintest hint of music. I stop, wondering if I'm going even more crazy than I already am.

No, I'm not crazy. I definitely hear music. It almost sounds like a harp, but there's some subtle differences in the sound. Holy fuck, that's...that's beautiful. Fuck Rarity, I need to hear some more of this amazing music.

I do my best to follow the sound to its source, walking across the river and into the park, where there's a carved water fountain in the clearing, topped with the statue of a pony that's rearing its forelegs up in the air. There aren't any other ponies here...except for one.

Just in front of the fountain, facing away from me, there's a familiar mint green unicorn standing there. A golden lyre hangs just in front of her, being held aloft by a soft green magical aura. Its strings seemingly strum themselves, releasing a calming and sad melody that has me rooted to the spot, unable to do anything other than stand there, listening.

I close my eyes and let the melody carry me away to a different time, forgotten memories floating to the surface of my consciousness.

I remember when my mother took Adam and I to an amusement park for my birthday, when I was still in middle school. I hadn't wanted to go at all, because I considered those kinds of places to be childish and beneath me. My mother took us anyway, and it was there she forced me onto my first roller coaster, of which I was incredibly afraid. After going down the first hill, I remember being able to let go and enjoy myself, and from then on, I had a blast with my family at that park, trying every ride at least once, and eating sweets until we were stuffed. Then, after the most intense ride in the park, Adam lost his hat, but it didn't matter in the end. We ended up taking a picture together afterward, where Adam and I were smiling and embracing one another, while our mother stood behind us, her proud smile and bright eyes betraying her happiness. I had kept that photo with me forever, and had been in my dorm until the day I disappeared.

I remember the day Amaryllis and I took our first trip together, the both of us having finally acknowledged our friendship after denying it for a month. We had gone to a beach several hours away, but the water had been too cold to stay in for very long. While we were swimming, Amaryllis discovered a small sandy area hidden behind a large rock formation, out of sight of the common populace, as well as the life guards. We had stayed there past closing time, watching the sun set and listening to the waves crash against the shore together. We didn't have to speak; it was enough knowing that for once in our lives, we didn't have to be alone.

I choke a bit, my eyes watering. I can't help myself. The song has brought up so many feelings that I would rather keep hidden, and as such I can't keep the tears from leaking out of my eyes, silently traveling down my cheeks.

I wipe my eyes as the song comes to an end, but it doesn't really do any good. As the last notes fade away into the air, I'm left feeling empty. As much as I try to muffle it, a faint sob escapes me. It's very quiet, but it's enough to catch the attention of Lyra, who whirls around in surprise, placing her lyre on her back. I immediately turn away, but I'm not quick enough to keep her from seeing my tear streaked face for a split second. There's an awkward silence, as neither one of us knows what to say to the other.

"Hey," Lyra says softly, her voice sounding kind. I don't answer at first, as I'm frantically trying to compose myself so I don't look like a complete idiot. I hear her hooves clopping against the ground as she moves closer to me. "Are you all right?"

"Of course I am," I answer quickly, hoping that she will take the hint and drop it. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Heh, no reason, I guess," Lyra replies, trotting to my side, where she gazes up at me. I adjust the position on my head a little, such that my hair covers the side of my face that she can see. Lyra gives me a warm, heartfelt smile, and she places a hoof on my leg in what I guess she thinks is a comforting manner. "Thank you for being such a good listener."

"Whatever...but you're not bad," I compliment her, shifting away from her touch uncomfortably. My praise causes her smile to become a happy grin. "I didn't know you were a musician."

"My cutie mark is a lyre for a reason, silly," Lyra teases me, her grin turning cheeky. I scoff a bit, even though I know she's right.

"I noticed your damn butt tattoo, thank you. Excuse me for not knowing their significance," I snap at her, feeling a little stupid. Somehow, I feel like I said something wrong, as Lyra's cheeks color a bit at my words.

"Trust you to be looking at my butt." Lyra's retort causes me to choke. That's an answer I didn't expect. She's still blushing...oh dear god this pony is fucking flirting with me. Kill me now.

"Fuck you," I grunt, not amused in the least. Lyra takes a step closer, giggling a little, apparently finding my hateful response to be amusing.

"Doesn't that just prove my point?" she counters with a bit of a sultry expression on her face.

"Ugh!" I groan, pushing my way past her roughly, her giggles erupting into full blown laughter. "I'm leaving. I have places to be."

"Okay, I'm sorry! But you shouldn't make it so easy for me." Lyra calls after me, but I don't stop moving. "Seth? I was just kidding, please don't be mad!"

Too late. I'm more than just mad. I'm disgusted. A pony just tried flirting with me. I'm...I'm just fucking done. How the fuck does sexual attraction work in this world anyway? Do they not even care that to them I'm essentially a hairless monkey? Besides, how would it even...UGH! Just...fuck this, and fuck you, Lyra.

I leave a distraught Lyra behind as I climb the hill to the Carousel Boutique, dreading the coming meeting with Rarity. Hopefully I can just get in and out without much trouble. Yeah...if there's one think I've learned about living in this land, it's that the ponies always give me trouble.

When I get up to the building, I find that I'm directly behind it. There's a tree on the left of me, and there are clotheslines stretched between the branches of the tree and the side of the building, damp clothing hanging from them, swaying in the slight breeze. There's a door back here as well, but I doubt Rarity would appreciate it if I barged in through the back door.

I duck underneath the clotheslines and continue around to the front of the building. Goddamn, this place is so frilly and colorful. How the hell do the ponies live near it without all of these colors hurting their eyes? Probably because they're so damn colorful themselves.

I give the front door a few raps with my knuckles, and then I wait, somewhat impatiently. "Comiiing!" I hear Rarity call in a singsong voice from within. Not long afterward, the unicorn opens the door, and her pupils widen almost imperceptibly when she sees me. "Oh...Seth? Is there something I can do for you?"

I'm about to answer when I notice that Lyra had climbed up the hill behind me. Why the fuck was she still chasing me? Hadn't I already made it clear that I didn't want to be anywhere near her? "Yeah, actually," I say quickly, and then much to Rarity's surprise, I zip inside the Boutique and shut the door, locking it behind me.

"What ever is the matter, darling? You look like you've seen a ghost," Rarity observes, seemingly unperturbed that I had just invited myself inside without really asking.

"Yes, if one defines a ghost as a lyre playing unicorn that wants me to fuck her," I answer, peering out through the small window set into the door. Yeah, Lyra's still there, and she's looking around for me. She looks pretty depressed for some reason. Whether or not that's actually what she wants is not my problem. All I know is what I perceived, and it was appalling.

Rarity visibly colors at my words, and she opens her mouth to say something, and then shuts it again. After a moment of thinking, she tries again. "Oh...well...ahem. You're...certainly blunt," she comments, shuffling her hooves. "You'll have to forgive Lyra. She's always been...a little eccentric. Especially when it comes to the ancient past."

"Well, that's great and all, but I won't be some conquest for a crazed history lover," I reply. Rarity nods understandingly.

"Perhaps I'll let Bon Bon know you're having trouble. She should take care of it for you," Rarity suggests. I give her a sideways glance. What could she possibly hope to gain from helping me out? I don't want to find out.

"Don't bother. I can take care of it myself," I respond flatly. Rarity looks like she's going to protest, but I don't let her. "Anyway, that's not why I came here."

"Oh? Perhaps you've finally come so that I may design you a better wardrobe? Your...ahem...current attire appears to be covered in dirt and paint," Rarity guesses, looking at me hopefully. She looks disappointed when I scoff.

"Like I have the money for that. No, I'm hear to get this strap fixed to my rifle, so I can sling it around my back." My explanation doesn't seem to stick with her at all.

"Darling, I wouldn't dream of charging you for such a basic request! No pony...or human in your unique case, should be reduced to wearing such grimy clothing." Rarity has an appalled expression upon her face now, as if shocked that I would want to pay her for her work. Also, did she not even hear my true reasons for being here?

"The answer is no. Now will you take the strap already? I do have other places to be today," I tell her firmly, holding out both the rifle and the guitar strap. With a look of restrained frustration, Rarity's horn glows with a light blue aura and the two items levitate out of my hands.

"No need to be rude, dear. It will only take a bit of an adhesive material, of which I have in plentiful supply," she sniffs, and a drawer opens on the opposite side of the room, from which a small bottle zooms out. "If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me where the ends of the strap would be attached? I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with human technology."

"I'd be afraid if you were," I remark dryly, imaging ponies running around with fully functional assault rifles. "Now, I want the strap to be attached to the rifle at the stock and the muzzle."

Rarity gives me a blank expression. Right, she has no knowledge of the proper terminology. Heaving a sigh, I indicate the areas I had mentioned.

The top of the bottle unscrewed itself, revealing a small brush attached to the underside of the cap. An odd fluid that I can't identify glistens from the bristles. I'm guessing that's some kind of glue. Do ponies even having adhesive?

Rarity dabs a tiny bit of the fluid in the places I specified, and then delicately presses the ends of the strap onto them with her magic. "Done," she announces, hovering the rifle back over to me. I glance at it suspiciously.

"Wait, wouldn't it need to-" I begin, but Rarity releases the rifle from her hold. I grab it by the strap out of reflex. Surprisingly, the strap holds. "What the...what is that stuff? How did it dry so fast?"

"Ah, I forget you have no real knowledge of our accomplishments, either," Rarity confesses, and then she hovers up the bottle so that I can look at the label. It's only a second before I remember that I can't read Equestrian. Thankfully, Rarity explains. "This is called Liquid Rock by its producers. Just a little touch of magic, and it hardens!"

"Seems like everything works on fucking magic," I remark with distaste. It seems so unfair that in my era, humans had to work incredibly hard to get the luxuries we did then, and ponies get them just by finding a unicorn and voila. Extending my arm, I flick a single bit over to Rarity. "Here."

Rarity catches the bit with her magic out of reflex. "Darling, I must insist that you keep your money. It was a simple task-"

"Save it. I wish all of you ponies would just admit that you're only helping me so you can gain something from me later. It's embarrassingly obvious at this point," I interrupt, slinging the rifle over my shoulder. The strap is tight enough that it hardly shifts when I move my arms, but loose enough that it doesn't hurt.

Rarity is quiet for a few seconds, as she stares at me with a frown. She walks a bit closer to me, her eyes meeting mine. "Seth, I'm going to make you a new set of clothes. For free," she asserts. The tone of her voice tells me she's not willing to brook any argument. Fuck that, though. I won't let her do this.

"I told you, I don't want-"

"Darling, please. Hear me out." Rarity forestalls my objections by raising a hoof. I glare at her in silence. There's nothing she can say that will make me change my mind. "I don't know why you're so afraid to let others help you. It seems to me as if you're worried that if you do not pay us to assist you, we'll use our favors as a means to extract services from you in the future."

"Finally, a pony that can fucking take a hint," I grumble. Rarity's not finished, however.

"What if I told you that helping you will help me in an immaterial fashion, rather than something as mundane as money?" she poses.

"I would call bullshit. Especially if you're about to say some shit like, 'your happiness is all the payment I need,'" I scoff, crossing my arms. Rarity shakes her head.

"Well, though that is part of it, I know you won't be satisfied with just that," she quite accurately guesses. I roll my eyes. "So let me explain it to you this way. I've been making clothes for ponies all of my life, as it is quite a passion of mine. But the chance to make clothing for something as fantastic as a human is a challenge that I simply cannot resist."

"Uh-huh, just like-" I start, but I'm cut off again, much to my frustration.

"By helping you, Seth, I help myself. Then we would be officially even. Is that acceptable to you?" Rarity finishes, gazing at me hopefully.

I stare back at her. I really don't want to agree, but all I have is this one set of clothes, and it's just going to get progressively filthier and filthier. If I ever have to meet someone important, like the Ponyville mayor, I can't go talking to them wearing this shit. I'd bring a cloud of flies with me.

She does make a very good point, now that I think about it. She is getting something out of helping me, but it's a sentiment only an artist can feel. Like, say I was good at drawing. Stuck in my hometown, I'm forced to keep drawing the same style of buildings, the same people, the same environment. But if someone were to offer me a trip to the ocean in return for a favor, I'd grant it in a heartbeat. The chance to draw something new would be an incredibly satisfying experience.

Not to mention she's being honest about what she gains from helping me. I suppose...I'll let her give it a shot. I'll kill her if she double-crosses me, though.

"All right. I'll let you make me some clothes," I relent, and Rarity's expression brightens in an instant. A smile stretches across her face.

"Excellent! Now, darling, if you'll come this way, I need to take some measurements." Rarity gestures for me to follow her. Now that I'm not focusing on her, I can get a good look around this extravagant place.

On my left, there's a set of plum colored curtains that were held open by pink lace, revealing several racks of dresses. Further up that same wall, I can see mirrors and vanities whose purposes I can't fathom. The wall terminates at a staircase that spirals upwards and out of sight.

Scattered around the room are mannequins in the shape of ponies, wearing various sets of clothing. I suppose the term "mannequins" doesn't really apply here. I suppose they'd be called ponyquins or something equally stupid.

On my right, there's a raised area, like a stage. It's surrounded by mirrors and partially enclosed by a wall, in which is set a small door. It was to here that Rarity is telling me to go.

"If you'll step right up there for just a moment," she directs me, and I do so uncomfortably, wondering if this really was a good idea after all. I've never had custom clothes created for me before, so I don't know what this process entails.

A tape measure floats to me from the same drawer where the Liquid Rock had been, courtesy of Rarity's magic. "Would you mind removing your shirt for me?" the unicorn requests. I start, but then I realize she probably can't get proper measurements with all this fabric in the way.

I take the rifle off and set it on the stage next to me. Then it's a simple matter to strip off the grimy piece of fabric from my upper body. I callously toss it aside. Its flight is halted prematurely by Rarity's magic. She wrinkles her nose in distaste at it, and then she hangs it over a rack on the wall, far away from the other clothes on the rack.

I notice Rarity taking in the appearance of my upper body with some interest. Most likely scientifically, since there are a lot of differences in our anatomy. She's probably wondering why I have nipples if I'm male. Well, that's a question I'm not going to answer. I hope she's good at seances, because I'll take most of my secrets to the grave.

The tape measure whirls around me like a yellow whirlwind, taking measurements like the circumference of my neck, the widest part of my chest, and my waist. Then she has me bend my arms, so that she can measure the distance from my shoulder to my wrist. "Hm...winter is coming. Perhaps something long sleeved, then?" Rarity thinks aloud. I'm actually a little impressed. She hardly knows anything about humans, and yet here she is, taking measurements of me like a master. That takes skill. "Now then, if you'll remove your pants?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, hoping that I hadn't heard what I thought I just heard.

"I asked if you would remove your pants, darling. I have some measurements to take on your lower body," Rarity repeats patiently.

"Absolutely not," I deny firmly. Rarity looks taken aback by my response.

"Why ever not? Don't you want your pants to fit you?" she inquires. Right...ponies don't wear clothing regularly. She probably has no idea why I'm stopping her.

"It's a human thing. We don't ever remove our lower garments in front of civilized beings, especially when in the presence of the opposite sex," I explain, and then I realize something. Why had I taken the time to explain to her? I pretty much told Zecora to go fuck herself when she asked. So what changed?

"Oh, well then," Rarity responds with a slight blush, having understood my underlying meaning. "I suppose I will simply have to compensate. Remain still, if you please."

I fidget uncomfortably as the end of the tape measure snakes into the hem of my pants and takes the width of my boxers and jeans combined. "Oh, there are two garments layered atop one another," Rarity observes, and then she takes the width of both individually. "There. Now I can proceed."

This is so awkward. I really want to say fuck this and leave, but I really do need new clothes. I suffer in silence as she measures my hips. She then takes the length from my crotch to my heel, as well as the width of my ankles. Then, much to my relief, the tape slides back into the receptacle with a click, and then Rarity places the item back in the drawer.

"Well, that's that!" Rarity proclaims, levitating a sheet of parchment and a quill in front of her, where she starts writing something down, probably the measurements she just took. "I'll get to work on this right away. If you'll come see me first thing in the morning, I should have some outfits ready for you to try on."

"Fine. I'm getting down now," I reply hastily, hopping down from the stage. I grab my shirt from the rack, replacing it on my back. I regret it the moment I do though, because it feels slimy against my skin. I can't help but shudder in revulsion. The rifle is then slung on my back. "I'm going to-"

"Rarity!" a familiar voice calls, and then I hear something galloping down the stairs in the hallway that I can't see. Sweetie Belle emerges, a book in her mouth. She drops the object on the floor in front of Rarity. "I can't seem to figure out this one pro...uh...what's he doing here?"

"Just business, dear," Rarity answers her sister with a guarded smile. I'm not so nice, however.

"I'm leaving now, so quit fucking staring at me before I kick your ass back up those stairs," I snap at the filly, causing her to take a step back, while regarding me with confusion.

"But...I don't have a donkey," Sweetie Belle replies haltingly. I groan in annoyance, and then I throw the door open and step outside, slamming it shut behind me. Fucking ponies and their innocence.

Shit, I forgot about Lyra. I throw myself into a bush the moment I catch sight of the mint green unicorn still looking around for me. Just in time too, because Lyra's head jerks around to stare in my direction, probably having heard the rustling of the bush. For the love of god, do not come over here...fuck, she's coming over here. Come on, Seth, think of something.

My hand grabs a rock from the dirt. Locating the nearest tree, I hurl the rock at it through the bush. The rock collides with the bark, making a dull thunk. Lyra hears the sound and moves to investigate.

Seizing the moment, I break cover and dash towards the hill. From there, it's a simple matter to slide down it. Or at least, it should have been simple, but my foot catches in a small divot, and I fall flat on my face. My momentum causes my legs to flip over my head, and I slide down to the street, covered in grass stains, my rifle jabbing painfully into my back.

I groan and rise. The first thing I notice are the ponies on the street looking at me with bemused expressions. "Don't you fuckers have anything better to do than stare?" I snap at them irritably. In response the ponies return to what they were doing, some mumbling apologies, while others seem indignant at my rude response. They can be angry all they want. I don't give a fuck.

Now, my next order of business is to find Twilight's library. It looks like I'm near the path I traveled to get to the Ponyville Schoolhouse, which is on the same side of the town as her library. If I follow this road forward and take a left at the intersection, it'll lead me back to the park that I crashed in one night.

I follow the route I laid out in my head without much of note, apart from the few curious ponies shooting me glances when they think I'm not looking. I've gotten used to it by now, and some of the other ponies that I've been seeing regularly seem to be getting used to seeing me in town as well.

After crossing the park, it's a simple matter to find my way to Twilight's library, which towers over all of the other buildings. I knock on the door, and to my surprise, it opens immediately.

A very frazzled looking Twilight greets me, and she heaves a deep sigh of relief upon seeing me. "Seth! Thank goodness you're okay!" she tells me frantically, and then she ushers me inside. I walk inside the library, feeling confused. Why wouldn't I be okay?

I meet the gaze of Spike, who is standing just by a bookshelf. He looks to Twilight, and then back to me. The dragon shakes his head in what seems to be exasperation before he walks to the kitchen.

Okay, now I have a slightly bad feeling about this.

---

And the slice of life continues. I never thought this style of writing would ever work for me, as I'm used to writing fight scenes, but SoL has its charms, as odd as it is to admit it.

Major plot point here as well, as Seth finally agrees to let somepony do him a favor.

Leave a comment telling me what you think!

I don't know what I did to make Twilight so worried. I wonder if she's been freaking out like this all day. I'd talk to her about it, but she's currently on a rant that is starting to get annoying.

"I expected you here hours ago! When you didn't show up I got worried that something may have happened to you, like maybe an accident at work, or maybe you got into trouble somehow!" she fusses, walking back and forth restlessly. I adopt a deadpan expression.

"Twilight..."

"What was I supposed to think when you didn't show up right on the time I put in for your visit on my schedule? What if it were my fault? What if I'd said something to offend you and keep you from ever coming back to talk to me?" she continues, but at this point she's talking mostly to herself.

"Twilight."

"I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself if I'd driven you off. I mean, I know I'm not the most social of ponies, but I do really..."

"Goddammit, Twilight! Shut the fuck up!" I yell at her impatiently, startling her into silence. Twilight gulps and looks sheepish. "What the hell is your problem anyway? So what if I had other things to do before coming to you first? That doesn't mean you should freak out like a foal with a crush!"

That line gets an embarrassed blush to form on her face. "I'm sorry, Seth. I just don't know how to handle it when something on my schedule doesn't work out," Twilight admits.

"You don't say," I deadpan. These fucking ponies. I swear, they're all insane. "Anyhow let's get this started. I have a few things I want to know about."

"I suppose that's fair. Do you think you can tell me a bit about humans as well? I'm really curious how your kind lives," Twilight ask, watching for my reaction with a hopeful expression on her face.

"Fuck no. I told you, I'm not telling you ponies anything," I deny her, moving away from the door. Twilight's ears fold back, and she looks disappointed.

"Tea's almost ready!" Spike hollers from the kitchen. Twilight jumps a bit at that, and she looks at the kitchen, visibly surprised.

"But, Spike, I hadn't asked for tea yet," she says, bemused. I hear a chuckle from the kitchen as a response.

"You were going to. You always want tea when a guest shows up," Spike explains, walking back out into the main room.

"I guess you're right," Twilight admits with a sheepish smile. Then she looks back at me. "Come into the kitchen, Seth? I can answer your questions there."

"Fine, whatever," I grunt, following the purple unicorn into the kitchen, which smells of that same tea that I've come to enjoy so much. God, I can't wait, I'm so fucking thirsty. Sweating out half of your body's reserves of water tends to do that to you.

I sit in my usual seat, sighing at the relaxing feeling. If I think about it, this is probably the first time I've sat down all damn day. It feels amazing to be able to relax after a long day like this.

"How did work go today, Seth? You look pretty rough," Twilight observes, resting on her haunches next to the table. I guess she's referring to the state of my clothes. That doesn't stop me from coming up with a way to fuck with her, of course.

Twilight watches me, perplexed, as I reach over to her with my hand. Then she squeaks in protest when I plonk my hand down on her head and start mussing up her mane relentlessly. I stop when her previously immaculately groomed mane is now as untidy as a mop. "And now, so do you," I quip, a triumphant grin on my face.

Spike erupts into hysterics at seeing the state of Twilight's mane. Twilight herself is staring up at the few strands of her mane that are now hanging down over her face. "Seth! That wasn't very nice. I spent thirty minutes tidying that up this morning!" she admonishes me, levitating a mirror and comb to her. She runs the comb through her mane, hoping to fix the damage I caused.

"You seem to be under the impression that I'm a nice person," I remind her. All I get in a response is a frustrated huff as she sorts through the tangles in her mane. God, this sight looks so fucking hilarious. A fucking purple unicorn is acting super butthurt about her mane looking like shit. This image would probably be a meme in less than a day on the internet back home. Sucks I don't have a camera though.

Moments later, Spike brings the finished tea to the table, along with two cups. Since Twilight is busy with her mane, I take the teapot and pour myself a copious amount of the gloriousness that is her tea. Then I set the teapot down. Twilight can pour her own fucking tea. I take a gulp of the tea, and then regret it. Dammit, when will I learn not to gulp down a scalding hot drink?

"So...I'm going to be blunt. Have you found anything on Sombra? Anything at all?" I begin, drinking my tea with more moderation, Twilight almost drops the comb, and then she looks at me sadly. That tells me all I need to know. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Look, Seth, I tried, I really did. I went through every book in my library, even the ones that weren't relevant, and I didn't even see a single mention of this King Sombra," Twilight attempts to placate me, but no matter she says, my mood is taking a nosedive.

"She's not lying, this place was a mess for most of the day," Spike chimes in helpfully. I slam the teacup down on the table with a clatter, frustrated.

"Are you sure he isn't from your time?" Twilight questions. I shake my head vigorously. There's not even a doubt in my mind about this.

"He can't be. Humans don't have magic. He looked like us, but he was definitely from the future. That much I am certain of," I argue. Twilight doesn't look convinced, which makes sense, because she didn't see the video in the school.

"Okay, if you say so. I'll keep trying then. If you're that certain he's from this time, I'm sure I'll find something," Twilight sighs resignedly. I cock an eyebrow at that.

"Didn't you just say you searched every book in this library? How the fuck are you going to do anything?" I point out. Twilight flinches at my coarse language.

"There is something I can do. I can ask Princess Celestia for access to the Starswirl the Bearded wing at the Canterlot Royal Library, but I'd have to head up to the city myself, and that might take a while," Twilight suggests. Okay, I know almost nothing about anything she just said, except that she's planning on asking the fucking royalty for help. Also that it's in a place called Canterlot. I wonder if they have a round table?

"Right. Because the royalty is honestly going to care about the request of one pony," I remark sarcastically. Twilight looks at me in confusion.

"Why wouldn't she? I am her personal student, after all. I send letters to her every week," she explains. I am still for a moment, and then I facepalm at my own forgetfulness.

"Right. Personal protege. I keep forgetting that you're somewhat important." Twilight looks affronted by that, but she doesn't say anything, instead choosing to wait for me to continue. "All right. Do it. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to find that bastard."

"What...what did King Sombra do to you to inspire this much hatred?" Twilight asks me tentatively, as if unsure how I'd react. I give her a deadpan look.

"Maybe I'll consider telling you when I have his head on a pike," I lie. I don't know what I'm going to do when I find Sombra. Perhaps I'll have him work his magic and send me back home. All I know is that I want him dead. Once I tear his internal organs from his body, I'll probably find some way to get myself killed. Killing Sombra is really my only reason for living right now.

Twilight pales at my graphic description, but she does a good job of keeping her voice stable when she addresses Spike. "Spike, could you take a letter for me?" she asks.

"Yeah! Gotta grab paper though. I'll be right back!" Spike answers, running out of the kitchen as fast as his little legs can carry him. Huh. Seems awfully enthusiastic to be a total slave to a purple unicorn. He's back a moment later with a box of stationery, which he plonks down on the table and opens to reveal rolls of parchment, inkwells, and quills. So...you ever feel like you're in trippy modded version of Skyrim? Because I certainly do.

Spike unrolls some parchment on the table, and then he dips the tip of a quill into the inkwell. He looks up at Twilight expectantly.

The unicorn clears her throat, and then begins to dictate. "Dear Princess Celestia. I would like to request access to the Starswirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot Royal library for the weekend, as information that I do not currently possess has been requested of me. In my presence as I write this is a human, which you may recall is the species of sentient beings that precedes us by three thousand years. Seth Rogers is his name, and it is he that is requesting information concerning a certain "King Sombra." Granting my request would be great help in my quest to aid him, and would be greatly appreciated. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

Spike had stopped writing halfway through that, glancing at Twilight with a blank expression. When she notices him, Twilight raises an eyebrow. "Spike? Is something the matter?" she asks curiously.

"You used a lot of big words in there. I don't know how to spell most of them," Spike admits reluctantly, causing me to roll my eyes. What do you know, a dragon that doesn't know how to spell? What are the odds? In my world, fucking zero. In this world, apparently dragons are par for the goddamn course. Go figure.

Following Spike's confession, Twilight has him join us at the table. Then she starts helping him through the spelling of each word that he has trouble with, while I just sit here and twiddle my fucking thumbs. I'm lying. Twiddling thumbs is a dumb way to pass the time. No, I'm doing the smart thing, and drinking my tea. Man, I love this stuff.

"Okay, I think I've got it now. Thanks, Twilight!" Spike exclaims. After waiting a few moments for the ink to dry, the dragon rolls up the parchment and then carefully seals it shut with a weird golden seal. To my shock, he proceeds to incinerate the letter in a gout of green flame. "And sent!"

"What the fuck?! After all that work, you just burned it up?" I demand. Spike glances at me incredulously, as if he can't understand why I have a problem with what he just did.

"Spike, he doesn't understand our methods," Twilight lightly admonishes the dragon. She turns to me next. "Seth, Spike knows a basic spell that allows him to transport small objects directly to Princess Celestia through his magic-based flames."

"Of course. The answer to everything that doesn't make sense in this world. How are letters sent? Magic. Why do ponies get butt tattoos? Magic. How do pegasi move the clouds? Fucking magic!" I mutter, annoyed.

"Well, it's not quite that simple. If you are interested, I can tell you that the link works by magically entangling two mana particles in-" Twilight starts to explain.

"Yeah, how about no? I'm not quite ready for nap time, if you don't mind," I interrupt her rudely, which Spike finds quite amusing. Twilight huffs, annoyed that her explanation was cut off.

"Well, then you can't complain about magic if you don't want to hear how it works," Twilight shoots back at me petulantly, putting on an adorable pout.

"I most certainly can. No one says I have to follow proper logic," I disagree with a bored expression on my face. Twilight looks nonplussed at that.

"But...the logic determines the legitimacy of the complaint! Without logic, you don't have a basis to form a compelling argument!" Twilight has a point, but right now I'm having way too much fun just annoying her. "How can you complain knowing that you're wrong?"

"Because fuck you, that's how," I respond dryly, already done with this conversation. Meanwhile, on the floor, Spike is rolling around, finding this whole situation funny as hell. Twilight is speechless, completely unable to come up with a proper retort as a light blush forms on her face. Apparently these ponies are taking my profanities too seriously. "Now that that's done, how about I actually start asking questions now?"

"Y...yes, right. Ask away," Twilight stammers after she collects herself. Good. Now if I remember correctly, I wanted to ask her something about the school I went to.

"Why do some ponies not have butt tattoos?" I ask, remembering Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.

"I told you, they're called cutie marks," Twilight corrects me, earning a deadpan stare from me.

"I will never call them that, ever," I tell her flatly.

"Why not? It's the proper term!"

"Because it's a fucking stupid name for a tattoo, that's why," I reveal. Twilight gets even more frazzled at my stubbornness.

"Tattoos are completely different from cutie marks, in that the former utilizes needles to inject pigment directly into the skin, while the latter is an important cultural aspect of pony society!" Twilight is getting so frustrated it makes me chuckle.

"I know what they are. I'm just fucking with you," I tell her with a grin. Twilight's blush returns, and then I realize what it is I just said. She probably has no idea what that phrase means.

"N...no...we're having a conversation," Twilight stutters, while I facepalm.

"It's a human phrase...it means I'm joking. You really need to get out more if you take what I say so literally," I explain with a groan. Twilight nods shyly in understanding. "Now then, answer the question."

"Okay. Getting a cutie mark is a coming of age for any young foal, because it signifies that he or she has discovered what they are best at. If a foal doesn't have a cutie mark, it simply means that they are still searching for that talent," Twilight explains, her blush fading as she starts to talk about a more normal subject. God, if someone had told me that a pony could blush a week ago, I'd have probably called him a moron.

"Easy enough to understand. Now, here's the doozy. Why the fuck can pegasi control the weather? I literally saw a group of them push that giant ass thunderhead into town yesterday," I continue. This one I really want to know.

"I'm no pegasus, but my studies tell me that they use the magic intrinsic to them to produce and control weather patterns, and that's how our crops get the sunlight and rain that they need," Twilight discloses. So...magic. I don't know what I expected.

"But why do they need to do that? Three thousand years ago, weather patterns moved on their own, whether we liked it or not," I press. Twilight's eyes light up with interest. Shit...I just told her something about my world, didn't I? Fuck.

"Really? That's fascinating! What kinds of weather patterns were the most common? How much rainfall did you get per year? How did you keep the lightning discharge from harming your species? Why-"

"Shut up, Twilight. I asked a question first," I cut across her petulantly. Twilight flinches, looking like I'd slapped her in the face.

"I'm not quite sure, to be honest. It's been this way even before I was born. I think it might have something to do with the reign of Discord, over a thousand years ago," Twilight hypothesizes, resting her cheek on a hoof.

"Uh...Discord?" I repeat in a questioning manner. For some reason, I have a flashback to Final Fantasy's Chaos, the god of Discord. Now wouldn't that be the plot twist of the century.

"That's right, you don't know our history. The princesses weren't always the ones reigning in Equestria. Over a thousand years ago, an entity named Discord ruled over the world, twisting and perverting the landscape to his whims, and changing the laws of physics to suit himself," Twilight divulges. I blink, regarding her skeptically.

Twilight is astonished when I burst out laughing. Come on, really? A being that can literally move mountains and fuck up nature because he feels like it? That seems like something out of a Xanth book. "Okay, I guess I deserved that one. I'll get you back, though," I chortle, bewildering Twilight even further.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight demands. I give her an incredulous look.

"You're fucking with me, right? I mean, changing physics. Really?" I ask her suspiciously. I don't like that she looks so serious.

"No...I'm not...joking," Twilight says slowly. I am a bit amused that she didn't use my particular phrasing, but then again I feel like it would be weird seeing these ponies curse like I do. "Discord was a very real threat. After the princesses sealed him away in stone, they worked to reverse the damage to the world, but I guess some aspects of the natural order were permanently disrupted...I'll have do some research, but that's my primary theory."

"I...what? That's...I don't get it. How did everything go from making sense to being bat shit crazy?" I demand, resting my head in my hands. Not even a week ago, my preconceptions of reality were completely destroyed by the existence of magic. Now there are deities that can control reality itself? I mean, that kind of shit was what the church would preach back in my era, about some almighty god or whatever, but I never believed them either. "Twilight, I need proof. I can't just accept this."

"I understand. This is probably a lot to take in. If Princess Celestia approves my request, I'll take you with me to Canterlot and show you Discord himself," Twilight responds. My head shoots up with shock and I gaze at her with a panicked look. That fucker is still around? As if she notices my distress, Twilight adds, "Don't worry, he's sealed in stone."

"How comforting. So because this fucked up god ran around making the world FUBAR, pegasi have to work the weather themselves?" I summarize in an attempt to understand everything a bit better.

"FUBAR?" Twilight repeats, not understanding. Ugh...goddamn these ponies not knowing human mannerisms.

"Fucked up beyond all recognition," I clarify, slumping in my seat a little. Oh, that reminds me. I have more tea to drink. I sip some more from the cup while Twilight replies.

"Oh. Well, that's my theory. Whether or not it's true is another matter. Hm, I might actually write a thesis on this. It's been such a long time since I've had a research project to work on, it'll be-" Twilight starts getting really excited about shit I don't care about.

"Yeah, that's great I don't care," I cut her off, raining on her parade yet again. Twilight pouts for the umpteenth time. God, I've met someone who likes to work. This world is still FUBAR. "Now, there's something else that's been-"

Suddenly, Spike lets out a loud belch, and a wave of heat passes over me. I turn to see a stream of emerald flames jetting from his mouth, which then...how do I even describe this...coalesce into a roll of parchment, held shut by a very fancy looking seal in the shape of a blazing sun. "Mail's here," Spike deadpans, tossing the scroll to Twilight, who grabs it eagerly with her magic.

"That was quick. I expected a least a day's wait, even if you are her personal student," I comment, watching Twilight open the scroll. She doesn't answer me, instead clearing her throat and reading the contents of the letter aloud.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle. Your mention of a human presence in Ponyville is a matter of some concern. Our records on their culture are scarce at best, and as such it is our recommendation that you treat this human with the utmost caution," Twilight begins, her voice wavering as she reads.

"I like her already," I remark. Seems like the royalty realizes that I have the potential to be dangerous, even if the other ponies don't think so.

"It is your mention of King Sombra, however, that is most alarming. As his existence is a well guarded secret, it came as a shock to both Luna and I that the human knows of him. As a result, there is no need for you to visit the Canterlot Royal Archives, as Luna and I will be arriving in Ponyville on the morrow to personally address this issue. You can expect us at dawn tomorrow. I apologize for the short notice, but this is a matter of national security. Your loving mentor, Celestia," Twilight finishes, a dumbfounded expression on her face. She drops the scroll, losing the ability to focus on her magic. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are coming heretomorrow?!"

"Oh no..." Spike sighs as Twilight's face becomes frantic.

"I must clean EVERYTHING!" Twilight shrieks in panic, and then she starts dashing around the room in a frenzy, using her magic to replace books, dust off shelves, and other assorted tasks that don't really seem like they're all that important. I glance at Spike.

"Does she do this often?" I whisper to him. Spike gives me a look.

"Too often," is his telling response. Well, that's my cue to get the hell out of dodge. It looks like it's getting dark outside anyway. If I'm waking up at dawn to meet royalty, I need to get some sleep.

"I'll leave her to it then. I'm ducking out," I tell Spike, who nods at me as I move towards the door. I've been around ponies all day, so I can't wait to get back to Vinyl's and spend some time alone, even if all that means is lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

"SETH!" Twilight's scream causes me to pause in the middle of reaching for the door. "The princesses will be here at dawn. Don't be late!"

"Whatever," I reply, and then I leave the library and its crazed inhabitant behind.

Okay, now that I have nothing else to do today I should probably...my own thoughts are interrupted by the uncomfortable pangs of hunger shooting through my stomach. That answers that question. I need to eat first before going back. But where can I go?

I can probably go back to Carrot Top again, but she's probably closed by now. I have no fucking clue where to find any restaurants either. I don't want to go back to Vinyl's and beg food off of her, because she'll bitch and moan about it when I try to pay her for it. There's no way she can talk me into not paying her like Rarity did. She's a musician, so she can't feed me some bullshit about a "culinary challenge."

Or I could...wait. Shit. I'm meeting royalty in the morning. Like, way early in the morning. I don't have the clothes to meet them with. I don't usually give a fuck about fashion, but even I know it's an abysmally bad idea to meet royalty dressed clothes that are torn, grimy, and spattered with paint. I hope Rarity has something ready, because I'm waking up before dawn and waking her ass up. Hopefully she'll have something for me.

Now, back to food. Ah, fuck it, I'm too lazy to ask around for restaurants. It'll be a pain in the ass, but I'll just pay Vinyl to make me something.

My sense of direction has always been somewhat decent, so it's only a matter of time before I finish cross-referencing landmarks in my mind and end up back on the path to Vinyl's place.

Before I can get all the way there, I run into a lone pony in the streets. No, it's not Lyra, thank god. It's no her friend Bon Bon either. No, to my surprise, there's a familiar wall-eyed pegasus mare not far from me, attempting to pull a large package down the street with her.

Huh, it's Derpy. That one mare Rainbow Dash threatened to beat my face in over. I should probably just ignore her. I move to do just that, but then I hear a squeak of pain as Derpy accidentally backs into a mailbox. As she tries to move away, her tail gets caught in the flag of the mailbox, and she wails piteously when she realizes she's stuck.

Idiots will be idiots, I guess. I'll just le...fucking...dammit! I turn around and stride towards the beleaguered mare. You're so damn lucky I have a conscience, as numb as it usually is. The moment Derpy sees me coming, she gives me a pleading look. "Mr. Rogers! Can you help? I'm...stuck."

That...that fucking face. Damn you ponies and your innate cuteness. Especially this one. I don't...whatever, I've committed to this now. I might as well see it through. "Yeah. Be still," I answer, trying to use a few words as possible. I'm helping her, but I don't want her to get attached. Best to be as cold as possible, while not being outright mean. I'm no bully.

Derpy obediently stops struggling as I grab her tail and gently disentangle it from the flag, stopping every time I encounter a knot that would hurt her if I tug on. Finally, I manage to get it free, and Derpy leaps away from the mailbox, a bright smile splayed across her face. "Thank you so much, Mr. Rogers!" she gushes, and then to my utter shock, she rears up on her hind legs and places her front hooves on my chest, all for the purpose of giving me an affectionate lick on my cheek.

She gets down a second later, but I'm frozen. How the fuck does somebody react to being thanked likethat? Rainbow was right, this really is a strange pony. Shaking my head to clear my mind, I decide to change the subject. "Don't mention it. What's in the package, anyway?"

Derpy's face brightens at the question. "My daughter, Dinky, has her birthday the day after tomorrow, so I wanted to get her gift home early. I didn't think it would be so heavy, though," she explains, glaring cutely at the package.

"Okay. Guess I'll leave you to it then," I say, and then I continue on my way. Or, at least I would have, if I hadn't started thinking after I got a few meters away. Rainbow said Derpy was really clumsy, right? There's not that many ponies out, so its entirely likely that she would have been stuck at that mailbox a lot longer If I hadn't been here. So if she gets into trouble again, the same thing might happen.

Not that I care. She's just some pony I barely know...that happens to be impaired. That has treated me with nothing but respect since I met her. And has a voice so adorable it could give a guy diabetes. So why should I go out of my way to help her...fucking...what a damn hassle.

"On second thought," I say, turning back around to see that Derpy had gone back to pulling weakly at the package with her teeth. She looks up hopefully at my voice, and then smiles when she sees me walking back to her. "Get out of the way."

Derpy whinnies a bit as I gently move her away from the package. Looking at it, I reach down and test its weight. Huh, it's not that heavy. I should be able to lift it. I bend my knees and wrap my arms around it, finding a proper grip. Derpy gasps when I unbend my body, lifting the entire package off of the ground. "Wow, Mr. Rogers! You're really strong! But...you don't have to do this for me."

"You're right. I don't. As to why I'm doing it, your guess is as good as mine," I tell her dryly, which only seems to confuse her. "Now, show me where your home is. "

"Okay! You're really nice, Mr. Rogers!" Derpy exclaims, her expression now much brighter than before. Yeah...don't get used to this. I don't even know what it is about you that makes me do all of this shit. Actually, yes I do. It's pity. I feel sorry for you.

"I prefer to be called Seth," I grunt. Together, the two of us move through the streets. To my surprise, we're still heading in the direction of Vinyl's house. Does that mean she lives near...holy shit it does. Derpy lives right across the damn street from Vinyl. I guess that makes us neighbors.

"This is my house." Derpy tells me, opening the door with her mouth. Without answering, I push past her and set the package down in her living room. "Thanks again for the help!"

"Whatever. I'm leaving now," I tell her uncomfortably. I really wish she wouldn't look at me so happily. I did it because I wanted to, not because I wanted to help you.

"Okay. Come by sometime! I owe you a muffin," Derpy offers. I wave my hand, and then I shut the door behind me.

Without bothering to knock, I walk into Vinyl's house and shut the door behind me. There's a shower upstairs that is calling my name. I think I'll head there first.

A snore distracts me just before I walk up the stairs. I peer curiously over the edge of the living room couch to see Vinyl resting on her back, her hooves splayed out in a random fashion. Her mouth is wide open, and her breathing is steady, telling me that she's asleep. That's one of the most undignified sleeping positions I've ever seen. To be fair though, I've never really seen any other positions, because I don't make a habit of watching ponies while they sleep.

I should leave her be. For now at least. When I get back down after my shower, I'll flip over the couch if she isn't awake by then.

Man, I can't even say how much more I appreciate showers now, as opposed to back in college. I remember I would always procrastinate my showers because I had so many other things to take care of. On the weekends, I wouldn't even shower at all unless I was meeting Amaryllis or going back to my mother's house.

Now, as I stand under the hot water, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Yeah...I think I mentioned this before. But what I am doing this time around is taking my grimy clothes into the shower with me, soaking them and scrubbing the dirt and sweat away with my bare hands. Using Vinyl's brush to do so would be kind of a dick move. But this way, if Rarity doesn't have anything ready for me in time, I can wear these again. I don't think the paint stains are going to come out, but it'll be less filthy than before.

Once I'm done cleaning the clothes and myself, I shut off the water and dry myself off. The damp clothes I leave hanging over the edge, except for my boxers. Those I wring out well and put on, as there's no way I'm going downstairs to eat naked. Even boxers is pushing it...hell, I'll wear this towel too.

I stomp down the stairs, and the first thing I notice that Vinyl is not on the couch anymore. Instead, I see a light on in the kitchen, and I think I hear Vinyl humming to herself. Hey, she's not that bad. I wonder if she sings at any of her gigs.

Moving into the kitchen, I see Vinyl throwing together a strange looking salad that is a mish mash of fruits and vegetables. There's also a loaf of sliced bread next to her, as well as a pile of what looked like hay.

The moment I join her in the kitchen, she turns and sees me, regarding me with those magenta eyes of hers. "S'up, dude. Welcome back," Vinyl greets me in that same chill manner that she always does. When she notices that I'm wearing almost nothing, she nods approvingly. "I see you decided to take my suggestion...though why are you wearing my towel?"

"Because I have some dignity left. This towel is my clothing until my other clothes dry," I explain tersely. Vinyl rolls her eyes.

"I'm telling you, just go without. Clothes are a pain in the tail, anyway," she advises me, but I shake my head vehemently.

"The answer is no. You ponies may think it's acceptable to go waltzing around totally naked, but I certainly don't," I snap. "Anyhow, here."

Vinyl blinks as I toss a bit at her. She catches it with her magic, and then looks at me quizzically. "What's this for?"

"I'm hungry. I want a bit of that salad," I tell her bluntly. Vinyl blinks.

"Dude...you know I've give you some for free," she admonishes me. She sighs when I give her a pointed stare that clearly tells her what I think of that. "But, I know how you are. Awright, take a seat and I'll serve you up."

Part of me wants to trust this pony, considering how chill she is about this. If it were Twilight, you can be damn sure she'd be shoving food down my throat. But...there's no way I can. I thought the same about the last person I trusted like that. I'm not talking about Amaryllis.

"How was work?" Vinyl asks conversationally as she spoons some of the salad into a bowl for me.

"I can't really complain. I was left to do my own thing, mostly," I reply, my mouth watering as I watch the bowl hover in front of me. There are spinach leaves in there, which is good, because I haven't had any meat since getting here, and that means I need the iron it has. I see some pineapple, apple slices, and strawberries in there as well as cucumber and carrots. This is going to be heaven.

"Sounds pretty rad. What's your evening look like tomorrow? Got time for a gig?" Vinyl inquires as I gorge myself on the salad. How am I eating it without silverware? With my hands of course. I'm clean, thanks to that shower.

"It it means more money, then I've always got time," I answer matter-of-factly. Vinyl raises an eyebrow, but doesn't comment on it.

"It won't be a Pinkie party, so it won't pay as much. It's in that club we met at," she informs me. Huh. Well, at least I am getting paid. That club was pretty chill, anyway.

"That's fine," I say tersely, returning to my food. The conversation dies after that, because I really didn't give Vinyl much to work with. She joins me at the table with her own bowl, which she just sticks her whole face into, clearly not one for eating in a dignified manner. Then again, neither am I, seeing as I'm eating with my damn hands.

"Can you wake me up a bit before dawn?" I ask suddenly after swallowing a particularly delectable strawberry. Vinyl looks at me in confusion.

"Heck, dude, what for? That's really early," she questions with an appalled expression. I give her a wry look. I guess she's not a morning person. Makes sense, given the whole nightclub thing.

"Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm getting a visit from the princesses in the morning," I say offhandedly, shrugging. Vinyl nods.

"Sounds pretty cool. I'll make sure to do that then," she answers, and then she lifts a cup of water to her lips to drink. Two seconds later she spews an entire mouthful of water all over the table. "WHAT?!"

"Did I stutter?" I retort, enjoying the flabbergasted look on my landlady's face a little more than I should.

"Princess Celestia is coming here? To my house?!" Vinyl shrieks, standing up and placing her front hooves on the table. She looks around frantically at the mess that is her place.

"Nah, she's going to Twilight's. And I think she's bringing another, called Luna," I clarify. Vinyl sits down, releasing a relieved sigh.

"Gah, don't scare me like that, dude. It would be totally uncool for the princesses to see my crib looking so messed," she says, and then pops a strawberry into her mouth. "Still, it's pretty sweet that you get to meet them."

"Good that one of us does. I think it's a pain in the ass. Because I really care to be fawned over by two stuck up royal types," I remark. Vinyl looks troubled at that.

"You really shouldn't talk about them like that. They've done nothing but do right by us," she reprimands me. I shake my head, unconvinced.

"Uh-huh. I'll believe it when I see it. As far as I know, all those upper class freaks hide their corrupt and power hungry nature behind a mask of benevolence," I deadpan. My words earn a pained expression from Vinyl. "If they want my respect, they'll have to earn it."

"Dude, you're so negative," Vinyl comments, and then takes another drink of water, this time not spitting it everywhere.

"Cry me a river," I scoff, not caring in the least what she thinks about me. Ignoring her hurt expression, I finish off the rest of my salad and drain my glass of water. "I'm going to bed now."

"Okay. Good night, Seth," Vinyl calls after me as I rise from the table. I make sure to keep the towel from falling away from my waist. Leaving the six bits for my rent on the table, I stride out of the kitchen and through the living room. From there, it's not long before I'm back in my comfortable room.

Sitting down heavily on the bed, I let out a contented sigh. Alone at last. Now I can lose myself in my own sorrow again.

This world really sucks. It's not a good feeling to know that you're the only one left of your kind in a world that thinks of you as a wondrous being, caring little for you as a person. But then again, that's how people are, and ponies aren't that much different. If this world is anything like mine, then the moment the ponies find out I exist, there will be hordes of reporters. I hope to god that doesn't happen. I'll kill every damn one of them if they make my now shitty life any worse.

So...for the rest of my life, I'll be completely alone. No friends, no family, and no chance of ever starting a family of my own. Not that that thought ever crossed my mind that often before, but I have to admit, once or twice I'd entertained the odd fantasy of settling down with Amaryllis. Too bad she's dead now.

Hopefully the princesses will be able to shed some light on this whole thing about Sombra. They seem to know who he is, and if all goes well, I'll be able to put an end to him with extreme prejudice.

With these thoughts in my head, I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. It feels good to rest after an entire day of being on my feet. For a moment, I start to worry over what the princesses might do upon meeting me. If I were a brightly colored pony and I just happened to show up in my era, I'd have been captured and dissected in a lab somewhere. That hasn't happened here yet, obviously, but who knows what the future holds?

"Fucking...brain, stop your shit. I want to sleep," I growl at myself. "Just because I lay down on the bed isn't an excuse for you to go all philosophical on me. So fuck you, and good night."

Now I'm talking to myself. Thankfully, it seems to have worked. I can quell these troublesome thought rolling around in my mind at last, and sleep starts to overtake me.

Whatever happens tomorrow, happens, and worrying won't change that.

---

Writer's block hit me halfway through this chapter, but I beat it. It's probably because I'm setting up for the princesses to arrive. But I'm not putting down this story because it gets hard to write.

Also, character development for Seth! \o/

I don't think I even got six hours of sleep before I jerked awake, disturbed by some nightly dream I can't remember. I look at the clock on the wall. It's almost six in the morning.

Turning over doesn't help me any. It's impossible to get back to sleep if it happens in the middle of the night, or at least it is for me. Is this even considered the middle of the night? When I think about it, I think this is just the right time for me to be getting up. A bit early, sure, but now I have enough time to get ready.

I hoist myself up off the bed and get to my feet. A wave of dizziness hits me, causing me to screw my eyes shut and hold my head. "Shit, got up too fast," I mumble to myself.

Do I even have time to get to Rarity's? Or the better question is, should I even bother? It seems to me like Rarity will have a bedroom on the upper floors, and won't hear me if I knock on her door. Plus, I don't know the exact time the princesses will show up.

Fuck it, I'm not going. Why should I care if a few stuck up pony princesses disapprove of my clothing? I just do what I always do and blow off their questions, get the information I need, kill Sombra, and hope that I die in the process.

Grabbing my rifle, I open the door to my room and step outside, almost running into a very tired looking Vinyl, who is probably on her way to get me. Well, I managed to stop myself, but she doesn't stop, running muzzle first into my shirtless chest. Vinyl lets out a grunt, and then she looks up at me. A few seconds pass before her sleepy mind registers what she's looking at.

"Oh...you're awake already..." Vinyl murmurs, rubbing her eyes with her hoof.

"Clearly," I say sarcastically, pushing the sleepy pony back a few feet. It's then that I realize I'm only in my boxers. My clothes are still in the bathroom. Shit. "My internal alarm clock is a bitch. Go back to sleep."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Vinyl responds, seemingly not noticing how relatively naked I am at the moment. Unlike me. I'm mortified that I forgot to grab the towel out of my room. Thankfully these boxers are the longer and thicker kind, more like shorts rather than those flimsy pieces of shit that have the holes right over the crotch. So I don't have to worry about my dick hanging out. That would be awkward. Makes me wonder why they making boxers like that in the first place.

I watch Vinyl slowly plod back to her room, and then I proceed to the bathroom post haste, shutting the door behind me. My shitty clothes are still hanging from the shower pole, ripped and torn as always. Upon touching them, I feel that they're all rigid from drying. Well, wearing them is going to be super uncomfortable. Let's just hope this meeting with the princesses goes by quickly, so I can get some new clothes.

Several curses and chafe marks later, I'm dressed again and ready to go. No point in eating either, since it's not my food. I descend the stairs as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb my landlady. Well, technically I should call her a landpony or landmare, but those sound stupid.

I walk out into the street, shivering a bit at the low temperature. Now, I've been to Twilight house enough times to know where it is, so it only takes me a few minutes before I get there.

A few of the lights are on in the tree, so I'm assuming Twilight got up around the same time I did. Good, that means she'll let me in out of the cold. My clothes aren't doing shit in the state they're in now.

I knock on the door, only for the door to open almost a second later. Twilight is there, looking as though she had woken up even earlier than me to freshen herself up. Her mane practically gleams in the light from inside.

Twilight's face lights up with a smile when she sees me. "Oh! You're early. I knew I could count on you. Come on in. The princesses should be here any minute."

I walk past her wordlessly, still tired from having to wake up so early. I immediately sit down on the floor, my back against one of her bookshelves. Twilight giggles when she sees my condition. "I can get you some coffee if you'd like," she offers. I give her an odd look.

"You have both tea and coffee?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. This only serves to confuse Twilight.

"Yes. Why? Do you consider that odd?" she replies, tilting her head. I groan and shake my head.

"That is so wrong," I mutter. Indeed, I know some people that would look down their noses at you for preferring one kind over the other. It seems really stupid now that I think about it. Yet another reason why the human race is fucking useless. "No thanks. I find that caffeine actually makes things worse in the long run."

"Okay. Also, I've been meaning to ask. Have you paid a visit to Rarity yet? She should be willing to make you some new outfits," Twilight changes the subject, while proceeding to pick up a few books on the center table and returning them to their correct spots on the shelves.

"I did yesterday. But she's still working on them, so I'm wearing these shitty clothes," I respond. Now Twilight looks genuinely surprised.

"You did? I'm pleasantly surprised. I'd have thought you'd have refused to let her make anything for you, knowing how you are. What changed your mind?" She questions. Okay, she's the second one to say that. "Knowing how you are." That makes me annoyed.

"Look, don't give me shit about it. I did it for my own reasons that I don't feel inclined to share with you," I snap at her. Twilight's ears fold back, flinching at my tone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I was just curious," she apologizes. Huh, that's interesting. Usually if I snap at someone, their first response is to act defensive, even if they're wrong. Here though, all the ponies seem to just get depressed. I don't understand at all.

"Secondly, you don't 'know how I am.' You've known me for what, three days? That's nowhere near enough time for you to know me," I continue, rising to my feet. Twilight takes a few steps back. "Thirdly, I don't intend for you to know me. So get that idea out of your head right now."

"Look, Seth, please. Calm down. I didn't mean anything by what I said. I was just making conversation," Twilight pleads with me, visibly intimidated by my angry expression. "You're right, I don't know you as well as I'd like, but you're not exactly making it easy for me, either."

"Good. Don't get attached to me. All your friendship will do is hold me back," I grunt. I notice the moment I said that last sentence that Twilight now looks as if I'd slapped her. But it's something that had to be said. I don't want anything holding me back when I go to fight Sombra.

"Seth...what made you like this? Why won't you let anypony get close?" Twilight asks softly, causing me to rub my forehead in exasperation.

"If I didn't tell you the first time you asked, why would I tell you now?" I point out bitterly. Twilight lowers her head.

"Because if you don't tell anypony, we can't help you get better," she answers me timidly. That just makes me angrier.

"'Get better?' You say that like I have a disease that needs curing. Fuck you," I growl, earning an irritated sigh from Twilight.

"That's not what I meant. You should know by now how lonely it gets when-" she begins, but then she cuts off suddenly, lifting her head and looking around. "The princesses are here!"

"Finally," I say, glad to be done with this conversation. Twilight is starting to get on my nerves now. Twilight spares me one last sad look, and then she opens the door of the library, gesturing for me to follow.

Wonderful, we're back out in the cold again. I take a quick look around, noticing nothing out of the ordinary. So where are these princesses? "Are...you sure they're here?" I question skeptically. Twilight nods emphatically.

"I felt them. Chances are, they'll be coming from the air," Twilight explains, pointing a hoof at the skyline opposite the front door of her house. I follow her hoof, and sure enough, something is approaching from over the town. I'm interested to see how the ponies in this era fly. Do they have airplanes? Or it is...fucking Santa Claus style. Are you kidding me?

I'm not joking. There are two chariots approaching, being carried by what seems to be armored pegasi. I can see more and more of their features as they approach.

The chariots are fucking massive, and have varying color schemes. The one that's closest to us is mostly golden, and the pegasi are armored in a similarly golden color scheme, though they have roman-esque helmets, with a blue plume and everything. The other chariot and pegasi I can barely see, because they're colored black and purple, blending into the night so well that I have to really strain my eyes to see them.

As for the ponies riding in the chariots, I can't see them very well at all until the chariots land with a crash, coming to a stop just in front of us. And the first thing I notice is that the ponies in the chariots are fucking gigantic. Like, more like horses, rather than ponies.

The one on the golden chariot is a large white pony with both a long sharp horn on her head, signifying her as a unicorn, and a large span of feathery white wings, making her also a...pegasi? What? Does that make her a...pegacorn? Unisus? Fuckin...whatever. That aside, her mane and tail are four different colors. They're the cool colors, like pale blue, magenta, pale green, and pale violet. And what's even trippier is that they're is waving in a non existent breeze. That's just freakin cool. Mane aside, she's wearing a golden neck brace thing...I don't know what to fucking call it...with a purple gem set in the center of it, and a golden crown with a similar gem on it.

The second one is much darker than the other, being a midnight blue with both a horn and wings as well. I guess that's a trait common to royalty. Her mane is also trippy, yet in my opinion being far more beautiful. It looks like a slice of pure night, waving in a nonexistent breeze like the other. There's even points of light present in her mane that look like stars. Lastly, she's also wearing a crown, only hers is black, and her neck brace has a crescent moon on it.

So I'm guessing the white one is Celestia, and the blue one is Luna. Both of them are looking directly at me. Celestia is giving me a very guarded expression, while Luna just looks downright suspicious.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight cries out happily and runs towardsthe princess, as the regal white pony steps down from the chariot. Celestia greets her student with a warm smile, craning her head down to nuzzle Twilight affectionately. "It's good to see you. And you too, Princess Luna."

"Indeed. It has been far too long, my dearest student," Celestia returns the greeting with a kind voice, causing me to raise an eyebrow. Isn't she being a little too friendly for royalty? At least Luna over there is watching me like a hawk. You know, in case I wanted to kill them. Like a smart ruler should.

Then Celestia turns her gaze onto me, and for a reason I can't understand, I tense up as her magenta eyes stare into my own. There's...I don't know how to explain it, but it's like those eyes are piercing through my damn soul. I can't hold her gaze for more than a few moments before I avert my eyes. I think I understand what Twilight meant by "feeling them" as well. There's a slight pressure in the air that wasn't there before, probably caused by their presence. Just how powerful are these princesses?

"You must be Seth Rogers," Celestia conjectures, walking closer to me. She's taller than I am, if I take her horn into account. Wow, it's odd to be standing head to head with a pony this tall. Okay. I need to not be cowed by this fucker. Steeling myself, I return my gaze to her eyes.

"I don't know, do you see any other humans around?" I remark sarcastically. Twilight looks horrified at that.

"Seth! Don't be rude, she's a princess!" Twilight hisses at me. I ignore her though. As far as I'm concerned, her part in my story is over. She can go sit in a corner while I murder Sombra.

"It's quite all right, Twilight," Celestia soothes her. Twilight doesn't look satisfied, but she does back down. "Now then. I must say, it is quite the honor to meet one of our precursors. I am Princess Celestia."

"And we are Princess Luna," the other princess says, having descended from the chariot and joined us. She's not as tall as Celestia, but still tall enough that she can look into my eyes without craning her head. I raise an eyebrow. Did she just say, "We?" What's up with that?

"Well, you already know my name. I hope you didn't expect someone useful. I'm here because I'm unlucky," I return, shoving my hands into my pockets to warm them. "Now what exactly was so important that you felt you needed to come see me personally?"

"Before we get into that, why don't we go inside?" Celestia suggests sensibly, and I find myself nodding in agreement. It's freezing out here. "Twilight?"

"Of course, princess! My house is always open to you. Come on in, everyone!" Twilight obliges with an excited smile, leading the way into her house.

"Guards, remain on standby until we return," I hear Luna order the armored pegasi outside, just as I walk back into Twilight's house.

Celestia and Luna then join us inside the house, their eyes now solely on me. Twilight notices the atmosphere and gulps. "I'll uh...go make some tea," she stammers, removing herself to the kitchen. That leaves me alone with the two princesses.

"I'm sure you must have a lot of questions, Seth. Do you mind if I call you Seth?" Celestia finally begins, breaking the awkward silence.

"I actually prefer it," I reveal, idly running a hand through my hair, wincing when I come across several knots. "So...really? You're just going to let me start?"

"Of course. There must be some reason a human has appeared for the first time in three millennia. I assume you would be disoriented or confused," Celestia explains, rather accurately describing how I felt when I first arrived in this era.

"Huh. Very perceptive of you. That's...not at all what I expected," I admit.

"Oh? What didst thou expect?" Luna speaks up for the first time, and to my shock, I realize she's speaking in early modern English, just like Sombra did.

"If the government here was anything like it was back in my era, I half expected to be immediately seized and thrown into a lab somewhere for study," I tell them bluntly. The both of them look appalled at the notion.

"Absolutely not. Putting your species' history behind, you are a newcomer to Equestria. As its sovereigns, we would like to make you feel welcome here," Celestia affirms, giving me a warm smile.

"Though we art quite curious as to thy origins, when thy kind hath been considered extinct," Luna adds. And there's the catch. Oh, sure, you're welcome...as long as you tell us what we want to know.

"Make me feel welcome, huh? Why don't I believe that?" I ask sardonically, crossing my arms. Celestia raises an eyebrow at my cynicism, but Luna is much more vocal.

"ART THOU CALLING MY SISTER A LIAR?!" Luna's voice suddenly rises several decibels in volume, her eyes blazing white with what I assume to be magical power. I step back, cover my ears, and screw my eyes shut until the last echoes of her incredibly loud voice fade away.

"You know...if you really want me to tell you anything, is shouting at me really the smartest thing to do?" I point out, gingerly moving my hands off of my ears. If anything, Luna looks even more enraged. She opens her mouth again, but this time Celestia places a hoof on Luna's shoulder, and then gives her a stern look.

"Please forgive my sister, Seth. She does not entirely trust your species," Celestia explains with an apologetic expression.

"How can we, when all of thy literature we hath discovered shows a fixation with war and other atrocities?" Luna protests. In response, I give her a grin, which surprises her.

"Okay, I like you. You're smart," I say, pointing at Luna, who now looks utterly perplexed, as does Celestia. "You're right. Most of my kind is vicious, ruthless, and evil, and if you have access to some of our literature, you should know not to trust us."

"Thou admits it freely?" Luna says with a suspicious glance. I nod in response, before looking at Celestia.

"My question is why you are so willing to trust me. Come to think of it, everypony here has completely opened themselves up to me, even though I'm a complete unknown. Why is Luna here the only one who isn't naïve?" I demand, jabbing my finger at her. Celestia's ears twitch, but she manages to keep her expression neutral.

"You appear to be a very cynical individual, Seth," Celestia states, causing me to roll my eyes. Gee, what was your first clue. "Perhaps to one such as you, my view point may indeed seem naïve. But if there's one thing I've learned from my long years of life, it's that everyone deserves a chance, no matter who they are."

"Long years, huh? How old are you, anyway?" I question, her words resonating in my mind. She sounds a lot like my mother did, whenever she would lecture me about the ways I treated people.

"My sister and I have been in power since Discord's defeat, over a millennia ago," Celestia discloses, and then my jaw promptly falls to the floor. The princesses are over a thousand fucking years old?! How...what...are they immortal?

That means they've had a lot more experience with ponies than I have, and if ponies are similar to humans, then she would know what she's talking about...no, she's an idiot. She can't possibly expect me to believe that there's ponies worth trusting out there.

"I see your point," I admit reluctantly. She basically told me to shut up because I'm nothing but a child to them. "Now then...I can accept that you are willing to trust me. But I have to be honest: I'm not going to trust you so soon after meeting you."

"I appreciate your honesty. All I ask is the opportunity to earn your trust," Celestia acknowledges with a dip of her head.

I don't know how to feel about this. She's a pony, yes, and since they're like humans, she'll have some ulterior motive behind her being this nice. But on the other hand, it feels like she's being sincere. Instead of acting defensive or depressed when I act cynical like I always do, she essentially told me that she's fine with it, and hopes that I'll eventually trust her. That...is the most unique approach I've ever seen anyone take when talking to me.

"The tea is ready!" Twilight calls, and then she emerges from the kitchen. Floating in the air in front of her is a platter with a teapot and cups atop it. Luna and Celestia's horns light up a dark blue and a soft yellow, respectively, and then two cups levitate from the platter and fly over towards them.

"Thank you, Twilight. Now that you are here, I believe we can cut to the heart of the matter," Celestia says, her tone becoming dead serious. I watch the princess curiously, taking the cup that Twilight offers me. "Seth, would you mind telling us how you know about King Sombra?"

I grip the teacup harder, a dark look crossing my face. This is it. I will finally learn about the bastard that killed my family and friend. "Before that, I'd like to know who he is," I answer rudely. When Luna opens her mouth, probably to protest, I cut across her. "Look, you ponies have been trying to get information out of me ever since I got here. I said I wasn't telling anypony anything until I learned more about Sombra, and I meant it."

"I'd like to know who he is, too, princess," Twilight joins timidly, gazing at her mentor. "I'm interested in why he's not in any of my books or records."

"I suppose that's fair," Celestia relents, while her sister looks less than pleased. Celestia produces a small pink crystal from her mane, and then places it on the ground. "I'd best start from the beginning. Over a thousand years ago, in the far north, there was a separate kingdom known as the Crystal Empire."

Celestia's horn lights up, and suddenly a beam of light strikes the crystal. To my shock, a three dimensional hologram fades into existence. It depicts a massive city arranged in an angular pattern around one massive crystal structure that looks like a cross between the damn Eiffel Tower and the Crystal Tower from Final Fantasy III. Wow, that's just fucking awesome. I look in awe at the city before me. So this is the Crystal Empire. It's beautiful.

Twilight's eyes light up immediately, and she levitates a stack of parchment and several assorted writing materials over to her. She immediately starts taking notes, causing me to roll my eyes.

"The magic of the Crystal Empire was so great, it affected the land around it, causing crystals to grow naturally from the ground and giving the pony inhabitants a crystalline appearance," Celestia continues. I adopt a deadpan expression at her words. Really? Crystals growing from the damn ground? There is something seriously wrong with this world, I swear. "Not only that, but the magic of the Crystal Heart, the embodiment of the hope and love of the citizens, was strong enough to blanket all of Equestria in these traits."

As I watch, the hologram zooms in to the bottom of the tower, making me feel like I'm actually there. In the middle of the clearing beneath the tower, there's a glowing heart carved from crystal slowly spinning in a crystal apparatus. Geez, everything in this place is made of fucking crystal.

"The Crystal Empire enjoyed a peaceful prosperity, trading crystals with neighboring countries in turn for the resources they did not have. This all came to an end, however, when Sombra first appeared."

The hologram pans away from the Crystal Heart, flying across the entire city in the space of a few seconds until at last it rests upon a crystalline clifftop on the outskirts of town. There is a dark figure standing there, and as the hologram draws closer, I recognize him immediately.

"That's him," I gasp. There's no way I forget him. Sombra stands atop the cliff, garbed in that same iron breastplate and red cloak, along with that crown that held back his wild black hair. There was only one difference between this Sombra, and the one I'd seen. He is a pony here. A unicorn as well, if that vicious looking reddish horn is anything to go by. He looks the very essence of evil, a wolfish grin stretched across his face. "Holy shit!"

Behind Sombra is a giant fucking army of what looks like...undead? I'm not wrong. Even Twilight is gasping at the terrifying sight. There's a lot of skeletal ponies out there, along with a few relatively fresh looking ponies that are probably the necromancers.

"Sombra's lust for power, as well as his grudge against the royal family of the Crystal Empire, caused him to invade the empire with all of his might. He was too strong for anypony to stop him, so it wasn't long before Sombra had seized control, proclaiming himself King," Celestia details, changing the hologram yet again, only this time there's a huge difference.

The city is now fucking black. Like, the crystals beforehand were all light blue and pink, but now they're black and gray. The tower looks like something out of Lord of the Rings, only minus the giant ass eye at the top.

"So Sombra is still in control of this place?" I ask eagerly, already envisioning what I'd do to him. Celestia shakes her head solemnly.

"He is not. But before I explain that, I would like for you to detail your experience with him," Celestia expresses, allowing the hologram to dissipate. I shrug, watching the city fade away into thin air. Fair enough. I've learned a lot about Sombra, so it's time I kept my word.

"All right. I met him back in my era, three thousand years ago, only he looked human for some reason," I relate. This short sentence is enough to surprise them.

"What? Sombra made it back to thy own era? Sister, how is this possible?" Luna inquires.

"I'm not sure, but it would explain why he was missing that one week before you and I made our counterattack," Celestia replies.

"I actually have a theory," Twilight spoke up, getting our attention. She quails slightly when we all look at her at once. Celestia gives her a warm smile, encouraging her to continue. "Well, from the information given, I can only assume that King Sombra must have seized control of Starswirl the Bearded's time travel and self-transformation spells. He then perfected them, allowing him to travel much further back in time than previously thought, and for a longer period of time, while transforming his body to fit in."

I gape at Twilight. That actually makes a lot of sense."But that still doesn't explain how I got here," I point out.

"I was hoping you could tell us more," Twilight says hopefully. Celestia, who had been thinking since Twilight's theory, returns to the conversation.

"That is a matter of some concern, as those spells were locked tightly within the Starswirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Royal Library," Celestia recalls, looking towards Luna.

"Indeed. We do not believe Sombra could have infiltrated the castle so easily," the night princess concurs. Now, I'm not the smartest of individuals when it comes to real life situations, but I can put two and two together. Somehow, Sombra got his hands, claws, hooves, whatever on that spell.

"That means one of two things," I start. The other three look at me expectantly. "Either your security sucked a lot more than you want to admit, or you had a traitor."

Both of the princesses glanced at one another, looking visibly disturbed at that notion, though I can't understand why. You're in charge of a country. It's obvious that someone's not going to like you.

"That is a matter for another time. For now, there is something that doesn't fit with Twilight's theory," Celestia finally says after that awkward silence. I notice that Twilight is actually nodding, as if she had expected her to say that.

"Even if he did acquire Starswirl's spells, they're far from being efficient enough to facilitate time travel to a time longer than a week, much less three millennia," Celestia explains. That reminds me of what Twilight had said during one of our previous conversations. "In addition, the self-transformation spell is heavily flawed, in that it is permanent, and if performed incorrectly, can kill the caster."

"Therefore it stands to reason that Sombra found some way to improve or perfect these spells, if we assume that the spells were stolen in the first place," Luna completes. You see, this I can get into. These rulers are clearly very intelligent and willing to work with me make sense of this whole situation. If I know more about Sombra, the higher my chances of killing him are.

"Possibly. I don't recall Sombra being the scholarly type, so I think it unlikely that he created these spells from scratch. By that same logic, however, it's also a stretch to think that he could have improved upon Starswirl's spells without help," Celestia asserts. Twilight is scribbling notes at an incredible pace to keep up with everything that's being said.

"Whether he had help or not, the fact remains that he did make himself a human and come to my era. He was in my school, for god's sake," I say, changing the subject. While interesting, finding out how he came to my era doesn't change the fact that he did.

"Truly? What purpose didst he approach thy school?" Luna asks, quirking an eyebrow. Both Celestia and Twilight are looking at me with interest. Dammit, guess I'd better tell the full story.

"Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is what he said to me, and what he did to my race," I say, shrugging. "Let me give you the shortened version. I ran into Sombra in the stairwell of my school on a normal day. Literally, I ran into him. He was preparing some spell or another that he accidentally cast on me when I ran into him, and he was angry about it for a few moments before he decided I fit his criteria or whatever. Then he left, I passed out, and now I'm here. But while I was unconscious..."

"Tell me, do you know what happened to the human race?" I ask in a deceivingly calm voice.

"Unfortunately, we do not. Despite our age, there was not much in the way of records left behind. There are many theories as to why the humans disappeared," Celestia replies, appearing uncertain as to where I'm going with this.

"My favorite is that the humans suffered from overpopulation, a theory which is supported by the presence of advanced technological constructs designed to promote health, such as the heart rate monitor that we use now," Twilight spoke up, seemingly oddly excited. She wasn't completely wrong; no doubt humanity would have had to face the desolation of our planet's resources had we lived a few decades more. "As a result, humanity resorted to underground bunkers-some of which we've discovered-and the historian Noire Page even theorized that some humans may have traveled into space!"

I did my best not to laugh at that. Yeah, there wouldn't have been any humans going to space. Our space exploration program had their funding pulled a while before the whole Sombra incident. As for underground bunkers...that makes a little sense. No doubt pockets of human resistance turtled up within these bunkers in an attempt to hold off the Oppressed. Too bad it didn't work.

"Ludicrous. The night skies are under my command, and there are no humans living among the stars," Luna says with a scoff. I raise an eyebrow at that. The night skies are under your command? The fuck does that mean?

"Luna's right. There was no space travel," I affirm. I don't miss the slight look of disappointment cross Twilight's face. "The overpopulation theory is also wrong."

"Can you tell us what did happen?" Celestia asks softly. From the way she's looking at me, I think she knows what I'm about to say.

"They all died. Sombra murdered every single damn one of them, down to the last man, woman, and child," I growl. Twilight gasps in horror, while Luna raises a hoof to her mouth in shock. Celestia looks down with a sad expression. Turns out she had her suspicions after all. Now idea how though. She's also super old, so I'm guessing reading people comes with age.

"That's...that's horrible!" Twilight exclaims. A few moments later, she looks at me with grim understanding in her eyes. "...Is that why you won't let anypony get close?"

"Yeah, go ahead and make assumptions Twilight. It's none of your damn business what I do with my social life," I growl at her, annoyed that she brought that up. Tell someone one small unrelated detail, and suddenly they think they have you all figured out. Fucking pisses me off. When Twilight opens her mouth to protest, I cut her off. "Hello, there's princesses in the room? This is no place for that kind of talk anyway."

"We...I am sorry thou hadst suffered such tragedy, Seth," Luna chokes out. I give her a disbelieving look. Like I care what you feel about it. You weren't there. You can't know. I wasn't there either, and that's what makes it worse.

"Doesn't this mean that Sombra is in part responsible for our very evolution?" Twilight speaks up timidly. The Luna looks thoughtful at that suggestion, but Celestia is still gazing at me with veiled worry.

"No. The human race would have died out anyway. It was just a matter of time," I correct her bitterly. "You weren't wrong about overpopulation. It was a problem, one that would have severely affected us even if Sombra hadn't arrived."

"Oh..." Twilight trails off, looking crushed. Finally, I get annoyed at being stared at, so I return Celestia's gaze, glaring at her.

"I assume you want revenge?" Celestia asks me softly. Once again, she shocks me with her perceptiveness. I'm starting to see why she's part of the ruling duo. Besides being immortal, of course.

"You're damn right I do," I answer, a twisted grin crossing my face. This earns a sad sigh from Celestia, while Luna and Twilight give me concerned looks.

"Would you mind if Seth and I spoke privately?" Celestia requests suddenly, addressing Twilight and Luna. I give the princess an askance look. What could she possibly have to say that can't be said in front of her sister and student?

Turns out I'm not the only one who thinks this is a bit odd. "Sister?" Luna asks curiously. This prompts Celestia to give her sister a long, calm look. "Okay. We trust thee."

"Of course, princess. If you'd like, you can use my room upstairs," Twilight offers, deciding not to question it as well. How nice it must be to blindly trust someone like that. I see Celestia gesturing towards the staircase.

"Oookaayy..." I mutter, a bit concerned. Whatever. I'm sure it's important, whatever it is. Pony or not, she is royalty.

I tramp up the stairs after ear, feeling the eyes of Luna and Twilight following us until we pass out of view. I've never been in this portion of the house, and...now that I think about it, I've never actually been in a girl's room. Not that I'd see Twilight as a girl...it's that she's female...and...fuck it, why am I bothering to explain it? This is my own journal, after all. If someone else is reading this, then fuck you with a house.

Walking into Twilight's room, the first thing I notice is...more bookshelves. I don't know what I expected. This in an interesting set up for a room, though. Twilight's bed is on an extended ledge situated just above us as we enter, beneath a window, with a smaller staircase circling around the right side of the room.

Celestia keeps walking until she reaches the other side of the room, and then she turns around, her mane gently reflecting the early sunlight. She regards me with what I'm sure was supposed to be a motherly expression for a few moments, until I get impatient.

"Okay, so what do you want, and why can't Luna or Twilight hear it?" I demand, crossing my arms across my ripped and stained shirt.

"It's mostly for your sake, rather than theirs," Celestia reveals, albeit cryptically. "Now, I want you to listen very carefully to what I have to say."

Suddenly I have a very bad feeling about this. "Get on with it."

"I would like you to abandon your plans of revenge," she begins, and immediately I get angry. "All it will do is bring you pain."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I shout instantly, preventing her from speaking further. "I don't care that you're some pony princess or whatever. I'm not a pony, and therefore not your subject!"

"You are right, of course. I cannot order you to listen to me. This is simply a request from one who knows how it feels to be wronged as you have," Celestia clarifies, not even flinching at my angry outburst.

"Don't you even. Don't you dare say you know how it feels! Have you lost your entire race?!" I shoot back, jabbing a finger at her. Celestia gives me a sad, knowing smile.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think this is about your race," she corrects me softly. I freeze. But...my race...she...how the fuck did she know? I think my shocked expression is enough for Celestia to know she's right.

"You..." I stammer out, but I can't seem to form an intelligable sentence.

"I don't know who in particular you lost, Seth, but taking it out on Sombra will not bring them back. In the end, the only one hurt will be you." Celestia moves closer to me.

My knees feel weak. Celestia's words are cutting right through me like a knife. I don't know how she knows all this. Everything she says is spot on, and that's only making me feel worse.

Celestia is quiet, allowing me to sort through the jumbled mess of thoughts that are running through my head. I mean, it's not like I haven't heard a speech like this before. There's animes out there that have this very same lesson in it. It's just that I've never had it spoken specifically to me before, and had it actually apply.

Celestia is right. Even if I kill Sombra, Amaryllis, Maka, Adam, and my parents will still be dead. No, instead I'd have to deal with the fact that I'd killed someone in cold blood.

You know what? I'm prepared to deal with that.

"You're right, Celestia. They aren't coming back. But this is something I have to do," I declare in a firm voice. "I won't let someone like that go on living. If I don't do it, then who will?"

Celestia stares at me sadly, heaving a sigh. "It would have been easier to get you to give up on your own," she laments mysteriously. I shoot her a glance.

"What are you talking about?" I say with a hint of dread. On your own? Does that mean she intends to force me to give up? Imprison me? My hand snakes around to the rifle on my back. It's empty, but that doesn't mean I won't use it to defend myself.

"Peace, Seth. I do not intend to harm you," Celestia reassures me, though I don't believe her in the least. "There's something I have to tell you about Sombra."

"Spit it out, then." At my insistence, Celestia nods, taking a breath.

"Sombra is gone. Luna and I destroyed his empire together, dissolving his physical body and crushing his army," she revealed. At her revelation, my blood runs cold. My shoulders slump, and I look down at the ground. So this was all pointless anyway.

"So...there's nothing to take revenge on...?" I ask weakly. Celestia nods, and my spirits are crushed. Now what's the fucking point? From the depths of sorrow, a fresh wave of anger rushes forth.

"FUCK!" I cry out furiously, slamming a fist into the wooden wall, ignoring the pain that results. "This...THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

Celestia watches in silence as I storm around the room on a rampage, grabbing a flower vase and hurling it at the ground, where it shatters. I break and smash everything in my way, my anger dulling my senses. It doesn't matter that this stuff isn't mine. I just need to break something.

Whenever I break something, Celestia's horn glows yellow, and the affected object repairs itself and returns to its previous location. It doesn't matter how many times I break the same object; Celestia repairs it without fail.

She waits patiently until my anger runs its course, resulting me kneeling on the ground with a torn book in my hands. "What...what the fuck am I supposed to do now?" I murmur to myself, tossing the book aside, where Celestia repairs it and places it back on the shelf where it belongs.

"I'm not saying you should forget your loved ones. But Twilight and her friends are good ponies. I don't think you'll believe me at first, but they're not like the humans that you appear to despise," Celestia finally says, perceiving now as being the best time to approach me. I give her a suspicious look.

"What makes you think I hate my own race?" I demand. She's right, but how the fuck would she know how I feel about them? And what makes her so certain they're not like humans? They act practically the same way.

Celestia gives me a knowing smile. "Please, Seth. I can learn a lot simply from one simple conversation. For example, you identified with Luna when she distrusted you, and accused me of being naïve. Something must have happened between you and fellow humans to make you believe that trusting another is a weakness."

"Yes, but..."

"It's also clear that you believe that when one expresses kindness to you, they possess some ulterior motive. That being said, when you are treated with genuine kindness, you don't know how to react," Celestia continues, and my jaw hits the damn ground. How the hell can she sum me up so easily just from one tiny conversation? This...what is this shit? She's like, mind-fucking me.

"So let me ask you: please give Twilight and her friends a chance. They aren't perfect, but they are genuinely good ponies. I believe that you and them could become very good friends," Celestia requests, gazing down at me comfortingly.

I really want to argue, but at this point, I just don't have the will. What would I even say? There's too much shit that I can recall to prove that humans are indeed worthless, but her argument is that ponies aren't like humans. There's been nothing to prove her right, but I can't prove her wrong either. So many things have happened since I got here that I just can't explain.

"I can't promise anything," I say softly, finally meeting Celestia's gaze. "But I'll give it a shot."

Celestia's smile grows much wider at that, and she offers me a hoof. I take it, and she hoists me to my feet without expending much effort.

"That's all anypony can ask for."

---

Well, now here's the character development you all have been screaming for! There's going to be a lot of soul searching Seth throughout this arc, with most of it coming into play either next chapter or the one after the next.

Writer's block hit me at the part with the long conversation between the sisters and him, but I got through thanks to really good music, which I've linked into this chapter.

I'm a bit concerned on if I managed to portray Celestia and Luna correctly. Leave me a review and tell me how I did!

I can't believe I said that. I cannot believe I just fucking said that. I can't believe that any of this is happening.

I'm standing in Twilight's room, with Princess Celestia a few feet away from me, smiling gently. With a resigned sigh, I rest my back against the wooden wall and rub a hand against my brow. I essentially agreed to stop being such an ass to Twilight and her "friends." It occurs to me then that I don't know who her friends are. I'm assuming Rarity is one of them, given how Twilight mentioned her earlier. Wait, at the party, Twilight had spoken with Applejack, Rainbow, and Vinyl. If those are her friends...then I guess it could be worse. I live with Vinyl, and she seems pretty chill. Applejack...well I'm still mad at her for forcing me to take her sister to school.

Then there's Rainbow. I have no idea what to think of that pony. On one hand, she's got an ego the size of Montana, but on the other...she's a lot like Amaryllis. Tomboyish, rough, and fiercely loyal were all traits the two of them shared.

So yeah...it could be much worse. I mean, Pinkie could be one of her friends after all. That would suck so much, especially after I'd torn the poor mare a new one just yesterday.

"Are you ready to return to the others?" Celestia asks me softly, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hesitate, and then nod, not really in the mood to talk.

The princess and I walk back down the stairs and into the main room once more. What awaits me is a very beautiful sight.

Luna's horn is glowing a dark blue, and a faint ray of light emanates from it. Projected in the air around the center table is the image of a cluster of stars and galaxies, which Twilight is gazing at in awe while scribbling down more notes.

The moment we enter the room, Luna terminates the spell or whatever it is she's doing to make that image appear, and the two of them watch us worriedly.

"Princess, are you all right? We heard a commotion upstairs," Twilight immediately asks, standing up and galloping over to us. I walk right past her like a zombie, my facial expression devoid of all emotion. While Twilight is talking to Celestia, Luna is watching me, probably curious as to why I look so different. Actually, I'm probably being foolish. She probably knows exactly what I'm feeling, having been one of the ponies who killed Sombra before I had a chance to do it myself.

"I am fine, Twilight. I was merely helping Seth understand something. I can fill you in later if you'd like," Celestia responds kindly.

"No," I say out of impulse, not even realizing I said it until I see the surprised and curious expressions of the other three ponies. "I'll do it myself."

"All right. I would actually prefer she hear it from you," Celestia concurs, her surprise turning to satisfaction. No...I'm not doing this because of what you said. I just don't want you telling her about something as personal as this. If my secrets are going to be spilled, it will be on my terms.

"Sister, art thou finished? No doubt the council is in an uproar, given our sudden departure," Luna questioned, sniffing derisively when she mentioned the council. Usually, I'd feel the need to question that. Why do they need a council if the two of them are in charge of the country? Or are they figureheads? I should ask...but I just don't feel up to it right now.

"I believe we are done here. Twilight, I entrust Seth's well-being to you," Celestia decides. Twilight gasps, while Luna looks aghast. Even I give her an incredulous gaze. What the fuck does that mean? I can take care of myself.

"Me? Look after the first human in Equestria?" Twilight exclaims. I can't tell whether or not she sounds incredulous or excited.

"Sister, what is this madness? Humans art violent creatures. Surely it wouldst behoove us to return to Canterlot with him?" Luna protests, gesturing at me with a hoof.

"That aside, I don't need looking after. I'm perfectly able to take care of myself," I add. Celestia shakes her head, as if she's admonishing a foal.

"I do not mean to insult you, Seth. I only wish for Twilight to help you acclimatize to living in Equestria," Celestia clarifies. I'm still not convinced. I've done well enough on my own so far. I don't need the help of some sequestered librarian pony. "Luna, what he needs isn't to be isolated in the castle, where the other ponies will gawk and gossip about him. No, what he needs is the kindness and love that I know Twilight and her friends can show him."

"Still here, thank you," I point out, but I'm practically ignored. I huff irritably. I wish they wouldn't talk about me like I'm not here. Plus, kindness and love? Two of the most fake emotions to ever exist. Not to mention really cheesy when used in a serious conversation like this.

"I beg thee, at least place some of our guards here in Ponyville, if only for our peace of mind," Luna insists.

"I assure you that won't be necessary. Seth has been here for almost a week now. If he planned to hurt our subjects, he would have had many opportunities to do so before now," Celestia reasons.

"You ponies can be ridiculously annoying, but I'm no murderer," I tack on, staring at the floor. Don't get me wrong, there are many points in my life where I've wanted to physically hurt someone. Sometimes, I've even acted on those thoughts, resulting in fistfights with my peers in my early years. But...I never thought about killing anyone. I still don't. I won't be able to bear to see the life leave someone's eyes. There's enough pain in this world. I won't become like the rest of the shitty human race and add to it. Hah, listen to me. I seem like a whiny bitch, even on paper.

"We do not like this," Luna says, acquiescing with bad grace.

"I won't let you down, princess!" Twilight exclaims, hopping up and down. Yup, she looks excited. I figured as much.

"I know you won't. Now, if you'll excuse us, we must return to Canterlot, lest the councilors work themselves up into a panic," Celestia says, cantering gracefully towards the door and opening it with her magic. "It was good to meet you, Seth."

"Likewise, I guess," I reply uncomfortably. There may be some merit to what Celestia says about ponies not being like humans. At the very least, she's different. I've never met anyone who acts like she does. She's in a class of her own. Unique. Beautiful. The way the morning sun reflects off of her flowing mane is just gorgeous...and what the fuck did I just think?

"Feel free to send me a letter whenever you'd like," Celestia offers, gazing at me. I snap out of my thoughts and nod mutely. Satisfied, Celestia shares one last nuzzle with Twilight, and then to my utter shock, she walks up to me and gives me a nuzzle as well, her snout rubbing gently on my cheek for a short moment before she backs away. It happened so fast I didn't even know what was happening until she was already walking out the door with Luna.

I stand there paralyzed, my hand resting on my cheek where Celestia had nuzzled me. I'm guessing that nuzzles are the ponies way of showing friendly affection, kind of like how humans hug one another. No one had ever hugged me apart from my mother and Amaryllis, and the latter had only done it the once. In Equestria, I'd been "hugged" by Apple Bloom, Derpy (if you can even call that a nuzzle), and the fucking Royal Princess of the Sun in less than a damn week.

"Hey, Equestria to Seth," Twilight calls to me with amusement, prodding my leg with a hoof. I look at her to see she looks the slightest bit smug. I flush when I realize she's seen how off guard I am. Damn it, she better not think less of me for this. I'm not weak! I'm just...unused to this place. These ponies. I don't...fucking...what even.

"What?" I grunt, averting my face to keep her from seeing my blush.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Twilight asks. Almost on cue, my stomach gives the most obvious of growls. Goddammit. My blush deepens as Twilight giggles at that. "I guess not. What do you say we go eat somewhere?"

"Why would I..." I begin, but then stop myself.

"So let me ask you: please give Twilight and her friends a chance."

"Sorry, but I can't afford to eat out," I correct myself before I finish my snide comment. I still don't feel like eating with Twilight, because I'm used to eating meals on my own. But I did say I'd give them a chance, and I do keep my word. Goddammit, why did I say that? All this is doing is opening the both of us up for future pain.

"Don't worry about money. I'll pay for you," Twilight offers, but then she claps a hoof to her mouth when she realizes what she'd said. I give her a firm look.

"Absolutely not. I won't be in your debt any more than I already am," I asserted with a grim expression, referring to when she'd forced me to be healed by her.

"Don't look at it that way. I won't try and get anything out of you for this, I promise. Your happiness is all I want," Twilight pleads, desperately trying to get me to change my mind. It's not working.

"That's bullshit if I've ever heard it," I scoff, trying not to gag at how cheesy that line sounded. Please, no one really thinks that way. "Sorry, but I'll just buy something from Golden Harvest on my way to work."

"You are so stubborn!" Twilight huffs, adopting that adorable pout. "How about this: if I pay for your breakfast, you tell me about what Celestia spoke to you about while we're there."

"What are you talking about? I was going to tell you about that anyway," I demand, unsure what she's trying to pull here. Twilight adopts a devious smile at my question.

"Yes, but you never did say when," Twilight says. I freeze, and her smile becomes triumphant. Shit, she saw right through me.

"Dammit, fine. Using favors to get stuff out of me. Just like every other human," I relent, slightly irritated.

"Don't talk like that. I'm only proposing an even trade because you're too paranoid I'll hold my favor over your head or something," Twilight counters. I don't have a retort for that. For a moment, I feel like telling her exactly why I know she would hold a free meal over my head, but then I stop. I've blown up enough today. Not to mention I'm not ready to tell anyone that story just yet. I don't even want to relive it myself. I shudder just thinking about it. My breathing quickens and I start to sweat. Shit, I need to think of something else.

"Whatever," is my delayed response. That's the most accurate summary of my thoughts right now. Twilight's smile returns, and she opens the door with her magic. Shaking my head and scowling, I stride out the door, Twilight following close behind me.

The town is starting to wake up, ponies trotting out of their houses to head to work or wherever. While we walk, I get the usual glances, most of them angry or curious this time for whatever reason. However, I notice that some of them are looking at us in shock. Maybe it's because this is one of the few times I'm not alone. Or maybe they know Twilight. Fuck it, I don't care.

"Do ponies always stare at you like this?" Twilight asks quietly.

"Yup," is my terse response. I don't know why she cares anyway. Maybe she's jealous I get more attention than her. That wouldn't surprise me.

"I'm sorry. That must be uncomfortable for you," she empathizes, pressing her muzzle against me in what I'm guessing is supposed to be a comforting manner. To me, that's just...odd. Over time, I've just started looking past their appearance and viewing them as just more humans. That being said, it's really jarring when they break human societal customs and start doing shit like that. For all I know, it's normal for them.

We continue the rest of the way in an awkward silence. I don't think Twilight knows what to say to me. In my case, I just prefer to pretend she's not there.

She eventually takes the lead from me, since I don't know what place she has in mind. When we pass the path that leads to Sweet Apple Acres, I have a miniature heart-attack because I think she's leading me to Applejack's for breakfast. Thankfully, we continue past that until we reach a decently sized building crammed between two other houses or businesses. Fucking, I don't know how to tell the difference yet.

"This is it. Armare's. I sometimes come here with the girls when we're all free," Twilight explains, pointing towards the entrance with a hoof. It looks pretty nice inside. Not quite a French restaurant, but definitely fancier than a fast food place. If I had to make a comparison, it's closest in style to someplace like IHOP.

"What do they serve?" I inquire, following her inside. Before she can answer, the stallion earth pony at the front behind a counter greets us.

"Welcome to Armare's! Hello Miss Sparkle. Will you be wanting your usual table today?" His greeting is crisp and proper, yet he's got a wide smile on his face. Huh, cheery demeanor and he knows her name. I feel like I've walked into a place run by Publix employees. As usual, his eyes widen slightly upon seeing me, but he doesn't comment. Probably knows better.

"Yes please. Just two this time around," Twilight replies politely. The stallion gives a small bow, which looks odd from a pony, and then fishes out two menus.

"Right this way please," the stallion requests. We follow him through the groups of other ponies, almost all of whom look up at me in awe as I pass by.

"Oh, Seth! Hi!" a voice greets me as I pass by a particular table. I turn my head, and I see none other than a very hated mint green unicorn. Shit, it's Lyra and Bon Bon. What are the fucking odds of this? Lyra is smiling and waving a hoof at me. I turn my head away without saying anything, ignoring the fact that she'd spoken to me. Her smile drops in an instant, her expression turning distraught. "Seth, please!"

"Seth? What was that all about?" Twilight questions as we're led to our seat, which to my dismay isn't that far away from Lyra. I give a pointed glance at the stallion who is seating us. Twilight gets the hint.

"Somepony will be with you shortly. Have a nice day!" the stallion expresses, handing each of us a menu. I still don't know how these ponies grab stuff like this with hooves and no hands. Probably better not to ask.

"Seth?" Twilight repeats once the stallion leaves and we're relatively alone. I grunt in annoyance. I honestly don't feel like telling her, but I did say I'd try being friendly.

"That bitch thought it would be a good idea to try and flirt with me," I scoff, ignoring Lyra looking at me sadly even now. Twilight tilted her head, looking bemused.

"Really? Are you sure she wasn't just being friendly?" I give her a very irritated stare at her words.

"Please, Twilight. I've been alive long enough to be able to read the signs. That was flirting, and it was disgusting," I snap. We pause our conversation for a short moment when a waitress comes by, asking if we want drinks. I order some water, and Twilight follows suit. When she's gone, we continue.

"Why is it disgusting? I mean, I doubt it was serious. You can't have known her for very long," Twilight presses. Is she really asking these questions? Why should I have to explain myself? No one ever...fuck it, she's always explained herself to me.

"Because I don't want to fuck animals!" is my very diplomatic response. I can see Twilight taking offense even as I continue. "I don't care if it was serious or not. It's the idea of it that is revolting."

"Seth, we're not animals! I don't know how things were in your era, but we're intelligent, not driven by instinct like you claim," Twilight argues back, her brow furrowing in anger.

"You're animals to me. It doesn't matter how long I spend here in this crazy world. That will never change," I say off-handedly. It doesn't matter how she words it. I will always see these ponies are more cartoony versions of the ones I know. I'd never fuck a pony in my era, so I'd never fuck a pony in this era just because they can talk.

"Seth, that's not fair! You can't judge us just because we look different from you! That's downright bigotry!" Twilight snaps at me, slamming a hoof on the table.

"Whatever. I'm not going to suddenly think differently of your species just because you think it's wrong," I reply, not really caring. Twilight opens her mouth, but then the waitress returns with our drinks, so we glare at one another sullenly until she leaves.

"Tell me then. What are you going to do? There's no humans here. If you ever want to find romance, you'll have to look past our appearance," Twilight points out while I take a sip. This time, something about her argument strikes a chord within me. I set down the cup hard and narrow my eyes.

"Look, I'm giving you a chance because Celestia asked me to. I've having a hard enough time accepting that I supposedly need friends. Why the fuck do you think that I'd even consider romance?!" I shoot back, ignoring the empty feeling in my chest. Her words cut me deeper than I want to admit.

"She what?!" Twilight gasps, her eyes widening. A few seconds later, she adopts an expression of understanding. "So that's what Princess Celestia spoke to you about?"

"Pretty much. I got this whole, 'by the way, Sombra is dead and you should get the fuck over yourself' speech. Albeit with different words," I reveal, and then I drain half of the cup of water.

"She's right, though. Nopony, or human in your case, can handle being alone all their life," Twilight whispers. "I found that out myself, only a year ago."

"Well, I don't believe that," I grunt, my spirits falling further. We fall into silence once more, neither of us having anything more to say. I know she's technically right, and I'm being an incredible bigot, but...I'm not suddenly going to decide that ponies are sexually attractive or whatever just because there's no more humans around.

For the first time, I pick up the menu and peer down at it. What the hell is all this? Hayburgers? Hayfries? Daisy and dandelion sandwiches? What the fuck? Right, they're ponies. They eat like them too, though it doesn't make sense that they eat like we do. Is that just more evidence of human influence?

"Is there anything I can eat on here?" I mutter, forgetting that I'm not alone. Twilight tilts her head at me curiously.

"Do humans not eat hay?" she inquires. I give her a flat look.

"Hell no. We can eat grains like you do, but mostly we eat meat and dairy," I explain. Twilight visibly looks queasy after I finish talking. Oh, does the fact that I'm a carnivore make her uncomfortable? I make sure to give her a grin that shows off my canines. "Personally, I like a nice juicy steak."

"O...oh...well, that's...nice...?" Twilight stammers. I burst out into raucous laughter.

"I'm fucking with you, Twilight. I like meat, but if it's not readily available, it doesn't matter to me," I chortle, holding my sides. Twilight gives an annoyed huff. "Now, what the hell should I eat?"

"You said you ate grains, so you should be able to eat the pancakes," the librarian suggests, pointing at the item on the menu with her hoof. That gets my attention.

"Holy shit, they have pancakes," I utter in awe. "Welp, I know what I'm ordering."

The waitress dropped by a few minutes later with a pitcher of water on her back, which she uses to refill our drinks. We give our orders to her. I order a moderate portion of pancakes, while Twilight orders an omelet with hash-browns. So everypony is a vegetarian here, seeing as they eat animal byproducts. That will make this less painful.

The food is here very quickly for some reason. Like, five minutes after she leaves. How the hell does that work? Wait. I'm answering my own question. Magic.

A plate of steaming pancakes dribbled with warm maple syrup is placed in front of me. My mouth immediately begins to water. Oh my god.

Twilight giggles at the look on my face. "Just wait until you taste it. There's a reason I come here."

Thankfully, there's some silverware placed here for me. I guess they do have silverware at some of the fancier places. Perfect. Using a knife and fork, I cut into the pancakes and lift a piece to my mouth.

Oh my god, it's like sex in my mouth. I give a small moan at how fucking amazing this is, compared to everything else I've eaten here. The cake from Pinkie's party notwithstanding.

"You're really enjoying that, aren't you?" Twilight says with an amused grin.

"Shut up and let me enjoy this in peace," I grunt at her, digging into the pancakes. Goddamn, this is really good. To think that I can eat it for free. I didn't even have to tell Twilight much about that conversation in her room because she figured it out on her own.

Twilight isn't really one for being proper. She's practically sticking her face in her food, and it's getting all over her muzzle. I bet Rarity would have a fit.

When we're finished, Twilight pays the bill up at the front desk, and then we leave the restaurant. Thankfully Lyra and Bon Bon had left earlier than us, so I didn't have to run into them. It's now around the time when I should be getting to Applejack's.

"I need to go to work," I tell Twilight, crossing my arms.

"All right. I should be getting back to my studies, anyway," she acknowledges, nodding her head. "Just...please try to make some friends. I know you'll be better off for it."

"Pfeh. I'm strong enough to handle myself without them," I scoff, turning away. Twilight starts to protest, so I interrupt. "Look, I will try. I told Celestia I would."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted," Twilight expresses. Then, with one last wave, she leaves for her library, leaving me alone in the streets. Well, relatively speaking of course. There are still other ponies around me.

I should get to work. With that in mind, I travel down the streets until I'm standing back at the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. Just a short walk, and then I'll be hard at work on the farm again. And for what? For money to eat and keep a place to sleep. Then I'll just get up the next morning and do it all over again. Can I really keep doing that for the rest of my life?

No. I don't want to do this. I can't do this. Almost as if guided by an outside force, my feet turn and face away from the farm, propelling me instead towards the open fields in the general direction of the Everfree. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I can't go on like this.

This isn't what I wanted out of life. I don't know what I wanted, but this isn't it. I don't want to waste my time on a fucking farm surrounded by colorful ponies. Not when the cost for it was losing my family, and...Amaryllis.

I brood further as I walk further away. I walk so far I end up in Ponyville's outskirts. Yet for some reason, the urge to move doesn't die down. I ignore everything in my way. This includes the ponies that stare at me, or even the house across a small river that looks like it's been roofed with leaves. One time, I even think somepony calls to me. It might have been Flitter, if I remembered correctly. I ignore that too. Don't try to stop me. The terrain gets hillier and more rugged the more I travel, with several treacherous drops evident the closer I get to the Everfree.

I finally come to a stop at the top of a massive cliff that drops down into a rushing river, situated just a few meters away from the first trees of the forest. This probably isn't a very safe place to be, knowing how close to the forest I am. But safety isn't the first thing on my mind right now.

Twilight was right. I really am going to be alone for the rest of my life. There's not a damn thing in this life to look forward to. There's no chance of me ever finding romance, if such a thing even exists. After all, isn't love just lust in disguise? Lust is disrespectful.

Come to think of it, that was probably one of the reasons I never said anything to Amaryllis about my feelings for her. If I were her, and someone were to come up to me and say, "by the way, I'm really in love with you," my first response would be to punch him in the face and say, "yeah no, you just want to fuck me." I mean, I suppose I did feel that way towards Amaryllis, if I'm really honest with myself. I told myself it was more than that though. I wanted to see her happy. Someone like her should have been smiling more often. But...in the end I was probably just deluding myself.

It doesn't really matter anyway. She's dead. I need to face facts. I'm the first human to ever walk the earth since the apocalypse, and it doesn't mean a damn thing. Even if Celestia is right and there are ponies that aren't like the humans I remember, it's too late. I'm past the point of no return. I'm too broken to ever enjoy a meaningful relationship, platonic or no.

"Heh." I chuckle to myself as I stare out to the horizon, standing on the very edge of the cliff. "This is what it all comes down to, doesn't it?"

Fuck humans. Fuck ponies. Fuck friends, family, and love. Fuck life for dealing me such a shitty hand.

As I look down into the abyss before me, I feel strangely calm. Hope, dreams, and happiness...where do they come from? Where do they go? We spend our whole lives searching for a meaning to this pointless existence, and once we die, none of it matters anymore. What's the point in living, if everything eventually has to die?

Here I linger, like the dying flame of a candle as its wick melts to nothing. Just like a homeowner throws away the useless lump of wax once it's purpose is served, no one will care when I die. So why make it last longer?

My decision is made. I'm not waiting around any longer. One quick glance to the bottom of the cliff shows me sharp rocks and rushing water waiting for me. It's deep enough that the fall should kill me.

I'm not going to hesitate. I've never been a coward, even if this is technically the coward's way out. I don't care though.

My foot moves forward. I don't need to say anything. Nothing needs to be said. I won't say something like "Oh, goodbye cruel world!" Like anyone ever said that. Yeah, life is cruel. Everybody knows that. That's no reason to do something like this. When somebody is driven to harm themselves like I'm doing now, there's more to it than that.

A breath leaves my lungs as gravity takes over. I deliberately allow myself to unbalance and topple over the edge. Almost immediately I can feel that nauseating feeling that comes from falling. Wind whips past my face, sending my hair fluttering in the air behind me. Time seems to move slowly for me.

Maybe if I had been born anywhere else, I wouldn't be like this. Maybe I'd have had a chance for a normal life somewhere else.

I swiftly look back over my life, the rocky rapids getting closer and closer to me every passing moment. I remember my early life and childhood, and how vicious mankind was to me the moment I was exposed to them. Oh, I didn't realize it at first. Everything was fine...until...Janna...showed me what humans were really like.

I smile ironically and close my eyes, mentally bracing myself for my incoming death. Goodbye Amaryllis. Maybe I'll be granted one last kindness, and I'll be able to see you again in an afterlife. A bitter chuckle escapes me at that thought. Then, the rushing sound of the rapids overpowers my every thought. This is it.

The next sensation that hits me is not at all what I expected. The first thing I hear is a sound akin to thunder. The earsplitting noise washes over me in a painful shock wave that I can practically feel. When I open my eyes, the only thing I can see are the colors of the rainbow flashing across my vision, blinding me until I have to shut my eyes again.

Something grasps me around the middle, two appendages of an unknown nature wrapping around me and holding me close. The amount of force with which the object hits me is enough to completely change my trajectory, diverting me away from my imminent death on the rocks. I can feel myself being propelled at a speed that makes roller coasters look like a kids toy. I'm going so fast that it's painful, and even the sound of the rapids is distorted. What the hell is going on? Why am I not dead?

I eventually slow down as whatever it is that has me decides to take me back to the ground. I feel myself being laid against the ground on my back. Soft grass tickles me through my torn clothing, and a slight breeze gusts over my face.

"Whew, that was close, even for me!" Wait a minute. That...scratchy female voice is familiar to me. Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. You fuckers had to even ruin my death, as well as my life?!

I shoot upwards, my eyes snapping open into an immediate glare, directed at the infernal cyan colored pony sitting on the grass not far from me. Rainbow Dash gives me a smile, panting slightly. Her mane is slightly damp from sweat, clinging to her face in tangles. She adjusts her mane with a hoof. "Relax, buddy. You're safe now."

"What the fucking hell, Rainbow?! I don't recall ever asking for your help!" My angry, almost primal shout takes Rainbow aback. My throat slightly hurts from just how loud I screamed. I reach my hand around to my rifle, though I'm not quite sure what I plan to do with it. To my surprise, Rainbow's eyes flash angrily, and she walks closer to me, getting in my face.

"What do you mean, 'what the hell?!' No, buck that, what the hay, Seth?!" Rainbow yells back at me, surprisingly echoing my foul language back at me. And it seems like she used some of her own as well. "Jumping off a cliff like that? What's wrong with you?"

"I don't have to tell you anything. Why the fuck didn't you just stay out of my business? Why can't any of you fucking ponies just LEAVE. ME. ALONE!?" I'm standing now, my rifle in my left hand, though I'm mostly leaning on it because of how sore I feel. Though I don't know why I feel so sore.

"What are you talking about? I pulled off a Sonic Rainboom just to get here in time to save you, and this is the thanks I get?" Rainbow snarls back at me, her face looking just as frightening as that one time at the party, when she threatened to beat the shit out of me. "What were you thinking? Were you trying to get yourself killed?!"

It hits her a few seconds later after I don't respond, instead averting my gaze and looking down at the ground. Rainbow's eyes widen, and her angry expression melts away, instead becoming one of pure and unadulterated shock. Actually, it won't be much of a stretch to call that traumatizing. Look at these little ponies running around in their happy idyllic world, not a care in the world. The idea of someone trying to end their own life probably never occurs to them.

Suddenly, Rainbow's hoof slams into my cheek, pure pain erupting from the point of impact. She hits me so hard, my head snaps to the right, and white lights flash in my vision. I clutch the affected cheek and stare at her in disbelief. Holy fuck, did she just hit me? She hits hard.

"Why...why would you..." Rainbow stammers out, and to my shock, she's actually crying. Not like, tears streaming down her cheeks crying, but more like I can see her eyes are wet. "You...you were, weren't you?"

"What does it matter to you, anyway? Scared that the only human in the world might disappear before you can get anything out of him?" I taunt, my right hand forming a confused gesture subconsciously.

"You...you idiot!" Rainbow's shout rivals the one I sent at her earlier. "Why would you ever want to...to kill yourself?!"

"If I didn't tell you anything before, I'm certainly not going to tell you anything now," I snap at her, furious that she's forcing me to stay in this shitty world. Just fuck off so I can try again, bitch. Rainbow glares at me in frustration. For a moment, I think she's actually going to leave, but then she gets closer.

"No, you know what? I don't have to take that. You're not going anywhere until you tell me why, buster!" Rainbow jabs a hoof in my face to embellish her point. My response is to laugh in her face.

"Like you can stop me. I'm going back to town," I tell her, turning my back on her and walking away.

I don't get more than a few feet before Rainbow clamps her teeth down on the collar of my shirt and yanks me back to where we started. I unbalance in the process and fall on my back. Then, the air whooshes out of my lungs as Rainbow's hoof slams down onto the middle of my chest, keeping me in place. "Yeah, tough luck, buddy. Like you can escape me, the fastest pegasus in Equestria," Rainbow sneers down at me.

I struggle as hard as I can, but I can't budge her. It's only now, when I have the chance to look at her up close, that I notice the powerful muscles rippling underneath her skin. She's...a hell of a lot stronger than I am, and she's not even an earth pony. She must exercise a ton. That means Applejack would probably be even stronger. I'm really nothing here.

"You ready to talk now?" Rainbow demands, hovering just above me, her wings flapping at a rate far beneath what they should be to keep that kind of body mass airborne. Fucking magic. I give her a slight nod, and she lifts the hoof from me.

I'm embarrassed to say that I immediately took off like a rocket, hoping to outrun her. I might as well have tried to reach the moon. She caught me easily, but that didn't stop me from trying over and over again. It's really childish of me to avoid my problems like this now that I write it down, but at the time all I want is to get away. I don't want to let anyone in. Not anymore. Not since the only ones who understood me died. I won't tell her. I can't tell her.

No matter what I try, I can't escape Rainbow. If I try to lose her in the canyon, she cuts me off from the other end. I also try to get away by throwing dust and rocks into her eyes, and I actually manage to get pretty far, but she zooms in like a fucking rocket and takes me all the way back kicking and screaming. I even try to run into the Everfree Forest in the hopes that I can get myself killed by a timberwolf or something, but she easily stops me then.

Finally, in one last desperate attempt, I attack her physically with my rifle. The way she takes care of me is just laughable. She easily deflects my strike with a hoof and then disarms me by striking the wrist of my right hand, which held the rifle. My flailing, uncoordinated punches don't do shit to her. She flies around them like nothing, and then lays me flat with a double hoofed bash to my chest.

I don't move, staring up at that infuriatingly blue sky. I try to catch my breath, as I'm panting heavily from all of the exertion. Rainbow's barely panting at all. She's ridiculously strong compared to me. Is there no way out of this?

"You done?" Rainbow asks simply, sitting back on her haunches, unamused. She wipes some of the debris from my earlier attempts off of her muzzle, being surprisingly patient with me.

"Yeah..." I groan miserably. I can't bring myself to say anything a for several minutes after that, even when my breath returns. It's starting to sink in. Rainbow's not going to let me leave until I tell her why I want to die. She's perfectly capable of enforcing that, too. Dammit, why was she even out here?

Rainbow waits for me to say something patiently. Well, I say patiently, but I can tell Rainbow is just hiding her impatience. She's fidgeting ever so slightly in place, and she even whistles a tune at one point, though how a pony can whistle is beyond me. She's a pegasus. I bet she's not used to staying in one place for very long.

"Why are you doing this?" I finally say after at least ten minutes of silence. Rainbow glances at me in confusion.

"What do you mean? Doing what?" Really, is she really going to act clueless?

"This. What does it matter to you if I live or die? Is it because I'm the last human?" I clarify for her. She actually has the gall to look offended at that.

"What? No, I don't care that you're human. Yeah, the books were good I guess, and it's interesting that one of you is around after thousands of years. But in the end, you're just another sentient species, like the minotaurs or zebras," Rainbow defends herself. I raise an eyebrow. Did she just say "minotaurs" with a straight face? "Look, it's not that big a deal to somepony like me. You're just like another pony to me. Who cares what you look like?"

"Then what is it? What would make you go out of your way to save my life, when I clearly didn't want you to?" I press further, eager to know exactly what it is she thinks she can get out of me. Because I'm not going to give it to her.

"Because you're not a bad guy. I mean, you're kind of a jerk at times, but that doesn't mean I would just let you die," Rainbow answers confidently, earning an incredulous splutter from me. "I knew you had problems, but I didn't think they'd be so bad you'd want to die."

"Are you crazy? I hate you. I hate you and every single pony here. How the hell can you assume that I'm 'not a bad guy.' I'm the worst kind!" I throw back at her, unconvinced. Out of all the expressions I expected, I did not expect her to look coy.

"Who are you trying to convince here? I know you're not all that bad. I saw you, you know," Rainbow questions mysteriously. I freeze. What is she talking about?

"What...?" I utter, but Rainbow keeps talking.

"With Derpy, I mean. You could have easily left her there, stuck to that mailbox. But you didn't. You helped her out without expecting anything in return," Rainbow clarifies. Shit, she saw my one moment of weakness. I open my mouth to protest. "Did you stop there? No, you helped her move that box all the way to her house for nothing."

"That proves nothing," I grunt, even though she's got me fair and square. I didn't have to help her...but the way she looked...she'd been like a kitten. How cruel would I have to be not to help her? And...I'm making excuses. She's right.

"It totally does. You're a nice guy, somewhere underneath all the jerk," Rainbow points out. I chuckle a bit at her lack of eloquence. "A guy that apparently needs a friend something fierce."

"There you go again. I don't need friends," I scoff derisively.

"So you say, but you want them, don't you? If you didn't, then I doubt you'd be throwing yourself off cliffs," Rainbow accuses me. How is it that these ponies can look right through me like this? First it was Twilight, then it was Celestia, and now Rainbow, the last pony I'd ever expect to help me. I'd pegged her as a worthless jock the moment I met her. "Don't lie to me. Don't you want somepony to relate to? Somepony to understand you, and have your back when you need it?"

"Sounds perfect, but I'd have to be a fool to believe that you ponies are more capable of that than my race was," I answer truthfully. Before Amaryllis, I'd told everyone that I didn't need any friends. Friendship caused pain, once they were finished using you and dropped you for their next victim. But secretly, I'd really wanted someone I could really relate to on a base level. I longed for it. I needed it. But it just wasn't happening, so I continued my life in a dull depression, days blending into one another into an endless cycle of disappointment.

Just when I'd discovered true friends in my brother and Amaryllis, I'd had them both taken away in the worst possible manner. They were dead now. So what was the point, if life itself is determined to keep me from having friends.

"It sounds to me like you're waiting for somepony to prove you wrong," Rainbow suggests, and that gives me pause. She...probably worded that better than I did in the past few pages. She's right. My entire life, I've been waiting for people to prove me wrong about how shitty the human race was. Two people did. And those two people were my friends.

"Yeah, I suppose I am," I admit softly, and Rainbow finally puts on a victorious grin. She flies over to me and wraps a hoof around my shoulders, causing me to tense up immediately.

"Well, look no further! I am your pony! I am the very Element of Loyalty, Seth, and I'm sticking by your side from here on out," Rainbow declared brazenly, and my jaw nearly comes unhinged. Just...what?

"What are you talking about? You can't just declare yourself my friend. Pinkie did, and that was annoying as fuck!" I snap at her, but she doesn't look deterred.

"Well, I just did. You probably won't consider me a friend until you know more about me, right?" Rainbow states flatly. I nod in confirmation. "And how in the hay are you going to do that if you keep running?"

I honestly don't have a response for that.

"I don't know what all of your issues are, but I've got your back. I only want one thing from you," Rainbow prompts me. My spirits fall like a rock. There's the damn catch. Of course you want something. Everyone wants something from me in a friendship. It's not fair! Why is everyone out to use me?! Just before I can give her a piece of my mind, Rainbow puts a hoof on my mouth, hushing me. "Just live. Live, and find happiness."

She removes her hoof, but I find my protests dying in my throat. That...has to be one of the most selfless things I've ever heard. No one in my entire life has ever said anything like that, to me or anyone. That line is something you'd hear out of a movie or book, because why should anyone care if anyone else lives or dies? They just turn their heads and drink their coffee, because it isn't their problem.

My composure slips, and a tear runs down my cheek. I blush furiously when I see that Rainbow can see it, but she's not laughing. There's one of the kindest smiles I've ever seen on her face.

A few moments later, she facehoofs, groaning slightly. "That has to be the sappiest thing I've ever said."

"A bit yeah," I agree casually. After a few moments of silence, Rainbow starts to chuckle. Heh, it is a bit funny when you look at it from the outside, isn't it? Soon enough, I start chuckling as well, and then we break out into full blown laughter. And goddamn it felt good. I haven't laughed like this since I got here, and I had forgotten just how much stress a good laugh can relieve.

You know what, maybe this isn't so bad. I'm still alive, and I may be forming my first friendship in Equestria.

Maybe...everything will be all right.

---

So that random guest who commented actually called what was going to happen in this chapter. Yeah, I had him attempt suicide. And honestly, it was a very difficult decision trying to decide who was going to save him. That also had me come up with several dumb ideas.

Pinkie flew up with her weird pedaling flying machine, grabbing Seth out of the air. "Yoink!"

Twilight captures Seth on the way down with her magic. "Are you throwing yourself off cliffs again? What have I told you about that?"

Applejack hurls her lasso and grabs Seth by the ankle with it, nearly killing him with the whiplash. "YEEHAW!"

Rarity catches him with her magic. "Honestly darling? Suicide must be done in style! Throwing oneself off cliffs is so last season."

Fluttershy rides in on a fucking eagle to catch him. "YOU. SHALL NOT. FALL!"

Welp, stupidity aside, now things start getting positive, I believe. Unless some other bullshit happens.

Applejack looks up as Rainbow Dash and I walk through the wooden arch into the main operation area of the barn. Big MacIntosh is there as well, and Apple Bloom is probably still at school. She looks surprised to see me, which makes sense, considering I'm several hours late for work. It's funny how attempted suicide can mess up your schedule. Wow...I'm so dark I can joke about my own death.

"That you, Seth?" Applejack calls to me. Of course, me being me, I jump at the first opportunity to make a sarcastic comment.

"No, I'm some other human from three thousand years ago. You tell me," I respond casually, walking right up to her and her brother. They look like they were in the middle of gathering apples, like I'd helped Applejack do my first day of work. I guess with winter on it's way, they need to gather as much as possible.

"Fair 'nuff I guess. Yer a bit later than usual," Applejack observes, while Rainbow snickers behind a hoof. That small sound causes the farmer to look up and spot her. "Rainbow Dash? What're you doin' here?"

"Just thought I'd chill with my new buddy Seth," Rainbow replies nonchalantly. Applejack looks at her with surprise, and then looks at me. I'm giving Rainbow an askance look myself. I'm not sure how I feel about her referring to me so familiarly, and in public. Yeah, I don't hate her as much anymore, but I'm still waiting to see if she can live up to her word before I actually consider her my friend.

"Uh...y'all sure 'bout that?" Applejack clearly isn't convinced either. Rainbow puts on this air of confidence as she swoops around me, resting a hoof on my shoulder.

"Heck yeah! The two of us are just so awesome, we had to be friends." Applejack and I both raise an eyebrow at that. Did she just compliment me while at the same time, stroking her own ego?

"Uh..." Applejack begins, but I cut her off with an impatient wave of my hand. At this point, time is money.

"It's fine. Just tell me where I can be most useful." Now that got a reaction from Applejack. She looks at me like I've grown a second head. She probably thinks I just admitted to Rainbow being my friend. She can think whatever she wants. I don't care. I just want her to shut up so I can work.

"Sure...I guess. Well, the snows are comin' soon, so we need ta git all them apples bucked," Applejack begins, getting over her disbelief. Huh, so that means more heavy lifting. "Jus' foller me. Ah'm headin' back out there in a bit."

I acknowledge her with a nod, standing with my arms crossed. It suddenly crosses my mind as the fingers of my right hand rub along my stiff shirt that I never paid Rarity a visit. She's probably got some of my clothes ready. Eh, I'll go see her after work.

Applejack gives a few directions to Big MacIntosh, and then we head in the direction of the field. I can see many more trees that need to be harvested. I also notice that Rainbow Dash is still following us. When she said she was going to stay by my side, I didn't think she meant literally.

"What, do you plan on helping us work?" I say, addressing the multicolored pony, who is currently doing lazy corkscrews above us.

"Hah, yeah right. I'm here for moral support," Rainbow declares. I roll my eyes. Moral support. Seriously? She doesn't even do that. While Applejack and I start to work, Rainbow zooms up to the cloud layer. Now get this, she fucking brings down a piece of cloud from up there and plops down on it like it's a couch or something. Yeah, I can't really believe it either. "I'll be napping up here. Let me know if anything cool happens."

"Dammit, Rainbow," I mutter to myself, moving the baskets to where Applejack directs me. I think I can skip describing this part of the work, since it's literally just the same thing I did the first day.

No, what I do feel like mentioning is what I overhear when Applejack and Rainbow think I'm unable to hear them.

I can hear them right now, faintly, talking about the snows or whatever that Applejack mentioned earlier. They're standing by the tree while I'm lifting the baskets filled to the brim with apples into the cart. It's only when I hear Applejack say my name that I really start to pay attention.

"What about him?" Rainbow answers, lowering her voice. I can still hear her though, if I listen carefully.

"Weren't y'all the one that kept callin' him a jerk? What changed?" Applejack asks curiously. Peeking back, I can see Rainbow looking slightly sheepish.

"I...may have been wrong about him," she admits haltingly. Applejack looks downright shocked at that response.

"What? That ain't like you. Don't it take y'all much longer ta change yer opinion o' somepony?" Applejack follows up, stepping closer to Rainbow.

"Well...things changed. I'd tell you more, but I doubt he'd like it if I spilled the beans. You know how it is," Rainbow explains, shrugging.

Okay, now I'm starting to respect her.

Understanding dawns on Applejack's face. "Oh. Yeah, okay. Ah'd be lyin' if ah said ah didn't wanna know more, but ah won't pry."

Rainbow opens her mouth to say something, but then she spots me watching them. My expression is unreadable as I watch her face turn from surprise to guilt in less than a second. Applejack soon notices as well, and she immediately approaches me. "Ahright, ah think this cart's ready ta go back," she says, regarding me uncertainly. I think she's wondering if I overheard them.

Rainbow approaches me on her cloud as I follow Applejack, while she's pulling the cart back. "So...how much did you hear?" she asks me tentatively. I shrug nonchalantly.

"All of it," is my uncaring response. It's not really that big of a deal. I've had worse things said behind my back before.

"Oh...uh...yeah. So...I didn't tell her." It's pretty easy to tell that Rainbow has no idea how to approach me about something like this.

"So I noticed. I appreciate it," I tell her, my voice monotone. Rainbow sports a grin at my relatively positive response, and then does a flip.

"See? I told you I got your back!" she proclaims, causing me to roll my eyes again. I think she's trying too hard at this point. Give up. It's going to take more than that to convince me you're worth my time. For all I know, she could have known I was listening, and that's why she didn't say anything. That way she can garner good will from me. Too bad, that won't work on me.

---

Work continues until the sun starts to set, and nothing really notable happens. Rainbow and Applejack talk to one another idly as we work, and occasionally I chime in if I'm addressed, though I never utter more than a few syllables per response.

I did manage to learn a few things from listening. For example, the "snows" refers to the first official day of winter, when the pegasi gather the clouds and prompt snowfall. Though why these ponies choose to bring winter when it's apparently optional is beyond me. You have magic. Refresh the soil through that, or is there some rule saying you can't? This fucking world makes no sense.

Maybe I can get warm temperatures around Vinyl's place, since the head of the weather team has declared herself my friend. Actually, scratch that. That makes me a hypocrite, now that I think about it. I hate that people only want to be friendly so they can get something, and now I just considered doing the same. Glad I caught myself.

I'm now standing in Applejack's living room, resting against the wall with Rainbow next to me. Applejack is upstairs, grabbing my money. I think I have four bits still with me, and I worked about four hours, so that'll put me at eight. My damn suicide attempt cut into my revenue. Go figure.

"So where are ya staying?" Rainbow asks me suddenly, nudging me. Big MacIntosh, who is also in the room with us, watches me for a response as well.

"What does it matter?" I ask irritably, inspecting a small cut on my hand for splinters. Damn those baskets.

"So I can drop by whenever I want, of course," Rainbow answers as if it's the most obvious thing ever. Okay, already I don't like what I'm hearing.

"Sorry, but I'm not saying. There's times when I just want to be alone, and that won't happen if everypony knows where I am," I tell her flatly. Suddenly I realize something. "I just said 'everypony,' didn't I?"

"Eeyup," Big MacIntosh chimes in helpfully. I groan and let my face fall into my hands.

"Fuck, this place is affecting me. How long have I been saying it?"

"For a while now," Rainbow points out, and then she laughs as I groan again. I had sworn to myself that I'd never say that fucking word, or any variations of it, and I'm failing at it. It's like, subconscious at this point. I'm sure there's some psychological explanation for this, but I barely passed that class, so I don't fucking know. "But seriously, I know. I'm not going to be like Pinkie and bother you till you come hang, so what's the harm?"

"The answer's still no. It's bad enough that Applejack and Twilight know where I live," I retort, frustrating the pegasus further.

"What about if I tell you where I live? You know, even trade and all that?" Rainbow persists.

"Let me guess, on a cloud," I joke sarcastically, but to my surprise, Rainbow looks amazed.

"Wow, how'd you know?!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I ask rhetorically, throwing my arms up in the air. That had totally just been a joke making fun of the whole "pegasus move clouds" thing, but I'm actually right? It's like this life is trying to remind me that I live in a fucked up world.

"Look, Seth, I respect that you like having alone time. I do too. Heck yes, I love flying around with nopony else nearby." Rainbow finally gets serious, looking into my eyes. "But I promise, I'll respect that. It's what friends do."

"Friends, huh," I repeat, still unconvinced. But...now that I remember, I did tell Celestia I'd give these ponies a chance. "Fine. I'm living with Vinyl Scratch right now."

"Whoa, really? She's really cool. I bet you'll like her," Rainbow assures me, grinning. Just then Applejack walks down the stairs with my money in her mouth. She cranes her head back and sets the sack on her back.

"Yep, she's a decent sort. Ah'm glad ya took her offer, Seth," she says, joining the two of us. I give her a smoldering glare, disliking how she butted into our conversation. I'd call her out on it, but she's got my money.

"Whatever. Money?" I snap. Applejack seems disappointed at my cold treatment towards her. With a sigh, she hoofs over the sack to me. I take it and glance inside, and then I add my current funds to the new sack, resulting in a total of eight bits. That leaves me two bits for food tonight. Oh wait, I have a gig with Vinyl tonight, don't I? So I can save my money and gorge myself on free food.

"There ya go. Wanna stay fer dinner?" Applejack asks. Wait really? Again? How many times is she going to ask me that? My answer is never going to change, so please stop trying.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with no," is my response. Just like always, Applejack nods her head understandingly.

"Okay," Applejack responds, as always. I shake my head in confusion, and then make for the door.

"Later, AJ!" Rainbow calls back to her friend, following me out the door, which I shut behind me.

I don't get very far before I run into Apple Bloom and her friends, on their way back from school. Their reactions upon seeing us vary.

"Seth!" Apple Bloom exclaims happily, galloping to me excitedly.

"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo also exclaims, zooming to my companion at a similar speed. Sweetie Belle stays back, as she notes my presence. She and Scootaloo are the only ones that treat me as they should. It's Apple Bloom that confounds me.

I kneel down to greet Apple Bloom as she reaches me. By squatting all the way down, I can get on her level. She's only about two feet tall, really.

"Hey," I respond awkwardly. Ever since I cheered her up before, Apple Bloom has been acting really friendly with me. Is that just childlike...well I guess I should say foal-like naivete? Or does she, like Rainbow Dash, believe that I'm somehow a decent individual?

Apple Bloom takes me off guard by nuzzling my cheek affectionately. I nearly overbalance and fall backwards, but I push forward to keep myself upright. However, that means I unintentionally lean into Apple Bloom's nuzzle. She gasps softly, thinking I'm actually reciprocating her gesture. Following this is a happy..."squee," I guess, and the nuzzling intensifies.

Well, it wasn't my attention to reciprocate, but I guess there's no real harm if she likes it that much. When she pulls back from me, Apple Bloom is practically beaming. "How're ya doin' today?" she asks me eagerly. You know, I'm not used to hearing that question. Nobody usually gives a fuck how my day is going.

"Well, it's been one roller coaster of a day, that's for sure," I answer cryptically. There's no way I'm telling a little filly what went down today, but I won't lie to her at least.

"A what kinda day, now?" Apple Bloom gazes at me, perplexed. I stare blankly back. Do ponies not have theme parks? How do they not know what a roller coaster is?

"Ponies don't have roller coasters?" A shake of the filly's head confirms my suspicions. Wow, it sucks to be them. "Basically, humans have a cart that runs on a metal track that goes up and down hills for entertainment purposes."

"So yer day went up n' down hills?" Apple Bloom questions me, not understanding at all.

"Metaphorically speaking, yes." The filly still looks confused, so she turns to Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle, what does 'metaforkally' mean?" Apple Bloom inquires, butchering the pronunciation horribly to the point where I can't help but snicker under my breath.

"Metaphorically," Sweetie Belle corrects her, which leads me to believe she may be the most academically intelligent one of the three. Her next words compound that assumption. "It means he's making a metaphor, a figure of speech comparing two unrelated objects."

"Ah think ah get it...yer day had its ups n' downs?" Apple Bloom tries once more, looking back at me.

"Exactly," I affirm. Damn, we just wasted about a minute on a simple greeting. Then again, I am talking to a filly.

Apple Bloom presses up against my side, turning so that her face is next to mine. "Ah'm sorry yer day had it's downs," she expresses. I assume this whole physical affection thing she's got going on is her attempt to reassure me. These foals. They really are like human children, except ponies. Also, Apple Bloom is a remarkable filly. Girls her age back in my era were spoiled and bratty, growing up to become trash not worth anyone's time. There's really no comparison between their behavior and Apple Bloom's. She's a lot more mature than I'd expect.

Then the filly brightens up. "Ah know! You should come play with us at our clubhouse!" she suggests excitedly. My eyebrow shoots up. Are you kidding me?

"Uh...Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle interjects hesitantly. I guess I'm not the only one who's not altogether thrilled with this idea. Okay, so I don't mind talking to Apple Bloom. I have to draw the line at playing with fillies. No fucking way.

"Hey, you can't just invite that thing into our clubhouse!" Scootaloo snaps, breaking away from her conversation with Rainbow, who immediately looks at me in alarm as I rise back to my full height.

"But Scootaloo," Apple Bloom protests, but I beat her to it.

"This 'thing' has a name, you brat," I shoot back at Scootaloo, my eyes narrowed. "I suggest you watch your tone with me."

"Or what? You gonna threaten me like you did Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo counters. Huh, that's one brave little filly.

"H-hey, cool it, you two!" Rainbow chooses now to get between us. My hand had been reaching for my rifle subconsciously, but when I see Rainbow, my hand falls away. "Scoots, you should be more willing to give him a chance."

"But...Rainbow Dash, he..." Scootaloo starts, pointing a hoof at me, even as I smirk in victory.

"Seth, you shouldn't be so quick to yell at a filly," Rainbow then says to me. My eyes widen in shock.

"Did you just fucking scold me?" I asked in disbelief. Rainbow catches my gaze and holds it, her stern expression meeting my incredulous one.

"She's a filly, Seth. You can't hold her to the standards you do everypony else," Rainbow reminds me.

"I most certainly can," I mutter under my breath, turning away. Thankfully, Rainbow doesn't hear me, so she thinks I've backed down.

"He's just a bully, like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon," Scootaloo huffs, though she too backs down. Think whatever you want, brat. But if you get in my way, I'll make sure you regret it.

"I'm leaving now. I have shit to do," I declare, and then I start to walk down the path that leads back into Ponyville. You know, a part of me dies every time I write this damn town's name.

"But...don't ya wanna come play?" Apple Bloom asks me pleadingly, following me for the first few steps.

"Of course not. Besides, even if I did, clearly I'm not welcome," I respond spitefully, not even slowing down. Apple Bloom is very fast, though, enough to trot next to me as I walk.

"Please?" Now, Apple Bloom pulls the worst trick something like her can possibly pull. She looks up at me with the most adorable expression I've ever seen. She's got those damn puppy dog eyes, and her lower lip is just barely poking out. No...I have...to resist...fucking...goddammit.

"Fine, but not today," I relent with a heavy sigh. "I really do have things to do today. I need to drop by Rarity's and get some clothes, and then I have a gig with Vinyl. I'll come grab you tomorrow or something."

"Yay! Thank you!" Apple Bloom cries happily, and then she responds by throwing herself at me. Caught by surprise, I reflexively reach out my arms, and she falls into them. Her momentum causes me to fall back on my ass with a very happy filly in my arms.

"All right, all right," I say, chuckling a bit. She wiggles in my arms and nuzzles my chest adorably. She's really so innocent. I'm almost envious of her. "I gotta get moving, though."

Apple Bloom nods and gets off of me, allowing me to stand back up and dust myself off. "Ah'll see ya tomorrow then!" The filly smiles widely, and then she gallops back to her friends.

Rainbow is talking to Scootaloo about something back at the barn. I can't hear them, but Scootaloo doesn't look happy. I wonder what they're talking about.

I don't plan on waiting. Rainbow can catch up later if she wants. Or not. I don't really care. I just know I'm not escaping this land of magical ponies so easily.

Just like the other day, I decide to take the quicker path through the park to Rarity's place. There's no sign of Lyra anywhere, so it's safe to pass through the fountain clearing.

There are some other ponies in this area, unlike the last time I was here. To my disgust, two of the ponies here are kissing. Gross! Can you not do that inside or something? Talk about rude. Suddenly, I realize that the two overly loving ponies are both female. I'm sorry what? I'M SORRY WHAT?!

Yeah, humans are overly homophobic. Chances are, if something like this happened at my college, it would be a scandal, and the two offenders would probably be suspended. If not that, then they would be avoided and ridiculed by the other students until the rumors died away. Knowing that, I almost cry out in shock. Are homosexual relationships allowed here? Because it doesn't look like the other pony that is here really cares that much.

I...guess I'll ask Rarity or something. I don't want to stare, so I keep moving. That's a lot to take in.

Just as I approach the hill that leads up to Rarity's, I spot something that makes me freeze dead in my tracks. So remember what I said about Lyra not being here? Life has once again decided to go the path of "let's screw this Seth guy," because now she's standing right at the foot of the hill, her lyre hovering in the air just in front of her.

It doesn't take her long to spot me. Lyra gives me a smile and a wave, almost as if she believes that attempting to be nice will get me to forget that she wants me to have sex with her. "Hey there, Seth. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"No, no, no, a million times no," I express firmly, much to her despair. I turn around, shaking my head in annoyance. "Oh my god, no."

"Come on, it'll only take a moment!" Lyra begs, following behind me, back towards the fountain.

"Hey! How about no?" I snap back at her, completely uninterested in anything this disgusting pony has to say.

"Please! I'm sorry!" She continues to follow behind me, drawing the attention of the other ponies in the fountain area as we walk into it. Upon ignoring me, Lyra's face turns from sorrow to desperation.

Suddenly I can't move. No matter how much I strain my primary motor muscles, they just won't move. A quick glance over my body confirms that I'm encased in Lyra's mint green magic. "That's just not fucking fair."

"I'm really sorry, but you just won't listen any other way," Lyra says apologetically, though it does little to calm my rising anger. What the hell is she planning to do, now that I can't move?

"We're in the middle of the fountain plaza! Do you really want to do this here?!" I yell at her, referring to the several ponies that are in the area as well, who are all looking at the scene we're causing, nonplussed.

"No, you're right. We'll move elsewhere," Lyra admits, and then I'm moving. I'm not kidding. Apparently not only can unicorns freeze me in place with their magic, they can also move me, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

"Put me the fuck down!" I scream at her. I'm not comfortable at all like this. She can do whatever she wants to me now. Hell, any unicorn can! What the hell does Lyra want with me anyway?

My blood runs cold as my thoughts run over her possible, more darker motives. How serious is she about fucking me? Am I going to end up raped in an alley somewhere? I swear to god, I'll fucking tear this pony limb from limb.

Unlike what I was expecting, Lyra puts me down on the bridge that spans the river close to Sweet Apple Acres. She releases me from her magic, and honestly I'm tempted to book it away from her. I have no idea what she's planning, but that magic worries me. I should ask Twilight if I can counter it somehow.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't bash your damn head in and run," I growl at Lyra viciously, causing her to recoil back.

"I'm just trying to apologize to you! I'm sorry I had to bring you here forcefully, but you just wouldn't give me a chance!" Lyra protests. Holy shit, she's actually crying.

"I have no interest in..." I begin, but Lyra shocks me yet again.

"JUST BE QUIET AND LISTEN!" she yells at me tearfully. I'm so surprised I just stop talking. She never really seemed like the kind of pony to be so assertive, but first impressions are never reliable, I guess. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that what I said in the plaza before would make you never want to talk to me again. Please, can we forget it ever happened?"

"Sorry, but no. I can't look at you anymore without thinking about it. You're just plain fucked up, being interested in a different species," I respond bluntly. Lyra looks crushed. "Especially me. There's nothing about me worth that kind of interest."

"But...it's not that uncommon! Relationships between consenting adults of two different species are accepted in Equestria!" Lyra argues. That gets me to pause. What? Seriously? Nopony cares if one of them is fucking a minotaur or something? How is that possible? Back in my era, the very idea of interspecies relationships was total taboo. Which probably had something to do with the fact that there weren't any other sentient species. However, even in fiction it was looked down on. There are the crazies of course that draw twisted shit on the internet, but those are widely considered to be worthless scum, an opinion I agree with. Hell, if I'd have considered fucking a pony in my time, I'd have been ostracized in a flash.

"Okay...let's assume I believe that," I say slowly. Suddenly something hits me. "Wait, so you were interested?"

Lyra's response is to blush and look at the ground. Un-fucking-believable.

"Why?!" I demand, throwing up my hands. Lyra is silent for a few moments as she tries to compose herself.

"Well...you're...not that bad to look at. I especially like your mane," Lyra stammers out, her blush intensifying. I'm struck speechless by her compliments, while a hand subconsciously reaches up and runs through my hair.

Everyone has just insulted my appearance, for as long as I can remember. Of course, my mother tells me I'm handsome, but she's biased. It's the same as one obese mother telling her obese son he's handsome. No, I'm used to people telling me I look like a damn girl, with how smooth and rounded my face is, and how my hair is always long and glossy. The insults weren't that bad in college, but the further back in my life you go, the worse it gets. No girl would look at me, because the guys who hated me would just tell everyone I was gay. What with the way I looked, it wasn't that hard for someone to look at me and say, "Yeah, I can believe that." Once a rumor like that takes root, you don't get away from it.

"That's bullshit. You're lying to me, right?" I stammer. Lyra shakes her head.

"No, I'm serious. I bet the human mares were all over you," she affirms. My expression turns darker at that. I just got through thinking about that.

"Yeah right. No girl's ever looked at me twice," I snap irritably. Now Lyra looks shocked.

"But, why not? I don't understand. I'm not sure what human mares find appealing, but you're...striking," Lyra presses. The more she compliments me, the more she blushes. Ugh, she totally wants me. This is...if she was unable to freeze me in place whenever she wanted, I would just fucking leave.

"Hell if I know. Now, back to the original subject," I reply. Lyra nods shyly. "I appreciate the compliments, but I'm not interested. It doesn't matter how accepting you are. I'm just not attracted to ponies."

Lyra nods, taking it a lot better than I expected. "Okay. It's probably better you tell me now. I mean, I didn't want anything right then and there, of course," she explains with a giggle. "I was just trying to see if you were the kind of stallion I'd enjoy dating."

"So let me get this straight. You weren't soliciting me for sex, but just casual flirting to see if there was mutual interest?" I say, rewording her explanation to see if I properly understood.

"That's right. I'm not that easy," Lyra agrees, giving me a cheeky grin. I grunt and cross my arms, thinking. I'm not going to lie, I still find the very idea of a pony hitting on me absolutely deplorable, but at least now I know that she wasn't trying to fuck me right after she just met me. I despise women like that, and that extends to mares.

"All right. As long as you remember that I'm not interested, I guess I can overlook it this time," I relent. Lyra's expression becomes radiantly happy, and she moves forward and hugs my waist.

"Oh, thank Celestia. I thought I'd ruined our friendship because I was being a little too forward," Lyra sighs, her head resting against my stomach. Goddamn, are all these ponies so damn huggy? Not to mention, I don't recall considering you a friend in the first place. I'd call her out on that, but I just got through one of her tearful rampages. If she's anything like Rainbow, if I tell her that I'm not her friend, she'll probably hold me here until I explain why. I'm going to avoid that trap.

"Whatever. Can you get off me now so I can go to Rarity's?" I request, fidgeting uncomfortably. Lyra giggles and backs off, her front hooves planting back on the ground with a soft clop.

"Sorry. Will I see you at Vinyl's gig tonight?" she inquires hopefully. Shit...she's going to be there. It's probably better that we talked things out now, because it would have been super awkward if we'd tried to do it at the bar.

"Yeah. I'm helping her set up," is my terse response.

"All right! I'll see you then," Lyra calls after me while I'm walking up the hill to the Carousel Boutique. I don't reply, feeling that there's nothing more to say.

That could have gone much worse. No, the only thing that bothers me is how all these ponies think it's okay to force themselves on me. Whether it's Rainbow with her insane speed, or Lyra with her magic, I just can't get any time to myself. I can't wait until I get enough money for my own place. I'll never go outside again once I get to that point.

A few knocks on the door alerts the inhabitant of my presence. The door swings open and Rarity is revealed. She puts on a small smile when she sees me. "Oh! Do come in, darling, I have several outfits ready for you to try," she addresses me eagerly. I really wish she'd stop calling me that.

Following her inside, the first thing I notice is a human mannequin standing in the center of the room. Huh, I guess she made that after taking my measurements. There's an outfit on it right now.

"I must say, I had expected you earlier," Rarity hums while she rummages through one of the closed off areas behind curtains.

"The princesses had other ideas," I remark, staring at the mannequin. It's sporting a dark violet, long sleeved shirt, with white strips around the collar and cuffs. Violet's not a color I usually wear, but at least it's a darker shade that I can tolerate. As for the pants...there is a genuine set of blue jeans there, with pockets and everything. Wow, that's just impressive.

"Really? The princesses came to visit you?" Rarity stops what she's doing for a moment to look over her shoulders at me. When I nod, she gives a small gasp. "Oh, I envy you the pleasure. Aren't they just divine?"

"They're something else," I agree. With the two of them in charge, I can see how this place is as peaceful as it is. One of them trusts no one, and the other appears to be caring and benevolent. The combination of those two traits is a force to be reckoned with. "By the way, how the hell did you manage to replicate my jeans to such perfect detail?"

"Oh, you like them? I was worried you wouldn't." Rarity practically glows at my question. "It was mostly trial and error. You have no idea how many tries it took me before I could get the details just right."

"So you reconstructed these from memory?" I query. Hell, I'm actually kind of impressed. She's only seen them a few times, and she made a perfect set just by looking at the shitty pair I'm wearing now?

"That's correct! Now, would you do me a favor and change into them?" Rarity envelops the outfit on the mannequin with her magic and levitates the clothing over to me, folding each individual article at the same time.

"Gladly. Where can I get some privacy?" I ask, allowing Rarity to place the folded up clothes into my arms.

"Hmm, there's a bathroom upstairs. Why don't you shower while you're at it? No offense, but you smell of sweat," Rarity suggests, wrinkling her nose. I shrug uncaringly.

"Whatever. I'll be back down in a bit," I tell her. Remembering where the stairs are from my last visit, I move through the door at the back. The stairs spiral upwards steeply to save space, but they're built for ponies, so I can walk up several steps at once.

I don't know what room is the bathroom, so I just check every single door until I find it. I end up looking into several rooms, one of which looks like it might be Sweetie Belle's room, and another that is extravagant enough to be Rarity's. There's another staircase that leads up, but the bathroom is the door just before that. I step inside, and immediately start ogling the place.

Wow, this place is nice. Compared to Vinyl's, Rarity's shower is twice its size, and enclosed by gorgeous mottled glass. There's also a tub set into the ground, but that I don't care about. The toilet is tucked into the back right corner of the room. I feel like I don't need to say it, but everything is immaculately clean.

I turn on the shower, adjusting the temperature until it's just slightly past the midpoint. That way it'll be warm, but not too hot. My mother once told me that overly hot water irritates the skin and damages the hair, causing drier skin and split ends. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I love my fucking hair. Learning that caused me to say "screw that," to hot showers forever.

Stripping my clothes and rifle away, I heave a sigh of relief. These fucking clothes have gotten so rugged and stiff that they've caused red patches on my skin where they rub against me on a daily basis. Lastly, I set the clothes Rarity made onto the vanity before I finally step into the shower.

Oh my god, the pressure is perfect. Holy shit, is that a place to sit down? In a shower? Goddamn, this is luxurious. Just how much money does she make?

Why am I even describing myself taking a shower? Who knows. I don't make sense to myself either. Actually, that's a lie. I'm describing it because this is when I finally start to feel like me again.

I finish washing myself quickly, resisting the temptation to take a twenty minute nap in there. Once again, I forgo using any shampoo, because I still don't trust pony hair products. This is going to take a toll on my hair, but there's really nothing I can do about it.

Refreshed, I step out of the shower and dry off with a purple fluffy towel. Next, I unfold Rarity's jeans, noticing a separate garment placed inside of it. Are those...boxers? Yes they are, and oh my god they feel soft. What are these made of, satin?

I slip them on, enjoying it probably more than I should. As dumb as it sounds, it feels like I'm wearing a damn cloud. The jeans go next, and surprisingly they're a damn good pair. They aren't too tight, thankfully, but neither are they baggy. Then comes the long sleeved shirt. It feels really soft against my skin. It's like Rarity went all out for this stuff. Is it really all right for me to take this stuff? Suddenly I start doubting Rarity's goodwill. Is making clothes for a human really a fair trade for clothes of this quality?

After putting on the socks she provided me, I gather up my old clothes and rifle and head back down the stairs.

Interestingly enough, there's another pony in the front room, talking to Rarity in a very soft, dulcet voice. Her fur is buttery yellow, and her mane is a soft pink, and falls over the side of her face that is directed towards me, so I can't really see what she looks like. She's a pegasus too, if those wings are anything to go by. They don't look as muscular as Rainbow's though, but I suppose that's to be expected. Lastly, that tattoo on her ass is of three pink butterflies. What kind of talent does that indicate?

"Are you sure it won't be too much trouble?" the pegasus asks softly in a voice so damn sweet I feel like it could give someone diabetes.

"Of course, darling! Moving the appointments won't be that hard at all," Rarity assures the other pony with an honest smile. "We can probably do it earlier, as well. How does tomorrow sound?"

"Tomorrow? Oh, that's..Friday. I can do that," the pegasus replies. She opens her mouth to say something else, but I grow bored of listening, so I walk into the room.

"Make plans later. I got places to be," I declare impertinently, striding up to the two of them. The moment the pegasus sees me, she lets out a loud "eep!" and then practically disappears, dashing into the nearest curtained off area. I gaze after her, perplexed. "Aaand she's gone."

"Oh, you'll have to forgive her. She's very shy around new ponies, or human in your case," Rarity explains sheepishly. Glancing back at the curtains, I can see the pegasus watching me shyly from behind the curtains.

"Eh, she can stay there for all I care. I didn't come here to socialize," I grunt, turning away from the shy pony. Rarity gives me a stern look.

"Now, darling, at least introduce yourself. It's only polite," she admonishes me lightly. I raise an eyebrow.

"Polite? Excuse me, miss prissy, have you met me?" I remark, but Rarity's expression doesn't change, despite the not so nice nickname I gave her. "Ugh, fine."

Relenting with bad grace, I face the curtain again, doing my best to put on an approachable expression. Except it doesn't work. The most I manage is a neutral look. "'Sup? I'm Seth Rogers," I say as casually as possible. The pegasus behind the curtain shrinks back at my voice, but eventually takes a shaking step forward.

"Um...I'm...Fluttershy," the pegasus returns, speaking so softly that I can barely hear her.

"I'm sorry, what? I couldn't quite hear you?" I respond, keeping my expression neutral. Fluttershy gulps and tries again.

"I...I'm...F-Fluttershy," she repeats, her voice slightly stronger. Oh my god, this world and its obvious names. Really? She has a butterfly tattoo on her ass and she's shy, so she's Fluttershy.

"Sweet. Nice to meet you and shit. Okay, can we get on with it now?" I say quickly, turning back to Rarity. She still looks disapproving, but she relents since I technically did what she wanted.

"I suppose. Fluttershy, I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" Rarity says to the shy pony, who nods and speeds out the door. "I really wish you'd used a little more tact, darling."

"Cry me a river," I scoff, earning another look of disapproval from her. That look soon changes to one of curiosity, and she steps closer to me. "What are you doing?"

"Just looking at your hair, darling. I can't help but notice that it looks a tad...greasy," she points out, causing me to seethe in anger. Don't you fucking hate on my hair, you son of a bitch.

"That's because I don't know how pony shampoo will affect me. Can you drop it now?" I snap at her, but she doesn't seem to have heard me.

Rarity levitates a stool over to her, which she then hops on. Then, she sticks a hoof into my hair, feeling it. What even the...yeah no. I push her hoof away. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Hm, I don't think you have anything to worry about, dear. It seems similar in composition to our manes, so they shouldn't adversely affect you," Rarity reassures me. Then her eyes light up. "Oh! You should come to the spa tomorrow with Fluttershy and I! I'm certain they'll help style your hair for you."

"Yeah, that's not happening. I barely have enough money to feed myself, much less go to a damn spa," I tell her flatly.

"Oh please, it's not that expensive. It's just about fourteen bits a visit," Rarity disagrees, waving a hoof at me.

"I have eight bits to my name," I deadpan. Rarity's lips form a small "o." She then attempts to say something else, but I already know what it's going to be. "And no, you're not paying for me, so don't even suggest it."

"Honestly, darling, you really must learn that it's all right to accept a favor every once in a while," Rarity scolds me, but I'm not having any of it.

"And you need to learn to mind your own damn business. Now, didn't you have more outfits for me to try?" I point out. Rarity huffs, but at the mention of her other outfits, she gets a look of such joy, that one thought crosses my mind.

I immediately regret this decision.

---

So, lots of things happen in this chapter. Most importantly, Seth finally meets Fluttershy, the last, but certainly not the least of the mane 6. Of course, it wasn't very long, because I had to keep them in character.

Honestly, I almost decided to give up this story, what with all the hate I seem to be getting for it. Thankfully, I chose to keep going, thanks to people like Deadman117, who left me such a nice review that I was inspired to finish this chapter. Thanks, dude, I really appreciate it.

"Before we get started, where did you put your old clothes, darling?" Rarity asks me with a peculiar edge in her voice. I blink. That's the kind of tone my mother would use if she was about to uncover me doing something wrong.

"Uh...I threw them over by the stage," I tell her, indicating the pitiful looking pile of torn up clothes. A demonic gleam appears in her eyes and she lifts up the clothes with her magic. She marches across the room towards a door tucked behind the stage. "What exactly do you plan on doing with them?"

"I'm going to dispose of them. Such garments are not fit even for the likes of diamond dogs." I don't know what a diamond dog is, but with the way her nose is up in the air, I assume they aren't anything special. Hang on a moment, in those pants is my...

"Rarity, wait!" I call out in alarm as she passes through the door. I curse and follow her through the door and into a large kitchen. What the hell, is she going to burn them?

Rarity is standing in front of her oven, which is open and looks to be already heating up. Yep, she plans on burning them. "Whatever is the matter, darling? Surely you aren't that attached to these." She holds up the clothes.

"Not the clothes. It's what's in them. Give me the pants," I demand, stretching out my hand. Bemused, Rarity sends the torn remnants of my old jeans over to me with her magic. The rough cloth chafes painfully against my skin as I jam my hand in to the front pocket. My fingers feel the rough protective covering that's wrapped around my phone, which makes it easier for me to grasp and pull it out.

"What is that device?" Rarity questions me, watching as I pocket my phone in my new pants. Huh, if someone told me a month ago that I'd be asked by a ridiculous primped up pony to explain a smart phone to them, I'd probably have punched the fucker in the face.

"I don't feel like explaining it. It's as alien to you as magic is to me," I reply, disappointing her. "It's a useless brick now anyway, without electricity to power it."

"It needs electricity to work?" Rarity looks thoughtful, almost as if she's rolling an idea around in that head of hers. After I confirm with a nod, she smiles. "Why, you should go to Canterlot. Many ponies there have electricity of some kind."

"That's not the point. You can't just shoot electricity into this thing. You'll blow the circuits," I explain irritably.

"Perhaps not, but I'm sure somepony there will have the skills necessary to help you," Rarity insists. I can't really think of anything to say to that, so I just grunt instead. "Back to the matter at hand. Is there anything else of value in these pants?"

There's still my wallet and keys in there. I doubt I'll ever need them again, since my car and dorm are currently buried under several tons of earth, and the cash I have in there is useless. Ah, fuck it, I'd regret it if I let them burn.

After fishing them out, I give Rarity the go ahead. A devilish smirk appears on her face, and then she jams my old clothes into the oven and shuts the door. "And now, I have rid the world of fashion's worst crime," Rarity proclaims, looking entirely too satisfied with herself. I can't help but rub my forehead in exasperation. None of these ponies are anything close to normal.

When I look back up, I see that Rarity is looking at me...no, she's actually looking at my hair intently. "What?" I demand, taking a tentative step back.

"Why don't we do something about that mane of yours, darling?" Rarity suggests, following me. "After all, it's your most defining feature. It would be a tragedy if we let it deteriorate."

What. She wants to...it's my...what the fuck? "Absolutely not. Nopony touches my hair. Ever," I vow. "Besides, I don't even want to know what somepony like you would do to it."

"What do you mean, 'somepony like me?'" Rarity accuses, giving an offended scoff. "You don't think I keep my mane styled so fabulously merely through luck, do you?"

"Forgive me for not paying attention to the aesthetics of ponies," I say sarcastically, earning an exasperated expression from her.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Besides, it would be a crime against fashion not to let such a wonderful mane shine!" Rarity continues. Okay, now I feel gay. Yeah, I enjoy the fact that on a good day, my hair shines, but when she says it, it sounds really dumb.

"What if your damn hair products fuck up my hair?" I snap at her.

"Come now, I doubt it'll end up looking worse than a greasy mane. If you'll follow me?" What's up with this mare? It's like she's not listening to anything I have to say..

I watch her walk through the kitchen door and back into the hallway, but I hesitate. I won't lie, I'd kill to have my hair looking normal again, since it's been almost a week since it's had a proper wash. There's so much build up in my hair that it practically leaves residue on my hands whenever I touch it. That's fucking disgusting. Rarity was right about one thing. I did consider my hair my most defining physical characteristic. I'm surprised she picked up on that.

But I'm not sure I trust her to do it. Even back in my era, there was only one barber that I ever allowed to touch my hair, and that was only because she'd been doing it since I was born. Every other barber that got their hands on it fucked it up, and resulted in no payment from me.

"Come along now, Seth!" Rarity calls from the hallway. Goddammit...I guess she's right. It can't get much worse than it is right now.

Following her, I end up in a room that definitely looks like a hair salon. It's constructed a bit differently than the ones I've seen, because everything there is more suited for pony anatomy. Like, the vanities don't have that slot for the neck, because ponies can just fucking stick their heads in. The hair driers are also structured differently. Like, I can't even describe how the handles look, since they're designed to be held by hooves. I don't even.

Rarity once again shows off her creativity, as she's put together a makeshift chair for me to lie back on using a variety of cushions and other furniture. It looks like it's designed to seat me comfortably, while my head and hair is left to hang in one of the vanities. When she hears me walk in, she looks up and then gestures at the chair. "Wonderful! Do take a seat, darling. This shouldn't take but a few moments."

"What exactly are you going to do, anyway?" I inquire, but I do lay back on the chair. It's not that comfortable, since there's a bulge just under my back that's bugging me. Rarity's eyes glow at my question.

"Oh, I'm so glad you asked! First and foremost, I plan on washing your mane thoroughly to get rid of all that build up. Then I'll add in conditioner to add that shine back to it," Rarity describes for me, already gathering the materials she plans on using. Well, she sounds like she knows what she's doing. "Then I have a few stylistic choices in mind. Like, your mane is pretty long, so there..."

"Yeah no. I like it the way it is. Just clean it for me," I cut across her. Rarity looks put out.

"Well, you could do so much more with it...but I suppose it is your decision," she expresses hopefully, but when I say nothing else, she sighs. "All right. Lie still then, darling."

Resting my head back, I shut my eyes, like I always do whenever I'm getting my hair tended to. I shudder involuntarily when a jet of water strikes the back of my head. It's lukewarm water, so after the initial shock, it actually starts feeling relaxing as Rarity wets down the entirety of my hair.

The next sensations I feel are odd, to say the least. For example, I actually find out what a hoof feels like against my skin as she rubs some shampoo or whatever into my hair. It doesn't feel as hard as I expected. You know, from seeing horses and ponies in my era, those hooves look rough, but Rarity's actually feels somewhat soft. Despite that, I can still feel a bit of firmness in them. Also, the weirdest thing was I can feel portions of her hooves moving around to massage the shampoo into my very roots. How the hell does that work? Is that how they hold things with hooves? Man, evolution is fucked up.

"You know, you're not bad to look at. I think that given enough time, you'll make some lucky mare or stallion very happy," Rarity mentions off hand to me, and my eyes shoot open in surprise. Okay, what? Lyra's crazy, but now Rarity is saying it?

"Not you too," I groan, resisting the temptation to rub my forehead. On the bright side, she said it in such a way that it showed no romantic interest at all. Basically it was just a compliment. If Rarity had been a human girl and I had been interested, I probably would be raging because something like that screamed friend-zone. Since she's a pony and I'm not interested whatsoever, it comes as a relief.

"Whatever do you mean, darling? I'm merely stating my honest opinion," Rarity clucks, momentarily removing her hooves from my head. Then the jet of water hits my head again, and she starts massaging the shampoo out of my hair with her free hoof.

"You're ponies. How can you even consider someone of another species to be even remotely attractive? How the fuck do your sex drives even work?!" I blurted out, being particularly blunt in my phrasing. I can't see Rarity's expression, either, so I don't know how she feels about what I just said.

"Now, Seth, don't go reading too far into this. As a fashionista, I work with beauty, and as such I've learned to appreciate it where I can," Rarity explains. It almost feels like she's scolding me. "I've had the pleasure of seeing many species in my life, including griffons, minotaurs, diamond dogs, and dragons. The most similar to you is a minotaur, and to be honest, most of them are simply uncouth ruffians. Compared to a minotaur, you are much easier on the eyes."

"I can understand that reasoning, I guess," I admit, seeing the sense in her words. If minotaurs here are anything like they are in our mythology, then they're probably hideous. If she gives me a comparison like that, hell yes I'm better looking.

"Futhermore, interspecies relationships are accepted in Equestria, if you haven't already heard," Rarity reminds me.

"I did hear that."

"Then it shouldn't come as a surprise that some ponies have a taste for the...exotic," Rarity points out, just as she starts working conditioner into my hair. "You did say that Lyra showed some interest in you, if I remember correctly."

"Yeah."

"I doubt she was the only one," Rarity finishes. A sense of dread pervades me at her words. So there's other ponies at there that have been looking at me like...like that? Fucking hell...I really need to get my own place so I can avoid all these crazy ponies. Wanting to fuck a human...I mean really?

"Guess I should be a bit meaner then, to discourage that," I remark, much to Rarity's horror.

"Why ever would you do that? Having ponies appreciate the way you look is far from a bad thing. Like I said, I think you and a lucky mare or stallion would be very happy together," Rarity protests.

"I'm not having this conversation again. The answer is no. End of story," I avowed. Rarity is silent for a few moments.

"I see. Well then, I shall mind my own business, if that is what you desire." As much as I'm satisfied by that, Rarity's tone is short and clipped, to the point where I can tell she's not happy with me. Get the fuck over it. I'm not going to suddenly decide to fuck a pony simply because you think I'd be happy. On second thought, most of these ponies just expect me to assimilate into their society, despite two decades of human upbringing. I don't need love, which is basically just a sugarcoated word for sex, to be happy. I certainly don't need it from ponies. "I believe I am almost done. All that's left is to dry it."

"Good. I'm probably going to be late as it is," I grunt. Over the next few minutes, Rarity dries out my hair with one of the hairdryers. While she does it, she uses her magic to brush my hair. That's odd. Why would you brush your hair while drying it? Usually I dry my hair until it's only slightly moist, and then comb it. Ow, fuck. Welp, that was a knot.

"Finished! Come take a look, darling. I think you'll be pleased," Rarity announces, a hint of pride in her voice. I sit up slowly, and already I can tell I'm going to like what I see. Like, even before seeing it. I can tell because of how my hair feels when it falls down my neck. Before, it would hang in clumps, knot, and stick to my skin. Now it feels like fucking silk, like it's supposed to. My scalp no longer itches either. Thank god. Having an itchy scalp is maddening.

I get off the chair and look at Rarity, who is holding up a small mirror with her magic. Peering into it shows my ordinary, unblemished face, but now I look so much better because my hair doesn't look like shit. This actually does wonders for my state of mind. I really like my fucking hair.

A second later, I realize I'm actually smiling a little. And Rarity notices, because she is beaming with success. "Finally. Now I don't look like shit anymore," is my outward response, but it's too late. Not even my coarse language can dampen her spirits. She knows I like it.

"Indeed! And now you know our mane products won't damage your mane," Rarity remarks.

"Fair enough. Now, didn't you have some other outfits to show me?" I remind her. Rarity nods enthusiastically, and she guides me back into the main room.

Now, I'm not going to waste time writing down how I try on each and every outfit. It was repetitive as fuck, but the outfits were good. Those I am going to describe.

The first one is another set of blue jeans and a long sleeved shirt, only this time the shirt is white with dark purple rings around the collar and sleeves. Huh, so Rarity essentially made a shirt with her own color scheme on it. I guess I don't mind wearing it. I mean, purple isn't that bad of a color, and I never gave a fuck about fashion anyway.

The second is a bit more formal looking. This one consists of khaki slacks made of a material I can't identify, and a plain black shirt reminiscent of a polo. Huh, that's oddly lacking in pigment. When I questioned her about her color choice, she responds with, "It matches your hair, darling." Fair enough, I suppose.

The third is more of a heavier nature, likely for the winter that's soon to arrive. The pants are made of a much thicker material, similar to sweatpants, only less shitty. The shirt is actually doubly layered. To reiterate, it's basically a gray t-shirt stitched directly onto a white long sleeved shirt that is specifically designed to keep in heat. Additionally, there's a dark green jacket to go along with that outfit.

When I beheld the last outfit, I pause. Picking it up, I show it to Rarity. "What exactly is this?" I ask calmly, holding up the small black shorts that look a little tight for me.

"Oh, that one? Those are swimming trunks, just in case. It never hurts to be prepared, right?" Rarity answers me with a smile. I look back at them unconvinced.

"Really? They look too small for me," I tell her, stretching the material. It's actually more elastic than I expected. Whoa, so it's like underarmor. That's so cool. "Nevermind, they stretch. The better question is, why the hell would I need these in the winter?"

"It's not quite winter yet, dear. The lakes are quite tolerable, even now," Rarity informs me. That's actually good to know. I'm not usually one for swimming, but I do occasionally when I have free time. And by swim, I mean lie on a floating thingy (shut up, I don't fucking know what they're called) and take a nap.

"I see. Anyway, thanks for the clothes, but I need to get going," I say, shouldering my rifle and moving towards the door. Rarity blinks at my abrupt farewell, but she composes herself quickly.

"Of course, darling. Feel free to visit. You're always welcome here," Rarity calls after to me. I wave a hand absentmindedly and then leave the Boutique behind, carrying my clothes in my arms.

It's kind of dumb how fast she warmed up to me. I mean, I threatened her sister and insulted her repeatedly. Yet now I'm welcome at her house anytime.

Come to think of it, she's not the only one who's made a quick turn around. Rainbow did the same thing. We went from bitter enemies to...whatever we are now in the space of a few days. Something doesn't seem right here. Wait...I remember seeing Twilight talking to Rainbow just before the latter started acting somewhat nicer. I feel like there's a correlation.

If Rainbow and Rarity are only acting friendly because Twilight said something to them...then they're honestly just like every other goddamn human, and it would completely invalidate Rainbow's whole "I'm your friend now" speech.

I'm going to confront Twilight about this the next time I see her. If she confirms my theory...I'm probably going to knock her the fuck out and then go find a better way to get myself killed.

Yeah, I'm done thinking about this. It's a good thing I'm heading back to see Vinyl. I need a music fix, and there's no way I'm asking Lyra.

---

Vinyl opens the door just after I knock. Her shades are already on, and it looks like most of her stuff is loaded up in the cart already. "Perfect timing, Seth! Come on in," she greets with me with a grin, stepping aside so I can walk past her. "Nice threads, dude. You see Rarity?"

"Against my better judgment," I confirm bitterly. "But at least I'm wearing some decent clothes for once."

"Wow, and it's more than just the threads. You look good, bro. Especially your mane," Vinyl compliments me, causing me to look at her in disbelief. That's three ponies know that have commented on my ma...my hair. "And it helps that you don't smell like a stallion's locker room anymore."

"Pfft. Thanks a lot," I return sarcastically, but I'm not really that mad. She's right, of course. Additionally, I actually like this kind of interaction. "I see your place still looks like shit."

"Eh, fair enough. Anyway, let's get this thing moving," Vinyl responds, not really offended.

"Okay. Let me put all these clothes upstairs," I tell her. After a quick run to my room, I position myself behind the cart again, like before. Like the time two days ago, we lever the cart out the door and onto the streets, locking the door behind us.

"Hey, Vinyl," I say tentatively, getting the attention of my boss.

"Wassup?"

"Have you spoken to Twilight recently?" Vinyl's also been treating me nicely, so I want to see if my theory holds.

"Not since the party. I'm not as close to her as I am to Pinks and Rainbow. Why?" Vinyl answers, sounding curious. Huh...so Twilight hasn't spoken to her about me. Or maybe she's just not telling me. Pfft, so that solves absolutely nothing. It's kind of dumb asking somepony a question if you're not going to trust the answer they give.

"No reason," I grunt, essentially cutting off the conversation there. Or that's what I'd have to liked to have happened.

"Speaking of Pinks, have you seen her recently? I haven't seen her since the party, and that's odd. She's usually always outside socializing," Vinyl asks me, concerned. I tense up at that. Shit, Pinkie's missing? That's...probably my fault. It was just yesterday morning that I yelled at her. My intent was to get her to leave me alone. Did I really hurt her that bad?

"No, I haven't," I respond honestly. I'm not telling Vinyl a thing. I don't want to deal with the self-righteous bullshit she'd give me. In the end, it's not really my problem. Pinkie will get over it eventually, and then she'll leave me alone, just like I planned.

"Weird," Vinyl muses. With that conversation out of the way, the both of us focus entirely on moving the cart. With Vinyl's direction, it isn't very long before we end up at the club...well I guess I should call it a bar, because clubs are something you'd find in a city. You know what, this is my damn journal, I can use what terminology I want. I'll call it a clar...just kidding, I'm not really going to do that.

"Awright, let's get this baby inside," Vinyl directs, and then the two of us hoist the cart over the threshold and into the building.

The first thing I notice is that the place is full of ponies. Some of them I actually recognize. I would say who they are, but my vision is suddenly filled with insanely bright colors. Namely, every single color of the fucking...

"There you are! I knew if I find Vinyl, I'd find you!"

...Rainbow. Welp. Here was me thinking I rid myself of her for today. I guess not. "Well, you found me. Proud of yourself?" I deadpan.

"I'm always proud of myself," Rainbow proclaimed, thumping her chest with a hoof. Then she looks at Vinyl. "Sup, Vinyl? How's it hanging?"

"Pretty sweet, Dash! Pretty great turnout we got tonight. That your doing?" Vinyl returns the greeting enthusiastically. Rainbow swells herself up with self-importance.

"You know it! I did the rounds," she responds. God...these two have energy out the ass.

"Thanks. I appreciate it. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. Seth and I gotta set all this up," Vinyl says, levitating the first box out of the cart.

"All right! Yo, Seth, when you're done, come find me," Rainbow addresses me again. She jabs a hoof at one of the tables in the back. To my dismay, Lyra and Bon Bon are sitting at the table she's pointing at. "Me and a few others are sitting in the back."

"Sure, whatever. Now screw off so I can work," I reply dismissively. Rainbow immaturely sticks her tongue out at me, and then she flies back to her seat.

Then essentially it's just a matter of unloading all of the shit from the cart. This time though, Vinyl actually lets me help her set up the wiring, though she's instructing me over my shoulder the whole time.

"You know why I put the carpet last? It's because of all these wires I got running everywhere. You don't want ponies dancing too close to the equipment without that carpet, because they'll trip on the wires and probably knock things over," Vinyl explains while the two of us are uncoiling the wires. "So make sure to keep the bulk of the cabling in this square area, so we can cover it up with the carpet."

"Where do these cords go?" I ask, holding up the ends of several wires that are labeled with pink tape. I recognize the Equestrian scrawled on it, but I can't read it. It only takes Vinyl a second to identify them.

"Those go to the LEDs. Give me one second and I'll show you how to hook them up," she informs me. I'm learning a lot about setting this stuff up. It's weird, because when we set up for Pinkie's party, all I did was unload the cart and do some heavy lifting. Now she's actually teaching me how to set it up. I'd ask her why, but I don't really feel like it. I'll ask her later.

Vinyl helps me set up her speaker system, which mostly consists of the two of us lifting massive speakers from her cart and placing them strategically around the room to spread the sound around evenly. Some of the speakers have holes in the top.

"These are where the LEDs generally go. You place these metal poles here-" Vinyl levitates several poles out of the cart and passes a few of them to me. "-into these slots. Don't worry about the LEDs themselves. I'll just magic to fix them to the top of those poles."

"Shouldn't you let me do that? You're going to be using magic for hours, and I'm twice your size," I inquire, demonstrating my point by sticking a pole in one of the speakers and then easily touching the top of it. Vinyl blinks.

"Whoa, is that consideration you're showing? You feeling all right, Seth?" Vinyl quips with a grin.

"There's a difference between being considerate and being practical," I remind her impatiently. We're working. Save the jokes for never, please. Vinyl nods her head.

"Sure, sure," she remarks, though it's clear she doesn't believe me. Fucking ponies, man. Moving on, Vinyl unpacked the different LEDs she uses to keep the dance floor lit, and then instructs me how to fasten them to the poles in the correct position and height.

Throughout all of this, I gain a new respect for Vinyl. I mean, even more than the usual respect I give musicians. I never could fathom how musicians think so many different things at once. For example, when setting up for a performance, a musician has to think about what order the songs should be played in to keep the audience entertained, for one. No audience will wait if the musician encounters difficulties with the equipment either, which makes technical experience a must.

Vinyl's got all of this down, judging by the folder she's carrying on her back, as well as how she checks every piece of equipment and every wire for problems. Once she's confident the LEDs are ready, she has me help her set up her tables. Turns out all I have to do is carry them, because she doesn't want anyone touching the controls but her. Makes sense.

"Awright, that should be it," Vinyl declares once we set down the carpet over the mass of wires. I wipe the sweat off my forehead, not used to this kind of exertion. I'm sure my body will get over it in the space of a few weeks, but until then all this heavy lifting is going to hurt. A tentative touch to my primary arm muscles tells me that they're stiff, which means they're going to be sore in the morning. Fucking great. "I'm going to get started soon, so feel free to go out and mingle."

I turn around and walk away from her without another word. Already I feel like I want to be alone. It's been a long day, so I want to rest in the quiet, but I'm not going to be getting any of that.

Somepony prods me on the leg with a hoof, prompting me to stop walking and see who it is. Huh it's Flitter. I assume she just got here, I've just walked past the entrance. "Hello, Seth. Nice to see you again," she says with a meek smile. I cross my arms and look at her wordlessly, waiting for her to continue. She quails when I don't say anything back. "Um...how are you?"

"Fine," is my very short reply. I'm tired and I want to sit down. Please shut up so I can do that.

"Oh...okay. Um...where are you sitting? I mean, just in case you wouldn't mind some company," Flitter tries once more to get something other than a single word out of me. I had thought I'd been cold enough to Flitter to get her to leave me alone, but I suppose note. Letting her think I'd been dancing with her back at the party had been a mistake. Turning back around, I start walking towards Rainbow's table...where she's sitting with Lyra and Bon Bon. Fuck you, Rainbow...I really don't want to sit with them.

"Over with Rainbow," I respond, knowing that Flitter would follow me. She must be really hurting for company if she chooses to run after me. Before she can say anything else, we reach Rainbow's table. They look up as I approach.

"Guess you're done working, huh? Take a seat!" Rainbow requests, slapping an empty spot with her hoof. I might as well. I'm stuck here anyway until Vinyl is done playing.

"Oh, wow, I love what you did with your mane!" Lyra gushes just a second after I sit down. While I wish the praise had come from ANYONE else, I do appreciate it.

"Thanks," I grunt. Rainbow glances at me, and I can see the veiled concern in her eyes. She notices how short I'm being, probably. I don't know what she plans to do about it, though.

"Hey...um...do you mind if I join you all?" Flitter asks awkwardly. Right, she is talking to her boss, I suppose. I'd be awkward too.

"Hey Flitter! Didn't expect to see you here. Heck yeah you can join us," Rainbow exclaims. "Give me one second, I'll pull up a chair."

Rainbow snatches a chair from an empty table nearby and edges it in between me and Lyra, much to my relief. Lyra pouts slightly for some reason as Flitter sits down on her haunches in the proffered spot.

"Oh, you got new clothes," Flitter observes, suddenly. I can't help it anymore. I rub my forehead, getting irritated.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed. Thank you for telling me that I'm suddenly wearing a new set of clothes, a full minute after seeing them in the first place," I shoot back sardonically, and I see Flitter flinch visibly.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she stammers, while Lyra sighs and Rainbow frowns. Bon Bon, however, is a bit more vocal.

"Are you just a jerk to everypony you talk to?" Bon Bon demands. Great, looks like another one is getting defensive with me. At least I know how to deal with fuckers like you.

"Yup, pretty much," I say casually. "Glad we got that figured out. Are you done now, or are you just going to continue stating the obvious?"

"You...I don't know what Lyra even sees in you!" Bon Bon snaps. Only a moment later does she realize what she just said.

"Shh, Bon Bon!" Lyra hisses at her, a blush quickly forming on her face. Rainbow and Flitter all look at Lyra, and then back at me. Apparently neither of them knew about that part, which makes sense considering I only told Rarity.

"Neither do I. Besides, if you're worried about me taking your mare, don't be. I'm not attracted to ponies," I retort, resting my face on my fist, utterly disinterested in this conversation. Bon Bon looks scandalized, and then a light blush appears on her face too. Hah, apparently I hit the nail right on the head there.

"I...don't know what you're talking about. I'm into stallions, thank you very much," Bon Bon splutters indignantly. Uh huh. You might fool these naïve ponies, but certainly not me. I saw the signs. You're into Lyra, so you were probably jealous of me the moment I met you. "It's a good thing you're not attracted to us, because with an attitude like that, you're never going to have a special somepony!"

I can't help it. I cover my mouth as I laugh incredulously. "Special somepony?" That's something I haven't heard before. That's just the most ludicrous way of referring to a love interest. How the hell does she keep a straight face when she says that?

"Okay...that's enough already. We came here to have fun, everypony." Rainbow finally gets sick of our shit and steps in, speaking loud enough that the both of us could hear her. Bon Bon continues to glare at me, but with repeated urging from Lyra, she huffs and returns to her drink.

"Seth, you were never mean to me," Flitter says to me tentatively, ignoring the look of warning that Rainbow shoots her. I transfix her with my gaze.

"Because you treated me with respect, and didn't get on my damn case all the time like these fuckers," I explain, indicating the other three ponies at the table with a hand gesture.

"Oh," Flitter gulps.

A somewhat loud screech from the speakers alerts the room that Vinyl's tables had just switched on. I guess that means she's getting ready to start.

"'Sup, everypony! That's right, the one and only Vinyl Scratch is here to provide you with the best beats this side of Equestria!" Vinyl announces enthusiastically. In response, the ponies in the building, including the ones sitting with me, cheer. "That's what I like to hear! Now with this song, I wanna see everypony lookin' alive!"

The room seems to rumble with the sound of the bass as the song begins. My head bobs a bit in time to the relatively slow beat. It's more dubstep, and a particularly good mix too. I was never that much of a fan of the genre before, but I always did appreciate a well done mix that wasn't obnoxious. Like this one.

"What's up, Seth? You're a bit edgy." Rainbow asks me. I give her an askance look. Clever. She waited to ask until the music prevented most other ponies from hearing us. I mean, I can barely hear her.

"I'm tired, and Bon Bon's a bitch," is my particularly eloquent response. Rainbow cocks an eyebrow.

"She's not that bad. Makes good candy. Did you two get off on the wrong hoof, or something?" she objects.

"Well, the first thing she said to me was, 'oh, wasn't your race dead?' You tell me," I remark, frowning. Rainbow opens her mouth to reply, and then she between Bon Bon and I.

"I see your point. Seems kind of callous," Rainbow admits, causing me to look at her in disbelief. Did she just agree with me? "But come on, lighten up a bit. I'll buy you a drink. Sound good?"

"No. I don't need ponies buying me stuff. Honestly, I just want to go back home and get some time to myself," I reveal. My stomach chooses that time to remind me how hungry I'm getting. A quick glance doesn't seem to reveal any sources of food, though. I had thought there would be free food here, since the last gig had plenty. But maybe that was because it was a Pinkie party or whatever they call it.

"Look, dude, I insist. A cup of apple cider will help you unwind," Rainbow presses, wrapping a hoof around me. Hang on a minute, what? Did she just say apple cider?

"In that case, doubly no. I don't drink, nor do I intend to ever start." Great...ponies have fucking alcohol. You know, one of the worst things mankind ever created. Oh look, here's a drug to help you lose your minds! What genius decided that was a good idea? What genius decided to keep making it after domestic violence increased, fatal auto accidents increased, unwanted pregnancies increased...oh dear god, I can keep going. This proves ponies are exactly like worthless humans.

"What do you mean, you don't drink? Everypony has to drink to survive, right? What gives?" Rainbow demands, confused. I give her a deadpan stare. Are you fucking kidding me?

"No, you idiot. I mean I don't drink alcohol. I have something against poisoning myself to insanity," I snap back at her. Rainbow's ears flatten at my biting tone.

"Hey, I'm no idiot! But...I have no idea what al...alc...alohol is," she admits. Wait what?

"You just said apple cider. Doesn't that have a chemical in it that lowers your inhibitions and makes it more difficult to think clearly?"

"What? No! It just tastes really good, that's all. Who in the hay would drink something with a thing like that in it?" Rainbow looks genuinely appalled at the concept. So...ponies don't have alcohol? That...is a huge relief. Okay, that is one thing about the ponies that I will admit is better than humans. Faith in ponykind a smidgeon restored.

"Humans...just another reason why I hate them," I answer. Rainbow nods, apparently agreeing with that sentiment. "So how much for some of this cider?"

"I think it's like, 2 bits a cup?" Rainbow muses, scratching her head with a hoof. Fuck it, I might as well. I have two bits cushion anyway, so that I'll still be able to afford rent. Rainbow fumbles a bit when I hand her the money. "Go get me one."

"I said I'd pay for it," Rainbow reminds me, but I transfix her with a stare. She holds it for a few moments before sighing and getting up. "Fine...stubborn human."

"Conniving pony," I shoot back, looking down at the table. Rainbow looks at me oddly.

"Pasty-faced giant." I look up in surprise to see Rainbow grinning at me cheekily. A hint of a smile appears on my face too. She wants to play this game, does she?

"Technicolor adrenaline junkie," I retort.

"Whiny jerkface."

"Deformed worm thing."

"Weak-limbed wonder."

"Hoofed blabbermouth."

"Ape with stupid hair." Ohoho...she went there. Well, two can play at that.

"Tiny foal with the fucked up color scheme." Seems like our insults are getting more elaborate.

"Cocky flat-faced mummy."

"What are you two doing?" Lyra, who looks to be on her way to the dance floor with Bon Bon. Apparently she'd overheard us.

"Nothing," Rainbow and I say at the same time, attempting to look as innocent as possible. Lyra regards us suspiciously, and then jabs a hoof at us in a universal "I'm watching you" gesture as Bon Bon drags her off.

Rainbow and I glance at one another. "Snrk." I'm the first one to lose my composure as I chuckle into my hand, finding the entire exchange funny as hell. Rainbow is much less dignified about it, choosing to erupt into very unladylike laughter. "Truce? I really am thirsty," I say, offering my hand.

"Really? No way, dude, I win! But yeah, I'll get you that drink. Be right back," Rainbow proclaims, thumping her chest before trotting through the crowd.

Heh, she's all right. The only people I've been able to randomly insult like that without them getting offended are Amaryllis and Adam. Now, if only I could tell what she's like on the inside.

"I'm going to go dance," a voice says from next to me. Oh right, Flitter is still here. She's standing up now, indicating the dance floor with a hoof. "Would you like to join me?"

"Nah, I'm too tired tonight." Flitter nods at my response, and then she disappears from view as well, leaving me alone at the table.

Of course, I'm not alone for long before Rainbow returns with two cups of cider with her. She slams one down in front of me, bits of froth flying. "There you go: one cup of heaven."

"Heaven, huh? We'll just see about that," I reply, grabbing the cup and taking a gulp of it. Oh my god, fucking ow...shit, it's carbonated...and I just took a gulp without being used to it. Ow...pain...pain. Whew. When the pain passes, I give it another sip so I can actually taste it this time. Oh wow, it's like I'm drinking really good apple juice that's carbonated. "Not bad."

"Right? You think this is good, you should taste it when Applejack's family makes it. Hers is like...what's a good word..." Rainbow responds eagerly.

"Sex for your mouth?" I provide helpfully. Rainbow jerks her head back, looking at me oddly.

"Not...the words I'd have used...but close enough. Is that a human saying?" she says awkwardly, blushing a little.

"Pretty much."

"Dude, humans are weird."

"Tell me something I don't know."

We spend a few moments in silence, just drinking our cider. I'm not going to be able to eat tonight, so I staving it off slightly with liquids is the best I can do.

"Say, Seth, what do you know about pranks?" Rainbow suddenly says, watching me with a wicked grin on her face.

"Where did that come fro-" I start to reply, but then a louder sound cuts me off.

"SETH ROGERS!" That shout sounds familiar. I whirl my head around to see Twilight standing at the entrance, looking right at me.

And boy, she does not look happy to see me.

---

More character development for Seth, as well as the breaking down of the walls between him and Rainbow. I hope you're looking forward to the next few chapters as much as I am, because this arc is going to hit its climax very soon.

Also, thank you for all the positive feedback. It's good to know that there are readers out there that don't completely despise this story.

I wonder what I did this time. I don't remember ever making her this mad before, even when I was being stubborn.

"Uh oh, she just used your full name," Rainbow points out. "What did you do to make her so mad?"

"Hell if I know. I'm not really in the mood to deal with her shit," I grunt, turning my back on Twilight. Even as I clench my hands around my half empty cup of cider, I know she's not going to leave me be.

"Seth, you come here right now!" Twilight yells at me. She's closer than before. Fuck you, you're not my mother. I don't have to do a damn thing you say. Just to show her how little of a fuck I give, I lift up my drink and take a few more gulps.

"Um...aren't you going to answer her?" Rainbow asks me hesitantly, eyeing the approaching Twilight worriedly.

"Not if she talks to me like that," I answer matter of factly, taking another sip. I mean, she can't make me talk to her if I don't want to.

"One more chance Seth," Twilight warns me in a dangerously calm voice, now standing directly behind me. Again, not my mother. If you're not going to approach me in a dignified and respectful manner, there's no way I'm going to acknowledge you.

Suddenly, I'm pulled backwards, the chair falling over backwards, the edge of it ramming my tailbone painfully. The mug falls out of my hand from the force. "What the fuck?!" I scream as I'm pulled back through the crowd. Looking down at my body, I realize I'm enshrouded by Twilight's magical aura. Rage quickly overtakes me, causing me to curl my hands into fists.

The streets of Ponyville are shrouded in darkness, lit only by the oil lamps hanging from fixed posts that line the edges at regular intervals. So that's the first thing I see as Twilight drags me out the door with her magic.

She sets me down, transfixing me with a stern glare. However, it doesn't look like she'd expected me to return an equally, if not more intense glare. I storm up to her furiously, almost subconsciously raising my fist to strike her.

A hint of fear actually enters her eyes as I draw closer to her, and just before I reach her, she immobilizes me again.

"You better hold me back, bitch. Hide behind your magic, like all you unicorns do," I snarl at her, futilely straining at my magic bonds. I've never been this angry since coming to Equestria. Hell, I haven't been angry enough to strike someone for years. But all I can think about is showing this fucking pony that you can't just take control of my body like this. My body is mine. It should be my choice how I use it!

Twilight, now that she has me under control, goes back to glaring at me. "No, you have no right to be mad; Not after what you did to Pinkie!" she yells at me. So that's what this is about.

"No right? NO RIGHT?!" My throat hurts from just how loudly I shout at her. "I'm sick and tired of you unicorns using your goddamn magic on me when you can't get your way! It's childish and infringes upon my rights as a sentient being!"

"Oh, get over yourself. If you had just listened to me when I called you, I wouldn't have had to use magic at all. You only have yourself to blame," Twilight shoots back, raising her nose slightly. If it was possible for her to piss me off any more, she did it.

"Don't get all self-righteous with me. You're a spoiled brat who gets everything she needs from the fucking royalty. I bet you think you're entitled to my attention whenever you want it!" I rail at her. Judging by the way she freezes and her ears flatten, I think I hit a nerve.

"How dare you?! I'll have you know I had to work for everything I've received! As for you, you don't get to walk around hurting other ponies simply because you're wallowing in self-pity because everyone you know and love is dead!" Twilight shouts, her words cutting right through me.

My struggles cease, every muscle in my body tensing. A sort of calm falls over me, but not a typical one. It's the kind of calm that comes with psychopathic anger. The kind that you could beat someone senseless, and you wouldn't feel a thing. It's a good thing she's got me restrained, because at this point I couldn't even fathom what I'd do to her.

Twilight realizes that she's gone too far when she sees the demonic glint of fury in my eyes. She takes a step back, looking appalled at herself. "Seth...I'm so sorry. I didn't...that was uncalled for."

"But you're right, aren't you? I'm just the worthless remainder of a worthless race," I reply calmly, my voice sounding dead.

"No, Seth, you're not worthless, you're..."

"Don't try to take it back. Whether you meant to say it or not, that's what you really feel." I cut across her bitterly.

"No, that's not it at all! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly," Twilight backtracks hastily. Pft, the lying bitch. I know what you're thinking.

"Right, I'm sure. Now then, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Twilight looks surprised that I'm even letting her continue. I just don't want this to drag on any longer than it has to. I...need to be alone. "Um...well, you said some really hurtful things to Pinkie, and it's really affected her. I want you to...apologize to her," she explains, much calmer than before.

"Now, isn't that rich. I'm sorry, I'll have to decline. My goal was to keep her from talking to me again. If I apologize, that would be counterproductive, don't you think?" I say in a cool voice. Holy shit, I almost sound like a psychopath.

"It doesn't matter what your goal was. You went too far. At least explain things to her. I want my friend back. Please, Seth!" Twilight's almost begging at this point.

"Come ask me in the morning. Right now, I'm too angry at you to care," I tell her honestly. Twilight nods her head sadly, and then she releases me from her magic. When she sets me down, I honestly still feel the urge to beat the shit out of her for holding me like that in the first place. Instead, I just turn my back to her and walk back towards the bar.

I'm halted when her hooves close around me from behind in what I think is supposed to be a hug. "What are you doing?" I demand, wondering if she might have lost her mind.

"I'm really sorry. I mean it. I can't even begin to understand what you're going through," Twilight murmurs softly. Oh for the...seriously? You were screaming at me earlier, and now you're being all huggy? Give me a break. "I was just angry...and...I'm so sorry."

"What, do you expect me to just drop everything and hug you back? Get off me." I wrench out of her grip. "I'm going back inside. I'll talk to you in the morning."

I leave a distraught looking Twilight behind as I walk into the bar. The moment I walk inside, I notice that Rainbow, Lyra, Bon Bon, and Flitter are back at our table, having seen my involuntary exit from the building earlier.

Rainbow notices that something is wrong the moment she sees me. She meets me halfway, before I can even reach the table. "Hey, Seth, what happened out there?" Rainbow asks, her voice sounding worried. Her concern is exacerbated when I don't respond, pushing past her rudely to return to my chair. "Hey!"

Lyra and Flitter both observe my noticeable change in demeanor and crowd me as well. I shut my eyes, trying hard not to keep my anger in check, even as they repeatedly try to get me to answer them. My hand wraps around the edge of the table, and I attempt to force all of my growing frustration out though that one hand. I end up squeezing the table so hard my hand turns white.

"Would you shut the fuck up already?!" I finally lose it, releasing the table and slamming that hand down on its surface so hard the cups on it tip over. Lyra, Flitter, and Rainbow are shocked into silence by my outburst. "Does it look like I want to deal with any of you right now? Get the fuck out of my face."

"But..." Lyra attempts, but Rainbow stops her, sticking a hoof in her mouth.

"Come on, girls. Let's go get some more drinks," Rainbow suggests, herding the two of them away towards the front counter.

I'm left alone at the table. My hands lethargically move up to my head, supporting it as I stare down at the table. My eyes soon become unfocused as I zone out, once again remembering just who I've lost, thanks to that bitch of a librarian. Self-pity...fuck you. You make it sound so cheap. I bet you've never lost anypony in your life.

For the rest of Vinyl's gig, I isolate myself as much as possible from the other ponies. When Rainbow and the others come back after a while, I get up and leave, walking outside of the bar and sitting down on the cold ground, where I gaze up at the night sky. I take some small manner of comfort from the few things in this world that will never chance. Even three thousand years later, the same stars still shine down on me.

I stay there, the cold wind chilling me, until the music stops, signaling the end of Vinyl's gig. I guess that means I'd better head back inside. At the very least, I'll be alone soon.

Luckily I manage to get inside before the flood of ponies leave the building. Forcing my way through that would not have been fun.

"Hey, I'll see you later, all right?" Lyra calls out to me as she leaves with Bon Bon. I don't give her a reply, and then they're gone a few moments later. Flitter also says goodbye to me before she leaves, but I don't acknowledge her either.

"Sure, but only if you help Seth and I get all this back home," I overhear Vinyl saying to Rainbow just as I arrive within earshot of them. I wonder what they're talking about.

"Aw, come on, do I have to?" Rainbow complains. Yeah, really, why would Rainbow have to help me load? I never needed her help before.

"Yeah. This way he'll be less..." Vinyl starts to answer, but then she cuts off abruptly when she sees me coming. I cock an eyebrow at her. I'll be less...what? "...less burdened. Yeah, less burdened."

"You hear that, Seth? I'm helping you load up this time around. Aren't you lucky?" Rainbow brags to me. Her face falls when I completely ignore her, instead choosing to begin dismantling the LEDs like Vinyl had taught me.

"Right, bro, you keep doing that. Dash, help me with these tables," Vinyl orders. I think I'll cut out the description of this part, since it's essentially the same as the last time I packed up, only I know a little bit more about what I'm doing.

"Awright, here's your money, bro." Vinyl holds out five bits on her hoof once we're done packing up. I look at them, running a bit of math in my hand. Instead of taking them, I fish out another bit and add it to the pile on her hoof. "What the..."

"Keep it. That's my rent for today," I grunt, withdrawing my hand and stashing it in my pocket. Vinyl looks at the money for a long moment, and then she sighs and puts it into a sack. This leaves me with five bits. I've got a nice surplus this time, so I might be able to spend some of it for myself if I factor in tomorrow's pay from the farm.

"Come on, let's get this thing moving!" Rainbow yells impatiently. For some reason, she's hovering above the cart, her wings flapping rapidly. I still have no idea why she's helping us anyway. What, is Vinyl not satisfied by my work?

"Good idea," Vinyl agrees, and we assume the usual formation for moving the cart, only this time Rainbow is helping me push. This way is easier on my tired muscles, but I honestly didn't need her help.

We proceed in silence through the nearly abandoned streets of Ponyville. While I'd like to say they respected my mood and kept their mouths shut, Rainbow immediately starts talking to Vinyl about the songs she'd played back in the bar. I never really paid much attention to them, so even if I wanted to join in, which I don't, I'd have had nothing to say,

A few moments later, we've arrived at Vinyl's place. She opens the door with magic and guides the cart inside with our help.

The second it is inside and stable, I let go and head for the kitchen. As cluttered as it is, I'm sure it should be too hard to find a cup. Apple cider is nice and all, but I need some actual water, or I will get circulation issues. Mostly in my hands too. I had that problem in college a lot, whenever I'd stay up playing games, I'd forget to drink, so my hands would practically freeze solid.

Conversation trickles in from the front room as I yank open various cupboards, finding plates and silverware (who the hell keeps silverware in a cupboard and not a drawer? And why does she have some anyway, if she doesn't use them?) , and finally, in the absolute last place I look, the cups I'm looking for.

I fill the cup with water from the sink and drain it dry. It doesn't taste that great, but I'm not altogether that picky. I repeat this several more times until my stomach feels full, even though it's not.

Striding back into the living room reveals Vinyl and Rainbow chilling on the couch, still talking. Unsurprisingly, Rainbow somehow managed to turn the conversation to herself and her latest aerial tricks. Me, being the nice guy I am, interrupt them. "Why are you still here?"

"What, me?" Rainbow asks, clueless. I give her a deadpan stare.

"No, the mouse on your shoulder," is my sarcastic response. Rainbow reacts to that by falling off the couch with a yelp, trying to get rid of the nonexistent mouse. Vinyl laughs at the pegasus's stupidity, while I'm facepalming. All of these ponies take my sarcasm way too seriously.

"Hey, there's no mouse!" Rainbow realizes at last, and she gets up and looks at me accusingly.

"Of course not! I was talking to you."

"Then why did you say you weren't?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to an imbecile," I apologize sardonically. Rainbow nips at me, not appreciating the insult. "Now answer me."

"What? Oh, yeah. So I'm crashing here tonight," she finally says. I blink. She's what? Rainbow is looking at me hesitantly, almost as if she's afraid that I'd snap at her about it. To be fair, I think about it. If this isn't a clear excuse to stay near me, I don't know what is. I wish she'd stop trying. I'm not friend material, and I'm not sure you are either.

"Whatever. I don't care. I'm going to bed," I grunt, turning my back. Without waiting to see how they react to my sudden departure, I ascend the stairs and tread into my room, slamming the door.

I'm alone at last. From now until the morning, I have some blessed solitude at last. I'd say today hadn't been that bad, but Twilight ruined any chance of it being even a mediocre day. I still feel no inclination to apologize to that pink menace, though.

Goddammit, Twilight. I'd been trying not to think about the people I've lost.. I can't feel grief if I keep them out of my mind. But Twilight ruined that.

Now, as I sit down on my bed, all I can think about are those people. And it fucking hurts. It's like that feeling you get when you're waiting for a friend to show up after agreeing to hang out, only they never show up, and you're left waiting. Waiting for the friend that you will never see again.

I think about all the times we might yet have shared, if life had continued as normal. Amaryllis and I...I wanted to show her so much. I had a piano at my parents' house. A lot of my childhood was spent playing on that thing, learning melodies by ear, and cross referencing sounds to notes so I could learn to read music. I wanted to play for her one day. One day when I could do so without feeling like I'd be judged for it.

Or my brother, Adam. It's funny, but right now I really want to watch Eureka Seven with him, even though I know it's impossible now. We'd had so many more animes on our list. I had been looking forward to watching things like Stein's Gate, Spice and Wolf, Summer Wars, and other obscure titles. Hell, we were even considering watching that newer anime, Attack on Titan, to see if it was worth anything. I sort of just took him for granted. Heh, how fucking dumb could I get?

It doesn't matter how stupid it is. My hand slips into my pocket and pulls out my phone, powering it on. The light washes over my face as that little apple pops up.

Looks like I have about fifty five percent battery left. Not bad, it's only been a few days and I've only lost five percent. At this rate, it should last about half a year more. Well, probably a bit less after I spend some time perusing it.

A melancholy smile crosses my face as I pull up my image folder. I think it's about time I look through these.

A few moments later, I realize how bad of an idea this was. With every image I look at, I feel worse. The more memories I remember, the more I want to go back home. The more times I see Amaryllis, the more I wish she was here, so could hold her close and never let her go.

One last image in particular catches my eye. It's the group picture we took during our trip Europe, a year or so ago, during the summer. I forget when. It had been my family and I, as well as Amaryllis and her family.

In this shot, we were standing on the cruise ship with our backs to the ocean. Amaryllis and I were in the front, wearing sleeveless shirts and swim trunks, with our arms around the shoulder of the other. Adam stood next to me, wearing a white shirt with Maka and Soul on it, from Soul Eater, with a bright grin on his face. My mother and father are behind Adam and I, where they were standing next to Amaryllis's parents. We all looked so happy. It was one of those times when nothing else mattered but the ones you were with.

Tears roll slowly and silently down my face. These are the things that I'll never get to enjoy ever again. Scrolling to the next image, I chuckle despite my sorrow, as it's that same group image, only it had been during the second shot, when a dolphin had chosen to leap out of the water at that exact spot, splashing us all and causing some hilarious expressions.

Dammit...I wish...I wish there could be someone here. Someone that I can shoulder my sorrows onto. Why must everyone I meet be useless and untrustworthy? Why can't there be someone here for me?

Just as I'm powering the phone off once more, the door to my room opens, taking me by surprise. "Hey, Seth, sorry to bug you, but I was wondering...whoa." Shit it's Rainbow. What the fuck...can't I even have time to myself, away from you goddamn ponies?! She cuts off the moment she sees my face. I then realize that my phone is still giving off some light, which is shining onto my face. That's what she's looking at. Double shit. Now she's walking towards me. Triple shit.

"Get the fuck out of my room," I growl at her.

"With you looking like that? No way," Rainbow tells me firmly. I give her a disbelieving look, which slowly turns to anger.

"Can't you ponies respect even the most basic of privacies?!" I demand incredulously. Is there no depths to which this race won't sink?

"Buck privacy, especially if you're hurting like this when no one can see you," Rainbow asserts, getting within arms reach of me. I take advantage of that and swing at her in my despair. She ducks under it easily, and doesn't even back off.

"Fuck off! Get out of my room before I make you!" Now I'm threatening her, my hand reaching towards my rifle. Rainbow gives me this little smirk.

"Didn't you hear me? I'm not moving. And do you really think you can make me?" Rainbow stays where she is, infuriating me further. But...I leave my rifle where it is. She has a point. The last time I tried to tangle with her, she was practically toying with me the whole time. Fuck, so what the hell do I do to get her to go away?

"What do you even want?" If I give her what she wants, maybe she'll fuck off. Still, I don't see what she hopes to gain from bugging me like this.

"You to tell me what happened between you and Twilight that got you this upset," Rainbow answers, sitting down on her haunches and folding her wings. Really? That's what she wants? What a hassle. "I mean, we were joking and having a fun a few minutes before that, so something happened."

"You're too damn nosy. Some things I want to keep to myself. Can't you fucking respect that?" I demand. I'm starting to feel exhausted, so I place my rifle by my bed and lay back, resting my back against the pillows.

"Not if this is what I find. As Twilight would say, I'm making an intervention," Rainbow replies stubbornly. "I'm not moving until you tell me."

"What...I...feel like we've been here before. Have we been here before?" I remark, the irony of the situation not lost on me. I feel like we just did this...several hours ago.

"You know, you're right." Rainbow actually chuckles at that. "I guess you need someone as stubborn as you to get you to say anything."

"I can't believe we're doing this again. What's stopping me from just going to sleep and ignoring you?"

"Well you could, but only if you don't mind if I crash in here as well." When she says this, Rainbow curls up on the floor and looks up at me smugly.

"Of course I mind! That's not proper at all!" I exclaim, appalled. There's no way I'm going to let a damn female pony sleep in my room. That's nine kinds of wrong.

"Now you sound like Rarity," Rainbow remarks, and then she straightens herself up, holding herself like she's attempting to be regal. Then, in a passable imitation of Rarity, she says, "Oh pish posh, darling. A mare sleeping in the same room with a stallion? Why, imagine the scandal!"

"Snrk." I can't help it. That's just funny, especially because I could totally see Rarity saying something like that. And it's even better because it's coming from Rainbow, who is practically the exact opposite of Rarity.

"Right, so if you don't want that to happen, you better start talking," Rainbow declares, slumping back down and giving a very unladylike yawn. I remain silent for a while, still unwilling to talk, but also wondering how I would even word it.

Several minutes of silence pass in this manner. At first Rainbow continues to stare at me attentively, but after the first few seconds she starts to fidget. Then she rolls over and starts trying to scratch an itch on her back. God, she's like a damn puppy on a leash. How much effort is she putting into this? I mean, she's not really the patient type.

"Hey," I say, once I think I've collected my thoughts enough. I'm tough enough that I don't need to explain my problems. I'll tell her enough to get her to go the fuck away. My words cause her to stop hoofing at the carpet aimlessly and look at up me expectantly. "Have...you ever lost anypony?"

"Me? Well, if you count all the times I lost Fluttershy in a crowd, then..."

"Don't be a dumb fuck. I mean have you had anypony you cared about die?" I cut across her, not in the mood for pony naivete. Rainbow shuts up immediately, gulping.

"I...well...no."

"That's what I thought. God, I'm envious. Let me explain this to you in a way you'll understand." I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I need her to know this, otherwise she'll never understand. Pah, she'll never understand anyway. She'll decide I'm too much drama and walk away, preferring to live her own ignorant life, because ignorance is bliss. "You're friends with Vinyl, aren't you?"

"Heck yeah. She's only one of the coolest unicorns around," Rainbow replies, confused as to where I'm going with this.

"Now imagine that tomorrow morning, she walked out that door and never came back. And you didn't even get a chance to say goodbye." Rainbow's eyes widen at that.

"Gosh, that would totally stink."

"Right? Now imagine that when you walk out after her, the entire town is empty. Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, and even every single last townspony are just gone. Forever. Imagine that just a moment ago, everything had been fine. How would that make you feel!?" My voice rises throughout this entire explanation. The last sentence is spoken in a yell, which causes Rainbow's ears to flatten.

"That's...what Twilight made you feel?" Rainbow spoke haltingly, pain filling her eyes after envisioning that scenario.

"Twilight reminded me of it. She actually wanted me to apologize to Pinkie for telling her to fuck off the other day, but she...lacked a certain tact," I correct her. And I went and told her how I felt anyway. Wow...I am such a fucking weakling. Amaryllis would be laughing her ass off at me if she could see me right now. Oh, the tough and silent Seth, spilling his guts to a multicolored pony with wings? What a joke.

"Heh, yeah, that's our egghead for you." Rainbow agrees with me, surprisingly enough. What the hell? She's just going to take my word without even hearing Twilight's? "I'll talk to her about it. She's not the best at dealing with other ponies...or a very depressed human."

"Don't bother. She knows she fucked up. I just don't plan on forgiving her anytime soon," I grunt, crossing my arms.

"Aw, come on. She didn't mean to hurt you. She just stuck her hoof in her mouth. Again," Rainbow protests. "She was probably just angry about that whole thing with Pinkie that she forgot to think."

"Whatever." We fall into silence again, but this time it looks like Rainbow is thinking hard about something.

"Say...why don't we get her back?" Rainbow's words cause me to look at her sharply. She's wearing a mischievous grin. What the fuck...did she just ask me if I wanted to get revenge on one of her friends? What kind of pony is she?

"What?"

"Yeah! We'll show her a thing or two about messing with your head. Know any good pranks?" Rainbow affirms. My expression becomes dumbfounded.

"You want me to get back at her by...pranking her? Are you serious right now?" This sounds so fucking dumb I don't even know where to start.

"Come on, it'll be fun! I guarantee you, she'll never see it coming," Rainbow assures me, sidling closer and hopping up on the bed across from me.

"Really? How childish do you have to be? Pranking her won't make me forget what she said," I demand scornfully. Rainbow looks at me cluelessly for a bit. Oh shit, right. How do you...oh. "Right...foalish. Still getting used to pony terminology."

"Oh. Well, maybe not, but it'll be funny as heck. Twilight has the best reactions. Trust me, I know from experience," Rainbow replies.

"Ugh...this is so dumb," I groan, planting my face in both of my hands. Double facepalm for this one.

"No, it'll be great. So are you in?" Rainbow looks entirely too eager for this. Staring at her, I mull the idea over in my head. To be honest, I've never actually pranked anyone before, nor did I ever feel the need to.

"Eh, fuck it, why not? What's the worst that could happen?" I relent, making a dismissive hand gesture. "So what kind of prank were you thinking about?"

"Well, I was asking you. When do you next see her?" Rainbow points out.

"She's coming here tomorrow morning, to remind me about Pinkie."

"Oh really? In that case, I'd do something hilarious, like rig the door to dump a bucket of water on her head when she walks in," Rainbow suggests, snickering wickedly. I give her a flat-browed expression.

"Are you kidding me? No, that's dumb. If we're going to do this, we should probably take into account her nature," I argue. Seriously, dumping water on people is like something you'd see in a cartoon. I'd want something more hardcore than that. "I don't much about her except that she's a nerd who can be a real bitch."

"Twi? Well...she's really into books, and she gets crazy if somepony messes up all that organization she's got going on," Rainbow describes. Oh, well that just makes things too easy for me. I now know exactly what to do to her. "What's that look for? You got an idea?"

"Yeah, come here" I order. Rainbow clambers over the blankets towards me. Part of me shifts uncomfortably at her increased proximity.

With that, the two of us put together our plan for my revenge on Twilight. I'm still convinced that this is just one giant waste of time, but honestly I'm at the point where I literally don't care about anything. How I haven't lost my mind by now, I don't know.

"That's genius! We'll need Vinyl's help to keep her from using her magic, through," Rainbow exclaims.

"Is that a problem?" I question.

"Nah, Vinyl will totally help us. She should still be awake," Rainbow assures me. "Come on, let's go talk to her!"

Wordlessly, I rise from the bed and stalk out of the room, Rainbow right on my heels. I don't know how tomorrow is going to go, but one thing is for sure.

Twilight is going to be in for one hell of a surprise in the morning.

---

All is quiet in Vinyl's living room as the first rays of the morning light shine in through the windows, illuminating the two ponies and I as we lie in wait for our unwitting target.

I'm standing with Rainbow in plain view of the front door, next to a bookshelf that Vinyl had lugged down from the attic for us. Its shelves were stocked with hundreds of books on musical subjects, like musical history and theory. There's also a lot of score sheets there too.

Clutched in Rainbow's right forehoof is a hardcover book emblazoned with the image of Celestia and Luna on it. It's titled, "Equestria's Lost History."

My hands are tucked into my pockets. My right hand toys with the small object in my right pocket, my entire body tense with anticipation. My mind has entered the "fuck-it" mode, so it doesn't matter how stupid this is.

There is a small rug inconspicuously placed just in front of Rainbow and I, so that Twilight would have to cross it to reach us.

"Any sign of her?" Rainbow whispers anxiously. Vinyl moves aside the drapes on her sidelights and peers outside.

"Not just yet. Hang tight just a bit longer," Vinyl replies just as softly. Rainbow huffs in reply and shifts her weight between her two back legs. I chuckle a bit. She's getting fidgety again. This pony really needs to learn some patience. Waiting to prank someone always requires some patience. "Hold it...there she is. Get ready!"

"Aw yeah, let's do this," Rainbow says eagerly, her pep returning. "You remember the script, Seth?"

"Of course I do. I wrote it, dipshit," I retort. My not so polite response causes Rainbow to stick her tongue out at me.

The sound of Twilight knocking on the door causes us to abandon our sneaky expressions and replace them with casual ones. The moment Vinyl opens it to reveal the very hesitant looking Twilight, we start off into our prepared dialogue, speaking in tones loud enough that Twilight can easily hear us.

"We should probably do this now, before Twilight gets here," I remark casually, nodding my head at the book on Rainbow's hoof.

"Yeah, she would totally freak. Hurry up, she'll be here any minute!" Rainbow urges me, pushing the book towards me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Twilight peek her head around Vinyl, watching us with curiosity and suspicion. Her eyes widen when she sees the title of the book Rainbow's holding.

"All right. Good bye, shitty book. May your author never produce another," I declare dramatically, pulling the object out of my right pocket, revealing it to be a box of matches. The sound Twilight makes, which is a cross between a agonized whinny and a high pitched squeal, is almost enough to make me lose my composure right then and there.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Twilight shrieks, her horn lighting up, probably attempting to grab the book from us. However, to her dismay, it doesn't work at all. What she had failed to notice is the faint magical aura that already surrounds the book, courtesy of a snickering Vinyl.

"Quick, she's here! Burn it!" Rainbow exclaims. I light the match with a quick flick of my wrist, springing a small flame into existence.

Twilight, out of any other options, breaks into a dead run towards us. "Stoooooop!" she cries desperately. I bring the match close to the spine of the book, spurring Twilight into greater speeds.

However, her reckless charge causes her to step on the small rug...that slides backwards under her momentum, courtesy of the large amount of grease spread on the floor beneath it. "Waaaah!" Twilight cries as she overbalances.

Vinyl acts quickly, using her magic to slide a pie right under Twilight, so that she falls muzzle first into it. There's silence for a few moments, and then Twilight makes a hilarious muffled sound of confusion.

We just fucking lose it. Rainbow and Vinyl laugh uproariously at the sight of the fallen Twilight. I blow out the match, and then I join them, finding this the most hilarious thing since I got here. This isn't just a chuckle, either. I'm laughing my ass off right now, holding my ribs because it's getting hard to breathe.

Twilight picks her head out of the pie, which looks to be cherry, if the red filling is anything to go by. For some reason, a certain song starts playing in my head...which makes this even funnier.

"Rainbow! Is this another one of your pranks?!" Twilight demands, glaring angrily at her. Rainbow just laughs harder, because Twilight looks anything but intimidating with all that cherry filling on her face. She glares at Vinyl next. "Vinyl! Were you in on this too?"

"You know it!" Vinyl chokes out between laughs. "Oh...your face...stop looking at me...I'm gonna die!"

Twilight gives an adorable little growl, and then she reaches up a hoof to her face in an attempt to wipe off some of the pie filling. Unfortunately for her, it's the sticky kind. "Oh, yuck! You couldn't have used something easier to clean up?!"

"Nope!" I answer her helpfully. A few moments later, I manage to compose myself, and then I take the book from where Rainbow had put it. Walking towards her, I earn her gaze, and I fully expect her to scold me next.

That doesn't happen. When Twilight's cherry covered face stares up at me (which causes me to grin and almost go into another laughing fit), she releases a resigned sigh. "You weren't really going to burn that book,were you?" she asks in a defeated tone.

"Yeah, I was, actually. I still might. Take a look at it," I tell her seriously. Her eyes widen and she snatches the book from me with her magic. Vinyl, Rainbow, and I watch her with baited breath as she runs a hoof over the cover of the book.

It's only when she tries to open it that she realizes it isn't actually a book, instead being a sanded wood construct that we'd spent hours last night making. Her resulting cry of realization and anguish causes us to start cracking up again.

"Vinyl, mind if I use your kitchen?" Twilight asks, thoroughly unamused. After receiving a nod from the still snickering Vinyl, Twilight leaves the room with a, "I'll be right back."

"I told you, right? The best reactions!" Rainbow reminds me, managing to calm herself, but still wearing a satisfied smirk.

"Okay, I have to admit. As foalish as that was, her face was fucking priceless!" I chuckle, rubbing my eyes to wipe away the moisture formed there by all this merriment. I notice Rainbow and Vinyl exchange a smile and a nod at that. Huh, wonder what that's all about.

"Totally worth the effort," Vinyl adds, walking towards Rainbow and I. She sticks out a hoof towards us. "Put it there!"

Rainbow looks at me, noting my crossed arms. She jerks her head towards Vinyl. What, so she wants me to high five a pony? How is that even a thing? They don't even have fingers, which is where that phrase originated from. You know, five fingers? So what the fuck? Do they call it a high one?

But if I do it...they're just going to think they're my friends. Rainbow already thinks that, and won't go away no matter what I do. If I do this...Vinyl is also going to be annoying. Fuck it, I'm in a better mood because of that prank, so I'll humor them. If they get too annoying, I'll let them know clearly where they stand.

I reach my hand up, and then Rainbow and Vinyl both beam, and reciprocate the gesture, our assorted limbs meeting in midair with a clop.

Just then, a freshly cleaned Twilight walks out of the kitchen, still dripping slightly from her mane. Her unamused expression causes us to snicker a bit. Twilight looks at me expectantly. "Are you ready to go see Pinkie?"

"You're just going to assume I'm going?" I demand, irritated already. I expected a carefully worded question, not this. Sounds like she decided that I'm going for me. Twilight dithers a bit, taken off guard by my hostility.

"But...you said..."

"I said, come talk to me about it in the morning," I correct her before she can even form a coherent sentence. "Never once did I say, 'Oh yes, Twilight, I will most definitely see Ms. Look-at-Me-I'm-High-Out-of-My-Mind!'"

"Seth, she hasn't come out of her room in days!" she beseeches me.

"And I should care about that, why?" My cold response causes everypony in the room to glance at me in shock. "The world is harsh. The sooner she gets used to that, the better off she'll be."

"Okay, everypony stop and chill out a moment," Rainbow interjects just as Twilight's opening her mouth. "Twilight, what do you want from Seth, exactly?"

"All I want is for him to apologize to Pinkie, so she'll be back to her usual self. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate," Twilight expresses, looking at me with those pleading eyes.

"Okay. Seth, why exactly won't you do it?" Rainbow turns to me next. I raise an eyebrow at her. Is the egotistical jock trying to play mediator? You know, come to think about it, for a pony with such an active lifestyle, she's been strangely intelligent and reasonable. Something doesn't seem right here.

"Because I said what I did to Pinkie to keep her the hell away from me, and to stop assuming that she's my friend. As far as I'm concerned, mission accomplished," I tell them flatly. "You ponies all have the habit of assuming that you're my friends. It'll only hurt you in the long run."

"You know, you say that, but I'm not going anywhere," Rainbow points out. I shoot her a glance. Yeah, I had a feeling she would say something like that. But maybe the others will take the...

"Neither am I. I am always willing to be a friend to you, whether or not you want it," Twilight adds. I stare at her in shock. What the hell is she talking about?

"You can't get rid of me that easily, bro." What the fuck? Even Vinyl is in on this bullshit? Who do you all think you're fooling? Nobody cares this much about making a friend. Are you all working together behind my back or something? Do you think I'll let you in if you present a united front?

"You're all crazy. I don't owe you anything," I declare, crossing my arms stubbornly. The three of them huff at that.

"Let me put it this way," Rainbow says, whizzing in front of me. "Twilight's going to keep annoying you until you do what she wants. Trust me, we've all been there."

"Hey!" Twilight protests.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Twi," Rainbow says with a smirk. Twilight pauses, and then dips her head shyly. "Hah! So Seth, how much are you willing to take?"

"Oh for the love of...fine!" I relent with bad grace. All these ponies ganging up on me with their friendship speeches and their bullshit logic, and their multicolored manes, and their shitty magical powers and...fucking...I hate ponies. They weaponize their damn cuteness. It just makes me even more irritated when I see them exchange happy smiles at my answer. Don't rub it in...it just pisses me off. "If I'm gonna do this, let's go now. I do still have work to go to."

"Perfect! Shall we go then?" Twilight asks me innocently, stepping aside so that I can reach the door. I push past her and walk out into the sunlight.

Let's go and get this over with.

---

This one took me forever, and I'm still not all that comfortable with it. Oh well, I'll go back and fix the whole story once I get the rough draft down. After all, that's essentially what this is.

I also decided that adding a Rainbow Dash tag was warranted, considering how much I'm writing about her in comparison to the other five. Anyway, this arc is almost finished, with three chapters left, at the very most. It'll end with a bang, so stay tuned!

Credit to DarkWarfang for helping with the prank idea, along with other smaller changes, as well as just being a general badass.

This is really awkward. Like, really awkward. It's difficult to explain, but I feel...like a criminal somehow, the way Twilight and Rainbow are flanking me on either side as I walk through the streets. I don't feel like I should have to say anything to this Pinkie chick, because I meant everything I said. Isn't apologizing the same thing as admitting you were wrong?

So we're back at Sugarcube Corner now. I slow to a stop just in front of the door, looking up at the absurdly decorated building. The last time I was here, it was for that awesome party. Now I'm back here to attempt to cheer up a maniac. I almost consider leaving, because fuck these ponies, but I know that I'd never get away. Between Twilight's magic and Rainbow's athletic prowess, I won't even have a chance to get free. The thought that they can control my life so easily almost makes anger bubble up within me.

Without a word, I pull open the door and step inside, my nose twitching at the sudden onslaught of sugary smells. This immediately gives me a craving for something sweet, but I don't have any money. I spent the last of it last night.

"Good morning, and welcome to Su...to..." I recognize the speaker as being Mrs. Cake. However, her bubbly words quickly trail off as she sees me, and her welcoming expression turns to one of animosity, more than likely directed at me. "Hmph."

"Twilight, Pinkie's upstairs, right?" I whisper to the unicorn behind me. She confirms that with a nod, so I stride forward, intending to completely ignore Mrs. Cake so I can get this over with. However, she steps in front of me.

"Where do you think you're going, human?" she demands, her posture hostile. Ah, so they know about it too. I don't see what the big deal is, though. Why do they care so much? Is it because they can't get any work from Pinkie if she's all depressed?

"Past you. Get the fuck out of my way," I respond plainly. Mrs. Cake does not budge. Dammit, fine, I'll try this Twilight's way. "Look, I'm here to talk to Pinkie."

"Don't you think you've done enough?" she snaps back at me. Well, so much for that. I turn around and walk back towards Twilight.

"Well, I tried. I'm leaving now," I tell her. Both she and Rainbow immediately step in front of the door. "What? How am I supposed to do anything with this fucker in my way?"

"Seth, she's just angry because Pinkie is like a daughter to her. If you can keep that in mind when you talk to her, I'm sure you two can come to an understanding," Twilight explains to me patiently.

"I don't care about any of that. I'm here to talk to Pinkie, drag her out of her room, and then go," I grunt, earning a disapproving look from the unicorn. "Just magic her out of my way or something."

"I'm not going to use magic on Mrs. Cake. She's not doing anything wrong," Twilight argues. "Just go up to her and show some sincerity, and I'm sure she'll let you pass."

"Sincerity implies that I care. I'm here to get you off my case, that's all." My words cause her frown to deepen. "Fine...but know that everything I say to her will practically be a lie."

Mrs. Cake hasn't budged from her position, and she glares at me as I walk back to her. "Look, I need to get past you," I tell her bluntly.

"That's not going to happen. Pinkie's in bad shape thanks to what you did," she avows, scoffing.

"Yeah, and clearly nothing you've said to her is helping her any, considering she's still in her room," I point out, and the flinch I get tells me my words are getting to her. "She's depressed because of something I said, and nothing anypony else says will change that fact in her mind."

"You're not helping your case," Mrs. Cake informs me. That's because I haven't finished talking yet, bitch.

"So if I were to take back everything I said, she'd have no reason to be sad. So how about you move now, and let me give you your friend back?" Despite what I said to Twilight, nothing I've said has been a lie.

"How can I be sure you won't just make it worse?" Mrs. Cake asks in an accusatory manner. Oh good, she's decided that now's a good time to distrust me. While smart, it's really just getting in my way now.

"Look I get that you're trying to protect her or whatever. But you're stopping me from apologizing to her. What kind of friend are you?" I demand. Mrs. Cake looks like I'd struck her. She seems like she's going to argue, but she thinks better of it, instead choosing to at last step aside and allow me access to the staircase at the back of shop.

"All right. She's upstairs, just behind the counter," Mrs. Cake says with a sigh. Finally. Now I can actually do what I came to do.

The three of us walk up the stairs at the back of the shop, where the bedrooms are located. Once we're up there, Twilight leads me to a particular room, which I assume is Pinkie's. "This is it. Give it your best shot." Twilight encourages me with a smile. Whatever.

I grab the door handle and pull, but it doesn't budge. Raising an eyebrow, I try pushing, but that doesn't work either. So it's locked. I give Twilight a meaningful look. She sighs and walks towards the door. "Pinkie, are you in there? Can you let us in?" she calls softly. Silence is her only response. That can't be good.

"Come on Pinks, open up!" Rainbow tries as well. This time we get a response.

"Go away! I don't want to annoy anypony any more than I already have," Pinkie's high pitched voice filters through the door. I can't help but groan and facepalm. What the hell...is she a child having a damn tantrum?

"Pinkie, nopony thinks you're annoying," Twilight attempts to reassure her friend, but once again silence greets her. Okay, no. This is just a waste of my time at this point.

"Okay, I've lost my patience," I growl, loud enough for Pinkie to hear me inside, judging by the gasp I hear. "I'm coming in, whether she likes it or not."

"Seth? What are you going to...no, wait!" Twilight protests as I stalk past her. Once I'm standing in front of Pinkie's door, I take quick moment to examine it. Perfect, it doesn't look that sturdy.

Twilight and Rainbow look at me in shock as I lift up my foot and kick the door hard just above the handle, breaking the flimsy lock. The door slams open inwards, hitting the wall and shaking violently.

I walk inside, getting a look at Pinkie's room as I do so. Strangely enough, it's circular, and rather large. There's even a damn fireplace in here. I guess she's a lot better off than I expected, considering...what, she works at a bakery? I don't think their salaries are that high.

Pinkie herself is lying on the bed opposite the room from me, and she looks somewhat different than I remember. Her mane is totally straight, for one, rather than that frizzy explosion it used to be. Maybe I'm seeing things, but her coat appears to be a darker shade of pink than I remember as well.

"Okay, enough of the pity party. Get up and talk to me," I order her callously. Pinkie stirs slightly, lifting her head and looking at me with sadness in her eyes. Damn, she looks pitiful. I feel a little guilty for causing her to be in this state. I was just trying to get her to leave me alone, not actually believe every word I said to her.

"Seth? What are you doing here?" Pinkie asks weakly, resting her head on the edge of the bed, sort of like a cat does. Before I answer, a thought strikes me. I turn back towards the door, and sure enough, Twilight and Rainbow are trying to get in.

"One second," I tell her. Then I grab the door and slam it shut in their faces. "You brought me here to do a job, now fuck off so I can do it!"

There, now I can have this conversation without them peering over my shoulder. "Now, the better question is, why are you still here, and not having fun with your friends?" I demand.

"Are they really my friends? How do I know they're not just tolerating me? You...you were right. You're not the first one to say I'm annoying," Pinkie laments, causing me to groan and rub my forehead. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"Don't be a dumb fuck. Yeah, they totally tolerate you. That's why they chased me down and brought me here to talk to you," I respond sarcastically. Pinkie flinches at my rough words, and then opens her mouth. "Idiot! Of course they care about you!"

"But...how can they care about an annoying pony like me?" Pinkie asks me pitifully. Oh for the love of god. Time to rip this problem out by the roots.

"Look. This isn't about them. It's about you and me. I said the things I did because they are true. To me. You just can't approach me in that manner, and not have me get annoyed," I explain to her carefully. Pinkie looks at me in confusion. So I didn't quite explain that well enough. "Every time we run into one another, you knock me over. I can't help but get a little pissed off."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you have fun. I've never seen you smile; I mean really really smile, not that little fake smile you sometimes put on," Pinkie responds. Her words...are actually somewhat touching, despite how stupid they sound. Who the hell thinks knocking someone over is a good way to help them have fun? But...she's perceptive enough to tell that almost every smile I put on is fake. And she wants to change that.

"That I don't understand. Why would you do that? What do you get out of seeing me smile?" I question honestly. I get tired of standing, so I move over to the bed and sit down next to her. Pinkie shifts to give me room.

"Because seeing anyone sad is enough to make me sad, and you always look sad, so I'm sad when I see you sad," Pinkie begins, and her wording is enough to make me pause a moment and try to make sense of it. "But if I make you smile, then I can smile, and everyone's happy."

"Wait, so you're telling me that the happiness of others is your happiness?" I ask, putting her reasoning into my own words to make sure I understood.

"Uh-huh," Pinkie confirms. I look at the ground, processing that. That sounds like total bullshit. When people said that to me back in my time, it's always bullshit. Everybody always wants something. People trying to make me "happy" were usually just sucking up to me so I'd help them in class, or to get me to buy stuff for them to reciprocate their "kindness." I always saw it coming, and I would never help them.

"Heh. You ponies never make sense," I comment wryly. "Anyway, I think it's time you got out of this room."

"But..." Pinkie starts, but she cuts off with a yelp when I grab her by the mane and drag her off the bed forcefully. She flails around and falls over, but she manages to scramble upright.

"No excuses. You get out there, and go make your friends smile. That's what you're good at, right?" I command her. Pinkie looks at me thoughtfully, and then she walks up to me, gets up on her hind legs, and wraps her front hooves around my chest in a hug. I nearly unbalance from. And here's yet another random pony hug. I really wish they'd stop doing this.

"Thank you. I know you still find me annoying, but I still want to be your bestest friend," Pinkie whispers to me. I raise an eyebrow at that.

"I don't really want friends...but telling you that isn't really going to stop you, huh," I remark. Pinkie lets go and steadies herself, and then she gives me a nod, a small smile gracing her face. "I thought as much. Now, I need to get going, so I'm leaving now."

Pinkie and I are walking towards the door when a sudden thought strikes me. I look at Pinkie, debating inwardly about whether or not I should actually say it. On one hand, it would make her super happy, but on the other, it would probably annoy the hell out of me. I shouldn't say it. It'll give her the wrong idea. But...she's still looking a little sad, which was my fault in the first place.

Ugh, I might as well. I hope I don't regret this. "Pinkie, if you still want to, I wouldn't be opposed to that welcome party you mentioned." I suggest hesitantly. The change in Pinkie's demeanor is immediate. She turns her head and looks at me with reserved excitement, almost as if she's having trouble believing her ears.

"R-r-really?!" Pinkie squeaks. Placing my hands in my pockets, I nod once. Suddenly, color returns to her coat and her straight and flat mane suddenly puffs up and frizzes out, returning to the way it was when I first met her. "WOOHOO! This is going to be the best. Party. EVER!"

I watch with a raised eyebrow as Pinkie dashes through the door, nearly bowling over Rainbow and Twilight, who had been, as I expected, leaning up against the door with their ears pressed to it. "Oh, hi girls!" Pinkie squeals happily, hugging the both of them tightly, and then she dashes away. "No time to talk, I have a party to plan!"

"Wait, Pinkie!" Twilight calls after her, but Pinkie is long gone. Her gazes turns to me as I leave the room as well.

"Nothing about that pony makes any kind of sense," I remark, shaking my head. Twilight smiles at me, and she steps forward and nuzzles me gently.

"Thank you, Seth. You didn't have to do anything after convincing her to leave," she expresses gratefully. My response is a grunt.

"Whatever. I didn't do it for you."

"Wasn't that more like a pep talk than an apology?" Rainbow inquires with a wry expression. "I mean, I never heard you say the word 'sorry' even once."

"Who cares? It worked, and that's all that really matters," I snap dismissively. Rainbow stares at me, and then she shrugs. "Anyhow, I need to leave. Applejack is expecting me."

"That's right, you have work to do. Wouldn't want you to go off schedule," Twilight recalls, chuckling nervously.

Now that that's out of the way, I can actually get on with my life. Or, what's left of it anyway. Back to working on that damn farm. Oh right...I promised Apple Bloom I'd play with her today. Now what did I go and do that for? I could have just said no, and opted to spend the evening alone for the first time since I got here, but no, I had to fall for that filly's cute expression...ugh.

We walk down the stairs and back through the kitchen, where Pinkie is rummaging through a closet excitedly. Mrs. Cake sees me walk past her, and our eyes meet. She still watches me guardedly, but I do see her give me a small smile and a nod. Huh, after being such a bitch, now she's recognizing my effort? Huh. She's practically admitting she was wrong to block me in the first place. Any human would have been too proud to do that. Okay, she can have a little of my respect.

Just before we leave the building, a clanging noise erupts from the kitchen, followed by a squeal. "Bake ALL the cupcakes!" Pinkie exclaims happily. Well, she's back to being happy and annoying. I suppose it's better than depressed and annoying.

When we walk outside, Twilight takes her leave from us, saying something about work back at the library. Whatever. At least she's gone now.

"Race you to AJ's?" Rainbow challenges, nudging me with her shoulder. Seriously? Yeah...she's looking to stroke her own ego again. Nope, not falling into that trap.

"Nah. You'd win anyway. I don't even know why you asked," I say. Rainbow pouts.

"Aw, lame. Come on, dude, you can't get faster if you don't try," she whines.

"Answer's still no."

"Ugh, fine. You're no fun." Rainbow accompanies me all the way to Sweet Apple Acres, and then she stops. "I gotta scram. First snows are coming tomorrow, so I gotta get those clouds ready to go."

"Right, whatever," I acknowledge with a wave of my hand. Rainbow's hoof hits that same hand, causing me to look at her oddly. She's grinning at me. Oh, she must have thought I'd been offering...a high hoof. Or whatever they call it.

"Later!" Rainbow is gone in a multicolored flash of light. Damn, it never fails to amaze me how fast she is. She can probably circle this town several times in the amount of time it would take me to cross through it once.

I see Applejack not long after walking through the arch into the farm. I actually need to ask her a question before I get started with today's work.

"Howdy there, Seth!" she greets me, tipping her hat. I give her a wordless nod in response. "Snow's comin' tomorrow, so we got lots o' work ta do."

"Before that, there's something I want to ask you," I interrupt her. Applejack tilts her head, curious. She's probably surprised, since I don't usually say more than two words to her.

"What's that, sugarcube?" she replies. I blink. That's...an odd nickname. What the fuck does that even mean? Is there a connotation to that? Does that mean I'm sweet? I don't even...whatever. I'll call her out on it if she says it again.

"Mind if I leave work a bit early today?" I pose the question to her with a casual expression on my face.

"Uh, what for?" Applejack seems perplexed by my question. Dammit, I'd been hoping she wouldn't ask. Guess I might as well tell the truth.

"I promised your sister I'd pick her up from school today," I confess, cursing myself for having agreed to it in the first place. Besides, I doubt Applejack will take kindly to this anyway. I mean, if I had been seen playing a little girl in my era, somebody would probably call the cops on me. Yeah, I'm serious. My generation was paranoid as fuck.

"Oh, really now?" Applejack now looks genuinely surprised, rather than mad like I expected. "In that case, by all means, ah'll letcha off early."

"Ugh, I knew it was a bad idea an...wait what? You will?" Yeah, I'm not proud to say that I was a little bit shocked that she'd agreed. Applejack chuckles at my double take.

"Actually, this works for me. Ah gotta delivery ta make ta Cheerilee anyway, a bit before school lets out," Applejack says thoughtfully. "Why don'tcha take it with you when ya go? Ah'll pay ya for the trip."

"Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Applejack."

"No problem, sugarcube." And there it is again. What does it mean?! Whatever...I'm too lazy to care right now. Especially since I'm about to not be lazy. If that makes any kind of sense.

Welp, time to get to work. Again.

---

Today's work is particularly grueling. Since winter officially starts tomorrow (despite the fact that it still feels as warm as spring. Someone tell me how that works), Applejack says we have to get all of the apples harvested. Since that's all we've been doing lately, I think we're about done with that.

I don't see much of Big MacIntosh until he shows up in the afternoon to relieve Applejack. Apparently that delivery she's making to Cheerilee is a bunch of apple pies that still need to be baked. So I'm left doing the same exact thing, only under Big MacIntosh. You know, I'm getting really tired of writing his name. I think I'll just call him Big Mac. Hah, like the burger. Which I'm now craving. Fuck.

Several hours later, when Big Mac and I are just about to start clearing the last few trees of apples, Applejack returns, with a cart full of steaming baked goods. And...oh, I can smell that from here. I haven't eaten since this morning, before we pulled that prank. I'm super hungry now. Thankfully I have four bits to my name, plus whatever I get from today.

"Howdy there! Ah got the delivery for ya," Applejack calls to me, coming to a halt a few feet from Big Mac and I. She unstraps herself from the cart and trots up to us. "Looks like yer doin' pretty good! Me'n Big Mac can take it from here."

Hah, even she calls him Big Mac. It's official. I'm calling him that forever. "Understood. I'll be back," I promised.

Now all I have to do is get this cart all the way to the school. Which is across town. Lovely. Slipping under the harness, I rest it on my shoulders, discovering that it's really not all that heavy. I just have to make sure I don't dislodge any of the food.

I begin my trek, knowing that this is essentially the end of my work day, even if I'm getting paid for it.

---

It is a really nice day, ironically enough. Heh, it feels like the weather back where I used to live. Warm one day, then cold as shit the next. Then again, I've technically still near the place I used to live, since all that's changed is the time I'm in. That's still weird to think about.

Anyhow, the point I was trying to get to, despite my rambling, is that I'm sweating. Pulling this cart, even if it's not that heavy, is still a real chore. I'm so glad I'm getting paid for this. Money makes everything tolerable.

While I'm walking, I become aware of a peculiar sensation. It's like there's a kind of pressure in the middle of my chest, beneath my sternum. I press my hand against it while I walk in an attempt to discern the source, but to no avail. It doesn't matter where I press, I can't feel anything wrong. It's like having one of those mild sore throats where it doesn't really hurt, but you just feel a strange sense of wrongness at the back of your throat, and you can't feel it no matter where on your throat you look. It's like that, only in my chest. Huh, it's probably just strain from pulling this damn cart.

Well, that can't be right either. Now that I think about it, I've been feeling this same pressure for a while now, ever since...well, ever since I woke up in this damn world. It's just never been as pronounced as it is now. Maybe I should go see a doctor or something. With that resolution, I ignore the pressure and push thoughts about it to the back of my mind.

Doesn't look like any ponies are outside the schoolhouse. I suppose they're still in the middle of a lesson. Not that I care either way. I doubt my job will be considered done if I just leave this cart outside the school. In other words, I'm probably going to end up interrupting the lesson to let Cheerilee know her shit is here.

I leave the cart by the front entrance to the schoolhouse and move towards the door. I can hear the Cheerilee talking from here, as well as the eager voices of the foals inside. Just as I expected, I'm going to be interrupting a lesson.

I pull the door open and step inside. The eyes of several of the foals turn to look at me, and once they see what I am, I get various reactions.

"Oh look, it'th the human!"

"Wow, what is that thing?"

"It looks scary..."

"Seth!" That voice I know. Apple Bloom, who's sitting near the front of the class, waves energetically at me, beaming with happiness. Next to her are Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, neither of whom look very happy to see me. I can also see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the former of whom is giving me a cool look. Ignoring them, I return Apple Bloom's greeting with a lazy two fingered wave.

"Calm down everypony. If you'll just give me one moment, class, we can continue the lesson." Cheerilee tells the foals. She canters up to me with an inquisitive expression on her face. "Hello, Seth. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Nope. I'm here on the clock. Got a shipment of food waiting for you outside," I tell her, keeping my tone professional. I haven't said more than a few words to this teacher, so being formal with her is necessary, especially if I'm on the job. If there's one thing I've learned about the business world, it's that everything you do as an employee is reflected back on your employer.

"Oh, thank you so much for bringing it. I wasn't aware you were working for Applejack, though." Cheerilee is also being formal. Not overly friendly, but not being a bitch, either. She's not too bad to deal with.

"Yes ma'am. I signed up with her several days ago," I reply stiffly. "Now if you'll excuse me. My apologies for disturbing your lesson."

"It's no trouble. From the looks of it, I might have to start teaching history next," Cheerilee jokes, indicating the curious and awe-filled faces of the class. "Say, would you like to come in some time, and talk to my students about your culture?"

"I'll think about it, ma'am," I lie, remembering to be polite. Yeah, fuck no. I'm not telling anypony a thing about my people. I'll make sure to tell her that when I'm not on the clock. "Have a nice day."

"You too!" Cheerilee says to me as I move towards the door. Then, just before I leave, I remember that I had another purpose for coming here.

"Apple Bloom," I call. Me calling her name causes several of the students to look between Apple Bloom and I. I think I can even see...what is that, jealousy? Seriously, Diamond Tiara? I didn't think you were that butthurt about me not talking to you earlier. Anyway, Apple Bloom looks back at the mention of her name. "I'll be outside by the flagpole when you're done."

With that, I leave the building, walking down the few steps and directing my path towards the flagpole I mentioned. I wonder why they even have a flag. I mean, the flags at the schools where I'm from were always the national flag, so you'd think they'd do the same. But I doubt Equestria's national flag is a plain red triangle. I guess they do things differently in this era.

I think about thirty minutes or so passes before the school bell rings. Though why the school bell rings instead of...you know...the teacher telling the students in the one room school that it's time to leave?

I hear the students talking excitedly as they leave the schoolhouse, probably deciding what to do with the rest of their day. I notice Apple Bloom and her two friends walk out as well, but they don't get very far before they stop and look behind them. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walk out next, meeting them. I guess they were the ones that called to Apple Bloom and the others. Which is odd...I thought they weren't friends, especially with how Scootaloo talks about them.

I take a few steps forward until I can hear what they're talking about. Yeah it's eavesdropping, but sue me, I want to know.

"How come you're the one that gets to see him?" Diamond Tiara snaps at Apple Bloom. Huh? Who's him? Some foal she's interested in?

"Because he's ma friend," Apple Bloom answers, confused. That answer serves only to infuriate Diamond.

"As if! A historical being like him would never want to be friends with a loser like you," Diamond scoffs, regarding Apple Bloom with a glare. Oh...they're talking about me. I guess Diamond Tiara really is jealous, for whatever reason. Diamond adopts a devious expression. "In fact, I heard him say that he 'had no need for your friendship.'"

Oh...she did not just...she's...that bitch! Apple Bloom looks like she'd been slapped. She recovers quickly, though. "Yeah raht. Seth would never say somethin' like that! You can't fool me!"

"You think I'm lying? Of course you do, you sad foal. Oh no, he really did say that, didn't he, Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara responds coolly. I can't help but feel my blood run cold for some reason. Why is this affecting me so much? That pressure that had been in my chest before comes back, stronger than before.

"Yeah he did! We asked him if he was friends with you, and then he said it!" Silver Spoon chimed in.

"That...that can't be raht..." Apple Bloom trails off, looking at the ground. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, for some reason, aren't backing their friend up. Perhaps it's because they'd prefer Apple Bloom hate me?

"Oh, Apple Bloom, you really shouldn't be so surprised. There's nothing for him to like about a bunch of blank flanks like yourselves," Diamond Tiara admonishes her with a sneer. "I'm sure he'd much rather spend time with somepony as rich and classy, like us."

"Definitely!" Silver Spoon adds. I can't think. For some reason, this is making me really angry. I don't know why.

"Lay off, Diamond Tiara!" Scootaloo shoots back, finally coming to the aid of her friend. Diamond just laughs derisively.

"I don't think I will. Apple Bloom, why don't you bring him over here to talk to us?" Diamond suggests.

"Seth, would you mind doing me a favor?" The image of a girl with blonde hair shoots through my mind, causing me to rub my forehead. That's the last thing I want to remember. I need to calm down.

"Why would ah do that? Seth shouldn't have ta deal with ponies like you," Apple Bloom shoots back.

"No, I'm sick of your goddamn favors."

"Apple Bloom. Do you remember that time I lent you money so you could buy those tools the other day?" Diamond says casually. I freeze. She...tell me she's not...I can't...

"Must I remind you of the things I did for you the night before?"

"It won't be pleasant for you if you refuse." Diamond's words seem to merge with the ones from my memories. Something inside of me snaps. I get to my feet, shaking with rage. Then, it's like my feet are moving on their own. Wind rushes through my hair as I rapidly close the distance between me and the fillies. My gaze is riveted upon Diamond Tiara. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I'm going to teach that bitch a lesson. No one else, especially Apple Bloom, is going to suffer what I did.

"Ah, there you are, Seth. Mind telling these blank fl..." Diamond Tiara gloats triumphantly at first, but when she sees how rapidly I'm moving towards her, as well as the rage filled glare I'm giving her, she realizes that something isn't right. "Wait, what are y..."

Diamond cuts off with a strained gurgle as my right hand closes around her throat like a vice. I lift her clear off of the ground, adrenaline giving me strength. The other fillies gasp in horror as I carry her over to a nearby tree out of sight of the front door and slam her into the trunk hard enough to crack the bark, her tiara falling to the ground from the shock. "You..." I'm so angry I can hardly put together the words in my mind. "I won't let you...!"

"Seth, what are ya doin'?!" Apple Bloom exclaims, galloping over to us, along with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Silver Spoon. "Please stop!"

"You think you can just...order ponies around like you own them?!" I snarl into Diamond's flushed, terrified face. "You have no right! Don't you understand that you make the lives of the ponies you torment aliving hell?"

"Diamond Tiara!" Silver Spoon cries out, rushing to help her friend. I deal her a swift kick in the flank, sending the small filly sprawling through the dirt, cracking her glasses and causing her necklace to break, pearls scattering everywhere. The pressure in my chest feels almost like it's trying to get loose, but I somehow manage to hold it back mentally.

"Calling Apple Bloom a loser? For what? Not having a special talent? Look at yourself, you fucker! What the hell kind of talent does a tiara symbolize anyway? Is it supposed to signify that you're rich? Or is your talent being a useless spoiled brat who gets her kicks out of ruining the lives of others?!" The words just won't stop. Diamond Tiara struggles and gasps for air in my grip, but there's no way I'm letting her go.

"Please, Seth, that's enough!" Apple Bloom begs me, but I'm past hearing her.

"Apple Bloom is a million times better than you. She has a future to look forward to, unlike you, who will probably live eating out of your father's hoof for the rest of your life, thinking the world owes you something!" I bring my face dangerously close to hers. "Here's something you may not know. The world doesn't owe you shit."

With that, I finally drop her. Diamond hits the ground and gulps in precious air, holding a hoof to her neck. Her eyes are wide and traumatized, which gives me a sense of grim satisfaction. Then, she glares at me, panting. "You...won't...my father..."

"That's right. Call your father. Prove me right, you worthless waste of space," I cut her off with a snarl.

Diamond is silent as she tries to regain her breath. She reaches for her tiara, which is right next to me. Yeah, I don't think so. I stomp my foot down on it, breaking the fragile thing with a crunch. Diamond's cry of anguish tells me that I had broken something important to her.

I notice the other ponies looking at me with fright. Even Apple Bloom is looking at me in shock. What...what the hell...why are you looking at me like that? I helped you...and...fuck this. Fuck you, and fuck this. I whirl around and storm away from them, leaving the school behind. I don't know where I'm going, but I want to be alone, so it doesn't matter where I go.

Why did I let myself lose my temper like that? So what if she was doing to Apple Bloom the same thing Janna did to me? She's not my friend, so it shouldn't be my problem. Then why...ugh, I can't think straight!

Following the path leads me to the river, which instead of crossing to go back in town, I follow it until I reach a place where a railroad crosses it with a bridge. There's a set of stairs that lead down underneath the bridge, probably for maintenance purposes. It looks abandoned right now, which is perfect for me.

Under the bridge, it's very dim, as the only light comes from the sun peeking through the gaps in the bridge. The river flows serenely past me, the sound serving to calm me down a bit.

I feel like shit. I guess Apple Bloom is terrified of me now. I guess she won't talk to me anymore. That's for the best, I suppose. It's better for them to stay away. That's what I keep telling myself, so why does it still hurt?

My fist pounds into the stone, the pain making my feelings easier to deal with. Fuck you Janna. This is your fault. I wouldn't be so messed up if it weren't for you. "FUCK!" I yell aloud, the sound echoing through the enclosed area. Heh...I know what it is. I guess Diamond Tiara essentially became Janna in my mind. Icertainly would beaten Janna to a pulp if I saw her there, so...I guess it's really no surprise I took everything out on Diamond. I feel a little bad, though, because I'd essentially yelled at a young girl.

"Seth?" a timid voice calls down from the stairs. At first I think I'm hearing things. At least, until I hear it again. "Are ya down there?"

I look sharply to see the shadow of a single filly on the staircase. That voice...what the fuck is Apple Bloom doing here? "Yeah," I say hesitantly. Why the hell is she here? Isn't she supposed to be frightened of me? I saw her face when I dropped Diamond Tiara. She was terrified.

Apple Bloom walks down the stairs, the clopping of her hooves echoing eerily off of the walls. I don't look at her as she walks to my side. She places her two front hooves on my leg and looks up at me. "Are ya okay?" she asks simply.

"Do I look like I'm fucking okay?" I snap at her. Apple Bloom recoils at the venom in my tone. Immediately I regret shouting at her. "Sorry...I just...dammit."

"What did Diamond Tiara do ta make ya so mad like that? I ain't never seen anyone that mad before," Apple Bloom asks me gently. When I look down at her, I realize that at some point she'd crawled into my lap. I don't know what she's trying to accomplish with that. Without thinking about it, I reach a hand down and start stroking her back like I would a cat's. Looking back at that, it's not that odd. My parents owned two cats, and whenever I'd visit, they'd love to spend time on my lap. That's probably the subconscious connection I made.

"It's not fair. It's just not fair," I growl, rubbing my forehead with my free hand. "How can she think she can manipulate others like pawns? I've had it happen to me, and look how I turned out."

"What? Diamond Tiara bullied you too?" Apple Bloom asks, not understanding. I sigh and shake my head.

"No. It's something that happened a long time ago. Way before you were born," I explain vaguely. I wait to see her nod before I continue. "Everyone used me and then threw me away once they couldn't use me anymore. I couldn't let that happen to somepony else. Especially not you."

"So...ya did that fer...me?" Apple Bloom asks, understanding dawning on her face.

"You're not a bad filly, nothing like the girls I used to know that were your age." My answer doesn't really answer her question, but it makes her happy nonetheless. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like I did. But I meant everything I said."

"Ya didn't say nothin' ah didn't agree with, but ya didn't have ta hurt her," Apple Bloom chides me, reaching up and bopping my nose lightly with a hoof.

"I know...and her father is probably going to give me trouble," I admit. I scratch her behind the ears, like I would a cat. "I'm not sorry for the things I said. But I am sorry for frightening you."

"Aw, it's all raht. ah know ya wouldn't hurt me. But...there is somethin' ah do have ta ask," Apple Bloom says, looking at me seriously. "Do ya consider me a friend?"

I freeze. Dammit, filly, did you have to put me on the spot like this? I don't know how to answer. I'm not comfortable calling her my friend, but I don't hate her. I don't even dislike her. Dammit, what do I say?

"I...can't answer that question," I confess honestly. Apple Bloom's face falls at that, and a pang of guilt shoots through me.

"Why not? Is it somethin' about me?" she asks sadly.

"No. Don't even think that. It's just...it's complicated," I correct her softly. Apple Bloom nods, but I can tell she doesn't really understand.

"Are ya still goin' ta come play?" Apple Bloom inquires innocently, looking up at me with that adorable expression again.

"Wait, you still want me to? Even after all that?"

"Yeah! Ah got so much ah wanna show ya!" she exclaims, hopping off my lap and heading towards the way out. "So are ya coming?"

I pause. I did promise her I'd play with her today. Even after this shit with Diamond happened, she still wants to play. If only I could look past the faults of others like she does.

"Yeah. Let's go play."

---

Hoo. And now the end of the arc is in sight. This is the climax of the arc, though don't worry. Like Hamlet (can't believe I'm comparing the two. Thank you literature classes .), the falling action will be even more epic than the climax. At least, that's what I've got planned.

Now I would like feedback on this chapter, because I know what I wanted to happen in the talk with Pinkie and the incident with Diamond, but I'm not sure how well I pulled it off. I'd be grateful for anything you guys can provide.

"So what exactly did you have in mind?" I address Apple Bloom curiously, as we walk up the stairs back to the main road. I don't know why, but whenever I picture fillies playing, all I can think about is hide and seek, tag, or live action roleplaying. I blame Skyrim for that, since that's the only damn games your adopted kids wanted to play. Which was super easy, since all I had to do was stand on a rock they can't climb and watch them run in circles screaming "Where are you, daddy?!" While the whole time I'm laughing my ass off.

"Oh, well ah wanna show ya our clubhouse! It's where the Cutie Mark Crusaders hold their meetings!" Apple Bloom responds eagerly. Okay, what. That name. What the fuck is that, and why is it causing my right eye to twitch spasmodically?

"The what?"

"Cutie Mark Crusaders! It's our secret society. We're lookin' fer our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom explains, and I can't resist the temptation to facepalm. That's...so fucking dumb. Cutie Mark Crusaders...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at how ridiculously dumb that sounds. What have I gotten myself into?

"Secret...society. So you mean you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo," I deduce with a flat tone.

"Yup!" Apple Bloom's enthusiastic response causes me to rub my forehead. "It's also really warm out, so we can go swimming too. Do ya like swimming?"

"I suppose it can be relaxing. Though if we're going to do that, we'll need to stop by Vinyl's place to grab my swim trunks," I reply thoughtfully. Now that she mentioned it, floating on my back in cool water sounds really good, especially with this weather.

"Huh? Why can't ya just take off ya clothes and hop raht in?" Apple Bloom questions me, perplexed. I blanch at that question. Yeah, there's no way I'm explaining that to a damn filly.

"For reasons I'm not explaining. It's a human thing," is my terse response.

"Oh. Okay. I dunno the way ta Vinyl's house," Apple Bloom says, blinking. She accepted that explanation a little too easily, if you ask me. Or maybe she's just respecting my secrets. Man, that's why I hate dealing with people, or ponies in this case. You never know what they're thinking.

"Follow me then," I tell her. Apple Bloom nods, and then we finally return to the path. Of course, the world seems to have it out for me. Because Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are standing on the path near us, gasping when they see me with Apple Bloom. I guess they followed her here. "Or, THAT could happen. Fucking...!"

"Hey, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo. Ah found 'im!" Apple Bloom exclaims happily. Scootaloo's frightened expression turns to one of worry and anger, while Sweetie Belle watches me with an unreadable expression. I wonder what she's thinking.

"Apple Bloom, get away from him. That human is dangerous!" Scootaloo orders her friend, jabbing a hoof at me. Great, I so don't want to fucking deal with this.

"Scootaloo, he's mah friend! Ah ain't just gonna leave him," Apple Bloom argues, not budging. I turn and start walking away.

"I'm leaving. I'll meet you at the farm," I grunt.

"Yeah, get out of here, you freak!" Scootaloo calls after to me. My shoulders shake angrily, but this time I can control myself. Scootaloo is just a prick, not scum like Diamond Tiara.

I don't get much farther before tiny hooves close around my leg, causing me to stumble. "What the..." I look down to see Apple Bloom clinging onto my leg.

"No, please don't go. Scootaloo's just lookin' out fer me, that's all," she pleads, once again wearing that adorable expression that I just can't fucking deny, no matter how much I steel my heart.

"Fucking...fine. You deal with them. I'll sit here and twiddle my damn thumbs or something," I relent. Once Apple Bloom releases me, she smiles and walks back to her friends.

"Ah'll be raht back. Don't ya go anywhere now," she tells me sternly. I scoff and sit down on the riverbank, dangling my legs over the edge. Recently, I've taken to walking around barefoot, since my shoes are pieces of shit now. The streets and grass are soft enough for it not to really hurt, but I'm getting annoyed having to wash off eighty layers of dirt every time I take a shower. It sucks, because I doubt these ponies will have shoes that'll fit me.

"Why is he still here?" Scootaloo demands angrily.

"Why do ya hate 'im so much?" Apple Bloom asks pleadingly, preferring to tackle the problem right at its root. Scootaloo looks shocked at such a question.

"What are you talking about? Every time we've met him, he's been a jerk, and now he's hurt somepony! How can I not hate him?"

"Scoots, there's more ta him than that. While ah don't like how he dealt with Diamond Tiara, ah understand it. Seth's not a simple guy. Ya can't be his friend without willin' ta look beneath the surface," Apple Bloom protests, rather eloquently I might add. Damn...I take it back. She doesn't act mature for her age, she is mature. How the hell does a filly this young act so responsibly? Is it because she works hard on the farm everyday?

"How? How can you keep saying that? Rainbow said the same thing earlier, but nothing he's done has proved her right. There's nothing on the inside worth knowing!" Scootaloo is practically shouting now. Every word she says cuts right into me. Damn...it doesn't matter how many times you hear yourself insulted. It hurts every damn time, especially if they're right. Which she is.

"The better question is, why ain't ya even tryin'? Yer just judgin' him by what ya see on the outside. Don't that make ya the same as Diamond Tiara?" Apple Bloom's words take me by surprise. That's a daring thing to say, especially to a friend. Scootaloo is rendered speechless by that, shocked that her friend would compare her to their worst enemy.

"You..!" Scootaloo begins, but I stop paying attention after that, because my vision is suddenly filled by Sweetie Belle, who's looking at me tentatively.

"Hey...can I talk to you real quick?" Sweetie asks me hesitantly, as if unsure how I'd respond. Which is a decent assumption, because I don't know how to respond. What the hell would she want from me?

"What do you want? You made it pretty clear how unwelcome I am," I answer her sullenly, lifting a rock from the riverbank and throwing it into the water with a plunk. Sweetie Belle takes that as permission, so she gets closer.

"I had time to think about what I saw, and...well...I think if my sister ever found out about the way Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were treating us," Sweetie Belle begins, choosing her words carefully. "I think she would have done the same thing. Probably not as...violent...but that's just how protective she is."

"And your point?" I grunt impatiently. Where are you going with this, Sweetie Belle?

"I wanted to ask you something. Were you being protective of Apple Bloom, when you attacked Diamond?" Sweetie asks. Her question takes me by surprise, and I look at her oddly. Then I start thinking. How do I answer that question?

Honestly, all I'd thought about when I lost my temper was Janna, and how it felt like I was seeing her again in the form of a pony, tormenting a pony that I actually didn't hate, or even dislike. I wanted to stop Janna from hurting anypony the same way she hurt me...and...you know what? Now that I made that connection, I think I can honestly say that Sweetie Belle is onto something.

"I...suppose I was," I admit, both to her and to myself. Sweetie Belle stares at me for a long time, while I hear Apple Bloom and Scootaloo arguing heatedly in the background.

"Tell me ah'm wrong!" Apple Bloom is yelling.

"I...you..." Scootaloo is stammering. Huh, seems like she's losing the argument.

Then, Sweetie Belle smiles at me, and she does something totally unexpected. Yeah, she's the next pony to fucking hug me, wrapping her little hooves around my arm, since she's too small to really hug me.

"What the...I thought you hated me too?" I demand incredulously.

"Well, I didn't like you, but...if you really were being protective, then my sister was right. There really is more to you than I thought," Sweetie Belle explains. Of course, it doesn't make any more sense. Why do all these ponies keep thinking the best of me? No matter how mean or vicious I am, they're always coming back to me, being friendly, generous, and loving. I don't get it. I just don't fucking get it.

Ponies that hate me are changing their minds about me without me really doing anything that would warrant that. First is was Rarity, then it was Rainbow, and now it's Sweetie Belle. Three times is no fluke. Something's up, and I can't just blame it on Twilight like I did before. I haven't seen her talking to Rarity, and I know Sweetie Belle never talked to Twilight since I met her. So what the fuck is really going on?

"I...need some time. I'm gonna go home for tonight," I hear Scootaloo say. Sweetie Belle lets go of me at that and moves to go join her friends, probably to figure out what's going on. In fact, once I see Scootaloo gallop away, I decide to get up and join them myself, now that two of the three of them don't hate me for whatever reason.

"Sorry, Seth. Scootaloo means well. She jus' needs a bit o' time," Apple Bloom assures me when she notices me returning. When she noticed Sweetie Belle's smile, Apple Bloom raises an eyebrow. "Sweetie Belle, where were ya durin all that? ah 'spected you ta agree with Scoots."

"I sorta did. But I can see what you mean now. I went and talked to him myself," Sweetie Belle explains. I start getting somewhat irritated, seeing as everypony is talking about me like I'm not even there.

"Yes, yes, everything is sunshine and happiness. Can we go now? I'm sick of standing around," I cut across them, crossing my arms.

"Yeah! We still gotta stop by yer place, right?" Apple Bloom exclaims, scampering to my side.

"It's not my place, it's Vinyl's. But yes. Come with me, I know the way," I correct her. She doesn't seem to pay attention to that though, instead doing that little "squee" thing ponies all seem to be able to do. I don't even.

"Um...can I come too?" Sweetie Belle asks hesitantly. The two of us look at her with surprise.

"You wanna come play too?" Apple Bloom looks really happy at her friend's show of interest. Sweetie Belle nods shyly. "Seth, can Sweetie come?"

"Whatever," I reply nonchalantly, and they appear to take it as a yes. I start walking, and the two of them fall in step on either side of me.

Now that we're out of that whole awkward situation, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle start talking about random shit, like the things they learned in class, or different ideas to earn their cutie marks. Nothing that I really care to talk about. It's only when they fall silent and Apple Bloom starts humming.

She's not bad, and it doesn't really strike me as odd until Sweetie Belle starts singing. Yeah, I'm not kidding. She's actually singing to Apple Bloom's song. Like, either they rehearsed it, or this is some of the most badass improvisation I've ever seen.

I gotta write this down, because I love music, and this was really good. Sweetie Belle's voice really blows me away. For a filly her age, a voice like that is almost unheard of.

So the way this starts is Apple Bloom starts...what's the technical word for this...hell I don't know. Basically she forms the rhythm by singing various vowels in such a way that it sounds almost like musical accompaniment. Like the kind of stuff you'd hear in a barbershop quartet or something. Then Sweetie Belle adds her voice.

"The summer season passes without a fight

the last breath before winter light

We walk side by side with a deep mystery

Playing through the pages of history."

Yeah, I think this is good. So imagine my shock when Apple Bloom stops being rhythm and the two of them join together for the chorus. Get this: the two of them harmonize perfectly together. It gave me chills how well their voices blended together.

"Time passes with out an end

But we stay by you

our mysterious friend

Out of the blue

Our happiness we will lend

At last, something new!"

What in the..those lyrics. Are they talking about me? How the hell did they come up with notes, harmonies, and words so quickly, with such a rigid rhyme scheme? I don't...damn these fillies are talented. When Apple Bloom starts the next verse, Sweetie Belle takes over the rhythm. I can't help but hum a bit myself. It's catchy.

This verse is just a repeat of the first, but it has a whole new twist on it thanks to Apple Bloom's unique voice. It has her accent filtered into it, I mean.

By the time they finish the song, we're standing in front of Vinyl's house. The fillies just look at me expectantly, seeming to completely disregard the fact that they just randomly sang. I walk in, again without knocking. Vinyl is sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looks up in surprise at my entry. "Dude, I wasn't expecting you back til much later," she remarks, shutting the book.

"Yeah, I'm not here for long. I'm here to grab something, then I'm heading back to the farm," I explain. Before she can answer, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle scamper into the house, being as loud as fillies can be.

"Oh wow, this is where Seth lives!" Apple Bloom gasps in awe, looking around.

"Gosh, you live with Vinyl Scratch! So cool!" Sweetie exclaims, dashing around the couch. Vinyl puts on the most perfect WTF face I've ever seen as the two fillies run around in the living room.

"Apparently you brought friends," Vinyl observes, stating the obvious. I give her an askance glance.

"I wouldn't really call them my friends. They sort of just...follow me around," I remark, indicating the rambunctious duo of fillies. Vinyl sighs in what seems to be disappointment.

"Oh, hey Seth, can we see yer room?" Apple Bloom asks enthusiastically, zipping to a halt just in front of me.

"No. That room is my sanctuary. I don't let ponies inside, except for Vinyl since she owns it, and Rainbow because she won't take no for an answer," I retort, getting disappointed "awws," from the two fillies. "I need to go change. Stay here."

"Hey girls, while he's changing, why don't you come take a look at my sweet tables?" Vinyl suggests, saving me from having to talk any further. The two fillies seem satisfied with that, so I'm not bothered as I climb the stairs and enter my room.

I take my swim trunks out of the dresser and glance at them skeptically. Even though they stretch, it still looks too small for me. Let's see if I'll be hating Rarity after I try this on. Slipping out of my jeans and boxers, I carefully fold them up and leave them on the desk. They're stained with a little sweat, since I wasn't really getting down and dirty, so I should be able to wear them tomorrow to work before having to wash them.

Well, Rarity was right about them stretching. They stretch to a crazy size so that I can get them on, and then they snap back to my skin and cling to it snugly. Unfortunately, there's a slight problem with the crotch area. It fits me very snugly. I curse looking at it. What the fuck, Rarity? Do you think I'm a girl? This looks like it was made without male anatomy in mind and...whelp...I just figured out why. I remember reading somewhere (I don't remember where, which disturbs me) that stallions have sheaths to hide their dicks in, as eloquent as that is. That's probably why she designed them the way she did. Well, fuck, so I'm basically wearing a cross between shorts and a damn speedo.

...Yeah there's no fucking way I'm walking through town wearing this. I unfold my jeans and put them on over my suit. I'll take them off when I get to the lake. Until then, they're staying on.

When I walk down the stairs, I can hear the two fillies giggling and Vinyl laughing uproariously for whatever reason. Turning the corner, I see them in the kitchen, where for some reason, there's an egg balanced on Vinyl's horn, yet there's no juice coming out. What the hell did I miss?

"Okay, let's go or whatever," I say, walking into the kitchen without warning. My sudden entrance startles Vinyl, and she loses coordination, and the egg falls to the ground...or it would have if Vinyl hadn't been quick to grab it with magic. "Vinyl...exactly what were you doing?"

"Winning a bet," Vinyl gloats. "All right you two, I want to hear success stories the next time I see you, all right?"

"You will!" the two fillies chime in together, and then they turn to me.

"Um, weren't ya goin' ta change?" Apple Bloom questions, not noticing a difference in my attire.

"I did. I'm wearing my trunks under these pants," I explain. Apple Bloom nods, and then she grabs my leg, pulling me towards the door.

"Let's go, we're runnin' out o' time!" Apple Bloom exclaims. Her enthusiasm causes me to smile a bit. She reminds me a bit of myself when I was small and innocent.

"All right, I'm going."

---

It's a fairly short trip back to Sweet Apple Acres. The work day is just ending, so I should probably go and get my pay, but...eh, I'll probably just grab it after Apple Bloom gets sick of me. Applejack will understand. If not, well fuck her.

"Should we go see the clubhouse first, or go swimming?" Apple Bloom asks me, grinning up at me adorably. Dammit...being this cute should be a crime. I swear, that's the only reason I let her stick around. Yeah, that's what it is.

"Eh, let's go swimming first. I'm tired and want to relax," I reply, pleased that I get to make the decision. Maybe this playing thing won't be so bad after all. For some reason, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchange glances. What's that all about?

"Cool! The swimming pool is this way, come on!" Apple Bloom responds, and then she takes off like a rocket past the barn and towards the apple orchard. While her energy is somewhat refreshing, I don't feel the need to run after her, like Sweetie Belle does. No, I just walk briskly, my hands in my pockets.

The "swimming pool," as she called it, isn't anything like I expected. When one says swimming pool, they thing chlorinated water with tiled boundaries. Yeah, not this one.

I'm standing at the top of the small cliff that hangs above a decently sized lake. The drop off from this thing isn't that high, which I discover after walking up to the edge and peering down into the water. It's pretty clean water too, since I can see right down to the bottom, which is rather sandy. I wonder if that's natural, or if it's intentional.

Apple Bloom gives a whoop as she zooms off the edge of the cliff, splashing into the water. Sweetie soon follows her in, landing right next to her. The displaced water from Sweetie's fall soaks Apple Bloom, and she splutters. When Sweetie emerges, Apple Bloom splashes her in revenge, and the two engage in an all out splash war.

I strip off my clothes and fold them over the branches of a nearby tree, so they won't get wet. I do the same with my rifle. I shiver a bit as my body gets used to the change in temperature. It feels like I'm wearing only boxers, even though I'm not. It's an odd feeling. I'm gonna get in the water now, so I stop feeling awkward.

I stand at the edge, debating whether or not to jump in directly, or enter the lake from the bottom and walk in slowly. Wait a minute, where did those fillies go? I don't see them in the lake anymore.

I hear muffled giggling behind me, prompting me to turn around. Before I even get halfway turned around, I hear Apple Bloom yell, "Now!" and then suddenly both fillies lunge at me with their front hooves outstretched. Sweetie collides with my lower legs, and Apple Bloom hits my chest. Taken by surprise, I yelp and unbalance, falling backwards off of the cliff.

Just in time, I manage to plug my nose and brace myself, so when I hit the water, it doesn't hurt and I don't swallow any lake water. I sink all the way to the bottom, the water chilling my skin and giving me goosebumps.

Breaking the surface with a gasp, I glare at the two offending fillies, who are rolling around on the top of the hill, laughing at their success. Great, I'd been hoping to keep my hair mostly dry, because it's a pain to take care of when it's wet.

"Hee hee, look at 'im! He's all soakin'!" Apple Bloom giggles, pointing a hoof at me.

"I guess you could say he 'fell' for it!" Sweetie Belle jokes, making a pun so bad it makes me groan and facepalm.

"Congratulations, you pushed a human off a cliff. Proud of yourselves?" I return sarcastically, swimming over to the edge of the lake and hoisting myself out. Judging by how they continue to laugh and do that...fuck it, even if it's not technically correct, I'm just going to call it a high five. So they high fived, so I think they are proud of themselves. Well, it's time to change that.

Sweetie Belle sees me coming, her eyes widening when she sees me cracking my knuckles. She immediately leaps off of the cliff into the water to escape my incoming wrath. Apple Bloom doesn't notice me until I'm already there. She yelps and tries to copy Sweetie Belle, but I reach down and scoop her up into my arms. "Oh no you don't," I growl playfully, mussing up her mane with my free hand.

"Aah! Lemme go!" Apple Bloom cries, giggling despite her plight. I lift her up and hurl her off of the edge...or at least I would have, if she hadn't clung to my hand with all four hooves. I shake my hand, but she doesn't budge.

"Let go, you little rascal." I reach over my other hand in an attempt to pry off her hooves, but she grabs onto that one as well and scurries up my arm like a fucking ninja pony. She attempts to jump off my shoulder to the ground.

"You'll never catch m...eep!" Apple Bloom's boast is cut short as I reach my right hand over my head and grab her back hoof. I pull her back in, but she soon escapes my grip. The two of us then engage in a weird little game where I keep trying to grab her and throw her, and she keeps slipping around me, also like a ninja pony.

Okay, that's enough of this. I manage to grab her around the chest, but I can tell she's about to slip free again. Instead of letting her, this time I seize the moment to rush forward and jump off the cliff, taking her with me.

"Geronimo, motherfuckers!" I yell out triumphantly as Apple Bloom squeals in exhilaration, and then we both hit the water with a colossal splash.

I find that when we break the surface, Sweetie Belle is finding this whole thing hilarious. "I guess you weren't fast enough, Apple Bloom!" she teases her friend, who is giggling and spluttering, looking sheepish. She turns to splash me, but I've gone underwater.

You see, I have this thing about people (or ponies) who gloat. I tend to exact revenge, you see. As I undulate my body through the water, I orient myself on the kicking legs of Sweetie Belle that are keeping her afloat.

Sweetie Belle squeaks in shock when I emerge from the water behind her. Before she can move, I wrap my arms around her. "Better hold your nose," I warn her as I place a hand on top of her head.

"Wait, no no no...!" Sweetie protests right before I dunk her under the water. Apple Bloom laughs uproariously when her friend comes back up with her mane all over the place. "That wasn't fair..."

"Oh, and knocking me off a cliff was? Don't prank someone if you're not willing to get pranked in return," I counter, fixing my hair so that it isn't poking at my eyes. Of course, that becomes all pointless when Sweetie Belle splashes me in retaliation. "Okay, this means war."

The three of us engage in a ridiculous splash war over the next few minutes. Well, by splash war, I mean they splash me while I chase after them to dunk them. I'd been hoping to relax and float on my back or something, but I seem to have forgotten how taxing it is to do that with fillies around. Ah well, I'm having fun just fucking around.

After we get tired of that, I somehow get suckered into playing some of their filly games, some of which hold a remarkable resemblance to some of the games human children would play. Like we play something a little like Marco Polo, only instead of saying that, the fillies insisted on saying "Daring Do," though I have no fucking idea who that's supposed to be.

"Do! Aw come on, Seth, yer peekin'!" Apple Bloom complains after I grab her.

"It's not my fault you make so much noise when splashing around," I respond. "Now where the hell are you, Sweetie? Daring!"

There's another game we play as well. It's literally just catch, except they assign some sort of point values depending on how you catch the ball. Like, Apple Bloom throws the ball a little too high, and so I toss Sweetie Belle up so she can grab it, which earns the both of us fifty points: twenty points for catching it, and thirty for style. No one is really supposed to win, it's all for fun. Which is good, since I hate overly competitive games.

"Sweetie, how many points do ya get fer a front flip corkscrew catch?" Apple Bloom asks curiously as I splash into the water triumphantly with the ball grasped in my hands.

"Uh...I don't think that one's in the book. Let's just make it up. Forty points?" Sweetie suggests, which I hear after I re-emerge.

"Oh come on! That's total bullshit. How does that get less points than throwing Sweetie Belle at it?" I protest, causing the fillies to giggle.

Finally, after an hour or so of just fucking around, we're interrupted by Applejack, much to my horror.

"Apple Bloom, it's time for dinner and...oh, Seth. I'd thought you'd gone home," Applejack calls down to us from the top of the cliff. I freeze, in the middle of wrestling the ball from Apple Bloom, with Sweetie on my back trying to steal it from us. Well shit.

"And not get paid? Are you kidding me?" I reply, letting go of the ball and removing Sweetie from my back. I already got caught, so the most I can do is preserve at least some of my dignity.

"I suppose not. Well, why don't you all dry off and come in for dinner?" Applejack invites, beckoning to us with a hoof. And she invited me to dinner again. Seriously? If I didn't accept it the first three times, why would you think now would be any different?

"Yeah no. I'll be heading home," I refuse flatly, swimming towards the edge of the lake and climbing out. The first thing I do is immediately start wringing the water out of my hair, since I have rather a lot of it.

"Awww, why can't ya stay fer dinner?" Apple Bloom asks, gazing at me soulfully. Fuck...not those goddamn eyes again. Fuckin...not this time. There's no way I'm giving in to Applejack's offer.

"Vinyl is expecting me. Maybe another time," I lie, just to give Apple Bloom some peace of mind.

"Okay...well ya gotta come see the clubhouse tomorrow!" she insists. Damn...she's really insistent on spending time with me. I can't possibly imagine why though.

"Maybe if I have time," I respond insincerely. I plan on taking tomorrow evening for myself, since I haven't had any real alone time since I got here.

"Bye, mister Seth!" Sweetie Belle calls to me as I move to pick up my clothes. Applejack passes me a towel, which she'd kept in her saddlebags.

"Ah'll see ya later then," Apple Bloom says softly, having gotten out of the water to see me off. She rears up and plants her two front hooves on my legs, looking up at me. Sighing, I kneel down so she can reach me. She smiles and nuzzles my cheek. And just because I know she likes it, I gently push my cheek against her, reciprocating her affection. Her squee lets me know I've done something right.

Applejack stands totally nonplussed, watching our display with a dumbfounded expression. I stand back up and glare at it, having noticed her stare. "Not staring would be nice," I snap at her, breaking her from her stupor. In the meantime, I start drying myself off.

"Oh. Sorry sugarcube. Just didn't think I'd see ya actin' so happy with ma sister," Applejack explains sheepishly.

"Okay, that's enough. This 'sugarcube' thing? What is up with that?" I snap. I've finally had it with the holw nicknames thing. Between Rarity's "darling," and Applejack's "sugarcube," I'm being driven nuts. Applejack is taken aback.

"What, that? It's just a nickname. I don't mean nothing by it," Applejack replies, perplexed.

"Well stop it. My name is Seth. Fucking use it," I express plainly. Looking chastened and still a little confused, Applejack murmurs an apology, and then proceeds to fish for something in her saddlebags.

"Here's yer pay. Tomorrow's gonna be a short work day, so ya don't have ta come in til about noon, cuz it'll be all snowy," Applejack informs me, handing (hoofing?) me a sack of bits. I'll look at how much is in there later. For now, I hand her the towel back, and then I get dressed, slinging my rifle over my shoulder.

"Got it. I'm leaving now." With that, I spin on my heel and stalk away, heading towards the archway that leads back to town. Behind me I see Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle chatting amongst themselves, and then they enter the main barn, leaving me completely alone as the sky darkens.

Everything seems normal at first as I pass through the arch, but when I see three silhouettes emergingfrom the gloom in front of me, I start to get a bad feeling.

There are stallions – three of them – walking towards me. The moment they spot me, they orient their paths to intercept mine, like they're looking for me. The one standing in the middle looks the most important. He's a tan brown, lean earth pony, with a darker brown, slicked back mane style that gives him an air of sophistication. He's actually wearing clothing, in the form of a dark blue business suit with a white collar, complete with a red tie marked with the image of a dollar sign. His ass is marked by the image of three money bags.

The other two are very similar in appearance, being both white earth ponies with dark manes. They're heavily muscled, and the way they're looking at me makes me feel threatened. They're clearly ruffians of some sort.

The one in the center is gazing at me coolly, but I can tell from his body language that he clearly wants to rip my guts out for whatever reason.

They've seen me, so there's no point in running. I bravely walk up to them, and they and I stop once we are within talking range of each other.

"You are the human, Seth Rogers, are you not?" the center pony asks me in a smooth, business-like voice.

"It appears you have me at a disadvantage," I reply, my hand resting on my rifle for assurance. I don't know what these guys want, but it can't be for friendly purposes. Not with the way those two are eyeing me.

"Quite. My name is Filthy Rich, though I doubt you've heard of me. You may know me as Diamond Tiara's father," the pony introduces himself, adjusting his tie. I shut my eyes and sigh. I guess she went ahead and did it. Well, this is probably going to end very badly for me.

"Ah. Then I can't say I'm surprised to see you. Though I wonder why the police aren't with you," I stall. The more I keep him talking, the more time I have to think of a way out of this. The area is pretty open, so there's no place to hide. They're earth ponies, so there's no outrunning them.

"Of course they aren't. This is a family matter, and as such should be dealt with..." Filthy Rich pauses for a moment to lift up a hoof, gaze at it, and then glare at me. "...personally."

Yup, I'm pretty fucked. "So you plan on doing this under the table then? Wouldn't you rather do this in a less open place?" I point out, sweeping my hand over at the farm.

"There's no need. This will be over soon enough." Filthy Rich asserts. Shit...that would have been my chance to escape. "Gentlemen, if you would? I still need to buy my daughter a replacement tiara."

Filthy Rich gestures at me, and the two thugs approach me menacingly, one of them breaking off to circle around behind me. I need to think fast. I don't think I can fight them...and there's gotta be a way out of this that doesn't involve getting my ass kicked. I don't know this guy, so he could be planning to kill me.

Then it hits me. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," I declare confidently, slowly removing my rifle from my back. The confidence in my voice causes them to pause for a moment.

"And why is that? Why shouldn't I claim compensation from a monster such as yourself?" Filthy Rich returns, looking utterly uninterested.

"You clearly don't know anything about humans. Do you know what this is?" I say, holding up the rifle. The confused looks on their faces tells me everything I need to know. "That's what I thought. Allow me to explain."

I show them the different angles of the rifle as I frantically search my mind for details on this kind of rifle. Fuck it, I'll just say what I remember. Everything else I'll just make up. They won't know the difference. "This is a 3rd Generation Special Operations Forces Combat Battle Rifle, more commonly known as a SCAR-H. What it does is that it can fire a small metal projectile from this muzzle here at about six hundred and eighty miles per hour. You know what's even better? It can fire about six hundred of these projectiles a minute."

My bluff is working. I can see the shock and fear in their eyes increase as I describe the weapon. Hopefully I won't have to prove that this thing actually works. Since it's out of ammo.

"B...Boss," one of the thugs stammers, watching my rifle closely.

"That's right. Are you going to back off like a smart little pony? Or are we going to find out who the realapex predator is here?" I ask in a dangerously soft voice, and then I cock the gun, which makes an intimidating clanking sound. Come on...please work...please work.

"Hmph. Fall back, you two. It appears we have underestimated our enemy," Filthy Rich orders, and my heart soars in triumph. There's no way this just fucking worked. It did! The thugs are backing off! Oh my god, you ponies are so fucking stupid! "Don't think I'll forget this, Mr. Rogers."

"Nah, I fully expect you to come kill me in my sleep or something. But there's something you need to know before you go," I assert, resting the rifle on my shoulder. Filthy Rich looks back at me jas as they're starting to leave, choosing not to reply and wait for my next words. He's not going to like this, but I feel it has to be said. "Your daughter is a bully. A real menace."

"You're not the first to lie..." Filthy Rich begins, but I cut him off.

"Shut up. Let me guess, other ponies have complained to you about her, and every time Diamond Tiara just flutters her pretty little eyelashes and says, 'oh no, daddy, I could never bully anypony.' And then you believe her because you're a FUCKING IDIOT!" My voice rises until I'm shouting at him.

"How dare..."

"Excuse me, I'm not done talking. Perhaps you should take your head out of your ass and ask around? I guarantee that you'll find that everypony you talk to will have the same thing to say: that your lovely little princess isn't as innocent as she appears," I snap, pointing the rifle at him when he tries to approach me. That makes him back the fuck off. "You're a pretty shitty parent. I bet you worked your ass off to get where you are today: rich and well off. I bet you learned a lot on that journey."

Filthy Rich is actually nodding in agreement with my last two sentences, once he finishes looking offended. Good, then this will hit him pretty hard.

"Do you think it's fair to this 'daughter' that you love so much doesn't get to learn those same lessons? How will she survive on her own?" Yep, he gets it now. Of course, he isn't happy about it.

"Who do you think you are, monster, to tell me how to raise my own daughter?" Filthy Rich shoots back, though he makes sure not to step any closer.

"I'm the guy that had to nearly asphyxiate your daughter in order to keep her from ruining another filly's life!" Now I'm yelling at him. He just gets angrier when I bring up what I did to her. "If you don't believe me, just ask your damn daughter, and I mean REALLY ask her, and not just take her shit like you always do!"

Filthy Rich goes silent, and even the thugs look at him in fright. "Very well," he finally says. "I will indeed speak with her. If I find that you are lying...I will come back with the guard, and then no human weapon will save you."

"Knock yourself out. Now please get the fuck out of my face so I can go home," I grunt. Filthy Rich glares at me one last time, and then he stalks away, beckoning for his thugs to follow him. I don't budge an inch until I can barely see them.

I let out the breath that I had been subconsciously holding. Goddamn that was tense. I was sure my bluff would be called, and I would get beaten to death. I kiss the muzzle of the rifle lovingly. It doesn't even have any bullets, and it's still saving my ass.

I'm probably going to have to deal with the guard somehow. I did hurt a filly, and I doubt Filthy Rich is going to take my advice seriously. He'll probably ask her, and then fall under her sway like always. I've seen relationships like that, and it never ends well when you challenge the father. If I hadn't pretended that this rifle actually worked, he'd have beaten the shit out of me for the things I said.

Well, I don't give a fuck if I end up in pony jail. At least then I'll have that alone time that I've been wanting.

A few minutes later, I'm walking back into Vinyl's house as the sun dips below the horizon. The house is completely silent for some reason. I wonder where Vinyl is? Oh well.

I take the opportunity to walk upstairs and shut myself in my room. I set the rifle against the desk and strip out of my clothes, before finally slipping into bed. It's high time I got some quality sleep. I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. That way I'll wake up feeling rested.

Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow.

---

I've been envisioning that scene at the end of this chapter for several months, especially the line about the apex predator. It feels so surreal that I've stuck with this long enough to actually write that part out. I'm a little excited.

This arc should be over in the next chapter. Or if it takes too long, two chapters. But generally near the end of an arc, I go into overdrive, so you'll probably get a double update.

Also, if you're wondering why those song lyrics up there didn't have a music link, it's because I wrote them, and I can't write accompaniment to save my life.

Stay tuned! It's gonna be epic!

This morning, I allow myself to sleep in a bit, since I'm not required to be at the farm at like, eight in the morning. It's glorious. So much shit has happened since I got here, I really need this extra sleep.

That being said, when the smell of cooking eggs reaches my nostrils, I lurch up in bed in an instant, my mouth already watering. "Sweet baby Jesus, what is this gloriousness I'm smelling?" I utter to myself, leaping to my feet, reaching for my money bags. Adding yesterday's pay, I have a total of fifteen bits. I could go to the spa this morning...pfft, like hell. Nah, I'm probably going to spend a few bits having some of whatever it is my landpony is cooking downstairs, set aside the rent payment, and save the rest so that I can eventually get a place of my own.

I slip on the clothes I was wearing two days ago, which are the jeans and the dark violet shirt. They still smell all right, so I can still wear them. Of course, that will probably change by the end of the day, but that's future me's problem. Then I toss open my door with gusto and bound down the stairs, the smell only getting better the closer I get to it.

"The hell are you making, Vinyl?" I demand, walking into the kitchen, taking my host by surprise. Vinyl nearly drops the pan she's holding, but she doesn't, because that would have been a tragedy. The yellow mess in the pan means I was right in suspecting that she's making some form of eggs.

"Oh wow, morning bro. Didn't expect you to sound so energetic this early in the morning," Vinyl greets me once she sets the pan back on the stove to cook. She notices me staring at her expectantly, and then she fucking realizes that I asked a question that I want answered. "Oh right. Well I'm making omelets. Want some?"

"Damn straight I do. Seems like the most normal thing I've seen to eat so far," I state like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I fish out a bit from my sack and flip it towards Vinyl, who grabs it with her magic and sets it aside with a resigned sigh.

"Awright, I'll serve you up then. What do ya like on your omelets?" she asks, folding the newly forming omelet over a bunch of mushrooms that she levitates in there.

"Well, I'd ask for bacon, but you ponies don't eat meat. So mushrooms, peppers, and olives if you have them," I supply helpfully, lamenting the loss of one of mankind's greatest invention. I don't really care what I eat, but bacon...that's a rather hefty loss there.

"I don't have olives, but the rest I got. That cool with you?" Vinyl checks with me, looking back at me with those magenta eyes of hers. I shrug uncaringly. So what if I don't get olives? All they do is add a bit of extra flavor. I'm just happy to be getting some eggs.

I lay back on the chair, shutting my eyes and letting that glorious egg smell fill my nose. I start dozing off, not even caring since it's still relatively early. It's only when a plate of hot omelet is slid on the table in front of me that I wake up again.

"By the way, this came for you in the mail," Vinyl says causally, levitating an envelope over to me. This gets my full attention.

"Who the fuck would send me a letter?" I demand rhetorically, since I doubt Vinyl has any clue. I look at the envelope, noting how ornate and embellished it is.

"Not a clue, bro. Looks pretty flashy though," Vinyl remarks, referring to how fancy it looks. I scoff and turn the letter over, looking for some sign of identification. When I look at the front of it, glowing letters form one by one before my eyes, spelled in a fancy cursive font.

"From Princess Celestia. Canterlot Royal Suites," I read off the letters aloud just to make sure I'm not imagining this. "Holy shit."

"Wow, dude, that's from Princess Celestia? That's one heck of an honor. Only Twilight gets private correspondence from her," Vinyl marvels, peering over the table to see the writing herself.

"Yeah, she must be nuts. Well, let's see what miss mind reader has to say this time," I remark, callously ripping open the top of the envelope.

Then a beam of yellow light hits me and sends me back to my time like nothing had happened. Pfft. Wouldn't that be nice. Nope, I pull out the letter inside as normal and unfold it.

"Dear Seth,

It's been a while since we last spoke. I wanted to check up on you, and see how you are acclimatizing to life in Ponyville. It's a quiet and charming town, well removed from the bustle of Canterlot. It saddens me that I am unable to put aside more time for me to visit it.

Have you made any progress towards making friends? I'd love to hear about it, if you don't mind me prying. In fact, I'd like to extend an invitation for you to come visit me in Canterlot for a weekend. I can take care of any and all expenses involved, if you're interested.

Your loving friend,

Celestia."

I set the letter down, my mouth stretched into a thin line. Whelp, I just got invited to the capitol of Equestria by the Royal fucking Princess of the Sun. For free no less. Yeah...right. "That's not happening," I declare flatly.

"What did she say?" Vinyl questions cocking her head.

"Pretty much invited me to go to Canterlot. For free. Fuck that, there's no way I'm going to be in debt to royalty."

"Wait, and you're not doing it? But..."

"It's like saying, 'my head on a chopping block? Yes please!' Fucking...yeah right! How stupid does she think I am?" I rant, throwing my hands up in the air. "Oh look at me, I'm this benevolent ruler, I want to earn your trust..blah blah blah, by the way, would you like to be in my debt? I promise I won't abuse it too much!"

"Dude..."

"Nope. I'm burning this shit. Mind keeping that burner on a bit longer?" I cut her off, my rage growing. Vinyl promptly shuts off the stove with her magic, looking exasperated. With that avenue removed, I try to tear the paper to shreds, but Vinyl again uses her magic to take it from me.

"You really need to chill out, bro," Vinyl scolds me, and then she glances over the letter herself. She then gives me a look that clearly says, really? "Dude, she's being friendly, that's all. You really shouldn't read too far into these things. What if I lived in Canterlot and asked you to come hang?"

"If you were offering to pay all my expenses, I'd call bullshit on you too. Nobody spends that kind of money on someone they only met once," I answer her without hesitation. Vinyl groans, letting her head fall to the table's surface. I proceed to dig into my omelet, which is just as good as I expected.

We eat our breakfast in silence. Vinyl's clearly mad at me for saying the things I did about the princess, but I could care less what she thinks. Once I finish eating, I glance up at the clock. "Time for me to get going. I'll get back when I get back."

Vinyl remains quiet as I shoulder my rifle and open the front door. The moment I step outside...I regret it. A blast of frigid air and snow greets me, stinging my skin. I walk back inside immediately, shutting the door. "Right. The snows happen today. I'm getting changed." I deadpan.

I step back outside again a few minutes later, dressed in the winter outfit Rarity made for me. It's really warm, keeping out most of the cold, so now it's only my face, hands, and feet that are cold. Yeah, going barefoot in the snow is a terrible idea, so I was wearing my shoes, which are falling apart.

Nothing of note really happens on my trip to Sweet Apple Acres, at least until I'm walking through the square. I spot Filthy Rich, and I freeze. He's not looking at me though. He's wandering from pony to pony, talking to them for maybe a minute or so each, before moving on to the next. I step closer to him until I can hear his conversation.

"...what you know about my daughter," Filthy Rich says in a demanding tone to Carrot Top, who is his latest victim.

"Well..." Carrot Top stammers, taken off guard by Filthy Rich's confrontational stance.

"Let me remind you that if any of your words are discovered to be false, I can and will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law," Filthy Rich adds threateningly. What the fu...wow, he really took me seriously, didn't he? A little too seriously, if you ask me.

Unfortunately, as I move to leave, he notices me, and the two of us lock eyes, staring intensely at one another. He narrows his eyes, and then he gives me a terse nod before going back to his interrogations. Well, that had the potential to go very wrong. I'm glad that didn't happen.

"Seth!" Lyra is coming from the other direction, looking sympathetic. "Did Filthy accost you too?"

"No, why?" I play dumb, even though I know full well why he's doing what he's doing.

"According to Bon Bon, he had a blow out with his daughter or something, so now he's going around asking everypony their opinion of her, under pain of legal action," Lyra explains, falling in step with me. I sigh, realizing that I'm not going to get rid of her. But, I am feeling slightly mollified, knowing that he took my advice to heart. I suppose he saw the true side of his daughter for once.

"Huh, how about that?" My voice is slightly sarcastic, causing Lyra to look at me suspiciously.

"You didn't have anything to do with that, did you?" she says accusingly, though not in an angry manner.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, equally sarcastically. Lyra pauses, and then she grins, batting my side with a hoof.

"I don't believe it. You cheeky human, you actually told him about her actually being a brat?" It sounds like she's actually praising me. "That takes guts, Seth. I'm envious."

"Why couldn't anypony else do it?" I demand, actually curious. Lyra looks both directions before answering in a lower voice.

"Because Filthy Rich is the head of one of the wealthiest businesses in Equestria. His family is partly responsible for Ponyville's founding, and even now he is responsible for most of the town's upkeep," Lyra explains. Okay, that part I didn't know. So what, I essentially chose to go against one of the most influential ponies around. Good job Seth, you sure know how to pick your enemies. "One word from him could ruin any of our lives. That's why nopony said anything, in case he got offended."

"Good thing I did it then. I don't have a life to ruin," I quip darkly. Lyra's face falls, and then she gives me a hug, irritating me further. "Get off me. You ponies are way too touchy-feely."

"Eeeeh, you know you like it," Lyra jokes. I immediately push her off, disgusted.

"And stop flirting with me! I'm not interested!"

"I know. I'm just doing it because it annoys you." Lyra sticks her tongue out at me immaturely.

"You...frustrating pony!" Lyra's laughter tells me I'm not dissuading her at all. Thankfully, I'm almost to Sweet Apple Acres. I wonder what Applejack's going to have to me do now that the apples are all bucked or whatever.

"It's so much fun messing with you," Lyra tells me with a grin.

"Uh-huh." I deadpan. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get to work."

"Okay. I'll see you later then," Lyra says, and then she stops following me. "You should come check out Bon Bon's store when you're done. I'll be there too!"

"Right..." I reply, making a mental note to avoid Bon Bon's shop like the plague. Now that I'm rid of her, I make my way into Sweet Apple Acres through the snow drifts that have formed. I guess the pegasi really went all out into this snowfall today. Still feels weird that weather needs their help to work.

I'm on my way to the barn when something cold and wet smacks me right in the face without warning. Spluttering, I reach a hand up to my face to discover that I'd been hit with a snowball. Who the fuck...is this supposed to be a joke? I'm not laughing. I'm about to tear the culprit a new asshole...or at least I was until I hear Apple Bloom's giggling. Instead, I settle with a sigh. Had it been anypony else, I'd be killing them right now. Instead...I know the best way to retaliate.

"Gotcha Seth!" Apple Bloom declares, walking out from behind a snow drift. She looks awfully pleased with herself. "Hehe, you should see yer face raht now! Ya look so...ah mean...um..."

The filly trails off when she notices the head sized snowball I'm holding in my right hand. I raise an eyebrow at her surprised face. "Yep. Payback's a bitch, isn't it?" I remark, and then I throw the snowball directly into her face, just like she had me. Apple Bloom's squeak of dismay gets me laughing. "Think twice before challenging a guy with thumbs."

Apple Bloom shakes herself clean, and then she tries to look indignant, but she doesn't really know how, so she just screws up her face and starts laughing as well. Then she leaps up at me. This time I'm ready for her, so I catch her in my arms, bringing her to my face so she can nuzzle me like she's grown so fond of doing. "Ah'll getchu next time," she whispers to me ominously, and then she giggles again.

"Right. What are you doing out of school anyway? Isn't it a Friday?" I ask, wondering if their school system works the same as ours.

"Yup! We get out early on Fridays," Apple Bloom answers happily, snuggling in my arms as I start walking towards the barn again. Fucking...wow, she's so damn cute. She's like a cat that can talk.

"How's Diamond Tiara?" I ask hesitantly. I don't really care how she is, but part of me is morbidly curious as to how she acted after I hurt her.

"Ah actually didn't see her at school today. It's really weird; she never misses school," Apple Bloom responds. "Ya think she's all right?"

"I could care less. Just wondered if she took my advice, is all," I grunt, scratching Apple Bloom behind the ears absentmindedly.

Applejack comes out to meet us once we near the barn. Once she sees me holding Apple Bloom, her eyebrows shoot up, and I hastily put Apple Bloom down, and then avert my eyes, hoping Applejack doesn't say anything. "Awww," Apple Bloom complains, but I ignore her.

"Mornin' Seth. Yer a bit early," Applejack greets me after an awkward moment. Thank god she didn't confront me about her sister. I don't know why I care. It's not my fault she crawls over me all the time...yeah. "Like ah said, it'll be a short work day today. Jus' need ya to come in an' help prep the barn fer the winter season. Might take a few hours, but that's it."

"Whatever. Just point me to where you need me," I respond apathetically. Applejack smiles and guides me inside, along with her sister.

By prepping the barn, she meant doing all sorts of chores around the place, from things as inane as doing laundry to things as intensive as repairing notches in the roof or chopping firewood. Yeah, so let me tell you how awkward it is to do pony laundry. Especially in a family of mostly females. It's inevitable that I come across a set of lingerie, which can only be Applejack's. Or at least I hope they are.

Why the fuck does she even have them? Ponies don't wear clothes...so what exactly is the importance of lingerie? Unless...she...I'm going to stop this line of questioning right here. I'm just gonna...put these in the wash...yeah. I don't really want to know.

What takes me the longest is the firewood, since I'm weak as shit. I know I can hear Applejack stealthily snickering behind my back every time I miss the log and hit the block, the vibrations making me drop the axe. My arms start to ache after only a few minutes of that job. Maybe that means I'll eventually get muscle from this.

The work day ends with me fixing a hole in the roof, which is a miserable job, especially in the wind and snow. I never thought I'd be thanking Rarity this much for these glorious clothes.

When I'm done, I meet Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom in the living room, which is gloriously warm. "Good job up there, sug...uh...ah mean Seth," Applejack praises, holding out my pay for that day.

"Hang on, there's another ten bits in here. I didn't work ten hours," I observe, looking at her suspiciously. Applejack is smiling, which is really suspicious.

"Different work means different pay rates," she explains. Huh...that's probably the only explanation I'll accept. Especially since I have heard of some employers giving out bonuses for those dedicated enough to come to work even in icy conditions. So this gives me 23 bits. Yeesh, my saving up is really working out for me. I have a decent surplus right now, so I won't be hurting for food or rent for a while. "Care to stay for dinner?"

"No," I reply immediately, having accepted that she's going to ask me every time. Once more, she simply acknowledges me with a nod of her head. This pony is infuriating. Just as I'm turning to leave, something impacts with the window with a loud thud, making everyone in the room jump, including me. "What the fuck?"

Applejack opens the window, which is thankfully facing downwind, so no snow comes in. "Dash, did you mess up another trick?" the farmer pony questions wryly. Wait, Rainbow's here?

"Nah...just forgot to compensate for those wind currents." Rainbow's brightly colored head sticks up rather comically, and then she slides inside the room from outside. She shakes the snow off her coat like a dog, much to Applejack's disapproval. "They get strong really fast before you notice and...oh hey, Seth!"

Rainbow sidles over to me with a smile. She raises her hoof, like she's asking for a high five, but then she remembers who she's dealing with, and instead settles with nudging me. "How's it hanging?" she asks conversationally.

"Cold and sore," is my eloquent response. Seriously, what the fuck do you expect me to say? Man, I hate those kinds of questions. How are you? Did you sleep well? My response of choice is usually shut the hell up to people I don't know.

"Heh, tough it out, dude! Maybe you'll get as strong as me one day," Rainbow retorts, and then she starts peeking at my muscles. "So scrawny."

"Can you stop?" I snap at her, waving her off. "You asked, so I told. No need to rub your superiority in my face."

"Just telling it like it is! Anyhow, you finished here? I kinda want to go for a run, if you wanna join me," Rainbow doesn't seem fazed by my rude attitude at all. Oh right, my legs, the only part of me that doesn't ache. Pft, might as well fix that.

"Yeah, I'm done. I'll tag along, but only if you don't leave me in the damn dust," I tell her, causing her grin to get wider.

"All right! We'll get you tougher in no time!" she declares, wrapping a hoof around my shoulders.

"Thank you, personal trainer Dash," I deadpan, the sarcasm practically dripping from my tone. "Now if we're gonna go, let's go."

"Ah'll see ya tomorrow then!" Applejack calls after us as we open the door and step outside. Guess I'm working tomorrow. Who knows what they'll have me do.

"Bye, Seth!" Apple Bloom adds. I wave my hand in response, and then the door shuts behind us.

"Fuck, it's cold," I complain, my teeth already starting to chatter. Rainbow immediately breaks into a run, taking me by surprise. I start to run after her. "Hey! Give me some warning first!"

"If you're cold, get moving! We're gonna lap around Ponyville twice!" Rainbow declares, causing me to groan.

"What the hell?! Wasn't this just going to be a casual run?" I demand.

"This is a casual run for the Dash!" Of fucking course it is. Damn Herculean pony. My lungs almost immediately start to burn, and then freeze as I breathe in the frigid air. This is going to dehydrate me pretty fast, probably. On the bright side, I'll get warmer if I do this. I heard joggers love it when it's cold for that very reason.

We're only running for a few minutes before an unexpected occurrence stops us in our tracks. We're just about to break away from the path when we notice a very familiar business pony approaching us at a run. Is that Filthy Rich? What is he doing here?

"Mr. Rogers! Wait, please!" I can hear desperation in his voice. What the hell could have happened to make such a proud pony take a tone like that? It's curious enough for me to slow to a stop, much to Rainbow's frustration.

"What are you doing, Seth? We've got a long way to go!" Rainbow demands. I point to Filthy Rich, who has just reached us. "Oh...uh...hi there, Mr. Rich."

"The hell do you want?" I snap venomously. Yeah, I'm don't like him one bit. Filthy Rich doesn't look at all angry at the tone I took with him. Instead, he takes a moment to collect his breath, and then he grabs my shirt with a hoof.

"You have to help my daughter! She can't...you were right, she can't handle herself on her own!" Filthy Rich cries. I'm struck speechless. I have no words for what he just said to me. Just yesterday, he'd been ready to beat me within an inch of my life, and now he's asking for my help? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Yeah, no. There's no way I'm helping that bitch. Or you, for that matter," I deny vehemently. Rainbow, however, shoots me a glare and steps closer.

"What's the matter? Something up with Diamond Tiara?" Rainbow asks seriously. She clearly recognizes that something is wrong, since Filthy Rich isn't really the kind to act like this.

"Yes! She...well, we fought, and while I was out, she went...oh Celestia...she went into the Everfree Forest!" Filthy Rich's words cause my eyebrow to shoot up, and Rainbow to gasp in horror.

"Whelp, she's dead," I remark callously. Rainbow nudges me hard at that one. I look at her bitterly. I'm just telling it like it is.

"Why would she do that?!" Rainbow asks in shock. Filthy Rich lets his head rest into his hooves, as if ashamed.

"The note she left...she said she felt useless, because all she can do is make jewelry, and relies on me to get the materials she needed." Filthy Rich begins. "One of the most vital materials she needs is only found in the Everfree. I usually pay the guard to retrieve it for her, but she wants to prove she can do things on her own, without me."

"Dumb bitch," I remark. That only earns me another glare from Rainbow for my insensitivity. "Looks like she's gonna get herself killed."

"Mr. Rogers, please. There's monsters in that forest, some of which are too strong for even unicorns like Miss Sparkle to fight," Filthy Rich pleads. He looks at my rifle. "If you can use your human weapon, you could save my daughter easily."

"That's not happening," I tell him flatly. There's the part where it's out of ammo, but I'd rather he think I'm just an asshole. His face quickly becomes distraught.

"Please! She means the world to me!" Wow, Filthy Rich is actually begging me. Yeah well, there's no fucking way I'm going in that forest again.

"That's not my problem. If she's dumb enough to get herself killed, that's her fault," I rebuff him coldly. This time, Rainbow gets in my face.

"Seth! That's enough. This is a pony's life we're talking about! It doesn't matter what you think of them. All life is precious!" she snaps at me.

"Like I care! Diamond Tiara is scum, a waste of space. There's no way I'm risking my life for somepony like that!" I yell back at her. Rainbow doesn't back off either, staying true to her brash nature.

"I didn't like you all that much when I first met you, but I saved you anyway! Whether they're a good pony or not, they don't deserve to die. Not when we can do something about it!"

"I'm NOT going back in that fucking forest, you hear me?! There's nothing short of a damn miracle that'll make me even consider it! You can shove your self righteous bullshit up your ass and quit thinking I have any obligation to help you!" I roar at her. Suddenly, Rainbow's hoof slams into my face, causing me to recoil and hold the affected spot. "What the..."

"Fine! I don't like Diamond Tiara either, and yet I'm going to go save her. You just stand there and be the kind of monster who'll let a young filly die!" Rainbow shouts, utterly furious with me. Then, she looks down at Filthy Rich, who looks frightened by our argument. "Come on, Mr. Rich. I'll save your daughter, since the only thing my friend here cares about is himself."

"Thank you so much, Miss Dash. You truly are a hero!" Filthy Rich says gratefully, and then the two of them speed away, heading directly towards the Everfree Forest.

I'm left alone, watching them go, still angry and incredulous. Like I was really going to go out of my way to save a bitch like his daughter, especially after what you tried to do to me. "Fuck this...I'm going home," I grumble, walking back into the town.

---

I walk into the house, noticing Vinyl sitting at the couch and a fire roaring in the fireplace, filling the room up with warmth. She looks up as I dust the snow off of myself, and then remove my jacket and hang it on a hook next to the door. "Welcome back, bro. You're back pretty early."

"Yeah," I respond shortly. Vinyl knows instantly that something is wrong, judging by that look she's giving me.

"Yo, come sit by the fire. I'll fix you some tea," Vinyl invites, waving me over with a hoof. I shrug and sit on the couch next to her, enjoying the warmth coming from the fire.

"Tea sounds good," I say softly, staring at the flame. I lay back and relax, feeling a lot better now that I can get warm. When Vinyl returns with the tea a few minutes later, I feel even better, since this tea is pretty good.

It doesn't last. For some reason, I start getting restless. I don't know what's wrong, but I just can't get settled. It's like that feeling you get when you're putting something off. Like you know there's something you have to do, but you're just not acknowledging it. That doesn't make sense to me though. I have nothing to do. This evening is mine to spend on my own.

I don't realize I'd zoned out until Vinyl waves a hoof in my face. "You okay there? What's up?"

"Nothing really. Just Rainbow being a dipshit," I answer, drinking some more of the tea. "She went to the Everfree with Filthy Rich to save his bitchy daughter."

Vinyl promptly spits out the tea she's drinking. "WHAT?! Into the Everfree?!" she exclaims in shock. "That's crazy! That place is really dangerous!"

"Trust me, I know. Those timberwolves really wanted to eat me," I comment, remembering how I'd been chased by a whole pack. Vinyl shakes her head.

"Timberwolves? Nah, dude, that's the least of their worries. That place is suffused with dangerous magic, and that's not the worst. Then you got monsters like the Ursa Major and the Scorpios," Vinyl corrects me. I blink.

"Those...are constellations. Are you trying to tell me that constellations attack ponies?"

"Not really. They're monsters that draw power from those constellations. They're too strong for any normal pony to handle," she explains. Well, that sounds unbelievable. And dumb. Monsters drawing power from constellations. Those stars are millions of fucking light years away. How can they POSSIBLY gain energy from them? Let me guess: magic. Fucking magic. "I mean, I doubt Rainbow will run into the Ursa Major. It's generally docile unless provoked. The Scorpios, however, she's dead if she runs into that thing."

A shudder involuntarily passes through me. I can't even imagine what monsters like that would even look like. My thoughts turn to Rainbow for some reason. I try to stop thinking about her, but it's hard not to. What's the big deal about her? So what if she dies? Then she'll get off my case forever. Maybe then I can live without being pestered every damn moment about being an asshole.

But...a part of me feels empty at the thought that Rainbow Dash might be dead by the end of the day. I mean, ever since she saved me from suicide, she's been by my side practically every moment of every day. She's been inviting me to go places, cheering me up when I needed it, and having little moments of banter with me that make me smile to think about. Am I really okay with losing all of that?

"Hello? Equestria to Seth!" Vinyl yells in my face. I jump in surprise, having zoned out again. "You keep getting lost in your thoughts. What's up?"

"Nothing, dammit!" I snap. I told her enough. There's no way I'm letting her in on these thoughts I'm having. I don't even really understand them. I feel anxious, and I don't know why. No matter what I do, I just can't relax. The fact that Rainbow could die doesn't bother me. It shouldn't bother me.

"Dude...go after her. You're clearly worried about her," Vinyl urges me, seeing through my outburst for what it truly was, resting a hoof on my back reassuringly. I shrug her hoof away uncomfortably. Am I worrying about her?

"No way. I'm not going anywhere. It was her choice to go into that forest. It shouldn't concern me," I refuse flatly. Vinyl sighs.

"Who are you trying to convince? You look like crap, bro. It's only going to get worse if you don't do something about it," Vinyl points out. Damn, these ponies are more perceptive than they have any right to be.

I try to form a protest, but I have to admit, she's right. I should have gone with her. I'm ashamed to acknowledge this weakness I'm feeling. I have no reason to care about Rainbow, but I do anyway.

Vinyl steps back as I rise to my feet without warning. "You're right Vinyl. I won't feel right until she's back here being annoying again," I express with determination in my voice. Vinyl finally smiles widely. "I'm leaving. Wish me luck."

"You got it. You just go in, get her, and come back out. I'll contact the guard in the meantime," she tells me. "No heroics, you hear me? That forest is not safe."

With a nod, I put on my jacket and rush back out into the cold. Rainbow Dash saved my life once. It's time for me to save hers.

Because that's what friends do.

---

I run through the streets, earning curious looks from everypony that I pass. They're probably wondering why the human, who is always yelling and looking bored, is giving it his all to get through the town. I pass several ponies that I know, but I don't even spare them a glance as I continue on.

Yes, Rainbow Dash is my friend, as much as it pains me to admit it. As egotistical and annoying as she is, she kept true to her word. No matter how much I snapped at her, no matter how much I try to physically harm her, she never left me. It's time for me to return the favor.

But, if I admit that Rainbow is my friend, then I have to also say that Apple Bloom is also my friend. That childlike innocence of her reminds me of myself, so long ago. No matter what she sees from me, she's always being kind and happy, seeking me out on her own initiative just so that she could spend some time with me.

It's time for me to give back to these two what they've given to me. Yes, there's a possibility I can lose them too, just like Amaryllis and Adam, but there's a difference this time. I won't let it happen. I'll keep them safe with my own two hands. The pressure that I've been feeling in my chest returns with a vengeance, stronger than ever before.

I leave the town behind, pushing past whatever fatigue I'm starting to feel, until I finally reach the edge of the Everfree. I hesitate, staring at the ominous twisted branches of the forest. This is probably the least intelligent thing I've done since getting here. I take a breath, and then I plunge into the hellish forest. Darkness falls over me like a blanket, as the canopy is so thick with branches and foliage that hardly any light can pierce it.

"Rainbow!" I call out as I follow the path. I'm not fooling myself. The chances of me coming across them in this massive ass forest are slim to none. But if Diamond Tiara had even a lick of sense, she'd have stayed on the path. I'm going to bet on that, since if she strayed, she's as good as dead. It doesn't matter how long it takes me, though. I'm not leaving this forest without Rainbow. "Where the hell are you?!"

I skid to a stop, noticing a lone timberwolf in the middle of the path that is dragging the corpse of a deer off into the thick of the woods. My yelling attracts its attention. It lifts its wooden head and gazes at me with those ominous green eyes. Its hackles rise, and its eyes narrow. I bet it thinks its going to get two meals for the price of one. I stare back at it, determination stamped upon my face. I un-sling my rifle from my back. "You think you'll get between me and my friend?"

The wolf snarls, and then it lunges. Thankfully, I'm nowhere near as panicked as I was the first time I saw one. I'm not going to pussy out like I did that time. This thing is going down. Concentrate Seth. Watch its movement carefully. It's aiming for my left shoulder.

I sidestep its lunge to the right and bring my rifle down on its back with a double-handed strike, knocking it flat on the ground. Then, I finish it off by slamming my foot right down on the back of its neck, breaking through several layers of wood and decapitating it. "Think again," I finish with a snarl.

I move on, confident in my ability to handle anything this damn forest can throw at me. I'm no longer worried about my own survival. There's something greater than me out there. Rainbow has managed to do the impossible: befriending me. Once that happens...on that rare occasion...there's nothing I won't do for you. Like Adam...or Amaryllis, I won't stop until you're safe and happy.

I even pass Zecora's house as I travel through the forest, but I don't stop to sight see. I continuously call out for Rainbow, hoping that she'll answer.

A few moments later, I become aware of a commotion occurring deeper in the forest. There's a cacophonous rustling and crashing coming from somewhere off of the path. And...was that a hiss? What the...whelp. This is probably a dumb idea, but I have to be sure.

"Rainbow?" I call, hoping that my voice won't piss off whatever it is making those noises. My gamble pays off, because I hear Rainbow answer me.

"Seth? What are you...? No, don't come any closer!" her voice cries out. Seconds later, I hear a horrendous screeching, like something you'd hear in an Alien movie.

Ignoring her warnings, I force my way through the thick trees until I emerge into a clearing, and I immediately spot Rainbow. However, it's what's with her that freaks me the fuck out. "What in the nine hells and the three mouths of Lucifer is that?!" I gasp as I look at one of the scariest fucking things I've ever seen in my life.

A large monster that's about twice my height and many times longer is menacing Rainbow from the center of the clearing. It looks to be a cross between a spider and a scorpion, in that it has eight eyes on its bulbous black head and two powerful looking pincers, and it has eight legs as well, but it also has a long segmented tail with a vicious looking stinger on the end that dripped with venom.

Rainbow is the only thing standing between it and a cowering Diamond Tiara, who is standing above the unconscious form of her father. Rainbow is covered with cuts and bruises, telling me that she'd been fighting this thing for who knows how long.

"Get back, Seth! This thing is a Scorpios! It's not to be taken lightly!" Rainbow shouts at me, taking her eyes off of the monster to look at me. Wait, a Scorpios? Isn't that the thing Vinyl said...shit. To my alarm, I see the monster raise one of its legs, taking advantage of her inattention.

"RAINBOW!" I try to warn her, but the leg swings down and smacks her aside like a rag doll. Rainbow hits the trunk of a tree painfully, and I wince when I see her wing bend at an awkward angle. "Dammit!"

"Seth...take them and run..." Rainbow tells me weakly as she crawls back towards the Scorpios as it moves to make a meal out of the filly and her father. She lifts herself back up and rams the monster's side, causing it to hiss and focus its attention on her. Okay, no, this stops now.

Rainbow watches the Scorpios lift its leg one more time, only this time it will probably mean the end for her. Except that's not happening. The monster shrieks as there's suddenly a human on its back. Yeah, that's right you fucker. Seth Rogers is here, and I'm going to make you pay.

I find a spot between the segmented plates on its back, and then I jam the tip of my rifle into it and twist. The monster screeches in pain, so I think I did something right. Or I irritated it. Probably the latter. Suddenly I realize I'm forgetting something. "OH SH-" I don't have enough time to complete my expletive before I'm forced to throw myself to the ground to avoid the Scorpios's stinger.

The monster wastes no time in taking advantage of my vulnerability. It skitters towards me and slams its leg down. I manage to dodge it by rolling out of the way. Retaliating with a smack of my rifle to its leg, I hope to do some real damage, but the Scorpios's leg doesn't even budge. "Seth!" Rainbow calls, and I have the presence of mind to dash aside, just as its stinger flies down.

It's too fast for me though. It intercepts me and grabs me with its two front legs. I struggle, but I can't break its grip. There's these barbed hair looking things on its legs that are hooked into my clothes and won't let me free. Oh shit...it's lowering me towards its mouth, isn't it. I'm about to get eaten alive by a damn scorpion thing.

Suddenly, the monster hurls me aside as Rainbow rams her head just beneath its jaws. I tumble end over end, accumulating many scrapes and cuts in the process. My body aches as I lift my head to see Rainbow being knocked aside like nothing once again. This time, the Scorpios goes in for the kill, and I'm just not close enough to stop it.

"Dammit, no!" I shout helplessly as the monster approaches the helpless Rainbow. It's going to kill her right in front of me. I'm about to lose another one of my friends, just after realizing that I had one. This isn't fucking fair! Why must this goddamn world take everything from me!? The pressure in my chest intensifies, and I can feel it shifting like when I'd confronted Diamond Tiara, like it's trying to get loose.

Why is this happening? If I had gone with her...maybe this wouldn't be happening. Maybe we'd have gotten to Diamond and gotten out before this fucker had showed up. But...now, I had to be stubborn, and get all hung up on the fact that it's Diamond we're trying to save. Because of that, Rainbow is going to die.

Am I really going to lie here and let this happen? My muscles...they won't listen to me. Move, body. Move! Your friend is going to die!

Slowly, I rise, a strange lethargic feeling passing over me. My vision wavers a bit, and I nearly unbalance, but I manage to stagger to my feet. "I won't let this happen," I growl, the pressure in my chest almost unbearable. "Not now, not ever. I won't..."

The pressure shifts again, and this time...I stop subconsciously holding it back. I let go, and everything changes. Now, I don't remember much about what happens next. It was like the whole thing was a blur. However, I'm going to state as much as I can, with outside accounts piecing together what I don't remember.

Something roars around me, and it's not the monster. The air in front of me turns darker, and starts to shimmer and distort, almost as if I was viewing everything in front of me through a translucent dark flame. My eyes...my vision flashes lime green several times, and then it stays like that. I can even see every individual vein in my eyes as red jagged lines. The edges of my vision flare purple. I can't really explain it, but I can feel so much death. From the ground, I can feel places where living creatures have died, like another sense.

I look down at my hand, and for some reason, there's a dark energy surrounding it, with sparks of green lightning emanating from it. What is this? Heh, I don't care. I don't fucking care. All I know is that I feel powerful, and it feels good.

The Scorpios reaches Rainbow, and one of its legs rises up for the killing blow. My eyes snap to it, and it seems like it's happening in slow motion. I can feel several currents in the air, almost as if I'm standing in the middle of a calm hurricane. I don't even feel in control of my body as I pick one of them that's directed towards the Scorpios, and then I tug upon it.

The ground cracks and ruptures around my feet, and then my vision blurs as I'm suddenly transported at a ridiculous speed to directly in front of the Scorpios. Without flinching, I block the monster's leg with my forearm. The force of impact practically causes a shockwave to emanate from the collision. My eyes narrow. "I won't lose any more of my friends," I tell it calmly, even though I know it can't understand me. I slowly reach up and grasp its leg with my free hand. "I'll be taking this."

Without putting more than a paltry amount of effort into it, I rip away its leg entirely from its body. The monster's screech deafens me as it scuttles back, ichor spurting from the stump where its leg used to be.

I grab hold of another one of those odd currents so that I appear directly in front of it once more. "Did I say you could run, you insect?!" My voice rises in pitch slightly, becoming almost maniacal. I can't help but laugh crazily as the Scorpios attempts to defend itself. I duck another another of its legs with ease, knock another away with a hand, and then I punch it directly in the face, that dark energy rippling around that arm. All of that energy rushes forward upon impact, burning away the monster's face and rendering useless several of its eyes.

In retaliation the Scorpios brings its stinger to bear, the weapon shooting forward in an attempt to impale me through the middle. My right hand snaps up and grabs the tail just under the base of the stinger. "I'm going to make you suffer," I promise it, a twisted grin forming on my face. My eyes grow wider and my pupils smaller, making me look truly crazed. My right hand closes tightly, crushing the creature's tail with my new power. The stinger falls to the ground, useless, as the monster screams out its pain, pulling the tail back and attempting to whip me with it.

A current takes me high above its head, and then another shoots me right back down, where I drive my dark flaming elbow into its back, cracking the carapace. I then grab the monster's tail when it tries to hit me with it again, hop off of it onto the ground, and then use my new strength to fling the monster clear across the clearing into a tree, like it weighed nothing.

I hear Diamond Tiara scream as the Scorpios hits the tree, but I could care less. I even ignore Rainbow as she stares at me in awe, my mind instead focusing on what degree of pain I can inflict upon this monster.

I don't know what comes over me, but it just feels right to grab my rifle. Just that simple action causes dark energy to arc down my arm and course through the weapon. I aim it steadily at the rising Scorpios, lining up a shot through the sights. I know it doesn't have any ammo, but the part of me that cares is far from being heard right now. It's so much easier just to let the darkness take over.

The monster sees me pointing the rifle at it. It gives one last defiant screech before I pull the trigger. With a sound like thunder, a thick beam of pure darkness ringed by green electricity fires from the muzzle of the gun and collides with the Scorpios. The energy explodes on impact, wreaking destruction on the landscape and sending up a cloud of dust to conceal the monster from view. I'm not done there.

I squeeze the trigger over and over again, firing more and more beams of destruction from the rifle, slamming into the Scorpios over and over again. The whole time I laugh like a madman, finding a sick pleasure in watching the creature that wronged me die painfully. "Get fucked, you son of a bitch!" I cry with elation, firing one last beam of darkness into the large dust cloud.

I sling the rifle on my back once more, and then I stride through the dust until I find the perforated corpse of the Scorpios. I look down at its scorched face. "Who said you could die!?" I scream at it insanely. I kneel down and slam a darkness covered fist into its face, cracking the ground and burning the skin almost to nothingness. I punch it over and over again, breaking what's left of its body into bloody bits. Still, even as the ground shatters beneath the force of every punch, not even this is enough for me."I'm not satisfied!"

"Seth?" Rainbow calls to me, her voice weak. I freeze, remembering why it was I'd given in to this power in the first place. As I walk towards her, I think...why should I give this up? I have the power to do anything I want now. I'll teach everypony here that's wronged me a lesson in pain. Filthy Rich? You're beyond dead. Diamond Tiara? You're going to join him. And...why...does it hurt?

I stumble out of the dust cloud and fall on my knees. My entire body is hurting...it's like the darkness swirling around me is eating me away on the inside. "Ow...fuck...stop..." I moan.

"Seth! Can you hear me?" Rainbow is crawling over to me, despite how hurt she is. "What's wrong?"

"Rainbow...this power...it really hurts," I manage to get out. I was wrecking shit just a minute ago...so why is it so hard to even move now? Something catches in my throat, and I cough violently. To my horror, blood spatters from my mouth to the ground. Is this power going to kill me?

"Hang in there, Seth! You should be controlling that magic, not the other way around," Rainbow assures me. She forces herself to her hooves and boldly approaches me. The darkness swirling around me doesn't hurt her, so she rests a hoof on my back. Her presence does wonders for my state of mind. Ignoring the pain, I try and find the source of this power. It doesn't take me long. It feels like there's a river passing through that area on the center of my chest, where the pressure had once been. "You saved us, Seth. You don't need to exert yourself any longer."

She's right. It's over. With a great deal of effort, I manage to stop the flow of energy that's passing through my chest or whatever, and then the darkness around me fades away to nothing, and my vision returns to normal. My body still feels like it has been hit by a semi truck, but at least now I'm not coughing up blood.

Suddenly, it hits me. What the fuck just happened? I look between the relieved face of Rainbow, and then to the corpse of the Scorpios. Did I do that? How the fuck did I get the power to beat that monster? Where did that dark energy come from?

I start hyperventilating. This shouldn't be possible. Humans can't access that kind of power. Like, ever. No matter how strong you are, humans have limits that we can't bypass, and that's why we create guns, tanks, and planes. So how come I was able to toss aside human limits like they were nothing?

I open my hands, checking them for damage. They are in relatively good shape. Which is impossible. The laws of physics don't work that way. Hitting that monster with a punch strong enough to actually hurt it should have broken my hands from the reactive force, and yet my hands are fine. This world does have consistency, though, in that if something breaks the laws of physics, magic is involved. But that means...

"I just fucking used magic," I say aloud in an incredulous tone. "How fucking surreal is that?"

I hear no response from Rainbow. Looking down in alarm, I see that she'd passed out. Fuck she's actually hurt. I need to get her back to the town, so she can get those wounds treated. I need to do the same. Who knows how much internal damage that magic inflicted on me?

"Come here," I say to Rainbow, even though she can't hear me. I reach down and lift her up, draping her front hooves over my shoulder and standing up. She's heavy...but the lingering adrenaline gives me the strength to carry her. I move over to Diamond Tiara next. She looks up at me with wide, frightened eyes. "You too...get the fuck over here."

"You...you were right. I can't do anything on my own," Diamond laments, causing me to give her a scornful glance.

"Shut the fuck up," I snap at her, not caring in the least about her mental state. I reach down with my free hand and lifting her by the scruff of her neck. She squeaks, thinking I'm going to hurt her, but instead I just place her on my other shoulder. "Hang on there. I got to deal with your pain in the ass father next."

Diamond Tiara obediently wraps her hooves around my neck and lets herself hang down my back. That way I have enough space to lift Filthy Rich up as well, and carry him on my other shoulder like I am Rainbow. He's just as heavy, if not more so, than Rainbow, so it takes all of my strength and willpower not to fall over.

Now that I have all of them, I walk slowly back through the forest, leaving the dead Scorpios behind. The minutes blend together as I focus not on the path, but just on putting one foot in front of the other. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it out, but there's no way I'm going to let Rainbow die in this godforsaken forest.

My strength soon starts to falter as the adrenaline leaves my system. It seems like the three on my back get exponentially heavier, and I almost collapse.

Finally, my legs give out, and I fall to the ground, my strength depleted. Just before I lose consciousness, I can see several armored ponies rushing towards us in the distance. One of them sees me, and he points a hoof at me, shouting something to the others. I wonder if they're real, or if I'm just delirious. Seeing as I can't possibly have magic, I wouldn't be surprised if this is all just some feverish dream.

Soon, they're surrounding us. My tired mind can't make out anything they're saying, so I stop trying. Instead, I feel myself slipping away into unconsciousness, my pain fading.

Did I succeed? Or am I once again going to lose that which I've only now discovered to be dear?

---

I took longer on this chapter mostly because of how much content had to go in it, plus after I finished it, I wasn't and I'm still not all that satisfied with it. Then again, this entire thing is literally just my first draft, since I'm doing this without a beta reader. I'll go back and edit all this once the story is over. Especially this one.

But, I've been planning this bit with Seth and magic since the beginning of the story. Some of you have expressed hopes that this wouldn't happen (in which case I'm sorry you're disappointed), while others have downright called it. You know who you are ;P

Arc 2 is not quite finished. I have maybe one last chapter for wrap up, and then we'll move on to Arc 3. Which will probably be more slice of life, but I doubt that'll be a problem, seeing as you came this far. But it won't be pointless, as it'll be setting the stage for Arc 4, which I'm hoping will be one of the best. After all, fight scenes are my specialty. This whole story is something completely different for me, as I'm focusing more on character development than fighting. Just look at my Golden Sun story on this site. 7000 word fight scene. ^^

All right, I think I'm done ranting. Please leave a comment, since if any chapter needs feedback, it's this one.

Everything is pain. That's all I can feel, even as awareness returns to me. Let me just go through a diagnostic here: so my head is hurting like a bitch, my throat is sore, my ribs are aching something fierce, I can feel multiple surface wounds on my arms and legs, and then lastly it feels like there's acid in my stomach. Wait, there's always acid in my stomach. Fucking...so like normal, only I can feel it.

I become aware of a steady beeping sound, as well as a persistent pinching sensation on the inside of my elbow. I've felt something like this before...so I must be in a hospital. Oh dear, my mother must be worried sick. I wonder if Amaryllis is here yet. She was there last time I had surgery.

I open my eyes, and the sight of a white ceiling greets me. Yep, white. I'm definitely in a hospital. I can't seem to remember why I'm here, though. Did I get a concussion? Because that would explain my lack of memory and my aching head.

A soft pillow cradles my head, and soft sheets are covering me up to my waist. That draws attention to the fact I'm wearing a simple piece of cloth. It feels heavenly. I shift my head, wincing at the pain, in an attempt to get a better look at my surroundings.

The first thing I see is a fucking white pony wearing a nurse outfit sitting on its haunches near the door, . And then my memory comes back. I groan, resisting the urge to rub my forehead. Right, right, I'm in a world filled with stupid talking ponies.

"Oh, you're awake! How are you feeling..." the nurse pony exclaims after hearing my voice. She looks down at a clipboard she's carrying. "Mr. Rogers?"

I ignore her at first as more of memory comes back. Right, lots of things have changed. I...have a friend, one that I used some crazy ass magic to save. I still don't know how I did that, nor exactly what happened. That memory is just a blur filled with explosions, darkness, and rage.

"Sir?" the nurse prompts, much to my annoyance.

"Shut up and let me think a moment," I snap at her. She recoils, taken aback by my sudden vehemence. Suddenly...I remember something. "Where's Rainbow?"

"Miss Dash? She's in the bed next to you," the nurse tells me, still looking hurt at my callous words.

I almost freak out, thinking that she meant Rainbow was literally in the bed with me, but after a bit of looking around, I notice not only the IV stuck into my arm (which makes me wonder how long I've been unconscious), but also that there's another bed, a few feet away from my own. Rainbow is fast asleep upon it, lying on her side. Her wounds are bandaged and her hurt wing is in a cast, but she's not hooked up to an IV like I am.

"How long was I out?" I feel obligated to ask.

"Three days, sir," the nurse responded helpfully. I wince at that figure. Well, that explains why I needed an IV.

"Shit. What all was wrong with me?"

"Unfortunately, we don't know much about human anatomy apart from what we've learned from the findings of archaeologists, so I can't give you an exact answer."

"I figured as much. Do the best you can." I should hope not. Even humans themselves didn't know everything about our own bodies. Like, for example, what the fucking appendix does. So there's a problem if she could tell me everything.

The nurse swallows nervously. "Okay. First and foremost are the multiple surface lacerations, and contusions, possibly caused by your encounter with the Scorpios."

"Wait, how the fuck do you know what I fought?" I demand.

"Mr. Rich and his daughter both gave their statements to the town guard. It seems you four went through quite the ordeal. I can't even imagine what it was like." Now the nurse is wearing a sympathetic expression. You're right. You can't. I can hardly imagine it myself, since everything is still a little fuzzy.

"Why does medical have that kind of information? Shouldn't incident reports be classified?" I question. I wonder if their police departments are anything like our own. The nurse blinks, nonplussed.

"Why would they be? It's everypony's right to know what happens around them. Besides, how are we supposed to properly treat you unless we know the cause of your injuries?"

"A fair point. Guess your political structure is less shady than I expected," I admit. If something like the Scorpios had attacked a rural town like this one in my world, chances are it would have killed everyone, and then the government would cover it up to prevent widespread panic. You know, instead of recognizing their right to information and then setting up contingency plans to reassure civilians in the case of repeat attacks. The nurse looks like she's about to ask me about that, but I don't feel like explaining it, so I cut her off. "Now, what else did you find wrong?"

"Our X-Rays also picked up several fractured ribs, which we've since set. They should be healing nicely, provided you don't move around very much for a few hours," she continues.

"Okay, stop right there. I have broken ribs, and you're telling me they've already healed? It's only been three days!" That's just bullshit. Not to mention they have X-Rays? If that's the case, then they have computers. Or are they getting results through other means? Wait, no, I'm hooked up to a heart monitor. That in and of itself is a computer. So then why doesn't Ponyville have them?

"Well, of course. Broken limbs aren't that much of an issue. It just requires a little magical expertise to set them, and jump start the healing process," the nurse responds like it was no big deal.

"So...magic?"

"That's right."

"Everything's done by magic. Fucking magic," I groan to myself, and I rub my forehead in exasperation. "What about my internal injuries? I know I must have had some."

"Like I said, sir, we don't know anything about your internal make-up. So we did the best we could with special ointments that promote healing."

"That's some of the biggest bullshit I've heard so far," I snap. "I distinctly remember spitting up blood when I was in that forest. You're not even going to try and look for the source?"

The nurse has the decency to look chastened at my words "I...I'm sorry, but we can't risk performing surgery on a complete unknown like yourself. Not without further study."

"Which isn't happening."

"Which can't be done without your consent, according to Equestrian law" the nurse agrees. So there's actually a law that says you can't cut someone open because you don't understand them. One more thing about this time that's better than my own. I'd still trade it all away to see my family and friend one last time.

"Good. What about Rainbow? How bad is she?"

"Her injuries were more severe than your own. According to Mr. Rich, Rainbow fought the Scorpios for at least half an hour before you arrived," the nurse explains.

My eyes widen at that. Holy shit. I look back at Rainbow, a whole new respect for her blossoming within me. She fought that thing off for that long? Thirty minutes while in combat is a long time. Sure, she can fly, but to protect Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich, she'd have had to stay on the ground to keep the Scorpios from ignoring her and killing them. Rainbow Dash. What a fucking badass.

"Besides the expected external injuries, like your own, she suffered fractures in her back leg, right wing, and several ribs. They're well on their way to healing now, however." The nurse then proceeds to smile, despite my jaw dropping at how hurt she was. If I hadn't shown up when I had...she'd be beyond dead. "You did well, saving her. She's well liked by the townspeople. It would have been an unspeakable tragedy if...the unthinkable had happened."

"Right, whatever." I dismiss her praise uncomfortably. Honestly, I should be dead too, by all rights. I only made it through that because I apparently have bullshit magical powers of self-injuring convenience that came out of nowhere. I wonder what the explanation for that is. "Has she been out for three days like me?"

"No, she's been awake several times before now. It's just been you," the nurse answers. That's odd. Well, then again, not really. If I go by the things I've heard from magic through fantasy, it's not often that overuse of magic causes physical exhaustion in the caster. So if I assume that happened, that explains why I was unconscious for so long.

"So I could technically wake her up without causing any health problems?" I ask. I'm feeling a bit mischievous, now that I now she's all right. The nurse nods. I turn my head, to look back at Rainbow. "Oi! Wake the fuck up!"

Rainbow wakes with a start. "Waah! Where's the fire?!" she exclaims, but once the sleep leaves her eyes, she becomes aware of me laughing at her reaction. "Oh, you're awake at last!"

"I could say the same to you. But yeah, I'm up, for better or worse."

"How are you holding up? I don't got a clue what the doctors meant with all their fancy words, but I heard it was bad."

"I should be asking you that. Your injuries are worse than mine." I point out. Rainbow laughs sheepishly at that. "But I'm fine, somewhat."

"Me too. But...why didn't you tell us you can use magic? That was totally awesome, what you did back there!" Well, of course she probably has lots of questions, seeing as I essentially curbstomped what was considered to be one of the toughest monsters in the forest.

"Because I didn't know either. Back in my time, humans can't use magic, no matter how much they want to. It's why we came up with so many technological marvels, some of which you ponies are using now."

"Huh? Then why are you able to use magic now?" Rainbow looks about as confused as I feel about this whole situation.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Besides, it's a moot point. I don't plan on using it ever again." Now that gets a reaction from Rainbow.

"What?! Why not? You saved our lives, Seth," Rainbow protests hotly. Before responding, I look over at the nurse.

"Mind leaving us for a bit?" I ask her. Now's as good a time as any to have this conversation, and I'd rather do in private. I'd rather everypony else continue believing I'm an asshole, since I'm still convinced most of the ponies are worthless. With the exception of Rainbow and Apple Bloom. And maybe Vinyl, since it was she that helped me realize who my friends are.

"Oh, of course. Just call if you need anything," she answers agreeably, and then she leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. That just leaves Rainbow and I.

"Well, now that she's gone. Basically, I can't remember a damn thing between seeing that thing attack you, and then me falling over next to its dead body, coughing up blood," I confess to her. I'm mostly honest. I do remember little flashes, but mostly just explosions and the feeling of intense hatred.

"What does that matter? You beat the crap out of that thing!" Rainbow looks like she honestly can't understand.

"Putting aside the fact that this magic almost killed me after using it, I wasn't in control of myself when I was supposedly using it! What if I'd killed one of you?"

"I guess you have a point...but I thought you didn't care if we lived or died?" Now Rainbow looks bitter, remembering our argument just before she left for the forest. She's partially right. I still don't give a shit what happens to Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich, since they're scum. She's the one that's different.

"I mostly don't...but you're the exception in this case. I didn't go back into that forest to save that bitch and her father. I went there to make sure you didn't get your stupid ass killed." Shit, I practically just admitted that I somewhat care about her. I mean, she probably knows since I killed a monster to save her, but it still makes me feel weak to say it aloud. Once you've gotten by on your own long enough, admitting that you feel something that's not hate for another individual feels like weakness. Like right now.

"I suppose that makes sense," Rainbow responds, causing me to look at her in surprise. Is she really not going to say anythi...and there's the double take. "Hey, uh, you want to run that by me one more time?"

"Don't make me say it again..." I groan, turning away. I can't bear for her to look at me right now.

"So...does that mean I wasn't going crazy when I heard you call me a friend?" Rainbow looks so hopeful right now. I'm already starting to regret this. No doubt she's going to stick to me even harder if I say yes...but I can't exactly lie. Even if I do, there's no way she'd believe me after I risked my life for her.

"...You is all I can say. I immediately curse myself at how dumb that sounded. Why couldn't I have just said yes? That would have sounded less stupid. Then again, I don't think it matters.

"Yea-heah, WHOO!" Rainbow's exultant whoop is accompanied by her attempting to move, which causes her to immediately wince and settle down. "Ow, ow, bad idea."

"Pfft, dumbass," I quip. Her response is to stick her tongue out at me. "As mature as ever, I see."

"Eeh, I'm awesome and you know it," Rainbow boasts in response, laying back on the bed. "This is totally great. I gotta show you so many things. Oh wow, I know, you need to come see the Wonderbolts with me. You'll love them, I promise you! Oh, and then there's this totally awesome book series I have to..."

"Ugh, shut up Rainbow. Too much at once," I grunt, wondering what I just signed myself up for. "I'm not going to suddenly make an about face in my personality simply because I find you one of the only tolerable ponies ever. I still find this world to be fucked up."

"Oh, sorry. I'm just excited," Rainbow says sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. Then she does another double take. "Wait, 'one of the only?' Are there more?"

"Just one. Apple Bloom," I admit. Rainbow actually doesn't look all that surprised at that.

"About time you realized that. I've seen you two together. That filly really likes you," she teases me.

"Gee, I couldn't tell, seeing how she fucking glomps me every time I see her," I shoot back sarcastically.

"Uh...glomp?"

"Human phrase. Skip it." I get the feeling that Rainbow would break my neck if she tried glomping me. Yet...the image of the tomboyish Rainbow glomping anyone is enough to amuse me. Come to think of it, she's the only pony I've met that hasn't tried to hug me. Which I appreciate.

"Excuse me," the nurse says, poking her head back in. We both look at her attentively. "Sorry to interrupt, but your friends are here to visit you."

"Rainbow, your friends are here," I promptly tell her with a wry expression. I can't think of any ponies that would have come to see me, after all.

"Thanks Nurse Redheart. You can send them in. We're good now," Rainbow answers the nurse, chuckling a bit at my words. Huh, so the nurse has a name. And it's Redheart. Could you have gone with anything less cliché? I mean...Redheart. Really? This world really enjoys giving ponies obvious names for their profession. Rainbow then turns to face me. "Brace yourself, Seth. I think all the girls might be here."

"Fucking wonderful...that probably means Pinkie too..."

"OHMIGOSH, DASHIE!" Almost the moment I open my fucking mouth, I hear her godforsaken voice, and then a pink blur zooms into the room. Pinkie immediately stops by a perplexed Rainbow and shoves a cupcake in her mouth. "YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!"

Rainbow looks about as confused as I am. Pinkie literally just showed up and shoved a cupcake in an injured pony's mouth. I don't...this fucking pony.

Rainbow chews the cupcake slowly, her eyes widening. "Thishes good!" she remarks through a mouthful. "Shpishy."

I'm not even going to pretend I understood what she just said. Pinkie is bouncing in place excitedly.

"Pinkie darling, I must insist you wait! You don't want to risk making Seth..." Rarity walks into the room next, and then she cuts off when she sees me staring pointedly at Pinkie. "...angry."

So many damn ponies enter the room after that. After Rarity comes Applejack, Twilight, Vinyl, Lyra, and that Fluttershy. Huh, I've only met that last one once. What's her connection to Rainbow?

They all give us assorted greetings, but one voice in particular stands out to me because of how much louder it is. "Seth!" Hang on, I know that voice. I can't see her because she's so small, but I recognize that high pitched, twangy voice immediately. That soon changes, because Apple Bloom rushes around to the side of my bed, looking both worried and happy to see me. She rears up and places her front hooves on the edge of the bed, being to short to hop all the way up. "When ah heard ya were hurt...ah was worried ah wouldn't get ta see ya anymore."

Seriously. Weaponize this filly. I swear, she'd stop even the most hardened criminals with sheer adorableness. God, listen to me. I've never been one to really call something cute overmuch, but I've been doing it nonstop since I got here. Her tearful face is practically unbearable."Ugh...come here you." Apple Bloom squeaks as I grab her just under her front legs, lifting her clear off the ground and onto my lap. "I'm fine, see? As you long as you don't get too..ow!"

Before I can finish talking, Apple Bloom hugs me around the chest...where my ribs are still attempting to heal. So pain shoots through me, and I have to remove her legs from me physically. "...close to my ribs. Oh Jesus Christ that hurts."

"Apple Bloom, git down 'ere and quit hurtin' Seth," Applejack addresses her sister. Yeah, fuck you. If your sister wants to cuddle, it's totally fine.

"Aww, ah'm sorry, ah'll quit botherin' ya now." Apple Bloom says to me, looking worse than before. She moves to get down, but I stop her.

"Hey, I don't recall giving you permission to get down," I tell her. She gives me an odd expression, as does Applejack, but Apple Bloom's turns into a smile once she sees mine. She curls up in my lap.

"Uh...Seth, are you feeling all right?" Twilight asks me in a very surprised voice. By the way Applejack and Rarity are nodding, it seems they find this whole display of affection to be strange for me. Well, it is and it isn't. I've grown a bit attached to this filly. Stop fucking staring at me like that.

"Isn't that a dumb question to ask someone in the hospital?" I remark. Twilight blinks, and then huffs.

"I meant...ugh, you know. You're acting a bit...friendlier than usual, is all," Twilight corrects herself. Well, that's a dick way of putting it. Even if she's right. Don't worry, I still hate you.

"I can be nice to whoever I want. Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" And my response is just as nasty as her question was. Twilight doesn't look nearly as hurt by that as I expected. Instead, she heaves a sigh.

"And it's back," she laments. While she was talking, Rainbow swallows the cupcake, licking her muzzle to remove all the crumbs. She looks around at the different ponies.

"Hey everypony. Thanks for coming back to see me. I've been so bored for the past few days," Rainbow greets her friends.

"Well, fuck you too," I comment, though not really seriously. I'm just being a nitpicker to piss her off.

"Oh hush, mister 'I've been out for three days while my friend is sitting in a bed bored out of her mind!'" Rainbow contests, though she's about as serious as I am. Which is to say, not really.

"Well excuse me for exhausting myself dragging our sorry asses out of hell."

"OH!" Twilight's exclamation is enough to draw our attention from our stupid conversation. She rushes over to me, practically getting in my face. She looks more excited than I've ever seen her. "That reminds me! You can use magic!"

"No way, really?" I deadpan. Even my sarcasm isn't enough to dampen her spirits. She practically starts hopping up and down.

"Oh, this is so wonderful! I want to know everything about it! What color was it? What was its composition? What sort of techniques did you use? Oh, I know! We could practice magic together! I've been looking for a partner...we can do so many things together...and..."

"Twilight! Fucking shut it already!" I stop her mid rant. Twilight stops, looking sheepish, while Rainbow and Applejack chuckle knowingly at their friend's expense. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Oh, but it is!" Twilight starts up again, her eyes brightening. "This confirms the long standing theory that humanity had a basic understanding of magic. Though it was always assumed that human magic was more of the clairvoyant or informational kind, and not combat magic like you showed."

"Really? Huh, I wonder if humans used magic to make music, like I do?" Lyra muses, lifting up her lyre with a thoughtful expression.

"I bet they do. That stuff they call 'dubstep?' Just magical," Vinyl agrees, and then she and Lyra start having a conversation about music that I proceed to tune out, since the idea of humans using magic is just dumb.

"Actually, you're wrong." My words cut off all of their individual conversations. "Humans created all the technology that you're now using because we don't have magic. We were the apex race because of our ingenuity, not this overly convenient magic bullshit you unicorns get to have."

"Huh? But, if humans don't use magic, what about what you did?" Twilight asks, looking somewhat troubled at the condescending tone in my voice.

"Hell if I fucking know. It just sort of happened. I wouldn't even have believed it if I hadn't seen that monster's dead body myself," I admit. This magical power that I supposedly have still freaks me out. "Besides, it's dangerous to both me and my enemy."

"Oh? This is fascinating. What do you say you come back to my library so we can study it?" Twilight suggests.

"Absolutely not. There's no way I'm using that magic in a civilized area. I don't know if I can even control it," I snap. Twilight nods understandingly.

"I understand. But I do have a way of measuring any magical leakage any untrained unicorn generally exhibits. I think I might be able to tweak the device so that it can measure yours too. That way we can learn more about its composition, among other factors," she informs me.

Well...as much as I hate to admit it, this magic scares me. I've said this before, but I hardly remember a thing about what happened back there. That feeling of hatred haunts me. I don't know what state of mind I was in, but...I wonder. Would I have hurt Rainbow if I'd continued to use that magic? I don't even want to think about that.

So it is probably a good idea if I let Twilight study this magic. The more I know about it, the better chance I have of keeping it sealed. I don't ever want to use it again. "Fine. I'll come to the library so you can do whatever," I tell her, earning an immediate squee from her.

"Oh!" Pinkie appears to suddenly remember something. "I'm so glad you're okay Sethie, but I gotta get a few things done before tonight! Bye bye everypony!"

"Later, Pinkie!" Rainbow calls after the pink menace as she dashes out of the room. Then it hits me.

"What did I tell you about calling me Sethie?!" I shout in annoyance, but she's already gone. As I settle back with a sigh, I notice Lyra watching me with a pensive look on her face. "What?"

"So...Sethie, huh?" Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Don't even think about it," I growl at her.

"What a cute little name...I think I'll start using it." Lyra completely disregards my warning as she looks at me coyly.

"If you call me that even once, I'll eviscerate you with your own horn." The other ponies in the room flinch at my threat, but Lyra takes it in stride.

"Aww, such a cute little Sethie," she coos. You know, I'm starting to reconsider my refusal to ever use that magic again.

"Shut the hell up. What did you even come here for? To piss me off?!" I demand. Probably the only reason I'm not carrying out my previous threat is because of my healing ribs, and the pony in my lap.

Lyra's smirk is replaced by a small smile. "Of course not. I came to see if you're all right, that's all. I was worried."

"Bullshit..." I grunt. That's right. She still thinks she's my friend. Nope, sorry. I only have two friends, and you're not one of them.

"Same with me, bro," Vinyl adds, moving to stand beside Lyra. Even Rarity, Applejack, and apparently Sweetie Belle, who just now reveals her presence by hopping up on Rarity's back, nod their agreement.

"Do whatever you want, I guess. As you can see, I'm fine," I express, figuring that it would be easier not to protest over much. You can't really argue with a group, because they will never let you finish a thought.

"Nurse!" Nurse Redheart turns to face me when I called her name. "When can I get the hell out of here?"

"If you lie still for at least another hour, your bones should have enough time to fully heal. You'll both be released from the hospital then," Redheart answers, checking something off on her clipboard.

"Okay, and how much is this all going to cost me?" I have a sneaking suspicion that the hospital bills are going to completely drain whatever funds I have left. That's how it generally is in my world. It should be the same here...or maybe not, considering the appalled expression on Redheart's face.

"Cost you? For medical treatment? What a preposterous idea! What gave you the idea that we'd charge you for treatment?" She sounds genuinely shocked at the concept. That's...odd. There's no way this is free.

"I don't know, maybe because getting all the materials and equipment necessary to treat patients costs a shit ton of money? Hospitals can't stay in business without getting revenue from somewhere," I point out, somewhat sarcastically.

"Yes, but we'd never dream of taking it from patients. What if somepony was dying, and they didn't have the bits to pay our fees? We'd have to let them die, and that's just wrong."

"So...you're telling me you fix up anypony who comes in here, free of charge?" This is getting more ridiculous by the second. Medical equipment costs a hell of a lot. So where are they getting their money?

"That's right. It's our duty as citizens of Equestria, and as ponies." Redheart displays herself proudly at this statement. "To answer your previous question, both the costs of medical equipment and the wages of the employees are paid for by the princesses themselves."

So...Princess Celestia and Princess Luna managed to pull off what our president back in my time had been attempting for years. Yeah, our president offered free healthcare. You'd think accepting that would be a no-brainer, but then you get idiots saying shit like, "ERMAGERD, Communism!" and "Don't you force your policies on me!" Dumb fucks. I'll take something that's slightly socialistic if it means I don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to save my own life in the event of like, a heart attack or something. Anyhow, enough politics.

"Huh...that's another thing better about this time than my own," I express.

"Wow, your species is messed up," Rainbow stated.

"Tell me about it."

Now that that conversation is over, the other ponies in the room start taking their leave, since they don't want to stand around for an hour.

"Ah gotta head back to the farm. No work tomorrow, Seth. Ah'mma let ya take it easy," is Applejack's parting words. Wonderful, so no pay tomorrow. Fucking great. "Come along, Apple Bloom."

"Aww. Will ah see ya tomorrow, Seth?" Apple Bloom asks me, hopping down from the hospital bed.

"Hell if I know. Depends on my mood," I answer. Apple Bloom nods and gives me a wave before she and her sister leave the room. Lyra and Vinyl leave next, followed by Rarity and Sweetie Belle.

"I'll see you back at the library tonight!" Twilight says to me, leaving the room as well. Huh, so apparently she scheduled that whole studying thing for tonight. Oh well. Not like I have anything else to do. Not being able to read sucks. I really need a hobby, since honestly there's nothing for me to do aside from sit around when I'm not working.

So now Rainbow and I are alone in the room, as the nurse had left to go do something or another. I don't really care.

Well, almost alone. I only now notice that Fluttershy is still here, sitting behind Rainbow's bed where I can't see her.

"Um...I'm really glad you're okay, Rainbow," Fluttershy murmurs softly.

"Eh, like a Scorpios could keep the likes of us down!" Rainbow boasts, causing me to raise an eyebrow. Excuse me, that had been practically all me. "That reminds me. Fluttershy, have you met Seth?"

"Oh...um...yes..." Fluttershy stammers, peering at me shyly from behind her silky pink mane. "Just once though."

"Seth, you'd totally like Fluttershy. She's one of the nicest ponies around," Rainbow says, looking at me. Fluttershy blushes at the praise, while I cross my arms.

"Great," I scoff, not really caring. "So she's the exact opposite of me, then."

"All the more reason to hang with her. Learn by example, right?"

"Whatever." I end the conversation there by turning away from Rainbow and gazing at the ceiling. I don't need a large group of friends. That just means more ponies that have a chance to back-stab me. No, just like before, I'm good with one or two.

"I need to get back to my animals. I'll see you later...I mean...if that's okay with you..." Fluttershy says as she backs out of the room.

"See ya tonight, Fluttershy!" Rainbow calls after her friend. And then there were two. It doesn't take Rainbow very long to get stir-crazy. "Ugh, what am I going to do for an hour?"

"What do I care? Take a nap or something," I snap, leaning back myself, adjusting my body so that my arms are linked behind my head.

"Huh, that's actually a good idea." Rainbow proceeds to turn over and shut her eyes. That just leaves me. Bored, I look around the room until I spot my winter clothes, freshly cleaned and neatly folded on the counter across the room. My phone and wallet are resting next to it, and my rifle is leaning against the wall nearby. Good, they had the sense not to wash my phone. I might have murdered everypony if that happened. Not really, but you get my point.

Maybe I should take a nap too. I expect the nurse will wake us up when it's time for us to go.

---

Well, she might have been planning on waking us up, but I actually wake up on my own, just as she walks through the door. I feel a lot better than before, as now only my throat is sore and I have a bit of a lingering headache. The places where I'm still wearing bandages still sting a bit, but better than before. My ribs also don't hurt at all anymore, so I guess that magic did its job.

"Ah, you're awake. I expect you're about ready to get out of here," Redheart notes with a smile. Hell yes I'm ready. But, since I'm still a bit groggy from my nap, I just nod. "All right then, if you'll just sign right here."

Redheart slides the clipboard over to me, along with a quill. There's what I assume is a medical form on the board, but everything is that same Equestrian scrawl, so I have no idea what it says. But I do recognize that little X that you usually sign next to, so I write my name down in cursive there. While I'm doing that, Redheart removes the needle from my arm, wiping away a small bead of blood and bandaging it.

"What language is that?" Redheart inquires curiously after I hand the clipboard back to her.

"English. It's a human language. That's probably worth money right there," I joke, figuring that there'd probably be human enthusiasts out there that would kill for a sample of human language. Redheart giggles a little, and then she extends a hoof to me. Oh, she's trying to help me up. "No thanks, I got this."

I gingerly sit up and climb down from the bed. When my feet hit the ground, I half expect there to be pain,but thankfully there isn't anything more than a slight twinge. As long as I don't spazz out or anything, I should be fine.

The next thing I do is move over to the sink that's in the room and fill up a cup of water. I'm not thirsty though. I walk back over to Rainbow and promptly toss the contents all over her face.

Rainbow immediately awakens, spluttering indignantly and rubbing a hoof in her face. "Agh, what the hay?!" Her face looks so fucking funny that I can't help but laugh at her. "Seth? Can't you wake a pony normally?"

"Nope!" I reply shamelessly, leaning back against a wall. "Get the fuck up. I'm sick of this hospital already."

"What, are we getting released?" Rainbow questions me. Then she notices Redheart smiling at her. "Oh. Sweet!"

Redheart hands Rainbow the clipboard and quill next. Rainbow grabs the quill in her mouth and signs the sheet as well before handing it back. Huh, I wonder if her words are even legible. How the fuck do you write with your mouth?

"Now then, the two of you are free to go. If you'll just try to avoid pony-eating monsters in the future," she jokes. This earns a laugh from Rainbow and a scoff from me.

"Trust me, I'm not going anywhere near that forest. As long as Rainbow stops doing her best to get herself killed, that is," I say, glaring pointedly at the pegasus in question.

"You're one to talk," Rainbow remarks, nudging me with a hoof after she gets down from her bed. Heh, she has a point. "If you stop, so will I."

"What the hell kind of bargain is that?"

"The best kind. Now stop complaining and accept it."

"Whatever. Let's get going now." I don't know about her, but I want to get the fuck out of this hospital. "First, both of you fuck off for a second so I can get dressed."

"Right, your human modesty or whatever," Rainbow recalls, while Redheart just looks confused. "Come on, nurse. He's gotta have his privacy."

I can hear Redheart questioning Rainbow about that as they leave the room. I tune the both of them out as I stride over to the counter and grab my clothes. Tossing the hospital gown (or whatever the fuck they call this piece of fabric they haphazardly draped over me) aside, I proceed to get dressed in my clothes, placing my phone and wallet in separate pockets.

When I go to shoulder my rifle, I notice something different about it. It looks...what's a good word for this...healthier. Like, less shitty than it used to be. The metal is no longer rough and the edges are no longer rugged. It like...looks as good as new. What's up with that?

I shoulder the rifle and walk out into the hallway. Rainbow is there waiting for me, but Redheart's missing. I guess she has other patients to deal with. "About time! Let's get rolling! You gotta go to Twilight's, right?"

"Apparently I do. She has a habit of making my schedule for me," I say, only slightly disgruntled. Like I said, I have nothing better to do.

"That's Twilight for ya," Rainbow agrees, and then we start walking through the hallways of the hospital. Rainbow appears to know her way out, so I follow her.

This place is pretty large. I wonder how I haven't seen this place yet from the outside. Or, maybe I have, and just haven't cared enough to mention it. Yup, that's probably it.

Once we're outside, I notice that the sun is setting. Great, how the fuck am I going to sleep tonight, since I've just woken up from three days worth of sleep?

Also, the town is oddly empty. Like, I know the ponies will be heading home and stuff, but this is more empty than usual. "Where is everypony?" I say. I then try not to groan when I notice that saying "everypony" and "anypony" is becoming almost second nature. Damn these ponies and their linguistics.

"Who knows?" Rainbow replies, clearly knowing about as much as me. Which is to say...nothing.

"Fine with me, I guess. I hate being stared at, anyway."

"Yeah, I'd rather they stare at me. I deserve the attention!" Rainbow jokes, puffing her chest out. I toss a scornful glance her way. She may be my friend, but I'm not so fond of her ego, whether she's joking or not.

"Sure." Rainbow looks a bit put out at my lack of response. I don't know what she expected with a joke like that.

The two of us walk (or fly, in Rainbow's case) to Twilight's place. I know I should call it Golden Oaks Library, but writing that more than once in a single entry is too much work. So it's Twilight's place from now on. Get used to it.

When we approach the building, I notice something odd. The lights are off. I think she lights her place up with candles and magic, maybe, so there's no reason for the lights to be out. I start to get slightly suspicious. "Why are the lights out?" I say to Rainbow as I near the door.

"Good question. I wonder if Twilight's home yet?" she answers. I stare back at her oddly. Rainbow returns my stare ready, smiling a little. Huh...I guess maybe I'm being paranoid. Oh well.

"Fine, I guess I'll wait out here." Impatiently, I flip around and rest my back against the side of the treehouse. Can't believe she's making me wait. I mean really? She seems like somepony who's super obsessed with keeping a schedule, so what the fuck? I'm going to make sure I give her a hard time the next time I see her.

"Nah, it's fine. Just walk on inside. I'm sure at least Spike is home," Rainbow urges me. I raise an eyebrow at that.

"I don't think Twilight will appreciate it if I randomly barge into her house, especially if she's not there," I point out. Rainbow flies closer, nudging me with a hoof.

"And since when have you cared what she thought?" Rainbow's wearing a knowing grin now. That gets me to stand up straight again.

"You have a point." Deciding I don't give a fuck after all, I push open the door to Twilight's place and step inside. The gloom inside overtakes me. It's so dark, I can barely see.

Something's wrong. For some reason, the inside of this place smells like a damn chocolate store. That's all the warning I get. A split second later, the lights turn back on, flooding the room with radiance and revealing the large group of ponies that are gathered there.

"SURPRISE!" They all shout at once. I, having expected nothing more than a simple check-up by Twilight, am startled as hell.

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaim in shock, and then I overbalance and fall backwards, so that Rainbow has to catch me and hold me up. "So...many...ponies...!"

Holy shit, there's so many ponies. Why are there so many fucking ponies? And, what the hell did Twilight do to her living room? That table that's usually in the center is gone, to be replaced by a dance floor, complete with Vinyl's LED lights flashing everywhere. Against the back wall is a large table covered with everything from punch, to muffins, to a giant ass cake. There's also a banner strung across the staircase that reads, "Welcome to Ponyville, Seth Rogers!" That's not even counting all the ponies that showed up.

Firstly, Pinkie Pie. Yeah...judging by the sign, this was her idea. I can't be mad at her too, because I did tell her she could. She's standing at the front of the group, bouncing up and down, a bright grin on her face. Twilight is just behind her, along with Applejack and her family. Yeah, Big MacIntosh, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom are here. Good, if Apple Bloom hadn't shown up to this, I probably would have judged her for it.

Rarity, wearing yet another ridiculous dress, is standing near them, accompanied by Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo is there as well, next to them. Even Fluttershy is here, shyly hiding behind Twilight.

I can see Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Carrot Top, Cheerilee, and even Zecora by the punch table, all of them smiling at my surprised reaction. Flitter is there as well, along with another mare that looks just like her, only with a more messy hairstyle. What the fuck...why are they all here for this dumb party?

Then, to my shock, I also notice Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon here as well, though they look more pensive and sheepish than anything else. What are those fuckers doing here?

"Hi, Sethie! Were you surprised? You look surprised, though you really shouldn't have because you said I could throw a welcome party, so I guess this is actually a victory for me since I still surprised you even though you knew it was coming and..." Just like I expected, Pinkie immediately starts spouting off. Her non-stop talking is starting to give me a headache, so I reach up and rub my temples. When she sees that, Pinkie stops stalking mid sentence. "Oh. Right. Sorry!"

"Well...I did kind of ask for this, didn't I?" I admit. Thankfully Pinkie had the sense to stop spouting off. Well, mostly.

"Yessiree!" If Pinkie's smile was any wider, I'd swear it was coming off of her face anime style.

"Well, then what are we waiting for? The surprise part is over, so...where's the music?" I say, waving my hand impatiently.

"Did someone say 'music?!'" And that would be Vinyl. I look up, and sure enough, there she is. Vinyl waves a hoof from behind her tables, the light from her LEDs reflecting off of her shades. She whips out a record from behind the speakers and holds it up. "Pinks, can I get started?"

"Heck yeah you can! Is everypony ready to party?!" Pinkie exclaims, her voice getting even more high pitched, if that's even fucking possible. The resulting cheer from the surrounding ponies is all the confirmation she needs.

Vinyl grins and slaps the record down on the tables, and a happy theme begins to play. It sounds a bit childish actually. I'm about to question her music choice when suddenly Pinkie starts dancing around in front of me. She opens her mouth, and a sinking feeling falls over me. Tell me she's not about to...

"Oh, Ponyville welcomes you on this joyful winter day,

It's really great to have you, we hope you're here to stay!"

...sing. She is. You know those guys in anime that have those weird little drops of sweat that show up during a dumb moment? That's totally me right now. Are you serious right now? Once again, I feel like I'm in a girls cartoon.

"We know a new life can be tough but we're all here for you,

"Equestria is really great, you'll make some good friends too!"

At that line, Rainbow touches down next to me and gives me a friendly nudge. Ugh...this is so embarrassing. Please stop.

"This is a joyous, a very joyous day,

Just think of all the fun games we can play!

Thanks to you we're all together,

We're birds of a feather,

Now let's get down and party all the way!"

Okay, that sounded like a chorus. Does that mean it's over? I mean, she doesn't have a bad voice (though in my opinion, it's more suited for a musical play or something rather than a standalone song), but I feel both embarrassed and slightly ashamed that I even admit that she's not that bad. Just make it be over so I don't have to...wait, what are they all doing?

So yeah, Pinkie repeats the chorus again, only this time every fucking pony in the room (Except for Filthy Rich and his entourage) joins in, trotting around the room. Like they'd rehearsed it or something. All of their voices blend together, so that it sounds like one voice with a lot of depth. I mean, I don't know much about choral theory, but I know that's what you aim for when you're in a choir. That's impressive.

Even so, right now I feel like the guy that everyone sings happy birthday to (I hate that fucking song), who feels super awkward about it.

"Now everypony DANCE!" Pinkie exclaims once the song ends, and Vinyl flips the record over and starts playing some awesome sounding electronic music. With that, the party kicks off. Ponies hit the dance floor and start mingling, though several ponies look like they want to talk to me. Before that, though...

"Pinkie, what the fuck are those things," I snarl in a low whisper just beside Pinkie's ear. She looks up to see me pointing at Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon. "...doing here?!"

Pinkie frowns a little. "Well, I know you didn't like them, but they told me they had something to say to you, so I invited them anyway. I hope you aren't too mad."

"Of course I'm fucking mad! I nearly died because of those fuckers! Whatever they have to say had better be good, because I'm kicking them out right afterwards!" I snap, my voice rising slightly. Pinkie's ears flatten. "Don't look at me that way. It's my party. I shouldn't have to look at the dregs of life when I should be enjoying myself."

"Aww, Sethie, just give them a chance! You never know, they could surprise you!" Pinkie advises me, her smile returning. As her smile grows, my scowl deepens.

"I don't give second chances. If they wrong you once, they'll do it again. I made that mistake before. I won't make it again," I grunt. I cross my arms and narrow my eyes. In the process I accidentally make eye contact with Filthy Rich across the room. He averts his eyes quickly, looking down at the ground.

"What do you mean? Did somepony make you sad?" Pinkie is attempting to look comforting right now. I'm not buying it. Besides, this is a party. I don't want to think about Janna now.

"Forget it. I'm going to get something to eat." I dismiss her question by turning my back and moving through the crowd of ponies to the food table.

Great, now I'm in a bad mood. At my own party. How can I enjoy this now? Fucking Pinkie inviting those useless scum.

Before I reach the table, I am stopped by Flitter and her unfamiliar friend. Flitter smiles brightly at me. She hesitantly cranes her head forward, almost as if scared that I'm going to slap her or something. What the hell is she doing? That question is answered when she tentatively nuzzles my waist. Seriously? Even she feels the need to invade my personal space now?

"Hey, Seth. I heard about what happened...and...I wanted to thank you," Flitter tells me softly, pulling her head back. The other pony that's with her appears to be...sizing me up or something. The way she's looking at me is a little unsettling.

"For what? I didn't do anything for you," I demand, confused.

"Well, not for me directly, but...Rainbow Dash is my friend. I would miss her terribly if anything happened to her," Flitter explains. That alone is enough to cause my expression to soften slightly. That I can understand. It's that same feeling that drove me out into the forest in the first place.

"Yeah. I get that, I guess. So who's this chick?" I confess, and then quickly change the subject to the pony who is now looking at my hair with an approving look.

"Uh...chick?" Flitter questions. Right, another human expression they don't know.

"Skip it."

"Oh, okay. This is my sister, Cloud Chaser." Flitter turns to her sister and indicates her with a hoof. Cloud Chaser gives me a nod.

"Hey there, I'm Cloud Chaser," Cloud Ch...okay her name is fucking annoying to write. I'm calling her Cloud forever. Actually...dammit, if I call her Cloud, I'll keep picturing that emo with the giant sword. Zack was better anyway. "I must say, when my sis talked about you, she never mentioned that you were so...unique. Do all humans look like you?"

"What a dumb fucking question. Seriously? Do all ponies look like you? I don't think so, since genetic diversity makes that physically impossible!" I deny viciously. Cloud Chaser recoils at my harsh greeting. Flitter winces as well. "So no, they don't. Besides, most of them looked better than me anyway."

"Sorry...but whoa, they look better than you? Tell me more!" Cloud Chaser gets this dreamy look on her face. Well, this pony disgusts me. Her flirting is worse than Lyra's.

"Sis, stop! He doesn't like that," Flitter beseeches her sister. She gives me an apologetic look, and starts leading her sister away. "Sorry, Seth. We'll leave you alone now. I'm glad you're okay."

"Fine, good riddance," I huff. Somepony who's not annoying, please talk to me. Well, the next one to reach me is Derpy...who immediately rears up on her hind legs and hugs me around the chest. "What the...oh, hi Derpy."

"I'm so happy to see you, Seth...I was worried," Derpy sniffs, nuzzling her head against my chest. Well...I can't move...and I think she's actually crying somewhat. As coldhearted as I usually act, there's something about this pony that makes me feel legitimately bad when she's feeling bad. So...awkwardly I wrap my arms around her, hoping that she'll stop crying.

"Uh...it's...I'm fine," I stutter a bit. I think it's working, because her sniffles gradually stop, and she finally releases me. A bright smile crosses her face, though I still can't tell what the fuck she's looking at because her eyes are all over the place.

"Want to come get a muffin with me?" Derpy offers, indicating the food table with her head.

"Might as well. Lead the way," I acquiesce, shrugging. Derpy does that little pony squee that they all seem to be able to do and trots over to the table, nearly tripping once in the process.

As I follow her, I notice Rarity looking at me. "What?" I demand.

"Nothing, darling," Rarity replies, a smug smile crossing her face. She then proceeds to sip at a glass of punch delicately.

"You're damn right." I leave her behind after that, cursing myself for giving in to Derpy's adorableness.

Together, Derpy and I gorge ourselves on assorted sweets. Well, by that I mean she ate the crap out of some muffins, while I had a bit of everything, including some of that cake, which is fucking delicious. And it's my party too, so I can have as much as I want.

Just as I'm about to eat another slice of cake, the three ponies that I absolutely didn't want to talk to approach me hesitantly. I set my plate down, my eyes hardening. This is going to be nasty. "Derpy, did you bring your daughter here?" I ask casually. Derpy looks up, her mouth full of muffin. She gulps it all down at once.

"Mhm. I let her play with the other fillies. Why do you ask?"

"I'd like to meet her. Why don't you bring her over here while I talk to these...these ponies?" My request causes Derpy's eyes to light up happily.

"Okay! I'll be right back!" she exclaims, and then she trots into the crowd, but not before grabbing another muffin.

Good, now that she's gone, I can be as nasty as I want. I wouldn't want her to have to see this. I unsling my rifle and place it point down in front of me, stopping their progress. "Why are the three of you even here? I don't give a shit about anything you have to say."

"I understand that. The both of us have wronged one another, but that's not why I came," Filthy Rich starts, looking somber. My eyes narrow. Did he just insinuate that I have something to apologize for? I'm just about to call him out on that when he actually kneels (or whatever the pony equivalent of a kneel is) down in front of me. The two fillies with him do the same thing. "Thank you for saving my daughter. Without you, we would have all died."

"I didn't do it for you, idiot. If Rainbow hadn't been there, I wouldn't have lifted a finger," I tell him bluntly. Filthy Rich winces, but remains as he is.

"I know that, but in saving Rainbow, you saved my daughter. I wasn't kidding when I told you she means the world to me."

"Dad..." Diamond Tiara protests, slightly embarrassed.

"I want to thank you as well," Silver Spoon says. Holy fuck, she can actually speak for herself? "I mean, pearls and glasses can be replaced, but my friend can't be."

"Are you kidding me right now? You don't have to thank me. Besides, I almost asphyxiated your daughter. Why aren't you still trying to kill me?" Yeah, I get that I saved their lives, but only because they happened to be there.

Filthy Rich stands back up, but instead of replying, he nudges his daughter. Diamond Tiara approaches me.

"I...well...you did hurt me, which I'm not happy about, but you were right. I tried doing something for myself, and it didn't work. I want to try and do things on my own now, so I can prove you wrong," Diamond affirms. Huh, even though she's admitting I'm right, she seems to have regained her snark. She turns around, but her father nudges her again. "Oh...right. Thank you for saving me."

"Whatever. Are we done now? Can I get back to my party?" I demand impatiently.

"Yes, we'll stop bothering you now. Thank you for hearing us out," Filthy Rich replies, and then he retreats, taking the two fillies with him. Finally.

Derpy arrives not long after that, a small filly unicorn with her. And it seems like Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle came too. "Seth, this is my daughter, Dinky!" She announces. The small filly looks up at me uncertainly.

Great, more introductions.

---

I'm exhausted. That party took a lot out of me, especially since I was still technically recovering.

Right now, I'm sitting at my desk back at Vinyl's place. I've already forced Vinyl to take my rent, leaving me at 17 bits.

That party, holy shit. After meeting Dinky, I'd essentially been suckered into hours worth of food and dancing. This other mare had showed up as well who was a fucking master at playing the fiddle. When she was playing along with Vinyl, man, I was dancing. With Apple Bloom, as well, because she insisted on being close to me.

Derpy is a crazy ass dancer. She wasn't even going to get on the dance floor, but the fillies and I pretty much forced her to. I mean, she had fun, but her limbs were flailing around all the fucking place. Probably because she has no coordination. I almost got clocked in the head once.

Lyra and Cloud Chaser insisted on dancing with me as well. So I said yes...and by yes I mean I let them dance near me, and they could think whatever they wanted.

The party lasted well past midnight. In fact, I think it's like, three in the morning now. My mind is still awake though, buzzing with thoughts about the past week.

Seriously. How could any of this had happened? I have two friends now, and I beat up a giant fucking scorpion constellation thing with dark magical powers that tore up my insides. Yeah, I think this is worth writing about.

I pull out my journal from the drawer in my desk, as well as a quill and inkwell. Now, how to even start this? Eh, what do I care. It's not like anyone is reading this.

"Well, I never thought something like this would happen. Honestly, I never thought I'd write in this journal ever again, since I felt like I'd pretty much acclimatized to living in this world called Equestria that still reminds me of something out of a vivid acid trip..."

---

Sorry this one took so long, but with finals week and all, there was no way I was getting anything done. To make up for that, I made this chapter longer than usual, clocking at around 9700 words. I also wrote another set of song lyrics in here, but they don't have accompaniment or a tune, sadly. I'm a performer, not a composer.

Arc 2 is over, where Seth finally admits that he has friends in this world of ponies. Granted, his asshole nature isn't going anywhere, but ever so slightly, you can start to see cracks in those defenses.

Now Arc 3 of 6 begins. Of course, arcs 4-6 are going to be MUCH longer than these, so I'm expecting around 500000 words by the time this is done. Anyhow, thanks for reading, and please leave a comment telling me what you think!

Looks like I'm writing in this again. I swear, I spend so much time on this thing, I might as well turn it into some twisted fiction novel. Like anyone would get a kick out of reading this. Anyway, I should probably start with saying: I feel pretty good right now. I know a bit more about this world I'm living in, and as well about this magic that I can somehow use. Sure, what I found out is a bit troubling, but it's not really that big of a deal.

No, what I really want to talk about is...oh shit, I'm still so giddy just thinking about it. It was glorious and...I probably should talk about it right off of the bat. I want to relive it from the very beginning, so I guess I'd better start from where I left off. You know, after the second party I've been to since getting here. There's something about parties that makes me want to write journal entries. Go figure.

---

"You ever gonna wake up?" Vinyl's voice awakens me from my slumber, filtering through my door to the bed, where I'm lying, my limbs sprawled in every direction. Well, I'm awake now, bitch. Thanks a lot. Wait a minute...holy hell, it's noon. I slept in really late. No wonder she's asking.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming out," I mutter, wiping the sleep from my eyes. You know, I slept longer than usual, yet I feel more tired upon waking up. How the fuck does that make any sense?

Grunting, I hoist myself out of the bed. Casting my gaze around, I see my winter clothes scattered every which way. I'm probably going to need to wear those again. Once quick glance out the window answers that for me. Yup, it's still all snowy out there. Come to think of it, if the first day of winter should be December 21st, which is four days before Christmas. Do ponies celebrate Christmas? Right, dumb question. It's called Christmas because it supposedly celebrates the birth of Jesus or whatever, with some fat ass getting added onto the legend later on in history. What? Santa always creeped me the fuck out. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that there's no way they celebrate that holiday. Heh, I wonder if they call it...Celestimas? Eh? Eh? Oh, fuck you.

Right, I need to not think about Christmas. I have too many memories associated with that holiday. Like opening my first LEGO set when I was five, with Adam and my parents and...shit, I'm doing it anyway. Vinyl, come here so you can distract me. After I get dressed though.

I throw on my winter clothes once more, which look to have been cleaned by the hospital staff sometime during my three day sleep. I haven't really had to do any laundry, since the world keeps throwing my shit that somehow provides me with clean clothes. Or I could just say I'm lucky. Whatever.

I knock the door open, noticing Vinyl at the top of the stairs, looking at me expectantly. "Morning, bro. How ya feeling?" she greets me in a friendly manner. I groan and move past her.

"Like shit. How else would I feel after oversleeping?" I tell her as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. She chuckles behind me as I descend the staircase into the living room.

I have nothing to do today really, other than seeing Twilight so I can learn a bit more about this magic that's taken up residence inside of me without my permission. I should probably see her first, so I have time to do whatever the fuck I want later without that hanging over my head.

"What do you want for breakfast, dude?" Vinyl questions amicably, trotting down the stairs and moving into the kitchen.

"Hell if I know. Just do whatever. I'll eat anything you make," I say apathetically, waving my hand. I guess I'm waiting for breakfast before I go anywhere. There goes another bit. Sheesh.

"Awright, I guess. I'll throw together a fruit salad or something," Vinyl responds, and then the sound of drawers opening and closing sounds from the other room. Huh, fruit salad again. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. "Don't you have a favorite food or something?"

"I did...not that it matters anymore. I doubt you ponies have pepperoni pizza," I reply, resting my head on the back of the couch.

"We have pizza, though I'm not sure what pepperoni is," Vinyl admits. Makes sense, considering pepperoni is meat, and ponies don't eat meat. Which sucks, because without the added flavor pepperoni adds, the pizza becomes pointless to me.

"Of course you don't. Besides, I don't need you going out of your way to please me." My words cause Vinyl to fall silent in the other room. I probably hurt her feelings a bit, but whatever.

"Right. Food will be done in a few minutes. Sit tight," she says after a moment.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Breakfast is awkward, because Vinyl seems to be getting annoyed with how I'm paying her for every meal. That and I still think she's still mad at me for turning down Princess Celestia's invitation. I can see the envelope sitting just above the fireplace. I don't know why she hasn't gotten rid of it yet. There's no way I'm going.

"Whatcha planning on doing today?" Vinyl asks, attempting to start a conversation. Man, I hope she's not about to invite me to something.

"I'm heading to Twilight's after this. She wants to run some tests on me or something." I'll head off anything Vinyl might ask by telling the truth. If she does invite me, I'll make up plans or something.

"Yeah, that's right, I remember her asking to do that. It's real nice of you to let her," Vinyl recalls, and then she pops a piece of watermelon into her mouth.

"I'm only doing this because I'd like to know what's going on with my body. I don't like having something inside of me that can potentially hurt me," I correct her. If this magic had been harmless, I would have told Twilight no. Or I might not have, since a human having magic is unprecedented. Who knows.

"Yeah, I get that. Still. If there's anything that mare loves, it's knowledge. She's probably going crazy with the anticipation," Vinyl conjectures. I try to imagine what Twilight is feeling like right now. Yeah, I can see that, seeing how she flipped a lid when I was "late" last time.

"Well, she'll have to wait a bit longer. I'm in no rush." Which is technically true. I have no real obligations since getting here. Not like college, where every moment I'm attempting to enjoy myself, my obligations to my studies would hang over my head. It's both refreshing and unnerving knowing that that's gone. At least then, I had a purpose.

I finish off my breakfast by tossing the last piece of fruit in my mouth. Then, I get to my feet and wordlessly move towards the door. "Heading out?" Vinyl asks, rather stupidly if you ask me. Of course I'm heading out. There's nothing else to do in your house.

"Yup. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Okay. See ya later then, bro. I'mma be chilling here for a bit before heading out myself," Vinyl calls after me, just before I shut the door and walk out into the street. Like I care what her plans for today are.

---

Fortunately, I didn't run into anypony I know on the way to Twilight's place. Once I reach her place, I rap on the door a couple times, until the door opens to reveal Spike.

"Oh, hey Seth. You here to see Twilight?" Spike greets me cheerfully.

"No, I came to check out a book that's written in a language I can't fucking read. You tell me," I grunt, hating the fact that I have to even talk to anyone other than Twilight. What is this guy anyway, her fucking doorman?

"Really? Why would you want to check out a book if you can't read it?" Spike hasn't caught on to my sarcasm, which causes me to rub my forehead in annoyance.

"I was kidding, you idiot. Of course I'm here to see Twilight. You gonna let me in sometime today?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure, come on in," Spike replies, putting on an uncertain smile. Then he turns around and yells, "Twilight! You've got company!"

Twilight zooms into the room at an almost comical speed, almost tripping at one point. Wow, she looks unbelievably excited. A large book is hovering beside her, held aloft by her magic. "Seth, You're here! Oh, I've been looking forward to this!" she exclaims. When she reaches me, she wraps a hoof around one of my hands and tugs me towards a set of stairs that leads downwards.

"Okay, no," I say, and I shake her hoof off. She looks back at me, confused. "I can walk on my own, thank you very much."

"Sorry, I'm just so excited. I've never had a chance to study magic like this before. Just imagine the discoveries we can make!" Twilight says apologetically, though her smile doesn't disappear.

"You mean the discoveries you'll make, while I'll sit around and be poked and prodded at," I reiterate flatly.

"No no, there won't be that much physical contact. If you'll follow me, I'll explain," Twilight corrects me. I sigh and gesture for her to lead the way. Looking satisfied, she leads me down the stairs and through a door, into a dimly lit tunnel. Spike plods after us, carrying a stack of books in his claws. Probably research texts. But never mind that, I think she's taking me underground? Why does a tree house even have an underground area? Wouldn't the structural integrity of the whole thing be compromised by the roots of the tree itself, as well as the fact that there's a giant empty space beneath an incredibly heavy object?

Before I can ask, we exit the tunnel and continue down a set of stairs that has no banister. There's also no wall, so I can see down into the room we're heading to. It's pretty bare, except for the research station set up along one wall. And...I don't even know what half of those devices are. All I know is that they look like they use electricity. I remember Twilight saying that only the wealthier ponies have access to electricity. So...is Twilight wealthy? Or does she just get whatever she wants because all she has to do is ask Celestia nicely? Probably the latter.

"If you wouldn't mind taking a seat right there," Twilight directs me, pointing a hoof at a a chair similar to the kind you'd find in a dentist's office, only without the armrests, since ponies don't have arms. "Spike, would you put those books down on the counter?"

Wordlessly, I do as I'm told, leaning my rifle against the wall. Spike also carries out Twilight's bidding, before making himself comfortable with a something that looks like a comic book in a corner.

The chair itself is comfortable, being made of some odd material I can't identify. It's similar to leather, but there's no way it's leather, considering that's animal skin. I bet if I tell any ponies that my wallet is made of leather, I might get lynched or something.

"So what the hell are you even going to do?" I ask curiously, craning my head to look at all the strange instruments. Twilight pulls down a book from a shelf on the wall, leafing through it with her magic. Is she ignoring me? "Hey!"

"Aha!" Twilight exclaims, setting the book down on the counter, opened to a page with a sketch of one of the devices here. "To answer your question, I want to start by measuring and analyzing the composition of any magical leakage you might be giving off."

"So let's pretend that makes sense to me. What exactly would those readings tell you?" I still don't understand what the fuck magical composition is supposed to be. It's just fucking magic.

"A lot, actually. To start, I should be able to make a rough guess of how much magic your body can hold, as that's just a matter of using Starswirl's Law of Rela..."

"Keep it simple. I could give less a shit about the finer details," I cut her off rather rudely. Twilight looks put out, but continues anyway.

"Okay...in laypony's terms, I should be able to guess at your total magical strength, what kind of magic it is, and other such factors," Twilight explains, still looking annoyed that she couldn't explain fully.

"Right. I still don't fully understand. Do whatever you're going to do so I can get out of here." A sudden thought strikes me as I finish talking. "If any of these tests hurt me, I'm going to knock you the fuck out."

"Please, Seth. None of these tests will hurt. Now be still, I have to attach the cables," Twilight assures me. I watch as several thin wires uncoil themselves from the counter and levitate towards me. They look like electrodes to me, like those things heart monitors use. So what, she's using a magic monitor?

Before the first wire reaches me, Twilight hesitates. "Hm...Seth, do you know where your magical core is?"

"My magical what now?"

"Magical core. It's the place where your magical power is channeled from your mana nucleus to the outside air. For unicorns like me, our magical cores are in our horns, and our mana nucleus is just below the base," Twilight clarifies, tapping her horn with a hoof.

"Hell if I fucking know. I didn't even know I could use magic until now." Honestly, like I'd be able to make sense of all these terms she's throwing at me. I wish there was a book I could read about this...one that I can actually understand that is. I really need to know how to read Equestrian. Perhaps I can visit somepony who has experience in teaching Equestrian. Like Cheerilee. That can happen later, though.

"Try and think back to when you used it, in the forest. Did it feel like your magic 'emerged' from somewhere? You can usually feel it passing through your core," Twilight urges me.

That gets me to think. That magic came to me right as the Scorpios was closing in on Rainbow...and, hang on, that pressure in my chest. I can feel it even now, though it's so low right now it's more like a dull throb that I'd never have noticed if I didn't know what I was looking for.

"Now that you mention it, it's probably right here," I tell her, indicating my sternum with a thumb.

"All right then. I need to get a cable attached there, so remove your shirt, please," Twilight requests, the cable in question hanging in the air just in front of me. That gets me to cock an eyebrow at her. She doesn't seem to see anything wrong with her question, seeing as how she's looking at me expectantly. I don't really like exposing myself. I did it for Rarity because she had to take measurements...and Twilight can't take measurements unless those electrodes come into contact with my skin. Fuck...

I slip out of my jacket and sling it over the back of the chair, soon doing the same with my shirt. I shiver somewhat at the change in temperature. It's rather chilly down here, so I hope this doesn't take too long.

Twilight colors somewhat when she gazes at my bare chest, her eyes lingering more than they should. Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. Please tell me she's not going to be like Lyra and Cloud Chaser.

"What?" I demand, feeling some trepidation. Twilight blinks, and then she adopts a sheepish expression.

"Oh, it's just that...I was under the impression you were a stallion. I seem to be mistaken." Twilight actually stammers a bit during her explanation.

"What the...of course I'm male! What in God's name would give the impression that I'm not?!"

"But then...why do you have those?" Twilight points at my chest. Looking down, I realize she's pointing at my nipples. Are you fucking kidding me? They're vestigial, you idiot. Aren't you a librarian? Wait, do male horses actually have nipples?

"Because all humans do. On males, they're vestigial. Now can we stop talking about this and actually do what we came to do?" I explain impatiently. It's really rather awkward to discuss sexuality with a pony.

"Sorry, but I don't know anything about human anatomy. So they actually serve no purpose on human stallions?" Twilight presses, but at least now she positions the electrode on my sternum. While waiting for an answer, she places several more electrodes across my upper body. Then she presses a few buttons on a strange machine into which the cables feed. It whirs to life, several lights on the sides of it flashing different colors.

"That's what vestigial means, dumbass," I remind her. Twilight gives me a pouty face at my answer.

"Okay, but you don't have to be so rude about it," she scolds me. My response is to scoff and look away. She huffs and proceeds to hook up another machine into the first one I mentioned, only this one looks a little like a seismograph. It starts taking readings by marking squiggly lines onto a paper that has several Equestrian characters written on it in a regular pattern. I assume it's a chart of some kind. "Oh wow, I'm already picking up some leakage."

"And? What does it tell you?"

"Just a moment," Twilight says, watching the graph. I do the same, noticing how the lines fluctuate. They go from being high and wide to being small and thin, and vice versa. This seems to occur at irregular intervals. "Your magical power is extremely unstable. I don't know how to classify this."

"The fuck does that mean?" I'm a bit worried. Will this magic end up killing me after all?

"I'm not sure. At its lowest, you've got less magical power than young unicorn filly, while at its highest, you have more power than I do. Fascinating," Twilight tells me. She looks to be concentrating really hard, but to the point where it looks like she's enjoying herself. I can never understand these scientific types.

"Get to the point, unicorn."

"Well, I don't have enough information to make a decent hypothesis just yet. If you'll let me take a few more basic readings, I might be able to come up with something," Twilight admits, looking at me hopefully.

"Do it. I did pay attention in my health class, unlike the rest of my class, so I can provide some information." I said I wouldn't tell her anything about humans, but at this point I'll relent slightly, since it's my own health that's at stake.

"Like what?" Twilight asks excitedly, as she digs out what looks like...a stethoscope? Really? Following that, she pulls out a few other medical measuring tools. Why does she even have these?

"I can tell you what the average human vital signs are supposed to look like. That way you can tell if this magic is having any averse effect on me." Goddamn, I feel like I'm back in a lab science class. Only this time, I'm the research subject.

"That would be excellent. Do you know your average heart rate?" Twilight is already getting ready to to place the stethoscope on me, but she stops and then looks sheepish. "Uh...and where is your heart?"

I clap a hand over my heart to let her know. "Right there. As for the average human heart rate, it's generally about sixty to a hundred beats per minute while resting. As for me, My blood pressure is always higher than normal, so mine should be around a hundred ten." Yeah, imagine the shit my parents gave me whenever I would have one of those energy drinks. They tasted good, but they had the potential to give someone with blood pressure as high as mine a heart attack.

"Fascinating! Your heart beats much faster than ours. When resting, ours is about thirty six to forty two beats per minute. Now then, let's see..." Twilight stops talking to press the freezing cold stethoscope over my heart. After a few moments of dead silence, she takes it away. "You said a hundred and ten, right?"

"Yeah, I did. What of it?" Something in her tone makes me anxious.

"I'm reading about a hundred and twenty two," Twilight reveals. I tense up at that. 122 beats per minute? That's ridiculous, especially for a resting state. That can't be right.

"You must have miscounted. Check it again," I order her. Twilight wrinkles her brow indignantly, but does as I say.

"Still around a hundred and twenty."

"Check it again!" No no, this can't be right.

"Seth, I'm certain I haven't miscounted. Are you sure one hundred and ten is your average?" Twilight says, setting the stethoscope aside.

"Of course I'm sure! I always ask whenever I'd go to the doctor's office! It shouldn't be this high," I'm actually starting to panic somewhat. Think, Seth. What does a high heart rate mean? It could be a heart attack, or worse, coronary artery disease. Maybe I'm overreacting, but a heart rate like this isn't normal.

"Well, do you feel any pain or discomfort?" Twilight questions me worriedly. I pause and take a moment to focus on the sensations I'm feeling right now.

Okay, nothing seems out of the ordinary except for that pressure in my sternum, but that's related to my magic. "No, I'm not," I confess.

"Then I assume that your magic is having some kind of effect on your body," Twilight hypothesizes, pulling out another measuring tool.

For a small period of time, I guide Twilight through checking the rest of of my vitals. The results of the tests are alarming. I'm breathing marginally slower than normal, though I don't feel any different, so maybe it's just that I'm able to take in more oxygen than before, for whatever reason. My body's temperature is sitting at 100 right now, but it doesn't feel like I have a fever. Lastly, my blood pressure is higher than it should be as well.

"Here's what I can deduce from all of these readings," Twilight begins, setting the thermometer and other tools down on the counter. "Taking into account what you said about humans not being able to normally use magic, I'd say that your body is not used to having this magical power flowing through it. Maybe these changes are just your body's way of adjusting to the changes."

"That's not all that reassuring. I don't remember choosing for this to happen. I don't like things happening to my body without my permission," I express, unnerved. "I don't want this magic. If I could give it up, I would."

"Really? I think of this as an incredible opportunity for you. That instability in the magic leaking from you is probably a result in how little experience you have in controlling it. Similar instability occurs in young fillies, though the fluctuations in your case are definitely more extreme," Twilight assures me. Wait, she wants me to learn to control this? No fucking way.

"I told you, I don't want this. This is unnatural. Is there any way to rid myself of this magic?"

"Seth, I don't think you should get rid of this magic. I think you've been given an amazing gift; one that you should cherish."

"I don't give a fuck what you think. All I know is that humans aren't meant to have magic. I was fine being completely weak," I tell her honestly. Twilight's ears flatten at the bluntness of my words. Then her eyes narrow.

"Are you? What would have happened if you didn't have this magic when you were with Rainbow in the Everfree?" She demands. I freeze. She brings up a very valid choice. Without that magic...

"Rainbow...would be dead. I hate it when you're right," I groan, rubbing my forehead. Twilight giggles. "But I don't want to use it. I'll just get hurt again."

"That's right, you did to have been exhausted mentally, not to mention the physical damage present on your medical reports," Twilight recalls, pacing back and forth. "Again, that's probably an issue with a lack of control. You probably used too much at once. While you can use more power that way, you run out of stamina much faster."

"Makes sense. And the whole internal damage thing?"

"I can't say for certain without examining it for myself, but..."

"But that's not happening."

"Right, I knew you'd say that. Anyway, like I said before, I'll guess it's because your body isn't used to having magic," Twilight finishes, halting her pacing and looking at me. It strikes me again how odd these expressive ponies look. You know that feeling you get after taking something for granted, and then you look again and realize how fucking strange it is?

"Uh-huh. So...is there anything else you need to measure?" I ask, looking around at the different instruments in the room.

"Not any that I can really do without seeing the magic for myself. I've already taken enough measurements to analyze the composition of your magic, but that will take me some time," Twilight answers. "If you're ready, I'll get you unhooked from these machines so you can leave."

"That would be real nice. I've had enough of a lab rat for one day," I complain. Twilight looks at me with a hurt expression.

"Seth, you're not a lab rat. You don't have to do these tests if you don't want to," she protests as she starts to remove the electrodes from my chest. Each one comes free with a quiet pop.

"Whatever." Though she is right. I could have told her no, but on one hand, I really needed to know if this magic would hurt me. On the other hand, she had looked so excited about the prospect, I'd have felt a little guilty turning her down.

Once I'm free from the machines, I put my shirt and jacket back on, and then grab my rifle from where it's leaning against the wall. Now, I should be thinking about what else I'm doing today. Maybe I'll go grab Apple Bloom from school again. Or find Rainbow Dash and shoot the shit or something. I don't even know. There's also the fact that I want to learn to read. So maybe I should visit the school.

"Seth, can you come visit me tomorrow? We should probably measure any potential changes in your vitals...and we haven't just talked to one another over tea in a while," Twilight suggests, and then she gives me a pitiful look. Really? Did she just try to guilt trip me into coming back to see her?

"If I feel like it," I respond honestly, and her face falls a little. "What? I'm still not convinced that the only reason you even talk to me is because I can make you rich if I tell you enough about humans."

Twilight protests immediately as I walk back up the stairs to the main level. "What!? How can you say that? I want to be your friend, Seth. Why do you make it so hard?"

"And what does the personal student of the Solar Princess or whatever hope to gain from a friendship with a lowly being like myself?" I shoot back at her as we pass into the main library.

"That's absurd! I don't think of you as being beneath me. I never have. Besides that, you don't go into a friendship based on what you hope to gain from it. That's not real friendship!"

"Yet, ninety nine point nine percent of friendships are indeed formed in that manner. Tell me I'm wrong."

"That's..." Twilight now looks distraught, no doubt because she's seeing the truth in my words.

"You can't. There's no way you can convince me that isn't how things are. So do yourself a favor and quit trying to befriend me. I'm not going to believe you're genuine," I lay it out to her as plain as possible. And then I get the saddest expression I've seen from her since I met her.

"I'll prove it to you somehow..." she says softly, just as I open the door to leave. I give her one last glance, and then I scoff and leave the building, shutting the door behind me.

Huh, looks like Rainbow and her team has been busy. I can see gray clouds rolling in, casting part of the town into gloomy shadow. I guess it's going to be raining soon.

I start walking away from the library, but I don't know where I'm going yet. Hm, what should I do? I guess finding Rainbow is out of the question, since those clouds apparently can't move by themselves. I guess I'm going to the school. That way I can see Apple Bloom and talk to Cheerilee about finding someone to help me learn how to read.

The town is pretty busy right now, since I think it's around lunch for everypony, if the lunch hour is similar to how it is in my time. There are ponies all over the place, though I don't recognize most of them.

At least, not until I run into Vinyl in the square, on my way to the schoolhouse. She's got her shades on, as well as a set of saddlebags, but none of her equipment is with her. Odd, I was under the impression that she doesn't leave her house unless she has a gig.

"'Sup, bro?" Vinyl calls, putting on a grin. She trots over to me, and then falls in step with me as I pass by her. Good for her, because I'm not going to stop what I'm doing for her.

"Just found out my body doesn't like this magic being inside of me," I explain.

"Whoa, is it like, bad for you?" Vinyl sounds worried, but I can't really read her expressions with those shades on.

"Hell if I know. I'm no scientist. Twilight is, and she doesn't know enough about humans to tell me either way." As I'm talking, I realize that it's barely past 1 in the afternoon. There's no way school will be out this soon. Ugh, so I have time to kill, and nothing to do. Oh well, maybe I'll go anyway and see if I can't catch them at recess. Or maybe Cheerilee will let me sit in. If they're studying history, I might actually get something out of it.

"Oh. Well, I hope you'll be all right. Can't do without my best assistant, now can I?" Vinyl soon sports a grin, somehow still managing to make a joke out of this.

"You mean your only assistant," I correct her dryly, not really finding her joke funny. This only seems to encourage her.

"That's why you're my best!" She proceeds to laugh at her own joke, while I roll my eyes. Just as we get closer to leaving the square, somepony else pays us a visit...in the most unconventional of ways.

The only warning we get is a panicked yell that slowly rises in volume until we look

up to see something hurtling our way. Instinctively, I duck beneath the flying object, so that it passes over my head. Looking up, all I can see is a flash of gray and yellow, right before it crashes into a market stall.

The stall is shattered to pieces, apples flying everywhere. One of the apples actually hits me in the head, which makes me recoil. The proprietor of the stall, which was none other than Applejack, is sent rolling end over end along with the offending pegasus pony that had collided with her.

"Oh no," Vinyl moans, facehoofing next to me. I'm holding the apple that hit me as I look at the destruction caused by a certain clumsy mare.

"Well, howdy there, Derpy! Fancy you droppin' in," Applejack grunts from underneath Derpy. Derpy gingerly gets to her hooves, snuffling adorably and rubbing her head.

"Hi Applejack! Sorry, the wind is bad up there," Derpy greets Applejack apologetically, pointing a hoof at the sky, where the storm appears to be getting closer. Then she notices the stall she shattered. "Oh! I'm so sorry...I'll...I'll pay for repairs, I promise!"

"Nah, don't worry 'bout nothin', sugarcube. It were an accident, nothin' major," Applejack assures her, picking up the apples that had scattered everywhere and placing them in a basket.

"But..." Derpy protests.

"If ya really wanna help, ya can help me wash these apples in the stream later," Applejack suggest. Derpy smiles brightly, and then nods enthusiastically.

"I will! But first I have to deliver these messages to..." Derpy takes a moment to flip through several sealed envelopes in her saddlebags. "Twilight Sparkle, Filthy Rich, and Vinyl Scratch."

"You have a letter for me?" Vinyl calls out, at last making her presence known to those two. Huh, I have time to kill anyway. I might as well follow her.

"Oh! Miss Scratch!" Derpy exclaims, turning around.

"Howdy, Vinyl!" Applejack greets her as well.

Looks like I don't get greeted. The...my thought is immediately interrupted when I get an armful of happy gray pony. "Seth! It's really nice to see you."

"Apparently," I remark, somehow managing not to fall over with Derpy draped over me. When she finally gets enough of me, she hops back down, smiling at me, her eyes all over the place as usual. I notice Applejack looking at me strangely.

"Here you go, Miss Scratch. One letter for you, courtesy of...an Erratic Tune," Derpy says, hoofing an envelope to Vinyl, who takes it curiously.

"Erratic? Huh, I met him once when he showed up at one of my gigs," Vinyl relates, opening the letter with her magic. "I think he was from Canterlot."

"What does a Canterlot pony want with you?" I ask curiously. Canterlot is where the princesses live, right? So that means they must be surrounded by the upper class. In stark contrast to anypony in this town except for maybe Filthy Rich and his family.

"One sec, bro," Vinyl tells me as she unfolds the letter. Derpy, Applejack, and I exchange curious looks as we wait for Vinyl to read the letter. It only takes her a minute. Over the course of that minute, her expression changes from curious, to pensive, and then to ecstatic. "No way! This is the greatest thing ever!"

"What?" The three of us ask almost simultaneously.

"You should probably read it, since I plan on taking you with me," Vinyl says, passing the letter to me. Wait, where am I going and why? Taking the letter, I look at it, and then I remember something important.

"Vinyl, I can't read."

Vinyl pauses, and then she facehoofs again. "Right...my bad, dude. Gimme that back then, and I'll read it to you."

This is why I need to learn to read. I don't want ponies to have to keep reading things to me. It's demeaning.

Vinyl clears her throat and begins, "Dear Vinyl Scratch, you may remember me from your performance on the twenty third of last month, when I was on vacation in Ponyville. I was impressed by the unique musical selection you employed during said performance, as well as the skill you showed in performing each song. I believe your skills are a perfect fit for my own establishment, and I would be honored if you would visit me at my nightclub in Canterlot for a performance or two. I am willing to pay you 200 hundred bits for each performance. If you are interested, please reply and/or visit me at my nightclub at the address printed on the envelope."

"Wow, you get to go to Canterlot? I've always wanted to go!" Derpy exclaims in awe. Applejack nods in agreement.

"Ah've been a few tahmes. It's fancy as all get out, but it ain't fer me," Applejack relates.

Well lucky for her. While she's going to Canterlot or whatever, I'll be out of a secondary source of income, and I'll be forced to find another job to keep myself...wait a minute.

"Did you say you're bringing me too?" I question her. Vinyl nods, and I get enraged. "I told you, there's no way I'm going to Canterlot. I don't have the money to go to a place like that!"

"I need my assistant, Seth. Someone has to help me get all my stuff to the venue," Vinyl reminds me. "I'll pay for you, don't worry."

Applejack winces at Vinyl's words. Vinyl realizes a second later what she said, as I get angrier. "What?! No! If I wouldn't let Princess fucking Celestia pay for my passage, what the hell makes you think I'm going to let you do it?!" I yell at her. Vinyl recoils, but I'm not done. "How many times do I have to tell you ponies not to do me any favors!?"

"Sorry, dude...I forgot you have this aversion to any sort of kindness," Vinyl retorts sarcastically. "If you're gonna be such a pain in the flank about it, I'll take the costs out of your pay. Now are you coming or not?"

"...Yeah...as long as I SEE you take the costs out of my wages. I won't let you pull one over on me," I relent, but I still eye her suspiciously. Vinyl nods and smiles in satisfaction.

"Good! Now then, we'll be leaving tomorrow morning, so be packed and stuff by tonight," Vinyl informs me. "I need to get going, since I have to prepare as well."

"Right, like I have any possessions to really bring," I comment.

"You should ask Rainbow if she wants ta go," Applejack rejoins, looking pointedly at me. "Ah know she's been thinkin' about headin' there ta see a Wonderbolts show."

"You know, I might just do that," I declare, thinking it would be a little less grueling if I brought one of my two friends with me. "Of course, I have to find her first."

"Trust me, she'll find you," Vinyl jokes, and then she starts cantering away. "See ya ponies later!"

"Bye-bye, Miss Scratch!" Derpy calls after her, while I turn the other way, since I should be going as well.

So...I'm apparently going to Canterlot. That's a thing that's happening.

---

So arc 3 officially begins! It will mostly consist of Seth's time in Canterlot, in case any of you haven't already figured that out. This will give me the chance to introduce a whole slew of characters that I haven't written about yet, like Octavia, Spitfire, etc. Also more Princesses.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think! I'm open to any constructive criticism.

After bidding farewell to Applejack and Derpy, I continue on my way to the schoolhouse. It isn't long before I get there, since I've pretty much memorized where it is in relation to the square.

There aren't any ponies outside, which means I probably missed recess. Lovely, so I'll be waiting longer to talk to Cheerilee. Unless I can convince her to let me sit in. I'm also not here on the clock, so I don't have to be so stiflingly polite.

I glance inside the building through a window, though I don't get too close. I can see Cheerilee standing at the front of the room, playing a slideshow of some sort through an old fashioned projector. Well, I say old fashioned, but it's probably top of the line for them.

I can also see all of the fillies with which I'm acquainted, sitting in the front row. Diamond Tiara is there with Silver Spoon. It seems they got most of their assorted items replaced, like the former's tiara and the latter's glasses. But fuck them, I didn't come to see them.

So...either I stand out here for hours, or I get over myself and knock on the damn door. Fuck it, who cares if I interrupt their school day? I'm not sitting on my ass out here for five hours.

Screw knocking. Just like before I throw open the door and walk into the middle of their lesson. As usual, all the little foals turn around and stare in awe at me. Apple Bloom and Sweetie both look at me and wave a hoof, which I return casually. As for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, they spare me one glance, and upon determining my identity, they wince and turn back around.

Cheerilee looks to have been in the middle of a science presentation. Well, one that's tailored for elementary students, if the bright colors and smiley faces are anything to go by. "Just one moment, everypony," Cheerilee addresses her class, and then she pauses the slideshow or whatever and walks up to me, looking curious. "Hello again, Seth. What brings you to us today?"

"Several things, actually. I don't suppose you've covered spelling and grammar yet today?" I begin. I might be able to pick up a few things if I can sit through one of those lessons.

"Sadly, we have. That lesson is one of the first things we cover, earlier in the day," Cheerilee tells me ruefully. I curse under my breath. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I can't fucking read. I was hoping to sit in or something," I admit. Cheerilee winces at my language, but she seems to understand my reasoning.

"You're welcome to come in whenever you'd like, of course. But I'm afraid I can't help you with reading during the school day," Cheerilee confesses.

"Why not?"

"I'm much too busy, and the students here have already learned the fundamentals of Equestrian. But I'm sure we could come to some sort of arrangement," Cheerilee assures me. Like what? Private lessons? I doubt I'd have the bits to pay for that. Fuck, there goes that plan. "Of course, if you wouldn't mind waiting until the end of school. That way I can give you the attention you need."

"Whatever. Do you care if I sit in here? I have nothing else to do, anyway," I ask her, resigning myself to several hours sitting around, doing almost nothing. Hopefully the subjects in this class will be more interesting than back in my time. Probably not, since it's elementary school material.

"Of course! We'd be glad to have you here. We actually have history coming up shortly; would you mind talking to the students about your species?" Cheerilee acquiesces graciously with a nod of her head...and then gives me a condition. Fuck. Well, I'm probably going to have to leave, since if I say no she'll probably kick me out.

"I'd rather not. I'm not really one for talking in front of crowds." Suddenly I realize I'm still being polite. Why am I doing that? Probably because she's done nothing but act level headed and treat me with respect. Yeah, that's it. That always goes a long way towards me not being an ass towards you.

"Ah, that's a shame, but I understand. Perhaps another time then," Cheerilee says, nodding her head. Really? She's just going to let it go? Just like that? No questions asked? "You can take a seat in the back, if you'd like."

Still wondering what the heck is up with this pony, I move to the back of the room and sit down at one of the desks...and then realize that the seat is way too small for me. Even so, I somehow manage to make it work, though it looks and feels incredibly awkward.

Sitting next to me are one filly I don't know, and then...hey, that's Derpy's daughter. Her name was Dinky, if I remember correctly.

"Hello, mister," Dinky whispers to me after I sit down. I respond with a short nod. The room goes quiet once more as Cheerilee walks back to the front of it.

"Sorry about the interruption, everypony. This is Seth Rogers, the human that you may or may not have seen around town. He'll be sitting in on our lesson today," Cheerilee announces, her voice taking on that motherly tone that most elementary teachers are supposed to use. "Say, 'nice you meet you, Seth Rogers!'"

"Nice to meet you, Seth Rogers!" the class choruses obediently, even those that had already met me. Well, this feels a little odd. I've never actually been in a school environment like this in many years. I'm used to the college classrooms, where nobody gives a shit who you are.

"S'up?" is the eloquent response that comes out of my mouth.

With that, Cheerilee continues the lessons, educating the foals about the different scientist ponies that influenced their society in different ways. I actually recognize a few of the names, since Twilight mentioned a few of them at some point. I bet Twilight could teach this class just as easily as Cheerilee if she wanted to.

I also notice a few scientific facts that are wrong, but I'm not that guy who corrects the teacher. Especially since I'm not sure how much scientific progress ponies have made in comparison to humans. I think we're still ahead, since the ponies have magic.

Then Cheerilee moves on to teach Equestrian history, which I'm particularly interested in. To my shock, the events that she dictates are nothing like what I was expecting. I expected her to talk about the different wars that they've experienced, but it turns out that the ponies haven't really had any outright wars since something called the War of Night and Day, whatever that is. She didn't go into much detail about that, since the foals appeared to already know about it.

Instead, Cheerilee essentially tells us that the closest ponies get to war is the tension between species like the diamond dogs and the dragons. According to her, sometimes groups of them intrude upon Equestrian ground and cause trouble.

Then you've got the countries Equestria is allied with. Apparently Equestria is on good terms diplomatically with Griffons, Zebras, and Minotaurs. So if I ran into one of them on the streets, it would be odd, but not dangerous. Fascinating stuff.

So mostly, history consists of different treaties and land deals, as well as the occasional raid by bolder diamond dogs or dragons, which were almost always repulsed by the Canterlot Royal Guard.

Now, I'm not a history nut by any means, but at this point I'm just gathering in as much information as I can about how things have changed over the centuries. I'm still wondering how in the hell ponies and griffons and dragons evolved over time, if that's the theory I'm going with. It's still a little suspicious that the species that developed share striking resemblances to human myth and legend. That's not even accounting for the magic that somehow came out of nowhere.

The school day ends after a math lesson, which almost puts me to sleep, since she's teaching basic functions, like multiplication. Some of the students appear to be struggling with it, surprisingly.

"All right, students, that's all I have for you today. Have a good day, everypony! Dismissed," Cheerilee declares, and the school bell rings for whatever reason. The students cheer and get to their hooves. Most of them filter their way out, though a few do say goodbye to me. Not that I responded. I could give less a shit about anypony in the room except for Apple Bloom. And maybe half a shit for Sweetie Belle.

When Apple Bloom reaches me, I note her increasing speed, so I kneel down in anticipation. Her smile widens and then nuzzles my cheek. "Howdy, Seth! Ah can't believe ya went to school with us today!" Apple Bloom says once she backs off.

"Yeah, your sister let me off work, in case you forgot. I don't really have a hobby, nor the money to get one, so I had nothing else to do," I explain to her, standing back up. I hear a whine down from below. Oh for the...I have to kneel back down again to satisfy Sweetie Belle's need for physical affection as well, though I don't feel the need to reciprocate like I do with Apple Bloom. "Hey, Sweetie Belle."

Scootaloo stands back from the rest, looking at me strangely. It's not pure hate like it was before, but I'd actually prefer that to this weird look she's giving me, like she's trying to look right through me.

"No hobby? Well, what do ya like ta do?" Apple Bloom inquires. What does she care? I just don't have the money to pursue anything.

"I'll answer that later. I need to speak with Cheerilee. It's why I came here," I reply.

"Okay! We'll wait outside for ya," Apple Bloom responds, and then she and her two friends scamper out of the schoolhouse. Soon, it's just Cheerilee and I alone in the room.

"Ah, Seth. Did you enjoy the lesson?" Cheerilee asks cheerfully as I approach her.

"Yeah, I totally loved being taught subjects that I learned when I was five," I remark. Cheerilee frowns at that. "Don't get me wrong though, I enjoyed the history portion. I know next to nothing about Equestria, so that much was informative."

"That's good. Now then, I believe you wanted to learn how to read our language?" Cheerilee continues. I don't think she knows how to handle me yet, if that expression of hers is anything to go by.

"Yup. I'm tired of having ponies read my own letters to me," I grumble. Cheerilee chuckles understandingly.

"Well, if you like, I can tutor you after school, for only two bits an hour," she offers. 2 bits an hour...so if each session is three hours...that means six bits a day. Add that all together, and my expenses total 12 bits a day.

"That would be great, but that puts me in the red as far as money is worth," I grunt, feeling disappointed. "I guess I'm wasting your time. See ya."

Just as I turn to leave, Cheerilee calls after me. "Wait! If you're hurting for money, we can discuss some other options."

"Like what? I won't accept charity," I tell her sternly. It's weird how many of these ponies keep trying to do stuff for me without receiving any payment.

"I don't intend to give you charity. I can see this is important to you, so if you can provide me with a service, I won't mind helping you out for free," Cheerilee assures me. Hm...so basically another equal trade. I should see what she wants before I decide either way. I cross my arms and wait for her to continue. "Would you reconsider speaking for my class? I'm interested in what you have to say as well."

"I already said no, and I meant it. I don't want to talk about my species, ever," I snap, my voice cold. This is the third time she's asked, so it's high time I let her know that it's never going to happen. Cheerilee visibly flinches at my rebuttal.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. I didn't realize it was a painful subject for you," she apologizes, looking at me sympathetically. "How about this: a few days a week, why don't you come in and help out the students in my class that are struggling more than others?"

"What, you mean teaching them math and shit?"

"That's correct. There's simply not enough time in the day for me to look after each and every student and still complete my curriculum for that day. I could use some help," Cheerilee clarifies for me.

Huh, that's actually not a bad plan. I teach some dumb fuck how to multiply, and I get to learn how to read Equestrian. Seems like a deal to me. "Sounds good. When can I come in to see you?"

"Any day after school, I'll be available for at least two hours," Cheerilee answers me. I think for a moment, and then I nod.

"Okay. I'll be in Canterlot for who knows how long come tomorrow morning, so I'll take you up on that when I get back," I inform her. Cheerilee looks surprised, and then interested.

"Oh? Why are you going to Canterlot?"

"None of your damn business," I snap, because it really isn't.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." The hell...this pony's ability to stay level headed is fucking impressive. No matter how much I snap at her...she never snaps back. It's like how Applejack is.

"Whatever. Anyway, I have ponies waiting on me. I'm gonna head out now." I turn to leave once more. This pony makes me uncomfortable. I hear her call out a farewell behind me, just before I shut the door.

Just as expected, there's Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, sitting on their haunches waiting for me. Though Scootaloo is nowhere to be found. That's good, because I don't feel like dealing with her.

"Great, you're back! Let's go then!" Sweetie Belle exclaims upon seeing me, and then she and Apple Bloom cry out, "Yay!"

"Go? Go where? I just came to talk to Cheerilee," I demand, though in all honesty I'm not really opposed to going with them. At the very least it'll be something to fill up the time.

"Ya still gotta see our clubhouse!" Apple Bloom reminds me. Shit, that's right. She did seem pretty insistent on that the last time I played with her, but then Scorpios happened, so I forgot about it.

"Too bad Scootaloo's not here. Then we could have made it a Cutie Mark Crusaders club meeting," Sweetie Belle laments. The two of them both let out sighs of disappointment, and then start walking down the path. I follow them as well, easily keeping pace with them.

"And what exactly makes it a meeting, as opposed to like, you know, just hanging out?" I rejoin . There's one thing I just can't understand, and that's all the overhyping, so to speak, that kids do. Like the whole, "the floor is lava," bullshit, and thinking that three of them is a secret club or something. According to my parents, I'd done shit like that too, but it's been so long, I can't remember anything about my early childhood. Just flashes...and faces.

"We're trying to find our cutie marks! We promised each other that we'd find them together," Sweetie Belle replies, beaming happily.

"Still not seeing why that qualifies as a meeting," I point out. At that, the two fillies exchanged confused glances, and then back at me.

"It just does," Apple Bloom insists. And there it is. I knew there wouldn't be any logical reason. Cutie Mark Crusaders...could they have come up something less dumb? That name still makes me cringe.

"It...just does. Okay, seems legit," is my deadpan response. I give a small shrug. I might as well drop the subject.

"What does 'legit' mean?" Apple Bloom inquires. Right, that's human slang.

"It's a human phrase. I doubt you ponies would kn..."

"It means genuine, or real. It's short for legitimate," Sweetie Belle interrupts, though she's addressing Apple Bloom and not me.

"...and I stand corrected. Huh," I remark.

---

The rest of the trip to Sweet Apple Acres passes by uneventfully, with the two fillies mostly discussing some of their previous attempts to get cutie marks, though honestly I just tuned them out.

Sweet Apple Acres looks different in the snow. Almost surreal. Most of the snow on the front lawn and path is undisturbed, save for a few sets of hoofprints leading between the main living area to the different outlying structures. Seems like the Apple family has been doing some work, even on a frigid day like this. Though without crops, what do farmers do?

"Oh! I know what we should do!" Sweetie Belle explains. You know, I never really paid attention, but that little squeak in her voice that pops up every now and then is really cute. "We should try to get our cutie marks in snow fort making!"

"Yeah, that's a great idea! We can do that after we show Seth the clubhouse," Apple Bloom agrees, her eyes lighting up. As for me...

What even the fuck...I doubt anypony can get a damn cutie mark in something like that. I mean, A pony that gets a talent like that would be essentially useless, right? Nopony is going to buy a damn snow fort.

"I don't have any gloves," I point out. They look at me oddly.

"What are gloves?" Apple Bloom asks, tilting her head to one side. Wait really? Right...they don't have hands, and I doubt hooves can get cold. That's totally unfair...you two don't even know how many humans have lost their hands or feet because of the fucking cold.

"I have hands. See these things?" I waggle my fingers before their bewildered eyes. They look amazed, like they'd never seen a hand before. Which they probably haven't. "They're not all hard like your hooves are. They get cold. Fast."

"Does that mean ya can't make a snow fort with us?" Apple Bloom asks piteously. Uh oh, is she going to pull that stupid bullshit with the puppy dog eyes and shit...and there it is. Dammit, does she do that purposefully, or is it just a passive ability she has?

"Sorry, filly, frostbite is still frostbite. Unless you have something to keep my hands warm, I'mma have to sit this one out," I tell her matter of factly. Instead of getting discouraged, the two fillies instead start thinking hard. I hope they're not scheming anything stupid.

"I have an idea! Why don't we use oven mitts?" Sweetie Belle suggests suddenly as we near the main barn.

"Oven mitts?" I repeat listlessly, but I'm ignored.

"That's a great idea! Ah think there's a pair in the kitchen. Ah'll be raht back!" With that, Apple Bloom dashes into the barn, knocking the door open with a hoof and disappearing inside. I can already hear Applejack and Granny Smith making surprised noises.

"Fillies," I groan, facepalming. Just like kids in my world, the moment they get their mind set on something, they're gone. I hear Apple Bloom coming back before I see her.

"Apple Bloom, what in tarnation are ya..." I hear Applejack's voice say.

"NotimetotalkgonnabuildsnowfortswithSethgottagobye!" Apple Bloom answers hurriedly before she zooms back out into the snow in front of us. She slides to a stop, scattering snow over us, so I have to cover my face with my arm.

"Fillies," Applejack remarks from inside, much to my amusement.

Apple Bloom hoofs me the oven mitts she was talking about. Feeling them, I can tell they're made of something like nylon. They're not the kind of mitts I'm used to though, since they're made for hooves, but I can use them. I slip them on over the cuffs of my jacket. That stretches the material such that it will stay firmly on my hands.

"Let's see," I muse, reaching down. It's easy to scoop up some snow from the ground. I crush it against my fingers from within the mitt, and thankfully, I barely feel the cold. "Good enough. Now let's go, since you seem to be dead set on showing me this clubhouse of yours."

"Yay! Follow us, Seth," Apple Bloom cheers, and then she and Sweetie Belle scamper away from the barn, and towards the apple orchard. Their clubhouse is in the orchard? How come I never saw it when I was working out here before?

Probably because I never cared to look back here. It's very close to the barn, so all of the apple trees were stripped bare, so there was never any need for my work with Applejack to take me back this way.

"Ta-da! There it is. Are you impressed?" Apple Bloom proclaimed, indicating the tiny ass house in the tree with a hoof.

Not really. It doesn't really look like much. I mean, it's fancy that these kids actually have a clubhouse, but it's practically a glorified box. It seems like some effort was put into making it, as the building is suspended halfway up the tree by a wooden platform that's held up by wooden support beams. The platform is larger than the base of the house, so it's got it's own little porch, complete with wooden railings and everything.

There's a set of stairs leading up to the front door...and by stairs I'm being generous. I mean a ramp with lumps on it. It wishes it was a staircase. There's two windows, one on the right wall of the house, and another just above the door, though why it's up there I have no clue. I doubt this place has a second floor.

"Whatever. At least you have one," is the best response I can come up with. The two of them look at me oddly.

"What do you mean?" Sweetie Belle questions. Yeah, I don't feel like explaining how spoiled you two are to actually have this. Well...I guess 'spoiled' is a little to strong of a word, because Apple Bloom is in a farming family, so I bet she works her little ass off. Even so, you don't see many kids in my time having fucking treehouses.

"Nevermind. Aren't you going to show me the inside?" I state, attempting to divert their attention. Which of course, works, since they're fillies.

"Yeah! Come on Seth, you'll love it!" Apple Bloom cheers, and she and Sweetie Belle dash up the stairs to the clubhouse. I hope they don't expect me to run that fast. There's no force in the world that'll make me do anything other than take my time right now.

The inside of the clubhouse isn't anything special either. It's devoid of any kind of furniture except for a small table and a box. There's a small oil lantern there as well that looks to be lit by a string mechanism, hanging above the table. There are some posters and drawings on the wall, and some brightly colored drapes. And that's it. They don't really have much.

"There's not really much here," I state, being brutally honest. When they look at me for clarification, I continue. "Where the hell do you sit? Or like, where do you keep the supplies needed to draw those pictures you have up there? Better yet, there's no place for any kind of storage here. How can you be satisfied with this?"

"Because it's ours!" Apple Bloom answers proudly, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I give them a deadpan stare. Really? The logic these fillies use continues to astound me. It's so...simple. They call themselves a club because they feel like it, and live in a dingy little house like this, and they love it because it's theirs. Is their life really that simple to enjoy? "Sweetie Belle, if ya would?"

I hide a smirk, both at Apple Bloom's attempt to sound fancy, and when Sweetie Belle starts strutting around self importantly, giving me a "tour of the premises," in her own words.

"This is our cutie mark planning spot, where we think of our daily crusades! See, this little lamp is what we use when we indicate we have an idea!" Sweetie begins, while my disbelief continues. Sweetie Belle continues to detail the "super important" roles each single piece of decoration does. This is just dumb. I feel like I'm losing neurons just listening to this.

"But...we don't need any of this right now, because we already know our crusade for today," Sweetie Belle finishes, and then she looks at Apple Bloom expectantly.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SNOW FORT MAKERS YAY!" the two of them cheer at the top of their damn lungs. Ow...my eardrums. Fucking fillies and their damn energy. Also...what the fuck did they just say? I think I just felt myself die a little inside. I don't want to write that again, because it was so fucking stupid.

"Do it with us, Seth?" Apple Bloom offers.

"No," is my immediately response. They both approach me, smiling.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"No."

"Please?"

"Hold on, let me think about this for a second...no!"

"But..."

"Oh my God...no." Finally, the two fillies give up, sighing in disappointment. You've got another thing coming if you think I'd ever say something so unbelievably stupid. I don't think I've ever cheered for something in my life, and I'm not about to start now, especially not for making fucking snow forts.

"Oh well. Next time, then," Sweetie Belle says nonchalantly. Right, like you'll convince me that easily.

"Fergit that, let's make snow forts!" Apple Bloom declares. Sweetie Belle agrees with another loud cheer, and the two of them dash out of the clubhouse. Which means I'm once again following them back out at my own pace.

---

Yeah, this practically takes up the rest of my damn day. The storm doesn't get here until sundown, and by then, we've had enough time to exhaust ourselves making useless snow forts.

Even though I say that, I did have some degree of fun. To the point where I feel like writing down what happened.

So it starts simple. I stand there with my back against the tree watching them attempt to build their own snow fort. By attempt, I mean fail miserably. It's almost painful watching them throw together a pile of snow and attempt to make it into a building. That's not how you...ugh, and now a pile of snow fell on Sweetie's face. What did you think was going to happen if you tried making a roof without support?!

Come to think of it, is this even good snow for molding? Reaching down and scooping up a wad of snow for myself answers that question well enough. The snow here is thick and sticks together. Hell, this is perfect. Any kid in my time would kill for snow like this back where I lived.

"Ack!" I look to see that the whole construct had collapsed on Apple Bloom after she'd attempted to make a wall taller. She stuck her little head out of the snow pile, snuffling adorably. It kills me how cute this filly is.

"No, maybe we should make the roof last? Just build the exterior first?" Sweetie suggests, making me facepalm.

"The what now?" Apple Bloom asks.

"The outside," Sweetie clarifies. Apple Bloom nods in understanding as if it's a smart thing to do. I can't take it anymore. As they go to try again, I get involved.

"No no no no, and no. You're doing it so wrong, I don't even know where to start," I interrupt them, joining them at the felled pile of snow. They look at me with a mixture of happiness and curiosity on their face. I guess they're glad I'm finally joining them. "First, you don't 'build the exterior first.' Without support, the walls are just going to fall over every time. Second, what the hell were you thinking, building the roof so early? And third, why...oh god why, are you trying to build your next attempt on the failed remains of your last one?!"

"Why don't you give it a try then? You seem ta know an awful lot about fort makin'," Apple Bloom suggests, indicating the pile with her front hooves.

"Are you nuts? I'm not doing this on my own. This was your idea, so you're going to help me. Get your scrawny little tails over here," I snap at them irritably. I expect them to recoil, but instead I get another cheer.

"Aye aye, forepony!" Forepony? Do they mean...foreman? This world is so dumb in so many different ways.

I'd like to say I made a badass fort that looks like fucking Camelot or something...oh, pardon me, I mean Canterlot...but that's not how things turn out at all. These little fillies are fucking destructomites.

So the first fort I attempt to make with them, I misjudge the amount of support I need to make the first level, and so it crumbles back into the drift.

The second time, I get that part right, but then Apple Bloom trips into the wall, the fort tips over from the wind of the approaching storm, and then it crumbles back into the drift.

But the third one stays up! Pfah, I'm lying. Of course it doesn't. This time, Sweetie Belle decides to blame the failure of the last fort on Apple Bloom, so the two of them scuffle so hard they destabilize the thing. And this time, I'd gotten so far, we already have a roof. So what do you think happens when they hit the wall?

It all fucking collapses on us. So I end up getting trapped under at least a pound of freezing cold snow, courtesy of those two fuckers.

"Goddamn it, Sweetie Belle!" I curse loudly, poking my head up from the snow drift. I spit snow out of my mouth. I'm shivering now, because I'm pretty sure there's snow in every single article of clothing I'm wearing.

Sweetie Belle pops her head out of the drift next, laughing nervously. "Sorry forepony," she says sheepishly. Apple Bloom pops out next, and proceeds to stare at Sweetie Belle accusingly.

"I give the fuck up. Making snow forts is impossible," I admit, hoisting myself out of the snow and shaking myself free of all the snow. Of course, I can't get rid of all of it, considering some of it is in my clothes.

"My sis says never ta give up. We jus' gotta keep tryin!" Apple Bloom attempts to assure me, but I'm past caring. The sun is going down, I'm freezing, and I swear to god I'm going to throw Sweetie Belle at a tree.

"Apple Bloom! You out here?" That's not Sweetie Belle. We all look over to see that Applejack has entered the clearing. And there's nowhere to hide from her. She spots us easily, smiling, but when she sees me, she stops and looks at me oddly. "Seth? Yer with ma sister again?"

"So? Quit fucking looking at me like that," I growl, not appreciating her question. I can already tell what's going to happen. She's gonna start making assumptions, and then challenge my character, and other such bullshit that people (or ponies) do when they see me acting even a little bit nice. Pisses me the fuck off.

"Are ya sure ya ain't friends with ma sister?" Applejack remarks, stepping forward with a smile. As I rub my forehead in annoyance, she helps Apple Bloom out of the snow drift.

"Clearly you ponies have a hard time minding your own goddamn business. It's no concern of yours who I choose to spend my time with," I snap, my anger rising. Applejack's smile drops immediately.

"Let's get somethin' straight here, pal," Applejack says calmly, but her voice is more intense than I've ever heard it before. Her expression changes to match that, and I instinctively take a step away from her when she approaches me. When she's close enough to look me directly in the eyes, she continues. "Yer right, it don't matter to me who ya hang with. But when it's ma sister we're talkin' about, it's always ma business."

"Sheesh, all right," I relent, and Applejack backs off, her smile returning. That wasn't terrifying or anything.

"Good. Glad we got that straightened out," she affirms, nodding. I shiver a little bit. Couldn't you have at least yelled at me a bit? I don't think I've ever been called out like that before. I can't help but respect her for it...especially since I realize now that she's right. Adam was always protective of me. I guess I can't fault her for doing the same for Apple Bloom.

Applejack turns to the two fillies. "Apple Bloom, why don't ya run back to the house. Granny Smith says dinner's on the table. Sweetie Belle, you can come too."

"Okay! Bye Seth!" Apple Bloom says, and then she and a happy Sweetie Belle run back towards the barn, leaving Applejack alone with me.

"Want to join us?" Applejack offers. Seriously? Again? Even after I snapped at you like that? What is with this pony?

"My answers still the same, Applejack. No." Once again, Applejack is still not phased, despite this being like the hundredth time I've denied her.

"Okay. I'll see ya when ya git back from Canterlot then." she acknowledges, and she turns her back and moves back towards the farm. I watch her go, and then for some reason, I call after her.

"Applejack?" She stops and looks back at me curiously. "Your sister's pretty cool."

Applejack appears stunned for a few seconds, and then she grins and tips her hat. "That she is, Seth. You have a good naht now."

---

I'm just about to walk onto the street where Vinyl's place is when a gust of wind lets me know somepony is paying me a visit. And since I only know three winged ponies that would go out of their way to see me it's likely Flitter or R

"S'up, Seth?" It's Rainbow Dash. She hits the ground gracefully and proceeds to walk next to me, since I don't stop.

"Hey Rainbow. Nothing much, unless you count Sweetie Belle being a walking disaster," I remark. I don't know what my mood is supposed to be right now, so I'm actually rather glad she's here. She is like, the only pony I'll actually go out of my way to talk to.

"Oh no, tell me she didn't try to cook for you," Rainbow says with a knowing grin. I raise an eyebrow at that.

"No, but I'm making a mental note to never let that happen," I assert. I can't even imagine what kinds of disasters she'd cause in the kitchen if she can't even keep from wrecking a damn snow fort. "We were making snow forts, and she practically wrecked every one."

"Hah, I can totally see that happening. I'm glad you and the girls are getting along so well," Rainbow says with a smile.

"Whatever."

"By the way, I heard you're going to Canterlot," Rainbow divulges, no doubt wanting me to give her more information.

"Probably from Derpy or Vinyl. What does it matter? I'm just going there to transport her shit around," I reply bitterly. Then suddenly I remember Applejack telling me Rainbow has been wanting to go to Canterlot. I feel like I'd hate the trip less if I had a friend with me. "What, did you want to go too?"

"What? Heck yeah, dude, I'd love to go. But I don't really want to go by myself, you know?" Rainbow answers as if it were obvious. I now see a chance to poke fun at her. Because I'm an asshole, I take it.

"What, is this the Rainbow Dash, being too scared to go to the big city all on her own?" I tease her. Rainbow nudges me good-naturedly.

"Yeah right! I could do it no problem! It's just less fun without something to share the experience with," Rainbow explains with a grin.

"So are you wanting to go too?" Rainbow leans in towards me with a sly look on her face.

"Are you offering?" She asks, looking somewhat shifty. What the hell, Rainbow? Just accept already.

"Well, duh. I wouldn't ask if I didn't mean it."

"All right! It's a date!" Rainbow declares, causing me to pause and look at her in shock. Oh hell no...

"No it isn't," I tell her plainly. Rainbow just laughs.

"Figure of speech, Seth. Don't take it seriously. Like I'd date you anyway." she explains, somehow managing to toss a sarcastic insult in there too. Even despite that, I feel relieved. That would just get really awkward, really fast if she'd been serious. "This is going to be great though!"

"Why? We're just going to the city..."

"Why? Because the Wonderbolts are having a show there that I think we should go see. It'll be totally awesome, I swear. Oh, and there's a Wonderbolts gift shop there that I have to go to every time I'm in Canterlot." Rainbow's momentum just doesn't seem to be stopping. "We should go there together. They sell some awesome stuff that you really..."

Oh god, what have I started?

---

So I had planned for him to be in Canterlot this chapter. That didn't happen. I keep telling my readers that this story writes itself, but it's weird when you're writing, you know it's happening, but you can't really control it. It's fucking surreal, I tell you.

But, I did get what I wanted out of the way. Rainbow, he, and Vinyl are going to Canterlot, and it's going to be great. I have a lot planned for it. Stay tuned for a lot more character introductions.

Suddenly, I can't breathe. I wake with a start, jerking up in bed, gasping in lungfuls of air. I hear the sound of somepony laughing. Judging by how raucous it is, it can only be...

"Rainbow, what the fuck did you do?" I demand, and then I realize she's in my room. "And why are you in my room again?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully. I had to ruin it," Rainbow explained after she'd finishing laughing at my reaction. "I just quietly, stealthily, pinched your nose."

"You bitch, I'll get you for that. Just you wait," I retort, already devising several ways in which I could prank her back. Seriously, pinching someone's nose while they sleep...what a juvenile prank. Then again, I don't know what I expected, seeing as she's the one who suggested that dumping a bucket of water on somepony's head was a decent prank. "Now, tell me why you're in my room."

"Uh, because we're leaving? Would you rather I left you behind, sleepyhead?" Rainbow shoots back, tugging at my arm.

"It's morning already? That went by way too fast," I groan, looking out the window to see that the sun is indeed rising. I shake Rainbow's hooves off my arm and get up...only to realize that I'm only wearing my boxers. Rainbow apparently notices as well, much to my horror.

"So that's what you look like without all those..." Rainbow begins, but then I shut her up by tossing my pillow at her face, even as the heat rises in my own face.

"Get the fuck out so I can get dressed!" I scream, mortified. How could I have fucking forgotten...thank god these boxers don't have that hole in the crotch. Thank god.

"All right, all right, I'm going, sheesh," Rainbow placates me, stepping out of the room. "Are all humans so touchy about their bodies?"

"Um, yeah, because humans don't parade around naked like you ponies do!" I snap at her from behind a closed door, pulling on my winter outfit again. The rest of my clothes are packed in a set of saddlebags, courtesy of Vinyl. I'll be carrying those around until I reach the hotel or wherever the hell we're going to be staying while in Canterlot. Vinyl never elaborated on that.

"Why not? It's the best! Feeling that wind running through your fur while you fly...no feeling can compare!" Rainbow exults. God, I can't really fault her for being ignorant, but this is getting awkward.

"Because...no, you know what? I don't want to talk about this," I say bitterly. Grabbing the saddlebags as well as my rifle, I open the door and join Rainbow out in the hall. She is wearing a set of saddlebags as well, though what's in them is anyone's guess.

"You're such a prude, Seth. You're like Rarity," Rainbow teases me. Now that we're together, we descend the stairs to find that Vinyl has already made breakfast, if the smell from the kitchen is anything to go by. And sweet Jesus, it smells like eggs.

"Excuse me for clinging to my race's sense of propriety," I retort, the two of us walking into the kitchen. The table is already set an everything, with the plates set out and the food divided between the three of us.

"I thought you didn't like your race?" Rainbow points out smugly.

"Semantics!"

"Good morning. Seems like you two are having fun," Vinyl comments, placing the pan she was washing back in the cupboard.

"Morning Vinyl. Oh, you made eggs! Awesome!" Rainbow replies, and then she promptly plonks her ass down in one of the seats, ravenously tearing into the food. Vinyl chuckles at her enthusiasm.

"Try not to eat it to fast, or you'll choke," she warns her friend. I join Rainbow at the table as well, the smell from the food making my mouth water.

Once we're all sitting down and eating, I decide that now's a good time to get some information. "So what exactly is the plan for today? Besides the obvious, of course."

"Who knows? I think we should just..." Rainbow takes a moment to lift her wings. "...wing it. Heh, get it?"

"Ha ha," is my unamused response. That pun is terrible. "No seriously. I don't like the idea of going into that city blind."

"Yeah okay. I guess I can come up with something," Vinyl says. So...she didn't actually have an itinerary or anything? I should have known. "Yeah, I got it. So here's the plan."

Vinyl pulls something out of her saddlebags, and slaps them on the table. Looking closely, I discern three blue tickets with the image of a locomotive engine on it. Okay, so we're going by train...and I don't think I've ever been on a train in my life. Not even the damn MARTA.

"So after breakfast, we're heading to Canterlot by train, and then once we get there, I gotta see Erratic and get things settled," Vinyl begins, her expression letting me know she's making this up on the spot. "Then...I guess we do whatever until it's time for my show."

"Where are you going to keep your stuff until the show? More importantly, what about sleeping arrangements? I assume this is going to be an overnight thing," I point out. Vinyl blinks. Did she really not even think about this?

"Um...I think we can find a cheap hotel or something," Vinyl trails off.

"Uh-huh. A cheap hotel. In the capital city of Equestria. Cute," is my overly sarcastic response.

"It can't be that bad," Rainbow rejoins, shrugging. "We have tons of choices. I mean, I'd like to think I have some pull with the princesses, because of the whole Nightmare Moon and Discord thing. We could always ask them for lodging."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were a part of that," Vinyl gasps. "It would be sweet if we could get a royal suite."

"I don't know about that, but it's worth a shot, right?" Rainbow says optimistically. Yeah, that aside, I heard something worth mentioning.

"Hold up, Discord? What do you have to do with that reality shifting mother fucker?" I ask. The way she's speaking, it sounds like she's met Discord. Which I'd really like to know about.

"Oh, you haven't heard? Rainbow and her friends saved Equestria from Discord about a month or two ago," Vinyl informs me as if it's no big deal. My hand hits the table in shock and disbelief.

"What? I thought he was sealed over a thousand years ago?" I exclaim. "How could that have happened a few months ago?"

"It's a long story. I'm not too proud of it either. I'll tell you on the way there, if you're interested," Rainbow admits.

"Yeah, I do want to hear this," I affirm. I mean, Rainbow here not bragging about something's she's done? Rather out of character for her. "That aside, let's not do a royal suite. If we can't pay for it ourselves, I don't want to do it."

"Not this again," Vinyl groans, facehoofing. I shoot her a glare in response. "The princess actuallyoffered you a royal suite already, but you're too stubborn to take it."

"Stubborn? Fuck you, I told you why I turned that down. The same thing goes here!" I snap back at her. Rainbow looks between us, confused.

"The princess offered you a suite? When did this happen?" Rainbow questions cluelessly.

"Just three or so days ago," Vinyl relates. "This guy gets a letter from the princess, asking him to come visit her. He didn't even reply. He tried to burn the letter!"

"What? You didn't take that offer? Why not? I'd give up almost anything for a free stay at the castle!" Rainbow demands. All of this gets me frustrated.

"Shut up about the damn letter! I don't have to explain myself to any of you. The point is, I'm not going to rely on the goodwill of royalty. Find someplace else for us to stay," I yell at them. Rainbow looks like she's going to protest, but she stops and takes a breath.

"So...we'll try for someplace else. Vinyl, if you and I pool our bits, we can find a cheap hotel, like you said earlier," Rainbow finally says. "Sound good?"

"Yeah, all right," Vinyl sighs. Rainbow looks at me next.

"Sure, whatever," I respond listlessly. Rainbow's eyes linger on me a bit longer, and then she turns back to Vinyl.

"Looks like we got a plan! Just go there, get a hotel, and see this Erratic guy. Then whatever!" Rainbow summarizes for us.

"I think we should see Erratic first. That way we'll know how long we're staying in town," Vinyl suggests sensibly. Rainbow pauses, and then nods in agreement.

"So when exactly does this train leave?" I interject. Vinyl starts, and then looks at the tickets.

"In about half an hour. We should probably get moving," she reveals. Rainbow looks down at her food which she hasn't been touching as much since we had been having a conversation. Then she lunges at the table, slurping down the food as fast as possible. I turn away in disgust, but that doesn't stop me from hearing her.

"Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this!" Rainbow says when she finally finishes her breakfast. She gets up from the seat and is about to move, but Vinyl shoves a set of napkins in her face. "What are these for?"

"Your face," Vinyl points out, as there's bits of egg on Rainbow's muzzle. I can't help but chuckle a bit at her phrasing, and at Rainbow's indignant expression.

---

The train station is surprisingly rather empty. I suppose it's because it's the middle of the week and everypony is working. Hell, I haven't lived here long enough to know where the fuck all the ponies are during the week.

Of course, even though I say that, there's still enough ponies here to piss me off. I hate crowds. I always have. Thankfully we already have our tickets, so all we have to do is get on the train and go.

The station is also nothing like I expected. I've never been to a train station, but I always thought the trains would be stored in someplace safe from the elements, since having to perform maintenance on a train every damn day to keep it from accumulating rust must be a pain in the ass. Not here though. The train station is literally just a tiny building with a sign hanging from it telling you you're at the Ponyville train station. Gee, because I couldn't tell by the giant ass train idling next to it.

As for the train itself...the color scheme makes me want to puke. It's bright fucking pink. I mean really? Doesn't it cost a lot more to repaint the metal used to make the train? Or maybe everything in this world is brightly colored and ridiculous.

"Miss Scratch? Your compartment is ready," says an official looking stallion with a mustache. By official, I mean the most hilarious looking thing ever. A pony with a mustache. How can you even have facial hair if you're already covered in fur? I just...I don't even. "If you'll allow me to assist you with your luggage?"

"Thanks a lot, dude," Vinyl replies to the pony gratefully. "Rainbow, you and Seth go on and get settled inside. I gotta help this guy with the cart."

"You got it! Come on, Seth!" Rainbow exclaims. I follow her into the train compartment, which is smaller on the inside than I expected, and also completely empty of any ponies except for the two of us. We take out seats in the plush chairs set up along the edges of the compartment, though for some reason, Rainbow decides to sit right next to me instead of giving me some space. "I'm so excited! I heard the Wonderbolts are going to try a new trick today! I bought my tickets in advance, because there's no way I'm showing up to a sold out theater. That was totally not cool...and..."

Rainbow trails off when she notices how uninterested I look in what she's saying. She sighs. "But...I guess this isn't the time. Instead..." Rainbow admits, and then she looks directly at me. "So when are you going to tell me why you won't accept even the simplest of favors?"

"Really? You're going to bring this up now?" I demand incredulously. Haven't I told you enough? We've been friends for four days. That's nowhere near enough time for me to trust you as much as I did Amaryllis. She was the only other person I told about Janna.

"It's as good a time as any, right? So...when?" And Rainbow is as obstinate as ever. Whatever, I'll just stall her a bit until Vinyl gets here. Then she'll shut up.

"Never."

"Wha...oh come on, you gotta tell me sometime, right?" Rainbow cajoles me, but it's not working at all.

"You say that like I'm obligated to tell you anything. Fuck you," I snap at her.

"Well, I guess you're right, but I want to help," Rainbow attempts to pull some puppy dog eyes with me as well, but it doesn't work even half as well as it does for Apple Bloom. I scoff and look away from her. "Darn it! You're so stubborn!"

"Like you're one to talk," I retort. Don't tell me how you kept refusing to move unless I told you something previously. I'm not letting her get away with that again.

"Right there...and we're good," Vinyl helps the pony from before lever the cart into the back of the compartment, which keeps Rainbow from asking me any more personal questions. "Thanks for the help."

"It is no trouble, ma'am. Have a nice trip now," the stallion says with a bow...which looks awkward because he's a damn pony. He then leaves the train, probably to carry out other duties. "All aboard!"

Like performing the most stereotypical train job ever. Go figure. Anyway, Vinyl sits on my other side, because sitting on the other side of the train from me is obviously too hard for them.

A few moments later, the doors to the compartment shut and the train whistle sounds. The train sets off from the station, and it's not long before Ponyville disappears into the distance. It's an odd feeling, knowing that I'm leaving the only place I've ever known since getting zapped into the future by a homicidal necromancer king pony who then wiped out my entire race. Hah, just writing that sentence makes me laugh at the utter absurdity of it all.

"So Rainbow...tell me about Discord," I say, breaking the silence. Rainbow nods, looking a bit sheepish.

"It's a long story, but we do have maybe two or three hours before we get there. I suppose it started when Princess Celestia..."

---

Rainbow proceeds to tell me one of the most ridiculous tales I've ever heard. Like, when she finishes, I honestly thought she'd been fucking with me. But, both her and Vinyl insist that it's true, and the princesses would back them up.

So apparently there's six magical objects called the Elements of Harmony, which Rainbow used along with Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack to seal Discord back up after he'd apparently gotten free a few months ago.

Let's assume I believe any of this. This would explain why Rainbow kept referring to herself as the Element of Loyalty, since each piece of the Elements of Harmony embodies a "different aspect of friendship." Which sounds so fucking stupid I can't even take it. I don't see how Magic fits into that group at all, unless they're trying to sell the idea that friendship is magic. Which is also dumb as fuck.

"So let me get this straight: this Element of Loyalty makes it so you can only be loyal?" I ask once my initial shock wears off. Because if this hunch is true, then Rainbow is only staying by me because of a dumb gem or whatever.

Rainbow shakes her head vigorously. "Nah, you got it all wrong. I'm not loyal because I'm the Element of Loyalty, I'm the Element of Loyalty because I'm loyal," she corrects me.

"Come again?"

"Think about it this way. The Elements of Harmony don't make their bearers act like their respective aspect. Like, bearing the Element of Magic doesn't make Twilight a magical prodigy," Vinyl cuts in.

"Then what?"

"I'm not finished. The Elements choose their bearers based upon the current living pony who best represents their aspects. Applejack bears the Element of Honesty because she already had that aspect within her," Vinyl completes.

"Hah, too much at times. Applejack is honest to a fault," Rainbow jokes. "She couldn't lie even if she tried. The whole Discord incident proved that."

"I think I get it...but this still seems a little too convenient. I'm supposed to just believe that you all are the pinnacles of all things friendship just because these magical artifacts say so?" I say skeptically. Vinyl sighs.

"No, Seth. The Elements don't work that way. Let me put it this way. They pick the ponies in which their aspects are the most prominent. Rainbow and her friends are good ponies. Not perfect, but good, and that's why the Elements chose them," Vinyl reiterated.

"Listen to you. You'd almost think you were an Element yourself," Rainbow remarked, grinning at her friend. Vinyl stuck her tongue out.

"With how you brag about it, how can I not be an expert?" Vinyl teases right back.

So I'm friends with that equates to a piece of Captain fucking Planet. With your friendship combined, we are the Elements of Harmony! I can't withhold a snicker.

"What's so funny?" Rainbow asks curiously.

"Nothing. Just something that would make sense to a human," I explain. So this makes Twilight essentially Heart. Hah, that's funny as hell. "So how much longer, do you think?"

"Shouldn't be too much longer," Vinyl assures me. "Maybe another half hour?"

"Well, then I'm taking a nap. Don't fucking wake me till I get there," I warn the both of them. Once I see them nod in acknowledgment, I adjust my position until I'm comfortable, and then I shut my eyes.

---

Turns out I don't have to murder any of them, since I'm woken up by the train screeching to a halt at theCanterlot station. This is it. I'm in the capitol city of Equestria. This is the land I'm living in for the rest of my life, so I should probably care somewhat.

Whoa, I can already tell this place is magnificent, just from I see outside the window. The station is so much fancier compared to Ponyville's. It's a light blue building that completely encompasses the train platform. Windows line the walls, so I can see inside to the inner offices and waiting areas for the trains that use this line. There's a great deal of ponies on the platform, most of which are wearing fancy looking clothes. That strikes me as odd, since barely anypony in Ponyville wears clothes except for special occasions, really.

"Fancy," I remark, letting Rainbow and Vinyl know that I'm awake.

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet. This city is so cool!" Rainbow comments. She hops off of her seat, landing on four hooves. Vinyl stands as well. The doors to the compartment open, revealing a group of ponies that are looking to get inside. Of course, once they see us, they back off to give us space, though some of them look annoyed.

"Give me a hand with the cart, would you, Seth?" Vinyl asks, waving me over with a hoof. Well, I am getting paid for all of this, so I might as well get started.

Together, the three of us push the cart out of the train, finally allowing the overdressed ponies around us to step onto the train.

Suddenly a thought strikes me. "Vinyl, I am not lugging this thing all around the city. Why don't you go find Erratic, and Rainbow and I will take the cart and go find a hotel?" I suggest. Vinyl pauses, thinking about my idea.

"That's actually a good idea. But how will we know where to meet?" Vinyl inquires. Shit, I did not think about that. Ponies don't have cell phones.

"I'll take care of that. Once we find a place, I'll fly over to the bar," Rainbow affirms. Well, thank you Rainbow, because now I won't have to admit my oversight and look like a dumb fuck.

"All right, sounds good. I'll go on ahead then," Vinyl says, nodding. "See ya both in a bit."

Vinyl moves ahead of us and disappears into the crowd, leaving Rainbow and I to push the cart ourselves. I look at Rainbow. "I sure hope you know where we're going."

"Well, I've never actually stayed overnight in Canterlot," Rainbow admits, and I can't help but facepalm. So it was a great idea, but my tour guide is useless.

"Then I guess we're wandering. Come on, help me push this shit through the station," I say in a resigned fashion. This isn't going to be fun.

One thing I do notice about this place is the presence of the Royal Guard. There's two of them standing on either side of the entrance to the train station. They're different from the Ponyville town guard in that they're dressed in that same golden armor I saw Celestia's guards wearing. They aren't giving any other pony a second glance, but when they spot me, their composure breaks and they look at me in awe.

And so does the rest of the population. All the ponies that see me turn their heads to follow me, their mouths open. Right...I forgot. The ponies in Ponyville are more or less used to my existence. And then there's these ponies that have never seen a human before. It's already starting to piss me off.

"Don't they have anything better to look at?" I grunt to Rainbow. I'm glad she's here, or I might be snapping at the crowd again like I did in Ponyville.

"Cut 'em some slack. You are the first human in three thousand years," Rainbow reminds me.

"A fact I am reminded of every time I see a damn pony," I growl quietly.

Moving through the station, we finally enter the Canterlot streets. While we're pushing, I take a look around to try and get a sense of my surroundings.

There's a lot of towering ivory buildings with purple tops and golden spires. I can also see decorative fountains and rivers and waterfalls throughout the place. This place reminds me ever so slightly of Minas Tirith in the way it's interior is designed. Literally, the only differences are the rounded edges of the buildings and the fact that there's actually some color. Oh, and also there's ponies.

Most of the ponies around us I can get a clear look at, since most of them are looking at me. They're mostly unicorns, and every single one of them is dressed in super fancy clothes. I even think I saw a pony with a monocle walk by. Well isn't that just the textbook fucking definition of classy. I bet they all think they're better than everypony else around them. I know how the upper class thinks.

"Hey, that says hotel!" Rainbow cries out, pointing a hoof off to the side of the street. I look over and sure enough, there's a sign posted to the wall of a building that states it as such. That was a lot easier than I expected. Then again, it makes sense you'd have a hotel near a train station, since you'll have tourists coming in on a daily basis.

"Now let's just hope it's affordable," I say grimly. We push the cart up to an open area just left of the entrance, so we don't block the ponies going in. They're doing a good job of that all on their own, since they're looking at me. "You go inside and check the pricing. I'll stay out here and guard the cart."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll be right back! Don't get lost!" Rainbow acknowledges, and then she maneuvers her way through the crowd of ponies and into the hotel.

So I'm on my own in a crazy city filled with ponies that enjoy staring. I am beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable by all the attention I'm gathering. But there's not really much I can do about it except ignore...

"Excuse me, pardon the interruption, but I can't help but notice your...exotic appearance." So much for ignoring. There's a pony talking to me.

"And?" I say, transfixing the intruding pony with a stare. This pony is actually a stallion. Finally, I can talk to somepony who's not female. Big Mac doesn't count, since he never talks anyway.

"If I offended, I apologize. I'm just curious, you see. I've never seen a being quite like you before," the white unicorn says graciously, bowing his head in respect. Okay...I don't know how he is personally, but I like the respect he's showing me.

Maybe I should describe him. So yeah, his coat is white, and his mane is a light bluish. He's also got this tiny groomed mustache on his muzzle, which I still think looks ridiculous on a pony. He's dressed in a black business suit, and there's a monocle on his right eye. The way he holds himself bespeaks of a strict and disciplined lifestyle, yet his expression is oddly pleasant in contrast.

"You haven't? Isn't there some book series or another about us?" I reply, somewhat surprised. I was under the impression that mostly everypony will have read those books. Especially in Canterlot, where the literacy rate is probably much higher.

"If there is, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of reading them. If you don't mind, could you tell me which race you belong to?" the unicorn asks curiously.

"I'm human. I'm Seth Rogers," I tell him shortly. I like that he's being so respectful, but I don't really feel like discussing my race.

"Human? Good gracious me, you're part of the race that predates us ponies? I was unaware that any of you still existed. This is marvelous," the unicorn exclaims, adjusting his monocle so that he can see me clearly. "Oh, do forgive my manners. I am Fancy Pants. It is an absolute joy to meet you, good sir."

I have to try extremely hard not to laugh at his name. He's not even wearing pants, just that suit top. What a pretentious and ridiculous name! But, as long as he keeps acting this polite, I'll talk to him a bit longer.

"Well, you're not wrong. I am the only one left of my kind, and I got here though magical means," I qualify, accepting the hoof that he's offering me to shake.

"That's a shame. Equestria is diminished by your absence," Fancy Pants says reverently, dipping his head once more. I have to hand it to this guy, he certainly has a way with words. "Say, would you be willing to attend a garden party that I'm holding tonight?"

What? Did this random pony that I met a few seconds ago invite me to something? Why would he...oh. So he really has been covering up that sleazy nature of his with politeness.

"What, so you can show me off to your upper class friends?" I snap bitterly. Fancy Pants looks horrified by my words.

"Good heavens, no. What kind of pony do you take me for?" He protests.

"I barely know you, but I know how the upper class works. I bet it would look really good for you if you had a human at a party you're hosting," I point out cynically.

Fancy Pants looks at me with a neutral expression for a moment before he replies. "Well, I can't say you're wrong. Being a part of the 'upper class,' as you put it, does come with endless formalities and politics, and certainly there are some ponies would would use you in such a fashion, but I assure you, my invitation came purely from my personal desire to speak with you further."

"We're speaking right now, aren't we?" I respect him for admitting that the upper class is as I suspect, but he has yet to convince me that he's not out to do the same.

Fancy Pants gives me a rueful smile. "Yes, but alas, my schedule is booked for the rest of today. Taking aside time to speak with you has eaten up my available free time."

"It's barely been a few minutes. How can your day be that packed?" I demand.

"Ah, but it is true. In a few minutes, I have a meeting with several prominent merchant ponies with whom I have standing business contracts. Afterwards, I must attend a party held by the prince, as I was specifically invited. Then, before the garden party tonight, I have to run several errands for an acquaintance of mine," Fancy Pants explains.

"...Okay, your day is that packed," I admit, earning a slight chuckle from him. Though I wonder who this "prince" is, since I was under the impression that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were the country's rulers. "I doubt I'll show up at this party of yours, though. I'm actually here on business."

"Ah, a shame. However, if by chance you do find yourself available," Fancy Pants says, nodding his head amiably. He then points up the street with his hoof. "You'll find my penthouse if you follow this road up to the top, near the castle. Any guard should be able to direct you from there."

"I'll keep that in mind," I say uncaringly. I have no intention of going to this guy's party. I like his respect, but I don't trust his motives.

"That's all I can ask. Now then, it was a pleasure, but I must be on my way," Fancy Pants says, bowing slightly again.

"All right, see ya," I reply. With a smile, Fancy Pants turns around and rejoins the crowd of ponies. I soon lose sight of him.

Curiously enough, several of the ponies around me that have been staring at me are looking at me differently, almost with jealousy mixed with respect. Were they jealous of the fact I was talking with this guy? How important is he, exactly?

"Okay, the price actually isn't that bad," Rainbow says. I turn, noticing her emerging from the hotel building. "Easily affordable."

"That's good. Then I guess I'll wait here some more while you go find Vinyl," I respond, sighing. This waiting is getting old. I really want to explore some more. The populace aside, the architecture of this place is stunning, making me want to see more.

"Don't worry, it won't take that long. I am the fastest flyer in Equestria, after all," Rainbow brags.

"Also the most boastful. Get going, already, won't you?" I scoff. Rainbow sticks her tongue out at me, but she does fly away, leaving me alone once more.

Everything is pretty boring for several minutes, but that changes when somepony else approaches me. I groan and I'm about to tell whoever it is to fuck off, but then I notice with shock that the new arrival is a Royal Guard.

"Excuse me, are you the human, Seth Rogers?" the guard asks me formally, his expression neutral.

"Yeah. What does the Royal Guard want with me?" I reply hesitantly. Pissing off the law enforcement never ends well.

"I'm here to deliver a message. Are you prepared to receive it?" The guard waits until he sees me nod before continuing. "Very well. Princess Celestia requests your presence at the castle at the earliest convenience. That is all."

Did I just get a royal summons? What the fuck does the royalty want with me now? "Thank you," I say to the guard tersely, who nods and departs, his business concluded.

I don't know how Celestia found out I was in Canterlot so soon. If this is the kind of speed I can expect from her, this just makes me want to stay out of her way more. Hell, she probably already knows about the whole Scorpios incident.

A few minutes later, Rainbow returns with Vinyl, the both of them talking about something or another. When they reach me, I notice that Vinyl is grinning widely. "Seth, you won't believe this. We got booked for three nights! That's six hundred bits in all!"

"Holy shit, that's a lot of money," I comment. Looks like I'll be in Canterlot for a while. "So when's the first performance?"

"Not tonight, since Erratic's got a band called 'Burning Medley' playing tonight. It'll be for the next three days. So we'll be booking this hotel for four nights total," Vinyl answers.

"This means we get all of today to mess around! How cool is that?" Rainbow says excitedly. "Seth, I gotta show you the Wonderbolts Gift Shop."

"That's right, but first, we need to check in. Help me get this cart inside," Vinyl reminds her.

From there, it's just a simple matter of pushing the cart through the crowd of ponies and into the hotel, where the hotel attendants took over that job for us, since apparently catering to our needs is a part of the service.

"All right, fork over some bits, Vinyl. I'll go pay for it," Rainbow says. Vinyl nods and passes a sack of jangling bits over to the pegasus, who takes it over to the desk. She returns with a key for our new hotel room. "I think we're on the third floor."

"Lovely, we have to climb stairs to reach our room. That's going to get real old," I comment. Since I'm probably going to be tired as fuck after every performance, I'm not relishing climbing two flights of stairs every night.

"Nothing for it, I guess. Do you want to go and check the room first, or go exploring?" Vinyl asks, looking between Rainbow and I.

"Are you kidding? Let's go!" Rainbow exclaims.

"Yeah, I agree. The room will still be here when we get back," I say. Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that I apparently have to go to the castle to see the princess.

"Cool. In that case, I'mma check out some of the retro shops. See if they got any records I haven't bought yet," Vinyl decides. "What about the rest of you?"

"Seth and I are going to go see the Wonderbolts gift shop!" Rainbow claims, looking at me with a smile.

"Yeah, actually I need to go to the castle," I respond. That gets the two of them to look at me oddly.

"Really? What for?" Rainbow asks.

"Apparently Celestia already knows I'm here and wants to see me," I explain. "She sent a royal guard to tell me as much."

"In that case, yeah, you'd better get going. It's not polite to keep the Princess waiting," Vinyl warns me. Rainbow on the other hand, pouts at the fact that I can't go to the gift shop with her just yet.

"Ugh, then what am I gonna do? The flight show isn't until tomorrow," Rainbow laments. "How long is this going to take, Seth?"

"Hell if I fucking know. Just like, fly around or something," I reply, not really caring. You've lived most of your life without me around, so one night more shouldn't be that big of a deal.

"Well, I'm heading out. I'll see you two back here tonight," Vinyl tells us both, and then with a wave, she leaves the hotel.

"Good luck, I guess?" Rainbow says to me after Vinyl leaves. I shrug.

"I doubt it'll be anything more than just 'oh, how's it going' and other such bullshit," I conjecture. "Honestly I'd rather not go."

"She summoned you, dude. You have to go," Rainbow admonishes me.

"Shut up, I know that," I grunt. "I'm going right now. I guess I'll see you tonight or whatever."

With that, Rainbow and I part ways, leaving me once again alone in the city.

---

Author's Note:

Finally we have arrived in Canterlot. I managed to get this one done a lot faster than I thought, because I got stuck in a place with no internet for hours, so instant chapter.

I'm rather shaky on the quality of this chapter, but I do consider this whole thing a rough draft, so I guess it's no big deal. Though any constructive criticism you could give me would be very welcome.

Now then, according to Fancy Pants, if I follow this road, it'll take me straight to the castle. With that in mind, I travel the streets, ignoring the stares that the passerby give me.

Eventually, I can see the castle looming above the rest of the town. Now that I'm this close, I can see the supports that are holding it to the mountainside, but it still seems physically impossible. Though I suppose the answer has something to do with magic, since the answer is always magic to everything in this world.

The road spirals around the city, taking me past thousands of ponies and different buildings of all kinds, from nightclubs to clothing shops, to corporate buildings. Unlike Ponyville, this is a real city, like Atlanta or New York. This place is so large and magnificent. I'm glad I came here, if only for the sightseeing. The ponies I could do without.

The path takes me underneath the castle itself, along the edge of the cliff that the city is built upon. This area is really soothing, since it's less populated than the rest of the city. But what really adds to that feeling is the waterfall that cascades from the upper cliff where the castle is and falls down the cliff just to my left.

Unfortunately, I soon pass out of that area and into the more elite sector I assume, as there are fucking mansions on either side of the path as I get closer and closer to the castle.

Finally, I reach two golden gates just in front of the massive castle that houses the royalty. There are two guards on either side, each standing stalwart, their eyes straight ahead. The path continues past the gate and crosses a river by a drawbridge to the castle entrance. I note that this river is the same one that I had just passed under a few minutes prior.

The guards' eyes snap to me the moment I pass within their field of vision. They don't take threatening stances, so I assume they knew I was coming beforehand. When I reach the gate, I push upon it, but it doesn't budge. I guess I have to talk to them first.

"I'm here to see the princess," I say, somewhat awkwardly. One of the guards looks at the other, who nods.

"Come with me," the second guard orders in a commanding voice. The golden gates open without a sound, surprisingly. I guess they've been maintained well.

The guard leads me through the gates and towards the castle itself. He doesn't say anything else, which is fine by me. I don't really want to talk to him either.

My feet thud against the drawbridge as I look up at the castle above me in awe. It looked large from Ponyville, but that's nothing compared to what I'm seeing now. This place is massive. What could you possibly use so much space for? Or is this place the living area of the royalty, and they're just incredibly vain?

An official looking pony mare comes out of the castle gate to meet us, wearing a fancy silver dress that contrasts with her reddish coat. She's wearing a set of half moon spectacles, though I bet they're for reading, as she's looking at me over them.

"Greetings, human. My name is Elegant Style, and I will serve as your guide during the duration of your stay in the castle," the mare introduces herself in an overly formal fashion, bowing slightly. It doesn't fool me. I can tell by how stiff the bow is as well as the strange way she looks at me that she doesn't really like me. Not that it really matters. I'm here to see Celestia, not impress the staff. After all, she's probably not all that important. I watch as Elegant looks at the guard next to me. "Thank you for your service. You are dismissed."

The guard salutes smartly, and then he proceeds to canter back towards the gate. Now it's just her and me. "I'm guessing you're here to take me to Celestia," I prompt her, though I don't bother to talk in that uptight manner that she is.

"Not quite. The princess," Elegant emphasizes Celestia's title in a peculiar manner, staring at me severely. "is currently conducting daily court. I will be escorting you to a waiting area, and then I will inform her of your arrival."

"Are you kidding me? She invited me here, and then she's going to keep me waiting?" I demand incredulously. Also, I think this mare also tried to scold me on not using Celestia's title without actually saying so. Wow, I really lucked out with this guide. She's a total bitch.

"It is only a matter of due course. The princess deals with matters in the order of their importance. Surely you understand," Elegant replies, a smug smile crossing her face at the insult hidden within her words. I open my mouth to give this bitch a piece of my mind, but befor eI can, she turns the other direction and begins walking towards the castle. "If you'll come with me, I'll show you inside."

"Sure, whatever," I grumble, inwardly seething at this treatment. I want to call her out on her shit, but I don't doubt this pony is important enough to get me arrested if I cause a scene. I'll make sure Celestia knows what a bitch she sent to get me. I better not be kept waiting too long.

When we pass through the gate, we enter into a grand entrance hall, with marble floors gleaming in the light that shone from electric lamps that lined the walls. A lush red carpet stretches out before us, my feet sinking into it at least half an inch. Ahead of us is a massive staircase that leads upwards halfway up the wall, before splitting to the left and right. Two silken tapestries hung from the wall at the platform just before the stairway splits. One of them is golden and emblazoned with imagery of the sun, while the other is a dark blue with images of the moon scattered across its surface.

Instead of taking me up the stairs, Elegant leads me to the left side of the chamber, through a hallway.

"Security's pretty tight, huh," I remark, noticing the scores of royal guards lining the walls at regular intervals. I also notice that they're carrying weapons, surprisingly enough. These are the first weapons I've seen since getting here. All of these guards are unicorns, colored white or gray, and they're carrying spears or swords.

"But of course! This is the very pinnacle of Equestrian civilization, and it stands to reason that we'd want to protect it with all of our might," Elegant answers with a hint of pride in her voice.

"I'm curious. Why are they all unicorns?" I ask. Elegant responds readily, happy to educate me or whatever.

"Security and defense of the castle falls to the Canterlot Royal Unicorn First Regiment, which you are seeing before you. Enforcing the law in the other major cities in Equestria falls to the Earth Pony Military Branch," Elegant explains. "First" Regiment? Does that mean there's more than one? Right, despite how peaceful everything seems to be in Equestria, I don't doubt that this country has its own army. And if the Canterlot elite forces are all unicorns...let's just say I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of all that magical firepower.

"And the pegasi?" I prompt.

"The Canterlot Royal Pegasus Corps are Canterlot's eyes and ears, extensions of the princesses' will," Elegant answers. Hmm..so they're like a pony equivalent of our air force. Though I doubt they have any kind of aerial bombardment strategies. They're not like the princesses, who can use both magic and fly. That seems a little broken to me, but that's probably why they're still in power.

"Interesting..." I say, just to let her know that I heard her. I wonder if I can find a guard that'll tell me more. I never enjoyed history in college, but I did enjoy learning about the military composition of each of the countries. Of course, and probably because I liked that, my professors never focused on the military aspect of history. Go figure.

"Quite. Now then, here we are," Elegant says, stopping after we enter a new room. This looks like a receiving room. There's several fancy couches and chairs lining the walls of the room, as well as a few tables, upon which bouquets of flowers rest in glass vases. Another hallway across the room leads to the other areas of the castle, and there is also another way out. This one seems to lead into a garden of sorts. I can smell a distinctly floral fragrance emanating from that door. Part of me wants to check it out. "If you'll wait here patiently, I will inform the princess of your arrival."

"Got it," I respond simply. She soon leaves me on my own, as she heads back the way we came. Good, now that she's gone, maybe I can take a look around. Like that garden. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to go in there, but if I get caught, I'll claim ignorance. And if that doesn't work, Celestia will bail me out.

Walking through the door to the garden, my senses are assaulted by a overwhelming amount of colors, sounds, and scents. The path I'm walking in leads me through a metal archway, which is decorated with a vine of roses and tulips.

On either side of me as I walk are arranged flower beds in which flowers of every kind are planted. I don't know very many flower names, so all I can really say is that there's blues, yellows, pinks, whites, and other colors. The amount of beauty in the garden is striking.

Two trees rise on either side as well. There's bird nests in the branches, some of which are currently occupied by blue jays and cardinals. I even see a squirrel run up the trunk, an acorn in its mouth.

Then it hits me. How the fuck are these flowers blooming anyway, considering its the middle of winter? That shouldn't be possible. But, there's no one for me to ask about that, so I'll file it away in my mind for later use.

Continuing on, I pass under another metal archway into a clearing with a fountain in the center, as well as other statues situated in the four corners of the area. Stone benches are arranged in a square fashion as well, their ends pointing to the statues in the corner.

One statue in particular stands out to me, at the far end of the clearing. I can't make out what it is from here, so I approach it to get a closer look. It depicts the weirdest looking monster I've ever seen in my life. It is standing on a Greek style pillar, a reptilian tail wrapped around it. Its body is a little like a snake, but it's head is that of a dragon with mismatched ears and a fucking beard, of all things. Its two arms are almost mismatched, as one is like an eagle's talon, while the other is like a cat's paw. Its legs are even more fucked up, one being a hoof and the other a claw.

"What the fuck is this?" I mutter aloud. How can this be considered art? It's like someone got super high one day and decided, "I'm gonna make a monster!" Goddamn, this is ugly.

"That's Discord, the Embodiment of Chaos," a female voice responds, making me jump. I swear to god, if that's Elegant, I'm gonna...

It's not Elegant. Turning around, I see a rather tall pony approaching me. She looks like she came from deeper in the garden. Fuck, she's about as tall as I am, if you count that horn of hers. I guess she's a unicorn.

And oh my god, so much pink. Her coat is a light pink, and to my shock, she also has wings. Both a horn and wings? She's just like Celestia and Luna. What's up with that? Anyhow, moving past that odd revelation, her mane, which is short on one side of her head and cascades all the way down past her shoulders on the other, is actually three different color, arranged in three individual stripes: violet, hot pink, and cream. Lastly, her cutie mark is a weird crystalline heart thing.

"Not the most orderly of creatures, is he?" the mare remarks with an amused smile. She trots up to my side. I give a chuckle at her words.

"You're telling me. So that's this Discord I've heard so much about, huh? He certainly lost out in the looks department, if you ask me," I agree. For all I'd heard about him, I'd expected him to look somewhat more...fearsome. But no, it looks like an artist took a potent dose of LSD and then tried to draw a dragon. The other mare finds that funny, giggling daintily at my words. Suddenly, I remember something important. "Is this actually Discord? Like, really him, or is it just a statue?"

"It's both, to be honest. This is what's left of Discord, after the Elements of Harmony took care of him," the mare replies, confirming my suspicions. So I'm essentially standing before a god. A really demented, fucked up looking god that looks like he's high, but still a god. So you're what fucked the laws of nature as I know them.

Also, I've been talking to this mare without having any idea who she is. She's probably somewhat important, seeing as she's living in the damn castle. I turn around and look at her, and our gazes meet. I don't think either of us have any idea what to say. She coughs awkwardly, and I scratch the back of my head in a similar manner.

"So...what's your name?" the mare asks tentatively, breaking the awkwardness at last.

"Wow, you're asking my name first, before my species? Surely it's a miracle," I say drily before I can stop myself. Rather than being offended, she chuckles.

"I'd rather know your name. I'd rather not ask your species, as I consider that rude of one to ask another, especially if we've just met. If you'd like to tell me, however, that's your business," she explains to me. I blink, nonplussed. What kind of...what? Why is...well, I can sort of understand, seeing as whenever somepony asked what I am, it always pissed me off.

"Whatever, I guess. My name is Seth Rogers. Who the hell are you then?" I respond, though I'm nowhere near as polite as she is.

As if waiting for that question, the mare draws herself up in an attempt to hold herself regally, though I can tell she's forcing it. "My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir Rogers," she says...and then immediately loses her composure, laughing. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. I've never really been good at formalities."

"Princess Mi what now?" I repeat dumbly, unable to pronounce her full name. That almost sounded Spanish. "What? You're a princess?!"

"That's right. But, I'd rather that not be an issue. Just call me Cadance, please," the mare answers kindly.

"I thought this was a Diarchy. You know, Sun and Moon Princesses...where the hell do you fit in?"

"My official title is Princess of Love, but I mostly handle diplomatic and trade agreements, as well as other minor administrative duties that Celestia and Luna can't be bothered with," Cadance explains for me, being oddly forthcoming for a princess. She indicates back towards the deeper portions of the garden from which she emerged. "Would you like to walk with me for a while?"

"Might as well. I'm being kept waiting anyway," I say, shrugging. Cadance smiles, and then the two of us pass under another metal archway into what's practically a wildlife preserve. Like, there's squirrels, birds, butterflies, and other small animal scurrying about. They shy away from us at first, but when they spot Cadance, they relax, continuing to go about their daily lives. You know, eating nuts and worms and shit.

"Princess of Love, huh?" I say, somewhat skeptically, causing her to look at me curiously. I mean, I hope she doesn't mean literally. Not sure how I'd feel about there being a sun princess, a moon princess, and a sex princess. Then it hits me. Duh...of course she didn't mean literally. "Is that because of your diplomatic role? Spreading 'love' among the countries and whatnot?"

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," Cadance admits with a nod of her head. "In fact, that's probably the best way of looking at it. Honestly, in a more informal sense, I just enjoy seeing the love between all living creatures flourish and grow."

"So you're a people person, then," I note drily. Cadance looks confused at that, making me realize I'd used human terminology again. "Ugh, I mean a pony who's skilled at detecting the relationships between other ponies."

"Oh. Then, I suppose I am a...'people person,' as you put it," Cadance says, quirking an eyebrow . She probably wants to know where that came from, but fuck it, I'm not explaining shit. I hate people persons. They tend to be psychologists, and those are usually stuck up windbags who think they know how people work. Idiots.

"Lovely." The two of us soon enter an clearing surrounded by immaculately trimmed hedges, through which a small stream runs. It's deep enough that I can see small fish swimming through it. I guess the royalty really spared no expense with this garden.

Speaking of royalty, I really wish this one would stop following me around. I know she's supposedly important, but as a person...well, a pony, she's utterly boring me. I just wish Celestia would get her ass out here so I can leave this conversation.

"What brings you to Canterlot?" Cadance says in an attempt to keep the conversation going. When I give her a glance, she revises, "If it's okay for you to tell me, that is."

"Why wouldn't it be? You're a princess too, aren't you?" I point out. "You should be the same rank as Celestia and Luna."

"Officially, I am, but there's no way I can put myself on the same level as them. They have thousands of years worth of experience," Cadance admits.

"So you're saying you're less important than them?" My words cause Cadance to pause, and then nod slowly. Interesting...so you're the same rank, but in name only. "Well, whatever, I don't really care about that. I'm just here because Celestia asked me to be."

"Oh? Then I assume you're a diplomat or ambassador?" Cadance guesses. That gets me to stop walking and give her an incredulous look. She stops as well, looking nervous. "Did...did I guess wrong?"

I can't help it. I burst out laughing, doubling over in my merriment. The very idea of me being a diplomat is just ludicrous...oh goddammit this is priceless. Oh I'm sorry, you have a problem with America, foreign countries? Fuck you and die. Hah, I'd get kicked out of office in less than a month, since I'd probably murder after a week's worth of politics.

"What's so funny? I thought it was a reasonable guess," Cadance looks sheepish, probably thinking that she fucked up. She didn't. She probably just made my night. I try to calm myself, but then I picture myself wearing one of those government outfits with that stupid hat, and that just makes it funnier.

"How the hell would you draw a conclusion like that? Do I look like a diplomat to you?" I chortle. Cadance shuffles her front hooves as she replies.

"I don't want to sound rude, but I've never seen your species around Equestria before, so I assumed you were here on behalf of your kind to perhaps negotiate trade agreements with Celestia," Cadance reasons. I finally calm my laughter, and then I look back at her seriously again. That's sound logic for somepony who doesn't know me, I suppose.

"If that were the case, wouldn't I be talking to you? Trade agreements are your job, you said," I remind her.

"Ordinarily yes, but in the case of a new species, responsibility falls to Princess Celestia," she explains.

"Hmm, sound logic, but you've got one thing wrong," I begin, my tone ominous. Cadance watches me curiously. "There's no new species. It's just me. I'm the only one."

"A unique race? And...hold on..." Something like understanding sparks in Cadance's eyes. She peers into me, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "I understand now! You're human! I don't know how I didn't see it before!"

"Took you long enough .You'd think a princess would have some knowledge of the past," I snort. Cadance recoils slightly at the sting in my voice, but her enthusiasm isn't dampened.

"This is exciting! It's amazing that you're alive, even after thousands of years! Did you know that most of our technology and culture is based on what we've discovered of humans? I wrote several papers in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns on your..."

"Goddammit, shut up! You sound like Twilight!" I snap, realizing seconds later that I'd just told a princess to shut up. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to take offense, closing her mouth with a snap and looking apologetic.. However, she looks at me with surprise at my name drop.

"Little Twily? You're friends with her?" Cadance asks. I raise an eyebrow. The fuck did she just call her?

"Yeah...I've been living in Ponyville for the past week or so, but I wouldn't say I'm her friend," I reveal. Cadance tilts her head to one side, but I don't let her ask what I know she wants to ask. "I'll ask you the same question."

"Of course I know her. I foalsat her until she was old enough to attend the school as well. She's a remarkable filly, a lot like me in many ways," Cadance relates. Foalsat? There has to be a human equivalent in there somewhere...oh, babysitter. Duh. So I just met Twilight's babysitter. Which means she probably has that same tendency to go over the top with things. Like she just did. Great. I can't stand Twilight when she gets like that.

"I don't trust her one bit." That gets Cadance to stop completely and look at me as if I've grown a second head. "She keeps trying to get me to talk about my kind, pretending that she's trying to be friendly. That academic nature of hers is a dead giveaway though. I want nothing to do with her."

"What...?" Cadance begins, but she stops before continuing, her eyes turning back towards where we came. I can tell what she's feeling as well, because I can feel it too. A subtle pressure falls over the air, pressing down on my skin and giving me goosebumps. I'd only felt this once before, but something like this you just can't forget.

I turn around, and sure enough, Celestia herself walks elegantly into the clearing, her mane flowing in the wind that isn't there, sunlight seeming to glow slightly from every strand. She's just a fucking pony, but every time I see her, it just takes my breath away. If she had been in my time, she'd have been a fucking show animal. That's beauty.

"About fucking time...did you really have to send some secretary bitch to get me?" is what I greet her with. Cadance looks at me in horror, having not expected such disrespect from me. "I mean it too, she was a total grade-A bitch."

"My apologies, Seth. I wish I could have come sooner, but I was in the midst of conducting Day Court," Celestia says kindly, completely letting my blatant rudeness slide past her. "I'd asked Miss Elegant to tell you as such, but it seems she lacked a certain tact."

"You're telling me. As entertaining as shooting the shit with Cadance here is, I'd much rather get on with why I'm really here. I don't appreciate being called here like a damn servant," I don't know what it is about Celestia, but I feel like I can say whatever I want to her, and she won't judge me for it. That's probably a bullshit feeling, but it's probably contributing to how loose-tongued I'm being. Next to me, Cadance hangs her head, ashamed at my conduct. I don't know why she thinks it's her problem though.

"In due time. I see you've met my dear niece," Celestia says, indicating Cadance with an ivory hoof. Niece? But you're thousands of years older than her. And doesn't that make her Luna's daughter? Heh, Princess of the Night indeed. "I hope you two have been getting along well."

"It's so amazing that there's a human left after all these years, but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it," Cadance remarks.

"She's like Twilight." My simple response earns a soft, musical laugh from Celestia, and a sheepish expression from Cadance.

"Indeed she is. Cadance, my dear, you shouldn't press him for details," Celestia scolds her niece gently, vindicating my worries. Cadance ducks her head and nods shyly. "Now then. Are you ready to go, Seth?"

"Go? Go where? What do you even want from me anyway?" I demand. Celestia just gives me a coy smile. "And you're not going to tell me shit."

"Of course not. That would ruin the surprise, after all," she teases me. "Follow me. We've quite the walk ahead of us."

"Lovely...I don't like this at all," I complain, but I'm ignored, as Celestia walks back the way she came from.

"Farewell, dear Cadance. Good luck with the negotiations this evening," Celestia calls over her shoulder.

"Goodbye, Aunt Celestia! Goodbye, Seth!" Cadance calls after us just before we leave that section of the garden.

So now I'm alone with Celestia. She didn't bring Luna with her, for whatever reason. Now to find out what the hell she wants with me.

---

Celestia takes me back through the castle, only this time she takes a different route, leading away from the entrance. Instead, we take a winding path through the ivory halls until I become hopelessly lost. She could leave me right now, and I'd probably never find my way back out. That's how big and confusing this place is. Can't they at least have color coded hallways?

I try to ask her where we're going again, but she won't tell me. She just says more shit like, "In due time," or "Be patient, Seth." It infuriates me that she doesn't seem to care about my feelings. Excuse me, I didn't want to come here in the first place.

So imagine how I feel when she takes us out the back of the castle and onto what looks like a mountain path.

"What, are we on a fucking hiking trip?" I demand, but I don't get an answer for that either. Just a knowing chuckle and a "Wait and see."

The air gets slightly colder the higher we climb. I even have to force my ears to pop painfully as the path spirals ever upward. I get more and more frustrated as time passes. On the bright side, the scenery is nice. The path is rather thin, with cliffs rising high one one side, and pine trees on the othier. One time, we even pass beneath a massive thundering waterfall that falls to become a river further down.

Finally, as we reach a grassy clearing high above the castle, I lose my temper. "Okay, I'm fucking done. Now only do you treat me like shit by ordering me to come here like one of your subjects, but now you drag me on some trip to who knows where without even telling me why? What the fuck are you playing..." I notice that Celestia isn't even looking at me. She's gazing at something to my left. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, you stupid...whoa..."

I cut off despite myself, my rage dying in my throat when I see what Celestia is looking at. The clearing ends at a steep cliff, but that's not the interesting part. The view up here is utterly amazing. I can see forfucking miles.

Stretched out directly in front and below me is a large forest, through which a set of tiny looking railroad tracks pass. It all looks like one massive toy set from up here. To my left, I can see Ponyville, despite the fact that it's a long way from Canterlot. There's Sweet Apple Acres, the Town Square, Golden Oaks Library, and the Everfree sitting innocently next to the whole thing.

"What do you think, Seth? Isn't it beautiful?" Celestia asks me softly, not a hint of an "I told you so," anywhere in her voice.

"It's one hell of a view, I'll give you that much," I mutter in reply. I'm not as mad at her as I was a second ago, because this is breathtaking.

"Up ahead of you is White Tail woods, beyond which lies Smokey Mountain and Vanhoover," Celestia describes for me, though I can't help but raise an eyebrow at the names. Vanhoover? Are you fucking kidding me? More human influence, I suppose. Who the hell finds the name of a city in ancient records and says, "I'mma make a horse pun from this?" Fucking ponies, that's who. "To your right, you'll see Cloudsdale, one of the largest cities in Equestria."

Cloudsdale? Why do I get the feeling that's not going to be a pu..., "Holy shit!" I exclaim once I spot the massive cloud formation that's actually not a cloud formation. The oddly regular wisps of cloud jutting above the surface of the clouds are actually fucking buildings made from clouds! That's not even the best part. There's rainbows falling from the clouds like waterfalls. Like, I can hardly believe it myself. "So...Cloudsdale. a city on a cloud. Right what it says on the tin. Fucking magic."

"As nice as the view is, I doubt you dragged me all the way up here just for this," I say, sighing. Celestia smiles and gestures behind me with her head. Her horn glows ever so slightly, making me suspicious. I turn around to see what she's indicating.

To my shock, there's a fucking picnic set up on the grass where there had been none before, complete with a plaid quilt and a straw basket. There's already some food set out there, like fruits, salads, and sandwiches, as well as some drinks. All of them look exquisitely made.

My suspicion grows. "The fuck is all this for?"

"I wanted to talk with you about your experiences in Equestria over a nice meal, if that's all right with you," Celestia answers warmly, walking over to the quilt and sitting down on her haunches.

"No, it's not fucking all right. What the hell is all this? The reason I didn't answer your damn letter beforehand was because I knew you'd pull some shit like this!" I rage, my suspicions true after all. Celestia's face falls slightly, but she doesn't look surprised. "I can't figure you out! Why go through so much effort for me? What the hell do you want?!"

"Seth..."

"You know what? Fuck this. I'm so damn sick of you ponies always trying to sucker me in with these favors of yours. I won't have it, you hear me? I WON'T HAVE IT!" I turn on my heel and storm back towards the path that leads down the mountain. Seriously, I don't know what I expected. Can't you ponies just talk to me without offering me all this shit? I know your game, and I won't fall...

"Seth, I am not that person!" Celestia's commanding words stop me right in my tracks. I whirl back around, my eyes narrowed. I step closer to her.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" I ask in a dangerously soft voice. She also used human terminology...what the hell does she think she knows?

Celestia meets my gaze, and once more I'm reminded of how imposing of a gaze she can hold. "You're scared, aren't you?" she says in an equally soft manner, though there's sympathy in her voice.

"Make some fucking sense, right the fuck now." I'm starting to curse even more repetitively than normal. She better not be doing her mindfucking tricks again.

"Someone gave you something. Something wonderful, that meant a lot to you," Celestia begins. My eyes widen. Oh no you fucking don't. You're not allowed to read me like this. How can you...you weren't there...don't you fucking...NO! "And then that same someone used that to control you."

"Stop. Just stop," I command her, but she's not listening to me at all. She rises and moves towards me slowly.

"What's been done to you is unforgivable, but you have to let that go," Celestia advises me gently. Finally, she reaches me, and then she cranes her head forwards, resting it on my shoulder and nuzzling my ear. "I am not that person, Seth."

I'm dead silent for several minutes, and she doesn't move either, attempting to comfort me with her physical presence. It's not working. I don't believe you. You're not her, but that doesn't matter. That same potential is present in everyone. Just because you hide it better doesn't mean it's not there.

"You can't fucking know," I grunt, stepping back. "So you're not Janna. So what? Why should I care? You'll talk a good game, but if you'd been there, you'd have just gone along with the flow like everyone else. In fact..."

I jab a finger in her face. "You're just like her! You're the princess of an entire nation! You can have whatever you want, whenever you want! Nopony would ever say anything wrong about the 'great Princess Celestia!' If she's doing it, it must be right!"

Celestia doesn't react at all like I'd expect. After a tirade like that, everyone I'd know would just throw up their arms and say, "Fuck it." Not her.

"I believe I understand. She hid her vile intentions behind a kind exterior, and used that same visage to manipulate those around her," Celestia conjectures, rather accurately. "She must have had some influence as well, for you to compare her to me."

"So fucking what?"

"So, it seems we're in a bit of a pinch, so to speak," Celestia continues. "You have two choices before you."

"And here comes the ultimatum," I growl angrily.

"You can't prove that I am like this Janna. But neither can I prove that I am not. Therefore, you can leave, and distance yourself from the situation to prevent any chance of the same pain occurring again," Celestia begins. Heh, I like that choice. In fact, I'll do that right... "Or you can stay, and put your long held preconceptions to the test. You don't believe that all of us are the same. There's always one or two individuals that are worth knowing, correct? How can you find out if I am one of them if you don't take a chance on me?"

"Because..." I start, but my voice dies in my throat when I realize that I don't have a logical comeback to that. She's right. I took a chance with Amaryllis, and I fell in love with her. I took a chance with my brother, and found one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I took a chance with Rainbow...and she's done right by me so far. "I guess I can't."

Celestia smiles, and gives a nod of satisfaction. "Then I leave the choice up to you. Though I must say..." At that, I look at her suspiciously as her horn lights up golden and something flies out of the picnic basket, wrapped in plastic. Is that a piece of...are you...what the...I watch dumbfounded as Celestia unwraps the confection and takes a bite of what looks to be the most enticing piece of chocolate cake I've ever seen. "The cake is particularly delicious."

I can't help myself. I give a chuckle despite my dark mood. The sight of this regal princess of the sun or whatever gorging herself on chocolate fucking cake like it's no big deal is just funny.

"Fucking...fine. I don't trust you, but I'll eat with you. If you hold this over my head in any way, shape, or form, I'll fucking murder you. Got it?" I snap, giving in with bad grace.

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of it." Celestia replies with a bright smile, and then the two of us walk together back towards the picnic blanket.

Which is good, because I'm fucking hungry.

---

Author's Note:

I've finally passed my Golden Sun story in views! I'm really happy, as this is probably the most popular my stories have ever been. Which is rather funny, since this is still nothing compared to most of the site, but it's a milestone for me as a writer. I'm still holding onto the hope that my popularity will explode one night. Unlikely, but better to be positive. A LESSON THAT SETH SHOULD LEARN!

Finally got to introduce Cadance. That's why I didn't just include the whole scene with Celestia in the last chapter, because I wanted to spend some time with her and Seth getting to know one another slightly. Of course, she only just figured out that he's pretty dark.

Also, more character development, and more insight as to the whole situation with Janna. You probably have a pretty good idea of what all happened, but there's a lot more to it that I haven't developed yet. Stay tuned, and leave a review! Dey make meh happy x3

The wind swept across the clearing, blowing my hair gently. I notice with a start that its length has snuck up on me again. Before I'd gotten zapped into this crazy ass world of ponies, it had been about that time when I'd have gone to get it cut, since it becomes an incredible hassle to deal with once it gets longer than my shoulders. Right now, I can tell it's now lower than my shoulders. So basically, girl length. Lovely.

Why am I thinking about about my hair right now? Probably because I'm sitting on a quilt across from the fucking Princess of the Sun. Eating a lunch that I'm not really sure that I should be eating.

I feel nuts, writing about this. It's just a damn picnic lunch...I really shouldn't be so crazy about it...but I've had less held over my head before. Not to mention, this is really high quality stuff.

In my hand, I'm holding a sandwich. It's some kind of vegetarian thing, I think. There's lettuce, spinach, tomato, and cheese in it, which is a rather odd combination in my opinion. It would be better if there was bacon...but that statement could actually be applied to anything ever.

Taking a bite of it sends assorted tastes exploding in my mouth. Holy shit, that's sourdough bread. I fucking love sourdough. One of my earliest memories is me getting scolded by my mother when I was young because I ate an entire loaf of it by myself, and got sick. My taste for it never went away.

Celestia watches me for a reaction for whatever reason. "Do you like it?" She asks softly, breaking the silence that had persisted between us since I'd sat down here in the first place.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't eat it," I say bluntly, taking another bite of the epicness that is sourdough. Hell, I don't even need the filling. This bread I'd eat all on its own. "Why do you care, anyway? Isn't this just something you had your servants do for you?"

"On the contrary, everything here I prepared myself, and there is nothing more satisfying for a cook than hearing someone tell you they enjoy it," Celestia corrects me, beaming. Ugh, so I essentially gave her a compliment, despite my best intentions.

"Sure, okay. So you made all of this, for me. When you knew I was going to get pissed off about it. The hell were you trying to accomplish?"

"Honestly, I wasn't thinking about that when I made it. I just felt it would be relaxing for the two of us to enjoy the view from the top of the mountain while having a nice lunch," Celestia admits. Then she puts on a mischievous smile. "There's also the fact that Luna has been trying to get me to cut down on my sugar intake, so I had to come out here if I wanted to eat my cake."

"You and your damn cake," I remark, shaking my head. A thousand years old, and here she is, running from her sister so she can eat cake. I guess growing up really is optional. Though it's comforting to know she's not perfect either.

"What? It's delicious," Celestia giggles, and then she takes a bite out of the sugary confection in question. I sigh and continue to eat my sandwich. After a few moments, Celestia asks me, "Do you remember what I asked you in my letter from before?"

"You asked a lot of questions," I say, but the truth is, I don't really remember exactly what the letter said except for the whole "come to Canterlot" thing. Celestia raises an eyebrow. And she knows I'm bullshitting. Fucking mind reading pony princess. "But I've slept since then. Refresh my memory, would you?"

"Of course. I simply wanted to know if you had made any friends since we last spoke," Celestia reminds me with a knowing smile. I swallow the last of my sandwich and drop my hands in exasperation. Is she really going to make me tell her this? What, does she want to hear how right she was?

"Seriously, what do you care? Honestly, you've put way to much effort into me than most of my race put together. And for no real reason," I demand, deciding that now's a good time to try and figure her out. "Yeah, Sombra was a big deal for you, so I can see why you'd come see me initially, but to go out of your way to act all therapist? The fuck?"

"Seth, I am sovereign over millions of ponies, and I care for each one of them as if they were my own foals. I know you aren't a pony, but I consider you among this number, nevertheless. What kind of mother would I be if I stood by idly while her foals are in pain?" Celestia explains to me, though this just serves to confuse me further.

"You what?! I happened to show up in Equestria, and so you just decide to 'adopt' me or whatever?"

"Not literally, of course. But do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" Celestia presses.

"Not really, no. You've met me once. That's not enough time for you to care about me," I tell her flatly. Celestia sighs and tries again.

"There are many ponies in Equestria whose names I do not know, but I care about them nonetheless. I still feel pain if they are suffering. Why should it be any different for you?"

"Because I'm NOT one of your goddamn ponies!" I yell. Celestia's eyes harden at my rising voice. "I'm not important! You would be better off if you just left well enough alone! Don't even try to tell me that it doesn't bring you down interacting with me! Just...hurry up and decide that I'm too much trouble for you already."

"Seth, I know that pain!" Celestia snaps, cutting across my tirade. The change in her voice is enough to get me to shut up and look at her, surprised. "I know how it feels to be completely alone in the middle of a crowd; to know that no matter how they try, they'll never understand."

"Yeah, and what's your sob story, huh? You lost your favorite toy?" I realize a second after those words leave my mouth that that had been over the line. That was a particularly asshole thing to say, even for me. To her credit though, she doesn't explode at me.

"I lost my sister, Seth," Celestia reveals, her expression turning sad. Shit, I really fucked up, didn't I? She does know what it's like to lose a sib...wait a moment. Luna's her sister. "I lost her for a thousand years."

"Hold up, what? I thought Luna was your sister."

"She is. Perhaps it would be better if I told you the full story," Celestia suggests. She opens the basket of food and passes me more food. "Another sandwich?"

I accept the food wordlessly, inwardly rejoicing both at the fact that I'm still alive after saying something so callous, and that I get to eat more sourdough. "You'd best, I suppose."

"Very well then. If you recall, I am the Princess of the Sun, and my sister is the Princess of the Moon. Together, we..." Celestia begins. I'm going to summarize most of this, because it is a rather long story, but it's fucking shocking as all hell.

So according to Celestia, their titles as Solar and Lunar Princesses aren't just symbolic. She says that every morning, she raises the sun to create morning, and Luna raises the moon every night. This is total bullshit, since the laws of nature can't be that fucked up. In fact, I had to stop her there.

"Stop right the fuck there. You don't raise the sun, and Luna doesn't raise the moon," I correct her. Celestia stops talking, nonplussed.

"But of course I do. If I didn't, the world would freeze over in the course of a week," she contests, confused. I shake my head vigorously.

"No, no no. I don't know what you're trying to pull, saying that you raise the sun, but that's not how it works!" I snap. "Let me explain it to you this way. The planet rotates, and because of that, the sun appears to rise in the east and set in the west, when it doesn't actually move at all."

"Oh? What an interesting hypothesis. Is this how your kind explained the night and day cycles? I heard that at one time, they were able to rise and set on their own," Celestia actually looked genuinely interested in what I was saying, rather than guilty because I'd caught her in a lie.

"Of course they rise and set on their own! There's no way anything can move the sun! It's a giant fucking ball of burning gas located hundreds of millions of miles away! Are you assuming that..." suddenly I stop talking, realizing something. I swear, if this is the case, I'm going to find that fucker and put him under a birds nest. See how he likes getting shit upon. "Are you telling me that the natural order of things just sort of stopped at one point?"

"That is indeed the case. I was born in a time when the world was a chaotic mess, all because of the misdeeds of a certain..."

"Discord," the two of us say at the same time, though mine is more of a deadpan. So let me just try and get this straight in my head. Sombra shows up, zaps me with a temporal stasis spell, and then summons an army of human/pony zombies to wipe out the human race, tough it takes about 80 years or so. Then at some point, this Discord fucker shows up, and turns the world into his own personal playground, fucking things up so bad, nature just stops working. The earth stops rotating, and magic appears out of nowhere because a magical noodle said so. What? He's a fucking noodle, and everypony knows it!

"Okay, your story fits what I've discovered so far, but until I see it, I'm not going to believe it," I tell her honestly.

With that out of the way, Celestia continues with her story by describing their respective roles. Over time, apparently Luna started to get jealous because all the ponies were sleeping in the day. You know, because organisms still need vitamin D to stay healthy. But I suppose I somewhat understand. If I assume that I believe that Luna brings the night (which I don't) , then it would probably be a bitch to go through all that effort to make something, only for nopony to be around to look at it.

Then Celestia said that ponies started forgetting that Luna even existed, so she started getting bitter and angry. Celestia looked really sad when she described how Luna would come to her with these problems, but she would never take them all that seriously, giving her sister two bit advice and sending her away.

Now this is a fucking story. Next, Luna lost her shit and apparently delved into some serious dark magic...which then promptly took her over and turned her into some kind of demonic entity called Nightmare Moon, who then proceeded to trash the place and cause a solar eclipse.

Oh, you think that's ridiculous? Get a load of this. Celestia and Nightmare Moon fought over Canterlot and nearly blew the place up, and then because she couldn't kill her sister, she used that magic friendship super weapon of ridiculousness to...and get this...banish her to the moon for a thousand years. This story is so fucking fantastic I don't even know where to start. Sounds like something out of an old Greek fable.

"Everypony called my sister a monster after that. Nopony bothered to learn why or how I felt about having to banish my own sister," Celestia confides to me. She starts to look sad. I guess even though you have your sister back now, that pain never went away. I suppose I can understand that as well. If you handed Amaryllis to me right now, I'd still never forget how I felt when I found out I lost her.

"And you never lost your temper with them?" I ask, mulling her words over. I know if ponies started talking shit about Amaryllis after I lost her...I'd probably have murdered some of them.

"What good would it have done? I couldn't fault them for thinking that way. If Nightmare Moon had won, they would have been condemned to a slow death from the lack of warmth," Celestia points out. Shit...she's right.

"You're right. None of them would ever understand," I have to admit. I can't even imagine how she must have felt, mourning her sister for thousands of years, while everypony else was just like, "Good fucking riddance." Then I remember something. "Wait, so how did you get your sister back?"

"The spell would only last for a thousand years. At the end of that, she would come back, exactly as she was when she was sealed," Celestia continues her story. You know, whether this is all true or not, this is definitely a good tale. If I was a producer, I'd make an anime out of this in an instant. Then again, it looks true to her. I can hear genuine sadness in her voice. "I had to use other, more desperate measures to deal with her the second time, as the Elements of Harmony would not work for me alone."

"So you brought in Twilight and her friends," I conjecture, putting two and two together. "But that doesn't explain why the Elements turned her to normal this time, as opposed to banishing her to the moon as before."

"I cannot begin to fathom how the Elements work. They are mysterious to me as they are to everypony," Celestia admits. "All I know is that they get stronger when in the presence of a true bond of friendship. We were able to defeat Discord only because my sister and I were together, our will as one."

"So when your sister was gone, they wouldn't work for you," I realize. "Holy hell, if they were strong enough to defeat a god with just two of you, how strong are they with Twilight and her five other friends?"

"Strong enough to cleanse the darkness itself and return my sister to me," Celestia replies, a smile finally returning to her face. "Now that I have her back, I'll never take her for granted again."

"A lesson I wish I'd learned," I mutter, looking at the ground. Celestia hears me though, and she gazes at me sympathetically. It's odd, knowing that somepony knows how I feel. She didn't lose her entire race, but that doesn't matter, because I never gave a fuck about most of my race anyway. She lost her sister, just as I lost my brother. She hasn't mentioned losing a loved one, but she's immortal. We've all heard the story that immortals tend to shy away from relationships, because their partners die and it hurts like a bitch. Out of appreciation for this, I decide to cave a little. "To answer your earlier question, I do have some friends."

Celestia looks at me in surprise, ad then her expression turns happy, a warm smile crossing her face. "Oh?" And she wants to know more. Of course. Well, I started this. Might as well finish it.

"Two, to be exact. Rainbow Dash and Apple Bloom."

"I don't believe I've met the latter more than a few times, but Rainbow Dash is a wonderful pony. You'll find an amazing friend in her," Celestia expresses.

"So I've been told. It's too early for me to tell, though. She's kinda fun, but I won't know if she's real or not until much later," I reply critically. Celestia nods understandingly. "Took me forever to give her a chance though."

"What made you do it?"

"Heh, her near death. I'm rather stubborn, in case you hadn't noticed," I answer bluntly. Celestia nods solemnly. She's not surprised though. No doubt incident reports went to her directly. She probably knows all about that...which means she knows about my magic.

"I see. I'm glad you decided to give her that chance. However, this brings me to the next subject I wanted to talk to you about." Celestia starts to look serious, making me slightly anxious. "I sensed a great deal of magic coming from the forest that day. Eyewitness reports claim it was you that showed this magic."

"Yeah, I figured you would ask about this. Though before I answer that, how the fuck could you sense something from so far away?" I demand.

"Equestria is blanketed in magic, Seth. Any pony attuned to magic, like unicorns or alicorns, can sense any disturbance in the fabric of magic with the proper training," Celestia explains. I guess that makes sense...not. I don't know shit about magical theory. Though it's good to know that the princesses are called alicorns. Sounds less dumb than pegacorn or unisus.

"Okay, we'll go with that. Anyway, yeah, that was my magic. The magic I didn't even know I had, mind you. I don't know where it came from, I don't know anything about it. It just happened and then the monster died," I confirm.

"I see. I believe I have sensed magic like this before, but I can't be sure without seeing for myself," Celestia muses. That gets me to look at her in alarm.

"What? You know something? Tell me!" I demand, standing up.

"As I said, I can't be sure. I wouldn't want to tell you without knowing all the details," Celestia repeats, though she does stand up as well. "Would you mind showing me this magic?"

"I most certainly would. You have no idea what it did to me the last time I used it," I protest, frustrated. Who cares if you have the details or not? I hate having this presence in my body that I don't know a thing about. Celestia tilts her head to one side, confused. "It hurt me, Celestia! If it hadn't been for Rainbow, I'd have probably died!"

"Really? Can you tell me how it hurt you?" Celestia asks, concerned.

"Only that the last thing I remember is hurting like a bitch and spitting up blood, while Rainbow stood over me," I recall.

"I see. If that's the case, then it shouldn't be a problem. I happen to be a competent healer," Celestia assures me. That's right...the stronger magic users can use healing spells. Celestia is supposed to be one of the stronger ones, supposedly. Especially if that aura she carries around with her is anything to go by. But that's not the only worry I have.

"Healer or not, I'll still feel it, and it will suck. But that's not all. I can hardly remember a thing about that time. What if I do something crazy? Like attack you?" I demand.

"Why would you attack me?" Celestia inquires, though she doesn't look at all concerned about that.

"Because I do remember one thing, and that's that I wanted to kill everypony and everything around me. I don't even want to think about what might have happened if Rainbow hadn't been there," I admit. Celestia watches me for a moments, and then nods in understanding.

"Okay. I understand how you feel. But I need you to do this. Can you be strong for me?" Celestia says softly. The words she chooses makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like she's treating me like a kid...which I am compared to her.

"What if I attack you, though?" I repeat. "I have no idea if I'll be able to stay in control."

"It's all right. I can assure you that I won't be hurt," Celestia replies smiling at what she thinks is a show of concern for her. It's not.

"That's not what I meant. Can you guarantee me immunity from the law if I attack you?" That's what I really meant. I have no doubt I'd be locked up forever if I laid a hand on her. Or worse, Luna would murder me.

"If that's what you're worried about, then do not fear. The council likes to believe otherwise, but I am the law. It is ultimately my decision on how ponies are punished. And, if you remember, you're not a pony, so you're exempt from our law," Celestia points out.

"Yeah, but that won't stop your...ugh, fuck it, fine. Arguing with you is pointless," I say, giving in with bad grace. If I'm going to do this, I might as well do it sooner rather than later. "Just give me a moment to finish my lunch."

---

A few moments later, the picnic has been cleaned up and moved out of the way. Celestia and I are standing on opposite sides of the grassy clearing, the wind blowing through. The area is dead silent. Celestia is watching me closely, as I once again try to find and release that magical power I used to defeat the Scorpios.

Until I realize I'm just standing here straining. This isn't working. I've read all these books about searching yourself mentally, but I have no idea how to do that. I can feel the pressure in my chest that I now know is my magical core or whatever, but I can't get it to produce magic. "So...I can't figure out how to use it," I admit, relaxing my posture.

"Do you recall how you called upon it the first time?" Celestia asks curiously.

I shake my head. "Not really. I just remember seeing Rainbow about to die, and then my memory blurs."

"Can you recreate how you felt at that time? It might help." I try to do as she suggests, but that doesn't work either. I can picture that scene in my mind, and I start to feel a little something, but then I remember that Rainbow is still alive and with me in Canterlot, so it goes away. I shake my head again. "In that case, I apologize in advance, but can you draw upon more painful memories?"

"What, like how my entire race is dead?" I respond bitterly. Celestia shakes her head.

"No, I'm referring to the friend you lost." Her words cause me to freeze. I look up, glaring intensely at her. Who the fuck gave you the right to bring her up? I can hardly notice it, but the pressure is getting stronger again. "Do you remember who killed her?"

"How could I forget..." I growl softly, images of King Sombra flashing through my mind. I remember that evil grin of his, that massive power he possessed, the sight of my niece dying horribly by his twisted creations, and then dying again at my own hands. I would love nothing more than to tear him limb from limb, and roast what's left of him on a spit. But I can't do that. "When you robbed me of my revenge!"

The pressure breaks loose without me realizing it, and from there, my memory gets a little fuzzy again. I can remember it a bit better than last time, and whatever I don't remember, Celestia helps me to remember afterward. So I'll just write what I can.

My vision turns lime green again, and every single vein in my eyes stand out to me as red jagged lines. The edges of my vision flare purple, and the air around me shimmers and distorts, dark magical power erupting from the ground around my feet. The ground itself ruptures, cracks spidering away from me.

Heh, I can already feel it. Power is flowing through my veins. I can take on everything. Nothing can stop me now. Green lightning sparks away from my body at random intervals, scorching the ground and the cliffside with every strike.

"It seems I was right," Celestia observes grimly. A twisted chuckle escapes my throat, causing her to look at me worriedly. "Seth, can you hear me?"

Oh yes I can. I see you staring at me with those eyes. Those eyes that know everything. They piss me off.

The second time around, it's much easier to feel the currents of magic flowing through the air. I latch onto one that's pointed towards Celestia, and my vision blurs slightly as my body is transported at a speed I can scarcely follow myself.

Celestia blinks when I disappear from her vision, and then her eyes widen when I appear directly in front of her and slam my right fist directly into her snout before she can prepare herself. "Take it!" I shout, and then laugh insanely as she's sent tumbling end over end in an undignified manner from my punch. Her crown falls off in the process, landing on the grass near the cliff side. "Get up! You've got a lot to answer for, you bitch!"

Celestia rises to her feet, a slight bruise forming on her face where I'd struck her. Some dirt is smeared across her flawless white coat, but other than that she doesn't look all that hurt. Time to fix that. If I can't have my revenge on Sombra, I'll take it out on you.

"Didn't you say I wouldn't be able to hurt you?" I snarl, zooming towards her once again through a magical currently. I swing my left fist towards her, but this time, it collides with Celestia's left leg, just above the fetlock. The collision sends a black shockwave out in every direction, tearing out the grass on the ground beneath us by the roots and digging into the dirt beneath. The sound the ensues is like that of thunder. "Not bad..."

Then, my right leg soars up and catches her in the side. Using the magical power soaring through my body, I increase the force of the hit and once again knock her completely over, this time sending her clear off the edge of the cliff.

Celestia's wings flare out, slowing her flight. Still, even as she flies back towards the clearing, she doesn't attack me. This serves to anger me. "Fight back! I want to crush you at your best! Show me this power that killed Sombra!" I yell at her, and then I'm in her face once more, sending a flurry of punches at her face.

In midair we clash. My dark aura keeps me in the air, while her powerful wings do the same for her. She's blocking everything I send at her, but I don't care. The feeling of being able to use all this power on somepony who's wronged me...it's glorious. I can't stop laughing, even as she blocks another one of my punches and dodges another.

I put more power into my right fist and swing at her, but she flies out of the way. Using a current, I fly at her again with my left fist, but she allows herself to fall under it. "Eargh...stop it! Fight me! Or do you keep your kingdom merely by the threat of force you don't even have!?" I challenge her. Celestia's expression hasn't changed since the beginning. She's still watching me with a grim, concerned expression.

I chase after her again, this time infusing my leg with power, causing it to flare up with darkness and electricity. With a grunt of exertion, I bring my leg around in a roundhouse kick, hoping to knock her back down to the clearing. She ducks under it, but this time I adapt and catch her in the side of the neck with my left fist.

"Come on, you're not even using magic!" I shout at her in frustration as she soars down and slams into the clearing, cracking the ground on impact. Still, she rises to her feet, seeming no worse for wear. Good, I'd be dissatisfied if she died so quickly. Oh yes, I'm going to kill her. I'm going to tear each one of those limbs from her body, and do to her what I was going to do to Sombra. Maybe I'll parade her body around Canterlot? I grin evilly at the thought of all those ponies crying over their "esteemed" leader.

Propelling myself even faster than before, I clench both hands together and swing them both down onto Celestia's head, taking care to avoid the horn in the process. The impact sends dust and darkness exploding everywhere, and the noise is so loud I'm sure the ponies down in Canterlot can hear it.

Something's wrong. My eyes narrow when I feel that my hands had hit something that did not feel like her head. When the dust clears, my suspicions are confirmed. My hands are resting upon a single leg. Heh, so she blocked my two handed hit with just one of her legs. Now this would be more fun if she'd only fight back!

I leap back, gathering my power again. I notice Celestia's crown on the ground next to me. On a whim, I pick it up and turn it around. "You know, for a princess, I thought you'd be stronger than this." I taunt her. Celestia doesn't reply. "Say, what if I killed you, and took Equestria for myself?"

I set the crown atop my head. "Yes...I wonder how Equestria would handle a new prince. A strongprince, not a weakling like you," I continue, hoping that I can get a reaction out of her this time. Still nothing. Celestia just stares at me with that same look she's been wearing the whole time. I frown. "Say something! Don't you care that I'm going to tear your country apart?"

Still nothing. This is no fun. I want to see the fear in your eyes before I crush you. "Guess I'll make you talk then!" With that, I rush at her again, shooting my right fist forward. She blocks that with her right hoof, so I attack with my left. She stops that with her left hoof.

Darkness and electricity flares away from us as we contest with one another in a battle of strength. I manage to push her hooves back a bit, but then it's like a hit a damn wall. Celestia's eyes narrow, and finally I see her eyes glowing gold with a hint of magic. "Yes...that's it. Show me that magic!" I exclaim exultantly, and then I headbutt her hard on her muzzle, pushing her back and allowing me to get a second hit in with my right fist.

I zoom to her once more, and while she's recovering, I shoulder rush her, lifting her completely off the ground with my magical strength and tossing her off the cliff once more. "Maybe I need to give you some more incentive. Do you know what I'm going to do after I kill you and take over your county?" Celestia's reaction is still the same. Nothing. Well, let's see if this will phase her. "I think I'll pay your sister a visit. You care for her, don't you?"

Aha, her eyes widened slightly. Now then, let's take this a step further. I plant my foot on the ground and grasp a magical current to send me flying at her once more, collecting magic power in my right fist. "Would it bother you if I tore her apart? Ripped her to pieces and make you watch?" I say almost casually as I soar towards her. "Or better yet, you're also fond of your 'personal protege', Twilight Sparkle. She's wronged me ever so much...I think I'll take great pleasure in..."

Suddenly, pain explodes in my cheek and my momentum completely reverses. A split second later, my back slams in the ground, forming a crater beneath me. Dust from the impact obscures my vision, and it isn't until seconds later that the dust is cleared by the wind...except it's not wind.

My lime eyes widen in shock when I see the spectacle before me. Celestia hovers in the air where I'd sent her before, only she's shrouded in a bright light. It's almost as if...sunlight itself is swirling up from around her hooves and encircling her body in its radiance. Here eyes are glowing intensely, and she's wearing one of the most intense fucking glares I've ever seen in my life. Did...she hit me? Is that how I ended up in this crater?

"That's quite enough," Celestia says calmly, though her voice sounds a great deal more commanding than before. "My suspicions have been confirmed. It's time to bring this to an end."

I get to my feet, stretching my arms and shaking off the pain in my back and face. A wicked grin crosses my face. "Oh? Are you going to kill me? Good, good! Do it! Fight me! Hurt me! Let's have some fun, Celestia!" I shout back at her, ecstatic. Maybe now I'll have the fight I've been craving.

I recollect my power, dark energy swirling up around my body to match her aura. Then, as if it had been planned, the two of us soar towards one another. Celestia is finally taking the offensive. Now things get fun.

Fist meets hoof in a colossal explosion of darkness and light. My excited green eyes stare into her narrowed, gold tinged violet eyes for a split second, and I can see the determination stamped into her eyes. Yes, I know the intent to kill when I see it. Unfortunately for her, I have that same intent!

I swing my other fist, but her other hoof meets that too, causing another shockwave. I reach to headbutt her again, but she backs off. I'm about to chase her, but suddenly she zooms past me almost faster than I can see, striking me in the side with a light covered hoof. That one hit knocks all of the wind out of my lungs, causing me to cough violently. This is...fuck, I've been hit again! Where did it come from?

I wheel around, noticing Celestia in the air to my right. I turn to face her, but then she's gone, and pain once more wracks my body. This is...how is she so fast? I was kicking her ass a second ago...ow, fuck!

Streaks of light cross across my vision as Celestia swoops around me at incredible speeds, striking me every time she passes me. The pain is starting to build up, and I can't help but clutch my body with both arms.

Celestia makes another pass. Come on...concentrate. I can do this. I am powerful, I am right. I can follow her if I just watch. I take an offensive posture one again, watching her carefully. Sure enough, I can see her coming in to hit me once more, light swirling around her body and making her look like an astral comet. The power I feel emanating from her manifests as a pressure on my body, making it difficult to move. But I can do this.

When she streaks through the air towards me again, I lift both arms and cross them in a block. I take her hit head on, and I let out a choked gasp. The force behind the attack was so great, it completely disregards my block and knocks me backwards.

I try to correct myself in midair, and I turn my head to see where I'm going to land. My eyes bug out when I spot Celestia hovering behind me. When did she get there? She turns around and bucks me hard in the chest with her two back legs, and I'm flying back in the way I came.

Come on, there has to be something I can do. My chest hurts badly...I'm sure some ribs are broken. Once more I try to stabilize myself, but once more, Celestia appears behind me.

"Not this time!" I roar, using my power to spin me around and swing both of my fists at her, clenched together. Celestia easily blocks it with her leg, and then she brings her head forward and butts mine hard. The impact causes me to see stars, even as I hurtle away from her and slam into the mountainside.

Celestia is in front of me before I can recover. She holds me in place with a hoof, staring at me intensely. "You are not all powerful. This magic of yours isn't that convenient," Celestia tells me firmly.

"Fuck you!" I roar, struggling to get free. How the hell is she so strong?

"I know this magic. It gives you great power, but endangers your sanity. I have known several ponies that have fallen prey to it, and I have no desire to see you become one of them," Celestia expresses to me.

"Haha...you're a fool. I am completely sane! You're crazy for dismissing the sheer power of this magic!" I snap back at her, and I blast her front with a concentrated blast of darkness. Taken off guard, Celestia soars backwards before righting herself with her wings. It's not far, but it allows me to get free and create some distance between us.

Something trickles from my nose, so I raise my hand to wipe it away. To my horror, it's blood. Heh, I guess I'm fighting on limited time. I need to crush her soon, and then find a place to recuperate before I assault her sister. Once her sister falls, the kingdom is mine.

"You need to come to your senses, Seth. You were correct about one thing. This power will kill you unless you break free from this insanity," Celestia warns me, but I'm not paying attention. My hand reaches out slowly, and then my rifle, which I had left on the ground earlier before I started eating, materializes in that hand.

Celestia watches as the darkness shoots down my arm and encircles the rifle. Unlike before, green lines run up the gun, and the actual structure of the thing starts to change. The edges become sharper and more angled. The colors change, turning a glossy black, and the faces turn gem-like, until it seems like I'm holding a gun made of pure gemstone, colored black like obsidian.

"Wrong, Celestia. This power will kill you!" I snarl, and then I orient the muzzle on the gun on her and pull the trigger.

The blast of pure darkness ringed by electricity slams into Celestia's form, exploding violently and kicking up dust and debris from the wrecked clearing. Of course, I doubt that'll kill her. I'd better make sure. "Hahaha, you can take your 'holier-than-thou' attitude and shove it up your ass!" I shriek. I pull the trigger again and again, like I had done before with the Scorpios. The conflagration of darkness gets so massive, it starts casting shadows on the landscape around us.

Just as I stop firing to view the damage, a blinding light cuts through the darkness, completely dispelling it. It's so bright, I can barely look at it, but what I do see sends a bolt of fear through me.

Celestia's form is wreathed in light so intense it's almost like fire...no, fire is too weak of a term to describe the inferno of light whirling around her. It's more like...a solar flare. Light streams from her eyes in ribbons, but I don't need to see her eyes to know that I'll need to fight hard if I want to beat her.

"You're the strongest...if I beat you, everything is..." I declare, but I can't complete my thought before Celestia fires a beam of intense concentrated light at me. It moves so fast, that all I can do is fire my rifle at it in an attempt to block, but it overpowers the darkness in half a second and catches me in the middle.

My screams of agony are so loud, it feels like my throat is tearing. The blast carries me through the air, scalding my skin, exacerbating my broken ribs, and burning my clothes.

I hit the ground hard, coughing up blood from both my injuries and this magic's effect on my body. I am also able to think a bit clearer to the point where I start wondering what's going on, while the other half of me wants to rip this bitch to shreds.

Celestia slams into the ground just in front of me. With a sound like an explosion, her magic intensifies and soars up into the air, evaporating the clouds in the sky above. She takes a few steps closer to me, the ground cracking with every step, the debris completely incinerating from her power.

"I...I can't win..." I groan, even as I attempt to rise. The sheer power erupting from her body is almost crushing me, to the point where I can't rise higher than my knees.

I sense another presence in the clearing as well. Lots of presences. Looking up, I see Princess Luna and an entire fucking platoon of the Royal Pegasus Corps flying into the air above the clearing, forming behind me such that I'm between Luna and Celestia.

"Sister! Art thou injured?" Luna cries out in worry, starry darkness swirling up from her body. She looks at me furiously, and then I feel her aura start to increase as well. "We hath awoken the moment we felt thy magic. We knew he was dangerous!"

"I am not injured, sister," Celestia answers calmly, never taking her eyes off of me. "I appreciate your worry and your offer of aid, but this is something I need to take care of myself."

"But sister, he..." Luna protests.

"I know."

"That magic, it's..."

"I know. Relax, Luna. If you would like, you may remain nearby. I can take care of this," Celestia assures her.

I can't help but laugh. "Can you? You'd have to kill me, you know," I warn her, calling upon every last inch of my power to get to my feet.

"Seth, stop. I know the lure of this magic is powerful, but you must resist it," Celestia commands me. I start to laugh again, but she's not done. "Think of your friend. If she were here right now, would she approve of you using this power to harm others?"

I freeze, and my mind becomes conflicted. I start to gain an awareness of my surroundings, but at the same time, hate and pain wrack my mind, making it hard to concentrate. "What...is the point of power...if not to...hurt?"

"You already know the answer to that question. Rainbow Dash is alive today because you used this power to save another," Celestia answers. I don't want to hear this...I'm going to...crush you like a fly. Magical power swirls around my right hand. "If you strike me, Seth, how will you be any different than Janna, who used her own power to cause you pain?"

That strikes a chord within me, and with a yell, I manage to break through, awareness rushing back to me. I also feel the strain that the magic usually exerts on my body lessen slightly.

Holy shit...what happened to the picnic...the clearing...what even. I look up, and I see Celestia's magical power rushing into the air. I scramble backwards, realizing only subconsciously that the dark magic is still licking up my form. "What the...Celestia? What did...did I...?"

Upon hearing my voice, Celestia powers down, the light dissipating into the air. At last I can see her form again, covered in dust, yet still managing to appear majestic. Her eyes return to their usual violet, and a smile returns to her face. "You did it, Seth. I knew you could," she praises me, but I won't have it.

"Fucking...I fucking knew it! Ow, fuck...did I get hit with a sledgehammer?!" I shout, and then regret it, "Ow...hurts to ow..."

"Remain still, I'll help you," Celestia assures me, and her horn lights up again. Ribbons of her golden magic swirl around me, repairing the massive burn...wait what the fuck...where did that even come from? Where the hell is my shirt!?

The burn on my chest slowly repairs itself, and I wince as I feel bones readjust themselves inside my body. My ribs are broken again...dammit, this always happens. "Dammit Celestia, I warned you that I might attack you...and look what happened?! Why did you make me do this?"

"Sister, shall we arrest him now?" Luna asks, glaring at me balefully. Wait, Luna? When did she get here? And HOLY FUCK THERE'S AN ARMY! I glare at Celestia. Did she break her promise?

Celestia shakes her head, looking at her sister reassuringly. "Sister, I'll explain to you later, in greater detail. You may withdraw now. I believe your army is making Seth nervous," she explains.

"Art thou serious? We fought magic of the like before, didst thou forget?" Luna demands. I remember Celestia saying she'd encountered this magic before. She and Luna fought magic like this? Who was it that did so?

"I did not. Please, let me handle this. He did not attack me of his own will, as I instructed him to do so," Celestia beseeches her sister. Luna glances between her and me, uncertainly.

"Very well, we trust thee. But we will require a full explanation upon thy return!" Luna asserts, before taking off in the direction of Canterlot. "Attend to us, soldiers!"

Celestia waits until all of the soldiers are gone before she turns back to me. Soon, her healing is finished, and I'm able to stand well. "Seth, can you see if you can consciously control the flow of your magic?" she asks me, pointing a hoof at me. I look down, and then yelp when I realize I'm still on fire. With darkness or whatever. Oh yeah, and my vision is still fucked up. It's weird that I can think straight like this.

Like before, I stop the flow of magic in my body. Unlike before, I don't pass out in exhaustion. I wonder if that has something to do with the healing magic she used. Since I don't hurt at all anymore. I am filthy as hell though. "You said you know what this was," I remind her. "Since I nearly got myself killed by you and your damn sister, I think you owe me that explanation."

"You're right, I believe I do. Before that, would you object to coming back to the castle and getting cleaned up?" Celestia offers. Ugh, I don't want to wait any longer. I open my mouth to protest, but I'm cut off. "You see, your mane is thoroughly saturated with dirt."

"Are you fucking..." I groan, reaching up to my beloved hair. Sure enough, dirt and bits of rock are tangled within. "Dammit, that's going to be a pain to get out!"

---

Author's Note:

Mehehe, I doubt any of you saw this coming. The second real fight scene in the fic, and I think I pulled it off pretty well. Those of you that know Celestia knew that was never going to end well for Crazed Seth. You don't pick a fight with the Royal Princess of the Sun.

For those of you who wondered why Seth attacked her, it's because he still subconsciously blames her taking away his revenge, and reason to live in the process. enjoyed it as much as I did.

By the way, if you're looking for a good song to fit Celestia when she fought back, I suggest Story Time, by Nightwish. I took a listen to the lyrics and they fit her very well.

Please leave a comment, and tell me what you think!

"Hold on, I said what?!" I gasp, my eyes bugging out slightly. Celestia chuckles slightly at my reaction.

"Indeed. You were quite adamant on taking my throne," she repeats. I heave a disbelieving sigh as the two of us descend the mountain path back towards the castle.

Along the way, Celestia's been telling me more about what I'd been like before she managed to rouse me from my apparent insanity. I mean, I knew I hadn't been in control back when I fought the Scorpios, but to think that I'd been this far gone...it's just surreal. I guess this is what it feels like to drink yourself into a black out, only to wake up with no memory of the previous night's events.

Honestly, I'm a bit disturbed by the things she's telling me. I had knocked off her crown and then stated an intent to take over Equestria. You think that's bad, I even fucking threatened to kill Luna and Twilight in terrible ways just to make Celestia suffer. As if I need I another reason to fear this magic. The things I reportedly said...they're so unlike me. I'm an asshole who may complain about how things are done, yeah, but I'd never consider taking over. I have no interest in power, because it usually comes with tons of other work to keep the kingdom running...and I'm simply too lazy for something like that. As for the killing, I believe I've said before that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I killed anyone. It's not my right to steal away the life from another. It doesn't matter if my race sucked, I'd never have killed anyone.

Yeah, I'm frightened. This magic...I resolve to keep it within me and never use it. It's too random of a variable. What if next time, I kill Rainbow? I think I would die.

"Goddamn," I murmur, looking away from Celestia guiltily. "No, you and Luna have been ruling for a hell of a long time, and Equestria's still standing. I don't want to take over."

"Seth, I don't blame you for the things you said while under the influence of your magic. I'll explain further once the both of us are clean," Celestia assures me. I grunt in response. I wish she'd just tell me now. Sure, I'm missing a shirt because Celestia burned it the fuck to pieces...but that's no big deal. Maybe it is to Rarity. She'll probably flip a shit, since she worked really hard on this winter outfit.

Returning to the castle, we are immediately met by Luna, who looks as if she'd been waiting for us for a while. She watches me like a hawk, which I suppose I can understand.

"Sister, we art ready for thine explanation," Luna snaps, clearly unhappy by this whole situation.

"Just a moment, Luna. As you can see, I am hardly fit for a serious discussion, as unkempt as I look," Celestia says, but then she reconsiders, even as Luna opens her mouth to protest. "But, if you'd like to join me in the washroom, I can oblige you there."

"That...is acceptable," Luna concedes without further demur. A second later, what Celestia just said clicks in my mind.

"Hold on a minute, what?" I interrupt, looking at both Celestia and Luna. "You're going to shower together?"

"Of course. Is there a problem?" Celestia asks, looking perplexed.

"But...what the hell? Where I'm from, bathing with another adult is considered...wrong, to put it lightly," I relate. Seriously, it would just be fucking weird if I ever showered with Adam. The same goes for sisters I assume, only then you have a bunch of dumb men making earthy jokes about them.

"I see. However, in Equestria, it is common for ponies to assist in cleaning one another," Celestia reveals. Then she gives a small smile. "It is a sign of friendship and trust."

"Fucking weird is what it is," I mutter. Celestia nods, understanding our cultural differences, while Luna shoots me a dark glare. Wow, if she hadn't liked me before, she fucking hates me now. "Whatever. So where do I go to get clean?"

Celestia pauses, and then she turns to address one of the unicorn guards standing near the entryway. "Swift, would you mind escorting our guest to one of the empty rooms?"

The guard in question salutes smartly and immediately responds, "Yes, your Highness!" Swift leaves her post and snaps her gaze to me. Great, so I have to follow one of these bastards.

"When you are finished, speak to any guard and ask for the sitting room. I will meet you there," Celestia finishes, and then she and Luna enter the castle and disappear from view, leaving me with Swift.

"Come with me," Swift commands, stiffly turning her back on me and cantering into the castle as well. Huh, not even something as simple as a greeting. Bitch.

I do as I'm told, because I want to get clean as badly as Celestia does. We really wrecked that mountaintop. I almost wish I could have seen the fight myself, though I know that Celestia wiped the floor with me. Good to know she has the power to back up her position. I guess this country is pretty safe.

"So, is Swift your first name, or what?" I say somewhat awkwardly. I want to know a bit more about the military composition, so it makes sense to ask a guard personally. I might get better information than from that bitch, Elegant.

"You will refer to me as Sergeant Lance," is Swift's abrupt response. My eyes widen slightly, and then I scoff. Great, so I got landed with another bitch. Actually, you know what? You're just a lowly guard. I'm not going to take this.

"I'll call you whatever I damn well please, bitch," I retaliate viciously, not appreciating her attitude at all. Swift visibly bristles in anger at my words, but to her credit, she doesn't react. "Seriously, it's been nothing but assholes ever since I got here. I'm getting tired of it!"

"You are lucky you are under the Princesses' protection," Swift hisses back at me, seemingly ignoring most of my last statement. Of course, that's women for you. Pick one thing they don't agree with in what you say, and ignore everything else. "Some ponies don't appreciate the attention you're getting."

"Oh, so that's what this is about. Well, get over it. I'm not going to suddenly stop being human," I return bitterly.

"It's not about your species. It's simply wrong that you can completely disregard any form of courtesy in the presence of royalty, and yet still go unpunished," Swift corrects me. Oh, so she's being all stuck up about my lack of decorum.

"Well, excuse me for not giving a shit about pony royalty," I retort. Swift suddenly halts in the middle of the hallway. I pause, wondering if she's about to hit me.

Thankfully, all she does is open a door on the wall near us. I can see a bed inside, so I walk into the room. "This is one of the guest rooms. I recommend you step inside and think before the next time you speak to a Royal Guard as you just did," Swift says sternly, and then she shuts the door behind me.

"Bitch," I say again, even though I know she can't hear me. Seriously, every last asshole. Elegant Style was first, and now Swift Lance. Ugh. Get the fuck over yourselves already.

I turn around to view the room, and my breath is taken away. Hot damn this is luxurious. It's a good thing I'm only using this to bathe. There's no fucking way I'd accept a room like this.

Let me just describe this bullshit. The room is rectangular, with a circular raised portion in the far left corner accessible by small steps. Upon this platform is an elaborate four poster bed, with white and gold sheets and a translucent white set of curtains.

Situated in the forward right section of the room, there's a glass table surrounded by black...wait a moment, is that leather? That can't be right. I go and press down on one of the three black chairs to test my hypothesis. Hm, it looks like leather, but feels differently. Almost like cotton, or silk. Except it's a bit stiffer. Oh, so it's artificial leather. I've seen a few of those in my time. They're usually made of polyester, if I remember correctly. I was about to say, it's fucked up for ponies to use the skin of other ponies as luxury items. Anyhow, that aside, upon the glass table is a vase of flowers.

Three windows are on the opposite wall, gazing out unto the city of Canterlot below. As it's still the middle of the day, I can see all the different high class ponies moving from place to place. On the right side of the room is another door, which probably leads to the bathroom, since there's no other doors.

My hand clasps around the cool crystal doorknob and turn it, revealing a ridiculously luxurious bathroom. It makes Rarity's bathroom look like a fucking outhouse. Directly in front of me is the tub, which takes up one entire corner of the room. Yeah, it's massive. There's even six little knobs on the rim, for adjusting all kinds of settings.

Multiple vanities and cabinets line the left side of the room, with large pristine mirrors reflecting my dirtied ragged appearance. Celestia wasn't kidding, I look like total shit. My shirt and jacket got completely incinerated by Celestia being fucking OP as shit, and there's dirt and bits of grass and rock smeared all over my chest and pants. That's not even counting my poor hair. I'm the most bitter about that. It's hanging in tangles around my shoulders.

You know what, fuck the description. I won't be happy until my hair is back to normal.

---

So I actually spend an entire hour in that bathroom. Between bathing and grooming myself, I tend to take a long time, especially if my hair is fucked up by more than just the typical wind and shit. And it was super fucked up, to the point where the combs that are here got stuck and wouldn't move. So many tangles...ugh.

Finally, I step out of the bathroom, my hair once again silky smooth and shining. Surprisingly enough, there's a set of clothes lying folded on the glass table, while my clothes that I'd thrown all over the floor in the main room are gone.

I lift up the shirt, noticing that it's definitely made for a human. It's a royal blue color, with golden trims along the edges and stripes down the long sleeves. The cuffs are rolled up slightly, and the collar is folded neatly. Along with the shirt, there's also a set of black boxers and slim pants colored that same royal blue.

Suspicious, I slip on the boxers and pants. My suspicions are confirmed when the clothes fit perfectly. There's only one pony that I've let anywhere near me with a measuring tape. This is Rarity's work. How and why is her work up here in Canterlot? Why did she make more clothes for me without asking or giving them to me?

Well, I guess it's not that big of a deal. I already let her make some clothes for me. Who cares if she made one more set? The only thing I want to know is why they're here in the first place.

After getting dressed in the new outfit (in which I feel like a classy mother fucker), I leave my room behind, making sure to grab my rifle in the process.

Speaking of which, I take a close look at it. According to Celestia, it had undergone a metamorphosis or something into crystal. I don't see that, though. It looks as normal now as it has ever, despite it looking as good as new. I wonder if that was another aspect of this magic that I'm never going to use ever.

Whatever. I sling my rifle over my shoulder again and leave the room, making sure to grab my wallet and phone as well. I'm glad I had the foresight to take them out of my pockets before getting in the tub. They're both useless, but there's no way I'm getting rid of them.

So Celestia is in the sitting room, wherever that is. I suppose it would be too much to ask for there to be signs directing me there. No? Ugh, that means I have to talk to a random guard that will probably hate me.

Because I like being difficult, I stop a random passing maid (yes, a maid. It's even wearing the fucking outfit.) and ask her for directions. Turns out this fucking castle is more complicated than it needs to be. She gave me like, fourteen turns to take.

As I walk, it's easy to determine that I'm not very well liked here. The guards appear to be indifferent to me, but I assume that's because they're well trained. No, it's the staff and other nobles that are walking the halls that give me snooty looks as I pass by. They're so similar to humans I can't even stand it. I bet the relationship rumors will start any time now. Because somebody in power obviously can't talk to someone of the opposite gender without fucking them in private. Sound fucked up? Welcome to the human race.

Without bothering to knock, I push open the door to the sitting room and walk inside, my feet sinking into a plush red carpet. There's several seats lining the walls, but they're all empty. The only ponies in the room are Celestia and Luna.

"Ah, you're looking well, Seth," Celestia greets me graciously. I give her a once over as well, noticing how she's once again looking pristine and regal. Luna remains silent, for some reason not looking at me.

"Yeah, sure. You going to tell me what I want to know now?" I reply impatiently.

"Of course, I did promise. However, I was hoping you and Luna would talk first. I understand there is a bit of animosity between you," Celestia responds, and I have to rub my forehead in exasperation. One thing after another! God, just fucking tell me.

"Why? She hates me. I have nothing to say to her," I snap. Luna winces at that, while Celestia smiles sadly.

"We...I...don't hate thee, Seth," Luna corrects me, dropping the plural for the first time ever. What in the fuck does that mean? "I do not trust thy kind, for reasons discussed previously."

"Yeah, you're smart to distrust us. And as long as there's distrust, there will always be 'animosity,' as Celestia puts it," I tell her flatly. "There's really nothing to say."

"What were we supposed to think, when we sensed both thy magic and our sister's?" Luna continues, ignoring me. She also slipped back into plurals. I guess that couldn't last forever. "We apologize for doubting thee. Twas unknown to us that our sister hath requested to see thy magic."

"Whatever...you done now? I honestly don't care. I'm still pissed at her about that myself," I say impatiently, glancing at Celestia meaningfully.

Luna huffs in frustration. "Must you brush off even the most sincere of apologies?" Hah, holy fuck, is she pouting? That's hilarious.

"Yup. If I expect to be wronged, then no apology is necessary," I confirm. Luna looks at me oddly at that, while Celestia nods, as if she'd expected such a response.

"Thou hast a dark way of looking at things," Luna comments.

"That's funny, coming from the Princess of the Night," I retort.

"Thou appears to be lacking in any kind of respect," Luna returns, though she doesn't seem all that angry about it.

"Just noticed that now, did you?" I remark. There's a slight pause in the conversation there, as Celestia smiles at our interaction, and Luna looks at me as if she's trying to figure me out. "Now then, talk's over. Celestia?"

"Indeed, I suppose it is time. Luna, you should return to bed, I believe," Celestia responds, looking at her sister. Luna glances up at a clock on the wall and sighs.

"Thou art correct. We should not have been awake this early," Luna laments, moving towards the door. Huh. I suppose it makes sense she sleeps during the day, being the princess of the night after all.

"Sleep well, sister," Celestia calls after her sister, and then the door shuts, leaving the two of us in the room together. She looks back at me, but I'm already talking.

"Okay. You. Magic. Spill," I demand in a rather eloquent manner. Celestia chuckles somewhat, and then she turns serious.

"Very well. I shall start with my conclusion, before continuing with my personal recommendations," Celestia declares. "I have determined that you are using dark magic, of a similar variety to the magic used by King Sombra himself."

And there goes my jaw. I had already figured out that it was dark magic of some kind, considering how crazy it makes me, but Sombra used the same kind of magic? That's sickening. I don't want to use any magic that he also used. "Why...how did you come to this conclusion?" I want to hear the reasoning before I event attempt to accept this.

"As you know, my sister and I fought with Sombra at the Crystal Empire. It was there that we came into contact with the full force of his magical strength," Celestia began. "Once you fight against somepony, you will never forget the feeling of their magical composition. Because of that, when I sensed your magic from the forest, I was alarmed, as it felt very similar to Sombra's magic."

"If you suspected that then, why didn't you fetch me then?" I press. I'm shocked as all hell at this revelation. How and why is this magic so similar to that bastard's?

"I initially intended to gather the Elements of Harmony and confront the source of this magic, but I chose not to, upon receiving the incident reports," Celestia admits. "I had not expected the source of magic to be you."

"Don't be soft. If you thought I was anything close to Sombra, you should have killed me without mercy," I berate her, disbelief on my face. "What if I had been Sombra, using that transformation spell again?"

"Please Seth, it is easy for an experienced practitioner of magic to detect when one is using a transformation spell," Celestia admonishes me. "That aside, I was unwilling to harm you. It would be tragic, if you had been killed before you could understand what a wonderful world you're now living in."

"Spare me," I groan, rubbing my forehead. "You have all this power, but you're too nice."

"Do not patronize me, Seth. I have learned when to be lenient, and when to use force," Celestia scolds me, causing me to flinch. I keep forgetting she has thousands of years more experience than me. "Despite what you may think, kindness works far more than force. If I had harmed you, wouldn't I have just been conforming to the human principles that you've come to expect?"

I stare at her incredulously. "You have really got to stop being so damn good at that," I mutter, causing her to giggle. "I swear, is it that if you're old enough, you can fucking read minds?"

"In a manner of speaking. But, continuing on the subject of your magic, I was unsure if it was really dark magic, as the magical ambiance of the Everfree Forest has been known to scramble magical composition in the past," Celestia continues. "Therefore I sent a letter to Twilight Sparkle, asking her for the results of her examinations."

"You knew she would attempt to study me?" I ask, marveling at Celestia's foresight. Again, I see how she's in charge. She's a fucking genius, and has the power the back it up. Nopony can beat her.

Celestia laughs. "I know my student, Seth. There is no way she wouldn't attempt to study an obscure magic such as that. However, her results served to reinforce my suspicions. The composition of your magic, while extremely unstable from a lack of control, was definitely dark magic. It just remained to be seen if it was similar to Sombra's."

"Okay, so then why didn't you come and get me then?"

"I was actually planning to make another trip down to Ponyville, when I heard that you were already in Canterlot," Celestia informs me. "So I sent for you. While I did wish to speak with you about your experiences in Equestria, I then had a second objective: to see your magic myself."

"So you provoked me into letting it loose," I conclude, and then I receive a nod from her. "I don't like that you didn't tell me, but I can see why you didn't. So what did you deduce from seeing it?"

"It is definitely similar to Sombra's. From the magical aura itself to the color change of your eyes, I almost believed I was facing a human version of Sombra himself," Celestia affirms.

"Shit. Well then...why didn't you kill me then, if I was so dangerous?" I demand, still somewhat in shock about all this. "You certainly had the strength."

"Because I am not going to render judgment upon you simply for being unable to control an ancient magic," Celestia explains. "After all, a lack of control can be adjusted, over time."

"I see. But I don't plan on learning to control this magic. I plan on never using it again," I finally tell her resolutely. Celestia pauses, and then looks at me sternly.

"Seth, you must learn to control this magic. It is not something you can ignore," she warns me. What the hell? It sounds like she's telling me I don't have a choice. Fuck you, I always have a choice.

"Like I hell I can't. Besides, I don't have to do what you say. It's my choice, and I choose to ignore it!"

Celestia slams a hoof down. "Then you choose to let Rainbow Dash and Apple Bloom die."

I freeze, and then I glare at her intensely. That sounded suspiciously like a threat. "You'd better explain yourself. Right now." I demand.

"You may not remember, but I told you before that I've seen many ponies succumb to the insanity that this magic brings. You think you are the first one to deny this magic after it has taken residence within your body?" Celestia points out.

"What?"

"If you let it be, the insanity will grow within you, and it will get loose, no matter how hard you try to hold it back. Every time you lose yourself, it will become harder and harder to stop, until it takes your over completely," Celestia continues, and I'm struck speechless. Is this like...holy shit, what is this power, a fucking Inner Hollow? "Then, you will either die from the strain, or your body will adapt to it, and you will become a shell of your former self, sustained only by misery and destruction."

"That's..."

"However, even if you live on, you will still be connected to those you care about. The magic views these bonds as a weakness. Therefore, those that succumb to this magic seek out those they love, and murder them."

"Oh son of a..."

"Would you be content to let this happen to you? Are you okay with knowing that one day it will be your hand that snuffs out the lives of the ponies you care about?" Celestia has been stepping closer and closer this whole time, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Goddammit, fine!" I finally yell, unable to take the mental images that shes inducing. The moment she mentioned that I'd kill Rainbow, all I can see is her broken body through the dark aura of my own magic, and I shudder in horror. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"I'm only looking out for you and your well-being," Celestia assures me, reaching her neck forward and nuzzling my cheek. Dammit, when did she get close enough for that? "I've seen many, many friends die. I wish to save you from that pain."

"I can't fucking understand you. You're not like any human I've ever met. You're...dammit, I can't even," I express in frustration. Celestia beams at that.

"Coming from you, I'll take that as an compliment. Thank you, Seth," she reasons, and I scowl. So I basically just agreed to learn how to use this magic.

"Whatever. So how do you intend to help me with this? I doubt you're willing to stay in Ponyville for a long period of time, and there's no way I'm staying in Canterlot for a similar amount of time," I question.

"Of course, I understand that you wouldn't want to be separated from your friends," Celestia says understandingly. What? That's not what I...ugh, sure, we'll go with that. It has nothing to do with the fact that I fucking hate ponies here. Cadance and Celestia are the only two tolerable ponies I've met since getting here. Well, I could count that Fancy Pants guy, but I don't trust his motives at all.

"So...what's your solution?"

"Hm...I believe that Twilight Sparkle, being the Element of Magic, would be the most suited to helping you learn the basics of magical control," Celestia mentions.

"Oh hell," I groan, already picturing an ecstatic Twilight bouncing around the clearing while I try to use magic.

"But for the more complex applications, such as developing personal techniques, I can assign a member of the Canterlot Royal Unicorn Second Regiment to assist you," Celestia suggests.

"Second Regiment? Okay, I know that the first one does security and defense. The fuck does the second one do?" I inquire, actually curious.

"Oh, the Second Regiment is more magic-oriented. I put them in charge in creating and identifying large scale magical maneuvers, such as healing, barriers, and other protective spells. They also collaborate on finding ways to neutralize the magical weapons of other countries," Celestia explains. Hang on a moment, so they're basically the white mages. "Though when the occasion calls for it, they are very useful in battle."

Nevermind, they are red mages. So I'm getting one of those fuckers to help me out? Great, if the attitude of the ponies I've met in Canterlot so far is anything to go by, it'll probably be some bitch who has it out for me. But, it's either that or eventually kill Rainbow and Apple Bloom. You two are lucky you're worth it.

"Okay then. This is gonna be a drag, but as you put it, I don't have a choice. When do I start?" I say in a resigned manner. It's like I'm going through school all over again, what with learning to read and now learning how to use this fucking magic.

"We can actually start now, if you'd like. I know a certain stallion that would really enjoy having a student, if only for a short time," Celestia offers. I raise an eyebrow. Stallions? They exist? Heh.

"Eh, might as well. As long as it doesn't take all night. I do want to hang with Rainbow some before tomorrow," I say, shrugging.

"Of course. He is a very busy stallion as well, but I'm sure he'll help you out for an hour or so before his next assignment," Celestia assures me with a smile. "If you'll come with me, I'll take you to him."

"Okay, whatever. Lead the way," I tell her. With a satisfied nod, Celestia leads me out of the sitting room and down more hallways that look exactly the same. I don't know how she finds her way around this place. That aside though, I'm hoping this guy I'm going to talk to is actually somewhat sane. I need another male to talk to, instead of having to deal with all this female energy. I'm starting to feel somewhat outnumbered, especially since every fucking pony I talk to is a mare. Ugh.

Honestly, I lose track of how many twists and turns we take, until finally Celestia stops in front of a seemingly random guard, except that his armor is violet as well as gold, and there's a shield emblem with a pink star pinned to his chest. His plume is also a different color, being a darker blue with a streak of cyan running through it, rather than just plain blue.

"Captain, may I have a moment of your time?" Celestia addresses the guard, who snaps to attention immediately. Captain, huh? That's a pretty high rank.

"Of course, your Highness!" the guard responds promptly. Celestia smiles, and then gestures for him to follow her. The three of us continue down the hallway. I glance at the guard, but he won't look at me. He keeps his eyes trained directly ahead. I guess he's pretty well disciplined.

"At ease, Captain. I wanted to speak with you about something rather important," Celestia begins. The guard remains silent, though his posture does relax somewhat. And he's not speaking unless he's asked a question. Yep, this guy's a hardcore soldier. "Would you mind taking some time before your evening patrol to train a magical initiate?"

"Certainly, Princess. However, that does leave my post empty," the captain replied graciously, referring to the empty spot where he'd been standing a few minutes ago.

"You may reassign whomever you see fit," Celestia tells him, and he nods in response.

"If you don't mind me asking, whom will I be instructing? I wasn't aware there were any further graduates this semester," the captain inquires. Nevermind, there's a question. It's still stiff and polite as hell though.

"Oh, I've already brought the initiate in question with us." Celestia finally brings the focus of the conversation back to me, and I resist the urge to rub my forehead. The captain finally looks at me, his bright cyan eyes blinking at me. And then his gaze looks me up and down, before finally turning to Celestia.

"I...understand, Princess. I shall begin immediately, if that is your desire," the captain responds after a few seconds. I detect the small pause in his confirmation. Great...seems like he has some reservations about working with me as well. At least he didn't complain about it. Even so, this is going to suck.

"It is. I'll leave the details to you," Celestia affirms. The captain salutes, earning a smile from her. "Now then, I have put off Day Court long enough. I'll leave you to it. I expect a full report from you when you're finished."

"As you command," the captain replied. Then, with a nod to the both of us, Celestia splits away from us, down a separate hallway. Lovely. The captain looks at me, his expression unchanging. "Come with me."

I shrug and do as I'm told. This guy's pretty high up, so I figure he expects compliance. I mean, I already agreed to this. There's no point in contesting his orders.

The captain seems to lead me out of the castle, but a quick look around the outside area changes that assumption. The afternoon sun blazes down on me as we walk through a small courtyard, in which several other guards, some in armor and some not, are practicing.

The area is mostly grassy, with the bulk of the castle behidn us and a smaller, two story building just across the field. There's two small dirt areas on the far right and far left, in each of which are two armored unicorn guards, practicing their fighting styles with wooden swords and shields. It's interesting how they're using magic to carrying their weapons.

Forgive me if I'm going on a tangent, but I find their fighting styles interesting. They're doing very little actual movement of their limbs, apart from dodging and weaving. Their shields and swords, however, move like whirlwinds. They circle around one another, avoiding slashes and stabs by moving their heads or blocking with their shields, neither one of them giving any ground. I'd stay and watch more, but the captain is still moving.

There are archers in this area as well, firing their bows with magic into straw targets set up in a makeshift archery range. All the combat training aside, there's also some guards just hanging out in groups without armor, talking and laughing with one another.

As we pass them, they glance over at us, giving me a curious glance and then greeting their captain with polite waves and calls. The captain acknowledges them all with simple nods. I suppose he's technically still on duty, so he can't be overly casual.

The two of us enter the building, which I now understand is a guard barracks. Unfortunately, I don't get to see much of the interior, because I'm led down a staircase just inside the door down into a wide open room underground.

This looks like another training room, with constructions similar to those outside, built along the walls. So you get stuff like pony mannequins, archery ranges, and weapon racks. But there's also a lot of empty space.

Finally, the captain comes to a halt. He proceeds to take off his helmet, revealing a navy blue mane with streaks of cyan running through it. The way his mane settles around his neck reminds me of somepony, but I can't quite recall who. Agh, it's going to bug me now.

He turns his head to face me, and then he smiles, showing the first fucking emotion since I've seen him. "Hey, sorry about ignoring you back there. Gotta keep up appearances while on duty," he tells me amiably.

"Doesn't bother me. I know how military types are supposed to act," I reply, a bit relieved that he's not actually a robot. Maybe he won't actually hate me as well.

"That's good to hear," he says, nodding, and then he extends a gauntleted hoof to me. "My name is Shining Armor, Captain of the Canterlot Royal Unicorn First Regiment."

Well now, he's a great deal more important than I thought. I had assumed he'd be around the level of captain rank in human terms, which is about halfway up the ladder. I guess not, if he controls the force of ponies in charge of security and defense. Though I swear to god, if I find out later that there's thirteen regiments, I'm calling him Yamamoto forever.

I take the hoof that is offered to me and shake it. "Seth Rogers. That's one hell of a title you got there," I comment, earning a laugh from Shining Armor.

"Heh, it is quite a mouthful, huh? Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you. I heard a human was in town, but it's a bit surreal to see you for myself," Shining Armor admits with a sheepish grin, withdrawing his hoof. I resist the temptation to roll my eyes. Yes, I know I'm the equivalent of the Romans to you ponies. I'm getting quite tired of hearing it.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. So, you're teaching me how to magic, right?" I say, cutting right to the point.

"For about an hour or two, yes. I must admit, I'm rather interested to see what kind of magic you can use. I doubt the books were very accurate," Shining Armor responds, sitting down on his haunches.

"That's because they weren't," I snort derisively. "I haven't read them myself, but I heard that they over hyped our 'magical potential.' You know, the one we don't usually have."

"Ah, so you're the first of your kind to use magic?" Seems like Shining Armor is pretty sharp. It took me several attempts to make Twilight believe that.

"That's right. And it's not really even unique magic," I confirm. It would be awesome if I had magic no other pony had ever attempted. Of course, it would also be nice if my magic wasn't trying to kill me. "Which makes me wonder how strong you are, if Celestia believes you can handle this. If I lose control again, I might attack you."

"I have the utmost faith in Princess Celestia. If she believes I am fit for this task, then I am willing to to trust in her," Shining Armor tells me proudly. "In addition, she appears to trust you, so I will also trust you."

I stare at him in disbelief at that statement. How can anybody have that kind of faith in their government? You're willing to trust a complete unknown simply because they do? "I wish I could have that kind of faith," I mutter.

"Pardon?" Shining Armor asks.

"It's nothing. Shall we get started then?" I say, ready to start taming this magic. Shining Armor looks at me oddly, but then decides to respect my silence and nods.

"Indeed. Now then, during training, keep in mind that I will not be going easy on you," Shining Armor warns me. I blink. What does that mean? Does that mean he plans to fight me? "I will treat you as if you were one of my soldiers. Therefore, know that everything I say to you during this session is meant to drive you, and not in any way a personal attack against you."

Did...did he just give me a fucking disclaimer? Oh dear, Celestia handed me off to what equates to a magical drill sergeant. Fuck me, right?

---

Author's Note:

So, before I even mention the chapter, I got a review on the from a guy who told me that he went from hating ponies, to being indifferent about them, after reading this story.

...

I feel so fucking accomplished right now. I don't even care.

Anyhow, so you're probably all wondering, why is the training happening now? Isn't he already overpowered as fuck? Yes and no. I'll get into that next chapter, but I do want to mention that I've gotten some feedback from others expressing dissatisfaction with how overpowered he became, as well as the sudden change in personality. This is intentional, I am not just a one dimensional Dragon Ball Z fan attempting to write a pony fanfiction. You know, it's not just Seth + Darkness = Vegeta.

Secondly, I had somebody complain about my use of present tense. This...is actually a valid point. Despite the fact that it's a journal, I chose present tense because I believe it takes you into the mind of the character, as well as the scene itself, in a much more immersive sense. Though I am considering changing it all to past tense, I will remain using present until I complete the rough draft of this story...which is what I'm working on right now.

Lastly, I appreciate every review, but I'd also like to respond to any questions or comments you make. That being said, if you'd like a response to your questions, please make or log in to an account.

Anyhow, as always, please leave a review and help me out with your feedback :D

"Now then. Ordinarily, if this were a typical training session, I'd start us off with some basic magical endurance exercises," Shining Armor dictates, walking back and forth in front of me in an official manner. "After all, it is best to determine exactly how much magical power we have to work with."

"Apparently a fucking lot," I remark, remembering how easily I'd taken care of that Scorpios that one day. Shining Armor doesn't appear to care, however, as he stares at me until I realize that he doesn't want to be interrupted. Right...drill sergeant. At least he isn't yelling at me.

"Unfortunately, we don't have the time to wait for your energy to recharge after such exercises, nor am I available to instruct you after this particular lesson," Shining Armor informs me. "However, at the very least, I would like to instruct you in their procedures, so that you may do them on your own time."

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Seems straightforward enough.

"Pay attention. We are not performing these exercises. First and foremost, exhibit your magic, and show me how well you can control it," Shining Armor commands. I even think he scolded me a bit in there. Goddamn, this is going to be a pain.

Okay, so how did I release my magic with Celestia? I understand she pissed me off, but that kind of release had me trying to murder her. There has to be some other way I can release it. Twilight mentioned something about my magical core. That's in my chest, and I can still feel the magic pulsing gently behind my sternum. It's a weird feeling, like there's a very thick bubble there that keeps changing in size. I don't usually notice unless I'm focusing on it, like now, or if I angry enough to where it wants to come out.

"We're wasting time, Rogers!" Shining Armor warns me. Great, and now I'm being rushed. Also, did he just fucking call me by my last name only? Nobody does that. I don't think I've ever been called like that.

I tap my sternum in that area in a futile attempt to burst that bubble. There has to be a way to do this without getting angry. According to Celestia it depends on anger to bring forth that insanity, and I don't want that. I might kill this guy, since I doubt he's anywhere close to Celestia's level.

"You're not going to have this kind of time during a battle," Shining Armor points out. I grit my teeth in frustration. Shut the fuck up, I know that. I got lucky back then, that's all. Dammit, this is my magic. It should do what I want. It wants to control me? Sucks to be it, I'm too obstinate to let that happen.

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, and then I push mentally with all my might against my magical core. Almost immediately, I hear and feel the roar of magical power rushing through my core and disrupting the air around me. The ground cracks beneath my feet as magical power swirls around me. Opening my eyes, I am greeted by a strange fucked up field of vision. Like, everything I see is fucking green. Lime green, with purple tinges on the edge. I can also see my arteries.

"Wow, this is fucked up," I comment. This is actually the first time I've seen this while being in control of my mental facilities. "Everything is green."

Shining Armor doesn't let me look at myself for very long. "That's too much! Are you trying to drain yourself before you even get started!?" he bellows at me over the roar of my magic. I look up at him, my eyes narrowing, and a twisted grin forming on my face.

"Is that what you truly think? Or are you just trembling in...argh...dammit," I say, clutching my face. It's really hard to stay in control. I can feel the insanity there, and if I stop focusing for even an instant, it comes forth. Thankfully, it has a tell. The closer it gets, the more pain I feel. If I suppress it, the pain goes away. "Ignore that...it's difficult to control. How do I use less magic?"

"Control the flow passing through your magical core. Think of the core as a funnel; it's up to you to control the size of that funnel!" Shining Armor advises me, ignoring my burst of insanity obligingly.

Hm, that actually seems like a good mental image. I understand that controlling magic is mostly mental, if the old books I used to read are accurate (which they weren't at the time, but it gives me a decent basis to go off of). Mental images should work in some form or fashion.

I picture one of those adjustable funnels getting slimmer and slimmer, and I feel it coming into effect on my magic. I continue picturing this until the hole at the end of the funnel is small indeed. When I open my eyes again, the magical aura around me is much fainter than before, appearing as a kind of smoky wind circling around me, instead of a roaring black inferno.

"Much better. Now then, your magic feels stable to me, so I'm going to assume that this is your base. The term 'base' refers to the lowest amount of magical power one can emit with shutting the flow entirely," Shining Armor explains. "In the future, I'd like you to practice staying in at base for as long as you can, preferably on a daily basis. Once you can stay in this form without spending too much magical power, take it up a notch. These are the basic endurance exercises that every unicorn goes through."

So basically hold my Super Saiya...I mean magic for as long as I can. Funny little joke there. Yeah, my brother and I watched the shit out of that show. Anyhow, moving on.

"Next, I'd like to see how well you can regulate the flow of your magic during basic combat maneuvers," Shining Armor dictates. His horn lights up with a gentle magenta, and two logs float over to us from a small pile in one corner. Seemingly spending no effort, Shining arranges the logs so that they are standing on end, one on top of the other. Now it's a construct that's about as tall as I am. "Break the upper log, but do not damage the lower one."

Okay, this reminds me a lot of Blue Exorcist. Only there's logs instead of candles. Whatever. This should be simple enough. I remember having overwhelming power back when I fought the Scorpios, so breaking a log should be easy.

Striding up to the logs, I pivot my right shoulder back, and them slam my fist into the upper log, fully expecting the log to shatter. Instead, pain shoots through my fist and I recoil. "Fuck! What the hell?" I curse, glaring at the unharmed log, and then at my hand, which the darkness is currently swirling around. Where'd all that ridiculous power go?

"I said regulate your power, not completely suppress it! How are you supposed to break through a dam with but a trickle?!" Shining Armor snaps at me. I scoff.

"What are you talking about? I'm in my base form or whatever! How am I supposed to stay in base form and still harness enough power to do anything?" I demand, annoyed.

"Think, Rogers! I told you to go to your base for one reason. Tell me what that is?" Shining Armor returns, unperturbed by my reaction. For some reason, he's not harping on me for a lack of respect. Hopefully it stays that way. A typical drill sergeant would tell you to "watch your tone" or some shit.

"Because I'd drain myself dry before actually doing any real damage," I state dully. I feel like I'm being schooled like a damn freshman. You gotta love being made to feel like an idiot.

"That's right. But how are you to inflict any damage by only releasing a miniscule amount of magic?" Shining Armor points out. He has a point. There must be some trick to doing this.

"All right, let's try this again," I grunt. It would do wonders for my ego if I could rediscover that crushing power I'd shown before.

I rush back at the logs, releasing my full magic power once more, darkness erupting from the ground around my feet with a roar. The magic wreathes my body in a malevolent light, and this time, as I draw my fist back, I'm sure I'll obliterate that fucking log.

My fist rams into the log again...and this time it only cracks. An incredulous and frustrated huff escapes my lips. "Are you kidding me right now? I ripped a scorpion thing limb from limb, and now I can't even break a damn log?"

"Better, but you're not focusing your magic! What's the point of concentrating your magic on your whole body if all you're going to use is your fist?" Shining Armor critiques me, and I recognize the sense in his words. Despite that sense, I growl in frustration. I kicked ass before...it's bullshit that I can't do so now.

"Okay, genius. How do I focus my magic?" I retort, powering back down to my base. I'm getting annoyed with the way he's treating me. I mean, he said he was going to be like this, but that doesn't mean it's not pissing me off. It seems like every time I make progress, he's yelling at me about something else.

"Concentrate. Feel the magic within you. By definition, magic is an extension of your own spiritual being. You are your own magic. Calm yourself and reach within your being; the magic will respond naturally to your will," Shining Armor coaches me. He demonstrates by lifting a hoof, which begins to glow magenta.

Well, that tells me a grand amount of nothing. He basically just told me, "Nah bro, it's fine. You just have to want to." Of course I fucking want to do this. If I'm going to learn magic, I want to be awesome. Why can't I get some bullshit Deus Ex Machina powers or something?

After standing there with my eyes shut and straining like a dumb fuck, I come to a conclusion. Mental pictures are what have gotten me this far. Maybe I'll use another one to help me through this.

My eyes narrow, and my power blasts out of me again, only this time, a large amount of it is concentrated around my right fist. With a grunt of exertion, I hit the log again, and this time, an explosion of darkness and green electricity ensues at the point of impact. "Yeah, take it, you dumb log!" I cry exultantly as pieces of the log scatter across the floor, charred black from the magic.

Shining Armor glances at my handiwork, unimpressed. Just as I'm about to yell at him, I notice him staring pointedly at something in front of me. I turn, and then I almost faceplant on the ground like an overreacting anime character.

I broke the lower log as well, which I was specifically told not to break. Fuck this...

---

The next two hours feel like eternity. Shining Armor doesn't give me even a moment to rest. He's a harsh taskmaster, that's for sure. I get one word compliments when I do well (which isn't often) and harsh berating when I fuck up.

That aside, I do discover a few things. It turns out I don't know how to do all the techniques I'd used before while the magic controlled me, like the fast movement and rifle attacks. So basically I'm nowhere near the level I had been when I'd fought Celestia.

I don't get a chance to try and learn them back during this training session either, as Shining Armor is intent on seeing me learn how to fully control my magic. He has me do several exercises like the one with the logs, where I have to destroy one thing, but not another. Other times he orders me to concentrate my magic in strange places, like my foot or my chest.

"Magic is defensive as well as offensive, all at the same time. Wherever you concentrate your magic, you'll find that you'll take less damage in that area," Shining Armor explains, after I question his methods. Well, I guess that explains how Celestia's laser didn't blast right through me.

---

By the end of the two hours, I'm completely drained of magic, having used every bit of it in my attempts to learn how to use it. I'm currently resting on all fours on the ground after a particularly bad fuck up, sweat pouring down my brow.

"All right, we'll stop here. You're coming along nicely, Seth," Shining Armor says after a moment of regarding me. I notice he's calling my by my first name again. His tone is also more amiable. I guess he switched off his drill sergeant mode. "We'll make a unicorn out of you yet...er...so to speak."

"Hah...goddamn, I'm tired as hell," I gasp, pressing a hand to my chest. My heart is racing, as if I'd just come off of a treadmill. Shining chuckles, and then he offers me a hoof to help me rise. I take it gratefully and climb to my feet. "So how long does it usually take for all of my magic to come back?

"It really depends on how much magical power you have. You actually have a great deal of power at your disposal, as well as a deep level of potential you haven't touched upon yet," Shining Armor analyzes, giving me an approving look. "In your case, I'd say you can use your magic again in a few hours."

"Oh. Well I shouldn't need it anyway," I reply, nonplussed. So he says I can be really strong. I wonder what it would be like if I'd had this power back in my time. I think I'd be unstoppable, if I could use magic to buff myself defensively.

"Right. Now then, I have a patrol to run, so it's time I escort you out of here," Shining Armor tells me regretfully. I figured as much. Being one of the top members of the military must keep you busy, after all.

"All right, lead the way." He and I depart the guard barracks the same way we came in. Walking back through the courtyard, I glance up at the sky, noting that the sun is past its zenith. So if I had to guess, I'd say it's around two or three in the afternoon.

Shining Armor leads me to the doorway leading back into the castle interior before stopping. "It seems I must take my leave of you. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop," the captain expresses with a friendly smile. "Make sure you do those endurance exercises I told you about."

"Yeah, okay. Have fun doing your patrol or whatever," I tell him. With a nod, Shining Armor goes back towards the barracks, leaving me alone. Huh. I guess he's not all that bad. Bit of a prick while training me, but he gave me a disclaimer for that. I think I like the military, if I just get treated like another soldier and they don't attempt to be my friends.

As I walk back into the castle, I realize I have nothing left on my agenda. Finally. Now where the fuck is Rainbow? I would like to spend the rest of today with her, if possible. I walk into castle, intent on finding the way out.

I take about five turns before I realize I'm completely lost again. Goddammit, fuck this castle's design. How long do ponies have to work here before they figure out where everything is?

"Seth?" Upon hearing my name, I turn my head to see Cadance trotting towards me, smiling. Great...here comes miss carbon copy of Twilight.

"Didn't you have some diplomatic meeting or something to be at?" I groan. God forbid I get out of the fucking castle without meeting anypony I know.

"I do, yes, but the negotiations don't occur until later this afternoon," Cadance answers. She comes to a halt just in front of me. I notice with a slight wince that the fact that she's even near me is causing the other ponies walking through the halls to notice me. They're all giving me strange looks as they pass us. "Anyway, I was actually hoping to run into you before you left the castle."

"Why? What do you want?" I say tiredly, not really in the mood for conversation. I'm still wiped from the training.

"Do you enjoy listening to music?" Cadance inquires, somewhat randomly in my opinion. Where the hell did that come from?

"Hell yes I do," I reply truthfully. Good musicians were the only humans apart from my friends and family that I actually respected, as their creativity and skill spoke to me on an emotional level. Hell, I used to play the piano as well. I fucking love music. That's why I always wore headphones with me wherever I went. You have no idea how sorely I'm missing my usual soundtrack. "Why?"

"Good! You see, the Royal Canterlot Orchestra is performing late tonight at the Grand Theater, and I was wondering if you'd like to go see them with me," Cadance offers. I blink once. Then twice. Did the fucking Princess of Love just ask me out? What the...that's fucking sudden. Not to mention unwelcome. I open my mouth to tell her exactly what I think of her offer, and then I stop. Perhaps I should make sure that's actually what she's after.

"Why would you ask me? You hardly know me," I demand, hoping that I'm just misinterpreting this. Rejecting a princess could go very wrong, very fast.

"Well, I was going to go with my coltfriend, but he's busy with the guard tonight, so I have an extra ticket," Cadance explains, levitating two silver tickets in the air just in front of me. Wait, coltfriend? Is that...oh thank god, she's not asking me out. That would have been bad. I mean, I assume coltfriend is the pony equivalent of boyfriend.

Even so, I'm not going. Royal Canterlot Orchestra? It sounds like it would be a blast to go see them, since I love a good orchestral piece as well, but it also sounds super expensive. I'm not letting her give me a free pass in. I don't care what her reasons are.

"That still doesn't answer my question," I point out. I literally just met you today. Why hand me a ticket worth who knows how much? There's no way I'm her second choice after her boyfriend. "There must be a million other ponies you know better to invite. Why me?"

"You're right that I don't know you very well. That's part of the reason I'm asking you. After all, you're only in Canterlot for a few days, right?" Cadance answers candidly. She glances around, and upon noticing that we're standing in the middle of the hallway, she beckons to me with a hoof. Where the hell are we going?

"So on a whim, you ask a random stranger that just happens to be a human," I reiterate as we walk down the hallway. "I don't buy it."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure that this invitation has nothing to do with the fact that I'm human? Or that it might be beneficial to you to have a human in your debt?" I accuse her. Cadance looks appalled at the suggestion.

"What? Of course not!" she protests, looking flustered. I can tell that's bullshit, so I narrow my eyes at her. "I mean...I'll be honest. You're human, yes, and that's fascinating. As a history nut, I want to know more about you, but can you really blame me? Ponies have only heard of you in stories or legends. Is it so wrong to be curious about the species upon which most of our culture is based?"

"We're really going to do this right now?" I say, rubbing my forehead. I'm really not in the mood for a fucking sermon. Cadance doesn't back down, though. "Dammit, what a pain in the ass. Look, I'm not talking about my kind, and there's nothing you can say to change my mind. So you can take your ticket and..."

"Wait, do you think I invited you out only because you're human?" Cadance interrupts me before I can finish my rude statement. I nod at that. Cadance sighs. "That's not what I meant. I respect that you don't want to talk about humans, so I won't pry. However, you shouldn't judge me for being curious."

"Get to the point."

"There's more to somebody than just their species. I want to get to know you as an individual, as you seemed like you have a lot to say back in the garden," Cadance continues. As she keeps talking, I'm looking at her suspiciously. The things she's saying sound good, but I'm not entirely sure if she means them. Cadance looks at me and smiles. "I should be allowed to make a friendly gesture without being judged for it."

"You certainly talk a good game, I'll give you that," I admit. I'm beginning to understand why she handles matters of diplomacy, especially if she can speak logic to strangers like she is to me. "But tickets to a fucking royal orchestra seem like they'd be expensive. I don't have the money to pay you back, and I certainly don't want to be in your debt."

"Oh, I didn't pay for these," Cadance reveals. I blink and look at her oddly. You're going to tell me that tickets are free too? That's bullshit and you can't convince me otherwise. Cadance giggles at the look on my face. "I won them in a raffle at the restaurant where I ate lunch today."

Apparently it's not bullshit. Welp, I feel like an idiot. But wait, something else doesn't make sense. "At a restaurant? Doesn't the castle have private kitchens? Why the hell would you eat elsewhere?"

"Yes, we do have kitchens, but sometimes I want something simpler. Our chefs have a tendency to make every dish a gourmet meal," Cadance admits with a grin. "I frequent a small sandwich place in the outer edges of Canterlot, and this time I got lucky. Free tickets, can you imagine?"

"Huh. Well, if they're free..." Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret this? "I guess I'll go. When is it?"

Cadance makes a little "squee" sound (I swear, if I keep hearing that fucking sound, I'm going to start using it as a verb) and passes one of the tickets to me with her magic "Yes! You'll enjoy this, I promise. The orchestra is amazing. All the details are printed on the ticket itself."

I look down at the ticket. It's made of a slick silver material that I can't identify, and on it is inscribed a bunch of small letters. Which reminds me. I look up at her with a deadpan expression on my face. "Cadance," I start. "I can't read."

"Oh! My apologies, I didn't mean to assume," Cadance gasps sheepishly. She looks down at her own ticket and starts reading the details off to me. "Admit one, VIP seating. The concert starts at eight pm tonight at the Canterlot Grand Theater."

"Thank you. Well then, I guess I'll show up. I hope they're as good as you're making them out to be," I remark, annoyed that once again I had to be read to. The second I get back to Ponyville, I'm setting up appointments with Cheerilee.

"They're better. I just know you'll love them," Cadance responds gleefully. Just as that conversation comes to an end, I notice we're just passing by the front entrance to the castle. This'll be a good opportunity to get back to the city. I want to find Rainbow. It's odd, but I feel like it's too quiet when she's not around.

"Yeah, let's hope so. Anyway, I'm leaving now. I've still got some time to kill before this concert," I express. Cadance stops walking as well, turning to look at me.

"All right. I should be getting ready for the meeting, myself," Cadance replies. With a nod, she turns back the other direction and starts walking away. "Meet me here tonight then?"

"Sure, whatever. Make sure the guards know to let me in." I reply, and then the two of us part ways. She heads down a hallway that leads deeper into the castle, and I walk through the castle gates and back out onto the drawbridge.

Once I pass through the front gates, I'm back in the city proper. The next thing I want to do is find Rainbow. I have no idea where she is, though.

Turns out I don't have to look at all. I'm only walking for a few seconds before a rainbow flash descends from the sky and lands on the ground just in front of me. That makes things easier. "Sup, Rainbow?" I remark, but then I notice that she looks rather worried. Like, really worried. To the point of being slightly angry.

"Seth! There you are. What in the hay were you doing up there?!" Rainbow demands frantically, stepping closer to me.

"Uh...talking to the princess? I told you about that, remember?" I remind her, crossing my arms. Tell me she's not going to be like Twilight and get all pissed because I took longer than expected.

"I know that! I'm talking about that spectacle all the way up the mountain! The entire city could see that!" Rainbow snaps. She seems to be calming down slightly now that she's seen me.

"Really? And what makes you think that was me?" I ask, just for the sake of curiosity. Rainbow does a little growl at that, but to me it just seems overly cute.

"I'm not stupid, Seth. I was there in the forest. I know what your magic looks like!" she tells me accusingly.

"Yeah, you got me. What's the big deal though? As you can see, I'm fine," I say, shrugging. Rainbow's expression grows angry, and for a moment, I think she's about to hit me. Thankfully she doesn't.

"What's the big deal?!" Rainbow yells, but then she forces herself to calm down, letting out a sigh. "I thought you were in trouble...but I couldn't get to you. The pegasus guards wouldn't let me get close."

While she says that last sentence, she lowers her head, looking a little forlorn. Hold up, she tried to fly to me during that whole fight? She'd have gotten herself killed, especially since I was insane at the time. But...I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the thought. Just like Luna rushed to her sister's assistance, Rainbow was trying to rush to mine...just like...agh, I shouldn't over think this. She was probably just...actually, I don't see a single reason why she would rush headlong into certain death for my sake. Rainbow...I don't know if you're genuine or not, but thank you.

Of course, I'm an ass. So instead of saying something grateful, I decide to tease her. "What, were you worried? How sweet."

Rainbow shoves me backwards, but not overly hard. I can't help but laugh. "N...not a chance! I just wanted to make sure you weren't making a fool out of yourself in front of the royalty," she protests, but I can tell she's lying, and it's funny as hell. "But seriously, what the hay happened? Were you fighting somepony?"

"Yeah, actually, and it's one hell of a story," I confirm. For a few seconds, I debate on whether or not to tell her. Eh, fuck it. She's supposed to be my friend, after all. I tend to be slightly less lazy in the presence of friends. "Want to hear it?"

"Heck yeah I do!" is her expected response.

---

So, standing there a few meters away from the gate, I tell Rainbow the full story. Though I skip over most of the bullshit parts, like dealing with Elegant and the guard.

Rainbow's eyes become wider than fucking dinner plates when I give her the rundown of the fight between Celestia and I. I leave out most of the details, because I'm not comfortable telling her anything about Janna, because she'll probably do that thing again where she'll force me to tell her about it. I do tell her about the things I supposedly said while insane, like how I wanted to take Celestia's throne. Rainbow pays rapt attention to me the whole time I'm talking.

"That's crazy...I mean, you did act rather nuts when you were fighting the Scorpios, but I didn't think you'd say such crazy things," Rainbow gasps after I finish describing the fight.

"You're telling me. I'm too lazy to run a country," I remark. That causes her to roll her eyes.

"You're sure you got that magic under control?" Rainbow asks me, giving me an uncertain look. What, is she going to abandon me if I say no?

"Pretty sure. I can turn it on and off at will now, and still remain in control of my mental facilities," I assure her. Rainbow heaves a relieved sigh.

"That's good. I remember it hurting you a lot when I saw you use it," she expresses, and then she smiles at last. Wait, that's what she's worried about?

"Really? That's all you're going to say? You'd think you'd be a bit more freaked out by the fact that I attacked your princess."

"You said yourself, you weren't in control. Besides, a little dark magic isn't going to take down Celestia. It's no surprise you lost so badly," Rainbow explains reasonably.

"I suppose. Anyway, Celestia is sending a trainer or something back with us to Ponyville. Some pony from the 2nd Unicorn Regiment or whatever the fuck they call it," I respond. Rainbow's being very chill about all of this. You'd think she'd either get super pissed or afraid that I attacked her princess. Or you know, worried about the fact that I could possibly kill her without warning if I lose control.

"Oh sweet! That sounds awesome!" Rainbow reacts. Seconds later, a grin crosses her face. "Wait, you said that you were fighting with Celestia in midair. Does that mean you can fly?"

"I mean, I think so. Since regaining control, I can't remember how to do any of my techniques. Maybe I'll eventually be able to," I say pensively. I can't help but get a little excited, thinking of how it would feel to just soar in the sky. Humans have been dreaming of flight since our conception. That's why we have airplanes and such.

"Yeah! You need to remember, and then you can come flying with me!" Rainbow exclaims happily, her body perking up.

"Yeah, okay. Learning how is the difficult part," I remind her. This doesn't dampen her enthusiasm, however. By that, I mean she promptly takes to the air and executes a few random twirls in the air while whooping. "Why are you so excited, anyway? Don't you have other pegasus friends you can fly with? Like Fluttershy, for example."

"Fluttershy? Are you kidding me? She's one of my best friends and all, but she can't really keep up with me," Rainbow brags, swooping back down and hovering just next to me. "Neither can most pegasi, for that matter. I am the fastest flier in Equestria!"

And she's bragging again. I hate it when she does that. Part of me is hoping that if I do learn to fly, I can get faster than her just so I can knock her ego down a few notches.

"Right, you said that already. Except for the Wingbolts, or whatever they're called," I grunt. I'm fairly certain I fucked up their name.

"It's the Wonderbolts, Seth. They're the coolest flying team to ever exist!" Oh god, why did I mention them...every time I do, it sets Rainbow off into fangirl mode. Suddenly, Rainbow gasps. "That reminds me! I need to show you the Wonderbolts Gift Shop!"

"Ugh, I suppose you won't be happy until I agree," I groan, though it's halfhearted at best. She's been wanting to go there with me since the moment I invited her to the city. It's not like it'll cost me anything. "All right, I assume you know the way."

"Yeah, now you're talking!" Rainbow exults, and then she takes off the other direction. It takes her about five seconds before she realizes that I can't keep up with her speed. She touches back down on the ground and falls back to my pace, looking sheepish. "Sheesh, you need to learn to fly already."

"Oh, I'm sorry if I'm too slow for you," I retort sarcastically. "I didn't think I'd be living in a land of magical ponies, so I didn't really exercise that much."

"That settles it! When we get back to Ponyville, you're going with me on my daily runs," Rainbow declares.

"Can we not do that? Your runs are brutal," I complain, remembering how I'd been winded in half a second the last time she and I went on a run.

"No they're not, you're just weak!" Rainbow teases, jabbing a hoof at me. She and I start walking through the Canterlot streets. She walks slightly in front of me so she can lead the way to this gift shop or whatever.

"Everyone is weak compared to you, miss Hercules," I shoot back, realizing only a moment later that she probably has no idea who Hercules is.

"Miss what?" Yup, that's what I thought.

"Skip it. The point is, it's not really fair to use such an exemplary example as yourself as the standard for who's weak and who's strong," I explain. Rainbow blinks, confused.

"Uh, I don't really get it, but you're calling me strong, right?"

"Oh for the...yes!" Despite my annoyed tone, I can't help but chuckle at this whole exchange. Rainbow joins in as well. And this is why I wanted to spend time with her. It's never boring.

After a pause, I decide to bite the bullet and ask. After all, I need to know something about these Wonderbolts if I'm going to a shop dedicated to them. Let's just hope I don't regret it.

"So, I've been meaning to ask. You keep talking about these Wonderbolts, but what exactly are they?" I start. Rainbow's face lights up, and she opens her mouth. "And before you start, keep it succinct. I'm not looking for a Twilight lecture like you did last time."

"Uh, you did not just compare me to Twilight," Rainbow deadpans, her brow set in a flat expression.

"I did. What're you gonna do about it?" I tease her. Rainbow gives me a sideways look, and then points a hoof at me.

"Watch yourself. I'm going to prank the hay out of you when you're not expecting it," she warns me. Oh yeah, I still need to get her back for waking me up by suffocation the morning we traveled to this city.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. So, Wonderbolts?"

"They're only the coolest team of fliers ever! It's a widely known fact that only the best of the best get into the Wonderbolts, because they're Equestria's best..." Rainbow begins, but I cut her off impatiently.

"Rainbow, I get it. They're the best fliers. But what are they? Stunt fliers?"

"Uh...not really. They're more than that. I heard they're mostly military, but I don't really know the details," Rainbow admits. I look at her in disbelief.

"So you're a huge fan of them, but you don't really know a thing about them, do you?" I can't help but laugh at that contradiction. Rainbow immediately becomes indignant.

"You know what? Just because of that, I'm buying a Wonderbolts history book at the gift shop!" she shoots back.

"Knock yourself out." I say uncaringly. Rainbow glares daggers at me for a few seconds before she loses her composure and chuckles.

I guess I'm going to this gift shop. Sounds like a total snore fest to me, but I don't really have anything else to do until tonight. I might as well humor her.

---

Author's Note:

Okay, this one took me a bit longer because I turned 21 on the 14th and did absolutely no writing that weekend. For reasons I don't need to mention. Also writers block happened.

So, now you see why Seth needs training. He's forgotten everything! Just how Hollow Ichigo from Bleach knew how to use Ichigo's techniques more than he himself could, the same thing applies to Seth's magic. While the insanity had hold of him, the techniques came naturally to him. But, that never lasts. So here's the training you all wanted. There will be plenty more of that as well.

Also, in case you hadn't noticed, Martial Law is my go to theme for Canterlot. It fits the city so well, I can't stop linking to it.

Lastly, before I wrap this up, I noticed that my youtube links keep getting nuked. I had to go back and fix one just today. That being said, if you come across any links that lead to blocked youtube videos, let me know through a PM or comment so I can fix them.

As always, leave a comment and tell me what you think!

"So, I may or may not be going to see the Royal Canterlot Orchestra tonight at eight," I mention off hand to Rainbow as we continue on our way. I think we're starting to enter a more festive district of Canterlot, if that's even the right way to describe it. For example, when the path takes us close to the edge of the mountainside, I can see a set of bleachers built into the rock, overlooking a cloudy track. Yeah, a track made of clouds. Fucking magic blows my mind.

That aside, there's other sporting areas, like I even spot a tennis court, with several ponies knocking a ball around inside. How do they even hold the rackets...oh, with their mouth. Or magic. I see some of them using magic as well.

"Huh? Why are you going there?" Rainbow questions, raising an eyebrow. "You don't seem like the type that likes that kind of music."

"Why, because you've only seen me listening to Vinyl's stuff?" I argue. Rainbow blinks, realizing her error. "I like music in general. I used to listen to it every chance I had, back in my time."

"How? Did you have a band following you around? Or were you carrying a record player around with you?" Right, they don't have many forms of storing music electronically. I bet record players is all they have, so any music they hear has to come from an artist. I think I'll amaze her a bit.

"Right, I haven't shown this to you yet," I remark, slipping my hand into my pocket. Rainbow watches with curiosity as I fish out my phone, which I haven't actually looked at in forever. I pass it to her carefully. "Here."

Our progress stops when Rainbow takes the phone with a hoof, since she can't exactly walk well with three legs. "Oh yeah, I think I remember seeing you with this thing. What is it?" she asks, turning it over between her hooves. Her hoof slides along a soft plastic edge, so she nearly drops it.

"Careful with that," I warn her as she sheepishly gets a better grip on it. I'm not all that worried about it though. It's got an expensive otter-box on it. It's not breaking. How do you think it's stayed in one piece through all the shit I've been through? "It's probably the most advanced piece of human technology your kind has ever seen."

"Wow, really? This is human technology? Do you know how much this would probably sell for?" Rainbow exclaims, peering closely at the phone. "You'd be set for life!"

"Don't I know it," I chuckle dryly. Of course, there's no way in hell I'm selling the phone. I'm keeping it until I die. Whenever that is. "Do you know what's even better?"

Rainbow looks on in awe as I reach over her hoof and hold down the home button, such that the little Apple logo appears, along with the loading bar. "Whoa," Rainbow murmurs, amazed.

"Yeah, it still works," I remark. In my head, I have no idea why I'm doing this. I'd resolved never to turn my phone on in order to save the charge, but for some reason I have no qualms powering it up to show Rainbow. It looks like there's about 40% battery left. As long as I turn it off again right after this, it should last for a few months.

"And you're showing me? This...is awesome," Rainbow whispers. Her head cranes back when the apple goes away, to be replaced by the lock screen. "Huh? What are all these markings?"

"Arabic numerals. It makes sense you can't read them, seeing as they haven't been used for three thousand years," I answer. Again reaching over her shoulder, I tap in my four digit password. "It's a security screen. If you don't type in the right code, you can't access the phone."

"Phone?"

"That's what it's called. It's a phone."

"What does it do? What are all these little boxes?" Rainbow questions as the home screen pops up.

"They're called applications. Each one has it's own unique function. Primarily, a phone is used to contact other people. Like a letter, only you're actually talking to them in real time, just like you and I are doing now," I explain further, while still inwardly questioning why I'm even doing this. I don't like talking about my race, something I've said to everypony, like Twilight, Cadance, and Cheerilee. So why am I breaking that resolution for Rainbow?

"Whoa, so like telepathy or something?"

"Close enough. But that's not all it does. Take a look at this." As Rainbow looks on, I scroll over one page. I'm not the kind of guy to have all these dumb games or apps on his phone, like Angry Birds or Candy Crush, or other such useless shit. I can't express how much I hate games like that. So because of that, I only have a page and a half of apps. Most of them are utilitarian in nature, like navigation programs, alarm clock, compass, bus tracker, calculator, you get the picture. Literally the only things I have on there for fun is a fanfiction app and of course, my music app. That last one is what I click on. "This is what I wanted to show you. I have hundreds of songs on this particular application. Touch something."

"How does something this small hold that many songs?" Rainbow asks, her eyes widening as she traces them down the small screen. She taps something at random with the tip of her hoof, since she can't read the artist names. "What the...another screen popped up. Why isn't it playing music?"

"Because all you did was tap a single artist. My music is organized into albums, which are then organized by artist. So if you want it to play, tap an album, and then tap a song," I direct her. One thing I do have the presence of mind to do is turn down the volume of the phone by reaching over Rainbow's hooves and clicking the buttons a few times.

Of course, while doing that, I realize I'm entirely too fucking close to Rainbow. Like, to the point where I can feel her damn breathing. Without disturbing Rainbow, I stealthily back away a little. I wonder why she didn't push me away herself. Don't mares have any sense of personal space?

Rainbow taps an album and song at random, and then the song immediately starts to play. It's at a relatively low volume so that we won't draw too much attention from the other ponies in the streets around us, but it's loud enough that Rainbow and I can hear it.

I recognize the song almost immediately. It's also a really good one. It's one of my favorites from that particular album, because the singer tried a new style and it worked out extremely well.

Once the electric guitar kicks in, Rainbow's eyes widen, and her jaw drops. "Ohmigosh, this is so awesome!" she declares, and then the singer starts up. "Hang on, how come I can..."

"Shut up. Song now, questions later," I cut her off rather rudely. Rainbow looks miffed for a second, and then she shrugs, her attention returning to the song playing from the speakers.

So, from an outside perspective, ponies would see a human and a pony, respectively sitting and standing such that their heads are at relatively the same height, both enjoying the sound of faint music coming from an unknown source.

When the song ended, I reach over and stop the music before it can go to the next song. I also take the phone back from Rainbow, which she reluctantly hands back.

"That was awesome! Human music is the best! Can we listen to more?" she says pleadingly, excitement stamped on her face. I look at her with an unreadable expression.

You have no idea how long I've been waiting for somebody to ask me something like that. One thing that always bugged me about other people is that the amount of enthusiasm they show for music is ridiculously low. To the point where I'd shown one of my favorite tracks from an anime to a guy, and he just goes "meh." He doesn't actually say that, but that's the feel I got from him.

Or worse, when I saw someone listen to a particularly moving string song and not get touched by it. Like seriously? You must be one shallow fucking person if a song like that can't move you.

And then there's the people who do like music. You'd think I'd get along with them, but nope. They're all fucking lunatics. Like the guys in the music department at my school. They're always hanging around together, talking about stupid shit, like your typical over the top college drama that I wouldn't touch with a nine foot pole.

So how do you think I feel, when I'm facing a mostly normal individual (the fact that she's a pony doesn't matter), who's also my friend, who actually wants to hear more of my music?

Like I want to grab her, take her back home, grab a few two liter bottles of soda, and have a blast listening to that music at max volume. Unfortunately, life isn't that simple.

"No. This thing runs on battery power, and I don't want to waste more charge than I have to," I tell her firmly, powering the phone off again. Rainbow watches me put the phone back in my pocket with a pained expression.

"But...why can't you just charge it back up again?" Rainbow protests.

"Because I can't. I don't feel like explaining the technicalities to you, because you won't understand and keep bugging me," I snap. I'm already beginning to regret showing it to her. Rainbow opens her mouth to argue. "The answer is no, Rainbow!"

"You...ugh, fine," Rainbow relents, disappointed. She also looks a little hurt, though I have idea why she would be.

I stand back up, looking away from Rainbow wistfully. I want to show you my music. I really do. But I can't. If I do, my phone will die in the space of a few hours, and then everything I have of Amaryllis, my family, and the rest of my human life will be gone forever. Nothing is worth that.

"Let's get moving. You still want to show me this shop, don't you?" I remind her, hating the awkward silence that had fallen over us. Thankfully, Rainbow gets over it pretty fast, her face lighting up.

"That's right! Come on, we're almost there!"

---

This gift shop we're going to finally comes into view, nestled in the corner of a large shopping area. By that, I mean there's a bunch of buildings arranged in a square, a little like an outlet mall, only much larger.

There's also ponies fucking everywhere, moving to an from the different buildings, many wearing overly gaudy saddlebags filled with their respective purchases. A lot of the things I see them carrying look expensive. Like this one mare that walks by carrying a dress folded over her back. That looks like it's made of silk. I think that's really expensive, since I'm not sure they've come up with artificial silk just yet. Well, maybe they have, since they figured out artificial leather already.

Now then, I haven't been to this part of town just yet, so what do you think happens when a famed historical being such as myself walks into a populated shopping square? That's right, pretty much everypony stops whatever they're doing and stares. Well, when I say stop, I mean some of them do, while the rest just crane their heads while continuing on their way.

"Rainbow," I murmur to my friend, who's looking at me sympathetically. "Let's get inside that store before one of these ponies decides to talk to me."

"Sounds like a good idea. I'd rather spare them the trouble of dealing with you," Rainbow quips, nudging me. I scoff.

"Well, fuck you too. At least my hair isn't every color of the rainbow. I think you stand out more than I do," I respond with equal snark, a little half grin forming on my face.

"Oh, are we doing this?" Rainbow demands in mock anger.

"Yeah, we're doing this. I'm talking shit about your mane. Problem?" At that, Rainbow proceeds to strike a dumb looking pose that I think was meant to show off her mane.

"Oh, I think you're just jealous. Who doesn't want a mane like this? It's awesome, way better than that drab black evil pony look you've got going on there," Rainbow brags, running a hoof through her mane.

"Hey, what am I supposed to do about that? I happen to like black, and even if I didn't, I'm not dyeing it. That would just make it look cheap," I return, though I'm chuckling slightly at the way she described my hair. "Like yours. How much dye did that take?"

"This? Dye? I'm insulted! This is one hundred percent natural, I'll have you know!" Rainbow retorts, huffing indignantly.

"Bullshit," I proclaim, and then before Rainbow can stop me, I step closer to her and start messing in her mane.

"Ah! What the hay are you doing?" Rainbow protests. I ignore her at first, moving portions of the mane aside so I can see the roots. And...much to my shock, there's no sign of dyeing. Usually to tell if hair is dyed, you check the roots, because they're usually a different color.

And there's no color change. Her roots as uniform as anywhere else. Which means she really does have a fucking rainbow mane. "Well, I stand corrected. It really isn't dye. Evolution is fucked up," I admit, removing my hands from Rainbow's mane. She readjusts her mane indignantly.

"Well, yeah, that's what I just said. You're lucky I don't care all that much about how my mane looks. Rarity would have ground you to dust if you'd done that to her," Rainbow warns me, which causes me to chuckle. I remember Rarity had that ridiculously primped mane that probably took hours to style. Yeah, if I messed with that, she'd murder me with her magic or something.

One thing I do notice as we approach the gift shop. The interaction between Rainbow and I seems to put the other ponies watching us at ease, as they stop staring as much and continue on their way.

"Seriously though, how and why the hell did evolution decide to give ponies brightly colored fur and manes in the first place? How would a rainbow mane be considered viable?" I question. Rainbow blinks.

"What?" At that, I give her an exasperated look.

"Did I stutter?"

"No, but I don't have a clue what you're talking about. Evolution?" Rainbow explains. Ugh...sometimes I forget that most of the ponies have no idea the kind of perspective I had before coming to this time.

"Nevermind, we can talk about that later. For now, we appear to have arrived," I say, pointing at the building in front of us. If Rainbow hadn't pointed it out when we entered the square, I doubt I'd have figured it out. Though now that I see it, I feel like the Wonderbolts have a connection with the color blue. Like, practically everything on the building is blue.

I may be exaggerating. The brickwork is as white as the rest of the city of course, but the awning and emphasis colors are blue. Also, on the awning and some of the walls, there's this logo of a winged lightning bolt.

"Yes! We're here!" Rainbow exclaims, and then she zooms inside without another word, leaving me out on the street.

"Dammit Rainbow..." I mutter as I follow her inside. A small bell on the door rings as I enter. And the first thing that catches my notice is all of the fucking blue. Blue posters, blue outfits, blue snow globes, blue everything! Even the clerk behind an old fashioned register is wearing this weird ass blue outfit emblazoned with lightning bolts, though it looks a little cheaply made, if you ask me.

The clerk gasps upon seeing Rainbow. "Hey, you're the one who won this year's Young Fliers Competition, aren't you? Miss Dash, was it?" he says excitedly.

Rainbow freezes at being recognized, and then upon comprehending the clerk's words, she starts preening at the attention. "That's right. You're pretty well informed," Rainbow responds, her ego making itself clear in her voice.

"Hang on, you won the what now?" I interrupt. The clerk looks at me, and then does a double take.

"A...a hu...a human!? In my shop!?" At first, I think he's going to give me trouble, but then his grin widens further. "Can this day get any better!?"

Rainbow laughs at the deadpan expression my face. I guess it was only a matter of time until someone went over the top like this about me. Well, he's about to find out that the last human is nothing like what he expected.

"Yes, yes, but never mind that. Rainbow did what?"

The clerk stares for a second, and then he shakes himself back to his senses. "Right. Miss Dash here executed a totally cool Sonic Rainboom for the Young Fliers Competition earlier this year, wowing the crowd and saving the Wonderbolts in the process. Can you imagine that? A Sonic Rainboom! The only pegasus I know of that's ever performed one!"

"Yes, well, please lay off a bit on the praise. I don't need her ego getting any larger," I retort.

"Hey!" Rainbow responds, nudging me. I proceed to annoy her by messing in her mane again. "Ugh...stop that! Seth!"

"So I've heard of a sonic boom, but what the hell is a Sonic 'Rainboom?'" I say, changing the subject. A second later, a minor pain in the hand that's in Rainbow's mane causes me to withdraw it with a grunt. I look over to see her looking at me smugly. "Did you just fucking bite me?"

"Oh please, that was just a nip," Rainbow says dismissively, and then her smug grin widens. "Maybe you should keep your hands out of a mare's mane."

"Would you rather I scratch your ears?" I tease her. Rainbow cranes her head back and looks at me oddly, as if she's never heard of something like that. "What? It's something we'd do back to the ponies in my time."

"Humans are weird," Rainbow remarks. I shrug, as I already knew that. "Anyway, to answer your question, a Sonic Rainboom is when a really fast pegasus breaks the sound barrier and creates an awesome rainbow in the process!"

"That doesn't make sense. A sonic boom doesn't create rainbows. You would have to bend light as well as break the sound barrier in order to do something even remotely close to that, which means you would have to be traveling the speed of light. Which is impossible," I contest, but all this does is make Rainbow look prouder.

"Well, I did it. I guess that just means I'm awesome," Rainbow preens. I groan and look at the clerk.

"Did she really cause a rainbow by breaking the sound barrier?"

"Yes she did! I was there!" The clerk answers enthusiastically.

"How the fuck do you make rainbows by doing that?" I demand, lamenting the loss of my perfect world that at one point made sense. Rainbow opens her mouth to respond. "Don't you fucking say 'magic.'"

"...Magic?" Rainbow answers sheepishly. My brow goes flat, and I proceed to facepalm repeatedly.

"Goddammit, fucking magic." I swear to god, I'm going to find that statue of Discord, and take to it with a fucking sledgehammer.

After a pause, the clerk coughs nervously. "Uhm, pardon my lack of professionalism. It's not often we get customers like you two in this shop. Anyhow," he takes a moment to clear his throat. When he starts talking again, he sounds like a typical shop clerk. "Welcome to the Wonderbolts Gift Shop! Let me know if you see anything you like!"

"Right! Come on, Seth, I have so much to show you!" Rainbow says, grabbing at my hand with a hoof. I clasp her hoof without thinking about it. Seconds later, I realize it and release her. What the fuck, brain? Where did that come from? Thankfully Rainbow doesn't mention it.

I soon forget about it as Rainbow launches into a rant about everything Wonderbolts. She points out the smallest things, from coffee mugs with the winged lightning bolt on it, to even cheap looking stitched costumes like the one the clerk is wearing. Apparently that's the official Wonderbolt uniform.

"Take a look at this!" Rainbow tells me, stopping just underneath a large poster of several ponies wearing the Wonderbolts outfit. I'm assuming they're the real deal. All of them are wearing goggles that hide their eyes from me, but their manes are enough to distinguish them.

The mare in the lead has a wild mane like fire and yellow wings. The on her left looks male and has grayish blue wings and a dark blue mane, and the last mare has light blue colored wings and a multicolored mane with two shades of light blue in it.

Rainbow points a hoof at the Wonderbolt with the fiery mane. "That one is Spitfire! She's their leader. She's really cool! All serious and strict when flying, but really laid back and fun loving when off duty." She then points at the stallion. "That's Soarin. He's really goofy, and loves to eat. That last one there is Fleetfoot, and she..."

"You're talking like you know them personally," I point out, interrupting her in the process. Rainbow looks slightly put out, but that only lasts for a second.

"I do! The prize for winning the Young Fliers Competition is spending a day with the Wonderbolts. So I got to know them all better! It was so...so...AWESOME!" Rainbow squeals, that fangirl part of her coming to the surface. I have to facepalm. I'm humoring her, yes, but I never could understand why people would get so obsessed with celebrities. They were people like the rest of us, which meant they were flawed. Granted, I can respect their talent, like musicians, but I wouldn't post them all over my room. I'd never be like those dumb men and women that get so into their favorite celebrities, they literally want to fuck them. Glancing at Rainbow, I bet she'd be all over that Soarin guy if he were here now. Huh...for some reason that pisses me off.

"I'm sure it was," I finally say, in a rather dismissive manner. With that, Rainbow continues leading me on a tour of the gift shop.

They have everything in here. Like, seriously. If there's an object, you can be damn sure there's a version of it in here colored blue with the Wonderbolt logo on it, or even pictures of the Wonderbolts themselves. There are some really plush blankets with the same image on it as the poster on one of the shelves. There's even some really expensive stuff here, like electric lamps of the sort that you'd see on a college student's desk. The amount of bits they want for it are ridiculous, but then again, I probably don't even want to see the price of one of the houses here in Canterlot.

Call me twisted, but I'm half surprised there aren't any Wonderbolt sex toys here. It wouldn't be that odd, seeing as in my time, every mall had that one sketchy store that blatantly sold that kind of stuff. Despite that, I'm glad I don't see any. I think that would be too much for me. I do not want to know about pony masturbation habits. Well, thanks brain, for making me shudder. You are really fucking up today.

Shooting me a mock glare, Rainbow picks up a Wonderbolts history book from a shelf near the back of the store. "I'll learn everything about them! Just you wait!" she vows, jabbing a hoof at me.

"Whatever," I reply, and then we continue our tour.

---

Finally, after a good hour, Rainbow finally sees fit to leave the store...with several bags worth of various Wonderbolts paraphernalia. Somehow I forgot how much it sucks to go shopping with a woman, even if she is mostly tomboyish...and a pony.

"So now what?" I ask, once we've re entered the square. "I think all we had on the itinerary was this gift shop."

"Hm, I dunno. What time did you say that concert thing was?" Rainbow replied.

"Eight."

"Eh, we still got time. What do you feel like doing?"

"Why the hell are you asking me? I've never been to Canterlot; I don't know what kind of entertainment it offers," I snap.

"Because you'd complain if I didn't," Rainbow returns with a grin, taking my annoyed words in stride.

"Ugh, whatever. Just find some place to..." I trail off as something on one of the stores catches my attention.

I can't read Equestrian, but I don't need to in order to tell what kind of store I'm looking at. Besides the little Equestrian scrawl, there's the image of several black musical eighth notes.

"Uh...you there, Seth?" Rainbow asks, poking my leg.

"It's my turn to pick the store," I declare, and then I immediately make a beeline for the music store. I'm interested to see how musical instruments have changed since my time.

Rainbow follows me, confused, as I lead her towards the store. As soon as she sees the name of the store, she makes a sound of understanding.

I open the door and walk inside, a bell chiming as I do so. The first thing I notice are the large grand pianos situated in the center of the room. Hell yes, that's what I'm talking about. I've only ever practiced on keyboards, not actual grand pianos. I hope the proprietor isn't a bitch and lets me play one.

Almost everything in here I recognize. There are many stringed instruments lining the walls, ranging from violins to guitars, though I notice almost all of the latter are acoustic. Those that aren't have prices ranging in the millions.

"Wow," I say, feeling like a kid in a candy store. Every time I go into stores like this, it always takes my breath away. Rainbow walks in behind me. When she sees the awed and happy expression on my face, she smiles as well.

"Greetings, and welcome to..." the stallion behind the counter begins, and then immediately cuts off when he sees me. To his credit however, he composes himself after a short pause and continues. "...Bass Clef's Musical Acquisitions. If there is anything you need, please feel free to ask."

"Thank you," I reply curtly, not really in the mood to talk to him. That was always the thing with music stores. Too many fucking people. Or ponies in this particular case. Thankfully though, I don't see very many ponies in here.

"That was a pretty quick recovery there," Rainbow remarks quietly to me, stifling a snicker behind her hoof.

"Yeah, but this is starting to get on my nerves. I wish Celestia would just release a public statement or something about the fact that I exist. Get all the shock out of the way," I grunt.

"That wouldn't really change anything. It's different hearing about a human, and seeing one," Rainbow points out reasonably.

"Ugh, I suppose."

From there, I proceed to ignore Rainbow and proceed along the edges of the room, peering at each and every instrument. Unfortunately, there's very little in here that I actually know how to play. Even worse, I can't actually buy anything. The amount of bits they want for even the smallest instrument is way more than I have. Oh well. They can't stop me looking.

As I'm looking at the violin section, the door rings again behind me, but I don't really pay attention. So what if there's another pony in here?

"Oh! Hello, miss Octavia. It's a pleasure to see you," the proprietor says, addressing the new arrival by name, curiously enough.

"Hey there, Bass. How are my repairs coming along?" Octavia replies in a casual manner. That tells me two things. One, that stallion is the owner. Two, she called him by his first name, when he didn't. I guess she's not one for formalities. Whatever. I'm done caring.

I tune them out as they discuss the repairs or whatever, instead moving along down the wall, looking at the different stringed instruments. Ooh, that's a viola. Sometimes I wish I learned to play one of those.

Goddamn, these double basses are massive. You know, I actually wanted to play one of those. The idea of playing fun rhythm parts appealed to me, especially when I could make sounds like the ones these things do. Too bad I couldn't afford one. I let my eyes linger on a double bass for a moment longer, and then I move onto the cellos.

"Interested in cellos, are we?" I turn, hiding a groan at being interrupted. The pony who had decided to talk to me is stone gray mare with even an even darker gray mane that looks to have been excessively groomed. Not surprisingly, she has a treble clef on her ass, colored lavender, like her eyes. The pony, who I assume is the Octavia who'd walked in a few seconds ago, is watching me curiously for a response.

"Not especially. I just like instruments in general," I answer her honestly. I half expect her to become disinterested at that and leave, but instead she nods understandingly.

"Oh?" Octavia responds, prompting me to speak further. Ugh, what a pain. I can see Rainbow wincing behind me. She probably thinks I'm going to chew this pony out. You know, I'm thinking about it.

"I enjoy music, that's all. It's not that strange for me to like the instruments that create it." I hope she'll figure out that I don't want to talk. I didn't come here to talk, I came here to look. Goddamn overly social ponies.

"Of course not. It's just that everyone usually tends to choose a favorite instrument," Octavia replies amiably. "Your view is an unusual one."

"I could care less if that's the case," I say with a shrug. "Though I suppose if I had to choose, I'd say the piano would be my instrument of choice. It's the only one I know how to play."

"Hang on, you know how to play the piano?" Rainbow interjects. Right, she's here too. I ignore her though. All she wants is a confirmation, which she'll get if she listens. Octavia looks at me closely, and then at the piano.

"Intriguing. You're not a unicorn, so I can't help but wonder how you play, when the keys are that small," Octavia comments, in such a way that it sounds like she's challenging my statement. Well, it's easy enough to show her.

"Take a good look at these," I tell her, raising my hands and separating my fingers. Understanding dawns on Octavia's face hen she sees them, and then she smiles.

"Ah, now I understand. Pardon my disbelief, but I've never met a human before, so I wasn't sure," Octavia admits. I roll my eyes. There it is. It always comes down to the fact that I'm human. Seriously, shut the fuck up about that.

"You and the rest of the ponies," I reply bitterly. Octavia flinches at that, as does Rainbow. I step away from the stringed instruments, moving away from the two of them. Times like this make me wish I still my headphones. Even if they didn't work, they still worked wonders in letting people that I didn't want to fucking talk to them.

I think she got the picture. Instead of coming after me, Octavia is now talking with Rainbow about something. Whatever, I don't care.

"Hey," I say to Bass as I walk past his counter. He looks up at me attentively. I thrust my thumb towards one of the pianos. "Do you care if I try one of those out?"

"Not at all. Be careful though. There's..." Bass begins.

"Thanks, but you can skip the safety warnings. I know more about pianos than the entire pony race," I snap, starting to move away from him.

"That's a highly contestable statement," Bass splutters indignantly. I stop once more and turn back to face him, my eyebrow raised.

"Is it? In case you hadn't noticed, my people invented the damn things. In fact, I can tell you it was a talented Italian harpsichord maker named Bartolomeo Cristofori," I remind him. Bass blinks, nonplussed. Understanding dawns on his face a second later when he finally realizes what I am, but I'm already sitting down at one of the pianos, memories of hours spent in my parents' basement practicing returning to me.

Rainbow, who's still talking to Octavia, notices what I'm doing and nudges the other pony, pointing at me. I start to feel a little self conscious before I even start, because now I realize every single pony in the store (all four or five of them, including the three I've mentioned) is watching me.

I almost decide to say fuck it and not do this, but I stay, knowing that I'd regret it if I didn't do this at least once. I doubt I'll get another chance any time soon if I don't.

I guess I'll start with a little warmup. There was a slightly difficult, yet comparatively easy piece from one of my favorite video games that I would play before I started every practice, because it helped me loosen my fingers and get ready for harder stuff.

Muscle memory guides my hands to the correct position on the keyboard, and then I press the first note to test the sound quality...which is fucking amazing. Okay. I take a deep breath, and that I start playing my warmup piece.

Wow, I haven't done this in forever. I can't help but fuck up a few times, but each time my expression doesn't change, and I just start over. It doesn't take me very long to get back into it, as I've played it enough times that the notes have been ingrained into my head, and my fingers easily remember the right positions.

During my warmup, I can't help but notice Rainbow's jaw drop, while Octavia's expression is neutral.

After playing the last note, I immediately go into one of the only songs I remember. This one is harder, so I do make a few stutters along the way. After all, I haven't played in months. But I keep going. This song I'm playing used to melt my heart whenever I'd hear it, so I had dedicated a long time to learning it.

It's not very fast, but sometimes, a song doesn't have to be fast to be good. That stands in stark contrast to most of my music choices, but this song always was an exception.

Halfway through the song, I get into it, and my hands know exactly where to go, even if I'm not looking. I close my eyes and continue playing, immersing into the spirit of the song. Goddamn, its been too long since I last played. Not to mention, I'll never get to hear this song in its original form ever again, thanks to Sombra. So if I want to keep the memory of it alive, this is the only way I can.

When I at last play the final chord, I open my eyes...and notice that there's twice as many ponies in here than there were a second ago. Now there's like, ten, and they're all looking at me. Well, fuck this, I'm done.

When I stand up, the ponies understand that I've finished, and then all of them start stomping their front hooves on the ground, including Rainbow and Octavia. What the fuck? Is that like, the pony version of applause?

Instead of acknowledging them in any way, I push through them and leave the store entirely. I don't know what had possessed me to play in public. I guess I'd been so excited to see a piano, I couldn't really stop myself. Goddamn it...I hate playing for people, even ponies. They all applaud and such, but they're really just judging me, comparing me to older and better players that I can't possibly live up to.

"Hey, Seth, wait up!" Rainbow calls out to me, having dashed out of the store behind me. I don't say a word to her, letting her catch up to me as I move to make as much distance between me and that store as I can. "Why did you never say you could play like that?"

"What good would it have done? There's no piano in Ponyville, so it would just seem like a bunch of hot air," I answer bitterly.

"I think Lyra has one," Rainbow informs me. I look at her in surprise, but then the meaning of the name she uttered clicks.

"Right, and I'm not going near her if I can help it. So my point still stands." Rainbow huffs at my stubbornness.

"You know, you should really chill out some. I guarantee you'll have more fun," Rainbow advises me. Right, because it's that easy. If "just chilling out" was enough to enjoy dealing with a social environment, I wouldn't be as fucked up as I am.

"Whatever." The conversation dies there, and we walk in silence for a bit longer, though I don't really know here I'm going.

"Hey, why don't we go meet Vinyl for dinner?" Rainbow suggests. "We should have enough time before that concert you mentioned."

"Huh. That actually sounds like a good idea. I haven't had any food since the picnic. And we all know where those calories went," I reply wryly. Rainbow laughs, as she knows I'm referring to my fight with Celestia...which I still find it hard to believe that I even had.

Whatever. Food now, thinking later.

---

Author's Note:

Heh, a lot of music in this chapter. Oh well. Seth loves his music. He's just never had a chance to really show it until now, when he can actually go in and admire instruments.

So while writing this chapter, I did a thing. Like, something inserted itself into the story without me even noticing it until I read back through it. I almost took it out, but then I was like, fuck it. The story does what it wants. I'm just the vessel. Thank you Clio, you little fuck. Just kidding, I love you.

Also, due to the request of a certain reviewer who know who he/she is, I now place this nonsensical word: potato. xD

"Rainbow, do you even know where Vinyl is?" I say after a few minutes of walking in silence. Rainbow's been with me the whole time we've been out. Who knows what Vinyl's been doing in the meantime. She could be anywhere in the city.

"Nope! Not a clue," Rainbow replies cheerfully, causing me to facepalm.

"I figured as much. So how do you intend to find her?"

"Who knows? Don't you think it'll be a little fun to just wander?"

"Rainbow, I don't have that kind of time. I should be going back to the castle in about an hour," I point out. I remember seeing a clock on the way out of the shopping district. It had been almost 6 then, so now I'm assuming it is 6 or 6:15. I've always been extremely punctual, so I want to be at the castle thirty minutes before the concert.

"Yeah, I know. You're going to some fancy concert or another." Rainbow assures me that she hasn't forgotten. She looks a little annoyed as well, for whatever reason. "But I wanna drop all this stuff off at the hotel first. I dunno, maybe we'll run into her on the way."

"That's pretty weak logic," I complain, but I don't protest further. I doubt she wants to lug all those collectibles around with her while we look for Vinyl, so at least visiting the hotel first is the logical thing to do.

Hopefully she knows where the hotel is. This town doesn't make any sense whatsoever, so I wouldn't be able to find my way around on my own. Literally the only landmark I can make out from here is the castle itself, and that's not helpful at all.

She does. We turn the corner, and I immediately recognize the train station, as well as our hotel on the left side of the street. That's a relief.

Stepping inside we are immediately approached by one of the hotel staff, who recognize us immediately. Or should I say, they recognize me immediately, since I know I stand out wherever we go. Sometimes it sucks being so tall compared to everypony else.

"Welcome back, honored guests. Would you like me to take your purchases up to your room?" the stallion addresses us with a formal bow.

"Yeah, that would be cool," Rainbow says to the stallion, passing him the bags she's been lugging around since leaving the gift shop. Rainbow looks at me and grins. "Isn't the service here great?"

"Of course it is. If you pay, they'll do anything to please you," I reply scornfully. The grin drops from Rainbow's face. "What? It's a basic business strategy. If the customer is happy, they'll come back with more money later."

"You know, sometimes it's nice to just let yourself be pampered without thinking too hard about it," Rainbow points out to me.

"Right, because ignoring something that's true is going to make it disappear," I retort. "They don't care about us at all. Just the money we bring."

Rainbow huffs. "Come on, Seth, this is a vacation! Stop thinking about all that negative stuff and have some fun."

"Really? You're just going to brush it away? Vacation or not, other ponies still think the same way." Sometimes I think these ponies deliberately choose to remain naïve just they can enjoy themselves. Seems rather foolish to me.

"You're not wrong...you're just being a jerk," Rainbow sighs, apparently giving up on the conversation. "Come on, let's go find Vinyl."

"Whatever," I grunt. Bitch doesn't realize that having fun doesn't mean ignoring the facts of the world.

When we step outside, Rainbow turns to the right, back the way we came. "Let's see, Vinyl is always Vinyl, so we'll probably see her hitting up some clubs."

"Good idea. What about that club she's going to be playing at tomorrow? Erratic Tune's?" I recall. "You think she'd be around there?"

"She's already spent some time there already, hasn't she? Why would she go back?" Rainbow asks.

"Hell, I don't know. It was just a suggestion. You can take it or not," I snap, feeling irritated for some reason. Apparently Rainbow can tell as well, judging from the way she's looking me with concern.

"You feeling all right, dude? You're a bit snappier than usual." Great, she did not just fucking ask that. The worst question anyone can ask me. Especially right now. Of course I'm not fucking all right. I haven't been all right since I got to this fucking world. My best friend is a fucking rainbow haired pony, and everything I used to do for fun is no longer possible...and I just figured out what my current issue is.

"I'm just pissed off...no need to worry about me," I say, brushing her off. I still don't trust her enough to tell her about my personal feelings.

"Really? You still won't tell me anything?" I rub my brow in annoyance at Rainbow's indignant outburst. Am I really going to have to fight with her right before going to a concert?

"Shut up, Rainbow. It's none of your damn business."

"You know what? It is! I came along with you on this trip because I wanted have fun hanging out with you. I can't really do that if you keep acting like this!" Rainbow protests vehemently, and I groan.

"You're the one making a big deal out of this. Seriously, just drop it," I tell her pointedly. I don't understand why she gets so pissed off that I won't tell her anything about how I'm feeling. Seriously. It's no one's business what another person is feeling. It always drives me up the wall when people act like they're entitled to hear about your feelings, and then get pissed off when you won't tell them shit.

"I'm just trying to help, Seth," Rainbow says in a calmer voice. She looks at me sadly. "Do you not trust me? Is that it?"

What, are you trying to make me feel bad now? I'm not falling for that shit. But...she has been making strides towards proving herself, what with fighting side by side with me against that Scorpios and then trying to reach me earlier. She's earned a straight answer at the very least.

"Fine. I'll level with you here." Rainbow lights up at that. We'll see how long that lasts. "I have no idea what to think about you right now. I've known you for a little over a week. I consider you my friend because you're not like the millions upon millions of humans that I've lived my whole life hating. Aren't you satisfied with that?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Let me put it to you this way. I never even trusted Amaryllis until a month after I met her," I rephrase, hoping that she'll finally get the picture.

"Who's Amaryllis?" Rainbow asked. Suddenly, I realize what I did, and I freeze, my blood seemingly running cold.

"Fuck," I mutter, realizing that I once again like a dumb fuck, spilled one of my closest secrets without even realizing it. Just by that one exclamation, Rainbow gets the idea, her eyes widening with horror.

"Oh buck, she was a human, wasn't she?" Rainbow asks softly. Well, she figured that out pretty quick. Goddammit, shit! Why can't I just keep my goddamn mouth shut!? I wasn't thinking about it, I just said it. But why the fuck did I feel like saying that would be a good idea? "Someone close to you?"

I slam my fist into the wall hard, but I don't feel any pain from it. Instead, the wall cracks slightly, and I realize with chagrin that I accidentally channeled a little magic into that. Rainbow flinches at my expression of anger.

Rainbow closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Okay. Maybe I was overreacting a little bit. I can't even come close to imagining how you're probably feeling." Her admittance causes me to look at her in surprise. "I won't ask you about Amaryllis, or bug you about talking. Just...know that you're not alone okay? If you need me, I'll be here."

I stare at Rainbow for a long time, once again unable to tell if she's being sincere or not. But...she is backing off, and true or not, her words are oddly comforting. "Thank you," I say to her tersely, as I honestly can't think of anything else to say to that.

A few more moments pass, and then Rainbow groans and facehoofs. "What is it about you that brings out the sap in me?" she complains. A slight case of deja vu strikes me, and I can't help but chuckle.

"Maybe you're just a sappy pony and you're not telling anyone," I remark, and the resulting look of horror that crosses Rainbow's face is enough to make me laugh.

---

With that whole episode behind us, Rainbow and I continue on our way, and it isn't long before we arrive at Erratic's bar. At least, I assume it's Erratic's bar, because I can't fucking read the sign.

But, something is odd about the place. By that, I mean the sound of an electric guitar is blasting out of the door, along with other instruments. But...wait a minute. That sound is too raw to be a recording, like what Vinyl does. Somepony is playing an actual electric guitar in there.

"Holy shit, I need to see this," I state plainly, and then I run towards the door.

"Me too," Rainbow agrees, and then she follows me inside.

The inside of the bar has a layout similar to what you'd expect from a place like this. By that, I mean the place is laid out like a restaurant, with booths lining the walls and tables filling the spaces in between. The bar itself is against the back wall, where an unkempt brown stallion with a sandy yellow mane is serving drinks while bobbing his head to the music.

Speaking of the music, there's a stage in the back corner a few feet away from the bar, atop of which is a band consisting of three ponies.

The first pony is a steel blue pegasus stallion with a brown and black mane, who's playing a fucking saxophone with insane skill. How the fuck do ponies play saxophones, where you need the dexterity of fingers to open and close the various valves? No, he's using the individual fucking feathers on his wings to perform that necessary task. Now I would tell you why that's bullshit, but it seems like every time I try to use logic on this world, it smacks me in the face with magic.

The second pony is a cream colored earth pony mare with a flowing brown mane, similar to my own hairstyle, except puffed out to look more feminine. She's also wearing a set of shades similar to Vinyl's. Her instrument of choice are the drums, and she's pounding those drums like crazy, adding rhythm to the song.

The last one catches my attention. This one is a dark gray unicorn mare with an extremely long black mane, with a red stripe running through it. She's the one playing the guitar, except it's not electric at all. It looks like a typical Fender stratocaster, except there's no input for the amp. It's acoustic, so how the hell is it making that electric sound?

I notice her horn lighting up like a beacon with red light. The next thing I notice is the air visibly distorting around the guitar. I'm guessing she's using her magic to distort the sound somehow. That's not all. The lights flashing around the packed dance floor are not from LEDS, but from her magic. There's literally balls of light just floating in midair above her. So she's using magic to hold the guitar, distort the sound, and create lights all at once? That's pretty impressive.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" I yell over the loud music. This is like being at a rock concert. Despite it being really early in the day for this kind of thing, the bar is packed. The more ponies that come in, the wider that pony at the bar smiles.

Rainbow nudges me. I look back at her to see her pointing at a particular table with a hoof. I follow her hoof to see Vinyl sitting at that table, sipping from a glass cup. So I was right after all.

Vinyl looks up and grins when she sees us approach. She slaps the seats next to her with her hoof, inviting us to join her.

"Why are you still here? Weren't you going to go wander the city?" Rainbow addresses her. At this distance, it's difficult to hear one another, but if we lean in close, it's manageable.

"Are you kidding me? Why should I go anywhere when I've got killer entertainment like this?" Vinyl asks, indicating the band with a hoof.

"Can't argue with that logic," I add, sitting down next to Vinyl. Rainbow dithers a bit, and then decides to sit next to me. So once again, I'm sitting between Vinyl and Rainbow. "Who are these ponies, anyway?"

"I mentioned them earlier, bro. The Blazing Medley. Believe it or not, this is just their sound test," Vinyl explains. Right, they're the ones Vinyl said were playing tonight, instead of us.

"Really? I think we can tell they have sound!" Rainbow exclaims, though she is smiling. She's probably enjoying it as much as I am. There's no vocals, but that stallion on the saxophone is really rocking it out up there. I don't think I've ever seen anyone get so into playing a saxophone since that one dumb YouTube video. Except in this case, the melody he's playing deserves that kind of movement.

"There's seems to be an awful lot of partying for just a sound test," I observe, looking at the dance floor filled with gallivanting ponies. It's odd, I expected this to be a bit more formal, since that's what the atmosphere of Canterlot seems to be. Yet none of the dancing ponies here are wearing all that fancy clothing. I guess these are the less privileged residents?

"Right? Just wait until they start singing. I expect this place to get even busier," Vinyl relates, sipping from her drink. "So how was your visit with the Princess?"

Oh right, she knew about that too. As I think of a way to answer, I see Rainbow sneakily steal Vinyl's drink and start drinking from it. A mischievous idea runs through my mind.

"I guess you could say it was an earth shattering revelation," I answer. Vinyl raises an eyebrow, but Rainbow promptly chokes and splutters in a very undignified manner. "You could say our meeting was amagical one. In fact, I think the whole time I was practically insane."

Rainbow doubles over, slamming the cup down on the table, unable to hide her laughter. "Oh gosh, stoppit Seth, I'm gonna die! Oh shoot, it's going up my nose." She promptly covers her mouth and nose with a hoof.

Vinyl glances between us, completely and totally confused as Rainbow loses her shit next to me, and I just snicker at my incredibly bad puns. "Uh...am I missing something here?" Vinyl asks cluelessly.

"Not really. I'm just fucking with Rainbow," I remark. At that, Vinyl blushes slightly and she looks between me and Rainbow, who jerks up and looks at me oddly. I have to facepalm immediately. "Ugh...it's a human phrase...it means I'm joking around. Sheesh."

"Right, okay. I was about to say, that's a little quick," Vinyl backtracks. A grin crosses her face. "I mean, I haven't even seen you two date yet."

Rainbow attempts to brush off the earthy joke by laughing further, while I just casually sit back in my chair. "You know, jokes like that only work if they lie even remotely in the realm of possibility. Since yours doesn't, I don't give a fuck what you say."

Vinyl winces at my statement. Rainbow's reaction is to look at me with an expression that I can't even come close to reading.

Ignoring them, I glance back over at the stage as the music comes to an end with a multi layered chord that sounds freaking awesome. The saxophone playing pegasus wipes the sweat from beneath his mane and steps up to the microphone.

"Seems like you lot couldn't wait to start partying," the stallion remarks as the dancing ponies settle down. His remark earns laughter from the crowd around him. "I bet you'll be glad to know that was just our sound test!"

Cheering erupts from the bar patrons, including the ones back by us. Unfortunately, Vinyl and Rainbow decide to join in as well. Yeah yeah, playing the crowd is necessary when you're in the music business, but I've always hated being in the crowd when the playing occurs. You should have seen me during pep rallies back in school. They were mandatory, and I hated every second, since I couldn't give less of a shit about the sports teams they were promoting.

"Now then, we're gonna take a small break before the real rockin' starts! Prepare your ears, because it's going to be loud!" the pegasus continues. "This is Flint Note of the Blazing Medley, stepping off stage."

Flint Note and the other band members disperse, going to do whatever it is band members do minutes before a performance. I could care less about them though.

No, what does take me by surprise is when the unicorn guitarist walks through the crowd and makes a beeline for our table. Rainbow nudges Vinyl, and then indicates the pony approaching us. What the fuck does she want with us? I swear to god, if it's me...

"So Scratch, what did you think about that?" the mare proclaims in a very confident and self assured manner. Not to mention, she just called Vinyl by her last name.

"It was totally rad, girl! Take a seat!" Vinyl offers, slapping the seat next to her.

"Eh, buck it, why not?" the unicorn says after a moment of dithering, and then joins us at the table. So, how do these two know each other? I guess I'll find out about that in a moment, considering the unicorn is now staring at me with a blank expression. Great, now it's time for this song and dance. "Scratch, what the hay is this furless...pink monkey thing?"

That...has to be the least polite and yet most accurate way anypony has ever reacted to me. Of course, I don't appreciate it at all. Before Vinyl can answer, I respond, "This coming from the overly small deformed horse with giant ass eyes. Seriously, have I ever mentioned how ridiculous you ponies look?"

The rocker pony's practically hit the table. "You...but...the buck?" she stutters, as Rainbow and Vinyl snicker behind their hooves.

"I'd ask if a cat had your tongue, but I don't even know if cats are still a thing. Are they still a thing?" I continue, looking at Rainbow when I asked that question. I don't know why, but I feel slightly at ease. Maybe it's because I'm used to being in bars where live performances are held. My father was a bit of a musical enthusiast, so he had a few performances every now and then.

"Yeah, they're a thing. Rarity has one. You were at her place, right? You didn't see Opal?" Rainbow informs me, as the unicorn sitting with is looks between us, probably wondering what the hell I am.

"I'm assuming you don't mean the gemstone, so the answer is no," I reply.

"Okay, cut. What in Luna's mane are you?" the unicorn finally gets tired of our shit and interrupts us.

"Depends on who you ask. To most, I'm an asshole." I also feel like being a colossal smart ass, since I'm really tired of answering this fucking question.

"And to others, an insufferable smart aleck," Rainbow quips, to which I shrug nonchalantly, since I just got through thinking that.

"Cut the crap! Seriously, what are you?" the unicorn presses. I groan and rub my forehead.

"All right then, I'm going to introduce myself properly, since you clearly don't know how to," I snap at her. She growls at me for that, but I continue anyway. "My name is Seth Rogers, and that's all you need to fucking know."

"He's human," Rainbow supplies the unicorn (un)helpfully.

"Dammit, Rainbow!" My outburst only causes my friend to laugh at my expense, even as the unicorn gazes at me with wide eyes.

"Well...huh. That's...not something you encounter everyday. So I'm Ember Dawn, guitarist for the Blazing Medley." The unicorn finally gets her shit together and introduces herself, though I notice she doesn't offer a hoof.

"Great, now that that's out of the way, can I get some fucking service? I'm hungry!" I complain. For some reason, Rainbow is looking at me with a strange smile on her face. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. Just happy to see you back to normal," she replies in a friendly manner. I stare at her for a few seconds. Every time I think I've got her figured out, she pulls some shit to prove me wrong. But, my growling stomach distracts me from those thoughts.

Vinyl stops a passing pony dressed in official looking clothes, and finally we get some menus to look at.

"Vinyl," I say calmly, my right eye twitching. When she looks at me curiously, I shove the menu at her. "I can't fucking read!"

"You know, it just hit me, but you curse an awful lot, don't you?" Rainbow points out, interrupting us. I give her an incredulous look.

"Seriously? It just hit you? When literally 'fuck' is every other word out of my mouth?"

"I guess you got me there," Rainbow admits sheepishly. "I've never really had an opportunity to ask though. So what's up with that?"

"Eh, there's no deep seated reason. My vocabulary sucks and I'm too lazy to change that."

"Hah! Don't ever say that around Twilight. She'll tie you to a chair and pound a dictionary into your brain," Rainbow jokes. Funny thing is, I can actually picture Twilight doing that.

"Right, I won't. Anyway. Vinyl, the menu. Read me?" I demand. I really can't wait to learn this language so I can stop making ponies read things to me.

"Heh, all right. Starting from the top, you've got your classic hayburger with cheese..."

---

So, after like five minutes of listening to Vinyl rattle off a bunch of bullshit entrees that would taste good only to ponies, I end up ordering...take wild guess...another damn salad. I get the feeling I'm going to get really sick of eating salads every day of my life. There has to be some way I can get some variety.

So when that arrives along with a glass of water, I start munching on my food quickly, since I've essentially squandered away the rest of my time doing nothing productive. Ember eats with us as well, though I ignore her most of the time, since she only really talks to Vinyl.

I finish pretty fast, and then I stand up, since I should be heading to the castle right about now if I want to get there early like I usually want to.

"You heading out?" Rainbow asks me, even though she probably already knows the answer. I nod anyway.

"How much does the meal cost?" I say, fishing out my bag of fourteen bits. Vinyl looks down on the menu.

"For what you ordered, it's like 4 bits. Not that much. I could cover it fo..."

"No. Here," I cut her off without missing a beat, setting the four bits down on the table. That's a rather hefty price for such a small meal, but this is Canterlot, so I probably should have expected as much.

"You stubborn human," Vinyl huffs, taking the money. "So where exactly are you going, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just going to see the Canterlot Royal Orchestra with the Princess of Love," I reply as if it's no big deal at all.

"Okay, I didn't know that you were going with a princess!" Rainbow exclaims. Vinyl and Ember are also looking at me in shock.

"What is it with you? Do you just attract princesses?" Vinyl remarked, probably referring to how I got a visit from both Celestia and Luna a while back. You know, before I found out I had dark magic running through me for whatever reason.

"I certainly hope not. They weigh quite a lot, so I'd probably get crushed," I remark. Rainbow practically stuffs a hoof in her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Sshh, Seth! It's a good thing they're not around to hear you say that," Vinyl hisses at me, looking scandalized. "Some things you just don't say about a mare."

"And some things I couldn't give a shit about. Now then, if you don't mind, I'm going to duck out." With that, I turn away from the table and stride towards the exit, already wondering what the performance I'm going to is going to be like.

"See you back at the hotel tonight!" Rainbow calls. "We're in room 352! Don't forget!"

"Later bro!" Vinyl chimes in. All I spare for them is a quick one handed wave before I leave the bar.

Since it's like, ten past seven, it's gotten much darker than it was before I entered the bar. And, true to my expectations, the streets are still full of ponies. It is a city after all, so I'd expect there to be ponies out and about every hour of the day. I'm certainly glad I don't live here. I like it quiet after dark. Not to mention I'd get constantly nervous if I had to live in the presence of the princesses. As benevolent as Celestia claims to be, I get nervous around somepony with as much destructive power as she exhibited. She's like a damn Bleach character.

Right, so just retracing my steps to the palace. That's easy though, since I can see the palace no matter where I go in town.

Huh, it's weird, but I'm actually in somewhat of a good mood. I was all angry earlier because I'm literally just living for my job, with nothing to really do in my spare time. It was almost too cruel to give me a taste of what it was like to have my old hobby back, only for me to realize that I can never do it again.

But now, I don't know why, but that's not that big of a deal. There's other things I can do for a hobby. I'll definitely pick up reading again once I learn this fucking language. Anyway, I should probably think about where I'm going before I get lost.

Because I've already been there once, it doesn't take me long before I'm standing before the golden gates once again. This time the guards only spare me a single glance before they recognize me and open the gate. Looks like Cadance made sure to let them know I was coming. Good, I won't have to bitch at her.

Cadance said to meet her just inside of the main castle gates, where I'd run into her after training with Shining Armor. I'm super early, so that means I'll be waiting awkwardly for her there for like, thirty minutes while she does up her mane or whatever the fuck mares do.

…Or not. Cadance is already there, waiting patiently by the wall. She hasn't noticed me yet, because her nose is in a fiction book that she's holding with magic. And...that looks like a human on the cover. So she's reading one of these human books that I keep hearing about. That's interesting.

That aside, it's not often somebody is more early to something than me. I usually got to my classes 30 to 40 minutes early every day back in college.

I clear my throat to announce my presence. Cadance jumps in surprise, nearly dropping the book. "Oh, Seth! You're quite early," she observes, quickly regaining her poise.

"So are you," I point out, to which Cadance coughs nervously. "Um...how long were you waiting here?"

"Well, the meeting got out earlier than I expected, so I came here to read..." Cadance answers, showing me the book...which I promptly take from her. "Oh. Hehe, I guess you're a bit of a reader?"

"I stopped for a while, since all that kept getting produced was shit like Twilight," I reply, looking at the cover of the book. I realize a second later what I said. "I mean an actual book series called Twilight, not the unicorn."

"Oh, of course," Cadance sighs in relief. I'm actually curious to see what she would have done if I actually was insulting Twilight.

I look at the cover of book, which depicts two very poorly drawn humans fighting with magic in an ancient looking village. "Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Damn, this is worse than I thought," I remark, noticing a ridiculous amount of errors in just the front cover. "This is supposed to be historical?"

"Historical fiction, I suppose. Why, what do you see wrong with it?" Cadance asks curiously. I walk closer to her and orient myself so I can show her the cover of the book.

"Well, first and foremost, humans don't use magic. Secondly, we wear fucking clothes. Don't even get me started with the anatomical errors here. Thirdly, why do the houses look like that, when I clearly see a computer in one of those windows?" I criticize, pointing to each aspect that I find a problem with. "I could go on. In fact, I think I will. What the fuck is up with those hair colors?"

Cadance giggles as I point out each and everything wrong with this book. "Well, I suppose it's just fiction then," she reasons.

"Seriously, who the fuck wrote this shit? They need to check their damn facts," I assert, handing her back her book. I'm only being so harsh on it because it's supposed to be historically accurate. After all, I like anime, and they're inaccurate as all hell about how humans are.

"Have humans never written inaccurate books about the species that came before them?" Cadance inquires.

"We've certainly fucked up talking about our history. Though as for the species that came before us...I suppose that would be the dinosaurs," I muse.

"Dinosaurs?"

"Basically a bunch of giant ass lizards running around, eating each other." Cadance looks justifiably horrified at that description. "Right. As for how inaccurate they are, that's anyone's guess. We certainly didn't have any of them telling us otherwise."

"Sometimes I forget how brutal the world was before ponies came about," Cadance laments with a shake of her head.

"Whatever," I comment, though it's not in an irritated manner. Like I said, I'm feeling all right at the moment. I don't know how long that will last, but I'm going to milk it while it does. "Can we get going now? I'm interested to see this orchestra."

"Oh, of course! Pardon me, I tend to lose track of time when talking about history," Cadance says, somewhat embarrassed. "Follow me. I doubt you know where the Grand Theater is."

"Good call." Nothing else needed to be said, so Cadance and I departed the castle together. It's funny, how an ass like me can go from being a nobody in college to hanging out with royalty of a future species. Granted, said species are ponies but whatever.

I just wish it hadn't come at the cost of my friend and family.

---

As we get closer to the theater, I notice that we've joined a veritable stream of ponies that seem to have had the same idea. There's so many of them, I can't help but wonder what I'm in for. They seem to be really popular. All of them give Cadance and I a wide berth, probably because she's a princess. Some of them that see me in the darkness stare at me with shell shocked expressions.

"How often does this orchestra perform?" I ask my princess guide. She delights at the chance for more conversation, so she answers readily.

"Well it usually depends. They always play very difficult pieces, so it's not uncommon for six months to pass between performances," Cadance explains. "Other times they take but a week for simple requests."

"Who the fuck requests the Royal Orchestra?"

"You'd be surprised how much money some ponies will shell out to have some of them at their parties," Cadance tells me wryly.

Our conversation cuts off when we reach the doors of the theater, where there's several official looking ponies checking tickets, as well as a quite a few Royal Unicorn Guards. I suppose that makes sense, since there's a princess here. I'm half surprised Cadance is even allowed out here without an escort.

"Have your ticket ready," Cadance whispers to me as she reaches the doors. I roll my eyes and pull out my ticket.

The pony mare at the door recognizes Cadance immediately, gasping slightly and making a quick bow. "Your Highness, it is a pleasure to see you here!" she squeaks.

"No, the pleasure is mine. I can't wait to see what the orchestra has in store for us this time," Cadance replies sweetly, handing the mare her ticket. The mare stamps the ticket and hands it back to the princess, who walks inside.

I'm next, and this time, the mare's eyes visibly widen. "Oh...um...welcome to the Grand Theater, um...sir. Your ticket?" she stammers.

"Points for professionalism," I tell her with a grin, glad that she didn't demand what I am in the middle of a crowd. The mare blinks, but takes my ticket when I hand it to her. She glances over it, and then looks back up at me in confusion.

"Sir, this is a VIP ticket," she tells me.

"Yup. Princesses are weird in their favors," I remark. That poor mare looks so shocked at that. She looks between me and Cadance, who's standing just inside, watching me and waiting. She does that multiple times before she finally stamps the ticket and lets me inside.

"I think I freaked her out," I comment to Cadance.

"I think you did too," Cadance chuckles, looking at the mare outside.

"So these are VIP tickets, huh? And you won these in a raffle?" I say, finding it odd that one random pony would get to sit with the higher ups. Though who's considered higher up is beyond me.

"I know right?" Cadance squeals happily. "Usually it takes hundreds of bits to get a VIP seat, and I got them for free!"

"I hope that pony who did the raffle made more money on tickets than he spent buying these things," I mention. Suddenly, that reminds me of something. How did I not think about this? "By the way, how much were the raffle tickets?"

"Hm? Oh, only about 2 bits a ticket. Why?" Cadance asks, and then she recoils when I set two bits directly on her head. "What...?"

"I don't like being in debt," I retort. Whew, dodged a bullet there. I can't believe I nearly forgot about that. Cadance bemusedly takes the bits off of her head with her magic, but she thankfully doesn't say anything else about it.

So the lobby of this thing is fancy as fuck. Like, it takes my breath away. I don't think I've ever been in a place like this in my life. The floors are smooth polished wood, and the walls and ceiling have all these arches and curves lined with elegant designs that I can't really describe. It doesn't help that I'm currently walking in a crowd, because even if I wanted to get a closer look, I can't get one.

While most of the other ponies are heading in through multiple sets of ornate double doors at the end of the hallway, some ponies that are dressed more extravagantly and held themselves in a noble fashion would held up the staircases to either side. I'm guessing that's where Cadance and I are...

"This way, Seth," Cadance directs me, indicating the staircases. Yep, that's what I almost thought, since she interrupting my thinking process. God, can't you tell when I'm thinking? Heh.

I just start walking up the stairs when I suddenly hear two voices coming from behind me. They're whispering, but I can hear them.

"What is this? When did the Orchestra start letting apes into the hall?" one of them says to the other. My fist clenches unconsciously.

"The nerve of that thing, coming into a place as high class as this."

"How filthy!"

I'm literally just about to turn around and give them a piece of my mind when another, more familiar voice greets me.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise?" A white, monocled unicorn stallion approaches me from between the two gossiping ponies, whom I recognize instantly.

"Fancy Pants?" I greet him with a hint of surprise in my voice. I had thought he was busy with a party tonight. But no, there he is, smiling at me while the other two ponies look between him and me in shock.

"Good to see you, Seth. I had no idea you couldn't make my party because you had a prior engagement with Princess Cadance," Fancy Pants returns my greeting enthusiastically, offering his hoof to shake. I take it, since I do like his manners. Then the two of us walk up the staircase together, soon catching up with Cadance, who had been watching our exchange with a curious expression on her face.

"Right, that reminds me. Weren't you supposed to be at said party? Why are you here?"

"Oh, we decided as a group that it would be a shame to miss the concert, so we adjourned early," Fancy explains with a glance to the two ponies behind him. They shake out of their shock and nod frantically, which tells me their essentially just his groupies. Lovely.

"And a top of the evening to you, your Highness," Fancy greets Cadance with a bow when we reach the top of the stairs. "How are you doing on this fine winter night?"

"Fancy Pants, what a delight to see you here! I'm doing well, how about yourself?" Cadance responds graciously, and I soon lose interest as the two of them start exchanging pleasantries.

The three of us enter the VIP seating area, which is located rather high above the concert hall. Yeah, descriptions come later, because my attention is taken up by the ponies that are in here as well.

To be more precise, Princesses Celestia and Luna are here. Yeah, that's right. Both of them. Just my fucking luck. I consider hiding behind Cadance, since she's about as tall as I am, but the moment that thought forms in my head...

"Seth? This is a surprise," Celestia says when she notices me walking through the door with Cadance and Fancy Pants. Luna gives me a terse nod in greeting, which I return.

"That makes two of us. I didn't realize that when Cadance handed me a VIP ticket, she really meant the VIP of VIPs," I grunt, giving Cadance a meaningful look. She shrugs, as if she'd just expected me to know that.

"My, you certainly know ponies in the highest of places," Fancy Pants comments, looking at me with a new respect.

"Kind of comes with being a human, I suppose," I say with a shrug.

"Why don't you come sit with my sister and I?" Celestia offers, indicating the seat next to her. I'd decline, but this area is pretty small. No matter where I'd sit, Celestia would be able to see me. I give one last look at Cadance, hoping she can help me out, but she's already moving to join Celestia.

"Ugh...fine," I relent. I pick my way through the occupied and unoccupied seats until I reach the one next to Celestia. Just like human theaters, the seats are folded back to save space when not in use. I take a seat next to Celestia, who fucking towards over me, since ponies keep most of their height when they sit, as opposed to humans. She beams down at me.

Then, all of the princesses and nobles and whatever start exchanging the usually pleasantries, though with Cadance and the two main princesses, it's a bit more affectionate.

Ignoring them, I finally take a look at the concert hall. Turns out ponies have some idea of how acoustics work, as they have all those panels and odd wall formations that are designed with sound in mind. I also see the tell tale signs of soundproofing.

The stage itself is massive, and there's tons of chairs on it, with stands and everything else that you'd expect to see at a performance like this, with a conductors podium and the like. There's the typical array of lights hanging above the stage, and right now all of them are oriented on the stage.

As for the crowd...I can't even hazard a guess as to how many ponies are here. There are like, tons of ponies in the audience, as well as the other balconies.

Oh yeah, I can also see the stage with near perfect detail, even though this box is pretty far away. It's like I'm right up there next to it. This is the weirdest thing. I'm assuming the answer is magic, so I don't bother asking. Fucking magic. At least in this case, it's beneficial to me.

"So why are both you and Luna even here?" I ask Celestia on a whim.

"Why wouldn't we be? I enjoy a good orchestra as much as the next pony," she answers reasonably. "There is another reason, however. I gave permission for the orchestra to perform a piece I wrote several centuries ago."

"Which is also why we are here. I am interested to see what my sister came up with," Luna adds, smiling.

"Hold on, you write music!?" I demand, turning to fully face her.

"Sometimes the mood strikes me, yes," Celestia replies, amused at my surprise. Okay, she just rose a few ranks on the awesome scale. Writing music is something I've always wished I could do.

"This I've gotta hear," is the last thing I say before turning back to face the front. I'm just in time too, because the orchestra is at last filing onto the stage, dressed in fancy dresses and tuxedos and carrying their instruments. I can see everything from strings to brass to woodwinds present in the group. That's not all though. Some ponies are wheeling in percussion instruments, like snare and timpani drums. Oh shit, this is going to be good, isn't it?

I actually recognize the last pony to walk on stage. It's that pony who talked to me about cellos back in the music store. I forget her name...I think it was Octavia. Yeah, that was it. So I spoke to a member of this orchestra and didn't even know it. Huh.

Octavia sets up her cello at the very front of the orchestra, just in front of the conductor, who turns out to be a dark gray pony with a styled white mane. Okay, so she's significantly more important than I thought.

The conductor climbs up onto his podium and turns on the microphone there, before turning around to address the audience. I don't really feel the need to write down his dialogue, since it was the typical crap you hear before every concert.

No, I only start paying attention when the first piece plays. It starts off with a soft repeating rhythm, accentuated by the percussion pounding in unison at regular intervals. Okay, this isn't bad. Feels like a marching tune.

A few measures later, Octavia starts to play, and there's actually a microphone next to her instrument. Wait, is she fucking soloing this part? Holy shit, she is. She plays the melody entirely on her own for the first few repetitions, before the rest of the orchestra joins in. Even then, that only lasts for a while before Octavia takes the melody again, only this time up an octave. Heh, Octavia plays an octave. Shut up.

This is rousing. Octavia is brilliant out there. Her bow is like lightning with the way she's playing this incredible fast tune. She's not the only soloist as well. There's another pony playing what looks like a french horn, and she and Octavia keep trading off the melody.

The song ends with a clashing of percussion, and the applause starts. Which is a bunch of ponies pounding the ground with their hooves. For me, I actually clap the way a normal person does, which definitely earns me some glances.

Each piece seems to be more spectacular than the last. I'm practically on the edge of my seat the whole time. Some of the songs they play bore me because they're way too slow and not much is happening, but there's not very many of them, and the songs they play next never fail to impress me.

Oh my god, I'm enjoying the hell out of this. Every piece always gets my head moving in time with the beat.

Octavia...dear god, I feel like a dick for not treating her with respect. She's ridiculous in how much talent she has. Her expression never changes from that serene one of concentration, even in this one piece where her bow never stops moving once, as the solo lasted for the whole piece and was ridiculously fast. If that song isn't called "Octavia and Accompaniment" it totally should be.

Time seems to fly by as song after song is played. Finally, after one extremely riveting song that had my blood pumping, the orchestra takes a pause.

"This is it," I hear Celestia whisper to me. Oh shit, I'm about to hear the song she wrote, aren't I? This should be good.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, we bring you to the end of our program tonight with a most special performance," the conductor announces as the applause for the last song fades away. "This next piece was written by our very own Princess Celestia!"

Gasps of shock could be heard in the crowd at this news. I can practically feel the anticipation from all the ponies around me...which I then figure out is because I can't wait to hear it myself.

"This song was written a few decades after the end of the War of Night and Day, and at long last, our Princess of the Sun has allowed us the pleasure of performing it for the first time since it's conception! We of the Royal Canterlot Orchestra bring you, Goddess of the Moon." With that, the conductor turns back to the orchestra and lifts his wand.

Luna emits a light gasp and looks at her sister in shock and awe. Suddenly it hits me. I remember hearing about the War of Night and Day in that one class with Cheerilee. Oh shit, she was referring to the fight between Celestia and Luna. How did I not understand that?

Celestia smiles warmly at her sister in response. I lean in closer just as the song begins.

The strings fade in slowly, the sound growing in volume and depth over a long period of time as more and more instruments join the growing sound. The initial melody, which is played by Octavia and a few others, is a slow, somber theme.

The rising and falling of the sound reminds me of waves of sorrow and loneliness. Each crescendo gets my blood flowing, and each decrescendo seems to cut right to my heart. I can just picture how Celestia must have felt after that long without her sister. It also gets me thinking of my own brother, wondering how he must have felt after years without me.

There's a pause in the music that the melody builds up to, and then suddenly the tone of the music changes. The cellos and contra-basses play a driving rhythm underneath a slightly faster melody, punctuated by crashes of snare drums.

It's like Celestia was trying to portray despair and the resolve to wait here. When a second melody hits, I can't help it. My eyes start to water. This is fucking amazing. I hear a sniff from the other side of Celestia as well, which I assume is Luna. I bet this is touching her a lot more than it is me.

The rousing beat disappears for a moment as Octavia takes the original melody back up, but it soon rises up again, and rises in intensity before playing the second melody again. This cycle continues for a while, possibly symbolizing how many years Celestia had to wait to see her sister again.

Finally, after a significant amount of build up, the sound stops completely for about a second, and then they slam right into the second melody one last time with such intensity that I can't hold back my emotion. This is such an amazing song. Luna thinks the same, as she is sobbing into Celestia's fur, the two of them hugging one another in a heartwarming manner. It's like this melody represents Celestia's resolve to wait for a millennia, til the day when she could see her sister again.

When the song finally ends, I notice that crying is a reaction shared by a great many of the audience. Even Cadance looks slightly teary eyed. Heh, at least it isn't just me.

The applause is thunderous, and every single one of the ponies in the audience stand up from their seats to applaud. Fuck it, they deserve it. I get to my feet and applaud as well, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Celestia, that was fucking amazing," I admit after the applause dies down, and the conductor starts addressing the crowd with the closing statements.

"Thank you, Seth. It feels surreal to hear it performed by an orchestra," Celestia responds, nuzzling her sister lovingly.

"Why did you wait so long to perform it?" I ask, even though I'd grateful that I got to hear it for myself.

"It just didn't feel right, sharing it with anypony else while my sister was still gone," Celestia admits sadly. "But, I decided that since the orchestra was performing so close to Hearth's Warming Eve, , it would be the perfect gift for my sister."

"We...I love it, Tia," Luna sobs, dropping the pluralities again and addressing Celestia with what seemed to be a pet name of some sort.

"The fuck is Hearth's Warming Eve?" I demand, and then I figure it out for myself a few seconds later. Are you kidding me? They have an equivalent to Christmas here? I mean, the first day of winter was when I figured out I have magic, and that's December 21st. So if Hearth's Warming Eve is on the same day as Christmas Eve, that would be...tomorrow.

"It's a holiday celebrating the Founding of Equestria. In commemoration of the friendship between unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, we give gifts to one another," Celestia explains. So it is just like Christmas, only with a few slight differences. "We also mark the day with our traditional Hearth's Warming Pageant, which you are of course welcome to attend."

"When is it? The day, I mean," I say, even though I already know the Eve is tomorrow.

"Four days, I believe," Celestia answers. Well, I stand corrected. I suppose it was a bit presumptuous of me to assume that it would be the same day as Christmas. The holidays were created for two different reasons, after all.

"Maybe I'll be there. Who knows? Depends on how much money it costs," I remark. I'm actually considering it because I'm really happy that I got to be at this incredible concert, and because my expectations for events here are much higher now.

"You don't have to worry about it costing more than you can afford. I designed it such that even ponies with lower incomes can come see it. After all, friendship isn't something that should only be celebrated by the wealthy," Celestia explains. Her sentiment is echoed by all of the ponies around her, including Luna, Cadance, and Fancy Pants.

"Indubitably so. Why, I not too long ago met one of the most delightful ponies from Ponyville," Fancy Pants chimes in. "Her name was...Rarity, I believe."

"Hold on, you know Rarity?" I interrupt. He nods in confirmation. Damn, is this a small country, or what? "I got these clothes from her."

"Ah, I thought I recognized her work. If anypony could make clothing fit for a human, it would be her," he replies with a smile.

"Mm, as delightful as this has been, I believe it is time for me to retire," Celestia says, covering a yawn with her hoof. "Luna, can you take things from here?"

"Of course, dear sister. And...thanks again. Twas a most lovely gift," Luna answers warmly. The two of them nuzzle one last time, and then Celestia proceeds to leave the box, with one last word of parting to me. The rest of the us leave the area not long after her.

A dumb smile is on my face as we leave. Goddamn, that was one of the best experiences I've had in Equestria so far.

---

Author's Note:

So...much...music...just this one arc has so much music. Anyway, the end of the arc is in sight. I expect it'll take about three chapters. I will, in fact, be including the canon Hearth's Warming Eve episode in this, with my own twist on it. So that should give you an idea about where in canon they are. Though I may or may not use the canon episodes after that, or I might just skip over them. Who knows? I don't.

Sorry about taking so long with this one. Writer's block hit me with a sledgehammer...and so did school. Derp. But I forced through it and gave you all an extra long chapter to compensate.

If you want to know what songs I was describing, I used Le Repos du Guerrier from Code Geass for the first, and Lunae Deae for the second.

One last thing to point out. That one unicorn in there, Ember Dawn, is actually my OC that I sometimes roleplay with. She's probably never going to show up in the story again, but I felt like giving her a cameo at least once was necessary.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think! In the meantime, I'm craving a little bread. Probably pumpernickel, because why not? ;)

A thought strikes me just before Cadance, Luna, Fancy Pants, and the other ponies I don't give a shit about leave the area entirely. "Say, I don't suppose there's anyway I could talk to Octavia, is there?" I ask, though I'm not entirely sure who I'm asking.

"I don't see why not. You might have to wait a bit, though, as the orchestra takes care of things backstage." Cadance is the one who answers, though she looking at me curiously. "I'm surprised you know who she is."

"Met her in the music store. Had no idea who she was until about an hour or so ago," I reply, still marveling that I'd met somepony that could play like that. I probably should have given her a bit more respect. "Come to think of it, what time is it?"

"Tis about ten. The night hath just begun." Luna is the one who answers that one, which I probably should have expected.

"So it's pretty late then. Guess I'll stick around for a bit, and then head back to my hotel," I say, looking at the two princesses. In other words, both of you fuck off so I can go find Octavia.

"Indeed. Regrettably, I must be on my way." Fancy Pants is the first to answer, dipping his head politely. "Seth, Princesses, I bid you good night."

"Good night, Fancy," Cadance responds to him as he walks away at a leisurely pace. Next to her, Luna spreads her wings.

"We must be off. Tis about time for us to hold Night Court," Luna announces. "Twas a pleasure seeing you both."

"I'm sure," I reply cynically just as Luna takes off. There's so much force behind her liftoff, a wall of wind rushes over me, blowing my hair back.

That just leaves Cadance and I, standing just outside of the theater. Ponies stream out of the doors just behind us, all of them probably heading home as well. I assume the orchestra members come out of a exit further back. Finding it will be a challenge.

"Thanks for coming out with me tonight," Cadance says to me softly. I grunt, not wanting to respond to that. After all, I had protested when she first asked me, and then I'd gone and enjoyed the hell out of it. "Oh, if you're hoping to catch Octavia before she leaves, circle around to the back of the theater. They come out from there."

"Thank you," I say curtly. I turn my back on her and head the way she described. And then my fucking conscience gets on to me, so I turn my head halfway to look back at her. "And Cadance...thanks for the ticket. It was fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Cadance replies with a warm smile. "You have a good night, Seth."

I watch as she takes to the air as well. Totally not fair how these fuckers can all fly. I can't wait until I learn how to do that. I don't remember much of the times when I was able to fly, and what little I do remember is shrouded by darkness and pain. With Celestia being OP as fuck and all.

I get that she needed to see my magic to make sure it was actually dark magic, but I wish...well I guess it's really my fault for giving into the insanity. Actually no, I'm blaming Celestia. Because I can, that's why. Fuck logic.

Like Cadance told me, I walk along the edge of the theater. The theater itself is tucked again a row of buildings on either side, so eventually I have to cross through a dark alley to reach the back of the theater.

Like Cadance said, there's a set of doors back here that looks similar to the front of the theater, only a bit more practical rather than fancy. Probably because there's a lot of traffic that passes through here with heavy loads. Those instruments have to get in there somehow.

Some ponies from the orchestra are already leaving. I can tell because they're wearing those tuxedos and dresses, and some of them are carrying their instruments with them. I don't see Octavia yet , so I'll wait here by the side of this building just next to the alley I just walked out of. After all, I'd probably draw attention from the entire fucking orchestra if I walk out there right now.

Oh hey, there goes their conductor. He looks particularly pleased, judging by the grin he's sporting and the way he's going around, congratulating the other ponies. I don't blame him. The performance was stunning; these ponies deserve the praise they're getting.

There she is. Octavia walks out of the theater next, carrying her cello with her in a small cart. The conductor pony sees her and immediately moves over to her. The two of them shake hooves, and the conductor says something to her that makes her smile.

Surveying the area, I decide that now's as good a time as any, since most of the orchestra has left the area.

The two of them spot me the moment I leave the shadowy area surrounding the alley. The conductor actually backs away from me as I approach. Whatever. He can do whatever he wants. I'm not here to talk to him. All you did was wave a stick around while this mare here was being a badass.

Speaking of which, Octavia obviously recognizes me, since there aren't any other humans around. She looks both confused and intrigued to see me. "Oh? You're the one from the music store," she says when I get to a reasonable distance for conversation. "The pianist, if I remember correctly."

"Unless you see any other humans around," I remark sarcastically. That actually gets a chuckle from her.

"I suppose you have a point. Nevertheless, I am surprised to see you here," Octavia admits. Behind us, the conductor, as well as a few other ponies from the orchestra, are watching our conversation with wide and curious eyes. "Do you have some business with me?"

"Well...sort of. Um, sorry for being a bit of a prick back in the music store. I didn't realize you were so talented," I tell her awkwardly.

"Thank you for the compliment, but does talent really warrant respect?" Octavia questions me, a slight twinkle in her eyes. What the...can't you just accept my apology? What is this bullshit?

"It does when you can play like that," I reply. "I always hold some respect for talented musicians."

"But my ability to produce music says nothing about how I am as an pony," Octavia points out, much to my irritation. "Isn't that what one should respect?"

"Can't you just accept my fucking apology? Are you trying to make me hate you?" I snap at her.

"Of course not. You must understand, I am well respected as a musician; it's a sentiment I'm not unfamiliar with," Octavia explains. "But would you be satisfied if somepony respected you only for your ability to play music, and not as an individual?"

That's...surprisingly deep. It reminds me of how history used to treat musicians. They were invited into royal courts if they just shut up and played music. But the moment they opened their mouths, they were thrown out and ridiculed. She has a very good point.

"You have a point. So I probably seem like another of those ponies, don't I?" I respond ruefully. Somehow I fucked this up, even though all I wanted to do was tell her she played well.

Octavia smiles reassuringly at me. "I wouldn't say so. I told you this because I believed you would understand, as a fellow musician," she explains.

You know, I've spoken to this pony twice now, and already I can tell she has some kind of emotional depth. I mean, musicians generally tend to have more emotional depth than the typical person because of what they do, but Octavia just cemented that with those words. Okay, so maybe she's worth talking to.

"I suppose. But even so, I came to find you because I wanted you to know I appreciated your playing," I reiterate. I sound cheesy as fuck when I say it like that, but she's beaming, so I assume she appreciates it.

"Your praise humbles me. You are also an excellent musician. I only wish I'd have had time to tell you back at the store," Octavia expresses with a dip of her head.

I scratch the back of my head, somewhat embarrassed. "Yeah, I wasn't staying in there...I probably shouldn't have gone in there to begin with."

"Why ever not?"

"Because it's an expensive thing to like! I don't have the money to invest into being a musician all over again," I snap. Yeah, the piano I had cost a shit ton of money to buy back in my time. And now the money I had before means nothing.

"So you left because you know it's not something you can indulge in frequently?" Octavia states, attempting to make sure she understood. Yup, that's hitting the nail right on the head. I give her a nod in response. It was cruel of me to tease myself with something I can't have. It's not surprising I felt like shit afterward.

"Hm..." Octavia muses. "There has to be some solution."

"Maybe, maybe not. But I didn't come here to moan my situation, nor do I expect you to care," I grunt, crossing my arms. Octavia blinks as I turn my back on her and start to leave the area. "I came here to tell you I enjoyed your performance. That's all."

"Wait!" Octavia catches up with me quickly, bringing her cart with her. I don't stop walking, but neither does she. "I think I understand."

"You what?"

"About how you must feel. I...remember a time when I was unable to practice my music," Octavia continues. I scoff derisively, but I stop and look back at her anyway. "It was miserable. Like I had all of these feelings bottled up that I couldn't express through music."

"Really? Do all ponies just spill whatever they're feeling to random strangers?" I retort, even though I understand what she's saying.

"Don't you feel the same way?" Octavia asks, seemingly ignoring my scathing words. Can we not have a soul searching conversation? I just wanted to compliment you, dammit. If I have to go through so much trouble to act even a little nice, I'm starting to wonder why I should even bother.

"What if I do? It shouldn't matter to you, anyway." Please shut up. The next thing I know, you're going to be offering to help me, and then I'll have to shut you down.

"But it does! During that period in my life, I would have liked somepony to reach out to me with an answer," Octavia protests. "So I want to be able to do that for you."

"No. I'll come up with an answer myself," I tell her flatly.

"At our rehearsal hall, there's a small area that's open to the public, including practice rooms," Octavia continues as if she hadn't heard me.

"Did you not hear..."

"There is a room with a piano in it. I could check and see if there's an open reservation for it," Octavia offers. "How long are you going to be in the city?"

"About three days. But the answer is still no. I can't pay for reservations for a damn practice room," I answer her.

"You won't have to. These practice rooms are public property," Octavia informs me. Now that gets my attention. Free practice rooms? My college didn't even do that. "The reservations are necessary to ensure that all ponies have an equal chance to use them."

"That's...huh. Free medical care, and free practice rooms at the capitol of Equestria?" I state with a hint of disbelief in my voice. Octavia smiles at me in a reassuring manner."Why am I starting to believe that this is too good to be true?"

"Why would it be? The cost of the practice rooms were included in the cost of building the hall in the first place. They don't cost much to maintain, and as such there's no cost to use them," Octavia explains to me.

"I keep expecting this time to be as cutthroat as mine. Seriously, how many times am I going to be proven wrong?" I complain. If it had been my time, it wouldn't matter how cheap it was to have rooms like that. The administration would still charge money for it because they fucking could. Welcome to capitalism.

"As many times as you have expectations, I suppose," Octavia responds cleverly, lifting her head and looking proud of herself.

"Right," I acknowledge with a flat-browed expression. "Fuck it, why not. Go ahead and look for me."

"Excellent!" Octavia adopts a pleased expression. "Now then, I don't believe I caught your name."

"Because I never gave it," I return. Octavia waits patiently. I notice she hasn't been flinching much at my rude words anymore. "I'm Seth Rogers."

"A pleasure, Seth Rogers." Octavia extends her hoof with a warm smile on her face. "My name is Octavia Melody."

---

I step into the hotel lobby at around midnight, my hands in my pockets. I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I suppose if anypony were to ask, the first thing that would come to mind would be "exhausted."

But now I have a chance to play music again before I leave for Ponyville again. I'm not sure when it will be, but Octavia had assured me that she would do whatever it took to get me a reservation.

Seriously, these fucking ponies keep confusing me. I'd only met her the once, and I was an ass to her. I don't understand why she's going to all this effort to make me happy. I mean, I had thought it would be an inconvenience for her to do this, but she kept assuring me that it would only take her a moment to check the books and write my name down.

Another thing bugs me about her. The way she acts and the way she talks are two different things. She's a celebrity, and she talks like a noble, but she acts like a typical girl. I'd expected her to be a bit more full of herself, since most celebrities are. It's like every time I make a negative assumption about this world, the world punches me in the face with evidence suggesting otherwise.

Royalty being corrupt? Nope. Ponies not caring if I got myself killed? Nope. Medical bills putting me into debt for eternity? Nope. Celebrities being full of themselves? Fucking nope. See where I'm coming from here?

Part of me is actually starting to wonder whether this time is actually better than my own. I'm still not sure, because every time I try to compare the two, I always think of my friend and family first, and that always gets me confused.

Well, I'm done thinking about this. I enter the stairwell of the hotel, resigning myself to climb several flights of stairs before I reach the third floor. That's one thing better about my time and this one. We have elevators...actually, nevermind. An elevator nearly killed me when I got to this time. Fuck elevators.

So I'll probably be seeing Octavia here at some point over these three days. With the ponies not having cellphones and all, I actually had to tell her where to find me. I told her to find me at this hotel in the early mornings and late nights, but I also mentioned the bar where Vinyl and I would be setting up, since we'll be there for a significant portion of this Canterlot trip.

Now then...this is floor three, I think. Yeah, there's the plaque on the wall that tells me as such. It looks like it's made of brass. Despite the fact that Rainbow said this place was "easily affordable," it seems suspiciously nice to me, what with the brass plaques, red carpets, and good service. I mean, I could just chalk it up to being a Canterlot hotel, but still...

Whatever. I'm too tired to care at the moment. My bare feet, which are dirty as fuck thanks to the fact that I don't have any fucking shoes, sink into the plush carpets in the hallway. "349, 350, 351, and 352. Here it is," I whisper to myself, counting off the room numbers until I found the room Rainbow told me about.

I fish out the key Rainbow handed me earlier and unlock the door to reveal a pitch black room...which means they're probably both asleep by now. I make sure to keep quiet as I step inside and shut the door.

Sure enough, I can hear them snoring softly. What I can't see is anything else. Waiting a few seconds should fix that. Soon, I can see just barely enough to make out the basic features of the room. There are two beds, a fact that makes my right eye twitch. What the hell was Rainbow thinking, putting us in a room with only two beds?! Did she expect me to sleep with one of them?

I am literally about to lose my temper. However...hang on, the snoring seems to be coming all from one place, and there's two separate sets of snores. Squinting, I make out Rainbow and Vinyl snuggling together in the bed to my left.

My anger fades away slowly, to be replaced by a smirk. If only I could take a picture of this. Bet Rainbow would be scandalized to see how adorable she looks like this. Sucks that I don't have a camera anymore.

"Heh, thanks for the bed," I say softly, even though they can't hear me. Since they're both asleep, I undress without a second thought. These clothes still feel new, so I make sure to fold them carefully. Except for the boxers. Those I'm wearing to bed.

I consider taking a shower but then decide against it. I'll take a shower in the morning. Though I have no clue what I'm doing in the morning before Vinyl's first performance.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. With that thought squared away, I hop into the bed that was meant just for me. It's been one hell of a long day. Between getting here, meeting (and consequently getting the shit beaten out of me by) Celestia, getting to play a piano again, and that concert, I feel like it's been longer than just one day. Kind of like in Dragon Ball, only less bullshit.

I turn over and cover myself with the blankets. I'm exhausted, so it isn't long before I fall asleep.

---

I'm actually allowed to wake up on my own for once. At first, as I open my eyes to see sunlight streaming in through the window, I think I overslept. That thought alone is enough to get me to sit up, chilly air impacting my shirtless torso as the covers slide down my front.

No, I guess it's still pretty early, because Vinyl and Rainbow are still fast asleep. I wonder why my internal clock decided to wake me up now. Glancing at the clock situated just above the door, I discover that it's about 8 in the morning...and that's why I woke up this early. My fucking body doesn't realize I don't have that class anymore.

Well, as long as they're asleep, I'll take this opportunity to shower and get dressed. They'll surely be awake by the time I get out.

---

Thirty minutes later, I'm out and dressed in that same outfit I got from the castle. I don't really have any other clothes with me, so this is all I've got. Eh, it smells fine, so whatever. It's not like they have laundry machines in this day and age. Or maybe they do, and they're just run by magic. Because the technological standards in this time are ridiculously complicated. We have computers, but not laundry machines.

Turns out Rainbow and Vinyl are still asleep. Really? The running water and moving around didn't wake any of you up? Sheesh, they sleep like rocks.

That reminds me...Rainbow. Like pinching my nose while I slept, or biting my hand. A grin crosses my face as the perfect idea comes to mind. This oughta knock them for a loop.

I stalk over to the side of their bed and squat down, bending my knees. I hook my arms underneath the frame of the bed. It seems heavy, but I do remember how to channel my magic...ish.

Aww, look at the two of them. They look so cute and precious, sleeping together like that. It would be a shame if...someone...were to flip over their bed.

"Rise and shine, motherfuckers!" I shout loudly, standing up and channeling a tiny bit of magic into my arms, which gives me the strength to flip the bed entirely over, hurling the two no longer sleeping ponies onto the floor.

"What the..." Rainbow gasps.

"Waaah!" Vinyl cries out. The two of them tumble end over end until they hit the wall in a jumble of tangled ponies

I double over, laughing my ass off at the sight of them extricating themselves from one another, now wide awake and not very happy with me.

"Seth, you jerk...is it so hard for you to wake a pony normally?" Rainbow demands, though she doesn't seem altogether that angry.

"Yup! How does revenge feel, you technicolor freak?" I gloat, replacing the bed back in its original position.

"Why am I involved in your prank war?" Vinyl moans, but neither of us pay her any attention.

"Oh, now you're asking for it, you blasted monkey!" Rainbow retorts, followed by an adorable growl. Then, to my shock, she bounds over the bed and tackles me around the middle, bearing me to the floor. "C'mere!"

The two of us go tumbling across the floor together, though I'm still laughing. We wrestle one another playfully, even though it's clear Rainbow has the edge over me physically.

A few moments later, Rainbow has me pinned on the ground, grinning. "You have a long way to go before you can beat me in a wrestling match!" she brags.

"Clearly," I pant, though I'm still enjoying myself. Just then, a mischievous expression crosses Rainbow's face.

"Now then, let's see how you like your mane being messed with!" is all the warning I get before Rainbow's two front hooves plunge into my hair, messing up all the work I did to groom it after my shower.

"Oh, you bitch!" I complain, but I already have an idea on how to turn the tables. I reach up my head and lightly bite her just above her hoof. Rainbow withdraws her hoof, looking at me incredulously.

"Did you just bite me?" Rainbow demands. My grin grows wider.

"Oh please, that was just a nip. Maybe you should keep your hooves out of a man's hair," I retort. Rainbow's eyes widen when she realizes I'd returned her words from yesterday right back at her.

"Well played, Seth," Rainbow admits, and I laugh. Meanwhile, Vinyl is sitting on her haunches on the other side of the room, looking amused.

"Okay, lovebirds. You want to get off each other, or should I go rent another room?" Vinyl jokes, which makes me realize that Rainbow and I are in a very awkward position. Ugh, how the fuck did I not even notice this? Eh, whatever. Vinyl's just being a troll, as always.

Rainbow immediately hops off of me, allowing me to get to my feet. "Fuck you, Vinyl," I remark.

"No thanks. That's what you've got Rainbow there for," she returns, grinning wider. And she's still making those damn jokes. She's like my mother. And...this is an odd parallel to draw. I'm gonna stop right there.

"Would you stop it with that?!" Rainbow and I both snap at the same time, causing a creepy unison to occur. Vinyl promptly falls over laughing.

"Whoa, that was creepy," Rainbow remarks. She's taking all these earthy jokes pretty well, even if they are getting a bit annoying.

"Okay. I'm done with this. If you don't mind, I'm going to take a moment to redo my hair, since it's all messed up thanks to a certain pony here," I respond, tapping Rainbow on the side of the head, which in turn causes her to nip at me. "Down girl."

Still chuckling, I walk into the bathroom again and grab the comb. That was pretty fun, even if Vinyl was being a damn troll with her sex jokes. Those are the worst. You'd think she'd have learned when I said that those jokes have to have a basis on which to be formed, one that doesn't exist. I wouldn't ever...okay, I'll stop thinking about this before I start visualizing it. Which would be the worst.

It only takes me a few minutes to fix my hair again and step back outside, where Vinyl and Rainbow are talking about something. They stop immediately they see me, which makes me slightly suspicious. What the hell were they talking about? "What?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing, bro. We were just talking about the plan for today," Vinyl responds somewhat hastily. Okay, now that's even more suspicious. "Right Rainbow?"

"Yeah, that was totally it," Rainbow adds in an equally dubious manner. Eh, whatever. It's not really my business what they talk about, as long as it isn't about me. I give a shrug.

"Right, I think I should be involved in this conversation as well. What exactly is the itinerary for today?" I say, taking their excuse and rolling with it.

"Hm, well the only deadline we've got for today and the next two days is that we have to be at the bar at 4 with my stuff to set it all up," Vinyl informs us. Four huh, that's pretty early. Well, I guess it will take a while to set things up, as well as eat dinner, and all that. Speaking of dinner, if I keep paying my bits, I'll have to rely entirely on the pay for these three gigs to pay my rent the next time we're in Ponyville.

"That's perfect! The Wonderbolts Air Show ends around then, so we'll be right on time, right Seth?" Rainbow exclaims, looking at me hopefully. Hang on, what?

"Wait, I'm going to that?" I question.

"Duh! I have two tickets! I've only been talking about since you invited me on this trip!" Rainbow affirms. Vinyl looks at me with a worried expression.

"And...how much were these tickets?" I say calmly, even though I'm annoyed that she bought a ticket for me without asking me first.

"Nah, don't worry about that. I got it all covered," Rainbow assures me. Vinyl's worried look becomes a grimace, and she looks down at the floor.

"I'm not going then."" Rainbow looks at me in shock as I tell her that, my arms crossed. "If you won't let me pay for myself, I'm not going."

"Are you seriously...ugh, can't you just come?" Rainbow responds exasperatedly.

"No. I'm not letting you pay for me. End of story." I tell her flatly. It's still too early for me to trust her like that. There's still a chance she could start using favors to control me.

"Seth, I'm not paying for you. I'm paying for you to be there with me," Rainbow asserts, getting up and looking at me. "Can't you just forget about favors and stuff just this once?"

"No, I'm not going to forget! What do you get out of me being there? Nothing, as far as I can tell. And nobody does something for nothing," I shoot back.

"You idiot! Of course I get something from you being there!" Rainbow actually takes to the air so she can look me in the eyes.

"Yeah, the chance to use..."

"The chance to enjoy one of my favorite things with my friend!" Rainbow's shout cuts across me, and I'm rendered speechless. She sighs before continuing. "I'm not just giving you money. If you really want to make me say it..."

"Go ahead. I doubt there's anything you can say to change my mind."

"I'm paying for happiness! My happiness! That's what I get out of this!" Rainbow yells in my face. My eyes widen at her declaration. "If you are at the show with me, it would make me happy! What would I do with debt? You can't pay, and I have no need for favors from you."

"How...how can I believe that? That's what J...what the rest keep telling me," I stammer. I really want to believe that she's telling the truth, but...I won't let another Janna happen. She acted all nice and warm, but the moment I was in too deep, I was under her control. Admittedly...Janna never fought this hard to convince me...but...

"Faith, Seth! Sometimes you have to take things on faith," Rainbow returns, never once looking away from my eyes.

"Faith? Faith is bullshit. That's like telling me to accept something without giving me proof. I need proof, Rainbow!"

"You're not going to get it! This isn't something you can prove!" Rainbow's heartfelt words spark several memories from me.

"Perhaps to one such as you, my view point may indeed seem naïve. But if there's one thing I've learned from my long years of life, it's that everyone deserves a chance, no matter who they are."

But...I can't...there's no way to be sure...

"There's always one or two individuals that are worth knowing, correct? How can you find out if I am one of them if you don't take a chance on me?"

I reach up and hold my head in my hands, conflicted on what to do.

"Dammit, Seth. You can't fucking prove I'm out to get you, so get over yourself. We're friends, right? How's it fair that I'm the only one taking a chance?"

Amaryllis...goddammit...why did I have to remember that now? Slowly, finally, I lower my hands. I don't know if this is going to backfire on me or not, but...

"All right," I say softly. Rainbow blinks, as if she didn't believe what she'd just heard. "I'll go to the air show with you."

"Really?" Rainbow asks uncertainly, yet with a hint of hope in her voice.

"Yeah. If it's that important to you, I can...get over myself and tag along."

Rainbow looks at me, dumbfounded for a few seconds, and then a smile slowly forms on her face. "Yeah! WOOHOO!" she cheers exultantly, flipping backwards in midair again and again, until she accidentally slams into the wall on the opposite side of the room. "Oof!"

Vinyl, who had been sitting awkwardly in the back of the room throughout this entire argument, finally breaks into a grin. She proceeds to slip on her shades and nod, as if to say "Yup, I knew this was going to happen."

Rainbow flies back onto the floor just in front of me, looking the happiest that I've seen her all trip. It's enough to make me feel less shitty about giving in. "Yeah, I can't wait! You're going to love it, I promise! The Wonderbolts are soooo awesome!"

"Can't say I've been to one of their shows before, but I know Rainbow's nuts about them," Vinyl agrees. She walks over to me and places a hoof on my leg. "Thanks for this. I know it can't be easy."

"Oh shut up, before I change my mind," I growl at her, but I'm smiling despite that. Vinyl grins once more, and then she suddenly sprints into the bathroom.

"First one in the shower gets the soap first!" Vinyl yells happily. Rainbow ceases her celebration to stare at her in mock anger.

"Oh, I don't think so!" Rainbow zooms into the bathroom so fast I can swear I see an actual rainbow trail behind her. The door shuts afterward, and it isn't long before I can hear the shower turn on. Right, ponies bathe together. I forgot about that.

---

When Vinyl and Rainbow emerge, they look much cleaner, though their manes are as messy as ever.

Heh, I can't believe this. Literally I'm hanging with two tomboys, and it's rather fun. Tomboys have always been awesome, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised I've been befriended by one. It's weird though. Rainbow is a lot like Amaryllis. The similarities are striking: that I don't give a fuck attitude, that love of metal, and the way she approaches problems. It's almost uncanny at times. Of course, the only thing that detracts from that image is that fucking rainbow mane.

"We're done. Your turn, Seth!" Vinyl announces, revealing the open bathroom door, from which steam is billowing. Heh, looks like they took a hot shower.

"Nah, I've already taken one. I did before I woke your lazy asses up," I inform them.

"Really? I wonder why it didn't wake me up?" Vinyl muses, stalking over to her bed and putting on her shades again.

"Because you sleep like a rock," Rainbow teases.

"You didn't wake up either!" Vinyl's retort causes the two of them to laugh in a friendly manner. God, they're both idiots.

"So where are we eating breakfast? Does the fee for the hotel include meals?" I ask, interrupting their stupidity.

"I don't think they do. At least, I didn't see any mention of meals on the receipt," Rainbow answers.

"I didn't see any dining areas on the way up last night," Vinyl adds. "We might have to go out to eat again."

"It's a good thing I'm getting paid for this, because all my spending money is going down the drain," I lament, peering down at the bag at my side where all my bits are in. My the end of this trip, I'm going to be broke as all hell. "Got an idea of where to go?"

"I know a place. If I remember right, there's a pretty sweet breakfast place only a few blocks from here," Vinyl recalls. She opens the door with her magic, obviously ready to go. "Let's get moving. We'll come back here and get my stuff at around four."

"Sounds good. Let's hurry before I starve to death," I remark.

"Don't be a drama queen," Rainbow shoots back, nudging me with a grin.

"Fuck you."

Heh, well. This has been an interesting start to the day. Here's hoping that my foolhardy gamble pays off, and that Rainbow really is worth trusting.

---

Author's Note:

So...stuff happened in this chapter. Lots of stuff. It's a bit shorter than my typical chapter, but I wanted to end it here, before going into the whole air show. then again, it's not too much shorter.

I'm enjoying the hell out of writing Rainbow and Seth interacting. It's great that I can just type whatever comes to mind, and it works for them. Lots of Octavia too. To clarify, I did not use any fanon interpretation when creating her character. I decided to reconstruct her personality based on another friend of mine who plays a cello. Then I added class, because said friend has none. (Yeah, you know who you are xD)

As always, leave a comment and tell me what you think! In the meantime, I'm going to go eat some corn chips. :D

You know, I can'thelp but notice how fucking happy Rainbow looks as we leave the hotel. There's a noticeable spring in her step, in addition to a bright smile on her face that has yet to fade. Part of me wishes I'd never given in the way I did. This whole thing feels like a bad idea. If there's one thing I learned about sentient beings, it's that they're good at hiding their selfish or immoral desires from others until the exact moment they know nobody can say anything against it. Take anybody in power for example. They act all benevolent and kind until they're elected, and then they start fucking things up, because they know nobody can do anything about it.

So I have this nagging feeling that I should reconsider my decision and ditch these two somehow until much later, but on the other hand, some part of me doesn't want to hurt Rainbow. Just look at her and the way she's walking. She's excited as all hell. I don't think I could bring myself to ruin that for her. Though why she wants to go with me so badly is beyond me entirely.

"Here we are!" Vinyl declares, stopping in front of a building, upon which is scribbled more Equestrian, but I can tell it's a breakfast place, because there's the image of pancakes engraved on the identifying sign. "I've only been here once before, but I remember it being pretty sweet."

"Awesome. Now let's stop talking about it and go inside," I reply shortly, feeling my stomach cry out for food. "Food is good."

"Heh, I hear that, bro. Let's see how long the wait will be," Vinyl responds, and then the three of us walk into the restaurant.

And I thought that one restaurant back in Ponyville was fancy. It really has nothing on this. The place is pretty large and mostly comprised of booths, where the size of the seats are larger than normal. That's probably because ponies have to sit on their haunches, so they need a little bit more room. The place also looks twice as large as it really is, because on one wall, there's a line of mirrors.

"Welcome. How many will I be seating today?" A dressed up stallion unicorn greets us when we walk up to the counter. To his credit, he doesn't freak out much upon seeing me. Instead, he just gives me a cursory glance for a few seconds before focusing on Vinyl, who is at the forefront of our little group.

"Three, please," Vinyl replies. With an acknowledging hum, the stallion's horn lights up and he brings a clipboard over to himself. After scanning it, he smiles at us.

"You're in luck. We just had a table open up a few moments ago. If you'll come with me?" he informs us. Aw sweet, no waiting. That's good, because I'm hungry. I think I might have already mentioned that. Blah, I want food.

"Yeah, lead the way!" Rainbow says. The stallion nods and leads us through the restaurant. Once again, I attract the attention of practically all of the ponies whose tables we pass. The wooden partitions that give the ponies in the booths some privacy are rather high, so I can't really be seen unless I walk past them.

The stallion brings us to a booth somewhere in the vicinity of the far right corner. He places three menus down on the tabletop, as well as three coasters. "There you go, fillies and sir. There will be somepony here with you shortly. Have a nice day," he informs us. I can't help but snort at how he addresses me. He has no idea what I am, so he used a respectful title that would work regardless of species. Again, points for professionalism.

Vinyl slides into the booth on one side, and Rainbow does the same on the other. Without really thinking about it, I slide in next to Rainbow.

With a deadpan expression, I slide the menu in front of me over to Vinyl. I don't think I even need to mention how annoying this is getting.

"Oh yeah," Vinyl remarks. "I keep forgetting you can't read."

"Yup, thanks for pointing it out. Now tell me what's good on that thing."

"I'm totally getting the dandelion pancakes. I eat them all the time in Ponyville," Rainbow declares after scanning the menu for a few seconds. She proceeds to lick her lips ravenously. "I can't wait to taste how awesome they are!"

"Right...fucking dandelions. What's on there that's edible for humans, Vinyl?" I grunt. I doubt they have any bacon. Goddammit, just thinking about that makes me crave bacon.

"Hm, you said you can't eat flowers or hay, so that rules out over half of this menu," Vinyl muses aloud, her eyes tracing down the page. I roll my eyes at that. Fucking ponies and their plant food. "There's just normal wheat pancakes here with maple or fruit syrup..."

"Ooh, that sounds good. I haven't had pancakes since I had breakfast with Twilight, and then I couldn't focus on them because she was being a bitch."

"There's also eggs and hash-browns, different kinds of omelet, Prench toast...oh, and then there's..."

"Hold on, stop," I cut across Vinyl, causing her to look up from the menu and gaze at me in confusion. "Go back, what was that last thing you said?"

"What, Prench toast?" she repeats. My right eye starts to twitch.

"Are you sure it's not...'French' toast?"

"Nah, bro, it's definitely Prench." I let my head fall to the surface of the table, groaning. Prench. Really?

"Does that mean there's a place called Prance?" I conjecture, hoping that I'm wrong with all of my heart. Vinyl's nod crushes that hope like a steamroller. I have to laugh at how stupid that is. "Fucking ponies and their horse puns!"

"You all right there?" Rainbow questions, though she's smiling.

"Fucking no...but eh, what the hell. I'll get some...snrk...'Prench' toast," I reply, deciding not to care after all. I'm too hungry to attempt to analyze dumb pony puns.

A mare drops by a few minutes later, asking about drinks and shit. Since we've pretty much already decided what we want, we order our drinks as well as our food. Waitresses love customers that know what they want, so she left with a smile.

"So basically my day is just going to be eat, watch a bunch of flying ponies, and then set up musical shit?" I say after our drinks get here. I just went with water, because I don't really feel like other drinks hydrate you as much as water does.

"Yeah, pretty much," Vinyl responds. "As for me, I'm thinking about heading to the Nature Preserve after breakfast. "

"Seth, they're not just any flying ponies. They're the Wonderbolts! Nopony can compare in terms of sheer flying skill!" Oh shit, I just got Rainbow started, didn't I? When am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut?

"So you've been saying. Still, I can't see how watching them will be all that interesting."

"Of course not, you wouldn't know; you haven't seen them before. They're just so awesome!" Rainbow proceeds to make a really ridiculous looking expression where she holds her face with her two front hooves. Vinyl chuckles at her expression, while I just deadpan. I swear, she's way too cheerful at times.

"I'm sure. And what about the rest of this trip? What do we have planned for the next two days, before the performances?"

"Dude, I don't have a clue. I feel like we should just roll with whatever we think up. I don't have anything really planned until the third day," Vinyl informs me.

"Why, what do you have planned on the third day?"

"The Hearth's Warming Pageant, of course! There's no way I'm missing that," Vinyl exclaims as if it was obvious. Oh, yeah, that's right. The day after all of our performances, there's that pageant thing that Celestia wants me to go to. Well, technically she "invited" me to go, but that means she wants me there. "Oh wait, you don't know what that is, do you?"

"No, I do. Celestia explained it to me last night," I tell her. "Don't expect any gifts from me though. I don't have any money."

"Ah, don't sweat it. It's a bit presumptuous of us to expect anything from you this soon after hearing about it, anyway," Vinyl assures me. Shit, that reminds me. They aren't going to try and get me any gifts, are they? I don't know how I feel about that.

"All right, good. Also, don't be getting me anything either. At least, not anything I can't pay you back for," I warn them, deciding it was probably better to be safe than sorry. Judging by how they're flinching, I think it was a good idea.

"You know that...kills the point of Hearth's Warming, right?" Vinyl reminds me. I mean, she's technically right, but nobody apart from my family or Amaryllis generally gave me gifts on Christmas. These ponies are my friends, not family.

…Wait just a fucking minute. Did I just think of Vinyl as a friend? Well, now that my mind's on, it, let's think about this.

"Uh, Seth?" Vinyl asks, looking perplexed as I stare at her in an appraising manner.

"Shut up, I'm thinking," I snap at her, and she does so, still confused. Hm, Vinyl hasn't exactly done wrong by me since I met her, and I've known her longer than I've known Rainbow. But, neither has she done anything out of the ordinary, like saving my life or trying to reach me when I was in danger. She's given me a place to stay and a source of income (though not as much as Applejack), with no strings attached.

Hm, I'm not willing to acknowledge her as a friend just yet. But...neither will I say it's impossible. I guess I'll put her on a sort of "friend probation," as dumb as that sounds. I need just a little more time before I decide that she's friend material.

It's weird. I've only been in this world for maybe two weeks (I may be wrong, but I lost track of time), but already I have as almost many friends as I did in my time, if you count my parents, Adam, and Amaryllis.

"Seth?" Vinyl says again.

"I said, I'm thinking!" Vinyl ignores me and points a hoof at the table.

"Yes, well, think while eating." That gets me to look at the table, where my food is now ready and waiting to be eaten. I wonder when that got here?"

"Oh. Sounds good to me." I take a bite of the Prench toast (God, I can't get over how fucking dumb these horse puns are), and discover that it tastes very much like what I remember, to my delight. Excellent. "Oh dear lord, this is amazing."

Rainbow digs into her pancakes with very little delicacy. Sheesh, I feel like if I were to look up "lady-like" in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of her face with a fucking red line through it. Not that I mind. I actually can't stand the female stereotype.

"Anyway, back to what you were saying. So what's so important about this pageant anyway?" I broach the subject again. I take a drink right after I finish speaking.

Vinyl and Rainbow exchange looks, as if they know something I don't. "Trust me," Vinyl answers with a knowing grin. "You want to be there. Even if you don't like it, I guarantee you'll get a kick out of it. You see, it's because Rai..."

Suddenly an ice cube hits Vinyl right on the tip of her snout, causing her to emit a very hilarious squeak and recoil indignantly. I cover my mouth and laugh when I see Rainbow attempting to look innocent. "What? My hoof slipped," Rainbow asks as if nothing was wrong. Vinyl glares at Rainbow, and then suddenly all of the ice cubes levitate out of her cup and hover in midair. "I mean...um...wahh!"

Rainbow yelps as Vinyl magically directs all of those ice cubes back at Rainbow like a cloud of bullets. Unable to stop myself, I gasp for air and proceed to laugh harder.

"How are you doing over...here...well," the waitresses comments as she returns to check on us. She gives us a very disapproving look when she sees Rainbow covered in ice cubes.

"She started it!" Rainbow and Vinyl both accuse at the same time, pointing hooves at one another. A mirthful smile is on my face as I facepalm at their dumb bullshit.

"I'll...just go get you some refills," the waitress decides, and then she leaves us behind, probably thinking we're beyond saving.

---

When we're finished with our food, Vinyl, Rainbow, and I pay the fees for the meal and leave the restaurant behind. I now have four bits left. It's a good thing I'm getting paid tonight, else I wouldn't be able to eat for more than one meal for the rest of this trip.

"Ah, that was good. I am so full," Rainbow proclaims, rubbing her filled stomach with a hoof. Then she looks over to me. "You ready to go, Seth? The air show is going to start soon."

"Yeah, okay. I hope it's everything you say it is. Wouldn't want you to waste your money on something I won't like," I say, though I can't help but tease her slightly.

"No, no, it's gonna be great, I promise!" Rainbow assures me, getting all excited again. "Oh Celestia, I can't wait! They perfected a new trick recently that I really really wanna see!"

"Oh, what, are they gonna do a little twirl? Holy, shit, the novelty!" I gasp in mock awe. My sarcasm earns me a double hooves shove from Rainbow that nearly knocks me over. "Okay, I may have deserved that one."

"Dear Celestia, you two crack me up," Vinyl chuckles next to us. Then she splits off from the two of us, waving a hoof. "I'll see the two of you later. Remember, be at the bar at four, you hear me?"

"You got it! See ya Vinyl!" Rainbow responds, waving back.

"Later," is my bored response. Soon, Vinyl disappears around a street corner, leaving Rainbow and I alone in the midst of the Canterlot morning crowds. Or just the Canterlot crowds. I haven't been here long enough to know how the typical traffic works. "Well, Rainbow, I assume you know the way?"

"Heck yeah! I've only been there like, a million times!" Rainbow brags, her excitement as high as ever. Apparently it's high enough to warrant hyperbole, which is a bit excessive, if you ask me. "Wait, we've actually already passed it at one point this trip."

"Passed what, the arena for the air show? I mean, I assume it's in an arena."

"Close enough. But yeah, it was that place we passed on the way to the shops. You know, with the track of clouds?"

"Oh yeah...that place that doesn't make any sense because clouds don't stay in one place like that, but..." I recall, remembering the arena built into the side of the mountain we passed earlier. "It's probably magic, right?"

"Yup!" Rainbow supplies helpfully. I heave a sigh. You know, I bet if anybody else had been transported this world, they'd probably be ecstatic about the fact that's there all this magical shit. Not me. I'd kill to have a normal world that made sense. "Come on, we're almost there."

---

I hear the arena before I see it. It sounds like this air show is pretty popular. I can hear the dull roar of excited chatter and conversation emanating from just around the corner.

Unlike yesterday, when the arena had been totally empty, there's a veritable crowd of ponies streaming in through the front entrance. This entrance consists of a small shaded archway in which there are several ticket booths, where ponies are lined up to buy their tickets.

There seems to be several turnstiles as well that block the way into the arena itself. In front of each of them are official looking ponies dressed in the typical Wonderbolt colors, though they don't look like they're part of the actual flying team. Those colors are probably just their way of standing out and showing spirit all at the same time.

"You said you bought your tickets in advance, right?" I say to Rainbow, raising my voice slightly to be heard over the crowd of ponies that we're approaching.

"You bet! There's no way I'm waiting in that line," Rainbow answers proudly, pointing a hoof at the ever growing line for tickets. "They're probably gonna sell out soon."

"Are they really all that popular?" I have to ask, despite the fact that I probably already know the answer. They are performing (if that's the right word) in Canterlot, after all.

Rainbow's excitement is practically palpable at this point as she answers. "Totally! Just look at that crowd! They're the best fliers in Equestria, and everypony knows it!" Her words cause me to notice that we've just about reached the turnstiles, to the point where I can see the seats...and holy shit they are cram packed. There's hardly any open seating there as far as I can see. Sheesh, you'd think these ponies were here to see a football game.

"Right..." I reply, unable to think of anything else to say to that. With that, the two of us filter our way into the line of ponies heading for the turnstiles.

"Take this," Rainbow orders, passing me a small slip of rigid paper. I take it from her. I can't read what it says, but I'm sure it's the ticket to get in. Since I'm in front of her in the line, I'll be the first one to encounter the ticket-takers.

The other ponies in the line display mixed reactions to me. Some edge away in disgust. Others watch me curiously. A few attempt to get my attention, but I ignore them, pretending that the sound of the crowd drowns them out...even though I can hear Rainbow perfectly fine. What can I say? I could really care less about these generic ponies.

"Your...um...ahem," the ticket-taker who's supervising this particular line stops in the middle of his bored greeting upon seeing me. Her eyes widen as she looks me over.

"Just take my damn ticket and let me in," I demand impatiently, shoving the ticket at her. She takes it from me, looking a little shell-shocked. Thankfully she doesn't try to stop me when I push through the turnstile.

Then I realize I'd gone through without knowing where our seat is. I don't know if you're assigned a seat like most major sports games, or if you can just choose your own. Oh well, I'll just wait for Rainbow.

"This way, Seth. Our seat's further down," Rainbow directs me, moving past me in a manner that suggests she knows what she's doing. I follow her wordlessly down the rocky bleachers, until at last she takes me down a particular row, through the ponies that are already sitting there. Unlike my time, we don't have to squeeze past them, since most ponies sit on their haunches and don't take up most of the row, so we can move along behind them. I must say, it's better than shoving people's legs out of my way. Rainbow stops at two empty spots in the mass of spectator ponies. "Right here."

I sit down gingerly on the carved rock steps...and realize that this air show is going to be a real bitch. Rainbow rests down on her haunches, showing no sign of discomfort. I'm so jealous. I'm uncomfortable as fuck. There's hardly enough room on this thing for me. I have to sit cross-legged as well, because if I try to stretch my legs, I'll hit the pony in front of me.

"Excuse me," the mare behind me calls. I ignore her at first, until she touches my shoulder lightly with a hoof. I turn my head halfway to look at her...only to see her wearing a snooty and self entitled expression. "Do you mind? I can't see the track over you."

"That's just too damn bad. There's no where for me to move and I'm sure as hell not bending over," I scoff. Her appalled and angry expression is almost enough to make me laugh. Rainbow winces next to me as I turn back to face the front, not moving an inch. "Fucking bitch."

"Yeah, I forgot how tall you were...shoot," Rainbow says, her face landing into her hoof.

"Who cares? I came here to see this show with you, not worry about whether some generic bitch can see them," I retort. Rainbow lifts a hoof in response. I watch it in confusion as she moves it closer to my face slowly. Then, she gently tweaks my nose.

"You're being a jerk again," Rainbow chides me softly. Despite her chastising words, she's smiling.

"And you're scolding me again," I say, my words just as obvious as hers had been. "You know, if somebody had told me several weeks ago that I was going to end up in the future being scolded by a fucking rainbow pony, I'd have fed him to a shark."

"...to a shark?!" Rainbow repeats, laughing. "That's...an oddly specific thing to do to somep...someone."

"Oh really?" I respond, feeling a little silly at the moment. "You think that's bad? Let me take it a step further. I'd throw the guy into a tank filled with shark-infested acid."

Rainbow laughed harder at that image. "Seth, you silly human. Sharks can't survive in acid...it's acid! Nothing lives in acid!"

"That's why I would genetically engineer sharks that could survive in an acidic environment, solely for the purpose of tossing a man into a tank filled with shark infested acid."

Rainbow damn near falls over laughing at that, which causes me to grin. "You're so weird," she comments.

"Don't I know it," I reply, looking out over the track. While doing so, I notice that something seems to be happening out there. A pegasus stallion has just flown out from somewhere, headed towards the middle of the track. There's a singular cloud there that he shoves higher up into the air, and then sits on. He appears to be holding something in his mouth. "What's that pony out there doing?"

"Hm? Oh, it's the announcer guy! It's starting!" Rainbow starts to practically hop in place out of sheer anticipation. Oh good, this thing is finally starting.

The stallion out there clears his throat, which tells me he's holding a microphone. Though how it works when he's not a unicorn is beyond me. I doubt it's electric...or maybe it is, if he's rich enough. "Welcome, welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to this month's Wonderbolts Air Show!" the stallion announces, and the crowd's noise level rises by a ton as the ponies all cheer, whistle, air horn, and whatever else ponies do in crowds like this. Rainbow also joins in, much to my annoyance. "As you may have heard, the Wonderbolts we all know and love have come up with a new trick for us today. I think it's safe to say we're all looking forward to seeing what that is!"

The cheering increases tenfold, hurting my ears. All it does is serve to make the announcer grin widely. "Well then, without further ado, I present to you...the Wonderbolts!" he declares, sweeping his hoof towards the left side of the arena.

A blue painted, wooden hatch is built into the side of the mountain there, emblazoned with the image of the Wonderbolts symbol. Upon the announcement, the hatch opened.

"I still don't get what the big deal is with these Wonderbolts. I mean, what's so..." I shout over the crowd to Rainbow, but before I can finish, five ponies shoot out of the hatch like rockets, even trailing gray smoke behind them. They're so fast I can barely make them out. They're like blue streaks of light, almost like jets.

"There! The one in the lead! That's Spitfire!" Rainbow points out, jabbing a hoof at the sky. I can't really see Spitfire all that well. Just as I focus on her, the Wonderbolts' formation starts rotating, leaving a really cool looking spiral structure made of smoke behind.

When the five of them reach the center of the track, they split up and begin flying in a strange irregular pattern. It occurs to me as the lines of gray smoke form into shapes that they're drawing something.

The image soon takes shape, and the five Wonderbolts zoom towards the crowd and form into a single line so that they're all facing us. Behind them in a smoke formation of the Wonderbolts symbol, which gets the crowd going like nothing else. I'll admit, the ringing ears aside, that's pretty cool.

"Awesome! They brought RapidFire and Surprise along!" Rainbow says, pointing at the two Wonderbolts that I didn't recognize. I can pick out Soarin, Spitfire, and Fleetfoot, thanks to that poster I saw at the store, but there were two there I hadn't seen before. One was a stallion with a reddish white mine, and the other was a mare with a frizzy yellow mane.

They didn't stay still for very long. The five of them took off in different directions just as the Wonderbolts symbol faded away into the air. And then the true show started.

How can I describe this? It's like I'm watching a marching band at a college football game or something, only oriented laterally and done with smoke instead of people with instruments.

They make all sorts of shapes and pictures at speeds faster than I can see most of the time. They go from simple helixes to a picture of Celestia's crown at one point, with amazing detail. Get this though. While they're drawing these pictures, they do other tricks at the same time. Like this one time, I see Spitfire do a triple corkscrew backflip while drawing the gem of Celestia's crown. That's fucking impressive. I don't know any stunt fliers that could do that in my time. While she's doing that, I hear Rainbow next to me saying something along the lines of "So...AWESOME!"

I lean back against the rock, actually somewhat enjoying what I'm watching. While it's nowhere near as engaging as the concert was last night, it's still interesting to see. The amount of coordination they're showing in their tricks shows that not only do they have incredible individual skill, they also know exactly what their comrades are doing at the same time. If they're military like Rainbow said, I bet they're a force to be reckoned with.

Then, they move on from drawing pictures, and shoot straight up towards the cloud layer, which isn't that high up from here (you know, since we're on a fucking mountain). They bring down a clump of cloud and start circling it so fast, the cloud turns dark and starts emitting small bolts of lightning. Almost like static electricity (because if it was real lightning, spectators would be dying). Seems like they're doing weather tricks now.

A few of them bring another cloud down, and give it the same treatment. This time, rain starts to fall from both clouds, even though it's bright and sunny out here. The light from the sun reflects through the droplets of rain and forms a beautiful rainbow that bridges both of the clouds.

"Hey, I think they stole your mane," I joke, nudging Rainbow. She notices the rainbow and groans in mock exasperation, nudging me back. I chuckle and continue watching the show.

The Wonderbolts return the clouds to the cloud layer after that. Then, they start flying in a single circle perpendicular to the clouds. They fly faster and faster, until a disturbance forms in the clouds above them. I raise my eyebrow, wondering what they're doing. I look over at Rainbow, but she's also watching, riveted and yet slightly confused. I guess this is their new trick or whatever.

The circle of flying Wonderbolts slowly turns, until the circle is now parallel to the cloud layer. The clouds that were disturbed before now start to form into the shape of a funnel, causing my eyes to widen. "Holy shit, they're not going to..." I gasp, watching the funnel dip down and spin. "That's dangerous as hell!"

The forming tornado dips down further and further, and I start looking for a way out. However, instead of feeling suction like I was expecting, I feel winds blowing outward. My hair is caught by the wind and is sent flowing backwards. How is this possible? Tornadoes are destructive forces of nature that suck everything in around them due to the vacuum effect created by the rotating winds. How is air blowing outwards instead?

It takes me a long while of watching before I finally relax. It doesn't look like any of the ponies around me are panicking, so I watch the forming tornado carefully, with a sense of awe. It's not often that somebody can look upon something normally so destructive at such a close range, without even a hint of danger.

Finally, the Wonderbolts stop circling the tornado and break off, performing various tricks as they spread out. Fireworks explode in the air around them in sparks of blue and gold, through which they fly without hesitation. Behind them, the tornado began to dissipate on its own.

The Wonderbolts circle the stadium close to the crowd, possibly going for one last circle around before the end of the show. The crowd's cheers grow louder in the areas where the Wonderbolts are flying over at the time. When they reach our section, I can see them much closer, to the point where I can make out their facial expressions.

While the ones in the back seem to be concentrating, Spitfire looks calm and confident. She turns her head to face the audience, and to my shock, she seems to train her eyes directly at us. Is she looking at me? Why would she...no, she's looking at Rainbow. I take a look at Rainbow, but it looks like she's in shock.

Spitfire gives Rainbow a wink, and then she's on her way around the rest of the arena. That one wink, however, is enough to make Rainbow emit one of the loudest and most obnoxious fan-girl squeals I've heard from her...ever. I can't help but groan and bury my head in my hands.

The Wonderbolts, after they finish their circuit of the arena, fly back into the hatch in the side of the mountain, signifying that the air show was officially over. The applause (and by that I mean a bunch of ponies stamping the ground with their hooves) is so thunderous it feels like a fucking earthquake is shaking the arena beneath me.

The announcer gets back up on his cloud with his microphone. "And there you have it folks! That trick with the funnel cloud was beyond anything I've ever seen from them! Give it up for the Wonderbolts!" His words only cause the applause to intensify.

I sigh, and I'm about to lean back when Rainbow's hoof grasps my hand and tugs me right out of my seat. "What the...Rainbow!" I demand as she drags me up the stairs. "The show just ended, we're gonna get swarmed!"

"That's why we gotta go now if we want to catch them!" Rainbow shoots back over her shoulder, not stopping for even a moment.

"Catch them? Catch who?"

"No time to talk! Step it up!" I groan, extricating my hand from Rainbow's hoof. I don't know who she thinks she's catching, but I doubt I'm going to be able to stop her. Yeah, there she goes. She promptly takes to the air, zooming out of the stadium faster than I can run.

I sprint out of the stadium after her, wondering what the hell's got her in such a hurry. I spot her rainbow tail disappearing around a corner of a rocky wall. Inwardly cursing her, I follow her around the corner.

I certainly didn't expect to see her standing totally still just on the other side of that corner. Unable to stop myself, I plow right into her, and the two of us hit the ground and roll over one another.

"Dammit Rainbow, give a guy some warning," I complain, holding my shoulders, which ached from the impact. I'd rolled a few feet away from her, so that I'm lying flat on my back and staring up at the sky.

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect you to be running like your head was on fire either!" Rainbow protests, leaping to her hooves.

"You're the one who said hurry!" I shot back, getting up as well. "Speaking of which, what's the big deal anyway?"

Rainbow points to the building set into the rock wall, which is colored the typical Wonderbolts colors. However, the building isn't what's interesting. No, what's interesting are the Wonderbolts themselves emerging from the building.

"Oh, so they're who you wanted to catch," I mutter. For some reason, I start to feel a little bitter. "Go on then. Go have fun with your heroes or whatever."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Rainbow exclaims, dashing past me and towards her idols. They don't seem to be all that surprised at Rainbow's sudden appearance, as they shift their formation some to give her room.

I cross my arms, watching her interact with them. I can't hear what they're saying, but for some reason, my mood is dropping. I don't really know why.

"...I'm as hungry as a horse!" a goofy male voice sounds out as their formation gets closer, and the stallion with the blue mane, Soarin if I remember right, rubs his stomach with a hoof. I hear groans from the other Wonderbolts.

"You and your dumb puns," Spitfire remarks with a roll of her amber eyes. She heaves a resigned sigh. "Let's go get you some pie then. Want to join us, Rainbow?"

"Oh would I ever!" is Rainbow's ecstatic reply. Huh, she's on a first name basis with them. She did say she spent a day with them, after all, so I shouldn't be that surprised. But my mood drops further when I see them walk past me, totally ignoring me. Great. I turn around and start to walk away, realizing I'd just been abandoned. However, Rainbow's voice stops me again. "But...I can't leave my friend behind."

"Your friend?" Spitfire asks curiously, and then she turns around and sees me. "Dear Celestia, that's a human!"

Suddenly, I'm the center of attention for the entire Wonderbolts team. Rainbow approaches me first. "Don't worry, I wasn't gonna leave ya behind," she reassures me with a smile. Oh so now you're paying some attention to me again. Go have fun with Soarin and Spitfire or whatever. "So, Wonderbolts, allow me to introduce my totally awesome friend here, Seth Rogers!"

"I can't believe you're friends with a human, Rainbow. That is awesome," Spitfire agrees in a rather chill manner, and she extends a hoof to me. "S'up? I'm Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts."

I feel a little bit better now. I'm still feeling a little bitter for some reason, but I bear it and take Spitfire's hoof. "Yeah, I'm Seth," I respond awkwardly. I don't know how to respond to celebrities.

"Wow, a real human!" Surprise exclaims in a high pitched voice.

"You look different than the books suggest!" Rapidfire points out.

"What kind of food do humans eat?" Soarin adds his two cents next.

"Do humans really use awesome magic?" Fleetfoot asks next, speaking with a barely noticeable lisp.

"That's enough!" I say firmly, raising my voice just loud enough to be heard over their questions. They go silent at my outburst. "If I wanted to be fawned over like some piece on display, I'd go to a museum."

"Seth!" Rainbow hisses at me, looking both furious and scandalized. She looks at Spitfire next for a reaction.

"Sorry about that," Spitfire says apologetically. "We've all read the books. We're huge fans of them, so they just got a little excited, that's all."

The other Wonderbolts murmur apologies as well. "No harm done I guess. Nice job out there, by the way," I decide to redirect the topic of the conversation, realizing that I've probably made things a bit more difficult for Rainbow.

"Thanks. Now that I think about it, I think I saw you in the crowd, next to Rainbow," Spitfire recalls.

"Yeah, that was me. I was dragged here, but ended up enjoying it," I admit. My words earn a smile from Rainbow, who now looks more relaxed now that I'm not shouting at her idols anymore.

"Right, well, I'm glad you could see our new trick. Anyway, Rainbow, my offer still stands," Spitfire declares, turning back to Rainbow. Rainbow hesitates, looking at me. "Seth is also invited, of course."

"Wait what? You don't even know me!" I exclaim in shock, looking at Spitfire, who just grins.

"Any friend of Rainbow is a friend of mine. Come on, let's go get some food, before Soarin starts eating one of us," she jokes, turning the other direction. With that, the Wonderbolts, plus Rainbow and I, start walking down the street. I'm shaking my head. It's ridiculous. She's a celebrity, and she's like, "Oh you know Rainbow? Come along then!" How naive can you get?

"Hey, I said I was hungry as a horse, not that I was hungry enough to eat one!" Soarin protests in good humor as the other Wonderbolts laugh at his expense.

While we're walking, Rainbow inserts herself between Spitfire and me, as opposed to the other side, where Soarin was. Huh, I guess I was wrong about her being all over him. I give a smile.

So much shit has happened since I got to Canterlot. Between meeting every princess and the concert, now I've met the top stunt fliers in Equestria. And I'm going to lunch with them all because Rainbow knows them.

Go figure.

---

Author's Note:

Sorry about the week long wait. Summer semesters suck.

Confound youtube! It's getting harder and harder to find the OSTs I want to use, because they keep taking down all the good videos! This is like the tenth time I've had to pick a song other than what I wanted simply because it wasn't on youtube. At this rate I'm going to have to start uploading them myself, and then properly stating the fucking copyright law.

Also, in case it confused anybody, Rainbow threw that ice cube at Vinyl so she wouldn't mention the fact that Rainbow is in the pageant, and thus spoil the surprise for Seth.

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that this arc will end in two chapters.

Leave me a comment and tell me what you think! I especially want to know if I characterized the Wonderbolts well. Now then, while I wait for said comments, I'm going to go heat up a chimichanga. Because they're awesome. ;)

"And then this dumb stallion proceeds to knock the entire table over, plates and all, screaming like a little filly," Spitfire relates, much to the chagrin of a blushing Rapidfire. The other Wonderbolts laugh heartily at his expense, while I just shake my head.

"Really? All for a spider that wasn't even there?" Fleetfoot responds between snickers. Rapidfire proceeds to look more and more embarrassed, though he is grinning despite himself.

"No, it was there all right. Just not real," Spitfire corrects her. A moment later, she reaches backward and catches a passing waiter. "Oi! Fill me up real quick, would you?"

The waiter bows when he notices who stopped him, and then he refills Spitfire's cup with more cider. "That's an awesome prank! I wonder who in Ponyville I could pull that on," Rainbow muses, a wicked grin crossing her face.

"Certainly not me. Spiders don't scare me all that much," I inform her. That gets Rapidfire's attention as well, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"What? How do they not scare you?" he asks curiously. Since I apparently have the spotlight right now, I might as well answer him.

"Because they're not really all that dangerous. Most of them aren't venomous, and the ones that are aren't a danger if you're not a dumb fuck," I point out. Spitfire and Rainbow both nod in agreement with that, but Rapidfire just blanches.

"But they can always get you when you're not expecting them. They could crawl into your bed at night and spin webs while you're asleep and..." he protests, but I cut him off.

"Okay, let me stop you right there. Spiders aren't stupid either. They don't spin webs on unstable objects, especially ones that move regularly, like living creatures. Secondly, if they do crawl into your bed, they're dead. All it takes is for you to roll over in your sleep, and they're squished," I berate him, but at the same time it appears to be having a reassuring effect on him.

"I can't believe we're having a conversation about spiders, of all things," Soarin remarks. He nudges Spitfire. "I blame you, captain. You're a bad influence on us all."

"Coming from the stallion that practically drains all of our money on food expenses," Spitfire retorts.

"Aw come on, you're exaggerating!" Soarin complains. His reaction is enough to get Spitfire chuckling. With that distraction, Surprise reaches forward and taps Rapidfire on the shoulder, and the two of them start discussing something. While Fleetfoot discusses different types of tricks with Rainbow, I take a drink from my own cup.

This is chaos. I feel a lot like I'm hanging out with a bunch of college students. It's definitely a newer experience for me. I've been with groups like this before back in my time, but I never really got involved in the conversations unless they were school related. Since, you know, I hated all of them and would never go anywhere with them unless it was school related.

Here, it's odd. They're celebrities, and yet they're going out of their way to make sure I'm included in the conversation. Not by asking me about my race, either. They apparently got the message when I snapped at them about it earlier.

Speaking of which, we went to a small restaurant together, where the Wonderbolts had their own reserved tables, where they wouldn't be disturbed. Something like that being offered to me normally set off all kinds of alarm bells in my head, but since Rainbow was so close to me, I decided not to mention anything. If anything happens, I'll blame her.

"What did you think about our tornado trick, Seth?" Spitfire inquires, which brings the attention back to me again.

"It was bullshit. I know how tornadoes work, and that one followed none of the rules," I responded honestly.

"Oh? Do tell," Spitfire says, lifting one eyebrow. Next to me, Rainbow buries her face in both hooves, probably because she knows I'm about to analyze the shit out of this.

"Tornadoes form by wind shear, when two currents of wind blow at different speeds. An updraft catches it, and that's how a funnel cloud starts," I explain, recalling what little school did teach us about them. For some reason life threatening occurrences like that were skipped over for more inane topics, like the Pythagorean theorem. Go figure. "Then the resulting vacuum causes immense suction. What you did was just fly in a fucking circle, and then air blew outwards. Explain that!"

"Well, we weren't going to create a suction tornado in the middle of a crowded arena, dude," Spitfire assures me. "It's not that hard for fast enough pegasi to set up an outwardly blowing tornado."

"But...that's not...you don't...I..." I stammer, so many different logical protests forming in my head at a speed that my brain can't keep up with. Rainbow snickers next to me, taking pleasure in my mind being fucked. "Fucking magic!"

"Equestria runs by magic. You should get used to seeing it everywhere," Fleetfoot reminds me. Yes, yes, I know that. I rub my forehead in exasperation. Fuck you, Discord. Fuck you with a brick.

"Well, we do have alternate sources of energy," Rapidfire inserts, turning away from his conversation with Surprise, much to her annoyance. "Like electricity."

"For the last time, Rapidfire, we're not buying you electric headphones," Spitfire chastises him wryly. "Our bank account can't possibly survive."

"Wha...but I get so tired of having to make unicorns keep charging up mine with magic!" Rapidfire complains, producing a set of thick headphones. There's no cables for it, so basically it's battery powered. With magic. I hate magic.

"Money is money, dude. We don't make nearly enough to afford anything electric," Spitfire qualifies with a rueful smile.

"That actually reminds me," I speak up next, directing my words at Spitfire. She turns away from Rapidfire and looks at me expectantly. "What exactly are the Wonderbolts, apart from stunt fliers?"

"That's a good question, I'm glad you asked," Spitfire responds readily, her eyes lighting up. "You're right, we're more than just stunt fliers. We're actually military."

"Really? So Rainbow was right about that much," I reply, which earns me a nudge from Rainbow.

"You say that like you were expecting me to be wrong!" Rainbow accuses me. I just roll my eyes and motion for Spitfire to continue.

"We originally formed just after the War of Night and Day, as the E.U.P, or Earth Unicorn Pegasus Guard," Spitfire related. Oh, that's interesting. I do like military history. Maybe I can take some time to learn a little more about history. Because if there's one thing I can say about Cheerilee's class, it's that she didn't say shit about military make up. "The first Wonderbolts, though they weren't called such, were chosen to commemorate the occasion."

"The E.U.P., huh? So all the regiments and whatever used to be one solid unit?" As I ask, I notice Rainbow next to me, looking at me with a bemused expression. Maybe she's confused that I'm actually holding a conversation with a pony without snapping at it. Well, it's not like she's asking anything personal, so I don't see a reason why I would snap at her.

"That's right. Naturally the military's gone through a few changes and reorganizations since then. That was a long, long time ago," Spitfire clarifies. "Now we have six divisions, two for each race."

"Oh, I see. I've only heard of the two unicorn regiments, though. What kind of roles do the two pegasus regiments have?"

Spitfire blinks and gives me a curious look. "You seem awfully interested in all this. What's up with that?"

"I enjoy learning about military history, that's all. If you don't want to answer, then don't," I answer irritably, causing her (and Rainbow next to me) to wince.

"Naw, I don't mind answering. It's just most of the time, my stallion fans only ask me about myself, and not about our history," Spitfire reassures me with a wry grin. "I find it rather refreshing."

"Trust me, you don't have to worry at all about that," I retort, shuddering. Fucking celebrity groupies. I understand how she feels. "Anyway, answer the question."

"All right. Well, my division is the Canterlot Royal Pegasus Corps. We're the air force; we strike first, and we strike 'em again," Spitfire reveals, chuckling a bit at her own joke. "Of course, not really much call for military action around here anymore. Last time we had a war was a millennium ago."

"Hang on, your division?"

"Yup. I should probably reintroduce myself," Spitfire remarks. "I'm Spitfire, Captain of the Canterlot Royal Pegasus Corps."

Well, shit, that makes her as important as Shining Armor. So she's not just a performer. I look at the other Wonderbolts. "Well then. I have a habit of meeting important ponies, it seems. So that makes you all soldiers as well?" I ask curiously.

"Yup!" Surprise affirms cheerily. The rest nod in confirmations as well. Well then, we're hanging out with soldiers.

"That's so cool! Have you smashed any bad guys?" Rainbow exclaims, joining the conversation.

"Hah, nothing worth talking about. The princesses do a good job keeping Equestria safe," Spitfire answers, chuckling at Rainbow's enthusiasm. No shit, Celestia is overpowered. Mind-reading powerhouse that claims to raise the sun. Still not sure I believe that part.

"But captain, remember the time we drove off those monsters near Dodge Junction?" Soarin reminds her with a grin. "It was great, I think I crushed a dozen of those things."

"I didn't forget. I just said it wasn't really worth talking about," Spitfire corrects him. "Like Soarin said, most of our military missions now are dealing with monster threats, or training new recruits."

"It's weird, that Equestria has gone so long without wars," I comment, remembering all the wars humanity has had over its history. There's been way too many to count. "Don't you get tired of having nothing to do?"

"To put it bluntly, I'd rather have nothing to do than take part in a war. We're here to keep Equestria safe, but that job is seldom pleasant," Spitfire tells me flatly. "I'm totally fine doing flips and corkscrews if it means everypony is safe."

"That's...a surprisingly noble thing to say," I say, surprised. I didn't expect her to spill her feelings to me just because I asked, that's for sure.

"I'm just telling you how I feel, that's all. I'm damn proud to be the head of the Wonderbolts, and even prouder to be a member of Equestria's military," Spitfire finishes. I don't really know what to say to that. Honestly I had no idea what to expect from Spitfire, but I guess she's all right. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. Though I see why Rainbow idolizes her.

"Rainbow, what time is it?" I mention to my friend, just remembering that we have someplace to be soon. Rainbow blinks, and then she frantically looks around for a clock. I guess she forgot as well.

"Uh, half past three," Rainbow reveals, heaving a relieved sigh. "Thank Celestia, I thought we were gonna be late."

"We still might, if we don't get moving," I warn her. She looks really bummed out by that, probably because she wants to stick around with the Wonderbolts some more. I won't like, I kinda do too, if only to learn a bit more about Equestria's military from one of their captains.

"Got someplace to be?" Spitfire inquires as I stand up from the table, setting the last of my bits down on the table to pay for the meal. I'm now as broke as I was when I got here. Seems like forever ago.

"Yeah, Rainbow and I originally came to Canterlot on business," I explain. Then I quickly correct myself. "Well, to be accurate, I came to Canterlot on business. Rainbow is here just because."

"I am not! You asked me!" Rainbow protests, but I ignore her.

"I'm here with a musician, being paid to set up her shit. You know how it goes," I continue. Spitfire nods, making no indication that she's going to move at all.

"I gotcha. Well then, I guess I'll see you around, Seth. I must say, it was a pleasure talking to you," Spitfire tells me.

"Yeah, if all humans are like you, then humans are cool!" Soarin adds, earning a scoff from me in response. You have no fucking idea how "uncool" humans are.

"Also, I certainly hope to see more from you, Rainbow. You have potential; I saw that at the competition," Spitfire adds. Rainbow proceeds to blush nine shades of red and nod vigorously, tripping over her words. Her awkwardness causes Spitfire to chuckle.

"All right, if we don't go now, I'll never get you out of here," I grunt, poking Rainbow in the neck. She snaps out of her reverie, and then with a last wave to the Wonderbolts, we leave the restaurant.

Rainbow is silent for about five seconds before she promptly starts gallivanting around me in pure joy. "Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigooosh! Did you hear her?! She said I had potential!" And...she's also fangirling again.

I get tired of watching her, so I grab the top of her head to keep her still. "Yes, I heard her too, I was there, in case you forgot. Don't let it go to your head; it's big enough as it is."

Rainbow shakes off my hand and growls at me. "My head is not big! What are you talking about?"

"It's a figure of speech, you moron," I inform her, rolling my eyes. "Basically don't get confident. Somepony like her isn't going to be really impressed unless you put a lot of effort into your flying."

"I...I already knew that! I always put effort into my flying!" Rainbow asserts, though it seems like I've managed to quell her ego a bit. "That's why I'm the fastest pony in Equestria apart from them!"

….Or not. Goddamn this pony and her ego. Drives me nuts at times.

---

We reach the bar just as the time reaches four. I wish I could have been here earlier, but I doubt I could have dragged Rainbow out of that restaurant any sooner. Not with the way she was hanging on Spitfire's every word...holy shit. I completely forgot about that. Same sex relationships apparently aren't frowned upon in this society. What if Rainbow wasn't all over Soarin because she didn't swing that way? This is a disturbing and rather irritating line of thought. I'm going to not think about this.

"I was wondering if you two would be on time!" Vinyl calls to us from the stage, where she's already starting to set up the mat upon which all of her equipment will go. Hang on, the cart's already here. How did that happen? Did Vinyl bring the cart over from the hotel all on her own?

"Nah, I managed to drag Seth here before we were late," Rainbow assures Vinyl. My eye starts to twitch.

"Excuse me, that was what I was doing to you, you lying fuck," I correct her, shoving her playfully. She nudges me right back, a twinkle in her eyes telling me that she'd just been fucking with me.

"Okay, can you keep your hooves off of each other for one moment and help me set up my gig? It's...what I'm paying you for, after all," Vinyl remarks, running a few cables underneath the mat.

"Dammit Vinyl!" I snap at her, which only makes her laugh. I'm getting real tired of her jokes about Rainbow and I. Platonic relationships exist, you fucking troll.

"Correction: it's what she's paying you for. I think I'll go take a little nap!" Rainbow declares with a mocking grin, and then she promptly finds a booth to recline in. "Have fun, working, Sethie!"

"...You did not just fucking call me Sethie," I deadpan, already planning my revenge.

"Less, talking, more working, Sethie!" Rainbow teases me. Oh that is it. Shit is going to go down back at our hotel room. That bed flipping trick is going to be tame compared what I'm going to do to you.

Ignoring her laughter, I look over at Vinyl for direction...only to see her snickering as well. My glare causes her to quickly compose herself. "Er...ahem. Dude, can you grab all those boxes from the cart and stage them over here?" she requests.

"Don't ask me, tell me. I'm your employee," I grunt, but I do as I'm told anyway. Seriously, fucking bosses asking you if you can do something when you know you can't say no. It just pisses me off.

You know how it goes. The stage in this area is different, but the essentials are the same. Run the cables under the mat, plug them in, get the tables set up, the speakers connected, etcetera. It's some hard work, especially all the heavy lifting with the LEDs and the speakers. I swear, if I don't have abs by the end of the month, I'll be pissed.

"Excellent, excellent!" the brown stallion with the sandy mane from before exclaims as he examines the set up. I'm assuming that's Erratic Tune, judging by the musical butt tattoo he's got. Though why a musician pony is running a bar is beyond me. "It's been so long since I've heard some decent electronic music!"

"Just you wait, bro. I've got some human music in store for ya too!" Vinyl informs him with a grin. Erratic's eyes widen, as does his smile.

"You got your human friend here to teach you some music? That's incredible!" Erratic asks, looking between me and Vinyl. I cross my arms. I didn't show her shit. The only pony I've shown my music is Rainbow, and that was only one song.

"Nah, my mother's an archaeologist. She pulled a few strings so I could have some of the few fragments of music her expedition did find," Vinyl explains. That's interesting. So that's how she got hold of dubstep and the like. "It was pretty easy to extrapolate the style of their music onto our own."

"Nevertheless, I am very interested to hear this human music," Erratic asserts. Then he trots towards the back of the bar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to add human music to the advertisements. That'll draw in a crowd!"

"Guy's too fucking cheerful," I mutter as I crawl underneath Vinyl's mixing tables, three multicolored cables clenched in my right hand.

"Careful under there! Don't mess with any of the switches you see, or it'll mess up my whole gig!" Vinyl alerts me, trotting over to me. "Maybe it's too soon for me to let you do this part."

"Calm your tits, mare! I've got this." My response causes Vinyl to raise an eyebrow. "All I'm doing is plugging these cords into the properly colored slot."

"You know, every time I think you can't get any more vulgar, you always find a way," Vinyl observes dryly. "Seriously though, don't touch those switches."

"I'm not going to touch them! Sheesh, this is an elementary job, it's not like I'm going to..." I start to complain, but then I accidentally hit my head on the underside of the tables. "Ow, son of a bitch!"

"An elementary job, was it? Get out of there," Vinyl returns smugly, and drags me out from underneath the tables with her magic. Then, while I'm rubbing the forming lump on my head, Vinyl crawls underneath the tables as well. "Oh come on, you hit the reverb switch! That woulda really messed up my sound!"

I scratch the back of my head sheepishly, feeling really foolish for fucking up after spouting off like that. "Not my fucking fault it's so tight under there."

"You talking about beneath my tables, or Rainbow's tail?" Vinyl jokes, from underneath the tables. My immediate response is to stomp on her hoof with my foot. "Ow! What was that for?"

"And you were just bitching at me about being vulgar! Oh god...now I'm visualizing it...fuck you, Vinyl. Just...just fuck you," I groan, holding my head with one hand and pounding it with the other, trying to get that horrifying image out of my head. "I need to go find somewhere to hurl."

"Oh come on, with a set up like that, I can't not seize the opportunity," Vinyl says as she plugs in one of the cords. "I don't regret a thing."

Oh you totally will. You're next on my shit list for tonight. Now I have to devise a plan to get revenge on her too.

---

After we finished setting up Vinyl's equipment, we rejoin Rainbow at the booth. Vinyl and I have to sit together, since Rainbow is sprawled across the other side, fast asleep. That didn't take her very long. She fell asleep regardless of the typical background noise a bar has.

About two seconds after I sit down, I stand back up and move over to Rainbow. Vinyl watches me curiously, wondering what it is I'm going to do. What I have planned is pretty tame, but all that shit will come later.

Leaning down, I pinch her ear and blow into it from a few inches away. Just like I expected, Rainbow immediately wakes up and makes a hilarious noise, flailing her hooves around. She clamps a hoof to the affected ear and looks at me with a disturbed expression. "What the hay was that, Seth!?" She demands.

"Something I'd do to annoy animals back in my time," I explain with a chuckle. Her face is perfect right now. I wish I could take a picture. "Trust me, animals fucking hate that. Apparently you do as well."

"That was only the weirdest sensation ever!" Rainbow protests, though she's starting to giggle now that she recognizes the fact that it was a prank. "Can't you ever just shake me and say 'hey Rainbow, please wake up?'"

"Nope. I think I've said that before."

"Ugh. Let's just get some food while I plan my revenge," Rainbow says with a wicked grin. Oh please, I bet your revenge will be pathetic compared to what I have in store for you.

---

After we eat, the party gets started. Unfortunately, I couldn't pay for the meal, so I resolved to pay Rainbow back the moment I get paid for tonight.

Basically, Vinyl does a quick sound test to make sure everything's working, and then she starts her first song, which is not dubstep, interestingly enough, but something electronic. I suppose that stuff is going to come later.

Also, I'm going to be here for hours. Hoo boy. That's the only thing about musical gigs that I can't stand. It's the endless waiting, especially if the song isn't one that I particularly like. This one is okay, but it's not going to get me on the dance floor.

Some of the other ponies in the bar think it's the best thing ever, considering we already have some ponies on the dance floor. Other ponies are coming in from the streets, having heard the music. I even see that one mare I fucked with the other day come in as well. I think her name was Ember? I forget. She wasn't that memorable apart from the guitar.

I would take a nap, but Rainbow is eyeing me in a rather suspicious manner, so I know that's a bad idea. She might try to prank me. So honestly I end up sitting at this damn booth sipping at a cup of water for a really long time.

Nothing really interesting happens until a little after eight. I'm still just sitting at the booth, watching the ponies dance like crazy to a more upbeat song that Vinyl's playing, when I happen to notice a particular pony walk in from the street.

"Holy shit," I remark, my voice barely audible over the pounding bass. Rainbow stirs at my words, following my gaze until she sees what I'm looking at. Her reaction is similar to mine, minus the cursing. I guess she knows who that is as well.

Octavia has just walked into the bar, looking as groomed and classy as ever. She's looking around for someone or something, looking somewhat uncertain. She wrinkles her nose at the sound of the music coming from the tables.

What the fuck is she doing he...oh that's right, I told her to come here for the most likely chance of finding me. "I'll be right back. I think she's here to see me," I explain, standing up from my seat and making a beeline for her.

"Wait what? You...and her...what?" Rainbow stammers in surprise, but I quickly leave her behind.

Octavia spots me when I get close enough to her, and she comes to meet me halfway, with a smile. "Ah, there you are. I was hoping I could catch you before you left for the night," Octavia greets me with a dip of the head, which I return.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon. I take it you have some news for me?" I say, cutting right to the point.

"Indeed I do. Would you care to step outside for a moment?" Octavia replies, indicating the door with a small head motion. I nod, and the two of us leave the bar.

"Why, not a fan of Vinyl's music?" I tease her as we walk out into the darkened Canterlot streets.

Octavia wrinkles her nose again. "I can't say that I am. It lacks a certain...finesse, for lack of a better word."

"I hear that. This kind of music is hit or miss for most individuals," I relate, nodding my head. "Anyway, enough about that. What did you find out?"

Octavia responds by giving me a bright smile. "You're lucky. I managed to find an opening tomorrow at noon."

I can't believe my ears. A piano room has an opening this early? Part of me wants to call bullshit on this. "I don't buy it. How often are these rooms usually booked?" I demand, crossing my arms.

"It depends on the time of year, I suppose. They're usually booked for months at a time before concerts, but after performances, there's a short period of time where the rooms are relatively unused," Octavia explains. I suppose that makes sense, even if it is a little convenient.

"I see. Did you already make the reservation, or do I have to go and do that myself?"

"Of course. If I hadn't, it likely wouldn't be available now. These reservations tend to disappear fast," Octavia assures me.

"Okay, then how would I go about reaching this place? I know where the concert hall is, but not the rehearsal hall."

"All right, if you're looking at the concert hall from the front," Octavia begins, moving so that she's standing with her back to me. "If you follow the right path and cut through the alleys on the left of the street, it's only short walk until you see it. It's hard to miss."

It's really comical, how she's attempting to act out the directions with her two front hooves. Thankfully, my memory is good enough that I can visualize what she's trying to tell me. "Um...Octavia? Perhaps you should leave the directions to the professionals," I criticize with a raised eyebrow. Octavia abruptly lowers her hooves and gives me a stare.

"Oh, hush, you. I'm trying to help," she huffs with an adorable pout, which just makes me chuckle. "Did you understand though?"

"I did, no thanks to..." I take a moment to wave my hands in the air in a mock imitation of what she had been doing. "...whatever you were doing."

"Enough about the directions!" Octavia complains, making me laugh harder. "Anyhow, your reservation is for room fifteen. Unfortunately, I cannot stay, as business calls."

"One last thing before you go. I...don't actually understand Equestrian writing. Think you can describe to me what the characters for 'fifteen' look like?" I admit. Octavia blinks, and then she shuffles around in her saddlebags for something.

"I can do better than that. One moment," she tells me as she fishes out a notepad and a pencil. With the pencil in her mouth, she delicately writes something down on the first page, and then rips it out, again with her mouth.

I hold out my hand, into which she deposits the sheet of paper. Clearly inscribed upon it are a few unfamiliar characters, which I'm going to assume are the characters that mean 15.

"Just match the characters you see there to the ones on the door of the practice room, and you'll be fine," Octavia assures me as she replaces the notepad and pencil in her saddlebags. "Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have a few preparations to make before tomorrow."

"Right, whatever. I'm just gonna stay here and be bored out of my mind," I respond dryly. With a nod, Octavia turns the other direction and begins to walk away. Before she can fully leave the area, my conscience gets the better of me and I call after her. "Octavia!"

She turns her head to look at me curiously. I scratch the back of my head nervously. "Thanks," I say awkwardly.

A warm smile crosses Octavia's face. "You're very welcome. Good night to you, Seth." And with that, she was gone.

---

With the piece of paper folded up neatly in my back pocket, I return to the bar, where everything is still much the same as it was when I left it. Well, maybe the dance floor has gotten a little wilder.

I consider joining in the dancing to let off some steam, but then decide better of it. I'm not really feeling it tonight.

"What was that all about? When did you become friends with Octavia of all ponies?" Rainbow questions me when I return to our table, where I see my water has been refilled.

"She's not my friend. She just came to tell me there was a reservation available for me at the rehearsal hall," I remark, grabbing the cup of water and gulping from it. Ah, that hydration though.

"Huh? But how did you even get her to talk to you? At the gala, she seemed really snooty and uptight," Rainbow presses. I sit down across from her.

"I don't know what a 'gala' is, but she's pretty chill, really. Definitely not what I expected from a celebrity," I confess. "With talent like her's, I expected her to be full of herself."

"Oho, you want to see a celebrity that's full of herself, go watch one of Trixie's shows. That mare makes me so mad!" Rainbow seethes. Trixie? Who the fuck is...suddenly a bad joke has come to me.

"Silly Rainbow. Trixies are for kids!" I joke wryly. Wow, I've sunk to a new level of dumb references. Rainbow looks understandably clueless.

"...What?"

"Skip it. Who's Trixie?"

"She was a traveling magician that apparently made it big in the towns surrounding Canterlot. She was a real jerk though, always bragging and showing everypony up," Rainbow relates, deciding to ignore my dumb joke.

"Hold on, what? What's the point of being a traveling magician if everyone knows that magic is real?" I demand. When Rainbow returns with a confused expression, I elaborate. "Back in my time, we had traveling magicians as well, but all they did was use cheap tricks and clever optical illusions to deceive people into thinking they had magic."

"That's weird. Seth, why is your kind so weird?" Rainbow questions me. I give a shrug. "Well, to answer your question, magician ponies use their magic to entertain other ponies."

"So, like show magic. Okay, seems weird, but I guess that's just a difference in culture," I remark, and Rainbow nods in agreement.

---

For the rest of the night, Rainbow and I exchange small talk a few times, but more often than not I spend the time staring listlessly into space.

That continues until finally Vinyl plays the last song around half past eleven, when most of the dancing ponies are filtering out for the night. After a short address to the bar patrons, Vinyl calls me up to the stage again to help her dismantle all this shit.

"Excellent!" Erratic approaches us as Vinyl and I are working together to take apart the LEDs and speaker systems. In his hoof is a large bag of bits that clinks enticingly with every step he takes. "I knew it was a good idea hiring you. I made a lot of money tonight. I believe now it is time for you to do the same. Two hundred bits, all for you."

"Aw sweet! Thanks, Erratic!" Vinyl exclaims, grabbing hold of the bag with her magic and bringing it closer to herself. "Now then, let's fish out some for Seth here."

"Don't you dare split it half and half. You did most of the work," I warn her. Vinyl sticks her tongue out at me.

"Calm down, bro, I wasn't going to do that. I was thinking I should give you a third of the overall payment, like I always do. This time it's six hundred," Vinyl muses. She takes a moment to run the math in her head. "So that's two hundred bits for you total. Since I have two hundred bits here...a third of that is..."

"About sixty six bits," I calculate, having done math so much in college I can do simple calculations pretty easily. "Two hundred isn't divisible by three. You'll get a remainder of two. So give me sixty eight bits today, and sixty six each additional day."

Vinyl stares at me. "That makes sense. Good thing I brought you along, my little calculator," she jokes. She opens the bag with her magic, and then fishes out 68 bits. She halts again before handing me the bits. "Hm...since I know you'll complain if I don't, I'm going to go ahead and take your expenses out of this."

"Yes, please do. That way I can keep whatever else I earn," I tell her. Good, at least I get to watch her take the money out of my pay.

"Hm...so the hotel room was forty...split that by three and you get thirteen bits," Vinyl begins, but already I see an error.

"Forty isn't divisible by three. There's a remainder of one. Take fourteen bits to make up for the extra," I correct her. Vinyl stares at me again, and this time she sticks out her tongue.

"Nope. This is my gig, so the extra should be my responsibility," Vinyl refutes.

"But..."

"I'm your boss, so nyah!" is Vinyl's immature response. I groan and facepalm, realizing that that logic is not something I can refute. Technically it doesn't matter who pays the extra...but I would have felt better if I'd done it. "Anyway, take out thirteen bits there. Then another five for the train ticket, and four will go to Rainbow for your meal today. You're left with forty six bits. Sound good?"

"Yeah," I finally say, fishing out the empty bag that once held my own money. With a satisfied grin, Vinyl places the 46 bits into it with her magic. I almost drop the bag from the weight. Holy shit, I'm richer than I've ever been in Equestria. The most I've ever had was 23 bits. This is twice that amount. Fuck yeah, money. Too bad it's not enough to buy myself a house.

"Sweet! Then let's get back to work so we can crash. I dunno about you, bro, but I'm exhausted," Vinyl says, turning back to her tables. "You finish packing up the LEDs in the boxes. I'll unhook the cables. You know, an elementary job."

"...I hate you so much," I groan at her reminder of my fuck up. Her response is to laugh heartily at my expense.

---

By midnight, we've finished packing everything up into the cart. Rainbow joins us at that point, having taken another nap instead of helping us (Then again, I'd rather she didn't help us. More money for me).

Unfortunately, Vinyl and I have to push the cart all the way back to the hotel, while Rainbow does little flips and twirls in the air, taunting us without words about how slow we are.

Once we reach the hotel, we leave the cart with the staff and we return to our room on the third floor. I'm so fucking exhausted after all of that heavy lifting and three flights of stairs, that I collapse immediately into my bed.

I look over at Rainbow, and Vinyl, the latter of which is now taking off her shades. I already know what I'm going to do to them. It'll just have to wait until the morning, because that's the best time to pull off my evil prank without a hitch.

I strip down to my boxers underneath the blankets of the bed where I can't be seen, and then I toss my clothes out through a gap onto the floor. Then, at last, I get comfortable, letting out a sigh of contentment.

"I'm going to sleep. I'll see you two in the morning," I tell them, shutting my eyes. I hear two different grunts of acknowledgment, because they're both tiredly climbing into their bed as well.

Sleep well, mares. Because in the morning, you're going to get a very rude awakening indeed.

---

Author's Note:

I managed to get this one out a bit earlier that usual. I can't believe I'm past 30 chapters. Seriously, this is the longest story I've ever written. No joke. If somepony had told me that my little daydream while lying awake one evening about a jerk in Equestria was going to turn into a monster over 200000 words, I've have tossed them into a vat filled with shark-infested acid.

Next, after the millionth person commented/reviewed this story referencing some "Mr. Rogers" guy, I finally got fed up and googled it to find out who the hell he was. I ended up blowing my mind. I've been referencing my childhood for this entire story and not even realized it. Holy shit. I mean, it's been so long I forgot he existed, but I remembered the song and what he looked like. Yeah. My mind is blown. I must be the densest guy on the planet not to get that reference. Blagh.

Anyway, one last thing before I go. I was in the middle of writing this chapter when a dumb joke popped into my head.

"I fell in love with the mare at the air show, she said what, and I told her that I didn't know..." Okay, I'm done. That reference needed to be made. Well, this is a long author's note.

Please leave a comment telling me what you think! In the meantime, I'm going to go snack on some potato cakes. Because they're delicious and I'm hungry.

I regain consciousness the next morning long before I actually decide to get up. I open my eyes, feeling an odd sense of wrongness. Something's happened, and I'm not quite sure what it is.

Soft snores from the other side of the room tell me that Vinyl and Rainbow are still asleep. Okay. Well, in that case, I'll go and prepare that prank I have in mind for Rainbow. It's going to be so great.

For some reason, when I try to move, I can't. Like, I literally can't move my arms or legs. What the fuck? I can move my head just fine, so I bite the edge of the comforter and toss it aside with a jerk of my neck so I can figure out what's restricting me. Unfortunately, throwing a heavy comforter with just your teeth isn't that easy, so I have to do it a few times before I can finally see what happened.

I've been wrapped up in my sheets like a goddamn mummy. How did that...oh. I turn my head and glare at Rainbow. This was your idea of a prank? How lame. Come on, all I have to do is find the edge of the sheets and then roll around a bit.

It's almost too easy to find the edge. Once again craning my head forward, I bite down on the edge and give it a jerk...only to find that it won't move. It's stuck to the rest of the sheets. How the hell? I try again, giving as much effort as I can. It still won't budge, but the exertion allows me to see a strange translucent substance between the edge of the sheets and the rest. Is that glue?

Further inspection of the room leads me to notice the small bottle resting on the dresser next to my bed. It looks...very familiar. It dawns on me a few seconds later what happened. That's Liquid Rock. Fuck.

Goddammit, Rainbow. This was actually a good prank on your part. Now I can't fucking move, because Liquid Rock is practically unbreakable. I'd know, because it's what's keeping the strap attached to my rifle. But...Rarity told me that this stuff hardens only when it comes into contact with magic. Which means Vinyl was involved too. Wow, they really wanted to prank me, didn't they?

Sadly for them, they don't know who they're dealing with. I'm not just going to sit here and wait for them to get up. No, I'm getting out of this.

I start to struggle, my aim being to get at least one arm out of the sheets. I'm tied up really tightly, so it's extremely difficult to move. I can feel my arm slowly, painfully inching out. At this rate, it'll take me forever to get free. If only I were a little stronger...

Then it clicks. Bitch, I am stronger. I release the magic from my core, my vision turning green. I make sure to keep myself at the base level of emission so I don't wreck the place. At this point, if I focus my magic like Shining Armor taught me, I can probably rip the sheets to shreds, but I don't want to do that, since they're not mine. Instead, I focus my magic in my right arm and use the extra strength to tug my arm out of the sheets. That leaves enough slack for me to get my other arm out as well.

No longer needing the magic, I block it away once more, my vision returning to normal. While it's difficult to really control this magic quite the way I want to, at least Celestia managed to teach me how to stay in control, however the fuck she did it.

Anyway, with all that slack in the sheets, it's easy for me to get free. I get up from the bed, glaring at Rainbow and Vinyl. You've had your fun, and now it's my turn.

I move towards the bathroom, thinking hard. My original plan had only accounted for Rainbow, since she alone I can carry. I can't carry both her and Vinyl. I can still do my original plan, but no doubt whomever I choose to be the first victim will alert the other with her screams.

Or maybe if I use my magic again, I can carry the both of them...no, that's a terrible idea. I shouldn't have used it in the first place. It's a miracle Vinyl didn't wake up. She's a unicorn, so I think she'd be able to sense it if I used magic so close to her. Of course, I could also just not prank Vinyl, but she deserves it as well, especially with the dumb innuendos she keeps making.

There's got to be something I can do to her at the same time as Rainbow. Oh well. I can think about that while I'm preparing Rainbow's prank. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door softly.

I remember seeing a bathtub in here yesterday morning tucked against the back wall, next to the shower. Yup, there it is, and it's a lot bigger than I remember. I guess I was just tired.

The cold water knob is easy to pick out because of the blue coloring scheme. I twist it until it won't turn any more, so that frigid water pours out of the faucet. I also make sure to plug up the drain. With that, the bathtub starts to fill up. Which means I have time to think of something to do to Vinyl.

I've got it. The bathtub is almost full now, so I'm going to put my plan into action. Walking back into the room, I make sure Vinyl and Rainbow are still asleep. Good, they are. Which means I can do this.

I grab the bottle of Liquid Rock from the table and open the top of it. Next, I move over to Vinyl and position the bottle right over her horn. Following the grooves in her horn, I squeeze out the substance all over it, until I reach the tip. Capping the bottle again, I grin. The next time she tries to use magic, she'll be in for a shock.

It occurs to me that the substance might be irreversible. That would be dumb, even for ponies. Even so, the thought causes my blood to run cold. I grab my rifle and take it into the bathroom, releasing a tiny current of magic through my body as I do so. I focus all of that magic into my finger, and then jab the tip at the spot where the strap touches the rifle.

To my great relief, the Liquid Rock there turns liquid again. I turn it back solid once more and place my rifle aside. So at the most, Vinyl will be annoyed, rather than crippled for life. God, that would have been really bad. Think before you act, Seth.

Now then, that aside, it's time to make Rainbow regret her dumb bullshit yesterday and this morning. She's sleeping peacefully, lying on her side with her back facing me. Excellent.

I move beside her, and then gently pick her up, holding her in such a way that my left arm is supporting her rear, while my right is holding her back. Much to my amusement, Rainbow still doesn't wake up, and instead fucking cuddles up to me, her head resting on my chest. Aww, how adorable. A shame I'm going to fucking ruin it.

A wicked grin stretches across my face as I maneuver the sleeping pony across the room and into the bathroom, where the bathtub is now filled almost to the brim with freezing cold water. I stand just at the edge of the tub, holding the sleeping pony. Rainbow snuffles gently, her front hoof twitching.

Without a word, I hold Rainbow out in front of me, and then drop the unwitting pony directly into the water.

The resulting strained scream of utter shock causes me to practically die laughing. I'm splashed with water as Rainbow kicks and flails in the tub. "WHAT THE HAY!?" Rainbow screams viscerally, jerking her head around to try and figure out where she is. Her mane is soaking wet now and covering her eyes and face in such a way that she looks ridiculous. Soon, she spots me laughing hysterically, resting a hand on the door frame to keep myself upright. "SETH!"

"Morning, Dashie!" I greet her cheerfully once I managed to compose myself slightly. Rainbow's face makes me dissolve into merriment once more. She looks scandalized, so I don't think she gets called by that name very often. Which is good. Now you know how it feels when somepony calls me Sethie.

Suddenly, Rainbow crashes into me, getting water all over my face, chest, and hair. "No, you c'mere! You little...you're so dead!" Rainbow yells at me, but I can tell she really isn't all that mad. She knocks me right off my feet and onto the plush mat on the floor of the bathroom. I struggle, trying to get out from underneath her. "No! Sit still! You're the next one going in that water!"

"I'mma go with no..." I say calmly, despite how hard I'm wrestling with her. I'm not getting anywhere, so I decide to test something out by tickling her stomach.

"Ah! No! Stoppit!" Rainbow protests, laughing. Aha, it's working. She's ticklish. I feel her muscles tense slightly, and I seize the opportunity to roll over so I'm on top of her. Well, that much doesn't work, because she finds it easy to change that. So we end up rolling over and over until we hit the tub. "Get in the tub!"

"No fucking way!"

"I said, get in the tub!" Rainbow insists, her voice louder, and then she backs off a bit, allowing me to stand. That's what she wanted though. The moment I stand up, she rushes me again, and I nearly overbalance into the tub. I halt my fall by planting my feet on the ground.

"What in the hay is going...?" Vinyl demands tiredly as she walks into the bathroom. She freezes and stares with a dumbfounded expression, as all she's seeing is a thoroughly soaked Rainbow practically draped across me, trying to push me into the tub. Seconds later, a blush covers my face when I realize that I'm wearing only my boxers. Son of a bitch.

Rainbow and I freeze and look at Vinyl. There's an awkward silence so thick, you could probably hear a pin drop. Then she slowly starts to grin. "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just gonna shut the door and let you two have your..." Vinyl starts to joke, backing out of the door. She suddenly cuts off when she tries to use magic to shut the door behind her. A look of extreme discomfort crosses her face. "What the...there's all this junk in my horn...is that..."

"No, it's fine, Vinyl. Just scrub it all out. You know, it would be an elementary job!" I taunt her. Vinyl's eyes spark with understanding, and she facehoofs.

"You put Liquid Rock in my horn," she deadpans. Her expression causes me to start laughing again. "Ugh, I suppose I deserved that for wrapping you in a sheet."

Suddenly, I receive a buck to the chest from Rainbow. Not expecting it, I tumble right into the tub filled with freezing cold water. "Agh! Fucking...goddammit!" I rage, shivering at the sudden change in temperature.

Rainbow points a hoof at me and laughs raucously, her revenge for my revenge complete. I groan and rub my forehead. Thankfully, though, this works for me somewhat. At least now the water is hiding my body from them. God, why didn't I get dressed first before dropping Rainbow in the tub?

"This is...this is a morning. Hah, I should have known things would be crazy if I put you two in a room together," Vinyl remarks.

"What's that, Vinyl? I can't hear you over the sound of all that Liquid Rock in your horn!" I shoot right back at her with a grin.

"Ugh, this is gonna be a pain to get out..." Vinyl groans and walks towards the vanity. She grunts as she uses magic again to turn on the faucet, while at the same time turning the Liquid Rock back to its aqueous state.

"That's great, clean it later. If you don't mind, could you both kindly get the fuck out so I can take my shower?" I ask them with mock politeness. Now that my adrenaline high is going away, I'm really starting to get cold, and there's no way I'm getting out as long as I'm wearing practically nothing.

"Yeah, I got my revenge. I'm good now," Rainbow acquiesces and turns the other direction. "Hoo, that was fun. Meet you back in the room, Seth!"

Vinyl leaves the room as well, grumbling and rubbing her horn with a hoof. The sight of that makes me chuckle again.

Finally, when she shuts the door, I pull the plug on the bottom of the tub and climb out, dripping wet. Dammit, even my boxers are soaked through. That's my only set too. I take off my boxers as well and wring them out into the draining tub, squeezing as hard as possible to get as much water as I can out of them. I'll wear them even if they're damp, because I'm not wearing jeans without undergarments. That's like asking for a rash.

I hang them over the towel rack to dry (even though I know they're not going to dry in the ten minutes or so it'll take me to shower.), and then turn on the shower, adjusting the temperature so that it's lukewarm. You know, this makes me wonder how the hell they even warm the water without electricity, but then again, the answer is probably magic.

---

Twenty minutes later, I've finished grooming myself, and I've put my damp boxers back on. Unfortunately, I realize that my clothes are still outside, next to my bed. That shouldn't be too much of a problem.

"Hey, pass me my clothes, would you?" I ask, peeking my head out of the door. Rainbow and Vinyl break off from whatever conversation they are having and look at me.

"Why? Just come out and grab them yourself," Rainbow suggests, pointing over to where my clothes are.

"Because I'm not dressed, you idiot!"

"Didn't seem to stop you when you were tussling with Rainbow," Vinyl points out with a grin. I flush slightly, knowing that she's right. Not my fault I got caught up in the heat of the moment. "Come out and grab them. It's not that big of a deal."

"No way. Pass them here," I demand, reaching my hand out. Sighing, Rainbow passes the clothes to me. I immediately shut the door with a word so I can get dressed.

"He's so weird. I mean, we're not wearing clothes," Vinyl remarks, her voice muffled by the door.

"Because you're fucking ponies," I retort from behind the door as I slip on my pants. These are literally the only set of clothes I have with me. Ponies don't have laundry machines, so if I want to wash clothes, I have to do it myself. And I don't have the slightest idea how to do it manually.

A few minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for whatever. I join Rainbow and Vinyl in the middle of the room, where they're sitting on their haunches. "So what's the deal for today?"

"Huh? Oh, same old, really. Breakfast first, and then we mess around in the city until it's time for the show," Vinyl explains.

"Awesome! Hm, what else is there to do in Canterlot," Rainbow muses. "Seth, what do you want to do after breakfast?"

"I already have plans. I'm going to the orchestra's rehearsal hall," I reply nonchalantly. Vinyl proceeds to stare at me as if I've grown a second head.

"What? Why would you go there?" she asks in shock. "They're all just a bunch of stuffed up prudes who play bad music."

Okay, what? Boring music? Hell fucking no, you do not talk shit about the music that ponies worked hard to create. "That has to be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard you say," I grunt irritably. "Music is music. Each genre has its charms. As a musician, you should know that!"

Vinyl looked almost as if I'd slapped her. "But there's no life in orchestra music. It puts me right to sleep!" she protests.

"Then it's not your thing. That's fine, and that's a reason that I can respect. But don't you ever say a style of music is bad," I growl. "Not when those ponies put so much time and effort into it."

"Wow...I didn't know you felt so strongly about this stuff, bro," Vinyl admits, looking thoroughly chastened. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Whatever," I emit, and Vinyl winces. Yeah, she knows she fucked up. Honestly, I could have just ignored her, but she was being so goddamn ignorant I couldn't take it.

"Well, I hope you'll have fun," Rainbow says, breaking the silence that had formed. "But putting all of that aside, how about food now?"

"That sounds good. I'm hungry now," I agree.

---

After Vinyl and Rainbow shower, I grab my rifle, and we leave the hotel and return to the same restaurant that we'd gone to yesterday for breakfast. I now have the bits to pay for the meal, so I decide to give myself a little treat and order not only the Fr...Prench toast again, but also a vanilla milkshake. Because they apparently offer milkshakes in Equestria. Oh well. Not going to look a gift pony in the mouth. (Come on, you knew I had to make that pun at least one time in my journal).

Anyway, that bumped up the cost from 4 bits to 6 bits, leaving me with 40 bits total. Still a crap ton of bits compared to what I'm used to having. And what's great is that's only going to get higher, as long as I don't do shit like splurge anymore.

Rainbow, Vinyl, and I make small talk while we eat. By that, I mean Rainbow and Vinyl talk, while I listen to them and occasionally input a smart ass comment to annoy them. So basically, nothing really worth writing about.

Finally, once we're done with our respective meals, it's about 11:15. I think I woke up a bit later than usual, and then the whole thing with the tub happened, so I guess we spent more time getting out of the hotel than we usually do. Good for me, though.

"I'm heading out, now," I say to the two of them after we pay for the meal. We've just left the restaurant, which means we're all about to split up until later.

"Sweet. I'm gonna go chill with the other ponies from the Blazing Medley. Later, bro," Vinyl responds, breaking off from us, leaving me with Rainbow.

"You going to hang out with Octavia or something?" Rainbow asks curiously, her head craning up to look at me.

"What? Nah, I told you yesterday. She reserved me a room with a piano in it. I'm going to go play on it for a few hours, then meet the rest of you at the bar," I remind her. Don't know why she cares what I'm doing, anyway.

"Heh, yeah, I guess I forgot," Rainbow confesses, chuckling. She puts on what looks like a relieved smile. "See ya later today, Seth."

"Sure," I reply, feeling to lazy to respond in kind. A few moments later, I'm alone, both Rainbow and Vinyl having gone their separate ways.

Now then, I just have to make my way back to the concert hall. From there, if I follow Octavia's poorly executed instructions, I should be able to find the rehearsal hall without much trouble.

---

I make it to the rehearsal hall as easily as I expected. Since they serve similar functions, the rehearsal hall and concert hall look very similar in their exterior design. Fitting with the Canterlot motif, the walls are white and mostly rounded, but the entrances are mostly angular. No, I have no idea which areas are open to the public, but I figure somepony will tell me if I go the wrong way. I pick one of the entrances and walk right inside.

Octavia was right about the place being mostly empty. There's not a lot of ponies walking around inside. Not to say that the place is entirely empty, either. There's a few ponies walking here and there, all of them musicians. Some of them are even carrying instrument cases with them. Most of them are too busy to give me a second glance, but every so often one will stare at me curiously.

There's a counter nearby, made of wood and marble. Behind it is a very bored looking stallion who is sifting through a stack of what looks like paperwork. He looks important, so I approach him, clearing my throat to announce my presence.

"Can I help you?" the stallion addresses me, his eyes roaming up and down my body. It's almost as if he's never seen a hu...no, that joke is dumb. Suffice to say, he's looking at me with interest.

"Yeah. Can you point me to where the practice rooms are?" I request, resting my hands in my pockets.

"Of course, sir. If you turn to your left and follow that hallway until it ends, you'll find them on both of the adjoining hallways." the stallion directs me with a hoof. "You'll have to speak to the pony behind the counter though."

"Got it. Thanks," I tell him casually and continue on my way. Good thing he didn't ask any questions. I'm in no mood to answer them. Then again, I'm never really in the mood to answer questions. Go figure.

His directions are much better than Octavia's, so it isn't long before I find myself walking down the hallway he mentioned. I have no idea what any of these rooms are, because all of the identifying plaques are in fucking Equestrian. It's fine, just today, tomorrow, and apparently the next day before I can go back to Ponyville and learn how to read.

The hallway ends with a small rounded room, in which there is but a single counter with a mare behind it, and two doors that lead to what should be the practice rooms.

"Greetings, sir. Do you have a reservation?" the mare addresses me while still looking at a clipboard on the counter. When she does look at me, she gives a start. She looks like she's about to ask me the obvious question, so I make sure to speak before she can.

"I do, actually. For noon. Should be under the name 'Seth Rogers'" I reply impatiently. Hurry up and do your bureaucratic bullshit so I can get to playing. Time is wasting.

The mare quickly composes herself and looks down at her clipboard, flipping through it until she finds what she's looking for. "Yes, your name is on here. You have room fifteen, down the hall on your right, until three thirty pm," she informs me.

Without another word, I turn down the hallway she indicated, taking the folded sheet of paper that was still in my back pocket. Unfolding it, it's a simple matter to compare the characters there to the characters on the doors until I find the one I'm looking for.

Number 15. Okay, this is it. There's no windows on the heavy wooden door, which means once I'm inside, I don't have to worry about being interrupted. I can't help but get a little excited as I open the door. Four hours entirely to myself with a...holy shit.

The room isn't anything special in terms of looks, but what grabs my attention is the fucking grand piano sitting smack dab in the center of the room. Oh my god, yes please. With my jaw open like a dumb fish, I walk over to it and lay a hand on the polished wood reverently, taking in this majestic instrument.

The top board is open, revealing the gleaming inner works that look like they've been maintained extremely well. I can't help but feel a little giddy. Back in my time, one of my dreams was to one day play a grand piano like this, instead of just an electric keyboard or those tiny ones that chorus rooms often have. But they were so expensive, that I knew it would always be just a distant dream. But to have one right before me...completely free for me to use for four entire hours...this is a fucking dream come true.

The walls are clearly soundproofed as well, because I'm sure some of the other rooms are in use right now, and I didn't hear a sound from them on my way here. Which means I should be able to play to my heart's content.

I sit down on the polyester bench provided for me and start to do basic stretches to loosen my fingers and arms. I'm taking extra care of myself this time, because four straight hours of playing can really do a number on my arms if I don't stretch.

I press down on the center key to test the sound, and oh my god I think I just shivered from the epic. The sound is really clear, and the walls are designed in such a way that the sound is reflected back to me, so it has a rich, deep sound. That is fucking glorious.

Warmup time. I did this just two days ago, so it shouldn't be as hard this time around. I put my fingers to the keys, and start to play my typical warm up piece again.

The arpeggios in the left hand are probably the hardest part of this song, so once I have those down, it becomes easy to play the rest of the song. Oh this is great. This relatively simple song that I've practically mastered over a long period of time sounds so much better on this piano and in this room. I can actually visualize the scene in which this song was played.

The song isn't that long, so I finish it rather quickly without too many errors. Now then, let's see how many other songs I can remember to play in these next four hours.

Just as I look up to get some inspiration, I notice that there's already something on the music stand for the piano. It's sheet music, though what song it is I can't tell, because I can't fucking read. To my delight though, the musical notation is still mostly what I remember. By that, I mean, there's the treble clef, the bass clef, the staff, the notes, etc. However, the marks for dynamics, style, and other such things are in Equestrian.

I can read most of it though. What if...you know what? I'm going to learn to play this song. It's been so long since I've tried to learn new music, so this should be a good experience. I don't know who left their music here, but I'm glad they did.

A quick look at the first page shows me that the left hand is almost entirely arpeggios and chords, while the right hand seems to be a simple melody. I sift through the rest of the song as well, noticing that I was right about the left hand. The right hand, however, goes through seemingly easy notes, but with complicated rhythms that seem like they would be difficult to play at the same time as these arpeggios. Not to mention the arpeggios change practically every measure, so that will take some work to get done as well.

Might as well get started. I'll learn the left hand first, and then add the right later. With a content smile, I start playing the song with only my left hand. Like I said, I can't read the marks for the stylistic changes, so I have to interpret it myself, and add things in.

Hoo, this is difficult. I'm going through so many arpeggios it's hard to keep track of them all. But the challenge is refreshing, so I don't give up until I've made a few run-throughs of the song with just the left hand.

I try adding the right hand as well, but soon find that trying to play those arpeggios that I just learned while learning the new parts and rhythms is just impossible, so I stop and try learning just the right hand. Rhythms are important for this part, so I turn on the clockwork metronome that's resting on top of the piano, provided helpfully for me by the staff.

Unfortunately, I can't read what time signature this is in, so I have to figure that out the hard way, and count how many notes there are in a measure. The arpeggios are six eight notes each and usually take up a whole measure. If I use that as my reference, I think I can guess that the piece is in ¾ time. There's no tempo either, so I can't tell how many notes per minute. Let's go with a moderately slow pace.

This is how I spend an hour of my time in the practice room. This song is beautiful, so my goal is to play it right at least once before I have to leave.

I'm so deep into my practice, that when the door to my practice room opens, I'm taken completely by surprise. I immediately stop playing and stand up, about to tear this bastard a new asshole for daring to interrupt what little time I have.

"I have a reservation, you son of a bitch! Get the hell out of..." I rage, but then I cut off when I see who it is. Octavia smiles at me, letting my insult flow right over her. "Octavia? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course," Octavia responds as if it were obvious. She then turns around and lugs a cart into the room, which is holding her cello case. "I thought you might want some company."

"Hardly. I was enjoying this because I could have all this time entirely to myself," I grumble, bitterness settling over me. Octavia clicks her tongue.

"Now, don't be like that, Seth," she admonishes me, though it's a weak admonishment at best. Really? Stop being annoyed? Let me get right on that. "Have you looked at the song I left for you?"

"What? You left this song for me?" I demand, pointing at the sheet music on the stand.

"That's right. It's one of my favorite songs," Octavia clarifies, shutting the door behind her after she pulls the cart inside. "So, did you?"

"I did. I...may have been trying to learn it," I admit, realizing that I'm not going to be getting rid of her so easily. Octavia's eyes light up, and she puts on a bright smile.

"Splendid! I was hoping you'd say that. That means my trip here will be well spent!" she exclaims, and then she reaches into the cart and pulls out an extendable music stand, which she sets up on the floor not too far from the piano.

"What are you talking about?" I am beyond confused, but I think that goes without saying. Octavia fishes out a glossy black folder made of laminated paper and sets in on the stand she just set up.

"This song isn't just for the piano. While it can be performed with just the piano, it is better expressed through a duet of both piano and cello," Octavia explains. It clicks in my mind just as Octavia removes her cello from its case what she intends to do.

"You want to play with me?" I ask incredulously. Octavia nods. What the fuck. I've never played with someone else before, ever. It's always just been me. Hell, I've never even played in front of anyone until the music store, and I regretted it. "Why!?"

"Seth, I play in an orchestra. Playing with other individuals is part of my job," Octavia reminds me, much to my chagrin. "Besides, I don't know any tolerable pianists I can play this song with."

"You better keep looking. I'm not exactly the most amiable of individuals," I remind her. I almost said people, but thankfully I mentally corrected myself before I said it.

"Oh please. You're not nearly as bad as these two buffoons that sit behind me in the orchestra, constantly challenging me for my chair," Octavia says dismissively, setting up her cello and lifting the bow with her right hoof. "Now then, shall we begin?"

"Am I even getting a choice here?" I demand, rubbing my forehead. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable playing with somepony else here."

"You always have a choice, Seth. You're free to tell me to leave, if you so choose," Octavia corrects me. Wait really? I can just tell her to fuck off, and she will? "All I'm saying is that you should try it. Working together to make music is a fulfilling experience."

"I doubt that. I've always found practicing on my own is fulfilling enough," I say doubtfully. Octavia thinks for a moment, and then she makes a a small sound, as if she'd had an idea.

"Let's make a small wager then, shall we?" Octavia offers. I raise an eyebrow. "Let's rehearse together. If you don't enjoy it, I'll treat you to lunch tomorrow."

Is she really making this into a fucking bet? Even so...free lunch. Not technically free, since I'd be doing this rehearsal thing for her, but that's only if I hate it. "What happens if I lose this bet?" I ask tentatively.

Octavia smiles. "If you enjoy the rehearsal, you enjoy the rehearsal. It's as simple as that. So really, either way, you win. What do you say?"

I ponder that for a moment. I'm still not sure I'm comfortable with all of this, but still, I get free lunch if I don't enjoy it. Might as well give it a shot. "Fine, I guess. What do you want me to do?"

"Do? Just start playing, and we'll see how far we get," Octavia directs me. I nod, and then heave a sigh. Well, if I'm going to do this, I might as well get it over with.

I start playing the first measure. I don't get very far, however, before Octavia stops me. "You're playing too fast. Slow down and let the melody flow," she directs me. Irritated, I try again. To my surprise, it does sound better at this speed. Is this what it's like to have an instructor? I taught myself how to play, so I have no clue.

Playing both hands on this song is hard, but this time I manage to do it, if a bit shakily. The whole time I'm playing, Octavia remains completely still. Her lack of movement lasts until measure seventeen, when there is written an odd pause in the melody. Like, for some reason, the left hand continues without the right hand. When I was playing it earlier, that always struck me as odd.

When I start playing the melody again, Octavia puts her bow to the cello and starts to play. The cello's deep sound blends very well into the sound of my piano, adding depth to the melody and making it sound so much better. Goddamn, this sounds beautiful as fuck.

I've just started to learn how to play this song, so I'm not perfect, making a few stutters along the way. Octavia is very patient though, recovering well to each mistake I make. Nothing I do trips her up. Even when my hands derp for seemingly no reason and I have to pause the music for a moment, Octavia stops as well and waits for me to continue before she picks up again, right where we left off.

After finishing the song once, we take a short break. That was far from perfect, but Octavia doesn't seem disappointed. "Now then, there are a few stylistic things I'd like to mention," she says, setting her cello down carefully and approaching me with a pencil, which she puts into her mouth.

I watch as she marks a few things down on the sheet music. "That's a crescendo," Octavia tells me, circling a certain set of characters on the page. To speak clearly, she had to take the pencil out of her mouth for a moment. "That's a decrescendo," she continues, checking next to another part.

"I see," I acknowledge, but inwardly I'm glad I can see the dynamic changes. Now I don't have to worry about interpreting the high and low points of the piece.

"Shall we run through it again?" Octavia asks with a smile. I nod, and the two of us jump into another rendition.

The time seems to fly by as Octavia and I work on the piece together. After the first few playthroughs, I get over the fact that I'm not playing alone, and I put all of my effort into making this song the best it can be in the time I have left.

Octavia is very helpful. Sometimes she'll stop us in the middle of a run-through to make a stylistic note, or even change what's already there to something that sounds better. She never gets on my back for messing up either, which I do a lot since it's a new piece for me.

With each new run-through, my playing gets stronger and I make less mistakes. I also admit that I'm having a lot of fun with this. This is my first time playing with someone else, and I find that I actually like it. This is a beautiful piece. The sound of the piano goes very well with the deep tones of the cello, to the point where if we master this, I feel like it would move me just to play it.

Finally, when it's around 3:15 and we only have fifteen minutes left, Octavia looks at me with a satisfied expression. "I think we have time for one more run-through before it's time to leave."

I grin back at her. "I think we do too. Let's do this." I put my fingers to the keys, and we go at it with a passion, using everything we've learned over these few hours we've spent together.

---

We walk out of the practice room together after we finish that last run-through, which is one I feel particularly satisfied with. In fact, I have to admit, I enjoyed the hell out of that. It's weird to know that I'm not the only one who feels so strongly about music. When we were in that room together, nothing else mattered but the music we made. It was an incredible feeling.

"Okay, you win," I admit to Octavia as we pass by the counter, where the mare promptly does a double take when she sees me with the popular cello player. "That was fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it..." Octavia expresses. She then adopts a wry grin. "And so is my bank account. The lunch place I had in mind is rather expensive, you see."

"I hear that. This is Canterlot, after all," I say understandingly. Finally, we come to a stop near the counter of the stallion that had directed me earlier, though I'm confused as to why we're stopping. So I voice that to her.

"Unfortunately, we must part here. I still have rehearsal with the rest of the orchestra today," Octavia admits sadly. "And I think I am busy until for the rest of your time here."

"That sucks," I reply, and I mean it. Too bad I can't do this with her again. Or ever, since I doubt I'll be coming back to Canterlot if I can help it. "Yeah, I'll be back in Ponyville soon."

"Perhaps I should give you my mailing address? I wouldn't mind coming down for a visit to play some more, if that's all right with you," Octavia offers, much to the shock of the stallion behind the counter.

"Sounds good to me, though it might be difficult finding a piano while we're there," I inform her. The only piano I know of there is Lyra's, and like I said before, I don't want anything to do with her if I can help it.

"Don't worry about that. I know a few ponies down there that can help," Octavia assures me, and then she writes down what I assume is her mailing address on a sheet of paper that she pulls from somewhere in her cart. The stallion behind the counter promptly stares slack-jawed at us. "Here."

"Did..." the stallion stammers, looking at me with wide eyes. Octavia and I both look at him with raised eyebrows, just noticing that he exists. "Did you just exchange mailing addresses with Octavia?"

I can't help it. I have to laugh at the look on this guy's face. What, so he's a fan, and he's jealous? That's fucking priceless. I have to resist the urge to flap the address in his face to see if he'll try and kill me for it. Octavia, however, looks affronted. "What? I'm not that unapproachable, am I?"

"I dunno, your face when you play is pretty damn frightening," I tease her, causing her to flush in embarrassment.

"No it isn't...are you being serious?" she asks in a scared tone.

"I might be," I respond ambiguously, and then I turn the other direction. "Well, you and I both have places to be. So I'll see you later."

"Of course. I look forward to receiving your letter," Octavia says, and then, with a small two-fingered wave, I leave her and the rehearsal hall behind.

You know, apart from getting my shit wrecked by Celestia on top of the mountain, I think I can safely say that this Canterlot trip has turned out to be pretty fun. It's been a lot better than I expected, that's for sure.

And who knows what other stuff I can experience before it's time to head back?

---

Author's Note:

Okay, and here's more music! Sheesh, when I planned this arc, I had no idea I was going to be writing about music so much. Well...then again...the only thing I'd actually planned when going into this arc was "Some shit with Rainbow, meet Cadance, and fight Celestia." That was literally my thought process when planning it. I think it turned out pretty well for a rough draft, despite the lack of planning.

Took me forever to find a Piano x Cello duet that I actually liked. At first, I wanted a fast one, but none of those existed, so I looked for a slow one that I liked. Song for Sienna was the one I chose. It's a really lovely song.

Anyway, I think I can finish this up in one more chapter. I'm not sure though, in case some more unplanned stuff happens to me.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think!

So I suppose there's no time for me to do any else except go to the bar and set things up. With a sigh, I put my hands in my pockets and make my way back.

It's weird though. I don't really have any plans for the rest of this trip. After this gig, there's only one more day before we've finished what we came to do. And then we're apparently sticking around one more day so that Vinyl and Rainbow can go see the Hearth's Warming Pageant.

That reminds me, Hearth's Warming is in two days. Celestia told me the ponies give gifts to each other like humans do on Christmas. Though the exact day is different, since Christmas has technically already passed. I wonder if I'll have to sit through Vinyl and Rainbow doing that shit.

And should I be going to this pageant as well? I mean, if I don't, I'll be completely alone for who knows how long, and I doubt I can get another reservation at the rehearsal hall. Celestia also said it would be available to those with lower incomes, so I can probably afford to get in, but do I really want to?

It's supposed to celebrate the founding of Equestria, so maybe it'll be historically accurate and educational. That appeals to me somewhat, but every time I hear the word "pageant," all I can think of are those dumb Christian things churches do on Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus. I don't really believe in taking things on faith, so religious based holidays generally fall flat for me.

In other words, those types of pageants drive me nuts. The only god that's been proven (ish?) to exist is Discord, because I've actually seen him and his effect on the world. And I'm rambling. I'm still trying to figure out whether going to this pageant is a good idea or not. Vinyl said I'd get a kick out of it, but I don't think she knows me well enough to make that kind of judgment.

Oh well. I still have some time to think about that. In the meantime, since I'm lost in thought, my feet have led me someplace random. I'm in the shopping district. How the fuck did I get here?

Finally, I end up back at the bar, after backtracking through the festive district. (I don't know if they really call it that, but fuck them, this is my journal).

Walking inside, I see that Vinyl's already got the cart here, and is just now starting to unload. She spots me the moment I walk inside. "Hey there! You're just in time. Come help me unload all this stuff," she calls to me.

I pass Rainbow on the way to the stage area. "S'up, Seth? How was the rehearsing?" she asks curiously, hovering in midair in a relaxed pose. Too relaxed. I almost want to knock her down or something, because I'm an asshole.

"I was locked in a room for four hours. You tell me," I grunt, uninterested in answering. I think I already mentioned how I hate questions like that.

"Oh wow, that sounds awful. Was it that bad?" Rainbow sympathizes with a grimace. I give her a deadpan expression right before I reach the stage.

"No, I loved it, idiot. Hello? I like music. Where the hell have you been?" I retort tapping her on the head with a finger. She nips at me playfully, causing me to withdraw my hand hastily with a chuckle.

"Okay, smart aleck. Celestia forbid you give me a straight answer," Rainbow remarks wryly.

"Of course not. Not when you ask me a dumb question like that. Sheesh, it's like asking someone if they slept well."

"Oh come on, that's a reasonable question! It means we care whether or not nightmares kept you up or something. It's basic kindness!" Rainbow protests.

"Nightmares? Please. Those are just like horror movies. And I fucking love horror movies," I retort. Rainbow's fucking face at that comment makes me laugh. "Your face right now."

"Hey! Less talking and more working! You want to get paid, right?" Vinyl interrupts. With a shrug, I leave Rainbow behind and hop up on the stage. Well, here goes.

---

The night passes without really much to talk about. Vinyl plays some more of her electronic stuff while I eat dinner with Rainbow, which costs me another 4 bits. That puts me at 36 bits. Still quite a bit. I'm not worried. Especially not with the payment I get at the end of the night.

Yeah, I get another 66 bits by the time tonight's show ends. So now I have a whopping 102 bits. I can't help but feel giddy at my new found fortune. Still nothing compared to what Vinyl's getting, but I could give less a shit what she's got. I already know everypony is richer than me. Since they all have houses and shit.

Then it's just a matter of packing up and getting back to the hotel again. I swear, all this exertion I've been doing over the past week is starting to take it's toll on me. Like, I don't really get winded just from taking a walk up a set of stairs anymore. It's an odd feeling, knowing I'm not as pathetic as I used to be. Not even counting my magic, of course.

Like yesterday, we go to sleep right after leaving the cart with the staff. Who knows what I'm going to do tomorrow.

Surprisingly enough, the next morning passes by mostly uneventfully. I say that because Vinyl and Rainbow woke up before me, so they were in the shower when I woke up. So there really wasn't any opportunity for me to prank them. Not that there's any call for that now at the moment anyway. They haven't done anything to me yet.

It's weird that I enjoy pranking them. I've never pranked anybody back in my time because it was stupid and childish, but ever since pranking Twilight with the fake book, I find I've acquired a taste for it. It is childish and stupid, but the one part I never realized way back then was how fucking funny it can be. Twilight's fucking face with the pie all over it still makes me laugh to myself on occasion. That's easily the best memory I have of her...considering I don't really like her all that much.

As before, we visit the same breakfast place. This time I order myself an omelet, because while Prench toast (I'll never get over how dumb that pun is) is good, I want to try other things as well. That drops me down to 98 bits.

Afterward, Vinyl, Rainbow, and I decide to wander the city together for once. We first visit the shopping district, and drift from shop to shop, visiting every one we see. Well, almost every one. By that I mean I tell the two mares that I'm not going anywhere near that extremely feminine looking store. Rainbow and Vinyl actually agree with me, reminding me once again why I enjoy hanging out with tomboys.

So that takes up a good few hours of our time. With the little time we have left, we head to the festive district and watch some of the ponies there playing sports, because Rainbow thinks it would be a good idea. I personally don't agree, but that's because I hate sports in general. Unless I'm playing them with a friend. Though...that was only ever with Amaryllis, and she was more important than the fact it was sports.

Then comes another gig, which is literally the same as the last two. That's why I'm skipping over most of this. There's literally nothing I can say about it that I haven't already. And since I'll likely be reading back through this eventually, I don't want to bore myself.

Taking into account meal expenses, I end up with 160 bits total. That's pretty a pretty hefty amount of bits. I don't know how much a house is in Ponyville, but I bet if I save up, I'll be able to afford one soon. Especially since Ponyville doesn't really look like a place for the wealthy.

Anyway, sleep time for me. Tomorrow is Hearth's Warming Day. I guess I'll figure out what I'm doing as I go along. That's generally how I've been living up until now anyway.

---

"Seth! Wake up, wake up! It's Hearth's Warming!" yells a familiar scratchy voice, sounding directly in front of my face. With a groan, I open my eyes tiredly, having been in the middle of a particularly entertaining dream involving dragons and zombies. I don't even know, I can't remember it anymore anyway.

So Rainbow is hovering practically right above me, looking as excited as all hell. Oh right, this is their Christmas, isn't it? No wonder she's excited. However..."Can you be excited somewhere out of my face?" I groan, pushing Rainbow's muzzle aside. That earns me a nip on the hand though. "Oh for the...would you stop that!? You're as bad as a fucking dog!"

"Less complaining, more waking up! Hearth's Warming Day is here! Get up!" Rainbow completely ignores me and starts trying to drag me out of the bed by grabbing my feet. Irritated, I kick at her.

"All right, fine! I'm getting up, just back the fuck off. Sheesh," I complain, sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I notice that Vinyl is nowhere to be seen. Huh, wonder where she went? Might as well ask. "Where's Vinyl?"

"She went to the post office, to grab our presents from Ponyville!" Rainbow's excitement is just not going down. She even does a loop in midair for no reason at all. "I can't wait to see what I get this year!"

"What do I care? I already told you lot not to get me anything, so..." I trail off when what Rainbow said actually sinks in. "Oh fuck."

"What?"

"Twilight and the others don't know not to get me stuff," I say with a sigh, rubbing my forehead. They're probably all going to get me something. Pinkie I know is going to get me something. Twilight, maybe. Rarity...maybe more clothes, which I still plan to confront her about. I already satisfied that deal with her, so she shouldn't be making any more for me. Applejack...I have no idea. "I hope their presents come with receipts."

"Really? You're going to return whatever they get you?" Rainbow demands incredulously. "It's Hearth's Warming! It's a tradition to get gifts for poni...for individuals you care about."

"Yeah, but they don't care about..."

"Say whatever you want, but I know there are ponies that care about you back in Ponyville. I know for a fact that Derpy sent you something," Rainbow cuts across me. I raise an eyebrow at that. That's true, Derpy has been really over affectionate with me for some reason. "I'm not gonna let you return their gifts."

"What, are you going to threaten me now?" I say irritably, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. I hear Rainbow sigh in exasperation.

"No...but you'd really look like a jerk if you return their gifts. It's like you're spitting on their kindness," Rainbow says somewhat calmer. She's also speaking in that tone that she usually does when she's being completely serious.

"When have I ever given a fuck what other ponies think?" I reply uncaringly, not giving one shit about other ponies' "kindness." That earns an annoyed groan from Rainbow.

"You're so stubborn! Look, can't you make an exception? Just for Hearth's Warming Day?" Rainbow pleads. I remain silent. "Come on, don't humans have a holiday like this? Where it's all about showing your appreciation to family and friends?"

"Sort of. I don't really want to talk about it," I tell her flatly. Even so, I can't help but remember the last Christmas I had, where my family and Amaryllis' family met up for dinner and gifts. That's...where I got my headphones. The headphones that are now sitting in the Everfree Forest, deep underground. You know, I have power now. Maybe I'll go back there sometime and get them back, even if they don't work anymore.

Oh right, Rainbow still wants an answer. "Whatever. I'll see what happens. If they get me anything too expensive, I'm fucking returning it," I grunt. Rainbow heaves another sigh, only this time it's of relief.

"That's fair, I guess. Anyway, Vinyl will be here any..." she begins, and then as if on cue, Vinyl steps in through the door, lugging a cart filled high with gift-wrapped boxes of varying sizes into the room with her. "...second. Oh sweet Celestia, look at all those presents!"

"I know right? This year's haul has got me pretty psyched," Vinyl agrees with a grin, shutting the door. She immediately starts fishing out some of the presents, glancing at them excitedly and then sorting them into piles. "Actually, saying 'haul' sounds a little greedy. More like, I'm super excited to see what my friends have gotten for me this year."

"Yeah, I was about to say, miss miser," Rainbow teases her, earning a laugh from Vinyl as she continues to pull presents out of the cart.

"Oh hey, this one's for you, Seth," Vinyl informs me, causing me to sit back up and look at her curiously. A medium-sized rectangular box wrapped in mint green striped packaging hovers over to me courtesy of Vinyl's magic. I have a sneaking suspicion as to who it's from even before I check the tag.

A sinking feeling falls over me as I check the tag. Sure enough, it's addressed from one "Lyra Heartstrings" to her "favorite human." And yes, it's actually written in English, though how she knows how to do that is beyond me. Fucking...I knew it. And bitch, I'm the only human you know. I hook my fingernails underneath one of the folds of paper in an attempt to start opening it.

"Hey! Don't open them yet! We have to take turns!" she chastises me. I set the present down obediently. Not like I really care. I don't want any of these presents in the first place, so waiting doesn't bother me.

Vinyl continues to dole out more presents from the cart. Rainbow has a veritable pile of them right now, as does Vinyl herself. And...wait, did I just get another one? And another? Holy fucking shit, stop it right now.

Much to my utter shock, I end up with a sizable pile of them myself. What the fuck...there's more than six here! Who the hell cares about me enough to give me something? I thought I was pretty much an asshole the whole time I was in Ponyville.

Finally, the cart is empty, and we all have large piles of presents to open, though Vinyl's and Rainbow's are much larger than mine, which makes sense. They've lived here all their lives.

"Sweet, that takes care of that. Look at all this stuff," Vinyl remarks, clopping her two front hooves together excitedly. "Seth, why don't you open the first one?"

"Why me?"

"Yeah, go for it, Seth! I wanna see what you got!" Rainbow encourages me with a grin.

"Fucking...fine," I grunt. Before I open the first of my presents, I take a few moments to put on my shirt and pants underneath the blankets, so I can actually get out of bed. "Let's open Lyra's first; get that shit out of the way."

I grab the mint green package again and easily rip the paper off of it to reveal a brown cardboard box. Being the asshole I am, the first thing I do is feign an excited gasp. "Holy shit, I got a box! Just what I always wanted!"

"Just hurry and open the box, you silly human," Vinyl says to me, shaking her head and chuckling, while Rainbow promptly facehoofs.

The box is easy to open, so I lift the lid. Inside the box is a black folder that looks an awful lot like the one Octavia had that held her music. Hold on, did she really get me...holy shit. Inside the folder is a set of sheet music with a bunch of complicated notes and rhythms on it, as well as a card.

Before I say anything, I open the card...and then realize I can't fucking read Equestrian! Goddammit. I look up, and I see Vinyl extending a hoof to me with a knowing smile on her face. With a grunt, I pass the card to her so she can read it to me.

Vinyl clears her throat and begins. "Dear Sethie..."

"Fuck you Lyra!" I immediately groan loudly, imagining the horrible things that I'm going to do to her when I see her again. Rainbow chuckles behind a hoof, while Vinyl looks at me impatiently.

"Like I was saying. Dear Sethie, while I know this gift is probably unwelcome to you, I remember seeing how much you enjoyed it when I played my lyre in the park, so I thought I'd transcribe the melody for you on paper, so you can play it too. I hope you're having a wonderful Hearth's Warming Day, and I can't wait to see you when you get back from Canterlot! Love, Lyra." Vinyl finishes, and then both she and Rainbow look at me for my reaction.

She...somehow figured out the fact that I'm a musician somehow. This music is written on a double staff, so I'm assuming it's written for her lyre, but thankfully the score here can be played by a piano without any real need for arranging it. Looking at it, I can already hear how the first few notes would flow together in my head, and it certainly does sound familiar. And while I don't care for Lyra, that song she played was really good. And...she gave it to me.

"Thanks, I guess. Rather useless when I don't have a piano to play it with," I say bitterly, placing the folder aside. "Somepony else take your turn."

Vinyl and Rainbow exchange looks. They look either worried or confused. Or both. I can't tell, because I'm not a fucking mind reader like Celestia is.

"All right, my turn!" Rainbow says, her excitement returning as she grabs the first present on her pile. It's colored a lavender color, and is around the same size as mine, only smaller and thicker. Rainbow peers at the tag. "Oh, it's from Twilight. Which means this is probably a book."

Vinyl and I watch quietly as Rainbow tears open the paper with her teeth. The moment Rainbow is able to make out the title of the book, she lets out a loud whoop, ripping the rest of the paper off with one jerk of her head. "Yes! Twilight, you're the best!" Rainbow exclaims, hugging the book and doing a backwards flip in midair. When she lands, she shows the cover to us.

It depicts a mare with a brown coat, a gray mane (which makes me want to make a Skyrim reference so bad, but I don't because they wouldn't get it), and a pith helmet making her way through what looks to be a labyrinth with black walls. Looks like something out of a Tomb Raider game. I'm about to ask what the title of the book is when Vinyl speaks up. "Oh sweet, Daring Do and the Obsidian Labyrinth. That's the newest one, right?"

"Oh, so that's Daring Do," I remark, remembering that dumb Marco Polo rip-off game that Apple Bloom and Sweetie had wanted me to play with them.

"Ohmigosh! I can't wait to read it!" Rainbow squeals, that fangirl side appearing once more. Ugh. Though I'm honestly curious to see what the hype is all about, especially since even the foals know who Daring Do is.

"I might as well open Twilight's present for me then," Vinyl reasons, grabbing her lavender colored package as well. Upon unwrapping her present, another book is revealed, much to nobody's surprise. Vinyl seems to be pleased by what she sees, though. "Oh! Totally awesome! It's a book on mixing techniques. Where the hay did she get this?"

"From a library? Dumb ass," I retort, earning an exasperated stare from Vinyl. "You know, the one she lives in? Anyway, I guess it's my turn."

I look through the pile out of curiosity, and sure enough, there's one from Twilight here as well. Since Vinyl and Rainbow already opened their gifts from Twilight, I might as well do the same.

I pick up Twilight's package, noticing with some trepidation that it's the same shape as Vinyl's and Rainbow's, which means it's a book. Did she forget I can't read?

Wait, hang on, there's a weird hard lump in this package. I rip open the packaging to see a book with a black cover, with a very inaccurate portrayal of a human on it's cover. Is this one of the human books? That's not all though. The lump turns out to be a strange bluish marble. "The fuck is this?" I ask in confusion, showing it to Vinyl.

"Oh! I know what that is. Hang on," Vinyl tells me. Her horn lights up, and then suddenly the marble in my hand starts to glow.

A second later, a fucking holographic image of Twilight herself appears in midair above the marble, which is apparently some kind of projector. That's kinda cool, I guess. Twilight clears her throat, and then starts to speak.

"Hey there, Seth! Happy Hearth's Warming Day! I know we've hit a bit of a rough patch in our relationship..." I give a scoff at that. That's an understatement. But I wouldn't know, since I'm still wallowing in self-pity. Bitch. "...but I still care about you, and as such I wanted you to have this, because I feel it will be an enlightening read for you. I heard about your reading lessons from Cheerilee, so I'm hoping you'll view this book as a goal that you can strive to meet. After all, having a clear goal can help increase productivity! In conclusion, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, and I can't wait to see you again."

The message cuts out there, and I'm left with an inert marble. Because I'm strange and I like to save my messages, I pocket the marble and set the book aside. "Wonderful. A book I can't even read. But I bet I can 'view it as a goal!' Fucking Twilight," I comment.

Another round of presents goes around, with Rainbow getting a flight uniform from Rarity which looks a bit too flashy to me, an opinion that Rainbow seems to share, judging by the look on her face. "Thanks Rarity," Rainbow says wryly. "I'll be sure to wear it...eventually."

"Oh no, this one's from my Pops," Vinyl notes with a tinge of dread in her voice, as she holds her next present.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. I notice that Rainbow is snickering behind her hoof. There must be some joke I'm missing.

"Last year, he got her a very inappropriate..." Rainbow begins, but Vinyl stuffs a wad of paper into her mouth with magic, a blush suffusing her face. Oh god, Vinyl's blushing? It must have been pretty bad, because I've never seen Vinyl blush.

"Suffice to say, he likes to party pretty hard. I'm not sure I should open this here," Vinyl says hesitantly. Rainbow spits out the paper and looks at her.

"Nah, go on, do it! We're all friends here," she assures Vinyl. That gets me to shoot her a glare. Speak for yourself. I haven't decided if I'm friends with Vinyl yet. Even so, I'm curious to see what Vinyl's father got her.

With that encouragement, Vinyl opens the wrapping paper, as well as the small box inside. There's an uncomfortable silence as Vinyl stares at the contents with an unreadable expression. Slowly, her right eye starts to twitch. "Pops..." she says in a dangerously calm voice.

"What, what is it? Show us!" Rainbow insists, attempting to inch closer. Much to my shock, disgust, and amusement, Vinyl slowly lifts a set of frilly electric blue lingerie out of the box.

My eye starts to twitch as well, even as I start to laugh. Rainbow's eyes widen, and then seconds later she falls over laughing hysterically.

"Is he trying to tell his own daughter to get rutted!?" Vinyl screams incredulously, staring at the lingerie with a scandalized look. That does it. Suddenly I find it hard to breathe because I'm fucking laughing so much. Oh god, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

"Oh Celestia, your father is the greatest!" Rainbow chokes out between bouts of nonstop laughing. "That's just too funny!"

Vinyl proceeds to tuck the undergarments back in the box and toss it as far away from her as she can. "Thanks for nothing, pops!" she yells, and then she pouts, her eye still twitching.

When we manage to put ourselves back together, it circles around to my turn. Since I don't really care what the others get, I'll just say what I get.

The next present I open is from Derpy. Inside is...a fucking muffin. I don't know what I expected. Vinyl helps me read the accompanying message, which is "Happy Hearth's Warming Day! Thanks for being so nice. Have a muffin."

What a joke. I'm not nice at all...you just happen to be the kind of pony that I don't have the heart to be mean to. Even so, this muffin is delicious.

Next is a pink package covered images of balloons and candy. Gee, I wonder who this could be from. Since I've already seen the phrase, "Happy Hearth's Warming Day" twice now, I recognize the characters for it, but I still need help to read the rest. "To my bestest friend. From Pinkie." She's still crazy, I see. Feel free to consider me your friend, because that won't change a damn thing, miss annoying...okay, you're now less annoying. These cupcakes she gave me are fucking amazing.

"Seth, quit eating all the food. You won't have room for breakfast," Rainbow admonishes, earning a disbelieving look from me.

"What are you, my mother? Fuck you, this is my breakfast," I retort. Rainbow just facehoofs at that.

Oh my god, how many presents are left? I still see a purple one, a cyan colored one, a really small yellow one, and orange one. Sheesh, this is a lot more than I expected. Guess I'll open them in order.

The purple one is from Rarity. Of course it is. Who else would send me a gift wrapped in purple paper? And it's more clothes. Awesome, a new set of boxers, a set of soft pants and a matching shirt, and...are those fucking flip flops? How the hell does she know how to make those!? Holy hell, this is actually a nice gift.

"Oh my god...fucking SHOES!" I exclaim, lifting the flip flops up so that the others can see them. They both look confused at that. "My poor feet, you have served me well. You can now have some sweet relief!"

"Are you...quite all right?" Vinyl asks me with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut the fuck up," is my immediate response, which causes her to shrug and start opening her next gift.

The cyan box is from Flitter. That's odd, I didn't think she cared that much about me. I mean, all I ever did was be an ass to her. I half expected this one to be from Rainbow, even though I told her not to get me anything.

Anyway, what's in it is...a blanket. Like, seriously. Now, it's a very soft and warm blanket, but why the hell would she give one to me? "For when you get cold," is the attached tag, which I can read thanks to Vinyl. Thanks, I guess.

"Oh, this one's from Apple Bloom," Vinyl says after I show her the tag of the tiny yellow present.

"Huh. Okay, let's see what she got me," I say, bemused. I unwrap the small object, noticing that it feels elastic. "What the..."

It's a fucking hair band. Not the ones that you push on, thankfully, but the ones that are like rubber bands, only made of different, stronger materials.

"Okay, what? Apple Bloom, what the hell were you thinking?" I demand, passing the card to Vinyl, who unfolds it curiously.

"Hi Seth!" Vinyl begins reading. "Here's a gift for you that I made. Actually we all made it, even Scootaloo. I have a lot to talk to you about and...Sweetie Belle says I'm too off topic, whatever that means. This is for your hair, when you're working!"

"Even Scootaloo? Wow, I wonder what they had to do to get her in on that," Rainbow says with surprise. "Last I checked, she still didn't like you."

"That's fine, because I still don't like her," I remark, looking down at the hair band. Yeah, it's true that my hair does get rather stringy and disgusting after a long day at work, and it's even worse when it falls in front of my face while I'm sweating. This...might help, if I can get over the fact that only girls use these. While Rainbow and Vinyl watch, I reach back behind my head and attempt to try on the hair band. Only because it's Apple Bloom. I wouldn't do this for anypony else. It takes a few tries, but I manage to get it on, such that my hair is mostly pulled back away from my face and is hanging down my back in a ponytail. Heh, ponytail.

"You look...different," Rainbow comments, while I stare blankly ahead, trying to figure out whether or not I like the way this feels. It feels weird, but I can see how it would help while I'm working.

However, all it takes is one look in the mirror for me to immediately take it off and pocket it. God, I looked so fucking bad. The loose look just looks so much better on me. "Yeah, that was weird. Thanks Apple Bloom, but I think I'll only use it when working," I agree.

Okay, next is this orange one. If the past trends are anything to go by, this is from Applejack. Though what she would have to give me is beyond me. Opening this one reveals...pastries? There's like, pastries of some kind in here...though if they're not apple flavored, I'll eat my new shoes.

I taste one of them and holy shit I've never had anything apple flavored ever taste this good. So yeah, I won't be needing breakfast. Rainbow facehoofs when she sees me eating all the pastries in less than a minute. "What? I like food," I say in response.

Soon, all of our presents have been unwrapped, and all of the wrapping paper has been disposed of by placing them in bags. So basically, we're now sitting in the middle of piles of stuff, like a typical Christmas. I didn't get really all that much, but that's exactly what I wanted. I can always pay Pinkie, Applejack, and Derpy back for the food, and Lyra...Lyra I just want stay away from. Twilight probably just gave me a book from the library. That I can't even read yet.

It's safe to say that this is the most disappointing Christmas ever, because I didn't get to spend it with my family. Technically it's not Christmas, but whatever.

"So what now?" I ask, since I don't think we have anything else on the schedule, until whenever that pageant is. Looking at Vinyl, she has her muzzle buried deep into that book on mixing styles. As for Rainbow...huh? For some reason, she looks rather...antsy, for lack of a better word. She keeps shifting her gaze between the clock and the door, and occasionally at me. "Rainbow, what's the matter with you?"

"Wha...huh? Nothing's the matter," Rainbow says shakily, to the point where I can tell it's a lie. I cross my arms and give her a stare that lets her know how much I'm not buying it. "Um...I mean...it's just that she should have been here by now."

"Wait what? You invited somepony else to this?" Even Vinyl looks confused by that. We both look at Rainbow expectantly. Rainbow starts to sweat under our gazes. I hope she hasn't done anything stupid. I don't know anypony else in Canterlot that both she and I would know, and I'll be mad if she's just invited some random bitch here.

"I...I can't say..." Rainbow answers uncomfortably.

"What the hell is such a big deal?" I ask. I almost lash out at her for keeping secrets, but then I realized how hypocritical that would be. Rainbow looks down at the ground, avoiding my gaze. That's not good. Rainbow, what the fuck did you..

Suddenly, somepony knocks on the door. Rainbow immediately zooms over to it like a fucking rocket and opens it, an looking extremely relieved, yet at the same time anxious.

"Thank you, Rainbow Dash," the mare out in the hall says in an elegant voice, just as she begins to walk inside. A snow white unicorn steps into the room, her styled pink mane cascading down one side of her face, and not the other. Her violet eyes blink as she looks around the room, taking in its appearance, as well as its occupants. "How has your Hearth's Warming Day been so far?"

I can't help but notice something familiar about her as her eyes meet mine for a moment. "Totally awesome! Even better now that you're here. I was getting a bit worried, to be honest," Rainbow admits, bowing her head in reverence. Rainbow, giving that kind of respect to another pony? Suddenly I get suspicious.

"I apologize for being late. I'm afraid the council hindered me far more than I expected," the mare says ruefully, and then she giggles. "So I gave them the slip."

"Council? Are you a member of the council?" Vinyl questions, looking alarmed. She looks around at the messy state of the room, and then back at the mare sheepishly. I cross my arms. I think I know who this is, though what's she's doing here is beyond me. To confirm my suspicious, I lean a bit to the right and glance at her flank. Sure enough, there's a sun related butt tattoo.

"Hm? Oh, I suppose I don't need this disguise any longer. One moment," the obviously fake mare responds. Her horn starts to glow a golden yellow, and then she starts to change.

She grows several feet, to the point where she's slightly taller than I am, majestic white wings sprouting from her shoulders. Her horn practically doubles in size, and her mane turns from pink to four different cool colors, and starts to flow as if blowing in an unseen wind. Princess Celestia in all of her overpowered glory is standing in our shitty little hotel room. Well, I certainly did not see this coming.

"P...Princess Celestia!?" Apparently, neither did Vinyl, seeing as her jaw practically hits the fucking floor. So...Rainbow invited Celestia here for some reason or another. I do hope she starts explaining soon.

"Greetings, Vinyl Scratch. It has been a while since I last saw you," Celestia greets her gracefully, dipping her head respectfully. "I apologize for the lack of notice, but it was meant to be a surprise."

Celestia then turns to look at me, smiling. I return her gaze with a pensive stare, my arms crossed. "Why are you even here?" is the first thing out of my mouth. Vinyl looks at me as if I've gone insane, as does Rainbow. I don't think either of them have seen me around Celestia.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Seth," she says to me kindly, ignoring my blatant disrespect like she always does. Because nothing phases Celestia ever.

"Yes, but shouldn't you be at Day Court or whatever?" I say impatiently, remembering how I'd had to wait a few days ago, just before I had my shit wrecked. Celestia actually looks somewhat guilty.

"Actually, yes...I should be," Celestia admits to my surprise. "I wanted to take the day off because of the holiday, but my council insisted that I wait."

"But you're the law, right? Why can't you just tell them to fuck off?"

"I could have, I suppose, but they really do mean well. There's really nothing for me to scold them for," Celestia explains.

"Except for...you know...holding you hostage on a national holiday?" I point out, though at this point I'm not sure what I'm trying to argue. Maybe I'm just trying to find imperfections in the system.

Celestia laughs musically at my words. "Nopony is holding me hostage. The council simply feels that it would be good for the public to see me on such a historic day. And they will. Just not at Day Court."

"Oh my god. The Royal Princess of the Sun is fucking playing hooky," I say incredulously. This is both sad and funny as hell at the same time. "What about all the ponies who need their problems addressed?"

"It won't be a problem. My secretary is actually quite competent at handling matters of state. Day Court can handle itself without me for one day," Celestia assures me. Not that I needed assuring. I just think it's hilarious that Celestia isn't as perfect as I thought, if she literally just said "fuck it" to Day Court. "I think it's about time to address the reason for my visit."

"Yeah, why did you come here? Besides to nearly give Vinyl a heart attack?" I say dryly. Vinyl next to me is still breathing hard from the shock. It's obvious that she didn't expect Celestia to be here at all, but I bet it was worse because the princess called her by name.

"I came here for you, actually. Rainbow and I have something to give you," Celestia answers me. I blink once. Then twice. Then I shoot Rainbow a glare.

"Rainbow, I said not to get me anything!" I yell at her accusingly. Rainbow flinches, but she doesn't look surprised, like she knew I would yell at her. "What the fuck did you get me that you had fucking Celestia show up?"

"I know you said not to do anything, but..." Rainbow begins. She trails off and heaves a sigh. She looks at Vinyl, and then Celestia, who gives her an encouraging nod. "I'm going to be honest...and probably a little bit sappy, but I guess there's no way around that."

"I can't possibly understand the kind of stuff you've had to deal with since getting to Equestria. I know there was stuff you cherished back in your time that must have really hard leaving behind, but...and don't take this the wrong way...I'm really glad it was our time you ended up in," Rainbow continues, her voice shaking slightly, as if all of this was hard for her to say. I watch her with an unreadable expression, waiting for her to finish. I'll save my judgments until after she finishes speaking. "Since you've been here, I've really had a blast. Not many of my friends can handle me at my worst, like you have. Heck, you gave as good as you got."

"So what I'm trying to say is: thank you. Thank you for letting me be your friend," Rainbow finishes, and then she blushes in embarrassment.

"You're right, that was sappy as all hell," I can't help but remark, and Rainbow promptly tosses a wad of wrapping paper at my head. "Though...I will say that nobody's said anything like that to me, except for...well there was one other. So I do appreciate it, but what does all of that have to do with getting me a gift when I asked you not to?"

"I wanted to pay you back somehow for letting me let loose the past few days. So I had Vinyl run an analysis on your phone last night, while you were asleep," Rainbow admits, and my eyes widen.

"You what!?" I demand, growing angry. She went through my pockets and touched what is probably my single most precious possession?

"Rainbow gave me the results of the analysis, which I then gave to my top scientists," Celestia rejoins before Rainbow can answer. She lowers her head, her horn lighting up golden. A strange object forms in midair. "This is what we came up with. This is for you, Seth."

I'll try to describe it the best I can. At first I think it's a whip of some kind because of the thin cord tipped by a translucent lavender orb, but the cord is too small for that. I take the object curiously, still mad at Rainbow for going behind my back.

"So that's why you had me scan that odd thing," Vinyl says in awe as she look at the object. I ignore her, however, inspecting the device.

Are you...is that a...no fucking way. At the end of the cord that isn't attached to the orb, there's a very familiar protrusion, about a centimeter wide. I take out my phone from my pocket slowly, almost as if I'm in a daze. I open the flap on my otterbox on the bottom of the phone, where I usually plug in the cord to charge it. Then, I plug in the cord, which fits perfectly.

Celestia's horn lights up again, and the orb at the base of the cord starts to glow. The next thing that happens defies all explanation.

The screen on my phone lights up, and I hear that cool chime sound just as the battery symbol appears with a lightning bolt through it. "But...it's...it's charging," I say dumbly, unable to form a more articulate response. Celestia and Rainbow both smile at me warmly. Then there's Vinyl, who looks clueless. "My phone...is charging."

"Do you like your gift?" Celestia asks me. I just hold the phone, petrified. Is this happening right now? Did they really find a way to keep my most cherished of memories from disappearing forever? I let out a disbelieving gasp, not sure if I should be happy about this. I mean, this is wonderful...but...

"You made a device that converts magical energy to electricity?" I ask in a small voice, looking at Celestia.

"That's right."

"Do you know how much this probably costs!?" My voice starts to rise. This is amazing gift they've just given me...but the last time I was given something amazing, it was used to control me. This...looks to be the same exact thing. "I can't ever repay something like this! Electric devices costs millions of bits!"

"You already did repay it, Seth. I just got through explaining that," Rainbow protests, but I'm not having any of that.

"Bullshit! Yeah blah blah friendship, but money is money. And I don't doubt that there are tons of ponies that would kill for something like this!" I'm almost shouting now.

"Seth. You are wrong about that," Celestia informs me. I stop in the middle of getting ready to say something else and stare at her angrily. "This technology that I'm giving to you is worthless to anyone other than you."

"How do you figure!?"

"This converter was designed with your device in mind. As such, the created electricity cannot be used for anything other than charging your device," Celestia explains. "Nopony would buy that from you. It is a gift from Rainbow and me to you, not a means of controlling you."

Shit, I forgot little miss mind reader was here too. But...she does make a very good point, now that I think about it. This cord won't fit into any other device, which means the only thing it'll charge is my phone.

I want to believe that they're giving me a genuine gift. But that's hard for me to accept, after many long years of turning down stuff like this, because favors are a great way to get people in your debt.

"Take it, bro," Vinyl suddenly speaks up, having been quiet the whole time. "I don't have a clue what that thing is, but for Rainbow to go to Celestia to fix it, it must be really important to you."

"It is," I say softly, looking at the phone's battery slowly fill up from the magic that Celestia has put into it. I power it on, and soon the home screen pops up, where all my recent emails, text messages, voice mails, and pictures are stored. There's several years worth of memories stored here, that Rainbow and Celestia just gave back to me.

This...is either the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me since coming to Equestria. But I've given both Celestia and Rainbow chances already. I accepted Celestia's picnic dinner, yet she hasn't tried to get something out of me for it. I accepted Rainbow's ticket to the air show, and nothing's changed between us since then.

"I'm going to trust you," I say suddenly. Rainbow blinks, not believing her ears. "I'm going to trust both of you."

Rainbow's face slowly breaks out into a grin. Celestia's smile returns. However, I'm not finished talking. "If I see even the slightest hint of either of you using this against me..." I start to warn them, with a deadly serious tone.

"You won't. I promise. In fact, I'll take it a step further," Rainbow interrupts, walking up to me. She then proceeds to do one of the weirdest things ever. She crosses her heart with her hoof, and then pokes herself gently in the eye while saying, "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"What the hell was that?" I say with an utterly perplexed expression. That sounded a lot like a swear that human kids would say, only...not.

"It's a Pinkie Promise. Basically, it's one step higher than a normal promise. If you break it, Pinkie will come out and do something horrible to you. Trust me, it's terrifying," Rainbow explains with a baleful laugh. "The way she explains it, breaking a promise like this is the quickest way to lose a friend's trust..."

Suddenly, Rainbow is interrupted by Pinkie's head and neck emerging from Celestia's mane, with a frankly terrifying expression on her face. "Forreeeeevvvveeerr!" she finishes Rainbow's sentence for her, and then she sinks back into Celestia's mane like nothing had happened.

There's a dead silence while Rainbow, Vinyl, Celestia, and I stare at the spot where Pinkie had just been with wide eyes. A few seconds pass, and then we all start talking at once.

"What."

"Was that..." Vinyl starts.

"I don't..." Rainbow begins.

"The."

"How..." Celestia questions with a dumbfounded expression on her face.

"Fuck!?" I finish, suddenly questioning the laws of physics. There's another silence as all all try to make sense as to what we just saw. "Okay. I think it would be best if we just pretend that didn't just happen."

"Yeah," Vinyl agrees.

"That mare never ceases to amaze," Celestia comments, shaking her head in amusement. "Back on topic, I will also promise never to use this gift against you. I will prove that we are better you think."

"I see...then for what it's worth, thank you," I say gruffly, still trying to get over whatever the fuck I just saw. I set the phone and the cord into my pocket. "Now that all the gift giving is over with, what the hell do we do now?"

"Now? We attend the Hearth's Warming Day Pageant, of course," Celestia answers me as if it were obvious. "It starts in an hour. Which reminds me. Rainbow, don't you have someplace you need to be?"

Vinyl and I look at Rainbow, who looks confused at first. "What?" she asks cluelessly, and then it hits her, her eyes widening. "Oh shoot!"

Rainbow frantically opens the window and zooms away like a rocket, leaving me wondering what the hell just happened. Vinyl seems to know, seeing as she's chuckling. "Um, what?" I say, watching Rainbow disappear into the distance. "The hell?"

"I believe it would be best for you to find out for yourself," Celestia explains. So in other words, she's not telling me shit, as always. "Now then, I believe we should be going."

"Oh yeah. Don't wanna miss getting the good seats," Vinyl agrees. She looks over to me. "Come on, Seth. Let's get moving."

"Right, because apparently I'm going to this thing," I grumble. I still feel like I'm in a daze from Celestia and Rainbow's gift. It feels like my heart is in my throat, like how you usually feel when you do something that you think might backfire on you. I feel like I should crush this gift to pieces to keep anything from happening, but now that I have a chance to keep my memories of my family and friend forever, I can't bear the thought of losing that.

In a resigned fashion, I slip on my new shoes, sling my rifle over my shoulder, and then follow Vinyl and Celestia out of the room. It seems like a lot of ponies are leaving their rooms for this thing as well, so chatter fills the hallway.

Of course, their reactions are fucking priceless when they see Celestia walking down the hall as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Good morning, my little ponies," Celestia greets them as a shocked silence passes through the hall.

The hotel staff is similarly shocked when we enter the lobby. Celestia greets them in a similar manner as before, and then we leave the hotel behind.

There's a shit ton of ponies in the street this morning, compared to the other days. Some of them look too rustic to be from Canterlot. A quick glance at the train station shows me that a veritable swarm of ponies are emerging from it. Are they all coming to see the pageant?

"Seems like there's a good turnout this year," Vinyl comments, craning her head behind her to look as well. "Wonder when our buddies from Ponyville are gonna get here."

"Who all from Ponyville is coming here?" I ask with a sense of trepidation. Before any of them even say a word, I catch a glimpse of the dreaded mint green color departing from the train station. Just as Vinyl is opening her mount, I speed up. "Shit. Let's get moving. Quickly, before she..."

"Sethie!" Lyra squeals loud enough to be heard from the train station. Vinyl snickers at the look on my face.

"Oh for the love of all that's fuck, why is fate so goddamn cruel!" I lament as Lyra gallops across the street towards us, leaving her companion Bon Bon behind, looking none too happy.

When she reaches me, the first thing she does is fucking throw herself at me, wrapping her two front hooves around my chest before I can backpedal far enough away. "I missed you, Sethie!" Lyra coos, snuggling up to me, even as I try to get out of her hug.

"It's been four days, you overly attached mare! And quit calling me Sethie!" I complain, pushing on her head. "Get off me."

"No. It's cold and you're warm," Lyra says stubbornly, causing me to groan. Behind me, rather than helping me, Celestia and Vinyl seem to be very amused at my pain.

"Lyra, would you not go running off to..." Bon Bon finally catches up, panting. She cuts off the moment she sees me and Lyra, however, her exasperated look becoming a glare. "Hmph!"

"Oh look, it's Bon Bon. Have you been practicing your bitch lately? Because you're really at the top of your game today," I criticize her with a grin. This proceeds to piss her off royally, to the point where she tugs Lyra away from me and starts to leave us behind.

"You're just as intolerable as ever. Let's go, Lyra. We have better ponies to spend our time with," Bon Bon declares. Lyra whines as she's dragged away, but she manages to wave a few times to me before they both get lost in the crowd.

"That was very unkind of you, Seth," Celestia scolds me as we resume our walk to wherever this pageant is.

"Like I give a fuck. She's been a bitch ever since I met her," I reply uncaringly, giving shrug. "Now let's hurry before we run into any other ponies from Ponyville."

---

Celestia and Vinyl lead me all the way to the Grand Theater again, only this time we have to wait in line for tickets. And the line is massive. I even ask Celestia if she can use her status to get us past the line, but all she said was, "Now, Seth, I don't believe I have the right to cut all of these ponies in line, simply because of who I am."

Which is fucking bullshit, but every time I argue with her, she just reads my mind and shuts me down with logic I can't refute. So I don't even bother.

As soon as we buy our tickets for 4 bits each (leaving me with 156), we walk into the lobby, giving the tickets to the takers as we do so.

The moment we walk inside, I hear a very familiar and welcome voice sound out. "Mr. Seth!" sounds that young, twangy voice. Looking down, I see Apple Bloom pushing her way through the crowd and cantering towards me.

Smiling, I kneel down and catch her as she throws herself at me. Hah, it's been a while since I've seen her. With a happy giggle, Apple Bloom nuzzles my face, which I reciprocate. "Hey, Apple Bloom. I see you came to this whole thing too?"

"That's raht! Mah sister's gonna be here, so ah had to be. Sweetie Belle an' Scootaloo are here too!" Apple Bloom declares with a happy smile. I see. So everypony and their fucking mother is going to be here for this thing.

Behind me, Vinyl is looking at me with a dumbfounded expression. Right, she hasn't seen me with Apple Bloom before. Not that it's any of her business, anyway.

"Howdy, Princess Celestia!" Apple Bloom has noticed Celestia, it seems, and has greeted her in a very nonchalant manner. Fillies.

Celestia smiles warmly, craning her head down to nuzzle Apple Bloom. "Hey there, little Apple Bloom. I've heard a lot about you from Seth. It's good to see you again." As always, Celestia just takes whatever comes her way in stride. The only time I've ever seen her truly taken by surprise was when Pinkie randomly appeared, but then again even I don't fucking know what was up with that.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, the four of us enter the audience, though Celestia splits off from us, saying that she was going to meet her sister up in the VIP box, which we don't have tickets for.

Vinyl and I take a seat somewhere roughly in the middle of the audience so we can get a good view of the stage. There's a thick red curtain covering most of it, which I don't remember being there the last time I was here.

Apple Bloom chooses not to have a seat, and instead curls up in my lap like a cat. Sweetie Belle Scootaloo join us later, whispering greetings to us. Well, Sweetie Belle greets me, while Scootaloo greets her friends and Vinyl. When Sweetie sees what Apple Bloom is doing, she also hops up in my damn lap. Scootaloo sits the the chair next to Vinyl.

I look up at the curtain. Much to my amusement, a familiar wall-eyed mare sticks her head through the curtain and waves at the crowd, only to be pulled back inside a few seconds later. Huh, wonder what she's doing back stage.

Finally, the lights dim, and the chatter from the crowd dims down to almost nothing. I hear a quiet, "It's starting!" from Apple Bloom in my lap. Leaning back, I watch the curtain open to reveal the first scene of the pageant, which is of a blazing fire in a brick fireplace.

I actually recognize the first actor. Is that...Spike? What the hell is he wearing? "Once upon a time, before the peaceful rule of Celestia," Spike begins in a cultured manner, dressed in a blue noble outfit, "And before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony."

Okay, so he's the narrator. I find it odd that Spike of all creatures is in this. This is a Canterlot play, right? He's from Ponyville, and I was under the impression he isn't that important.

Moving on. Spike goes to introduce the three different races of ponies, saying that they were organized into tribes at that point. None of the actors or actresses are ones I recognize. Okay, if this is historically accurate, than I have a few questions for Celestia. I had thought she had always been in charge, since the humans reigned.

According to Spike, the ponies back then acted pretty much as all humans did. Like selfish fuckers. Though one thing confuses me. He says that the pegasi still controlled the weather, and the unicorns could still use magic. I thought all of that came around because of Discord, and he didn't come until Celestia was around. I am confused. The unicorns could raise and lower the sun and moon? That's bullshit. I don't even believe that Celestia and Luna can do that.

Whatever. I'll ask Celestia all of these questions later. For now, I'll just take in the tale for what it is.

Anyway, Spike goes on to describe a great blizzard that caused a famine, the set changing with every major scene, probably through magic. I half expected him to say that a war followed, but instead he says the three tribes tried to talk it out through a summit, where the leaders of all the tribes would meet. That's weird. Humans would have just blown the fuck out of each other.

"...the daughter of the Unicorn King, Platinum!" Spike announces, and to my surprise, friggin Rarity walks on stage, dressed in regal purple robes and a silver crown. She's acting in this too, as the unicorn leader? What the hell?

Oh, and I thought that was shocking. Imagine my shock when Spike announces the next leader. "Ruler of the pegasi, Commander Hurricane!" he declares, and out comes motherfucking Rainbow Dash, dressed in black and gold armor, adorned with a lightning bolt motif and a plume.

Okay, I have to laugh. Vinyl looks over at me with a knowing grin as I cover my mouth and chuckle. I had no idea Rainbow was going to be in this too. Holy shit she looks ridiculous. I cannot take that seriously at all. Then again, I'm watching a production performed by technicolor ponies. I don't think there was ever a danger of that.

"And lastly, the leader of the earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead," Spike finishes. I'm sorry what? What kind of fucking name is that?

While Rarity and Rainbow had been accompanied by trumpets, this one was heralded by giant multicolored party buzzer thingies for whatever reason, and then the Queen of What the Fuck herself, Pinkie Pie, bounces out on stage, accompanied by confetti. She's dressed in a particularly ridiculous outfit, with a hat that literally looks like a jar of pudding.

Suddenly I realize why the actresses are all ponies I know. Celestia probably asked them to do this, because they're the Elements of Harmony. You know, that magical superweapon bullshit that destroys enemies through the power of friendship. Those dumb things. So I'm probably going to see the rest of them here as well.

So the whole point of the summit is to talk things out, but hilariously enough, the moment the three of them open their mouths, they start arguing. I can't help but facepalm. Is this supposed to be a historical play? Or a historical comedy?

Basically all the tribes blame each other. Though...Pinkie's acting in this...is rather funny. Anyway, so nothing got done at this summit, and they all end up leaving. Then they proceed to show all of the leaders choosing to leave their initial land.

Interestingly enough, when they show Hurricane/Rainbow heading back to the pegasus land or whatever they're calling it, Fluttershy is there as well, dressed in armor that looks absolutely ridiculous on her. You'd think her acting would be good...but no, she's practically tripping all over the place.

Then they show what I assume is supposed to be the unicorn base, and there, Twilight is posing as Rarity's (I've already forgotten her character's name) assistant. Her character name is Clover the Clever...for some dumb reason. I really hope that's not the guy's actual historical name. Because that's a dumb pun.

Rarity's acting is impeccable. She plays the role of a stuck up princess very well. I'm actually rather impressed. Twilight...is literally just playing as herself under another name.

Pinkie is also playing herself under another name. They show the earth ponies next, and Applejack is there as well as her. Literally her first entrance into that scene is her falling out of a chimney. Which she proceeds to defend with the line and I quote, "Which means I can also think inside the chimney! Can you think inside of a chimney?"

Pinkie. What the fuck. Seriously, you don't make any kind of sense. I can't help but facepalm, chuckling slightly. This definitely feels like I'm watching a comedy. Applejack plays the perfect straight ..uh...mare in comparison to Pinkie's ridiculousness. Pinkie has some of the most ridiculous lines in this scene. "I am just about to be brilliant!" she proclaims, earning a shake of the head from me.

So I just heard Rainbow call Fluttershy by her character name. Private Pansy. That's funny as hell, considering her nature. I wonder if that was done on purpose. Poor Fluttershy. I'd be insulted if I were her.

Okay, that was funny. Rarity was acting like a drama queen, making me think that they've been walking for a while. Except then Twilight proceeds to tell her that they've only been moving for five minutes. I feel like every new scene is making me chuckle with their dumb bullshit.

Oh my god! Rarity is riding Twilight like...like the pony she is! That's just...oh my god Twilight's face is perfect. If only I had a cam...wait a minute. I do.

I take out my phone and open the camera app, taking a picture of that ridiculous scene after zooming in a little bit. I turn off the flash though, so I wouldn't disturb them.

I feel like Pinkie is making fun of herself. "How would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?" she says as if such an thing would mean the end of the world.

My reaction is equivalent to what Applejack actually says. "Heaven forbid that should happen." Brilliant.

So then what happens next is all the ponies find their new land and proceed to claim it with stupidly ridiculous names, only to find out that they've all come to the same place. So they immediately start bitching at one another until the blizzard comes there as well for whatever reason.

Well, it's obviously not a random blizzard then. That idea is compounded when I see some cool special effects where there's these demonic looking white horses galloping above the storm clouds. Maybe they're what's causing it.

Spike returns then, and starts lamenting the loss of that paradise they found by making a bunch of horrible snow puns. Like, a lot of snow puns. So many that a very annoyed pony shot up from the audience and yelled, "We get it, move on!" Which makes me laugh.

The leaders and their overlooked sidekicks take shelter in a cave...and immediately start fighting over a rock. I'm not kidding. They're fighting over a fucking rock.

Whatever they're doing pisses off the white demon horses or whatever, to the point where the entire cave freezes up, and even encases Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow in ice. So that leaves the sidekicks.

Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy band together there and uncover the real threat: some demons called Windigos (reminds me of those monsters with no heads from Final Fantasy VIII. Or that monster from Supernatural. Or...well, you get the point) that apparently feed off of hate and disharmony.

Some with some laughter and pink lasers, the evil Windigos are defeated, and the ice is dispelled from the land, freeing the leaders as well, who then realize the error of their ways and all start hugging it out.

Thus, banded together with harmony, the three tribes come together and call the land Equestria, just as the curtain falls and applause breaks out. I clap as well, because that wasn't all that bad. It was rather funny, to be honest. I'll ask Celestia about how that fits into the whole "Discord created magic" theory later.

The curtain opens a few moments later, with all of the actors and actresses that had been present in the performance standing in a line and holding hooves. They take a breath, and suddenly I get the feeling they're about to sing.

Yup. When they start singing, it's in the style of a carol, only it has nothing to do with Christmas, or Hearth's Warming, or whatever you'd typically find in a holiday carol. They're literally just singing about friendship.

The rest of the fucking audience joins in as well, to the point where it's all I can hear. This...is actually a rather nice song when I sit back, close my eyes, and listen to it.

As the song ends and the crowd erupts into applause once more, I do as well, a content smile on my face. That wasn't bad.

That wasn't bad at all.

---

Author's Note:

So...I bet you didn't expect a chapter of this length only two days after the last one? This tends to happen around the end of an arc, when inspiration is at its highest. Yes, Arc 3 is now over, though you may notice I didn't include a journal entry. It's not night time, nor is he anywhere near his journal, so I plan to include that little bit later, during the beginning of Arc 4. I could have extended it of course, but I had originally planned for Arc 3 to end right after the Hearth's Warming episode.

Now, I have a few things to note. First: I am not Seth. Seth is nothing like me, nor are his more radical opinions my own. That being said, his views on religion are his alone, and not mine.

Secondly, you may notice a slight discrepancy in continuity here. The episodes "Read it and Weep" and "The Last Roundup" occurred after "Hearth's Warming," so why is Rainbow happy to get a book, and she already knows about Pinkie Promises? Basically, for the sake of this story, I have moved the location of those two episodes to before Hearth's Warming. They are self contained episodes, anyway, and as such shouldn't have any impact on the canon.

Also, I was debating splitting this chapter into two, but I feel that wherever I'd cut off, it would seem weird. So I just made it one massive chapter to end off the arc. I wanted to get this chapter out now, because I have a final soon, and as such I won't have time to do any writing for a while. So this story will be taking a short break. SHORT, I promise! Like, maybe a week and a half break. Not a hiatus, I swear. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

Now, what is Arc 4? I'm afraid I'm not spoiling a thing, though already of you already know what Arc 4 is.

This is a long author's note. Anyway, please leave me a comment and tell me what you think of the Canterlot Arc!

Hearth's Warming, huh? I have to say, while it was far from being the best Christmas I've ever had, it certainly wasn't the worst. I still don't feel entirely sure that I'm not going to get fucked over for having this charger now, but I think the risk is worth being able to keep my memories. Plus, I'm not as helpless as I was back then. I will fucking annihilate anyone that tries to use me.

After the curtain falls for the last time, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hop off of my lap and reconvene with Scootaloo, sticking close to Vinyl and I as the hundreds of ponies in the theater start to filter their way out.

"That was totally sweet," Vinyl comments to me, waiting for the crowd to thin out slightly before trying to move. "Rainbow was brilliant. And did you see Pinkie? Hilarious!"

"It wasn't bad," I confess, my hands in my pockets. "Not sure if the singing was necessary though."

"This coming from the hardcore musician. You sure you're feeling all right?" Vinyl teases me, remembering my words from earlier.

"I didn't say it was bad. The theme of it was nice, but it didn't really seem relevant to Hearth's Warming at all," I point out.

"It didn't have to be. The moral of the story is that friendship will persevere in the face of hardship. The song just reflected that," Vinyl explains.

"You have a point," I admit. Just then, Vinyl sees an opportunity to get out of the aisle, so the five of us finally start to leave the theater. "Where to now?"

"Ah'm gonna meet ma sister!" Apple Bloom proclaims, even though I actually wasn't talking to her.

"Me too," Sweetie Belle tacks on. Scootaloo remains silent, though for the first time, she makes eye contact with me. She looks nervous about something, though what she has to be nervous about it beyond me.

"Stay with us, you three. I need to meet up with Rainbow anyway," Vinyl warns them as we exit the theater and enter the lobby. "Then we're gonna grab our stuff, check out of the hotel, and head on back to Ponyville."

"I see. I guess this trip is over then, huh?" I remark. I've only been in Canterlot for five days, but it feels like it's been longer. So much has happened between our arrival and now. From meeting Cadance, getting my shit wrecked by Celestia, eating with the Wonderbolts, playing music with Octavia, all the way to experiencing Hearth's Warming, I feel like I've lived more in the past week than I have in years. Though, that's unfair of me to say. I loved Amaryllis and my family, and I had some great times with them. Since I'm stuck here forever, I will miss them terribly.

"That's right. And we both came out of it richer than before. What's it like having money?" Vinyl responds with a grin.

"Like it'll disappear in half a second if I'm not careful," I answer wryly. 156 bits seems like a lot now, but if I keep spending it on rent and food, I'll run out unless I constantly work with Applejack on the farm.

Though that reminds me, I need to structure things for my future. I have a lot of things on my agenda, such as learning to read, learning how to control this magic, helping Cheerilee at the school, and working with Applejack. I feel I'll be very busy for the foreseeable future. I only hope I can find some time for myself.

"Sounds about right," Vinyl remarks with a nod. She changes course just before we leave the Grand Theater building entirely, taking us down a side passage. "Now then, the door to the backstage should be around here somewhere."

"Hey, look outside! It's snowing!" Sweetie Belle alerts us, pointing a tiny hoof at the windows as we pass by. I give the window a short glance, and sure enough, snowflakes are gently falling from the sky. Not that big of a deal though. It is winter after all.

"Guess the weather team was busy," Vinyl observes, looking somewhat sad. "I feel sorry for them; they didn't get to see the pageant."

"Maybe we could put on a pageant fer them?" Apple Bloom suggests. Sweetie Belle lights up at that idea.

"Yeah! Maybe we could get our cutie marks in performing pageants!" she agrees enthusiastically.

"How about no? I'm sure they'd much rather be at home than watching an impromptu play put on by fillies," I point out with a shake of my head. I don't see why these friggin butt tattoos are so important.

"Aww," the two fillies chorus. I notice Scootaloo is rather quiet. Whatever, it's none of my business what her problem is.

"Here we go. They should be out any minute," Vinyl informs us as we reach a door at the end of the hallway, very close to another exit from the theater. Some of the other actors and actresses are already leaving, but the ones I recognize aren't among them as of yet. "Ah, here they come."

Sure enough, here comes all seven of them. Twilight and Rarity are in the lead, though for some reason, the latter is still wearing most of her costume. By most, I mean all of it except for the crown. And judging by the way she's parading herself along, she's really proud of it. Pinkie and Applejack are right behind them, both laughing at something Pinkie said. Rainbow and Fluttershy bring up the rear with Spike.

"Oh! Seth!" Twilight is the first one to notice me, and she looks pleasantly surprised to see me, though why that's the case is beyond me. I'm still not very happy with her. "I didn't know you were watching us."

"Good to see you, Seth dear," Rarity greets me next. She looks up and down my attire with approval. "I see you're wearing the clothes I made for you. How do you like them?"

Instead of responding logically to either of them, the first thing I do is come up with some more dumb puns. "Wow, Rarity. That performance of yours seemed like a really rough ride," I joke, confusing her at first. Rainbow, however, gets what I mean almost immediately, and she promptly starts to snicker.

"Whatever are you talking about?" Rarity questions, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, poor Twilight out there seemed miserable. Perhaps you should get off her back and stop riding her so hard all the time," I continue, a dumb grin forming on my face. Suddenly the other ponies start to get it. Rainbow practically falls over, as she gets way too entertained by my dumb jokes. Applejack lets out a guffaw when she realizes what I'm talking about. Rarity puts on a face that clearly says, "really?" Twilight's response is to look at me as if trying to determine whether or not I'm being serious. Seconds later, she facehoofs.

"Ugh, that's what you chose to focus on?" Twilight complains. "What about my performance as Clover the Clever, personal student of Starswirl the Bearded himself? I personally believe that..."

"Twilight, shut the fuck up," I interrupt her rudely, and this time I'm not joking. She figures that out from my tone as well. She blinks and gets quiet, possibly wondering why I'm being so vicious only to her. I think I've written this already, but I'm still not over her being such a bitch to me that one night. Self pity. Fuck you. "Now then, I'm not really here to see any of you."

Practically all of the other ponies that I'd pretty much told they're not important to me give me shocked, offended, and saddened expressions, which I proceed to ignore, pushing through them until I reach Rainbow.

"You looked totally ridiculous out there, by the way," is the first thing I say to her. Rainbow blinks, and then she looks over at her friends. Then she looks back at me with disapproval. "What?"

"Seth, that wasn't nice at all. I know you don't like them all that much, but they're still my friends too," she scolds me.

"Oh, don't you get on to me. I was telling the truth. I didn't come here to see them, I came to see you," I return honestly. Unfortunately, my conversation is no longer private, because it seems like all the ponies here have formed into a circle. Vinyl is talking to Twilight about something, and Applejack is watching me carefully, as is Fluttershy.

"Seth, it's still Hearth's Warming, and most of them here got you gifts. Can you try and act a little grateful?" Rainbow insists. I look up at the other ponies around me. Rainbow is right, all the ponies here except for Fluttershy got me gifts, even though I didn't ask for/want them at all. Well, except for Rarity's gift. The shoes are amazing, especially now that my soles are no longer in danger of frostbite. And Applejack and Pinkie's made for a good meal. And...oh fuck it, Rainbow is right.

"Fine. Rarity." At my words, the unicorn in question looks at me expectantly. "I dunno why you're still making clothes for me, but thank you for the shoes. Mine were falling to pieces."

Rarity's mouth curves into a happy smile. "I did notice, dear. Plus, it can't have been pleasant walking around on the cold ground with only your bare skin. Races without hooves or talons tend to loose heat faster that way."

"That's...more logical than I expected. So can you answer my question? Why are you still making clothes for me?"

"Why? Oh, I do believe it should be obvious. You think I would be satisfied after making only a few pairs? Making clothing for a human is the opportunity of a lifetime that even the most well-known of fashion designers would simply die for!" Rarity explains to me as if I was committing a sin just by not understanding her motivations. Then she looks at me gratefully. "At least you're willing to entertain me. For instance, I believe Applejack would look marvelous in a few choice outfits, but..."

"That ain't happenin'. No way, no how," Applejack interrupts flatly, causing me to chuckle slightly.

"That's fine, I can't see Applejack in a dress anyway. Actually, now that I think about it, I couldn't see a goddamn pony in a dress a few weeks ago," I retort. Next, I turn to Applejack and Pinkie. "Breakfast was good, by the way."

"Hold up, ya ate them pastries for breakfast?" Applejack asks, nonplussed. "That was meant ta be dessert after tonaht's dinner!"

"Silly Applejack! Sugar is appropriate no matter the time of day!" Pinkie admonishes her friend with a bright smile while bouncing slightly in place. "Seth understands, right?"

"Damn right I do," I agree. My sweet tooth is pretty massive, though I don't really get a chance to indulge it all that often. My agreement causes Pinkie to look back at Applejack smugly.

"Ah guess. Ah'm glad ya enjoyed 'em, at least," Applejack says, putting the conversation back on track. Now then, who else gave me a present? Twilight did, but fuck her. Actually, I think I've addressed everypony who gave me something. Except for Apple Bloom, but I think I've cuddled her enough for one day.

With that, I mostly withdraw myself from the conversation. It seems like Vinyl and Rainbow are catching up with their friends, so there's not really much call for me to join in. Not like I want to, either. Pretty much, all eleven of us are chilling in this hallway, just near the door that leads backstage. I don't really care to listen in on their conversations, so I start to zone out.

"H...hey," a small voice says near me. I ignore it at first, because the odds of somepony talking to me right now are pretty slim. "Hey...um...Seth?"

I sigh and look down to see who's pestering me now. To my surprise, it's Scootaloo. She's looking up at me nervously, as if she's afraid I might attack her at any second. Huh, so she finally decided to approach me. This is going to be annoying, I can already tell.

"What do you want?" is my simple response. Scootaloo pauses and gulps before she tries to speak again.

"So...can we start over?" she asks at last after gathering her courage. I blink, wondering if I heard her right.

"Start what over?" I demand. Scootaloo sighs and takes a few moments to compose an explanation.

"Well..." she pauses and gestures between the two of us awkwardly. "Us. This. I mean...you and I..."

Wow, she's really bad at this. I'm already annoyed. I was perfectly okay with the fact that she hated me, so what's all this about anyway? Seriously, even though I've never really changed how I act, ponies keep changing their opinions about me, and I don't know why. It's not like I show them any redeeming features about myself. "Why? I thought you were totally okay with hating my guts," I point out, deciding to give voice to a portion of my thoughts.

"I was! You've been a real bully since I met you," Scootaloo explains. She gives me a frustrated expression. "I don't understand why all these ponies like you so much."

"You and me both," I interject dryly, crossing my arms. Out of my peripheral vision, I can see that Rainbow has broken off from her conversation with Fluttershy and is watching us carefully. So is Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle for that matter. It doesn't seem like Scootaloo has noticed them looking, though. "Though if you still hate me, then why are you trying to play nice?"

"Because...well, it's because my friends really like you, and they're not happy with the fact that I don't," Scootaloo reveals. Okay, what? So she's being pressured into this? "I still don't like you, but there has to be something about you that Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle like so much. Plus...you did save Rainbow's life."

"What I'm trying to say is, can we just start over? For my friends' sakes, I want to give you another chance," Scootaloo finishes, looking up at me hopefully. I return her gaze, though I don't say anything for a few moments. So if I'm understanding her right, she's depressed that a rift has formed between her and her friends because she doesn't like me. She's also confused because I'm an ass to everypony, yet I saved Rainbow's life and somehow have all these ponies liking me. So even though she still doesn't like me, she wants us to at least be civil for their sake.

That's...pretty selfless, really. I know I wouldn't try and make nice to somebody I hate just because a friend of mine happens to like them. Should I tell Scootaloo what she wants to hear? I mean, I don't care either way what she thinks of me. But on the other hand, she's never really done anything to me apart from dislike me. Eh, fuck it. Rainbow gave me a shot even though she hated me, and now she's my best friend in this ridiculous technicolor world.

"Fine, whatever," I reply uncaringly. Scootaloo heaves a sigh of relief. Behind her, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle smile happily at one another, and Rainbow also appears relieved. "Chances are, you're still gonna hate me though."

I don't think she heard that last bit. Instead, she went back and joined the other two fillies, who are now nuzzling her affectionately. Scootaloo looks so happy right now. It feels odd. I'm so used to pissing people off, yet since coming to this world, I seem to be making ponies happy, despite my best efforts.

"Right then. Seth, Rainbow?" Vinyl suddenly addresses us after finishing a conversation with Pinkie. Once she's certain she has our attention, she continues, "We should probably head back to the hotel. We gotta grab all of our stuff and then check out."

"Right, I don't want to leave all my presents behind!" Rainbow declares. She looks at the rest of her friends. "So when are the rest of you heading back to Ponyville?"

"I wanted to see Princess Celestia first, but right afterward, we're heading back to the train station." Twilight is the one who answers. "Are you coming back to Ponyville today as well?"

"Yup! I don't have any other reason to stay in Canterlot," Vinyl affirms. Then an idea hits here. "Say, why don't we meet up at the train station in a bit and head back together?"

"That sounds like a might fine idea ta me," Applejack agrees, looking around at the rest of her friends. Unfortunately, everypony seems to be in agreement on that idea. Which means I'll be stuck in a train compartment with all of these idiots.

"Definitely! I gotta tell you all the awesome stuff that went down here while you were still in Ponyville," Rainbow informs them. And that means I'll be stuck in a train compartment with all of these idiots without anypony worth talking to. Great.

After a few more pleasantries are exchanged, the group disperses. Vinyl, Rainbow, and I start moving back towards the hotel, while the others go their separate ways to take care of whatever else they want to do while they're still here.

I also spot Celestia coming out of the theater as well. I consider going over there to try and figure out where the events shown in the pageant fit into the timeline, but it looks like Twilight's already there with her. Fuck it, I don't want to deal with Twilight right now. I can always send a letter to Celestia later, once I learn how to fucking write.

"So why did you say I looked ridiculous during the pageant?" Rainbow suddenly asks, looking at me accusingly. Oh good, I get to make fun of Rainbow. This will make me feel less annoyed.

"Because of that armor. Ponies wearing armor. It's just...you looked funny as hell," I explain to her. "Not to mention it's you."

"What's that supposed to mean? I look totally awesome in that armor!" Rainbow protests. Our dumb bullshit gets Vinyl's attention, so she starts watching us with a smirk. "I bet you're just jealous."

"Of what!? The fact that you were wearing shitty armor and I wasn't?"

"Who wouldn't be? I mean, not everypony can look as awesome as I can," Rainbow proceeds to boast, pressing her hoof to her chest. Great, and she's bragging again. I reach over and pinch the skin right between her ear and her head. "Ow! What the hay was that for?"

"You're bragging again. I'm just trying to deflate your head a bit," I reply as if it should have been obvious. Instead of a response, I feel a sharp pain just behind me ear. I look at the now hovering Rainbow with an incredulous expression. "Really?"

"Turnabout's fair play, Seth!" Rainbow teases me, waggling her hoof in my face. My response is to blow into her face, which causes her to recoil and blink in confusion. "What the...you are so weird!"

"I dunno, I couldn't think of a better response. So there," I remark. Behind us, Vinyl is snickering into her hoof.

"Would you two just kiss and get it over with already?" she teases us. Rainbow and I both freeze and turn around, fixing Vinyl with a death glare. Vinyl looks between the two of us with a smirk that quickly turns to panic and Rainbow and I descend upon her together, pinching the shit out of her. "Ah! Ow, stoppit! Come on, that's not playing fair!"

---

Our dumb bullshit aside, the three of us eventually (eventually being the key word) make our way back to the hotel and gather all of our stuff up, and then check out. So now, there's nothing left for us to do except return to the train station and head back to Ponyville. Finally. This trip has been fun as hell (Especially that concert, holy shit), but I'm ready to go back. It's much calmer in Ponyville, even if I can't go two feet without running into somepony I know. Like Lyra. Sheesh.

"I think we're the first one's here," Vinyl observes when we near the train station. I look around as well, but there's no sign of the other Ponyville residents. I do see Lyra and Bon Bon though, but fortunately, they walk onto the train before they have a chance to notice us. I hope to god they don't have the same compartment as us. I'd never get away from Lyra's clingy bullshit then.

"Twilight, late? Surely this is a miracle," Rainbow comments.

"Obviously she's not late, Rainbow. She's never late," Vinyl corrects her. "The world would end if Twilight is ever late to anything. Chances are we're just early."

I don't really feel the need to join that conversation, so I instead continue to observe the platform. The train isn't leaving for another ten or twenty minutes, according to our tickets, so as long as we're waiting anyway, I might as well do something.

I notice after a few minutes that something is wrong. I feel like I'm being watched. I mean, besides the typical "oh look, it's a human let's all stare at it" feeling. A few moments of searching later, I spot the source of the feeling.

There's a creamy white unicorn mare sitting on her haunches just on the edge of the platform, staring right at me with rose pink eyes. She holds herself like she believes she's somepony important. This image is accentuated by her short rose colored mane that barely hangs down past her neck. It only hangs down one side of her face, and the fringe of her mane is cut in such a way that it forms an even line. The last and most disturbing thing I notice about her is that her horn is filed to a lethal point. There's a single suitcase resting on the platform next to her.

"Uhm, so what's that mare's deal?" I say, interrupting Vinyl and Rainbow's dumb conversation about what would happen if Twilight was ever late.

"What mare?" Rainbow asks. As they both watch, I discretely indicate the unicorn who is still watching me. "Oh. Wow, she looks serious. Did you do something to make her mad?"

"Not that I know of."

"Maybe she's checking you out, bro," Vinyl ribs me with a nudge.

"Not fucking likely," I scoff. Besides, there's no way that's an "I want you" stare. Looks too serious to be something like that.

"Maybe you should go up and ask her?" Rainbow suggests.

"No fucking way. I think I'm just going to ignore her," I say, feeling wary of that unicorn for some reason. "Let's just get on the train."

"What about Pinks and the rest of them?" Vinyl reminds me.

"You already said they're not going to be late as long as Twilight's with them. They'll find us," I assure her. Seriously, I just want to be inside the train and away from this bitch's stare.

"I dunno, I don't want to just ditch them," Rainbow says uncertainly.

"You're not ditching them! We're just changing the meeting spot to inside the train, instead of outside on the platform where a crazy pink haired bitch is staring at me with either the intent to rape or brutally murder me," I express to her frantically.

"Okay, you're overreacting," Vinyl says, bopping me on the nose with her hoof. "Seriously, go ask her what's wrong."

"No. I'm going on the train now. Follow me or don't," I assert. I start to move towards the train, making sure to walk through the most crowded areas in an attempt to lose her gaze. I hear a sigh and a huff from behind me, and then the sound of Rainbow and Vinyl following me.

I notice I have to pass the mare to get onto the train. Oh well. It'll only be for a second before I'm actually on the train. Just as I get close to her, her head snaps to me and she at last addresses me. "Seth Rogers?" And she addressed me by name as well.

"Who the fuck are you?" I immediately demand, stepping aside so I'm not standing in the way of all the other ponies trying to get on the train.

I watch, perplexed, as the unicorn does a salute with her hoof. "My name is Pale Rose, Commander of the Royal Canterlot Unicorn Second Regiment. It is a pleasure to meet you," she introduces herself in a very official manner. And her identity causes me to realize how stupid I was being. Vinyl was right, I was overreacting. Though if I remember correctly, Commander is beneath Captain in rank. So she's not like Spitfire or Shining Armor.

"Okay, Pale Rose, why were you staring at me like that?" I decide to go ahead and ask, because even if I was overreacting, that stare was still creepy as fuck.

"I was waiting for you to finish your conversations and approach me. I have much to speak with you about," Pale Rose informs me. Behind me, Vinyl and Rainbow are approaching curiously. "By the way, I would prefer you call me Rose. As we will be spending a lot of time together, it would be pointless to stand on ceremony."

"You certainly like to talk a lot, don't you?" I note wryly. For all her talk about not standing on ceremony, her words are as stiff as all hell. "Besides, what the hell are you even talking about?"

"I have been ordered by Princess Celestia to accompany you back to Ponyville, in order to..."

"Can you just fucking talk like a normal pony?" I interrupt her, fed up with all of her fancy talk. Rose stops in the middle of talking and gives me an annoyed glare.

"As you wish. The princess wants me to help you learn how to fully use your magic," Rose rephrases, looking none to happy.

"How hard was that?" I patronize her. She doesn't dignify that with an answer. "So, you're the one Celestia mentioned. You're not even a captain though. How does she expect you to stand up to me?"

"Do you believe that we will be fighting?" Rose asks me curiously. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"It's combat magic. There's no real way to get better except through practical use. Logs won't suffice forever," I reason, remembering my training with Shining Armor. He had me punching logs like a motherfucking Minecraft player.

"A fair point. But if you don't mind, I'd prefer we save the rest of this conversation for when Twilight Sparkle arrives. She will be an integral part of your training." Rose's words cause me to rub my forehead in irritation.

"Fucking...really!? I thought the whole point of you coming along was so I wouldn't have to put up with Twilight trying to teach me!" I protest vehemently. Rose shakes her head, but otherwise doesn't comment. Instead, she looks up at Rainbow and Vinyl.

"My apologies for ignoring the both of you. It is a pleasure to meet you, miss Rainbow Dash," Rose addresses Rainbow first, who preens at the attention.

"Yeah, check it out, Seth! Even the military knows who I am!" Rainbow once again decides to brag. "Oh...and yeah, nice to meet you too, Rose."

"I'm afraid I'm not acquainted with you, miss...?" Rose turns to Vinyl next. Huh, makes sense she wouldn't know Vinyl. I'm the only human alive, and Rainbow is an Element of Harmony. And then there's Vinyl.

"Vinyl Scratch. I'm a DJ from Ponyville. Sorry I'm not as important as my bros here," Vinyl replies dryly, but once again, Rose lets it flow over her head. Nothing seems to phase her, even my vulgarity.

"No need to apologize," Rose begins, but then she cuts off when she spots something behind me. "Oh. It seems the others have arrived."

Great. Sure enough, Twilight and the rest of them are behind us. They soon catch sight of us, and move to join us. "Hey y'all!" Applejack is the first to call to us. Apple Bloom is on her back, waving at me happily. Sweetie Belle is sitting on Rarity's back, and Spike and Scootaloo are bringing up the rear.

"I guess we're all here now," Rarity observes, as the other ponies greet one another. "Shall we get going? I have many more ideas I would like to act upon."

"An excellent idea. It would be best to get situated now, so we may begin," Rose interjects. And , since nopony that just arrived has any idea who she is, they all look at her oddly.

"Pardon, but do ah know you?" Applejack is the first to call her out on that. Rose shakes her head.

"No, this is our first meeting, though I have heard a lot about you, Applejack," she replies, serving to confuse the farm pony even more. "Allow me to introduce myself once more. I am Pale Rose, Commander of the Royal Canterlot Unicorn Second Regiment."

"Oh! So you serve underneath Captain Blades?" Twilight appears to recognize her slightly now. Suddenly, Twilight's eyes widen. "Wait...that makes you the Blossom Wind!"

The what? Does that mean she's like, super important? She's not a captain, so what's the big deal about her?

"Indeed, but I did not come here to discuss myself. Shall we board the train? I would prefer to discuss my orders one we are all situated," Rose affirms.

"That's a good idea. Come on, everyone!" Twilight urges us, even changing her pronoun to reflect that fact that I'm here as well. Thanks for that at least.

After passing our tickets to the conductor, all of us seat ourselves in a train compartment that's completely devoid of any other ponies except our group and me. That's good. That means I won't have to deal with Lyra or any other ponies that may recognize me. I'm already uncomfortable being in a group this size. The three fillies, along with Spike, are seated elsewhere in the compartment, where they start talking animatedly about something or another. I don't really care.

Before our conversation can even start, Pinkie happens. Like, I don't know why I was expecting for her not to happen. So she practically gets into Rose's face and starts bouncing in place. "Ohmigosh! It's been so long since the last time I threw a welcome party! Like, a whole week! It's a tragedy! But now you're coming back with us! Oh, I have just the greatest idea for a party..."

Rose's face is the most perfect WTF face I've ever seen right now. I feel like she's heard of Pinkie, but has never actually met her. "That will not be neces..." Rose begins.

"We'll get cherry blossoms to decorate the walls! That'll look so good with your mane...oh, I bet you like cherry flavor too! I can make the most fantastic cherry flavored cake you've ever tasted; I promise it will just melt in your mouth!"

"Look, I don't want..." Rose tries again.

"Of course it won't be just cake, silly! This is going to be so much fun! I'll invite the whole town, and we'll help you make lots of friends, and..."

"Pinkie!" I suddenly cut across her my hand rubbing my head in an attempt to stave off the growing headache brought on by her overly high pitched voice. Unlike Rose, my voice actually gets Pinkie to stop talking and look at me sheepishly. "Seriously, shut up. I've only seen you for a few fucking seconds and you're already spouting off."

"Sorry! But I have to make Rose feel welcome, and what better way to help her feel welcome than by a Ponyville Welcome Party!?" Pinkie's excitement has not dampened in the slightest, despite my harsh words.

"That sounds like it would be a blast! Vinyl, your gigs are pretty sweet, but they're no Pinkie Party." Rainbow proceeds to jump onto the Pinkie bandwagon, much to Rose's dismay.

"No offense taken. If there's a chance for a Pinkie Party, you bet your flank I'll be there." Vinyl also agrees with Pinkie.

"I think it's a good idea as well. After all the rehearsing we had to do for the pageant, I'm ready to blow off some steam," Twilight expresses.

"We gonna have a right proper hoe-down. Yeehaw!" I think Applejack agrees too. But I could be wrong. Snrk.

"Is...is there no way out of this, Seth?" Rose asks pleadingly, turning to me to save her. I give her a deadpan stare in response.

"There's not. Trust me, I tried to get out of a welcome party myself. Then stuff happened, lots of yelling and slammed doors, and then crying, and...trust me, just accept, or the universe itself will ensure that you get a welcome party," I admit to her. That's not exactly how it went down, but it's close enough.

"I see. I suppose I will just have to endure," Rose laments, rubbing her forehead with a hoof.

A few moments later, the doors to the train shut and the horn blows. At last, the train starts to move, and we're on our way back to Ponyville once more.

"Now then. Now is the best time to explain exactly why I'm traveling to Ponyville with you," Rose says, getting serious. This grabs all of our attention, such that every set of eyes in the compartment is trained upon her. "Officially, I've been ordered by Princess Celestia in order to fully instruct Seth in the use of his magic."

"Oh! So you've decided to study it after all?" Twilight is wearing a giant fucking smile at that, to the point where I have to resist the urge to facepalm. When I give her a nod, that smile grows even wider. "That's wonderful! Oh, I know you'll enjoy learning it just as much as I did."

"In fact, miss Sparkle, you'll have the opportunity to see for yourself," Rose informs her. Twilight blinks and looks at her curiously. "You and I will be working in tandem to help Seth fully realize his magical potential."

If Twilight's smile gets any wider, I feel like it's going it come off of her face like in those overly ridiculous animes. "Really? Princess Celestia is trusting me with this task?" Twilight exclaims happily. She beams at me eagerly. "We're going to have so much fun studying together!"

"Kill me now," I groan, but even that doesn't put a damper on Twilight's enthusiasm.

"The princess wants you to instruct Seth in basic magical theory and control," Rose continues, addressing Twilight. Oh boy, I'm going to magic college. The more things change, the more things stay the same. "I will be in charge of helping him develop his individual techniques, as well as how to function during a battle."

"You're taking this too seriously. This land is peaceful as all hell, so why would I need to be battle ready?" I say suspiciously. Rose is acting like she expects me to join her unit or something by the end of this.

"I take every assignment seriously, especially this one, as Princess Celestia gave it to me herself. I must prove myself worthy of her trust," Rose proclaims proudly. "But, as you said before, you possess a combat magic. You cannot be said to truly control it unless you can use it to its fullest potential. Plus, if Equestria ever needs your power, we want you to know basic battle tactics."

"Okay, no. You say that like you expect me to feel obligated to protect this country. I'm human, not Equestrian, so it's none of my business if you guys get fucked up or not," I warn her. Seriously, this is sounding more and more like I'm being drafted, and I don't like it one bit. Even though I'm slightly lying. If Rainbow or Apple Bloom was put in direct danger, I would definitely step up to protect them. And also...if I knew some battle tactics, I would feel like a badass. Still, I won't be at Celestia's beck and call.

Rose stares at me for a long time. "Perhaps. But that is a topic for another time," she replies wisely. Then she turns to Rainbow and Applejack. "You two are known for being the most physically fit of the Elements. I expect you to work Seth hard, as this particular form of magic responds better to one with better control over his body."

"That settles it! Seth, you're coming with me on my morning runs! Five laps around Ponyville, full sprint!" Rainbow declares happily, pumping a hoof into the air. I am liking this idea less and less. What was supposed to be a leisurely rest in Ponyville is now turning into a massive ordeal.

"Ah always work 'im hard. He don't do much complainin', neither," Applejack adds. Rose nods, satisfied. Bitch, I totally complain. Just not to you. Or to anypony. I...write my complaints super hard in my journal. So there.

"Lastly, miss Sparkle, I would like you to be in charge of scheduling all of this, as Seth no doubt has other things to do besides this," Rose finishes.

"Yeah, like learning to fucking read," I remark, even as Twilight brightens up. She suddenly levitates a roll of paper and a quill from seemingly nowhere and looks at me with that same smile.

"I would love to do that. Seth, can you tell me everything you have planned for your return to Ponyville?" she addresses me, writing something down on the paper. I heave a sigh, resigning myself to a heavy structured schedule in the near future.

This magic is going to prove to be a real bitch to learn, isn't it?

---

Author's Note:

Okay! As I promised, another chapter before the end of the month. For those of you who don't know, I am leaving for Bronycon late tomorrow with a group of friends, which is going to be a total blast. Understandably, I will not be doing any writing for the next three days. So I wanted to get this one out before I left.

So, Scootaloo makes her return! Honestly I've been avoiding that scene for a while since I'm not sure I can get her personality right, but I think I managed somewhat well. Oh well, this is a rough draft. Still plenty of room for fuck ups here and there.

Now then, Pale Rose is an OC, as is Captain Blades. As most of the military make up in this story is my own idea, so are the other captains and ranks. Rose, in the foreseeable future, will have a pretty decent role, so expect to be seeing more of her.

Anyway, I'm off! I'll see you all after Bronycon!

"All right! I think that about covers everything!" Twilight announces, holding up the checklist that she's been working on for the past hour of travel. The once blank parchment is now filled from margin to margin with neatly organized characters and boxes that probably makes more sense to everypony here but me. Twilight then remembers that I can't read. "Shall I dictate your schedule to you?"

"Go ahead. It's not like I have a choice in the matter," I say grumpily, resting my head on the back of the seat and staring up at the ceiling. An occasional bump will cause me to shift slightly, but other than that, I don't move at all.

Basically, I've been telling Twilight what I have on my agenda for when I return to Ponyville, while she's been attempting to draft me up a schedule. Honestly I'd planned to put one together myself, but every time I try to tell her this, she always looks at Rose, who then tells me that it would be the most efficient for Twilight to do it (albeit through considerably more flowery language. Heh. Flowery).

I mean, Rose is right, because I've seen how organized Twilight can be. My issue is that I'm currently pissed at Twilight, as I have been for days, ever since that time outside the bar. Yeah, we pranked her, but that doesn't mean I just forgot. So I don't want her fucking help. But, as I said already, Twilight and Rose haven't really given me a choice in the matter.

I still don't see why they're taking it so seriously. This country seems pretty peaceful. I've never even heard the word "war" more than a few times. So why the hell do I need to be battle ready? Just teach me how to keep from going insane, and I'll be fine.

Twilight looks distinctly uncomfortable with my listless and sulky words, but with an impatient look from Rose, she clears her throat and begins. "We should be home soon with plenty of time in the day, so I'll start with today's schedule."

"Great...I don't even get to rest..." I groan.

"Don't worry, I took that into account. You don't have to do anything overly stressful tonight," Twilight responds, looking at me with what I assume she thinks is a reassuring smile. Which it isn't. I still kinda want to punch her in the face. "First, upon our arrival, you'll come with me to my library for an introduction to magical theory."

"Sounds like a fucking blast," I comment sarcastically. As with my last two comments, I'm ignored after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Magical theory. Really? This will probably be like science 1101 all over again, only with magic instead, where none of the rules I remember matter anymore. At least there won't be any tests that can ruin your life if you fail.

"Then, starting tomorrow, we'll have an alternating schedule, so we can fit everything you need to do over the period of two days," Twilight explains, tapping the checklist with the back of her quill. "Tomorrow morning at eight, you'll be running with Rainbow Dash for an hour."

"Aw yeah! We're gonna have a blast!" Rainbow interjects excitedly, nudging me. Hooray, I get to exhaust myself like crazy every morning. At least it'll be with Rainbow, I suppose. Ugh.

"Next, you'll head to the schoolhouse and help miss Cheerilee with the students," Twilight continues, her quill moving down the page with every event she announces. You know, even though I made that arrangement with Cheerilee on my own, the fact that Twilight is telling me to do it makes it seem like less of a good idea. But I still have to do it. As much as I want to spite her, I do need to learn to read. "Since you'll already be there, you can study with her after school ends."

"After that, Rose will meet you on the outskirts of town, between Sweet Apple Acres and the Everfree Forest," Twilight continues. That part interests me somewhat.

"What? Why so far away from town?" I ask curiously, sitting up again. This time, it's Rose that answers.

"Due to the fact that your abilities are as of yet, wholly untested and unrefined, it would be best to perform training in an area away from civilization. That way, there is no risk of damage to the town or its residents," Rose informs me, speaking in overly flowery language once again. That mannerism of hers is starting to get on my nerves. She speaks like a damn English professor.

"You're gonna teach him how to fly, right?" Rainbow interrupts, staring at Rose with an eager expression. Oh right, she wants to fly with me at some point.

"If it is within his capabilities, then I shall. I endeavor to unlock every aspect of his potential," Rose confirms, looking at me with interest. "Seth, do you believe you possess the capabilities of flight?"

"Hell if I know. I remember being in the air with Celestia at one point, but I can't remember how I did it," I admit. I left out the fact that I fought her, since the only pony I've told that story is Rainbow, and I plan to keep it that way.

"That's very interesting. Perhaps it's an ability unique to humans?" Twilight hypothesizes. "After all, normal unicorns cannot use their magic to levitate themselves, since attempting to do so would create a magical amplification loop that would in turn..."

"Unicorns can't fly. I get the fucking point. Shut up," I cut across her, not really in the mood for a lecture. Twilight shuts her mouth with a snap, and then she sighs through her nose, irritated.

"But Seth, you're going to need to know about magical amplification loops! They're extremely dangerous part of magic use that can severely harm you!" she complains with a huff. Oh. Well shit.

"Whatever. They're not exactly important right now, are they?" I point out, even though she has a point. Whatever those loop things are, I'll learn about them later, especially if they pose a danger to me.

"Perhaps not," Twilight admits, though she still looks dissatisfied. She brings the checklist back up again. "Shall we move on then? After your training with Rose, you'll have several hours to yourself."

"Holy shit, really?" I ask, genuinely surprised. "I get time to myself?"

"Of course! Not everyone can work all day without any time to rest," Twilight reassures me, her smile returning.

We suddenly hear the sound of Spike clearing his throat from across the train. Once we're all looking at him, he asks, "Um, Twilight? Can I get that in writing?"

I can't help but chuckle a bit at Twilight's face at that comment. "What are you talking about?" Twilight demands. "I always give you plenty of time to rest between chores."

Spike facepalms. "I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you. Remember that time you stayed up all night because of a test you aced without even trying?" he clarifies, a grin on his face.

"But...that was...it..." Twilight stammers, but then she dips her head with a blush when she realizes that Spike is right. Following that is a chorus of snickers and giggles from me and the rest of her friends. "It was a very important test..."

"Even though you could have just not taken it and still gotten the top score in the class?" Spike presses, looking even more smug. Twilight dips her head down further.

"He's got you, Twilight. But seriously, I get the nights to myself?"" I let her know with a grin. Twilight nods, much to my delight. "Halle-fucking-lujah. For once, I get some me time."

"The next day, you'll work on the farm with Applejack, starting at eight again. Afterward you'll come to my library for more studying. Then the rest of the evening is yours. How does all of this sound?" Twilight finally finishes, setting the checklist down.

"Work only every other day? How the hell am I going to pay for rent? The bits I have won't last forever, you know," I point out. Vinyl sighs next to me.

"Aw, we're still on the whole rent thing? I was hoping you'd trust me enough to not do that anymore after this trip," Vinyl complains. I look at her strangely.

"Why the hell would you think that?" I snap, causing her to wince. "I'm only living with you because you're taking my money in exchange. If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll just go sleep outside again."

"That's not happening," Rainbow is the one who responds, for some reason. She looks at me with a stern and determined expression. "You're not sleeping outside. You'll freeze to death, especially with the the storm I have to whip in a few days."

"Then we have to find a way for me to make enough money to keep paying for rent," I say flatly. There's a silence after that as the ponies around me attempt to find a solution.

"You can always live with me for free, since we're awesome pals and all," Rainbow suggests, half jokingly. I turn my head very slowly to look at her.

"You live on a cloud." I deadpan. Rainbow chuckles nervously and scuffs the floor a bit. "In the sky. How dumb would I look having to get carried up by you, only to fall to my death because I can't fucking walk on clouds!?"

"How about if I lower the rent to maybe four bits?" Vinyl suggests after she finishes laughing at Rainbow's expense. When I look back at her, she continues. "I mean, I don't really need your money. I make plenty enough to live on from gigs and commissions.

"Ah could always pay ya more," Applejack tacks on as well. Of course, none of those suggestions interests me at all.

"No, no, and no. I won't accept a suddenly decreased rent, and I certainly won't accept more pay for the same amount of work," I counter, further frustrating the ponies taking part in the argument.

"Um..." a quiet voice suddenly enters the conversation. We almost don't notice it at first, since Vinyl and Applejack start trying to convince me further, but once a timid yellow hoof presses against my leg, we stop. I look down to see Fluttershy of all ponies gazing at me from behind her mane. "I have a suggestion...if you want to hear it, I mean."

"Oh boy, you're going to talk for once? This should be good," I state. I mean, this pony has never had anything useful to say before, so I doubt that's suddenly going to change. Fluttershy gulps at my words, shrinking back slightly.

"Oh...I mean, it's probably not a good idea anyway," Fluttershy retracts, much to my annoyance.

"Nah, Fluttershy, go ahead. It ain't like we're makin' any headway here anyway," Applejack reassures her. Vinyl nods in agreement.

"Okay," Fluttershy emits weakly. She takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I just thought that when you're on your way to training with miss Rose, you could pick up a few things for me. If you want to, that is."

"What, like run errands and shit? Can you even afford to pay me for that?" I question her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I work with animals...I make some money through that," Fluttershy murmurs. That didn't tell me anything. How does she make money with that?

"Now darling, you really must be more descriptive than that," Rarity rejoins. "Seth likes to know all of the details before committing to something, if I'm not mistaken."

"That's right," I agree. At least Rarity knows what I'm looking for.

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy apologizes. Oh great, she's one of those. I get really sick of people that overly apologize.

"It's no trouble. I'll explain," Rarity assures her, turning back to me. "Fluttershy is incredibly talented when it comes to dealing with animals, whether she's communicating with them, or taking care of them. Everypony in Ponyville knows that, so Fluttershy makes a living off of helping others take care of their pets."

"What, like selling food and vaccinating them and shit?" I press. Fluttershy doesn't really seem like she does anything, but I suppose she has a house for a reason.

"Yes," Fluttershy answers timidly. "But sometimes, I need supplies from the town. I can pay you to bring them to me."

"So more heavy lifting?" I deadpan, not amused. It's a solution, sure, but I can already tell I'm not going to like it. With all the physical stuff I'm being told to do, I'll be damned if I don't have a six pack by the end of the month. It's going to suck...but the idea of having a six pack rather appeals to me.

"Oh, you don't have to if you'd rather not," Fluttershy retracts, looking down at the floor. I sigh in irritation. Stop being so fucking insecure and say what you mean.

"I don't care what you have me do. Just how much are you going to pay me?" That's the most important question.

"Um...how does five bits a trip sound?" Fluttershy supplies. Hm...so five bits one day, ten bits the next. Then rinse and repeat. So I'll go down by one bit the first day, and go up by four the next. That's three bits net gain per two days. It's not as fast as I was earning money before, but I do have a lot of bits right now. Who knows? Maybe I'll earn enough money to buy a house by the end of this.

"That's a three bit gain per day, give or take Vinyl's gigs," I say, voicing my calculations aloud. All of the ponies sitting near me are looking at me expectantly. "That'll work. I'm okay with this schedule."

"Excellent! Then I'll work your errands with Fluttershy into the schedule, right after your lessons with Cheerilee." Twilight rejoins the conversation, scribbling down the new information on the checklist. "I think that takes care of everything!"

"Great, now all that's left for us to do is wait," I say with a grunt, letting my posture slump onto the back of the seat again. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me before I get back, and I'll murder you."

Once I hear acknowledgment from the rest of them, I lean my head back and close my eyes.

---

I wake up when the train starts to slow down. The first thing I do is look out the window, where I can see the buildings of Ponyville. At last I'm back in this town, where the populace are slightly less irritating than Canterlot. But only slightly. But...I guess it is technically home for me now. Not like I can ever go back.

Around me are the other ponies. Twilight is reading a book (no surprise there), and so is Rainbow. Must be that new book she was given. Vinyl is also reading her new book. Applejack is looking at me with a warm smile, which is fucking weird, especially since she's more specifically looking at my lap.

That realization makes me aware of a weight on my lap that was not there before. I look down, and I almost have a heart attack. And not from shock. Apple Bloom is curled up on my lap, sleeping peacefully. I think I've said this before...but this filly needs to be weaponized. "What the hell are you doing there?" I whisper, rubbing my forehead.

"She hopped up on ya not longer after ya fell asleep," Applejack reveals obligingly, as she'd heard me.

"Goddammit, Apple Bloom," I murmur, but I'm not all that annoyed.

---

After the train comes to a full stop, all of us go our separate ways. Applejack returns to her farm, after I drape the still sleeping Apple Bloom over her back. Fluttershy gives me a list of the things she needs delivered to her over the next week before she left for her home. Before Vinyl leaves, I pass all of the gifts I got to her, so she can take it back to her place for me. That way I can go straight to Twilight's without lugging a bunch of shit around. I'm still taking my rifle though.

"I'm headed off too. I'll catch you later, sometime when Twilight's not spouting words at you," Rainbow informs me with a wave of her hoof, and then she too zooms away, leaving an indignant Twilight behind.

"I do not spout words," she pouts while Rarity and Sweetie Belle also take their leave. Scootaloo leaves as well, which just leaves Twilight, Rose, Spike, and I. Now that it's just us, Twilight gazes at me expectantly. "Shall we go to the library?"

"Yes please! I'm hungry," Spike answers before I can, patting his rumbling stomach with a claw. Twilight giggles at that.

"Whatever, let's hurry and get going. I'm rather looking forward to having tonight for myself," I interrupt, placing my hands in my pockets.

Rose looks between the three of us. "In that case, I will take my leave of you. I have much to do before our training tomorrow," she declares, her horn starting to glow pink. Without another word, she vanishes in a burst of pink light, leaving a smattering of cherry blossoms behind.

"Wow, that was trippy. The hell did she just do?" I comment, grasping one of the petals left behind by the magic. Twilight seems almost too happy to answer.

"Magical teleportation! It's an ability inherent to all unicorns or alicorns, though the cherry blossoms is her own personal touch," Twilight explains, demonstrating by teleporting a few feet away. "I'd love to tell you all about it. But first, let's go to my library."

"Teleporting unicorns. Sheesh. All right, whatever. Let's get moving," I respond with a shake of my head.

---

I walk through the door to Twilight's library in a sullen silence. Twilight seems to have picked up on it as well, as she is wearing an uncomfortable expression. The silence between us is awkward, because none of us are willing to broach the subject that we both know is the issue.

"Spike, could you make us some tea, please?" Twilight requests of her assistant.

"You got it," the dragon replies, leaving Twilight and I alone in the front room. After yet another silence, she clears her throat and pulls down a scroll from the ceiling, like those things that you use for projectors. Except there's nothing on it. It's just blank. Next she brings a bottle of ink and a can of quills over to the table next to her, which tells me she plans to use it as a makeshift whiteboard or something.

Still in silence, Twilight fishes out a large book from one of the shelves and opens it. She lifts up her quill and is about to write something, but then she sighs and puts everything down. "I can't do this," she confesses. I raise an eyebrow. "Seth, we need to talk."

"No, we don't. Just do your job, and then we can both leave," I retort. I really don't want to get into another friendship discussion with her, since that's what this is probably going to turn into.

"I...I don't like carrying on like this. We used to be so much closer than we are right now, and now you won't even talk to me unless you're forced to," Twilight laments, looking at me with a pained expression.

"Are we really doing this?" I sigh, scratching my head in irritation. "All right. You want to know why I don't talk to you? It's because you're a total bitch."

"W...what? But...all I've tried to do is be your friend!" Twilight protests, stepping closer to me. "Why would you call me...that?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Fine. Fine, if this is the way you want it, I'll tell you exactly why I hate your fucking guts." Twilight winces at my word choice, but she waits silently for me to continue. "First off, you're a total control freak. Oh, but you have to be in charge of my schedule, don't you? Because I'm completely and totally incapable of managing my own time, apparently."

"But..." Twilight begins, but I'm not even close to being finished.

"Second off, you seem to be completely incapable of understanding when somebody is different from you. Not everyone views learning as the greatest thing in life, something which you assumed about me when you sent me that useless book." As I continue, I notice with a pang of guilt that Twilight is starting to tear up. "Oh, and don't even get me started about you and your magic. Someone's doing something you don't like? Oh I'll just use magic to yank them out from whatever they're doing and hold them completely still. I don't know about you, but I don't like being entirely at the mercy of somepony else."

"But you shouldn't worry about any of this, because I'm just a worthless human that's wallowing in self-pity! What does it matter what I say!?" the last bits of my tirade are spoken in a yell. Twilight's ears fold back, and she covers her eyes with a hoof, sobbing quietly.

Spike walks back into the room in the middle of the strained silence that ensues after the end of my rant, carrying a plate of tea. He immediately picks up on the atmosphere. After placing the tea on the table between Twilight and I, he makes for the stairs. "There's your tea. I'll just...be upstairs if you need me," Spike stammers, disappearing into the upstairs bedroom.

"I'm so sorry," Twilight sobs after Spike is gone. She looks like shit, which means she must have taken my words to heart. I feel a little bad for making her this sad, but on the other hand, she deserves it for saying the things she did.

I don't say anything in response, instead crossing my arms and waiting for her to get the fuck over herself.

Eventually, Twilight stops crying, sniffling and rising to her hooves again. She takes a few deep breaths before addressing me again. "I know...I know I'm not perfect, but every since I came to Ponyville, I've been trying to get better, and make friends," she whispers, raising her eyes to meet mine. Damn, she looks pitiful. "But I've never messed up so bad as I have with you. Princess Celestia would be ashamed of me."

"I tried so hard, but everything I said seemed to make it worse. I was just so frustrated...I've never seen somebody so opposed to making friends in my life," Twilight continued as I watched her in silence. "And then Rainbow befriended you so easily...I'm starting to doubt that I'm capable of the task the princess gave me."

"Stop," I say with a sigh. She's going the total wrong direction than what I was hoping to see. "You have friends, and they like you. It's not fair for anypony to take their failures with me as a basis on which to judge their own capabilities. You think Rainbow had it easy? Don't make me laugh. I hated her so much when I first met her."

"Really?" Twilight asks with wide eyes. "You two always seem so close."

"Yes, really. I hated her a lot. I'd have kept on hating her too, if she hadn't stopped me from...well, let's just say she saved my life. She proved herself different from the others that I've known in my life. She hated me too, and yet she did it anyway," I explain. Twilight listens attentively to my every word, like she's trying to learn from this too. "She didn't try to force it, either. There were no friendship speeches, or bullshit declarations. She let her actions speak for her, and that's why she's my friend."

"Okay...I think I understand," Twilight responds after mulling my words over in her head for a few seconds. "But...how do I make it up to you for all the things I've done to you?"

"Why do you care? I'm a total ass, so what does it matter to you if I hate you or not?" I demand, unsure of her motives.

"Because I said something horrible to you, and I feel terrible about it!" Twilight pleads , getting even closer to me, to the point where her muzzle is like, right in my face. "Please let me make it up to you somehow!"

"You don't have to do anything. Just get on with the teaching or whatever," I tell her, since I know anybody, when given the chance, will back out of an obligation if they feel that they can. Like when somebody borrows money from you, they'll never give it back to you if you don't say anything about it. In other words, people don't have any fucking integrity.

To my surprise, Twilight shakes her head. "No, I have to do something. I won't feel better until things are normal between us again. Please tell me something I can do." Well then. She's not giving up or backing out. How the hell do I deal with this? "I would even apologize publicly to you if that would help."

"That won't be necessary," I assure her. The last thing I want is that kind of publicity, especially for a personal issue. Then I'll have ponies all nosing into my business, and that would piss me off. Still, it's ridiculous that she's willing to go that far to mend our relationship. Even though we weren't friends beforehand, and it'll take a miracle for me to even consider her as a friend now. Still, I doubt she'll get off my case unless I tell her something.

Now what do I even tell her? It's not like there's anything she can do that I'll accept. I grab the teacup in front of me for the first time and take a sip from it, relishing that fruity taste that I haven't experienced in a while. As I'm drinking, I suddenly have an idea.

"For starters, you can quit holding me to your ridiculous standards. I just can't be all happy go lucky like all you ponies seem to be," I begin, setting the cup back down. "Secondly, if you really want to be my friend that badly, stop trying to force it."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asks curiously.

"Like Pinkie tried to do. 'Oh, I'm your best friend now. Deal with it.' Pissed me the fuck off," I attempt to explain. Judging by Twilight's raised eyebrows, she doesn't really understand. "Basically, quit acting like I'm obligated to share my inner secrets and stuff just because we've spoken a few times."

"Oh...I have done that a few times, haven't I?" Twilight admits sheepishly, causing me to chuckle.

"And lastly, I want you to promise never to write anything about me or my race without my explicit permission," I finish. Twilight looks a bit put out by that one, and for a second, I think she's about to protest.

"Okay. I promise," she says instead. Huh. I didn't expect her to actually do that part. This pony doesn't make any kind of sense to me.

"Then we're cool. I won't forget what you said to me that night, but that's not important in the grand scheme of things. It's just another mean thing said to me in the course of my life," I say with a shrug. That just makes Twilight look sad. "Anyway, now that this conversation is over with, can we start learning about magic now?"

And now Twilight is smiling brightly. She reaches forward with her two front hooves and...oh no, is she about to...hug me. Yup. Her two front hooves wrap around my chest in a warm hug, while I just stand there awkwardly. Literally the only pony I've ever been even halfway affectionate with is Derpy and Apple Bloom. And the former only because of how she is.

"Yeah...I'm not a huggy kind of guy," I admit, which causes her to giggle and release me. At least she's smiling now.

"So I've seen. But I find them comforting. You should give it a try," Twilight suggests. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"I'll make sure to do that. Maybe sometime around never," I joke. Twilight shoves me playfully with a sigh, and then she finally moves over to the board again, lifting up the book and quill.

"All right! Then I guess we'll start with basic magical theory. If you're going to be using magical regularly, I want you to be able to understand how it works at the base level," Twilight begins, and she scribbles something down on the scroll. "First, I'll explain the difference between magic and mana..."

"Cut," I interrupt her. Twilight huffs and puts down the quill, annoyed that she's already been interrupted. "I can't read. So writing notes on the board is totally useless."

"Oh...I forgot about that," Twilight admits, looking sheepish. She regards the whole scroll thing she's got set up. "That makes all of this rather pointless, doesn't it?"

"Unless you can draw pictures," I point out in a joking manner. However, Twilight appears to take me seriously, because her eyes light up, and she starts sketching something on the scroll.

"Excellent idea!" Twilight exclaims.

I immediately facepalm. Oh boy. I guess I'm going to be in this room for a while.

---

"So you absolutely cannot attempt to use more magic than you possess in your reservoir, or it will severely damage your magical core," Twilight finishes, drawing an X through the picture she drew of a unicorn's horn.

Despite all my trepidation, this lesson has been somewhat interesting. It's pretty basic stuff, but that doesn't matter. Before this, I had considered magic to be some ridiculous bullshit thing that breaks physics. It kinda does, but not entirely. Magic has its own set of particles called mana that function almost entirely on quantum physics. I'm no physics major, so I can't say I truly know all about it. Thankfully, all Twilight did was give me a basic run through.

Also, something that I need to be careful about is not using too much magic. If I run out of magic in my reservoir and I try to keep using it, it will drain my life instead. I wonder if that's what happened when I was fighting the Scorpios? Or maybe I'm an idiot. Fuck it, I'm no magical expert.

I'll file that away in my brain. Don't want to end up killing myself. Not when I have friends that would probably care if I accidentally got myself killed. Like Rainbow. I feel like she'd hold my ghost here out of rage. If that's even a thing. Whatever.

"I think that will be good enough for tonight," Twilight decides, setting down the quill. The scroll she'd been using is now covered in little diagrams and charts. I do appreciate that's she's tailored her teaching style to me. And it's somewhat important, so I never fall asleep like I did the last time she lectured me. "How are you doing? Do you understand all of this?"

"More or less. Likely I'll have to sleep on it before it actually sinks in," I inform her, recalling my study habits from college. That's essentially what this is, after all. Only with fucking pony professors.

"That's fine. I'd assign you some homework and books to study, but as you said, you can't read," Twilight replies with a knowing smile. "So that's your homework. Learn to read!"

"Yes, ma'am," I retort sarcastically, earning a giggle from Twilight. Homework and books to study. Fucking wonderful.

"You're a very good listener. I was honestly expecting you to fall asleep at some point," Twilight continues.

"It's because of the pretty little pictures you drew for me," I return with a dumb grin. Twilight looks at me oddly, as if trying to determine whether or not I'm being serious. "No, seriously, I've had to deal with teachers far worse than you in my own education."

"Oh?" Twilight gets that curious look in her eyes that I've seen many times before. "What kind of education system did you go through? How did they set up their curriculum? What kind of subjects did they..."

"No," I cut across her before she can ask any more questions. Twilight huffs again and looks at me with a flat browed expression.

"Oh come on, please? I promised not to write about it!" Twilight insists, giving me friggin puppy dog eyes. Really? That only really works with Apple Bloom, and only because she's adorable as fuck.

"Still no. I don't like talking about my race," I repeat. Twilight's face falls, and she sighs in disappointment.

"Okay. Maybe another time then," Twilight says sadly. "Would you like to stay for dinner? I could have Spike cook us up something good."

"Like what?" I ask curiously. I mean, I've eaten with Twilight before, and I can always pay her for the meal. Besides, it would just be her. No way I'm ever eating with Applejack and her entire family. I only like eating alone or with one or two others. Suddenly I think of something funny. Before Twilight can answer, I follow up with, "Like a cherry pie?"

Twilight's face is the best fucking thing ever, getting me laughing. "Really? You're going to bring that up now?" she complains, rubbing her face in memory of how hard she had to scrub to get all the filling off.

"I need a cool drink of water, because that was such a sweet surprise!" I reply, laughing even harder at my dumb reference that she clearly doesn't get, if her confused face is anything to go by. "Don't ask, I'm being stupid."

"Okay...anyway, I can have Spike cook us some..." Twilight tries again, but I cut her off again..

"No, we should totally make a cherry pie." My interruption causes Twilight to shut her mouth and growl slightly.

"You're always interrupting me," she complains. When I stare at her, she raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? You really want a cherry pie?"

"Damn right I do. I haven't had any freakin pie since getting here. I'm craving it now," I say, leaning back in my chair. Twilight sighs and facehoofs.

"I don't have all the materials for a pie. So if you want to do this, you'll have to come with me into town and do some shopping," she admits. I shrug. No big deal. I have no plans after this, and now that the idea is on the table, I really want some fucking pie.

"And we'll split the cost for the ingredients," I add. Twilight looks at me surprised, and then a happy smile crosses her face. "Quit grinning at me like a fool and let's go. I'm hungry!"

"All right! Let's go then, Seth! We have a pie to prepare for!" Twilight exclaims happily. Huh, suddenly she's a lot more enthusiastic than before. Wonder what brought that on. "Spike! We're heading out!"

Spike pokes his head out from the upstairs bedroom upon hearing his name. "Wait, is it safe to come dow...oh come on, where are you going?" he calls after us, just as we shut the door behind us.

---

We actually have to stop by several places to get everything we need, including Sugarcube Corner for the materials needed to bake the pie shell and the filling, like flour, sugar, butter, cherries, and other such things. We run into Pinkie there, who is all too happy to help us out. Maybe a little too happy, but that can be said about everything she does.

The price isn't that bad for everything. Once we split it, it's even less. I still have plenty of bits to spare. Since I've accepted I'm not going to have a house for a while, I've started caring less about my money. As long as I'm not in the red, I mean.

Twilight and I step back into the library, carrying the groceries from our trip. I'm eager to get in that kitchen, a fact that is emphasized by the growling of my stomach.

"Wait, do I spy groceries?" Spike exclaims, bounding down the stairs, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Damn right! We're gonna make some kickass pie!" I announce, following Twilight into the kitchen.

"Yes, and we'll need your help, Spike," Twilight adds. Spike's eyes go wide, and he sprints into the kitchen after us.

"Aww yeah, pie!" Spike responds, now as hyped up as I am for this. Twilight removes the recipe from a bag and pins it to a cupboard.

"Now, we're going to follow this recipe by the letter, so we can make the best pie that we..." she begins, talking all official, which lasts until a cherry hits her right on the tip of her nose. "What the...what are you two doing?"

Spike high fives me, as he had been the one to pass me the cherry. "Your face right now," I tell her, chuckling. Twilight's response is to facehoof.

With that, the three of us launch into our pie making extravaganza, which had totally been my dumb idea. I don't care.

Pie.

---

Author's Note:

I'm back, and goddamn, that was the best experience in my entire fucking life. Bronycon is amazing, and I'm going to take this segment right here to share all of the stories I have.

So I met a bunch of the guys from the roleplay area I frequent, and attended all of the fanfic and RP panels that were there. I also got my Pinkie CCG card signed by Andrea Libman, which was great. It was my first time meeting her, or even seeing what she looked like. A few of the other voice actors were there as well. Unfortunately, Apple Bloom's voice actor wasn't there, nor was Rainbow's. Oh well. Next year.

I was also standing in line waiting for an improv panel, and then this woman walked by and broke one of the signs. She freaked out a little bit, so my buddy and I helped her fix it. She told us we were awesome, and then hoofbumped us and left. The guy behind us is just looking at us like, "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS?!" Turns out that was Twilight's singing voice, Rebecca Shoichet. We were speechless for a good five minutes.

Now lastly, there was a pony karaoke thing. It was a bit of trouble getting into the line because the staff was irritating, but once I got up there, I totally blew the rest of them away. Like, all the other singers had just been staring at the lyrics on the wall and mumbling to the mic. The first thing I said when I got up there was, "I don't need any stinking lyrics!" and then I turned and faced the crowd the whole time. I was the only person to get a top score on the karaoke thing. In fact, I think I'll go a step further and show you how to find the video. Search "Bronycon 2014 best karaoke" on YouTube. It will literally be the first link.

I also bought a bunch of pony merch. 400$ worth of merch. One cannot have too much pony. I could go on, but this author's note is long already.

In this chapter, character development happens! And holy shit, Fluttershy has some lines! There, now I can say that the author's note was at least marginally related to the story.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think! In the meantime, since I'm hungry as fuck, I'll pretend I'm Applejack and eat some apple fritters. Om nom nom.

I can't say I've ever really done anything like this before. I'm not sure how well it's going to go, either. But this was my idea, and I've already dropped some money on it, so I'm going to finish this. It shouldn't be that difficult.

Basically, Twilight, Spike, and I are standing in the kitchen of the library. The kitchen table is covered with all of the ingredients that we've gathered, separated into two groups. One's for the filling, and the other is for the crust. As neither Twilight, Spike, or I have ever made a pie, this is all new for us.

Since the dough is the hardest part, we start on that first. And it turns out a total disaster. Because Spike is a total klutz, he ends up dropping the flour right on to my back, covering my clothes and skin with the powdery substance.

"You...what the...fucking...goddammit, Spike!" I curse, turning around the moment I feel the flour hit me in an attempt to catch the bag. Thankfully, I'm quick enough to scoop it up into my arms, though the sudden stop sends flour out of the top of the bag and into my face. My eyes sting, so I shut them and blow out to keep any of it from getting in my airways. "Son of a bitch!"

"Sorry! I forgot how heavy it was," Spike admits apologetically, wiping the flour off of his hands. I stare at him with a twitching right eye.

"It's a bag of flour. Of course it's going to be heavy! Idiot!" I berate him while putting the bag back on the table. I turn over to Twilight. "Give me the bowl. I'll get this thing started...what's so funny?"

Twilight is holding a hoof to her mouth, giggling helplessly. "You're all covered in flour..." she observes, pointing her other hoof at my face. Really...okay no.

I scoop out a handful of flour from the bag and promptly throw it into Twilight's face, causing her to recoil. "What the...ah!" Twilight yelps, and then she begins to cough and squint as the cloud of flour obscures her vision. "Did you really just..."

"And now, so are you. Bet it doesn't feel great, does it?" I tell her with a grin. With bits of flour clinging to her face and mane, Twilight glares at me.

"Quit wasting all the flour!" she admonishes both Spike and I, puffing. I can't help but laugh a little at the white cloud that comes out of her mouth. "How much do we have left?"

"About half a bag left," Spike observes. Twilight's jaw dropped.

"Where'd all that flour go?" she demands.

"All over me!" I complain, ruffling the back of my shirt to get excess bits of flour out. "Fucking Spike, dropping the flour."

"Do we still have enough?" Twilight asks worriedly, checking the recipe. "See if there's at least two hooffuls in there."

"Stop worrying, Twilight! There's plenty!" Spike declares, lifting up a cup filled with flour...which I immediately take from him. "Hey!"

"Like I'm trusting you with the flour," I retort, taking the cup and pouring it in the bowl. I repeat that motion one more time before turning back to Twilight. "What else goes in here?"

"Um...salt and butter, but the butter is added bit by bit," Twilight says after a second of peering at the recipe. Oh sheesh, this is nuts. We've barely even started, and this is chaos. "You need a quarter hoofful of the salt."

"How the fuck do I know what a quarter hoofful is?" I demand, putting the cup down in irritation.

Twilight huffs and grabs the bag of salt herself, along with a measuring cup. "See this cup? This one is equivalent to a quarter hoofful. It even says as much on the handle."

"I can't read, Twilight," I remind her, scratching an itch on my arm because of the flour all over it. Twilight forms a small "o" with her mouth, and then giggles sheepishly.

With the two of us working together, we manage to get the dough ready to go into the refrigerator. Yeah, refrigerators run on electricity, supposedly, so I have to ask Twilight about it.

"Oh my refrigerator? It works by forcing the heat from inside to the outside air using an energy transfer enchantment." Twilight was only too happy to explain it to me. She shows me the purple orb on the side of the refrigerator. "I keep it powered by directly channeling my magic into this crystal."

"Fucking magic," I reiterate, to which Twilight nods with a wry expression. I open the refrigerator and place the bowl in which the dough is sitting inside. "How long does this thing have to stay in there?"

"According to the recipe, a few hours," Twilight answers, causing me to groan.

"Really? What the hell am I going to do for that long without food?" I complain, my stomach growling again. Twilight bops me lightly on the nose with her hoof.

"You do realize we're essentially cooking dessert, right?" Twilight says with a smile. "And you can't have dessert without dinner. We can always whip something up in the meantime."

"Like what?" Twilight responds by first opening the refrigerator again.

"Well, I have a decent amount of rice in here...some vegetables...eggs..." Twilight lists. While she's talking, I walk up behind her to take a look at her stock myself.

Wow, there's a lot of fruit and vegetables in here. We could always make a fruit salad with what's in here. In fact, that sounds good. I've had practically nothing but vegetables since I got here. "Twilight, what if we throw some of these fruits together and have that?"

"Ooh, that sounds good," Twilight agrees. She opens up a cupboard above us and withdraws another bowl. "What kinds of fruit do you like?"

"No honeydew, cantaloupe, or bananas. Anything else is fair game," I answer her, telling her the fruits that I hate the most. The first two I mentioned are just disgusting. Bananas aren't too bad, but they have no place in a fruit salad. "Especially strawberries and pineapple. The more of those you put in, the happier I'll be."

"Oh? I'm more a fan of grapes and blueberries, myself," Twilight relates, though she's already pulling out cases of fruit from the fridge. "But those are good too."

"Ugh, this meal sounds...way too healthy," Spike complains, getting dangerously close to the bag of sugar. "Why can't we have anything sweeter? Like gems?"

"Spike, if you stick a single claw into that sugar, I'll chop it off," I warn him. Spike immediately takes the claw he was inching into the bag right out, attempting to look innocent. Suddenly, I turn around to face him. "Hold on, what did you just say?"

"Uh...I was asking why couldn't have something sweeter, like gems," Spike repeats, confused. I turn to Twilight.

"He eats gems?" I ask incredously. Twilight nods absentmindedly as she starts placing fruit into the large bowl with her magic. "Seriously? The fuck. How does a dragon eat gems?"

"We just do. And they're deeelicious," Spike responds with a lick of his lips, much to my frustration.

"You just...do. That makes about as much sense as magic does...and shut up, Twilight," I deadpan, cutting off Twilight before she can protest about my quip on magic. "Oh, and if you have raspberries, toss those in too."

"I think I have a few left in here," Twilight replies. Seconds later, she lets out a little "aha!" and pulls out a case that's half full of raspberries.

I start to salivate as I watch her fill the bowl with all of these fruits. Finally, the bowl is nearly full with all of those delicious fruits. "Now, for the dressing. I have cream cheese, feta cheese, whipped cream, shredded cheddar, and a few others. What do you prefer, Seth?" Twilight asks, pulling out the aforementioned toppings.

"Hm, all of those sound good. I doubt you can really mix any of those, unless..." I muse. I have an idea a few seconds later. "Oh! Do you have honey?"

"Yes, but what would you need honey for?" Twilight asks curiously.

"Use the honey as dressing, and then mix the feta and shredded cheddar together, and place all of that on top."

"Honey as dressing?"

"No, shut up, it's really good. Trust me, I did this once with apples and carrots, and it was amazing," I press. Twilight looks unsure, but despite that, she does produce a bottle of honey from the pantry.

"Apples and carrots?" Twilight questions wryly.

"Don't you judge me. It was delicious."

"I'll take your word for it." With that, Twilight and I put together the dressing for our meal.

At last I have something to put in my stomach. Working with all this food while being hungry is never fun.

Now that the salad is done, Twilight dishes out a serving to all of us, even though Spike grumbles the whole time.

Twilight lifts the fork to her mouth with magic and takes the first bite, while I watch her expectantly. What? I want to know what she thinks of my dressing idea.

"This is...good!" Twilight compliments me after she swallows. "I have to say, I was a bit skeptical."

"Told you. I suck at cooking, but I know what I like," I say with a shrug.

Now that all of the talking was out of the way, the three of us dig into our fruit. And goddamn, it is delicious. And nutritious. God knows I haven't had much vitamin C since getting here. I bet when I get sick for the first time, it'll be a bitch.

Anyway, food now, thinking later.

---

At last, just before the dough is ready to be taken out, we get started on making the filling. Most of the waiting part is over, so all it takes now is heating up the cherries, and mixing the resulting juice with more sugar and cornstarch. As I've never really cooked more than typical college meals, this is a fun experience.

While the filling cools, we spread out the dough in a pan, which is now perfect. The filling goes in next, and then finally the entire confection goes right into the oven, which Spike lights with a burst of flame.

After an hour of small talk and reading, the pie is at last done.

---

"Oh my god, would you look a this gloriousness," I gasp, my mouth watering up a storm the moment I open the oven. Inside is a golden brown steaming pie of awesomeness, put together by our haphazard cooking skills.

"Step back," Twilight orders, and the pie is surrounded by her magical aura. So that's why she doesn't have any oven mitts. She doesn't need any when she has magic.

Using her magic, Twilight sets the pie down on the table, which she then cuts into several pieces. While she's doing that, Spike sets the table for us, setting out cups of water and small plates with forks. Lastly, Twilight sets the whipped cream down on the table.

"All right, this was your idea, Seth, so you get the first piece," Twilight decides, placing a sizable piece of pie on a plate, and then smothering it with whipped cream. She slides it over to me, where I don't waste any time in stabbing it with my fork and shoveling a piece into my mouth.

"Ooohhh, my sweet baby Jesus, this is like, sex in my mouth," I emit, relishing the warm cherry flavor exploding in my mouth. Twilight's eyebrow shoots up at my words.

"Is...that another human phrase?" she asks with an odd expression. I nod absentmindedly, still engrossed in eating this magnificent pie that we've spent practically the entire night making. "Your kind certainly has some...er...interesting phrases."

"Oh please, you haven't even heard the worst yet," I say with a shrug. Twilight sighs and shakes her head, and then serves herself a piece of pie as well.

"Wow, this turned out very well!" Twilight exclaims, and then she starts imitating me. And by that, I mean shoveling it down because it's too fucking awesome for words. "This was a good idea. Thank you for doing this with me. I had a lot of fun."

Wait...what? I was essentially just using your facilities to get me something I craved...and she apparently had fun with it. Well, that wasn't my intention at all. There I go, making another pony happy without really trying. Is it really this easy to make ponies happy?

"Whatever. I just wanted some pie," I reply uncomfortably. Twilight doesn't seem perturbed by my seemingly unemotional response, though. "Oh, and here."

Twilight sighs in exasperation when I pass over a few more bits to pay for the salad. She knows she's not going to persuade me to keep my money, so she takes the bits reluctantly, placing them on the counter.

"Now this is more like it!" Spike proclaims, interrupting the two of us by loudly chomping into his slice of pie. Only with much less decorum, to the point where he's sending bits of it everywhere.

"Spike!"

"Goddammit, Spike."

---

"I'll see you later!" Twilight calls after me as I leave through the front door. There's a content smile on her face as she watches me go.

"Damn right you will. We've only eaten half of that pie," I reply without turning around. "It had better still be there the next time I visit."

"Don't worry, I'll keep Spike away from it," Twilight jokes, tapping her assistant dragon on the top of his head, much to his chagrin.

"Hey!" Spike protests.

"I'm talking about you too. You totally seem like the kind of pony that eats pie when no one's looking," I tease her. Twilight flushes.

"I do not! You're confusing me with Pinkie!"

"Oh dear, two Pinkies. How would I ever survive?" I return with a laugh. With that, I leave the giggling Twilight behind and walk into the darkening streets of Ponyville.

The other ponies that are still in the street spot me and watch me with some interest. Yes yes, the human is back. Go ahead and look until you get used to it again. Goddamn, sometimes I wish I could look like them so I wouldn't stand out so much. Actually, no. I think I like my current form the way it is.

When I get back to to my current place of residence and walk inside, I don't see Vinyl anywhere. Instead, I can hear loud music blaring from somewhere on the bottom floor. Which means Vinyl is practicing those new mixing techniques, probably. Oh well. All that means is that I don't have to bother talking with her before going upstairs.

The first thing I do upon getting upstairs is throw these clothes aside and step into the shower. I have to wash off all of this flour that Spike poured all over me. Twilight is probably doing the same right about now.

I've worn those regal clothes for several days now. I'll probably start wearing the new outfit I got from Rarity this morning, and then I'll figure out how to do laundry without the machines afterward.

Once that's taken care of, I shut myself in my room and open up my journal. It's about time I wrote down the events of what happened in Canterlot. It was one hell of a trip. I'll get as much of this done as I can, and then I'll head to sleep.

---

I'm woken up by the sound of something slamming right into my window. It's not an easy awakening either. Adrenaline fucking shoots through my body, causing me to lurch up in bed and look around in alarm.

From outside, I hear a muffled, "Oww..." spoken in that scratchy voice I've come to know so well. Now officially awake, I plant my face into my hands.

"Really?" I say after I open the window. Looking down, I see Rainbow lying on the ground, nursing her head. "How can you fail that bad?"

"Oh shut up. The window looked open from a distance!" Rainbow defends, getting to her feet. "I only noticed about three meters away that it wasn't."

"Why the hell would I leave the window open? That's like asking for a dumb pegasus to nose her way inside," I remark. Rainbow glares up at me, probably thinking that I meant her. I kinda did, especially with how she slammed into a closed window. I mean, come on, you have to be pretty dumb to fuck that up.

"I dunno. Maybe you wanted a breeze?" Rainbow attempts to defend herself, but even she realizes that her argument is a bit weak.

"In the middle of winter?" I deadpan.

"It could happen! Now enough about the window. Get down here, we've got work to do," Rainbow deflects, beckoning to me with a hoof.

Wait what? I duck back inside the window and check the clock, noticing that it's just turned 8'o'clock in the morning. Fuck, there goes my night. I stayed up too late writing in my damn journal. I peek back down at Rainbow. "All right, I'll be down in a bit. Gotta throw on some clothes." I call.

Okay, so what to wear? I look through the drawers in my room, where Rarity's outfits for me are stored. Hm, I could go with the new clothes I just got...or I could go with one of the sets of clothing I haven't worn yet.

Quickly deciding, I throw on a set of jeans and the Rarity-themed shirt. By that, I mean the long sleeved white and purple one. That'll be enough to keep me warm in the wintry weather.

With that, I soon join Rainbow out front, where she's already stretching herself out in preparation for exercise. I guess I should probably do that too, especially if I'm going to be running for a whole hour. God, this is going to suck.

"You ready for this?" Rainbow asks enthusiastically, stretching out her back like a cat. "I'm not gonna let you stop for this entire hour."

"I gathered as much. No, I'm not ready. I'd much rather be at home asleep, or doing something else other than running in circles," I say bluntly, stretching out my legs first. It feels damn good, but no doubt I'm going to be sore as hell by the time this is over.

"It's for your own good. Look at you, you're like a twig!" Rainbow teases me, feeling the width of my leg muscles with her two front hooves.

"Hooves off," I tell her irritably., shaking her off. "Yeah, fuck this. I never planned on going into a job that required me to use muscles of any kind."

"Really? What kind of job were you thinking about getting?" Rainbow inquires, looking up from her stretches curiously.

"Something in computers. Basically all it entailed was sitting around at a desk all day and making things work," I relate without thinking. And there I go talking about my time again. Fucking...dammit Rainbow. Every time I talk to you, I feel like I'm talking to Amaryllis. And then things I'd rather not talk about end up spilling out without me realizing it.

"That's boring. I'm a weather pony, but I'd much rather be a stunt flier, like the Wonderbolts. I want to be part of them one day," Rainbow reciprocates, practically having little stars in her eyes.

"Well, I doubt that'll be difficult for you. They already know who you are," I remind her, recalling our time spent eating lunch with them. They were pretty okay, I guess, if a bit annoying. By that, I mean I kept getting that feeling like I didn't really belong, since they've known each other for who knows how long.

"You think so?" Rainbow seems really happy for some reason. I nod, finishing my stretches. "Awesome! I'll do it, and then I'll get you into all of our shows for free."

"Jumping the gun a bit there," I warn her, only for her to look confused.

"Jumping the what now?" Right, human phrase.

"Skip it. Basically, don't get ahead of yourself. One step at a time, and all that bullshit the trainers tell you."

"Right. Anyway, let's get going," Rainbow commands, and then she lifts up her hoof, where there's what looks like a stopwatch attached. "We'll start running when I start the timer, and stop when it beeps. Got it?"

I nod, and I get ready to run. Rainbow steps in front of me. "I'll set the course. Follow me, and don't stop until I say so," she continues. "Ready?"

"Not quite," I say, remembering something. Rainbow looks at me curiously, as I shut my eyes. "I don't have to use magic again until later this evening, so I think I'll do some magical endurance exercises as well."

"Some what? Will that hinder your running at all?" Rainbow asks, concerned. I shrug.

"No way to know for sure. Stand back a second," I warn her. She takes a few steps back, just as I unleash my magic. My vision turns green once more, tendrils of purple magic streaming from the corners of my eyes. At first, the darkness explodes from around me, but I quickly get it under control, until I'm in what Shining Armor called my base form. At this point, if it weren't for the faint dark smoke surrounding me, as well as the eyes, it's hard to tell from the outside that I'm even using magic.

"Wow, I forgot how awesome that looks. Actually, I don't think I've seen you use this magic up close since that time in the forest," Rainbow expresses, peering into my eyes with admiration. "You're in control, right?"

"Yeah. I can feel the crazy lurking in my mind, but if I keep what's important close to me, it isn't really a problem," I assure her. Suddenly I realized how I phrased that. Great, now she's going to ask.

"What's important? What does that mean?" Just as I thought, Rainbow is curious. I look at her silently. Well, if I'm honest, the whole reason I'm doing this is for you and Apple Bloom. What's important is you. And I won't let this magic use itself to harm you. Ever.

"Like I'm really going to tell you that." My response gets Rainbow to huff and look at me with exasperation. "Anyway, running time?"

"Right. Running. Okay. Ready? One, two, and go!"

Rainbow hits the button on the stopwatch, and then she takes off running. I start off at a jog as well, only to realize that I'll have to run a bit faster if I want to keep up with her.

So I'm not sprinting, but I'm not jogging either. And god, it already hurts. My poor muscles are burning with this trivial exertion, crying from so long without use. As I run, the darkness of my magic trails behind me slightly.

The best part is that Rainbow is nowhere near trying. I can tell just by looking at her leisured expression. The way she's smiling, this seems like a walk in the park for her. She can probably go much faster than this, if those muscles in her legs are anything to go by.

It seems like we're going to be running a few laps of Ponyville for the course of this hour. Whatever I guess. If I'm doing this, I'm going to do this.

A few minutes into the run, the pain in my legs dies away, and it actually starts to get rather enjoyable. As long as I force myself to keep a steady, deep breathing rhythm, I don't feel much pain at all. This is actually the longest I've ever run in my life, so I didn't really know there was a "zone," so to speak, where it actually feels good to run.

Of course, if I push myself any farther than this, it starts to hurt again. Maintaining this pace is relatively easy though.

I do start to get tired as the run goes on as well. It's also getting rather hot, despite the fact that there's still snow on the ground. I can feel sweat beading on my brow and in my armpits. It's a disgusting feeling, but also somewhat satisfying to know that I'm getting a good workout from this.

My magical reserves slowly dwindle as well, because I don't let myself block the magic for this entire period. If what Shining Armor said was true, doing this will slowly increase my magical reserves. Though what I need more magic for is beyond me. I took down one of the most lethal predators in the Everfree without really trying. Hell, it took the fucking Princess of the Sun to take me down. I'm probably one of the strongest things in the country, for whatever reason. That fact does wonders for my ego.

Though why I couldn't have discovered this magic in my time is beyond me. Or did magic not even exist then? Fuck, this timeline is confusing as hell. All I know is that Discord fucked shit up, but I don't know when he did. Sometimes I wish I could ask him myself.

Look at me, thinking while running. Doing this every other day might not be so bad after all.

---

I take it back. I take it the fuck back. Yeah, so I'm exhausted by the end of the run, but I don't feel much pain. That is, until Rainbow signals for me to stop.

"Wow, you did pretty good!" Rainbow praises me after she slows to a stop back where we started: at Vinyl's place. "I didn't expect that from you at all...and what are you doing?"

"Fuck...ow...son of a bitch...oh my god it tastes like blood," I hack, kneeling down on the ground. All of the pain that I should have been feeling during the run seems to have all hit my at once. My thighs and ankles burn like fire, and I can taste phlegm in the back of my throat. It tastes all irony, like blood. "Owwwwww, it fucking hurts."

"Oh come on, how does it hurt now? You were fine during the rest of the run," Rainbow questions incredulously, watching my pitiful form on the ground with some amusement.

"Don't ask me, I don't fucking do this on a regular basis..." I snap, and then continue groaning. Oh god, I don't think anything has ever hurt so much. My leg muscles feel like they're dying. "It's like it all hit me at once when I stopped."

"Come to think of it, that may have happened to me too early on," Rainbow muses, causing me to look at her in disbelief. Thanks for warning me, you prick. "Oh well. Get up and walk. You'll feel better."

"I can't feel my legs, dammit!" I complain. Rainbow laughs at my pain, but she does offer me a hoof to help me get up. Wincing, I take it and climb back to my feet. I wobble a bit, unused to this kind of physical exertion. I'm glad I did it though. The running part was rather enjoyable. Though the stopping part I can do without.

I shut off my magic next. My reserves are a little over halfway empty, but it should all be replenished by the time I have to deal with Rose this evening. So the next thing I should do is probably get a shower.

"All right, I should probably get a shower and clean off all this sweat," I tell Rainbow. "Don't want to walk into the school smelling like a dog."

"I thought you didn't care what other ponies think of you?" Rainbow reminds me with a nudge.

"I really don't. But this isn't about them. This is about what I think, and I know I look like shit right now. Besides, my hair is all greasy, and I hate that," I clarify for her, my voice somewhat irritated. Rainbow nods, finally understanding.

"In that case, I'm gonna scram. I gotta get to work myself. Gotta set up a light dusting of snow before the storm in a few days," Rainbow tells me. Suddenly a thought strikes me.

"Why do you need to do that?" I ask curiously. Rainbow stops just before taking off to look at me. "Like, why not just make it sunny all the time, and just keep the weather constant, provided you keep the land hydrated? Why make storms?"

"I dunno. You should ask the Board of Weather Control. They're the ones in charge," Rainbow says with a shrug, before taking to the air. "See ya later!"

"That's not what I...ugh, whatever," I grunt as she flies off, leaving me alone in the street. Well, now that she's gone, I should get ready to go to the school. Apparently now I'm going to be the equivalent of a student teacher. Oh well. At least I'll get to work with Apple Bloom if she needs it.

As I step inside Vinyl's house to smell the aroma of eggs, I realize I should probably eat as well.

---

After eating a quick meal with Vinyl and getting my shower, I get dressed in Rarity's more formal wear, leaving the sweat encrusted clothes I'd worn earlier. I'll wear those for workouts and training. I'll probably change into those later, before meeting with Rose and picking up supplies for Fluttershy. Because I'll probably be sweating then too.

Maybe I should learn how to do laundry tonight as well. God knows all of my clothes could use a wash. Also, I should probably tell Rarity that one of the clothing sets she made for me got incinerated. Yeah, I doubt she'll be happy to hear that, but it wasn't exactly my choice either. How was I supposed to know how fucking OP Celestia was?

Right then. After a farewell to Vinyl, I make my way out into the streets. School has probably already started. Which means I should get there soon if I want to make good on my promise to Cheerilee.

My legs still feel like lead as I approach the schoolhouse. I grab onto the mailbox for the school to catch my breath for a bit before continuing on.

As per usual, I don't bother to knock before throwing open the door and stepping inside. Also as per usual, the class is already in session, which I interrupt with my sudden entrance.

All of the little foals look up from their desk at my arrival. Some are more happy to see me than others. By that, I mean Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon look slightly worried, while Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are waving happily at me.

"Ah! Welcome, Seth. I'd heard you were back in town," Cheerilee greets me, stepping out from behind her desk and approaching me. "How was your trip?"

"Better than I expected, really. But I didn't come here to talk about that. I'm your student teacher for today, remember?" I remind her. Cheerilee tilts her head to one side curiously. Moments later, she smiles brightly.

"Student teacher? Well, that's not what I would have called it, but I like that idea. And you're staying the whole day?" Cheerilee responds, her cheerfulness practically emanating from her in waves. When I nod, she turns to address her students. "Pardon the interruption, everypony, but I have an announcement to make regarding our human visitor."

That gets the foals interested, seeing as how some of them lean forward in their seats, looking between me and their teacher with curiosity etched on their little faces.

"Seth here will be standing in with our class today, as my assistant teacher," Cheerilee announces. The foals all start to chatter amongst themselves at that. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exchange worry-filled glances, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cheer happily. "If you ever need help, feel free to ask either myself or him."

After a quick nod to the class, I take the same seat in the back of the class, next to Dinky, who also seems happy to see me.

"Now then, class. Let's get back to learning how to properly use gerunds, shall we?" Cheerilee declares, turning back to the board, where a presentation is running. Oh boy, grammar. I think I'll pay attention in this one. Who knows? I may be able to extrapolate the meanings of some words if I look closely enough.

Like last time, math doesn't occur until after the grammar, science/magic, and history portions of the curriculum. So there's not really much cause for me to do anything except rest. Which is fine, because I really need that rest. I don't sleep though. All of this is interesting. Well, most of it. The science/magic thing? I've learned the science bits a long time ago in like, elementary school. The magic bits I've just learned from Twilight yesterday. Even so, it's good to know that at least some rules of science still apply.

No, it's when math rolls around that I actually have to do something. Cheerilee decides that today would be a good time to pass out a worksheet on advanced multiplication. Like, with three digit numbers and stuff. Needless to say, it's time for me to start earning my keep.

"Remember, if you need help with any of these problems, feel free to ask Seth or myself," Cheerilee reminds the students as they start to work on the sheet.

Well, she says that, but what ends up happening is that most of the students ask Cheerilee for help and not me. Probably because of how I look. Or maybe because of the fact that I beat up Diamond and Silver a while ago. I'm sure that rumor made the rounds. Who knows. Either way, if I want to earn my lessons, I have to do something.

I look over the room a few times, looking for somepony that needs help, but isn't asking for it. Sure enough, I notice one filly in particular that seems to be staring at the page, pencil clenched in her mouth and her brow wrinkled in concentration. Despite that, she hasn't written a thing on the page.

"You seem to be having trouble," I observe, kneeling down next to Scootaloo. She puts down the pencil and looks at me, irritated.

"It's none of your business! I can handle this on my own just fine!" she protests vehemently. In other words, she still doesn't like me enough to let me help her. You know, at this point I would say fuck her and leave it be, but I want my lessons.

"Yeah...I would be inclined to believe that, if there was a single number written on your paper," I point out, much to her chagrin and frustration.

"T...that doesn't matter! I'm figuring it out, you see? I certainly don't need any help from you!" Scootaloo doesn't seem to be backing down at all. And I'm just about at the end of my patience.

"Okay, no. Remember your whole 'let's start over' speech? It's kinda falling a bit flat here, especially since I'm offering to help you. Me. Offering to help. I don't do that often," I tell her flatly, being brutally honest. It seems to be working. Scootaloo flinches and looks at me with an unreadable expression.

"I suppose...but can you even do this? I've never seen you do anything academic like...ever," Scootaloo challenges me.

"Let's find out. Tell me what Cheerilee is trying to have you do," I reply. Scootaloo looks down at the worksheet and points a hoof at the first problem.

"She says we're supposed to use our basic multiplication tables to figure out these larger numbers, but I can't do it for the life of me," Scootaloo explains. "If you're so smart, can you explain it?"

"Oh my god, is she trying to teach you the standard multiplication method?" I ask incredulously, looking at the problem. I can't read the numbers, but it seems to be laid out the same way. "That method sucks. It's difficult and confusing. I can't even do it if you asked me to."

"Then how? This is going to be on the test; Cheerilee said so!" Scootaloo laments. I tap her lightly on the muzzle.

"I got this. There's a better method. My professors hated me for using it, but it works so much better and is so much easier to learn than standard multiplication. Give me your pencil," I order her. Scootaloo hoofs over the pencil to me obediently. "Now read out that number to me. I can't read Equestrian yet."

"Oh, so you need me to teach you something?" Scootaloo asks smugly. I give her a deadpan stare. "Just kidding. It's three hundred eighty two times fourteen."

"Right. This shouldn't be that hard then. First thing you do is draw a box, like so," I begin, drawing a box just below the problem on her worksheet. "The first number is three digits, so draw three columns. The second number is two digits, so split the entire box into two rows."

Scootaloo looks down at my drawing, which is now a box with the dimensions 3x2. "Okay, what next?"

"Then you draw little diagonals through the whole thing, like this," I continue, drawing lines diagonally to the left, starting from the upper right corner of each box and bisecting each box on the way down. "Now, to finish setting it up, you write the individual numbers out. That first box on top will have the three, and so on. Go ahead and do that."

"Okay...let's see..." Scootaloo takes back the pencil and writes down the numbers as I'd directed her. Thankfully, she picks up on how to do it pretty quickly, so I don't have to help with with that much. "Now what?"

"Now take the first box, on the upper left here. What numbers would you say this box corresponds to?"

"Um, the three and the one," Scootaloo answers, confused.

"That's right. And what's three multiplied by one?"

"Just three, right?"

"Yup. And therefore, write down a two digit version of three in this box here. So, zero three, with one digit on either side of that diagonal there," I say, pointing at each individual spot. Still perplexed, Scootaloo does what I say. "Next, the next box corresponds to what numbers?"

"Eight and one. Which is just eight...oh, I see!" Scootaloo exclaims, writing down the two digit form of 8 in the box. "Which means this next one will just be two!"

"That's right. Now that the first row is done, move onto the second," I direct her. I'm letting her do most of the work, so she can do it herself later. "Tell me what goes in that first box."

"That's...a three and a four. So...twelve. So I write that in the same way? Like...one two?" Scootaloo asks as she picks up the pencil again. When I nod, she writes down the number. "Okay...so the next box will be thirty two, and the last one will be eight. That's all the numbers. So what happens now?"

"Now, the problem is no longer multiplication." At that, Scootaloo gives me an odd look. "I'm not kidding. You've done all the multiplication necessary for this problem. See the diagonal channels formed by all those diagonal lines I drew?"

"Yeah."

"Take all the numbers in each of them, add them up, and place the resulting number down at the bottom, outside the box. If the resulting number goes over ten, carry the tens place to the next diagonal, like you've been taught to do."

Scootaloo still looks confused, but she does what I say, easily adding up the numbers in each of the columns, until she comes out with the result, which is 5,348. "Is...is this the answer?" Scootaloo asks, jabbing the result with a hoof.

"That's right. Easy, isn't it?" I reply with a smug expression. Seems like even I can be a decent teacher, when given a good enough incentive.

"Wow, that was easy!" Scootaloo exclaims. "Thanks! Now I can do the rest of these...I think."

"Well, call me back if you get stuck. It's what I'm here for," I say with a shrug. With that, I stand back up to see that other students have seen my success with Scootaloo, and are now raising their little hooves, looking for help. Goddammit, I have to do that more than once, don't I? It's a good thing I'm getting something for this.

---

Finally, as class nears its end, Cheerilee collects all the worksheets. "I'll have these back to you by tomorrow, everypony and..." suddenly she cuts off when she sees what's on the top sheet. "Scootaloo, what is this?"

"What is what?" Scootaloo asks with trepidation. I cross my arms confidently. I know what's coming, so I can't help but feel a little smug.

"All these boxes and lines. That's not how I taught you to...what!?" Cheerilee sounds even more surprised as she looks through it.

"What is it, miss Cheerilee? We all know Scootaloo never does well on any of these sheets, so what's the deal?" Diamond Tiara speaks up irritably. Scootaloo responds by shooting the little bitch a glare. Huh. I don't know if Diamond meant that as an insult, or if she was just telling the truth. It better be the former, because I'll kick your ass again if its the former.

"Actually...all of these are right!" Cheerilee exclaims. Both Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo look at one another, both with shocked, wide-eyed expressions.

"Really?" Scootaloo asks hopefully, as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle look at their friend proudly.

"Yes! This is...amazing, Scootaloo! This is some high quality work indeed, even if I don't recognize the method. How did you do this?" Cheerilee praises her student.

"Well..." Scootaloo says but then pauses. She sighs, and then looks at me. "It wasn't all me. I learned this method from Seth. I did the work, but he taught me the method."

"What method would that be?" Cheerilee looks at me curiously.

"It's called Lattice Multiplication. It's essentially the same thing, but better suited to visual learners. I don't know about you, but that standard multiplication you're teaching them never worked for me," I explain. Right now, I expect her to denounce it, since that's what all my college professors did. Lattice multiplication? It's obviously an asinine method meant for those with a lower intellect. The bastards.

"In that case, it's good that we'll be seeing more of you. If this method helped Scootaloo so much, I'm eager to see how it will help the rest of my class," Cheerilee praises me. Hold on a minute, what? She's accepting it? Well...she's a better teacher than my dumb math teacher was. I guess Cheerilee agrees with me. If it works, why worry about how it's done? "Now then. You've all been working so hard today. I'm proud of you all. Class dismissed!"

There's a chorus of cheers from the students as they leap out of their desks and make for the door.

"Hey! You two!" I yell at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, just before they leave. When they look back at me, I continue. "Don't wait for me. I'll be sticking around here for a few hours."

They nod and leave as well, leaving me alone with Cheerilee. Well then, I guess it's time for my lessons.

Maybe after today I won't have ponies reading shit to me all the time.

---

Author's Note:

Yes, I did just write 2000 or so words about food. Let me tell you, writing that part was sheer torture. And not because it was boring. It was because that at the time, my parents were planning on making me dinner, so I they said not to eat until they got home. So I was hungry, and writing about delicious food. It was hell!

That aside, I'm taking the time to slow down and develop characters some more just before I take off into the second half of this arc. I found writing this chapter pretty enjoyable, especially since everything in this chapter I've had to do myself before. Running is really fun. Until you stop.

So right now, I'm immediately starting the next chapter, wrapped in an extremely soft blanket with a picture of the mane 6 on it. Seriously it's like it's made of clouds. Also, I can legitimately say that I'm draped in pony mares.

I'm now alone with Cheerilee in the schoolhouse. All the students have left and gone home or whatever, so now there's nothing left to stand in my way of finally learning how to fucking read. Good. I'm tired of feeling helpless in that regard.

"Okay, I helped your students. So...you're going to teach me how to read," I tell Cheerilee, who looks somewhat uncomfortable. You know, this is the first time it's ever just been her and me, without the presence of her students.

"Yes, of course. Shall we get started then?" Cheerilee quickly gets over whatever it is she's feeling, thankfully. "If you'll give me one moment, I'll gather the materials necessary."

Cheerilee moves over to her desk and starts rummaging around underneath it. She'll be a bit, so I look around the room as well. All of the chairs here are to small for me, but there is a set of larger stools near the back of the room. I guess that'll do for now.

I grab one of the stools and drag it over to Cheerilee's desk, just as she emerges from underneath it with a thin book in her mouth. It's a thin book with lots of colorful pictures on it, so I'm guessing it's a book for foals Great...it'll be demeaning having to learn from one of those. But I guess that's how you learn. My foreign language professor back in college would do the same thing.

Cheerilee also pulls out a few more books from beneath her desk, some of which are pretty large. Finally, after placing another thin book on top of the pile that's accumulated, she sits down across from me. "I believe that's everything. I have a few books here that start with simple meanings, as well as dictionaries, almanacs, and even some plain chapter books. How do you like to learn?" Cheerilee inquires.

"Like, what kind of learning I do better with?" I reply. I like the way she's going about this though. Instead of assuming, she's asking my opinion first.

"That's right."

"Hm, well I was always more of a visual learner," I say, even though I know what's going to end up happening if I say this. Sure enough, Cheerilee is taking out one of the picture books. Fucking great. I guess I can't really complain though. This was my idea, after all. "I don't suppose there's an easy Equestrian to phonetic translation?"

"Mm, I'm afraid it isn't that simple. You see, our written language works in different ways. Some characters represent sounds, while others sound differently in combination with other characters. Others represent numbers, and change depending on how high they go," Cheerilee explains. Oh lovely. So it's going to be more difficult than I thought. Except for the whole sounds thing. It's different from learning something like, say Japanese, in that I'm still learning English. It's just written differently. So once I figure out which characters mean what sounds, I can put two and two together. At least, that's what I'm assuming.

"I see. No sense in wasting time then. Let's do this," I say, heaving a sigh in resignation. Oh well. I aced my foreign language class anyway, so this shouldn't be too hard. Cheerilee smiles, and she opens to the first page in the picture book that she'd picked out. Upon the page is depicted several small ponies running around a yellow ball. My spirits sink further.

---

Two hours pass faster than either of us realize. This is difficult, but not impossibly so. By the time we finish for the day, I'm already starting to read basic sentences. I can recognize a lot of basic words, like "apple" and "pony." All of the words seem to use the same characters, but when some words don't sound intelligible, it means that there's a combination there that I have to keep an eye out for. Cheerilee hasn't started teaching me combinations yet, but the fact that I can recognize them is a start, at the very least.

"You're coming along very well, Seth," Cheerilee compliments me. The two of us are standing near the door, as I'm just about to leave and go get changed for training. "I only wish all students showed the same drive to learn as you do."

"I wouldn't really call it a drive to learn. It's just a drive to not be completely useless whenever I try and do anything," I correct her. Cheerilee actually laughs at that.

"Couldn't that be considered the same thing? The purpose of learning is so that you are better prepared for what lies ahead. Don't you agree?" She asks me.

"Yeah, well I know that," I say irritably. "I know why it's necessary. But nowhere is it written that I have to like it."

"Responsibility is not always pleasant," Cheerilee agrees, seemingly taking everything I say in stride. Part of me wants to see how much she can take before she finally snaps at me. The other part remembers that she doesn't have to teach me anything.

"Now you sound like my mother," I remark bitterly, earning another laugh from Cheerilee. "She was all about responsibility."

"I'll take that as a compliment. After all, part of my job is compounding the lessons every foal learns from their parents. I want the schoolhouse to feel like another home for them," Cheerilee expresses with an earnest expression. I turn and look at her in surprise. That's...not something you usually hear from teachers.

"I'd always assumed you were doing this because you were getting paid," I tell her flat out. "All of the human teachers I've ever had to deal with never really cared about me."

"That's just terrible!" Cheerilee exclaims, horrified. "If I could, I wouldn't even take money for doing this job. No, any teacher worthy of the title should care about the students they teach."

"Yes, that's what optimists would have you believe," I retort. "But if you don't teach for money, then why do you?"

"Why? Because I enjoy it. It's a real treat to work with these talented young foals. Every day I see them getting older and smarter, and it makes me happy to know that I had a part in it," Cheerilee answers readily, happy to explain. "I love them all, and it's my life's goal to see them blossom into happy and productive members of society. That's what my cutie mark means."

Cheerilee proceeds to angle her flank at me, so that I can see the image of three smiling flowers imprinted there. Would you look at that. Symbolic butt tattoos. What next? "What about you, Seth? What do you enjoy doing?"

"You mean, like what job I want to do?" I ask curiously, not sure if I'd even answer if that was the case. Cheerilee nods. Fucking, I'm not going to tell you...oh what the hell. It's just a simple detail anyway. Nothing worth getting all tight-lipped about. "Well, I wanted to go into the area of computers..."

"Oh? That might be difficult. There's not much market for computers, when we have magic," Cheerilee reveals. I freeze.

"Actually, I'm lying," I say suddenly, causing Cheerilee to look at me oddly. "I hate computers. I've always hated them. I was studying them because I could easily earn money by doing so."

"Oh? That's not right. Having a successful job isn't really about the money," Cheerilee advises me. And you know what? She's right. I know what I want to do. What I've always wanted to do, but couldn't, because I was told I would never make any money that way.

"I want to be a musician," I admit. I've always had more fun playing or listening to music than I had coding. Fuck coding.

"That's a wonderful ambition, especially here in Ponyville. There's a lot of musicians here you can talk to," Cheerilee praises me.

"Really? Like who?"

"To start, you have Lyra Heartstrings. She's very talented with the lyre. There's also Applejack. She's been known to play a banjo and sing when the fancy takes her," Cheerilee lists. Oh god, Applejack with a banjo. Can she get any more stereotypical? "Young Sweetie Belle is also an amazing singer, though I don't think she's realized it yet. Pinkie loves to sing as well. There's no shortage of good musicians, if you keep your eyes open."

"Right...except most of the ones you just listed are crazy. Lyra? She's nuts," I retort. "Pinkie? Dear god, keep her away from me."

"Lyra does take some getting used to, I suppose. But you don't like Pinkie? She's a delightful mare, once you get to know her," Cheerilee says, a little shocked.

"Delightful? She's just loud. Too much energy, and she won't...shut...up," I complain. Cheerilee looks a little saddened by my words, but she nods anyway.

"You're in the minority with that opinion, but I suppose not everypony can like her," she tells me in an understanding manner.

"Right...anyway. I'm leaving now. I have a lot more to do today," I declare, tiring of this conversation. Cheerilee nods and opens the door for me.

"You and me both. It was a pleasure talking to you, Seth!" she responds. I wave my hand wordlessly, and then I leave the schoolhouse.

Okay, next thing on my list is to go home and get changed, and then gather all the stuff Fluttershy needs.

---

Okay, let's see. She needs...a lot of carrots apparently. Definitely some salad, a few more menial animal care things, and some groceries for herself.

Anyway, I'm standing in the square right now, where the market stalls are up and selling their wares loudly. I'm dressed back in my sweaty Rarity-themed clothes in preparation for training, because I can already tell it's going to be rough. It is training after all.

Carrots are easy. I can get those with a quick stop by Carrot Top's stall. The rest I can probably find by asking Carrot Top. She's the only one I've spoken to here more than once, so she's the only one I'm going to ask for directions. Now that I think about it, I should probably find out where Fluttershy even lives.

Right then. To Golden Harvest.

---

About half an hour later, I'm carrying bags filled with everything I need for Fluttershy. I also know where her place is. Apparently she lives close to the outskirts of town, near the Everfree. So basically, on the way to the clearing where Rose should be waiting for me.

Shit, all of this is pretty heavy. But there's no way in hell I'm taking two trips. Especially not since I paid for all this stuff myself. I sure hope Fluttershy is going to reimburse me for that. She better, or I might get angry.

After accosting another random pony on my way there, I find myself standing in front of Fluttershy's house. And while I know I've passed here once or twice before, I've never really looked at it. It's a beautiful house.

By that, I mean there's a small running stream that passes in front of it, which I can cross by way of a grassy bridge. The entire house itself looks like it was built in a tree, in that the roof is made of leaves, and several larger trees surround the house itself.

There's also animals fucking everywhere. There's countless birdhouses all over the place: in branches, nailed to trees, on the house itself, on the damn chimney...hell, there's even a hole carved into a tree where an owl is resting. Rabbits, squirrels, and other small creatures are all over the place, seemingly having no fear of the building nearby. As I approach, they scatter, running closer to the house, as if they believe it offers them safe haven. Though why they think that, I have no idea.

When I reach the front door, I give it a few good knocks and wait. It isn't long before the door opens to reveal the very timid pegasus to which I'm come to deliver all this shit. "Oh...hello..." Fluttershy says extremely softly, to the point where I can barely hear her. "Thank you...for getting all this for me, I mean. You can just leave it here and I'll..."

"Yeah no. Get out of the way," I grunt, tired of standing here. Fluttershy yelps and skitters out of the way as I force my way into her house with the groceries. And it smells like a damn garden in here.

Fluttershy's house is actually pretty homely inside. There's a couch by a window, a few bookshelves built into the wall (some of which have titles that I can actually read). There's a staircase a few paces in front of me, but I don't see any sign of a kitchen. "Wait...you don't have to..." Fluttershy tries again.

"Where's your kitchen?" I demand, cutting her off. She shuts her mouth and points mutely at a doorway on the far end of the room. Okay good. I'm just ready to set all this shit down and get moving. I can't tire myself out too much before going to meet Rose.

Fluttershy follows me quietly as I move into her kitchen. There's also animals fucking everywhere inside her house as well. It's like, getting on my nerves how they all skitter underfoot. I'm lucky I don't trip over any of them.

There. Upon finding a table, I dump all of her groceries on top of it, and then turn around to face her. "Seriously. I'm not just going to dump all of this shit onto the ground in front of your house. That's ridiculous. That's how shit gets lost," I admonish her. Fluttershy blushes gently and looks down at the floor.

"Oh. Sorry. I just didn't want to put you to any trouble," she confesses apologetically. Great, and now the apologies start.

"Why the hell not? You're paying for my trouble, so it doesn't really matter," I question her incredulously. That's like a professor telling you they don't want to burden you, and then giving you homework.

"I suppose," Fluttershy responds quietly, shuffling her hooves on the floor in embarrassment. You know, as irritating as Fluttershy is, she...rather puts Apple Bloom to shame with her innate cuteness. And I did not just think that. These ponies are ruining me, I swear.

"So..." I say awkwardly, noticing how quiet it just got between us. "I take it you like animals."

"Oh! Yes, I love them," Fluttershy suddenly gets a lot more animated at that question. On the floor near her, a squirrel and a little white rabbit approaches her expectantly. Fluttershy gathers them up with her hooves and hugs them close to her chest. "They're my babies."

I raise an eyebrow at that display. What's funny is that the white rabbit looks none too happy at being hugged, as its trying to wriggle away. "Right then. I can't stay for much longer. Can you reimburse me for the purchases?"

"Oh! Sorry, I almost forgot," Fluttershy apologizes again. She puts down the animals and moves over to a dresser, from which she produces a small bag of bits. She hoofs it to me. "There's the money for the groceries."

"Thank you. And my payment for the work?" I say impatiently. Fluttershy gulps and nods, producing the bits and passing them to me next. When I take them, I notice something odd. "There's seven bits here. You said you'd only pay me five."

Fluttershy jumps and looks guilty, as if she was hoping I wouldn't notice. Bitch, I notice everything. "Yes, but you were really nice and carried them inside for me. I wanted to pay you extra," she admits sheepishly.

"Yeah no," I snap, placing the two extra bits down on the table. I slide them over to her. Fluttershy looks surprised by that. To my shock, she pushes the two bits back to me.

"Please take them. You didn't have to do anything more than just bring them to me," Fluttershy insists shyly. I give her a deadpan expression.

"It wasn't that much work, sheesh! There's no way that's worth two bits extra," I retort stubbornly, pushing them back to her. She's not that assertive, so she shouldn't give me any more tr...wait, why the fuck is she pushing them back!?

"Please..." Fluttershy says one last time, gazing at me from behind her mane. Fucking...for as shy as she acts, she's as stubborn as I am. I can feel my will to resist slipping, especially with that fucking diabetes-inducing voice she's got.

"Goddammit...fine. But I don't like being paid more than I earned," I grunt irritably, taking the bits and putting them with the rest.

"You earned every bit," Fluttershy assures me, a small smile forming. Fucking, I'm done. I turn around in silence and move towards to door. I've got to head to training now. "Oh, are you leaving now?"

"Yeah," I reply simply.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for some tea?" Fluttershy offers. I almost stop. Tea sounds tempting...but I don't have time.

"Sorry. I don't have the time," I tell her honestly. She nods understandingly, though there's a hint of disappointment there. "I'll see you later."

"Okay. I'll see you later tonight then," Fluttershy calls after me. All right, now to...hold on, what? Why is she going to see me later tonight?

I guess she made a mistake. I have no plans to see her tonight. Making sure to step over all the scurrying animals, I leave Fluttershy's house and shut the door behind me. Okay, now it's time to go meet the pony that sounds like she swallowed a dictionary.

Rose said she would meet me outside of town, in this general direction, so we don't harm the town. Whatever that means. She also said she would help me develop my individual techniques. I wonder if that means she'll help me remember how to do all the dashing, flying, and gun shooting. You know, all the stuff that I never learned how to do, yet did it anyway while the magic was in control.

It's not long before I'm out of Ponyville entirely, as Fluttershy lives very close to the edge. Just as a I mount a large hill, I spot Rose standing a little ways out, closer to the forest. That's...pretty far away. Sheesh, I have a bad feeling about this.

It takes me a few minutes to traverse the empty plains all the way over to Rose, who looks up at my approach. "Ah, there you are. I believe it would be best if we began immediately," she expresses, as stiffly as ever.

"Right...you still haven't explained what we're actually going to be doing. Or why it needs to be so far out here," I point out, slowing to a stop just in front of her.

"I have, but if you'd like, I can repeat myself," Rose answers, seemingly slightly irritated. Really, is she going to be like this the whole time? Because that sounded condescending, and that doesn't sit well with me at all.

"Actually, you didn't. You said you'd help with my individual techniques, and that you didn't want to harm the town. Nowhere in there did you actually outline what we're going to be doing, or why you think the town might be harmed," I correct her, crossing my arms. Fucking wonderful. We haven't even started, yet I'm already annoyed with her. Seems like the feeling is mutual, as well.

"If you wanted specifics, then your question should have reflected as such," Rose admonishes me. Oh my god, everything she says just pisses me off more.

"You know, I don't even see why I have to work with you anyway," I snap, my anger rising. Rose's eyes narrow.

"I am here to help you develop your individual..." she begins.

"I know what you said, dumb-ass! Contrary to what you seem to think, I'm not an idiot, so I'd appreciate it if you quit treating me like one!" I hate this bitch. Seriously, just because she's some big shot in the army, she thinks she can talk down to me. Spitfire and Shining Armor are higher than you and they're ten times more tolerable.

"Oh? Do forgive my mistake. It's difficult to tell, when most of what you say would sound better coming from a spoiled foal," Rose growls at me. She did not just...okay, I'm fucking done.

"You know what, I'm fucking done. Fuck you, and fuck your training," I curse, losing my temper. I turn around and start to storm away. Why did she even come back with us anyway, if all she's going to do is insult me.

"I will not permit you to skip out on the duty that Princess Celestia has assigned you," Rose snaps, teleporting in front of me in a burst of cherry blossoms. I stop just before I would have run into her.

"Celestia didn't assign me anything. I'm not a pony, so neither you or some princess has any authority over me," I tell her angrily. "I'm doing this because I want to. So you can stop treating me like one of your worthless subordinates."

"Do not insult the brave mares and stallions that put their lives on the line for Equestria! They've worked hard to earn their place, while all you had to do was exist!" Rose shoots right back at me, bristling with fury.

"Oh please. You and your entire regiment or whatever are nothing. It's laughable how Celestia thinks ponies as weak as you can train me," I counter. Rose looks like she's about to yell something back, but then she forces herself to relax by taking a few deep breaths.

"Very well. If that's the way you think," Rose says softly, running a hoof through her mane. "Shall we forgo the initial diagnostic exercises, and have a match instead?"

"Oh, so you want me to fight you now?" I ask incredulously. As much as I'd relish the chance to beat some respect into this bitch, I can't help but feel a little wary.

"What's the harm? Surely if I'm as weak as you say I am, then it shouldn't be much of a challenge for you at all," Rose replies, her expression unreadable. I stare at her with a raised eyebrow. I feel like she's trying to taunt me into the fight now.

You know what? I'm too angry to care. I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't forget. "All right then," I say softly, clenching my fists. "I'm going to show you just how strong I already am."

Rose takes a few steps back, such that there's several meters between us. "I look forward to it," Rose says with a devious smile. Hm, she must be planning something. "We shall begin whenever you feel ready."

That smile of hers is pissing me off. I loosen my stance a bit, and lower my fists to both sides. I shut my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. This'll make the third time that I've used this power in a fight. The difference this time is that I'm in control, and I don't have any of my techniques. I still have access to all of my power, however. If I keep in mind Shining Armor's training, I should be able to defend from her attacks and crush her defense, no matter what techniques she uses.

I take off my rifle, since I don't know how to use it anyway, and set it aside. Then, I tap into my power, and darkness explodes from around me, cracking the ground. I open my eyes and find my vision green once more. Rose's eyes widen slightly, as this is the first time she's seen my magic with her own eyes. That's right. I bet you're realizing that you picked a fight you can't win.

I can't do that dashing trick again, so the first thing I do is break into a run, charging at Rose with my fist at the ready. If I can get close enough, I'm going to hit her right in the face.

Rose watches calmly as I approach. She lowers her head to aim her horn at me. Oh shit, she's about to use her own magic. Okay, if I just...whew, that was close. I had just barely dodged a beam of pink magic that Rose had fired from her horn.

She sends more of those beams at me, which are relatively easy to dodge, but they're slowing my approach. Another thing I notice is that her horn doesn't stop glowing, even when she's not firing magic at me. That's odd...but whatever.

Just before I get close enough to strike her, a large pink rune forms on the ground beneath me. "What the fuck?" I say, confused. Rose's smile widens, and then multiple pink orbs the size of my head form all around me, enclosing me in a tight circle of them. The second after they form, they start to converge on me. "Oh shit."

Thinking fast, I focus my magic on my hands and use them to propel my body up and over the orbs, just as they meet where I'd been standing. Once they meet, they explode with a bright pink light, sending waves of magic and cherry blossoms in all directions.

Fuck that was too close. I don't know when she had time to set that rune up, but that could have really hurt if it had hit me.

"Ah!" I yell, when a beam of magic shoots through the explosion and strikes my shoulder. That hurts like a bitch! There's now a hole in my shirt where I've been hit, and my skin is smoking slightly. I didn't use my magic to defend myself because I didn't know she would...oh shit, here come more beams.

While I'm dodging, I remove my shirt and toss it aside. "Fucking magic, quit ruining my shirts!" I complain. At least by removing my shirt now, I can keep Rarity from having a conniption when she sees what I keep doing to her clothes.

The explosion finally dissipates, allowing me to see Rose again. To my horror, she's prepared three more orbs, bigger than the last set. The moment her eyes find me, all three orbs shoot at me at once, the outer two circling around to hit me from either side.

I do my best to put some distance between me and those orbs, but they're tracking me. Which means there's only one way to get rid of them. Just before they hit me, I once again focus magic into my hands and propel myself away from the point of impact. The orbs try to correct their course, but they're too late, so they hit the ground and explode.

I think I'm home free, but just before I hit the ground, I see another beam shooting at me. Shit, and I'm airborne, so I can't dodge it. With that figured out, I focus my magic in my chest, just as the beam hits me.

Thanks to my defense, it doesn't hurt nearly as much, but it does knock me on my ass from the momentum. I get up and stare at Rose in annoyance, and a little bit of respect. Shit, she's got me totally on the defensive. Unless I can get close enough, I'm never going to hit her.

She's probably got those runes set up all around her as well. Which means...hm. A plan starts to form in my head.

I start running at her again, which causes her to raise an eyebrow at what she deems is a rash action. Rose lowers her head and fires more of those beams at her, but what she doesn't know is that my magic is focused in my hands.

When the first beam nears me, I reach forward and slap it away entirely, the magic in my hands proving stronger than the magic in the beam. I do the same for the other beams heading my way, to the point where Rose's eyes widens in shock.

As I expected, a rune forms beneath me just before I get in range of her. But this time, I remember where each of the orbs are going to appear. As the orbs form and start to converge, I hurl myself through a tiny gap between two of them. It was a good idea, but the two orbs brush up against me and burn the front and back of my torso. They're mild burns because I defended, but it still hurts.

Rose sees me closing in on her, so she fires more of those beams at me, which I easily deflect. Finally, I've reached her, and I swiftly bring my fist forward in an attempt to hit her right on the head.

Suddenly she's not there anymore. Wait what the fuck? Where did she go? I wheel around rapidly, only to end up on the receiving end of a hard buck heading towards my face.

With a grunt, I have just enough time to duck underneath it. I have a split second to act. I need to use it. I turn over and use my hands to propel my two feet into Rose's stomach. As my magic had been focused in my feet, it hits her hard, to the point where I can hear her coughing and wheezing as the wind leaves her body.

Rose teleports back onto the ground just in front of me., and I can swear I see respect in her eyes. I immediately swing a punch at her face. She moves her head to one side, avoiding it easily. I follow up that attack with more punches, but she's like water. She swerves around each of my attacks like smoke, before finally levering her right hoof into my chin and teleporting back a few feet.

Shit, I lost my advantage. Her physical attack didn't really hurt compared to her magical ones, so up close is the best place to engage her. Except now she's at range again.

I start to rush her again, because I think I've got her tricks mostly figured out. Rose seems like one of those fighters that tries hard to keep her opponents at range, where she can finish them off. She's stopped firing those beams since she knows they won't do shit to me, but since her horn is still glowing, I assume she's setting up more traps.

Oh hell, it's doing more than just glowing. An aura erupts from the ground around Rose's hooves, surrounding her in an ethereal pink flame. An orb of magic forms at the tip of her horn. Instead of throwing it at me, however, she slams it into the ground, and a massive rune forms, to where it encompasses the both of us.

Shit. I have no idea what this rune is going to do, but it can't be good. I have two choices. I can try to leave the rune as fast as I can, or I can attempt to hit her and hope that cancels out the effect.

I ultimately attempt to leave the rune, but I don't take more than a few strides before something starts pulling me back in. What the fuck?

Turning my head, I notice with shock that there's a large black orb floating in the middle of the rune, just a few feet in front of Rose. It's pulling everything nearby to it: dirt, rocks, bits of wood, and now me. At first I think it's sucking everything in, but a closer look shows me that all of the attracted objects are halted in place the moment they touch the orb.

Too bad though, I can resist this pull. Or so I think. The pull intensifies a few seconds later and yanks me right off my feet. "Shit!" I yell, flying back towards the orb. The moment my body hits the orb, a deep chill sinks into me, and suddenly I find myself completely unable to move.

Rose's horn lights up again, and then a massive hammer forms in the air above me. Not a real hammer, but instead a pink, transparent one that seems to be made from her magic. I realize with a start what Rose is going to do.

"Hyah!" Rose exerts, and then the hammer comes flying down. Without any other options, I cross my arms above my head and focus my magic just before impact.

When the hammer hits, the ground cracks beneath me from the impact. My arms bruise, but the magic there keeps them from being hurt too badly. Of course, all of that becomes moot when the hammer fucking explodes, surrounding me in scalding pink magic, along with a smattering of cherry blossoms.

I'm forced to divert my magic to my entire body, which as Shining Armor told me, isn't as effective. It's the only option I have though. The magic singes and burns my skin, but I can tell that it's nowhere near what Rose is capable of. She hasn't been trying to really hurt me this whole time.

When the magic clears, Rose seems visibly surprised to see me still standing. Once again she looks at me with respect. She starts to power up again, but this time I stop her by holding up my hand.

"All right. That's enough," I tell her. I hate that I have to do this, but if this keeps going, one of us might actually hurt the other. "You've made your point."

Rose says nothing at first. However, she does power down, her aura dissipating to nothing and the glow on her horn fading away. "You're pretty good," is the first thing Rose says. That causes my ego to swell, but I'm still pissed at her for the things she said before we started fighting. Only now, I respect that she is a match for me. Maybe more than a match. "For someone who's only using brute force."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shoot back, hoping she wasn't about to start insulting me again.

"Exactly what I said. You're not using any refined techniques. You are simply manipulating the currents of raw magic through your body to increase your strength and defense," Rose explains, sitting down on her haunches. "While viable against weaker opponents, against one with techniques of their own, it may be difficult to deal any real damage...though I'll admit, you're smarter than I gave you credit for. I didn't expect you to land a hit on me."

"Nor did I expect your fancy techniques to keep me at bay so well. I barely got close, and when I did, it was like trying to catch smoke," I complain, though what she's saying makes sense. When I was insane, I'd been so much stronger because I had all of those techniques. Without them, I'm only mediocre, I suppose. I got too confident.

"Thank you. That came from a great deal of training from Captain Blades," Rose reveals with a slight chuckle. The two of us look at each other with the respect that could only be gained by fighting with one another. "Do you agree to submit to training now?"

"Only if you phrase that question without using the word 'submit,'" I retort, since I hate what that word means.

"Ugh. Would you like to train now, your highness?" Rose returns, sarcasm evident in her voice. Holy shit, you mean there's actually a personality underneath all those fancy words? "You're impossible."

"And you're condescending as hell," I say, though at this point, most of my anger has passed. Say what you will, but a fight like that tends to relieve a lot of stress. "But yes, let's get started. Thanks for knocking down my ego a bit...with a hammer."

Rose laughed at my admittedly dumb joke, and then she motioned for me to sit down. "Now then, the first thing we'll start with is meditation..."

---

Author's Note:

D-D-D-Double update! Holy shit, this guy came out with a chapter the next day!? Yeah, I'm surprised at myself as well. I have done nothing but write since I got back from Bronycon. I mean, come on, being in constant contact with ponies for three whole days? There's no way I could have been inspired from that.

Okay, I'm done being sarcastic. First off, the next fight scene in the fic! The only difference here is that it had less riding on it than the other two. It was just a match between the two of them; for Seth to prove to Rose that he wasn't just a spoiled brat with no skills of which to speak of, and for Rose to prove to Seth that she's stronger than he gives her credit for. To clarify, Seth did not win or lose. The fight did not have a conclusion, and this was intentional.

Now then. I'm thinking about one more chapter before I start the real focus of this arc. Maybe two. Either way, the wait isn't going to be long. I have about five days before I go back to college, and I plan to make the most of them.

As always, leave a comment and tell me what you think!

So I still don't like Rose that much, but if I get over myself, this training is actually somewhat enjoyable.I keep questioning why it's necessary for me to learn all of this combat stuff, but on the other hand, part of me wants to be able to use those techniques I'd shown before. It doesn't matter whether they'd be useful or not. I feel like it would be awesome just to be able to. At the very least, I'd like to know how to fly.

Basically, the first thing Rose starts me off with is meditation. And that is the hardest part for me. I'm always thinking so much, it's difficult to calm my mind the way I'm supposed to.

"Sit still," Rose commands me with a hint of amusement in her voice, just as I shift to scratch an itch on my shoulder.

"This isn't exactly something I do in my spare time," I retort, annoyed. I've been sitting cross legged like this for a while now, yet there's always an errant thought that ruins any meditative state that I'm supposed to be entering. "This is hard..."

"Of course. If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth learning," Rose says in an uppity manner. I suppose she has a point there.

"How exactly does this help me develop individual techniques?" I ask again, frustrating Rose further.

"Specifically, meditation allows you to become intimately aware of the magic within yourself. By becoming accustomed to its composition, it becomes easier to bend it to your will," Rose explains with forced patience. She probably still finds me annoying, but at least she's making an effort not to lash out at me because of it. "You won't learn your techniques by doing this alone, but it is still a necessary part of any unicorn's training. I assume this would also apply to yourself."

"Okay...and I don't suppose you have any advice other than 'clear your mind' and 'get on my level?'" I respond, teasing her slightly.

"I have already given you all the advice I can. The rest is up to you," Rose tells me, ignoring my snipe at her superior attitude.

"Of course it is," I groan. Oh well. Talking any further will just make this last longer.

So needless to say, our conversation dies off there, and once more I attempt to get into this meditative state Rose described. She said that the only thing I should be able to feel is the flow of magic through my body.

It takes about a half hour of constant silence before I make any kind of progress. It's very subtle; the only thing that tips me off is that the sounds of the world around me slightly fade. My eyelids become heavy and immobile, and I feel like I'm falling into a deep sleep, except my consciousness is still fully alert.

Holy shit, is that what my magic feels like? It's difficult to describe, because it's a mental sensation, but I'll do my best. It feels like there's a chaotic rushing river surging through my veins. I can't explain it, but it feels...dark. Like, evil. Almost foreign. As if I needed another reason to be afraid of this magic. It's almost as if another entity is flowing around inside of me, waiting for the slightest sign of weakness before taking over again.

I can't help but feel a little fear. I mean, I've always been scared of my magic, but to actually feel it like this is terrifying. I can at last feel what it's like to have an insane amount of power surging through your body, only barely under your control.

Rose is right. I can see how this would help me use my techniques. There's no way I can keep my mind calm enough to use them if my magic scares me this much. I think I'll start taking this a little seriously.

---

After emerging from my meditation, Rose gets me started on actually training this time. By that, I mean she has me unleash my power and get accustomed to controlling it quickly, like what would be necessary during a real battle.

There are several other exercises that she gives me to complete, all of which involve me using magic to complete various feats, such as jumping higher, or dodging quickly. Stuff like that. It seems rather basic right now, but that's probably because this is our first training session. Things will no doubt get more difficult the more we train.

All of this lasts until the sun dips below the horizon, and both Rose and I are hungry.

---

"All right. That's enough for now," Rose says, looking at me with a satisfied expression. "Well done. We've covered more than I expected today."

"Hooray. I sat around for an hour, and then jumped around like a chicken with its head cut off," I reply unenthusiastically. Rose looks down and sighs at my attitude, which she's been doing a lot of lately.

"Take some pride in your work," she chastises me. I just give a shrug in a response. Whatever. It's not like any of this is really worth anything. As long as I don't go insane, that's enough for me.

"Whatever. So we're done now? I can go eat?" I ask hopefully. Using all of this magic and energy has me starving. I think some late night pancakes sounds good.

"Yes, you may eat now," Rose responds wryly. "Though I must admit, I am feeling a tad peckish, myself."

Peckish. Who fucking says that anyway? This pony apparently does. Friggin upper class ponies. "Good. I'm gonna go then," I say, and then abruptly turn around and start walking, suppressing my magic as I do so. Rose starts to follow me, much to my annoyance. "Why are you following me? Can't you just teleport to wherever you're going?"

"Not necessarily. I can only teleport to a place I can see. As I do not yet know what establishment I wish to visit, teleporting would be meaningless," Rose explains.

"That doesn't explain anything. So what if you're limited by sight? Can't you just chain teleport until you reach where you're going?"

"I just said I don't know where I'm going," Rose points out.

"But you can at least teleport back to town, right?" I press.

"You're just trying to get rid of me, aren't you?" Rose huffs.

"Oh gee, what would have given you that idea?" I respond in a mocking imitation of her own fancy style of speaking. Rose glares at me, which I find to be funny as hell.

What's ironic about all of this is that while we were arguing about teleporting and shit, we end up walking into town together. So the whole point becomes moot anyway.

When we approach the nearest eatery, Rose walks up to the door and tries it, only to find it locked. "That's odd. It's not past closing hours yet," she observes. She notices a scrap of paper pinned to the door, which she proceeds to rip off with her magic and reads. "Closed? That's ridiculous."

"Oh no, how dare they not be open for the great and illustrious Rose?" I mock her again. She turns with a frustrated huff to glare at me.

"Are you just going to mock me this whole time?" she demands.

"I'm thinking about it," I respond impertinently.

"Ugh."

As we walk through the streets, I notice something strange. The entire place is surprisingly empty for this time of day. It's still the evening, after all. Of course, that only means one thing. It means Rose is in for a surprise.

But...there has to be some planning here. Pinkie had to know that we would be hungry after training. Which means...that this next restaurant that Rose and I are approaching now is also...

"How is this one closed as well? Surely there's at least one eatery open in town," Rose demands, looking affronted. I see. So if I had to guess, all of the restaurants are closed in town so that Rose would only have one place to go.

"Rose, where are you staying?" I ask curiously, still trying to figure all of this out. Rose looks confused at the random question.

"I will be staying at Sugarcube Corner, as negotiated not long after our arrival in Ponyville," Rose answers, perplexed. "Why do you ask?"

Oh, now that's just too easy. "Let's just head back there. We can get something to eat from there," I suggest casually, fully aware of what's to happen if we go there. Rose ponders that for a few moments before sighing.

"Very well. It's not what I would have liked, but it'll do," Rose says in disappointment. "Rest assured, the mayor will be hearing about the incompetence of their restaurants."

"Yeah, yeah. The injustice and all that," I reply uncaringly, having already changed my course for Sugarcube. This should be fun. It's been a while since the last Pinkie party I've been in. I could use the sweets. And the stress relief. But mostly the sweets.

No doubt the entire town will be there too. They love these parties far more than they should. So I can expect to see Vinyl and Rainbow there. And...oh, well that's what Fluttershy must have meant by "I'll see you later tonight." Thanks for tipping me off, I suppose.

Because everypony is chilling in Sugarcube, the trip there is uneventful. Soon, we're standing on the doorstep. The windows are closed and the lights are out, just as I expected. And because Rose is dense as fuck, the first thing she does is complain. "Is this some kind of joke? Why am I the first one to return home? Is there some wild gathering away from town that I wasn't informed about?" she exclaims irritably. She tries the door with her magic, and it easily opens. Of course, she continues to rant, even as she steps inside. "I'll see to it that Princess Celestia hears how I've been treate..."

"SURPRISE!" There is is. The lights flicker on to reveal practically every single fucking pony in town, with Pinkie standing in front, looking as pleased with herself as always.

"What in blazes!?" Rose cuts off in the middle of her rant as she jumps in shock, her eyes wide. Pinkie immediately dashes to just in front of her and starts bouncing in place.

"Hi Rosie! Were you surprised? You look surprised," Pinkie exclaims. Rose watches her with a dumbfounded expression, speechless. "Welcome to Ponyville! As I promised, here's your party! Do you like it!?"

"Seth," Rose begins, seemingly ignoring Pinkie to look at me. I'm just standing in the doorway with a smug expression and my arms crossed.

"What?" I reply.

"Is this the..."

"Yes."

Rose slowly places her head in both of her hooves. "Oh, ponyfeathers."

"Are you ready to party, Rosie!?" Pinkie asks, overly excited as usual, even as I laugh into my hand because of that dumb pony expletive Rose used. That's totally unlike her.

Rose lets out a long sigh, before at last lifting her head and waggling a hoof. "Proceed, if you must," she says in a resigned manner.

"That sounds like a 'yes' to me!" Vinyl calls out from the raised area, which is now occupied by her equipment. Okay, I'm kinda pissed that I didn't get to help with that for money, but whatever. I'm hungry, and there's sweets everywhere. "Let's rock!"

Vinyl puts the needle to the tables, and the music starts, sounding somewhat different than before. I guess she's putting those new mixing techniques to good use. With that, all of the ponies in the room break apart and start mingling with one another. Several of them approach Rose to introduce themselves. Rose treats them all just as stiffly as she does everyone else. I wonder if that's a defense mechanism of sorts. Oh whatever.

I pass by Fluttershy on my way to the food. She retreats timidly from me, but she does give me a small wave. And just before I get to the food table, I run into Lyra with a giant fucking smile on her face that makes me want to bash my head open on that wall over there. Why. Why does this keep happening to me.

---

I walk into my room with a heavy sigh, covered in sweat. This has been one hell of a day, and I'm tired.

That party lasted well past midnight. Poor Rose kept trying to get out of it the whole time, but every time she tried to walk upstairs, Pinkie or some other pony would intercept her and pull her back to the festivities. I could have helped. I didn't.

No, after meeting Lyra, I essentially got pulled to the dance floor, where I met up with Rainbow and we had some fun chilling out there. Thankfully Rainbow rescued me from Lyra, by inserting herself into my dance.

Anyway, I'm stuffed full of cake and other sweets. It's a good thing I eat so healthy most of the time, because I eat sweets quite a lot here.

After tossing my clothes in all directions, I take a quick shower, and then collapse on the bed. Okay, what am I doing tomorrow? I'm spending some time on the farm, and then doing magic shit with Twilight. It'll be an exhausting day, but it shouldn't be particularly stressful.

Well, this is my life now, I guess. I'm technically still just getting up, going to work, and coming home. I have Rainbow and Apple Bloom to spend time with if I get some time to myself, but what I really need is a project of some kind.

I don't think I had a project or goal to go for back in my time though. I think all I cared about was hanging with Amaryllis, or my brother. Because the latter was awesome, the former I was in love with.

Wow, I'm thinking too much. Funny how being transported three thousand or so years into the future can change how you look at life. I'm going to sleep now.

---

This time, I'm finally allowed to wake up on my own. According to the clock, it's just before eight. Good. I have enough time to eat and get dressed before heading out to Applejack's farm. Though what she's going to have me do in this snowy weather is beyond me.

Ugh. I still don't know how to do laundry. I'll take care of that after my lessons with Twilight. For now, I'll just wear my Rarity-themed clothes again. They're slimy, but basically all I'm doing is physical work, so I don't think it matters.

Oh, speaking of work. I reach into the pockets of the clothes I wore in Canterlot and pull out the hairband that Apple Bloom got for me. I don't look very good wearing it, but at least it'll keep my sweaty hair out of my eyes when I'm working.

Once I'm dressed and ready, I walk down stairs to see no sign of Vinyl. That makes sense, I guess. She's probably still asleep, because she was up later than I was last night. Unfortunately, that means she's not making me breakfast.

Whatever. I walk into the kitchen and throw open the refrigerator door. Let's see, there has to be something edible in here that I can make. Oh, sweet, there's three eggs in here. I remember how to make scrambled eggs, so I'll get started on some of those. Generally I only use two eggs, but since you can't really do a thing with one egg, I take all three.

I have to do a bit of rummaging about to find a bowl that will work. Once I do, I take it as well as a fork from one of the drawers. I take a quick moment to put on my hairband (so none of my hairs falls into the bowl) and wash my hands.

I crack the first egg on the side of the bowl and pour the yolk in. Okay, that was easy enough. Hopefully I don't fuck this up. I take the second egg and...oh, there goes a bit of the eggshell. Goddammit. "Well, I fucked that up," I remark. At least my hands are clean. Grimacing a bit, I pick out the piece of shell and toss it into the sink with the rest of the eggshells.

Once all three egg yolks are in the bowl, it's a simple matter to beat them with the fork and then pour the resulting mixture into a pan on the stove, after greasing said pan with a stick of butter that I found in the refrigerator. Speaking of the stove, I actually don't know how to work it.

And it's not that hard to figure out. There's one of those orbs set into the front of each burner. Which means this thing uses magic to run. Now that would be a problem if I didn't have some myself. I tap the orb corresponding to the burner the pan is on, and channel some magic into it. Sure enough, the burner lights up and starts cooking my eggs. This is fucking surreal as hell. Touch to ignite. Imagine if my shitty ass burner in my college dorm worked like that. Instead, I had to turn the dial and hold it until the piece of shit lighter actually worked.

Excellent. I won't need to worry about that for a few seconds. I take a clean rag and scrub the bowl that I'd just used until it's clean, before I put it back where I found it. I doubt Vinyl would appreciate me leaving her a mess.

Just as I pick up the spatula to scramble the eggs, I hear Vinyl thudding her way downstairs. She soon joins me in the kitchen, but I can tell she's not really awake yet. Mostly because she looks like she's being held upright by a string, and her eyes are still mostly shut.

Vinyl yawns widely and obnoxiously, and then blinks a few times before she realizes what she's seeing. "Seth? Are you...cooking!?" she asks incredulously, approaching the stove and peering into the pan.

"Yeah. I took the last of your eggs, but I'll replace them," I assure her. I'm not pleased that she woke up before I finished.

"I don't care about that, but...you? Cooking?" Vinyl repeats, astonished. She proceeds to pinch herself a few times, as if to check whether or not she's dreaming.

"What about it?" I ask in irritation as I flip over the egg mixture again and again, until it starts breaking apart.

"Nothing bad, it's just...weird to see you acting...domestic," Vinyl remarks, poking my leg with a hoof.

"Oh, fuck off," I groan, wishing that I'd just waited for her to wake up and do it herself. This is what happens when I try to do something for myself. Ugh. "Seriously, I'm only doing it because I'm on a tight schedule, and I couldn't wait for you to wake your lazy ass up."

"And...it's awesome. This means I don't have to make myself breakfast. There's enough in there for me, right?" Vinyl asks, peering into the pan. "Oh yeah, that's three eggs."

Okay, apparently I'm sharing with Vinyl. I mean, I can't really say no. It's her food, after all. It just means I won't be eating as much before working. "You can have some if you want," I say with a shrug.

"Awesome!" Vinyl exclaims. She pulls a plate out of a cupboard with her magic and then sits down at the table and proceeds to watch me expectantly. Ugh again.

The eggs are ready, but I prefer them to be a bit browner before I actually turn off the heat. So in the meantime, I pull down a loaf of bread from the top of the refrigerator...only to realize that there's no toaster. Okay, I'll just have to improvise then.

I take a smaller pan from the cupboards and grease it with butter again, and then place two pieces of bread in it. Let's see if this works. I start up a separate burner, and place the pan on it. That'll take a few seconds.

Anyway, the eggs are done, so I turn off the heat. "Eggs are done. Come get however much you want," I tell Vinyl, who doesn't waste any time in bringing her plate up to the stove. As she gathers some eggs, she looks at the bread.

"What are you doing?" she asks curiously as I flip over the bread in the pan.

"Improvising. Apparently ponies don't have toasters," I answer, turning off the pan once the bread looks sufficiently toasted.

"Uh...yeah we do," Vinyl says with amusement in her voice. I turn and look at her as she reaches into a higher cupboard and pulls down whats unmistakeably a toaster, with one of those orbs set into the bottom.

I look between the toaster, and the pan that I just used. "Oh, son of a bitch!" I complain, realizing that I'd just done all that extra work for nothing, and therefore created more clean up work for me to do. Vinyl's reaction is to laugh raucously at my misfortune. "Why couldn't you have left that out on the counter, with the rest of your kitchen utensils?"

"Because I don't really use it! Still though, I can't believe you toasted your bread with a frying pan! Oh dear Celestia!" Vinyl is entirely too tickled by my oversight.

"Shut up. It worked, didn't it? Now eat your damn eggs before I shove em down your throat," I grunt in annoyance.

Still chuckling, Vinyl takes her seat back at the table, where I soon join her, with my own plate filled with eggs. The next thing I do is pull out my bag of bits. "So how much for a dozen of eggs?" I ask. Vinyl looks up at me, confused.

"Why do you need to know that?" she asks.

"Because I used your food. I want to pay you back for that," I explain impatiently. "Just fucking tell me so I can eat."

"Nah, don't worry about that, bro. It's just three eggs," Vinyl says with a dismissive wave of her hoof, much to my irritation.

"Vinyl, I won't be a freeloader. I'm going to pay you back," I snap at her. Vinyl stops, and then sets down her fork.

"No, you aren't. I won't take your money for something this simple," Vinyl expresses. Holy shit, really? You're going to give me trouble now, all of a sudden?

"Seriously? Just tell me, it's not that big of a deal," I demand. Vinyl shakes her head stubbornly.

"You're right, it's not that big of a deal. So keep your money," she insists.

"I swear to god, if you don't tell me, I'm going to just give you ten bits and be done with it."

"Why are you being so stubborn? It's just three eggs! That's literally not anything worth talking about," Vinyl snaps, actually sounding irritated. As I open my mouth to give her a piece of my mind, she continues. "You're making me food. I was probably going to get up and cook these eggs myself. So you're doing me a service. If anything, I should be paying you."

"That's totally bullshit. It's still your food. And I always pay for you to feed me," I point out, though I admit to myself that she does have a point.

"Right. It's my food, that you cooked for me. Your payment and mine cancel out. So no money needs to be exchanged!" Vinyl declares. I look at her with an incredulous expression.

"Your logic is ridiculous," I say, but I do put my bits away. She does have a point, I suppose. Even so, I did just come downstairs and cook her food without asking. I still feel like I should pay her something. I take out a single bit and push it towards her, only for her to put it right back in my bag with magic.

"No. Bad Seth," Vinyl chastises me like some kind of pet, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "Put your bits away."

"I am, sheesh. Crazy mare," I grunt. With that, the argument ends, and I start eating my eggs and toast at last.

---

After cleaning up all the dishes I left behind, I finally leave Vinyl's place, heading for Sweet Apple Acres for work. I'll get the bulk of my bits from this job, so I'm looking forward to it. Sort of. Actually, not really. If I wasn't getting paid, I wouldn't be doing this. Whatever.

As I walk, I pull out the hairband and put it on in preparation for the day ahead. It still feels and no doubt looks weird, but I'll sacrifice that for comfort. It's only temporary, after all.

When I approach Sweet Apple Acres, I notice a few things out of the ordinary. First, there's snow everywhere, but that's because it's winter. Secondly, Carrot Top is here for some reason, equipped with saddlebags filled with gardening tools. She's talking to Applejack about something that I can't make out.

Well, I can make it out now that I'm in earshot. "...might not get all of them planted by the time that storm hits," Carrot Top is saying frantically, pointing a hoof at the horizon. Storm? I didn't think that was coming for a few...holy shit.

Looking in the distance in the direction she pointed, I can see a massive storm bank coming from the direction of Canterlot. Shit, is that what Rainbow's been working on?

"Don'tchu worry 'bout a thing, Carrot Top," Applejack assures her. "We got at least another day before that monster hits us, and we got extra hands on deck this tahme."

"Hands? What are you...oh," Carrot Top begins, but then she sees me walking towards her and gulps. Ah, seems like Applejack spotted me first. "Hello, Seth. I didn't know you worked here."

"How did you not? I've worked here since the day I got to Equestria," I remark. Carrot Top winces at my tone. "Well, maybe a day after I got to Equestria."

"Yup! Seth's been helping me out fer a while now," Applejack agrees. Suddenly she does a double take, looking at my hair. "Whoa now. You look...different."

"Blame your sister. She got it for me. It makes me look like shit, but it is practical," I explain with a shrug.

"Ah didn't say it was bad. Just different. Ah actually like it," Applejack compliments me. I raise an eyebrow. How can she like this stupid...oh. It's probably because her mane and tail are also tied up like this in a manner of speaking.

"Right. Thanks, I guess. So what's Carrot Top doing here?" I ask, thrusting my thumb at the mare in question.

"She works here too, on occasion. Mostly during the winter season, when carrots are in demand," Applejack explains. "That leads me ta what yer doin' today. That storm's comin' quick, so ah want ya ta help plant all them winter crops before it gets here."

"Winter crops? That's a thing?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. I always wondered what farmers do during the winter.

"That's right," Carrot Top answers with a smile. "Carrots are actually year-round crops, but during this time of year, celery, leeks, potatoes, onions, and other such crops can grow."

"Huh. I actually didn't know that," I admit, scratching the back of my neck.

"Learn somethin' new everyday," Applejack agrees. She adjusts her hat, and then gets down to business. "All raht, we've wasted enough time. Seth, ah want ya ta go with Carrot Top. She'll direct ya from there."

"Got it," I reply simply, looking at Carrot Top. "I guess I'm working with you."

"Um...okay. Well, come with me. We have a lot of work to do," Carrot Top responds. She beckons to me with a hoof, and then the two of us head towards one of the other fields. "First thing we have to do is prepare the fields for planting. Then, we'll plant the carrot seeds first, followed by the leeks and celery. That'll likely take us all day."

"I figured as much. Whatever. Let's get started then."

---

Yeah, it does take us all day, and it's also worse than the standard work day here. For starters, it's cold as fuck, and after I get working, it feels both hot and cold, and it's just unpleasant. Secondly, I have to do everything by hand. Basically what that means is Carrot Top points me to a fucking hand plow and pretty much told me to get to work.

Yeah...hand plows. Like, seriously. You know, those things that humans don't use anymore because we have giant fucking machines to do it for us. So this is annoying as hell that I have to do it the old fashioned way.

And by god, it's the most backbreaking work I've ever done in my life. It's essentially pushing a heavy object through a surface that doesn't want to move. So I have to give it my all just to get it to move. For hours. Motherfucking ow.

That takes me forever and a goddamn day to do. Thankfully Carrot Top isn't that hard of a taskmaster. As long as I'm trying my hardest, she lets me take short breaks every now and then to rehydrate myself.

Once the plowing of the first field is done, Carrot Top and I work together to plant the seeds. First, she shows me how to plant them, since I've never planted a seed in my damn life. Then, we start from opposite sides of the first field and work our way towards one another.

That takes us another hour. But once that field is done, guess what I have to do next? Fucking plow another field. I swear to god, if this doesn't help bulk up muscles, I'll murder something.

And then we rinse and repeat. I don't feel like I need to explain any further that we just plowed and sowed, plowed and sowed for the entire fucking day.

No, if anything, I feel I should note that Carrot Top seems less afraid of me now, and is being much more friendly and talkative. Halfway through the day, she starts talking about her family and everyday life, much to my annoyance. However, I'm too busy plowing to tell her that I could really care less. You're not Rainbow; we're not friends.

"All right, you can rest now. We're finished for today," Carrot Top finally tells me as we finish planting the leek field. Oh thank god. It takes all of my willpower not to fall flat on my back from exhaustion. "You've been a great help...and I'm sorry for being so frightened of you the first time we met."

"What are you talking about?" I pant. Carrot Top flushes slightly before she answers.

"As a little filly, I grew up hearing about humans and their accomplishments. You were these mysterious, wondrous figures with terrifying powers," she relates. Oh great, I'm getting another excerpt of her life story. At this rate, she should go be a history teacher. "When I saw you at my stall, I was shocked and scared. I had no idea what you were like; I only knew what you were capable of."

"That's a good way to think about us. Some of us...or most of us...are fucking lunatics," I say, nodding in agreement. "So what changed your mind?"

"This. Interacting and working with you. You're not that different from us after all," Carrot Top answers with a smile.

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult," I grumble, unsure if I like being compared to ponies.

"A compliment of course. You're a decent and hardworking sort. Those traits will take you far in life," Carrot Top assures me approvingly. Oh sheesh, spare me.

"Whatever," is my simple response. I turn around and start to walk away. "If you're working here in two days, I'll see you later."

"Okay! Have a good evening, Seth!" Carrot Top calls after me as I leave the field. Whatever. I just want to get paid and go relax. And by relax, I mean sit on a cushion while Twilight rants at me about magic and shit.

When I walk into the living area, I catch a whiff of a rich apple aroma. Oh. Seems like somepony is cooking.

Big Mac, who is resting on his haunches next to the stairs, gives me a terse nod when he sees me walk in.

"Where's Applejack?" I ask him. Rather than using his voice, Big Mac points a massive red hoof towards the kitchen. "Thanks."

"Eeyup."

Yeah, seems like the rest of the family is in the kitchen. Apple Bloom is setting the table in preparation for dinner, while Applejack and Granny Smith are finishing the meal. "Seth!" Apple Bloom exclaims upon seeing me. She hurries and finishes setting the table before coming to see me. She gasps, and then smiles happily when she sees my hair. "You're wearing my present!"

Applejack and Granny Smith look at me now as well. I roll my eyes. Guess I'm the center of attention now. "Yeah. It does help when I'm working," I say. And suddenly there's a happy filly in my arms. Ugh...she's always acting overly affectionate. Like a cat that can talk. "Oh. Well hello there."

"Now ain't that nine shades o' adorable?" Granny Smith comments, nudging Applejack, who nods in agreement. "You come ta eat dinner with us, sonny?"

Okay, it wasn't even Applejack that asked me this time. And now they're all looking at me hopefully, especially Apple Bloom. Goddammit, I am not doing this. Oh right, I have a legitimate excuse this time.

"Not this time. I made a lot of food with Twilight two days ago that we have yet to finish," I tell them. Granny Smith nods in understanding. As for Apple Bloom, I get a little disappointed, "aww," that makes me feel a little guilty.

"Hold up, you made food with Twilight?" Applejack asks disbelievingly. "Ah thought you n' her don't get along?"

"We don't. But she's teaching me, and I was hungry. So we made food," I explain. Seconds later I realize something strange. When I first met Applejack, I probably would have said something along the lines of "I don't have to explain myself to you." But I just did explain myself to her. Ugh, this fucking world is making me soft.

"Ah okay. Well, then. Here's yer pay," Applejack replies, fishing out a jangling bag of bits from a drawer. I look inside to see twelve bits. "There's more in there cuz I stuck ya with plowin' in the snow . That's a difficult job."

"Hmph, I suppose," I mutter, seeing the logic in that. That plowing was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

"Anyhow, you have fun with Twilight now," Applejack says to me in a friendly manner. Good. After fulfilling Apple Bloom's need for physical affection, I set her down.

"I'll see you all in two days, I guess," I tell them before leaving the kitchen, and then the building entirely. The first thing I do before going any further is take off this ridiculous hairband. I'm done working, and there's no way I want to deal with the shit Twilight will give me for wearing it.

That leaves me with only one thing left to do for today. Gotta go see Twilight, and then eat the rest of that delicious pie.

---

"Hey Seth! Come on in," Twilight greets me happily, beckoning me inside with her hoof. I do so, noticing that the area is immaculately clean and set up for the lesson. God, she gets way too into this, I swear. "How was work? You look pretty tired."

"Oh gee, I look tired? I guess that comes with pushing a goddamn plow for eight hours straight," I retort irritably at Twilight's blatantly obvious comment. "Before we start, can we do food?"

"Oh, of course. We still have some of that fruit salad we made left. Not to mention the pie," Twilight says with a twinkle in her eye. She seems to have ignored my snappy comment entirely.

"Oh fuck the hell yes," I say, my mouth already watering in anticipation of the meal to come.

Needless to say, we devour the hell out of that pie. Oh yeah, we had the fruit salad first, but who cares about that? Pie is more important.

After food is over with, I take my place on one of the cushions on the floor and watch as Twilight pulls down the scroll. "How's your reading coming along?" Twilight asks as she opens one of the books on the table in front of her.

"It's coming. I haven't memorized all the symbols yet, but I can make a few basic words. You should probably keep drawing those pretty little pictures," I answer wryly. Twilight giggles a little at my wording, and then she clears her throat.

"All right then. We'll start off today's lesson by discussing the composition of mana particles, and how they blend together to form magic at its base level," Twilight begins. "Mana particles themselves are..."

I listen to her talk with a somewhat interested expression. I guess this is what I'll be dealing with for who knows how long.

I have to say, ever since I got to Equestria, I've been living a much healthier lifestyle. Daily exercise, healthy meals, you name it.

However, if given the chance, I would definitely want to go back home. This life isn't bad...but I want my old one back. I want my family. I want Amaryllis.

But thinking about that will only make me sad. I guess in the end, there's nothing I can do except carry on. That's what they would have wanted, I suppose.

---

Author's Note:

And here's another chapter! I am on a roll, and I'm not stopping here! I actually had this all written out the day after I posted the last chapter, but I went on a mini strike and decided not to post it until a certain somebody commented. Trust me, his comments are really awesome. He's like an english teacher, I swear.

Anyway. Sappiness aside. I'm happy to say that I'm done with all this exposition, and it's finally time to get the ball rolling. After this chapter, I'll be introducing a small time skip, because I doubt you all want to read him doing the same shit every day over and over. Now it's time to really show you all what Arc 4 is about!

I hope you're ready for a triple update. I'll be posting a chapter every day for the next two days. I've been writing a LOT.

She should have been here by now. Which means I'll be kept waiting for who knows how long. She probably took a fucking nap or something and forgot, which would piss me off. Ugh, if you make an arrangement, fucking keep it, and be on time. I always am.

Anyway, I'm just ranting and I haven't explained what the hell is going on. So right now, I'm sitting on a barrel in a grassy glade, waiting for Rainbow to get her little ass over here so we can have our race.

Yeah, a race. It's been a month and a half since I got back to Ponyville from Canterlot, and I've been training or working non-stop for the whole time. It's been hell, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel damn good about myself right now.

I lift my right arm, checking it over once again. I can't believe that this arm is mine. Because of all the heavy lifting I've been doing, my arms are slightly larger with noticeable muscles running through them. Well, the same could be said for the rest of my body as well. Can you believe I finally have a damn six pack? This is like, more than I could have imagined.

Then there's my hair. Because I've never let anypony come near me with a pair of scissors, my hair has grown continuously. It used to be shoulder length. Now it's starting to fall down my back. It's a pain to take care of now that it's this much longer, but I love it.

A lot has happened over the last month and a half. Everything pretty much stuck to the schedule for a while, but as soon as I learned to read and write Equestrian, I had this gap in the middle of my day to do absolutely nothing. Or I could have gone and worked extra hours at Sweet Apple Acres if I ended up having nothing to do. Which was most of the time.

One thing I did was read through the first of those human books I've been hearing so much about. They're shit. Complete and total shit. The pony who wrote them had no idea how human anatomy worked, and assumed we all ran around naked tossing fireballs at each other. The plot was kiddy and nonsensical, as it revolved around some guy with pointed limbs attempting to take away harmony from the world. In other words, a complete waste of paper, though a lot of ponies believe otherwise. Like Rainbow. She liked them at first, but after I explained how wrong they are, she now takes them with a grain of salt.

I also ended up writing to Octavia a few weeks ago, and after sending a few letters, she actually came down to Ponyville for a visit. She knew somepony named Noteworthy, who ended up being a blue stallion with a penchant for music. He actually had a piano and let us use it, provided we bought him lunch. So I had a practice session with Octavia, playing that one song we worked on last time, as well as a few others that she'd brought with her.

I've also earned quite a lot of money. I'm sitting at around 320 bits, which according to Applejack is almost enough for the down payment on a house in Ponyville. If I can gather 350 bits, I can finally move out of Vinyl's house...and then work like crazy to pay for the rest of the house over the next few months. So in three days, give or take, I'll have enough money.

To sum all this up, I feel pretty good about things, relatively speaking. Literally, as well. Being this fit as compared to before, I generally feel better. Less random ass pains, and I certainly don't get tired as much as before. Did I mention I can run for the full hour with Rainbow Dash and only get slightly winded now? Damn, I've never been this fit in my life.

Okay, I've been reflecting long enough. Where the fuck is Rainbow? Ugh. I scan the skies slightly, but there's still no sign of her. Well then. I guess I'll be reading this book after all.

I take a large book out of the satchel hanging at my side. Yeah, Rarity made this for me after I'd spent one afternoon helping her fill an insanely large order from Canterlot. And no, I wasn't doing any sewing. Just menial tasks that would make her job easier.

Anyway, this book is called Advanced Spells and Incantations, by that one kook Twilight keeps going on about. Starswirl the Bearded, I think it was. Even though most of the spells in this book are so complicated I can't even begin to fathom them, I still find it an interesting read. It's insane, the kind of things ponies have come up with. Some of this magic can do things science never could.

After a few minutes of poring through this book, I happen to hear Rainbow coming. I shut the book with a snap and place it in the satchel, as I won't be needing it any longer. Looking up, I spot Rainbow zooming towards me with a panicked expression on her face. Probably because she realized she was late and knew I'd be pissed. Which I am.

Rainbow hits the ground hard and skids slightly, showering the nearby fence with dirt. "Oh shoot, I'm so sorry. I lost track of time while practicing my tricks," she apologizes, and then she smiles, happy to see me.

"I figured as much. At least you weren't fucking sleeping," I grunt, nonetheless annoyed despite her apology. Rainbow winces, but doesn't say anything to defend herself because she knows she messed up. I probably won't stay mad at her for long. She's not perfect, but almost every time I can recall having fun in this world of technicolor ponies, she's been involved. "So when do we have to be at the glade for this picnic or whatever?"

"Not for at least an hour. Trust me, we got time," Rainbow answers me with an assured grin.

"That was never the issue. I just want make sure I get there on time. You know, that thing you can't do," I remark, unable to resist the chance to poke a little fun at her.

"Oh come on, it could have happened to anypony!" Rainbow protests, and then she starts to pout. Which looks hilarious enough to make me chuckle. "Also, did you get new clothes? Like, without sleeves this time?"

"Damn right I did. I asked Rarity to give me something simple I could train in, and she came up with this," I reply, somewhat pleased that she noticed. Yeah, I'm wearing something very simple. By that, I mean a black sleeveless shirt that clings tightly to the contours of my upper body, and a set of similarly colored casual slacks. "She wasn't happy making something with nothing but black fabric, but she understood when I explained why. Black absorbs more heat, and this is winter."

"That makes sense. I like it though. Really shows off those muscles you've got now. Nice job, by the way," Rainbow compliments me. I raise an eyebrow and look at her suspiciously. "What? It's a compliment."

"Careful. Any further and you'll start to sound like Lyra," I point out, which immediately gets Rainbow to flush in both irritation and embarrassment.

"I'm nothing like her! You take that back!" Rainbow snaps at me, mortified. Her reaction gets me to laugh. Basically, at one point, I'd told Rainbow about how Lyra always flirts with me to piss me off. Rainbow had been understandably horrified by that.

"Whatever. Just saying," I say with a shrug and a smug grin. Rainbow huffs, but she decides that's the best she's going to get out of me.

"Now, shall we do this? I've been dying to see how fast you can go," Rainbow asks, bringing the subject back to the initial purpose for our little meet up here.

"Yeah, me too. I've never really had a reason to test my limits," I agree, stretching my arms out. "This should be enlightening. So what's the start and end point?"

"We start here, of course," Rainbow responds as if it should have been obvious. She laughs at the deadpan expression I give her, and the scans the horizon, looking for a good ending place. "Those hills right there. All the way on the other side of the town. See them?"

"Those are really far away," I remark, spotting them. "I don't think I've actually been over there before."

"Make sure you don't stop to sight-see, or I'll leave you in my dust!" Rainbow taunts me, whipping her mane back self-importantly. Ugh, she's bragging again.

"Like I'm really going to," I retort. Just for once, I want to beat her and knock her ego down a few notches. "Just tell me when to start. And no cheating, or I'll kick your fucking ass."

"I wouldn't cheat! Come on, that kind of accusation is uncalled for," Rainbow responds, looking offended. I just shrug. I meant what I said; take it how you will. Suddenly, Rainbow gets a devious expression. "Say, why don't we make a bet out of this?"

"Depends on what the terms are. I'm not really one for being overly competitive," I tell her. It's true. I'm only doing this as a way to test my own limits, as I'd said before.

"Okay, get this. If I win, you have to show me all that human music on your...fun-thingy," Rainbow declares. I choke with laughter at the way she described my phone. That sounds really wrong.

"It's a phone, Rainbow," I correct her. She waves a hoof dismissively, obviously not caring what it's called. "What happens if I win?"

"Um...if you win...I'll...do whatever you want for a day," Rainbow suggests. I raise an eyebrow. It's a good thing she's my friend, because I'd could make that day a living hell for her with that kind of bet. Even so, I think I'll take this bet. If she wins, we'll have a blast listening to music. I already want to do that, but I've been putting it off because of work. If I win, I'll make her come with me for work and training tomorrow. Either way, I technically win.

"Sounds good to me. I guess start us off whenever you're ready," I finally reply. Then, I hop off of the barrel I'm sitting on an easily tap into my magic, unleashing it with a primal roar. Unlike a month ago, I immediately enter base form without having to try. And my base form is much stronger than before, to the point where darkness is licking off of me like flame, yet it's still stable and doesn't really drain me.

Rainbow hunches down into a ready stance, her wings spreading and fluttering slightly. "Are you ready? On three. One..."

"Wait, on three, or three and then go?" I interrupt with a cheeky grin.

"I said 'on three' didn't I? Try listening next time," Rainbow returns with a huff. "Now then. On three. One...two...THREE!"

The moment she says that, the race begins. Rainbow propels herself into the air with her two back legs, her wings flapping furiously. I set my arms to my side and blast off into the air like a rocket, my magic leaving a dark trail behind me. Yeah, I became able to fly a while back, as one of the first things Rose helped me learn.

Almost immediately, we're neck and neck. I'm increasing my speed steadily in an attempt to overtake her, but she seems to be doing the same thing. Damn, she's really fast.

The wind blasts into my face, causing my hair to stream out behind me and my pants to flap like crazy. It feels exhilarating, as this is the fastest I've ever flown. Hell, I haven't really flown that much since learning how.

Rainbow's mane and tail are streaming out behind her as well. She turns her head and grins, her eyes narrowed. She looks determined to beat me. That's fine. I'm just trying to see how fast I can go. With a grunt, I kick it up a notch, pushing my magic output to a higher level in an attempt to bypass Rainbow. It's not working. She's easily keeping up with me. Hell, neither of us can get a lead on the other.

Suddenly, I start to feel a strange resistance in the air. Like something is trying to hold me from going any faster. A quick glance at Rainbow shows me that she's experiencing the same thing, but it doesn't seem to be bothering her. Instead, she's speeding up more.

I do the same, but the faster I get, the more I'm being resisted. It gets to the point where it feels like I'm trying to fly through molasses. Next to me, Rainbow looks even more determined.

Finally, I can't go any further. I seem to hit an impassable, elastic barrier that completely halts my momentum, and then reverses it, sending me spiraling backwards wondering what the fuck just happened.

Rainbow...HOLY FUCK! Rainbow just keeps going, and then I have to clamp my hands to my ears as a thunderous crack echoes throughout the air. Rainbow speeds up exponentially, and a set of concentric, circular rainbows emanate outwards from where Rainbow had left me behind.

That...was a Sonic Rainboom, wasn't it? And...that resistance I was feeling was the sound barrier, wasn't it? Which means she just fucking broke the sound barrier and left me behind. Shit, well...this magic makes me extremely fast, but not supersonically so.

Well, I've lost. By a landslide. Still, it feels surreal, having come into contact with the sound barrier, even though I didn't break it. Humans aren't meant to do that without planes to protect them from the g-forces, yet I just did. Fucking magic, man.

I collect myself and start a leisurely flight over to the hill. I already know I've lost, so there's no hurry.

In fact, Rainbow actually flies back to meet up with me after reaching the end point. She has a giant fucking grin on her face, which causes me to sigh and mentally prepare for her bragging.

"Hey Seth! Did you check out my awesome Sonic Rainboom? Nopony's ever seen it that close up before," Rainbow exclaims, soaring up and and joining me in my flight.

"I still don't understand how that even works, but it was definitely trippy, that's for sure," I admit. "So I guess you win."

"Heck yeah I do. I saw the sound barrier nail you, and I knew I'd won," Rainbow proclaims proudly. She nudges me good-naturedly. "You have a while to go before you beat me."

"Thanks for rubbing it in, you dick. Just be glad I can even go flying with you," I snap back at her, not appreciating her bragging at all.

"Sorry. But yeah, it's totally awesome! You should come flying with me more often. Not like a race, but more like our runs. Only in midair," Rainbow replies casually.

"Sure, I guess. So when do you want to hear all my music?" I ask, changing the subject.

"How about tonight? I don't have anything to do," Rainbow suggests. Then she brightens up with an idea. "Hey, we'll get take out on the way home tonight and rock out while we eat."

"That actually sounds good," I admit. I'm actually starting to look forward to it. It's been so long since I've listened to any of my music. There was never any real call for it over the past month because I'm always working, training, or doing something. I don't have headphones, and carrying the phone around with the speaker to my ear isn't really conducive to multitasking. "Anyway, we should probably get over to the glade now."

"What? But it hasn't been an hour yet," Rainbow complains.

"Because I should definitely trust your sense of time, miss twenty minutes late," I shoot back at her. Hah, she really needs to stop setting me up for these jokes.

"It was one time! Come on!" Rainbow defends. "But I suppose you're right. Even if we're early, we can still do a little flying."

"And, you know, we'll also be early. Which is almost always a good thing," I tease her again. Rainbow huffs and shoves me...which sends me reeling because we're in midair and I haven't really learned how to keep a stable flight path. "Really?"

"Oops, sorry. I forgot you're new at this," Rainbow apologizes...and then her eyes shoot wide open when I tackle her in retaliation. Since we're still flying, we end up tumbling around in midair. "Oh, you want to do this? Let's go...oh stoppit, tickling isn't fair!"

"It totally is. Maybe this will teach you not to fuck with me," I return. As we continue our dumb airborne shenanigans, the morning sun rises higher in the air, shedding its light over the peaceful town of Ponyville.

---

Rainbow and I touch down in the grassy glade together, both panting slightly after wrestling with one another. Despite all my physical progress, Rainbow is stronger than I am. Which makes sense, considering she's been exercising a lot longer than I have, and I'm not exactly the herculean example of fitness. I just have a lot more muscle mass now than before.

"Dude, you are definitely stronger than before. I could feel it," Rainbow comments as we walk through the field together.

"Yup. I suppose I have this world to thank for it. If I'd stayed back in my time, I'd never have exercised like this," I confess to her.

"Least now you fit in a little more. Everypony in this town has at least some kind of muscle mass," Rainbow continues. She has a point, since the farming industry is pretty important in this town. "Unless you're Pinkie Pie."

"Hah. How can you have muscle working around all that sugar?" I agree. How Pinkie stays as slender as she is is beyond me. Then again, I don't think obesity is a problem among ponies, as far as I've seen.

"Right? Though now that you mention it, I want some cupcakes now," Rainbow expresses, rubbing her toned stomach with a hoof. "Especially that spicy kind Pinkie makes."

I'm just about to ask about how a spicy cupcake can be good, when the voice of another pony interrupts us. "Why, hello, you two!" It's Rarity. She's resting on her haunches, using her magic to lay out a red and white checkered tablecloth on the grass. She's also wearing a wide brimmed sun hat, for whatever reason. Sure, it's particularly nice out for a winter day, but I don't think it warrants clothing like that. Or maybe she's just trying to look good. Whatever, I don't care. "You are here earlier than I expected. Especially you, Rainbow Dash."

"Is everyone going to pick on me about that today!?" Rainbow, protests, planting her face in her hooves while I laugh at her expense. Thank you Rarity, for playing along with my joke, despite it being unintentional.

"We're here early because I dragged her here," I add wryly. "We had nothing else to do after our race."

"You raced Rainbow? Is that why I saw a Sonic Rainboom over the town?" Rarity asks curiously, adjusting her hat with magic. I mentally groan as Rainbow puffs herself up self importantly.

"Yes he did! And I beat him so hard! Nopony can keep up with me when I go supersonic!" Rainbow boasts, pressing a hoof against her chest.

"You say that as if there were ever any doubt," I deadpan. "Congratulations, you beat a guy who's only been flying for half a month, as opposed to you, who's been flying your entire life."

"He has a point there, Rainbow," Rarity remarks. All of this serves to deflate Rainbow slightly.

"But...you're selling yourself short! You were fast enough to keep up with me until that point," Rainbow argues.

"Are...you trying to compliment me, so that you can brag more effectively?" I ask in disbelief. Rainbow pauses, and then dips her head. "Really?"

"Maybe a little...but I'm also being honest," Rainbow admits. Then, to change the subject, she looks at Rarity. "So what's for lunch?"

"Hm, you'd have to ask Applejack. She's the one cooking for us all," Rarity reveals. She peers down at the tablecloth with a scrutinizing expression, and then she proceeds to smooth out the wrinkles. That seems rather unnecessary. When we all get here, that's probably not going to stay pristine like that. "I'd imagine there would be apples involved, however."

"Holy shit, a pony named Applejack is bringing apples? Say it isn't so!" I gasp melodramatically, sarcasm practically dripping from my voice. Rarity looks at me with a flat-browed expression, while Rainbow just snickers. "Shut up, Rarity, that was funny."

"I didn't say anything, dear," Rarity informs me, looking confused.

"You were thinking it."

"So you told me to shut up because of an assumption you made?" Rarity questions with a raised eyebrow. "Seems rather irresponsible."

"I could also care less. Now where's everypony else?" I ask, crossing my arms and looking around.

"Now, Seth, we're still earlier than the appointed time. No doubt it'll be a while before..." Rarity begins, but she cuts off when a piece of the grass just next to her pops open like a lid to reveal Pinkie's head, emerging from some kind of tunnel or another...from seemingly nowhere.

"Hi!" Pinkie greets us all as we stare at her in varying shades of confusion, incredulity, and sheer what the fuckery. Pinkie pulls herself out of the tunnel and shakes her body, scattering bits of dirt over the tablecloth.

"Pinkie, darling, honestly!" Rarity complains, lifting the dirt off of the cloth with her magic and placing it elsewhere. "You really must be more careful."

"I'm always careful! My right back leg got all achy, so I knew I had to emerge here, and only here, or something bad would happen!" Pinkie assures Rarity, none of her words making any kind of sense to me. Then she turns and looks at us. "Hi Rainbow! Hi Sethie!"

"Stop calling me that," I say flatly, but I don't think she even hears me at this point. After greeting us, she puts the "lid" of grass and dirt and places it back over the hole, where it seals up as if tehre had never been a hole there. Seriously, everything she does is what the fuck.

"S'up Pinkie? Did you bring the desserts?" Rainbow returns her greeting, her tongue hanging expectantly out of her mouth. Hate to break it to you, Rainbow, but Pinkie just came out of a hole in the ground. There's no way she brought any...holy fuck did she just pull a basket out of her fucking mane?

"You betcha! I brought all kinds of sweets! Muffins, cookies, cakes, cupcakes, donuts, brownies, and..." Pinkie begins. As much as all of that sounds incredibly awesome, I have to interrupt her.

"Question! How the fuck did you fit all of that in that tiny little basket? Second question, you just crawled through a hole in the ground! Wouldn't there be dirt and/or hair all over it?" I demand. Pinkie's smile doesn't drop at all.

"Nope, everything's fine! More than fine, actually. Look at this!" Pinkie reaches a hoof into the basket and pulls out a fucking three layer chocolate cake in pristine condition and places it on the cloth. Like, seriously. Even after I take a closer look, there's no sign of dirt or hair on it. How the fuck...? "But wait, there's more!"

The three of us watch in wonder as Pinkie proceeds to pull out even more desserts from that tiny little basket as if nothing is wrong. What the fuck is this, Time Lord technology? You know what, fuck it. I don't care anymore.

"Oh, that looks delicious," says a soft, timid voice, just after Pinkie removes a vanilla cream pudding from the basket. Fluttershy flies down to join us. She's carrying a basket with her as well, though if the clanking I hear is anything to go by, it doesn't contain food.

"Fluttershy! How good of you to join us," Rarity greets her first. Pinkie shifts around until she's next to me on the shorter end of the cloth so that Fluttershy can sit next to Rarity. Rainbow is on my left, sitting on the longer end opposite Rarity. "Did you bring the plates?"

"Um...yes," Fluttershy answers, setting down the basket and opening it. "I also brought silverware and napkins. I wouldn't want us to make a mess."

"And by 'us', you mean Pinkie, who almost showered Rarity in dirt," I remark. Rarity sniffs, agreeing my words, while Pinkie just smiles widely and lets my insult roll right over her head without reacting.

Rarity and Fluttershy start to distribute the plates. By that, I mean Fluttershy takes the plates out of the basket, while Rarity grabs them with her magic and passes them out to the rest of us, as well as for those who aren't here yet.

They will be here soon, though. I can see Twilight and Applejack walking towards us in the distance. They're both carrying baskets. Applejack I know has the food, but what is Twilight bringing? Drinks? I sure hope so. She's the one who planned this thing, so she better have thought of that.

"Was that you, Rainbow? The Sonic Rainboom, I mean," Fluttershy asks, practically answering her own question. God, that was a dumb question. You know anypony else who can pull one of those off?

So Rainbow seizes the opportunity to stroke her own ego, and Fluttershy just eats it all up, making the problem worse. Goddammit Fluttershy.

Anyway, while that's going on, I reach over towards one of the cookies Pinkie brought...only for Rarity to smack me on the hand with a fork. "Ow! What the fuck, Rarity?" I say, withdrawing my now stinging hand.

"Ah ah ah, Seth. Don't be touching the desserts until after the meal," Rarity scolds me with a knowing smile.

"Seriously? What are you, my mom?" I demand, considering just taking the cookie anyway.

"Well, somepony has to fill in the role, at least when it comes to teaching you manners," Rarity responds, puffing herself up and looking uppity. "Come now, you need to keep up your healthy habits, if you want to keep those muscles you've been working on."

"I suppose," I grumble, but she has a point. Just as I'm backing off from the argument, Pinkie reaches forward, takes the cookie I'd been going for, and promptly crunches into it. "And how's that fair!?"

"Pinkie, you're setting a terrible example for Seth here," Rarity turns to scold her next. Pinkie looks between us innocently.

"What? Oh. Oopsies!" Pinkie then proceeds to gulp down the rest of the cookie, licking her lips afterward. "Ooh, I love chocolate. I'll have to try putting marshmallows in them next time."

"Howdy everypony!" Applejack and Twilight are here at last. Applejack set down the basket, from which is emanating a delicious aroma. "Ah brought the food!"

"Hey girls! I'm glad you could all make it," Twilight greets us next. The two new arrivals proceed to get settled amongst us. Applejack sits next to Rainbow, while Twilight sits across from Pinkie. In her basket, I can see a steaming teapot, along with a cups and a jug of water. Ah, excellent. She did think this through after all. "I hope you're all as hungry as I am, because Applejack brought a lot of food."

"Seth, ah'm surprised ya even showed up fer this," Applejack remarks. I look at her oddly at that. "Ya don't really seem like the picnic type."

"I'm only here because you sent Rainbow to ask me, and she said there'd be cake!" I retort, which gets a laugh out of everypony there.

"And there's lots of caaake!" Pinkie trills happily in a sing song voice.

"Awesome! Now then, I'm starving, pass out the food!" Rainbow responds eagerly. Applejack chuckles and takes off the cover of her basket, revealing sandwiches, salads, and even some apple turnovers in there. Rainbow immediately snatches one of the sandwiches, much to Rarity's annoyance.

"Rainbow, that wasn't very polite," Rarity chides her, but then she sighs when Rainbow ignores her and takes a massive bite out of the sandwich. "Ugh, why do I even bother."

I get myself a sandwich as well, even though it's nothing but lettuce, tomato, and cheese. There's time for more...especially those sweets. The only time I get to eat those are when Pinkie throws a party, or if I were to buy them. Since I'm cheap as fuck, I never buy them. I only buy what I absolutely need, after all.

With that, the talking ceases for a minute as we all start chowing down on the food. The silence doesn't break until Rarity finishes up her first sandwich. She wipes her mouth daintily with a handkerchief before sighing in satisfaction. "It's hard to believe it's still winter," she expresses happily. "It's just gorgeous outside. Simply gorgeous!"

"Good to know my state's weather never gets any better," I remark in response, even though I know that it's the pegasi that control the weather. I'm not sure about temperature, though. That seems more like it would be under the sun's control. You know, that thing that Celestia claims to have control over. Which I still don't believe.

Twilight is just about to chomp into an apple when she appears to realize something important. She puts down the apple and looks around. "Say, where's Spike? I could have sworn he was right behind me," she asks curiously.

"Oh, I thought somebody was missing," I comment.

"How could I have missed his absence? Oh dear me," Rarity says, looking slightly worried. "Are you sure he left the house with you, Twilight?"

"Absolutely. He was right behind me when...oh, there he is," Twilight cuts off in the middle of her retracing. She points a hoof towards town. I follow her hoof to see a very frantic looking Spike, who looks like he's carrying something in his claws. Oh, and he's also sprinting as fast as those tiny legs can carry him. "I wonder what's got him in such a hurry."

"Ah reckon we'll find out in a minute," Applejack notes wryly.

Not even a minute later, Spike runs into the middle of our picnic (but thankfully not over the food, or I'd have punted him into next week), panting like crazy. "Twi...light! I...have...oh whatever, here," Spike wheezes, handing Twilight a rolled up piece of parchment that's surprisingly emblazoned with the royal insignia. Which means it's from Celestia. Wonder what the mind-reader wants from her this time.

All of the ponies I'm sitting with scoot towards Twilight in an attempt to see the letter. Twilight lifts up the scroll with her magic and unrolls it,before immediately starting to read aloud to us, for whatever reason. "Dear Twilight. I'm sure you're as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot..." Twilight cuts off there, looking at the rest of us. "Wedding?"

Rainbow promptly loses interest, as do I. Weddings. Seriously? Why would any of us care about something like that? It's not like any of us are getting married. Heh, the day I get married is the day the world ends. I go back to eating my food, though I can't help but hear the rest of the letter.

"I will be presiding over the ceremony, but I would very much like for you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wondrous occasion," Twilight continues. "Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music."

"Oh! Goodness me, what an honor," Fluttershy marvels, looking proud of herself. What? Songbird choir? Is that a thing she has? I've never heard of anything like that. Not to mention, you have a fucking Royal Canterlot Orchestra. Why not use that? I'd much rather hear Octavia be a badass than listen to a bunch of birds trying to tweet in harmony. The very idea sounds ludicrous.

"Pinkie Pie, I can think of nopony more qualified than you to host the reception," Twilight says next, not looking away from the scroll.

Pinkie proceeds to do a cartwheel, narrowly missing the cake, before finally coming to a stop right in front of Spike's nose. "Hooray!" she exclaims. Okay, that part I'm okay with. That way we'll have a bunch of sweets for the reception. And her cake is delicious.

Even so, this is rather odd. Why would Celestia want a bunch of random ponies like...oh. Duh. It's because they're the so-called Elements of Harmony. So yeah, I guess you can say they're important enough to warrant roles like this. I guess I keep forgetting that because they never act like it.

"Applejack, you'll be in charge of the catering for the reception," Twilight continues.

"Why, color me surprised. Ah feel mighty important right now," Applejack exclaims, but she looks happy at the chance to display her cooking at the wedding.

"Rainbow Dash," Twilight says, looking at the mare in question next to me. Rainbow still doesn't look impressed. In fact, she yawns widely, showing her lack of interest to everyone here. "I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a Sonic Rainboom as the bride and groom complete their vows."

"Yes!" Well, now Rainbow seems to be interested. Great, so now I'm alone in hating the very idea of this. What the fuck am I going to do if all of these ponies go to Canterlot? My only source of income will be Vinyl, and that's not everyday. Great, so much for fucking buying a house. Thanks a lot, Celestia. Bitch.

"Rarity, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids," Twilight proceeds to read the extremely long letter. Throughout the course of that sentence, Rarity's jaw drops lower and lower, until it practically hits the ground.

"Princess Celestia wants me to..." Rarity attempts to ask, but she trails off into a stream of incoherent babble. "Wedding dress...for a Canterlot wedding?"

Fluttershy does her best to catch Rarity as she wobbles precariously, but ultimately fails as the fashionista hits the ground in a melodramatic faint, smiling happily. Yup...they're all leaving. My mood plummets at that.

"And as for you, Twilight, you will be playing the most important role of all: making sure everything runs according to a smooth schedule. I hope to see you all soon. Yours, Princess Celestia," Twilight finally finishes, though she looks far from satisfied.

"Really?" I interrupt, crossing my arms. That gets the attention of the other ponies around me. "So...you're all just going to go to Canterlot."

"It appears so," Applejack answers helpfully. My eyes narrow.

"Good thing I was fucking invited. I guess I'll just stay home, twiddle my thumbs, and get paid for all the work I won't be doing!" I snap, my bad mood turning into anger. "Seriously! I was this close to buying a damn house, and now this happens."

"Wait, Seth, there's more," Twilight cuts in before I can fully lose my temper. She clears her throat again. "P.S: Tell Seth that if he's interested, he's more than welcome to come along. I'm confident you can find something for him to do."

"There! Now you can come with us!" Rainbow proclaims, pulling me close to her with a hoof. She then whispers into my ear. "Now I won't have to suffer alone."

"Oh really? And have you even thought about this? Where are we staying throughout all of this? Canterlot's not exactly the cheapest place to stay, you know. Either way, I'm getting screwed out of my money," I correct her, pushing Rainbow away from me. "Fucking weddings. I hate weddings."

"How could you hate..." Rarity asks, now sitting back up. Well, she started to ask, but Applejack cuts her off with a hoof and a shake of her head. Good. I don't want to answer that anyway. God, this is one giant inconvenience for me. Just wait until I see Celestia again.

"I still don't understand," Twilight emits, putting the scroll down. "This is the first I've heard of this wedding. Who's getting married, and why are we needed for it?"

"There's a good question," I grunt.

"Oh! Hold on a minute," Spike suddenly exclaims. He then holds out another scroll to Twilight. "I probably should have given this one to you first."

I have to facepalm at that. Twilight rolls her eyes, but she does take the scroll from him and unroll it. This time, everypony here walks around her to get a better view.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you to attend the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and..." Twilight abruptly cuts off with a gasp when she reads the next line. "...my brother!?"

Wait a minute, I recognize that name. Huh. So Princess Cadance is getting married. Well what do you fucking know?

---

Author's Note:

And here's my next update! I have now dipped into canon, and thus, before you read any further, I'd like to make a few things clear.

I will NOT simply be restating canon with a new character inserted. I hate that above all things (drives me nuts when I see any author insert their own character into word for word canon scenes, and then get a bunch of likes for their lack of creativity). Nor am I simply putting this in in order to bridge canon. The Royal Wedding will play a huge role in Seth's development, and once we get to Canterlot, most of the scenes you remember will not be shown, as the episode was told from Twilight's perspective.

Nor do I intend the canon to be exactly the same. A fair warning: toss aside your preconceptions of this arc, because chances are, I'll be tossing them out the window and bumping up the canon a few ratings.

That's...okay, I guess this wedding is actually somewhat of a big deal. I remember whenever there was a royal wedding back in my time, everybody and their mother would be up in a clamor about it, whether that meant gossiping about it with their friends or watching it on TV.

And Cadance? I met her for a little while, and she was...tolerable. I'll give her that. I remember her mentioning a "coltfriend," but I didn't realize they were so close that they were getting married. Still though, I'm not happy about having to go. Getting a place to stay will take a huge chunk out of my money. I mean, the option to stay here is there, but then I'll be losing money as well. So it's basically choose whatever I hate less. Would I rather be alone with no friends (since if it's a royal wedding, the entire town is probably going to go), or go with them and be bored. Fuck it, I guess I'll go.

Twilight, however, appears to be in shock. Yeah, I suppose that's how anybody would feel if they were told their sibling was getting married to a princess. Though I do find it interesting that she even has a brother, and that he was dating Cadance. Slowly though, I start to see the slightest hint of anger starting to show in her face.

"Congrats, Twilight! You must be so happy," Applejack congratulates her, grabbing Twilight's limp hoof and shaking it. Twilight's eyes narrow, and she yanks her hoof away.

"Yeah, I'm SO happy to hear about this wedding from a slip of paper!" Twilight rages, tossing the scroll on the ground. The other ponies here look at her with shock, while I just watch with interest. I've only ever seen her mad once, and that was at me. So this is somewhat entertaining to see her angry at somebody other than me. "Why couldn't my brother tell me about this himself!? I mean really? Thanks, Shining Armor."

Twilight then proceeds to impersonate her brother poorly. Then it hits me. "Hold on a second, what?" I interrupt her in the middle of her rant. The other ponies look at me now as if I've grown a second head. They probably think I'm nuts for getting in the middle of this. "Did you just say, 'Shining Armor?'"

"That's right. My brother's name is Shining Armor. Why, have you heard of him?" Twilight asks, surprised by my interruption.

"Your brother...is the Captain of the Royal Canterlot Unicorn First Regiment. The Shining Armor," I repeat incredulously. I remember when I saw Shining Armor for the first time, the way his mane settled around his neck reminded me of somepony. Now it makes sense. His manestyle is similar to Twilight's. Oh son of a bitch, I tried to get out of training with Twilight, and got landed with her brother instead. The fucking irony. Still, Twilight keeps surprising me with how important she is. Personal student of Princess Celestia and she has a brother who's the Captain of the Guard and is about to become a fucking prince. Christ.

"Yes, that's correct," Twilight says, still somewhat confused. Meanwhile, the jaws of the other ponies listening in hit the fucking ground.

"Wow...Equestria is a small fucking place. Did you know I trained with him during my trip to Canterlot a month and a half ago?" I reveal, much to Twilight's surprise. Even Rainbow looks surprised at me for that. I guess I never told her that much.

"Oh, so you already know my brother. Did he say anything about me at all?" Twilight asks hopefully.

"Nope, not a thing. Hence why I didn't know he was your brother," I answer her. Her face falls, and then she gets angry again.

"He didn't? Is he not even thinking about me? Why would he make a decision like this, and not even tell me about it? Why did I have to find out from a stupid invitation!?" Wow, Twilight is more pissed than I've ever seen her. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Who is that, who even is that!?"

She...hold on a minute, Cadance was her foalsitter. How does she not remember her? Or maybe she doesn't recognize Cadance's formal name. Which would make sense, considering Cadance didn't seem to like it herself. You know...I could tell her...but this is rather entertaining. So I think I won't.

"Twilight, are you okay?" Fluttershy asks, trying to comfort her friend. Twilight looks like she's about to blow a gasket, but then she forces herself to calm down with a heavy sigh.

"Sorry...it's just that my brother and I always used to be so close," Twilight laments. "He's my BBBFF!"

I'm sorry, what the fuck did I just hear? What the fuck did she just call Shining Armor? Turns out none of the other ponies here have a clue what that means either, because they're also looking at Twilight with confusion.

"Big brother best friend forever," Twilight explains, clearly not amused. While the other ponies give sounds of understanding, I give a snort.

"That's fucking dumb. How about you never say that again?" I ask rudely. Twilight turns her head and fucking growls at me.

"Can you not be...yourself right now? I'm definitely not in the mood," Twilight snaps. Oh, just not be myself. Seems easy enough.

"I'll get right on that," I retort. At that, Twilight gives off a frustrated huff. Rainbow sidles up to me.

"Can you give her some slack? She's really mad," Rainbow whispers. I shrug. It's not my fucking problem if she wants to flip a lid over nothing. So what if her brother didn't tell her? It's really none of your business who your brother is fucking. What? That's literally all marriage is. I probably wouldn't have gone to Adam's wedding...unless he asked very nicely and there was cake.

"Before I came to Ponyville, Shining Armor was really the only pony I accepted," Twilight continues, venting to her friends. Which doesn't include me, because I don't give a fuck. Suddenly, Twilight starts to hum a sad little tune. Wait really? Is this about to happen right...and she's singing.

Okay, do ponies really do this? I remember Pinkie breaking out into song randomly, but she's Pinkie. Lyra did it at one point, but she had her lyre to back her vocals. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle did this really cool improvised piece earlier, but I assumed that was just a talent of theirs.

Right...I'm just going to tune this out and pretend it isn't happening. I guess it might be a cultural thing. Whatever.

Anyway, so Shining Armor, that really hard ass captain that first trained me how to defend myself against basic attacks, and how to control the basic flow of my magic in general...is now marrying Cadance, that princess that took me to a concert, which was the best fucking thing ever. That's a bit of a revelation.

It makes sense though. No doubt only a captain would have the status necessary to court a princess. Though I can see why they'd date. They both are pretty chill when not on duty...and fuck it, I hate having to care. Because I'm probably going to end up helping to prepare this wedding, I have to care about their relationship...which I hate doing. Fuck relationships, and fuck weddings ten times more.

"Twilight," Applejack says after Twilight finishes...whatever the hell she was doing. Nopony else seems to be batting an eye at her impromptu performance. "As one o' yer good friends, I think yer brother sounds like a good guy."

"He is...they don't let just anypony be Captain of the Royal Canterlot Unicorn First Regiment," Twilight agrees sadly. "They're in charge of the defense and security of Canterlot itself. Their captain needs to be somepony we can all trust."

"So...let me get this straight," Rarity inserts, looking somewhat manic. "We're helping out with the wedding of not just a princess, but also the Captain of the Royal Canterlot Guard!?"

"I...guess we are," Twilight says with a heavy sigh. At that, Rarity proceeds to faint again, while the other three ponies start to whoop and laugh joyfully, as if this were an incredible opportunity. When I say three, I mean that Rainbow is still sitting next to me.

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all," Rainbow remarks to me. "A Sonic Rainboom...at a royal wedding? This is going to be a great wedding!"

"That's not saying much," I snap back at her, annoyed at this whole thing. Rainbow looks at me oddly. "I hate weddings. Not only am I being dragged to one because the alternative is staying here entirely alone, but there's also Twilight drama going on. This can't possibly get any worse."

"Aw, come on, it won't be that bad. Come hang with me while I warm up for the wedding. Watching me do my tricks should take your mind off things," Rainbow suggests in an attempt to cheer me up. Yeah...no.

"Thanks for the offer, but no. Chances are, you'll be flying around non-stop, with no time to hang with me," I point out. Rainbow raises a hoof and opens her mouth to protest, but then she shuts it, realizing I'm right. "Plus, I have to find some way to make up for the bits I'm going to lose finding a place to stay."

"No you don't. Since we're the Elements of Harmony and all that, every time we go to the castle on business, we get a royal suite!" Rainbow informs me excitedly.

"That's great, but I'm not an Element of Harmony," I remind her.

"So? That doesn't mean you can't take advantage of it. Come stay with me in my room. We can listen to your music there too if we're lucky enough to get some free time," Rainbow offers. That's...huh, I didn't even think about that. That's a pretty big favor...but in the whole month Rainbow and I have known one another, she's never tried to use her past favors as leverage against me. I guess I pretty much trust her at this point. At least for stuff like this.

"I guess that's fair. Even so, there's probably something else I could be doing to help with the wedding preparations while you're warming up," I reiterate. Rainbow sighs and nods in understanding. She seems a bit disappointed, for whatever reason. "By the way, when is this wedding? All I know is that we're going to it."

"It's...huh, I actually don't know," Rainbow realizes. She turns her head to the sulking Twilight." Hey Twilight! When is this wedding supposed to be?"

"Tomorrow," Twilight answers sullenly.

"Holy fuck, really? Then we need to get going right the fuck now," I express, looking around at the other ponies. "Who the hell planned this thing? Are we seriously going to be able to get everything ready by tomorrow?"

"Ah agree, we should get going. Though you should calm down a bit, Seth," Applejack responds.

"Calm down!? You don't throw together a goddamn wedding at the last minute like this! Enough celebrating! Get moving! Let's get our tickets and get the fuck to Canterlot!" I'm practically yelling at this point. I don't see why I care, though. Probably because if I'm going to find some way to get paid for this, I have to make sure it goes according to plan. Though that's technically Twilight's job.

With that, I make sure to grab a handful of sweets, and then we start packing up the picnic, as something for more important lies on the horizon. I better get paid a lot for helping out with this, or I'm going to be mad.

Since Twilight is too busy being a drama queen, I take command. "Applejack, you find someplace to put all the cloths and stuff until we get back. Pinkie, take the food back to your place and store it. Rainbow, go get in line for tickets, and yes, there will probably be a line for a fucking royal wedding," I order. Everything I say comes out sounding pissed off, but that's fine with me.

"Sure, ah kin do that."

"Okie dokie lokie!"

"I'll be back in a flash!" With that, the three ponies I addressed split off to do the tasks I gave them.

"What are you going to do, Seth?" Rarity asks curiously. Well, I certainly can't go in just what I'm wearing now. Or I can, but it needs something to make it look more formal. And I know just the thing.

"I'm going go get that white coat you made for me. You know, the really epic looking one," I tell her. Rarity gives a happy smile at that. I also feel a little excited. To wear that coat I mean. What's the big deal about this white coat? Oh trust me, you haven't fucking seen it. It's epic as hell. I actually paid Rarity for that one, despite her protests, because it is that fucking cool. "Now then, I'll meet you all at the train station. And make sure Twilight doesn't sit there and sulk for too long."

Without waiting for a reply, I flare my magic and take to the air, as it will be the quickest way of getting to Vinyl's place without getting interrupted.

You know, moving around like this makes me feel like a character from Dragon Ball. Then again, this flight ability is exactly the kind of thing they use. This is kinda awesome.

So because of how much faster this method of travel is compared to walking, I reach Vinyl's house in a manner of seconds. Without knocking, I walk inside to see Vinyl...also packing. "Hold up, where are you going?" I ask curiously.

"Oh, hey Seth. You don't know?" Vinyl responds, looking up from preparations. She seems to be loading up all her musical equipment into that massive cart again. "There's going to be a royal wedding tomorrow, and I want to be there."

"Seriously? So am I like, the last one to find out about this?" I demand furiously. Technically the eight of us found out at (by eight, I mean Twilight, her friends, and Spike) the same time, but they're less important.

"Shoot, I thought I'd mentioned it to you at one point. Sorry about that," Vinyl apologizes with a sheepish expression. "Are you coming too?"

"Apparently I am. Celestia contacted Twilight and told her to bring me along to help with the preparations," I explain, cutting out the minor details that don't matter. "What about you? Why are you bringing all your musical stuff?"

"Do you have to ask? It's for the after-parties, bro! Ponies from all over Equestria are gonna show up to see this, and the reception ain't gonna be the only party," Vinyl expresses with an excited grin. "I'm gonna make a killing!"

"Right...well, then maybe I'll see you there. Since Celestia was a dumb fuck and decided to let us know NOW that we're supposed to set up the whole damn wedding, I have no time to waste talking to you," I tell her, and then without waiting to hear her respond I dash up the stairs and into my room. Throwing open the closet, it's an easy matter to spot my coat and grab it, though I make sure to be gentle with it, because it really is a work of art. I don't know much about tailoring and what terms and what not, but I'll do my best to describe it.

When I say coat, I don't mean it's one of those fluffy winter things you put on. No, when I say coat, I mean one of those really long ones. Rarity had it in her head that she wanted to make something truly fancy, and she more than outdid herself.

I put on the coat, loving the feel of its weight settling on my shoulders. This coat is so long, the ends of it dangle just slightly above the ground. Yeah, its one of those. I'd also like to clarify that it's not one of those coats where the designer got lazy and decided to just make a standard jacket...longer. The cloth splits at the back at the waistline, and the edges of the split are trimmed with stitched polyester that looks almost like leather, except grayish, to contrast with the coat's mostly white coloring.

As for my shoulders, there's a set of epaulettes, but non in the usual sense. For example, there's no dumb looking tassels or anything like that. Instead, the cloth is a different color on top of my shoulders, and hangs down the side of my shoulders loosely, stopping just above my elbows.

There's a set of silver buttons running down my chest that are solely for decorative purposes. No, there's a small black stretch of stiff cloth that I zip together on my chest, as well as two straps and buckles. This coat is long sleeved as well. And lastly, on the area where my wrists would go, there's a set of fancy gray bracers.

In other words, this coat is sick as fuck. I also told Rarity I'd never wear this thing to work, which she agreed with. She said it would be more appropriate to wear if I ever returned to Canterlot. Which I am. So I'm wearing this thing. God, I feel like a total badass.

Once I zip up the coat and fasten the straps, I'm ready to go. Hopefully the other ponies did what they were told, so that we can just hop on the train and go. We have a lot of shit to do, after all, and it doesn't seem like Twilight's in any mood to do the role she's been assigned. Which means unless one of the other ponies steps up to the plate, it'll be my job. Dammit, I'm no leader. Twilight better not make me have to be one. Though on the other hand, if she fucks off, I'll get paid that much more.

Vinyl does a double take when I walk down the stairs. "Dude...that outfit. Holy mother of Celestia," she gasps, looking at the coat in awe. I can't help but preen a little. Yeah, I do look awesome. "Rarity really went over the top for that. Still...looks awesome!"

"Thanks. Since I'm going to wedding, I might as well look my best," I reply, adjusting my hair so that none of it falls into the collar.

"Wow. At this rate, you're going to make me look bad," Vinyl comments appreciatively. Of course, that sets me up with the perfect opportunity to mess with her.

"Oh please, like you need my help to do that," I tell her nonchalantly, moving for the door. Immediately, I'm hit in the head with a roll of paper towels.

"Oh, get the heck out of my house," Vinyl retorts good naturedly, though she's picking up another roll.

Chuckling, I open the door and take to the skies again.

---

I land just outside the train station, where the train itself is idling and getting filled with ponies. It seems everypony is trying to go early as well...if you call the day before "early." Seriously, just you wait until I can give you a piece of my mind, Celestia. This is some bad planning on your part.

The line is massive, but I can see Rainbow at the front of it now, exchanging her bits for tickets. That's good. And there's Applejack and Pinkie approaching the station, though the latter is literally bouncing instead of walking. I approach the two of them expectantly.

"Good. If we leave soon, we might have a chance of pulling this off," I address them without even greeting them first. Applejack and Pinkie glance at me, and then they both double take.

"Whoa there, that's a right fancy outfit yer wearin'," Applejack observes. She reaches up a hoof and touches it with a hoof. "This Rarity's work?"

"Yeah. The only thing I actually paid her for...and would you stop that?" I turn down and bat at hand at Pinkie, who is giggling and batting at the ends of my coat with her hoofs.

"It's like you're wearing two really really big streamers on the back of your coat! It's a brilliant idea!" Pinkie exclaims, batting at them once again despite me attempting to fend her off. "Can Rarity make me one of these?"

"I most certainly cannot," Rarity answers, walking up to our little group next, dressed in a fancy , yet practical dress of her own. Behind her, she's lugging a large cart filled with her luggage. "It's not that simple, darling."

"Aw, why not? Sethie looks so fancy in that coat. Why can't I have one?" Pinkie asks, her excitement not dropping even a little.

"I swear to god, I will smack a bitch if you don't stop calling me Sethie!" I snap at her, even though it's been a month and a half, and she still has yet to acknowledge one of my attempts to get her to stop.

"Because, the design I used for this coat would fall flat if I were to extend it to ponies," Rarity begins. Fluttershy joins us in the middle of Rarity's explanation, though she greets us so softly we hardly hear her. "You see those drapes on his shoulders? Our shoulders are not nearly as broad as his, so it would look simply awful, with all of that loose fabric hanging down."

"We're wasting time. Where the fuck is Rainbow and Twilight?" I say, cutting across Pinkie's no doubt inane response.

"Twilight? Oh, she's been here," Applejack answers, indicating the unicorn in question sitting near the edge of the train platform, completely alone except for a helpless-looking Spike.

"Oh, she's still sulking. Great. Do I need to smack some sense into her so she doesn't leave me to do all the directing?" I ask, though my question isn't really directed at anyone other than myself.

`"Ah...don't think that would be a good idea," Applejack says haltingly. "She's pretty scary when she's mad. Though ah don't think she's got anything ta be mad about."

"I agree. Her brother is getting married! I assume he didn't tell her because he wanted it to be a surprise!" Rarity adds.

"I don't know..." Fluttershy trails off, but she was cut off by Rainbow landing in our midst, eight tickets clenched in her mouth. She then gives one to each of us...though let me tell you, it is odd taking something from a pony's mouth.

"Okay, where's Twilight and Spike?" Rainbow asks urgently. Applejack shows her as well. "Okay. Let's go. Once I give them their tickets, we can get on the train. Also...awesome outfit, Seth."

"At least somepony around here understands how last minute all of this is," I grumble, while Rarity beams at the praise to her work. Thankfully though, we stop our idle conversation and start moving towards the platform. When we near Twilight, Rainbow approaches the sulking mare tentatively, holding the tickets.

"Hey Twi. Are you ready to go? I have your tickets," Rainbow addresses her carefully. Twilight looks up slowly after a few seconds. She smiles weakly at her friend and takes the tickets, passing one to Spike with her magic.

"Yes, I'm ready. Sorry," Twilight replies shortly. She turns around to see the rest of us. She looks at my coat curiously, but doesn't really say anything about it. I have half a mind to kick her ass out of this self-induced snit she's put herself in, but we have no time for that.

"Okay, everybody has their tickets. Now let's get going," I order, motioning everyone towards the crowd attempting to get into the train. "Why can't we get a compartment to ourselves like we did last time?"

"We actually can. Hello? Elements of Harmony?" Rainbow remarks, waving a hoof in my face. I push her hoof down with wry expression.

"Is that how we got one last time? Because I doubt Vinyl was important enough for one," I say, putting two and two together.

"No, actually. Vinyl paid for a reservation beforehoof," Rainbow explains with a grin. "But we're on business for the princess this time, so we get our own."

"I see. And it seems like you all know what you're doing as far as that goes," I reply, noticing the others taking the lead. I tag along with them, walking onto the train behind them, handing my ticket to the conductor as I do so.

We all take our seats. I sit between Rarity and Rainbow, and Applejack, Spike, and Pinkie surround us. Twilight chooses to seclude herself, continuing to sulk over at the front of the compartment. She stays like this even as the train starts to move.

The ponies around me are chatting excitedly and animatedly, hardly even staying in their seats. Ugh. This is going to get really annoying.

---

"I can't wait! A Sonic Rainboom at a royal Wedding?" Rainbow says once we're far into the trip, repeating her words from earlier today. "Can you say, best wedding ever!?"

Pinkie takes a breath, and then proceeds to scream extremely loudly, "BEST WEDDING EVER!" This causes me to clap my hands to my ears, while the others just laugh. Goddammit, she can be really annoying.

Because my hands are over my ears, I miss Spike's remark, but it gets the girls laughing again, so it was probably something dumb. I think it's safe now, so I lower my hands.

"How long is she going to sit over there?" I demand, changing the subject away from the wedding for a second. I indicate Twilight with a wave of my hand. "She's acting like a foal."

"Now, I think that's a little harsh," Rarity chides me. "It's all right for her to be a little shocked, and perhaps worried. After all, she's never met this Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."

"Yeah, well, I don't care what her reasons are. She needs to snap out of it and do the job Celestia gave her, or I'm going to have to take over, and I really don't want to do that," I retort. "And neither do you. I'm not fun to work under."

"Ah don't doubt it," Applejack responds wryly. "Now how 'bout I go over there an' try to cheer her up?"

"Good luck with that. It's difficult to get her out of her slumps," Spike inserts. "And this...well, I wouldn't say she gets like this often."

"I suppose it's worth a shot, regardless," Rarity decides. "I say do it. Shall I go with you, Applejack?"

"Nah, don't want her ta feel outnumbered. Leave it ta me," Applejack determines. She gets to her hooves and walks over to Twilight, while we watch carefully. I don't think this is going to go well for her.

I can't really hear what they're saying over the sounds made by the train, but as I suspected, it isn't going well. Twilight is waving her hooves around animatedly, a furious expression on her face. Finally, Applejack appears to give up, and she walks back to us with her mouth set in a thin line.

"Ah couldn't get through to her. She seems mighty possessive of her brother. Claims he won't have time for her," Applejack reveals. "Ah tried tellin' her otherwise, but she wouldn't listen."

"Why, that's absurd. They're family, right? Why wouldn't he make time for her?" Rarity states her opinion, looking over at Twilight.

"That's what ah said. But she seems all hung up on the issue that he didn't tell her about the wedding," Applejack relates.

"Pathetic," I rejoin, shaking my head. They other ponies all turn to me with worried expressions. "That's all it is? Getting upset that someone can't spend time with you is foalish and stupid. You can't change the way things are."

"Seth, must you be so critical?" Rarity gets on to me yet again. It seems like she's always the one scolding me whenever I say something like this. "I don't excuse Twilight's behavior, but I understand it. It's natural to crave the attention of your family. Do you have siblings?"

"Rarity!" Rainbow hisses at her in warning, but it's too late. I shut my eyes, remembering Adam. I can't really relate. While I enjoyed spending time with him, it wasn't that big of a deal if he was busy. That's why I always let him choose the times we'd get together.

"I'm not talking about my family. Ever," I express to Rarity firmly. She blinks at the change in my tone. "To be honest, I don't care what she's feeling. All I care about is that she can do the job."

"Okay, Seth. Stop," Rainbow finally joins the conversation fully, looking at me. "You can't judge her because she misses her family. That's just wrong."

"She should be happy she even has one," I retort, and that in particular makes all of the ponies listening wince.

"I...think I understand," Rarity begins, picking her words carefully. Oh do you? This oughta be good. "You are angry because you think Twilight is taking her brother for granted."

"Fuck your assumption, that's...actually not far off," I say, halting off in the middle of my retort. "Have you been taking lessons from Celestia? Because you're reading my mind."

"Oh dear, don't put me on Celestia's level. She's been alive far longer than myself. I'm just being observant and empathetic," Rarity explains, giggling slightly. Then she composes herself, looking serious. "I know the feeling isn't reciprocated, but I consider you amongst my friends. As such, I want to see you happy."

I scoff, but I'd be lying if I said her words didn't mean something to me. I think I've said this before, but I'm so used to people not giving a shit what I'm feeling. In my time, nobody put forth the effort to know me. Sure, they'll talk to me. Or they'll ask if something's wrong. But when it becomes more than they've bargained for, they leave to find somebody simpler.

These ponies have faced the brunt of my anger and cynicism, at some point or another, and they keep trying to be my friend. It's baffling.

"Oh! We're here, we're here!" Pinkie screeches, sticking her head out the window. "Canterlot ahoy, captain!"

I look out the window as well, and notice something odd. Actually, not odd. As in, downright strange. There's a massive shimmering dome surrounding the entire city, colored pink. It's almost like a force field of some kind. There's also a massive military presence. I can see large groups of pegasi flying through the air around the castle, and legions of royal guards patrol the streets. Hell, there are even two guards standing on either side of the railroad just in front of the barrier...which we're about to hit.

The horns of the two guards light up, and the portion of the barrier closest to us starts to ripple like water. The train passes through it entirely.

"What the..." I start as the thin pink membrane of the barrier passes through the train and through me. My body starts to tingle unpleasantly at the contact. Rainbow and the others also appear slightly uncomfortable from the contact. "The hell was that?"

"I dunno, Canterlot didn't have this kind of security the last time we were here," Rainbow answers, as confused as I am. "Did something happen?"

"Who knows. I guess we'll get a chance to find out," I state as the train slowly comes to a stop at the typical station.

When the door opens, the first thing we all notice is the sheer amount of military presence here on the platform. There's guards everywhere, and I mean everywhere. There's practically an entire squad of the here, all armored and heavily armed with spears and swords. I think they're all from the Canterlot Royal Unicorn First Regiment, so they're all under Shining Armor's control.

"So many guards...seriously, what's the big deal?" Rainbow demands as the doors open. She walks out, followed by Rarity.

"I'm sure they're just taking precautions. These weddings can bring out the strangest of ponies, after all," Rarity reasons. As if on cue, Pinkie walks out of the train and sneezes fucking confetti like it's no big deal. I'd say what the fuck, but I feel like I say that every time I see Pinkie doing anything. "Now, we should get moving. We all have a lot of work to do."

"And Twilight, you should go congratulate your big brother," Applejack says with an encouraging smile to the still sullen Twilight.

"Right...congratulate..." Twilight says in a dangerously soft voice. "And then I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

And off she goes, joining up with one of the guards, who proceeds to escort her away. Which leaves us entirely without our organizer. "Shit, really? Now how are we going to get to work without her directing us? Do all of you know where you're going?" I demand irritably.

"Well, ah'd assume ah'd be goin' to the castle kitchens to get the food ready," Applejack answers, putting a hoof to her chin. Okay, that makes sense. I look at Rarity.

"I'll be going to my suite to get started on designing the dresses. I not only have to create one for the princess, but also for her bridesmaids," Rarity explains next. She's starting to look a little stressed. "Oh dear, it's going to be a difficult task."

"I'm going to the great hall! I've got to put up all the decorations, and get the party games set up. Oh! Not to mention contact musicians and write up a guest list!" Pinkie exclaims, bouncing around me in circles like an annoying fly. "Busy busy busy!"

"I guess I'm just gonna fly around and get myself warmed up," Rainbow adds. That's true, she does have the easiest job out of all of us. What's probably going to happen is that she's going to take turns napping and flying.

"I'm meeting with the rest of my birds in the garden. We have so much rehearsing to do," Fluttershy finishes. Right...I forget that they've all been here before.

"So...I'm the only one who hasn't a clue what to do," I say flatly, looking between them all. They all exchange glances, and then nod in confirmation. "Then why am I even here? Is there something I can do to help any of you?"

"Hm...ah suppose ah could use some help in the kitchen...there'll be a lot of food ta cook," Applejack suggests. "There's the apple fritters, the cake itself, the pies, you get the picture."

"Hold up, I thought Pinkie was making the cake?" I ask curiously.

"Nope. Ah got tasked with caterin', so it's mah job," Applejack clarifies. Oh great. I've tasted

Applejack's cooking at the picnic, and it's decent, but I don't think she can compare to Pinkie, because she is a baking wizard.

"You could always come with me to help with the dresses, like you've done before. I'll pay you for your trouble, of course," Rarity adds. "After all, I do have a lot of dresses to make."

I wait for more suggestions, but it seems like that's all I'm going to get. Rainbow and Pinkie don't need my help, and there's no way I'm sitting in a garden for an entire day listening to a bunch of dumb birds try to sing. I still think the idea of a bird choir is just fucking stupid. Seriously. Royal Canterlot Orchestra. You have one! Fucking use it. Ugh, idiots. I feel sorry for Octavia not getting to play in this.

"If those are my only options, I'll come with you, Rarity," I decide, causing the fashionista to beam. The last time I tried cooking, I was only following a recipe, and that doesn't make a good cook. "I'm not that great of a cook, so I feel I'd just slow you down, Applejack."

"Aw shucks, ah know how hard of a worker ya are. You wouldn'ta slowed me down none," Applejack assures me. "But this is fine too. Anyhow, we should get movin'. Like you said, we don't have much time."

"Right. Let's get going then." I agree, and together the seven of us leave the train platform, heading for the castle.

It seems calm now, but I bet I'm going to be stressed as hell by the time we get started. Fucking weddings, man.

---

Author's Note:

Okay, I'm now at the point where I can say "fuck you" to the canon and make it my own. Hopefully reading through canon here wasn't that excruciating. That's why I tried to cut out the Twilight moments as much as possible, because we already know what her deal is.

No, this arc is going to be all about our main character, and how experiencing all of this will affect him personally. Not to mention I fucking love Queen Chrysalis, and I'd like to give her some more credit than what the show did.

Okay, I'll shut up about this and just get back to writing.

Leave a comment for me and tell me what you think! After all, this is a rough draft, and anything you tell me will be used in the rewrite.

So I have a lot of observations to make on our way to the castle. If I thought the amount of guards outside on the platform was a bit much, that's nothing compared to the amount of guards in the streets. There's so many of them, I'm starting to think that Rarity's suggestion that they were here to safeguard the wedding is bullshit. This is less like increased security, and more like preparations for a large scale battle. Something's going on that we're not being told. I can't help but feel a bit worried at that line of thought.

Every few seconds, the shadows of hundreds of flying pegasi fall over us. Yeah. Hundreds. This is ridiculous. Peering up to look at the sky, I feel slightly...trapped, for lack of a better word. Surrounded by hundreds of soldiers beneath a shimmering magical barrier. There's got to be somepony who'll tell me what the fuck is going on. Maybe I'll run into Celestia. If that happens, I'll ask her directly.

A flash of blue stands out from the sea of golden armor. Peering closer I can make out a group of several ponies wearing the colors of the Wonderbolts. "Hey, Rainbow. Check that out. It's Spitfire," I announce, breaking the silence that had formed.

Rainbow's response is immediate. "What? Where, where!?" she demands, spreading her wings. She looks like she's about to take to the air, so I place a hand on her back. "What the...what are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't take off. She's up there, guiding a squad of pegasi herself," I reply, lowering myself to Rainbow's level and following Spitfire's squad with my finger. Rainbow follows my finger, until she catches sight of her idol with a happy gasp. "She's probably on duty, so you shouldn't bother her."

"Yeah...but I'll definitely try and catch her after the wedding," Rainbow expresses excitedly. "That'll be right after my Sonic Rainboom, too!"

"Right. I still don't see why she's out here. She told us that there wasn't much cause for her to actually do anything the last time we met," I recall.

"I don't care. Seeing her out here with the rest of the pegasi is so cool!" Of course, Rainbow is too busy fangirling for her to really look that deep into it. I guess I should have known that was coming when I told her about Spitfire.

"Ya know, maybe this whole shindig is why Miss Rose left so early," Applejack reasons, joining our conversation.

"Huh, now that I think about it...you may be right," I agree. Rose, my trainer from the Canterlot Royal Unicorn Second Regiment, had left about a week before this, rather abruptly too I might add. One day, without any former notice to myself or anypony else, Rose just didn't show up to training. Later, the train conductor informed me that she had returned to Canterlot. Not that I wasn't glad to be rid of her, but that seemed rather irresponsible of her...though I can understand if she received orders pertaining to the security of Equestria itself. Because I've already determined that this kind of security is too much for a wedding, even a royal one.

The guards standing outside the castle notice our approach and open the golden gates for us, recognizing each one of us. Just inside, there are several of the castle staff waiting for us. How do I know that they're castle staff? Because a very familiar bitch is with them. Fucking lovely.

"Welcome, Elements of Harmony. It is a pleasure to have you with us once more," the reddish mare at the front of the small group of ponies greets us. And by us, I mean not me. No, she turns to look at me next, her eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. "And a pleasure to see you again as well, human."

Oho, yeah, she is not happy to see me. "Hello, Elegant Style," I groan. I never actually told her my name, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that she's calling me something as impersonal as "human."

"Thank you for the warm welcome, Miss Style," Rarity responds before things can go downhill between Elegant and I. Which is wise, because she and I are glaring at one another, though she's hiding it better. "We do appreciate it."

Elegant turns her gaze away from me and smiles at Rarity's tact. "Don't mention it. Now then, we've been tasked to direct you to your workplaces," she reveals. "I assume you've been told where each of you will be working?"

"That's raht. Ah'm gonna be workin' in th' kitchens, ah think. That's where y'all cook yer food, raht?" Applejack answers, looking excited to get to work. Sheesh, everypony is way too excited for this.

"That's correct. In that case, if you'll go with Glossy here," Elegant begins, indicating a dark gray mare dressed in a maid's outfit. "She'll take you to them."

"Well, that's mighty kind of ya. Lead the way, Miss Glossy." Applejack replies, tipping her hat in greeting to the maid, who smiles shyly. I don't think that maid is very used to dealing with important ponies, especially since she'd been cowering (so to speak) in the back of the group of staff. Just as they start moving, Applejack turns her head back to focus on us. "So what, we'll meet up fer dinner in the courtyard after our work is done?"

"Sounds like a marvelous idea. Good luck, Applejack," Rarity says, as the other ponies emit sounds of agreement as well.

"Ooh! Me next! Pick me!" Pinkie exclaims, sticking a hoof in the air like an overexcited grade-school student. For once, Elegant and I appear to agree on something, as the both of us stare at Pinkie with deadpan expressions, though Elegant is better at hiding it than I am. Mostly because I don't try to hide it.

"Yes, Miss Pinkamena, I was informed that you..." Elegant begins, only to get cut off.

"You can call me Pinkie!" Pinkie interrupts, her grin as fucking massive as ever. Elegant looks unamused by her interruption. She clears her throat and tries again.

"Miss Pinkamena, you..."

"Please call me Pinkie!" Elegant looks like she's going to pop a blood vessel in her forehead when she's interrupted yet again.

"Ahem...I was told you would be planning the reception, which is to be held in the great hall," Elegant continues, choosing to omit Pinkie's name entirely rather than give in. Hah, she's as stubborn as I am. Elegant then turns to another one of the ponies with her, a shy looking white stallion, with a light blue mane. "Mr. Palette, would you please escort...her...to the great hall?"

"Y...yes, ma'am," the stallion answers timidly. The poor thing is terrified of Elegant, I can just tell. I'm getting a kick out of seeing her so frustrated though. It's nice to see Pinkie pissing someone off other than me for once, since everypony in Ponyville seems to love her, for whatever dumb reason.

"I already know the way, but you can come with me anyway. We'll become the best of friends!" Pinkie assures her guide as she bounces along with him, while his head bobs up and down comically to keep her in his vision.

"Uh...sure," the stallion replies, unsure.

"Now then, shall we continue?" Elegant says, adjusting her mane. Okay, I've lost interest in listening to her. While she addresses a very timid Fluttershy, I look around the castle absentmindedly, taking notice of the guards all over the place.

One thing I do notice is that I can see Celestia herself standing up at the top of the highest tower of the castle, looking through a telescope. I can barely see her from here, but it doesn't seem like she's stargazing...especially since it's barely noon. No, she's on the lookout for something, but I have no idea what that something could be.

"Hey!" Rainbow suddenly says, nudging me. I look away from Celestia to see my friend watching me, her wings spread in preparation for take off.

"What?"

"I'm headed out. You'll be back for dinner, right?" Rainbow asks.

"If you're there, then definitely," I say without thinking. Fuck, that was really sappy. Rainbow knows it too, laughing at my words, but she does seem to appreciate it. "Quit laughing and get out of my face already."

"There we go. I was wondering what got you so nice all of a sudden," Rainbow jokes, prodding me with a hoof. I proceed to bat away her hoof with my hand...to which she responds by smacking my hand with her other hoof. There's a slight pause, and then we start smacking at each other's assorted appendages rapidly until the two of us dissolve in chuckles, as Elegant looks on in obvious disapproval.

"Time's a wasting, Miss Dash," Elegant informs her with a bitter tone, which causes me to look at her with a glare.

"Hey. We already know that, so fuck you," I snap back at her, which causes Rarity and the remaining member's of Elegant's staff to look at me in shock and a little bit of admiration. Huh, I guess I'm not the only one that despises her.

"Ahem. It seems you're as unrefined and impolite as ever," Elegant responds after a short pause. "But if you understand, then get moving."

"Fine...sheesh," Rainbow complains, and then she takes to the air, leaving me alone with Rarity, because I think Fluttershy already left when I wasn't paying attention. The one pegasus that's with Elegant goes with Rainbow, but to my amusement, he can't keep up with her whatsoever. Good. Not sure how I feel about him going with Rainbow anyway. Part of me wishes I'd gone with her. Sucks my practical side has to be more prominent at times.

"I don't recall being told what your task is exactly," Elegant says to me. Every time she talks to me, it's like she's speaking through gritted teeth. "Could you enlighten me?"

"Allow me. I brought Seth along as my personal assistant. I find his presence helps my work become more efficient," Rarity answers for me with a devious smile, her expression daring Elegant to say anything in opposition to her claim.

"Oh, I...see." Elegant does her best not to show her shock that somepony actually had something nice to say about me. Still, it's about time somepony threw her off guard. "Well then. I suppose the both of you should come with me. I'll take you to your suite, Miss Rarity."

"Do call me Rarity, dear. And that won't be necessary. I know the way to the suite," Rarity replies. Thank god, maybe now Elegant will fuck off. I've had more than enough of her for one day. Or lifetime. Can she just disappear? That would be nice.

Elegant shakes her head. "Be that as it may, I must accompany you nonetheless. My apologies, but I was specifically ordered by Princess Celestia not to let any of you walk the castle by yourselves," she informs us apologetically. At that, Rarity and I both look at one another, probably both thinking the same thing. Wait what?

"I see. Lead on then, I suppose," Rarity says haltingly, deciding to go the diplomatic route rather than the confrontational one...which is the route I was just about to take. Nevertheless, now is as good a time as any to find out what the hell is going on. Elegant doesn't like me, but she's never not answered my questions.

I wait until we're inside the castle before saying anything. "Elegant," I say. Rarity looks at me, her eyes giving me a silent warning not to start anything here in the middle of all these guards. It's fine though, I'm just asking a question.

"What is it, human?" Elegant responds without turning around. Okay, that has to stop.

"First off, my name is Seth," I finally tell her, tired of being called "human" all the damn time. "Secondly, what's going on? Why is Canterlot inside this magical bubble or whatever?"

"You are curious about the increased security then?" Elegant asks. When I don't reply, she takes that as an agreement and continues. "While the royal wedding is a part of it, there's also something much more significant in effect."

"Oh? And what would that be?" Rarity inquires. Elegant is silent at first, possibly thinking on whether or not telling us is a good idea.

"There was an attempt on Princess Celestia's life a few days ago, in the middle of the street," Elegant reveals, her tone deadly serious. My jaw nearly hits the fucking ground. Rarity's surprise shows through a horrified gasp. "In broad daylight, a seemingly normal earth pony walked up to the Princess and attempted to harm her with a poisoned knife."

"Dear me!" Rarity exclaims, pressing a hoof to her chest.

"Who in the hell would be that fucking stupid?" I demand, as equally shocked as Rarity. "Let me guess, Celestia burnt that fucker to a pile of ash."

"Not quite. The Princess, fortunately, was on alert, and as such managed to disarm and subdue her attacker," Elegant continues, once again trying to tell me to refer to Celestia with the proper respect. Bitch. I'll call her whatever I want.

"What happened to him? Did she ever find out why he tried to kill her?" Rarity presses. Elegant nods sagely.

"The would-be assassin was detained and imprisoned by the Royal Guard, and further investigation revealed that the earth pony was under some kind of magical control," Elegant reveals. "The composition of the magic responsible was unlike any that we've ever seen."

"Mind control? What kind of creatures can even do that? Sounds like something out of a horror film. Did you ever find out what did it?" I question, feeling like my earlier worry was justified, especially if there's assassins about. I don't really think anything can hurt Celestia, but that doesn't mean the real culprit wouldn't harm her subjects to get to her.

"No, but we did discover that the real perpetrator intended for the assassination attempt to fail, as there was a hidden bundle of magical information bound in the foreign control spell, which was discovered by Commander Pale Rose in her attempts to dissolve the spell," Elegant proceeds.

"Ah, so that would explain why Rose left Ponyville so abruptly," Rarity reasons, to which I nod my head in agreement. I can understand her rushing back to Canterlot after a fucking assassination attempt. "What was in this 'bundle' as you put it?"

"A demand for surrender from an unknown enemy," Elegant answers. "I don't have access to the crystal in which the message was stored, but I can tell you that whoever it was that sent the message threatened that if Canterlot wasn't surrendered to her, she would continue to enslave and kill ponies."

"Shit. Well, that explains the fucking army you've got out there. And the force field," I state dumbly. Holy fuck, I'm at Canterlot during what amounts to a fucking siege. This is...wow. I may actually be in real danger here. No wonder we're being escorted everywhere. Still, according to the pony history that I've gathered so far, this is the most volatile thing to happen since the War of Night and Day. I'm literally standing here as history is being made.

"That's...rather frightening. Why hold the wedding, during a situation like this?" Rarity questions worriedly.

"You see, the citizenry are worried, and for good reason. This unknown assailant has threatened even the lives of uninvolved bystanders. The royal wedding is a way to show them that life can continue as normal, despite these dire circumstances," Elegant explains. Once again, I'm surprised. I can't believe that Celestia went and told her subjects everything that's happened. In my time, an assassination attempt would have been covered up in a flash, and the citizenry lied to.

"Hard to believe life is proceeding as normal if the entire fucking military is out and about," I remark. Still, it makes sense how the culprit would threaten Celestia's subjects. Because I've felt Celestia's power, and nothing can stop her. Then again, in the end, any attempt to bring her down will end in failure, because even if you manage to kill all of her subjects, you'll just be left with a very very pissed off Celestia who has the power of a fucking god.

"The military's presence helps the citizenry feel safe, as wherever one may go, there are always a large amount of guards to keep you from harm," Elegant pronounces proudly. Right...I'm pretty sure I'd be more upset if there was a bunch of military guys at my college...but I guess that's a cultural thing, really. Because humans are crazy.

"That's...quite a tale. But I trust in Princess Celestia," Rarity says after a moment to think. "If she believes the wedding is important, than I shall do my utmost to see it succeed."

Elegant smiles at that response. "You seem like an agreeable enough pony. It does my heart good to see one such as you in charge of an Element of Harmony," she praises Rarity, who proceeds to blush. And then there's me, who in her eyes is like some insect that's following her, I have no doubt.

Finally, we stop in front of a fancy door, on either side of which are two royal guards, armed with spears and magic. Elegant opens the door with her magic to reveal what I assume is Rarity's suite. "Here we are. You will have the room entirely to yourselves, but the windows and doors will be watched at all times, for your safety," she informs us.

"How the fuck do you watch a window?" I demand incredulously. Elegant gives me an annoyed glance, and then she indicates several hovering pegasi just outside the window. "Oh. That's how. Duh."

"Thank you for the security. I've never felt safer," Rarity addresses Elegant, and the two unicorn mares shake hooves, smiling at one another.

"It is my pleasure, Rarity. Now, I shall leave you to your work," Elegant says graciously. Just before she leaves the room, she looks back once more. "Also, you should be prepared to greet Princess Mi Amore Cadenza at some point during the day. She will be periodically checking on your progress."

"Thanks for the notice. I'll be sure that she is nothing but pleased," Rarity finishes, and at last, Elegant leaves the room, leaving Rarity and I alone. "Now then, shall we begin? We have so much to do."

"Sure, let's do it. Thank god that fucking bitch is gone," I reply, glaring at Elegant's retreating form down the hallway.

"Now Seth, she is only doing her job," Rarity admonishes me. Again. God, she keeps acting like my mother. It's getting annoying. "But I did notice some animosity between you two. Have you met before?"

"Yes, on my last trip to Canterlot. She was as prissy and bitchy as she was just now, looking at me like I'm not worth the ground I tread on, and pushing her ideals of respect onto me, as if I should follow them," I tell her. "What she doesn't understand is that I'm not obligated to respect any of you ponies. What respect I give you, you have to earn."

"I suppose that makes sense, even if I don't agree with the way you're going about it," Rarity admits. "Though I must ask, do you respect Princess Celestia?"

"Damn right I do. She's earned her position as a ruler in my eyes. She's so perceptive she might as well read minds, she's done nothing but help me since I've met her, and she's so powerful I don't think anything can stop her," I answer firmly. I still don't know Celestia's motives for helping me so much, but until I see the catch, she can have the benefit of the doubt.

"Why Seth, that's the nicest thing I think I've ever heard you say," Rarity gasps, though she looks happy despite her surprise.

"Don't get used it, Miss Prissy," I shoot right back at her, which in turn causes her to sigh in lament and lower her face into her hooves. "Now then, tell me what to do."

"Of course. First, I'd like you to take out and sort all of my sewing materials: first by type, and then by color," Rarity directs, indicating the luggage that she's been tugging along with her this whole time.

"Right...and which of these numerous suitcases did you actually put your sewing materials?" I ask, regarding her luggage with some trepidation. She brought a lot of stuff with her. Heh, she's basically Erza.

"The black one, dear," Rarity replies without looking. She's standing in front of a wooden table, whose surface is slightly angled up in the back. With her magic, Rarity spreads out a sheet of paper on the table, and then removes a pencil from one of the bags in front of me.

"Which black one?" I ask, unamused, as there are several black bags.

"All of them," Rarity supplies helpfully. Great. With a sigh, I carefully extricate each of the black suitcases and set then in a row on the ground. "Hm...should I start with the bridesmaids' dresses, or the bride herself?"

"I'd suggest bridesmaids. That way you don't go too over the top with them, and then you can make the bride's dress even better," I suggest, unzipping the suitcases in front of me to reveal all of Rarity's sewing supplies. And dear god, there's a lot of them. Fabrics upon fabrics of varying designs, spools upon spools of every possible color, and then even a sewing machine that once again is powered by magic and not electricity. There's also actually sewing needles in here as well, probably for the finer details that sewing machines can't handle.

"Ooh, that's a good idea. Thank you," Rarity exclaims, and she immediately puts pencil to paper, so that I can hear the sound of the graphite scratching the surface. "Let's see, if I'm going to do this...each bridesmaid must have a similar style of dress, but a different theme, preferably one that suits the wearer itself. Unfortunately, I don't know who the bridesmaids are going to be, so it would be best to design them with colors that would suit a wide variety of coat colors..."

"Why don't you find out who they are?" I interrupt her musings with my suggestion while I continuously empty out and sort the contents of the black suitcases.

"Pardon?" Rarity seems not to have heard me at all.

"If you don't know who the bridesmaids are, why don't you go find out?" I repeat. A moment later, I accidentally prick my finger on one of Rarity's needs, which causes me to curse rather colorfully.

"Seth! Honestly, you must really endeavor to censor yourself, especially when the princess gets here," Rarity warns me.

"Oh please, Cadance has taken everything I've thrown at her just fine. I don't need to censor shit," I remark uncaringly. I make sure to take out the needle carefully this time, though I'm planning terrible things to do to Rarity for putting loose needles in here. Seriously, how irresponsible can you get?

"You've met the princess? What was that you just called her?" Rarity asks, even as she makes a few sketches on the sheet in front of her.

"Cadance. She hates going by her full title. I met her during my last trip to Canterlot, in the garden," I relate. "She's pretty chill for a princess."

"You surprise me, Seth. Despite your consistently uncouth attitude, you continue to befriend ponies in the highest of places," Rarity comments.

"I wouldn't say that Cadance is my friend. If anything, she helped to distract me during all the time I had to myself," I correct her, even though I am somewhat grateful to Cadance for letting me go to that concert. Still, one simple favor doesn't make a friend. Not to me. "Not to mention, she's way too much like Twilight."

"Twilight's a remarkable pony. If this princess is like her, then I am sure I will like her," Rarity affirms. Right...remarkable. That's not the word I'd have used for her. "How would you say they are similar?"

"In that they're stubborn as hell, and when they get started talking about something they really enjoy, they just won't shut up," I inform her. Rarity looks like she's about to protest, but then hilariously enough, she actually nods.

"I suppose that's a fair point. Though the difference between you and me is that I find that to be an endearing trait, rather than an off-putting one," Rarity replies.

"Right...anyway, back to my original question. Why don't you go find out who the bridesmaids are, so you can tailor the dresses to their specific colors?" I ask again.

"That's a splendid idea, but...I shouldn't leave my work station. Not when I have yet to even come up with a basic framework for a single dress," Rarity admits. Then she brightens up. "Say, you're here to assist me, aren't you? Why don't you go find out who the bridesmaids are for me, and then come back?"

"Ugh, I suppose I could. I'll go as soon as I finish sorting all this shit like you told me to," I say, annoyed. Oh well, at least I'll get a chance to observe the situation in the castle for myself. Maybe I'll get lucky and run into Celestia. I'd like to hear her thoughts on this situation. She can probably explain it a lot better than Elegant Style can.

A few minutes later, the black suitcases are now entirely empty, and all of her materials are sorted into neatly organized piles that she can access whenever she wants. "Okay, I'll be right back," I say, standing up.

"Do be careful. You know the situation," Rarity warns me as I walk out the door. Oh please, there's guards everywhere. I think I'll be fine.

"Excuse me, sir," one of the guards next to the door says suddenly. I pause and turn around, wondering what a random guard could possibly want from me. "You are the human, Seth Rogers?"

"That's right. What's it to you?" I reply in a confrontational manner. The guard does not flinch, but instead glances at the other, who nods.

"You are classified as a VIP for the royal wedding, along with the Elements of Harmony. Therefore, if you wish to move from place to place, you are required to have an escort with you at all times, for your own protection," the guard explains, his voice clear and sharp.

"Huh...that's bullshit. I don't need an escort," I retort irritably. Can you not waste my time, weakling? "Don't you know that I once went head to head with what you guys call 'the Blossom Wind?'"

The guard's eyes widen slightly, but that's the only reaction he shows. "Be that as it may, sir, I have my orders. One of us must go with you at all times."

"Ugh, whatever. Do what you're told, I guess. Just don't bother me," I say, giving up. It's not really worth it to argue with a peon. Because in the end, they're just going to follow the orders of their superiors.

Without another word, I turn on my heel and march down the hallway. One of the guards next to Rarity's door breaks off to follow me. I don't know where I'm going though. I'm looking for a staff member that can give me some names, so I guess I'll just accost the first official looking pony I find.

However, when I reach the first intersection in the halls, I run into one of the most official ponies there can be. By that, I mean the fucking groom himself, Shining Armor, dressed in full heavy armor befitting a regiment captain. He spots me out of the corner of his eye and stops, turning to face me with a smile. "Well now, this is a surprise. I didn't realize you would be here, Seth," Shining Armor addresses me, turning away from his initial path to meet me halfway. "How have you been?"

"Clearly not as well as you, considering you're getting married," I point out, earning a chuckle from him. "I wasn't even aware you had a...what's the pony term...marefriend?"

"Heh, yeah, I've been dating Cadance for well over a year now," Shining Armor reveals, a dumb smile on his face. I've seen smiles like that before. It's the kind of smile guys wear whenever they talk about their girlfriends. It always used to piss me off to no end. It still does. I don't believe that love is anything more than the desire for sex brought on by natural instincts, so whenever I'd see a smile like that, it always seemed fake. "I almost didn't propose at first. She's a princess, and my family has no ties to nobility."

"You were already dating her...if you managed to leap across social boundaries already, then what's the point of worrying about them for the proposal?" I remind him. Shining Armor blinks, as if he'd never really thought about that.

"I guess it doesn't really make sense. It might have just been nerves. It wasn't an easy decision, let me tell you," Shining Armor admits. He looks like he's about to say something more, but then a pained expression crosses his face, and then he winces, lifting a hoof to massage his temple.

"Migraine?" I ask curiously. Shining Armor shakes his head.

"Not in the sense you're thinking. It's stress pains brought on by extended magical use," Shining Armor explains. "I'm currently holding up a double barrier around the entirety of Canterlot. I have plenty of magic left, but it's taking a toll on me. Thankfully, my bride-to-be has been helping to stave off the pain."

"Hold on, what? You're the one holding up that massive barrier?" I ask in shock. Canterlot is massive. I can't even imagine how much magic and concentration that must take. Shining Armor nods in confirmation. What? How the hell can he do that and talk to me at the same time? "Christ, I thought that was coming from some kind of magical artifact or something."

"No. As captain of the Canterlot Royal Unicorn First Regiment, the burden of keeping this city and its ponies safe falls squarely on my shoulders. I will hold this barrier up and our unknown assailant out for as long as I can," Shining Armor declares, determination showing in his face.

"Huh. Well, good luck with that, I suppose," I reply, not really knowing anything else to say to something like that. "Do you know who sent the assassin?"

"Unfortunately not. After the spell on the assassin was broken, he couldn't tell us anything," Shining Armor admits. "But, if I had to take a guess, I'd say the perpetrator is not from Equestria. We've never seen control spells before."

"I see," I reply, once again being reminded that I am part of a major historical event. Hopefully a war doesn't break out from this. Still though, it's weird to know that the safety of Canterlot's borders is in this one pony's hooves. Which means...that if the enemy is already in the city, he's one giant target. "Keep yourself safe. The enemy will likely be going after you."

"I understand. Thank you for your support. Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to overseeing the guard, and getting ready for my wedding," Shining Armor responds, looking genuinely appreciative of my words.

"One last thing. Do you know who the bridesmaids are for the ceremony?" I ask before he has a chance to turn away.

"I believe I do. Let's see, I believe the three of them are from Ponyville. There's Twinkleshine, Minuette, and Lyra..." Shining Armor begins.

"...Heartstrings. Son of a bitch," I groan, completing his sentence for him. Oh great, so Lyra is going to be a part of this? Which means it's only a matter of time until I run into her. Well, this just got worse. What more can possibly happen while I'm here? Oh here, Seth, let me just lock you in a room with Pinkie Pie for a few hours. Seriously, I think I'd die. "Thank you."

"You don't like her I assume?" Shining Armor asks with some amusement at my annoyed response.

"It's not that. It's that she likes me. A little too much, if you catch my meaning," I inform him. Shining Armor winces at that, understanding.

"Ooh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Anyhow, I really must be going. I have a lot to do," he replies, turning back around. "I'll see you later, Seth. It was good seeing you again."

"Sure, I guess," I reply awkwardly. At that, Shining Armor leaves me behind. Well, meeting him was unexpected, but at least I got the answers I needed without having to get lost in the castle somewhere. They're all from Ponyville, and Ponyville's not that big of a town, so Rarity should know these ponies. I know she knows Lyra, at the very least.

I turn back around and head back the way I came. It hasn't been very long, but at least now I can give Rarity something to go on.

When I reach the room again, the guard escorting me gives me a salute and returns to his post by the door. Whatever, at least I'm back in the room now. "Rarity! I found out who the bridesmaids are," I announce immediately upon entering the room.

"Oh? Excellent, do tell. I just finished outlining a basic dress design for them," Rarity responds, turning her body to reveal her work. Drawn on the paper is a rough sketch of a dress consisting of a long piece of cloth to cover the rump and a thick ribbon that wraps around the pony's neck to hold it all together, which is decorated by a large flower. In addition, there's a pearl wreath for the head. "What do you think?"

"Looks good. Though I'm not really the one to ask about whether or not pony clothing looks good," I remark. "Also, the bridesmaids are all from Ponyville."

"Then I probably know them. What are their names?" Rarity asks curiously.

"Twinkleshine, Minuette, and Lyra Heartstrings," I answer, glad that I'm safe in this room where Lyra will definitely not be.

"Interesting choices. I wonder what inspired them?" Rarity comments. I agree with that. Who the fuck would pick Lyra for a bridesmaid? She's nowhere close to the image I have of a typical bridesmaid. Which isn't really that thorough, but shut up. "But at least now I have something to go on. Would you get the ponyquins down from the cart? It's time to get started."

Oh sheesh. Well, it's time to get to work, I suppose.

---

Several hours pass as we get to work. I'm flying all over the place the whole time, making sure Rarity has everything she needs to keep working without having to stop for any reason. One time I even get her a glass of fucking water. I would complain, but I am getting paid for this.

Finally though, Rarity puts the last stitch in the last dress, which is the bride's dress itself. It's a roughly similar design to the bridesmaids' dresses, but differing in the details. The back is pure white, accented by golden swirls. Instead of a ribbon, there's a royal purple and golden metal band holding the dress to the ponyquin, adorned with a cyan crystal in the shape of a heart, like Cadance's butt tattoo. On top of the ponyquin's head, there's a flowery wreath, to which is attached a translucent white veil, similar to what I'd expect from a wedding gown.

"Excellent! I'm rather proud of it," Rarity declares, putting down the needle and thread with a satisfied sigh. "Now, what do you think of this, Seth?"

Before I can answer, a very angry looking Twilight storms into the room. I can practically see the veins twitching on her head. "I can't believe this!" Twilight rages without even greeting us first. When she reaches us, she starts to pace back and forth. "I'm so angry, I can't even see straight!"

"Twilight, dear, whatever is the matter?" Rarity asks, concerned. I think I'll just stay out of this one, myself. It's obvious Twilight is just going to go on another childish tantrum.

"It's Cadance! Did you know she used to be my foalsitter?" Twilight exclaims, confirming my suspicions.

"Really? Then wouldn't it be a good thing that your brother is marrying somepony you know?" Rarity inquires.

"It would have been, but something's wrong. She doesn't even remember me! The mare that once told me she was the luckiest foalsitter in the world now doesn't even remember my name!" Twilight laments. Okay, that doesn't sound right. When I met Cadance, she recognized Twilight's name the second I mentioned it. She even called Twilight a "remarkable filly." So why does she all of a sudden not remember Twilight? That is, if I assume Twilight is telling the truth. She might just be jealous.

"That doesn't seem right," Rarity murmurs. "Are you sure it's the same mare that foalsat you?"

"Absolutely. She looks exactly as I remember her. Plus, my brother told me as much. But you should have seen how she acted! I don't know when or how she changed, but she did," Twilight expresses. She then proceeds to do an imitation of what I assume is supposed to be Cadance. "'Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza..."

"Did I hear somepony say my name?" sounds a voice from the door that is unmistakeably Cadance, but it is spoken in an irritated tone that I've never heard Cadance use before.

Something isn't right here.

---

Author's Note:

Here's the next chapter! Man, I am so excited to be writing this, I wrote three chapters in the space that it would usually take me to write one. I'm already halfway through the fourth. So, if everything goes well, there will be a possible quadruple update in your future.

Finally, Cadance arrives? Or does she? Find out next time, on..okay, I'm not doing that. Anyway, I tried my best to skip over most canon events. If I couldn't, I at least tried to rephrase them to fit the characterization that I've built up for them.

Also, I've already bumped up the rating slightly. I changed "A threat's been made on Canterlot" to "a pony with a fucking knife tried to stab Celestia!"

Now then, leave your comments (because I love them), and prepare for another chapter tomorrow! (I hope).

Princess Cadance walks slowly and regally into Rarity's suite, flanked not only by several royal guards, but also by the three bridesmaids whose identities I'd only uncovered a few moments ago. When Lyra spots me, she waves happily at me, but I ignore her for now, instead gazing at Cadance, wondering what the hell is going on.

I remember Cadance being calm and happy, putting on a smile at like, every other word. I've never seen her like this. Just looking at her face, I can tell she's pissed off at something. She's also carrying herself differently than I remember. She holds herself like she knows she's somepony important, which stands in stark contrast to the pony who told me in the garden that she was no good at formalities.

"Princess!" Rarity exclaims, immediately rushing over to Cadance and giving her a deep respectful bow. Cadance once again defies my memories of her and looks down at Rarity with thinly veiled disdain, as if the pony in front of her is nothing more than an insect. "I must say, it is a tremendous honor to be a part of such a momentous occasion."

"Uh-huh," Cadance emits, unconvinced. This is getting weirder and weirder by the moment. She sounds less like the Cadance I remember, and more like me. That's not right, because only I'm like me. "I assume you have my dress ready?"

"But of course! I assure you that you will be most pleased with my work," Rarity responds, working as hard as she can to give Cadance the utmost respect. Which doesn't seem to be impressing the princess, despite the fact that I know she never really cared that I didn't give her much respect. Rarity leads Cadance over to the ponyquin containing the bride's dress. "And here we are! What do you think, your Highness?

Cadance scrutinizes the dress in front of her with a critical eye. Almost immediately, her frown deepens, which means she probably doesn't like what she sees. "It's...not terrible, but I was looking for something with a longer trim and a bit less frill," Cadance criticizes. Rarity looks like somepony just slapped her, but to her credit, she composes herself quickly.

"I...see. Don't worry, princess, I will fix it immediately. Only the best for the bride-to-be, after all," Rarity assures her with a nervous giggle, whipping out a notebook and writing down the criticism she just heard. Cadance doesn't respond, instead looking less pleased with every passing moment. "What do you think of the dresses I made for the bridesmaids?"

Rarity indicates with a hoof the bridesmaids' dresses, in front of which I'm standing with my arms crossed, watching Cadance closely with narrowed eyes. Twilight is doing the same, I notice.

Cadance turns, but because she doesn't bother to look before turning, she runs right into me, her muzzle impacting with my chest. "Oh! What is this thing standing in my way?" Cadance rages, but then she steps back and gets a closer look at me. Her eyes widen slightly, but nowhere in her lavender eyes do I see any sign of recognition. "What...exactly is this, Rarity? Is it...alive?"

"Yes, I'm alive, and I talk. What the fuck, Cadance?" I demand, and she looks further surprised by my intelligence. What the fuck is going on? She can't be so dumb that she'd forget me after only a month and a half. Twilight may be on to something, because Cadance is not acting like Cadance.

Twilight and Rarity both look scandalized at the overly informal and rude way I just talked to the princess. Even the bridesmaids are staring at me in shock, wondering if I've gone insane. Cadance looks affronted, which is also an expression I've never seen her wear. "I don't know what you are, but is that any way to speak to a princess of Equestria? My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and I'd like you to address me as such!" she snaps at me, her eyes narrowing. Okay no, I'm not going to deal with this shit any longer.

"How about no? You specifically told me to call you Cadance the last time we spoke. I don't know what's up your ass, but I'd like you to stop it right the hell now," I shoot back, glaring into Cadance's eyes. Seriously, why is she suddenly such a bitch? "Besides, you know what I am. I'm human, I told you as much over a month ago."

"You...!" Cadance looks like she's about to blow her top, but then she calms down and forces a smile at me. "Oh, of course. My apologies. With all the wedding preparations, I guess it must have slipped my mind."

With that, Cadance walks past me so that she can look at the bridesmaids' dresses, that criticizing look returning to her face. I watch her the whole time, unable to believe what she just said to me. I run over my past conversations with her in my head.

"I'd rather not ask your species, as I consider that rude of one to ask another, especially if we've just met."

"I'd rather that not be an issue. Just call me Cadance, please."

"This is exciting! It's amazing that you're alive, even after thousands of years! Did you know that most of our technology and culture is based on what we've discovered of humans?"

"I guess it must have slipped my mind."

My eyes narrow at her. Bullshit. Cadance was as excited to find out I'm a human as Twilight was. She would never have forgotten. Cadance just contradicted everything she said to me in our first conversation together.

Which means one of two things. Either the unknown enemy from outside has somehow managed to control her, or that isn't Cadance at all. I don't know if illusion spells are a thing, but I suppose anything is possible with magic.

As Cadance proceeds to belittle Rarity's work, I consider my next course of action carefully. Now that I've determined this, I need to act upon it. But I need to be careful, because she's got those two guards with her, as well as the bridesmaids. Still though, Twilight seems to be too dense to figure this out on her own, so it falls to me to take care of it. Though how Shining Armor hasn't noticed this change yet is beyond me.

"I think these dresses need to be a different color," Cadance finishes, glaring at Rarity.

"But, they look really nice!" Lyra speaks up, indicating the mint green themed dress that was no doubt designed for her. Twinkleshine and Minuette both agree as well, gazing at the dresses with radiant admiration.

Cadance turns her head with such a frightening expression on her face that all three of the bridesmaids are cowed. "You heard me, Miss Rarity. Make them a different color," Cadance orders, and then she stalks back towards the door, indicating for the bridesmaids and guards to follow her.

When the princess left the room, Twilight steps back towards the center of the room, glaring out after her. "Wow. Maybe we should call her Princess Demanding," Twilight snarls. "It's not like we're trying to make tomorrow the best day of your life or anything. A bit of appreciation couldn't hurt."

"It's no big deal, darling. It's her right to pick and choose. After all, like you said, tomorrow is supposed to be the best day of her life," Rarity justifies with a shrug. "It just means I'll have to do a little extra work. Not a problem."

"But, that's not..." Twilight begins, but she cuts off when she sees me storm past her, heading for the exit. "Seth? Where are you going?"

"Out. Stay with Rarity, or do whatever you want. I don't care," I snap back at her. Twilight recoils at the viciousness in my tone, but I don't care. My suspicion has been raised, and I won't stop until I get some answers.

"But, Seth, I still need your..." Rarity begins.

"What I'm doing is more important than some fucking dresses," I interrupt her. Without waiting to see her reaction to my overly rude words, I leave the room. The guard next to the door starts to follow me again but I turn around and transfix him with a deadly glare, magic suffusing my eyes. "Try to follow me, and I'll crush you."

The guard blanches at my blatant threat. He looks at his companion, who nods in my direction, probably telling him to follow me anyway. But it's too late. By the time he looks back at me, I'm already gone.

Let's see, Cadance can't have gone far. I jog down the hall in a hurry, pushing my way through the staff and the patrolling guards, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of pink. When I reach an intersection, I look in all directions, until at last I spot her heading down the hall to my right. I cut down the hall after her.

I make sure to keep some distance between her. If I want to confront her, I'll have to wait until she's relatively alone. If there's only those two guards she's got with her, I can handle them, but not in the middle of the hall. I'd get swarmed by so many guards it wouldn't even be funny. So I hang back and follow her.

After a few minutes of that, she turns her head and spots me out of the corner of her eye. However, she doesn't exhibit any reaction, instead choosing to continue down the path. She looks like she's heading for the great hall...wait, she just turned down a small corridor.

When I turn down the hall after her, I notice that it's mostly empty, save for a few staff members. Excellent. Now if I can just get Cadance and her guards in a room on their own, I can finally get some answers.

Luckily enough, Cadance turns into a dressing room, labeled as such by a golden plaque on the door. God, it's times like this that I'm glad I can read now. When I stop outside the door, I notice the room is fairly large, but also empty of anypony except for Cadance and her group. I'm not foolish though. I know this is a trap. Cadance knows full well that I'm following her. The fact that she led me to an empty room means she's either willing to talk, or she's planning to ambush me. Well then, I guess I'll spring the trap. I've gained a lot of power over the past month and a half. If anything, I'm confident in my ability to blow a hole in the wall and escape if things go south. Hopefully that doesn't happen though.

I have to act before the guards even know I'm here. My eyes narrow, and then I release my magic, entering base form immediately. Remembering my training, I open my mental awareness to the air around me, to the point where I can feel currents of magic flowing in the air around me like a calm hurricane. I grab hold of a current that heads in the direction I want, and then I zoom along at it at a speed so fast, that normal eyes won't be able to track it.

The first guard gets no warning before I suddenly appear in front of Cadance, to his immediate right. I clench my left hand into a fist, hold my forearm parallel to my chest, and then use my right hand to lever my elbow right into the side of the guard's head. I put a significant amount of power into that attack, such that he's knocked out immediately and sent tumbling across the room.

"What the..." the other guard cries out, lifting his spear with his magic. Before he can bring it to bear, I pivot on my right heel and slam an open palm into the remaining guard's temple, rendering him into the same state as the first.

Throughout this entire exchange, Cadance watches me coolly, not blinking an eye at my sudden appearance nor my show of force. The bridesmaids, however, are terrified and confused, especially Lyra. "Seth? What...what did you...why...?" Lyra stammers, looking at the knocked out guards in horror.

"You three. Get out of here. Right now," I command them, my magic flaring around me to the point where the carpet burns at my feet. Twinkleshine and Minuette don't need to be told twice. They sprint out of the room like bats out of hell, while Lyra steps back, but doesn't leave. "Lyra, I swear to god, if you're still here by the time I count to three, I'll do to you what I did to those guards!"

Lyra's eyes widen, tears starting to form. Finally, she heaves a sob and sprints out of the room as well. I feel somewhat bad for terrifying her like that, but the further she is away from Cadance, the safer she is. Essentially it's for her own good.

"That was quite a show, human," Cadance remarks, prodding the motionless form of one of the guards. "But you do realize that by attacking my guards, I can classify you as my enemy, and therefore an enemy of Equestria?"

She's technically right. Celestia would no doubt have sensed me using my magic. While she knows it's me and she claims she trusts me, she'll definitely come to investigate. I don't have much time. I need to beat down Cadance and have answers to present to Celestia by the time she arrives.

"Yeah, you can drop the act. I know you're not Cadance," I accuse her , powering down in the hopes that it'll take Celestia longer to find us.

Cadance has the gall to look offended by that. "What ever do you mean by that ridiculous accusation? As you can see, I am Cadance, through and through," she questions me coyly, turning her flank to angle her butt tattoo at me.

"Don't play fucking innocent. I spent enough time with the real Cadance to know that she wrote several papers on my kind," I snap at her. "And yet you had no idea what I was. Nopony, especially not a fucking diplomat, has a memory that bad."

"You seem quite sure of yourself. Is there no way I can convince you of my identity?" Cadance continues to act coy, despite knowing full well that she's been caught red...hoofed. The human phrase wouldn't work here, so don't fucking judge me.

"Absolutely not. So you can either tell me who you are right now, or I'll crush you here and we'll find out from your corpse," I growl. Wow, I'm actually surprising myself a little with the things I'm saying. Is this how I am when faced with somepony that wants to do me harm?

"Oho, such a violent threat. I like you, human. You're a being after my own cold heart," Cadance remarks with a grin, seemingly dropping the Cadance act entirely. She leans forward and sniffs at me curiously. "And...you don't belong here, do you?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" I demand, losing my patience fast. Cadance laughs heartily, and then she steps closer to me, bringing her head up to my ear in a seductive manner. Which makes me uncomfortable extremely fast.

"Tell you what. Shall I make you a deal, human?" Cadance whispers into my ear before proceeding to rub her body against my side, her tail flicking occasionally. I follow her with my eyes, just as she turns her head back to look at me, biting her lip in what she assumes to be a sexy manner. Oh god, and I thought Lyra was bad. What the hell?

"You'd better start talking," I tell her flatly. I don't know what it is she thinks she can get out of me, but I need to get some solid evidence fast, before Celestia gets here. Especially since I can now sense Celestia's massive power moving down from the top of the tallest tower. Oh yeah, she's noticed.

"I would like you to keep quiet about your suspicions concerning me," Cadance requests, to which I scoff. Right, because I can totally do that after knocking out two guards. "In return, I'll tell you everything later tonight, as well as give you a...special...reward, in my private chambers."

Okay, the blatant flirting is pissing me off. It's like she's treating me like any other male. Bitch, I'm not going to give in to feminine wiles from a fucking pony. That's not how sex drives work, you imbecile.

"Right...in case you hadn't noticed, I knocked out two guards with my magic, and Celestia's on her way. If I don't take you down here, I'm going to get screwed," I point out. "Besides, I doubt you can offer me anything that would make me take that offer."

"How can you be so sure?" Cadance purrs, rubbing against my other side and nuzzling my shoulder. "I won't spoil it now, but I can offer you things beyond your wildest dreams."

"Uh-huh. Right. Let's assume I say yes. How the hell am I going to get out of not capturing you? Celestia will crucify me if she thinks I hurt Cadance," I ask, hating myself for even considering her offer. If I'm right, I'm dealing with our assailant, the one who tried to kill Celestia. If not her, then one of her underlings at least. If I accept her offer, I can go up to her room, learn her entire plan, and then crush her. "And don't even think about telling me to lie to Celestia. It won't work. She can read me like a fucking book."

"Easy, you won't have to. I'll take care of it. I'll meet her halfway and present her with an explanation, while you return to fair Rarity," the fake Cadance explains. "I'll even take into consideration the witness accounts from the bridesmaids, as well as the memories of the guards you knocked out."

"That doesn't seem like it will..." I start, but the imposter cuts me off.

"Trust me, human. After all, I've been lying to Celestia for days," she assures me with an evil smile, and I swear I hear something like a hiss coming from her throat. A shiver runs down my spine. What the fuck has taken Cadance's place? "Now then, you should run along, before Celestia sees you. I'll make sure she doesn't bother you. Remember, find me in my chambers tonight, at eight. "

With that, the fake Cadance walks out of the room, giving me one last wink before she disappears from my field of vision.

What the fuck. I heave a sigh and leave the room quickly, taking a different path from the fake Cadance. I can't believe I just got persuaded not to turn her in. I mean, it makes sense for me to learn her full plan before turning her in, but...it's a huge risk. Plus, I am damn sure she was trying to seduce me in there. Like, more than Lyra ever thought about doing...I'm actually considering going easy on Lyra in the future. Though I'd have a bit of explaining to do to Lyra. I probably really scared her back there.

What does this assailant have to gain from letting me in on her plan? Maybe she thinks that because I'm different from the ponies, I'd be more open to helping her with...whatever it is she's trying to do? Or maybe she just wants an informant from within the pony ranks...hell, I don't fucking know. All I know is that after I visit her in her chambers tonight and find out what the hell is going on, I'm going to bust her ass straight from here to the moon.

Still thinking about what just happened, I walk back into Rarity's suite, where she's still hard at work remaking the parts of the dress that the fake didn't like. Okay, if I'm going to do this, I can't tell a single one of these ponies what I'm doing, or the first thing they'll do is go straight to Celestia, if they'd even believe me. After all, they don't seem to be listening to Twilight, either.

Twilight. She's the one pony that would believe me, despite the fact that she's too dense to realize that Cadance is an imposter. Still...I'd better leave her out of this. Luckily, these ponies should be easier to lie to if necessary than Celestia. Hopefully lying won't be necessary, however. Omission is all I have to do.

"Where's Twilight?" I ask abruptly, startling Rarity into nearly stitching her own hoof. There's no sign of Twilight anywhere, which can't be a good sign.

"Oh! Seth, I didn't hear you come in. Twilight went to the great hall to check on Pinkie's preparations," Rarity answers, and then she turns fully around to scrutinize me with a concerned expression. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, playing it cool, even though I know I'd left this room being a total ass.

"You were strangely agitated when you left earlier," Rarity reminds me, walking closer to me. "What was the matter?"

"Something about Cadance seemed off," I explain, using as little detail as possible. Though it seems I'll have to lie, at least for now. Everypony will be thanking me by the time this is over. "I guess the stress of the wedding was getting to her. I talked to her for a bit, and she seemed fine."

"Ah, I understand. You were worried about us. At least you understand how the princess feels now," Rarity replies, curving her lips into a smile. "Poor Twilight seems to think it's something more devious. I believe she's simply being paranoid."

"Seriously. I mean, with all this security here, what the hell does she expect to happen? Because even if something is lucky enough to get past that barrier, there's so many guards it makes sabotaging this fucking impossible," I express, even though I know that that fake Cadance has managed to get in regardless of all this security. I hope she explains how she did it when I go to see her later tonight. Then maybe I can barter that information to the guard somehow after I turn her in. Hell, I don't know. The only thing that is certain is that I'm going to bust that imposter's ass.

"Indeed. Anyway, would you be so kind as to help me finish the rest of these dresses? It is almost time to meet the others for dinner," Rarity queries, reaching out a hoof. "I need another spool of lavender thread."

"Got it," I reply, resigning myself to working for just a little bit longer.

---

"Finished!" Rarity declares, stepping back from her work and gazing upon it with pride. Of course, the bride's dress looks the same as it did before, albeit with the changes the fake Cadance asked for. "I just knowthe princess will love this."

"I'm sure she will," I reply without really caring. I'm starting to get restless, because I know what's coming, yet I still have to wait to go do it. The longer I wait, the more uneasy I feel. Now, all of that aside, I realize I'm pretty hungry. "I'm guessing it's time for dinner?"

"That's right! Shall we go and see how the rest have fared in their preparations?" Rarity asks, but it's not really a question, because she's already moving for the door.

"Sure, whatever," I say tersely. My conversation with fake Cadance has really made it so I don't really feel like talking. Not until I know she's taken care of and the old Cadance is back. Speaking of which, where is the old Cadance? Holy shit, she's not dead, is she? I mean, that's a real possibility, because if you're going to assume somebody's identity, you should kill the original first. Fuck...remember when I said history was in the making here? A princess may be dead, so you're damn right history is being made. According to what I've learned, nothing like that has happened...ever.

I follow Rarity absentmindedly, lost in my thoughts. I hate to admit it, but I'm also shaking slightly, without meaning to. I've never been in a situation like this, where a single decision from me can change the fate of an entire country. That's literally what's going on right now. Fuck, this is a lot of pressure.

Rarity leads me down to the castle courtyard, which is a massive open area decorated with grass and stone constructs. There's a table set up in one corner of the area, which seems to already be set up for us, probably by the castle staff. By set up, I mean there's eight glasses of water arranged in a circle on the table. Oh good, I could use some water.

"Seth!" It looks like Rainbow is already there. Of course she is, she wasn't doing much of anything...or was she? Her mane looks stringy and the slightest bit damp, for whatever reason. Don't tell me took a swim somewhere while the rest of us have been working our asses off. "You should have seen the tricks I pulled off today. Can you believe I pulled off a double corkscrew back flip?"

"Nice," I reply uncaringly, which puts a damper on her enthusiasm slightly. Rainbow's smile fades and she looks at me concernedly. I move past her, unzipping and unbuckling my coat. I'm going to be eating, so I don't want to be wearing it. Thankfully, there's a hook on the wall near the table, which allows me to hang the coat there. Now wearing just my sleeveless black shirt, I take a seat at the table, grabbing the nearest glass and gulping down its contents greedily. Whew, I didn't even realize how thirsty I am.

"Hello, Rainbow. You look like you've been working hard," Rarity observes, thankfully saving me from Rainbow's incoming questions.

"You have no idea. I don't think I touched the ground for hours!" Rainbow exclaims, snapping back into bragging mode. "It was a lot of work, but I feel all warmed up and ready, like I could execute a double Sonic Rainboom!"

"That's not even physically possible," I interrupt, looking over at Rainbow incredulously, earning their attention. "The whole theory behind a Sonic Rainboom is that you're breaking the sound barrier. Once you've broken the sound barrier, it's broken. You can't break it again."

"Uh, what are you talking about? What sound barrier?" Rainbow asks dumbly, which causes me to facepalm.

"Seriously? You've been doing Sonic Rainbooms here and there, yet you don't even know the theory behind it?"

"Well, I know I go faster than sound," Rainbow supplies.

"Oh...my god," I groan. Rarity giggles at the both of us, and finally the two of them join me at the table, sitting on either side of me. "The sound barrier is the point when an object, which in this case is you, goes from transonic to supersonic speeds. More literally, it's the increase in air pressure you feel as you get closer and closer to the speed of sound. Don't tell you haven't felt it."

"Oh, that's what that was? I always thought those were the rainbows forming," Rainbow gasps in wonder.

"Christ, you ponies!" My outburst gets the both of them laughing again. As Rainbow laughs, I can't help but notice a pungent smell emanating from her. Oh god, that's really strong. What is that, is that her sweat? It...well, if I admit it to myself, it actually doesn't smell as bad as horses do in my time. I can definitely smell the horse, but the ever present smell of shit isn't there, instead replaced by...something that I can't really describe. "Rainbow, how hard were you working? You smell."

"Wha...I do not!" Rainbow protests, looking offended.

Even Rarity looks at me in exasperation. "Seth, there are some things you just don't say to a..." Rarity suddenly cuts off mid-scolding, taking a whiff of the air. "Actually, he's right. Rainbow..."

"I do not smell! If anything, Seth, you're the one who smells, since you're a..." Rainbow brings, but then she cuts off, smelling herself. She wrinkles her nose, and then she's silent for a good few seconds. Hilariously enough, an embarrassed blush suffuses her cheeks when she realizes that we're both right. "Oh...well...it seems I do."

Just the way she said that gets me laughing, pounding the table with my fist. Even Rarity is chuckling at Rainbow's expense. Every time I think I'm going to stop laughing, I look at Rainbow's blushing face and I start up again, to the point where it gets hard to breathe.

"Sheesh, it's not that funny," Rainbow mutters, scuffing the ground with her hoof. So this is the scene that Fluttershy and Pinkie enter.

The former looks confused at what's going on, while Pinkie zooms over to me and starts laughing obnoxiously as well. A few moments later, Pinkie snorts and asks, "So what are we laughing about?"

"It's Rainbow. She appears to have..." Rarity begins, but then an ice cube nails her right in the nose, courtesy of the red-cheeked Rainbow. "Why, I never! Rainbow Dash, I don't care how you view yourself, but you are still a lady, and ladies do not throw ice cubes!"

Oh god, if I still had access to my social media, I'd make that a favorite quote in an instant. Ladies don't throw ice cubes. That's just funny, and oh my god I can't fucking breathe. You ponies, stop being so entertaining.

"Um...I'm sorry to interrupt, but what's so funny?" Fluttershy inserts, smiling at our merriment. Rainbow glares at us all, daring any one of us to answer her.

"It's Rainbow. She worked too hard, and now she smells," I reveal quickly, and then immediately cross my arms to defend against the veritable storm of ice cubes that Rainbow sends my way.

"Oh, are we tossing ice cubes!?" Pinkie squeals, taking out a glass full of ice from her mane somehow.

"No we're not! Put those away. Rainbow, stop throwing..." Rarity retorts, but then another ice cube soars at her, which she catches with her magic. "Throw one more ice cube at me. I dare you."

"Now, Rainbow worked really hard to make sure the princess has the best wedding possible. I don't think we should make fun of her for it," Fluttershy admonishes us all gently. I consider tossing an ice cube at her, but decide not to.

"Maybe we shouldn't, but that doesn't stop it being funny," I remark. Suddenly, an extreme chill falls down my back, causing me to shudder violently. I shake my shirt, and an ice cube falls out. I glare at Rainbow, her laughing face making it all too obvious who the culprit is. The moment I move, Rainbow bolts from the table, still laughing. "Oh no you fucking don't."

I get up from my chair and chase after Rainbow, grabbing an ice cube as I do so. Behind me, Rarity groans and lets her face hit the tabletop, while Pinkie somehow got a pair of frilly pom-poms, and is wearing a shirt with Rainbow's face on it.

Rainbow takes to the air, flapping her wings furiously. I flare my magic and go airborne as well, determined to pay her back for that little prank. "You're not gonna catch me!" Rainbow calls back. Of course, because she isn't looking ahead of her, she promptly hits the wall on the other side of the courtyard. "Oof!"

I grab the back of her neck and hold her against the wall, a devilish smirk on my face. "Hold on, can you say that one more time? I didn't hear you. Who's not going to catch whom?" I taunt. Rainbow responds by turning her head and spitting out a half melted piece of ice onto my face. "What the...okay, that's it."

I grab the ice cube I took with me and drag it slowly down Rainbow's back, causing her to shudder and yell. "Yeah, how do you like it?"

"What in tarnation is going up there?" I hear Applejack's voice asking from down below. Chuckling, I release Rainbow, noticing with annoyance that my palm is now greasy with her sweat.

"I don't even know," is Rarity's hilarious response.

"Thanks, Rainbow," I say, panting slightly at that sudden exertion. Rainbow turns around and gives me a baleful stare. "No, seriously. I needed to laugh."

"Oh. Well, glad I could help then," Rainbow says, perplexed. "Anyway, let's go back down. I think Applejack brought the food."

"Oh good, I'm hungry."

---

"...a couple hundred dozens of apple fritters, and then finished up the cake. Ah'd say it's goin' great!" Applejack finishes, listing off all the food products that she'd been cooking over the past several hours, while the rest of us eat the food she brought. "Ah think ah'm just about ready."

"I finished the dresses, with Seth's help of course. There was a slight hiccup with the princess, but all in all, I think I did a pretty good job," Rarity rejoins, looking at me appreciatively. Then she regards Fluttershy. "How about you, Fluttershy?"

Before Fluttershy can answer, Twilight enters the courtyard with Spike, though she doesn't happy at all. The first thing she does when she reaches us is slam both hooves on top of the table, nearly knocking over our dishes. "Now, I know what you're all thinking: that Cadance is the worst bride-to-be ever!" Twilight rages. I blink, wondering if she's gone crazy. That wasn't even on my mind at all. Apparently it wasn't on the minds of any of the others either, as they're looking at Twilight as if she's gone crazy.

"Twilight, what ever are you talking about? Cadance is an absolute gem!" Rarity questions, looking somewhat determined. It seems she's planning on stamping out Twilight's paranoia here and now. Even though her paranoia is absolutely justified.

"What? But she demanded so much from you, after you worked so hard!" Twilight demands, but I personally think that's a particularly weak defense.

"But of course! Why shouldn't she have the best on her wedding day?" Rarity returns. Twilight looks like she wants to protest further, but she gives up, and instead turns to Applejack.

"Applejack, did you know she lied to you about liking your food? She threw your gift in the trash on the way out!" Twilight continues, only this time she's talking about something I wasn't there for.

Applejack looks taken aback, but quickly gets over it. "Well, not everypony can like what ah make. She was probably jus' tryin' not ta hurt ma feelins," she says with a shrug.

Twilight gets even more frustrated, and starts addressing each and every one of her friends, looking for support. But no matter what she does, they give her a perfectly reasonable answer that she can't refute without looking possessive of her brother. Finally, she turns to me. "Seth, you were there in Rarity's room. You noticed something was wrong, right? You said as much!"

That gets everypony's attention. They all look at me, waiting for my answer. Shit. After an awkward pause, I raise my hands. "Hey, it's not my problem. I'm only here because I'm being paid to be," I say, choosing not to support or deny her. Twilight's response is to snarl in frustration, rubbing her temples with her hooves.

"Twilight, you must understand. Tomorrow is her wedding! I'm sure anything negative you've seen can be attributed to stress. It's one of the biggest moments of her life, after all," Rarity explains, resting a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.

"It is not stress! She's an awful pony, who doesn't even deserve to talk to Shining Armor, let alone marry him!" Twilight's rage is getting stronger and stronger. Then finally, Applejack says what the rest of them are thinking.

"Don't ya think yer bein' a mite possessive of yer brother?" Applejack asks with a raised eyebrow. Twilight's jaw tightens. Oh shit, she's about to go off the deep end, isn't she? When she speaks again, it starts off calm.

"I am not being possessive of my brother, nor am I taking it out on Cadance. The lot of you are just so caught up in your wedding preparations to even notice that there shouldn't even be a wedding!" Twilight's voice rises to a shout over the course of that statement, and then she once again slams both hooves down on the table, only this time with much more force, to the point where all of our dishes go flying.

Twilight storms away after that, leaving Spike with us. The rest of the ponies look at one another, unsure what to say after a tirade like that.

"This is just getting worse and worse," Rarity observes after a long silence. The other ponies nod and make varying sounds of agreement.

Rarity is right. Things are just going to get worse until I confront the fake Cadance in her room tonight.

The outcome of the wedding rests solely on my shoulders.

---

Author's Note:

Okay, was a bit late for this one, but today's been nuts...but this is an author's note, so nopony cares about that.

Anyway, the first real changes in the canon come in this chapter! Seth knows that Cadance is fake almost immediately, but nopony else seems to catch it, so we got some epic confrontation going on here. Just wait until next chapter though. Chrysalis fans, get ready to be pleased! (I hope)

Assuming things go well, you'll get the chapter tomorrow, at the same time. Make sure to leave a comment and tell me what you think about my changes!