*The beautiful people...OOOHHHHHH….*

-Monday Night Lunacy RETURNS to with a dazzling session of fireworks that pumps up the crowd inside the already infamous Loneyville Asylum. The camera pans across the patrons of the newest craze in sports entertainment, and then cuts to Lunacy's famed announce team, Garble and Ahuizotl!-

Garble: We...are….LIIIIVE! -Gets up from his seat and gazes out at the rabid Lunacy fans- Welcome EVERYBODY….to Monday! Night! LUNACY!

Ahuizotl: I don't know about you, boy, but it seems like it's been AGES since we've sat at this table together!

Garble: -Sits down- I know what you mean, 'Zotl! It's only been a week! I hope you didn't miss me too much Sunday…-winks at his partner- I saw your little MELTDOWN.

Ahuizotl: -sighs- Yes, well...let's put that behind us. I was VERY unprofessional midway through the pay per view last night, and I thank Mr. Discord for picking up the scraps. It was a JOY getting to see his wild antics live. And it was also a joy not having to put up with YOU for once!

Garble: Aww...I love you, too!

Ahuizotl: I must ask, though….how was your brief stay in the...uhh…?

Garble: You know, it actually made PERFECT sense! Last week started with me in the Loneyville Asylum, and it ended with my release from an ACTUAL Asylum! I've come full circle, 'Zotl! By the way, you're WELCOME….

Ahuizotl: For what, boy?

Garble: Pfft. For saving your HIDE. I ate that turnbuckle as a way of taking a BULLET for YOU! I truly am the glue that holds this tandem TOGETHER.

Ahuizotl: I'll be sure to have my people send you the ripest fruit basket possible…-rolls his eyes- Speaking of coming full circle, last night, was the EWF's first EVER pay per view...Proving Grounds!

Garble: It was a shame I wasn't able to make it, but the only 24 inches that took up that white room I was in was the pay per view itself, and it turned out WONDERFULLY!

Ahuizotl: Social media LIT UP at the events of last night's special evening, and the EWF made NATIONAL EQUESTRIAN HEADLINES this morning! We're officially ON THE MAP!

Garble: And I dare ANY SPORT to knock us off! You won't find more bang for your buck than you will here at the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

Ahuizotl: Champions were crowned, partnerships were severed, and legacies were forged last night at Proving Grounds….tonight on Lunacy...the complete FALLOUT from Proving Grounds, including what will be one HELL of a main event! A rematch from last night, to crown the very first Carnage Champion!

Garble: Flitter and Cloudchaser did what ANY manager would do, as they were able to narrowly SAVE the Carnage title from falling into the chromatic clutches of Overdrive. Tonight, Overdrive's eyes are going to have to go into OVER-TIME, as he must keep his eyes on the crafty Rumble, as WELL as the ravishing Roses. That, and much more, TONIGHT!

*Only perfection around….*

-The crowd boos furiously as Star Swirlinaitis and Luna enter the arena. Luna is carrying a black duffel bag in her hands.-

Ahuizotl: I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my composure during this segment….

Garble: Aye, let's not have a repeat of last night. We've got enough tension in this place with the EWF fans wanting these two's heads on a silver platter!

Ahuizotl: Well, the question on EVERYONE's mind is just WHY the hell did these two cost Lightning Dust the Eternal Women's title last night?! Surely that shouldn't be too hard a code for them to decipher!

Garble: Calm down….I'm sure that's why they're out here….

-Lunacy's newest ringer announcer, Madden, takes the microphone-

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome….the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations...STARRR SWIRLINAITIS! And the General Manager of Lunacy...LUUUUNNAAA! -The crowd boos even more-

Garble: Your voice will never be as good as mine, Madden!

-Swirlinaitis holds the ropes open for Luna, and succeeds her in getting in the ring-

Ahuizotl: I wonder what is in that case Luna is holding….

Garble: Probably a raise for yours truly!

Ahuizotl: Aww...thank you for the seal of approval, boy, but this experience is worth all the money in the world….

Garble: What-I-dammit!

-Swirlinaitis grabs a microphone, as the fans rain down chants of "YOU SCREWED LIGHTNING" along with their trademark 5 claps-

Swirlinaitis: My name….is Mr. Star Swirlinaitis….-boos-...I am the Executive Vice President...of Talent Relations….I would like to, on the behalf of the Board of Directors, thank the EWF Univeveve..Universe -the crowd cracks up. Even Luna is having a hard time holding in her laughter- for ordering Proving Grounds! -Throws a thumbs up into the air, and hands the mic to Luna-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! -Snickers-

Garble: STOP LAUGHING, YOU INGRATES! THAT MAN WILL BE SIGNING THE CONTRACTS OF THE SUPERSTARS OF TOMORROW!

Luna: Yesterday...was a turning point for sports entertainment…-the crowd begins to boo again- the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is making moves in the national sports world, and it is all thanks to our loyal fans, like the ones here tonight! -Luna smiles wide, but the crowd isn't buying it. Swirlinaitis claps- Yesterday was the first step, in the Revolution! And tonight, that Revolution will continue, and we thank you all for being a part of it…..

Crowd: WE WANT LIGHTNING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT LIGHTNING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: There are things businessmen like Mr. Swirlinaitis, and business women like me must do, to insure that the EWF stays on track, to make sure that Monday Night Lunacy is kept PURE and SACRED...for YOUR viewing pleasure, and last night...we took extreme measures. We defended the longevity of not only this BRAND, but this entire COMPANY! Only ONE thing needed to be done, only ONE THING to bring forth the motto….of Best...for BUSINESS. -boos- And that was to make sure, that Lightning Dust did NOT walk out of Proving Grounds, your Eternal Women's World Champion…..

Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

Luna: Lightning Dust is, simply put, a PUNK. She didn't give you fans the respect that you DESERVE! She made FOOLS out of you! She never won a single match as champion, and she won the title through COWARDLY means! -massive boos- You cheer for her only because she has a care-free attitude….she doesn't care about the rules! You all wish you could defy your bosses at work, but you CAN'T, because they sign your CHECKS! She was the most DISRESPECTFUL representative that Lunacy could've HAD as champion, and she never gave a DAMN about you fans! She never gave your loyalty any attention...is was ALWAYS about...herSELF….that's not how it should be!

Crowd: LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS!

Luna: Twilight Sparkle brings credibility BACK to the Eternal Women's championship. She brings HONOR and RESPECT...to the Eternal Women's championship. And she will DEFEND it with DIGNITY! She will not turn her back on you, the EWF fans! She is….the PEOPLE's….CHAMPION. Truly...Twilight Sparkle IS….Best….for BUSINESS. -so many boos-

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Luna: She has the ENTIRE EWF Board of Directors...STAMP of APPROVAL. Enough praise from us for now, however. Tonight, you will see YOUR CHAMPION...in all of her glory...LIVE, when she gives her Championship Address! -boos-

Ahuizotl: That's gonna be a sight to behold for sure! I'd like to see Twilight's take on all of this…

Garble: I'm sure she's ADULATED that she is held in such high regard by the lovely Ms. Luna!

Swirlinaitis: Now...onto more Business at hand….last night, Cadance defeated Sunset Shimmer, to become the very FIRST Crater Chick Champion! -mixture of boos and cheers- It was a classic match. Cadance fought through the pain of an earlier leg injury and eked out a win in the end. However, the good news ends there….after getting her leg crushed in between a steel chair by Sunset herself, the EWF medical staff ran some tests, and, me and General Manager Luna...have the utmost responsibility to let you all know, that Cadance is currently suffering from a hairline fracture in her ankle, and could be out of action for a maximum of 4 months.

Ahuizotl: That's a shame…

Garble: So, what now?

Luna: Fortunately, Cadance is a tough gal, and will recover fully. The unfortunate news is that a championship MUST be defended at LEAST ONCE A MONTH. In the case of Cadance, that just ISN'T going to happen. With that in mind, we would like Sunset Shimmer to come down to the ring at ONCE.

*And now...it's all over now…* -Many a cheer is heard as Sunset Shimmer makes her way down to the ring with a scowl on her face-

Ahuizotl: I find it despicable what this woman did to Cadance last night! She's targeted her and her boyfriend Shining Armor for a month now, and injuring her leg seemed to be the final blow!

Garble: I'm sure Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis will handle it accordingly. Whatever they do, I'm sure it will be Best For Business!

Ahuizotl: -groans- I REALLY hope that doesn't catch on…

Garble: If the Lunacy fans get ahold of it, you bet your ass it will!

-Sunset enters the ring, glaring down her superiors-

-Luna is about to speak, but Sunset snatches the mic from her, causing the crowd to cheer-

Sunset: As satisfying as it was to break Cadance's leg last night...NOTHING would make me happier than to TEAR YOU TWO APART after what you did! -crowd erupts with cheers as Swirlinaitis grabs an extra mic- So what the hell do you two want?

Swirliniaits: We wanted you out here Ms. Shimmer...to conGRATULATE you….-Sunset raises an eyebrow and Luna nods- For the past month, you have proven yourself to be the most RUTHLESS and VILE competitor in all of the EWF...you've nearly torn apart relationships, whether it be tag teams or more PERSONAL ones. You've perpetrated MANY a evil deed, all to become the Crater Chick champion….

Sunset: Thank you for the exposition! Get to the climax.

Luna: What Mr. Swirlinaitis is trying to say is….we fully respect that, and YOU. -crowd boos, as Sunset smirks and shakes her head- We understand that you are friends with Lightning Dust, and we have no problem with you looking out for her. That's not ALL we respect, though. We respect that you are willing to do ANYTHING to succeed in this business. A cut-throat business, no doubt.

Sunset: Soooo...what? You gonna give me a medal?

Luna: Not quite. You will be given something MUCH better. As stated, with Cadance injured, there is NO Crater Chick Champion as of right now….we feel that that this should change. Hold this, Mr. Swirliniaits…-Luna hands him her mic, and picks up the leather duffel bag from the floor. Swirlinaitis puts the mic in front of her mouth as Luna begins unzipping it- Sunset Shimmer….on behalf of myself, and Mr. Swirlinaitis...we would like to present to YOU...the Crater...Chick...Championship! -Luna pulls out the title, and hands it to Sunset-

Ahuizotl: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Garble: What a great move by our WONDERFUL management! Sunset Shimmer TOOK out the champion, that means she has claimed it for herself!

Ahuizotl: That's the dumbest logic I've ever heard! She didn't earn that title!

Garble: Umm, are you not paying attention? Luna just GAVE it to her!

Ahuizotl: That doesn't mean she deserves it! By your logic, anybody could come out here right now, beat you up, and take your commentary spot!

Garble: A commentary spot isn't a championship, 'Zotl! Also, I could take on ANYBODY in this audience! Why can't you be happy for the NEW Crater Chick champion?!

-Sunset Shimmer takes a long look at the title, before mashing her lips into it-

Ahuizotl: I am going to be sick….

-Swirlinaitis and Luna clap. Luna stands to the right of Sunset, and Swirlinaitis stands to the left. They both raise a hand of hers as Sunset is grasping the Crater Chick title in her right hand-

Swirlinaitis: Ladies and gentlemen...your NEW...Crater Chick CHAMPION….SUNSET….SHIMMER! -The crowd is silent, not sure whether to cheer or boo. The three in the ring however are ecstatic, Sunset grinning manically-

Ahuizotl: This crowd is in a hush…. -Sunset Shimmer's theme plays-

Garble: They're just being respectful to this show's authority, as well as the new holder of the Crater Chick championship!

Ahuizotl: I think they realize that everything has just gone to crap…

Garble: WHAT?! I think this show is better than ever with the "Best For Business" motto at the helm!

Ahuizotl: Why don't you go join them in the ring then, you puppet?

Garble: Because the fans at home will change the channel without me at the booth. I'm fine with showing my respect right where I am! -Garble stands up, and claps furiously-

Ahuizotl: Please get well soon, Cadance….I don't know how much of this I can take….

-The scene fades as Luna, Sunset, and Swirlinaitis leave the ring. We cut backstage to that Shining Armor has watched this whole scene unfold. He is rubbing his temples. He then pulls out his cell phone and dials a number-

Shining: Ponyville Urgent Care? … Yes...can you put me on with Cadance? … Thank you. … Hi, sweetie! Did you see what happened out there? … -frowns- I know, I know, it's not fair in the slightest! … No, baby, don't stress yourself too much. You don't want to put any more strain on your ankle. … I know how ticked off you are. I'm pretty pissed myself! … I will make you proud, baby. Every match I have from now until you come back I am dedicating to YOU. … I have no idea what I'm going to do about Flash...we haven't talked since during, well, your match...I'm so worried, though. This bitch is trying to take EVERYTHING from us! … I don't know what I can do about it...I mean, I shouldn't hit a woman, no matter how much she deserves it… … -chuckles- Alright then, it's settled! I'll spare her for you! … I miss you, too, you have no idea! I'll be right over as soon as the show is done, alright? … It's a date. I love you, too.. -hangs up, and then stressfully falls back in front of his locker room cubby, putting his hands over his face-

*Commercial break*

-As we come back from break, we see that Lyra is in the ring, ready for action. Bon Bon is on the apron rubbing her shoulders. She then gives her a good luck kiss and the men in the audience cheer and wolf whistle.-

Ahuizotl: At least I can look forward to the cute relationship of Lyra and Bon Bon.

Garble: That always brightens the mood. Not that my mood needed brightened anyway!

Ahuizotl: Lyra will be making her singles debut tonight. Her and Bon Bon both were eliminated in the battle royal, and a few weeks ago Bon Bon defeated Twist. Let's see who Lyra is facing tonight….

*Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true!* -Mostly boos, but a few wackos are cheering-

Garble: Can it be?! THERE'S NO WAY THERE'S NO WAY THERE'S NO WAY!

-Diamond Tiara comes out WITHOUT HER NECKBRACE, flanked by Silver Spoon and Turf-

Garble: I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER! IT'S DIAMOND TIARA!

Madden: AND her opponent! Accompanied to the ring, by the NEEEWWW...Chick Combo CHAMPIOOONNSSSS...Turf, and SILVERRR SPOOOONN! From LONEYVILLE….weighing in at 117 pounds….DIIIAAAMMOONNDD….TIIIAARAAA!

Garble: BEST LUNACY EVER! I NEED OXYGEN!

Ahuizotl: Calm down, fanboy…

Garble: HOW DARE YOU. Diamond Tiara is BACK for in-ring competition, and you show NO INTEREST!

Ahuizotl: I am interested in EVERY match. I just don't feel the need to overexaggerate during an ENTRANCE. Wait until she wins, for God's sake…

Garble: WHAT-I-WHAT-I-WHAT-I-AAAAAHHH! -kicks his feet against the announce table-

Turf: -Holding her tag team title high in the air- The Mean Girls have ARRIVED...BITCHES! BERRY PUNCH IS A WORTHLESS ALCOHOLIC, AND SCOOTALOO IS AN ORPHAN! YOU LOVE THEM BOTH, AND WE BEAT THEM BOTH!

-Silver Spoon snickers, and high fives her partner-

Ahuizotl: I would love to have Turf over for dinner….

Garble: She's like one of those trickshotters on Call of Duty...but sexier.

Ahuizotl: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Garble: Pfftt. You fossil.

-Diamond Tiara blows a kiss to the crowd, which causes them to boo even more. She then signals for Lyra to "get out of her spotlight." She throws one hand high up in the air, and slides her other hand down her side-

Ahuizotl: Non-the-less, as spoiled as these three act, they are the most successful tandem in the EWF, that is for sure. Last night, Silver Spoon and Turf, no matter the circumstances, became the first ever Chick Combo champions.

Garble: It was so inspirational, that Diamond Tiara was able to come off of the injured reserve! YAY!

Ahuizotl: I know for a fact that Scootaloo is here tonight, however, and I have a feeling that she WILL get answers from the woman who left her high and dry last night...Berry Punch.

Garble: That's LATER, though, 'Zotl! For now, let's ENJOY the RETURN of the one, the ONLY, DIAMOND TIARA!

Match 1: Lyra w/ Bon Bon vs Diamond Tiara w/ Turf and Silver Spoon

-Immediately, as the bell rings, Turf and Silver Spoon move over to the other side of the ring to chastise Bon Bon-

Turf: Hey, CARPET MUNCHER! You and your CORGI CUNT CLIT-COLLIDER will NEVER be champions!

Silver Spoon: NEVER! -She and Turf laugh as they shove their titles in Bon Bon's face-

-Lyra notices this, and uses the ropes to send her feet flying at Turf and Silver Spoon. They hit directly, knocking down Bon Bon's oppressors.-

Ahuizotl: Good for you, Lyra! Stand up for your girl!

Garble: I suppose they were asking for it. Lyra needs to pay attention to the match, though!

-Lyra leans over the first and middle ropes, hugging her girl. Diamond Tiara uses this opportunity to rush at Lyra. She launches her feet similar to how Lyra did to her besties just moments ago. The momentum causes Lyra's ribcage to crash into the middle rope, and then her back to reverb into the top rope. The crowd "OH's" in response.-

Garble: I told her to watch out. X's and O's can wait until AFTER you win!

Ahuizotl: I can't argue with you, boy. A mistake by Lyra that was. And now Diamond Tiara is taking advantage…

-Diamond Tiara sits Lyra in a seated position, and drives her knee into her back, grabbing her arms and pulling them back to apply more pressure. All the while, Bon Bon has her hands over her mouth in a mortified fashion.-

*7 minutes later…*

-Diamond Tiara attempts to hit the Diamond Cutter by the ropes, but Lyra counters by shoving her into the turnbuckle. When Diamond turns around, Lyra kicks her in the gut, and cranes her neck-

Ahuizotl: Feeding off her obsession of Corgis, Lyra is about to hit the Corgscrew Neckbreaker!

Garble: Ugh...what a stupid name….

-Lyra begins to twist her body, but at the last second, Diamond reaches out her hand and grabs the middle rope, in turn causing Lyra to front-flip herself and crash in burn into the mat-

Garble: Incredible ring presence by Diamond Tiara! She literally just made Lyra hit her on move on HERSELF!

Ahuizotl: Can she reap the rewards, though?

-Lyra quickly gets up, though she is holding her back. And when she turns around, she is met by the full frame of Diamond Tiara running at her-

*DIAMOND CUTTER!*

Garble: You're damn right she can! Diamond Cutter by the brightest diamond of all!

*1….2…..3!* -the crowd boos as the bell rings-

Garble: She did it! What a contest! What a win! Diamond Tiara is a champion in the making!

Madden: Here is your winner...DIIIAAAMMOONDD..TIIIIAARRAAAAA!

Ahuizotl: I'll give her a lot of credit. Diamond hasn't been in action since the first episode of Lunacy, but she showed absolutely NO ring rust.

Garble: Of course she didn't, 'Zotl! She's the Queen! She will NEVER disappoint me!

-Diamond turns her back on Lyra, and swipes her feet across the mat-

Ahuizotl: She's still as rotten as ever…

Garble: Never change, DT!

-Turf and Silver Spoon enter the ring, applauding their bestie, as Bon Bon leads Lyra out of the ring-

Ahuizotl: Now that Diamond Tiara is healthy enough to wrestle, Scootaloo will, and I mean WILL get her hands on her!

Garble: That's fine. Diamond Tiara won't back down from ANYBODY! She's got the heart of a lion, and the body of a GODDESS!

-Turf and Silver each raise one of Diamond's hands, while raising their own titles high with their other hand-

Turf: Stay away from us, ScootaNOOB, if you KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

Ahuizotl: Once again, would LOVE to see that woman at my dinner table…

Garble: She's too good for the likes of YOU. ALL women are!

Ahuizotl: I'm sure you don't get no tail with that clunker of a car I see you leaving the show with every week…

Garble: I-...it's my sister's….

Ahuizotl: -Chuckles- Even worse!

-Diamond Tiara flips her hair, and snaps her fingers, signaling that it's time to blow the peasants' playhouse-

*Now trending on Twitter: #BestForBusiness, #DTxGarbleOTP, Lightning Dust, Sunset Shimmer*

-We cut backstage to Luna's office, where she is chatting with Swirlinaitis and Sunset Shimmer-

Luna: I understand we aren't on the best terms, Sunset, but I hope we can put our differences aside to make sure that the Crater Chick championship is a valued asset to the Lunacy brand.

Sunset: Eh, you're probably right. After all, Lightning Dust is a tough girl..she can fight her own battles. -crowd boos- I've got MY career to worry about, too, after all.

Swirlinaitis: Precisely! That is why we chose YOU. We knew that you'd be the one to bring RUTHLESS AGGRESSION to the EWF, and so far, you haven't failed us yet.

Sunset: And I don't plan on failing you EVER. Thank you for this opportunity.

Luna: Oh, there's no need to thank us, Sunset...we know talent when we see it, and YOU, my dear...are truly…-looks at Swirlinaitis, and says along with him- BEST...for BUSINESS.

Sunset: Heh. So is that the whole slogan for this operation?

Swirlinaitis: Yes! We're going to make t-shirts!

Sunset: Hope some minimum wage losers are currently thinking up t-shirt designs for ME, as well...the champ deserves the BEST merchandise.

Luna: Yes, of course, Sunset. Speaking of your title, tonight, there will be a number 1 contender's match to decide who will be facing YOU at our next Pay Per View….Retribution.

Sunset: Sounds good to me. I hope they are WORTHY of being in the ring with me. I need PROPER competition.

Luna: Hmmm..how about Rarity and Midnight Strike?

Swirlinaitis: Oh! I like that!

Sunset: So do I. Then again, whoever wins, WON'T like getting in the ring with ME…-chuckles-

Luna: It is official, then! Oh, one more thing...as I said, me and Mr. Swirlinaitis DO keep track of the talent here in the EWF, and one tag team on Lunacy has impressed us IMMENSELY these past few weeks….

Sunset: Who would that be?

Luna: Snips and Snails. Your...boys, should we call them?

Sunset: Yeah...yeah, that sounds about right. My ERRAND boys.

Luna: -Giggles- Ever-the-less, they are UNDEFEATED as a team. We feel that is worthy of a shot at the Combo of Carnage tag team championships.

Sunset: I would agree. They've been VERY obedient….

Luna: Of course, NOTHING is handed out here in the EWF. So, Snips and Snails will have to EARN their right to be in this title match.

Sunset: They are up for the challenge. After I "inspire" them...in my own way. Who will they be facing?

Swirlinaitis: We could think of no better opponents than their greatest rivals. Shining Armor, and your boyfriend, Flash Sentry.

Sunset: Aww! I would just LOVE to be a champion alongside my boopsy! That sounds WONDERFUL! Would you be against adding ONE more catalyst to that match, though?

Luna: Sure, we're all ears...what is i-

-The discussion is ceased by the entrance of Overdrive- -most of the crowd boos-

Swirlinaitis: Oh! Hello, Overdrive.

Overdrive: -breathing heavily- May I have a word with you…? -glancing between Luna and Swirlinaitis-

Luna: Could you excuse us for a moment, Sunset? We'll talk later.

Sunset: -turns to look at Overdrive- It would be MY pleasure….-knocks on the metal half of his chest, snickering and exiting the room. Overdrive is not phased-

Luna: What do you need, Overdrive?

Overdrive: It's a very simple request. I know I have a title match tonight….but I don't want it to go down like it did last night…

Luna: That would be a tragedy. A champion MUST be crowned! What do you propose?

Overdrive: I want Rumble….but I want those two SKANKS that flank his sides each and every week, too!

Swirlinaitis: Flitter and Cloudchaser?

Overdrive: -breaths deeply- ….YES. I want ALL of them. Those two cost me the title...let's see if they can take it from me when I'm looking at them from ACROSS THE RING.

Luna: You know what? You've got it! Tonight, the Carnage Championship WILL be on the line, when you face Rumble, Flitter, AND Cloudchaser! I just hope you know what you're getting into….

Overdrive: I hope they know what THEY'VE gotten into…-walks out of the office without another word. Luna and Swirlinaitis glance at each other-

Garble: This could either be REALLY stupid, or REALLY smart by Overdrive.

Ahuizotl: I think it's VERY smart. He now has Flitter and Cloudchaser where he can see them! It will surely be harder for them to pull a fast one on him.

Garble: I think he forgot about Bulk Biceps, though...not sure how that's possible, considering how BIG he is….

Ahuizotl: Nonetheless, that is our main event for tonight, and it is HUGE!

*I swear I won't tease you...won't tell you no lies!* -MASSIVE BOOS-

Ahuizotl: FUCK!

Garble: Must...resist...eating...TURNBUCCKKAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Madden shoves the microphone in his mouth, falling over in the ring-

-Every fan in the arena LITERALLY TURNS THEIR BACK ON TWIST FOR HER ENTIRE ENTRANCE-

Garble: Smartest people in America right here! -He and Ahuizotl do the same-

Ahuizotl: The polarizing Twist is in action NEXT.

Garble: I CAN'T EVEN SEE HER AND I STILL WANNA PUKE!

*Commercial break*

-When we come back, we see Honeycomb already in the ring, trying her best to avoid Twist's rump shake-

Garble: Isn't there some way we could be on commercial long enough for this match to end?

Ahuizotl: Unfortunately not. At least we are not alone in being punished with this every week.

Garble: Why us, though? I'm a good boy!

Ahuizotl: We are ALL too good to have to go through this…

Garble: I wouldn't wish a Twist match on my worst enemy…

Ahuizotl: Who IS your worst enemy?

Garble: Well RIGHT NOW TWIST!

Match 2: Twist vs Honeycomb

-Twist dry humps the middle turnbuckle pad-

Garble: Oh God end the SUFFERING. BRING UPON THE EQUESTRIAN HOLOCAUST. DO SOMETHING.

Ahuizotl: WE ARE MAKING HEADLINES FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!

-Honeycomb apparently shares the sorrow, but she ends it by running towards Twist. She jumps in the air, grabs the top turnbuckle with both hands, extends her feet out in front of her, and lets go at full force. The end result is both of her feet colliding with Twist's head, and sending the back of her head into the mat with authority-

Crowd: OOOHHHHH!

-Honeycomb rolls backwards after the velocity-

Garble: Haha! That was amazing!

Ahuizotl: And ABSOLUTELY worth all of the suffering before-hand!

Garble: I don't know about that...but DAMN! What a move by Honeycomb!

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: The crowd agrees, and rightfully so!

-Honeycomb grabs Twist by her arms, and pulls the rest of her body off of the turnbuckle and into the middle of the ring. She doesn't wanna touch her leg, so she substitutes by simply putting her own leg over Twist's chest-

*1….2….3!* -MASSIVE pop-

Garble: DING! DONG! THE...uhh...THING IS DEAD!

Madden: Here is your winner….HOOOONNEEYYCCOOOOMMBBB!

Ahuizotl: A nice win for Honeycomb! The German judges give her a TEN on her landing of that move, too!

Garble: Let's see it again...from EVERY angle!

*Garble's wish is the production crew's command!*

-We cut back from the replays to see Honeycomb putting a hand over her heart in relief.-

Honeycomb: Thew...glad that's over…

Crowd: THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: And now RELISH in your cheers, for you, Honeycomb, are our hero of the week!

-Garble and Ahuizotl join in on the chant, as Honeycomb goes up to the top rope and throws her fists in the air triumphantly-

Ahuizotl: Tonight's the night of debuts, folks! Let's go backstage to our new interview correspondent….Silver Shill!

*Interview area*

Silver Shill: Thank you, Ahuizotl. Hello, EWF fans. I am Silver Shill. And right now, I am here with Rarity, and the newest member of the Lunacy roster...Fluttershy! Hello, gals.

Rarity: Hello, dahling. It's a pleasure to be here...and to still have all of my teeth intact. -giggles-

Fluttershy: Ummm…-cowers a bit-...h-hi….

Silver: I have questions for both of you, but first, Fluttershy. How do you feel about being here on Lunacy?

Fluttershy: -Perks up a little- Oh...I'm happy, but also a little bit sad. I'm glad, for one, that I won't have to fight Colgate. -shivers- I'm also happy that I can spend more time with great friends like Rarity, and Twilight. I don't care WHAT happened last night. Twilight IS an amazing friend. -Rarity nods- Though, I'm sad that I had to leave my other friends, like Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash behind. -lowers her head- I wish that they could've come with me….

Rarity: Awww...don't worry, dear. Me and Twilight are here to watch your back! And the 5 of us KNOW you're going to make us ALL proud of you! -Hugs Fluttershy-

Silver: -can't help but smile- Now, Rarity. Two questions for you. One, how do YOU feel about Colgate being traded to Sublime?

Rarity: Well, obviously I am OVERJOYED to have one of my best friends, Fluttershy here with me. But to be honest, I truly was looking forward to the feud-settling match between myself and Colgate. She is quite loony, but I'd be lying if I didn't say she is a SPECTACULAR athlete, and quite a wonderful opponent to have. She brought the best out of me. I look forward to watching her matches with all of the wonderful Sublime superstars. -Smiles-

Silver: And now, your comments on your upcoming match with Midnight Strike?

Rarity: Ah, yes. Looking forward to that match. Me and Midnight have both had some tough times here in the early stages of our wrestling endeavors. Tonight is going to bring forth a new path for one of us. Now, I am not a betting woman, nor do I like to count my gems before they're bedazzled, but I do in fact PLAN on winning this match. Fluttershy will be at ringside with me, and she will give me the strength I need to pull out a win, and at Retribution, she will be at ringside yet AGAIN, and she and the entire wrestling world will see ME...put that RUFFIAN Sunset Shimmer in. Her. PLACE! -crowd cheers- -Giggles- I do wish Midnight good luck, however. -Nods at Silver Shill, and walks off with Fluttershy-

Silver: Thank you for your time, girls….-looks at the camera- And that match, wrestling fans...is NEXT!

*Commercial break*

Madden: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is to determine the number 1 contender to the Crater Chick Championship at Retributiiiooon! -crowd cheers, obviously pumped for this match-

*Ehehehe….everybody come see the greatest show…* -decent cheers-

-Midnight Strike comes out with The Oddities, obviously more happy than she usually is-

Madden: Introducing FIRST! From CLOOOUUDSSSDAALLLEEE! Weighing in at 157 pounds, accompanied by THE ODDITIEEESSS! MMMIIIDNIIIGHTT STRRIIIKKEEEE!

Ahuizotl: It's wonderful to see Midnight happy for once! She's gotta be pretty happy after getting her FIRST victory last night at Proving Grounds!

Garble: And what a 24 hour period it could be if she could beat Rarity here tonight. I'm sure Sunset Shimmer will be watching this contest with all the attention she has to give!

Ahuizotl: She seems to have enough confidence to where she thinks whoever wins will be a cake-walk for her.

Garble: Despite both Midnight and Rarity not having the best records in the EWF thus far, they would both be FAR from a cake-walk for Rarity.

Ahuizotl: Umm...don't you mean Sunset?

Garble: ...MADDEN DO YOUR JOB.

*Everybody's starry eyed...and everybody glows….OH!* -many a cheer to be heard-

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! From LONNEEYYVVILLE! Weighing in at 127 POOUUNNDSSS...accompanied by FLUTTERSHYYYYYY! RAAARRRIITTTYYYYYY!

Ahuizotl: The matches between Rarity and Colgate will one day be LEGENDARY in the EWF. Those two absolutely GELLED together!

Garble: They were magic, that's for sure! In fact, so good that Rarity vs Colgate's 2nd ever clash, their Iron Woman clinic, was voted the BEST match of the month of January! You can see all of the other winners and nominees by going to !

Crowd: LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: The crowd is FULLY behind Rarity….not surprising, considering the CLASSICS she has bestowed upon these fans.

-Rarity and Midnight meet in the middle of the ring, and shake hands- -more cheers are heard-

Garble: We could have another classic in the making….

Match 3: Rarity w/ Fluttershy vs Midnight Strike w/ The Oddities

Ahuizotl: I just noticed something...Bill Neigh is unnaturally NOT out here with his Oddity brethren.

Garble: Huh, you're right….that's odd….

Ahuizotl: I wonder where he is…

Garble: Probably teaching some kindergartner what Lysosomes do…

*6 minutes later…*

-Rarity climbs up to the top rope after levelling Midnight with a Michinoku Driver, of which she kicked out at 2-

Ahuizotl: Rarity is more of a technical wrestler, so her going up to the top rope is uncharacteristic of her…

Garble: When a title shot is on the line, you've got to go out of the norm at points.

-Rarity turns around, but before she can hit whatever she was thinking, Midnight runs up and catches her with an Enziguri, knocking Rarity for a loop and sending her butt first on the turnbuckle-

Ahuizotl: A good counter by Midnight! She too knows how important this match is.

-Midnight quickly gets on the apron, and climbs on the top rope with Rarity, clasping her hands around her abdomen-

Garble: We may see a top-rope powerbomb right here!

-Garble was correct. Midnight flips herself over Rarity, attempting to use the momentum to drive Rarity into the mat back first. Rarity, though, grabs onto the top turnbuckle at the last second, which causes Midnight to overflip herself and land right on her face-

Crowd: OHHH!

Ahuizotl: Beautiful! Rarity saw it coming!

-Rarity waits for Midnight to get up before launching herself off of the top rope-

Garble: And she's going for the Tornado DD-AAHHH! SHE CAUGHT HER! MIDNIGHT CAUGHT HER!

-Midnight, now with Rarity in the air, runs around the ring with her a few times, the crowd's "OHHH" getting louder and louder with each rotation. After 3 rotations, Midnight charges at the ropes, and LAUNCHES Rarity right on top of them, climaxing the crowd's "OHHH!"

Ahuizotl: MY GOD! WONDERFUL COUNTERS ALL AROUND!

-Rarity was able to grab the middle rope to avoid falling out of the ring, but that wasn't enough to stop her bouncing on the top rope like a quick moving wave in the middle of an ocean-

Garble: Rarity hangs on...but DAMN it must hurt on that top rope! The FORCE that Midnight chucked her with!

Ahuizotl: But she's not done yet!

-Midnight bounces off the ropes, and jumps in MID-AIR, catching Rarity with a reverse Fameasser on the way down, successfully knocking her off of the top rope. The crowd shows their approval by going nuts-

Ahuizotl: What a sequence of moves! The powerbomb counter by Rarity, the Tornado DDT counter by Midnight, and then the TOTAL ANNIHILATION of Rarity! This is all for a shot at the Crater Chick Championship!

Garble: And this match hasn't even been going for more than 8 minutes!

-Midnight turns Rarity over, and hooks her leg-

*1…..2…-KICKOUT- -the crowd furiously claps at the events that have just taken place, as Midnight mentally curses-

Ahuizotl: It's not over yet! Not by a LONG shot!

*7 minutes later…*

-Midnight goes for The Clock Strikes, but Rarity escapes and attempts to hit Midnight with a Northern Lights Suplex. When she vaults Midnight over her head, however, Midnight escapes Rarity's clutches, and on the way down, grabs her neck and hits a DEVASTATING neckbreaker on Rarity! Rarity lands RIGHT ON TOP OF HER HEAD, and winds up flopping on her belly. Once again, the crowd is erupting in cheers-

Garble: You've GOT TO BE KIDDING MEEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: SPECTACULAR. Did I say that before? I think I may have...I can't help it! I'm at a loss for words! These two just keep giving each other all they've GOT!

-The crowd erupts in applause once again and Midnight goes for ANOTHER cover-

*1…..2….-KICK OUT AT 2 AND A HALF! The crowd can't believe it!-

Garble: What else can they do….?

Ahuizotl: They're gonna FIGHT until one of them CAN'T kick out! And whoever gets that pin, will damn well DESERVE IT!

*6 MORE minutes later…*

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Drenched in sweat, riddled with frustration, Midnight Strike goes up to the top rope, her sights TRULY set on VICTORY-

Ahuizotl: If Midnight misses this move, I think it's over! It HAS got to be ALL or NOTHING for Midnight Strike!

Garble: Yup! She's one move away from earning the title shot! I can FEEL it!

-Midnight dives off the top rope, looking to hit the Flying Headbutt. At the last second, however, Rarity lifts her boot in the air, and Midnight's face cannot avoid smashing into it, as the crowd gives yet another unanimous "OHHH!"-

Garble: That's going to do it! Midnight won't recover from that counter by Rarity! There's NO WAY!

-Rarity stirs to her feet, and picks Midnight up, looking for the finishing blow-

*SEQUIN SPECIAL!*

Ahuizotl: The Sequin Special! Garble, you are CORRECT! Rarity, into the cover- -the crowd is on their FEET as they count along-

*1….2….3!* -an enormous pop-

Garble: She did it! She did it! Rarity is going to Retribution!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….and the Number 1 Contender..for the Crater Chick CHAMPIONSHIIIPP...Raarriitttyyy!

Ahuizotl: What a PHYSICAL, GRUELING, yet MASTERFUL match wrestled by these two SUPERB athletes! We said whoever got that pin DESERVED it, and after that SPELL-BINDING performance….Rarity has EARNED IT. If Sunset Shimmer wasn't watching before...she is NOW.

Garble: She better be, because her first title defense, may turn out to be her toughest one EVER.

-Fluttershy enters the ring, and excitedly hugs Rarity-

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, Rarity! YOU WON!

Rarity: I told you, dahling….just your presence at ringside would give me the strength I needed….thank you…

Ahuizotl: Enjoy the victory, Rarity and Fluttershy….for it only gets tougher from here!

Garble: Will she EVER have a bad match?

Ahuizotl: In front of THIS crowd? Never.

-The crowd continues to applaud Rarity's stellar performance, as Fluttershy and Rarity continue to celebrate. Even The Oddities show their respect outside the ring.-

*Commercial break*

-Back from commercial break, we see Bill Neigh in the ring wearing a nice suit as a generic rock track plays in the background. Behind him is an old school chalkboard, and in front of him is a desk. An apple sits on it-

Ahuizotl: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back here on Monday Night Lunacy, and we are being joined in the ring by...Bill Neigh?

Garble: I guess he IS here, after all. Looks like he's going back to his roots.

Ahuizotl: For those who couldn't tell, Bill is a former college professor. He was SUPPOSED to be out here earlier with The Oddities in support of Midnight Strike.

-Bill straightens his tie, and grabs the microphone off of his desk-

Bill: Hello, my students….it is I, William Nyeker, YOUR teacher….-he picks up a piece of chalk and underlines his name on the chalkboard, which was written on there beforehand-

Ahuizotl: ...Nyeker?

Garble: At least now his name doesn't sound like a horse!

Bill: And in MY classroom...it's not how HARD you work...it's how SMART -points at his head- you work...and unfortunately for all of you, you do not seem very smart….-crowd begins to boo-

Ahuizotl: What a sudden change in personality….

Garble: Yeah. Who the hell pissed on his urinal cake?

Bill: -picks up a yardstick from the chalkboard and slams it on his desk- QUIET, CLASS! -the crowd boos even more- Need I remind you of rule NUMERO UNO? That's Spanish for ONE, by the way….in Mr. Nyeker's class room...you do not SPEAK...unless I CALL on you! I'm going to have to assign you all detentions if you continue with your nonsensical interruptions….-more boos-...thank you.

Ahuizotl: They're still booing…

Garble: Shhh. The teacher's talking!

Bill: You are all here today to RE-learn, a VERY important lesson….SCHOOL...is COOL. -boos- Without proper education, you all would CEASE...to FUNCTION. By the looks on your faces, most of you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about...that's fine, that's fine...I anticipated that. We will be doing this once a week. There will be NO Spring Break, and NO 3 month Summer vacation! -massive boos- My classroom NEVER lets out! You NEVER stop learning! -Puts his hands up- I know that right now...you are all too ignorant to fully grasp...the opportunity that I have bestowed upon you; but when all is said and done...you will THANK me. For I...am your ONLY HOPE..the only BEACON OF LIGHT, that is going to reduce you people from SLOBBERING...ILLITERATE….BUFFOONS. -more boos-...to at least SEMI-employable sapiens, with a probability of a whopping SIXTY PERCENT, to lead a susceptible life... -smirks- THAT is my goal, as your superior. It may take a while...but NO STUDENT...has EVER failed MY CLASSROOM.

Ahuizotl: This is damn near UNBEARABLE.

Garble: -gasp- That was a 4 syllable word, 'Zotl! -claps giddily- You're already learning!

Ahuizotl: Ugh...when is recess?

Bill: Today's lesson...is to FOLLOW your DREAMS. I left the circus, so I could come back here, and make functionally cerebral hominids...out of all of you. THAT's MY dream.

Ahuizotl: Of course Bill referring to The Oddities when he says "circus"...did they even know about this?

Bill: And I can only HOPE, that you all will heed my words, open your aurises, pick up your pencils, and get ready for a pop qui-

-Bill is interrupted by the sudden blasting of the "Hallelujah" chorus, except it has been remixed to sound like a dance song-

Garble: Now what is happening?!

Ahuizotl: It seems like class is being postponed for right now…

-A man in a blue robe with a white collar emerges on the stage, enveloped in a spotlight. He's got a pretty decent beard, and soon it is revealed that he is being accompanied to the ring by two beautiful woman, wearing some pretty skimpy mini-dresses. He begins to walk to the ring with them with a sophisticated heir to himself-

Ahuizotl: Whoever this man is, I certainly hope he isn't as boring as Mr. Nyeker…

Garble: I must say, it is quite disrespectful to be interrupting Mr. Nyeker's class! However, at least this dude LOOKS classy. And I can appreciate the arm candy he's got going on.

Ahuizotl: You don't know ANYTHING about being CLASSY!

Garble: That's why I'm here, you nimrod! Mr. Nyeker is going to teach me the error of my ways!

Ahuizotl: Oh brother…

-The mystique individual and his women have now entering the ring. Bill looks perplexed as he looks to speak again-

Nyeker: Well, well, well...it seems we have a few NEW students in our classroom….tell me...what are your names?

-One of the ladies has grabbed a mic, and proceeds to hand it to the bearded fellow-

?: My name...is Damien Sandow...and I am the Intellectual Savior...of DEM ASSES! -Sandow points to the rears of his female associates, as they turn around and show them off. Sandow slaps one of them, causing the girl to grab at it and laugh-

Garble: HOW UNCOUTH!

Ahuizotl: Nyeker looks like he's going to throw up….

Nyeker: I must say it is GREAT to have a few more….stars, not brightly shining ones, but stars nonetheless...to add to my Nebula. However, young man...and...your petite patrons….there are a few RULES in MY classroom that you MUST abide by if we are to coincide with one another….

Sandow: Well then, William….

Nyeker: That's MR. NYEKER to you…

Sandow: -inches in closer to his face-...WILLIAM. We aren't going to get along very well, because….I don't do well with..rules.

Nyeker: You're going to HAVE to if you want to be a part of MY classroom. RULE 1: You DON'T interrupt your teacher when he is talking -boos continue- RULE 2: Your behavior on your...fellow classmates -he gestures at the females- is both obscene and uncivilized…RULE 3: We have a strict dress code, and your wiffman are CLEARLY violating it!

Sandow: Oh, that's okay! They ain't the only ones!

Nyeker: What are you talking abou-

-Nyeker cannot finish his sentence, as Sandow proceeds to disrobe. Under his robe, he is wearing crimson red pants, and a black vest that isn't zipped or buttoned up in the slightest. An overly hairy chest is visible beneath the vest, and many golden chains and medallions lay atop of his torso forest. The crowd cheers at this reveal, and cheers even more when Sandow executes an expertly done cartwheel-

Garble: Oh my God! SOMEONE BUY THAT MAN A RAZOR!

Nyeker: -losing his mind- This...THIS IS ABSURD! You have in one SIMULTANEOUS SWOOP, defiled EVERY RULE OF THIS CLASSROOM!

Sandow: -shaking his hand- You call them rules, I call them restrictions. William, I didn't come out here to join your class roster...I came out here to help all these people DROP OUT. -massive cheers-

Garble: NO! YOU MONSTER! EDUCATION IS A VIRTUE!

Sandow: Let me teach YOU a few things...learning is supposed to be FUN! -cheers-

Nyeker: Learning is HARD WORK! There's no time to lollygag when you so much to ABSORB!

Sandow: You are the PRIME EXAMPLE of why kids don't want to go to school. It's not that they CAN'T follow rules...it's that they SHOULDN'T have to follow the rules when their educators are like YOU.

Ahuizotl: Slicing the blade right through!

Sandow: You tell these people to PAY ATTENTION….how the hell can anybody pay attention to their teacher when they're so BORING? -cheers-

Crowd: MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Someone give Damien Sandow an F! He's about to Flunk Mr. Nyeker's class, and that won't get him anywhere in life!

Sandow: William...you are the DENIZEN...of DULL. -cheers- As long as I'm around….nobody is going to be your TEACHER'S PE-

-Nyeker responds by bashing Sandow in the head with his mic-

Ahuizotl: Oh! What a cheap shot!

-Nyeker puts the boots to Sandow as he's on the ground. Sandow is soon able to get enough of an opening to get on his knees and shoves Nyeker. Nyeker bounces off the ropes and LEVELS Sandow with the Knee Trembler on the rebound, causing him to fall to the mat, unconscious.-

Ahuizotl: Didn't Nyeker hear about the rule where you DON'T put your hands on your students?!

Garble: This lowlife Sandow isn't a student! He's "too cool for school", and that's not the right attitude to have!

-Nyeker grabs Sandow by the hair, and launches him from across his desk and into his chalkboard. Sandow crashes head on into it, as the crowd "OHH's" in response.-

Garble: I know somebody who's NOT getting a gold star this week…

Ahuizotl: This is ridiculous!

-Nyeker reaches in the drawer of his desk, and pulls out a grading stamp-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...what's he going to do with that?

Garble: Ahaha! I have a good idea! Mr. Nyeker is about to give his first pop quiz a grade!

-Nyeker presses the "F" into the ink, and then STAMPS Sandow's head-

Garble: Yes! Sandow got an F! Guess he should've studied…..

Ahuizotl: Nyeker's the one who should be getting an F..for FRAUD! Teachers don't DO THIS!

Garble: I guarantee this is what they WANT to do to dishonorable students, they just don't have the guts!

Nyeker: -looking out into the crowd- CLASS DISMIIIISSED! -crowd boos heavily, as Nyker goes over to the girls. He takes a hand, and places it next to their ankle, imagining the length of their dresses that would win his approval- Skirts should be THAT long in MY CLASSROOM! WORK ON IT! -He exits the ring after yelling-

Ahuizotl: Bill Nyeker is a poor excuse for an educator! Where did he get his degree?!

Garble: At the school of Hard Knocks, 'Zotl! Mr. Nyeker is HANDS ON. Not many teachers are like that these days. He's old school. And I LOVE it!

Ahuizotl: He should have his teaching license SUSPENDED! That was COMPLETELY uncalled for!

Garble: Damien Sandow must've reminded him of his time at the Circus….-shivers-...poor Mr. Nyeker! Let him relive his greatest days, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: Oh you are such a TEACHER'S PET! Why don't you give Mr. Nyeker an oral exam?!

-Mr. Nyeker slowly backpedals up the stage, as Sandow's girls check on him. Mr. Nyeker takes a bite out of his apple after another hard day of installing knowledge into the brains of his students-

Garble: Uhhh...no.

*Commercial break*

Ahuizotl: We are all set for our next match, ladies and gentlemen. We are being joined for it, though, by the very first Combo of Carnage champions...Gustave Le Grand, Fancy Pants..EGO. Welcome, men.

Garble: And let's not forget about the LOVELY Fleur de Lis

-Fleur waves at Garble, and then lays across the announce table-

Ahuizotl: -clears his throat- W-well I guess I can't forget about her if she's right here in front of me the whole time…

Fancy Pants: Oh, pay no mind to her, fellows. It is natural for Lady Fleur to showcase her beauty everywhere she goes!

Garble: Oh, we don't mind, Fancy, but we'll try our best to call the action despite her BLINDING beauty. -he rubs his chin in astonishment-

Gustave Le Grand: Let uz find zot who vill be a stepping stone on EGO's quest to..-breathes deep-...IMMORTALITY...hur hur.

*REDACTED THEME* -quite a few boos-

Madden: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Where the winners of the match, will move on to face EGO at Retributiiioon...for the Combo of Carrrnaaaggeeee...championSHIIIIPPSSSS! Introducing first, at a combined weight...of 402 POOOOUNDSSS...Snips, and SNAAAIILSSSS...SLIIIIMMEE!

Garble: How do you feel about Snips and Snails, champs? They are UNDEFEATED in tag team action.

Fancy Pants: Is that really such a big fuss? EGO also happens to be undefeated...and the more we win, the bigger EGO gets. Literally AND figuratively.

Gustave: On ze subject of…-spits-...SLIME...zat pretty much iz how ve vould describe zem. Zey are nothing but sniveling veasels, and EGO vill not lose to the likes of zem! Glorified lapdogs…

*The sky turns to...a different shade of blue…* -despite their recent problems The BroMans are still cheered by many, though they come out looking not pleased with each other in the slightest-

Madden: Aaaand THEIR OPPONENTS! At a combined weight...of 421 POOOUNDSSS..Shining Armor...and Flash SENTRRRYYY...THHEEE BROOOMAANNSS!

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

Ahuizotl: These two have been through SO MUCH in the past month, it's a wonder that they're still a team!

Garble: One more loss could be the final blow in this tandem, 'Zotl. This is a MUST WIN situation for the BroMans. What do you guys think? -turns to the champions-

Fancy: Me and Master Le Grand beat these curs on the first night. If they win, we will have no problem doing it again.

Ahuizotl: I'd like to point out that Fleur DID help you win that match...she also helped you win the tag team titles last night.

Gustave: Vut difference does zat make?! Fleur De Lis iz MORE zan a pretty face!

Fancy: Do you really think we became such IMPORTANT people with hardwork and determination? We aren't like those dreaded apples...we aren't afraid to take as many shortcuts as we see fit.

Garble: Speaking of, which Sublime team do you think will qualify for your title match at Retribution?

Fancy: -sighs- Once again….that doesn't matter. Though, we wouldn't mind trading blows with fellow Elitists Master Blueblood and Master Hoity Toity. We would double team the peasants, and then find out who TRULY is the Cream of the Crop.

Garble: Haha! It's funny because that's the name of your finisher!

Fancy: -he and Gustave stare at Garble- We do not see the humor in that…

Garble: -frowns- Oh...my apologies…

*And now...it's all over now…* -Crowd Boos II: The Booening-

Ahuizotl: Wait just a minute...Sunset Shimmer?

-Sunset Shimmer comes out in a referee shirt, looking high and mighty-

Madden: And introducing..your referee for this bout...SUNSEEETTT...SHIIMMEERR!

Garble: What a wonderful surprise! The Crater Chick champion is going to officiate this VERY important match!

Ahuizotl: This must've been the "catalyst" she was talking to general manager Luna about….I don't like this.

Garble: Ah, don't you worry, 'Zotl! I'm sure she'll be as impartial as a German in a Sauerkraut eating contest!

Fancy: Also not funny.

Garble: -lightly bangs his fist on the announce table- Dammit…

Match 4: The BroMans vs SLIME (Special Referee: Sunset Shimmer)

-Immediately after the bell rings, Sunset gestures to her boyfriend-

Sunset: Flash! Lay down on the mat!

Flash: -Eyebrows lower- S-sunset, please…..we've got to try to win this match!

Ahuizotl: This woman CANNOT be serious!

Garble: Not surprisingly, she most definitely is...DEAD serious.

Sunset: I said LAY DOWN ON THE MAT! I am the referee of not only this match, but your LIFE!

-Flash desperately looks back at Shining Armor, who is basically done with life at this point-

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer WANTS to tear this group apart! There is no other explanation for this!

Garble: Mind games. It's downright evil, but what else would you expect?

Gustave: Very respectable.

-Flash sits down on his rear with his hands over his head as Sunset continues to point at the mat. Shining Armor jumps off the apron, and begins to walk backstage. Flash looks on for a minute, before finally, hopeless collapsing against the mat. Snails scurries over his body, as Sunset counts-

Sunset: 1...2….3! -The bell rings, as the crowd cannot stop booing-

Ahuizotl: Unbelievable…..

Madden: Here are your winners...Snips and Snails...SLIME…

-Shining Armor never looks back as he exits through the stage curtain-

-Sunset Shimmer raises the hands of Snips and Snails, and mocks sadness as Flash continues to lay still on the mat-

Ahuizotl: I never cease to be disgusted when Sunset Shimmer is out here….

Garble: I'll admit that this is pretty scummy. Why doesn't she want her man to succeed?

Ahuizotl: Oh I've a few ideas! For one, she's a massive cu-

Fancy: As we said, we can very much get behind Sunset Shimmer and her go-getting attitude. She is willing to do anything it takes to get her men to the top.

Ahuizotl: But her MAN is Flash Sentry! She is tearing his career apart! Piece by piece, week after week!

Gustave: Ve gave our opinions and now ve have better places to be. Zank you. -Gustave and Fancy take off their headphones and place them on the table. Fleur stops posing and follows Fancy when he motions to her-

Ahuizotl: Why is everybody on this show's opinions so SLANTED?! Don't they see the problem with this?!

Garble: If you didn't expect me to not then you're wrong, 'Zotl. I do think this is wrong….but if Flash wants to make it in this business, he needs to cut bait.

Ahuizotl: And then what?! Get attacked by those cheating goons in the ring?! Sunset makes his life HELL AS they're a couple...what would she do if he just up and left?!

Garble: A fine point. I'd rather not think about that. Either way, Snips and Snails are going to be in the Combo of Carnage title match at Retribution.

Ahuizotl: And The BroMans may as well be dead! Thanks to that WITCH, Sunset Shimmer! When will her evil deeds just STOP?!

Garble: When she has this entire company in the palm of her hand.

-Sunset hugs a dejected Flash tightly-

Sunset: Sorry it had to be this way, baby...I hope you understand…-kisses his cheek-

Flash: A-...absolutely, Sunny...you know best….

*Commercial break*

*Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky…* -massive pop-

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen..please welcome….SCOOOTAAALOOOO!

Garble: Last night at Proving Grounds, Scootaloo was left to the WOLVES...the wolves being Turf and Silver Spoon. Her partner, Berry Punch, was NOWHERE to be found!

Ahuizotl: It's no secret that Berry Punch has her own demons. But Scootaloo NEEDED her, and wound up beaten, deflated, and severely DISAPPOINTED.

Garble: That's the kind of crap that makes me not want to trust anyone….

-Scootaloo grabs a mic, and stops in the middle of the ring, barely smiling at her legions of fans-

Crowd: SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO!

Ahuizotl: She will ALWAYS be cherished by the fans, though. That much we can count on.

Scootaloo: I thank you guys for trying to make me feel better, but to be honest, I am just NOT in the right state of mind for this….I hope I can keep my composure for this….Berry Punch..please come out here….

*GLASS SHATTERS* -mild cheers-

Garble: There's the damn drunk!

Ahuizotl: Don't be so ruthless! I'm sure Berry had her reasons for not being at Scootaloo's side last night…

-Berry comes out with a beer bottle in hand. She begins solemnly walking down to the ring-

Garble: Look at her! She's a mess! She can't even leave her pacifier backstage!

Ahuizotl: Neither could you with your insults! Just be quiet for a moment!

-Berry gets in the ring. She doesn't even bother doing her 4 Turnbuckle pose. She simply grabs a mic and stands in front of Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: Thanks for coming out here, Berry...I just wanted to clear the a-

Berry: I already know exactly what you're gonna say…..I failed you…..

Scootaloo: I wasn't going to say that, Berry. I-

Berry: No, no, no, no….don't give me that. I know what I did….I said I was gonna watch your back, and I didn't fulfill my promise. I….I let ya down, Scootaloo…

Scootaloo: Noooo, Berry….please don't say that. I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame YOU for what happened….

Berry: What? Who in the hell else cost us the titles, then?!

Scootaloo: Take ONE guess…-looks at her hand, and the bottle it possesses. Berry also looks-

Berry: -sighs-...You're right….

Scootaloo: -puts a hand on Berry's shoulder-...What happened?

Berry: Basically...I was trying to...prepare for the match...the only way I know how...I usually..just chug 2. After that, though, the need for MORE just...took over…

Scootaloo: How many more did you drink?

Berry: Ugh….damn, I have no clue...but it was enough to knock me out. And because of that, I missed the title match…I fucked up so bad….

Scootaloo: I hope you know that I'm NOT mad at you….not in the SLIGHTEST…

Berry: You SHOULD be, though…

Scootaloo: Well, now I actually am, because this isn't YOU, Berry! I was expecting you to come out here and kick my ass just for calling you out!

Berry: I admit my mistakes, Scoots...there wouldn't be no reason for me to do that…I just want to make things right…

Scootaloo: You want to make things right? -Berry nods- Then you've got to PROMISE me that the next time we get the chance, we're BOTH going to kick those priss-buckets' ASSES, and win the Chick Combo titles! -the crowd cheers-

Berry: -looks out at the crowd-...Ohhhh HEEELLL..YYYEEAAHH! -insane amount of cheers follow-

Ahuizotl: They're still on the same track!

-Scootaloo and Berry high five-

Garble: Aren't reunions so sweet? Gag…

Scootaloo: Now that YOU'RE looking out for ME...I'm going to return the favor, and look out for YOU…..-Scootaloo gently grabs the bottle out of Berry's hand, and sits it in the corner behind her. Berry grits her teeth at this action, but ultimately learns to accept it-

Scootaloo: I'm not going to try to change who you are, Berry...because I LIKE the way you are. You're "marble cold", as you say. You don't care what anybody thinks as long as they last more than 10 seconds! I'm glad to have you as a partner.

Berry: ...Hell, I'm glad, too, you little firecracker. -pats her head- Alcohol fueled or not...I can still kick ANYBODY'S ASS...ON. THIS. ROSTER! -massive cheers-

Ahuizotl: And I believe her!

Garble: You would. She's been knocked out in the ring more times than she's actually fought.

Ahuizotl: Well, her focus is on the tag team titles now, so you can put that to sleep.

-As Scootaloo and Berry shake hands, they are interrupted by Diamond Tiara's theme song. A chorus of boos then follow, as The Mean Girls appear on stage. Berry walks behind Scootaloo as the three vindictive vixens make their way to the ring-

Garble: And here I figured we had our fair share of the Mean Girls for one night! I was gladly mistaken!

Ahuizotl: It does make sense. They must feel threatened by the fact that Scootaloo and Berry Punch are on the same page, and have their sights set on their titles.

-Diamond Tiara gets in the ring, followed by Silver and Turf as Berry returns by Scootaloo's side-

Diamond: Aww...isn't this so sweet? The Misfits are back together! -her and the other bitches laugh as the crowd continues to boo- I'm not surprised in the least. You two are SO perfect for each other! No wonder you made up so easily!

Silver: Yeah, I mean, REALLY….who would've thought that Scootaloo would be so ALONE that she would settle for the bottom of the barrel?

Scootaloo: Bottom of the Barrel or not, when we take those titles from you guys, we're going to be on the top of the WORLD! -cheers-

Diamond: ...Cute. Your childish statements won't do you any good in the long run. You're too weak, Scootaloo. Even with your friends you were weak, but at least you were weak TOGETHER. Now you have NOBODY. Even if you DO win a title with this...pee-on, you will still have NOTHING.

Scootaloo: You're WRONG, Diamond Tiara. I'll have a title, for one. My friends will be proud of me, whether they are with me here or not. Lastly, EVERYBODY will be thanking me...because I'll be the one to SHUT. YOU. UP! -massive cheers-

Ahuizotl: You tell her, girl!

Garble: Diamond's heard this all before. Don't talk crap until you get the job done.

Crowd: SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO!

Diamond: -Scoffs, and looks at Berry- Why haven't you said anything? You usually got a big mouth! What? Finally realize that Scootaloo is a useless pile of sh-

-Berry responds by spitting beer in the face of Diamond Tiara. The crowd erupts in joy as Diamond falls to the mat, kicking and screaming as the Ale pours into her eyelids.-

Garble: NO! HOW REPULSIVE!

Ahuizotl: And everything Diamond has put Scootaloo through WASN'T repulsive?

Garble: Diamond didn't swish and swash a beverage in her mouth for 3 minutes straight and then shoot it out at her full blast! Diamond's underaged! Alcohol shouldn't be anywhere NEAR her perfect figure!

-Diamond rolls out to the floor, Turf and Silver Spoon frantically leave the ring to aid her-

Crowd: BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! -Berry leans over the ropes and flips off the 3 antagonists as the crowd continues to chant her name. Turf picks up the mic-

Turf: FUCK YOU, BERRY PRICK! YOU SPIT ALCOHOL? WELL I SPIT VENOM, BITCH! YOU AND CHICKENSHIT WANT A TITLE SHOT? WELL BEAT ME FIRST! -Turf slams the mic and runs into the ring, snarling-

Ahuizotl: Looks like we're going to have an impromptu match..Turf vs Berry Punch, for a shot at the Chick Combo titles!

Garble: FUCK HER UP, TURF! DIAMOND IS COUNTING ON YOU!

Match 5: Berry Punch w/ Scootaloo vs Turf w/ Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara

*5 minutes later…*

-Berry Punch goes for The Bar Tab, but Turf pushes her out of the way exits the ring just as medical staff and Silver Spoon are escorting Diamond Tiara backstage-

Turf: I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT! TAKE YOUR STUPID TITLE MATCH! WE'VE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE AT SOME POINT ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL BE BITCHES WE ALREADY RAPED! -Turf begins walking up the stage as the crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Turf is taking her ball and she's going home…

Garble: Diamond DESERVES to have her friend by her side during this whole ordeal! Turf is such a WONDERFUL friend!

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: -extending her first in the air and then touching her forearm with her other hand- LICK MY PUSSY! Oh wait...that's right….FAGGOTS NEVER GET CLOSE TO THERE! HAHAHAHAHA!

-The referee counts to 10 as Turf exits the stage-

Ahuizotl: Turf has been counted out. Berry Punch and Apple Bloom get another shot at the titles!

Garble: How noble of Turf….

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….BEERRRYYY...PUUUNNCCHH!

Garble: Berry Punch pretty much cheated, in retrospect.

Ahuizotl: How?!

Garble: There was no way Turf could've concentrated on this match with her bestie being tortured by the satanic marketing juggernaut known as Malt liquor! It was over from the start!

Ahuizotl: -As Scootaloo raises Berry's hand- Keeeep making excuses for them, go ahead. What's your excuse going to be when they lose the titles? The sun was in their eyes?

Garble: I was going to say their boots were untied, but you just keep doing my job for me, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: -sigh- It's a happy new beginning for the tag team of Scootaloo and Berry Punch. And the best possible ending scenario is them winning the Chick Combo titles! Good luck, girls!

-We cut backstage to see a split-screened shot of Overdrive, and Rumble and the Roses walking side by side-

Garble: Speaking of titles, our main event is a handicap, where the Carnage Championship will be ON the line. The odds are stacked against Overdrive, but he seems strong enough to lift them ALL above his head….

Ahuizotl: We will find out if Overdrive can RISE to the occasion, and become the first EVER Carnage Champion...NEXT!

*Commercial break*

Madden: The following HANDICAP match...is scheduled for ONE FAAALL! And is to determine the CAARRNNAAGGEE...CHAAMMMPPIIOONN! -loud cheers-

-Rumble's music hits, and even more cheers can be heard-

Garble: Here we go! It's title time!

Madden: Introducing first….accompanied to the ring….by BULK...BICEEPPSSS! The team of Flitter...Cloudchaserrrr...aaanddd RRRUUMMBBLLEE! -lots of cheers-

Garble: I am pleased to say that this week, Rumble's coat is made from REAL Alligator!

Ahuizotl: If he wins the title tonight, he'll have more to brag about than just the material of his coat!

Garble: I'm pulling for him, man! It could be THAT much easier with Flitter and Cloudchaser in his corner, and we CAN'T forget about Bulk Biceps!

Ahuizotl: I believe Overdrive DID. Maybe he should've thought this out a bit more...how EMBARRASSED would a big guy like him be if he were to be pinned by itty bitty Flitter or Cloudchaser?

Garble: He very well may tear this arena apart! I'm using you as a shield if it comes to that, 'Zotl!

*All my life I've been searching for something….* -mostly boos-

Madden: And….HIISS opponent! From the STEEEELL CITTTYY...weighing in at 253 POOOUUNNDDSS...OVEERRRDDRRIIVVEEEE!

-Overdrive rushes the ring, picking Rumble up by his abdomen and forces him into the corner, hitting him with an array of shoulder strikes-

Ahuizotl: And here we go! It's on just like that!

Main Event: Carnage Championship: Overdrive vs Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser

*11 minutes later*

-Overdrive goes up to the top rope after levelling Rumble with a running powerslam. Flitter jumps off of the ring apron and runs to the other side, as Cloudchaser blows the referee a kiss, getting his attention in the process-

Ahuizotl: Up until now, Overdrive has been able to isolate Flitter and Cloudchaser, but you had to figure that at SOME POINT, they would dig their well-manicured claws into this match…

Garble: The referee is clearly being wooed by Cloudchaser. I wonder if they put on some kind of special zebra musk before each match that involves women…

-Overdrive is yelling at the referee to pay attention, when all of a sudden Flitter jumps back up on the apron next to him and clobbers him with Rumble's phone.-

Crowd: OHHHH!

Garble: Holy!...JEEZ! Rumble's phone has been SHATTERED by Overdrive's cranium!

Ahuizotl: That's technically the second phone of Rumble's that Overdrive has broken in the past week!

-Flitter clears the evidence, that being the broken parts of the phone off of the mat just as the referee turns around. Rumble is back on his feet, and grabs the neck of Overdrive, who was barely hanging on the turnbuckle after being hit with the phone-

Garble: Take advantage, Rumble! You can buy all the phones you want!

-Rumble plants Overdrive with a top rope DDT. He then uses all of his might and leftover strength to move Overdrive onto his back-

Garble: THE COVER!

*1…...2…..3! -the crowd becomes unglued as Rumble lets out a scream of victory-

Ahuizotl: He did it! By hook or crook, Rumble is the Carnage Champion!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER…..and the NEEEEEEEEWWWWW...CAARRNAAGGEEE CHAAAMMPPIOONN….RRRRRUUMMBBLLLEEEEE!

-Flitter and Cloudchaser enter the ring, falling into Rumble's arms, peppering Rumble with kiss after kiss, though Cloudchaser's involve a bit more tongue-

Garble: I...am SO HAPPY! Rumble! You made me proud, little man!

Ahuizotl: I can't really complain. In a twist of irony, this WAS Overdrive's fault. Surely he KNEW this was going to happen!

Garble: It doesn't matter HOW it happened...all that matters is that Rumble..is the FIRST Carnage Champion!

-Bulk Biceps lifts Rumble, who is now proudly holding the Carnage title in both his hands, into the air-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: He SURE is! And that title is going to look GORGEOUS around the waist of it's first holder….RUMBLE! Congratulations!

-Rumble realizes that he can't take selfies because his phone is dismantled, so he literally steals one out of the crowd and snaps at least 100. Of course, the fan was glad to let him borrow it-

Garble: Ahaha! Classic!

*Commercial*

Ahuizotl: This just in, ladies and gentlemen...we learned during the commercial break that NEXT WEEK, Silver Spoon and Turf WILL defend their Chick Combo championships...against Berry Punch and Scootaloo!

Garble: Hopefully Diamond Tiara still has her 20/20 vision by then! I might just die if she was injured again! It will be a FLUKE if those ingrates, Berry and Scootaloo win!

Ahuizotl: I hope they DO win, just so people like YOU will shut the hell up.

*A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head…* -the boos in the arena are nearly unanimous, save for a the children, but they are pretty much drowned out-

Garble: Uh ho ho hoooo! Listen to that reaction….

Ahuizotl: After what happened last night, this was BOUND to be the case…

Madden: Please welcome...the NEEWWWW...Women's...Eternal...World CHAAMMMPPIOOONN...TWWWIILLLIIGGHHTT...SPPAARRKLLLEEE!

-Twilight walks to the ring with a crestfallen look on her face. She clearly isn't doing well in this hostile environment. She does find ONE lone fan in the front row that wants to slap her hand. When she goes up to meet this fan, she is blindsided by the fan itself-

Garble: WHOA! Our champion is being attacked! SECURITY!

-The crowd totally erupts in cheers as the gray-hooded fan reveals herself as…-

Ahuizotl: It's LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST WAS HERE ALL ALONG!

-Dust jumps over the barricade, knocking Spike away from his sister, and pounding away at Twilight with fist after fist-

Crowd: LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST!

Garble: This is CRAZY! Twilight shouldn't have come out here!

-Lightning throws Twilight into the steel steps, the sheer impact helping Twilight turn the steps over-

Ahuizotl: She's a woman possessed! She was screwed out of the Eternal Women's championship, and she's going to send a message to everybody involved!

-Lightning continues to kick the crap out of Twilight all the way to the front of the announce table. Lightning takes off the cover of it and SLAMS it on top of Twilight's sternum. She does the same for the monitors-

Garble: Luna better get out here and save her top star before some SERIOUS damage is DONE!

-Spike tries to intervene, but Lightning responds by shoving him back on the floor. Spike doesn't dare take another step. Lightning picks up Twilight's title, and takes a long look at it, and exudes a deep breath, before turning to Twilight and preparing it for it's proper use-

Lightning: YOU WANT THIS TITLE SO BAD?! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! RIGHT UPSIDE YOUR BOTH OF YOUR TWO FACES! -crowd cheers extremely loud-

Crowd: FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP!

Ahuizotl: Don't turn around, Twilight! You're not going to like the view!

-Before Lightning can return the Eternal Women's championship to its rightful owner, in a last ditch effort, security tackle Lightning to the ground, much to the dismay of the fans-

Ahuizotl: Hey! Be gentle with her!

Garble: Why should they?! She wasn't being gentle with Twilight!

Ahuizotl: SHE'S A WOMAN! Also, she has a SCORE to settle with Twilight! So let her settle it!

-Security quickly escort Lightning Dust up the ramp to where Luna is waiting-

Lightning: -cackles- I ruined your little pet project's title ceremony! And I'll keep doing it EVERY week until I get another shot at my title!

Luna: Get here OUT OF MY BUILDING! She's a LUNATIC!

Lightning: Bullshit! I'm not a supporter of yours! By the time I'm done with Sparkle, this show won't even have the support of ONE LEG!

Luna: This is MY SHOW! And as long as I have a say, you won't be anywhere NEAR I-

-Luna's speech is interrupted as Lightning Dust spits in her face. The crowd is going absolutely bananas as the team of security removes Lightning from the building. Luna can only stand there with spit running down her cheek, as the show goes off the air with the crowd chanting "LIGHTNING DUST!"-

?: Eh...you wanna see something….REALLY scary?

-Following immediately thereafter, we hear the sound of locusts chirping as we hear the voice of a woman wearing a snakeskin fedora. The camera is close up on her, though she isn't looking at it. It's like she is talking to someone else-

-We then see zooming images of a voodoo doll, another woman wearing a red flannel jacket up close, the woman with the fedora stretching her arms as the flannel woman looks at a tree in the background. We now see that the woman wearing the fedora is also wearing an unbuttoned tourist shirt with red, green, and yellow leaves all over it. Next is the image of a sheep mask, and a bluegrass guitar riff sounds off as we see the fedora woman on top of a stump, her arms once again outstretched, as the flannel woman and many other people bow before her.-

-The woman cackles eerily as we see another close-up of her, this time with her long, purple hair covering her eyes. We see her reflection in the water, and the camera zooms around in the grass. Her cackle reverbs as we see wooden planks, and the fedora woman spinning in front of a rocking chair. She disappears, and the rocking chair rocks by itself, but it stops rocking when she reappears-

?: We live in a world...where society..has poisoned the souls of men….-the riff kicks in, as we see a 1950's plastic cutout of a policeman waving. The woman has taking her fedora off, and she slowly turns back to the camera as the woman with the flannel cannot takes her eyes off of what is ahead of her. An ominous sign states "Obey."- It hovers over them like a dark cloud, where they can't do anything about it… -we see a piano and a STOP sign.- "'Cuz they're just the regular everyday working class…" -there is a man in a fisher's cap walking down a pavement, the camera not stopping for him. Yet another closeup of the woman in the fedora- People like me….-an echo on the word "ME." as she stands in the forest, this time alone.- they get down on their hands and knees...and they whisper these little lies and secrets into their ears…-we see a sign that entails "NO TRESPASSING." The fedora woman is sitting in the rocking chair. At her side is the flannel lady, and another woman in a buttoned green vest and green cargo pants. We see close ups on the two associates.- WELL I HAVE A SECRET OF MY OWN! -the fedora woman sits in her rocking chair, smiling, as the lyrics hit-

"Catching flies….in his MOOOUUTTHH…." -the flannel woman is still staring ahead of her as the woman in the green getup walks right past the camera. The fedora woman looks off in the distance with her hair still in her eyes. We see a padlock, and a grasshopper walking on a rusted bar, and then walking backwards on it.-

?: And what are you gonna do? -this questions echos.- What are you gonna do, when they decide it's time?

Flannel woman: We are the ones…

?: When they start to walk upright?

Flannel woman: The ones...you've been told about…and WE are walking UPRIGHT. -an echo of the fedora wearing woman repeats, as she continues to speak-

?: What are you gonna do? Well I know what you're gonna do….-we get another sudden close up- ...RUN. -it is obvious that this video package was set up to skip around at times. The "RUN" was not the answer to what we are going to do…- You're gonna tell them…

Woman in green vest: -who has now changed into a blue vest- We're coming….

?: RUN.

Flannel woman: Now send us...someone -we get a close up on the sheep mask from before, which happens to be worn by the woman in the green vest- Just don't send anyone… -the camera scrolls through a cemetery- you want BACK.

?: WITNESS. THE NEW FACE. OF FEAR! -more closeups on the woman in the green vest, and the woman in the flannel joyfully smiling as the woman with the fedora begins to sing in an echo- And everywhere that Mary went… -we see the woman with the fedora rocking back in forth on a patio swing as the locusts continue to buzz. The fedora woman is bobbing her head back and forth quickly, as we scroll across a table of antique plates and rusted pans. The last thing on the table is the voodoo doll from before.-

"Broken out in love…." -the flannel woman is surrounded by no one. Her shoulders are less slumped, but she still continues to stare at the camera ahead.-

?: The lamb was sure to gooooo…. -the woman with the green vest, now wearing a blue vest once again, as well as the sheep mask, lowers her head into the shot, blocking the flannel wearing woman. The locusts cease buzzing, and now the only noise we hear is the low-toned laughter of the fedora woman. We see flashes of her with her bulged out as she laughs.- ….We're coming.

Quick results:

Diamond Tiara defeated Lyra by pinfall
Honeycomb defeated Twist by pinfall
Rarity defeated Midnight Strike by pinfall
Snips and Snails defeated The BroMans by pinfall
Berry Punch defeated Turf by count-out
Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser defeated Overdrive by pinfall (New Carnage Champion)