Lunacy:

Twilight Sparkle
Sunset Shimmer
Lightning Dust
Spike
Shining Armor
Diamond Tiara
Silver Spoon
Cadance
Flash Sentry
Scootaloo
Rarity
Lyra
Bon Bon
Flitter
Cloudchaser
Snails
Snips
Fancypants
Fleur de Lis
Colgate
Horsepower
Berry Punch
"The Professor" Bill Neigh
Clip Clop
Dance Fever
Hugh Jelly
Geri
Gizmo
Turf
Hoops
Dumb-Bell
Twist
Gustave Le Grand
Honeycomb
"The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike
Sparkler
Neon Lights
Rumble
Star Swirl the Bearded
Overdrive
Garble (Commentator)
Ahuiztol (Commentator)

Sublime:

Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie
The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie
Spitfire
Soarin
Big MacIntosh
Apple Bloom
Applejack
Fluttershy
Thunderlane
Sweetie Belle
Octavia
Aloe
Lotus Blossom
Cheerilee
Daring Do
Braeburn
Blueblood
Caramel
Photo Finish
Granny Smith
Doughnut Joe
Vinyl Scratch
Hoity Toity
Pipsqueak
Red Delicious
Golden Delicious
Happy Trails
Ace
Marble Pie (alternately Inkie Pie
Limestone Pie (alternately Blinkie Pie)
Steamer
Babs Seed
Uncle Wing
Sweet Tooth
Nurse Redheart
Pretty Vision
Davenport
Check Mate
Commander Hurricane
Discord (Commentator)
Dr. Whooves (Commentator)

Tag Team's:

Lunacy:

Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (More of an alliance, really.)
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Lyra and Bon Bon.
Flitter and Cloudchaser.
Diamond Tiara and Turf.
Turf and Silver Spoon.
Rarity and Twilight Sparkle (Again. More of an alliance and friendship.)
Cadance and Twilight Sparkle (Friendship.)
BroMans (Shining Armor and Flash Sentry)
Snips and Snails
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancypants) (With Fleur de Lis as manager)
Hoops and Dumb-Bell
Horsepower and Rumble

Sublime:

Beauty Shot - Photo Finish and Pretty Vision
Aloe and Lotus
The Ghost Girls - Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie
The Wonderbolts - Soarin and Spitfire (Cannot compete for EITHER tag team title because of gender restrictions, but that's why intergender matches exist.)
Red Delicious and Golden Delicious
Braeburn and Happy Trails
Canterlot Class - Hoity Toity and Blueblood
Couch-Mate - Davenport and Check Mate
Vinyl Scratch and Octavia
The Apple Dynasty can also contain many tag teams

Stables:

Lunacy:

The Mean Girls - Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf
The Oddities - "The Professor" Bill Neigh, Clip Clop, Hugh Jelly, Dance Fever, "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike (Basically the rejects of my brand. If they have to, though, they are not afraid to face off against each other.)
Rumble Roses - Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser. (Stable name based off of a video game with the same name.) (Horsepower is not apart of the stable, but Flitter and Cloudchaser will often manage the team of him and Rumble.)

Sublime:

The Apple Dynasty - Applejack, Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Breaburn, Babs Seed, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Happy Trails, and Sweet Tooth.
Apple Corre - Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, and Applejack (Managed by Granny Smith.) (Mini-stable that coincides with The Apple Dynasty.)

Champions:

Lunacy:

Women's Eternal World Champion: To be determined
Champion of Carnage: To be determined
Chick Combo Champions: To be determined
Crater Chick Champion: To be determined

Sublime:

World Fighters Champion: To be determined
World Brawlers Champion: To be determined
International Champion: To be determined
Sublime Tag Team Champions: To be determined

Shared:

Combos of Carnage Tag Team Champions: To be determined

The shows starts off with the lights turned off after the EWF logo encases the screen. The lights slowly dim on, and the capacity crowd begins cheering, as they prepare for the newest initiative in Equestrian entertainment: the Equestrian Wrestling Federation.

The camera zooms all across the crowd, trying to catch as many of the fans' and their doofy faces as possible.

We cut to the commentator's table next to ringside, where strange looking Ahuizotl is posting angry blog-posts on his "Daring Do SUCKS" tumblr. Next to him, Garble is yanking at his tie uncomfortably. Sooner or later, he yanks it off and throws it behind him in frustration.

Garble's eyes go wide as he leans in against the table.

"What? W-we're on? Dammit!" He curses in whisper-form. "Hey, narrow-eyes...you hear that?"

"JUST A MINUTE!" Ahuizotl screeches. "THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF MY UNDENYING HATE FOR DARING D-"

Suddenly, Garble puts his feet up on the commentary table, knocking Ahuizotl's laptop down to the floor.

"Hello, ladies and germs," Garble welcomes. "And thanks for spending your pathetic lives with us from now on."

Ahuizotl fumes. "YOU BRAT!"

Suddenly, the EWF lose all of their funds, and must resort to the shitty style of text formatting.

Garble: -Rolls his eyes- I'm Garble, the coolest mofo to ever barge into your living room.

Ahuizotl: And I am AHUIZOTL! Sworn nemesis of DARING DO! -Cackles- Welcome to the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! The newest source of entertainment in Equestria!

Garble: Just so everybody is aware...it was either this, or I work at a Twizzler's factory...

Ahuizotl: Oh, COME ON, boy! It won't be so bad, I'm sure...although...I am a bit disappointed that Daring Do is not on this roster-WHERE IS DARING DO?!

Garble: Hey, I've got my enemies, too! I hope Spike has a lava-pool match against himself! -Snorts-

Ahuizotl: I hope Daring Do gets traded to Lunacy so I can RIP HER APARRRRRRTTTT!

-They are yelled at in their ear-piece again-

Ahuizotl: Oh no! We're stalling, apparently! -Cries- WE ARE SO BAD AT THIS!

Garble: Hell, everyone is going to be...nobody on this roster has ever even wrestled before...

Filthy Rich in headphones: NO, DAMMIT! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! THE FANS ARE SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT WRESTLING IS REAL!

Garble: DAMMIT!

Ahuizotl: -Gulps- I pray for you, boy...

Garble: -Listens in, and nods. Suddenly gets cocky again- Lucky for everybody at home, me and narrow-eyes here are going to be calling the action that happens inside that ring. Naturally, you jerks should get the best that there is...

Ahuizotl: WHAT'S AN ARMDRAG?!

-Garble facepalms-

Ahuizotl: Yes, yes! HEHE-I was just testing our fans' knowledge of the iconic ARM-DRAG that uhhh...Louie Ecoli used back in the beginning stages of modern Equestrian wrestling!

Garble: Don't expect to see THAT many armdrags, though...the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is all about bringing the SMASH-MOUTH side of professional wrestling across syndicated television! We're talking steel chair shots, hot women, and OIL...

Ahuizotl: So...much...oil...-imagines Daring Do with a lot of oil on in her wrestling getup- AHHHH MY SANITY!

Garble: -Points at his partner- Yup...you nerds guessed it right...HE'LL be the weird one...

Ahuizotl: The days of 45 minute hugs and traditional "point systems" are OVER! It's this simple: If a superstar wants to get to the top here in the EWF, they'll have to break hearts, forge alliances, and do a slew of underhanded tactics!

Garble: Well, the COOL ones will...the losers will play it fair, and never end up anywhere...

Ahuizotl: We will learn every superstar's goals, and if they will be "cool" or a "loser", as you say, as time goes on...

Garble: Enough talk, though! More will be explained when need be! Let's FIGHT!

Ahuizotl: -Cowers- I FORGOT MY SPANDEX! BE GENTLE!

-Garble raises an eyebrow, and slowly looks at the camera-

Garble: It's gonna be a LOOOOONNGGG journey...

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

-The crowd rises and applauds-

Ahuizotl: OH YES! We are back, with the OWNER of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...FILTHY RICH!

Garble: The guy that signs ALL the checks, bro. Don't say anything stupid. You'll regret it.

Ahuizotl: Like you did just earlier? -Smirks-

Garble: ...

-Flithy Rich struts down the ramp, and enters the ring. He plays to the crowd, and they begin to cheer some more. Filthy Rich smiles as he motions for a mic. He gets one as the announcer whom I have no idea who it is yet gives him his/her. Again dunno-

Filthy Rich: ARE YA READY FOR SOME WRESTLIIINGG? -Crowd cheers- That's wonderful to hear! -Looks around- Wow...the first night in business, and we've got a packed house...how 'bout that? Well, ladies and gentleman, I am Filthy Rich. I'm the man who had a dream, and that dream was to bring the world of professional wrestling BACK to Equestria! As you may know, pro wrestling was banned from Equestria 35 years ago for being "in poor conduct"...the day pro wrestling went off television, I was 9...I was DEVASTATED. Me and my dad used to watch it every Saturday. Well, little Filthy grew up to be a GREAT businessman, just like his old man...I opened Barnyard Bargains in Loneyville, and I've singlehandedly UPPED the stock exchange, but when I'm old and gray...well, more older and grayer than I already am -chuckles-, I believe THIS...THIS...will be my GREATEST accomplishment. Not only using my hard-earned money to open up my own wrestling company, but putting professional wrestling BACK. ON. THE. MAP! -Crowd cheers- And I'm SO GLAD you all could join me in making HISTORY! We're going to break BARRIERS...we're going to CHANGE THE RULES...we're going to change the SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT WOOORRRLLLDDDD! And it all...starts...TONIGHT. This is the first shot fired, in the battle to make the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, the most WATCHED sport in EQUESTRIA!

Phase 1 ends...on February 4th, 2014, when we go head to head with the SUPER BOWL! On that day, we will be presenting our first ever pay per view: Proving Grounds. THAT is the day we will PROVE ourselves, and the Super Bowl will FALL to professional wrestling! No offense to any football fans out there, I'm one myself, but wrestling is a REAL sport! -Crowd cheers- And we're going to PROVE it! I've got 40 or so INCREDIBLE talents back behind that locker room that are going to HELP us prove it, too! Tonight, our first ever Women's Eternal World Champion will be crowned in a 20 woman, over the top rope BATTLE ROYAL. We also have a men's division, filled with some of the most hungry and determined young lads I've EVER met. You'll also see THEM in action, as well. That's not all, though...hell, I don't even know what else is going to happen! That's why this show is called Lunacy! IT'S NUTS! Well, I'll leave you all to get to know the many vibrant superstars we have to offer, as well as the varying degree of entertainment we will provide. You all have a great night! -Filthy lays down his mic, and goes to leave the ring-

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true...

Garble: Oho! And here is one of the MANY talented females Mr. Rich was talking about...his daughter, Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: You haven't even seen her compete yet!

Garble: I only know because she couldn't stop telling me backstage all day...

Ahuizotl: Pfttt, sounds like her...looks like she's being flanked by her two "besties", Silver Spoon and Turf!

Garble: She tell you their her "besties", too?

Ahuizotl: Nope! I'm just trying to live my fantasy as a teenage girl!

Garble: DA HELL?

Ahuizotl: DREAMS ARE MEANT TO BE LIVED! NO MATTER HOW OBSCENE THEY MAY BE!

-Diamond Tiara and company look out to the crowd, and shake their heads as they are not impressed. Filthy Rich smiles as her daughter gets in the ring-

-Diamond stomps her foot, and demands another mic. She slaps the announcer when he/she gives it to her-

Crowd: OHH! -The crowd then begins to slightly boo. It's obvious they know these 3 are meant to be heels-

Diamond Tiara: -goes from disgusted to happy as she sees her dad- DADDY! -She goes to hug him, but falls to the mat as Filthy Rich moves out of the way-

-The crowd cheers and laughs-

Filthy: Sorry, pumpkin...it's time you learned some RESPECT...that's why you're in this company. Slapping our ring announcer? That's childish and UNACCEPTABLE!

-Silver Spoon and Turf try to help Diamond Tiara up, but she yells at them in embarrassment. She gets up on her own power-

Diamond: -Angrily- DADDY! I can't BELIEVE you would embarrass me in front of all of these LOSERS! -Crowd boos-

Filthy: THAT'S another thing...these fans will be the ones that sign your paychecks. It would be wise to show them some respect, as well.

Diamond: But this isn't FAAAAIRRRRR! I shouldn't have to...-grimaces-...WORK for MONEY! What if I break a nail in this ring? -Silver Spoon and Turf nod behind her in dramatic fashion- THAT...would be...a DISASTERRRRR...

Filthy: You are a grown woman, Diamond Tiara! It's time you pay for your needs.

Diamond: What I NEED is a little nepotism here, daddy! You can't put your innocent baby girl in front of all of these BARBARIC fans while some other SKANK tries to rip apart her face!

Filthy: That's why I paid for you to get into that Dojo when you were little...to FIGHT back.

Diamond: -Pouts- That dirty Asian taught me to KICK, not KICK a bitch that's RUNNING AT ME FULL-STEAM AHEAD! It was a WASTE of money!

Filthy: Well, now you can earn your money and get into a better Dojo. Look, Diamond...your father is VERY busy right now...I'll leave you and the girls to introduce yourself to the lovely people. Could you do that for me, please?

Diamond: Ugh...-monotone- yeeesss, daddyyyy...

Filthy: -hugs his daughter- Thank you, sweet-pea. Now, if you need anything...just come to my office...-waves at the crowd- Have a good night, everybody! -Filthy leaves the ring, and walks up the ramp-

-Diamond and company continue to wave with giant grins, until Filthy is out of sight. Their grins are now gone-

-Diamond looks out towards the crowd cruelly, as they boo her even more-

Diamond: Listen up, you fat, neck-bearded slobs...I'm only going to tell you this ONCE...I'm Diamond Tiara...-she holds the mic to her left-

Silver Spoon: I'm Silver Spoon... -then to her right-

Turf: And I'm Turf...-she blows a kiss at the crowd-

Diamond: We are the H.B.I.C's here at this dump...that's Head. Bitches. In. Charge. Now you all know, and soon...EVERYBODY in the back will know. If anybody forgets, we WON'T hesitate to remind you AGAIN! That's all you need to know, and I'm sure it's all your small brains can comprehend...-Diamond quickly snaps- Let's go, chicks...

Silver Spoon: -gasps- But, Diamond! We forgot to do the thing!

Diamond: The thing? -realizes- Ohhhh...haha! You sure they can handle it? Whatever...fine. For your enjoyment, here is our TREAT for all of you losers...and NO, you are NOT allowed to use this fuel to write your disgusting fanfiction!

-Diamond, Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to do the Bump, Bump, Sugar Lump, Rump, but are interrupted at the end by...-

Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky

-Turf and Silver gasp in shock, as Diamond Tiara grits her teeth-

Ahuizotl: Well, this is unexpected...

Garble: And so RUDE! This is Scootaloo, one of the many LOSERS Diamond Tiara was referring to in the back! Why is SHE out here?

Ahuizotl: I suppose she had enough of Diamond Tiara's chivalry.

Garble: HOW is that possible? I could listen to DT's sexy voice ALL DAY...

Ahuizotl: I don't think you're the only one...-Ahuizotl notices 5 people have already sent him DTxSSxTurf fanfics on his tumblr-

Garble: ...looks like there's a reason to follow you on tumblr, after all...-grins-

-Scootaloo slowly gets in the ring, and flips her head backward, making her black hoody fall off her head. She immediately gets in Diamond Tiara's face. Silver Spoon and Turf attempt to make her back down-

-Diamond puts a hand up in retortion-

Diamond: Easy, gals...I've got this...and WHY wouldn't I? It's just...-snickers-...Scootaloo! -Diamond, Silver, and Turf cackle. Scootaloo forcefully grabs the mic out of Diamond's hand. The crowd cheers in response-

Scootaloo: Enough of this, Diamond! You just HAVE to be the center of attention, don't you?

Diamond: -Flips her hair- Well, DUH! Look at me! -She poses-

Scootaloo: -Examines- Oh, I'm looking...and the only thing I see, is the same spoiled brat you've been since I've known you!

Diamond: -Giggles- It's not a gimmick, honey...it's a LIFESTYLE.

Scootaloo: You'd figure you would grow the HELL up by now, though. But no...you're still the same old you...insulting the crowd, whining to your dad...you haven't changed a bit...

Diamond: Neither have YOU...and that's NOT a compliment. The only thing that's different is that you don't have those two hood ornaments, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to help you...

Scootaloo: You're right...I DON'T...but I know if they were here, they'd help me...but, since you haven't changed, and I'm pretty sure YOUR two hood ornaments haven't either, you'll probably just gang up on me.

-Turf shoves Scootaloo, and grabs the mic-

Turf: HOOD ORNAMENT? Bitch, you and your tacky insults don't mean a THING when you can't back them up!

-Scootaloo stands up, and wipes her mouth-

Scootaloo: So, I'm right then? You're gonna gang up on me?

Turf: -Smirks- Just like old times...

Scootaloo: Well, I guess without my friends, I'll have to learn to live with this...you three may still be bullies, but I'm stronger than you once knew me...after all, I had to train to be a wrestler. So, you MAY take me down, but I SWEAR on your father's company, Diamond Tiara...I WILL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME! -Crowd cheers-

-Scootaloo swats the mic out of Turf's hand, and knocks Silver Spoon to the mat with a right hand-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo fires the first punch!

Garble: WHAT IS THIS?! THAT LITTLE TICK!

-Scootaloo mounts Turf, and begins reigning down punches on top of her. She is nearly blindsided by Diamond with a karate kick to the side of the head, but Scootaloo catches her foot, and takes her down to the mat with a dragon screw. Scootaloo begins to use Diamond's leg as a weapon, as she sweeps Silver Spoon down to the mat with it, and begins to pound it into Turf's gut-

Small crowd chants: Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo!

Garble: STOP THIS CRAZED WOMAN! SHE'S NUT!

Ahuizotl: Must admit, though...she has a lot of guts taking on all three of them at once...

Garble: STOP ADMITTING AND JUST HELP DT!

Ahuizotl: -Puts up his hands in defense- Hey, don't look at me...I've never been to a dojo...-snickers-

-Diamond tries to use her other foot to kick Scootaloo away, but she grabs that one, as well-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is SKILLED!

Garble: Scootaloo is NUTS!

-Scootaloo twists Diamond's legs into a bow and arrow submission hold-

-Diamond wrath's in pain, and claws at the mat in an attempt to get away. She breaks a few nails-

Garble: Oh no! That's AWFUL! She really DID break a nail!

Ahuizotl: All a part of getting in that ring, if you ask me!

Garble: Oh, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? How can you even see with your eyes so close together!?

Ahuizotl: Maybe it's not the fact that my eyes are too close together, but it's the fact that YOUR eyes are too far apart to see otherwise...

Garble: ...damn.

Ahuizotl: I know...

-As Scootaloo continues to tighten her grip on the submission, she cannot block a legdrop from Silver Spoon. Scootaloo has to let go, as Silver Spoon uses her leg to choke Scootaloo-

Garble: Such innovative offense by Silver Spoon! Get her, DT!

-Turf helps Diamond up. Turf walks over to Scootaloo, and Diamond hobbles over to her. Turf and Diamond pummel Scootaloo with stomps to the abdomen, as Silver Spoon continues to choke her-

-The crowd boos, as more chants of "Scootaloo" are heard-

Garble: Serves her right! How in the world did she think she could take ALL 3 of the H.B.I.C's?

Ahuizotl: Probably because she nearly did...

Garble: SHUT UP!

So together we are all lost on the moon, we all share our home on the moon

-Diamond and Turf cease stopping. Silver Spoon stands up, frightened-

Ahuizotl: Finally, some order! It's the general manager of Lunacy, as well as one of the princesses of Equestria...Princess Luna!

Garble: Oh...ummm...that EVIL Diamond Tiara! Luna should banish her!

Ahuizotl: Don't be a suck-up, boy...-disapproving glare- besides...she should only ban DARING DO!

Crowd: Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!

-Luna acknowledges the fans with a small smile, but raises a hand for them to stop. They do-

Luna: Well, it seems it did not take long for you 4 to cross paths...given your history, such does not surprise me...however, your behavior DOES DISGUST me, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf...your urge to fight, more-so, is what impresses me...-Scootaloo rolls out of the ring, coughing uncontrollably- SCOOTALOO! Inspiring your effort in that ring was...you have no doubt earned the respect of these fans...-the crowd cheers- as well as your debut match here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. That is correct...tonight, in the middle of that ring, Scootaloo...shall go one on one...with Diamond Tiara! -Crowd cheers some more, as Diamond is losing it in the ring- Good luck! -Luna leaves without another word-

Garble: That is HUGE! Good call by Princess Luna! THAT is a match we're ALL looking forward to!

Ahuizotl: I understand what you are doing...and I will play along. Especially after that AMAZING performance by young Scootaloo! If THAT little brawl was just a teaser, I can only IMAGINE the amount of damage those two will do to each other in that ring tonight!

Garble: More importantly...it's ONE on ONE. Turf and Silver Spoon can be in DT's corner, but they have to let her go at it ALONE.

Ahuizotl: Yes. Diamond certainly has something to prove, after the way Scootaloo embarrassed her and her friends!

Garble: Hey! Scootaloo blindsided her!

Ahuizotl: Switching sides again, are we?

Garble: Apparently it's good for business...-smirks-

Filthy Rich: DON'T SAY THAT LIVE!

Garble: I am such a noob...

-Scootaloo continues to cough, but she can't help but grin at Diamond Tiara as she holds her chest. Diamond Tiara cannot help but cause a scene in the ring. Turf and Silver Spoon can only whisper how cute her shoes look to calm her down-

*Commercial break...*

EHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show...

Garble: And as the rebellious ballad of the Insane Clown Posse blares through the Loneyville Asylum, we are set, for the FIRST official match...in Equestrian Wrestling Federation HISTORY.

-Midnight Strike comes through the curtain with a determined look on her face. Behind her emerges Dance Fever, who is doing some outdated Disco dance, Hugh Jelly, who glances at the crowd creepily as he smears grape jelly all over his face, Bill Neigh, who is trying to solve quantum physics, and Clip Clop, who is busy making balloon animals of sloths-

-The 4 males of "The Oddities" begin clapping to the beat of their theme music, trying to get the crowd involved. The crowd soon joins in, but in small doses. Midnight Strike keeps glancing back at her stable mates, shaking her head emotionless at their antics-

-Midnight gets in the ring, and simply stares out at the crowd, throwing her arms up. There really isn't much to her, it seems. All of her stable mates continue to clap and goof off outside the ring-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAALLLL! Introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALEEEEEE, weighing in at 157 POOOOUUNDSSSS...The Killer Beeeeeee...MIIIDDDNIIIIIGGHTTTT STRRRRIIIKKKEEEEEE!

-Midnight stands in one corner, awaiting her opponent-

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no LIIESSS...

Garble: Oh no...not HER...

-Twist comes running out onto the stage. She begins shaking her hips, and then proceeds to twerk her way all the way down to the ring-

Crowd: -Disgusted noises-

Ahuizotl: MY EYEEESSS! MY EYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

-Midnight has turned herself around, as she is now being smothered by the top turnbuckle-

-Twist crawls along the apron seductively, and slides into the ring, as the cameraman gets in there for a horrible shot of her ass-

-The crowd begins to boo. HEAVILY-

Ahuizotl: CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH CANCEL THE MATCH!

-The announcer has thrown up, and thus, cannot announce Twist-

Match 1: "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike vs Twist

-Midnight glares at her opponent, as Twist blushes at her corner-

Garble: -Puts down his barf bag- Now then...'Zotl...tell us about "The Oddities."

Ahuizotl: Ah, yes. I suppose you could call them "the rejects" of Lunacy. Bill Neigh is a college professor by day, and professional wrestler by night, Dance Fever runs an underground Disco club, where he wins EVERY contest that he takes part in, Clip Clop is, well...a clown...and Hugh Jelly...is probably on the Equestria's Most Wanted list in some capacity...

Garble: And Midnight Strike, from the short conversation I had with her today, has NO IDEA what makes her "odd" enough to be in this group.

Ahuizotl: -Nods- She claims that she is a "loner", and that she doesn't understand WHY she got grouped up with these guys. She's a no-nonsense young woman. A RUTHLESS competitor. She's here to break skulls.

Garble: And she doesn't seem too happy with Twist's...entrance...

Ahuizotl: NOBODY was pleased with THAT image...

-Hugh Jelly dips a hand into his jelly jar, and uses it to slick his hair back. He accidentally gets a small puddle of it in the ring-

-Twist charges at Midnight, but slips in the jelly-

Referee: That's it! Ring the bell!

*DINGDINGDIINNGG*

Garble: Uhhhh...what?

-Referee whispers something to the announcer-

Announcer: -Clears throat- The winner by disqualification...TWIIIISSSTTT! -The crowd boos immensely, as Hugh Jelly's face droops-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! HOW IS THAT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE?! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Garble: This referee must not have read the rule book...

-Midnight rolls out of the ring, and walks towards a backpedaling Hugh Jelly, seething. Clip Clop blocks her path, and presents her with a smiley-face balloon. Midnight simply has to touch it with her index finger, and it pops. Clip Clop begins to cry, his makeup running down his face. Dance Fever and Bill Neigh console him, as Midnight runs after Hugh, who has flicked jelly onto the ramp to make Midnight trip over and over again-

Garble: Right from the start, we see the Oddities...ODD relationship...

-Twist begins to roll in the jam in the ring, posing for the crowd, who boos even more-

Ahuizotl: Speaking of odd-OH HELL WHY IS THIS REAL?!

Garble: CUT BACKSTAGE OR SOMETHING QUICK!

*Backstage...*

-Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust are walking through the hall, with huge smirks on their face-

Sunset: And just THINK, Dusty...I'm only one trip to the GM's office, and I'll have the opportunity to DESTROY that goody-two shoes Twilight Sparkle on the FIRST night...

Dust: One on one, she has no chance against you! In the battle royal, she'll just hide behind everybody else.

Sunset: Exactly...this is my big chance. First, I'll take her out, and then, I'll be the champion by the end of the night...

Dust: Yeah you will!

-Sunset stops in her tracks, and blocks Dust from moving-

Sunset: Look over there, Dust...-she points over to Shining Armor-

Dust: Yeah, it's Flash's tag team partner...so what?

Sunset: Don't you see? Imagine the look on Twilight's face if she sees me flirting with her brother...

Dust: -Snickers- Oh yeah! Go work your magic!

-Dust and Sunset saunter on over to Shining Armor-

Sunset: Oh...*giggle* hey, Shining...

Shining Armor: -Looks up from his cell phone- Oh...hey, girls. What's up?

Sunset: Oh, nothing much...just wanted to wish you luck in your match tonight. It's so cool that you and Flash get to wrestle for a chance to move on to the Combo of Carnage tag title match at Proving Grounds...-smiles-

Shining: It sure is! I can't wait to team up with my bro! He said he wouldn't let you down.

Sunset: -Twirls her hair- Oh, I KNOW he won't...and...I'm sure YOU won't either...-takes Shining's hands in hers- Maybe, since we'll ALL be winners after tonight...we can go...-runs a hand through Shining's hair-...CELEBRATE...

Shining:O-oh...I think I would enjoy-

HEY!

Sunset turns to see Cadance glaring at her, with her hands on her hips

Cadance: What the HELL do you think you're doing?

Sunset: Oh, I was just...checking on your boyfriend...seems like he's got a fever...-crosses her arms- Maybe you should keep a better eye on him...-smirks, and turns to Shining- all you need is an icepack...-pats his cheek, and begins to walk off, but still looks back at him- byyyyyeeeeeee...

-Cadance stands by Shining, with her hands still at her hips-

Shining: -Still smiling, but frowns when he notices the look Cadance is giving him- ...What? Babe, she's right! I need an aspirin...

Cadance: Uh huh...and SHE'LL need one after I'm done with her...-looks off in Sunset's direction angrily-

*GM's office...*

-Sunset Summer and Lightning Dust walk in. Luna stands up-

Luna: Well, hello girls...what can we do for you?

Sunset: Look, princess...you wanna make the boss proud? I wanna match with Twilight Sparkle!

Luna: Well, thanks for being so FORMAL about it, Sunset...

Sunset: -Pouts- Think about it, Luna! I'M YOUR star-pupil, and Twilight is your SISTER'S star-pupil...what better way to STICK it to her then giving me the chance to DESTROY her?

Luna: If by "star-pupil", you mean "Lunacy's best superstar", such has remained to be seen, and I have no desire to "stick it" to my sister. We also do not believe barging into one's office is a worthy case of receiving a match with ANYONE you want. Perhaps if you were to show some RESPECT towards your General Manager, we would consider it...

Sunset: Don't play politics with ME! I'm Sunset Shimmer! If I WANT a match, I'll GET it! Do you not have an EYE for talent?

Luna: Perhaps we can also remove you and Ms. Dust from the championship battle royal, as well...

Dust: -Eyes bulge- Oh NO, GML! Sunset is sorry for being so FORCEFUL with you, s-she didn't mean it! By the way, your hair looks BEAUTIFUL today...

Luna: -Deadpan- Kissing our butt also does nothing...

Dust: -Sighs-

Sunset: There is still NO REASON for you to deny your best superstar this! I came here looking for a FIGHT, and-

And you've got one in ME!

Luna: Ms. Cadance...how...unexpected...you...want a match with Sunset Shimmer?

Cadance: -Nods- Yes, ma'am, I do. Sorry to interrupt, but I caught her trying to soften up Shining Armor!

Sunset: Oh, back off, you dunce! It's all mind games. This isn't about YOU, it's about me and your boyfriend's SISTER.

Cadance: It DEFINITELY becomes about ME once you come into MY PERSONAL LIFE. Besides, what would FLASH think about this?

Sunset: He would support me, because he knows how much I've always wanted to get my hands on Twilight. He also realizes that I'll do ANYTHING to get what I want, and if I have to get through YOU to get to TWILIGHT, I'll do it!

Cadance: Come on then, you slut! I'm right here! -Gets in Sunset's face-

Luna: LADIES! LADIES!

-Dust separates the two-

Dust: Calm down, Sunny! You've gotta save your energy for Twilight!

Luna: There isn't going to BE a Twilight...yet, at least. Not until you get through Cadance that is, Sunset.

Sunset: What are you saying?

Luna: What I'm saying is, since you're both willing, and you've already got some bad blood, it only seems logical that you should settle it in the ring...

Dust: She can deal with that! Can't you Sunset?

Sunset: Luckily for Twilight, I CAN. Unluckily for YOU...-pokes Cadance in the chest-...I CAN.

Cadance: So can I...

Luna: It's settled, then. Now, ALL OF YOU! You've made your points clear...GO GET READY!

-Cadance leaves first, and then Sunset-

Dust: -Leaning on Luna's desk- Wow...tough crowd, huh?

Luna: -Sighs, and hits her head on the desk. Lightning Dust runs out of the office-

*Commercial*

The sky turns to a different shade of blue...

Garble: And our next match is going to decide who will move on to the Combo of Carnage tag team title match in 4 weeks at Proving Grounds.

Ahuzitol: The second team in that match will be determined THIS FRIDAY, on Friday Night Sublime!

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL, and will determine two of the participants, in the Combo of Carnage tag team championship match, at PROVING GROOOUUNNDD...introducing first, at a combined weight, of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...the team of SHINING ARMOORRR, and FLASH...SEEENNTTRRRYYYYYY!

Garble: Man, have these two been pumped to team up or WHAT?

Ahuizotl: They became friends through the Army, which both JUST got deployed from a few months ago.

Garble: And THAT is one of the best ways to develop a bromance...dodging bullets everyday, having your buddy's back. If I was gay, I'd call it beautiful!

Ahuizotl: ...

Garble: Are you gay?

Ahuizotl: NO!

Garble: -Smirks- JUUUSSTT checking...

[REDACTED THEME]

Announcer: And, from Canterlot...at a combined weight, of 443 pounds, accompanied by Fleur de LIS! The team of Gustave Le Grand, and FAAANCCCYYPANNTSSSS...EEEEEEGGGGGOOOOOO!

-Fancypants comes out, arm-in-arm with Fleur De Lis. Gustave is lurking next to him, swatting at the fans hands as they try to touch him- -The crowd begins to boo-

Ahuizotl: Ohhhhhhh, I HATE that Gustave Le Grand!

Garble: Heh. Why's that?

Ahuizotl: His MUSTACHE! It makes him look EVILLER than me!

Garble: And more bad-ass than you, too...

Ahuizotl: WHAT HAVE YOU SAID?

Garble: Well, no offense but...you look like a damn monkey, dude! No wonder Daring Do always beats you! SHE looks more intimidating than YOU!

Ahuizotl: -Begins to cry- YOU BASTARD CHILD!

Match 2: EGO vs Shining Armor and Flash Sentry

Garble: I talked to EGO earlier today, and they are POSITIVE they are the most cultured and sophisticated tag team in EWF. Not just of men, but of ALL tag teams!

Ahuizotl: Well, Fancy Pants is one of the biggest moguls in Canterlot. Such a title could REALLY spike up someone's ego...Gustave is known for making the most DELICIOUS eclairs in Equestria.

Garble: And Fleur De Lis, Fancy Pants says, is the fitting piece to the puzzle...one of the most sought-after models in Equestria. And...well...you can see why!

-Fleur De Lis begins posing for the crowd, and the men begin cheering and wolf-whistling at her-

Ahuizotl: Basically, they're all 3 full of themselves, hence the name "EGO."

Garble: Gustave also explained to me that EGO stands for the "Extraordinaire Gentlemen's Organization."

Ahuizotl: Holy crap I need a mustache...

*14 minutes later*

-Flash Sentry floors Fancy Pants with an atomic drop-

Garble: Looks like Flash is in control!

Ahuizotl: Look out, Sublime! You better be watching, because THIS is what you'll have to scout! The fast-paced offense of Flash Sentry, and the technical MASTERY of Shining Armor!

-Gustave runs into the ring, and knocks Shining off of the ropes, sending him crashing back-first into the barricade-

Ahuizotl: OH! Missile Dropkick by Flash takes down the intruding Gustave Le Grand!

-The referee begins to tend to Gustave, telling him he should've stayed out of the ring and all that referee stuck-

Ahuizotl: Flash is in control, even with his partner down! He's calling for Fancy Pants to awaken!

-Flash is blindsided by Fleur De Lis hitting him with one of her fur boots to the back of the head. Flash falls to the canvas-

Crowd: OHH! -Most begin to boo, but others cheer for Fleur's bravery-

Garble: AHAHAHA! And THAT folks, is why you have managers!

Ahuizotl: I can't argue with it. If the referee is too occupied to see it, the rulebook is thrown out the window.

-Fleur rolls out of the ring, and puts her boot back on before applying lip-gloss-

-Gustave rolls out of the ring, but quickly rolls back in, as Fancy Pants already has Flash Sentry in his grasp-

Ahuizotl: EGO...looking to finish the damage that Fleur De Lis started!

*Cream of the Crop!* (BECAUSE ECLAIRS LUL.)

-Gustave quickly exits the ring, as Fancy Pants hooks the leg-

1...2...3!

Garble: It's over! What a STATEMENT by EGO!

Announcer: Here are your winners, Fancy Pants, and Gustave Le GRAAANDDD...EEEGGGOOOOO!

-Gustave picks Flash up, and tosses him over the ring to land by his fallen partner-

-The crowd continues to boo, until Fleur De Lis grabs a microphone, then a good majority cheer. Until Fleur hands the mic to Fancy Pants, then...they boo again-

Garble: What a troll crowd...

-A small blue bumper pops up in the bottom left hand corner. It's a feed that tells you what is trending on Twitter that is EWF related. Trending now is: "#EWF", "#MidnightbeJelly", and "Scootaloo."-

Fancy Pants: Tonight...was only a small example of how EGO operates...

Gustave: And ze more we win...ze bigger ze EGO gets...

Fancy Pants: So, we cannot wish the teams over at Sublime "good luck"...we can only warn them...

Gustave: No matter how much you win, your weak and feeble confidence...will pale in comparison to ze EGO!

-The mic is grabbed by Fleur, and more cheers break out-

Small crowd chants: Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis! Fleur De Lis!

-Fleur almost says something, but instead drops the mic, and cuts a pose instead. The crowd cheers even more-

-Fleur grabs the hands of her two clients, and raises them up into the air in victory-

Ahuizotl: EGO is poised to take home the gold, especially with the crafty Fleur De Lis as their manager...

Garble: And by the sounds of it, Fleur may be bringing more than just wins to EGO! Seems like they've got a bit of a cult following here in the Asylum!

Ahuizotl: I believe they are chanting for Fleur. Non-the-less, by the end of this month, EGO may not only have the momentum, and the gold, but if they showcase more of that skill we saw tonight, they could have the fans in the palms of their hands!

-Fancy waggles his eyebrows at the crowd, Gustave twirls his mustache, and Fleur winks at the crowd, adding in a few more poses-

Ahuizotl: Gustave just keeps teasing my longing heart with that damned MUSTACHE!

-There is a quick cut to the backstage area, where we see a split-screen of Scootaloo on one half of the screen, and Diamond Tiara with Silver Spoon and Turf on the other half.-

Garble: Earlier tonight, those 4 females made their presence felt. Scootaloo showed how fearless she is, and Diamond Tiara and company showed just how much they were willing to humiliate Scootaloo. Coming up next, Diamond Tiara will get that same chance once again...will she succeed? Or will Scootaloo embarrass HER with a loss? That match...is NEXT!

*Commercial*

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true... -Crowd boos-

Garble: And here she comes...the QUEEN of Lunacy...Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Once again, boy, she hasn't proven ANYTHING of the sort. If anything, SCOOTALOO is the queen over HER.

Garble: WHAT? No way! Scootaloo's a chump, and Diamond Tiara is going to prove it!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from Loneyville, weighing in at 127 pounds...DIIIIAAAMMMOONNDD...TIIIIARRAAA! And, she is accompanied to the ring, by Turf, and Silver Spoon!

Ahuizotl: These 3 young ladies are so full of themselves! They should join EGO!

Garble: Oh please. EGO wouldn't even be able to handle the H.B.I.C.'s!

-The trio do the Rump Bump on the ramp, and canter down to the ring in annoying fashion. Turf gets into an argument with one particularly UPSET female fan-

Garble: Pffttt...hater.

Turf: Jump over, bitch! I'll cut you! I ain't even scared of your ratchet ass!

Ahuizotl: Hostile environment here in the Asylum...-security hold the woman back, so she doesn't take Turf up on her offer. Turf laughs at her dismay-

-The three girls jump onto the ring apron, and taunt the fans before getting in the ring. Diamond Tiara balances herself on the ropes, as Silver Spoon and Turf are standing by her side, each holding one of her hands, and shooting their other free hand into the air-

Colourful rainbows catch my eye, when I see you fly across the sky... -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is now or never for young Scootaloo! She said if she was going down, she will take Diamond Tiara and her cohorts down with her!

Garble: Yeeaaahhhhh...she won't. Diamond is ready for her, trust me. She's an AMAZING strategist, and with Turf and Silver Spoon in her corner, she has NOTHING to be afraid of!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville, weighing 134 pounds...SCOOOOTTAAAALLOOOOOOOO!

-Scootaloo slaps hands with the fans, before making a bee-line to the ring. She slides in, and immediately goes right after Diamond Tiara- -The crowd cheers even more at her enthusiasm-

Garble: HEY! That's not fair! She wasn't ready!

Ahuizotl: Guess that Dojo didn't teach her to always be light on your feet!

Garble: Of course it didn't! SHE ONLY LEARNED HOW TO KICK!

-Silver Spoon and Turf quickly get out of the ring, and pull Diamond Tiara away from the repeated stomps of Scootaloo. The crowd boos, and Scootaloo steps back-

Garble: Good. Now Diamond can actually prepare herself! Scootaloo never even gave her a chance!

Diamond: HOW DO I LOOK? ARE THERE ANY BLACK EYES? I SWEAR IF I HAVE ANY BLACK EYES!

-Scootaloo begins to run towards the ropes, the crowd goes "OOOOHHH" in building anticipation. The "OOOHHH" gets louder the closer Scootaloo gets to her destination-

Ahuizotl: I think Diamond Tiara has more to worry about than black -Scootaloo launches herself over the top rope- EYEEEESSSS!

-Scootaloo does a front-flip in mid-air, and takes out the three girls as she lands ontop of them-

Ahuizotl: SCOOTALOO! TAKING FLIGHT! WHAT A MANEUVER!

-Scootaloo quickly gets to her feet, and jumps onto the barricade in excitement. She riles up the fans. They explode with cheers over her athleticism, and in turn begin a chant of "Scootaloo!"-

Garble: -Worriedly- Get up, Diamond Tiara! Get up!

Match 3: Scootaloo vs Diamond Tiara

*11 minutes later*

Ahuizotl: What a MATCH we have going here, folks! Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara have been at each other throats the whole time!

Garble: Diamond Tiara NEEDS the upper hand, and she needs it NOW!

-Scootaloo connects with a right hand to Diamond Tiara, and the crowd goes "YAY!" Diamond connects with a punch of her own, and the crowd goes "BOO!" They do this same spot for a little bit, until Scootaloo skips the punches and goes for a straight enziguri. Diamond ducks it, and quickly applies her very own Bow and Arrow submission-

Garble: AHAHAHAHA! YES!

Ahuizotl: Diamond Tiara has applied the same hold Scootaloo had her in earlier in the night!

Garble: How do you like your own medicine, Scootaloo? TAP! TAP!

*6 minutes later*

-Scootaloo jumps off the top rope, but Diamond Tiara moves out of the way, and Scootaloo lands right on her feet-

Ahuizotl: Looks like Scootaloo may have tweaked something there...

-Diamond Tiara turns Scootaloo around, and goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Scootaloo counters and tackles Diamond to the ground. She then locks in the Bow and Arrow-

Garble: Oh COME ON!

Ahuizotl: Look at Scootaloo cinch in that submission hold! Diamond's going to have to tap!

-Just when it looks like Diamond might tap, Silver Spoon runs into the ring, and drops another legdrop onto Scootaloo. The crowd immediately boos-

Ahuizotl: Oh! Scootaloo was SO close!

-Turf follows suit into the ring, and she and Silver Spoon begin barraging Scootaloo with punches and stomps. Diamond Tiara has to use the ropes to get up, but she shoves the girls out of the way, and drags Scootaloo over to the turnbuckle, where she begins choking her with her knee-

Diamond: You think you're better than me?! DO YOU?! You're NOTHING!

-Scootaloo spits in Diamond's face, and the crowd goes "OOOHHH!"

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo is sassy and defiant!

Garble: She's dumb more than anything. Diamond is FUMING!

-Diamond kicks Scootaloo in the head, causing her to hunch over. She grabs her by her hair, and drags her to the middle of the ring-

Diamond: FLAWWWLEESSSS! *DIAMOND CUTTER!*

-Turf gets on the ground, and grabs Scootaloo by her hair. She shows the world her face, and then slaps it down-

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo...even in victory...still falls to Diamond Tiara...

Garble: Like I said...she's the QUEEN. You don't cross her!

-Diamond, Silver, and Turf spit on Scootaloo simultaneously, and stomp off to the back, leaving her motionless on the mat-

*Commercial*

*Backstage*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman I am here with two of the participants in tonight's world championship battle royal...Twilight Sparkle...and Rarity. Girls, tonight, you both have the chance to not only win your debut match, but to win the most coveted title here on Lunacy...you're ALSO friends, is that correct?

Twilight: That is correct, [REDACTED]. Me and Rarity have been through a lot together...

Rarity: We sure have, darling. But do not be mistaken! Jewelry is a ladies' BEST friend, and that title is the biggest piece of jewelry I've ever seen! -Stars dance in her eyes- Me and Twilight's friendship will last FOREVER...but I will NOT let this GOLDEN opportunity pass me buy!

Twilight: Nor will I. The villains have reigned supreme so far on Lunacy, but that will all change. The fans of Lunacy want something to cheer for? Then they don't have to look any further! I will be HONORED to represent them as champion, and I pledge to be the most honorable champion the EWF will ever see.

Rarity: I would expect no less from you, dear. -Extends her hand- Good luck!

-Twilight shakes it-

Twilight: Good luck to you, as well, Rarity. And good luck to YOU, fans! You have to overcome all the villains that are winning tonight! Down with Sunset! Let's go Cadance! -Twilight squees, and walks off pumping her fists-

Interviewer: She sounds full of herself...

Rarity: She sounds loopy...-snickers with the interviewer-

And now...it's all over now...

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL! Making her way to the ring, first...from Canterlot, weighing in at 143 pounds...SUNSEEETT...SHIIIMMEERRRRR!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer sure has let her ambitions be known tonight. She flirted with Shining Armor in an attempt to get into the head of Twilight Sparkle, but instead, she got Shining's girlfriend, Cadance's attention.

Garble: And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...Sunset can make up all the excuses she wants! Cadance KNOWS what happened backstage, and she'll be looking to make Sunset PAY for it.

[REDACTED] THEME

Announcer: And her opponent, from Crystalville...weighing in at 129 pounds...CADDDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

Garble: I'll tell ya...Shining Armor is one lucky guy. How did a loser like him get such a BABE like Cadance?

Ahuizotl: How did YOU get a job here?

Garble: Bought a contract off of Ebay.

Ahuizotl: -Shrugs- Makes sense...

-Sunset smirks at Cadance from her corner-

Match 4: Cadance vs Sunset Shimmer

*21 minutes later*

-Cadance clotheslines Sunset and herself over the top rope-

Garble: What a spill, out go both ladies!

Ahuizotl: And what a physical match it's been! Though, we can say that about EVERY match tonight, these two women have REALLY raised the bar!

-Sunset and Cadance begin brawling out by the barricade. Sunset cranes Cadance's neck, and thrusts her face into the barricade in a downward motion. The crowd goes "OOHHHH!"

Garble: Damn! Cadance's face splats against that barricade! There's STEEL underneath that padding!

-Sunset crawls back away from Cadance, and looks at the announce table-

Ahuizotl: What is she thinking?

-Sunset maliciously grins, gets back into the ring, and quickly rolls back out. She powerwalks over to the announce table, and begins to chuck the cover and monitors off-

Ahuizotl: She's getting up close and person with our headquarters!

Garble: -Excited- I like the sound of that!

Ahuizotl: Oh, you FILTHY boy, you!

-Sunset turns around to see Cadance running straight at her. She sidesteps her, and uses her own motion to toss her into the air, and through the table-

Garble: OH CRAP!

Ahuizotl: OUR TABLE IS IN PIECES, AND SO IS CADANCE!

-Sunset falls backward, as even she is in shock of the scene, but she quickly crawls into the ring-

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: I've got to agree with the crowd here! What STRENGTH by Sunset Shimmer!

Ref: 9...10! RING THE BELL! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: It is EMPHATICALLY OVER. Sunset Shimmer. DOMINATE.

Garble: Cadance. DEAD.

Announcer: Here is your winner...SUNSEETTTTT...SHIIIMMEERRRR!

-The ref tries to raise Sunset's hand, but she swats it away. She goes outside, picks up a chair, and begins to bash it over Cadance's prone back-

Ahuizotl: Oh now that's QUITE enough! You prove your point!

Garble: Throughout this match we saw just how VISCOUS Sunset Shimmer is...this is just the cherry on TOP of the devilish smoothie!

-Sunset unfolds the chair, and sits down on it. She uses Cadance's back as her footstool-

Garble: Wow...THAT's the ultimate act of embarrassment.

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer...a BIG win over Cadance, which is sure to carry over into the upcoming battle royal...but more importantly, will Cadance even be able to participate?

-Sunset folds her arms around her back, and closes her eyes as she continues to sit in the chair. A few fans are booing, but most are chanting "SUN-SET SHI-MMER!"

*Commercial*

-As we come back, we notice Horsepower is in a suit. He has a clipboard, and he's standing next to a velvet rope-

Ahuizotl: Well, we're back everybody and...what the hell is going on here?

Garble: It's a party! HAHA! Obviously YOU'RE not invited!

-The lights go dim, and some catchy pop/electronic music plays. A spotlight is shone on a pair of white boots with white tassels. The feet move down the ramp quick, and then move back up to the top of the ramp. As the music climaxes, the camera focuses on the face of Rumble, just as he takes off his sunglasses. He has a cell-phone in hand, and he has Flitter around one arm, and Cloudchaser on the other-

Ahuizotl: WOW. Rumble looks...impressive.

Garble: Oh yeah...and so do Flitter and Cloudchaser...YOWZA!

-Rumble begins to take selfies of himself as Flitter and Cloudchaser lead him down the ramp. They don't even have to stop as Horsepower unclips the velvet rope, and lets them through. Rumble departs from the girls, as he slides onto the apron, and poses in a side-way manner. He takes a bunch more selfies as Flitter claps, and Cloudchaser fans himself. Rumble gets into the ring, but doesn't open the ropes for the ladies, as he is too occupied taking selfies of himself, so they have to get in the ring without any help. Rumble takes even MORE selfies as Flitter retrieves a mic for him. Rumble happily takes the mic, and almost speaks, but he first takes more selfies. He hands his phone to Cloudchaser-

Rumble: Obviously you are all impressed...I...am Rumble...-he poses as Cloudchaser snaps some pictures of him- Small in size, but truly my greatest strengths come from...other sources...-He glances at Flitter. Flitter giggles, and locks lips with him for a moment- That big man over there, is Horsepower...MY HEAVY! He's going to keep the fuddy-duddies away, and let the REAL stars in...You could say "bouncer"...buutttt I wouldn't...he gets REALLLLLL mad-ANYWAY that's not important...what IIIISSS important...is ME. -He poses some more- I'm gorgeous, I'm photogenic, and I'm...-looks off into the distance- I'm gorgeous! I'm here to lay claim...to the title...Champion of Carnage-BLEH! -Flitter shakes her head- Yes, that name IS a bit tacky, but then again...haha...so is our general manager... -The crowd goes "OOOHHHH!"- I MUCH more prefer..."Champion Of GORGEOUS"! No matter WHAT you want to call it, though...I WANT IT...and, when you LOOK like I do...getting something...is MUCH much much easier...so I propose the question...who out there is worthy of stepping into the ring with the "Gorgeous One"? HMMMM? Well, if I'm being honest...I'd like to guess NOBODY, however...HOWEVER...I cannot be the champion of ANYTHING...well, besides "Gorgeous"-heh...if I have nobody to beat...so...who will walk the lonely road of loserdom, only to be bested by my superior essence of EVERYTHING? WHO? -Pause- EEEEXXAACCTTTLLYYYYY...everybody back there realizes that I'm just TOO hot to handle, so Luna...sweetie...it might be best to just GIVE me that title, because there's nobody in the back that wants to try their hand at-

All my life I've been searching for something...

Ahuizotl: Hey! Here we go!

-Overdrive comes out to the stage, mocking Rumble with some poses of his own. Rumble rolls his eyes in the ring. Overdrive stops at the velvet rope, as it is now closed-

Rumble: Hey, big man! For once in his life...he's on the list...-smirks-

-Horsepower complies, and opens the rope for Overdrive to pass. He gets in the ring, and grabs his own microphone-

Rumble: Okay...who are YOU?

Overdrive: I'm Overdrive...

Rumble: Okay...ehhhhh...you're...AVERAGE looking, at best...got some nice abs...good for you! But you aren't the total package like MOI!

Overdrive: I hate to burst your little reality bubble, but being a champion isn't about JUST looks...let's see if you can go in the ring, Rumble...-Overdrive flaps his hand towards himself-

Rumble: HA! You WISH it was that easy! You're cute with your little spontaneous gameplan. Didn't you hear a word I said? You have to EARN a title shot...and what better way to earn it...-he looks over Overdrive's shoulder-...then facing big Horsepower?

Overdrive: -Bites his lower lip- Should've known...all talk and no action...fine, though...I'll humor you, Fabio...

Rumble: Excellent...oh, Mr. Refereeeeee...come down here for a minute...-a referee runs down to the run and slides in- Oh...and Fabio has NOTHING on me! -Rumble leaves the ring with Flitter and Cloudchaser, as Horsepower rips off his suit and enters the ring with a menacing snort-

Garble: Oh, wonderful! We're being joined by Mr. Gorgeous himself, Rumble!

-Rumble sits down in the extra chair next to Ahuizotl. Flitter and Cloudchaser sit on his lap-

Rumble: Normally I wouldn't degrade myself by talking to...ugh...the commentators...but I have an immense fear of ring aprons, so that's a no-no...

Ahuizotl: Do you also have a fear of fighting? Because it seems you do.

Rumble: I will not even dignify such an un-gorgeous question with a gorgeous response. If this "Overdrive" fellow wants a title shot, he must EARN it. Simple as that.

Ahuizotl: And when will you EARN it, instead of naming yourself a contender?

Rumble: -Sigh- In due time, my dear lowly commentator...I shouldn't HAVE to...but I assume it's only FAIR...

*8 minutes later*

Garble: I do not mean to take the spotlight off of you, Mr. Rumble, but I must say...Flitter and Cloudchaser are BEAUTIFUL.

Rumble: Hmm, yes...that they are...-Cloudchaser begins to nibble on Rumble's ear- A gorgeous man ALWAYS surrounds himself with gorgeous women...-Flitter nuzzles at Rumble's neck-

Ahuizotl: Any chance we can get the girls' thoughts on their involvement in tonight's main event?

Rumble: They're a little bit...tied up at the moment...-Cloudchaser giggles in Rumble's ear- I will say this on their behalf...whether or not one of my two GORGEOUS valets win the championship, they still will get to look forward to ME becoming a champion in due time...

Garble: I cannot wait either, Mr. Rumble!

-Horsepower goes for a running body-block, but Overdrive counters with a scoop powerslam-

Garble: Oh! A counter out of nowhere by Overdrive!

Ref: 1...2...3! -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: He got him! Out of nowhere, Overdrive caught Horsepower, and pinned him!

Announcer: Here is your winner...OVVERRRDRRRIIVVVEEEE!

-Rumble pushes Flitter and Cloudchaser off of him in dissatisfaction-

Ahuizotl: Does THIS make Overdrive a worthy challenge for you, Rumble?

-Rumble throws down his headset, and marches into the ring. He turns Overdrive around, and gets floored by a clothesline from him-

Ahuizotl: Explosion by Overdrive! I'm sure Rumble wasn't expecting that!

-Rumble rolls out of the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rush over to check on him-

-Overdrive pumps up the crowd by leaping onto all 4 turnbuckles and raising his arms-

Garble: Overdrive got the upperhand THIS time, but Rumble will be back...even more GORGEOUS than ever!

Ahuizotl: Speaking of Gorgeous...coming up next...it's our MAIN EVENT. 20 GORGEOUS women will compete in the same ring, at the same time, to find out who will be the Women's Eternal Champion!

Garble: Yes! Flitter and Cloudchaser! Get to stay out! I can't wait!

*Commercial*

-Skip all entrances because they don't matter-

Announcer: This...is the MAIN EVENT...of the evening...a 20 woman battle royal, to determine the first EVVVERRR...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...CHAAAMMPPIOOONNN...

Main Event: 20 Woman Battle Royal: Women's Eternal World Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Lightning Dust vs Twilight Sparkle vs Rarity vs Flitter vs Cloudchaser vs Diamond Tiara vs Scootaloo vs Turf vs Silver Spoon vs Midnight Strike vs Lyra vs Bon Bon vs Cadance w/ Shining Armor vs Fleur De Lis vs Colgate vs Twist vs Honeycomb vs Sparkler vs Berry Punch

Garble: Most of these women you haven't gotten to met yet until now, but over the course of this show, you will learn what they are about, for sure!

-Twist begins to twerk in front of everybody, so they all throws her out in disgust-

Ahuizotl: That's an elimination for all mankind!

Elimination 1: Twist by Everybody else

Elimination 2: Berry Punch by Sunset Shimmer

Garble: There goes the roster's drunk!

-Fleur De Lis continues to pose instead of attack anybody until she gets grabbed and dumped out by Rarity- -Some of the crowd boos-

Garble: I agree! BOO!

Elimination 3: Fleur De Lis by Rarity

Elimination 4: Colgate by Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust

Ahuizotl: Nice teamwork by the fearsome duo, and the part-time dentist is out!

Garble: She can give me ORAL ANY DAY...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhh...I don't think it works like that...

Elimination 5: Sparkler by Cadance

Ahuizotl: What heart by Cadance! She was mercilessly attacked by Sunset Shimmer earlier, but she keeps showing us what she's got!

Garble: A championship will do the to you...

Elimination 6: Bon Bon by Turf

Ahuizotl: There goes Lyra's teammate!

Lyra: -Cry- I will avenge you, Bon Bon! -She turns around, and begins pummeling Turf with headbutts. Silver Spoon tries to intervene, but Lyra hip-tosses her out of the ring-

Garble: Oh! And DT's leverage on this match just want down a little! I still believe in her, but truthfully, the more allies she has in there, the better a chance she has of winning.

Ahuizotl: It is STILL every woman for herself, anyway.

Garble: I know! But it's nice to have an insurance policy or two.

Elimination 7: Silver Spoon by Lyra

-As Lyra high fives Bon Bon outside the ring, Diamond Tiara sneaks up behind her and pushes her out-

Garble: Yes! There ya go, DT! Rack up those outties!

Elimination 8: Lyra by Diamond Tiara

-Scootaloo flies off the top rope, but Sunset catches her-

Garble: Once again, the strength of Sunset Shimmer is on display!

-Scootaloo reverses, and guides Sunset over to the ropes while she is in powerbomb position. She bends over backwards, grabs the ropes, and flips Sunset over onto the apron-

Ahuizotl: Sunset's hanging on!

-Scootaloo rolls back into the ring, runs off the ropes, and dropkicks Sunset. Sunset flies off of the apron, but is caught by Shining Armor before she falls to the floor. The crowd goes "OOOOHHH!" at the drama-

Garble: Ahaha! Looks like Sunset's got a knight in SHINING ARMOR! AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHA!

Ahuizotl: Go home.

-Shining Armor blushes, as Sunset looks up at him and kisses him on the cheek. Cadance notices that, and walks over to the scene-

Cadance: What are you doing, Shining?! PUT HER DOWN! SHE'S JUST USING YOU! SNAP OUT OF I-

-Lightning Dust sneaks up behind Cadance and dumps her out-

Ahuizotl: And Lightning Dust takes advantage! How opportunistic!

-Lightning Dust cackles-

-Sunset leaps out of Shining's arms, jumps on the fallen Cadance, jumps on the ring apron, and enters it once again-

Garble: SPEAKING of opportunistic! What agility by Sunset Shimmer!

Ahuizotl: She HAS to be the favorite to win this, so far!

-Shining Armor is checking on his girlfriend, when all of a sudden, Snips and Snails attack him from behind-

Garble: The hell? SNIPS AND SNAILS!? They're attacking Shining Armor!

-Snips Irish whips Shining into the steel steps, toppling them over in the process-

Ahuizotl: Why are they doing this?!

Snails picks up the steel steps, as Snips lays Shining's head against the ringpost. Snails rears back, and POUNDS the steps against Shining's head. Shining falls to the floor, his head busted wide open. Flash Sentry comes running down to fend off the attackers, but Snips and Snails have already jumped over the barricade, and are making their way through the crowd-

Ahuizotl: It happened so fast...why? I...I don't understand...

Garble: I believe that's the point...we're not SUPPOSED to understand...

Elimination 9: Cadance by Lightning Dust

-Scootaloo comes off the top, and double dropkicks both Flitter and Cloudchaser. The two get up, and are both eliminated by a double clothesline from Honeycomb-

Garble: Awww! Sadface...

Ahuizotl: Honeycomb is the wildcard in this match. We don't really know much about her, except she is a former beautician.

Garble: She has just as good a chance as anybody else in that ring, no matter the profession. I'm pulling for Diamond Tiara, though!

Eliminations 10 and 11: Flitter and Cloudchaser by Honeycomb

-Honeycomb spots Turf and Twilight in the same position Flitter and Cloudchaser were in. She goes to double clothesline them, as well, but Turf and Twilight vault her over the top rope-

Garble: Oh...that's too bad.

Ahuizotl: Don't be such a sour-puss...she put up a great effort!

Garble: Better luck next time!

Elimination 12: Honeycomb by Twilight and Turf

-Everybody stops fighting, and looks around. The 4 heels, Sunset Shimmer, Lightning Dust, Diamond Tiara, and Turf line up on one side of the ring, as the 4 faces, Rarity, Twilight, Scootaloo and Midnight Strike line up on the other side.

-The crowd is pumped, and begins going wild-

Garble: It's an old fashioned stare-down, but with the HOTTEST cowboys I've ever seen! They're ALL big enough for MY town!

Ahuizotl: You never stop...do you, boy?

-Twilight goes after Sunset, Lightning goes after Rarity, Scootaloo goes after Diamond, and Turf goes after Midnight-

Ahuizotl: Everything's breaking down!

*7 minutes later*

-Turf and Diamond Tiara are setting up for a double DDT on Twilight by the ropes. Twilight counters and vaults them both over the top rope. Turf falls, but Diamond hangs on-

Ahuizotl: Turf is out! Diamond has no one left to turn to!

Garble: Hang in there, Diamond! You can do it!

Elimination 13: Turf by Twilight Sparkle

-Lightning Dust comes running at Diamond, looking to spear her to the floor. Diamond leaps in the air, and Lightning Dust falls through the ropes, and down to the floor-

Garble: Yes! Diamond hangs on!

-Scootaloo comes running at Twilight, and Twilight tries to vault her over the top, but Scootaloo moves herself in midair and hooks Diamond Tiara's neck. She brings her neck all the way down to the ropes, which causes Diamond to slink down to the floor-

Ahuizotl: WOW! Scootaloo changed her trajectory in MIDAIR, and was able to eliminate your pick, Garble, with a rope-assisted DDT!

Garble: I gotta admit...little Scoots' has spunk...that was an UNBELIEVABLE maneuver!

-Doctors come to check on Diamond Tiara, as she is coughing up blood-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...looks like Diamond Tiara is losing more than that championship here tonight...

Garble: She's losing blood, too...I hope she's okay...

Ahuizotl: We MUST get back to the match, though. It is TOP priority.

Elimination 14: Diamond Tiara by Scootaloo

-Midnight picks up Rarity, and goes to Oklahoma Slam her to the floor, but Rarity counters with elbows to the back of the head. Midnight then chops the hell out of Rarity-

Garble: Midnight is a RUTHLESS individual! Like we said before, she's here to break skulls, and she may have just broken Rarity's cleavage flesh!

-Rarity catches one of Midnight's chops, and tosses her onto the apron. She takes her arm and rams it down onto the rope, causing Midnight to fall in pain.

Ahuizotl: All of that determination will pay off for Midnight ONE DAY...just not today...

Elimination 15: Midnight by Rarity

-Rarity and Twilight meet in the middle to shake hands one last time. When Twilight shakes, Rarity grabs her arm and Irish whips her into the corner. She stands on the middle rope, and begins to rain down punches onto her-

Crowd: 123456789-

-Sunset Shimmer sneaks up and simply shoves Rarity off of Twilight, and out to the floor-

Garble: Rarity was playing to the crowd, and it cost her!

Ahuizotl: She DID almost have Twilight eliminated, though.

Garble: Yeah, well she took too long.

Elimination 16: Rarity by Sunset Shimmer

-Scootaloo, Sunset and Twilight meet in the middle of the ring, and stare each other down-

Ahuizotl: The final 3...

Garble: Don't trust Twilight, Scootaloo!

Ahuizotl: Don't trust ANYBODY, ANYBODY.

-Scootaloo and Sunset look at one another, and smirk. They give a simple nod, and back Twilight into a corner-

Garble: Nice! She took my advice! Great strategy! Eliminate the fraud, and then leave it all on the line...

-As they are about to pounce on Twilight, Scootaloo dropkicks Sunset from the side, and sends her over the top rope, hanging on by a thread-

Ahuizotl: I can't believe it! Scootaloo has outsmarted Sunset Shimmer!

Garble: Not sure how smart this is! Sunaloo could've been an UNSTOPPABLE team!

-Now trending on Twitter: "#BattleRoyal", "Rumble", and "#AhuizotlsGay"-

Ahuizotl: STOP THAT!

-Scootaloo and Twilight lock hands, and uses them to clothesline Sunset down to the floor- -Some of the crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Finally! Sunset Shimmer...has been ELIMINATED!

Garble: We are down to two!

Elimination 17: Sunset Shimmer by Twilight and Scootaloo

*4 minutes later*

-Scootaloo is up top, when Twilight catches her with a jumping enziguri. She climbs up to the top with her, and grabs a handful of her tights-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...these two are in a precarious position!

-Suddenly, Lightning Dust runs back into the ring-

Garble: Oh my God! L-lightning Dust! She was never eliminated!

-Lightning shoves Twilight, which causes her to fall over Scootaloo's head, and since she still has her tights grabbed, she brings her down to the floor anyway as the superplex is complete-

-The crowd is split. Half cheer, and half boo as the bell rings-

Ahuizotl: SHE DID IT! LIGHTNING DUST DID IT! SHE SLIPPED IN THROUGH THE CRACKS, AND TURNED THAT CRACK INTO A GAPING HOLE!

Announcer: Here is your winner...and the NEEEEEWWWWWW...WOMEN'S...ETERNAL...WORLD CHAAAMMPPIOOONN...LIIIIGGHHTTTNNIINNGGG DUUUSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Garble: The. First. EVER Women's Eternal World Champion! Lightning Dust pondered her time, she waited it out, and when the moment was right, she came in and PUNCHED HER TICKET...INTO HISTORY!

-Princess Luna comes out with a black satchel-

Garble: And here comes Princess Luna, in what we can only assume is the championship coronation...of Lightning Dust...

-Luna enters the ring, unzips the satchel, and reveals the Women's Eternal World Championship. At this point, Lightning Dust is on her knees, begging for the title. Luna asks her to stand up, and she does. Luna goes behind her, and puts the title around Lightning Dust's waist. Confetti begins to fall from the ceiling-

Garble: What a celebration for our new champion! Our UNEXPECTED...WORLD CHAMPION!

Ahuizotl: This entire NIGHT was unexpected...you never knew WHAT was going to happen! I can only HOPE it is like this EVERY week from here on out...I am Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble. We leave you, with the lasting image, of YOUR world champion...LIGHTNING DUST...

-Lightning Dust gets onto the top turnbuckle, and points at her waist-

Lightning: YEEEAAAAH-HAHAHAHAAAAA! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

-The show ends with one final image of Lightning Dust removing the title from her waist, and holding it high and proud in the air, as confetti continues to fall, and fireworks begin to go off...-

Quick Results:

Twist defeated Midnight Strike via Disqualification (Jelly)
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants) defeated The BroMans (Flash Sentry and Shining Armor)
Scootaloo defeated Diamond Tiara via Disqualification (Outside Interference)
Sunset Shimmer defeated Cadance via Countout
Overdrive defeated Horsepower
Lightning Dust won Battle Royal

Backstage Fallout will air after every Lunacy on the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's YouTube channel. Our random anon cameraman will stalk the backstage area, looking for interviews with the superstars of Lunacy. He will discuss with them the most recent happenings of the most recent show...

-Anon finds Turf and Silver Spoon outside of the trainer's room. They look very distraught. He walks up to them-

Anon: Ladies? How is Diamond Tiara doing?

Silver Spoon: Every time it looks like the blood is going to stop...she just KEEPS coughing more up...

Turf: Doc said she could have a crushed larynx. That's all we know...he kicked us out so he could work on her...

Anon: Diamond was eliminated by Scootaloo, who was the one that gave her that DDT which, in turn, caused the blood to flow...do you think this may have been some sort of out-there karma that came back to bite Diamond after what she did to Scootaloo earlier in the night?

Turf: Karma? Pfttt...can you believe this idiot? -Silver Spoon shakes her head in disgust- Scootaloo knew EXACTLY what she was doing...she wanted to PUNISH DT...she wanted to EMBARRASS DT...why did she have to take it so far? She could've clotheslined her off that apron-KICKED her off that apron...ANYTHING simple-but no...she WANTED to put DT in this position...I HOPE she's happy...

Anon: Well, girls...you DID kind of start this whole thing at the beginning of the night...you attacked Scootaloo to start the show, and interfered in her match. In Scootaloo's mind, this must make you all even.

Turf: No, no, no, no...SCOOTALOO started this off by interrupting US. We didn't SET our sights on Scootaloo, for your information...SHE dug herself into this hole. We've been on Scootaloo for YEARS now...we figured she'd just stay away -chuckles-. At the end of the day, no matter WHO would've came out to that ring to confront us, they would've been our target...because we're the Head Bitches around these parts. We didn't hand-pick Scootaloo...she handpicked HERSELF...so...she paid for it...and because of that...now Diamond is paying for it...

Anon: Does this mean you...feel remorse for picking a fight with Scootaloo?

Turf: HELL NO. If anything, now we have as big a reason as EVER to take it to her! She took out our GIRL...our SISTER...you think we're going to let this slide?

Silver Spoon: SPOILER ALLEERRRTTTT...-serious face-...we're NOT. Next Monday, Scootaloo had better be READY...not for Diamond Tiara...but for US! -Turf shoves the camera out of their face, and the feed cuts from there-

*Later...*

-Anon enters Scootaloo's locker room. She is sitting at a folding chair, a sweat-stained rag adorning her head-

Anon: Scootaloo. Really wanted to congratulate you on your inspiring performance tonight.

Scootaloo: -Looks up, breathing heavily- Tha-...thank...thank you...it means a lot to go out there my first night and show the fans of the newest generation of wrestling what I've REALLY got.

Anon: Diamond Tiara supposedly may have a crushed larynx, as a result of your DDT to her. How do you feel about this?

Scootaloo: The same way she must've felt after beating me down and spitting on the back of my head...-grins- GLORIOUS. Yeah, I've got no remorse...-splashes some water onto her head- she had it coming to her. There's only so much a person can take...after YEARS of torment and abuse, I SNAPPED tonight. During the school years, I took Diamond's bullying in stride...I knew it wouldn't be smart to respond with my fists...I knew my time would come...tonight...was my time. That's one of the reasons I'm glad to be here...I can right all the wrongs...I can put my troubles to rest. I haven't quite done that yet, but I feel I'm on the right track...hell, I almost won the CHAMPIONSHIP in the process...I only expected to take out my frustrations on my demons tonight, not become "the man", as they say, on Lunacy. -Chuckles- Almost killed two birds with one stone...

Anon: Turf and Silver Spoon have stated that they WILL be at Lunacy next week, and they're coming to take YOU out. Your response?

Scootaloo: -Waves it off- Fine by me. Let them come. I proved tonight that I CAN overcome the odds...I took it to all THREE of those jerks. Sure, in the end, they beat the CRAP out of me...TWICE...but I got the LAST LAUGH, because I proved that I am a WINNER, not a LOSER like they have claimed me to be since the third grade...-Scootaloo looks dead at the camera- HAH. HAH.

*Later...*

-Anon spots Sunset Shimmer by the buffet table, munching on a churro-

Anon: Sunset Shimmer...

Sunset: -Looks up to see Anon. Scrunches her face in disgust, and slows down her chews- ...What do you want?

Anon: ...How's the churro?

Sunset: Wow...what award-winning journalism skills you sure have. -Swallows- Very bland, like your skills with the camera...STOP SHAKING!

Anon: -Shakes even more- A-apologies, Sunset...would it be okay to ask you a few questions?

Sunset: -Shrugs- Meh. Guess you'll get fired if you don't...in that case, NO-HAHA! Just kidding, dweeb...what's on your mind?

Anon: How do you feel about your friend, Lightning Dust winning the world title?

Sunset: -Suddenly becomes very gleeful- I'm so proud of her! She deserves it! She's out now, getting the wine nice and cold...we're going to CELEBRATE...just like we SAID we would. I beat Cadance, and SHE is the champion. Damn...didn't think it would take one night for us to OWN this show...

Anon: Will Shining Armor be joining you in the festivities? Also, can't you admit that things didn't go EXACTLY as you planned tonight?

Sunset: I gave Shining the key to our hotel room, so he'd be a FOOL not to show up. I could think of a LOT of fun things we could do...-giggles- But that's classified information...as far as your second question, yeah, I didn't expect things to turn out like this. I mean, sure, I beat Cadance and all, but I stated that I WOULD be champion by the end of the night...and...well...I'm not. I'm apparently in this rivalry with Cadance right now, which DOES make me preoccupied, and let's face it...Cadance does NOT deserve to be champion, so a thing between me and her for the title wouldn't work...so, I'll destroy her, take her man, and Lightning Dust can begin what is sure to be a MEMORABLE reign as champion. I'll do my thing, and she'll do her thing...so, in the end, it really DOES work out.

Anon: What does Flash Sentry, your boyfriend, think about your flirtatious behavior with his tag team partner?

Sunset: Flash Sentry knows where his heart lies, and he knows that I can be VERY confrontational...it's a female's nature to FIGHT. It's just natural for us. I wanted to fight Twilight, however, and not her baby-sitter, but I'll take any fight I can get...it all ends in me being the most dominant female in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...champion or NOT.

-Anon sees Flitter and Cloudchaser over by the makeup table-

Cloudchaser: Is that enough blush, Flitty?

Flitter: -Shakes her head, and frowns- Sorry...I can still see the black eye...

Cloudchaser: Ugh! Fine...the more the merrier...-dabs the brush, and applies more blush to her eyes-

Anon: Uhhh...ladies?

-Cloudchaser puts down her makeup, as she and Flitter turn around to face Anon-

Flitter: Oh! Hi there, cutie...-giggles-

Anon: Hi, girls...-blushes- It seems you're both a worse for wear after the battle royal.

Cloudchaser: Yeah, got myself a dinger. It's going to take ALL of the Mary Kay I have to hide it!

Flitter: I feel fine. Nobody feels more crushed than Rumby-Poo, though...-pouts-

Anon: ...Rumby-Poo? Where is he at?

Cloudchaser: -Beginning to apply a different blush, hoping for better results- In the locker room, crying into a pillow...

Anon: But...he only got hit with ONE clothesline...

Flitter: Rumby-Poo doesn't like getting hit, as you could probably tell. His gorgeous bones can only take so much punishment!

Cloudchaser: It's a travesty enough that brute Overdrive got him in the jaw. Poor Rumble's lucky he didn't get knocked in the face...you wouldn't see him until next week.

Anon: I see...how about you girls? You looked quite impressive in the battle royal.

Cloudchaser: -Smirks- We know...it's hard enough being impressive as far as looks go, but being impressive in the ring, too? Not many people can do that...

Flitter: Except for us and Rumby-Poo! And we do it better than ANYBODY!

Cloudchaser: Yeah, we do! -Highfives Flitter-

Flitter: Like Rumby said...we may have lost, but we'll get to see him as a champion VERY soon, and THAT'S what we're all focused on right now.

Ehem...

-Anon looks to his side, and sees Horsepower towering over him. He goes to stand in front of him-

Horsepower: -Looking through his clipboard- Sorry, buddy, but you're not on the list to talk to Flitter and Cloudchaser...

Anon: Would it be okay if I could just ask them a few more quest-

Cloudchaser: Just for future reference...-Cloudchaser and Flitter appear by Horsepower's sides- the list DOESN'T lie...

Flitter: -Giggles- So, unfortunately for you, this interview is OVER...

Anon: I-I understand...th-thank you, gals...-Anon walks away with his head hung low-

-Star Swirl the Bearded appears in front of Anon from behind a mist-

Star Swirl the Bearded: YOOOOOOOUUUUUU, young man! Do you know where Princess Luna's chamber of the castle is?

Anon: Uhhhhhh...what?

Star Swirl: -Grabs Anon, and begins shaking him by the collar- QUICK! There be it not much time! My sweet is about to become NIGHTMARE MOON, a blood-thirsty alter ego of herself that is out to KILL her sister, and plague the UNIVERSE AS WE KNOW IT...into FOREVER NIGHT! It is as serious as it sounds!

Anon: That isn't very serious...

Star Swirl: QUIIIIICCCCK! -Grabs Anon by his face- We mustn't make haste! -Runs off in the direction that PROBABLY doesn't lead to Princess Luna- FOR THE NORDS!

Age: 21
Allies: Spike, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Shining Armor, Cadance, Princess Celestia.
Enemies: The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie (though it's more competitive now than anything), Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls never happened in this universe, obviously, since they're ALREADY humans. Therefore, they still hate each other.)
Hometown: Born in Canterlot, currently residing in Loneyville.
Signature Moves: Spell Check, Friendship Report
Finisher: Take A Note
Theme Song: Faster Than You Know by BlackGryph0n & Bassik
Family: Spike (Not related in any way, but Twilight considers him a brother/son), Shining Armor (Brother), Cadance (Sister-in-law)
Background: Twilight Sparkle used to detest the phrase "friendship." That was, until her mentor, and the princess of Equestria, Princess Celestia, sent her to Loneyville, as she was tired of seeing her prized pupil's eyes stuck in books all day EVERY day. Twilight was hesitant, but knew that friendship would be her destiny when her, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash spoiled the surprise return of Nightmare Moon, thus, turning her back to Princess Luna, Celestia's long-lost sister.

Now, Twilight finds herself working for Luna herself. Most of her friends got drafted to Smackdown, but she still has the boy she took in when he was very young, Spike, her brother, Shining Armor, her nanny turned sister-in-law, Cadance, and Rarity. Together, she will make this brand-new experience from inside the squared circle a MAGICAL one.

She's not the best fighter, but she's GREAT at making her opponents look good. She's a self-told success story, and could very likely be the face of Lunacy. A hero that the entire audience can get behind.

Follow Twilight Sparkle, as she ventures onto a NEW journey...

Friendships will be made, but at the end of the day, none of that matters...

This business is about being the BEST. It's a competition...

And Twilight is out to make her mentor PROUD.

Age:20
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Spitfire, Soarin, Scootaloo
Rivals: Hoops, Dumb-Bell, Lightning Dust (No longer an intense rivalry, but not always wise to put them in the same room)
Hometown: Cloudsdale
Signature Moves: Rainbow Bash, Pain Rain
Finisher: Sonic Raindrop
Theme Song: Loyalty by AcousticBrony & MandoPony
Family: Little to no information available.
Character Traits: Loyal, Extremely-Confident, Aggressive, Hot-Tempered, Lazy.
Background: Growing up as an orphan in the heart of Cloudsdale taught Rainbow Dash to be independent, and more importantly how to fend for herself. She has spent most of her teenage years training herself to become as athletic as possible, rising to the top of many of her high school sports teams, and making some friends along the way. Always knowing she was meant for great things, this belief was proven true when her and her friends: Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle defeated the threat of Nightmare Moon and later tackled many other major threats.

Now Dash begins her career on Friday Night Sub-lime with several allies to back her up, not that she'll need them. She'll always help out the friend in need but refuses to lose sight of her goal, which is the very top of course. Anything less than number one would be like losing, and who likes losing?

Her athleticism makes her the perfect high-flying, high-impact fighter that nobody will see coming. Dash loves the cheers and spotlights of adoring fans almost as much as she loves to win.

Age: 26
Allies: Lightning Dust
Enemies: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia
Hometown: Canterlot
Signature Moves: Prospectdriver, Sweet Revenge
Finisher: The Last Sunset
Theme Song: Shimmer On by MandoPony
Family: No information available
Character Traits: Ruthless, Aggressive, Vengeful, Sadistic, Pained
Background: As a young girl, Sunset already had her life planned out. She wanted to be something SPECIAL. Not just ANY kind of special...Sunset wanted to be a PRINCESS. She was one step closer to this goal when Princess Celestia herself adopted her as her pupil. Sunset was ecstatic, and much like Twilight, did not care one bit about friendship. All she cared about was ruling Equestria at the base of her hands. She never got that opportunity, however, as she showed FAR too much enthusiasm towards the idea to Celestia's liking. She was too young, and not prepared for such a monumental task, but Sunset didn't care. She DEMANDED Celestia make her a princess. But being a princess...IS EARNED.

Sunset was discarded of, and a few years later, in came Twilight Sparkle. Sunset was FURIOUS about being replaced with a girl who wasn't HALF the princess Sunset could've been. Ever since then, she's stalked Twilight constantly, waiting for that ONE special moment, where she would exact SWEET, SWEEETT REVENGE.

It's not about being a Princess anymore...

It's personal.

As these two make their way to Lunacy TOGETHER, what will happen? How big will the explosion that comes with it be? Will either one of these talented women EVER be same...when the dust settles?

Age:22
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Inkie Pie, Blinkie Pie
Rivals: Trixie
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Party Cannon, Laughing Block
Finisher: Pinkie Sense
Theme Song: Do You Believe in Magic by The Lovin Spoonful
Family: Inkie Pie(Sister) Blinkie Pie(Sister)
Character Traits: Cheerful, Fun-loving, Excitable, Friendly, Crazy
Background: Pinkie Pie was born to a poor family in a low populated, rural area. Her early childhood was filled with nothing but work,sadness,and toil. It was Pinkie who broke the cycle of boredom and taught her family how to have fun. Eventually she moved on to the town of Loneyville where she met her best friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and later Twilight Sparkle. With these friends she would go on many fun adventures and tackle the toughest of enemies.

Now Pinkie has landed on Sublime with many friends and both of her sisters. She is determined to turn every night into a party and keep every battle a friendly one. No hard-feelings from Pinkie Pie, after all, it's all just a game right?

Age: 20
Allies: Sunset Shimmer
Enemies: Rainbow Dash, Spitfire
Hometown: Cloudsdale. (Though it's not really hinted at. Just my Headcanon.)
Signature Moves: Fulminology, Buccaneer Blaze
Finisher: Astraphobia
Theme: Danger Zone by Vanilla Ninja
Family: "Lightning" Larry Luciano (her pet snail.)
Character Traits: Egotistical, Chill, Opportunistic, Persuasive, Reckless
Background: Lightning Dust had always been a girl with her head stuck in the clouds. She had dreams FAR beyond her reach. Not to mention, she was too stubborn and reckless to ever accomplish these dreams.

Still, though, she's always been a SUPERB athlete. But someone was just, always better than her...that someone, was Rainbow Dash. They went to school together, from Kindergarten to 12th grade. They've basically known each other for over half of their lives.

Which, unfortunately, is a bad thing. In the beginning, the two similar girls found immediate friendship with each other. But you know how school goes...once you get past all the cookies and nap-time, things take a turn. People change, and in this case, Lightning Dust was the one to change.

Every sport she'd try out for, Rainbow Dash would try out for, too. It wasn't to upstage her, Rainbow just legitimately wanted to be a part of any team she could. Both would make it, of course, but Rainbow would ALWAYS be more impressive towards the coaches, Rainbow ALWAYS got the ball, Rainbow ALWAYS got more playing time.

RAINBOW, RAINBOW, RAINBOW, RAINBOW!

And thus...Lightning Dust was usually on the bench. Whenever she WAS on the field/court, however, Rainbow Dash would outshine her.

Lightning Dust became BITTER, and now, the once strong friendship...is over.

But now, Lightning Dust has the chance to start FRESH. Because this, THIS is professional wrestling. There's no bias here. Everybody gets a chance to SHINE. And Lightning Dust plans to shine brighter than EVERYBODY around here. Even better...Dash is on the OTHER show. Not that that matters to Lightning Dust, because the FIRST chance she gets, she's going to HUMILIATE Rainbow Dash...and silence all the critics.

No, lightning will NOT strike twice, because for Lightning Dust, it's NEVER struck...

...Until now.

Age:24
Allies: Snips, Snails
Rivals: Twilight Sparkle,Pinkie Pie,Applejack,Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity
Hometown: Manehatten
Signature Moves: Smoke and Mirrors, Spellbound
Finisher: Ursa Lock
Theme Song: Magic by Apollo Justice
Family:No information available
Character Traits: Arrogant, Deceitful, Vengeful, Overbearing, Braggart
Background:Fighting for a living was never part of Trixie's plan. Her passion had always been magic. She used whatever resources a teenager could to teach her self magic tricks all throughout her school years. After graduating she started her own magic show in her home town of Manehatten. It was so successful that she began to take her show from town to town, wowing audiences everywhere and making quite the wealth and reputation for herself.

Her show-biz dreams came crashing down when Twilight Sparkle decided to meddle in her affairs and revealed the deception behind all of Trixie's claims. This revelation would destroy her reputation and put an end to her traveling magic show.

Now the magician is on Sublime, far from Twilight, but not away from all nay-sayers. It'll take supreme talent to rise through the ranks and earn back the reputation she once had, but nothing stops the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Age: 13
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack
Enemies: Garble
Hometown: Born in Detroit, now residing in Loneyville
Signatures Moves: Doesn't wrestle.
Finisher: Again, doesn't wrestle.
Theme Song: Silence.
Family: Twilight Sparkle (Adoptive sister)
Character Traits: Sarcastic, Witty, Cool, Helpful, Klutz
Background: Spike is the youngest member of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation roster, but he will not be able to do ANY wrestling at his age. It's been outlawed by Filthy Rich himself. Spike will serve as the ring announcer for his BEST friend, and his sister, Twilight Sparkle.

Born in Detroit, Spike's family had always been a rough one. His parents were young, stupid, and just plain unprepared for the responsibility that came with taking care of a child. Spike had no other brothers or sisters. Just two VERY ignorant human beings as parents. Spike would be blown off for their usual party ways, leaving him to fend for himself. Every night, while his parents were away, Spike would walk the streets, looking for SOMETHING to do. He saw a LOT of things a child his age SHOULDN'T be seeing...but, he adjusted to the life of the cold and unforgiving streets of Detroit. He sold drugs, he BOUGHT drugs. He dumpster-dived for as much as a ham sandwich. He would use his newly acquired "street-smarts" to survive.

Then, one day, he was founded by Twilight, and her parents. They were on vacation, in DETROIT of all places...God KNOWS why...

Twilight and family couldn't stand to see this young child being left unattended to on the streets, and they were even MORE appalled when they were told of his background. Spike led them to his home, and without ANY persuasion, Spike's parents just...let him go. They even went to court, and INSISTED that Spike become a member of Twilight's family. They didn't want him anymore.

Spike didn't care. He had been on his own for so long, he didn't NEED a family. He had lasted this long by himself, what would a handful more decades of solitude hurt?

But, after a few weeks with Twilight, Spike's entire mindset changed. Because Twilight, too, was alone...just like him. And yet, he could sense the strong bond she was thrusting into him. And, for the first time in his life, Spike actually felt...wanted. He actually had a family who loved and cared for him.

Now, 5 years later, Spike is coming with Twilight to Lunacy. Spike has been a fighter ALL his life, no doubt, but he wont be able to fight here. Still, though, it doesn't matter to him. because he'll be with his big sister...

And Spike will do ANYTHING for her.

Age:30
Allies: Soarin, Rainbow Dash
Rivals: Lightning Dust
Hometown: Cloudsdale
Signature Moves: Broken Formation, Nose Dive
Finisher: Supermarine
Theme: Spirit of Fire by PsychGoth
Family: No information available.
Character Traits: Cool, Social, talented leader, Gracious, Authoritative
Background: Born to a middle class family in Cloudsdale, Spitfire was obsessed with planes and fighter jets from a very young age. By Junior High she could name almost any type of plane shown to her. She dropped out of high school to join the Air Force (Lying about her age in the process) and took training to become a fighter pilot. However, she did not become a combat pilot but rather a stunt pilot. Participating in air shows around the country with other talented pilots to amaze the masses. At age 25 she was leading her own squadron.

Although sometimes when one gets too good and too comfortable with their profession they become bored, this exact thing happened to Spitfire. So she and her best friend Soarin left the stunt business together and signed on to the E.W.F. Spitfire will benefit from an already large fan base and military training at her disposal.

It's time to bring the E.W.F to mach speed.

Age: 26
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, Princess Celestia
Enemies: None
Hometown: Canterlot
Signature Moves: Surfs Up, Hang Ten
Finisher: The Big Kahuna Theme Song: Into Yesterday by Sugar Ray

Family: Twilight Sparkle (Sister), Spike (Adoptive brother), Cadance (Real-life wife, storyline girlfriend)

Character Traits: Humble, Leader, Athletic, Dependable, BRO
Background: If you were to spend a day with Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle, you would realize that they were POLAR opposites. Growing up, sports were not Twilight's forte, but they were Shining Armor's. Studying was not Shining Armor's favorite thing to do, but it was Twilight's. But yet, these two could not be any stronger as siblings. Shining Armor may NOT have liked to study, but he is FAR from a lazy man.

An all-state Quarterback from Canterlot, Shining Armor was the first in the Sparkle family to actually get into sports. Neither his parents, his grandparents, or even his GREAT grandparents were into it. They were also writers, teachers, or doctors. None of that interested Shining Armor, even though he is QUITE intelligent. He wasn't an irresponsible meathead, going out on the town after every game, getting drunk and bedding a broad, but he DOES like to have his fair share of fun.

Instead of going to college for Football, however, Shining decided to take a new path in life...he signed up for the military, to aid Equestria in the War against the Mexicans. He went straight out of high school, and was gone for 7 years, and left when the war was finally over. He returned home to many happy faces, and to his high-school sweetheart, Cadance, for whom he had to leave hanging for 7 years. The night he came back, he popped the question.

Now, Shining Armor returns to sports, but not football. It's a WHOLE different ballgame, because Shining Armor joins the ranks of the professional wrestling world. Coincidentally, with his sister, his brother, and his blushing new-bride.

AT EASE!

Fun facts: Shining Armor enjoys surfing and eating corndogs.

Age: 18
Allies: Silver Spoon, Turf
Enemies: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Discord
Hometown: Loneyville (Unfortunately for her.)
Signature Moves: Perfection, Flawless
Finisher: The Diamond Cutter
Family: Filthy Rich, Screwball
Character Traits: Snobby, Prissy, Conceited, Bitchy, Manipulative (AND MANY OTHER SYNONYMS FOR THE FIRST 4)
Theme Song: Better Than You by MandoPony
Background: Background: Coal is what is squeezed into the next Diamond.

As far as Diamond Tiara is concerned, she was born into the world as the brightest diamond ever crafted. She is ABOVE coal. Being the father of Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara has been handed everything she's ever been given. Filthy Rich is a nice guy, and he WASN'T raised like that. He WORKED for his success...even so, this is his ONLY child, and he feels the need to cater to her every will. Not to mention the fact that at age 5, Filthy Rich and his wife, Glamour Tiara had a falling out, and ended their marriage. Diamond was so young, and so...CRUSHED. Her mother mocked her in conversations with her father, claiming she was "a mistake" and would "never live up to her name." This made Diamond Tiara HATE her mother, and brought Filthy Rich to a cursing mess.

Soon, however, Diamond figured that her mother was trying to HELP her...by making her a girl that took what she want by any means necessary. So, Diamond started bullying other girls at school. She became cruel and heartless...just like her mother. Even though Diamond Tiara HATED it, she only longed for her mother's approval...

She never got it.

At age 10, Discord returned, and turned Glamour Tiara into Screwball. Her eyes swirled, and she spoke and ACTED like a buffoon. Diamond Tiara now hated DISCORD, and now had a LEGITIMATE reason to act with malice towards everyone around her.

Filthy Rich could not feel WORSE for his daughter. And so, he sheltered her with anything she desired even MORE now. Filthy knew he should teach his daughter how to WORK, and prepare her to run the family business in the future, but Diamond, in classic fashion, would throw a tantrum until Filthy never brought it up again. She then met her newest "girlfriend", Turf, and she, along with Diamond and long-time friend Silver Spoon, terrorized the children from Ponyville Elementary, to the end of Ponyville High. Anytime Filthy would try to punish Diamond, she would just play cute, and claim that her father was turning into her mother. Filthy knew that was a blatant lie, and more-so that Diamond HERSELF was now HER MOTHER. He just couldn't bring himself to take action, though.

Now, Diamond Tiara is FRESH out of High School, and Filthy Rich has put his foot down.

Diamond WILL get a job, and she WILL pay her dues to society...by entertaining them.

She will be a wrestler, as a part of Filthy's NEWEST experiment...The Equestrian Wrestling Federation.

Diamond Tiara WILL not get special treatment, and Filthy Rich WILL not hand her anything else.

If Diamond wants to buy something, she'll by it with the money she earns...by WINNING.

For the first time in her life, it is actually ENCOURAGED that Diamond Tiara TAKES what she wants...

As long as she plays by the rules.

Diamond Tiara DESPISES this idea.

Filthy Rich doesn't care.

-Sublime's theme begins to play as a mixture of blue and green fireworks begin shooting off on stage, ending with a final explosion of pyrotechnics. The crowd goes wild at the spectacle-
-Dr. Whooves and commentary partner Discord prepare for the start. Dr. Whooves adjusts his tie and combs his hair, Discord props up his feet and takes a sip of chocolate milk-
Dr. Whooves: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the greatest spectacle Friday night has ever seen, EWF's Sublime!
Discord: That sounded so rehearsed.
Dr. Whooves: I'd like to see you do better.
Discord: Can't be bothered.
Dr. Whooves: Well you better be! These fans need good commentators calling the action! It's what we're here for after all.
Discord: Really? I came for the free refreshments.
Celestia over headphones: Discord, remember our agreement. You need to actually work.
Discord: Pfftt...this IS working.
Dr. Whooves: I can tell it's going to take a lot of coffee to work with you.
Discord: I thought your kind preferred tea.
Dr. Whooves: Bloody stereotypes...
-Celestia's theme plays over the speakers-
Discord: Quiet down fool, the General Manager is going to grace us with her presence.
Dr. Whooves: Didn't take you for the brown nosing type.
Discord: Celestia and I go way back.
-Celestia makes her way down to the ring-
Celestia: Attention fans, let's give a shout for the debut of Sublime!
-Cheers-
Celestia: Tonight is the first and thus most important night for this show. It's the night where all our competitors must prove their skill and earn the respect, or hatred, of the fans. The first order of business is to decide who will earn the most important right, the right to the World Fighter's Championship! The fate of such an important title can not be decided with merely one match, thus all contenders will battle each other in a tournament that will take place over the next four weeks, the final two competitors remaining in the tournament will fight at Proving Grounds for the title who fail the tournament should not despair however,as the ten best of them will fight each other in a battle royal to earn the International championship. Also, tonight's main event will feature a battle for the Sublime tag team championships. The tournament will begin tonight, good luck to all participating!
-Celestia leaves while the crowd cheers on-
Dr. Whooves: A tournament, how exhilarating, but that's not the only thing we have for our fans tonight. The battle to decide who will represent Sublime in the battle for the Combos of Carnage tag team championship will take place as well.
-Trixie's theme plays, her entrance is accompanied by a mesmerizing display of fireworks, she approaches the ring with a personalized microphone-
Trixie: What is this? Where are the cheers for the GREAT and POWERFUL TRRRRRIXIE!? Are you saying you haven't heard of Trixie? Well that soon change once Trixie dominates this tournament and goes on to win Sublime's top title! It does not even matter who Trixie faces, for she is a higher caliber than them all. None other on Sublime possess the talent, skill, and cunning that Trixie possesses! Trixie is determined to be the eternal face of Friday nights, and wil-
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*
Discord: Who would interrupt such an entertaining speech?
Dr. Whooves: My heroine...
Trixie: Rainbow Dash! How dare you interrupt Trixie's monologue!?
-Rainbow Dash casually makes her way down towards the ring-
Rainbow Dash: Seriously Trixie? Do you really think anyone here wants to listen to you brag all night long?
*Crowd cheers in agreement*
Rainbow Dash: You're all bark and no bite. I mean really, did anyone else come out here to talk about how "great" they are? No, only you did.
Trixie: No other wrestler has the courage to face their audience. Besides, it's not as if they care about your blathering either.
Rainbow Dash: *Shrugs* At least I can back up my words with action, something I don't think you can do.
-Trixie slaps Rainbow Dash, crowd boos-
Discord: That's more like it!
Trixie: Action enough for you Rainbow Crash?
-Rainbow Dash hits Trixie with a flurry of punches and the two begin brawling-
Dr. Whooves: Well that didn't take long to escalate.
-Rainbow Dash gets Trixie on the ground and gets ready to perform the Sonic Raindrop, but Trixie rolls away at the last second, before Rainbow Dash can get up Trixie hits her with the microphone-
Trixie: That was a nice try Rainbow Dash, but your efforts will not be enough to rain on Trixie's parade. When the time comes for us to face each other in a real match, you'll regret making an enemy of Trixie.
-Trixie takes her mic and exits the ring, leaving a slowly recovering Dash holding her head in pain-
*Commercial*
Dr. Whooves: Welcome back to Friday Night Sublime where it's time for our first tournament match!
Discord: So rehearsed.
Dr. Whooves: Shut it.
*REDACTED THEME*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!
*REDACTED THEME*
-A group of armored men and women enter the stage, another in fancy, out-dated looking clothing enters with a microphone-
Squire: All shall now make way for the all powerful and respectable Commander Hurricane, rightful ruler of this federation and the lands beyond.
Match 1: Tournament Match, Nurse Redheart vs. Commander Hurricane
-Commander Hurricane approaches the stage dressed in full metal body armor, the ref orders her to remove it-
Commander Hurricane: What?! How dare you give me an order!? I outrank you by far "referee".
Referee: The metal comes off or you'll be disqualified.
Commander Hurricane: Fine, this opponent doesn't look like she'll present much of a threat anyways...
-Commander Hurricane removes her armor and piles it just outside the ring, leaving just her wrestling attire on-
Discord: *Whistles* If only all women were so eager to strip down.
Dr. Whooves: Well aren't you a pervert.
Discord: You're thinking the same thing, don't embarrass us both by lying about it.
Dr. Whooves: Good heavens man, I'm married!
Discord: AND?
-After 5 minutes Commander Hurricane is clearly dominating, hitting increasingly more brutal moves on Nurse Redheart-
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane is just being merciless...
-Nurse Redheart manages a few lucky counters and hits Commander Hurricane with a "Check Up!" and pins, but Commander Hurricane kicks out at 2-
Dr. Whooves: So close, but it does seem things are in Redheart's favor now.
-One of Commander Hurricane's guards attempts to enter the ring, but is stopped by the referee, the two begin to argue, while the referee is distracted Commander Hurricane slips out of the ring and grabs her metal helmet, she then re-enters the ring and hits Nurse Redheart with it repeatedly, throwing it out of the ring and pinning her just as the ref turns back around-
*1...2...3!*
Dr. Whooves: How cheap!
Discord: Looked fair to me.
Squire: The winner of this battle, our great leader, Commander Hurricane!
-Commander Hurricane and her company leave the ring while being booed the whole while-
*Backstage*
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are engaged in a game of poker when Hoity Toity and Blueblood approach, scoffing at them-
Braeburn: Ya'll got a problem pardners?
Hoity Toity: Oh no, not at all. It's always interesting to observe the lower class engaged in low class activities.
Happy Trails: Lower class? You puffed up little..
Blueblood: Oh my what a temper. He didn't mean anything by it. We understand the need for those such as yourselves. You exist to give great men such as us something to stand on.
Hoity Toity: I admit though, I would of thought you two would of been preparing for our match later, but I don't blame you for not trying. You don't stand a chance being so out-classed as you are.
Braeburn: We'll see who's out-classed soon enough. And ya'll will be in for a rude awakening when we kick your asses from here back to the big city ya came from. Now if ya don't mind, we have a game to finish.
-Hoity Toity and Blueblood continuing walking, laughing about "ignorant cowboys"-
*Commercial*
Dr. Whooves: We're back, and just in time. As the match to determine Sublime's representatives in the Carnage of Combo's tag team championship is about to begin.
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 398 pounds, Canterlot Class!
-Hoity Toity approaches the ring in his wrestling attire, which has his name engraved in gold lettering, each of his fingers also has a ring with some type of precious metal attached. Blueblood is dressed like a king, with an over-sized red robe and even a scepter-
Dr. Whooves: These two are rolling in cash and they aren't afraid to show it off.
Discord: What good is money if you can't brag about it?
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined 409 pounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!
*Braeburn walks down the ramp happily shaking hands with fans, while Happy Trails constantly breaks out in some funny looking country dance moves*
Match 2: Combos of Carnage Qualifying match, Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails
-11 Minutes into the match-
-Hoity Toity "accidentally" takes out the referee-
Dr. Whooves: Dear lord, here we go...
-Blueblood knocks Happy Trails off the ropes and exits the ring, he then picks him up and starts smashing Happy Trail's face against the ring post repeatedly, causing him to bleed-
Blueblood:*Releasing Happy Trails* Ugh, you got your DISGUSTING blood all over my royal hands!
-Happy Trails manages to elbow Blueblood in the gut and then throws him into the steel steps-
-Meanwhile in the ring Braeburn hits High Noon on Hoity Toity, the ref comes back to his senses and Braeburn goes for the pin-
*1...2...3!*
-The crowd cheers-
Announcer: And the winners of the match, the tag team who will be competing against EGO for the Combos of Carnage title at Proving Grounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!
Discord: Oh boo, I thought Canterlot Class was going to win that one.
Dr. Whooves: Thank God they didn't, I don't think we would be able to stand the combined puffed up arrogance of EGO and Canterlot Class.
*Now trending on Twitter: #GreatandPowerfulTrixie #RainbowDash #Cowboys #DrWhoovesisBritish
Dr. Whooves: I wonder if they figured that out all on their own..
-Happy Trails pulls a guitar from under the ring and begins to play music-
: Adding insult to injury with the celebration music.
-Canterlot Class retreats from the ring looking disgraced-
Discord: Oh goody, up next we have a family face off! A tournament match featuring Apple Bloom versus Babs Seed. You gotta love watching relatives beat each other up.
Dr. Whooves: Is there any humanity any you?
Discord: Not really.
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring,standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!
-Babs Seed walks down the ramp, glaring at the audience from time to time-
Discord: She sure seems friendly enough.
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, standing at five foot, seven inches tall, weighing in at 136 pounds, Apple Bloom!
-Apple Bloom heads to the ring smiling and waving the entire while-
Match 3: Tournament Match, Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom
-9 minutes later-
-Babs Seed tries to throw Apple Bloom over the top rope but Apple Bloom counters and pulls her into a *REDACTED move*-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: The winner of the match, Apple Bloom!
-Apple Bloom offers Babs Seed a hand shake, Babs Seed moves to take it but instead pulls Apple Bloom into a finisher-
-The crowd boos loudly as Babs Seed starts kicking and stomping on the downed Apple Bloom-
*REDACTED Theme*
Dr. Whooves: It's Apple Bloom's tag team partner Sweetie Belle! Looks like it's time to clean house.
-Babs Seed quickly retreats as Sweetie Belle enters the ring, leaving her to check on Apple Bloom-
Dr. Whooves: Two on one, I think Babs Seed is biting off more than she can chew by making them her enemies.
Discord: She's a sneaky one, she'll figure something out.
*Commercial*
-Backstage-
Interviewer: Rainbow Dash, would you care to comment on what happened on the show earlier?
Rainbow Dash: Trixie got lucky is all, I almost had her. Next time will be different, I'll make sure of it.
Interviewer: Do you think you'll get to face Trixie later in the tournament?
Rainbow Dash: Well I know that I will be there, but I don't know if Trixie will. She talks way better than she can actually fight, I wouldn't be surprised if someone else eliminates her from the tournament before I can get to her.
Interviewer: I'm also aware that many of your close friends will also be in this tournament, how will you feel about having to fight some of them?
Rainbow Dash: It's not a big deal, it'll just be like a friendly spar is all. No hard feelings.
Interviewer: Thank you for your time.
-Rainbow Dash exits while Trixie enters-
Trixie: What is this? Why was the VOCAL and OPINIONATED Trixie not offered an interview?
Interviewer: Well...I...uhh...
Trixie: Are you saying that Trixie is not worthy of an interview?
Interviewer: Not at all miss...I...
Trixie: Trixie is offended by this insult! Trixie will have to take this up with the general manager and will be sure to tell her your name and that you denied her the interview Trixie deserved!
-Trixie leaves in a huff-
Interviewer: Uhhhhhhh...
-Camera switches back to the arena-
*Do you believe in magic?*
Announcer: Entering the ring, weighing in at 150 pounds, and standing at five foot, eight inches tall, from the town of Loneyville. Pinkie Pie!
-As Pinkie Pie enters the arena balloons fall from the ceiling and confetti shoots off from the stage, she bounces and skips the whole way down to the ring, lots of cheering-
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, accompanied to the ring by Aloe, weighing in at 130 pounds and standing five foot, six inches tall, from Loneyville, Lotus Blossom!
-Aloe and Lotus walk down to the ring with poise, blowing kisses to the audience as they go by, the crowd cheers-
Dr. Whooves: Looks like we have two crowd favorites facing off for this one.
Discord: No villains?! How boring.
-Lotus enters the ring, the bell rings-
Match 4: Tournament Match, Pinkie Pie vs. Lotus Blossom
-Lotus manages to get the first hit on Pinkie Pie but breaks a nail, she immediately stops her attack and gasps-
Lotus: My beautiful nails! Ruined! It'll take so long to fix this manicure!
*PINKIE SENSE!*
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: And the winner of the match, Pinkie Pie!
Discord: *Laughing* That was better than I thought it would be! Five star match for sure.
Pinkie Pie: Sorry for taking advantage like that! But someone had to win right? No hard feelings! -Pinkie Pie helps Lotus up and the two shake hands-
Dr. Whooves: What sportsmanship. Good show!
*On screen appears camera footage of Daring Do, in some exotic area*
Daring Do: Hello Sublime, this is Daring Do speaking to you from the Amazon jungle. I'm afraid my latest adventure is taking me longer than I thought, so I might not be able to make my appearance on show as soon as I should have, but don't worry...I'll find my way out of here eventually. -A snake comes up behind Daring Do and tries to attack her, she slices it with a machete- It's excellent physical training, fighting off all these creatures is sure to improve my strength and stamina. Anyways, the mosquitoes will be out soon so I should get back to my base camp. Oh, tell Ahuiztol I said hello, and he better not show his mug on Sublime or they'll be trouble for him when I get back!
*Commercial*
-Trixie's theme plays, followed by the extreme firework show seen earlier-
Trixie: And approaching the ring, from Manhattan, standing at an intimidating five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a perfect 148 pounds, the GRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAT AND POWERRRRRRRRRRFUL...TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIXIEEEEE!
Discord: That woman sure does know how an entrance is made.
*She felt the wind and longed to follow*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, accompanied by Soarin, standing six foot tall and weighing 159 pounds, from Cloudsdale, Spitfire!
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Spitfire
-18 minutes later-
-Trixie gets Spitfire trapped in the corner and starts raining down punches, Spitfire catches one and shoves Trixie away, she then climbs up on the turnbuckle and hits Trixie with a dive, then going for a pin-
*1...2...- *KICK-OUT*
-Spitfire picks Trixie up to perform another move, but Trixie counters and takes Spitfire to the ground, putting her in a Ursa Lock-
: Oh lord, that looks painful. I wonder how long Spitfire can take that, and poor Soarin is helpless.
Discord: I think he's just been enjoying the show the whole time.
Dr. Whooves: Wha?
Discord: Who wouldn't enjoy seeing their girlfriend get hot and sweaty? Oh, I forgot that you Brits are prudes.
Dr. Whooves: Why I never.
-After 2 minutes in the Ursa Lock Spitfire is forced to tap out-
-Trixie stands and grabs her personal mic-
Trixie: And the winner of the match, advancing to the next stage of the tournament, the GRRRRRRRRREAT AND POWERRRRRRRRRFUL TRRRRRRRIXIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
-Trixie starts walking up the ramp with Soarin staring at her, Spitfire who has recovered somewhat walks over and punches him in the shoulder-
Soarin: OW! What was that for?
Spitfire: I saw you staring at her.
Soarin: Well uhh yeah...she has nice...uhh...attire.
Spitfire: RIGHT, that's what you were staring at.
Soarin: I swear it was.
Spitfire: Whatever...let's get out of here.
*Commercial*
Dr. Whooves: And we are back for the main event of Friday Night Sublime, where the Sublime Tag Team Champions will be decided. We have two promising teams facing off. The alliance of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch versus Beauty Shot, the tag team of Photo Finish and Pretty Vision. Let's see how it plays out.
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer:The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Sublime Tag team Championship! Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Beauty Shot!
-Photo Finish walks elegantly down the ramp, striking many poses along the way, while Pretty Vision follows with a camera taking snapshots, the crowd cheers after every pose-
*A dub-step remix of some classical music piece plays, multi-colored,flashing lights shine all around the arena*
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!
-Vinyl Scratch dances down the ramp, pulling off all kinds of modern,hip moves while Octavia maintains a solid composure-
Dr. Whooves: This is certainly a unique team, with many differences between the two.
Discord: I'm just liking the music. Dub-step has such a chaotic feel wouldn't you agree?
Dr. Whooves: All I hear is noise.
Main Event: Sublime Tag Team Championship. Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch
-22 minutes later-
-Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are on the verge of victory, Vinyl Scratch hits *REDACTED* on Pretty Vision-
-Photo Finish hits *REDACTED* on the referee from behind and jumps down from the ring, meanwhile Pretty Vision rolls out from under the bottom rope-
-Photo Finish pulls two chairs out from the bottom of the ring and hands one to Pretty Vision, when Octavia and Vinyl Scratch exit the ring to pursue them the two ambush them with chairs-
Pretty Vision: Isn't this cheating?
Photo Finish: Fool! We are not cheating! That is beneath us. We are merely being opportunistic!
Pretty Vision: Ohhhh...I get it! *Continues attacking with chair*
*Photo Finish rolls Vinyl Scratch into the ring*
Photo Finish: What are you waiting for?! Wake up the ref and pin her!
*Pretty Vision manages to wake the ref up and pins Vinyl Scratch*
*1...2...3!*
-Crowd boos loudly-
Announcer: Here are you winners, and the new Sublime Tag Team Champions...Beauty Shot!
Dr. Whooves: Terrible, bloody terrible!
Discord: Marvelous, absolutely marvelous.
Dr. Whooves: We'll just have to hope these two get what they deserve next week. We'll see you then ladies and gentlemen!
-The show ends with Photo Finish and Pretty Vision showing off their new titles-
Match Results-
Match 1: Commander Hurricane vs. Nurse Redheart Commander Hurricane won
Match 2: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails Braeburn and Happy Trails won
Match 3: Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom Apple Bloom won
Match 4: Pinkie Pie vs. Lotus Blossom Pinkie Pie won
Match 5: Trixie vs. Spitfire Trixie won
Match 6: Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch Beauty Shot won
Tournament Status:
-Nurse Redheart,Babs Seed,Lotus Blossom, and Spitfire eliminated.
-Commander Hurricane,Apple Bloom,Pinkie Pie, and Trixie will advance to round 2.
-Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Cheerilee, Aloe, Sweet Tooth, Inkie Pie, and Blinkie Pie yet to compete

1. Lightning Dust Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
2. Trixie Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
3. Scootaloo Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
4. Pinkie Pie Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
5. Photo Finish Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
6. Pretty Vision Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
7. Fancy Pants Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
8. Gustave La Grand Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
9. Braeburn Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
10. Happy Trails Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
11. Sunset Shimmer Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
12. Commander Hurricane Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
13. Overdrive Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
14. Apple Bloom Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
15. Twist Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
16. Diamond Tiara Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
17. Babs Seed Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
18. Turf Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
19. Spitfire Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
20. Shining Armor Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
21. Flash Sentry Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
22. Midnight Strike Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
23. Hoity Toity Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
24. Prince Blueblood Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
25. Silver Spoon Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
26. Cadance Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
27. Octavia Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
28. Vinyl Scratch Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
29. Horsepower Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
30. Lotus Blossom Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A

Women's Eternal World Champion:

Champion: Lightning Dust
1. Scootaloo
2. Twilight Sparkle
3. Sunset Shimmer
4. Rarity
5. Midnight Strike
6. Diamond Tiara
7. Turf
8. Honeycomb
9. Cadance
10. Twist

World Fighters Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Trixie
2. Pinkie Pie
3. Commander Hurricane
4. Rainbow Dash
5. Apple Bloom
6. Photo Finish
7. Pretty Vision
8. Applejack
9. Babs Seed
10. Aloe

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Overdrive
2. Fancy Pants
3. Gustave Le Grand
4. Shining Armor
5. Snips
6. Snails
7. Rumble
8. Hugh Jelly
9. Flash Sentry
10. Star Swirl the Bearded

World Brawlers Champion:

1. Braeburn
2. Happy Trails
3. Hoity Toity
4. Prince Blueblood
5. Soarin
6. Big MacIntosh
7. Caramel
8. Doughnut Joe
9. Thunderlane
10. Uncle Wing

Crater Chick Champion:
Champion: To Be Decided
1. Midnight Strike
2. Honeycomb
3. Twist
4. Turf
5. Silver Spoon
6. Lyra
7. Bon Bon
8. Fleur De Lis
9. Cloudchaser
10. Flitter

International Champion:
Champion: To Be Decided
1. Spitfire
2. Lotus Blossom
3. Nurse Redheart
4. Daring Do
5. Sweetie Belle
6. Babs Seed
7. Photo Finish
8. Pretty Vision
9. Inkie Pie
10. Blinkie Pie

Chick Combo Champions:
Champions: To Be Decided
1. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust
2. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity
3. Diamond Tiara & Turf
4. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon
5. Turf and Silver Spoon
6. Lyra and Bon Bon
7. Flitter and Cloudchaser
8. Cadance and Twilight Sparkle

Sublime Tag Team Champions:
Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)
1. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch
2. Aloe and Lotus Blossom
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie)
4. Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle
5. Red Delicious & Golden Delicious
6. Applejack & Apple Bloom
7. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom
8. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom
9. Red Delicious & Applejack
10. Golden Delicious & Applejack

Combos of Carnage Tag Team Champions:
Champions: To Be Decided
1. EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants)
2. Braeburn & Happy Trails
3. Snips & Snails
4. BroMans (Shining Armor & Flash Sentry)
5. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood)
6. Hoops & Dumb-Bell
7. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate)
8. Horsepower & Rumble
9. Hugh Jelly & Clip Clop
10. Dance Fever & Bill Neigh

Wrestling fans are natural born complainers. Sometimes their complaints are justified, but other times, they're just plain ignorant. Wrestling hasn't been around for a long time in Equestria, but even back in the day, people were talking about how boring Kluh Nagoh was and how he needed to drop the title to Treb Tarh and retire.

Now that wrestling is back, a whole new generation of complainers have begun to fluctuate.

We have assigned our officials to stalk any and all forum threads, in order to bring you these "smarks'" silliest conversations about pro wrestling.

On Lunacy:

ninjawarriorofawesome69: So...is Twilight Sparkle a heel or what? Her promo gave off the sense that she was full of herself i don't get her gimmick.

blumakunama (in reply): pretty sure she's a face i think she's supposed to be like a new school kluh nagoh and right all the wrongs of the heels like sunset shimmr and lightning dust

ninjawarriorofawesome69 (in reply): Ah...makes sense. I HOPE she's a heel though. What a great gimmick that'd be. She's like this troll heel that acts like a face? Not sure how to describe it...

buttsecks (in reply): Twahlet Spahckle's gimmick: Harsh German.

lloydburger (in reply): Thats...HARSH *puts on sunglasses* YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

buttsecks (in reply): NO.

lloydburger (in reply): M. Bison: YES! YEEEEEESSSS!

lickthebook: Who else here thinks Rumble is AWESOME? (+173 people liked this post.)

neatone2222 (in reply): I found his constant use of the word "gorgeous" to be a tad bit annoying. What kind of man calls himself "gorgeous"?

bunsenburnah (in reply): THE RUMBLE KIND.

theDALEKtravels (in reply to lickthebook): He's got a pretty cool gimmick. Can see him being one of those annoying model-type heels that the crowd just begins to cheer. (+45 liked this post.)

POOTIS (in reply to lickthebook): BEST GIMMICK EVER. The guy just stands there to SNAP SELFIES. He's got a roided up bodyguard and two hot chicks with him. The hell is wrong with that image? NOTHING. (+12 liked this post.)

lickthebook (in reply to POOTIS): Very true...Flitter and Cloudchaser are my favorite ship now. I can also see Rumble being shipped with himself. Hope he wins the title at Proving Ground. (+41 liked this post.)

James Loney: In my opinion, Overdrive's match with that bouncer guy was boring as HELL. Overdrive needs to train some more, and work on his mic skills. I don't think he should be in the inaugural storyline for the main male's title, but that's just me. (+28 liked this post.)

blarneystone (in reply to James Loney): Totally agree. Surprised the crowd didn't crap on the match. Horsepower was also very stiff, but I think he overall did better than Overdrive. The hell is up with his wrestling attire? He supposed to be some kind of cyborg?

Cyborg from Teen Titans (in reply to James Loney): There's only ONE Cyborg, baby! BOOYA! (INFINITE liked this post.)

blarneystone (in reply to Cyborg from Teen Titans): ...Nice.

MandoPony: Scootaloo is my favorite superstar right now. Love her attitude, and she put on a great match with Diamond Tiara and an even greater performance in the battle royal. I KNOW she'll get over HUGE with the fans.

4chan (in reply to MandoPony): i want to lick scootaloo's virgin clit

Babyalligator: Diamond Tiara rocked it. What a fucking bitch she was. One of the most promising talents in the company...can't wait to see how her feud with Scootaloo plays out. (+17 liked this post.)

boobaby (in reply): dt is a bitch.

Jon Moxley (in reply to boobaby): And a great one, at that. I want to smash her face in, and that's a good thing. She plays her role perfectly.

xxxlover (in reply to Jon Moxley): I feel that Turf isn't getting enough love. She's as an overbearing cunt as Diamond Tiara is!

glamourgirl (in reply to xxxlover): And her hair is super cute, too!

Turfno1fan (in reply to xxxlover): FUCK YA TURF'S THE BEST.

The Awkward Reviewer: Overall, highly impressive and entertaining first show. Mr. Filthy Rich is one of the greatest moguls in Equestria, and he proved he's not a GREEDY one by bringing back a sport that a lot of people have missed for DECADES into the limelight. Many feuds were established, and I'm looking forward to all of them. My favorite is the Cadance and Sunset Shimmer feud. To me, the more personal a storyline is, the better, and THIS storyline has gotten PRETTY personal so far. There's a lot of fun characters: Rumble is just hilarious to me, and a pretty good HEEL underdog. That's right, a HEEL underdog. THAT'S a rare thing, and it's pulled off pretty well by him. The trio of the "Mean Girls", as I call them, are the PERFECT bitchy stereotypes. I personally LOVE stereotypes in wrestling, and Scootaloo is the PERFECT girl for them to go after. She's smaller, and apparently they've been doing this with her for YEARS. The Oddities are, well...odd, in a good way. Midnight Strike is the odd one out, no pun intended, in that group, and I just find that hilarious. I can only hope Lightning Dust is the chicken-shit heel champion that nearly EVER heel champion was back in the day. I hope she faces her problems, not RUNS from them. If creative can give her a meaningful reign, than the Women's Enternal championship already highly prestigious. Can't wait for the for next show. Keep up the good work (+482 liked this post.)

notatroll (in reply): lol too much text didn't read.

Sethisto: Needs more Trixie.

On Sublime:

fred2266: COMMANDER HURRICANE...that is all. (+728 liked this post.)

notatroll (in reply): YES. All hail the great Goddess of troll gimmicks!

lucky17 (in reply to notatroll): How does Commander Hurricane have a "troll gimmick"?

notatroll: lol didn't watch the show? She comes out with bad-ass guards and bad-ass ring gear (YOU SEE THAT CHROME FAUX-HAWK OF HERS?) She rapes Nurse Rapeheart the entirety of the match, Rapeheart goes to rape her with a few elbows, chrome-hawk HITS HER WITH ARMOR EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS CLEARLY IN CONTROL DESPITE A FEW RAPE ELBOWS AND CHEATS TO WIN, proving she is not a bad-ass, but a bad-ass troll, the best kind of troll.

Troll gimmick. (+237 like this post.)

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): I can tell who my favorite user on this board is going to be...

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): yeah construct monuments fagg0t.

WHATATWIST: That Daring Do tease took the life out of me...I wanted to see my favorite book character in the ring! ;( oh well...I still enjoyed it. Maybe next week?

klunkybutt (in reply): if that bitch doesn't wrestler next week, ill quit waching this shitty company it sucks (comment removed due to multiple dislikes.)

straightouttacompton: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

1,472 other viewers (in reply): WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

straightouttacompton( in reply): What have I started, yo...0_o

arevolution (in reply): #DaringRevolution (+2,382 liked this post.)

mackncheeze (in reply to arevolution): We're gonna make this a thing, right?

konyy2k (in reply to mackncheeze): Sure are. We want Daring Do next week on Sublime! We must make sure they know of our desires! I'm going to Lunacy, my first EWF show this monday...look out for the big "#DaringRevolution" sing. I'll start chanting. Everybody chant with me! Whether you're at the show or at home, help us get our voices out there! (+1,649 like this post.)

bob: That tag team title match was pretty good. Pretty Vision is a lovable ditz!

Job-Guy: Rainbow Dash seems like a pretty cool gal. Wonder if she can go in the ring?

galpal (in reply): no but she can go in my bed.

notatroll (in reply to galpal): i call gimmick infringement.

4chan: I want to cum inside Commander Hurricane. (+9,289 like this post.)

MandoPony: Don't we all? Wink

Anonymous: WRESTLING IS GAY.

notatroll (in reply): there's the troll you were looking for, folks. (+231 like this post.)

The Awkward Reviewer: The first episode of Sublime, while I did not enjoy it as much as Lunacy, was still a great first showing. I do enjoy Sublime's handling of titles more thus far. A tournament for the world title is a great idea. I hope Rainbow Dash wins the title. Even though I haven't seen her in action yet, I just feel a strong liking towards her. Trixie is a great heel and opponent for her. The tag title match didn't really do much for me. Pretty Vision must be pretty stupid, because "taking advantage" and "cheating" are, in some cases, the same thing. This, was one of those cases. The match was good, but I just haven't been given a reason to care about either team. I, like many others, enjoy the HELL out of the Daring Do character, and it's cool to see it brought to life. I didn't mind her having a promo. After all, you HAVE to build the character up. I do look forward to seeing the fans speak their minds, though. Should be fun to hear the "We Want Daring" chants. I'll chant along, not to see Daring Do in a match, but to see her PERIOD. Commander Hurricane is a funny character, though I find myself more interested in Squire...is HE ever going to have a match? Would be interesting. Just like Lunacy, Sublime has a lot of interesting characters, and we haven't even seen HALF of EITHER rosters characters yet! I particularly like the time of Braeburn and Happy Trails, and I'd like to see them win the tag titles at Proving Grounds. Once again, great show, though so far, I believe Lunacy has more going for it. (+289 like this post.)

swagmastah: Everybody's gay for Braeburn. (+nobody like this post.)

Sethisto: Hmmm...fair amount of Trixie...BUT NOT ENOUGH.

The beautiful people...OOOOHHHHHHHHH...

-Pyro goes off as the Lunacy intro which I'm too lazy to make ends, as well as the theme song. It is another sold out crowd at the Lunacy asylum. The fans that were reeled in last week are looking forward to seeing how this episode will play out-

-In the ring are golden and green balloons tied to the ring-rope, a pinata that looks an awful lot like Lightning Dust, a giant cake that is adorned by her loving face, and a giant banner above the ring that says "Congratulations, Lightning Dust!" in green and gold letters.

Garble: Holy crap...has it been a week already?

Ahuizotl: Unfortunately! Try to be less of a jerk this week, alright, boy?

Garble: Haha! I can't help it if you can't handle my extra-special style of commentary!

Ahuizotl: No I can't! But you don't have to act like such a hormone-filled TEENAGER!

Garble: Speaking of hormones...when was the last time YOU got some? Can't imagine a chick would be too thrilled to lay down with you...

Ahuizotl: BE QUIET!

Garble: She probably has to take it from the back...

Ahuizotl: I ASSURE YOU that YOUR MOTHER can't keep her eyes OFF OF MINE! -his chest heaves-

Garble: Now that was just uncalled for... -frowns-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! You INSULT my primal instincts, yet cannot admit when you've been bested?!

Garble: I'm a TEENAGER...all we do is spew mindless insults...YOU'RE all grown up...I'm disappointed in the way you handled this menial desire for some small-talk.

Ahuizotl: ...I-I...that icing on that cake in the ring? Ah, SCREW IT!

-Garble smirks inside-

Welcome to the Danger Zo-ooonne! -Mixture of half cheers and boos-

Ahuizotl: And as you may have noticed, it is time for the championship celebration, of the first EVER Women's Eternal World Champion...Lightning Dust.

Garble: Have some more enthusiasm, jeez! It's the GRAND DEBUT of OUR champion! Lightning Dust! This is such a special moment in the short history of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...she overcame all odds, she defied expectations, she surprised us all-

Ahuizotl: She cheated.

Garble: There were NO RULES.

Ahuizotl: Doesn't have to be a rule to cheat...

Announcer: Please welcome...the NEEEEEEEWWWWWW...Women's...Eternal...World CHHHAAAMMPPIOOONNNNN...LLLLLLIIIIIGGHTTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUUSSSSSTTTTTT!

-Lightning Dust walks down the ramp in a blue and white hoodie, as she teases the fans with her title. She gets in the ring and marvels at the decorations around her. She is handed a mic, as small chants of "Lightning Dust" are heard-

Lightning Dust: -Rests the title over her shoulder- Thank you! Thank you! It's great to start off Monday Night Lunacy as YOUR Eternal Women's Champion...-she points out to the fans- All of the fan-mail that I've gotten over the past week has REALLY gotten to me...to the point where I almost can't BELIEVE where I stand today...it only fuels me to defend this title week-in, and week-out...just so all you nobodies will have something to cheer for. -More crowd boos- I mean, let's just imagine what the landscape would look like if I really WAS eliminated last week...Twilight Sparkle? You'd all be practicing the "Magic of Friendship" had she won. I'm not here to make friends! I'm here to DOMINATE the competition, to OUTSHINE those that didn't allow me to shine AT ALL growing up! Scootaloo? Is she really even WORTHY of being in the same ring as me? Pfttt! I think not...she's WAY to reckless and irresponsible to represent Lunacy as it's champion...I mean, LOOK at what she did to Diamond Tiara! There's no TELLING how long she'll be out for...no...at the end of the day, NOBODY in that match deserved to hold this title as much as ME! I've got the high-flying skills Scootaloo WISH she had, and I can suplex CIRCLES around Twilight Sparkle...-Lightning Dust looks at her pinata- Ya know, THIS makes NO sense...who would want to bust open the FACE of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation? -She cackles, and looks straight at the camera- EAT YOU HEART OUT, RAINBOW DASH! -She then cackles some more-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -Most of the crowd cheers, but there are still some noticeable boos-

Garble: How DISRESPECTFUL! This is the time to CELEBRATE! Twilight LOST! Why can't she just let Lightning Dust have her moment? And there's that little DORK Spike, too!

Ahuizotl: Because our oh-so-humble champion has done nothing but insulted the other participants in last week's battle royal. Lightning Dust isn't the ONLY gifted superstar in the back...also, lay off of Spike! He's had a tough life. He loves his sister and has been waiting ALL week to join her in the ring.

Garble: At least you realize the girl's skills...

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE she has skills. She isn't the champion for NOTHING!

-Twilight high fives the many fans in the crowd, though mostly the kids. Lightning Dust yawns, and lounges on the top turnbuckle as she enters the ring. Spike fetches a microphone and gives it to Twilight-

Lightning Dust: I don't remember R.S.V.P'ing anybody to this party...

Twilight: I'm VERY disappointed in your actions thus far, Lightning Dust...

Dust: Sorry, mom...-smirks-...was going to walk Larry in a few hours...COMPLETELY slipped my mind...

Twilight: This is SERIOUS. You come out here, insult me and my performance last week-

Dust: Not JUST you...me and Sunset Shimmer were the only two deserving of winning, but I still addressed the performance of everybody else in the match. Stop thinking about yourself.

Twilight: I realize I wasn't the only one in the match. Scootaloo also put on an INSPIRING performance, Midnight Strike showed us something that she didn't get the chance to in her previous match, and, yes, Sunset Shimmer was impressive, as well. Just because you won, however, does not give you the right to forget all of that.

Dust: Actually, it does. I got drunk off my ass after I won, so I completely forgot everything that happened after that bell rang. -Gasp- Oh, I know! Why don't you write a letter documenting how your night went, Twilight? -More cheers of "Lightning Dust" are heard at Dust's brave jab at Princess Celestia-

Twilight: That's disrespectful...also, you called SCOOTALOO irresponsible? I don't believe a CHAMPION should go out and party. I believe they should focus on strategizing for their first title defense!

Dust: Yeah? Well, that's not saying much, considering how much of a hermit you are. "Crowd "OOOHHH's" at that- When the time comes, a strategy won't be needed...nobody on Lunacy can take this title from me.

Twilight: You don't even DESERVE that title! You CHEATED to win it!

Dust: HAHA! Going in for the kill, aren't we? -Dust steps off the turnbuckle, and approaches Twilight- Listen, Mary-Sue...the only rules in a Battle Royal is that you have to go OVER THE TOP ROPE, with BOTH FEET hitting the floor to be eliminated...I went for a spear, and went through the MIDDLE ROPE. Sure, both of my feet DID hit the floor, but that does not matter if I didn't go OVER THE TOP ROPE. Do you understand what I am saying? You cannot do one without the other. I figured with all that book-reading you do, you would've read the wrestling HANDBOOK.

Twilight: There is no such thing as that.

Dust: Then use some common sense. The announcer SAID it right before the match began.

Twilight: That is still no excuse for you biding your time outside of the ring, and taking advantage of me and Scootaloo when we were clearly engaging in a heated battle.

Dust: Oh yeah..."heated", huh? Is that why I heard the crowd sitting on their hands the ENTIRE time? Look, I fell outside the ring RIGHT IN FRONT of you. You were stunned, yeah, but I KNOW you saw me...why not just slide out under the bottom rope, or even go through the middle rope, pick my ass up, and throw my ass back into the ring? Didn't we learn at wrestling school that you should always be aware of your surroundings, outside AND inside of that ring?

Twilight: You could've got right back up and gotten back in the ring, not stay outside like a coward.

Dust: Falling onto that floor outside HURTS like a bitch, Sparkle. Hell, I thought you'd know that! After all, I DID throw you out MYSELF.

Twilight: Well, you weren't hurt when you eliminated me and Scootaloo from BEHIND.

Dust: Why are you up on the top turnbuckle IN THE FIRST PLACE? That is the WRONG place to be in a Battle Royal! It's grounds for an EASY trip to the floor outside! Once again, you did something without THINKING, which I thought you were a MASTER of?

Twilight: I was THINKING...thinking about WINNING.

Dust: Don't you think I was, too? That's why I'm HERE. To WIN. Apparently, I was thinking a LOT more than YOU. I had a gameplan, and that was to wait it out. If you, or nobody else could see through it, then you're all IDIOTS.

-Spike kindly grabs Twilight's microphone-

Spike: Stop talking to Twilight like that, Lightning Dust! She IS smarter than you, and she IS a better wrestler than you! If you put that title on the line against her, she'll PROVE it. And she won't stoop to such low levels to win it!

Garble: Oh my God-KICK HIM IN THE NUTS.

Dust: -Smirks- Listen, Spike...I know your story. I know what you've been through in your life. But if you let your sister get in the ring with me...I'll make her wish SHE was adopted.

-Twilight gets in Dust's face-

Ahuizotl: This is becoming about more than the title QUICKLY, folks...

Garble: Don't be ridiculous. It's ALWAYS about the title!

So together we are lost on the moon... -Crowd cheers, as Twilight quickly turns her head towards the ramp, while Lightning Dust slowly cranes her head in the same direction-

Garble: Now THIS is an interruption I can get behind!

Ahuizotl: -Sigh- And HERE comes the kiss-upping...

Garble: It's the general manager of Lunacy! The show is practically NAMED after her, you dummy!

Luna: -Once again raises a hand, silencing the fans at once. Except for one lone fan that begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" accompanied by 5 claps. He continues to chant it, until nearly the entire crowd is doing it. Luna smiles at this- This is not my decision, but I WILL talk to my sister about that. -She winks at the crowd, and they all cheer- On a more serious topic: You two may argue about the schematics of professional wrestling ALL NIGHT, but it won't even matter. Despite the way she did it, Lightning Dust is the Eternal Women's World champion-

Dust: -Begins slapping the title with a hand- THAT'S RIGHT!

Luna: ...You cannot change that, Twilight. She DID do it within the context of the rules. Speaking of rules, one rule of the EWF, is that EVERY champion MUST defend their title within a 30 day period, or they will no longer be champion. Lightning Dust, despite what you might think, this rule DOES apply to you.

Dust: That's FINE, GML! I realize what responsibilities come with being champion. I'm here to PROVE myself, and the best way to do that is to WIN!

Luna: Hmmm...very well. Tonight, we will decide who the number 1 contender to your championship will be. I've noticed that there are QUITE a few rivalries brewing here on Lunacy, and I'm going to give all the catalysts in these rivalries the chance to develop a NEW rivalry...with YOU, Lightning Dust.

Dust: It doesn't matter if I've got EVERY superstar in this COMPANY on my tail! I'll beat 'em ALL.

Luna: We shall see. Tonight's main event will pit the team of Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, Rarity, and Scootaloo against the team of Sunset Shimmer, Turf, Silver Spoon...and Lightning Dust, in an 8 woman tag team match. -The crowd cheers- Whoever gets the pinfall, will face Lightning Dust at Proving Grounds...for the Eternal Woman's World Championship.

Dust: Piece of cake. What happens if I get the pin, though?

Luna: Then you will receive the right to PICK your opponent. It may be WHOEVER you chose.

Dust: -Nods in a cocky way- How fair!

Luna: We are pleased that the champion respects our decision. If she is victorious, we will respect HER decision. -Luna leaves the stage-

-Lightning Dust has grasped her title with both hands. She plans to hit Twilight with it. As Twilight turns around, she is saved from a severe blow by Spike kicking Lightning Dust in the shin. Spike and Twilight quickly leave the ring as Lightning Dust falls to the mat. The crowd mostly boos-

Garble: This crowd has the right idea! If Spike has so much FAITH in Twilight, couldn't he have believed that Twilight would've countered Lightning Dust's attack?!

Ahuizotl: Now you're just making excuses.

Garble: The crowd is seeing what you're NOT seeing. They realize that THAT was cowardly by Spike!

-Spike raises Twilight's hand on the ramp, as Lightning Dust pounds the mat in frustration.-

Ahuizotl: This crowd is NUTS. They were chanting for DARING DO! WHY!?

Garble: Something tells me the crowd isn't done yet...-The camera pans to konyy2k, who is holding up a giant "#DaringRevolution" sign like he SAID HE WOULD. The crowd sees this on the titantron, cheers, and begins to chant "WE WANT DARING" along with five more claps-

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT, CELESTIA! GIVE THEM DARING DO ON FRIDAY SO THEY'LL STOOOOOPP!

*Commercial*

-Trending on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution."-

Ahuizotl: You FOOLS! What is so redeeming about that nasty woman?!

Garble: She's like Lara Croft...but better. Get a clue!

Ahuizotl: WHATEVER. Let's just get the action for tonight started!

-The sound of a drill whirs through the arena-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALLL...introducing first...from Lonevyille...weighing 132 pounds...COOOLLLGAAATTEEEEEE!

-Colgate stalks out, wearing a black-and white laboratory-like suit, and white gloves-

Ahuizotl: Oh NO...HOLD ME.

Garble: Normally I'd decline, but in this case...-Ahuizotl and Garble hold each other- We are about to witness the singles debut of Colgate...the most EVIL dentist in Equestria...

Ahuizotl: And no, we're not overreacting! Colgate uses the BIGGEST drill imaginable, doesn't wear gloves, and REFUSES to give you a lollipop after she's done!

Garble: It's UNTHINKABLE!

Colgate: -Grinning at the commentators- Hey, Garble! Need a fill-in?!

Garble and Ahuizotl: AHHHHHHHHH! -They hide under the announce table-

-Colgate turns towards the ramp, and cracks her knuckles in anticipation-

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no lies... -MASSIVE boos-

Garble: EVEN WORSE!

Announcer: And her opponent...from Loneyville...weighing 123 pounds...OH CHRIST IT'S TWIST!

-Twist blows a kiss at the announcer, and twerks down to the ring. She slides into the ring, as this week, the cameraman has learned his lesson by NOT going in for the ass shot. He instead pans to a shot of a slightly intrigued Colgate-

-Once in the ring, Twist walks up to Colgate, and begins to grind on her with her ass-

Twist: Oh, Doctow Cothate...I don't need a cavity thiwwing, but I DEW need a THYSICAL...-waggles her eyebrows-

Ahuizotl: Better her than me!

Colgate: -Not amused- Sweetie...the only thing YOU'LL need after this match...IS A FUNERAL. -Floors Twist with a right hand, and begins to kick her down with big boots every time she tries to get up.-

Garble: I can't believe I'm saying this...BUT GO COLGATE!

Match 1: Colgate vs Twist

-4 minutes of domination later...-

-Chants of "THANK YOU COLGATE" ring through the arena, as Colgate manically grabs Twist by the hair, and pulls her up-

*BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT!* -Crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Colgate!

-Colgate hooks the leg-

1...2...3! *DINGDINGDINGGG*

Announcer: Here is your winner...COOOOOOLLLGAAATTEEEEE...

Garble: No! Don't end it yet! Do it again!

Crowd: ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

-Colgate picks Twist up, and delivers another "Brush, Rinse, Repeat" to her. The crowd erupts in cheers once again-

Crowd: THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU COLGATE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Colgate jams a hand into Twist's mouth, and begins to yank at the lower-part of her mouth-

Ahuizotl: Ouch, Ouch, OUCH!

Garble: Such AWFUL memories...

-Colgate stops yanking when she notices blood wash over her hand. She exits the ring, and walks up the aisle, grinning like a maniac. Twist lays in the ring, blood pouring from her teeth-

Garble: Well, Dr. Colgate didn't get any teeth as a souvenir, but she sure did give Twist her own souvenir, in the form of a malicious beating!

Ahuizotl: Malicious is NOTHING. She wanted to rip TEETH out of her mouth!

Garble: I'd rather HAVE a root canal than see more of Twist dancing...

Ahuizotl: You and me both, partner...you and me both...

*Sunset Shimmer's locker room*

Sunset Shimmer: -With her arms crossed- Alright, slime...what was the deal with you attacking Shining Armor last week?

Snails: -A lost look on his face- Huh huh! What a great name for our tag team...eh, Snips?

Snips: Yeaaahhhhh...Slllliimmeeeee...I like it! Thanks, Sunset!

-Sunset backs the two up against a cubby-

Sunset: And thanks for ANSWERING MY QUESTION! -Growling- WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT RINGSIDE LAST WEEK?

Snips: -Sweating- W-we...we have to worry about OUR careers too, Sunset...

Snails: Y-yeah...we had to make an impact! -Grins goofily-

Sunset: So worry about them, then! You could've made a BIGGER impact by helping ME win the title! Don't you want to be associated with the biggest star on Lunacy?

Snips: O-of course we do!

Snails: A-and we already are! You don't need a title to be the most dominate star on Lunacy, Sunset!

-Sunset backs off, and begins to think about that statement-

Sunset: -Smirks- Hmph...well played. I suppose you're right, but the title IS a little extra leverage to help the claim. You shouldn't have wasted your time on SHINING ARMOR, though...

Snips: He was right there. We felt it was worth it.

Sunset: Well, you'll see if it is in the long run...I can imagine that he's pretty pissed at you guys right about now...he'll be looking to did to you what you did to him.

Snips: We're not worried about Shining Armor! We gave him a CONCUSSION! He'll never be the same after what we did to him!

Snails: Huh huh, yeah! Aaaand when he comes back...we'll do it again!

-Flash Sentry comes barging into the locker room-

Flash Sentry: There you are, Sunny! What are THESE two jackasses doing in YOUR locker room?

Snails: Nnnnnno! We're Slime!

-Sunset puts her arms around Flash-

Sunset: Oh, babe...ignore them...you know me and them are good friends...

Flash: Friends or not, because of them, MY FRIEND had to have 17 stitches in his forehead...because of them, MY FRIEND is going to be out of action until further notice!

Sunset: -Scolds Flash- You need to calm down. They're trying to make an impact like everybody else. Just be glad it wasn't YOU.

Flash: -Shrinks a little under his girlfriend's stare- S-sorry, Sunny...I'd like to see them try to do it to me, though.

Sunset: -Rubs Flash's chin with her thumb and index finger- Why not ask for a match, then? Then you can take out AAAAALLLL your frustrations on them, and make me proud at the SAME TIME.

Flash: -Giggles like only a MANLY MAN can- I-is it okay if I already went to Princess Luna and asked for one?

Sunset: -Disapproving glare- ...Fine. I'll let it slide this ONE time, but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me BEFORE-HAND...okay?

Flash: -Gulps- Y-yes, Sunny...of course. It won't happen again...

Sunset: -Kisses Flash on the lips...passionately and forcefully- ...Good. Now, go get ready for your match...I have to get ready for MINE. -Winks-

Flash: Y-yes, ma'am! -Looks past Sunset- You two bozos better decide which one of you is going to face me...and QUICK. -Quickly scurries out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...see? We're not worried, Sunset.

Snails: Huh huh, yeeeaah! He sweats as you stare at him! He can't handle Snips in the ring!

Snips: -Eyes bulge- M-ME?! Why don't YOU face him?

Sunset: He sweats because I OWN him...and I own YOU morons, too! Hmmmm...now, let's see...which one of you deserves to get destroyed? -She repeatedly looks between Snips and Snails- Hmmmm...-After many moments of thinking, she slaps Snails across the face- Get out there, Snails! Impress me...OR ELSE.

Snails: Y-yes, ma'am! -Runs out of the locker room-

Snips: Heh heh...poor guy. So, Sunset...wanna watch the match with me?

-Sunset slaps Snips-

Sunset: You IDIOT! He's your PARTNER! Don't leave him hanging! GO OUT THERE!

-Snips doesn't say a word. He just grimaces at the slap, and rubs it as he walks out of the locker room-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL...introducing first, from CANTERLOT...weighing in at 225 pooouundsss...FLLLLASSSHHH...SEEENNTTRRRYYY! -Most of the crowd boos, and barrage Flash Sentry with chants of "You're A Pussy" along with five claps to make it even worse-

Ahuizotl: I do not envy Snails ONE BIT...Flash Sentry had to watch his best friend, Shining Armor, bleed on the floor in front of him...

Garble: Plus, he's got SUNSET SHIMMER "warming him up" every single day of the week. With advantages like THAT, Flash Sentry could take on THE WORLD.

Ahuizotl: Even IF Sunset acts a little...rough.

Garble: Eh, a girl's gotta be able to keep her man in line. Sunset knows what she's doing!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Aaaannndddd, his opponent...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 197 pooouunddsss...SNAAAIILLLSSSS! -Some slight crowd cheers, but most are boos-

Garble: I wouldn't underestimate Snails, he's going to be crafty in that ring. He's light on his feet, if not a bit unorthodox.

Ahuizotl: He also has some momentum on his side, as we bring up the attack on Shining Armor last week.

Garble: -Nods- He may not have been expecting it, but that doesn't matter. Snips and Snails DESTROYED Shining Armor last week on Lunacy! 17 stitches, 'Zotl...17! Can you count that high?

Ahuizotl: -Grins- So...how about the bravery of Spike in the opening segment? Kid's got quite a bit of spunk.

Garble: FOCUS ON THE MATCH.

Match 2: Snails vs Flash Sentry

-Snails comes right out of the gate, backing Flash into a corner and thrusting him in the head with elbows-

Garble: See what I mean? Just look at the way he uses his elbows...how he rears back and clicks his tongue with each strike. It's such a different style of wrestling.

Ahuizotl: It indeed is. I wonder if that will render Flash Sentry out of his game.

*14 minutes later*

-Snails clutches his hands around Flash's abdomen. He lifts him up for a back suplex, but Flash counters by flipping himself over and landing on his feet.-

Ahuizotl: Flash thwarts the high impact move by landing on his feet.

-Snails comes charging at Flash, but Flash lowers himself by the ropes, pressing it down to send Snails over it.-

Garble: Snails hangs on, though!

-Flash rushes up to Snails, but Snails nails him with a shoulder block on the apron. Flash backs up quite a ways away from Snails. Snails leaps off of the top rope, but his attack is blocked as Flash kicks him in the gut on the way down. Flash grabs Snails' own abdomen, and positions his head between his legs.-

Ahuizotl: Uh oh...this doesn't look GOOOOOOO- *FLASH FLOOD (Basically the Canadian Destroyer)* WOW! WHAT A MOVE BY FLASH SENTRY!

Garble: HE JUST FLIPPED HIMSELF AND HIS OPPONENT INTO THE AIR, AND LANDED SNAILS RIGHT ON HIS NECK!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

-Even Snips is in awe, as Flash turns Snails onto his back, and hooks his leg-

1...2...3! -More of the crowd begins to cheer for Flash now over his spectacular new finishing move-

Ahuizotl: It's over!

Garble: OF COURSE IT IS! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?!

Ahuizotl: I absolutely did! Let's see it again!

Garble: IN ALL THE ANGLES! ALL THE ANGLES AND SLOW MOTION PLEASE!

*At least 10 more replays of the Flash Flood on Snails are shown*

Announcer: Here is your WINNNEERRR...FLLLLLAAAASSSHHHHH...SEEEENNNTTRRRRRYYYYYY!

-The crowd begins to chant "One More Time", but before Flash can humor the crowd, Snips enters the ring and attacks him from behind-

Garble: DAMMIT! I want to see the Flash Food AGAIN!

Ahuizotl: Snips better watch himself, or Flash could hit it on HIM.

Garble: YES! It can come out of NOWHERE, too!

-The crowd begins to boo as Snips uses the ropes to jump into the air and CRUSH his knee against Flash's abdomen a few times-

Crowd: FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

-Snips brings Flash to his feet, and then sends him out to the floor as he RAMS his shoulder against the steel post. The crowd continues to boo-

-Snips places Flash's head up against the outside ring-post, and grins wickedly at the steel steps on the other side of him.-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...he's going to do to Flash what he did to Shining Armor last week!

Garble: Someone stop him!

-Snips goes over to pick them up, as Shining Armor jumps over the barricade from behind him. He has a thick bandage enveloping his forehead. He tells the crowd to shush, and they obey.-

Garble: Wait...th-that's...

Ahuizotl: SHINING ARMOR! SHINING ARMOR IS HERE!

Garble: And Snips has NO CLUE!

-Shining quickly rummages through the ring apron. He soon pulls out a steel chair.-

Garble: This isn't going to turn out good for Snips...

-Snips picks up the steel steps, and when he turns around, Shining thwacks the steel chair against the steps, the force causing Snips to fall to the floor, with the steps sitting atop his face-

Ahuizotl: OH MYYYYYY! WHAT A SHOT BY SHINING ARMOR!

-Shining continues to mesh steel against steel, as the steel steps collide against Snips' head under the rubble over and over again.-

-Flash groggily stumbles over to Shining, and forces him to stop. The crowd boos. Shining puts the chair down, and shares a look with Flash. They then look at the ring, and smirk.-

Garble: Uh oh...what do they have in mind? They've done enough damage!

-Flash picks up the steel steps, and tosses them into the ring. Shining Armor in turn picks up Snips, and tosses HIM into the ring. He grabs the steel chair just in case, and both he and Flash enter the ring.-

-Flash stands on top of the steel steps, and has Shining Armor feed him to him. Flash grabs Snips, and pulls him onto the steel steps with him. He positions his head between his legs. The crowd becomes unglued in realization of what is going to happen next.-

Garble: Oh shit...oh shit oh shit oh SHIT! IS HE GOING TO DO IT?!

Ahuizotl: He might as well! There's NO turning back now, Flash!

Garble: He's not going to do it...there's no way!

-Flash looks to the crowd, and their cheers rise more and more with each glance, until finally...-

*FLASH FLOOD ON THE STEEL STEPS!*

Ahuizotl: IT HAS BEEN DONE! IT HAS BEEN DONE!

Garble: THAT'S FUCKING INSAAAAANNEEEEEEEE!

-The crowd could not be more happier at that outcome.-

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: And the crowd LOVES IT! And rightfully so! That was the greatest thing I've ever seen!

Ahuizotl: *As more replays are shown* As if the first act of "Flash Flood" wasn't enough...Flash had to give them an ENCORE!

Garble: Flash Flood II: When Steel Steps Backfire!

-Snips lays unconscious on the mat, blood pouring out of his skull. Shining has to help Flash up, as his hip seems to be giving his problems.-

Ahuizotl: Flash may be hurting, but that had to have felt SO GOOD for him!

-As Snails tries to get back up, Shining Armor silences his stand with a clobbering chair shot to the back.-

Ahuizotl: And one for good measure on Snails!

-Shining lays the chair down, picks up Snails, and positions him by the chair.-

*REDACTED MOVE ON THE CHAIR* -The crowd erupts into more thunderous receptions.-

Crowd: BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS! BROMANS!

-Shining Armor and Flash each put a foot on the top of the steel steps, as they use their hands to look out at a sea of admirers. The chants continue, as their music hits.-

Ahuizotl: Snips and Snails thought they could handle Flash Sentry here tonight...they thought that Shining Armor would not be a disturbance in their plans...little did they know, Shining Armor was lurking in the shadows, and when he struck, it made a bigger impact than "Slime" could've ever imagined!

Garble: Are we really calling them "Slime" now? Well, it's appropriate, because "Slime" is now oozing all over the mat...courtesy of The Bromans! Shining Armor...and Flash Sentry!

-Backstage, EGO is seen watching the scene unfold on a monitor.-

Fancy Pants: -Turning to Gustave Le Grand.- And THAT, is EXACTLY why WE are challenging for the Combo of Carnage championships at Proving Ground. Ruffians like THOSE two don't DESERVE to represent the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's male tag team division.

Gustave: Hur hur...you are right, sir. We are the PERFECT example of what tag team wrestling is all about. A crisp offense, a chemistry that not be broken...-he turns to Fleur De Lis.-...Even a dashing mademoiselle...-he takes Fleur's hand, and kisses it. She giggles- -Gustave looks at the camera.- Speaking of "ruffians"...Braeburn! Happy Trails! -Gustave goes into his best western accent- Yippee ki-yay, pardners? -He snorts- Please...you two are an EMBARRASSMENT, a DISGRACE! EGO may as well be GIVEN the titles...

Fancy Pants: You have this strong connection with the crowd, but does that really matter? We don't think it does. EGO doesn't NEED the fans...the fans NEED EGO.

Gustave: Without EGO...the crowd deflates. And with you two "buckos" as their champions...they just may POP.

Fancy Pants: Which is why EGO is here to inflate them. With us as champions, they'll never run out of air...

-Gustave and Fancy Pants walk away, as Fleur continues to pose. When she notices she is alone, she runs after her clients.-

*Commercial*

EHEHEHEHE...everybody come see the greatest show... -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled from ONE FALL...introducing first, from CLOUDSDAAALLEEEEE...weighing 157 pooouunddsss...MIIDDDNNIIIGHTTT STRRRIIKKEEEE!

-Midnight once again has no intentions to mess around. She stomps to the ring as the other Oddities are doing their own thing behind her. Dance Fever is channeling his inner Michael Jackson as he tries to moonwalk...and trips. Bill Neigh is bullying a Rubik's cube, Clip Clop's cheeks are expanding because apparently he has an allergic reaction to the brand of facepaint he is using, and Hugh Jelly is using a turkey baster to extract the jelly from a jelly doughnut. He squirts the jelly into his mouth and throws the doughnut itself aside.-

Garble: Who would waste such a good doughnut like that?!

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: And, her opponent...from Crystalville...weighing 131 pounds...HOONNEEYYCCOOMMBBBBB!

Ahuizotl: And we now will get to see what the BEAUTIFUL former beautician Honeycomb can do when she's all alone in that ring.

Garble: In all honesty, though, she couldn't have drawn a WORSE opponent to be paired up with. Midnight is flat out PISSED after what happened in her debut match last week.

Ahuizotl: She put up a GREAT showing in the battle royal, as she was in the final 6, but her FIRST match was met with...unfortunate results...

Garble: She got screwed! And it was all thanks to that DOOF Hugh Jelly!

Ahuizotl: Hugh didn't mean it! It was a simple accident.

Garble: An accident that sent Midnight off the deep end! She told me that she's looking to rectify that loss. Like I said, I would not WANT to be Honeycomb...well, I would, because I'd get to play with my boobies...but, still...

Ahuizotl: You give teenagers everywhere a bad name...

Match 3: Midnight Strike vs Honeycomb

-Honeycomb smiles, and extends a hand to Midnight, but Midnight responds by chopping Honeycomb into oblivion.-

Ahuizotl: Can't really blame Midnight here. She's said before that she isn't out to make friends.

Garble: Then why does she hang out with the Oddities? I don't get it. There's nothing ODD about Midnight, other than the fact that she looks like a bee...but that's it! What makes her "fit" into this group?

Ahuizotl: She doesn't know either.

Garble: That's...ODD.

Ahuizotl: Did you mean to do that?

Garble: No. I was trying to find the mode.

Bill Neigh: I can appreciate that joke! -Tries to air-five Garble-

Garble: Fat chance, lens-pusher.

-9 minutes later-

-Midnight scoop slams Honeycomb down to the mat, and goes to the top-rope.-

Ahuizotl: How impressive has Midnight looked tonight? She REALLY wants to make up for that embarrassing loss to Twist last week.

Garble: And she's going to do it, too! Honeycomb hasn't been able to get out of the starting gate ALL match!

-Clip Clop finishes his "Go Midnight" balloon, and ties it together. When he swats it into the air, it just so happens to go into the ring. Midnight jumps off of the ropes, looking for a diving headbutt. Honeycomb moves out of the way, but the balloon lands on the mat and doesn't. Midnight's head pops the balloon, and thus, her eye is injured in the process.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! That's not good at all...

Garble: One of Midnight's stupid friends screwed up again!

-Clip Clop begins to cry as Midnight writhes in pain. She has to use the ropes to help herself up. Honeycomb takes advantage of the tragedy and rolls up Midnight.-

1...2...3!

Announcer: Here is your winner...HOONNEEYCOOMMBB!

Garble: Unbelievable...it happened AGAIN. Midnight got screwed AGAIN!

-Honeycomb goes to check on Midnight, but Midnight responds by blindly cutting her down to the mat with her own feet.- She rolls out of the ring, and kicks the first member of the Oddities she can reach in the nuts, as she can't see. Unfortunately for Dance Fever, he was the one.-

Dance Fever: UGH! My disco balls...

-Midnight has to be helped to the back by Bill Neigh and Hugh Jelly, as Clip Clop cries, knowing it was all his fault.-

Ahuizotl: Poor Clip Cop...he didn't mean to...

Garble: Doesn't matter! For the second week in a row, Midnight has lost a fight that she otherwise WOULDN'T have! Not only that, now she's actually HURT.

-Honeycomb hugs Clip Clop on the outside.-

Ahuizotl: Well, got to give it to Honeycomb. She knew her surroundings, and got the win in her debut singles match.

Garble: Yeah, but she got it by the skin of her teeth...

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here with one of the participants in that HUGE 8 women tag team main event...Cadance!

Cadance: -Smiles- Hello there, *REDACTED NAME*.

Interviewer: Cadance, tonight, you have the opportunity to accomplish TWO things: Take out Sunset Shimmer, and get the winning pinfall and face Lightning Dust at Proving Ground. What's your gameplan?

Cadance: Well, I can tell you ONE thing: I DO plan to take out Sunset Shimmer. If I can get my hands on her, and pin her, though...wow. That's like killing THREE birds with one stone. I'll then move on to Proving Ground, and beat that tramp's friend for the championship! That'll make up for EVERYTHING that's happened to me...me and my Shining Armor. -Determined face- By the end of the month, we won't have to worry about that SKANK Sunset Shimmer ever aga-

-Cadance is blindsided by Sunset Shimmer. The interviewer scurries away as Sunset stands over Cadance's body. The leans down to her face.-

Sunset: Well now...you can't do ANY of those things if you're not even IN THE MATCH! -Sunset stomps on her gut, and drags her down the hall a little bit. She stops at a black chest.- You should've kept your nose out of MY BUSINESS, barbie! You'll ALWAYS have to worry about me...-Sunset places Cadance's head inside the chest.-...ALWAYS! -And slams it down on top of it.-

-Sunset places a boot on top of Cadance's already damaged head, and adds more pressure to it by forcing her boot down.-

Sunset: You're pa-THETIC! What does Shining Armor see in YOU? -Chuckles- By the end of this whole fiasco, he WILL realize that you are not as strong and AGGRESSIVE -Even more pressure- A WOMAN AS ME!

-Sunset removes her boot from her fallen victim's head and smirks as Shining Armor rushes up to Cadance.-

Sunset: Speak of the devil...do you SEE this, Shining Armor? Do you SEE what I've done to your sweetheart? THAT cannot be done to me! I'm BULLETPROOF!

Shing Armor silently looks at Cadance's unconscious frame. He is quickly surprised by a lightning fast kiss on the forehead from Sunset.-

Sunset: Hopefully you realize the mistakes you have made up to this point, and FIX them...-Sunset waves to Shining, and walks off with a feeling of "job well done!"-

Shining Armor: Oh, Cadance...-Shining lowers his head into Cadance's hair, and sobs quietly.- I'm so-OO so-OOrry...

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest, is a TRIPLE THREAT match, scheduled for ONE FALL, and...is to determine...who will face Overdrive, to become the Champion of Carnage...at Proving Ground...

-A small intro begins as a raw array of multiple lasers begin to dance on the middle of the stage. As the intro climaxes, they move apart.-

Well it's been such a long time coming, I thought you'd understand...

-A mixer's table with a laptop next to it rises off to the side of the stage, as we see a man with brown spiky hair on the top, which transcends into more spikes as it moves down the side. He has gray "Beats" headphones on around his neck, and has a pretty noticeable fake tan.-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman...you are now, in the mix...with the world's PRETTIEST DJ...ZEMA...IIIIIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN! -He taps a button on his laptop repeatedly, and it makes the basketball horn sound.- YEAH! And it is my honor, to introduce...the soon to be CHAMPION...OF CAARRRNAAAGGGGEEEEEEE...ladies, remember this name-YOU'LL be screaming it later...NEEEONNN...LIIIIIIGGHHTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS! -There is more basketball horn, as the beat to "Showdown" by Pendulum DROPS, and with it, rises Neon Lights, who comes marching out onto the stage like a crack-baby.-

Garble: Awwww YEAH! Hear this song at ALL the parties!

Ahuizotl: Who would invite YOU to a party?

Garble: Neon Light said everybody that's COOL is PARTYING tonight after he wins...that does NOT include YOU, 'Zotl!

Zema: MAKE SOME NOOOOOOOIIIIIISSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -More basketball sounds as made as Neon Lights brofists Zema. He gets in the ring and begins to run around like a complete idiot, or like The Miz circa 2006.-

Since they wanna know...

Announcer: And...his opponent...FIRST...from Loneyville...weighing 157 POOOUNNDSSS...GIIIIZZZZMMMMMMMOOOO!

Garble: LAME. What a nerdy paste-faced loser this guy is...

-Geri, Gizmo's "corner-man", and grand-father leads his worried and panicked grandson to the ring. Geri points to the ring at Neon Lights, and tells Gizmo to "F him up." Gizmo throws a few practice jabs that his grandfather compliments him on. Gizmo gets into the ring, and sits him on a stool in his corner as Geri massages his back.-

Geri: Yur a killah, kid...an absolute KILLAH. Yur gonna rope these dopes and win dah title at dah pay per view. Got it?

Gizmo: Errr...-wheezes- I think so, grandpa...

Geri: It's just like Ali Baba said: "I'm a terrorist, and I hate bees!"

Gizmo: I'm not sure if that's how the saying goes...

Geri: Well, we can't ask Ali himself cuz he blew himself up, so just go with it.

Garble: This show cannot be saved...-buries his face into his hands-

-The lights go out, as we see those same tassel-covered blue boots from last weeks. They are moved in a straight line down the ramp, and then are guided back up to the ramp. When the light goes back on, Rumble already has his glasses off, and is cutting another picture perfect face.-

Garble: I stand corrected...it CAN be saved!

-Rumble begins his trek to the ring, with Flitter and Cloudchaser in toe. Horsepower had to quickly setup the velvet rope, but he got it done just in time to let Rumble and his ladies through. All the while this was happening, Rumble was, of course...taking selfies. He continues to take selfies as he lays on the apron, and as he gets into the ring.-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GORGEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Match 4: Rumble vs Gizmo vs Neon Lights

-The bell rings, and Rumble will not cease with the taking of selfies.-

Ahuizotl: Holy CRAP...-sighs- Doesn't this guy's phone battery EVER die?

Garble: Hey! You can't just RUSH gorgeous! Gorgeous needs to PLAY itself out...

Ahuizotl: -Rolls his eyes- Whatever. Just tell us about our two DEBUTING superstars...I've heard ENOUGH about Rumble for one night.

Garble: -Shrugs- Have it your way. It's not very complex. Neon Lights is one one of the biggest DJ's in Equestria, as well has Vinyl Scratch's main collaborator-

Ahuizotl: And yet he needs his OWN DJ?

Garble: Oh COURSE he does. As soon as he goes through that curtain, he has to focus on WRESTLING. That's what Zema Ion is for! I know NOTHING about him...

Ahuizotl: And what about Gizmo?

Garble: HA! Oh...where do I start? He's a nerd who WANTED to work in computers like his dad, but his grandfather, Geri Gloves, one of the GREATEST boxers in Equestrian history, changed his mind with 100 year old stories of him getting the first cauliflower ear and stupid stuff like that. Long story short...Gizmo isn't meant to be a rough and tough boxer...he's a WIMP.

Ahuizotl: Maybe his granddad's training WILL pay off...we've seen some pretty big upsets here on Lunacy ALREADY...THIS could be one of those.

Garble: I doubt it.

-7 minutes later-

-Gizmo tries to run off the ropes, but DJ Zema Ion grabs his foot. He then gets on the apron, and distracts him.-

Garble: Good! I want Rumble to win, but as long as Gizmo the Geek loses, I'm fine!

-Neon Lights runs at Gizmo, but Gizmo instinctively moves out of the way, causing Neon to clothesline Zema to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: Looks like he should've stayed at the record-scratcher...

-Neon turns around, and runs into a jumping right hand from Gizmo.- The crowd cheers loudly in response.-

Garble: WHOA! Are you kidding me?

Ahuizotl: Gizmo MAY surprise us yet!

-Gizmo cannot believe it. He gets a sudden adrenaline rush, and lowers himself down to the bottom rope by his grandfather.-

Geri: You got dis in dah bag, kid! Now PUNCH that prettyboy's ticket!

Gizmo: -Wheezing uncontrollably- Alright! I can do it! -Gizmo raises himself with the ropes, and holds his fist into the air by the corner as Rumble stirs.-

Garble: No...no...NO!

Ahuizotl: Gizmo is feeling it!

-The crowd is split. Half are chanting "LET'S GO RUMBLE", and the other half is chanting "LET'S GO GIZMO!"-

-Just as Rumble gets up, Gizmo comes running at him.-

Gizmo: THE EYE OF THE TIIIIGGGGEEEER-

-Only to get caught in midair by a spinning heel kick. The crowd that was chanting for Gizmo falls silent, as Rumble's fans go wild.-

Garble: WHAT A COUNTER! CAPITALIZE, RUMBLE!

1...2...3!

Garble: YEEEEEEEEES! THIS SHOW HAS BEEN SAVED!

-As Rumble's music hits, Flitter and Cloudchaser joyfully enter the ring, and hug their man.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...RRRRRRRUUUUUUUMBLLLLLEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: I TRULY thought Gizmo was going to pull it out...I REALLY did. But Rumble...say what you will about him...he has a LOT going for him. And you have to feel that he will be going into Proving Ground...with more confidence than anybody in the world.

Garble: My maaaaan! He did it! I knew he could! Maybe now Overdrive can stop COMPLAINING, because here tonight, Rumble has PROVED...that he is ready to be champion...and I can't wait to see that GORGEOUS belt, around his GORGEOUS waist...

-Rumble grabs his cell phone, and takes more selfies over a befallen Gizmo's body. Horsepower disposes of the body over the top rope, as Rumble and his valets celebrate up the ramp.-

*Commercial*

-We come back live and see Sparkler using the ropes to stretch before her match.-

Ahuizotl: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, to Monday Night Lunacy. You can see Sparkler...preparing for her match.

Garble: And I've been told her opponent is...well, "under the influence", so to speak...

*GLASS SHATTERS*

Ahuizotl: I see what you did there...

Announcer: And...her opponent...from Loneyviiilleeeee...BEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY...PUUUUUUUNNNNCCCCCHHHHH!

-Berry Punch comes out with a black jacket that states "B.Y.O.B.", or "Bring Your Own Berries." She walks to the ring with a no-nonsense attitude, and shoves Sparkle out of her way as she climbs the top rope, and throws her two middle fingers into the air. She does this with all three other turnbuckles, and launches Sparkler into a corner.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! She's wasting no time!

-Berry Punch stomps at Sparkler into the corner into she falls at a seated position. She then continues to stomp into her chest, as the referee begins to count.-

Ref: 1...2...3...4...-he grabs a hold of Berry Punch- COME ON BREAK THE HOLD!

-Berry turns around, and flips the referee off. The crowd erupts in cheers.-

Garble: HAHA! What a cool chick! The law listens to HER!

-Berry comes off the ropes, and hits a Uol Zseht press on Sparkler, along with a fury of punches.-

Ahuizotl: Berry Punch in ABSOLUTE control in the opening part of this match!

-Berry stalks Sparkler until she gets up, and turns around...-

-Before Berry Punch can hit the Bar Tab, she collapses right in the middle of the ring. The crowd gasps.-

Garble: What the hell...?

Ahuizotl: I...I believe this woman has just passed out...

-Sparkler looks around the ring in confusion. After a moment, she drops to her knees, rolls Berry over, and pins her.-

1...2...3! -The crowd doesn't know what to think as the bell rings, and Sparkler runs to the back.-

Announcer: Here is your winner...Sparkleeeerrr...

Ahuizotl: Uhhhhh...

Garble: I'm with you all the way on that...

Ahuizotl: Perhaps she shouldn't have drank before the match...

Garble: Maybe she'll learn her lesson next time...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true... -Most of the crowd boos, but some cheer.-

Garble: All right! That can only mean one thing!

Ahuizotl: Main event time?

Garble: Well, I was thinking Turf and Silver Spoon time, but that's good, too...

-Turf and Silver Spoon walk out onto the stage with a very fragile Diamond Tiara. She is wearing a neckbrace.-

Garble: Awwwwww...poor baby!

Ahuizotl: Oh please. Why couldn't she just stay home?

Garble: Shut up! This young woman is in the recuperating process! She has the right to support her friends if she wants!

-Diamond Tiara tries to wave at the crowd, but finds it too difficult as she holds her neck in place. Turf and Silver Spoon look very worried with every move she takes. Silver Spoon opens the ropes for her, and Turf leads Diamond Tiara inside the ring carefully.-

-Turf uses her boot to ROLL the still passed out Berry Punch out of the ring. The crowd boos some more.-

Garble: Get out of there, you drunk! Make way for Diamond Tiara!

Ahuizotl: Oh will you stop it?

Garble: She's lucky to even be able to WALK, 'Zotl! After that VISCOUS attack at the hands of Scootaloo last week!

Ahuizotl: It was a sanctioned match! Whatever happened has been documented as a fair affair!

-Silver Spoon grabs a mic for Diamond Tiara, and carefully places it into Diamond's hand.-

-As Diamond Tiara begins to speak, she is interrupted by chants of "HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK?" and five claps after each time.-

Garble: How disrespectful...LET HER TALK!

-Now trending on Twitter: "Flash Sentry", "Rumble", and "#BasketballGoal."

Diamond Tiara: I just wanted all of you to know, that you're not going to bring me down! -Most of the crowd boos.- Oh, no! Not this time! -She begins to tear up.- None of you...*sniffle*...have ANY idea what kind of pain I'm going through right now! It's hard to eat, it's hard to talk...I can't look up too high or I'll sprain my neck...

Crowd: BUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT! BUUUUULL-SHIT!

Diamond: QUIIIIEETT! -Diamond screams, but quickly realizes that was a bad idea as she looks down at the canvas.- I don't need any of you...not ONE of you sent me any "Get Well Soon" messages...none of you cared when I got injured, and none of you seem to care now! WELL FINE! -Silver Spoon tries to calm Diamond down. It seems to work.- The doctor doesn't know how long I'll be out...but while I'm gone...the only two people I need! The only two people that CARE! Silver Spoon and Turf...the two girls that are more FLAWLESS than any of YOU neck-beards could ever DREAM of being...are going to AVENGE me...they are going to make you PAY for what you did to me, Scootaloo...and I'm going to enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE of it! And that starts TONIGHT! Because one of these two beautiful, FIERCE females...are going to PIN you, and gain that title shot at Proving Ground! And the one who DOESN'T...challenges you to a MATCH at Proving Ground! AND THEN YOU'LL SEE...WHY I'M DIAMOND TIARA! AND WHY I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT! -Diamond slams the mic down, perhaps a little too hard, and has to be courted out of the ring, and onto a chair outside of the ring by the announce table.-

Garble: What a PASSIONATE speech by Diamond Tiara! I cannot WAIT for her to get back in the ring, but at least I have comfort in knowing that Scootaloo will get what's coming to her...

Ahuizotl: We will find out who will face Lightning Dust for her championship at Proving Grounds...the 8 women tag team main event...is NEXT!

Garble: Is Cadance going to be able to compete?!

*Commercial*

Ahuizotl: We are BACK, everybody...with the main event of the evening!

Garble: Sunset Shimmer is the LAST one to enter this match...as you can see, Cadance is NOT already in the ring. It appears she will not be able to make it out to the match...

Ahuizotl: And it's all thanks to that premeditated ASSAULT by Sunset Shimmer a while ago, that we will be having a 4 on 3 HANDICAP match here tonight.

Garble: Not only did Sunset take out Cadance, but she made the odds THAT much better for a member of her team to take home the title shot.

Ahuizotl: OR for Lightning Dust to pick her own opponent.

Garble: True. I wonder who she'd pick?

Announcer: Aaand, their opponent...from CANTERLOT...weighing 143 pooouunnddsss...SUNSEEEETTT...SHIMM-

-Sunset's introduction is cut off, as Cadance runs down the ramp and LEAPS onto Sunset's back, knocking her down to the steel floor below. The crowd cheers in surprise, as others boo.-

Garble: Wait a minute! There's Cadance!

Ahuizotl: She is NOT pathetic like Sunset implied, because she's got her attacker REELING!

-Sunset backs up against the barricade by the first set of steel steps. Cadance charges at her, and clotheslines both Sunset and herself into the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: Into the crowd they go! Give them some room!

-Cadance advances on Sunset, but she gets floored with a desperate kick to the gut. Sunset scurries away up the steps, but Cadance quickly gets up and pursuits after her, the fans patting the two female athletes on the shoulder as they make their way up the stairs. They soon make their way to a guardrail. Below that, is a small tech area with water to those who are manning the lights in the arena.-

Garble: This is NOT a good place to be! Sunset should've hurried up and gotten in the ring!

-Sunset tries to ram Cadance into the guardrail, but Cadance blocks it, and bashes the head of Sunset into it herself. Cadance backs up.-

Ahuizotl: We've seen enough crazy stuff tonight, Cadance! We don't need to see anyMOOOOOORRREEEEE! -Cadance spears Sunset, breaking the guardrail and sending them both through the wooden table that was holding bottles of water below.-

Garble: IT NEVER ENDS! THE MOMENTS NEVER END HERE ON LUNACY!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Garble: That's the SECOND TIME the fans have chanted that tonight...and ONCE AGAIN...it's WORTHY! WHAT THE HELL ARE THE ATHLETES HERE ON LUNACY NOT UP FOR PUTTING THEMSELVES THROUGH?! WHAT, DAMMIT I ASK YOU!

Ahuizotl: THAT is what makes the superstars of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation the most PHYSICAL and ENTERTAINING athletes on the face of this earth!

Garble: Now neither Cadance OR Sunset Shimmer are going to be able to complete! This has all of a sudden, turned into a SIX WOMEN TAG!

Main Event: Turf, Silver Spoon and Lightning Dust vs Scootaloo, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle

-25 minutes later-

-Scootaloo is standing on the top rope. She is waiting for the other legal women, Lightning Dust, to get up. The referee is occupied checking on Silver Spoon, who was just pulled off of the apron and SLAMMED right into the barricade by Rarity. All the other participants are scattered around the ring.-

Ahuizotl: Look out, Scootaloo!

-Scootaloo is clobbered in the shoulder by a steel chair shot from Diamond Tiara, who had just gotten up from her seat, and onto the apron to use that same seat. The crowd's boos are DEAFENING as Scootaloo falls to the canvas.-

Ahuizotl: OH COME ON! I THOUGHT SHE WAS INJURED!

Garble: It doesn't take THAT MUCH willpower to deliver some retribution to your most hated enemy...

Ahuizotl: Oh that's such CRAP! Scootaloo was on her way to Proving Ground right there!

Garble: You don't know that...and hey! Now there's still a chance either Silver Spoon or Turf can redeem their gal-pal in a match against Scootaloo! It's all going to work out in the end!

-By the time the referee has turned around, Diamond Tiara is already sitting where she was before, like nothing ever happened. Twilight quickly gets on the apron, reaches down, and tags Scootaloo's shoulder. She tries to get in the ring and finish off Lightning Dust, but Turf has grabbed a hold of her foot. As Twilight tries to kick at her, Silver Spoon has gotten back into the ring, kicked Twilight in the gut, and has moved her back into the ring in position for a suplex. Turf gets into the ring to make that a DOUBLE suplex, but Rarity runs up at the last second to deliver a DOUBLE neckbreaker to turf and Silver Spoon!-

Ahuizotl: Rarity saves her from Twilight from imminent doom! What an AMAZING move!

-When Rarity turns around, she is face to face with Lightning Dust.-

*FULMINOLOGY!* -Most of the crowd cheers.-

Garble: Aww yeah! Now Lightning Dust is all alone to pick the bones of a dazes Twiligh-

-Diamond Tiara gets back up on the apron, and begins to yell at Lightning Dust.-

Diamond: NO! IF YOU WIN, YOU'LL JUST PICK SOMEBODY EASY TO BEAT! LET TURF OR SILVER SPOON GET THE PIN!

Lightning Dust: Go text your boyfriend, BITCH! I am the CHAMPION, and I'll pick WHOEVER I want! Those two hoes had their chance to win, and they BLEW i-

-Twilight comes up from behind Lightning Dust, and rolls her up.-

1...2...-Lightning Dust pushes Twilight off of her, causing Twilight to collide with Diamond Tiara, who falls off of the apron and hits her neck against the barricade.-

Garble: Goddammit WHY?! She was just looking out for her homegirls!

Ahuizotl: The match isn't over yet!

-Twilight seems a bit disturbed by what just happened, which gives Lightning Dust the perfect opening to go for her finisher, Astraphobia. Twilight lands on her feet.-

*TAKE A NOTE!*

Ahuizotl: THERE IT IS! COVER!

1...2...3! -The bell rings, and most of the crowd boos.-

Garble: COOOMMMMEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNNNN! -Garble begins bashing the table cover in frustration.- COME ON!

Spike: Here is your winner, and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDDDDEERR...TWWWIILLIIIGGHHTTT...SPPPAARRKLLLEEEEE! -The crowd boos some more.-

Ahuizotl: What an INCREDIBLE ending sequence! Look on the bright side, boy, at least we'll have a competitive championship match at Proving Grounds!

Garble: -Sighs- I just wanted Diamond Tiara to be happy...but you're right. If that ending is ANY indication, Lightning Dust's first challenger may be the toughest she'll ever have to face, and I can't WAIT to see how THAT battle's going to turn out!

Ahuizotl: Until next week...GOODBYE, folks! I'm Ahuizotl...

Garble: And I'm Garble...

-The show ends with Spike raising Twilight's hand high in the air. Silver Spoon and Turf are tending to Diamond Tiara outside the ring. Twilight lays Lightning Dust's title over her prone belly.-

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: UUUUUGGGGGGHHHH YOU COULDN'T CUT OFF SOON ENOUGH?!

*End of Show.*

Quick Results:

Colgate defeated Twist
Flash Sentry defeated Snails
Honeycomb defeated Midnight Strike
Rumble defeated Neon Lights and Gizmo
Sparkler defeated Berry Punch
Twilight Sparkle, Scootaloo, and Rarity defeated Turf, Silver Spoon, and Lightning Dust

-Sublime's theme begins to play as a mixture of blue and green fireworks begin shooting off on stage, ending with a final explosion of pyrotechnics. The crowd goes wild, ready for a week greater than the last-
-Apple Bloom is already in the ring, with an angry look on her face and a mic in hand-
Dr. Whooves: Welcome back for another edition of Sublime where this week looks to be even better than the last. In addition to another round of tournament matches tonight will also contain a triple threat tag team match between the Ghost Girls, Aloe and Louts, and Octavia and Vinyl Scratch to determine who will face Beauty Shot for the Sublime tag team championship at Proving Grounds.
Apple Bloom: Last week, ah was forced to fight in a tournament match against another member of the Apple Dynasty, Babs Seed. Now ah didn't take it too seriously. After all, what would it matter who won as long as it was one from our stable right? But no, Babs Seed decided to be a sore loser and attack one of her own family all over a stupid tournament. It was the lowest of low moves and ah-
*REDACTED Theme*
-The crowd boos as Babs Seed enters stage-
Discord: Oh excellent, here comes Babs Seed. Is it match time already?
Babs Seed: Ya wanna know somethin' Apple Bloom? Nobody gives a damn. I don't need to justify myself to you. I needed to make a statement to show everyone that I'm the real deal. I'm sorry ya got in the way, but it just sucks to be you.
-Crowd starts chanting "WE WANT DARING" *CLAP CLAP CLAP* -
Babs Seed: Ya want Daring? Too freakin bad! I hope she gets bit by a venomous snake or lost forever in the jungle!
-Near unanimous booing-
Apple Bloom: Oh you made a statement alright. And that there statement has gotten ya kicked out of the Apple Dynasty. We all voted before the show and decided we can't have traitors like yaself in our ranks. That's not enough for me though, I want revenge. I want a match against you, tonight.
Babs Seed: Oh no, I got kicked out of the Apple Dynasty! How terrible! I'm just gonna give up Apple Bloom. Not. Ya think I really care? Tag teams are a nice side-show, but all together this is an independent sport. Friends are just tools and family is dead weight dat will drag ya down in the end. I don't need any of dat, I can make it on my own and I'll prove it. I'll face ya tonight, but it's not gonna be just any regular old match. I want this to be a no disqualification match! You ruined my chances in the World Fighter's Champion tournament, now I'm gonna ruin yours.
Apple Bloom: Yer on. And after tonight you'll learn what happens when ya mess with the Apple Dynasty!
-Crowd Cheers-
Dr. Whooves: What a main event, such bad blood between relatives.
Discord: Inspiring isn't it?
*Commercial*
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville,accompanied by Lotus Blossom, standing five foot, five inches tall and weighing 128 pounds, Aloe!
Dr. Whooves: Last week's tournament match ended up horribly for Lotus Blossom, time to see if her partner Aloe has better luck.
Discord: Probably not. It's graveyard for pretty nails inside that ring.
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing 140 pounds and standing at six foot, six inches tall, Fluttershy!
-Fluttershy walks silent down the ramp with a few of her animals, giving the crowd a few awkward smiles and careful waves-
Dr. Whooves: She brought her pets to the ring? What kind of insanity is this?
Discord: Any kind is a good kind.
Dr. Whooves: Ugh, Poor woman though, she looks like she couldn't hurt a fly.
Discord: She looks like a fly could hurt her.
Dr. Whooves: That's absurd.
Discord: I've seen weirder things happen.
Dr. Whooves: Like what?
Discord: You getting this job! AHAHAHAHA!
Dr. Whooves: I'm BLEEDING on the inside.
Match 1: Tournament Match, Aloe vs. Fluttershy
-3 minutes later, Fluttershy is getting dominated due to a lack of fighting back, Aloe clotheslines her out of the ring, Angel hops over to her-
Fluttershy: What's that Angel? You say I'll never get anywhere if I don't fight back?
*Pause*
Fluttershy: Well...I don't know...it would be kinda mean to do that.
*Pause*
Fluttershy: OK...OK...I'll try.
Dr. Whooves: Is she actually talking to that rabbit? This woman has taken too many blows to the head, somebody call the medics out.
Discord: Oh please, she seems perfectly sane to me.
-Fluttershy re-enters the ring, Aloe charges her again but this time Fluttershy counters and takes her to the ground, locking in a *redacted submission move*-
Fluttershy: Please just tap, I don't want to really hurt you.
-After about a minute Aloe taps out-
Announcer: Here is your winner, Fluttershy!
Dr. Whooves: Fluttershy put on an impressive display of skill once she actually started fighting.
Discord: Maybe it was all part of some devious plan.
-Fluttershy exits the arena with her animals in tow-
*Commercial*
*Now trending on Twitter: #NoDQ #Talkingtoanimals #DaringRevolution*
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 275 pounds and standing six foot, eight inches tall, from Loneyville, Big MacIntosh!
Dr. Whooves: Good lord, this man is like a giant...
Discord: Hmm, I wonder what he gets his name from.
Dr. Whooves: And those muscles are totally fake.
Discord: Pfft, you only say that because all Brits are pansies. No guys with muscle where you come from.
Dr. Whooves: You are the most racist bastard I've had the displeasure of knowing.
Discord: I try.
*REDACTED theme*
Announcer: And his opponent,accompanied to the ring by Spitfire, from Cloudsdale, weighing at 220 pounds and standing six foot, one inch tall. Soarin!
Dr. Whooves: It looks like we have a David versus Goliath match on our hands.
Match 2: Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin
*7 Minutes later*
-Big MacIntosh hits a suplex on Soarin, Soarin gets to his feet and barely manages to duck under an incoming clothesline, he then goes to throw a punch but McIntosh catches his fist and Irish Whips him out of the ring-
-Soarin falls to the concrete next to Spitfire, he slowly gets to his feet and smiles at her-
Soarin: Hey baby, enjoying the show?
Spitfire: -Facepalms* Ugh, Soarin, would you focus on the match?
Soarin: Don't worry, I totally got th-
-Big MacIntosh, who climbed out of the ring while Soarin was distracted, grabs him from behind and throws him over the steel steps-
Dr. Whooves: Ouch, that's what ya get for paying attention to your girlfriend instead of the match.
Discord: Can you really blame him? A woman like Spitfire demands attention, even by just standing there.
-Big MacIntosh rolls Soarin back into the ring and hits *REDACTED* on him, followed up by a pin-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here's your winner, Big MacIntosh!
Discord: Well, it looks like it was David who got an ass-kicking this time.
*Backstage*
-Apple Bloom is in the locker rooming preparing for her later match when Commander Hurricane and her Squire enter the room-
Apple Bloom: Where's yer guards?
Commander Hurricane: That's classified, and it's not why I'm here. I've been informed that I am to face you next week in the second round of this gladiator tournament, I've come to accept your surrender.
-Apple Bloom busts out laughing-
Commander Hurricane: How dare you laugh at me!? What is so funny?!
Apple Bloom: Why would ah surrender to you? Ya'll don't scare me. Ya couldn't beat a sack of flour without cheatin'.
Commander Hurricane: Of all the insulting...! Take that back you Plebeian!
Apple Bloom: Naw, and what's a Plebeian?
-Commander Hurricane growls and whispers something to her Squire-
Squire: Yes, my lady, of course. I'll arrange it.
-Commander Hurricane and Squire exit the room, leaving Apple Bloom with a confused look on her face-
Dr. Whooves: Oh dear, what could Commander Hurricane be planning?
Discord: ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
*Commercial*
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are both in a room backstage,sitting around a fancy highly decorated table with various high class items on it, Braeburn is dressed up like Fancy Pants while Happy Trails is wearing a cheap rip-off of Gustave Le Grand's mustache-
Happy Trails: *Fake french accent* HURR HURR HURR, we are shoe-ins for the Combos of Carnage titles! Those ruffians will tremble in fear of my over-sized mustache!
Braeburn: *Mimicking Fancy Pants' voice* We just have to make sure not to get any of their dirt all over our skin and our fifty million dollar clothing!
Happy Trails: Oh merde! That would be terrible! I would have to take ze shower! JUST KIDDING, We french do not shower! Hurr Hurr.
Braeburn: Would you like a cup of tea my good man?
Happy Trails: Why yes, that would go excellent with my croissants!
Braeburn: After we destroy those pathetic cowboys we should invite all our fellow elites for a tea and coffee!
-Happy Trails responds with more stereotypical french laughing and mustache twirling-
Dr. Whooves: Braeburn and Happy Trails playing some mind games with EGO.
Discord: How juvenile.
Dr. Whooves: If anyone deserves it, it's EGO.
Discord: I wasn't complaining. I love juvenile antics!
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: The following tag team match is a part of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, both members of the winning team will move on to the next round. Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 301 pounds, The team of Applejack and Sweet Tooth!
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing a combined 280 pounds, the Ghost Girls!
Match 3:Tournament Match, Ghost Girls vs. Applejack and Sweet Tooth
*11 minutes later*
-The Ghost girls are preparing to do a tag team move on Applejack, but she knocks Inkie down to the floor with an elbow and hits *REDACTED on Blinkie-
1...2...3!
Announcer: And here are you winners, and the ones advancing to the next stage of the tournament, the team of Applejack and Sweet Tooth!
*Commercial*
-Rainbow Dash is backstage walking towards her next match when she comes face to face with Trixie, the two stand silent for a moment glaring at each other-
Rainbow Dash: If you even raise that mic I'll put your face to the wall.
Trixie: Oh please, if Trixie meant to utterly destroy you, -Cocky smile- Like she did last week, she would of done so by now.
-Rainbow Dash continues towards the arena, keeping a sharp eye on Trixie the whole while-
Discord: Awww, and I was hoping somebody was going to get their face busted open.
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, on her way to the ring, from Clouds dale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!
-Rainbow Dash sprints down towards the ring, high-fiving a couple fans along the way and receiving lots of cheers-
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing in at 153 pounds, standing six foot, seven inches tall, Cheerilee!
-Cheerilee walks down the ramp receiving mostly cheers, one member of the crowd holds up a sign saying, "That's my teacher!" however konyy2k is present there as well with his, "#DaringRevolution" sign-
Match 4:Tournament Match, Rainbow Dash vs. Cheerilee
-14 minutes later-
-Rainbow Dash jumps off the turnbuckle and hits Cheerilee with a flying kick-
Dr. Whooves: Rainbow Dash is in total control of this match, how on earth do you counter speed like that?
-After a few more high flying moves Rainbow Dash sets up for the Sonic Raindrop and hits it, immediately going for a pin-fall afterwards-
*1...2...3*
Announcer: Here's your winner, Rainbow Dash!
-The crowd cheers loudly while Rainbow Dash pics up a mic-
Rainbow Dash: You see this Trixie? This is going to be you if and when we face off. I'll defeat you plus anybody else, win the World Fighter's Championship, and that'll make both you and Lightning Dust shut up. Which is a win/win for me.
-Rainbow Dash walks away with more cheers behind her-
*Focus switches to the titan-tron, once again featuring Daring Do with the Amazon jungle behind her*
Daring Do: Hello again Sublime, I've got good news and bad news. Good news, I think I might of found a way out. Bad news...-A spear flies past Daring Do's head and sticks into a tree behind her- Some of the natives want to make me a meal... I'll get back as soon as I can and I'll try not to bring my friends with me! -Daring Do runs out of camera view, followed by several natives armed with spears, one of them stops and stares at the camera, poking it a few times before moving on-
*Commercial*
Announcer: The following is a triple threat tag team match, and will determine the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship.
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 258 pounds, the team of Aloe and Lotus Blossom.
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 280 pounds, the Ghost Girls!
*Classical/Dubstep remix music*
Announcer: And now approaching the ring, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!
Match 5: Sublime Tag Team Championship Number One Contenders match, Triple Threat tag team, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch vs. Ghost Girls vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom
-As the match begins Beauty Shot takes seats at the commentary table-
Dr. Whooves: Ah, we're being joined by the Sublime Tag Team Champions. Here to scout out the competition?
Photo Finish: Of course, although it's not like it really matters. None of these teams are high enough caliber to beat us.
Pretty Vision: Yeah!
Photo Finish: Silence!
Pretty Vision: Sorry...
*10 minutes later*
-Photo Finish winces as Octavia and Vinyl Scratch start to dominate the match-
Discord: Something wrong?
Photo Finish: No, we beat them easily last week. We can do it again.
Dr. Whooves: By cheating...
Photo Finish: It was not cheating! It was being resourceful. Our skill far outclasses theirs.
Dr. Whooves: Then why do you look worried?
Photo Finish: I don't like wasting time, the title match will be faster if the weakest team wins.
-About a minute later Photo Finish stands up and orders Pretty Vision to follow her-
Pretty Vision: But we aren't in this match...
Photo Finish: We are now.
Pretty Vision: Ok, if you say so.
-Both Ghost Girls and Lotus Blossom are out of the ring, leaving Aloe alone inside, Vinyl Scratch and Octavia are about to do a tag team finisher when Pretty Vision hits Octavia with her title belt, Vinyl Scratch turns and hits *REDACTED* on Pretty Vision only to be hit by a *REDACTED* from Photo Finish-
Discord: Now that's what I call ring clearing.
Dr. Whooves: Only Photo Finish is on her feet...this won't be good.
-Photo Finish drags Aloe on top of Vinyl Scratch and yells at the ref to count the pin-
*1...2...3!*
-Crowd boos-
Announcer: Here are your winners, and the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship, Aloe and Lotus Blossom!
Dr. Whooves: And once again Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are screwed over by Beauty Shot.
Discord: It's their fault for being so easy to screw over.
Dr. Whooves: After this commercial will be back with our main event, Apple Bloom versus Babs Seed in a no-disqualification match.
*Commercial*
*Trending on Twitter: #WeWantDaring #Beauty Shot #Frenchdontshower*
Announcer: The following main event is a no-disqualification match, scheduled for one fall!
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: Entering the ring,standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!
*REDACTED Theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, standing at five foot, seven inches tall, weighing in at 136 pounds, Apple Bloom!
-Babs Seed and Apple Bloom glare at each other from across the ring-
Dr. Whooves: This is going to be big folks, two relatives turned against each other in a no disqualification match, so many things could happen, and so much could go wrong.
Discord: So much could go right you mean.
Main Event: No Disqualification Match, Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed
-The bell rings, Apple Bloom and Babs Seed go straight to brawling-
*8 minutes later*
-Apple Bloom starts tearing down the commentary table-
Dr. Whooves: Oh come on now, that's high dollar equipment!
-Discord grabs his cup-
Discord: Saved the chocolate milk, I'm good.
-Apple Bloom rolls Babs Seed onto the announce table, re-enters the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, she then dives down and puts herself and Babs Seed through the table-
Dr. Whooves: Amazing move by Apple Bloom! But it seems to have taken both competitors out!
-Apple Bloom slowly gets to her feet and starts dragging Babs Seed towards the ring-
Dr. Whooves: Looks like Babs Seed is out of this one.
-Apple Bloom rolls Babs Seed into the ring and starts to slowly climb back in, but Babs Seed suddenly takes to her feet and and stuns Apple Bloom with a punch and then hits a DDT on her before she can react-
Discord: Hah, she was just playing dead.
Dr. Whooves: Looks more like a last-ditch effort to me.
-Babs Seed exits the ring and throws a steel chair in the ring, while carrying another in with her, she then proceeds to hit Apple Bloom over the head with it just as she's getting up-
Dr. Whooves: Oh God...whatever Babs Seed has in mind...it's not good.
-Babs Seed slides one chair under Apple Bloom's head, and then slams the other one down on top of her-
Discord: The PAIN! I love it!
Dr. Whooves: Are you crazy?! She could have a head injury from that!
-Babs Seed goes for a pin-
*1...2...-KICK-OUT!-*
Dr. Whooves: And somehow Apple Bloom just barely manages to kick out!
-Babs Seed picks Apple Bloom up for her finisher but Apple Bloom counters and hits *REDACTED*-
Dr. Whooves: Apple Bloom out of nowhere! This could be it!
-Commander Hurricane runs down to the ring before Apple Bloom can pin, Apple Bloom tries to attack her but Commander Hurricane blocks with a steel bracer on her lower arm, Apple Bloom reels in pain before Commander Hurricane knocks her out with a steel glove-
-Loud boos fill the arena-
-Babs Seed takes the opportunity and pins Apple Bloom-
*1...2...3*
Announcer: And here's your winner, Babs Seed!
Dr. Whooves: Bloody hell! I can't believe this!
Commander Hurricane: -Looking down in Apple Bloom- That'll teach you to respect your betters. -Looks up at Babs Seed- You owe me a debt now, and I always collect.
Discord: No Sweetie Belle to save Apple Bloom this time it seems.
Dr. Whooves: We just got a report that Sweetie Belle was attacked backstage shortly before Commander Hurricane appeared out here...hmm...no obvious connection there.
Discord: Could of been anyone.
Dr. Whooves: Well folks, it looks like there's not time for anymore chaos tonight. We'll see you next week on Sublime!
-The show ends as medics enter the ring to check on Apple Bloom-
Match Results-
Match 1: Aloe vs. Fluttershy Fluttershy Won
Match 2: Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin Big MacIntosh Won
Match 3: Ghost Girls vs. Applejack and Sweet Tooth Applejack and Sweet Tooth Won
Match 4: Rainbow Dash vs. Cheerilee Rainbow Dash Won
Match 5: Sublime Tag Team Championship number one contender's match. Ghost Girls vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom Aloe and Lotus Blossom won
Main Event: No DQ Match, Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom Babs Seed won
Tournament Status:
-Aloe, Inkie Pie, Blinkie Pie, and Cheerilee eliminated
-Commander Hurricane, Apple Bloom, Pinkie Pie, Trixie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Sweet Tooth moving to round 2

1. Scootaloo Position Change: +2 Last Week:3
2. Lightning Dust Position Change: -1 Last Week:1
3. Trixie Position Change: -1 Last Week:2
4. Photo Finish Position Change: +1 Last Week:5
5. Pretty Vision Position Change: +1 Last Week:6
6. Pinkie Pie Position Change: -2 Last Week:4
7. Commander Hurricane Position Change:+5 Last Week:12
8. Fancy Pants Position Change: -1 Last Week:7
9. Gustave Le Grand Position Change:-1 Last Week:8
10. Braeburn Position Change: -1 Last Week:9
11. Happy Trails Position Change:-1 Last Week:10
12. Sunset Shimmer Position Change:-1 Last Week:11
13. Babs Seed Position Change:+4 Last Week:17
14 Overdrive Position Change:-1 Last Week:13
15. Apple Bloom Position Change:-1 Last Week:14
16. Twist Position Change:-1 Last Week:15
17. Diamond Tiara Position Change:-1 Last Week:16
18. Flash Sentry Position Change:+3 Last Week:21
19. Shining Armor Position Change:+1 Last Week:20
20. Turf Position Change:-2 Last Week:18
21. Spitfire Position Change:-2 Last Week:19
22. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:N/A Last Week: N/A
23. Rarity Position Change:N/A Last Week: N/A
24. Cadance Position Change:+2 Last Week:26
25. Lotus Blossom Position Change:+5 Last Week:30
26. Aloe Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
27. Rumble Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
28. Rainbow Dash Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
29. Colgate Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
30. Fluttershy Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A

Entering the Power 30: Twilight Sparkle (Number One Contender for Women's Eternal Championship), Rarity (Main Event Victory), Aloe (1/2 Number One Contenders for Sublime Tag Team Championship), Rumble (Contender for Champion of Carnage), Rainbow Dash (World Fighters Championship Tournament Victory), Colgate (Victory), Fluttershy (World Fighters Championship Tournament Victory)
Leaving the Power 30: Midnight Strike (Repeat Losses), Hoity Toity (Loss plus lack of appearance), Prince Blueblood (Loss plus lack of appearance), Silver Spoon (Main Event Loss), Octavia (Repeat Losses), Vinyl Scratch (Repeat Losses), Horsepower (Loss plus lack of match)

-Anon sees Midnight Strike sitting on a black chest. She is looking down at the ground with a slumped posture. He walks up to her.-

Anon: Uh...Midnight?

-Midnight doesn't look up.-

Anon: ...Another tough loss tonight. For the second week in a row, one of the members of the Oddities have cost you a match. Your thoughts?

-After many more moments of ignoring, Midnight finally looks up, perplexed. She gets off of the crate.-

Midnight: ...My thoughts? ...I'm angry. Did you not get the message?

Anon: Well, yes...I can imagine.

Midnight: CAN you, though? Can you REALLY?

Anon: Well, maybe not in the context of your situation, but-

Midnight: Exactly, you CAN'T. You don't know what I'm going through...to have the FIRST MATCH in this company's history, and lose by a glob of JAM. I almost WON the Eternal Women's Championship, but THAT got overshadowed by my LOSS to Twist...I came here tonight, looking to start clean...and I lose AGAIN. This time, to a BALLOON...

Anon: -Tries to say this as nicely as he can- Well, if you're so angry with the Oddities...why don't you just...leave the group?

Midnight: -Tilts her head and stares at Anon- ...Again, this is why you cannot POSSIBLY feel how I am feeling...I'm not ANGRY with the Oddities...I'm angry with MYSELF.

Anon: Yourself?

Midnight: ...Yes. I'm the one that's supposed the keep a level-head. The boys have NEVER seen this side of me before...it's not THEIR fault...they're HAPPY for me, and I may not LOOK like it...but I'm happy that they're here with me.

Anon: Might I ask why you're even IN the Oddities? You don't really seem to fit in.

Midnight: Oddly, no pun intended...I don't KNOW.

Anon: Well...what did you do before you came to the EWF?

Midnight: I worked at the circus. I was in the "entertainment" sector. I breathed fire. Does that sound like an odd occupation?

Anon: No! It sounds pretty exciting.

Midnight: Well, when my boss hired me, he said my talent WAS odd. But, if you can make money off it, you don't really listen to stuff like that.

Anon: -Nods- True...how did you meet the other Oddities, then?

Midnight: We were a TRAVELING circus. We went to all of these different businesses, doing different endeavors, trying to gain rep. for the circus. I got to work with Clip Clop because, apparently, kids like to see both fire-breathers AND clowns at their birthdays. I would've never guesses. We went to Dance Fever's club, and, since it was more of a FAMILY club, Dance needed more FAMILY entertainment. My talent fit that mold, and he paid me quite a bit each time I went there. Bill used me for demonstrations with his students, like burning salt-water, and Hugh...well...-blushes-...we're high-school sweethearts. Yeah, no weird connection there.

Anon: Very cool...and how did you all come together?

Midnight: It was actually on one of my days off. Hugh decided to take me to Dance's club. Neither of us can dance for crap, but it's fun to make a fool of yourself sometimes. It just so happened Clip and Bill were there, too. We figured out we all had worked with each other at some point or another. Clowns were common at Dance's club, too, Bill used Clip for his psychology course on why some people consider clowns scary, Bill's a pretty good singer, and would sing karaoke at Dance's club. I had become friends with all of them at some point, and they were friends with each other at some point, too. Except Hugh...this was the first time he has met any of them. It's just one of those "faith" things. We all talked that night, and got pretty wasted. We danced, we laughed, and we created memories, and we just started hanging out soon.

Anon: Wow...I never knew ANY of that!

Midnight: I don't consider ANY of us "odd." People find clowns "odd" simply because they're scary. People find professors "odd" just because they like to study. People find Dance Fever "odd" because he still listens to disco and wears tight pants. People find Hugh "odd" because he likes jelly more than the average person. I don't find any of the Oddities "odd"...people just don't know how to respond to different members of society, so they dub them "odd."

Anon: So...why don't you quit?

Midnight: Because the boys are enjoying themselves. I may not look like it, but I'm happy they're enjoying themselves. Everyone thinks I'm such an emotionless bitch because I just walk to the ring with a grump on my face. Truth is, I'm not HERE to have fun. I'm here to break skulls, like the commentators have stated oh so many times...because it's TRUE. Which is why you'll NEVER see me clapping to the beat of our theme music as I walk to the ring...because that's not me. I'm no-nonsense, and I guess that's why people think I'm the "odd" one out of the Oddities. That's an oxymoron. I have ALL the reason to stay in the Oddities, if not just to support the boys, because they've been supporting me. Yeah, I've lost, and I've gotten mad, but nobody's laughing at me when I lose. I don't think they even feel sorry for me, because they're not blind, they saw me in the battle royal last week. They KNOW what I can do. No offense to Honeycomb, but I was DESTROYING her in that ring tonight. One little accident occurred, and she one. I'm not mad at her, because she took advantage, and I'm not mad at Clip Clop...I'm mad at myself, because I let the sting of losing on national television in a way like that burn me so, and the boys don't deserve that, and I have to keep my composure, because I have goals in this business, and all the losses in the world won't keep me from accomplishing that.

Anon: What's next, then? How can you be so sure one of these accidents won't occur next week?

Midnight: I won't be wrestling next week. I talked to General Manager Luna, and she agreed to give two of the boys a tag team match. Don't know which two members of the Oddities that'll be, or even who they'll be facing, but it will give me a chance to just sit back and make sure mistakes like that don't cost me my next match. If the boys succumb to one of these mistakes, then we'll just have to have a talk about it. I just can't wait for them to show the crowd what THEY can do, because the boys CAN wrestle...trust me. They know when it's time to get serious, and in the ring...is that time.

Anon: Well, Midnight...thank you for opening up so much. Nobody has had the chance to interview you yet.

Midnight: Like I said, I'm not here to put my life on display, but I guess it's too late now. I'm an entertainer, so I guess I have to get used to having my life exploited...-begins to walk off- even when I don't want it to be...

*Later*

-Anon sees Rumble by the makeup table. Flitter and Cloudchaser are behind him, applying makeup, as they were last week. He begins to approach, but is stopped by Horsepower.-

Horsepower: What's with you, dude? Shouldn't you know by now that you're not on the li-

-Horsepower is interrupted by Rumble appearing at his side-

Rumble: Calm down there, big-man...don't wanna rip your suit. -Rumble pats him on the shoulder- The public just want to bask in my glorious rays of gorgeousness while they can. We shouldn't deny them that opportunity...-gestures to Anon- Walk with me, doll, walk with me...-they stop at the makeup table- -Continues to take selfies- Make it quick, the battery's going to die soon.

Anon: Well, Rumble, I just wanted to get your opinion on your OFFICIAL opponent at Proving Grounds, Overdrive. What's your strategy going into the match after Overdrive showed you up by clotheslin-

Rumble: Ahh shhh shhh shhh shhhhhh...no need to finish that question as the way you delivered it has revolted me enough already. -Looks at the camera for the first time- I present you...with the art of...MULTI-TASKING. I'm going to answer this question, and take a picture of my moving mouth...frame by frame. Ready?

Anon: Didn't you say the bat-

Rumble: O-ver-dri-ve i-s-a-fil-thy-a-nd-low-ly-cha-lle-n-ge-r. Th-e-fa-c-t-th-a-t-h-e-i-s-re-pr-es-en-t-in-g-th-e-ma-le-'-s-di-vi-si-o-n-a-t-Pr-o-vi-n-g-Gr-o-un-d-s-i-s-al-l-th-e-pr-oo-f-yo-u-ne-e-d-th-a-t-I-a-m-th-e-o-nl-y-th-i-ng-wo-r-th-wa-t-ch-i-ng-i-n-th-at-di-vi-s-io-n. I-f-th-e-tw-o-mi-s-fi-t-s-I-be-a-t-to-n-i-g-ht-i-s-th-e-be-s-t-th-e-y-co-ul-d-fi-n-d-f-or-m-e,-I-a-m-po-s-i-ti-v-e-th-a-t-de-fe-a-ti-n-g-O-v-er-dr-i-ve-w-i-ll-n-ot-b-e-m-u-c-h-ha-r-de-r. -Stops taking selfies with a huge grin- Now...let's play the slide-show!

*7 hours later because Rumble spent 20 minutes admiring himself over EACH PICTURE*

Rumble: Truly my best facial work to date...-kisses the air-

Anon: I thought you said the battery was about to die...

Rumble: Ho-OH, SILLY me! That must've just been my good lucks draining away it's cell power!

*What seems like hours later*

-Anon finds an angry Lightning Dust walking through the hall with her cake in hand, and championship around her waste. He walks up to her.-

Anon: Lightning Dust! Can I get a word with you?

-Lightning Dust sets her cake down, and crosses her arms-

Dust: Here to praise me on my STIMULATING first night as champion? -Grins- Go ahead...I won't stop you. I'll let you go all night!

Anon: I actually wanted to get your thoughts on your LOSS tonight...to Twilight Sparkle...

Dust: -Lowers her eyes- Of COURSE you do...you reporters are ALL the same...always trying to PRY answers out of some crestfallen individual over their most recent hardships. -Chuckles- Ya know...it's funny, really...for what seemed like an ETERNITY tonight, Twilight Sparkle cited me as what would appear as the biggest cheater in the world. She whined all night about how "I took the easy way out"...yet...when it came right down to it...SHE took away what could have been a MONUMENTAL moment for someone she had earlier PRAISED...Scootaloo. I saw what happened...Scootaloo got attacked by Diamond Tiara with a chair. Now, Scootaloo went through even WORSE last week. Not once, but TWICE she was assaulted by Diamond Tiara and her air-headed buffoons, and she nearly won THIS title. -Points at her waist, and rubs her title.- Yet, ONE week later, after all of this praise and what I consider SHOE-HORNING...Twilight tags herself into the match. Now, Scootaloo's gotten back up from worse, as I said...who is to say she couldn't have gotten right back up after that attack? Apparently, Twilight says so. Does she not BELIEVE in Scootaloo as much as she once claimed? Twilight's LUCKY to be facing me, and she'll be LUCKY to be the first victim during my soon to be ILLUSTRIOUS championship reign. But hey, at least I have my cake! -Grins- You want a pie- -Lightning Dust looks down, and notices her championship cake is missing. She turns to see Star Swirl running down the hall with it.-

Star Swirl: YES! A sweet for my sweet to savor and eat!

Dust: -Turning back to the camera, and pointing at the scene.- Now THAT guy deserves more TV time...-shakes her head in shock, as well as in an amused manner.-

Women's Eternal World Champion:

Champion: Lightning Dust
1. Twilight (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Scootaloo (Last Week: 1) v
3. Rarity (Last Week: 4) ^
4. Cadance (Last Week: 9) ^
5. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: 4) v
6. Honeycomb (Last Week: EIGHT (FUCK YOU SUNGLASSES ICON) ^
7. Diamond Tiara (Last Week: 6) v
8. Turf (Last Week: 7) v
9. Colgate (Last Week: N/A) ^
10. Sparkler (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Fighters Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: 3) ^
2. Trixie (Last Week: 1) v
3. Rainbow Dash (Last Week: 4) ^
4. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: 3) v
5. Applejack (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
6. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^
7. Fluttershy (Last Week: N/A) ^
8. Babs Seed (Last Week: 9) ^
9. Apple Bloom (Last Week: 5) v
10. Aloe (Last Week: 10) =

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Rumble (Last Week: 7) ^
2. Overdrive (Last Week: 1) v
3. Flash Sentry (Last Week: 9) ^
4. Shining Armor (Last Week: 4) =
5. Fancy Pants (Last Week: 2) v
6. Gustave Le Grand (Last Week: 3) v
7. Snips (Last Week: 5) v
8. Snails (Last Week: 6) v
9. Gizmo (Last Week: N/A) ^
10. Neon Lights (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Brawlers Champion:
1. Big MacIntosh (Last Week: 6) ^
2. Braeburn (Last Week: 1) v
3. Happy Trails (Last Week: 2) v
4. Hoity Toity (Last Week: 3) v
5. Blueblood (Last Week: 4) v
6. Soarin (Last Week: 5) v
7. Squire (Last Week: N/A) ^
8. Caramel (Last Week: 7) v
9. Doughnut Joe (Last Week: EIGHT) v
10. Thunderlane (Last Week: 9) v

Crater Chick Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Honeycomb (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Colgate (Last Week: N/A) ^
3. Sparkler (Last Week: N/A) ^
4. Midnight Strike (Last Week: 2) v
5. Twist (Last Week: 3) v
6. Turf (Last Week: 4) v
7. Silver Spoon (Last Week: 5) v
8. Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^
9. Cloudchaser (Last Week: 9) =
10. Flitter (Last Week: 10) =

International Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Babs Seed (Last Week: 6) ^
2. Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 2) =
3. Aloe (Last Week: N/A) ^
4. Spitfire (Last Week: 1) v
5. Photo Finish (Last Week: 7) ^
6. Pretty Vision (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
7. Daring Do (Last Week: 4) v
8. Sweetie Belle (Last Week: 5) v
9. Nurse Redheart (Last Week: 3) v
10. Inkie Pie (Last Week: 9) v

Chick Combo Champions:

Champions: To Be Decided
1. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust (Last Week: 1) v
3. Cadance & Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
4. Diamond Tiara & Turf (Last Week: 3) v
5. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 4) v
6. Turf & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 5) v
7. Lyra & Bon Bon (Last Week: 6) v
8. Flitter & Cloudchaser (Last Week: 7) v

Sublime Tag Team Champions:

Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)
1. Aloe & Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch (Last Week: 1) v
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie & Blinkie Pie) (Last Week: 3) =
4. Applejack & Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^
5. Applejack & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 6) ^
6. Sweetie Belle & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 4) v
7. Applejack & Red Delicious (Last Week: 9) ^
8. Applejack & Golden Delicious (Last Week: 10) ^
9. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 7) v
10. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: EIGHT) v

Combo of Carnage Tag Team Champions:

Champions: To Be Decided
1. Braeburn & Happy Trails (Last Week: 1) ^
2. EGO (Gustave Le Grand & Fancy Pants) (Last Week: 1) v
3. BroMans (Flash Sentry & Shining Armor) (Last Week: 4) ^
4. Horsepower and Rumble (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
5. SLIME (Snips & Snails (Last Week: 3) v
6. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood (Last Week: 5) v
7. Neon Lights & DJ Zema Ion (Last Week: N/A) ^
8. Hoops & Dumb-Bell (Last Week: 6) v
9. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate) (Last Week: 7) v
10. Hugh Jelly & Clip Clop (Last Week: 9) v

On Lunacy:

konyy2k: Yes! I hope everyone saw me on Lunacy and Sublime! (I didn't think I'd get to go to Sublime but I had the extra money!) Yeah, I WAS the one who started the "We Want Daring" chant, and of course you all saw my HUGE sign. I didn't expect everyone to join in...apparently there are more Daring Do fans than I thought. A TON more. Princess Luna even acknowledged it! I just wish Daring could've been live on Sublime so she could've thanked her fans...;( oh well. I won't stop cheering until we get her, and even then, I'll keep cheering in support of her. Thanks everyone! (4,372 like this post.)

lupefiascoisgay (in reply): I was there, too. Nice job getting the crowd into it all night on BOTH shows!

konyy2k (in reply): Thanks, man!

4chan (in reply to konyy2k): Can't wait to see the live version of daring Do's porno with Ahuizotl on Sublime (28 like this post.)

Ahuizotl (in reply to 4chan): BETTER BE LOTS OF OIL, BR0. (452 like this post.)

Daring D00d (in reply to Ahuizotl): -Whispers-...I'm a man.

Ahuizotl (in reply to Daring D00d): EVEN BETTER.

notatroll (in reply to Ahuizotl): lol and yet I'm the troll of these threads kay. (29 like this.)

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): nobody can replace you, buddy.

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): lol thanks *kiss* got those monuments done yet?

bennyhill (in reply to notatroll): Applying the last marble piece!

notatroll (in reply to bennyhill): FUCK STOP DISAPPOINTING ME YOUR LIKE THE SON THAT CAN NEVER GET LAID (39 like this post.)

arevolution: IT BEGINS...#DaringRevolution (2,472 like this post.)

8yearoldboy: YAY TWILIGHT ONE ^_^! shes my favorite supurstar and inspires me 2 drink my milk and eat my vitamins! I LUV HEEERRRRR. lightning dust is a mean jerk and i want to smash her pinata!

galpal (in reply): hey little boy you want some sausage with your cereal? -8

8yearoldboy (in reply): no thanks i alreadyate! ^_^

galpal (in reply to): may I speak to your mother?

8yearoldboy (in reply to): no she's out getting groceries and when she gets home shell be making weird noises with daddy in the bedroom

galpal (in reply to): you've got a nice mom kid.

8yearoldboy (in reply to): THANKS! ^_^

MandoPony (in reply to 8yearoldboy & galpal): God I love this forum...

TheAwkwardReviewer: Another stellar episode of Lunacy, if not better than the first one. I'll admit, I HATED the Flash Sentry character...and then...he did THE MOVE. It was incredible. I had NO IDEA he could pull that off! I can't say I'm a fan of his character still, but if they make that move his go-to move, they'll have a million dollar STAR on their hands. The great feud of Sunset and Cadance continues. It's incredible what those two women will put themselves through just to send the fans home happy. Lightning Dust and Twilight had a great opening segment. Twilight's promo got ULTRA repetitive and cheesy, but I think she's meant to be the Nhoj Anec of this generation, and I don't mind it. I like cheesy. We haven't seen much of Rumble's wrestling ability so far, but that triple threat match went long enough to let him do his thing, while not completely burying Gizmo and Neon Lights, who are two other potentially GREAT gimmicks, ESPECIALLY Neon Lights. I love how his DJ seems to only be able to use ONE mixing effect (the basketball horn). Pretty fun 6 person main event, and that makes this episode better than the last. Hopefully this trend continues. (478 like this post.)

shyguy: Flash Sentry's still a pussy.

James Loney (in reply to): Dude...he's got a HOT girlfriend. Wouldn't YOU want to be controlled by Sunset Shimmer?

shyguy (in reply to): No because I find Sunset Shimmer to have a horse-face. (comment removed due to multiple dislikes.)

notatroll (in reply to shyguy): lol yet another troll that easily replaces me as the forum's troll.

Sethisto: Can't Trixie just appear on BOTH shows? (376 like this post.)

On Lunacy:

klunkybutt: ok thats it i said last week if daring doo didnt wrestle no moar ewf well she didnt show up so i no more watch

MandoPony (in reply to): See ya next week! (762 like this post.)

fred2266: Commander Hurricane STILL RULES and Apple Bloom's a fucking idiot. (3,176 like this post.)

bob (in reply to): Of course she's dumb. She's a hick.

galpal (in reply to bob): I'd still eat her butt, though.

notatroll: all this love for commander hurricane and i'm like...but...what about trixie? she has nice tits, too. (1,742 like this post.)

Sethisto (in reply to): YES WE NEED MORE TRIXIEEEEEEEEEE!

mackncheeze (in reply to notatroll): Trixie is pretty great, too. But Commander Hurricane...man.

notatroll (in reply to mackncheeze): bro i feel you commander can fist me with that iron glove anytime i'm just saying get off her and daring do's dick so i can hop on while stroking trixie's. (476 like this post.)

straightouttacompton: Well, they didn't give us Darin' Do, dawg...:/ but I guess we'll have to just keep trying.

Anonymous: OCCUPY THE SQUARED CIRCLE.

notatroll (in reply to): lol get new tricks Westboro Church hating fagg0t (1,472 like this post.)

Job-Guy: Rainbow Dash's match with Cheerile was SO GOOD. I hope RD wins the title! (243 like this post.)

glamourgirl: OMG Aloe and Lotus are SOOOO cute! I'm SOOOO glad they didn't break any nails this week! (123 like this post.)

TheAwkwardReviewer: Another solid episode of Sublime once again outdone by Lunacy, but it's still a great way to spend a Friday night. Commander Hurricane is such a dumb gimmick but I can't help but love how she gets OTHERS to take people our when SHE'S A WORLD RENOWNED WARRIOR OF TIME. It's great. Babs Seed a pretty cool heel, even bad-ass I'd say. Braeburn and Happy Trails' segment made me crack up. I'd like to see how EGO are going to combat that. Fluttershy is the CUTEST wrestler on either EWF roster. Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee has a great match, as did Babs and Apple Bloom. I can wait on Daring Do but it's fun to see the fans voice their opinions, and I hope they do so even AFTER she debuts. All in all, another good episode. The Equestrian Wrestling Federation is the best thing going on TV right now! (1,734 like this post.)

Sethisto: The amount of Trixie on this show displeases me.

The beautiful people...OOOOOOOHHHH...

-The pyro of Lunacy combusts inside the Asylum as all of the "Lunatics" that accompany the Asylum go nuts since they're in an asylum oh god you get it-

Garble: Another week, another pointless show...

Ahuizotl: Hey now...with each show, I gain more and more of a following with the "Daring Do Haters of Equestria" tumblr. Their tagline is: "Lara Croft may be a dumb Brit, but she still has a better ass"...

Garble: I am under the impression that I must disagree but alright. All I know is that you think Daring Do's ass would be a LOT better with some oil, right?

Ahuizotl: You are HARASSING me! Isn't there some kind of RULE against this?

Garble: Not until you kill yourself, there isn't...

Ahuizotl: -Pulls out a revolver, sending a sideways glare Garble's way-

Garble: You don't have the GUTS...-camera zooms in on Garble's serious eyes. Black bars crop everything but them out of focus.-

-Ahuizotl sweats. Ultimately, his shaking hands drops the gun on the table.-

Ahuizotl: Your...you're RIGHT...-hangs his head and sighs. Chants of "WE WANT DARING" with the elementary fives claps after each series of chants begin. Ahuizotl's eyes bulge.- GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHH! -Lunges for the gun, but is stopped by a man wearing a blue mask that covers up only his eyes, a yellow leotard, and a navy blue cape that waves in the wind swaying down on a grappling hook and grabbing the gun before Ahuizotl can get to it.-

?: St-AND BACK! There's a Flash Flood comin' though...-he announces as he flies away into the night-

-Ahuizotl and Garble sit there, voiceless. The crowd also is silent. The only noise that can be heard is the every second blinking of everyone in attendance.-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -The crowd then comes to life with mostly boos, but just about every kid can be heard cheering-

Ahuizotl: And what a reaction...to THIS woman, the number 1 contender to the Women's Eternal World Championship at Proving Grounds!

Garble: And she's with that little BASTARD Spike! Like Lightning Dust said on Backstage Fallout, which went up on the Equestrian Wrestling Federation's YouTube channel last week-

Ahuizotl: Self plug.

Garble: It's in my contract. Lightning Dust said that for Twilight to gain the right to face her for her championship, she had to take that same chance away from the young lady she had praised SO MUCH earlier in the night, Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: So...what are you saying?

Garble: Twilight's a false hero and everything she said last week was contradicted by her actions to close out the show.

Ahuizotl: My, my...such worldly claims. Can't you just be happy for Twilight? Scootaloo was taken out, and so, she took an advantage.

Garble: Even though she had previously SHUNNED Lightning Dust for taking an advantage?

Ahuizotl: I'm not saying you don't make good points...I'm just saying that, at the end of the day it DOESN'T MATTER. We're going to be given a CLASSIC bout at Proving Grounds! I feel that there is NO NEED to debate who is right and who is wrong.

Announcer: Please welcome...Twilight Sparkle, and Spike! -The crowd boos even more, as Twilight continues to high five the children of the audience. She gets in the ring and is soon given a microphone by Spike-

Twilight: Hello everyone, and welcome to Monday Night Lunacy! -More boos, followed by "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants- Last week...was not just a win for me..but it was a win, for -she begins pointing at everything direction of the crowd- each. And every. One. Of YOU. -Boos- In two weeks time at Proving Grounds, I will combat the nefarious and treacherous acts of one Lightning Dust...-more cheers and "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants from the crowd- She has proven since the inaugural episode of Lunacy that she is NOT the perfect, or even the TEMPLATE of a DECENT representative of the women's division as its champion. -Boos- She has feigned ignorance, and looks to corrupt the mind of every fan of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. Those are not attributes that YOU people deserve in YOUR champion...Lightning Dust is NOT someone that should be fighting for YOU. -More boos- When I become the Eternal Women's World Champion, I will do the RIGHT thing, and I will do it for all of YOU! -You know how this works. Boos.- I can only hope I will be able to restore all of the title's credibility before it even had a chance to-

And now...it's all over now.... -Massive amount of cheers-

Garble: And here comes Sunset Shimmer, thank God, to shut Twilight Sapple UP.

-Sunset Shimmer already has a mic as she walks down the ramp-

Sunset: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight...you haven't changed one bit, have you? You've crafted this perfect little fantasy world up, where everybody but YOU is WRONG, and quite frankly, it's getting a bit tiresome. -She stops by the ring apron- Very soon now, these people are going to stop listening to your petty little complaints, and demand some damn ACTION from you! -Crowd cheers-

Twilight: You sure haven't changed either, Sunset...you're still the same manipulative and malevolent WENCH you've always been. Going after my brother, systematically attacking his girlfriend both eternally AND internally? You're even worse than LIGHTNING DUST. She just cheats, while you, on the other hand, only strive to tear relationships apart for your own entertainment.

-Sunset gets on the apron-

Sunset: Oh, YES...I'm just such a MONSTER, aren't I, Twilight? Because everything YOU say HAS to be the gospel truth. You made such a great effort to paint Dusty onto such a PAINSTAKINGLY wrathful piece, while giving young Scootaloo an entire WING of charming excellence. You soon get bored of your construction, and decide to tear it down.

Twilight: Your cryptic words are not appreciated. What are you getting at?

Sunset: -Smirks- You spent all this time praising Scootaloo, but in the main event...you STOLE her golden opportunity right out from under her.

Twilight: She was injured!

Sunset: She could've gotten up. Do you not believe in whom you praise? Face it, Twilight, your ego wouldn't ALLOW you to let someone else have a chance. You stole my chance to be princess of Equestria, and you stole Scootaloo's chance to fight for the title! She would've lost, but she's sure shown she deserves a chance to shine more than YOU. I think you've had QUITE enough time to "shine."

Twilight: You dug your own hole under Princess Celestia's eye. Don't blame that on ME. Secondly, if I didn't BELIEVE in Scootaloo, I wouldn't have given her my seal of approval. She took me to my LIMIT in that battle royal. She may have BEATEN me, but, of course, we'll never know that, thanks to Lightning Dust.

Sunset: -Scoffs- You keep making it sound like Lightning Dust was in the wrong for WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP. You're delusional, Sparkle, and once again, your fantasy world is blocking the reality that's all around you. I think it's time I BEAT some reality into you, because you TRULY do need it...

-Twilight prepares herself, but she is caught off guard by Lightning Dust jumping over the barricade from behind her, storming the ring, and knocking her to the mat with a clothesline. She immediately goes on the attack, as Sunset gets in the ring. The crowd cheers in response.-

Ahuizotl: All this trash talking from Sunset Shimmer, and now the champion is proving everything Twilight has said RIGHT!

Garble: HOW IS THAT? If anything, it's proven LIGHTNING DUST right. Twilight just doesn't GET the mechanics of professional wrestling! You've got to have eyes IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!

Ahuizotl: That is the most low-ball thing I've ever heard! Twilight Sparkle should not have to worry about being BLINDSIDED by a foe when she's having a confrontation with ANOTHER foe!

Garble: You and Twilight share a common interest, then...neither of you GET wrestling.

-Sunset goes to get her some of Twilight, but Spike jumps onto her back, and wraps his arms around Sunset's throat. Lightning takes a break from pummeling Twilight to literally THROW Spike off of Sunset. When Spike gets back up, he is superkicked in the face by Lightning Dust. The crowd "OOH's" and cheers in response.-

Garble: AHAHAHA! Did you HEAR that?!

Ahuizotl: Of COURSE I heard that DESPICABLE act! It must've bounced off the walls of this arena!

Garble: Spike doesn't just get wrestling...Spike doesn't get LIFE. If you want to put your hands on a woman, don't be surprised when a woman puts her hands on YOU.

-Sunset and Lightning return to Twilight, stalking her in the corner and finally hitting her with foot-chokes slaps to the face. All of a sudden, Cadance comes barreling down into the ring. The fans boo.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the cavalry, in the form of Cadance!

-Sunset goes after Cadance with a clothesline, but Cadance ducks and continues running towards Lightning. Lightning vaults Cadance over the ring post when she reaches her, but Cadance hangs onto to the rope. She grabs Lightning by the head, and drives her neck into the rope. By now, Twilight has recovered, and hits Lightning with the Spell Check. Lightning rolls out of the ring, as Sunset recuperates after colliding with the turnbuckle, she runs at Twilight. Twilight leaps over Sunset, and Cadance trips the ropes to send Sunset tumbling down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: How's THAT for delusional?

Garble: Cadance is a disillusioned mess, too. She's going to regret putting her hands on the champion!

So together we are lost on the moon... -The crowd cheers, as Sunset and Lightning regroup by the ramp.-

Ahuizotl: And here comes the general manager, Princess Luna!

Garble: Looking as LOVELY, as always...hey, did you notice that she ALWAYS seems to come out at the start of the show?

Ahuizotl: -Nods- That's correct. You'd figure that'd make this the most CHAOTIC part of the show, but Lunacy gets even more chaotic the longer it's on!

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: -Raises her patented hand- In due-time, everyone...-she suddenly gives a stern look towards the ring- The bickering continues between your four it seems. That is fine. After all, it makes for GREAT television! Sunset Shimmer and Cadance, I will start with you. Over the past two weeks, you two have put each other through feats of hell I never thought ANYBODY on this roster would be willing to put themselves through, just to get an edge of sorts. You've put each other through announce tables, supply tables, smashed each other's heads into crates. It's been a very heated rivalry, and I do not know when it will end. However, I do know when THIS chapter will climax...at Proving Grounds. We need to crown a few more champions, and one of those...is the Crater Chick Champion. You two will face off in a one on one match. Whoever wins, will have the honor of being the first ever Crater Chick Champion. Adding gold to this rivalry may be hazardous to BOTH of your health...but you hopefully know what you're getting yourselves into. Twilight, Lightning Dust, you've both given your sides of the story, but next week, we are going to decide what the SUPERSTARS think. Live, here on Lunacy, you two are going to take part in the first ever championship DEBATE. -Lightning Dust looks confused, Twilight looks ecstatic- More will be explained later. As for all four of you...you can't seem to keep your hands off of each other, and not just the pair of those in a rivalry. So, in our main event, tonight...it will be the team of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance...taking on the duo of Sunset Shimmer, and the Eternal Women's World Champion...Lightning Dust! -Crowd cheers- We thank you for your time...-Luna leaves the stage-

Garble: Once again, Princess Luna makes a HANDFUL of GREAT decisions!

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance at Proving Grounds, what is sure to be a HEATED championship debate next week, and our main event for tonight, is a tag team match featuring participants in the two hottest rivalries on Lunacy? Can you say "EXPLOSIVE"?

Garble: You just did. Why should I?

Ahuizotl: Just cut to commercial...

-Twilight hugs Spike in the ring, as Sunset and Lightning Dust mock the gesture on the outside. Cadance makes a constipated face.-

*Commercial*

-We cut to Squilliam's Serene, the fanciest bar in Canterlot. Standing outside of it, are Happy Trails and Braeburn, whom will be played by Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants respectively. They're both wearing blue overalls. Fancy is wearing Braeburn's brown ten-gallon hat, while Gustave is wearing a straw-hat, with Happy's blue bandanna tied around his neck, and a piece of straw in his mouth to top it all of.-

Braeburn: Well gee, cousin Happeh...this sure does look like a swankeh ol' place, dudn't it?

Happy Trails: Ah'll say, cousin Braeburn! Ah sure do have a hankerin' for some MOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Braeburn: -Frowns- N' what if these Canterlot folk don't make it like we all do on the farm?

Happy: Well ah'll be a monkey's uncle, cuz...y'all know yah should NEVER look a gift horse in the mouth. Ah bet under all dem fanceh suits and expensivemamive LAAAAAAAAAAAAMBORGHHHHHHHIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIS-that these uppity folk start wailin' Tim McGraw songs and ripping off dem clothes to reveal a tattoo of a JOOOOOOHHHHHHNNNNNN DEERE TRRRRRRAACCCCTOOOOOORRRRRR.

Braeburn: -Raises an eyebrow- And wha' in TAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRNAAAAAAATTTTTTION does that have ta do with dem havin' MOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE 'r not?

Happy: ...-Blinks- Ah dunno, cuz. Dem governmament's pay for me ta be alive and such! Ah never woulda passed KIN-DE-GAR-TEN 'tweren't for me havin' sex with Mrs. Lassypassy...who was mah mom...

Braeburn: N' mah dad's wife...

Happy: -Long, drawn-out sigh- ...Yyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ah sure do love FUCKIN' FAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIILLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Braeburn: Ah reckon y'all be spittin' truth like a King Cobra spittin' venom at onne'a dem Viet Kong bastards...that also fucked mah mom.

Happy: N' mah dad's wife...

Braeburn: ...But YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-sir! No truer words have ever been spokenenened. Ain't nuddin' like a good ol' dickin' from yur kin...AIN'T DAT RIGHT, APPLEJACK?

-Fleur De Lis, wearing Applejack's stetson, and blue overalls with a checkered button-up underneath comes into view-

Applejack: YEEEEEE-HAW! Who wanted a dickin'?

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK! Cousin Applejack...-"Oh, you!" face-...y'all don't have a DIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKK.

Applejack: HYUK, HYUK, HYUK-man's voice- Ah MIIIIIGGHHHHTTTTTT...

Happy: ...Ah don't doubt it! -All three HYUK-

Braeburn: Ah think y'all have ALREADEH been in the moon-shine, cousin Applejack...-grabs her by the overalls- AM AH GON' HAVE TA GET BIG MACINTOSH TO BEAT THE LILY-LOVIN' SHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT OUTTA YOU? -Stink-eye-

Applejack: -Meek voice- Nuh uh, cuz...ah dun pay mah taxes...

Braeburn: !-lets go, and pats Applejack on the head- Ah know y'all do, cuz! -Licks her face-

Happy: HYUK, HYUK-AH DON'T -derp face-

Braeburn: Well yur a fuckin' idjit 'COURSE y'all don't! -All three HYUK again-

Happy: IT DUN BE TRUUUUUUUUEEE!

Braeburn: -Puts his arms around his family- Well, y'all...ah reckon it's time ta trade peacocks with the High Cotton...-Braeburn leads him and his family to the Bar's door. He opens the door, letting Happy in, but punches Applejack in the face, and drags her inside, closing the door

-The same DJ table from last week rises up, along with the same intro-

DJ Zema Ion: Ladies and gentleman, you all know me! I'm the hottest record spinner since Mr. Electric HIMSELF! DEEEEEEEEJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY..ZEEEEEEMMMAAAAA...IIIIOOOON! But tonight, I'm takin' a break from the scratcha-lastic lifestyle...and I'm steppin' foot...into that SQUARED...CIIIRRRCCCCCLLLLEEEE! And now, let me proudly present to YOU...my tag team partner...-the beat drops- one of the factoring reasons why the divorce rate in Equestria rises more and more every day...NEEEEEOOOOOONNNNNN...LIIIGGGGHHHTS!

-Neon and Zema brofist. Zema sets off the basketball buzzer, and he jumps over the mixing table. He and Neon dive into the ring, fistpumping.

Ahuizotl: These guys are EXTREMELY antagonizing...

Garble: You just have NO CLUE on how to be HIP. -Jumps onto the table, and fistpumps with the DJ'ing duo.- OHOHOH!

Ahuizotl: I don't know how to be HIP, but I do find you trying yourself to be HUMERUS.

Garble: -Sits back down- Oh you're a horrible person...

Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show.... -Crowd cheers-

Announcer: And THEIR OPPONENT...at a combined weight of 421 POOOOUUNNDSSS-representing THE ODDITIES...the team of CLIP CLOP, and "THE PROFESSSOORRRR"...BILL...NEEEEEEIIGGGGH!

Ahuizotl: Now THESE guys are a FUN group. Boisterous, lovable-

Garble: Disgraceful?

Ahuizotl: That's how I would describe YOU.

Garble: -Smirks- Thanks for the compliment. Midnight Strike's an interesting case, though, and we now know WHY she hangs out with these freaks.

Ahuizotl: Her interview on Backstage Fallout was VERY interesting, and it's great to see that unknown side of her. She says the male members of the Oddities CAN wrestle, and I'm looking forward to seeing if Midnight is correct.

Garble: Well, she knows them better than anybody. I guess we'll find out.

Match 1: Clip Clop & Bill Neigh vs Zema Ion & Neon Lights

-Clip Clop and Bill Neigh are having a ball in the ring. When the bell rings, though, they stare a HOLE through their opponents.-

Ahuizotl: And the dancing has ceased...

Garble: All of a sudden...the Oddities faces do NOT look pleasant...

-Neon is surprised by this, but not intimidated. He runs at Clip Clop, but gets taken down to the mat with a headbutt to the gut. The crowd cheers-

Garble: YE-OUCH! He just RAMMED his own head into the abdomen of Neon Lights!

Ahuizotl: Neon may want to tag out...and SOON.

-8 minutes later-

-DJ Zema Ion jumps off the top rope for a double axe handle, but he gets caught in mid-air by Clip Clop. Clip Clop rears back, and then TOSSES Zema into the air with a T-Bone suplex-

Garble: It's only a matter of time before the tag team debut of the Oddities ends in SUCCESSION.

-Out of nowhere, Cloudchaser jumps onto the apron, and vies for Clip Clop's attention-

Ahuizotl: Where in the HELL did SHE come from?

Garble: Anywhere she wants...-begins to drool-...however, I don't know WHY she's out here...

-The referee goes over to admonish Cloudchaser and get her away from the ring. Cloudchaser puts one of her legs on the middle rope, and pulls her skirt up a bit. Intrigued, the referee remembers why Equestria is the greatest place in the world. Clip Clop, in addition, is pulled out of the ring by Horsepower, and rammed into the barricade with an exuberant amount of force. Bill Neigh takes him out with a dropkick to the floor below, but he is soon stunned by a lowblow from Flitter.-

Ahuizotl: CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS MATCH HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED?! I'M LEGITIMATELY CURIOUS.

Garble: I'm just wondering where Rumble is...

-With all the strength she can muster, Flitter manages to pick up the 280 pound clown and roll him back into the ring. Meanwhile, Midnight Strike has gotten this match back on track by grabbing Cloudchaser's skirt and flinging her off of the apron, causing her to hit the back of her head on the announce table cover.-

Garble: Oh no! I hope she's okay!

Ahuizotl: Seems like she doesn't UNDERSTAND wrestling, I'd say...don't be in places you SHOULDN'T be. Sound familiar?

Garble: Nope. Not one bit.

-As Bill Neigh continues to hold his nether region on the ground, Midnight begins to chase Flitter. Midnight runs into the waiting arms of Horsepower. Horsepower chucks Midnight into the barricade, as the crowd boos immensely.-

Ahuizotl: OH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! WHY?!

Garble: Okay, THAT's not fucking cool...

Ahuizotl: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T! WHAT MAKES THIS PLAUSIBLE TO ANYTHING?!

-The other members of the Oddities, Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly chase Cloudchaser and Flitter away and then beat down Horsepower on the other side of the ring. He can't take on both of them.-

Garble: Good! Kick his ass!

-Meanwhile, in the ring, Neon Lights Oklahoma Rolls Clip Clop, and grabs a handful of his colorful singlet.-

Ahuizotl: No! NOT THIS WAY!

1...2...3! -The crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: WHY?! WHY?! I REPEAT TO THE GODS ABOVE...WHY?!

Garble: I don't understand what this has to do with Rumble's match with Overdrive at Proving Ground...

Announcer: -Solemnly- Here are your winners...DJ Zema Ion...and Neon Lights... -Neon and Zema quickly run to the back to avoid the force of an irate stable-

-Dance Fever and Hugh Jelly help up Bill Neigh, and all three go over to check on Midnight. Clip Clop soon realizes what happened, and he goes outside to tear apart the ring-side set. Steel steps are thrown, the announce table is chucked into the ring, and the hammer is even ripped off of the ring-bell prop.-

Ahuizotl: What does Rumble have against The Oddities?! WHO COULD HATE THE ODDITIES?! THIS WAS THEIR DEBUT MATCH! THEY WERE GOING TO WIN, AND THOSE SHE-DEVILS AND HORSEPOWER SCREWED THEM!

Garble: I agree with you ALL the way...if anything, Midnight should NOT have been put into the cross-fire of it...what if this isn't Rumble's doing, though?

Ahuizotl: I don't see how it COULDN'T be! He obviously thinks he RUNS this entire show! Well SCREW that sawed-off little PRICK!

Garble: In any event, I meant what I said earlier tonight...when you put your hands on a woman, you'd BETTER be ready to have all the hands around you put on YOURSELF...whether Rumble put Horsepower and the Roses up to this or not, doesn't matter...they all better WATCH their back...

-The crowd chants "ODD-I-TIES" as Hugh Jelly carries his girlfriend to the back, all of the other Oddities, especially Clip Clop, pissed off as they are not far behind.-

*Back at Squilliam's Serene...*

Braeburn: What in TARRRNAATTTIIIOOONNN do y'all mean ya don't have any-

Happy: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE?

Braeburn: HEG-xactly!

Squilliam: I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen, but we don't exactly cater to the -snickers-...COMMON FOLK around here! -Squilliam does his signature "HEH A-HEH" laugh as all the other penny-pushers laugh with him-

Random snob: I say...

Random snob #2: Good show! -He golf claps at the Cricket match on the big-screen TV above him-

Braeburn: -Grabs Squilliam's robe- Lookie 'ere mister...ah dun need ta make mah cousin Applejack drunk-as-HAAAAAYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEEEEE so ah's can FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK her!

Squilliam: May I direct you to Florida? Not only is gay marriage legal there, but so is same-family marriage-

-Braeburn hoists Squilliam onto the bar-counter, and runs him down the entirety of it, causing bottles of numerous fancy liquors to strike his body and crack-

Braeburn: -Gets right in his face- Ah didn't wanna murry mah cousin...
Happy: HE JUST WANTED TA HAVE SEX WIT'ER YA HEAR?! -Smashes a bottle of Dom. Romane Conti over his head-

Braeburn: -Pats Happy on the shoulder- Y'all made this octopus as useless as tits on a bull...

Happy: HYUK, HYUK THANKS, COOOOOUUUUSSSSSIIIIINNNNNNN!

Braeburn: -Begins to drag the still unconscious Applejack by her ponytail- COOOOOMMEEEEON APPLEJACK YOU DUMB BIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH! -They all three leave the club-

Squilliam: -Groggy, if not disoriented- Aaaaappleloosa is the fanciest town in Equestria, and it does not suck eggs...-passes out from excessive blood loss-

Random snob: I say!

Random snob #2: Good show...-golf claps-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from LOOONEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing 138 POOOUUNDSSS...accompanied by LYYYRAAA...BOOOONNN BOOOOONNNN!

Garble: -Speaking gravely- Well, here comes Bon Bon...she's known for making some of the tastiest candy in Lonevyille, and-hey...you alright, 'Zotl?

Ahuizotl: -Looking down at the desk- Just trying to keep my composure...

Garble: -Frowns- I know you're pissed, man...I am too. But we HAVE to do our jobs. Can you tell us about Lyra?

Ahuizotl: -Perks up, but only slightly- Fine. Well, Lyra is...excitable, I guess you could say. She has a strange obsession with...corgis.

Garble: -Snorts- The dog?

Ahuizotl: That's what she told me. She sometimes wishes she could BE a corgi.

Garble: There sure are some strange characters on Lunacy...and, what is the relationship between Bon Bon and Lyra? Lyra seemed pretty protective of her in that battle royal.

Ahuizotl: Well, they're an item. Together.

Garble: OOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh...nice!

Ahuizotl: Contain yourself.

Garble: Lesbians are the greatest gift this Earth was ever given, was all I was going to say. As long as they're happy.

I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no li-IES... -SUCH BOO. MUCH HATE-

Announcer: NOPE. -Jumps over the barricade to go and take a bathroom break-

Ahuizotl: If only WE could take a bathroom break...

Garble: Who's to say we CAN'T? -Jumps over the barricade-

Ahuizotl: Where are you going? -Looks to see Twist twerking over to his position- MOMMY 'ZOTL HELP ME-EEEEEEEE! -Runs TOWARDS the barricade, crashing through it. Doesn't stop-

-Lyra puts on gloves and a gas-mask and throws the still-dancing Twist into the ring before she starts doing the Seductive-Macarena on the announce table-

The commentary for this match will be provided by-Oh fuck all of our sponsors left NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Match 2: Bon Bon vs Twist

-Twist tries a different technique she hasn't done yet...try to entrance her opponent by grinding her hips up on them. Unfortunately, right when Twist is about to start, she notices that Bon Bon isn't wearing a gas-mask or gloves, but a full-blown contamination-suit.

Twist: Oh...THUCK. -Even so, Twist's body WILL NOT let her walk away. Something inside her body caresses her, takes her out to dinner, and whispers when they're in the bed "Dance Twist...you only know one move, and suck at it, but DANCE you Swedish Whore!" So yeah Twist back-pedals up against Bon Bon, and is immediately grabbed and hit with her finisher, The Candy Wrapper!-

1...2...3! -The crowd couldn't cheer enough, as coincidentally enough, Ahuizotl, Garble, and the Announcer are back right as the bell rings.-

Announcer: Here is YOUR WINNER...BOOOOON BOOOOOOON!

Garble: -Putting his headset back on- Ahhh...what'd I miss?

Ahuizotl: How should I know? I was in there with you!

Garble: Oh yeah...hey, just like your eyes, your balls are pretty close together. Makes you look pretty small.

Ahuizotl: That's not what your mother said...

Garble: WHOA EASY THERE LET'S GROW UP A LITTLE BIT HUH?

-Lyra happily jumps in the ring as Bon Bon takes off her suit. Lyra grabs Bon Bon, dips her, and plays some Japanese tongue-croquette with her. Some men in the crowd wolf-whistle while all the rest cheer.-

Ahuizotl: -Wide eyes- I'm not small anymore...

Garble: For the first time ever...Twist's theme fits.

-konyy2k has the "Forever Alone" face on in the crowd, as he chants "WE WANT DARING" sadly. He soon begins to sob as he realizes he's a virgin who will never know a woman's touch.-

-A promo begins, showing Overdrive in an abandoned Ford chop-shop in Detroit-

This is where they made me...made me for battle...

Cars were their specialty...and I was their prototype...

Turns out I was the only one they ever made.

-The promo shows Overdrive quickly sprinting up a flight of stairs, as well as jumping rope in a hall-way. It's all being shot in grayscale vision.-

So I couldn't afford to disappoint...

Or else they'd shut me down.

And I'd never get to realize my FULL potential...

Then, the economy went to HELL...

The shop closed down. Thousands of jobs were lost...

I was forgotten...left to fight my own battles...

Left to prove I wasn't just some useless hunk of metal...

-A robotic voice speaks: INITIATING...BEAST MODE.-

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

-The promo moves to show us Overdrive training hard. He terrorizes a sack of flour, he runs along the railroad tracks with an anchor over his shoulder, and he climbs a rope that begins deep underwater with cinder blocks tied to his feet.-

I wasn't created for any specific purpose...

I have no special powers...

But now I've found my purpose...

To use my heart, determination, and training to make it in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

I've found my powers...

I've found...my home.

-The promo climaxes with Overdrive walking through the factory. The power is still working.-

My name...is Overdrive...and I'm tired of collecting rust.

-The robotic voice speaks again: TURNING OFF CONNECTION TO POWER...-

-One by one, each light goes out until it is pitch dark in the factory. The clanking of Overdrive's metallic boots cease as he stops walking. He takes a glance behind, and his red eye from the metallic side of his helmet glows.-

-One last time, the robotic voice speaks: ENGAGING...DOMINANCE. On the screen, the caption "Overdrive. In Action. Next" appears in Crimson Red form.-

*Commercial*

-As we return, Featherweight is already in the ring, pacing in place. He faces the crowd behind him, and throws his arms up in the air, getting a decent reaction.-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on Monday Night Lunacy, and are getting set for a match featuring the man who will face Rumble at Proving Grounds...Overdrive.

Garble: And I do NOT feel happy for that scrawny young kid in the ring...

All my life I've been searching for something.... -There are some noticeable cheers, but mostly boos from the audience-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd, his opponent! From The Steel Ciiittttyy...weighing 253 POOOOUUUNNDSSS...OVVVVVVEERRRDRRRIIVVVVVEEEEEE!

Garble: This man is a MACHINE. LITERALLY. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with him two weeks ago when he essentially DOMINATED Horsepower.

Ahuizotl: You and me both. The man has ALL the tools to be the Champion of Carnage. I can't see how Rumble is going to beat him for that title, honestly.

Garble: It'll be an up-hill battle, but I still believe in Rumble!

Match 3: Overdrive vs Featherweight

Garble: This is basically a tune-up match for Overdrive, but for his opponent, Featherweight, it could mean SO much more...

Ahuizotl: Correct. Featherweight wants to succeed in this business, too, just like everybody else. He doesn't have a contract yet, though. A win over a number 1 contender like Overdrive could not only get him that contract, but also put him at the top of the leaderboard to challenge whoever becomes champion at Proving Grounds.

Garble: If you people think 192 pounds of Rumble is SMALL, then what about 146 pounds of FEATHERWEIGHT?

Ahuizotl: Well, why do you think his name is FEATHERWEIGHT? At least he weighs more than any of the women on our roster.

-Overdrive extends his hand, but is met with a slap to the face by Featherweight. Most of the crowd may not like Overdrive, but they KNOW how shitty of an idea that was.-

Garble: What in the world is this kid doing...?

Ahuizotl: He must be too much of a wuss to commit suicide.

Garble: Well, Overdrive better not be charged with killing this kid here tonight. The kid was asking for it!

-Featherweight jumps into the air, throwing his arms up in a celebratory manner.-

Featherweight: YEEEEEEAAAAAAH! -He pounds his chest. His seizure is cut short by a clothesline from Overdrive. Featherweight oversells it by doing a backflip before hitting the mat belly-first.-

Ahuizotl: OOOOOOH! Overdrive just turned poor Featherweight inside out!

Garble: "POOR"? He DESERVED it!

-Overdrive cracks his neck, and begins to work on Featherweight.-

*3 minutes later*

-Featherweight begins to crawl up Overdrive's kneepads slowly and with not much life left in him.-

Ahuizotl: Could Overdrive be showing mercy?

Garble: No way! He's been decimating this pipsqueak since he slapped him for no good reason. He's just toying with him.

-When Featherweight gets to Overdrive's tights, Overdrive SHOVES Featherweight into the ropes, and levels him with a Scoop Powerslam on the bounce!-

Garble: He hits it! The move he beat Horsepower with!

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Overdrive...once again in impressive fashion, builds momentum to Proving Grounds!

-Trending now on Twitter: "#WeWantDaring", "#DaringRevolution", "Twilight Sparkle" and "#StupidSexyCloudchaser"-

Garble: I'm beginning to see it your way, 'Zotl...how CAN Rumble beat Overdrive?

-We meet back up with Braeburn, Happy Trails, and Applejack at "The Wet Sardine" diner on the outskirts of Canterlot.-

Happy Trails: -Banging his fork and knife against the table like a little kid- AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS! AH WANT CHEESY TATER TOTS!

Braeburn: Will YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU SHUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP?

Happy: Che-

Braeburn: NO.

Happy: CHE-

Braeburn: AH DUN THINK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOUSIIIINNNNNNNNN. If ah couldn't get mah MOOOOOOOOONNNNNN-SHIIIIIIIINNNNNNE, than y'all ain't gettin' whatever y'all want!

-The waitress walks up to their table-

Waitress: Hello, darlings. I'm Cherry Jubilee, and I'll be y'all's waitress for this evening! Can I start y'all off with some ref- -Cherry notices the knocked out Applejack hunched over in her booth seat- Ummm...sugs'...is she alright?

Braeburn: Y'ALL DUN NEED TA WORRY 'BOUT APPLEJACK NOW SHE'S JUST A DUMB BEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH.

Happy: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! What a DUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB fuckin' cunt.

Cherry's mind: -Sigh-...not THESE kind'a folk again...

Cherry: -Puts on the best fake grin she can- Wwwwwweeeelllll...what can I get for y'all FIIIINNNEEEEE people today?

Happy: HUR HUR AH DUN WANT CHEESY TATER TO- -Braeburn sticks the toothbrush he uses to wipe the mud off of his boots into Happy's mouth-

Braeburn: Jus' get us all some BIIIIIIISSSSSCCCCCUUUUUUIIIITTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS n' gravy, toots! -Smacks Cheery's ass-

Cherry: -Barely keeps her composure, her teeth being ground up like coffee wait wut analogy- Three biscuits and gravies comin' RIIIGGGHHTTTT up, sugs'...-starts walking off, mumbling- And I'll be sure to get y'all a nice tall glass of MANNERS, too...

Braeburn: Cousin Happeh...what in Nickelback's armpit are y'all doin'...?

Happy: -Pouring a bottle of ketchup onto his head- HUR HUR...AH DUN SAW A SKUNK EARLIER, COUSIN BRRRRRRRAAAAAEEEEBBBBBUUUUURRRRN! GOTTA GET THE STTTTTTTTTTAAAAAANNNNNNNNKKKKK OUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

*Commercial*

*Interview Area*

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman, I am standing by with the BroMans- -Shining Armor and Flash Sentry put their arms around his shoulders, shaking furiously. The interviewer laughs at their antics-...Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry! Shining, how are you feeling after that heinous attack at the hands of Snips & Snails a few weeks ago?

Shining: Well, *REDACTED*...apparently those two ARE calling themselves SLIME officially-

Flash: And it FITS!

Shining: -Nods- It absolutely does. Snips and Snails are in fact nothing but grotesque and vile little rats, and when someone attempts to corner them, they'll just OOOOZZEEE right into the manhole.

Flash: Nice symbolism!

Shining: As far as my...-points to his head, as he still has the bandage- injury...I am recovering, but the doctors have stated I will not be able to compete until Proving Grounds.

Interviewer: Wait...you'll be competing at Proving Grounds?

Shining: Not just me, but Flash as well.

Flash: Hi! -Waves at the camera-

Shining: General Manager Luna has given us a match with the men who TRIED to take me out...

Flash: But FAILED!

Shining: ...Snips and Snails, or SLIME if they prefer. It will be a tornado tag team match; nobody tags in, nobody tags out, and with both me AND Flash in the ring at the same time...SLIME will not be able to slither away.

Interviewer: That sounds like it will be a hell of a match-up! One last question, Shining...do you care to comment on the situation with Cadance and Sunset Shimmer?

-Flash turns to glare at Shining Armor. He has his arms crossed-

Flash: Yeah, man...what's going on between you and my girlfriend?

Shining: -Sigh- Nothing, dude...look, I'm with Cadance...THAT'S my girl. I know the boundaries one should not cross when it comes to women, and taking your best friend's girl? It's not one of them. Sunset Shimmer wants to kick my girl's ass on a weekly basis, and I get that; women FIGHT. But your girl is targeting ME in the process.

Flash: -Frowns and scratches the back of his neck- Yeah...sorry about that. Sunny kind of...does what she wants...

Shining: Well, you need to keep a handle on her. I am NOT losing Cadance to this BULLSHIT. Talk to her, because Cadance is starting to get suspicious...

Flash: I-...I will, man. Don't you worry. I'll get this ALL sorted out. Now, how about we go get some Tacos?

Shining: Fine. You driving? -They start to walk off-

Flash: -Laughing- What? Concussions impair your steering ability, too?

Shining: -Chuckling- Shut up, man...

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, gentlemen...

*The whirring of a drill*

Garble: JESUS JUMP-SCARE!

Ahuizotl: I'm not sure whose more scary...Twist...or COLGATE...

Garble: One pulls teeth, and one pulls...odd thoughts into your mind?

Ahuizotl: Good enough!

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first...from LONEYVILLE...weighing 132 POOOOUUNNDSSS...COOOLLLLGAAAATTEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Last week, Colgate was successful against Twist-

Garble: Of course she was! Twist SUCKS. Colgate DRILLS.

Ahuizotl: Nice one, boy. Tonight, however...Colgate faces a more DAUNTING task...

*REDACTED THEME* (LUL more daunting opponent = NO THEME lul) -Crowd cheers-

Garble: Wow...you weren't kidding.

Announcer: Aaaaaannndddd HER OPPONENT! From LOOONNEYYVVIILLEE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSSS...RAAAARRIITTTTTTYYYYY!

Garble: Rarity, who put on a near STELLAR performance in the battle royal two weeks ago, and who nearly won the opportunity to face Lightning Dust for her championship, makes her debut in singles action tonight.

Ahuizotl: She has an eye for fashion, as well as an eye for competition. Colgate may not have such an easy time this go-a-round in the ring...

-Rarity does not look intimidated, as she stares off with Colgate-

Garble: This is gonna be good...

Match 4: Rarity vs Colgate

-23 minutes-

-After 23 minutes of action, Colgate has kicked out of two of Rarity's finishers, 3 of her signatures, and eaten a DDT onto the apron. Rarity on the other hand, has kicked out of one of Colgate's "BRUSH, RINSE, REPEAT" finishers, a high impact powerbomb off of the top rope, and a curb-stomp. On top of all of that, it's just been an AWESOME match. All of the multiple near-falls have made the crowd shocked because often times, they didn't think either wrestler would could out. This match has played with their emotions.-

Crowd: THIS IS AWES-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*! THIS IS AWE-SOME *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*!

Ahuizotl: These two women have put their heart and SOUL into this match-up, and the fans are SHOWING their appreciation!

Garble: As far as it goes for Rarity, anybody who says that "prissy clothes designers" can't FIGHT...you're DAMN WRONG. The ruthlessness of Colgate, and the technical prowess of Rarity...makes for the best match on the card! I GUARANTEE it!

-Rarity connects with a northern lights suplex.-

Ahuizotl: Will THIS be it?!

1...2...-At the very last second, Colgate inches her right arm out, and JAMS her hand into Rarity's mouth. The crowd cannot contain themselves, and go WILD at this counter.-

Garble: No! Rarity kicks out-HOLY HELL! COLGATE LOCKS IN THE "ROOT CANAL"! IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

Ahuizotl: This is the move that made blood OOZE out of Twist's mouth last week!

Garble: All she does is just YANK at her opponent's teeth! It's so simple, but it makes you CRINGE just watching it!

Crowd: RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY! RAR-I-TY!

-Rarity squirms and writhes in pain, desperately trying to make it to the ropes. Colgate notices this, and uses her legs to clench Rarity's anxious arms against her thighs to prevent the possibility of the rope-break. Colgate also moves the finisher into a seated position.-

Garble: Oh the ring awareness of Colgate is UNBELIEVABLE!

Ahuizotl: CAN RARITY MAKE IT OUT?

-With no hope of making it to the ropes, and no hope of escaping, Rarity taps like a mad-man-

Ahuizotl: She couldn't make it! She had to tap if she wanted to keep her molars!

Announcer: Here is your winner...COLGAATTEEE...

Garble: What an absolutely SPECTACULAR match! Even in defeat, there were many times in this match that I thought Colgate was DONE! The same could be said from Rarity! She hung on as LONG as she could!

-Colgate tries to do more damage, but the referee forces her out of the ring. Colgate lightly kicks Rarity in the head on her way out of the ring. The fans continue to give a standing ovation to both Colgate and Rarity, as we cut backstage to see Diamond Tiara, with her neckbrace still intact, Silver Spoon, and Turf walking backstage.-

Garble: And it seems that The Mean Girls will be making their way to the ring. And if I'm not mistaken, apparently they are going to call out Scootaloo...

Ahuizotl: With a vengeful Diamond Tiara out for Scootaloo's hide, it really wouldn't be too wise for Scootaloo to meet them in the ring. Non-the-less, that is NEXT...

*Commercial*

-We cut back to the ring, where The Mean Girls are already there as their music continues to play. All three have a mic.-

Crowd: HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* HOW'S YOUR NE-ECK? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: So rude...right after they show respect to Colgate and Rarity, they blatantly DISRESPECT the QUEEN here in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

Ahuizotl: No, they're actually being QUITE thoughtful! They're asking how Diamond Tiara's neck is!

Garble: WELL IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD IF SHE STILL HAS A GOD-DAMN NECKBRACE ON!

Diamond: -Scoffs- Not this again...do you people have ANY sympathy in your fat and disgusting bodies? -Crowd boos-

Turf: YEAH! Show DT some respect before I MAKE YA!

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Garble: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! How hostile...

-Turf begins kicking the ring-ropes in utter rage-

Diamond: Just ignore them, girl. The only thing they're accomplishing is showing just how CLASSLESS they can be...-more boos- Onto more IMPORTANT things...after my...misfortunate fall into the barricade last week...thanks to -growls- TWILIGHT SPARKLE! The recovery process in my neck WAS stalled a bit. Too bad for you...now you won't get to see me in action until further notice...

Silver Spoon: It's okay, though, Diamond! We're like, here to get the job done and all those other cliche Action movie tropes.

Diamond: -Smirks- I know you are, Silver Spoon...and I know you and Turf WON'T let me down...

Turf: HELL no, DT! We're your besties, and besties ALWAYS stick together! -The three share a group hug-

Garble: -Sniffles- It's so beautiful...-blows his nose-

Crowd: KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

Garble: And the crowd ruins the moment...

Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky... -The hug breaks, and Diamond Tiara stomps her feet. The fans cheer-

Garble: CAN'T ANYBODY AROUND HERE LET A MOMENT GO ON?!

Ahuizotl: Scootaloo has been FALSELY targeted by these three since the inception of Lunacy, but Scootaloo has been able to take EVERYTHING they've thrown at her, and she's become a fan favorite because of it!

-Scootaloo smiles out at the crowd, as chants of "SCOOTALOO" reign supreme. Scootaloo already has a mic, and she gets in the ring.-

Scootaloo: I hate to breakup this little love fest you've three got going on, but I just HAD to stop it all before I THREW up! -Cheers-

Diamond: Speaking of THROW-UP, it's good that your VOMIT colored body is out here, because The Mean Girls actually have an ANNOUNCEMENT to make!

Scootaloo: What? You're retiring?

Diamond: -Narrows eyes- You wish...n-

Scootaloo: You're posing for Playboy?

Diamond: -Points out at the crowd- THEY wish!

Garble: I WISH!

-Silver Spoon gets a creepy face at the possibility of Diamond Tiara being in Playboy. Turf glares at her with a raised eyebrow-

Diamond: NO! As Princess Luna said earlier, there are still CHAMPIONS that need to be crowned. Notice the "s" at the end of CHAMPION. Lunacy needs TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. And...unlike ALL OF YOU -gestures to the crowd-, Princess Luna knows TALENT when she sees it...

Scootaloo: Yeah...I guess I AM pretty talented, aren't I?

Turf: NOT YOU, BITCH! US! Me and SILVER SPOON! WE'RE the premier tag team in the EWF, and she has given us the chance to become the Chick Combo champions at Proving Grounds.

Scootaloo: Good for you? I don't get how I fit into this...

Diamond: Of COURSE you don't...for snooping around in the H.B.I.C.'s business, Princess Luna decided to reward YOU too...

Scootaloo: You mean...I'll get that opportunity, too?

Diamond: Unfortunately. It's pretty unfair. I bet you're SO proud of yourself...you've inspired everybody to think that if they interject themselves into any situation they want, they can get the same reward as those who WORKED for it.

Scootaloo: Worked for it? None of you three have even won a MATCH yet! I've BEATEN all THREE of you!

Turf: -Lunges at Scootaloo, but gets held back by Silver Spoon- YOU WON'T BE BRAGGING AFTER PROVING GROUNDS, YOU ORANGE WHORE!

Scootaloo: -Smirks- Your insults stopped hurting me LONG ago...

Diamond: We know...that's why wrestling is PERFECT for us. If our words fail, we always have the right to hurt you with ACTIONS. -Giggles evilly-

Scootaloo: -Waves this threat off- Hold on, though...how can I challenge for the tag team titles? I don't have a partner...

Diamond: That's what we're confused about, as well. The only way you could face my bitches is if you had a partner of your own, and your other LOSER friends are on Sublime...you'd have to find a TOTALLY different partner.

Silver Spoon: And, like, let's face it...who would want to team up with YOU? -Diamond Tiara snorts, and Turf and Silver Spoon guffaw-

*GLASS SHATTERS* -The crowd pops, and the Mean Girls' laughter stops as they and Scootaloo turn to the stage-

Garble: That's...Berry Punch?!

Ahuizotl: Does she want to Scootaloo's PARTNER?

-Berry Punch struts to the ring in her black leather jacket. She works all four turnbuckles, throwing up her middle fingers. After the last turnbuckle, she comes by and SWIPES Silver Spoon's microphone out of her hand. The crowd cheers. Silver Spoon gasps, and the other Mean Girls do NOT look impressed. Berry Punch stands by Scootaloo.-

Berry Punch: So...I hear you're looking for a tag team partner? -She looks at Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: I guess I'd need one to compete for the titles.

Berry: Well I'll be DAMNED-you've found one! -Crowd cheers, as the Mean Girls laugh-

Diamond: Uhum...EXCUSE me, but THAT'S HILARIOUS! You're going to team up with the locker room's DRUNK? -More laughter-

Turf: I mean, YOU'RE a big enough loser, Scootaloo...but even YOU'VE got to have standards! Berry Punch?! That's the bottom of the ROSTER!

Berry: -Points- You shut your damn mouth you poofy-haired bitch. -Crowd erupts in cheers-

Scootaloo: -Leans in to Berry Punch- I'd rather have my eyes jabbed out than agree with them, but, they DO have a point, Berry Punch...in your debut match you...passed out and lost. How can I count on you to help me win the titles?

Berry: Because I'm "Marble Cold" Berry Punch, that's why! I'm the toughest D.O.B in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation! I beat the wigs off people. I'm bad news. I'm worth the time. I'm an ass-kicker. I'm the only hope you've got, so ya might as well take it, or I'll leave ya to get your ass kicked! Do you accept my partnership?

Scootaloo: I've done fine by myself so far...but being a champion is what I came to the EWF for...could you just PROVE to me what you bring to the table first?

Berry: Well, hot-damn...thanks for forgetting everything I just said-but FINE...-darts her eyes back and forth between Silver Spoon and Turf. She finally points at Silver Spoon- YOU. I'll snap your spine in half, and use you to stir my damn Cheerios. -Crowd cheers- You come out here with your big damn reading glasses. Your little pink braid in your lint-colored hair. I mean HELL, I find lint looking like your hair in my belly-button. -Silver Spoon starts to become agitated- Your gaudy pearl necklace, that's probably made from blue Sixlets. Your ugly-ass purple boots, with a little blue bow-tie strapped to each one. I mean damn...I know more about fashion than you, ya dumb bitch. You wanna come out here and INSULT...Marble Cold Berry Punch...with your mere existence? How about I stomp a dirt-hole in your ass, and WALK IT DRY? -Crowd cheers-

Silver Spoon: -Undoing her braid- YOU'RE ON!

Berry: ...Well alright. Scootaloo, watch with your damn eyes. You two hussies -points at Turf and Diamond Tiara- Get your asses out of Marble Cold's ring, or I'll beat the EVER-LOVING hell out of ALL your asses!

-Turf, out of concern for Diamond Tiara's well-being, leaves the ring with her. Scootaloo leaves too, and Silver Spoon gets in Berry Punch's face-

Silver Spoon: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I'LL BEAT YOU SO BAD, YOU'LL WANT TO NEVER TEAM UP WITH SCOOTAL- -Berry Punch interrupts with a right hand, sending Silver Spoon tumbling in the turnbuckle. Berry Punch begins to kick her until she goes into a downed-position-

Garble: I guess that's what Berry Punch met by "stomping a dirt-hole"...she won't STOP!

Ahuizotl: And it looks like we've got an impromptu match on our hands!

Match 5: Silver Spoon vs Berry Punch

-10 minutes later-

-Berry Punch takes down Silver Spoon with a Uol Zseht Press, and a few punches. Turf gets on the ring apron.-

Ahuizotl: What is with women always wanting to interfere in these matches?

Garble: Women CRAVE attention, 'Zotl...you should know that.

Ahuizotl: Well, it's going to end up biting them on the ass!

-Berry sees this, grabs Silver Spoon, and Irish whips her. Turf doesn't see her fellow bitch coming towards her, as she is busy telling off the ref, so she can't move out of the way, and gets knocked down to the floor.-

Ahuizotl: I warned her...

Silver Spoon: I am SO SORRY!

-Berry waits for Silver Spoon-

Garble: You might not want to turn around!

-When Silver Spoon turns around, she is met with the middle fingers of Berry Punch. Berry kicks her in the gut, hooks her neck, and drives herself and her opponent down with The Bar Tab. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Now we've BOTH been right about something at least ONCE in this match!

1...2...3!

Garble: And Berry Punch...proves herself to be a WORTHY partner, and I KNOW I'm right about THAT!

Announcer: Here is YOUR WIINNNEERRR...BEEEEEERRRYYY...PUUUUNNCCCCHHHHH!

-Turf drags Silver Spoon out of the ring, and runs in. She tries to attack Berry Punch, but Berry was waiting for her, and takes her out with The Bar Tab! The crowd cheers even more.-

Ahuizotl: Turf tried to get the jump on an unsuspecting Berry Punch, but "Marble Cold" was INDEED waiting for her!

Garble: It's like she has eyes in the back of her head...

-Diamond Tiara screams outside the ring, as Scootaloo extends her hand. Berry soon shakes it-

Garble: It's official! At Proving Grounds, the vacant Chick Combo titles will be ON THE LINE, as Turf and Silver Spoon, face off against the BRAND NEW tag team...Of Scootaloo and Berry Punch!

-Berry Punch gestures to the timekeeper, and gets a few beers thrown her way. She catches both.-

Ahuizotl: And now...it's time for a little CELEBRATION!

-Berry offers a beer to Scootaloo, but she grimaces and puts her hands up-

Garble: Surely she knows Scootaloo is under-aged...

-Berry Punch shrugs, and downs both beers at the same time-

Ahuizotl: This team may have came out of nowhere, but it still looks pretty formidable...I'd be worried if I were The Mean Girls!

Garble: Diamond Tiara is the greatest manager, though. Turf and Silver Spoon are in good hands...

-The graphic for our main event tag team match pops up. Twilight, Cadance, Sunset, and Lightning are all in determined poses. The phrase "NEXT" lies under it.-

*Commercial*

*Back at the Diner...*

-Cherry Jubilee returns with Braeburn's, Happy Trails' and Applejack's biscuits and gravy-

Cherry: Enjoy your meal...-sets the plates down-

Happy: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

-Braeburn and Happy get out of their booth, and do a country jig, they sing-

Braeburn and Happy: BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVYYYYYYYY...MADE ME A MAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH BISCUITS N' GRRRRRRRAAAAAAVVVVVVV-YYYYYYYY...MADE ME ALL THAT AH AM!

-Cherry walks away, rolling her eyes. The cousins sit back down at their booth-

Happy: Hey, cos! -Points at Braeburn's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Braeburn: SUURRRRRRRREEEEEE AMMMMMMMMMMM! -Points at Happy's plate- Y'all gon' EEEEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT that?

Happy: Yup!

Braeburn: ...-Angry face- AH HATE YOU.

Happy: AH HATE YOU TOO.

-Braeburn grabs Happy in a headlock, and forces him out of the booth and to the floor. They immediately start hitting each other.-

Braeburn: AH'M GON' BEAT THE SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT OUTTA YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!

Happy: FUCK YOU, COS! FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK Y'AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

-Braeburn kicks Happy in the gut, and runs out of the dinner with him on his tail. Happy soon tackles Braeburn outside-

Happy: AH'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Braeburn: YUR A PIECE'A SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, COOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!

Happy: YUR A BIGGER PIECE'A SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

-They continue fighting on the ground, as the scene fades out-

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -Crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: It's time...for our MAIN EVENT of the evening!

Spike: The following TAG TEEAAAM contest...is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...at a combined weight...of 272 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAANNCCEEE...AND TWWIIILLLIIGGHHTTT...SPPPPAARRRKKLLLEEEEE!

Garble: I can only IMAGINE what is going to happen when we put two of the biggest rivalries in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation in ONE MATCH!

Ahuizotl: A nuclear-like explosion at best, boy. Sunset Shimmer and Cadance have put each other through HELL these past few weeks...it's gotten more personal than we could've EVER imagined. Where-as Lightning Dust and Twilight have been in a war-of-words, is the best way to describe it. They each make great points, but at the end of the day, you win by besting your opponent in the ring...NOT on the mic.

Garble: Although it IS very cool when you can prove your opponent wrong...

Welcome to the Danger Zone! -The crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: Aaaanndddd...THEIR opponents...at a combined weight of 274 POOOOUUNNDSSS...the team of SUNSET SHIIMEERR...and the Women's Eteerrnaaallll...Woorrlddd CHHAAMMPPIOONN...LIIIGHTTTNNIIINNGGG DUUUUST!

-Cadance and Twilight cannot wait for their opponents to get to the ring. They escape the ring and meet Sunset and Lightning on the ring to brawl-

Ahuizotl: I told you! This arena will not be able to HANDLE these four in the ring at the same time! They're going to have to stay outside!

Garble: We've gotta get some order here!

Main Event: Twilight Sparkle and Cadance vs Lightning Dust and Sunset Shimmer

-26 minutes later-

-Lightning Dust Irish whips Cadance into her corner. Twilight slaps her shoulder, tagging herself in. Lightning runs at Cadance, and Cadance moves herself out of the way, sending Lightning crashing shoulder first into the ring-post. Twilight climbs the top rope, and jumps off, flips herself in mid-air, and grabs Lightning's trunks on the way down to put her into a pinning predicament-

1...2...-Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin by coming into the ring and dropkicking Twilight in the face. The crowd cheers-

Garble: And Sunset Shimmer breaks up the pin at the LAST second!

Ahuizotl: What a main event this has been!

-Cadance hits a running crossbody on Sunset by the ropes, sending them both over the top rope.-

Garble: Twilight and Lightning Dust are alone in the ring!

-Lightning Dust quickly gets up and goes for an enziguri, which misses. Twilight then attempts the Friendship Report report, which Lightning counters into an armdrag, sending Twilight into the corner. Lightning runs at Twilight in the corner fora Stinger Splash. Twilight moves, but instead of colliding with the turnbuckle, Lightning LEAPS onto it. The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: What a move by Lightning Dust to avoid contact with the turnbuckle!

Garble: That's why she's the champion...enough agility to power an Olympic track team!

-Lightning doesn't even need to look back as she leaps into the air for a Moonsault. Many camera were flashed that day as Twilight Sparkle moved at the last minute. The crowd "OOH's" and boos in response-

Ahuizotl: THAT WAS A PICTURE PERFECT MOONSAULT BY LIGHTNING DUST!

Garble: Complete with a picture perfect MISS! Can Twilight take advantage?

-Twilight quickly picks Lightning Dust up, and connects with the Take A Note!-

Garble: She does!

1...2...3! -The crowd could not boo any more.-

Ahuizotl: For the second week in a row...Twilight Sparkle has pinned the Eternal Women's Champion!

Garble: Talk about MOMENTUM.

Spike: Here are your WINNERS...CADANCE...and TWWWIILLIIGGHTTT SPPAARRKKLLEEEEEE! -The crowd continues to boo-

Crowd: Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS! Twilight SUCKS!

Ahuizotl: Yet another unpredictable night here at Lunacy...Twilight wins AGAIN. Can she win the Championship debate next week?

Garble: We shall see. Until next week...goodnight, jerks!

-The show ends with Twilight and Cadance hugging as Spike applauds. The crowd ends with one last "WE WANT DARING" chant-

*Meanwhile*

-Realization hits both Braeburn and Happy Trails. They cease fighting, and get up, dusting themselves off. After a few moments of looking deep into eachother's eyes...they hug, spewing manly tears simultaneously.-

Happy: AH-HA LOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE YOU, COOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Braeburn: -Sniffling uncontrollably- AH LOVE Y'ALL TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! -They break the hug-

Happy: -Pulls out of Roman Candle- Fuck Applejack...let's go git some MOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN-SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE!

Braeburn: HYUK, HYUK YEAH! She's a DUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB slut.

-Happy lights the Roman Candle, and chucks it at the diner. It soon goes off, and blows up the diner because Michael Bay-

Braeburn: Mama always said life was like a box'a Roman Can-dles...ya never know where yur gon' throw 'em...

Happy: -Wipes his eyes out- That'll do, cos...that'll do... -The two cousins put their arms around each other, and walk off into the sunset as the fire emanating from the diner crackles...like the biggest fireplace ever.-

*End Show*

Quick Results:

DJ Zema Ion and Neon Lights defeated Clip Clop and Bill Neigh (Interference from Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser)
Bon Bon defeated Twist (Pinfall)
Overdrive defeated Featherweight (Pinfall)
Colgate defeated Rarity (Submission)
Berry Punch defeated Silver Spoon (Pinfall)
Twilight Sparkle and Cadance defeated Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (Pinfall)

-Anon spots Berry Punch walking down the hall. He waits for her to stop.-

Anon: Berry Punch, I just wanted to get your thoughts on tonight's turn of events?

Berry: The hell you mean "turn of events"? I'm gonna get drunk off my ass and wake up in Nicaragua! THAT'S the Cold Marble way.

Anon: What I mean is, that...you took it upon YOURSELF to dub YOURSELF as Scootaloo's partner. Why?

Berry: Besides the obvious answer of "because I damn well can"...Scootaloo's stubborn. She doesn't wanna admit, that she needs help. With her friends fighting family and playing with their clits in the background on Sublime, someone unexpected had to step in. And that's "Cold Marble" Berry Punch! No one saw it coming. Did YOU see it coming?

Anon: I actually did not-

Berry: 'Course ya didn't! You think you know what's gonna happen on Sublime. Every damn scene you've got planned out. Hell, you're probably one of those "critics" that dubbed me an "irresponsible DRUNK."

Anon: Well, you DID pass out in your singles debut last we-

Berry: I understand THAT. I drank too much before my match. It was a bad move. GodDAMN I'm SORRY I've let you down...Mr. Cameraman. What are you gonna do? Put me in time-out? All I can do is watch that young girl's back. Because whether she wants to admit it or NOT...she damn well needs it. Diamond Tiara, her royal bitchiness, and all her little cunty comrades, can go around the Cul-De-Sac, and suck EVERY DAMN dick they want...because the team of Scootaloo...and the TOUGHEST D.O.B. in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, are gonna make them all wish that their daddies paid a little more attention to them as children. We're gonna walk in to Proving Grounds, RAISE SOME HELL, win the tag team titles, and CELEBRATE! I'll chug a beer..maybe two...maybe three, and I'll order a Pibb Xtra for the little devil herself-and that's all I got to say...about that-PUT IT ON MY TAB! -Struts off-

-As Berry Punch walks away, Anon tugs at his shirt nervously-

*Later*

-Anon walks into Princess Luna, looking to interview her. She's sitting at her desk.-

Luna: Oh...well, hello there, Anon. What brings you into my chamber?

Anon: Hi, Princess. I was just curious about your opinion on the way Lunacy is turning out-

-Anon is interrupted by the male members of the Oddities barging into the office-

Luna: Hang on, Anon...boys. I can probably gather why you're all here. On normal circumstances, I'd ask you to knock, but I know you're all very flustered right now.

Hugh Jelly: You're DAMN right we're flustered! My girlfriend's in the trainer's room right now! What are you going to do about this?!

Luna: What would you four PROPOSE I do?

Dance Fever: Hey, foxy woman...the boys think you should strip that bogue cat Rumble of his title shot...

Luna: -Blushes- I'm afraid we can't do that. Rumble EARNED his match against Overdrive. Not to mention...we're not even sure if Rumble put Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser up to what they did.

Bill Neigh: By my calculations, the chance of Rumble being INNOCENT...is a 1 in 50000000 chance.

Luna: We will talk to Rumble and his group, but do NOT be surprised if the "1" in your calculation proves correct, Bill.

-The Oddities groan-

Luna: We still believe we can present you with a chance at revenge. At Proving Grounds, Midnight will team up with...you Clip Clop, as well as...you, Hugh...to take on the team of Horsepower, Cloudchaser, and Flitter.

-The Oddities cheer-

Dance: Hey, that's bitchinnnnnnnnnn'...

Clip Clop: Thank you, Princess! We're sorry for bothering you!

Luna: Not a problem at all, boys. We'll get this sorted out.

-The Oddities file out of the office one at a time, chatting amongst themselves.-

Luna: -Turns to Anon- Now...could you repeat your question? We will be happy to answer-

-This time, Luna is interrupted by the dramatic entrance of a rolling Star Swirl into her office. He comes in like a tumbleweed, and crashes into the GM's desk-

Star Swirl: Hello, my sweet! -He speaks lovingly as he kips-up to his feet-

Luna: -Blushes- Star Swirl...we have company...-points at Anon-

Star Swirl: -Looks at Anon, and grins- Great! Then the WORLD can know of my demands...

Luna: -Raises an eyebrow- Which are...?

Star Swirl: I demand TELEVISION TIME!

Luna: -Chuckles- Oh, Star Swirl...is that all?

Star Swirl: -Nods repeatedly- I feel my presence would be an ASTOUNDING addition to the weekly telecasts...

Luna: Hmm...-ponders-...we believe we may have a spot for you on television.

Star Swirl: Really? TRULY?

Luna: -Nods- Yes, we most certainly do...it just came to us. We'll have to flesh it out to its full potential. -Looks at Anon- We apologize, Anon. We will have to conduct this interview at a later date. Me and Star Swirl must discuss some things.

Anon: No trouble at all, Princess. I understand. Good day to you, Star Swirl.

Star Swirl: Have a swell night, Anon!

-Anon walks out of the office, wondering what "plans" Luna has for Star Swirl.-

-The Sublime theme plays, pyrotechnics launch, and the crowd goes wild- (You know the drill)
Dr. Whooves: Welcome ladies in gentlemen to the third edition of Sublime. Tonight we are entering the second stage of the World Fighter's Championship tournament. Eight wrestlers remain but only four will continue to the semi-finals next week.
Discord: But even the losers get a consolation prize, the top ten wrestlers who failed the tournament get to fight in a Battle Royal for the International Championship at Proving Grounds.
Dr. Whooves: Let's not forget tonight's main event, a fatal four way between Big MacIntosh, Soarin, Thunderlane, and Steamer to determine who will be the World Brawler's Champion.
*Redacted Theme*
-Boos from the crowd as Babs Seed walks down the ramp-
Discord: And here comes the one who absolutely dominated Apple Bloom in last week's main event.
Dr. Whooves: Dominated? She would of lost that match if it wasn't for Commander Hurricane's bloody interference.
Discord: Minor details.
-Babs Seed climbs into the ring, crowd continues booing-
Babs Seed: That's right, go ahead and boo. I don't care what anyone thinks about it, I did what I had to do last week. I made my statement and finally earned some respect backstage. Sure Commander Hurricane gave me the opening I needed, but how was that my fault? It's Apple Bloom who bit off more than she could chew, she made enemies she just couldn't prepare for.
Dr. Whooves: Babs Seed seems to be forgetting it was she who started it.
*Redacted Theme*
-The crowd cheers as Sweetie Belle enters the arena-
Sweetie Belle: You think you're pretty hot stuff don't you? Coming out here and talking like the fight is already over. Well newsflash, you aren't in the green yet. Apple Bloom may be injured until Proving Grounds thanks to last week's match, but you still have me to deal with.
-Sweetie Belle starts approaching the ring-
Babs Seed: Pfffftt. I wasn't afraid of her why should I be afraid of you? You saw what happened to Apple Bloom, If I were you I'd just back off now before the same thing happens to me.
-Sweetie Belle enters the ring-
Sweetie Belle: Even if the same thing happens to me I'll do one thing Apple Bloom didn't, take you out with me.
-Sweetie Belle charges at Babs Seed and both end up tumbling over the ropes, they begin brawling outside the ring, Sweetie Bell pins Babs Seed down and starts punching her repeatedly but Babs Seed manages to poke her in the eyes and escape-
*Redacted Theme*
Discord: Interrupting a good brawl, Celestia is such a tease.
Dr. Whooves: Don't you mean GENERAL MANAGER Celestia?
Discord: Too formal. I know her way too well for that.
-Babs Seed and Sweetie Belle pause their fight while Celestia speaks-
Celestia: Far be it from me to interrupt such a good fight, but I'd hate to see a potential match wasted in the early minutes of the show.
Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Celestia: -Ignoring the crowd- I think facing Sweetie Belle later tonight would be a good warm-up for you Babs Seed.
Babs Seed: Warm up for what?
Celestia: Despite being injured, the doctors believe Apple Bloom will recover in time for Proving Grounds, so she has challenged you to a match at the Pay-Per-View, in a steel cage.
Dr. Whooves: A steel cage match! What a fight for Proving Grounds, but will Apple Bloom be up for the task?
Discord: Probably not.
-Celestia exits the ring while the crowd continues chanting "WE WANT DARING!" at her-
*Commercial*
*Now trending on Twitter: #DaringRevolution, #SteelCage, #Trollestia*
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, ten inches tall, weighing 137 pounds, Applejack!
-Applejack walks down the ramp with a basket full of apples, tossing them out to random audience members and getting cheers for it-
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing 140 pounds and standing at six foot, six inches tall, Fluttershy!
-Fluttershy shyly walks down the ramp once again accompanied by her pets-
Dr. Whooves: If I were Applejack, I'd keep Fluttershy away from that rabbit. Crazy things happen when she talks to that thing.
Discord: We all have our secrets to success.
Match 1: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Fluttershy
-The first minute of the match passes with Applejack dominating Fluttershy, who once again starts the match by not fighting back-
Applejack: Fluttershy, come on pardner, these fans came here for a show. It ain't gonna be very impressive if ya'll don't fight back.
Fluttershy: B-But I don't want to fight my friends.
Applejack: Just go with it. Ya'll won't hurt me.
Fluttershy: If you say so.
-Fluttershy jumps up and hits *Redacted* on Applejack-
: Fluttershy out of nowhere!
*1...2...-Kick out!-*
*12 Minutes later*
-Fluttershy has *Redacted* locked in and Applejack is struggling for the ropes-
Discord: If Applejack was smart she would of taken out Fluttershy when she had the chance, but then again, Applejack isn't smart.
Dr. Whooves: Well excuse her for trying to make the match more impressive.
-Applejack manages to reach the ropes and Fluttershy breaks the hold, as soon as Applejack stands Fluttershy goes for a *Redacted* but Applejack counters-
*Southern Hospitality*
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: And here's your winner, advancing to the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, Applejack!
*Backstage*
Interviewer: I'm here with the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails. Now, earlier this week on Lunacy EGO launched a devastating series of parodies mocking and discrediting the both of you. What are your thoughts on that?
Braeburn: *Laughs* Ya'll call that devastatin'? It was just plain ridiculous. Anyone who believed a word of what they were implyin' is dumber than they look.
Happy Trails: Now we did ask for it with how we insulted them last week, and we're big enough to take a few insults but honestly...we couldn't of been offended by that if we tried. It was just all too stupid.
Interviewer: Do you have anything to say to EGO in response?
Braeburn: Just this. If ya'll's fightin' is as bad as ya mockin', you're in for some real troubles.
*Commercial*
*A dazzling show of pyrotechnics blast off as Trixie's theme music fills the arena*
-Trixie walks out, custom microphone in hand, she's met with mostly boos but a few cheers mixed in-
Trixie: The following match is part of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, now approaching the ring, from the city of Manhattan, standing at a towering five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a tactical 140 pounds, the already certain to be winner of the match, the GRRRRRRRRREEEAAAAAAT AND POWWWERRRRRRRFUULLLLLLL TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIXIE!
-Trixie walks down the ramp and enters the ring-
*Do you believe in magic?*
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, weighing in at 150 pounds, and standing at five foot, eight inches tall, from the town of Loneyville. Pinkie Pie!
Match 2: Tournament Match, Pinkie Pie vs. Trixie
*14 minutes later*
Dr. Whooves: Trixie could be in trouble here, it's so hard to keep track of Pinkie Pie.
-Pinkie goes for Pinkie Sense, but Trixie counters and takes Pinkie Pie to the ground-
Dr. Whooves: Whoa! Did she just counter Pinkie Sense?! That move came out of nowhere when we last saw it, what technical skill on display by Trixie.
-Trixie locks in the Ursa Lock-
Discord: That's the same move that Trixie used to make Spitfire tap like a baby during her debut match.
-Pinkie makes a desperate crawl for the ropes but is forced to tap about a minute later-
Trixie: And the winner of the match, by way of submission, advancing to the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, the GRRREEEAAT AND POWERRRRRRRRFULL TRRRRRRRIIIIIXIE!
*Now Trending on Twitter: #GreatandPowerfulTrixie #DaringRevolution #WFC Tournament*
*Commercial*
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Charleston, standing five foot, six inches tall, weighing 128 pounds, Sweet Tooth!
-Sweet Tooth walks down to the ring getting a minor pop from the crowd-
*You see me flying through the sky, I see you down below as you walk on by*
Announcer: And her opponent, from Cloudsdale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!
-Large amount of cheering as Rainbow Dash sprints down to the ring-
Match 3: Tournament Match, Sweet Tooth vs. Rainbow Dash
*Five minutes of high speed destruction by Rainbow Dash later*
*Sonic Raindrop*
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here's your winner, Rainbow Dash!
-Loud cheers-
Dr. Whooves: Another impressive performance by Rainbow Dash, she may well be on her way to winning this tournament.
Discord: Just wait until she meets up with Trixie.
-The ring clears out, about a minute later the theme of Commander Hurricane starts to play, she enters the stage with her usual entourage of guards and her Squire-
Squire: All present please make respectful way for our mighty and brave leader, the great Commander Hurricane!
-Commander Hurricane marches down towards the ring, receiving mostly boos but a few distinct cheers-
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane was booked to face Apple Bloom in this part of the tournament, but Apple Bloom is injured and we STILL haven't received word about any replacement. What's going on here?
Discord: Maybe Commander Hurricane can face herself.
Dr. Whooves: You're joking?
Discord: I never joke.
Commander Hurricane: Well, well, it seems my weakling opponent to be was unable to withstand the incredible offense dealt to her last week. It appears I have now earned the right to advance in the tournament without an official battle.
*Redacted Theme*
Dr. Whooves: Here comes our General Manager to hopefully deal out some justice to the situation.
Celestia: Now just hold on Commander Hurricane. Nobody else has gotten a freebie in this tournament, and you're nothing special. You DO have a replacement opponent, I've just been keeping her secret up to now. You're opponent in this tournament match will be none other than...
*Never back down!*
Celestia: Daring Do!
-The crowd goes wild, giving Daring Do a huge pop as she runs down the ramp and into the ring-
-Commander Hurricane looks at Daring Do in annoyance and takes off her metal armor-
Commander Hurricane: You're going to need more than a room full of admirers peasant.
Match 4: Tournament Match, Commander Hurricane vs. Daring Do
*17 minutes later, Commander Hurricane and Daring Do have both already survived one of the other's finishers*
-Daring Do goes for a flying kick but Commander Hurricane catches her in mid-air and slams her down hard onto the mat-
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane has a reputation as a cheater, but it seems she has real power to use when she needs it.
Discord: The best warriors have brains and brawn, she only uses the heavy artillery when it's necessary.
-Commander Hurricane picks Daring Do up and hits *REDACTED* on her-
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*
Dr. Whooves: Daring Do is just not willing to let her debut end in a loss.
-Commander Hurricane starts stomping on Daring Do in rage, but Daring Do manages to catch her foot before one of those stomps and trips her, then after a series of moves Daring Do climbs the turnbuckle and hits *REDACTED* on Commander Hurricane-
Dr. Whooves: This could be it!
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*
-One of Commander Hurricane's guards begins to distract the ref-
Discord: Commander Hurricane still has a back-up plan.
-Commander Hurricane shoves Daring Do away and slides out of the ring, grabbing a piece of armor-
Dr. Whooves: Oh God, it's going to be just like what happened to Nurse Redheart...
-Commander Hurricane enters the ring and prepares to strike Daring Do with the armor, but Daring Do uses some kind of martial art kick to knock the armor flying straight into Commander Hurricane's face, she falls to the ground, knocked out cold, most the crowd cheers, but there are a few boos mixed in-
Dr. Whooves: Daring Do just used Commander Hurricane's own cheap tactic against her!
Discord: No such thing as a cheap tactic. All is fair in the ring, including turnabout.
-Daring Do goes for a pin as the ref turns his attention back to the match-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here's your winner, Daring Do!
-Loud cheers fill the arena, and chants of "DARING DARING DARING" are heard-
Dr. Whooves: It looks like we have a new contender in this tournament, and she has both the momentum and crowd on her side.
*Commercial*
*Now Trending on Twitter: #WeHaveDaring! #CommanderHurricaneOverthrown*
*Backstage*
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision are traveling down the hallway when they encounter Aloe and Lotus Blossom-
Photo Finish: What do the two of you want?
Aloe: We just wanted to thank you for your help last week. We don't really like winning like that, but we've had some bad luck lately...gotta take what you can get.
Lotus: And to show our gratitude, we wanted to see if you two were interested in a FREE spa treatment!
Pretty Vision: Oooooh, I'd love a spa treatment!
Photo Finish: No! We do not accept gifts from our lesser opponents.
Pretty Vision: *Frowns* Awww...
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision continue walking, leaving Aloe and Lotus looking confused-
Lotus: How could ANYONE resist a free spa treatment?
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one-fall, approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 130 pounds, Sweetie Belle!
-The crowd cheers as Sweetie Belle walks towards the ring, a determined look on her face-
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: And her opponent, standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!
-Babs Seed ignores the crowds boos as she heads down the ramp to meet Sweetie Belle in the ring-
Match 5: Babs Seed vs. Sweetie Belle
*11 minutes later*
-Sweetie Belle has Babs Seed trapped in the turnbuckle and is raining down punches, after catching one Babs Seed pushes Sweetie Belle away and subtly removes the turnbuckle padding, when Sweetie Belle charges at her again Babs Seed steps out of the way, causing Sweetie Belle to run straight into the exposed turnbuckle, Sweetie Belle falls to the ground-
-Babs Seed drags Sweetie Belle to the center of the ring and pins her-
*1...2...3!*
Dr. Whooves: She's almost a big of a cheater as Commander Hurricane.
Discord: Doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye?
-Loud boos-
Announcer: Here is your winner, Babs Seed!
-Babs Seed spends the next minute kicking and stomping on Sweetie Belle-
Babs Seed: I hope you're watching this Apple Bloom. -Points at Sweetie Belle- That's going to be you after our match at Proving Grounds, you better not even show up.
Dr. Whooves: I sure hope Babs Seed gets what she deserves at Proving Grounds, but enough of that for now, we have our main event, the fatal four way for the World Brawler's Championship, up next.
*Commercial*
*The sound of moving steam train fills the arena*
Announcer: The following battle is a fatal-four-way match, and it is for the World Brawler's Championship, entering first, making his way to the ring..from Denver, weighing in at 217 pounds, standing six foot, one inch tall, Steamer!
-Steamer emerges from backstage dressed in a 19th century train conductor's outfit-
Discord: Oh I wonder who the jobber in this match is going to be.
Dr. Whooves: Give the man a bloody chance.
Discord: I don't give chances, you have to earn them.
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Now entering the ring, accompanied to the ring by Spitfire, from Cloudsdale, weighing at 220 pounds and standing six foot, one inch tall. Soarin!

*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: From Loneyville, weighing in at 275 pounds and standing six foot, eight inches tall, Big MacIntosh!
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Now approaching the ring, from Loneyville, weighing in at 218 pounds and standing five foot, eleven inches tall, Thunderlane!
-Thunderlane casually jogs down the ramp, occasionally high-fiving a fan or two along the way-
Main Event: World Brawler's Championship, Fatal-Four-Way, Steamer vs. Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin vs. Thunderlane
-20 minutes later-
-Soarin and Thunderlane have both been knocked out of the ring, Big MacIntosh goes for a pin on Steamer before Thunderlane jumps back in out of nowhere and breaks the pin-
Dr. Whooves: Thunderlane saving Steamer on that one.
Discord: I think it was more Thunderlane saving Thunderlane.
-Big MacIntosh rises to his feet and glares at Thunderlane-
Dr. Whooves: Uh oh...this isn't going to be pretty.
-Big MacIntosh goes for a clothesline, but do to height difference Thunderlane easily ducks under it and gives Big MacIntosh a hard kick to the knee, forcing him into kneeling position for a moment, Thunderlane takes advantage of this and hits *Thunderstruck*-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here's your winner, and the World Brawler's Champion, Thunderlane!
Dr. Whooves: What a debut for Thunderlane, not only did he win the title on his first match he also pinned Big MacIntosh. Very impressive.
Discord: Looks like time's running out. We'll see you all next week where hopefully we'll have a bit more chaos.
-The show ends with Thunderlane celebrating and showing off his new title in the ring-
Match Results-
Match 1: Fluttershy vs. Applejack Applejack won
Match 2: Pinkie Pie vs. Trixie Trixie won
Match 3: Rainbow Dash vs. Sweet Tooth Rainbow Dash won
Match 4: Commander Hurricane vs. Daring Do Daring Do won
Match 5: Babs Seed vs. Sweetie Belle Babs Seed won
Main Event: World Brawler's Championship, Fatal-Four-Way, Steamer vs. Big MacIntosh vs. Soarin vs. Thunderlane Thunderlane won
Tournament Status:
Sweet Tooth, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Commander Hurricane eliminated
Applejack, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, and Daring Do moving on to semi-finals.
Proving Grounds Matches so far:
World Fighter's Championship: ? vs. ?
World Brawler's Championship: Thunderlane vs. ?
Sublime Tag Team Championship: Beauty Shot vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom
International Championship: Ten Woman Battle Royal: Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. ? vs. ?
Steel Cage Match: Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed
Combos of Carnage Championship: EGO vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails (Inter-brand Match)

Women's Eternal World Championship:

Champion: Lightning Dust
1. Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: 1) =
2. Cadance (Last Week: 4) ^
3. Scootaloo (Last Week: 2) v
4. Colgate (Last Week: 9) ^
5. Rarity (Last Week: 3) v
6. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: 5) v
7. Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^
8. Diamond Tiara (Last Week: 7) v
9. Turf (Last Week: EIGHT) v
10. Bon Bon (Last Week: N/A) ^

World Fighters Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Daring Do (Last Week: N/A) ^
2. Rainbow Dash (Last Week: 3) ^
3. Trixie (Last Week: 2) v
4. Applejack (Last Week: 5) ^
5. Babs Seed (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
6. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: 1) v
7. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: 6) v
8. Fluttershy (Last Week: 7) v
9. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: 4) v
10. Apple Bloom (Last Week: 9) v

Champion of Carnage:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Overdrive (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Rumble (Last Week: 1) v
3. Neon Lights (Last Week: 10) ^
4. DJ Zema Ion (Last Week: N/A) ^
5. Fancy Pants (Last Week: 5) =
6. Gustave Le Grand (Last Week: 6) =
7. Flash Sentry (Last Week: 3) v
8. Shining Armor (Last Week: 4) v
9. Snips (Last Week: 7) v
10. Snails (Last Week: EIGHT) v

World Brawlers Championship:

Champion: Thunderlane
1. Big MacIntosh (Last Week: 1) =
2. Soarin (Last Week: 6) ^
3. Steamer (Last Week: N/A) ^
4. Braeburn (Last Week: 2) v
5. Happy Trails (Last Week: 3) v
6. Hoity Toity (Last Week: 4) v
7. Prince Blueblood (Last Week: 5) v
8. Squire (Last Week: 7) v
9. Caramel (Last Week: EIGHT) v
10. Doughnut Joe (Last Week: 9) v

Crater Chick Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Cadance (Last Week: N/A) ^
2. Sunset Shimmer (Last Week: N/A) ^
3. Berry Punch (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
4. Bon Bon (Last Week: N/A) ^
5. Colgate (Last Week: 2) v
6. Sparkler (Last Week: 3) v
7. Midnight Strike (Last Week: 4) v
8. Cloudchaser (Last Week: 9) ^
9. Flitter (Last Week: 10) ^
10. Silver Spoon (Last Week: 7) v

International Championship:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Commander Hurricane (Last Week: N/A) ^
2. Pinkie Pie (Last Week: N/A) ^
3. Fluttershy (Last Week: N/A) ^
4. Sweet Tooth (Last Week: N/A) ^
5. Spitfire (Last Week: 4) v
6. Cheerilee (Last Week: N/A) ^
7. Inkie Pie (Last Week: 10) ^
8. Blinkie Pie (Last Week: N/A) ^
9. Photo Finish (Last Week: 5) v
10. Pretty Vision (Last Week: 6) v

Chick Combo Championships:

Champions: To Be Decider
1. Scootaloo & Berry Punch (Last Week: N/A) ^
2. Silver Spoon & Turf (Last Week: 6) ^
3. Cadance & Twilight Sparkle (Last Week: 3) =
4. Lyra & Bon Bon (Last Week: 7) ^
5. Flitter & Cloudchaser (Last Week: EIGHT)
6. Twilight Sparkle & Rarity (Last Week: 1) v
7. Diamond Tiara & Turf (Last Week: 4) v
8. Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon (Last Week: 4) v
9. Sunset Shimmer & Lightning Dust (Last Week: 2)

Sublime Tag Team Championships:

Champions: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish)
1. Applejack & Sweet Tooth (Last Week: 4) ^
2. Aloe & Lotus Blossom (Last Week: 1) v
3. The Ghost Girls (Inkie Pie & Blinkie Pie) (Last Week: 3) =
4. Octavia & Vinyl Scratch (Last Week: 2) v
5. Applejack & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 5) =
6. Applejack & Red Delicious (Last Week: 7) ^
7. Applejack & Golden Delicious (Last Week: EIGHT) ^
8. Sweetie Belle & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 6) v
9. Red Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 9) =
10. Golden Delicious & Apple Bloom (Last Week: 10) =

Combo of Carnage Tag Team Championships:

Champions: To Be Decided
1. EGO (Fancy Pants & Gustave Le Grand) (Last Week: 2) ^
2. Braeburn & Happy Trails (Last Week: 1) v
3. DJ Zema Ion & Neon Lights (Last Week: 7) ^
4. BroMans (Flash Sentry & Shining Armor) (Last Week: 3) v
5. Horsepower & Rumble (Last Week: 4) v
6. SLIME (Snips & Snails) (Last Week: 5) v
7. Canterlot Class (Hoity Toity & Prince Blueblood) (Last Week: 6) v
8. Clip Clop & Hugh Jelly (Last Week: N/A) ^
9. Hoops & Dumb-Bell (Last Week: EIGHT) v
10. Couch-Mate (Davenport & Check Mate) (Last Week: 9) v

On Lunacy:

8yearoldboy: Yay Twilight one again! ^_^ one week until Proving Grouns where she BEAT Lightning Dummy for her title! (+48 like this post.)

chrisurack (in reply to): I'm only liking because I find your gimmick here HILARIOUS.

Nomad (in reply to chrisurack): What if he's really 8, though?

8yearoldboy (in reply to Nomad): ill be 9 in 2 months +_+

gooseface (in reply to Nomad): Pretty sure he's a 35 year old virgin...-sigh-...like all of us...

notatroll (in reply to gooseface): lol FAT FAGG0T. (+85 like this post.)

gooseface (in reply to notatroll): The words you say speak to me in so many ways, nat...

notatroll (in reply to gooseface): I'm like Morgan Freeman but more white. (+57 like this post.)

James Loney: Rarity vs Colgate...INCREDIBLE. (+1,875 like this post.)

Buttsniff: Rarity vs Colgate was SO damn great...like, seriously. When are they going to be in the ring again? Colgate's gimmick sucks but I don't give a shit WHAT gimmick she has as long as she keeps having matches like THAT. (+498 like this post.)

ZeRedSpyy: Gustave Le Grand is magnifique.

Bluchu: Twilight's promos continue to suck ass, but she's still a great wrestler...this makes me indifferent on my opinion of her...

Switzerland (in reply to): Go NEUTRAL! (+INFINITE like this post.)

Lark: Overdrive's vignette was pretty cool, I'll admit, but it doesn't change the fact that he has a LOT to work on. Give the title to Rumble. He's got personality, and the little we've seen of his ring work is WAY BETTER than Overdrive's. (+732 like this post.)

Hick: Ah found Gustave and Fanceh Pantsy's segments in poor taste, y'all...

notatroll (in reply to): lol shut up hicks have no souls. (+537 like this post.)

Hick (in reply to): Ah do TOO have shoes, pardner... (+238 like this post.)

notatroll (in reply to): damn...good one.

The Awkward Reviewer: Is this going to be a trend forever? Three episodes of Lunacy, and all were STELLAR. Despite how professional I may seem, my type of comedy is toilet humor, and THAT'S what EGO gave us...it was beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, how about the WRESTLING? Clip Clop and Bill Neigh impressed, Midnight impressed with her bumping skills, Cloudchaser impressed with her...uhhh, assets, Colgate and Rarity put on a CLINIC, and the tag team main event featured four of the best workers in the EWF, at least by MY own opinion as a near one month fan of the product. Twilight's promos are still cheesy, and I still find them entertaining. Berry Punch is AWESOME, and so is Scootaloo. They're an odd-ball tag team, but the GOOD kind. Diamond Tiara, even in injury, still plays a key part in her role as a HUGE antagonist, and she's WONDERFUL at it. I can't see her EVER being a face. Looking forward to Proving Grounds. The stage is set for what looks to be an INCREDIBLE first Pay Per View.

Sethisto: Trixe, oh Trixie...where for art thou Trixie...?

On Sublime:

EVERYBODY: YES! DARING DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -JIZZ ERUPTIONS- DHFDSGFHVSDFVBSFNVSDFNVDFVSFVSFNVNFV (+INFINITE LIKED ALL OF THESE POSTS.)

Trollestia: LOL happy? (+4,326 like this post.)

fred2266 (in reply to): Yes, we are! THANK YOU! Now...about Commander Hurricane being world champion...

EWF Creative Team (in reply to fred2266): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno.

Markiplier: Babs Seed is the swaggiest bitch in town. #CantTouchDatShit.

notatroll (in reply to): #YoureAFagg0t (+583 like this post.)

BlarneyStone: Think about this guys: Discord...and Ahuizotl on commentary at Proving Grounds... (+2,483 like this post.)

neatone2222 (in reply to): Commentary Chaos...

konyy2k: YES! Now we know, if we cheer loud enough, we can get the EWF to give us ANYTHING we want! So, what do we want, guys?

TruthSpeaker (in reply to): You to shut the fuck up. We get it, you started this whole thing. The company hasn't even been around for a MONTH. They threw us a bone, and how can we even be sure they didn't plan for Daring Do to debut on the third episode of Sublime from the beginning? It's not like they were going to have her cut promos FOREVER...but, if they DID plan to have her debut at another time, and just decided to give us what we want, I respect the HELL out of the EWF for it...but SERIOUSLY...let them do what they want. Nobody has been complaining about anything except Overdrive, which is reasonable. That's ONE thing...just give them a chance, and whatever you want, WILL come true. You don't have to spam their shows with this shit. It was cool for Daring Do, but it may not be cool the other 100 times around. (+9,284 like this post.)

Lugnuts (in reply to TruthSpeaker): Preach.

The Awkward Reviewer: Once again, just like Lunacy, Sublime puts on another STELLAR performance. The excitement was THROUGH THE ROOF tonight. Daring Do's debut may have been a bit predictable, but predictability is good at times. This was one of those times, and I thought she and Commander Hurricane had the "Rarity vs Colgate" match of the night. Two of my favorite characters duking it out? I didn't know WHO to cheer for, so I just cheered for both. Rainbow Dash continues to impress with her amazing Ariel offense, and Trixie is still the best heel on the show. There's no denying. Thunderlane winning was a shocker, as I figured Big MacIntosh, but that was a great match, so I guess I really didn't care WHO won. Either way, Sublime and Lunacy, and the EWF as a whole, OFFICIALLY OWN my life...

Sethisto: PLEASE LET TRIXIE WIN THE TITLE. (+873 like this post.)

ANONYMOUS: ...

WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN...

The beautiful people...OOOOOHHHHH...

-Pyro shoots out from the ground and into the air. The fans go wild as another episode of Lunacy has commenced blah blah blah this is the same shit every week-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on the air, for the LAST episode of Lunacy until our first ever Pay Per View, Proving Grounds!

Garble: The symbolism behind that name is uncanny. Proving Grounds is EVERYBODY's chance-not ONLY the superstars, but the General Managers, cameramen, interviewers, announcers-

Ahuizotl: And of course, boy...the COMMENTATORS -winks-

Garble: -Grins- Of course! It's the ENTIRE Equestrian Wrestling Federation's chance to PROVE ourselves as the ULTIMATE means of sporting entertainment going forward.

Ahuizotl: And we couldn't have started it off any better, as Proving Grounds is looking to be PHENOMENAL as we speak!

So together we are lost on the moon... -The crowd cheers-

Garble: We'll run down the card LATER, but for now...holy crap...this is...odd...

Ahuizotl: I know what you mean. We are actually STARTING off the show with the general manager of Lunacy, Princess Luna! Odd indeed, considering how she usually has to come out after two superstars are bickering or fighting.

Garble: Looks like she beat anybody who wanted to speak their mind to the punch. Let's see what she has to say...

-Luna is handed a mic, as the crowd thrusts into chants of "Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna! Luna!" Luna smiles at this.-

Luna: We thank you for your embraceable enthusiasm, and we thank you fans for following Lunacy as loyally as you have so far. The Equestrian Wrestling Federation is closing in on one month as a company very soon, and we could not be MORE proud to bring you the very best that my talented roster has to offer, and I know my sister would say the same. -Cheers- With a new month approaching, and the first pay per view in Equestrian Wrestling Federation history approaching even FASTER, however...things must chance, such as life itself. The EWF is STILL, to this DAY, looking for company roles to fill, and, per our request, the Equestrian Wrestling Federation has filled a role they so DESPERATELY needed...an Executive Talent Relations officer. Why an executive? Well, Filthy Rich, in addition to being the Chairman of the EWF, also is responsible for making sure the talented individuals that make up the EWF rosters have a fair and balanced talent. If you know anything about business, you know that contracts end. When a contract is about to end, Mr. Rich must negotiate with the superstar to form the perfect contract for them, so they can continue working for him. Again, if you know anything about business...it's an EXTREMELY tedious job. Mr. Rich has enough on his plate as it is juggling through the day to day operations of his company, and so, he needs others to do the things he simply can't do. And so, we took it upon myself, to call upon...an old friend -blushes-, and see if he could be of any service to Mr. Rich, and I'm pleased to announce that he CAN, and WILL be! So, without anymore stalling, we introduce to YOU...the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations...my DEAR friend, Star Swirl! -The crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Oh my! I must say that I'm SHOCKED.

Garble: I-is she SERIOUS? This goof? What has he done to deserve this kind of power?!

-Star Swirl comes out in a suit that is adorned by numerous crescent moons. His signature beard has been trimmed down to a mere goatee. He waves at the fans over and over again and casually walks to the ring as Luna applauds.-

Ahuizotl: He's an old friend of Luna's, boy, that's been well documented! For those that aren't aware, this is Star Swirl the Bearded. He had been appearing on the past 3 episodes of Backstage Fallout, and let's just say, he's a bit out there...

Garble: He looks pretty-much like the average day corporate suck-up to me right about now. His awesome bush isn't even there anymore! Why? That was the only redeeming quality that guy had!

-Star Swirl gets in the ring, and hugs Luna. He is handed his own microphone.-

Crowd: Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl! Star Swirl!

Star Swirl: -Grins widely- My name...is Mr. Star Swirlanaitis...-some fans laugh out loud at the ridiculous name-...I am the NEW...Executive Vice President, of Talent Relations, and yes, Swirlanaitis IS my real last name. I'm using it to sound more professional. It's okay, it's fine, get it out of your system...

Crowd: THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT IS FU-NNY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Swirlanaitis: You may know me from Backstage Fallout, the show that catches up with the superstars of Lunacy after the most recent show. I would run around, stealing cakes, kidnapping cameramen, anything I could do to get some time on the camera myself. I guess you could say I'm an attention hog, and my CRAVING to be on national television...led me to Princess Luna. I asked, well, more like DEMANDED if she had a spot on the roster for me, and thankfully she DID. It wasn't really the spot I was expecting, though. I was expecting a commentator-

Garble: Oh thank God he didn't get that spot...

Swirlanaitis: Or best of all, a WRESTLER! -Flexes- But, instead...I got a job in...management. It surprised me, but I'm a pretty organized guy, doing a bunch of paperwork everyday doesn't faze me, so I took it! And now...I get to be on TELEVISION! I have an OFFICE! It smells like lettuce, it's GREAT! And it's a pretty easy job to top it all off. I haven't had to do it yet, but I understand what my job entails. Our talent scout goes out and finds the newest or fastest rising stars he can find in the wide wide world of professional wrestling, and when he's comfortable with his findings, because our talent scout is the very BEST at what he does, so he KNOWS what talent is GOOD talent for the EWF. When he finds the best talent he can round up, he sends them to ME. All I have to do is WORK with these young men and women, and strike up a deal we both feel is going to benefit us; them and the company. After their name is plastered on a contract in black-as-black ink, they get sent to our developmental training facility, which hasn't quite opened up yet, but we're working on it. When it's officially open, however, our new talent gets sent their, where they work on their wrestling skills. When we feel they've worked hard enough, and have gotten a LOT better than they were before, we'll call them up to the main roster, and give them the chance to wrestle...in front of ALL of you. When that time comes, it's up to THEM to impress you, just like they impressed us. So, essentially, I am responsible for bringing the fans of the EWF the greatest, most exciting, and most unique wrestlers we can find. -Crowd cheers- So, sooner or later, you can all expect not only on LUNACY, but if Ms. Celestia is interested, or SUBLIME, some FRESH superstars, that just like the whole other crops of talented men and women that you've already witnessed, are hungry, dedicated, and determined to win your approval, or succeed beyond ANY means. And THAT's something to look forward to...now, along with this new position of mine, in my contract, it is stated I have the power to make matches...correct, Luna?

Luna: That is correct, yes. As long as I approve them.

Swirlanaitis: In that case, this is going to be an EXCELLENT show for you all! Tonight, after 23 minutes of BREATHTAKING action last week, I am going to give you...the rematch: Rarity, will take on Colgate -Crowd already begins cheering-...HOLD ON! In a 30 MINUTE...IRON. WOMAN. MATCH! -Crowd explodes with cheers-

Ahuizotl: That's incredible!

Luna: And for those that do not know, the rules of the Iron Woman Match are simple: We put 30 minutes up on the clock. Whichever superstar has the most decisions, be-it gained by pinfall, submission, count-out, or disqualification when the 30 minute time limit expires, is the winner...I accept. -Crowd continues cheering-

Swirlanaitis: That's not ALL, though...tonight on Lunacy, we will be debuting ANOTHER NEW match-type for all our MALE fans...-the men in the audience whoop-...it is called, the SAUNA MATCH.

Garble: SOUNDS GREAT!

Swirlanaitis: I will leave your imaginations to ponder what exactly the rules of THAT match could be...

Luna: I know what they are, and I accept! And, just as promised, we will be having the first EVER championship DEBATE tonight. All of the Superstars of Lunacy will be lined up outside the ring, and they will have the opportunity to ask the Eternal Women's World Champion, Lightning Dust, and the challenger to her title, Twilight Sparkle, a question. The two will then debate, and the superstars will decide who is correct.

Swirlanaitis: -Nods- I'd accept that, but I'm not in the position of power you are...-chuckles with Luna- Enjoy your show, everybody! -The crowd cheers as Luna and Swirlanaitis leave the ring.-

Ahuizotl: OhohohoHO! Proving Grounds is sure to be nothing short of SPECTACULAR, but let's not discount what we'll be getting tonight on Monday Night Lunacy! The rematch between Rarity and Colgate, which is set to be a 30 MINUTE Iron Woman Match, this "Sauna" match, the championship debate, and who KNOWS what'll happen next?!

Garble: I'm looking forward to that damn SAUNA match! Apparently we'll be given the rules to explain to the crowd before the match starts, but I have a STRONG FEELING about how this match is going to play out...and I hope to the Hormonal POPE that I am right!

Ahuizotl: Before any of that, however, let's take it to the ring, for our FIRST match of the evening...

Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky... -Crowd cheers immensely-

Announcer: The following contest, is scheduled for OOONNEE FALL! Introducing FIRST...accompanied to the ring by "MARBLE COLD" Berry Punch! From LOONNEYYVVILLEE, weighing in at 118 POOOUUUNNDDSSS...SCOOOOOOOTAAAALLLLOOOOOO!

Ahuizotl: And what BETTER way to kick off the action here tonight on Lunacy, then with the biggest DAREDEVIL on Lunacy!

Garble: Berry Punch?

Ahuizotl: No, SHE's the biggest bad-ass...SCOOTALOO is the biggest daredevil!

Garble: And you're saying SCOOTALOO can't be a bad-ass, too?

Ahuizotl: NO! I-...I just mean...

Garble: Look man, you don't have to be such a dick. Everyone has a little bit of bad-ass inside of them...except YOU.

Ahuizotl: WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS!

-Pause-

Garble: So, 'Zotl...what'd you think of Daring Do's debut on Sublime last week? -Smirks-

Ahuizotl: SHE CHEATED!

Garble: -Chuckles- Ooooofff COURSE she diiiidd...

Ahuizotl: At least now those stupid crowd chants can stop...

Crowd: WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT DARING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: WHHHHHYYYYYY!? YOU HAVE HER, YOU SMARKS!

Garble: What's wrong with wanting the woman again? She's bangin'.

Ahuizotl: MY GOD WHY IS SCOOTALOO'S ENTRANCE SO LONG?!

-Berry Punch works the four turnbuckles, as Scootaloo slides into the ring and jumps on the turnbuckle diagonal of Berry Punch. She does a backflip off of it to cheers of approval from the crowd.-

Ahuizotl: These two should make a very imposing tag team in 6 nights. Odd, but imposing.

Garble: We already know Berry Punch has gave her WORD that she will watch Scootaloo's back, because it's clear nobody else will. That's why she's out here tonight, after all, because Scootaloo is going to be stared down by THREE of the baddest bitches in wrestling...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, don't hate me cuz I speak true... -There are many boos from the crowd, but still some audible cheers-

Announcer: Aaaaaanddd HER OPPONENT! Accompanied to the ring by Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara! From LONNEYYVVIILLLEE...weighing in at 122 POOOUUNNDSSS...TURF!

Ahuizotl: This will be our first look at the...vocal one of the Mean Girls, Turf, in singles action.

Garble: Oh how I love ALL of the Mean Girls...Turf to me, though, is the wildcard. She doesn't give a damn WHAT people think about her opinions, she'll say them anyway!

Ahuizotl: Last week, one of her "besties", Silver Spoon, lost a match to Berry Punch, and Turf was the victim of a Bar Tab finishing move. Turf has been wanting to get her hands on Berry Punch for a WEEK now because of that, but she'll have to settle for Scootaloo instead here tonight.

Garble: And Turf doesn't mind that ONE bit, believe me. Berry Punch is FRESH MEAT to the Mean Girls, but Scootaloo? They've been messing with her for MANY years now, and they don't seem to be tired of it yet...

Match 1: Scootaloo w/ Berry Punch vs Turf w/ Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara

Garble: -With glee- Oh goody! It seems we're being joined here on commentary with Silver Spoon and -kisses Diamond's hand- Diamond Tiara! HELLO, girls! -Diamond and Silver Spoon sit down next to Garble, putting their headsets on-

Silver Spoon: Ugh! Has anyone else like, USED these before? The LAST thing I want is someone's DISGUSTING sweat all over my ears...

Ahuizotl: I'm sure they were attended to your liking...

Garble: Diamond, do you need something to lay your neck against? Are you feeling alright?

Diamond: The fact that this swivel chair isn't LACED with sparkles is the only thing causing me pain right now...I'm actually getting better at a RAPID pace, THANK YOU for asking...-glares at Ahuizotl-

Ahuizotl: No offense Diamond, but I'm actually interested in seeing Turf compete. It's the first time we've seen her in this atmosphere, IN FACT...NONE of you ladies have won ANY match here in the EWF...

Silver Spoon: -Scrunches her nose- It's only because everyone else in the back is JEALOUS of how much prettier and better WRESTLERS we are than them...everybody in that battle royal went after US, and THAT'S why poor Diamond got hurt!

Ahuizotl: If you ladies were "better wrestlers" than all the others...wouldn't that make you UNDEFEATED? You haven't even won A MATCH. You're DEFEATED every week.

Diamond: -Scoff- Look, monkey-boy, the girls have been under a LOT of stress recently. They have to fetch me ice-packs to soothe my battle-wound! They can't eat because they have to FEED ME, and they can't sleep because they have to FLUFF MY PILLOW! It's been SO hard on them...they're such dolls...-kisses Silver Spoon on the forehead, which Silver Spoon drools a bit at.-

Garble: Awww...I'm glad you're getting better, Diamond.

Diamond: AS you should be...

Ahuizotl: Oh please...

-12 minutes later-

-Turf runs at Scootaloo, who is groggy against the ropes. Scootaloo ducks and launches Turf over the ropes and outside by the announce table.-

Diamond: UGH! -Beats the table- COME ON, TURF!

Silver Spoon: Yeah, like...Eye of the Tiger and all those other cliche boxing movie tropes!

Ahuizotl: You know...these fans can chant "DARING DO" all they want! SCOOTALOO is FAR better than that Stunt-Woman! She's "Daring Scoo!"

Garble: PFFFFTTTTTTTTTT! WHAT?! -Busting a gut- THE HELL DID YOU CALL HER?!

Ahuizotl: DARING SCOO! THE BETTER VERSION OF DARING DO!

Garble: -Wiping tears out of his eyes- Are you hearing this, girls?!

Diamond: -Concentrated, with her hands clasped and her head resting on them- I'll agree with you BOTH on one thing...Daring Do is NOTHING special. The fans should be chanting "DIAMOND TIARA" EVERY week. But THAT is the most IDIOTIC nickname I've EVER heard! There is nothing "Daring" about...BLEH...Scootaloo...

-Scootaloo bounces off the ropes-

Ahuizotl: Well, unlike Daring Do, Scootaloo is about to wow this cro- -Scootaloo sunset flips over the top rope as the crowd's anticipation rises to its fullest potential.- OOWWWWDDDDDD! -Turf moves out of the way at the last second, sending Scootaloo crashing tail-bone first into the announce table. The crowd "OOOOH's", as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon look on in near orgasmic delight.-

Diamond: -Cackling- So much for "Daring"! Now she knows what it feels like to be in pain beyond all belief!

Turf: -To the crowd, pointing at Scootaloo- IS THIS YOUR GIRL?! HUH?! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR GIRL NOW?! SHE'S MY BITCH UNTIL I'M DONE WITH HER! -Turf latches her hands onto Scootaloo's hair, and throws her into the ring. Berry Punch runs at Turf, but misses Turf just as she gets in the ring. Silver Spoon throws off her headset, grabs Berry, and Irish whips her sternum first into the announce table. The crowd boos.-

Ahuizotl: Oh! There was no reason for that...

Diamond: -Getting up- That's why the H.B.I.C.'s RUN this whole fucking thing! REMEMBER IT! -Throws her headset at Ahuizotl, and goes over to kick Berry in the stomach as she's still on the ground.-

Garble: Sure is a little angel, isn't she...

Ahuizotl: She sure has a tight grip on YOUR ball-sack if you believe that...

-Turf picks up Scootaloo in the ring, and executes *REDACTED MOVE* on her. She hooks her leg-

1...2...3! -Crowd boos-

Garble: Turf did it! You SHOULDN'T have brought it up, 'Zotl because Turf just scored the Mean Girls' FIRST win...in the EWF!

Ahuizotl: And she did it without ANY help from her "besties", so I'll give the young lady credit for that...but MAN! The Mean Girls...that fits them to a TEE.

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: THE MORE YOU CHANT...THE MORE WE FUCK HER UP! YOU CHOICE!

-Diamond gets in the ring as the chant cease, but she still points to Scootaloo.-

Ahuizotl: Oh...what more can they do to this poor girl...?

Garble: Diamond will NOT stop until Scootaloo KNOWS who runs the show around here...

Ahuizotl: Diamond's delusional. Silver Spoon's delusional. Turf's delusional, because NONE OF THEM do!

-Silver Spoon tosses Scootaloo out of the ring as Turf lifts up Berry Punch and drops her sternum first on the top of the announce table. Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and executes a back suplex on the barricade, which works over Scootaloo's tailbone some more. Scootaloo falls to the ground in agonizing
screams.-

Turf: CHANT YOUR WORTHLESS SHIT NOW! IT WILL NEVER SAVE HER!

Crowd: SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO!

Turf: -Shaking her head- You asked for it, then...-at Silver Spoon- SET HER UP!

Ahuizotl: Why won't they just walk away?!

Garble: Because they CAN'T, dammit! They would've if the crowd would just shut up!

Ahuizotl: They're just trying to show their favorite superstar that they give a damn when they're in pain!

Garble: Yet they can't chant for Daring Do just because they want to see her?

-Silver Spoon turns Scootaloo around, and places her against the barricade. She holds her there as Turf runs towards her, and she lets go when Turf is close enough to deliver a running dropkick that is RIGHT ON TARGET to Scootaloo's tailbone.-

Garble: Now Scootaloo knows what it feels like to be HURT...BADLY. Diamond Tiara can only PLEAD that she is injured!

Ahuizotl: Unlike Diamond Tiara's injury, though, which happened quick, The Mean Girls are going to make sure Scootaloo's injury is as slow and PAINFUL as it can be...

Turf: TAG. TEAM. CHAMPIONS. BIIITTCCHHEEEESSSS! -The crowd continues to boo as Diamond Tiara raises the hands of her two cohorts, as Scootaloo and Berry Punch lay flat on the ground.

Ahuizotl: The Mean Girls...sending an absolutely DISGUSTING message to their opponents at Proving Grounds...

Garble: I thought it was pretty beautiful. The tag team division is going to go places with Turf and Silver Spoon as the champions!

*Backstage*

-Rumble is seen walking, taking a selfie with each step he takes. Out of nowhere, he is grabbed by Hugh Jelly and pressed up against a steel loading door.-

Rumble: -Struggling- HEY! HEY! HEY! Watch the Jacket...it's made from Dolphin.

Hugh Jelly: Yeah? Well your face is about to be made of MEAT!

Rumble: -Emotionless face- ...Cute. Now, let me the hell go!

Bill Neigh: We REFUSE to let you go! The chances of Midnight Strike getting brutalized last week were a 0.21% chance before you sent your familiars after her...and US.

Rumble: -Laughing- Oho...OH! You think that I told big bad Horsepower and the Roses to go out there, cost you your match, and hurt your girlfriend, Jam-Master?

Dance Fever: Ehhh...why wouldn't it be you, daddy? You one BAD cat!

Rumble: Listen here, Hot-Pants...neither Horsepower, Flitter, OR Cloudchaser have contracts with ME...I don't OWN them. They have contracts with the Equestrian Wrestling Federation...as do I...as do you all...they're all three grown men and women that can make their OWN decisions. I met Horsepower at a Nightclub, and we became great friends. Flitter and Cloudchaser I met through my brother...I've known them since I was a kid...we aren't an ITEM. We aren't DATING. We're merely FRIENDS...-chuckling- with benefits...-Hugh lets Rumble go- I have a title match with Overdrive to worry about. I have no reason to want to pick a fight with ANY of you...my friends? They apparently did, and I can't tell you why...and, truthfully, I'm not going to ask...

Hugh: You're not even going to APOLOGIZE on behalf of them?

Rumble: APOLOGIZE? Oh, Slam-Jam, WHY would I stoop myself so low as to garner you with my eternal sorrow? I never had a reason to set my sights on any of you...because you're NOTHING. You're not even BLIPS on my radar...hmph. I'm not wasting my time with you, but you should be HONORED that my other GORGEOUS friends have decided to...you should've ran away to your girlfriend instead of picking a fight with the wrong crowd...tonight, you're all going to witness what my friends can do, because they're ALL going to be in action at ONCE. And at Proving Grounds...they're going to DESTROY YOU, Aunt Jamima...YOU, Doink the Chump, and your little damsel in distress...just like I'm about to destroy YOU, Disco-Dork in our match...NEXT. -Walks off, whistling his theme music and taking more selfies as the Oddities watch him leave.-

Dance: -Pounding his hand- Man...that ain't cool...

*Commercial*

Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show... -The crowd cheers-

Garble: And there you go, 'Zotl...no need to paint Rumble as this "super ultra bad guy" anymore. He had NOTHING to do with the interference of Horsepower and the Roses last week!

Ahuizotl: He just insulted the Oddities with some of the worst nicknames I've ever heard, though...

Garble: Hey! I think "Aunt Jamima" is a GREAT nickname!

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing FIRST, representing The Oddities! Weighing in at 228 POOOUUUNNDSS...DANCEEE..FEEEVVEEERR!

Ahuizotl: First time we've seen ANY member of the Oddities BESIDES Midnight Strike in singles competition.

Garble: Where is she, anyway?

Ahuizotl: You DO realize she was attacked by a near 300 pound man last week...correct?

Garble: Jeez, just figured she was tougher than that...

Ahuizotl: ...Unbelievable.

-Dance Fever does some outdated dance moves from the 70's as the crowd and the Oddities clap to the beat of their entrance-

-Rumble does his usual entrance which you hopefully know how it works if not GO TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE-

Garble: But now...the dancing must STOP, as all make way for the sheer GORGEOUSNESS that is Rumble...

Ahuizotl: And Rumble has a GORGEOUS opportunity this Sunday to be crowned the first EVER Champion of Carnage...he just has to beat the adrenaline fueled Overdrive.

Garble: Pft. Is that all? Rumble is up to the challenge...TRUST ME.

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: And the fans seem to be behind him...for SOME reason.

Garble: Didn't you HEAR them? He's gorgeous!

Ahuizotl: And...?

Garble: He...his jacket is made of DOLPHIN!

Ahuizotl: Supposedly...

Garble: -Sigh- Yeeeaaahh...for some reason I don't see that being a thing.

Match 2: Dance Fever vs Rumble

-As the bell rings, Rumble is still taking selfies-

Ahuizotl: APPARENTLY he didn't get the memo...

Garble: Leave him alone! He's got to get a few more good ones in!

-The referee approaches Rumble-

Ref: Put it down, Rumble! Start the match! -Dance Fever is waiting for Rumble. He's no longer dancing. He's all serious.-

Rumble: Hold on! Just need to get my good side! -Takes a few more selfies before cheap-shotting Dance Fever. The crowd cheers as Rumble lays his cell phone down in the corner to go to work on Dance.-

-7 minutes later-

-Dance rushes at Rumble, but Rumble lifts him up into the air and FLATTENS him into a Flapjack-

Garble: And this match has been ALL Rumble! He's proved that Dance Fever isn't a threat to him in ANY way!

Ahuizotl: But the match isn't over yet...now is it?

-Rumble begins the set-up to his "Snap Shot" spinning heel kick finisher-

Garble: It's about to be...

-All of a sudden, the crowd begins to boo as Overdrive sprints down to the ring-

Ahuizotl: It's Overdrive! Rumble's opponent at Proving Grounds!

Garble: Oh CAN'T YOU WAIT A DAMN MINUTE?! We're seeing PERFECTION in the ring!

-Overdrive swipes Rumble's camera from the corner, sending Rumble into a frenzy as he approaches the ropes-

Rumble: Hands off my STUFF, pin-head! Yelling causes my throat to deteriorate and making mad-faces causes WRINKLES, so give it ba- -Dance Fever rolls up Rumble-

1...2...3! -Most of the crowd boos, as Dance Fever rolls out of the ring. Rumble is on his knees, his hands being slapped to the top of his head-

Ahuizotl: He did it! dance Fever has secured the first win for ANY Oddity!

Garble: IT WAS A FLUKE! IT WAS A FLUKE AND ALL THOSE LOSER ODDITIES KNOW IT! NONE OF THEM COULD BEAT RUMBLE ON HIS BEST DAY! OVERDRIVE...YOU SUCK BIG TIME, BUDDY! YOU CAN'T BEAT RUMBLE EITHER, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO EMBARRASS HIM!

Ahuizotl: Hey, better stop yelling...it "deteriorates" your throat...

Garble: I AM NOT YELLING I AM CLAIMING IGNORANCE ON EVERYTHING THAT MY EYES HAVE JUST WITNESSED!

Ahuizotl: I don't see the difference...

-Overdrive places Rumble's phone on the ground, and Rumble realizes what he's about to do. He clasps in hands in prayer-

Rumble: NO! NO! PLEASE! IT'S A TOUCH SCREEN!

-Overdrive fakes sympathy, but ultimately crushed Rumble's phone with his shoe. The crowd cannot stop booing-

Crowd: OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS!

-Rumble begins pounding at the mat as tears roll down his face-

Garble: Goddammit! Look at this man! Poor Rumble is crying his eyes out over the loss of his beloved phone!

Ahuizotl: I know...isn't it pathetic. Can't he just buy a new one?

Garble: Why? So shitty Overdrive can KILL that one too?!

-Overdrive steps on the phone one final time, as a random chip flies into the crowd-

Garble: HEY! THAT COULD KILL A FAN!

Ahuizotl: That couldn't even kill an ant...

-Overdrive throws the remains of the phone back in the ring, does the "imaginary title belt" motion across his stomach, and walks off without a hint of forgiveness in his body. Rumble shields his body over the final remains of his phone, and weeps-

Rumble: MY BABYYYY! -He looks towards the stage- I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, OVERDRIVE! YOU DON'T MESS WITH A MAN'S PHOOOOO-OOOOONEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Welp, time to get a Nokia! They're indestructible!

Garble: YOU FUCKER! HAVE YE NO SOUL?! HAVE YE NO CONSCIENCE?! HAVE YE NO SYMPATHY FOR THIS POOR MAN?!

Ahuizotl: I can just picture the Verizon guy saying "Can you hear me now?" And he is met with no response...EVER.

Garble: TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK SO THIS ASSHOLE NEXT TO ME CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF FOR A FEW MINUTES!

-We go to commercial break with Rumble literally rolling in the pieces of his broken phone, as chants "Rumble" break out.-

Garble: -His head hung low- Ladies and gentlemen, we would just like to remind you that this is NOT a part of the entertainment we provide you with each and every week...I- -nearly chokes up-...I have the responsibility to let you all know that...Rumble's phone has died...-sniffles-...Rumble's phone has tragically died...here tonight, as a result of Overdrive's shoe's fall into his face...-"One Thing" by Finger Eleven plays in the background as many fans applaud the graphic that has just came up on the titantron. It has a picture of Rumble's face because Rumble never took a picture of his own phone that would be gay and it has the caption under below the picture: "Rumble's phone. Three weeks ago to Today."-

-There is a moment of silence, followed by a 10 bell salute-

Garble: Overdrive took Rumble's phone's SOUL...with his own SOLE...but FUCK THAT PHONE! -Grins- It's time for the SAUNA MATCH!

Ahuizotl: I knew that would cheer you up. I'm pretty excited to...care to mind the rules, since this is sure to be your FAVORITE match-type EVER?

Garble: I GLADLY will! -Rubs his hands together- The rules of the Sauna match are fairly simple. Two women will step into a sauna, provided by Sublime's very own Spa Twins, Aloe and Lotus, so thanks to them...I wish they could be the participants in the match but oh well. The women will be in their wrestling gear-nice, nice...the winner will be the FIRST woman to remove her - Eyes go big-...HOT STICKY AND CLUNG TO HER BODY WRESTLING GEAR...-Gasps-due to the extreme heatness they will be feeling as a result of being in the sauna...but the real winner...will be US! THE FANS! WHO GIVES A FUCK WHO WINS?! A NEKKID WOMAN IS THE BEST KIND OF WOMAN!

Ahuizotl: Amen to that...-imagines Daring Do in a sauna while wearing a towel. She fans herself and crosses her legs so he can get a small glimpse of her pussy lips.- THIS IS INHUMANE! CUT TO THE DAMN SAUNA SO THESE WOMEN CAN DEGRADE THEMSELVES FOR OUR PLEASURE!

-We cut to the Sauna, where the door is open and ready for its two participants-

*REDACTED THEME*

Announcer: Introducing first...from LOONNEYYVVIILLLE...weighing 127 POOOUUNNDSS...SPAAARRRKKLLERRRRR!

-Sparkler walks into the sauna wearing her towel, but she has her arms crossed. She has a look that borders "pissed off" and "I'm too pure and wholesome to show my body waaahhhhh WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Garble: Alright, alright! Sparkler is pretty damn sexy! Nice start so far!

Ahuizotl: But she doesn't look very happy to be here...

Garble: If she doesn't wanna strip, then DAMMIT! But if she doesn't CARE if we're mad at that, cuz she's a BITCH, then all she has to do is take the heat!

I swear I won't tease you-won't tell you no li-Ies... -Sparkler's face droops, as all the fans in the arena fully understand what they are about to witness. This is no exaggeration...EVERYBODY WATCHING THIS, WHETHER IT BE LIVE OR AT HOME, IS SCREAMING IN TERROR. NOT BOOING...SCREAMING IN GOD DAMN RECTAL TERROR. ALL OF THEIR BONERS? DEAD. THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS TO SEE THE SEXIEST GIMMICK MATCH THEY'VE EVER SEEN? DEAD. UNCLE PHIL FROM FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR? DEAD, BUT UNCLE PHIL WOULD'VE JERKED OFF TO THIS MATCH JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THAT DAY, ALL THE LITTLE KIDS CRIED ON THE CAR-RIDE HOME, COMPLAINING TO THEIR PARENTS: "DADDDDYYYY! WHY DIDN'T I GET TO SEE DAH PRETTY LADIES BOOOOBBBIIEESSSS?" AND, WITH A SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK, THE FATHER REPLIES: "BECAUSE, SON...GOD IS DEAD." AND GOD WOULD LOVE THIS MATCH, TOO. HE HAD HIS LOTION AND TISSUES ALL READY, BUT FUCKING GAY DICK-FUCK ZEUS DIDN'T GET HIS SHITTY THUNDERSTORM IN BUTTE, MONTANA, SO HE FUCKING MAKES TWIST APPEAR SOMEHOW I DUNNO BUT GODDAMMIT. THE WORLD WAS WATCHING, WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT...ALL THE NECKBEARDS AND VIRGINS OF THE WORLD WHEEZED SO HARD THEY HAD TO GRAB THEIR INHALER AND PUFF PUFF PUFF. NOT ONLY DRUGS BUT ALSO...YA KNOW THEIR INHALER. THEY WERE ALL SET TO "INHALE" THIS MATCH HAHAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE AHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SCRUB BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. NOBODY IS GOING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD, TOO. AND HE AND MILFY MRS. CLAUSE WERE BOTH GOING TO HAVE FOREPLAY WITH EACH OTHER AS THIS MATCH WENT THROUGH LIVE ON THE TELE. BY THE WAY...FUCK THE BRITISH. SAY TELEVISION, YOU QUEEF-BURGLARS. I BEG OF YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS. HOW ARE TERMITES NOT IN YOUR MOUTHS YET? SO ANYWAY WOW I SURE TYPED A LOT WELP TIME TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF BECAUSE SUICIDE SOLVES EVERYTHING. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, KURT COBAIN.-

Garble: -Quiet-...no...-Louder-...NO...-As loud as one can be-...NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! ANYBODY! ANYBODY BUT TWIST! WHY!? WHY!? FUCKING WHY I ASK OF YOU!?

-Twist comes twerking into the sauna, as she didn't even BOTHER putting a towel on-

-Ahuizotl is already under the commentary table, as Garble munches on turnbuckle pads. People try to throw their sodas at the titantron to short it out, but it all misses by a long shot-

Ahuizotl: HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS! -THINKS OF DARING DO EATING A CORNDOG THAT IS COVERED IN MAYONNAISE. SHE EATS IT SLOWLY, AND TEASES BY INSERTING IT INTO HER MOUTH AGAIN AND AGAIN, ALL THE WHILE WAGGLING HER EYEBROWS.- GAAAAAAHHHH! I...It's still better than whatever is happening on the battlefield...-keeps thinking these thoughts, sucking his thumb as they play through his head.-

-Twist sits down on the bench opposite of Sparkler, licking her lips.-

Twist: Let's see if you can take my "heat"...

Match 3: Sauna Match: Sparkler vs Twist

-As soon as the bell rings, Sparkler jumps up from her bench, and yanks her towel off-

Sparkler: FUCK THIS!

Twist: Oh...I intend to...

-Sparkler rips her wrestling attire, exposing her ENTIRE BODY THAT HAS NO STEAM RESONATING OFF OF WHICH SUCKS BUT OH WELL YAY NAKED SLUT TO THE PUBLIC BUT EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD HAS THEIR HANDS COVERING THEIR FACE, except for one 6 year old little boy in the audience. Who ignored his father's advice and at the appropriate time took one hand off of one eye and gasped in delight at what he saw. He began to tug on his father's shirt-

LITTLE SHIT: Daddy, daddy! I saw BOOOBBBBBBYYYYY!

BIG SHIT: NOOOOOO SOOOOOOONNNNN! DO NOT LIE TO YOUR POOR OLD MAN! SHIELD YOUR EYES! -The father turns his head to the side to avoid what he DOESN'T BELIEVE IS SPARKLER'S NEKKID SEXEH BODEH THAT IS QUICKLY COLLECTING MORE SWEAT WHICH MAKES IT BETTER and uses one of his large hands to engulf his son's smaller eyes away from the "monstrosity" that is purple sex on the titantron-

LITTLE SHIT: -Frowns- Why does it even matter, daddy? You'd need Viagra for your wiener to grow in this predicament, anyway...

BIG SHIT: -Sniffles- I know, son...I KNOW.

-The timekeeper can't even see what is happening but he rings the bell and hopes the announcer can understand what he is doing-

Announcer: -Does understand- Here is your WINNER...SPARKLER! GET THE FUCKING MATCH OFF OF THE SCREEN!

-Sparkler runs for the door, but it shuts right in her face. She tries to open it, but realizes she's been locked out. Panicked, she looks back to see Twist has stood up from her bench.-

Twist: I don't mind if I lost, because in the end...I'M a winner, too...-snorts combined with giggles-...where ya running off to? Hop aboard the Steam-Twain! -Twist grabs a hold of her attire, and stretches it out so far it rips. Thankfully, the camera crew are able to cut away from that scene before we can see any of Twist's peppermint pussy.-

*Princess Luna's office*

-Princess Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are having some casual conversation as Sunset Shimmer bursts through the door.-

Swirlanaitis: Ah...Sunset Shimmer. -Extends his hand- Nice to meet you.

Sunset: -Stares at his hand with a raised eyebrow, and chuckles- Another corporate sellout who traded in his quirky personality and scrotum for a suit, a corner office, and a chance to be on TV? -Shakes her head- Why should I respect YOU? You're everything I HATE.

Swirlanaitis: -Frowns- I'm sorry to hear that...

Luna: Ms. Shimmer, how DARE you speak to the man that controls your contrac-

Swirlanaitis: No, no, Luna...it's fine. It's a...lot to get used to myself...Sunset IS one of the more...direct members of Lunacy's roster, I've noticed.

Sunset: Damn right. -Crosses her arms and smirks-

Luna: Which would explain why she just so happens to BURST into my office. -Glares at Sunset. Sunset shrugs. Luna sighs.- What can we do for you...Sunset?

Sunset: For the past two weeks, that little pink gnat Cadance has been on my case! Every time I turn around, THERE SHE IS...interrupting MY opportunity to DOMINATE Twilight Sparkle. She took away my chance to challenge for the Eternal Women's title, and she snuck up from behind me last week!

Luna: Much like YOU'VE been doing since the first episode of Lunacy...bashing her back with a steel chair, slamming her head into a crate...

Swirlanaitis: Sounds like a pretty nice track record to me.

Luna: Star Swirl...please. Was that the only reason you came here, Sunset? To complain?

Sunset: GRRRRR...No! I want a chance to get BACK at her! You think I can wait SIX more days to pull this little pink THORN out of my side?

Swirlanaitis: Going to need some BIG plyers to tackle that job...-chuckles.-

Sunset: Did...did you just call Cadance FAT? -Laughs- Oh man...I kind of like you...-Swirlanaitis gasps-

Luna: -Glares at Swirlanaitis again- I believe we may be able to give you what you want, while making a GREAT main event at the same time...tonight, you, Sunset, will team up with Snips and Snails...to take on Cadance, and HER partners...Shining Armor, and your boyfriend...Flash Sentry.

Sunset: WHAT?! You expect me to face my BOYFRIEND?

Luna: Calm down...it's NOT an intergender match. Boys face boys, girls face girls. Plus, it combines two of Lunacy's rivalries into one big match, as we've been doing the past few weeks.

Swirlanaitis: Great marketing strategy! -Smiles-

Sunset: Whatever...I suppose it will HAVE to do. These six days are going to fly by in a breeze, anyway...-looks at Swirlanaitis- Just be ready to terminate that bitch's contract once she won't be able to compete after the injuries I'M going to give her... -Snickers, and leaves the office-

Swirlanaitis: -Leans in towards Luna- DRAAAAMMMAAAAAA... -Luna giggles-

-As we cut back to the arena, we get the lasting image of Garble, still with turnbuckle pad in his mouth, being dragged out of the arena by "White Coats", as they plan to take him to the nearest insane asylum. Ahuizotl is still under the announce table, trembling with fear as Daring Do dunks her corndog in MELTED BUTTER. So yeah we now have no commentary.-

*RUMBLE'S THEME* -Most of the crowd cheers-

-Horsepower walks down the aisle in another big suit, carrying the velvet rope with him. He quickly sets it up as Flitter and Cloudchaser come out, arm in arm in their wrestling gear, eliciting many cheers and horny wolf-whistles from the crowd that are happy to see hot women instead of...what was going to happen BEFORE this match. Horsepower opens the rope to allow the girls entry, and Cloudchaser pats Horsepower's cheek as she and Flitter stand next to Horsepower. Horsepower rips off his massive suit, and leads the girls to the ring.-

Announcer: The following HANDICAP MATCH...is scheduled for OOONNEEE FAAAALLL! In the ring, at a combined weight of 497 POOOOUUNNDDSSS...HOOORRSSEEPPOOWWEERRR...FLIIITTERRR...AND CLOOOUUDCHASSEERR!

-Horsepower flexes in the ring, as Flitter and Cloudchaser rest on his shoulders and point at him, signifying that "YEH FUQQERS WE GOT DAH ROIDED GAI ON OUR TEEM WUT NAW."-

Since they wanna know... -Decent pop-

Announcer: AAANNDDD...THEIR opponent...from LOONNEEYYVVIILLLEEE...weighing in at 157 POOOUUUNNDDSS...GIIZZZMMMOOOOO!

-Gizmo comes out with his boxing gloves, as his grandfather Geri is not far behind-

Geri: Alright, kid...your first match? Ya didn't do so good. Your second match? You're REALLY gonna stiff 'em up!

Gizmo: -Wheezes- But, grandpa...there's LADIES in that ring...-sweats-

Geri: Yeah! And if ya rough 'em up real good, then they'll go on a date with you so you can get your sorry BUTT out of your poor mom and pop's house.

Gizmo: I'm not quite sure if that's how love works...

Geri: Eh, why do you think I've got all these scars on my cheek, sonny?

Gizmo: You mean...grandma HIT you?

Geri: EH-HEH-HEH-HEEEEEHHHHH...nah, these are just from the war...-squirts some water down Gizmo's throat, which almost causes him to choke- Get 'em! -Pushes his grandson into the center of the ring, where Flitter is waiting.

Gizmo: Uhhmmm...-snorts-...Hi, Flitter...

Flitter: WOOOWWWWW, Gizzy! What big BOXING GLOVES you have!

Gizmo: You...-blushes- you really like them?

Flitter: -Nods- MHM! Oh, I bet you could STIFF someone REALLY good with those, couldn't you...? -Wraps her arms around Gizmo's neck-

Gizmo: -Laughs nervously- Eheheheh...well...to be quite honest...IIIIIIIIIIIIII've...never really "knocked anybody out" yet...

Flitter: -Giggles, and leans in to whisper in Gizmo's ear- Well...tonight could be your lucky night...-licks Gizmo's ear lobe, causing his chest to compress over and over again. Flitter bites her bottom lip.-

Gizmo: P-...perhaps it could be...

Flitter: Oh...-pouts- But you wouldn't hurt wittle owe Fwitter...-puppy dog eyes-...would yew?

Gizmo: N-No! N-never, Flitter...NEVER.

Flitter: -Giggles again- That's good! -Steps back- Because you've gotta put those gloves to good use...

-Gizmo doesn't quite get what she means by that, but he figures it out when he gets MOWED over by Horsepower with a running shoulder block. Horsepower screeches as Flitter skips out of the ring, gaining a high five from her friend for good effort-

Match 4: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Gizmo

-4 minutes later...-

-Horsepower connects with a Dominator. He snorts, and notices that Cloudchaser WILLINGLY wants the tag. Horsepower obliges, and tags her in, the first time EITHER one of the Roses have gotten a tag in this match. Cloudchaser slowly makes her way into the ring, as she has Gizmo RIGHT where she wants him. She goes up to Gizmo and nudges his side with her boot, but gets no response. She then proceeds to STEP onto and over Gizmo's body, and opts to LOUNGE her shoulders and back onto him, rather than pinning him.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Cloudchaser sits up and throws her arms out to the side in a "Yeah, I did that" manner-

Announcer: Here are YOUR WINNERS...Horsepoweeeerrrr...Flitteeerrrr...AAANNDD Cloudchaasseerrr!

-Flitter skips into the ring, and high fives Cloudchaser. They then pick up Gizmo to do some more damage. They both laugh like they're riding through California in a sun-roofed convertible, as they each plant a kiss on Gizmo's forehead, before planting him into the mat with a Double DDT. Geri throws the towel in, but it's already too late. Horsepower raises their hands, and the girls hug Horsepower before all three leave the ring. Geri gets in the ring and begins blowing his whistle in his grand-son's face, attempting to wake him up, but he is knocked out cold.-

-We cut backstage to a split screen showing of Rarity and Colgate walking through different hallways. Colgate has a menacing smirk on her face, while Rarity has a determined look on hers. They are each coming out to the ring for their 30 minute Iron Woman match...next.-

*Commercial*

Announcer: The following contest...is the THIIIRRTTTYY MINUTE...IRON WOMAN MAATTTCCHHH...-the crowd explodes with cheers, as they realize what match is about to occur- Whichever competitor has the MOST decisions, over the course of the 30 minute time limit...will be VICTORIOUS!

*DRILL SOUNDS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO INTIMIDATE EVERYBODY* -Large cheers from the crowd-

Announcer: Introducing FIRST! From LOONEYYVIILLEE...weighing in at 132 POOOUUNDSSS...COOOLLGATE!

*REDACTED THEME* -More crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanddd...HER OPPONENT! From LOONNEEYYVVIILLEEE...weighing in at 127 POOOUNDSS...RAAARRIITTTTYY!

-You can literally FEEL the anticipation of the crowd RISE as Colgate and Rarity stare each other down. After their CLASSIC match last week, to say the fans are looking forward to this rematch would be the understatement to end ALL understatements!

Crowd: LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY-AAAND COL-GATE!

Match 5: 30 Minute Iron Woman Match: Rarity vs Colgate

-27 minutes later-

Crowd: NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* NEVER END THIS MATCH! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-2 minutes later-

-Both Rarity and Colgate are on the top rope. Rarity goes for a superplex, but Colgate avoids this by forcing her hand into Rarity's mouth, which gains a big pop from the crowd. Rarity loses her train of thought as her teeth are being stretched out by Colgate five feet in the air. Colgate uses her free hand to grab a handful of Rarity's trunks, and jump off of the top rope with a hard SLAM to the mat. It's like a Chokeslam, but the hand is in the mouth and not around the throat. Whatever it was, the crowd LOVES it, and they are just as shocked that Colgate STILL has the Root Canal locked in.-

-Many seconds later-

-Rarity has tried to drag herself to the ropes in a last ditch effort to escape this excruciating hold, but Colgate has a FIRM grip on her molars.-

5...4...3...2...1...-The crowd counted down the final remaining seconds of the match, and as the bell rings, Rarity still DID NOT tap. She had survived the dreaded Root Canal for a full MINUTE!-

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...in the 30 minute time limit given...NEITHER superstar was able to secure a decision...therefore, this match...is a DRAW. -The crowd boos at that, as Colgate herself cannot believe Rarity didn't give up.-

Crowd: OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME! OVER-TIME!

-Instead of giving the crowd what they want, Colgate rolls out of the ring, and walks up the ramp in frustration. The crowd boos her, as Rarity is left clutching at her mouth in the ring, a bit of blood leaking onto her hands. The crowd, however, could NOT have been any happier about the outcome of the match...UNTIL the end.-

*Commercial*

*REDACTED THEME* -A few boos-

Announcer: The following is a six person MIXED...tag team match, and it is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Making her way to the ring...from CRYSTALVILLE...weighing in at 129 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAAANNCCEEEEEE!

The sky turns to a different shade of blue... -Mostly crowd cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...HER partners! At a combined weight of 421 POOOUUNDSSS...Shining Armor...and Flash SEEENNTTRRRYYYY...THE BROOOMAANNSSS!

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

-Flash Sentry uses the ropes to jump into the ring, as Shining Armor kisses his girlfriend good luck. There are small chants of "YOU DESERVE BETTER" being directing towards Shining Armor-

*REDACTED THEME* -Mostly boos-

Announcer: Aaaanndd...their opponents! FIRST...at a combined weight of 402 POOOUUNDSSSS...Snips...and Snails...SLLLLLLIIIIMEEEE...

-Snips and Snails sneak to the ring, but stop at the end of the ramp as they await for their tag team partner.-

And now...it's all over now... -If there are boos, you can't hear them over the cheers-

Announcer: Aaaannddd...THEIR partner! From CAANTTERRLLOOTT...weighing in at 143 POOOUUNNDSSS...SUN...SEEEEETT...SHIMMER!

Crowd: SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET! SUN-SET!

-Trending now on Twitter: "Swirlanaitis", "#SadRumble", and "#WHATATWIST"

-Snips and Snails look at Sunset for confirmation, and in response, Sunset growls at them and points at the ring. Snips and Snails quickly scurry in as Sunset walks around the ring, stalking her opponents, but mostly Cadance. She slowly enters the ring, and kisses HER boyfriend on the lips, before delivering a VISCOUS slap to Cadance. Cadance retaliates by tackling Sunset to the mat and leveling her with punches. Flash puts his arms up in defense as Shining Armor leads him out of the ring-

Shining: Let's just...let them do their thing...

Main Event: Sunset Shimmer, Snips, and Snails vs Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flash Sentry

-19 minutes later-

1...2...- -Shining Armor breaks up Snails' pin on Flash at the last second. Sunset grabs Shining by his legs, causing him to fall to the mat, and DRAGS him out of the ring. Shining mistakes her for Snips, and is about to hit her, but quickly recoils his fist. This didn't phase Sunset in the LEAST. Sunset leans forward, and plants a LOOOONNGGG kiss on Shining's cheek. The crowd cheers at this.-

Crowd: SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE! SHE'S THE ONE!

-Shining grabs his cheek, shocked by this, and continues to look into Sunset's eyes, dumbfounded. Sunset continues to look into Shining's eyes with a lustful smirk. In the ring, Flash Sentry sees the whole thing happening, and leans over the rope, screaming-

Flash: HEY! THAT'S MY GIRL, MAN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO- -Flash is caught off guard as Snips suddenly lifts him into the air for a German Suplex. Snails, as Flash is being lifted over Snips' head, leaps off of the top rope, and lands a flying leg-drop on Flash's neck. And thus, the first ever German Suplex/Flying Leg-drop combo was born. Shining continues to be entranced by Sunset as the referee counts.-

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers as Sunset bumps Shining's arm as she runs past him. She quickly motions Snips and Snails to follow her, and they do as they roll out of the ring. Snips and Snails jump over the barricade, and so does Sunset, but she stops for a moment to sit on it. She salutes Cadance, who had also saw the scene unfold, but was to shocked to do anything. Sunset puts her other leg over the barricade and runs off with her two lackeys. Cadance takes one betrayed look at Shining, who has a sad yet confused look on his face, and jumps over the barricade in pursuit of Sunset Shimmer. Shining grabs his head with his two hands, and SQUEEZES in frustration. He looks into the ring, and sees Flash Sentry holding his neck and staring at him with the same fury Cadance just had. Shining goes into the ring, and tries to console Flash.-

Shining: I'm sorry, man...I'm sorry. -He helps Flash up- I didn't even know it was coming...it all happened so fa- -Flash dejectedly pushes Shining out of his way. The crowd "OOOHH's" as Flash leaves the ring, and takes the LONG and lonely walk up the ramp. Shining sits down in the ring, sadly watching Flash go.-

*Commercial*

-As we return from commercial, General Manager Luna and Star Swirlanaitis are in the ring. There are two podiums, one on each side of them. Most of the Superstars of Lunacy are lined up across all 4 sides of the ring, minus Sparkler, Twist, Sunset Shimmer, Snips, Snails, and Cadance.-

Luna: As promised last week, to close out the show...the first ever championship DEBATE shall be conducted in this ring. We both know the two combatants representing Lunacy in their main event at proving Grounds know how to debate with their fists...but how will they do in THIS sort of environment? A VERBAL debate?

Swirlanaitis: I'd like to think they will EXCEL, as they've BOTH been doing their fair share of talking over the past few weeks...ironically, in THIS very ring...with each other!

Luna: And THAT is what this debate is going to decide. Who makes the better points. Who will decide that? -Luna gestures around the ring- The many talented men and women of Lunacy...-Turf turns towards the crowd, and points at herself because SHE'S SPECIAL- One of the members of Lunacy's roster that surrounds this ring will raise their hand when they have a question to toss out there for debate. We will only take THREE questions, so make them good.

Swirlanaitis: With the guidelines out of the way...please welcome out first...the REIGNING...DEFENDING...FIRST EVER Eternal Women's Champion in Lunacy HISTORY! -The crowd has already begun cheering- LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLightning Dust!

Welcome to the Danger Zone! -The crowd cheers even louder when Lightning Dust makes her way on the stage, holding up her title with both hands for all to see.-

Crowd: LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST! LIGHT-NING DUST!

-Lightning Dust walks down to ringside, eyeing potential opponents for the future. Scootaloo and Berry Punch move out of her way, and Lightning Dust tries to intimidate Scootaloo by bobbing her neck closer to her face. When Scootaloo doesn't laugh, Lightning Dust cackles and enters the ring. She skips the hand-shakes with the General Manager and the EVP, and walks to her podium. She steps onto the platform connecting the podium, and places her championship on the top of it, making it lean against the microphone.-

Swirlanaitis: And...her opponent this Sunday -the crowd has already begun to boo-...the CHALLENGER! Being joined in this debate...by her little brother Spike...TTTTTTTTTTTTTwilIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHTTTTTTTTT...SPARKLE!

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head... -The crowd boos even more as Twilight and Spike come through the curtain. Twilight and Spike wave at the fans with huge smiles on their faces, and Twilight gives a nod to Scootaloo. Berry Punch takes her case of beer off of the steel steps so Twilight and Spike can climb them and enter the ring. Lightning Dust rolls her eyes as both Twilight and her brother shake the hands that Lightning Dust WOULDN'T shake. Twilight gets onto her podium, as Spike stands by the bottom of it.-

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Luna: Alright...now that both of the participants for the big title match are in attendance...ladies...do you have any opening statements?

Twilight: I in fact do, Princess Luna. -Turns to face the camera- Good evening to the fans of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. -Crowd boos- My name..is Twilight Sparkle, and I am very humbled to be out here in front of all of you to speak my mind on the topics that the men and women of Lunacy present me with. I am looking forward to representing Lunacy in their main event in 6 days at Proving Grounds, and I am excited to have a honorable and invigorating debate with my opponent for Proving Grounds. -Nods- Thank you.

Crowd: BO-OOORING! BOO-OOORING! BO-OOORING! BO-OOORING!

Lightning Dust: -With her head rested on a hand like in Math class- Okay, so...we've been talking for WEEKS about the SAME DAMN CRAP, so I don't really see the point in having a DEBATE when we've already DEBATED...But I'll humor the entire event and play along. Just don't start complaining if this gets repetitive...

Luna: Thank you, ladies. Now...who would like to ask the first question?

-Scootaloo raises her hand. Luna hands her the mic-

Scootaloo: Heh...I feel like I'm back in Elementary school...okay, I'll keep this very simple. What will you pledge to do as Eternal Women's champion?

Lightning Dust: What the hell is this? POLITICS?! -Clears her throat- "Vote for Lightning Dust on Proposition "HOLY HELL THIS WAS A BAD IDEA"...I never had sexual relations with that moose." -The crowd cheers at Lightning's response-

Luna: Lightning! PLEASE...answer the question.

Lightning: Yeah, yeah, okay...I'LL keep this VEEEEEERRRRRRYYY SIIIMMMPPLLLE. As Eternal Women's Champion, I pledge to be the greatest champion any of you in attendance will ever witness. I will be UNSTOPPABLE, UNBEATABLE, and UNQUENCHABLE in my thirst to be THE BEST.

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: Those are all claims I would EXPECT from someone as ego-maniacal as Lightning Dust...

Lightning: EGO-MANIAC?! Sister, YOU'RE the one out here being all formal and polite. "Ohhhh, my name is Twilight Sparrrrrrrrkle...giggle giggle...cheer me, fans! Cheer me! PLEEEEAASSEEEE CHEEEERRR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" It's sad, even for you...you look like an idiot, you SOUND like an idiot, and yet you don't SEE what everyone else is seeing. You just think you're hot shit since you know big words and are an easy candidate to play Hero. Fuck off. Stop rubbing this so-called "intellect" in everyone's face...because honestly, you don't look smart to me...you look like a damn FOOL.

Twilight: -Clears her throat- As I was saying...-Folds her hands on the top of the podium- As Eternal Women's Champion, I promise to build up the credibility that the championship has been so far been CLEARLY lacking-

Lightning: Excuse me? I beat 19 other women on the FIRST night of the company's history to win this title. Get that shit out of here!

Twilight: You won it by cheating, and you haven't won a match SINCE winning the championship. The credibility of the title goes down every time you enter this ring.

Lightning: Whatever...bring up your same old tired and drawn-out points to work with. -Folds her arms and lays her head down-

Twilight: I will also, as champion...take on ALL comers. I WILL NOT use underhanded means to retain my title, or to insult the hard work of the superstar I am facing to get where they are. Everybody will get a fair shot. I will even request that Lightning Dust be given a rematch should I beat her.

Lightning: Well DAAAAAAMMMNNN...-Mock praise- THANK YOU, Twilight! I mean, it's not like that's already a RULE or anything...

Luna: Do you have a rebuttal to Twilight's response, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: I've already mocked everything she's said. I feel content.

Luna: Anything else you'd like to add, Twilight?

Twilight: No thank you, Princess Luna. -Smiles-

Luna: Who would like to ask the next question, in that case?

-Neon Lights raises his hand without any hesitation. He GRABS the mic out of Luna's grasp.-

Lightning: Who the hell is this guy? Why is he asking ME a question!

Twilight: That is Neon Lights. Shame you don't know your fellow superstars...

Lightning: Oh well EXCUSE me for not being "Ms. Popular"...-to Neon Lights- Well? You got stage fright or something? SPIT IT OUT!

Neon: -Nearly drops the mic. Lightning Dust snickers at the clumsy display- Yo, so check it out, babes...

Lightning: What you got for me, STUD?

Neon: Heh...anything you want, baby.

Lightning: Aye! How about we keep this a PG debate there, bro?

Neon: I got ya. -Winks- Hey so...there are TWO divisions here in the EWF. The women's, and the male's. And we both have a title that we ALL want to get our hands on...so...this is more of an OPINIONATED question. Which championship do you think is more important? The Eternal for the WOMEN, or the Carnage for the MEN?

Lightning: Well, obviously the title that I'M wearing.

Twilight: That is BEYOND narcissistic.

Lightning: I wasn't DONE yet. Don't get your training bra in a knot...-more crowd cheers- I'm defending the title at Proving Grounds in the MAIN EVENT. Rumble vs Overdrive? They're not going to be the MAIN EVENT, as MUCH as they might WANT to be. Everybody is buying a ticket, or watching Proving Grounds at home to see ME...defend MY title...

Twilight: That's debatable.

Lightning: Yeah? That's why this is a DEBATE, genius. As much as I don't like Twilight, I've got to give her credit...she's done a BANG-UP job getting everybody to hate her SO MUCH...that they'll watch this pay per view just to see me kick her ASS. The Eternal Women's Championship is the biggest prize in the EWF...no matter WHO holds it, it still is. But with ME carrying it around everywhere I go? -Chuckles- It's got a LOT more value to it...

Luna: Your response, Twilight?

Twilight: I believe that both of the main titles on Lunacy are one in the same. Yes, Rumble vs Overdrive isn't going to be the Main Event, but it IS a main event worthy match, and who is to say a match to decide the Champion of Carnage won't be a Pay Per View main event in the near future?

Lightning: With YOU as the champion? Probably. With ME as the champion? Fat chance.

Twilight:...Both divisions, the male AND female, have a POPULOUS amount of talent that make up each division. If we are speaking from a more technical point of view...

Lightning: Oh god...

Twilight: The match between Overdrive and Rumble...actually means MORE. It will involve the crowning of the FIRST ever Champion of Carnage. A legend will be born, which would be the championship itself. But ANOTHER legend, either Rumble or Overdrive, could be born HIMSELF.

Lightning: Nuh uh. No way! There is NO WAY a match not involving me will EVER get top billing. Even if I'm NOT the champion...I should STILL be the main event!

Twilight: Rumble and Overdrive are both AMAZING competitors...and I wish them both good luck in their match.

-Overdrive gives Twilight a thumbs-up, as Rumble has had his back leaning against the apron this entire segment. He is not there mentally, as he mourns the loss of his cell phone-

Luna: Anything else to say, Lightning Dust?

Lightning: -Groans- No...let's just get this over with.

Luna: Twilight?

Twilight: No, ma'am.

Luna: It all comes down to this, then...one FINAL question. Who would like to ask it? -Nobody raises their hand-

Siwlranaitis: I have a question to ask...

Lightning: I have a question for YOU...where'd you get your pants? They look pretty snazzy...

Swirlanaitis: Thanks! Uh...Old Navy. My question for you two...is a DOOZY...what do you think...TRUTHFULLY...of your opponent? -Lightning Dust and Twilight look at each other. All bets are now off.-

Twilight: I believe Lightning Dust is a thief, that is MUCH too full-of-herself for her own good. She puts herself on SUCH a high pedestal, that it will be DISASTROUS for her when she is eventually knocked off of it. I do not feel she is WORTHY of being the FIRST Eternal Women's Champion, and that she has STAINED the record book with her less-than-admirable reign as champion. She has robbed OTHER hard workers...like Scootaloo, the chance to be where she is. And for THAT...I will be absolutely EUPHORIC to take that title away from her, and give the REAL workhorses the chance to live their moment.

-Lightning Dust out of nowhere JUMPS off of her podium, and pushes it to the mat-

Lightning: Another STUPID question! Why the hell does this segment even EXIST? There was NO REASON for it! Everybody already KNOWS what we were going to say! Everyone already KNOWS that I think Twilight is a delusional, half-witted, not-as-smart-as-she-thinks-she-is, fake-ass, bogus, artificial PHONY. But LIKE I SAID...THEY already KNEW that! You know what I think? I think that at Proving Grounds, all this mindless talk is going to stop, and we're going to see who can talk with their FISTS! I think-no, no! I KNOW, that I'm going to walk into Proving Grounds, KICK Twilight Sparkle's ASS, and walk out with MY TITLE! I KNOW it doesn't MATTER HOW many matches you LOSE, as long as you win the BIG one; the one that COUNTS! And the BIG match...the one that COUNTS? Is THIS SUNDAY! SIX DAYS! I KNOW I don't give a damn what any of these talent-less hacks -spins around the ring- CARE about ME! I KNOW I'm the only one whose opinion MATTERS! I KNOW that after I'm done with Sparkle, one of THESE assholes is going to face me next! And one by one by one by one by ONE! THEY'LL ALL SUFFER THE SAME FATE...being DOMINATED...by the BEST superstar in this COMPANY! I KNOW that NONE of them can hold a CANDLE to me! In the RING, on the MIC, in the GYM-I'VE WORKED HARDER! THAN ANYBODY! FOR! THIS! SPOT! MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE HAD TO TAKE A BACK-SEAT TO EVERYBODY! AND NOW I'M FINALLY IN THE LIME-LIGHT! I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOMEBODY TAKE THIS ALL AWAY FROM ME! I'VE BARELY GOTTEN A CHANCE TO LET THIS SINK IN! You can't BEAT...A DESPERATE WOMAN, TWILIGHT! AND I'M DESPERATE! I'LL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES TO TEAR YOU DOWN! I WILL CHEAT! AND IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU WOULD, TOO! You may be BOOK-SMART...but I'm RING-SMART! I know what it will take to keep this title! And if I have to pull it out...I WILL! IF YOU'RE NOT READY FOR IT...THAN IT SUCKS TO BE YOU! EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE HAS LED UP TO THIS SUNDAY, AND I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...DISAPPOINT! I WILL...NOT...-

-On the other side of the ring, Rumble has just shoved Overdrive shoulder-first into the steel post, in revenge for his recent actions. All the other male superstars try to restrain him, but Horsepower comes over and shoves them all to the ground. Horsepower roars, but he is caught off guard as Overdrive SPEARS him through the barricade, and into the timekeeper's area. By now, Twilight and Lightning Dust have stopped talking, and are watching the action unfold. On the OTHER side, Scootaloo jumps onto the steel steps from the other side, and takes out Silver Spoon with a Tornado DDT. The crowd is now going wild. Berry Punch knocks Turf into the barricade with a barrage of fierce uppercuts, and then stomps a dirt-hole on her while she's still down by the barricade. Flitter is using Gizmo for a shield to protect herself from Midnight Strike, but Cloudchaser knocks Midnight down from behind. Flitter pushes Gizmo away, and stomps down on Midnight with Cloudchaser. Flash Sentry and Shining Armor are having a heated argument, which turns into a shoving match, and soon, into an all-out brawl. Shining tackles Flash to the ground, and they are soon jocking for position. Fancy Pants and Gustave are standing there, laughing at the commoners fight, when all of a sudden, Happy Trails and Braeburn LAUNCH themselves over the barricade and onto their opponents. Fleur De Lis looks on in fear as Braeburn and Happy pull out two steel chairs from under the ring, and use them to deliver a Con-Chair-To to both members of EGO.-

-In the ring, Twilight is cold-clocked from behind with the Eternal Women's title by Lightning Dust, who took the opportunity to knock her opponent out as she was watching the chaos ensue. Lightning quickly exits the ring, and runs all the way up onto the stage. The show ends with nearly the entire Lunacy roster brawling, and Lightning Dust holding her title up and gazing up at it as Swirlanaitis, Luna, and Spike check on Twilight Sparkle.-

*End Show*

Quick Results: Turf defeated Scootaloo (Pinfall)
Dance Fever defeated Rumble (Interference from Overdrive)
Sparkler defeated Twist (NUDITY) (But lost in the end due to RAPE)
Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser defeated Gizmo (Pinfall)
Rarity vs Colgate ended in a Draw
Snips, Snails, and Sunset Shimmer defeated Flash Sentry, Shining Armor, and Cadance

Matches for Proving Grounds:
Eternal Women's World Championship: Twilight Sparkle vs Lightning Dust (C)
Champion of Carnage: Overdrive vs Rumble
Crater Chick Championship: Sunset Shimmer vs Cadance
Chick Combo Championship: Berry Punch & Scootaloo vs Silver Spoon & Turf
Combo of Carnage Championship: Gustave Le Grand & Fancy Pants vs Happy Trails & Braeburn (Inter-Promotional)
Intergender Match: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Hugh Jelly, Clip Clop, and Midnight Strike
Snips & Snails vs Flash Sentry & Shining Armor

-The pyro blasts off, the fans cheer louder than ever knowing the Proving Grounds in near-
Dr. Whooves: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this edition of Sublime, where Proving Grounds is just around the corner. Tonight's line up includes a last minute number one contender's match to determine who will face Thunderlane for the World Brawler's Chamionship and the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament.
*Redacted Theme*
-Crowd boos-
Discord: And here comes our Sublime Tag Team Champions, Beauty Shot.
-Photo Finish and Pretty Vision enter the ring, proudly wearing their title belts-
Photo Finish: Oh no, please, do not let me interrupt your petty booing. It's amusing to me.
-Chants of "You Suck! You Suck! You Suck!" are heard, but eventually die down as they get no further reaction from Photo Finish-
Photo Finish: Now that you all have finally shut your ugly mouths, it's my turn to speak. I have graced you all with my presence in the ring so you may bask in the success of Sublime's dominant and only notable tag team. As I'm sure you all have seen, this show is seriously lacking in the tag team talent department. Let's take one look at our other teams: The Ghost Girls? Pathetic...they can't fight, they have no good looks to show off, and lastly there is no reason for anybody to care about them. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch? They have a minor amount of fighting ability, but are oh so stupid. I could outwit them every single week if necessary. Oh, and let's not forget Beauty Shot's opponents for the upcoming Pay-Per-View, Aloe and Lotus Blossom. The most pathetic of them all, they care more about their well polished nails then they do about winning, they wouldn't of even gotten to this point without our help. Defeating them will be the easiest thing yet.
*Redacted Theme*
Dr. Whooves: Thank God, here comes Octavia and Vinyl Scratch to shut this woman up.
Vinyl Scratch: What are you out here bragging about Photo Finish? You've only had ONE victory, and you cheated to get it.
Photo Finish: It's still one more victory than you two have earned so far. Also our, quote un-quote, "Cheating" is what got us this. *Taps Title belt*
Pretty Vision: Yeah, we deserve these!
Photo Finish: Silence, I will handle this.
Pretty Vision: Sorry...
Vinyl Scratch: Why don't you let her talk? She seems a lot smarter than you are.
Photo Finish: I'd like to see if you have the nerve to insult me from inside the ring.
Vinyl Scratch: Have it your way. -Her and Octavia begin approaching the ring-
Discord: Very bad idea. I already know how this is going to go down.
Dr. Whooves: Care to enlighten us?
Discord: That would be spoiling.
-Vinyl Scratch and Octavia enter the ring-
Vinyl Scratch: Alright, you want insults? You're nothing but a cheating hack, I don't think you could win a single match without doing something dirty, and Octavia and I are going to prove that tonight. We've already went to General Manager Celestia, and we're facing you in the main event tonight.
Photo Finish: I look forward to it. *Removes title belt* But I'd like to see how well you fight after this.
-Photo Finish swings her title belt at Vinyl Scratch, but she ducks under and hits *Redacted*, Pretty Vision tries to get away in confusion but is hit by *Redacted* from Octavia-
Dr. Whooves: I think this is the first time on Sublime we've seen Beauty Shot not in control, tonight's main event could end up being a big momentum breaker for them. Although Octavia was strangely quiet during all this time.
Discord: She didn't have the chance to talk because Vinyl wouldn't shut her big mouth.
Dr. Whooves: Let's just hope her speaking ability isn't any indication of her wrestling ability tonight. Regardless, it's nearly time for our first match. A rematch of a battle from week one, where Braeburn and Happy Trails defeated Canterlot Class to become the number one contenders for the Combos of Carnage tag team titles. A win here tonight will certainly grant some momentum.
Discord: Which they already started to build on this week's edition of Monday night Lunacy.
-A replay of Braeburn and Happy Trail's attack on EGO from Lunacy plays on the titantron-
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 398 pounds, Canterlot Class!
Dr. Whooves: Here comes Canterlot Class, and both Prince Blueblood and Hoity Toity look hungry for revenge.
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined 409 pounds, the team of Braeburn and Happy Trails!
-Braeburn and Happy Trails make their way down to the ring, clearly having the fans behind them-
Match 1: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails
*9 Minutes later*
-Braeburn and Happy Trails are on the verge of victory when Hoity Toity pushes the referee out of the ring from behind, temporarily knocking him out, Prince Blueblood then hits Happy Trails upside the head with his scepter, Braeburn moves in to help his partner but is hit with *Redacted* by Hoity Toity, the ref gets back up and re-enters the ring as Prince Blueblood pins Happy Trails-
*1...2...3!*
-Loud booing-
Announcer: Here are your winners, Canterlot Class!
Dr. Whooves: Well, as cheap of a revenge as it was, Canterlot Class has won their rematch.
Discord: There's no better way to win than cheaply. Who wants a costly victory?
-Canterlot Class exits the ring with arrogant smirks plastered on their faces-
*Commercial*
-The camera cuts to backstage where Babs Seed is sitting on a sofa, casually sipping soda and watching TV, Commander Hurricane enters the room-
Commander Hurricane: Attention peasant, I have a job for you.
Babs Seed: Huh? Oh it's you...what do ya want?
Commander Hurricane: I have a rather large gladiator match to deal with at the gathering this Sunday, with 9 other opponents I may require reinforcements. Time to repay your debt.
Babs Seed: Awww...what's da matter? Big bad warrior needs her hand held? Get ya guards to do it, there's nothin' in this deal for me.
-Commander Hurricane grabs Babs Seed by the collar of her shirt and lifts her into the air, spilling her soda in the process-
Commander Hurricane: Do not cross me you fool...I could easily do to you the same thing I did to your rival.
Babs Seed: Ok...ok...I'll help ya if ya need it...just put me down...Jesus Christ.
-Commander Hurricane roughly drops Babs Seed-
Commander Hurricane: Remember your place. -Walks out-
-Babs Seed sits there looking ruffled and frowns down at what's left of her drink-
Babs Seed: She spilled my soda...
*She felt the wind and longed to follow*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, approaching the ring, accompanied by Soarin, standing six foot tall and weighing 159 pounds, from Cloudsdale, Spitfire!
-Spitfire and Soarin make their way down to the ring together-
Spitfire: Try to pay attention to the MATCH this time and maybe you might actually WIN your next one.
Soarin: Hey now...I...uhhh...umm...yeah, I got nothing to argue with.
-Spitfire kisses Soarin and then enters the ring-
Soarin: She tells me to pay attention to the match and then she does THAT.
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!
Match 2: Spitfire vs. Nurse Redheart
*5 minutes later*
-Spitfire hits *Redacted* on Nurse Redheart and pins-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Spitfire!
-Spitfire slides out of the ring-
Spitfire: Hope you watched and learned.
Soarin: Oh yeah, I payed real good attention...*Mumbles* but not to the match. Hehe.
Dr. Whooves: What a dominant performance by Spitfire tonight, she'll be one to watch in that Battle Royal at Proving Grounds.
Discord: Pfftt...like anyone could be Commander Hurricane.
Dr. Whooves: Why Commander Hurricane?
Discord: She is supreme overlord, or over-lady, whatever...
Dr. Whooves: Oh please.
*Now trending on Twitter: #SpilledSoda #CanterlotClass #"Paying attention"*
Discord: About to begin is our number one contender's match for the World Brawler's Championship, and I heard rumors we have a rather unique wrestler debuting tonight.
Dr. Whooves: As if we don't have enough "unique" characters already.
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: And now approaching the ring, from Manhattan, weighing in at 197 pounds, standing five foot, seven inches tall, Pipsqueak!
-Pipsqueak enters the ring dressed up like a pirate, eye-patch and all, there's a few cheers, but mostly laughs-
Discord: Oh would you look at that? A British Pirate!
Dr. Whooves: Just shut up.
-The sound of flames fill the arena, followed by vaguely creepy music in the background, Doughnut Joe enters the arena with a "glazed over" look in his eyes,behind him he pulls something on wheels covered by a giant table cloth-
Dr. Whooves: Is that Doughnut Joe? The hell? And I thought Pipsqueak was our "unique wrestler"!
Discord: This will undoubtedly be good.
Match 3: Pipsqueak vs. Doughnut Joe
Dr. Whooves: It looks like were now being joined by the current World Brawler's Champion, Thunderlane.
Thunderlane: Don't mind me, I'm just here to watch the freak-show.
Discord: Which one of these two would you be more scared to end up in the ring with at Proving Grounds?
Thunderlane: Scared isn't the right word Discord, I might be confused by all the weirdness for a moment, but I will not be for one second intimidated by either of them.
*12 minutes later*
-Pipsqueak is hit by *Pre-Heat!* and is stumbling backwards, giving Doughnut Joe the chance to hit *Baker's Dozen* on him, Pipsqueak goes down and Doughnut Joe takes the pin-
*1...2...3*
Announcer: Here's your winner, and the number one contender for the World Brawler's Championship, Dou-
-Doughnut Joe takes the mic away from the announcer-
Doughnut Joe: I am not Doughnut Joe...from now on I will be known as...the Underrrrrr Bakerrrrrr!
-Under Baker leaves the ring and removes the table cloth from the thing he rolled in, revealing a giant fake oven filled with doughnuts and other assorted pastries, he then re-enters the ring and picks up Pipsqueak, proceeding to toss him into the oven-
Under Baker: Rrrrrrest...in...PASTRIES!
-Under Baker suddenly turns around and gives Thunderlane a creepy smile-
Thunderlane: Uhhh...I just remembered I had a really important thing to get to...I'll be going now.
-Thunderlane leaves as Under Baker continues to be creepy-
Dr. Whooves: That was the most bizarre thing I've yet seen on Sublime.
Discord: I'm glad Under Baker showed up, finally somebody I can relate to!
Dr. Whooves: You should quit commentary and join him in a tag team.
Discord: Nah, somebody has to balance your BORING blabbing out.
*Commercial*
-Commander Hurricane enters Celestia's office backstage-
Commander Hurricane: You summoned me?
Celestia: Yes, I did. We have a few things to discuss.
Commander Hurricane: Like your surrendering command of Sublime to me?
Celestia: Not in this life. Sit down.
-Commander Hurricane sneers but takes a seat-
Celestia: There's been some...concern...from your fellow wrestlers about your behavior backstage.
Commander Hurricane: They should be concerned, but what exactly are they crying about?
Celestia: Apparently you don't do much but walk around with your guards aggressively intimidating others to try and get what you want.
Commander Hurricane: And? I'm trying to establish dominance, I'm not the only one.
Celestia: True, but nobody else here or on Lunacy has a pack of armored guards with weapons. I just wanted to let you know that I've decided that your guards will be banned from ringside at Proving Grounds.
Commander Hurricane: What? How dare you?! You don't have the authority!
Celestia: I have every authority. I am General Manager, your rank means nothing "Commander".
Commander Hurricane: Grrrrrr...fine! I have a backup plan installed anyways.
-Commander Hurricane storms out of the office, Celestia returns to her paperwork undisturbed-
-The camera switches to backstage, just behind the arena, where Rainbow Dash and Applejack meet up-
Applejack: Ah had the feelin' ah'd be runnin' into ya sometime durin' this tournament.
Rainbow Dash: Honestly I'd much rather be fighting Trixie, but at least you'll put up a better fight. It'll make a more awesome victory to go into Proving Grounds with.
Applejack: Pfttt..ya speak like you're actually gonna win.
Rainbow Dash: Of course I will, you might be a friend, but I'm going all in.
Applejack: We'll see about that.
-The two give each other competitive glares before going separate ways-
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one-fall, and is part of the semi-finals of the World Fighter's Championship tournament, now making her way to the ring, weighing 151 pounds, standing five foot, ten inches tall, from Loneyville, Applejack!
*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, on her way to the ring, from Clouds dale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!
Match 4: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Rainbow Dash
*18 minutes later*
Dr. Whooves: This has been an incredible display of skill by both competitors thus far, both these women are showing that they are championship material.
-Applejack Irish Whips Rainbow Dash into a corner and starts raining down punches on her, she then sets Rainbow Dash up on the top rope and starts setting up for a big move, but Rainbow Dash counters and shoves Applejack down to the mat-
Dr. Whooves: Rainbow Dash is setting up, I think we know what's coming next.
*Sonic Raindrop*
Discord: And that's why you do NOT try and fight a high flyer on the top ropes. It gets you owned.
-Rainbow Dash follows up the Sonic Raindrop with a pin-
*1...2...3*
Announcer: Here is your winner, advancing to the final match of the World Fighter's Tournament at Proving Grounds, Rainbow Dash!
-Rainbow Dash celebrates in the ring, garnering large amounts of cheers from the crowd-
*Commercial*
Dr. Whooves: Last match determined that Rainbow Dash will be going on to Proving Grounds to fight for the World Fighter's Championship, the next match will determine her opponent, will it be Trixie or the latecomer Daring Do?
*Trixie's music plays, the crowd cheers as the impressive pyro goes off, but boos as she begins to speak*
Trixie: The following match is part of the semi-finals for the World Fighter's Championship Tournament, now approaching the ring, from the city of Manhattan, standing at an incredible five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a precise 140 pounds, the undoubtable victor of the upcoming fight, the GRRRRRREEEEEEEAT AND POWERRRRRFUL TRRRRRRRRIXIE!
Dr. Whooves: Trixie has proven herself to be in the upper echelon of Sublime the past few weeks, Daring Do is going to have to struggle for this one, but if she can avoid that deadly Ursa Lock there may be a chance.
*Never Back Down*
-Daring Do walks down the ramp, getting nearly as much of a pop as last week, as she makes her way to the ring she signs a few auto-graphs and even throws her explorer's hat into the crowd-
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Daring Do
*15 minutes later*
-Trixie has already kicked out of two of Daring Do's finishers, while Daring Do has been carefully avoiding giving Trixie any chance to use the Ursa Lock up to this point, Daring Do hits *Redacted* on Trixie and heads for the top rope-
Dr. Whooves: Looks like Daring Do is ready to put Trixie away.
-Daring Do goes for a high flying move, but Trixie rolls out of the way-
Discord: High risk, high fail.
-Trixie moves in for the Ursa Lock, Daring Do tries to frantically get away but is unable to stop Trixie from locking it in-
Dr. Whooves: Oh no, Trixie has the Ursa Lock, this spells doom for Daring Do.
-Daring Do puts all her strength into trying to reach the ropes, but to no avail, after about a minute and ten second she taps out-
Trixie: Here's your winner,by way of submission, moving on to the finals at Proving Grounds, the future World Fighter's Champion, the GRRRREEEEAT AND POWERRRRFULL TRRRRIXIE!
-Trixie leaves the ring, afterwards Commander Hurricane emerges with her entourage and surrounds the weakened Daring Do in the ring-
Dr. Whooves: Oh God, leave the poor woman alone. She's had enough.
Discord: One doesn't defy Commander Hurricane and get away with it.
Commander Hurricane: On your feet Plebeian!
-Daring Do slowly manages to stand, only to be immediately hit with Commander Hurricane's helmet, Commander Hurricane takes off the turnbuckle padding and drags Daring Do over to it and starts slamming her face into it repeatedly, eventually causing her to bleed, Commander Hurricane then throws her out of the ring and climbs out of the ring herself to grab a steel chair-
Dr. Whooves: Commander Hurricane is just psychotic, there's no call for this brutality!
-After working Daring Do over with the steel chair Commander Hurricane has two of her guards carry Daring Do over towards the announce table, they lift her high up into the air before slamming her through it-
-Very loud boos fill the arena-
-Commander Hurricane re-enters the ring and picks up a mic-
Commander Hurricane: Let me give you surfs a quick history lesson. A long time ago I was the leader of the greatest empire Equestria ever knew, an empire that was glorious, respected, and feared! It was an empire that was eventually overthrown by plebeians like her! *Points at Daring Do* Now I have the chance to build a new empire, and this time history will not repeat itself. This new empire will not be stopped by anyone, definitely not pathetic weaklings like your little hero Daring Do! At Proving Grounds, I will brutalize every single opponent in a similar manner if it's what I must do. Commander Hurricane will rule Sublime, one championship at a time.
Discord: The Commander has spoken, now our sponsors take their turn. We'll be back soon for our main event, Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch
*Commercial*
*Dubstep/Classical Mix*
Announcer: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, now approaching the ring, weighing a combined 290 pounds, the team of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch!
Dr. Whooves: This is another rematch from the first week of Sublime, where Beauty Shot defeated Octavia and Vinyl Scratch through various underhanded means, this is Octavia and Vinyl's chance for revenge and to soften up Beauty Shot for Aloe and Lotus Blossom.
*Redacted Theme*
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Beauty Shot!
Main Event: Beauty Shot vs. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia
*21 Minutes later*
-Vinyl Scratch is hit by *Redacted* from Photo Finish-
*1...2...-Kick-out!-*
Dr. Whooves: Vinyl just barely hanging on.
-Vinyl Scratch crawls towards the ropes, desperate to make the tag, but at the last second Octavia jumps down from the ropes and starts walking away, the crowd boos her-
Dr. Whooves: What?!
Discord: -Laughs- That's teamwork right there.
Dr. Whooves: I can't believe this, Octavia is leaving her tag team partner to suffer at the hands of Beauty Shot.
-Photo Finish smiles cruelly-
Photo Finish: Look at that Vinyl Scratch, your partner made the smart move and left, now you're all alone.
-Photo Finish picks Vinyl Scratch up and hits *Redacted* again, and goes for another pin-
*1...2...3!*
Announcer: Here are your winners, Beauty Shot!
Dr. Whooves: I just don't believe it...Octavia betrayed her best friend, for no good reason!
Discord: There's always a reason, you probably won't like it though.
Dr. Whooves: Nothing could justify that. But it looks like an explanation will have to wait for next week, we're out of time. We'll see you at Proving Grounds!
-The show ends with Beauty Shot taunting Vinyl Scratch-
Match Results:
Match 1: Canterlot Class vs. Braeburn and Happy Trails Canterlot Class won
Match 2: Spitfire vs. Nurse Redheart Spitfire won
Match 3: Pipsqueak vs. Under Baker Under Baker won
Match 4: Tournament Match, Applejack vs. Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash won
Match 5: Tournament Match, Trixie vs. Daring Do Trixie won
Main Event: Beauty Shot vs. Octavia and Vinyl Scratch Beauty Shot won
Tournament Status:
Applejack and Daring Do eliminated
Rainbow Dash and Trixie advancing to finals
Proving Grounds Matches:
World Fighter's Championship: Rainbow Dash vs. Trixie
World Brawler's Championship: Thunderlane vs. Under Baker
Sublime Tag Team Championship: Beauty Shot vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom
International Championship: Ten Woman Battle Royal: Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. Applejack vs. Daring Do
Steel Cage Match: Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed
Combos of Carnage Tag Team Championship: Braeburn and Happy Trails vs. EGO (Inter-Promotional)

1. Trixie Position Change: +2 Last Week:3
2. Scootaloo Position Change: -1 Last Week:1
3. Lightning Dust Position Change: -1 Last Week:2
4. Babs Seed Position Change: +9 Last Week:13
5. Photo Finish Position Change: -1 Last Week:4
6. Pretty Vision Position Change: -1 Last Week:5
7. Overdrive Position Change: +7 Last Week:14
8. Fancy Pants Position Change: 0 Last Week:8
9. Gustave Le Grand Position Change: 0 Last Week:9
10. Braeburn Position Change: 0 Last Week:10
11. Happy Trails Position Change: 0 Last Week:11
12. Pinkie Pie Position Change:-6 Last Week:6
13. Commander Hurricane Position Change:-6 Last Week:7
14. Sunset Shimmer Position Change: -2 Last Week:12
15. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:+7 Last Week:22
16. Apple Bloom Position Change: -1 Last Week:15
17. Cadance Position Change:+7 Last Week:24
18. Diamond Tiara Position Change:-1 Last Week:17
19. Twist Position Change:-3 Last Week:16
20. Flash Sentry Position Change:-2 Last Week:18
21. Shining Armor Position Change:-2 Last Week:19
22. Rainbow Dash Position Change:+6 Last Week:28
23. Colgate Position Change:+6 Last Week:29
24. Turf Position Change:-4 Last Week:20
25. Thunderlane Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
26. Spitfire Position Change:-5 Last Week:21
27. Applejack Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
28. Rarity Position Change: -5 Last Week:23
29. Daring Do Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
30. Berry Punch Position Change: N/A Last Week:N/A
Entering the Power 30-
Thunderlane: Thunderlane entered his debut guns blazing. In his very first match he managed to: Survive a fatal-four-way, pin Big MacIntosh, and win the World Brawler's Championship. Any opponent that is assigned to him at Proving Grounds is in for some bruises.
Applejack: Applejack has advanced through the tournament with a steady stream of victories and is now in the semi-finals of the World Fighter's championship tournament. There's a high possibility she could be the first ever World Fighter's Champion.
Daring Do: The long anticipated debut of Daring Do was not a disappointment. She managed to defeat the seemingly unstoppable Commander Hurricane and propel herself into the semi-finals of Sublime's tournament.
Berry Punch: Just a week ago she was the laughing stock of Lunacy, but this week she has proven herself to be a real fighter, she may be on this list to stay, if she can avoid passing out again.
Leaving the Power 30-
Lotus Blossom and Aloe: Although they are the number one contenders to the Sublime Tag Team Championship, they both only have one win to their name, and not having a match while on the lower part of the power 30 is never safe.
Rumble: Another number one contender loses his spot due to inactivity, however, given this superstar's previous momentum he may not be off the list for long.
Fluttershy: Fluttershy's impressive win last week was overshadowed by her loss to Applejack this week, and sadly for her, there is no way to lose a match and stay on the Power 30 when one is 30th.
Who to look out for-
DJ Zema Ion and Neon Lights: This duo has certainly looked impressive the past few weeks. While not scoring any major victories yet they have shown enough skill to warrant being listed here.
Midnight Strike: Without even having a single win Midnight Strike has shown off an impressive amount of skill in her matches. Perhaps if her match-condemning bad luck streak ever ends she will enter the Power 30.

Our sources are telling us that Sublime superstar Pinkie Pie and Lunacy superstar Sparkler will possibly be repackaged in the very near future.

This is only speculation, but as soon as the next episodes of Lunacy and Sublime, we may be seeing vignettes for Pinkie and Sparkler's new characters. We do find it odd though that EWF management could be looking to revamp these two SPECIFIC characters, especially since they haven't even been on TV for a full MONTH. We see nothing wrong with how they are portrayed currently, but maybe this is apart of something bigger.

*I'm on a slow drain as you watch me burn*

-A fantastic display of pyrotechnics shoot off as the crowd cheers for the first pay per view of the year-

Ahuizotl: Welcome all to the EWF's first ever pay-per-view, Proving Grounds! I'm Lunacy commentator Ahuizotl with my Sublime counterpart, Discord.
Discord: Tonight is bound to be more chaotic than any edition of Lunacy or Sublime, with matches such as Lightning Dust versus Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash versus Trixie, both show's respective world title's are on the line in each.

Ahuizotl: But not only the world titles, but EVERY title will be on the line at some point tonight.

Discord: Personally I've been looking forward to the International Championship title match, a ten woman battle-royal, which should be starting up anytime now.

Announcer: The following match, is a ten woman Battle Royal, and it is for the International Championship!

Match 1: Ten Woman Battle Royal, Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. Applejack vs. Daring Do

*2 minutes later*

-Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie throw Sweet Tooth over the top rope together, but Commander Hurricane hits them with a double clothesline, knocking both of them over as well-

Elimination 1: Sweet Tooth by Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie

Elimination 2: Inkie Pie by Commander Hurricane

Elimination 3: Blinkie Pie by Commander Hurricane

Discord: Commander Hurricane means SERIOUS business.

Ahuizotl: I don't care as long as she eliminates Daring Do.

*3 minutes later*

-Cheerilee has Pinkie Pie up in the corner, ready to eliminate her, but Pinkie Pie slips loose and completely reverses their positions, pushing Cheerilee over instead-
Elimination 4: Cheerilee by Pinkie Pie

Ahuizotl: How did she even do that?!

Discord: It's Pinkie, you never know what crazy crap she's going to pull off next.

*5 minutes later*

-Commander Hurricane is beating on Daring Do when Fluttershy attacks her from behind, Commander Hurricane turns and glares at her-

Fluttershy: Uhh...sorry...*Meep*

-Commander Hurricane hits *Legion* on Fluttershy and then literally throws her out of the ring-

Elimination 5: Fluttershy by Commander Hurricane

Ahuizotl: That's the third elimination by Commander Hurricane so far, she is just rampaging through this match.

*4 minutes later*

-Spitfire goes for a *Broken Formation* on Pinkie Pie but she counters into *Pinkie Sense*, Spitfire stumbles back to the rope where Pinkie Pie goes to push her over, however Spitfire grabs Pinkie Pie and pulls her over the rope with her, Pinkie Pie falls to the floor while Spitfire narrowly manages to grab unto the ropes and pull herself back in-

Elimination 6: Pinkie Pie by Spitfire

Discord: Well what do ya know, the old woman has some speed in her.

Ahuizotl: Old? She's only thirty.

Discord: Like I said, old woman.

*6 minutes later*

-Spitfire charges at Applejack but Applejack ducks and flips her over the top rope-

Elimination 7: Spitfire by Applejack

Ahuizotl: And then there were three.

-Applejack and Daring Do begin teaming up on Commander Hurricane-

Ahuizotl: No Applejack! Don't help Daring Do, she doesn't deserve allies!

-Babs Seed runs into the arena and enters the ring-

Discord: It's alright, Commander Hurricane's reinforcements are here.

-Before being noticed Babs Seed shoves Applejack over the top rope-

Elimination 8: Applejack by Babs Seed

Ahuizotl: That's definitely going to escalate Babs Seed's problems with her relatives.

-Both Commander Hurricane and Babs Seed begin attacking Daring Do-

Ahuizotl: HAHAHAHA! How does it feel Daring?

-Apple Bloom runs into the arena-

Discord: And here come the buzzkill.

-Apple Bloom enters the ring and hits *Redacted* on Babs Seed, Babs Seed rolls out of the ring and starts running while Apple Bloom gives chase-
-Daring Do gets back to her feet and stares down Commander Hurricane-

Discord: And look who we have left in the ring.

Ahuizotl: Tear her a new one Commander.

*7 minutes later*

-Commander Hurricane has Daring Do in the corner and is raining down punches, she then moves Daring Do to the top of the corner and prepares to eliminate her, but Daring Do stuns her with a lucky kick to the face and gets down. Daring Do then hits *Redacted* on Commander Hurricane and shoves her out of the ring-

Elimination 9: Commander Hurricane by Daring Do

Ahuizotl: NOOOOO!

Announcer: And here is your winner, and the first ever International Champion, Daring Do!

Ahuizotl: God dammit.

Discord: Just imagine if she had won the OIL championship.

Ahuizotl: Why does everyone do this to me?

Discord: Because it is fun.

Ahuizotl: That sure was a great opener! Don't you think, Discord?

Discord: I suppose so...why the lack of shenanigans, though?

Ahuizotl: Not every battle royal needs to have everything break down for your own enjoyment.

Discord: I NEED my daily shenanigans!

Ahuizotl: Well, I can promise Monday Night Lunacy will give you JUST that! Speaking of...before Lunacy's first match of the night begins...let's go backstage, with our broadcast colleague, *REDACTED*...

*Interview area*

Interviewer: Thank you, gentlemen. Right now I am here with the Bromans...Shining Armor...and Flash Sentry. -The BroMans are standing side by side their interviewer, refusing to make eye contact with their partner.- BroMans, tonight you face the team of Snips and Snails, recently dubbed "SLIME." In the main event of this past week's episode of Lunacy, SLIME and Sunset Shimmer BEAT you and Cadance, after Sunset...let's say, "distracted" you, Shining-

Shining: What else WOULD you call it?! That's all that happened! She DISTRACTED me!

Interviewer: Well...you COULD'VE looked away-

Shining: I'm a guy, alright! We DO this kind of stuff...

Flash: Well, maybe you should go be a "guy" with your OWN girl, and leave mine be...

Shining: SHE distracted ME. I wasn't wearing a Gimp suit! I did NOTHING to draw attention to her!

Flash: When that bell rings, you need to FOCUS, man...you don't worry about ANY girl in the world until that. Bell. RINGS. We lost because YOU forgot this. You left me high and dry to get my ass WHOOPED, and if you make the same mistake again-

Shining: I WON'T make the same mistake again...

Flash: ...If you DO...we're going to LOSE on PAY PER VIEW. The FIRST Pay Per View. Think about that. Sunset won't be in EITHER corner...I told her to stay in the locker room. If she DOES make her presence felt, though...cancel her out. We are The BROMANS, Shining...we are a well-oiled MACHINE, and NO GIRL is going to get in our way...alright? -Holds out his fist-

Shining: ...Alright. -Bumps Flash's fist- I got it...

Flash: Good. Now, let's make sure "Attack of The SLIME II" fails at the box office! -BroMans walks off-

Interviewer: Thank you for your time, gentlemen...

*REDACTED THEME* -Crowd boos-

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FAAALLL! Introducing FIRST...at a combined weight, of 402 POOOUNNDSSS...Snips, and Snails...SLLLIIIMEEEE...

Discord: Oh...now THIS is MY kind of tag team. Just look at how EVILLY they walk to the ring.

Ahuizotl: They're two of the BIGGEST creepers Lunacy has to offer. Snips and Snails stumped the BroMans earlier this Monday, but only because of the...

Discord: Go on...say it. The PRIMAL SAVVY of Sunset Shimmer. Who can blame Shining Armor?

Ahuizotl: He let his partner down because of his hormones...

Discord: And Snips and Snails are going to EXPLOIT the dissension forming in the ranks of the BroMans. Trust me.

Ahuizotl: You might be right.

Discord: Of COURSE I am. Chaos also gives me extra intellect.

Ahuizotl: Oh booooyyy...as if you couldn't be ANY smarter...

Discord: It also allows me to detect sarcasm.

Ahuizotl: Dammit.

The sky turns to a different shade of blue... -Mostly cheers-

Announcer: Aaaanddd...their opponents! At a combined weight of 421 POOOUUNNDSSS...Shining Armor...and Flash SEEENTRRRYYY...THE BROOOOMAAANNSSSS!

Ahuizotl: The BroMans PROVED to be a cohesive unit on the second episode of Lunacy, when Shining Armor returned EARLY from a CONCUSSION to save Flash Sentry from SLIME.

Discord: Oooohhhh how much two more weeks can change...

Match 2: Flash Sentry & Shining Armor vs Snips & Snails

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

Ahuizotl: And this ovation for The BroMans JUST may get them on the same page...

Discord: The crowd can only help so much...

-11 minutes later-

-Snips grabs Flash for the German Suplex, as Snails is ready to drop the leg-drop. Flash counters the suplex by landing on his feet, and moves out of the way to cause Snails to hit Snips with a cross-body. Snails clumsily apologizes, and turns around to meet a kick to the gut from Flash. The crowd begins cheering loudly-

Ahuizotl: Is he going to go for it?! Is he going for the Flash Flood?!

Discord: I hope so. I'm not easily impressed, but that move is a thing of BEAUTY.

-Before Flash can hit the Flash Flood, Shining Armor blind tags himself in. The crowd IMMEDIATELY begins booing, as Flash releases his grip on Snips-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...

Discord: I KNEW it! I TOLD you this would happen!

Ahuizotl: There's a match going on, guys! A BIG match!

Flash: Is it really going to be like this, man? I HAD THE MATCH WON!

Shining: You still could've HIT the move! SNIPS is the legal man! I was going to finish him off!

Flash: I had it all under CONTRO-

-Snails tries to run at Flash, but Flash vaults him over the top rope down to the floor, and goes right back to arguing with Shining-

Discord: It's the BIGGEST match of their young careers...and they're BICKERING! It's GLORIOUS!

-As the BroMans are arguing, Snips tries to club Shining in the back, but Shining moves out of the way, causing Snips to clothesline Flash out of the ring. He holds on, though. Shining runs off the ropes, attempting to hit Snips with a dropkick, but now SNIPS moves, and Shining nails Flash with the dropkick, the velocity causing Flash's upper back to hit the announce table. The crowd "OOOH's."-

Discord: See where this bickering gets you boys, NOWHERE?

Ahuizotl: To be fair...this time it was SHINING ARMOR who brought up the better point.

Discord: Doesn't matter WHO brought up the better point, their stupidity COULD cost them that match!

-Shining looks out to the floor at Flash, giving Snips the opportunity to lift Shining up for a German Suplex. In the corner is Snails, who jumps off at JUST the right time, connecting with the leg-drop-

Ahuizotl: Snails scores with a HUGE move! -Snips hooks the leg-

1...2...3! -The crowd boos, as Snips slowly crawls backwards away from Shining's fallen body. Snips picks him up by the arms-

Announcer: Here are your winners...Snips...and SNAAAILLSS...SLIIIMMMEEE!

Discord: What did I say from the VERY beginning? That the BroMans' NONSENSE would wind up costing them this OH-SO important match, and it DID! It absolutely DID!

Ahuizotl: They should've listened to themselves, and put their differences aside...and now, SLIME now owns TWO tag team victories over the BroMans...

-Flash gets into the ring, and stares down at a reeling Shining on the mat.-

Flash: You failed me AGAIN! You failed US AGAIN! YOU CAN ONLY FAIL SO MANY TIMES, SHINING ARMOR! -Flash shakes his head, exits the ring, and walks off, as the crowd begins to chant "YOU DESERVE BETTER" with a supporting 5 claps per chant-

Ahuizotl: What will this mean for a tag team that could be...SO much more?

Discord: Hopefully they'll feud. THAT'D be JUICY! Two frat-boys in a Toga match? Ugh...actually, on second thought...

Ahuizotl: Yeaaahh...let's just not think about that image.

Discord: I TRULY did not intend for that one to come out like that. It was one of those stereotypical things...the SAUNA MATCH was bad enough...

Ahuizotl: -Holding his head- NEXT MATCH!

Discord: Okay, okay...jeez...I happen to think Twist is QUITE cute...when she's not naked, or talking...or breathing.

Ahuizotl: So...Twist is cute when she's dead?

Discord: Yup. In a maggot infested grave, where we can NEVER see her...-clears throat, and looks over his script- AH! Our next match will feature the EWF debut of Hugh Jelly, the man who will NEVER try Nutella simply because "it's not jelly."

Ahuizotl: That's just unheard of...I want a script.

Discord: Hmmmm...too bad?

*RUMBLE'S THEME* -Mostly crowd cheers, probably because the crowd thinks the Carnage title isn't worth a damn to only be contested in the third match on the show-

Announcer: The following MIXED-TAG-TEAM match...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first...at a combined weight of 497 POOOUNNDSSS...the team of Horsepower, Flitter, aaannddd CLOOOUDDCHAAASSEERRR!

Discord: And the Roses are looking RAVISHING as always. There's nothing better than a woman that can fight AND look good while doing it.

Ahuizotl: And I'd say just about EVERY woman signed to EWF does JUST that!

Discord: ...Except Twist.

Ahuizotl: I try not to count her for ANYTHING.

Discord: -Chortles- Good man.

Ehehehe...everybody come see the greatest show... -Pretty big pop-

Announcer: Aaaannnndd THEIR opponent! At a combined weight of 627 POOOUUNNDSSSS...representing The ODDITIES! Hugh Jelly, Clip Clop, and MIIDDDNNIIGHTTT STRRRIIKKEEE!

Discord: I wish THESE guys were on Sublime! They're not exactly as TREACHEROUS as I'd like, but they THRIVE to have FUN! Well, except Midnight...she's a bit of a stick in the mud...but her boyfriend and company? I WANT TO HAVE SOME TEA WITH THEM, because beer is ICKY!

Ahuizotl: And when the bell rings...Rumble's entourage is going to be in for a BIG surprise...

Discord: Just reminding everyone at home...this is NOT an intergender matchup, like the handicap version we saw on Monday. The men will face the men, and the chicks shall face the chicks! Just like GOD intended!

Ahuizotl: You realize that there are TWO women on Horsepower's team...but only ONE representing the Oddities?

Discord: This may prove to be hazardous to Midnight. Flitter and Cloudchaser could isolate her from her partners ALL match. This could work in the favor of Horsepower and his team of Femme Fetales.

Match 3: Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser vs Hugh Jelly, Clip Clop, and Midnight Strike

-6 minutes later-

-Horsepower and Clip Clop are on the top rope, jocking for position. Clip Clop is trying to level Horsepower with a superplex, but the strength of Horsepower is just too much to handle.-

Ahuizotl: This could be DISASTROUS if these two LARGER than average men fall at the SAME TIME!

Discord -Giggles like a schoolgirl- I KNOW! Just think of it...575 pounds of GIRTH...IMPLODING the ring!

Ahuizotl: Then how would the rest of the matches be contested?

Discord: ...Chaos doesn't NEED to be thought through.

-Out of nowhere, Hugh Jelly LEAPS on the top turnbuckle, and he and Clip Clop are able to overpower Horsepower and drive him to the mat with a DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!-

Discord: OH MY 'LANTA! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!

Ahuizotl: THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE!

Discord: And MASTERFUL! -Sheds a tear- I'm so proud...

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!

-Flitter and Cloudchaser take this opportunity to get in the ring and stomp on both Clip Clop and Hugh Jelly. The crowd boos, until Midnight enters the fray and TOSSES Flitter over the top rope and down to the floor. Cloudchaser turns towards Midnight, rears back, and hits her with a ferocious SLAP! The crowd "OOOH's-

Discord: I haven't heard a slap that loud since my last girlfriend sent one my way!

Ahuizotl: I sure do feel sorry for HER...

Discord: Yeah, me too...she's dead now.

Ahuizotl: ?

-Midnight spits on the mat, and shoves Cloudchaser backwards, sending her slipping on a banana peel just set up by Clip Clop-

Discord: Oh how CLICHE!

Ahuizotl: But EFFECTIVE!

-Clip Clop laughs, as Cloudchaser sloppily stands up and is hit with "The Clocks Strikes" by Midnight-

Ahuizotl: She's got her!

1...2...3! -The crowd cheers wildly-

Announcer: Here are YOUR WINNEERRSSSS! Clip Clop, Hugh Jeeellyyy...and MIIDDDNNIIGGHHTTT STRRRIIKKEEEEE!

Discord: I was HIGHLY satisfied with this match! There was so much chaos, I just couldn't count it all on BOTH hands!

Ahuizotl: Midnight...returns to action, and is FINALLY victorious! Her neck was worked on nearly ALL match by Flitter and Cloudchaser, but she persevered, and got her FIRST win!

Discord: It only would've been better had the banana peel been kept IN the trick bag...NOT COOL, Clip Clop...

-Hugh Jelly approaches Midnight, dips her, and then gives her a deep kiss. The crowd whoops and whistles in response.-

Discord: ECH! Just imagine all those flavors of jam swishing around in Midnight's mouth...what does she see in this guy?

Ahuizotl: Oh, Discord...don't be so...JELLY.

Discord: OHOHOHOHOHOHO-screw you.

-Clip Clop, Dance Fever, and Bill Neigh lead the audience in some interactive antics as their theme music plays. Hugh carries Midnight up the ramp, they both looking into each other's eyes-

Ahuizotl: Awww...and for ONCE...Midnight actually looks...happy.

Discord: GAG! Where's the debauchery?

Ahuizotl: Be quiet, you. Good for The Oddities! Big win tonight at Proving Grounds!

*Sunset Shimmer's Locker Room*

Sunset: I know you're mad, Flash...but I NEED you out there with me!

Flash: Just answer me ONE THING, Sunny...why would you PURPOSELY cost us the match Monday? I'm pissed at Shining for getting distracted, but what would possess you to CAUSE the distraction in the FIRST PLACE?

Sunset: -Chuckles- Oh, Flash...-rubbing her index finger along Flash's abs- I've told you this before...getting inside your opponent's head is the quickest way to BEATING your opponent.

Flash: What? Did your horoscope tell you that?

Sunset: -Stern look- Don't be rude, Flash...

Flash: The only thing you're doing is getting inside SHINING's head. What if this only makes Cadance even ANGRIER at you?

Sunset: Her anger will be her downfall, then. She can't WIN the title on a Disqualification.

Flash: And you won't WIN the title if she IS disqualified.

Sunset: True, but I doubt Cadance could handle being called a "coward", and THAT is what she'd be if she got herself disqualified. She's just going to have to keep herself level-headed, and it's going to be TOO much for her in the end. She'll be weak, and I'LL be the WINNER. And you can raise my hand and we can go back to our hotel room and...

Flash: -Grins- Celebrate?

Sunset: They'll be out of wine in NO time...-winks-

Flash: I'm still PISSED, though, Sunny...it was my FIRST pay per view...and we LOST.

Sunset: -Grabs hold of Flash's chin, and turns it to make him look into her eyes- Baby...Shining can't help it if he is the weaker half of your team. You're the one that has gotten the crowd to get behind you guys. Your finisher is AMAZING. You're the more HANDSOME of the two, the more physically fit, the more MARKETABLE. Let's face it...one day, The BroMans are going to be tag team champions, and they're going to try to crop as MUCH of Shining Armor off of that billboard, or program, or tour bus to make ALL the room they can for YOU.

Flash: -Blushes- Thanks, babe...you always know how to cheer me up.

Sunset: -Kisses Flash on the forehead- That's all the love you're getting for now...you'll just have to wait until I win to get the FULL PACKAGE.

Flash: -Gently grabs Sunset's hand, and leads her out of her locker room- I think the wait will be WELL worth it...

Discord: Ah, young love...

Ahuizotl: The love Sunset Shimmer has for Flash Sentry is among the weirdest I've ever seen.

Discord: How so?

Ahuizotl: What the hell do you mean? She flirts with other men, she costs her boyfriend matches...where's the love in THAT?!

Discord: Tough love, my friend.

Ahuizotl: SUNSET ISN'T FLASH'S FATHER!

Discord: ...We don't know that for sure.

Ahuizotl: I do...SHUT UP.

*REDACTED THEME* -A few boos from the crowd-

Announcer: The following contest..is scheduled for OOONEE FALL...and is for...the Crater Chiiiiccckk...CHAAAMMPPIIOONNSHHIIIPPP! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring...by Shining Armor! From Crystalville...weighing in at 129 POOOUNNDSSS...CAAADDAANNCCEEE!

Ahuizotl: This is a match I have been looking forward to ALL week. No doubt, Cadance and Sunset Shimmer have had the most HEATED feud in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation since week 1.

Discord: And that could be attributed to MANY things. Boys, jealousy, typical girl-wanting-to-be-dominant tropes. But NOTHING...and I mean NOTHING...is fueling this rivalry MORE...than the Crater Chick Championship.

Ahuizotl: Absolutely. These two ladies need not focus on their petty relationship struggles right now, because it DOESN'T MATTER...at least for right now. All that should matter, is becoming the first EVER Crater Chick Champion.

And now...it's all over now... -Quite an abundant amount of cheers-

Announcer: Aaaannddd..HER OPPONENT! Accompanied to the ring...by Flash Sentry! From Canterlot...weighing in at 142 POOOUNNDSS...Sunseeetttt...SHIIIMEEEEEERRR!

Discord: We would SURE be remiss, however, if we DIDN'T bring up all of the negative forces in these two relationships leading up to this match.

Ahuizotl: It sure has been odd to see it all play out. Sunset flirts with Shining Armor, and whether it be to get inside the head of Cadance or not, it's still NOT right.

Discord: I don't think Sunset cares. And Shining Armor SURE doesn't seem to mind it either...I certainly can't blame him. Maybe he likes the bad girls?

Ahuizotl: Don't make a commitment with another woman, then. Flash Sentry might be better off with a kind girl like Cadance, also. He seems to be under a spell from Sunset...

Discord: He's been showing his teeth in recent weeks, however. He realizes how CLOSE his tag team partner is to his gal. If Shining Armor wants a bad girl, he'd better look somewhere else. You should NEVER steal a man's girl, ESPECIALLY if it's your BEST FRIEND'S girl.

Ahuizotl: Wise words from one Mr. Discord. We will see if either Flash Sentry or Shining Armor play a deciding role in the outcome of this match.

-The referee holds the championship up in the air, and shows it to both competitors. Sunset grabs the championship, and kisses it-

Ahuizotl: Might be a bit too early to do that...

Discord: Gotta love her confidence! So devilish...

-Sunset, in a flash, leaps and Cadance, and hits her with the Crater Chick championship. There are more boos directed towards Sunset now-

Discord: Confidence and intelligence go hand in hand! LOVELY! DO IT AGAIN!

Ahuizotl: You had to figure Sunset wasn't going to allow Cadance to get the upper-hand, but COME ON!

-Flash looks disgusted by this action, and throws his arms out at his side. Sunset blows him a kiss, and silently hands the referee the belt. The referee checks on Cadance, asking if she can continue. When Cadance gets back up, the referee rings the bell, and Sunset immediately runs at her in the corner, sending a flurry of kicks at her left leg.-

Discord: And it seems Sunset has a game-plan early: Attack the leg of Cadance!

Ahuizotl: Sunset isn't exactly known for her submission skills, but I won't take away how smart this is by her. If Cadance can't stand on two legs, she can't win the title.

-Sunset grabs Cadance's left leg, wraps it over the middle rope, and begins twisting it. Shining Armor looks on in worry.-

Match 4: Crater Chick Championship: Sunset Shimmer w/ Flash Sentry vs Cadance w/ Shining Armor

-9 minutes later-

-Sunset drags Cadance over to the turnbuckle, and leaves the ring. Outside the ring, she grabs Cadance's legs, wraps them around the ring-post, and places her own legs over them, dangling barely above the floor. She applies severe pressure.-

Ahuizotl: A figure four leg lock?! MY GOD! This poor woman is going to have everything from tendons to ligaments torn from inside her leg!

Discord: THIS is what you do to win a championship. I applaud Sunset for being so devious, but I also applaud Cadance for staying in the game for as long as she has!

Ref: 1...2...3...4...-Sunset lets go of the hold at the last second, as Cadance scoots back away from the ring-post, reveling in intense pain-

Ahuizotl: I can only imagine how much pain Cadance is in right now...

Discord: It might be slim odds, but if she wins the championship, all that pain will be worth it...

-Sunset grabs a nearby Shining Armor's cheeck, and quickly rolls into the ring. Shining starts blushing as Flash death stares him on the other side of the ring-

-12 minutes later-

-Sunset grabs Cadance from behind, and attempts a back suplex. Cadance lands on her feet, and immediately regrets it, as she stumbles backwards into a corner in pain. Sunset rushes at Cadance, looking to dropkick her leg, but Cadance jumps onto the top turnbuckle at the last second. Sunset's feet hit the bottom turnbuckle, and her head whiplashes into the mat. The crowd "OH's!"-

Ahuizotl: Cadance isn't out of this yet!

Discord: But being up top in her condition isn't the best thing for her to be doing right now. Especially in such a BIG match like this!

-Cadance positions herself, and dives off the top rope, hitting Sunset with a Swanton Bomb!-

Discord: But it pays off big! That was poetry in CHAOS!

1...2...-Flash Sentry pulls the referee out of the ring at the last second. There are a 50/50 mixture of cheers and boos-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! Are you kidding me?!

Discord: He just wants his girlfriend to win the title, so they can go home and "reap the riches."

Ahuizotl: But Flash looked so disappointed at the beginning of the match when Sunset hit Cadance with the title!

Discord: Love makes you do strange things...

-Flash immediately looks upset with himself. He puts his hand over the top of his head, and buries his face into the ring apron. Sunset deviously smirks, as Cadance looks out over the top rope at Flash.-

Cadance: Why, Flash? I was so close...

Flash: I made a mistake! I don't know why I did it!

-Sunset knocks Cadance back down to the mat in pain with a chop block, and quickly slides out of the ring. She pats Flash on the head, and goes over to get a steel chair. Meanwhile, Shining Armor gets in Flash's face.-

Ahuizotl: And just what in the hell is Sunset planning to do with that chair?

Discord: Anything she damn well wants...

Flash: Shining...that wasn't supposed to happen...I-I don't know what came over me!

-Sunset gets in between the two-

Sunset: Both of you! Get in the ring!

-Flash quickly nods, and enters the ring. Sunset glares at Shining. Sooner or later, he sighs and enters the ring as well.-

Discord: I'm not even sure what's happening at this point, but I am thoroughly enjoying it...

-Sunset hands the chair to Flash-

Sunset: HIT HER! -She points down at a pained Cadance-

Ahuizotl: Oh she can't be serious...

-Flash immediately shakes his head, throwing the chair to the mat. The crowd cheers, as Sunset's eyes lower.-

Flash: I've already made ONE mistake, Sunset! I'm NOT going to make another!

Sunset: -Shrugs, and picks up the chair. She hands it to Shining Armor.- You take the shot, then! -Now almost all of the crowd is booing-

Discord: This is BRILLIANT! Sunset Shimmer is singlehandedly trying to break up the relationship of Cadance and Shining Armor!

Ahuizotl: There's no way Shining would do this...he loves Cadance too much...

Sunset: Look at how PATHETIC she is, Shining! There's no way she can beat me! I am the most DOMINANT female in this company! Why would you want a loser like her? GIVE HER THE BOOT!

-Shining looks at the chair as Cadance begins to get up in front of him. He rears back, and Flash quickly interjects himself-

Flash: WHOA! WHOA! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Ahuizotl: INDEED. What is going through this young man's head?!

Flash: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO CADANCE?! Are you fucking IGNORANT!?

Shining: -Growls- You had NO IDEA what I had in mind with this chair...

Flash: I think I do...you wanna hit me, don't you? It's been boiling over for WEEKS! Here's you chance, DAMMIT! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!

Ahuizotl: This tag team is self destructing in front of our very own eyes!

Discord: These two are like BROTHERS! It just shows you the power of a woman's allure...

-Shining Armor looks to the ground, contemplating his next move. He starts to walk away, but then quickly turns around and swings the chair in Flash's direction. Flash moves out of the way, and the chair connects with the now fully risen Cadance's skull. The crowd is going ape-shit, as Sunset begins to laugh-

Ahuizotl: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHAT THE HELL WITH THE CHAIR, DAMMIT?! GET IT OUT OF THE RING!

Discord: This isn't the chaos I wanted...I wanted a brawl between these two best friends, not a steel chair across an innocent woman's head...

-Flash rams his shoulder into Shining's abdomen in anger, pushing him out through the middle rope, and down to the floor. He begins shaking the ropes in frustration, until he feels a tapping on his shoulder. He turns around to see an upset Sunset Shimmer.-

Sunset: I'm VERY disappointed in you, Flash...-she crosses her arms-

Flash: I'm sorry, Sunny...but this is YOUR fight to finish...-Flash leaves the ring, and walks up the aisle to a standing ovation.-

Ahuizotl: Good for Flash! Sunset Shimmer doesn't DESERVE his support!

Discord: Sunset Shimmer doesn't NEED his support...she's about to win GOLD.

-Sunset doesn't seem phased by her boyfriend's exit, as another referee jogs past him, and down to the ring. Sunset smirks. The referee runs into the ring, and Sunset slowly lowers herself down to the mat, before finally hooking Cadance's leg-

Ahuizotl: Not like this...-1...2...-KICK OUT, CADANCE! KICK OUT! -Cadance kicks out at 2 and a half to rousing cheers from the crowd. Sunset yanks at her hair, and begins pounding at the mat.-

Discord: Zoo-Wee MAMA! I can not BELIEVE Cadance has THIS left much in her!

Ahuizotl: It's just like you said, Discord! She wants that title more than ANYTHING right now!

Discord: Right about now, young Cadance is showing that she's got the HEART of a champion...

-3 minutes later-

-Sunset has the upper-hand once again, as she sets up Cadance for the Prospectdriver. She hooks Cadance's arms, and lifts her into the air, but Cadance counters it into a roll-up-

1...2...3! -The crowd erupts with mostly cheers, as both Cadance and Sunset seem in shock by the outcome. Shining Armor throws up the "rock-on" hands-

Ahuizotl: SHE DID IT! CADANCE IS THE CHAMPION!

Discord: I don't believe it...what HEART! All that pain and suffering paid off in the end!

Announcer: Here is YOUR WINNER...and the NEEEWWWW...Crater Chick CHAAAMMPPIIOONNN...CAAADDAANNCCEEEEE!

-Cadance is handed her title, as she climbs to the top turnbuckle and holds it into the air, tears beginning to form in her eyes-

Ahuizotl: What an INSPIRING performance from Cadance! She overcame EVERY odd Sunset threw at her!

Discord: Including the CHAOS! There was SO MUCH CHAOS!

-Sunset regains her composure, and grabs Cadance by her trunks, slamming her to the mat below. Most of the crowd boos.-

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT! And now Sunset has to RUIN the celebration!

-Sunset leaves the ring, and grabs the steel chair that she introduced earlier from the floor. She throws it into the ring-

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT WITH THE CHAIRS! LEAVE THEM OUT OF THIS!

-Sunset goes to pick up the chair, but she is cutoff by Shining Armor placing his boot on it. The crowd cheers, as Sunset smirks, and demands a microphone.-

Sunset: This is your final chance, Shining Armor...your final chance to drop THIS -She gestures to Cadance-...Dead...WEIGHT. -She gently slides Shining's boot off the chair with her own, and picks it up. She moves over to Cadance, and places her injured leg into the chair- All you need to do is climb up to THAT turnbuckle, and drop ALL your weight onto your precious little princess' leg!

-Sunset shakes his head vigorously-

Sunset: Think about it...she may be champion, but you can change all of that...take her out, make sure she's NEVER heard from again, and you can go home with a REAL champion...a REAL woman...ME. -More boos-

Ahuizotl: This woman...this woman truly needs help...

Discord: I think she's trying too hard, if I'm being honest...

Sunset: What do you say? -She bites her lower lip, and puts the mic in Shining's face-

Shining: You're a crazy bitch, you know that? What on this EARTH would make you think I'd EVER do that to my Cadance!?

Sunset: I see the way you look at me every time I'm around...Monday, you couldn't take your eyes off of me...let's just seal this deal...NOW.

Shining: ...NO. You lost, Sunset. Just leave me and my girlfriend ALONE. PLEASE

-Sunset backs up, and waves her index finger-

Sunset: That's not going to happen, Shiny...you're girlfriend has something I want...well, TWO things I want...-she winks- I'm on my way to getting you, but that championship is nearly in my GRASP, and I can't have you getting in the way of that...-Sunset snaps, and drops the mic. Shining doesn't have time to react, before his feet are pulled out from under him, and he is yanked out of the ring by Snips and Snails.-

Ahuizotl: Oh no! Snips and Snails! Sunset's henchmen!

Discord: They were victorious against the BroMans earlier tonight, but it seems they're ALWAYS lurking around the ring...

-Snips and Snails beat down Shining Armor outside the ring, as Sunset waves to him. She looks back at Cadance, and suddenly looks extremely vengeful. She climbs the top turnbuckle.-

Ahuizotl: NO! WHERE IS FLASH SENTRY?! ANYBODY?! WHY WON'T ANYBODY STOP THIS PSYCHOTIC WOMAN?!

-Sunset jumps off, landing her right leg onto the steel chair. A light "SNAP" can be heard, as Cadance kicks and yells in pain-

Ahuizotl: DID YOU HEAR THAT SNAP?! I THINK CADANCE'S LEG IS BROKEN!

-Discord grimaces, not saying a word-

-All of the boos drown out any cheers, as Sunset crawls around Cadance, stalking her.-

Ahuizotl: I have never seen someone so HELL-BENT on PUNISHING another as Sunset Shimmer has been this past month...

Discord: And it culminated TONIGHT...

Ahuizotl: This was a SYSTEMATIC assault by Sunset Shimmer! She worked over the leg the ENTIRE match, and she just gave the final blow, in what could very well be the end of a young career...it's sickening...

-Meanwhile, Snips finishes off Shining Armor by ramming the steel steps into his head, which was placed in front of the ring post-

Discord: And Shining Armor isn't very well off, either, as he gets DEMOLISHED by the same move that took him out on the first episode of Lunacy!

Ahuizotl: DAMMIT! HE MAY HAVE A CONCUSSION, AND CADANCE MAY HAVE A BROKEN LEG! DO THESE 3 HAVE NO SYMPATHY!

Discord: Seems they want Shining Armor and Cadance to be the modern equivalent to the term "Star Crossed Lovers"...

-Snips and Snails slither into the ring, just as Sunset is done mocking Cadance. Sunset high fives her two associates. Snails grabs the Crater Chick championship from off the mat, and fastens it around the waist of an awaiting Sunset Shimmer, who holds her arms out like a Messiah and closes her eyes as she encounters that first feeling of gold around her waist. Snips bows down, and so does Snails as he completes the ceremony. Sunset snaps her fingers, and the two goons rise to face their leader. Without a word, she leaves the ring, ordering for Snips and Snails to follow her. The three walk up the ramp, Snips and Snails looking ahead with glee, and Sunset never looking back with content.-

Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

Ahuizotl: I could not agree more...

Discord: I believe Sunset Shimmer is on her way to becoming even more evil than ME...I am not afraid to admit that I am TERRIFIED of her.

-Snips and Snails raise Sunset's hands on the stage, and Sunset noogies them before they all three exit through the curtain. Meanwhile, Shining Armor lays unconscious outside the ring, blood leaking like a faucet from his forehead. Cadance, even in all her pain, tries her best to check on him. When she leaves the ring, she tries to hobble to his side, but she ultimately falls and winds up in even MORE pain.-

Ahuizotl: Just lay down, Cadance...PLEASE...just lay down...

-Paramedics FINALLY come down to ringside-

Discord: About time...Jesus, how much are these guys paid? It's too much, whatever it is...

Cadance: -Crying- I think it's broken, Doctor...

Doctor: Don't worry, Cadance...we'll make sure you don't become any more hurt than you already are.

Cadance: Pl-please...help Shining...he needs it more than me!

Doctor: We're going to help you both, don't you worry...-Cadance is being strapped up to a stretcher, while Shining Armor is having a neck-brace put on him before he is placed on a stretcher.-

Ahuizotl: I never expected any of this tonight...I think we underestimated just how MUCH these titles mean to the competitors competing for them...but this whole ordeal was totally UNCALLED for!

Discord: The tactics of Sunset Shimmer are nearly UNDEFINABLE...I'm not even sure that a title is WORTH tearing apart a couple as secure as Cadance and Shining Armor...

-All of the crowd gives Cadance and Shining Armor a standing ovation, as they are wheeled up the ramp in their stretchers side by side. Cadance grabs one of her unconscious boyfriend's hands, and holds it. The crowd cheers even more-

Ahuizotl: Even in catastrophe, there is still beauty such as that beating stronger than ever...

Discord: ...Wow...

-Shitty EWF merchandising plug-

Ahuizotl: Well, ladies and gentlemen...what we just saw was downright unbelievable. We will give you all updates on Cadance and Shining Armor's condition as we get them.

Discord: As a man that CRAVES anarchy, this WASN'T my cup of tea...I hope those two make a quick recovery. Honestly.

Ahuizotl: Even so, the show MUST go on...coming up next, Lunacy will crown their first EVER Chick Combo champions...

Discord: The unlikely team of Berry Punch and Scootaloo, will go up against the more experienced tandem of Turf and Silver Spoon.

Ahuizotl: Let's just hope Diamond's squad plays this game FAIR...

Discord: No matter WHAT they do, I HIGHLY doubt they can match Sunset Shimmer's unadulterated cruelty...

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true -Crowd boos-

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FAAAALLL! And is for the Chick...COMMBBBOOO...CHAAAMMPPIOONNSSHIIPP! Making their way to the ring...FIRST! Accompanied by Diamond Tiara! At a combined weight, of 239 POOOUNNDSSSS...Turf...and SILVVVERRR SPOOOONNNN!

Discord: Poor Diamond! I wonder when she'll be cleared to wrestle...

Ahuizotl: I TRULY wonder if Diamond has been injured THIS long...I'm thinking she's milking it, simply so she doesn't have to step in the ring with Scootaloo.

Discord: Oh, now that's SILLY. Scootaloo doesn't even have TIME to face Diamond...she's too busy getting beat up by Turf and Silver Spoon every week! -Laughs manically-

Ahuizotl: Need I remind you that up until last Monday, Scootaloo and Berry Punch had been having The Mean Girls NUMBER?

Discord: In matches, yes, but they never could quite handle the ONSLAUGHT of a beating they were given week after week.

Ahuizotl: Well, the tables could very well be TURNED on Turf and Silver Spoon tonight. THEY may get the beating of their LIFE.

Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky... -HUGE cheers-

Announcer: Aaaannddd THEIR opponents! First...from Loneyviiillleee, weighing in at 118 POOOUNNDSSS..SCCOOOTTAAALOOOOOO!

Discord: -Sarcastic- Oh yeeessss...what a well-oiled tag team Berry Punch and Scootaloo are...I mean, it's not like TAG TEAMS should come out together or anythinnnggg...

Ahuizotl: Where in the rules does it say tag team partners must come out together?

Discord: In the Diary of the Draconequus...DUH.

Ahuizotl: You don't have to come out TOGETHER to be a REAL tag team. What is that supposed to show? FRIENDSHIP?

Discord: Friendship is gay.

Ahuizotl: I don't agree with THAT, but Scootaloo and Berry Punch aren't EVEN friends. Berry Punch is watching Scootaloo's back because she's sick of seeing her get assaulted every week. She hates The Mean Girls, too. It's the right thing to do.

Discord: I don't think ANYBODY would want to be friends with Berry Punch. She's a loss cannon. VERY unpredictable.

*GLASS SHATTERS* -Even more cheers. Silver Spoon is visibly shivering-

-The announcer awaits for the entrance of Berry Punch, but never comes out. Sooner or later, her music dies down, and Scootaloo and everybody else but The Mean Girls begin to worry.-

Ahuizotl: Where...where is Berry Punch?

Discord: HA! You were right! They AREN'T friends! Hell, they aren't even ALLIES! Berry Punch has left her "partner" high and dry!

-Scootaloo turns to the stage-

Scootaloo: BERRY! BEEERRRYYY! WHERE ARE YOU, BERR-

-Scootaloo is attacked from behind by Turf. The crowd boos immensely, and begins chants of "BER-RY!" Turf grabs Scootaloo by her hair, and looks her in the eyes-

Turf: HAHA! Where's your partner, ORPHAN? -She begins slapping her upside the head-

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: -At the crowd- SHUT UP!

-Turf is suddenly surprised by a hurricanrana out of nowhere by Scootaloo. The crowd cheers, as Turf tumbles into her corner, and Scootaloo takes a seated position in her corner, trying to come up with a gameplan-

Ahuizotl: It looks like this is going to be a Handicap match...come on, Scoot!

Discord: BE UNBIASED. Serves Scootaloo right, picking someone like BERRY PUNCH as a partner. You can't trust HER! She's a DRUNK!

Match 5: Chick Combo Tag Team Championship: Turf & Silver Spoon w/ Diamond Tiara vs Scootaloo

-13 minutes later-

-Silver Spoon strikes Scootaloo with a jab, but is immediately struck by an Enziguri from Scootaloo. The crowd pops-

Ahuizotl: That was a LAST-DITCH effort by Scootaloo! She's all alone, and she's been battered this ENTIRE match!

Discord: Just like Cadance, she's got heart. But how long can one woman survive against TWO?

Ahuizotl: And let's not forget Diamond Tiara, who hasn't made her presence in this match felt YET, but very well MAY soon enough.

Crowd: SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO!

-Scootaloo dives at the imaginary hand of Berry Punch, and falls face first into the mat-

Ahuizotl: Awww...Scootaloo forgot that she has no partner...

Discord: What an IDIOT! Mistakes like that will NEVER make you a champion, just like the mistake of picking a tag team partner like Berry Punch!

-Scootaloo realizes her mistake, and is rocked with a leg drop to the back of the neck by Silver Spoon. Silver Spoon grabs the back of Scootaloo's leg, and drags her to her corner. She tags in Turf-

Ahuizotl: Frequent tags between these two have kept them both fresh for when they are tagged in the next time.

Discord: But Scootaloo has stayed in this match, and she's given BOTH of her opponents a fair amount of bruises. If she had cloned herself, and was her OWN tag team partner, she'd NEVER lose the tag team titles!

-Turf hits *REDACTED* on Scootaloo-

Ahuizotl: Oh! The move that beat Scootaloo Monday night!

1...2...3! -The crowd boos, as Diamond Tiara jumps in joy while clapping-

Ahuizotl: WHAT? Just like THAT?

Discord: Berry Punch has SCREWED Scootaloo, and thus, we have NEW tag team champions!

Announcer: Here are your WINNERS...and NEEEEWWWWWWW! Chick Combo Tag Team CHAAAMMPPIOONSSS...SILVER SPOOONN...AND TUUUURRFFF!

-Diamond Tiara enters the ring, and double hugs her two besties. They her up into the air, and hold her on their shoulders. The referee passes Diamond the tag titles, and she holds them up proud as she is seated on Turf and Silver Spoon's shoulders-

Ahuizotl: I mean, I KNOW Turf beat Scootaloo with that move Monday, but...just like THAT?

Discord: It only takes THREE seconds. If Scootaloo's PARTNER would've actually SHOWED UP, that move would've been BROKEN up...

Ahuizotl: I'm guessing you are upset with the outcome of this match?

Discord: HA! Of COURSE not! I LOVE this! Scootaloo DESERVES it! She picked a BAD partner, and got the BAD outcome. Maybe this will teach her a lesson.

Ahuizotl: But where the hell WAS Berry Punch? This isn't her AT ALL! She was going to kick some ass!

Discord: Like I figured, the only ASS that was kicked...was SCOOTALOO's. Congratulations to Turf, Silver Spoon, and ESPECIALLY Diamond Tiara!

Turf: FIRST champs! ONLY champs, BIIITTCCHHEESSS! -Diamond Tiara flips off Scootaloo, who is sitting in the ring, sulking.-

Ahuizotl: Berry Punch has some explaining to do tomorrow night on Lunacy….

-Scootaloo suddenly stands up, and leaves the ring with a furious expression. She powerwalks up the ramp.-

Discord: Screw tomorrow NIGHT, it looks like Scoots' is going to find that drunkard RIGHT NOW!

Ahuizotl: Things have definitely been heating up tonight.

Discord: Speaking of heat, up next we have the spa twins, Aloe and Lotus Blossom, battling against Beauty Shot for the Sublime tag team championship.
*Redacted Theme*

Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Sublime Tag Team Championship! Introducing the challengers,at a combined weight of 258 pounds, the team of Aloe and Lotus Blossom.

*Redacted Theme*

Announcer: And introducing the champions,at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Beauty Shot!

*12 minutes later*

Match 6: Sublime Tag Team Championship, Beauty Shot vs. Aloe and Lotus Blossom

Discord: I predict a squash match.

Ahuizotl: These two have spirit, at least give them a chance.

Discord: Their spirit is connected to their nails, break those and you break them.

*11 minutes later*

-Pretty Vision hits *Redacted* on Lotus Blossom but instead of going for a pin she takes time to taunt-

Ahuizotl: This could come back to bite her.

Discord: I'll laugh if it does.

Aloe: Good job Pretty Vision! You knocked her out, you two won the match!

Pretty Vision: *Gasp* Really?

*Lotus Blossom trips Pretty Vision and quickly makes the tag, Aloe rushes into the ring and starts hitting a series of moves on Pretty Vision, meanwhile Photo Finish jumps down from the ring and grabs one of the tag team titles*

Discord: I know where this is going, and I love it!

*Aloe hits *Redacted* on Pretty Vision and goes for a pin, but Photo Finish enters the ring and hits her with the title, the ref calls for the bell to ring, boos fill the arena*

Announcer: Here are your winners, by disqualification, Aloe and Lotus Blossom!

Ahuizotl: What's even the point of winning if you don't get the titles for it?

-Lotus Blossom charges at Photo Finish in rage, Photo Finish quickly withdraws from the ring as both the Spa Twins chase her, leaving Pretty Vision alone in the ring-

Ahuizotl: And she leaves her own teammate behind, what kind of partner is that?

Discord: She was obviously just taking the heat off Pretty Vision, do you really think Photo Finish would betray her loyal teammate to save her own skin?

Ahuizotl: Our next match will be held to determine the very first Combo of Carnage tag team champions.

Discord: The brash and sophisticated tandem of Gustave Le Grand and Fancy Pants, better known as EGO, will take on the united blood-team of Happy Trails and Braeburn. This won't be a wrestling match, people...this is going to be a BRAWL.

Ahuizotl: And I'd like to think that gives the advantage to Braeburn and Happy, correct?

Discord: I do in fact agree with that statement, but remember; EGO has their ACE IN THE HOLE….the impeccable Fleur de Lis in their corner.

Announcer: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! And it is for the Combo….of Carnage….TAG TEAAAAMM CHAMPIONSHIPSSSS!

*REDACTED THEME* -Decent pop-

Announcer: Introducing FIRST….at a combined weight of 409 POOOOUUNNDSSS….BrrrrrAEEEEBURRRN...aaannddd HAPPY TRRRRAAAIIIILLSSS!

Discord: And would you look at this! Look who's escorting the cousins down to the ring….Granny Smith!

Ahuizotl: Awww...that's sweet. Nothing like some cheering on from grandma!

-Braeburn cradles one of Granny Smith's arms between his two arms, leading her down to the ring while Happy Trails slaps hands with the fans.-

Discord: If this were any other grandmother, I would SCOWL these boys for doing this...but Granny Smith is one TOUGH old lady!

-Braeburn moves Granny to their side of the ring, before entering it to talk strategy with his cousin.-

Granny Smith: Lick 'em REAL good for the Apple Family, sonnehs!

Happy: -Thumbs up- You got it, Granneh! They won't know wha hit 'em!

*REDACTED THEME* -Nice mixture of cheers and boos-

Announcer: Aaaannddd….THEIR OPPONENTS! Accompanied to the ring...by FLEUR DE LIS, at a combined weight….of 443 POOOUNNDDSS! The team of FANCY PANTS….and GUSTAVE LE GRRRAAANNDDD….EEEEGGGOOOOOO!

-Gustave and Fancy point at Granny Smith, and guffaw/"hur hur" at their opponents' WEAK choice of manager. Granny shakes her fist at them. Fleur, meanwhile, takes the time to flick her hair at the crowd. Many flashbulbs go off at her poses.-

Discord: I'd hate to know what those men plan to use these photos for….

Ahuizotl: And EGO, as you said, shouldn't underestimate Granny Smith. They've already underestimated their opponents, and that costed them to be assaulted by them on Lunacy Monday, softening EGO up, and perhaps costing them this match, and the titles.

Discord: Let's not forget, though, EGO has had 6 days to heal their wounds. Just two nights ago, Happy Trails and Braeburn not only LOST to Canterlot Class, but were ASSAULTED with finishers and Blueblood's devastating scepter! They're CLEARLY not 100%!

Ahuizotl: Which is why they felt they should've brought Granny Smith out to the ring. Nothing gives you more moral support than your own family.

Discord: EGO ALSO has a manager….Fleur de Lis. In fact, she's the reason EGO are even IN this situation. She cost the BroMans their shot at the Combo of Carnage championships. Will she do the same here tonight?

Ahuizotl: If she tries, I can ASSURE you that Granny Smith will be there to meet her head on. All I can say is….BLOOD….is thicker than MONEY….

Discord: Pft….maybe in YOUR eyes….

Match 7: Combo of Carnage Tag Team Championships: EGO w/ Fleur de Lis vs Happy Trails & Braeburn w/ Granny Smith

-13 minutes later-

-In the ring, Braeburn is setting up for High Noon on Gustave, when all of a sudden, Fleur de Lis gets up on the ring apron, waving at Braeburn. The men in the crowd cheer. Granny Smith runs over as fast as she can, and pulls Fleur off the apron, causing her nose to smash into the apron. The crowd "OOOH's", and some boos are heard.-

Discord: Oh no! Fleur's PICTURE-WORTHY FACE!

Ahuizotl: I warned her…..DON'T take your eyes off of Granny Smith! She's CRAFTY.

-Gustave leans over the ropes, yelling at Granny Smith, as Fancy Pants makes a blind tag. Braeburn rolls up the distracted Gustave, but the referee doesn't count, as Fancy quickly enters the ring and FLOORS Braeburn with a Yelrah Ecar-like knee.-

Discord: I warned HIM….DON'T take your eyes off of EITHER member of EGO. They're CEREBRAL.

-Fancy Pants quickly picks up Braeburn, he and Gustave hitting their CREAM OF THE CROP finisher on him. Gustave knocks Happy off of the apron and to the floor, and goes outside to put the boots to him, as Fancy hooks Braeburn's leg.-

1…..2…...3!

Discord: And they DID IT! EGO talked a BIG game, and they PROVED they could back it up!

Announcer: Here are YOUR WINNERS….and the NEEEWWW…...Combo of Carnage champions…..EEGGGGOOOOO!

Ahuizotl: Well, I can't say I'm anything less than impressed. Turns out, those big mouths CAN cash checks. What a dominating force EGO is going to b- -Ahuizotl is cut off by Fleur de Lis kicking Granny Smith, who was looking towards inside the ring with a disappointed expression, in the kidney. The crowd immediately heckles Fleur as Granny doubles over in pain.-

Ahuizotl: DID WE REALLY JUST SEE THAT? DID WE REALLY JUST SEE THAT DESPICABLE DISPLAY OF HUMAN NATURE?! -Turning to Discord- DID WE!?

Discord: Unfortunately….we did…..I like chaos, I like TRICKS….but EVIL actions like THAT just are in BAD TASTE….

Ahuizotl: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE IN BAD TASTE! This-this-this….I CAN'T EVEN CALL HER A WOMAN! This WITCH, this JEZEBEL, just kicked a 73 year old GRANDMOTHER when she wasn't even LOOKING!

Discord: I'd argue it was in self defense, but-

Ahuizotl: SELF DEFENSE?! WHAT HUMAN BEING IN THE RIGHT MIND, TRULY BELIEVES KICKING A DEFENSELESS, ELDERLY WOMAN IN THE SIDE IS "SELF DEFENSE"?! Granny Smith was doing the RIGHT THING, and Fleur just wanted some PETTY and PATHETIC revenge…..w-wh-WHY?! WHAT DOES IT PROVE? That Fleur's "DOMINANT"? BULL! That proves that she's a COWARD! Her guys WON THE MATCH! Go CELEBRATE, don't make an ASS OF YOURSELF! Oh wait….THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR, ISN'T IT?! Just like Sunset Shimmer earlier tonight! You can't just try leave well enough alone, CAN YOU? But in this case, it's even WORSE, BECAUSE FLEUR WON! SHE WON! EGO WON! Granny Smith LOST! Isn't that ENOUGH pain for her poor old heart? She wanted to see her nephews win the titles tonight, and she DIDN'T GET IT. Isn't she hurt enough? ISN'T SHE?!

Discord: Y-...yes….sh-...she was…..

-Fleur rubs at her nose, and FORCEFULLY grabs the titles from the timekeeper. She kisses each title, and puts one around each shoulder, parading and posing up to the ramp. Not NEARLY as many flashbulbs as before can be seen, as the crowd, even the horny men, have COMPLETELY turned on Fleur de Lis.

Crowd: FUCK YOU, FLEUR! FUCK YOU, FLEUR! FUCK YOU, FLEUR! FUCK YOU, FLEUR!

Ahuizotl: I AGREE! FUCK YOU, FLEUR! FUCK. YOU!

Discord: Easy…..easy…..you can't get worked up over this….

Ahuizotl: I KNOW I'm supposed to be unbiased, but I just can't HELP it with SCUM around here like Fleur de Lis...and EGO! EGO doesn't even CARE that their manager just DID THAT to an OLD LADY! HALF THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMPANY NEED AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, and if nobody else will give it to them….I WILL! -Finally sits back down, though with his headset off-

-Gustave and Fancy raise the hands of Fleur de Lis, as Fleur laughs and kisses the air in the direction of Happy Trails and Braeburn, who are checking on their grandmother.-

*Now Trending on Twitter: #DaringRevolutionSuccess #KOVictory #SteelCage*

*A replay of the earlier events shows*

Discord: Starting directly is a match to battle out the rival that has been building up since the very first week of Sublime, and has already played out tonight when both Babs Seed and Apple Bloom interfered in the earlier Battle Royal.

*A replay of the earlier events shows*

Discord: Let's not forget that Apple Bloom is fighting despite just recovering from an injury, it would be a shame if she injured herself again.
Announcer: The following is a steel cage match, where the only way to win is to escape the cage.

*Redacted Theme*

Announcer: Introducing first,standing at five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 138 pounds, from Manhattan, Babs Seed!

*Redacted Theme*

Announcer: And her opponent, from Loneyville, standing at five foot, seven inches tall, weighing in at 136 pounds, Apple Bloom!

Match 8: Steel Cage Match, Babs Seed vs. Apple Bloom

*9 minutes later*

-Babs Seed starts slamming Apple Bloom's head against the side of the cage repeatedly-

Discord: Babs Seed is really working on that head injury,Maybe it will finally knock some sense into Apple Bloom.

*10 minutes later*

-Apple Bloom is making the climb up the cage when Babs Seed catches up and pulls her down, the force of the two falling makes the cage door swing open, Apple Bloom starts crawling towards it only to get pulled back by Babs Seed, Babs Seed starts setting up for *Redacted* when Apple Bloom counters and hits *Redacted*, she then starts making the climb up the cage again,Babs Seed wakes up and starts climbing after her-

Discord: Uh oh, this is going to be so close, can Apple Bloom get away in time?

-Babs Seed reaches to grab Apple Bloom's leg, but Apple Bloom kicks her in the face sending her flying down to the mat, she then finishers her climb and escapes the cage-

-Mixture of boos and cheers-

Announcer: Here is your winner, Apple Bloom!

Discord: I doubt this is really over yet.

*Backstage*

-Rumble is busy taking some pre-match selfies, as Flitter and Cloudchaser whine about their earlier loss. Horsepower just stands there, snarling.-

Rumble: Oh! Stop being all GRUMPY, my lovelies…..after tonight, at least ONE of us...will be a winner. -Chuckles, and continues snapping more fap-worthy pics. He quickly gasps, soon, and turns around, face to face with Thunderlane.-

Thunderlane: -Smirks- Wassup, bro?

Rumble: YOU! -Points exclamatory finger, and speaks in gruff voice- You PHOTO-BOMBED MEEEEEEEEE…..

Thunderlane: Are you REALLY worried about ONE DUD of a photo before the BIGGEST match of your career?

Rumble: Different superstars have DIFFERENT rituals! Some squat, some listen to Patey Kerry, some play Fappy Bird….me? -Runs a hand through his black hair- I make sure there's not a HAIR out of place in my BEEEEE-AUTIFUL hair. Besides, I'm quite confident…"bro."

Thunderlane: My God…..this CAREER of yours..SERIOUSLY….needs a RE-EVALUATION.

Rumble: Hmmm….you're right! And I know JUST where to start…..TONIGHT. When I EMBARRASS that pile of metal, Overdrive, and take my rightful place in HISTORY….as the first...and most GORGEOUS champion…EVER.

Thunderlane: -Golf claps- Oh WOOOWWWW...foolproof strategy….let me help you out there, munchkin….how about you quit FLAPPING that mouth of yours….quit SNAPPING that phone of yours...and go LAPPING with that skill of yours….otherwise...I'll be the ONLY member of this family to walk out, -looks at his title- with GOLD to call my own….

Rumble: Your bragging means NOTHING. You didn't make yourself relevant until WEEK 3. Me, though? I've proven myself as the ALPHA MALE of this POOR male's division on Lunacy since DAY 1. And that's NEVER going to change…..

Thunderlane: Heh...is that why you got beat Monday?

Rumble: I was distracted and you KNOW it! Dance Fever, Overdrive-they're ALL below me! -Gets closer- And so are YOU.

Thunderlane: I can't predict the future, but I do know that RIGHT NOW, at THIS MOMENT….I'VE got a title. All YOU'VE got is a pretty little phone, and a pocket full of dreams. I think it's YOU...who is below ME.

Rumble: Not for LONG, dear Thunderlane….it doesn't matter HOW many times I've been beaten….they were all TEST RUNS….the only match that MATTERS is the BIGGEST...and that happens TONIGHT. And just you WATCH….I WILL pass this FINAL TEST….I WILL win my BIGGEST match…..and I WILL prove...that I am NOT. A. JOKE! -Yanks Thunderlane's photo out of his pocket, and snaps a photo of his title for him. He then places it in his open hand- You'll need that photo after tonight...because I've got a feeling…..that I'LL be the only one….with the REAL...THING. -Snaps his fingers, and walks backwards with his bouncer and girls, never taking his eyes off of his brother. Thunderlane watches him leave, taking one good look at the photo before deleting it.-

Thunderlane: Whether I need that photo or not after tonight is irrelevant...because RIGHT NOW….I've got the REAL THING. -Pats his championship-

Discord: But WILL Thunderlane have the World Brawlers championship after tonight? We will find that out shortly….but...coming up NEXT, we are all set to crown Lunacy's first EVER Carnage of Champion! And, I guess I'm on my own for the rest of the night, huh? -Looks at Ahuizotl, that just stares off in the distance with his arms crossed.- Ah, oh well...I was CARRYING the announce team anyway….

Announcer: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! And...is for the CAAARRRNNAAGGEEE...CHAAAMMPPIIOONNSSSHHHIIIPPP! -Crowd cheers, and as Rumble's music hits, most cheer even LOUDER-

Announcer: Introducing FIRST….accompanied to the ring by Horsepower, Flitter, and Cloudchaser! From LONEEEYYVVILLE...weighing in at 192 POOOOUNNDDSSS….RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrUMBLEEEEEEEEE!

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Discord: I LOVE this crowd...they're so….LAWLESS….I LOVE it, and I LOVE Rumble. He's the underdog, but his confidence is that of the BIGGEST dog in the yard! He's out there, but he's fighting in Lunacy's co-main event, so he's doing SOMETHING right!

All my life I've been searching for something…. -Mostly boos-

Announcer: Aaaaannddd...HIS OPPONENT! From the STEEL CITY….weighing in at 253 POOOUUNNDSSS...OVVVEERRDRRIIIVVVEEE!

Discord: This kid is HIGHLY IMPRESSIVE, as well. NOBODY should take that away from Overdrive. He was BRED for BATTLE...he's SUBHUMAN, and though he's YET to be BEATEN, he CAN be. He HAS his limits, and I truly believe Rumble is going to test them here tonight….

-The referee shows both men the belt, and Rumble takes a clear photo of it, and then hands his phone to the referee.-

Referee: Come on, Rumble, let's go!

Rumble: Ugh….hold on! I need you to take a photo of me so I can use the Photoshop app to place the title on me!

Overdrive: If you want the title around your waist so bad, just BEAT ME!

Rumble: This is a sampler platter, doll...now if you could just hold on a secon-

-Overdrive wraps both of his hands around Rumble's neck, and HEAVES him across the ring-

Discord: Why won't anybody just let this poor man take pictures of himself? It's not harming anybody! The strength of Overdrive though is UNPRECEDENTED!

Match 9: Carnage Championship: Rumble w/ Horsepower, Flitter and Cloudchaser vs Overdrive

-13 minutes later-

-Overdrive levels Rumble with a running powerslam as the crowd boos-

Crowd: OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS! OVER-DRIVE-SUCKS!

-Overdrive lets out a war cry, as he signals for his Scoop Powerslam. The crowd boos even more-

Discord: Oh no….Rumble might be in trouble! Overdrive could be on his way to adding some GOLD to that clanky body!

-As Rumble stands up, his feet are immediately yanked by Flitter and Cloudchaser, causing him to fall. The two ladies pull him out of the ring, and out of harm's way. There are some boos, as the referee calls for the bell-

Discord: BRILLIANT. And who says managers aren't resourceful? Flitter and Cloudchaser just SAVED Rumble's championship aspirations!

-Overdrive looks on in disbelief, as Flitter and Cloudchaser, towed by Horsepower, lead a groggy Rumble up the ramp-

Announcer: Here is your winner…..Overdrive! -crowd boos- However, a champion can NOT be crowned via countout or disqualification….so the Carnage Championship….is STILL VACANT. -The crowd cheers loudly-

Discord: This is BEYOND interesting. How will this scenario play out? This pay per view is going to end without the first ever Carnage Champion being crowned!

-Overdrive seeths in the ring, as the crowd chants "THERE'S STILL HOPE!"

Discord: Here's a match I've been looking forward to, Thunderlane versus my new favorite male wrestler: the Under Baker.

Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the World Brawler's Championship!

-The sound of flames fill the arena, followed by vaguely creepy music in the background,Under Baker emerges with his oven in tow-

Announcer: Introducing the challenger: Weighing in at 245 pounds,standing at six foot,six inches tall, from bakeries unknown, The Under Baker!

Discord: Maybe Under Baker could write a book, titled: "How to cook a Champion"

*Redacted Theme*

Announcer: And approaching the ring, from Loneyville, weighing in at 218 pounds and standing five foot, eleven inches tall, he is the World Brawler's Champion, Thunderlane!

Match 10: World Brawler's Championship, Under Baker vs. Thunderlane

*15 minutes later*

-Under Baker hits *Baker's Dozen* on Thunderlane and picks up up to throw him into the oven, but Thunderlane manages to narrowly slip out and escapes the ring,he begins running up the ramp-

Discord: *Laughing* He's running away, I don't blame him.

-Thunderlane leaves and gets counted-out-

Announcer: And here is your winner, by way of count-out, Under Baker!

Discord: This is the second sublime title tonight to be retained via technicality, I love it.

*AS OF RIGHT NOW, THIS CHAPTER WILL NOT CONTAIN TRIXIE VS RAINBOW DASH FOR THE WORLD FIGHTERS CHAMPIONSHIP. I WILL EXPLAIN WHY IN AN UPDATE CHAPTER. FOR NOW, THOUGH, WE WILL CUT TO THE MAIN EVENT: LIGHTNING DUST VS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, FOR THE ETERNAL WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.*

Discord: It is now time, ladies and gentlemen….the sun has set, and the only sight more beautiful than the sunset...is our main event, for the Eternal Women's World Championship. The most IMPASSIONED rivalry in the EWF TODAY will take a brand new turn, when champion Lightning Dust...puts her title on the line...against Twilight Sparkle.

A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head…. -The arena is nearly FILLED with boos as Twilight Sparkle makes her way to the ring with Spike-

Discord: These two fierce rivals have been doing more TALKING than FIGHTING since this feud came to fruition in week 2. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust to earn this opportunity in the FIRST place, and then she pinned her AGAIN the week after. With this in mind, Twilight MAY have the advantage in the win column, but Lightning Dust, in my opinion, has dejected EVERYTHING Twilight has thrown at her in EVERY verbal confrontation these two have had. Twilight has been working with the SAME material week in and week out, while Lightning Dust brings something new to the table EVERY week! There will be no room for talking tonight, because Twilight can spout ALL of praise she wants...it's obvious that these two HATE each other, for different reasons.

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Discord: The crowd is pumped for this match, NO question about it!

Welcome to the Danger Zone! -Nearly ALL cheers-

Discord: And there she IS! The PROUD champion, Lightning Dust! She is all set to defend her title for the very FIRST time her tonight! She has her supporters, no doubt, but there are some out there that believe she is nothing more than a paper champion. They bring up points such as Lightning CHEATING to win the championship in the first place, and Lightning not being able to win a match SINCE earning the title. Well I believe that is all going to change tonight. Twilight has been LUCKY so far! Those two tag teams matches meant NOTHING. Momentum means NOTHING, because it can all be lost in a SPLIT SECOND, and Twilight is going to lose it ALL TONIGHT. THIS is the only match that matters, as Rumble said, as it's the BIGGEST one. It's the biggest match OF THE NIGHT, THAT'S why it gets the main event! Lightning Dust can lose ALL the matches in the world, but her early success SPEAKS for itself. She's in the MAIN EVENT of the first BIG event in Equestrian Wrestling Federation HISTORY. This, is the biggest platform she could be put on, and I believe she is going to SHINE.

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and it is for the ETERNAL….WOMEN'S….WOOOOOORRRLLDDDD...CHHHHAAAMMMPPIIOONNSSHHHHIIIIPP! -The crowd cannot contain themselves- Introducing...the challenger….-the boos start to pour in, but there are noticeable cheers from the kiddies- Accompanied to the ring...by SPIKE! From LONEYVILLE...weighing in at 123 POOOUUNNDSSS...TWWWWIIILLLLLIIGGHHTTT...SPPPAARRKKLLLEEEE!

-Twilight runs the ropes, as most of the fans boo-

Announcer: Aaaannddd….HER OPPONENT! -Cheers begin to flood in- From CLOOOUDSSSSDALE! Weighing in at 127 POOOOUNNDSSS...she is, the ETERNAL...WOMEN'S….WOORRLLDDD CHAAAMMPPIOONN...LLLLLLLLIGHTNIIIINNGGGG….DUST!

-Lightning Dust holds up her world title smugly, and taunts Twilight with it. She then hands it to the referee, and he shows it to both competitors-

-Spike leaves the ring, and Lightning and Twilight go face to face-

Discord: This is as intense as it can get before the bell even RINGS!

-A tiny part of the crowd chants "LET'S GO TWI-LIGHT" as the majority of the crowd counters back with a "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chant. They continue to do this until….-

So together we are lost on the moon…. -More crowd cheers, as Lightning Dust and Twilight REFUSE to take their eyes off one another-

Discord: Well THIS is a pleasant surprise! The general manager of Lunacy, Princess Luna, and the new EVP of Talent Relations, Star Swirlanaitis! They must want to get a closer look at this match. There IS a lot riding on it, so I can see how every executive in the EWF would be invested in it.

-Luna waves to the fans, and Swirlanaitis hive fives some of them. They walk to ringside, as their is a chair for each of them to sit in next to the announce table. Spike shakes both of their hands, and they take a seat. Swirlanaitis kindly asks the timekeeper to ring the bell, and he does-

Main Event: Women's Eternal World Championship: Twilight Sparkle w/ Spike vs Lightning Dust

-Twilight and Lightning STILL have their epic staredown going on, until Lightning throws the first punch. The crowd goes "YAY", but when Twilight throws one, they go "BOO." This sequence continues for a bit, until Lightning fires back with an enziguri, which she flips with, after Twilight's last punch. A big wave of cheers hit-

Discord: I have a feeling this match is going to be back and forth until one of these women hits their biggest move!
-33 minutes later-

-"THIS IS AWESOME" chants as Lightning Dust sets up for a moonsault. Twilight gets up right before she takes off and hits her with a dropkick, causing her to fall ladyparts first on the top turnbuckle.-

Discord: INCREDIBLE counter by the challenger there, that last ditch effort moonsault could've spelled the end of, as the crowd said, this AWESOME match. I was WRONG. EACH woman HAS kicked out of their opponents BIGGEST MOVE. Lightning Dust has kicked out of the Take A Note, and Twilight has kicked out of Astraphobia! I have NO IDEA what is going to be able to keep EITHER one of these PHENOMENAL competitors down for a 3 count!

-Twilight meets Lightning on the top rope, and wraps her hands around her waist-

Discord: This could be it, though! Is Twilight going for a….a German Suplex?! That would do MORE than enough damage to give her the title...but is it WORTH IT?

-Twilight launches herself and Lightning off the top rope in hopes of hitting a DEADLY German Suplex, but Lightning Dust LANDS ON HER FEET, to the roaring of the crowd-

Discord: HOLY CRAP! LIGHTNING DUST AVOIDS DISASTER! WHAT. A. COUNTER!

-Twilight can't believe it, as she rushes at Lightning Dust, but she is caught with a roundhouse kick to the head. More cheers from the crowd-

Discord: I think Lightning Dust is going to win! She's going to prove the whole WORLD WRONG!

-Lightning falls on her rump after the velocity of her kick, but before she can go for the pin, Swirlanaitis enters the ring, and knocks the official out with a punch to the head. The level of booing in the arena cannot be measured, as Lightning Dust's eyes bulge-

Discord: WHAT?! WHAT IS HE DOING?! MR. SWIRLANAITIS JUST TOOK OUT THE REF! TW-...TWILIGHT WAS KNOCKED OUT! KNOCKED. OUT!

Crowd: WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?

-Now trending on Twitter: "Lightning Dust", "Twilight Sparkle", "#ProvingGrounds"-

-Lightning Dust gets to her feet, and shoves Swirlanaitis-

Lightning Dust: THIS IS MY MOMENT! THIS WAS MY NIGHT! EVERYBODY THINKS I DON'T DESERVE THIS CHAMPIONSHIP, AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO PROVE THEM WRONG! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME?! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

-Swirlanaitis says nothing. He just stares at Lightning, as the crowd chants "LIGHT-NING-DUST!"
-Lightning Dust slaps Swirlanaitis without hesitation. The crowd "OOOH's" loudly.

Lightning: GET OUT OF THE RING! I'M LEAVING WITH THIS CHAMPIONSHIP TONIGHT, CORPORATE CONSPIRACIES BE DAMNED!

-Swirlanaitis puts his hands up in defense, and ultimately leaves the ring-

-Lightning continues to glare outside the ring at Swirlanaitis, before she is thwacked in the back of the head with her championship by…...Princess Luna-

Discord: No…..no…..th-there's no WAY I'm seeing this….

-Luna stands over Lightning Dust's unconscious body, gazing out at the crowd with an expressionless face.-

Crowd: BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT!

Discord: It-...it can't BE…..

-Spike scurries into the ring, and desperately flips Lightning onto her back. He then rushes over to Twilight, and DRAGS her helpless body over to her even MORE helpless opponent. He drapes one of his sister's arms over Lightning's chest.-

Discord: No! NO! This can't end this way!

-Luna calmly directs traffics, and Spike backs up into a corner, as Swirlanaitis enters the ring and stands by Luna. The boos NEVER cease, and never even DECREASE in volume as Luna drops to her knees, and counts 1….2…...3…..-

Discord: My god…..what have we just witnessed?

-Luna gets to her feet, also calmly, and calls for the bell to the be rung. A male fan tries to jump the barricade, but he is stopped by security as the bell rings.-

Announcer: Here is your winner…..and the NEEEEEWWW….Eternal Women's World Champion….Twilight…..Spaarrrkkleeee…..

-Spike helps his sister to her feet, and hands her the title. Twilight gladly takes it, and hugs her brother-

Discord: Does Twilight KNOW what has just transpired?! Ahuizotl! PLEASE tell me you have something to say about this!

-Ahuizotl never even touches his headset. He gets up from his chair, and walks to the back-

Discord: ….Lightning Dust was SCREWED! Screwed by her BOSSES….was she screwed by Twilight? Was Lightning Dust RIGHT? Is Twilight Sparkle REALLY a FAKE? Was this spiel about HONOR nothing but CRAP? Right now….it would appear SO!
-Swirlanaitis claps, as Luna raises the arm of Twilight, and points at her. Twilight then hugs Luna, as beers begin to be CHUCKED into the ring, staining the mat. One hits Luna in the face, and breaking her currently smiling character, she looks quite pissed.-

Discord: It looks like these fans could be RIOTING any MINUTE now! I don't really feel comfortable being out here…..

-Twilight goes out into the crowd to celebrate, but she is shoved off the barricade by a rabid male fan as she tries to enter the sea of people. Security immediately rush over and detain the flock of bloodthirsty fans that could possibly harm the new champion. Twilight looks IMMENSELY confused by these hostile reactions.-

-Sunset Shimmer marches out to the ring, as the crowd starts to cheer a little bit more. Sunset enters the ring, and gets in the face of Luna-

Sunset: WHAT? You wanna screw ME NEXT?! I'd LOVE to see you TRY! Rich should've NEVER let you anywhere NEAR his company!

-Twilight hears Sunset's squalls, and enters the ring with her title-

Twilight: It's over, Sunset! I've defeated your friend…..WHY do you feel the need to throw a tantrum?

Sunset: Don't bullshit me, SPARKLE! You just couldn't let Lightning Dust live her DREAM, COULD YOU?! You spoiled BRAT! You have to be handed EVERYTHING! First your JOB, and now the damn TITLE! I guess that's what happens when you kiss all the right ASSES!

Twilight: I honestly have NO IDEA what you're talking about...I won this title the way Lightning Dust didn-

-Twilight is interrupted by being taken down to the mat by Sunset. The crowd erupts in cheers as Sunset rains down fist onto Twilight-

Crowd: SUN-SET SHI-MMER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* SUN-SET SHI-MMER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Luna pulls Sunset off of Twilight, and gets elbowed in the face for her troubles! Even MORE cheers follow through. Swirlanaitis tries to intervene, and he gets kicked in the BALLS, followed by MORE CHEERS.-

-Sunset picks up the belt, and NAILS Twilight in the head with it! The cheers climax at this point. Sunset lays the title over Lightning's chest, and points at her-

Sunset: SHE'S THE REAL CHAMP! -The crowd cheers in agreement-

-The pay per view ends with Luna recollecting herself outside the ring, Swirlanaitis doubled over in pain, and Spike checking on his sister INSIDE the ring. Sunset lays flat on her stomach, like a teenage girl on her bed, and grins at Spike-

Canterlot Championship Wrestling is the EWF's new developmental system, where the future of the EWF will hone their craft. Here is what their current roster looks like:

Diane Ditzbrose (Derpy Hooves)

Beth Rainlins (Raindrops)

Rosely Reigns (Roseluck)

Featherweight

Cheese Sandwich

Maud Pie

Suri Polomare (Manager)

Coco Pommel

Gilda

C.A. Gomez

Steven Magnet

Flim

Flam

Donut Steel

Somberto Del Crysto (King Sombra)

Hayseed Turnip Truck

Dr. Caballeron

The Diamond Dogs (Rover, Fido, Spot)

Trenderhoof

Cloudkicker

Private Pansy

Toby Mason (OC from APoeticHeart's fanfiction series "A New Home")

Ember (From Danny Phantom cuz lul)

Lucy Heartper (originally an OC by the name of "Snowheart.")

Erica Rhonda (pronounced RO-EN-DA, originally an OC by the name of "Rhonda.")

Melody Howl (OC.)

Commentators: Miko (OC.) and Mighty Ball (Also OC.)

Champions:

CCW Champion: Ember

CCW Tag Team Champions: Lucy Heartper and Erica Rhonda

CCW Men's Champion: Somberto Del Crysto

(If you want any photos of the OC's, PM me and I'll message a photo link to you.)

Ahuizotl: And now it's time for the main event of the evening. The World Fighter's championship. Where Trixie-

Discord: Great and Powerful Trixie.

Ahuizotl: -Rolls Eyes- faces off against Rainbow Dash.

*Trixie's music plays, she enters the arena to booing and the occasional cheer*

Trixie: The following is the World Fighter's Championship match, now approaching the ring, from the city of Manhattan, standing at a menacing five foot, eleven inches tall, and weighing at a perfect 140 pounds, the soon to be World Fighter's Champion and the best wrestler in all of the Equestrian Wrestling Federation, the GRRRRRREEEEEEEAT AND POWERRRRRFUL TRRRRRRRRIXIE!

Discord: Trixie has thus far gone undefeated on Sublime, utilizing that seemingly unbreakable Ursa Lock to dominate the competition.

Ahuizotl: Well if anyone can beat that hold it's Sublime's other undefeated fighter, Rainbow Dash.

*You see me soaring through the sky,I see you below as you walk on by*

Announcer: And now introducing her opponent from Cloudsdale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!

*Loud Cheers*

Ahuizotl: Rainbow Dash certainly has the crowd behind her, that could go a long way.

Discord: Pfftt...crowd support means nothing.

Main Event: World Fighter's Championship, Rainbow Dash vs. Trixie

*11 minutes in*

*Rainbow Dash hits a Pain Rain on Trixie and lays her out on the announce table*

Ahuizotl: Or God here we go...I'm just going to back up now.

*Rainbow Dash climbs up the turnbuckle and hits a Sonic Raindrop, putting Trixie through the table*

Discord: Right through the table, that's gotta hurt...

*After a dazed moment Rainbow Dash gets up and rolls Trixie into the ring*

Ahuizotl: This could be the match right here folks.

*As Rainbow Dash is getting into the ring Trixie scrambles to her feet and pushes her back down onto the floor*

Discord: And the battle continues...

*23 minutes in*

*Trixie is laid out in the center of the ring, and Rainbow Dash is on the top of the turnbuckle*

Doctor Whooves: Could this be it?!

*Rainbow Dash goes for the Sonic Raindrop but Trixie dodges it at the last second and secures the Ursa Lock*

Discord: Only a matter of time now.

*Rainbow Dash desperately crawls for the ropes but is continually pulled back in, after two minutes of resisting she's forced to tap-out*

Announcer: And her- *Trixie grabs away the mic*

Trixie: Ladies and Gentlemen, the first ever World Fighter's Champion, the UNBEATABLE and ETERNAL TRRRRRRIIIXIIEEEE!

Match Results:

Match 1: International Championship Ten Woman Battle Royal, Commander Hurricane vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire vs. Applejack vs. Daring Do Daring Do Won

Match 2: Sublime Tag Team Championship: Beauty Shot (Pretty Vision & Photo Finish) vs The Spa Twins (Aloe and Lotus Blossom) The Spa Twins Won (Beauty Shot Retains)

Match 3: Steel Cage Match: Apple Bloom vs Babs Seed Apple Bloom Won

Match 4: World Brawlers Championship: Thunderlane vs The Under Baker UnderBaker Won (Thunder Lane retains)

Main Event: World Fighter's Championship: Rainbow Dash vs. Trixie Trixie Won

1. Trixie Position Change:0 Last Week:1 *World Fighter's Champion*

2. Overdrive Position Change:+5 Last Week:7

3. Scootaloo Position Change:-1 Last Week:2

4. Lightning Dust Position Change:-1 Last Week:3

5. Fancy Pants Position Change:+3 Last Week:8 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*

6. Gustave Le Grand Position Change:+3 Last Week:9 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*

7. Babs Seed Position Change:-3 Last Week:4

8. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:+7 Last Week:15 *Eternal Women's Champion*

9. Photo Finish Position Change:-4 Last Week:5 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*

10. Pretty Vision Position Change:-4 Last Week:6 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*

11. Cadance Position Change:+6 Last Week:17 *Crater Chick Champion*

12. Apple Bloom Position Change:+4 Last Week:16

13. Braeburn Position Change:-3 Last Week:10

14. Happy Trails Position Change:-3 Last Week:11

15. Pinkie Pie Position Change:-3 Last Week:12

16. Commander Hurricane Position Change:-3 Last Week:13

17. Sunset Shimmer Position Change:-3 Last Week:14

18. Diamond Tiara Position Change:0 Last Week:18

19. Turf Position Change:+5 Last Week:25 *1/2 Chick Combo Champion*

20. Silver Spoon Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A *1/2 Chick Combo Champion*

21. Twist Position Change:-2 Last Week:19

22. Flash Sentry Position Change:-2 Last Week:20

23. Shining Armor Position Change:-2 Last Week:21

24. Rainbow Dash Position Change:-2 Last Week:22

25. Daring Do Position Change:+4 Last Week:29 *International Champion*

26. Underbaker Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A

27. Snips Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A

28. Snails Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A

29. Colgate Position Change:-6 Last Week:23

30. Thunderlane Position Change:-5 Last Week:25 *World Brawler's Champion*

Entering the Power 30-

Silver Spoon: Silver Spoon has spent the last month being the only member of her group not on the Power 30, but her solid win of the Chick Combo Championship with tag team partner Turf has put her on the big list.

Underbaker: Despite not managing to claim the World Brawler's title due to regulations, Underbaker has made a very impressive and intimating showing recently. A no DQ rematch could make him champion.

Snips and Snails: This duo has spent most of their time in the shadows of Sunset Shimmer, however their dominant stance over the BroMans has allowed them to climb up into the P30.

Leaving the Power 30-

Spitfire: A string of losses and a lack of a PPV showing does not a Power 30 position make. Spitfire will have to earn an impressive victory to work her way back up.

Applejack: Applejack's momentum came to a brutal halt during her semi-finals tournament match, however a few wins could easily bolster her back onto the list.

Rarity: Rarity appears to be suffering from the same curse as Sublime's Spitfire. Losses and no PPV showing.

Berry Punch: Berry had tediously managed to get onto the 30th slot with an impressive display on Lunacy, however this impressive display was overshadowed by an unimpressive no-show in her PPV title match.

Superstars to watch out for:

Spa Twins: Despite recently being booted off the list the Spa Twins managed to pick up a Pay-Per-View victory, and regardless of the circumstances, that's worth something. Let's just hope they can stay on the list of they make it back on.

The Oddities: Much redemption was had for this stable at the recent PPV, and all it's members may enter the P30 soon.

Women's Eternal Word Championship:

Champion: Twilight Sparkle
1. Lightning Dust (N/A)
2. Cadance (2) =
3. Turf (9) ^
4. Sunset Shimmer (6) ^
5. Colgate (4) v
6. Scootaloo (3) v
7. Rarity (5) v
8. Silver Spoon (N/A)
9. Diamond Tiara (EIGHT) v
10. Berry Punch (7) v

World Fighters Championship:

Champion: Trixie
1. Daring Do (1) =
2. Rainbow Dash (2) =
3. Apple Bloom (10) ^
4. Spitfire (N/A)
5. Commander Hurricane (6) ^
6. Applejack (4) v
7. Babs Seed (5) v
8. Pinkie Pie (9) ^
9. Fluttershy (EIGHT) v
10. Sweet Tooth (7) v

Carnage Champion:

Champion: To Be Decided
1. Overdrive (1) =
2. Snails (10) ^
3. Snips (9) ^
4. Fancy Pants (5) ^
5. Gustave Le Grand (6) ^
6. Neon Lights (3) v
7. DJ Zema Ion (4) v
8. Hugh Jelly (N/A)
9. Horsepower (N/A)
10. Rumble (2) v

World Brawlers Championship:

Champion: Thunderlane
1. Underbaker (10) ^
2. Hoity Toity (6) ^
3. Prince Blueblood (7) ^
4. Big MacIntosh (1) v
5. Soarin (2) v
6. Steamer (3) v
7. Braeburn (4) n
8. Happy Trails (5) v
9. Squire ( v
10. Caramel (9) v

Crater Chick Championship:

Champion: Cadance
1. Sunset Shimmer (2) ^
2. Midnight Strike (7) ^
3. Silver Spoon (10) ^
4. Turf (N/A)
5. Cloudchaser ( ^
6. Flitter (9) ^
7. Sparkler (6) v
8. Colgate (5) v
9. Bon Bon (4) v
10. Rarity (N/A)

International Championship:

Champion: Daring Do
1. Commander Hurricane (1) =
2. Photo Finish (9) ^
3. Pretty Vision (10) ^
4. Spitfire (5) ^
5. Pinkie Pie (2) v
6. Fluttershy (3) v
7. Applejack (N/A)
8. Sweet Tooth (4) v
9. Octavia (N/A)

10. Cheerilee (6) v

Lunacy:

Twilight Sparkle: Lost in battle royal. Pinned Lightning Dust in 6 women tag. Pinned Lightning Dust in tag team. Beat Lightning Dust by pinfall. 3 wins (3 pinfall) and 1 loss (battle royal loss)

Midnight Strike: Competed in first ever televised EWF match. Lost to Twist by DQ. Lost in battle royal. Lost to Honeycomb by Pinfall. Pinned Cloudchaser in 6 person tag. 1 win (pinfall over Cloudchaser), and 3 losses (1 DQ, 1 battle royal loss, 1 pinfall)

Sunset Shimmer: Defeated Cadance by countout. Lost in battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in tag team. Snips pinned Flash in 6 person tag. Lost to Cadance by pinfall. 2 wins (1 countout, 1 assisted win) and 3 losses (1 battle royal, 1 assisted loss, and 1 pinfall)

Lightning Dust: First ever Eternal Women's World Champion, as well as first champion in EWF PERIOD. Won battle royal. Pinned by Twilight in 6 women tag. Pinned by Twilight in tag team. Lost to Twilight by pinfall. 1 win (battle royal), and 3 losses (3 pinfall)

Shining Armor: Fancy Pants pinned Flash Sentry in tag team. Snips pinned Flash in 6 person tag. Pinned by Snips in tag team. 0 wins and 3 losses (2 assisted losses, 1 pinfall)

Diamond Tiara: Lost to Scootaloo by DQ. Lost in battle royal. 0 wins and 2 losses 1 (DQ, 1 battle royal)

Silver Spoon: One half of the first ever Chick Combo tag team champions. Lost in battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in 6 women tag. Lost to Berry Punch by pinfall. Turf pinned Scootaloo in handicap. 1 win (assisted) and 3 losses (1 battle royal, 1 assisted loss, 1 pinfall)

Cadance: First ever Crater Chick champion. Lost to Sunset Shimmer by countout. Lost in battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in tag team. Snips pinned Flash in 6 person tag. Defeated Sunset Shimmer by pinfall. 2 wins (1 assisted, 1 pinfall) and 3 losses (1 countout, 1 battle royal, 1 assisted)

Flash Sentry: Pinned by Fancy Pants in tag team. Defeated Snails by pinfall. Pinned by Snips in 6 person tag. Snips pinned Shining in tag team. 1 win (pinfall) and 3 losses (2 pinfall, 1 assisted)

Scootaloo: Defeated Diamond Tiara by countout. Lost in battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in 6 women tag. Pinned by Turf. Pinned by Turf in handicap. 2 wins (1 countout, 1 assisted) and 3 losses (1 battle royal, 2 pinfall)

Rarity: Lost battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in 6 women tag. Defeated by Colgate by submission. Iron Woman Match with Colgate went to a draw. 1 win (assisted), 2 losses (1 battle royal, 1 submission) and 1 Draw

Lyra: Lost in battle royal. 0 wins and 1 loss (battle royal.)

Bon Bon: Lost in battle royal. Defeated Twist by pinfall. 1 win (pinfall) and 1 loss (battle royal)

Flitter: Lost in battle royal. Cloudchaser pinned Gizmo in handicap. Cloudchaser pinned by Midnight in 6 person tag. 1 win (assisted) and 2 losses (1 battle royal, 1 assisted)

Cloudchaser: Lost in battle royal. Pinned Gizmo in handicap. Pinned by Midnight in 6 person tag. 1 win (pinfall) and 2 losses (1 battle royal, 1 pinfall)

Snails: Pinned by Flash Sentry. Snips pinned Flash in 6 person tag. Snips pinned Shining in tag team. 2 wins (2 assisted) and 1 loss (pinfall)

Snips: Pinned Flash in 6 person tag. Pinned Shining in tag team. 2 wins (pinfall) and 0 losses.

Fancypants: Participated in first ever interbrand match. Also one half of the first ever Combo of Carnage tag team champions. Pinned Flash in tag team. Pinned Braeburn in tag team. 2 wins (2 pinfall) and 0 losses.

Fleur De Lis: Lost in battle royal. 0 wins and 1 loss (battle royal), though has led to the early success of the tag team known as EGO.

Colgate: Apart of the first ever Iron Woman match. Lost in battle royal. Defeated Twist by pinfall. Defeated Rarity by submission. Iron Woman match with Rarity went to a draw. 2 wins (1 pinfall, 1 submission), 1 loss (battle royal) and 1 Draw.

Horsepower: Pinned by Overdrive. Cloudchaser pinned Gizmo in handicap. Midnight pinned Cloudchaser in 6 person tag. 1 win (assisted) and 2 losses (1 pinfall, 1 assisted)

Berry Punch: Lose in battle royal. Pinned by Sparkler. Defeated Silver Spoon by pinfall. 2 losses (1 battle royal, 1 pinfall) and 1 win (pinfall)

"The Professor" Bill Neigh: Neon Lights pinned Clip Clop in tag team. 0 wins and 1 loss (assisted)

Clip Clop: Pinned by Neon Lights in tag team. Midnight pinned Cloudchaser in 6 person tag. 1 win (assisted) and 1 loss (pinfall)

Dance Fever: Defeated Rumble by pinfall. 1 win (pinfall) and 0 losses.

Hugh Jelly: Midnight pinned Cloudchaser in 6 person tag. 1 win (assisted) and 0 losses.

Gizmo: Pinned by Rumble in triple threat. Pinned by Cloudchaser in handicap. 0 wins and 2 losses (2 pinfalls)

Turf: One half of the first ever Chick Combo tag team champions. Lost in battle royal. Twilight pinned Lightning Dust in 6 women tag. Defeated Scootaloo by pinfall. Pinned Scootaloo in handicap. 2 wins (2 pinfall) and 2 losses (1 battle royal, 1 assisted)

Hoops: 0 wins and 0 losses.

Dumb Bell: 0 wins and 0 losses.

Twist: Competed in first ever televised EWF match, and the first ever Sauna match. Defeated Midnight by DQ. Lost in battle royal. Lost to Colgate by pinfall. Pinned by Bon Bon. Defeated by Sparkler in Sauna match. 1 win (DQ) and 4 losses (1 battle royal, 2 pinfall, 1 NUDITY)

Gustave Le Grand: Participated in first ever interbrand match. Also one half of the first ever Combo of Carnage tag team Pants pinned Flash in tag team. Fancy Pants pinned Braeburn in tag team. 2 wins (assisted) and 0 losses.

Honeycomb: Lost in battle royal. Defeated Midnight by pinfall. 1 win (pinfall) and 1 loss (battle royal)

Sparkler: Competed in first ever Sauna match. Lost in battle royal. Defeated Berry Punch by pinfall. Defeated Twist in Sauna match. 2 wins (1 pinfall, 1 NUDITY) and 1 loss (battle royal)

Neon Lights: Rumble pinned Gizmo in triple threat. Pinned Clip Clop in tag team. 1 win (pinfall) and 1 loss (assisted)

DJ Zema Ion: Neon Lights pinned Clip Clop in tag team. 1 win (assisted) and 0 losses.

Rumble: Pinned Gizmo in triple threat. Pinned by Dance Fever. Lost to Overdrive by DQ. 1 win (pinfall) and 2 losses (1 pinfall, 1 DQ)

Overdrive: Defeated Horsepower by pinfall. Defeated Featherweight by pinfall. Defeated Rumble by DQ. 3 wins (2 pinfall, 1 DQ) and 0 losses.

Sublime:

Trixie
Win-4
-4 Submission
Loss-0
Title Record-
-World Fighter's Champion, January 28,2014-
Other Achievements-
-Undefeated for a month
-4:0 Undefeated streak
-First ever World Fighter's Champion

Rainbow Dash
Win-3
-3 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 Submission
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Applejack
Win-2
-2 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Fluttershy
Win-1
-1 Submission
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Pinkie Pie
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Submission
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Commander Hurricane
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Daring Do
Win-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Battle-Royal
Loss-1
-1 Submission
Title Record-
-International Champion, January 28,2014-
Other Achievements-
-First ever International Champion

Spitfire
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Submission
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Soarin
Win-0
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 In-direct (Fatal-Four-Way)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Big MacIntosh
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-
-Tallest performer in EWF

Apple Bloom
Win-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Escape (Steel Cage Match)
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-
-Participated in the 1st Steel Cage match.

Thunderlane
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 Count-out
Title Record-
World Brawler's Champion- January 19,2014-
Other Achievements-
-First World Brawler's Champion

Sweetie Belle
Win-0
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record
Other Achievements-

Octavia
Win-0
Loss-3
-3 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Aloe
Win-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 DQ
Loss-1
-1 Submission
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Lotus Blossom
Win-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 DQ
Loss-1
-1 Submission
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Cheerilee
Win-0
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements

Braeburn
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-2 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-
-Participated in first ever interbrand match.

Blueblood
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Caramel
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Photo Finish
Win-2
-2 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 DQ
Title Record-
1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champions - January 5th,2014-
Other Achievements-
1/2 of First Sublime Tag Team Champions

Granny Smith
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-
-Oldest EWF Employee

The Underbaker
Win-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Count-out
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Vinyl Scratch
Win-0
Loss-3
-3 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Hoity Toity
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Pipsqueak
Win-0
Loss-1
-1 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Red Delicious
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Golden Delicious
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Happy Trails
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-2 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-
-Participated in first ever interbrand match.

Ace
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Inkie Pie
Win-0
Loss-3
-1 Pinfall
-1 In-Direct (Triple Threat Tag-Team)
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Blinkie Pie
Win-0
Loss-3
-1 Pinfall
-1 In-Direct (Triple Threat Tag-Team)
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Steamer
Win-0
Loss-1
-1 In-Direct (Fatal-Four-Way)
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Babs Seed
Win-2
-2 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Escape (Steel Cage Match)
Title Record
Other Achievements-
-Participated in first ever Steel Cage Match

Uncle Wing
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Sweet Tooth
Win-1
-1 Pinfall
Loss-2
-1 Pinfall
-1 Elimination (Battle Royal Match)
Title Record
Other Achievements-

Nurse Redheart
Win-0
Loss-2
-2 Pinfall
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Pretty Vision
Win-2
-2 Pinfall
Loss-1
-1 DQ
Title Record-
1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champions - January 5th,2014-
Other Achievements-
1/2 of First Sublime Tag Team Champions

Davenport
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Checkmate
Win-0
Loss-0
Title Record-
Other Achievements-

Age: 18
Allies: Diamond Tiara, Turf
Enemies: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Silver Surfer (Surfboard Stretch that ends in a jump into the mat), Natural Alloy
Finisher: Silver Lining
Family: No Information
Character Traits: Pompous, Snooty, Uppity, Haughty, Pretentious
Theme: Summer's Rae first NXT Theme
Background: Silver Spoon, like her best friend Diamond, was also born into money. Her family owned, and still owns to this day, the largest jewelry store in Equestria. Although, unlike her friend, she did not rub her natural wealth in the face of others. Where there's a will, there's a way, however.

Diamond Tiara used the only similarity between her and Silver, their rather large piggy bank, to manipulate her into thinking she was better than everyone else, only because her father's wallet was more tight than others. Silver, of course, very quickly fell to Diamond's word, and became her right-hand gal when it came to bullying the other school ponies.

At first, Silver was reluctant for the constant torment she was handing to everyone else, but she soon grew into the role after much coercing by Diamond. A few years later, with the nasty knowledge Silver had acquired from her BFF, she and her bestie were able to sour Turf's state of mind, and bring her into their sinister circle.

Though Silver is certainly a follower, there seems to be a genuine friendship between her and Diamond Tiara. We do not know how they interact when the cameras aren't rolling, but we assume they and Turf are a perfectly normal group of friends, with a twisted sense of indulgence.

Age:28
Allies: Spitfire
Rivals: None
Hometown: Cloudsdale
Signature Moves: Mach Jump, Smackberry Pie
Finisher: Terminal Velocity
Theme: TBD
Family: No information available.
Character Traits: Absent-minded,Laid back, Accepting, Faithful, Inattentive
Background Information: Soarin's early life was always rather uneventful. He attended school along with many of his other future colleagues. In his childhood he was often easily distracted and spent much of his time daydreaming. He was often considered to be a little bit slow which mind him subject to bullying at times, but he never took it to heart. It also helped that he had his future friend and love interest Spitfire to help look out for him.

Soarin later followed Spitfire through both the military and stunt flying business and they gradually grew closer together. He know follows her into the wrestling business. He's generally out-shined by his female counterpart but has never been that bothered by it, he's just along for the ride.

Age: 26
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armor, Spike
Enemies: Sunset Shimmer
Hometown: CrystalVille
Signature moves: Heart to Heart, Star Cross
Finisher: Love Affair
Theme: Sounds Of Life by Pendulum (featuring Jasmine Yee)
Family: Twilight Sparkle (in real life), Shining Armor (real life husband, storyline boyfriend)
Character Traits: Loving, Devoted, Romantic, Passionate, Well-mannered
Background: As a young girl, Cadance was given an insurmountable amount of love from her family and all those that knew her. To mom and dad, she was their "little princess." They pretty much spoiled her, though it never had an effect on Cadance's cute and courteous personality.

Despite being deemed a "princess", Cadance liked things that boys liked. She loved watching wrestling on television, though she never understood the concept of "villains." She didn't understand how Ecniv NohaMcM could be so mean to Evets Nitsua. But Ecniv wasn't the only one. It seemed like for every good guy Cadance rooted for, there was a bad apple to make her hero hurt.

Cadance could pout and cry all she wanted, but the bad guys never went away. If the nice wrestlers beat them, they'd just be back the next night to terrorize someone new.

Even when Cadance grew older, and learned the truth about wrestling, she would NEVER cheer for the heels. She knew they were likely nice people in life, but she would not show them love for what they had done to the nice wrestlers. Cadance was someone full of love, but would only shower it on those who had earned it.

In a cruel twist of irony, Cadance fell in love with someone her parents did not approve of. Someone her parents thought was like the bad guys she grew up loving to see lose. His name was Shining Armor. Cadance's parents did not approve of his "care-free attitude." The fact that Cadance would surf with him, and drive around town on his motorcycle ate away at them. Their princess was growing up, they knew that, but she was showing love to someone she shouldn't be.

Shining Armor wasn't a bad boy, but Cadance took notice of the way her folks looked at him. With discontent. She couldn't understand how they could dislike him. He was just so..easy to LOVE.

And then Cadance realized, that she too had been wrong about people. Those villains on TV were playing characters. Trying to garner money to support themselves and their families. Cadance disliked these nefarious characters, when there was really a lot to respect and like when she looked a bit deeper.

And her parents disliked Shining Armor because they weren't looking deep enough. All they saw was a leather jacket and they had a prime suspect for the corruption of their daughter. But there was SO MUCH good there. Cadance just had to make sure her parents saw it.

Shining Armor wasn't playing a character. He legitimately cared for Cadance. In due time, thankfully, Cadance's parents saw this, and finally realized that their princess was happy, and that her throne was behind Shining Armor on his motorcycle.

Years later, in a dose of MORE irony, both Cadance and Shining Armor ARE playing characters. But their admiration for each other….is no act.

Age: 25

Allies: Shining Armor, Sunset Shimmer

Enemies: Snips, Snails

Hometown: Downtown Manhattan

Signature Moves: Overcastle, Structurally Superfluous

Finisher: Flash Flood

Theme: Flash by Queen

Family: No information

Character Traits: Clumsy, Respectful, Considerate, Sympathetic, BRO

Background: Like his best friend, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry has followed a near identical path in life. He was a star Basketball player for the Canterlot Wondercolts, but never went to college for it. He instead signed up for the Military, maybe or maybe not because his bro had, as well.

However, 3 years into his term, Flash suffered a gruesome injury from a Hispanic sniper in the war. A Denel-Mechem NTW-20 shell went straight through Flash's femur, and literally TORE the head of the femur away from the hip socket. With low funds, there wasn't a doctor around that could treat Flash's possibly fatal wound. In a fit of desperation, Flash was flown back home and treated by the best surgeon in the state of Equestria. He was told to not put pressure on his leg for at least two years at minimum. Because of this, he was officially released from all military duties. Now Shining Armor would have no one to turn to with the pungent stench of death permeating through the air.

While he rehabbed, Flash rekindled his relationship with Sunset Shimmer. The two had broken up over an argument when Flash had told her he was being shipped to Guadalajara first thing in the morning. Sunset hadn't changed one bit; she was still as conceited as ever, but she wasn't nearly as demanding or needy as she had been before Flash had left, mainly because she knew Flash couldn't do much in his current state.

Sunset cared for Flash through all the pain and boredom, whether it was feeding him cups of pudding, or sleeping with him on the couch night after night for nearly 2 years. She wasn't perfect, that was for sure, but Flash would always appreciate how much she nurtured him. He had never felt in better health than the day he FINALLY got his cast taken off.

From then on, Flash promised to never leave Sunset's side, as she had done to him. No matter the hardship, Flash knew he could forgive her and wind up snuggling with her in the end. That's why he followed her to the EWF, so they could live out their dreams, and become the most successful couple in wrestling history.

Well...Flash also knows about Sunset's long history of stirring up unnecessary trouble. Going to have to watch out for that, too.

Name: Commander Hurricane
Age:26 (Estimated)
Hometown: Cloudsdale
Allies: Squire, Hurricane Guards, Babs Seed
Rivals: Daring Do
Signature Moves: Gale Force, Category 5 (C5)
Finisher: Legion
Theme: TBD
Family: No information available
Personality Traits: Aggresive, Violent, Commanding, Determined, Authorative
Bio: Commander Hurricane was found frozen an ice with her squire and a legion of her guards, when an archeology team unthawed them they were shocked to find that those inside the ice were still alive. It took a long time to convince Commander Hurricane that hundreds of years had passed and her empire was now gone, she spent two years in special facilities trying to re-intergrate her into society. Eventually those working with her decided that the only way to contain her violent nature was to put her in a place where she got hurt others legally. She was convinced that the EWF championships were symbols of great power and glory, and that was all she needed to hear before she agreed to go along with the plan.

Commander Hurricane enters the EWF with the advantages of a warrior's training and battle experience, but she'll first have to learn how to follow rules and regulations. Regardless, she'll undoubtedly try to turn the arena into a battlefield.

Name: Applejack
Age:23
Hometown: Loneyville
Allies: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, Granny Smith, Braeburn (+Unlisted Apple Dynasty Members)
Rivals: Film and Flam
Signature Moves: Down Home, Hard Truth
Finisher: Southern Hospitality
Theme: TBD
Family: Big MacIntosh (Brother), Apple Bloom (Sister), Granny Smith (Grandmother), Braeburn (Cousin), Happy Trails (Cousin), Sweet Tooth (Cousin), Red Delicious (Cousin), Golden Delicious (Cousin), Babs Seed (Cousin)
Personality Traits: Honest, Straightforward, Persevering, Hard-Working, Stubborn
Bio: Applejack's family has long ties to both Loneyville and Equestria, for as long as any of the Apple family can remember they have been hard-working farmers and frontiersmen/women. Applejack was raised believing that hard work and honesty can get you anywhere in life, and her work on the farm has helped make her into a strong competitor. This strength has carried her through many adventures in her life, both with her friends and on her own.

Her latest adventure is likely the biggest of them all however, the EWF. At least she won't be alone though, as it appears she has plenty of her family going in with her.

A massive trade has taken place between Sublime general manager Celestia, and Lunacy general manager Luna. The details are as follows:

Fluttershy will be traded to Lunacy for Colgate.

This now ruins any possible rematches between Colgate and Rarity, which have been having classic matches on Lunacy for the past two weeks. Fluttershy wasn't really used very much during her short run on Sublime, so we don't know how well she can scrap, but this is definitely a HUGE pickup for Sublime, as they need more heels.

Horsepower, Rumble's beefy bouncer/manager, is having his ring-name changed.

His new ring-name will be Bulk Biceps. Sounds a bit more intimidating if you ask me.

This change will be in effect starting on the next episode of Lunacy.

Lunacy:

Twilight Sparkle
Sunset Shimmer
Lightning Dust
Spike
Shining Armor
Diamond Tiara
Silver Spoon
Cadance
Flash Sentry
Scootaloo
Rarity
Lyra
Bon Bon
Flitter
Cloudchaser
Snails
Snips
Fancypants
Fleur de Lis
Fluttershy
Bulk Biceps
Berry Punch
"The Professor" Bill Neigh
Clip Clop
Dance Fever
Hugh Jelly
Geri
Gizmo
Turf
Hoops
Dumb-Bell
Twist
Gustave Le Grand
Honeycomb
"The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike
Sparkler
Neon Lights
Zema Ion
Rumble
Overdrive
Garble (Commentator)
Ahuiztol (Commentator)

Authority Figures:
Star Swirlanaitis (Executive Vice President of Talent Relations
Luna (General Manager)

Sublime:

Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie
The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie
Spitfire
Soarin
Big MacIntosh
Apple Bloom
Applejack
Colgate
Thunderlane
Sweetie Belle
Octavia
Aloe
Lotus Blossom
Cheerilee
Daring Do
Braeburn
Blueblood
Caramel
Photo Finish
Granny Smith
Doughnut Joe
Vinyl Scratch
Hoity Toity
Pipsqueak
Red Delicious
Golden Delicious
Happy Trails
Ace
Marble Pie (alternately Inkie Pie
Limestone Pie (alternately Blinkie Pie)
Steamer
Babs Seed
Uncle Wing
Sweet Tooth
Nurse Redheart
Pretty Vision
Davenport
Check Mate
Commander Hurricane
Squire
Discord (Commentator)
Dr. Whooves (Commentator)

Authority Figures:
Celestia (General Manager)

Tag Team's:

Lunacy:

Sunset Shimmer and Lightning Dust (More of an alliance, really.)
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Lyra and Bon Bon.
Flitter and Cloudchaser.
Diamond Tiara and Turf.
Turf and Silver Spoon.
Rarity and Twilight Sparkle (Again. More of an alliance and friendship.)
Cadance and Twilight Sparkle (Friendship.)
BroMans (Shining Armor and Flash Sentry)
SLIME (Snips and Snails)
EGO (Gustave Le Grand and Fancypants) (With Fleur de Lis as manager)
Hoops and Dumb-Bell
Horsepower and Rumble
NION Lights (Neon Lights and Zema Ion)

Sublime:

Beauty Shot - Photo Finish and Pretty Vision
Aloe and Lotus
The Ghost Girls - Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie
The Wonderbolts - Soarin and Spitfire (Cannot compete for EITHER tag team title because of gender restrictions, but that's why intergender matches exist.)
Red Delicious and Golden Delicious
Braeburn and Happy Trails
Canterlot Class - Hoity Toity and Blueblood
Couch-Mate - Davenport and Check Mate
The Apple Dynasty can also contain many tag teams

Stables:

Lunacy:

The Mean Girls - Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Turf
The Oddities - "The Professor" Bill Neigh, Clip Clop, Hugh Jelly, Dance Fever, "The Killer Bee" Midnight Strike (Basically the rejects of my brand. If they have to, though, they are not afraid to face off against each other.)
Rumble Roses - Rumble, Flitter, Bulk Biceps, and Cloudchaser. (Stable name based off of a video game with the same name.)

Sublime:

The Apple Dynasty - Applejack, Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Braeburn, Babs Seed, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Happy Trails, and Sweet Tooth.
Apple Corre - Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom, and Applejack (Managed by Granny Smith.) (Mini-stable that coincides with The Apple Dynasty.)

Champions:

Lunacy:

Women's Eternal World Champion: Twilight Sparkle
Champion of Carnage: To be determined
Chick Combo Champions: Silver Spoon and Turf
Crater Chick Champion: Cadance

Sublime:

World Fighters Champion: Trixie
World Brawlers Champion: Thunderlane
International Champion: Daring Do
Sublime Tag Team Champions: Photo Finish and Pretty Vision

Shared:

Combos of Carnage Tag Team Champions: Gustave Le Grand and Fancypants

Age: 18
Allies: Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom
Rivals: Turf, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Bow and Arrow, Stunted Growth (Running somersault shoulder block)
Finisher: Scootabuse
Theme: I'll Fly Higher by MandoPony and AcousticBrony
Family: No information (though she thinks of Rainbow Dash as a sister)
Characteristics: Impatient, Enthusiastic, Courageous, Fearless, Atychiphobia (fear of failure and letting others down)
Background: Scootaloo grew up just like every other child at some point: energetic, and always with big aspirations. But while most kids already KNEW what they wanted to be when they grew up, Scootaloo didn't. All she knew is that she wanted to be like the star athlete of Loneyville, Rainbow Dash. Whether that meant doing WHAT she did, which was playing a lot of sports, or CARRYING herself like she did; with dignity, and a mass array of confidence.

From afar, as Scoots watched every sport Dash partook in, from street Hockey to Badminton, she couldn't help but have the utmost admiration for Rainbow and her unparalleled athleticism and skill. The way she kicked a soccer ball from the other side of the field to the opposing team's goal with such ease, and at just the age of TWELVE, wowed Scootaloo beyond belief. It made Scootaloo absolutely EUPHORIC to see Rainbow Dash strut her stuff on the court, the field, the ice, wherever.

Then, one fateful day, Scootaloo built up the courage to confront Dash, who, in-turn, nonchalantly blew off Scootaloo's compliments to talk about...herself, and walked off. Young and naive Scootaloo was in such awe, though, she could only skip home in glee, and plan what she would say to her idol the next time she saw her.

Scootaloo was doing whatever she could to get Rainbow Dash to notice her again, even so much as stalking her, which was fine, since she was too young to understand what that meant. Dash noticed it after some time, and annoyingly told the eager girl to "buzz off, squirt." It wasn't until Scoots PLEADED with her hero to spend some time with her, which Dash accepted with a very annoyed and deep sigh.

Luckily, for both parties, they became great friends that day, and, over time, they thought of each other to be as close as sisters. They would each help each other with their problems, be it minor or life altering, and could usually be seen playing some kind of sport, whether for practice or for fun.

Around that same time, Scootaloo met two more friends whom didn't know what they wanted to do in life, either, though they were the same age as her (9 at the time.) Their names were Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle, and they had vowed, as a group, to find out what they were meant to do. With this intention in mind, they managed to terrorize the entire town of Loneyville about 3 times a week, though their supreme innocence saved them from many a punishment.

Years later, Scootaloo has found, along with her idol and two best friends, with an exclusive contract to the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. The bad news is, she is not on the same show as any of them.

Scootaloo will make all of her friends proud of her, though. She has, too….or else she'll be shattered...

Age:26
Allies: Applejack, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Braeburn (+Other Apple Dynasty Members)
Rivals: Flim and Flam
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Gosh-Darn-Beat-Down (GDBD), Honky-Tonk
Finisher: Tractor-Pull
Theme: Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean
Character Traits: Hard-Working, Reserved, Soft-Spoken, Tough, Protective
Family: Applejack (Sister), Apple Bloom (Sister), Granny Smith (Grandmother), Braeburn (Cousin), Happy Trails (Cousin), Sweet Tooth (Cousin), Red Delicious (Cousin), Golden Delicious (Cousin), Babs Seed (Cousin)
Background: Despite being by far the largest member of his family, Big Mac has always been the quietest. Generally keeping to himself from a young age and speaking out only rarely. Most of his time is spent focused on the task at hand, no time for chit-chat. His tremendous size and strength have made him a great asset on the family farm, and will undoubtedly give him a large advantage in his new job as well.

Big Mac now finds himself on Sublime, surrounded by his, very, very, very, large family. While some may doubt his potential mic skills, he'll definitely have the in-ring strength needed to make up for it.

Age: 24
Allies: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Spike
Enemies: Suri Polomare
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Beautification, Diamond in the Rough
Finisher: Sequin Special (Gory Special Bomb)
Theme: Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Russ Chimes Remix)
Character Traits: Generous, Overexaggerated, Perfectionist, Dramatic, Dignified
Family: Sweetie Belle (sister)
Background: Rarity was always someone who enjoyed the finer things in life. As a baby, she preferred to suck on diamond rings rather than pacifiers. She has never taken a shower in her life. Instead, she opts to take long, soothing and relaxing bubble baths every day to relieve stress. She is a material girl, you could say. Which is weird, because her parents weren't wealthy in the slightest. Rarity has just always liked pretty things.

At the age of 8, Rarity decided to MAKE something pretty. That turned out to be a purple scarf for her mom. It was tattered and tore apart after a week, but her mom loved it while she could, and her and her husband were so proud of Rarity. Rarity wanted to learn from her mistakes, so she learned from a middle aged woman named Cashmere all she could about the making of garments: how to correctly sew, stitch, and removing loose threads in the proper fashion.

The next scarf Rarity made was 5 months later, and her mom still uses it to this once the colder weather rolls around. Rarity continued to make a variety of clothes; socks, ties, ear muffs, even lederhosen. She designed costumes for school plays, and even designed soft blankets to keep her newborn baby sister, Sweetie Belle nice and snug as she slept peacefully.

Rarity always wanted to live in Canterlot, the fashion capital of Equestria. Where the most dapper clothes were worn by the most sophisticated men and women. However, the more Rarity grew up, the more she actually went outside for once, as even true artists need a break. She realized there were some wonderful people out there to be friends with. Friends talented and special in their own way, and friends that would be there for her no matter how much she whine-umm...COMPLAINED. They were friends that would respect and admire her talent, no matter how girly or off-putting it may be, and they wouldn't assume she was just a pompous bitch and walk off without even getting to know her.

Thankfully, these friends she made were 5 blessings without any disguises. Plus, she could share her talent with them, making whatever clothes they wanted, whenever they wanted them, no matter how much work it was, her friends were worth it. This, along with an actual visit to Canterlot, made Rarity realize that she DID belong in Loneyville. With her friends, and with her passion...fashion.

Now, in the EWF, Rarity gets the best of both worlds. She gets to make all of her own attires, and she gets the most bedazzling, BEAUTIFUL diamonds of them all…

The EWF championships….

Age: 25
Allies: Bon Bon, Octavia
Enemies: People who don't like corgis.
Hometown: Loneyville (formerly lived in Canterlot)
Signature Moves: Corg in the Machine, Dog Days
Finisher: Corgscrew Neckbreaker (Moonlight Drive)
Theme: Lyra's Bon Bon Addiction by Sim Gretina
Character Traits: Excitable, Obsessive, Defensive, Animated, Perky
Family: Bon Bon (real-life AND storyline girlfriend)
Background: As her moveset would dictate, Lyra is a fan of dogs. Not just any dog, mind you, but a fan of Corgis. The furrier, pointier version of the dachshund has always made Lyra giddy beyond all belief. That was her first pet, and her only pet in her life. If one corgi ran away or passed away, she would beg her parents to get her another one, and they would. Now as an adult, she could buy more, but she needs enough money. This is where the EWF comes in. She could amass a corgi army with the money she receives from the EWF.

And she would get to share all of these cute corgis with the love of her life, Bon Bon. To Lyra, her name speaks for itself, as Bon Bon is as sweet as a carton of the candies alone. The two met during Lyra's biggest concert performance to date, at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Lyra was playing the lyre, which she had learned to play at age 11. Octavia was also there, playing the cello. Lyra and Octavia had become good friends through Band in high school. Anyway, Lyra noticed the beautiful woman in the crowd (Bon Bon) and started screwing up her notes. She could never recover. The New York lovelies booed Lyra, with tears in her eyes, off of the stage, Octavia following to console her.

After the dreadful show, Lyra was face to face with the lovely woman who had just inadvertently cost her her music career. Bon Bon complimented Lyra on her stellar performance, up until the incident. Lyra was stunned, and Bon Bon followed it up by asking if she could hear the rest of her set. Lyra stopped crying, and said yes.

Nowadays, Lyra lives with Bon Bon at her home in Loneyville, which also doubles over as her candy store. She had to give up music, as apparently her biggest performance at MSG ended up being her last. Nobody would book Lyra anymore on account of her colossal failure, though Octavia wound up becoming more successful in spite of it, so Lyra didn't really care all that much. She was proud of her friend, and she had Bon Bon to ease the pain. At the end of the day, she was the only one Lyra wanted to play for, anyway…

Age:18
Allies: Scootaloo,Sweetie Belle,Applejack,Big MacIntosh,Granny Smith (+Other Apple Dynasty Members)
Rivals: Babs Seed, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon
Hometown: Loneyville
Signature Moves: Apple Zoom, Bow-Tie Lock
Finisher: Late Bloomer
Theme: TBD
Family: Applejack (Sister), Big MacIntosh (Brother), Granny Smith (Grandmother), Braeburn (Cousin), Happy Trails (Cousin), Sweet Tooth (Cousin), Red Delicious (Cousin), Golden Delicious (Cousin), Babs Seed (Cousin)
Character Traits: Adventurous, Eager, Stubborn, Curious, Independent
Background: Being the youngest member of the family hasn't always been easy for Apple Bloom. Her family was often over-protective of her, Applejack in particular. Although the way her adventurous antics always landed her in sticky situations didn't help her earn her independence any faster. However, after time Apple Bloom was able to convince her kin that she could survive on her own.

Apple Bloom and her best friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, have always tried to discover their purpose in life. Now their big goal has changed, to discover their purpose in the EWF. And although the group may be currently split, they will definitely continue with their quest to find this purpose.

It is time for the first annual Equestrian Wrestling Federation monthly awards. Each month, the best of the best in numerous categories will be chosen by the general managers themselves, Luna and Celestia!

Each GM chose a minimum of 4 superstars from their brand to fit each category. Then, the GM of the opposite brand chooses the winner of said category. After all is said and down, the winners of the Lunacy and Sublime categories will square off to see whom is really the best of that category.

SUBLIME:

Best Wrestler:
-Trixie -WINNER
-Daring Do
-Thunderlane
-Rainbow Dash
-Commander Hurricane
-Photo Finish
-Pretty Vision
-Under Baker
Best Heel:
-Trixie
-Commander Hurricane - WINNER
-Babs Seed
-Photo Finish
-Hoity Toity
-Blueblood
Best Face:
-Rainbow Dash - WINNER
-Daring Do
-Apple Bloom
-Thunderlane
-Braeburn
-Happy Trails
Best Micworker:
-Trixie
-Commander Hurricane - WINNER
-Daring Do
-Apple Bloom
-Babs Seed
-Braeburn
-Happy Trails
Best Gimmick:
-Trixie
-Commander Hurricane
-Daring Do
-Under Baker - WINNER
Best Match:
-Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed Steel Cage
-International Championship 10-Woman Battle Royal Daring Do vs. Commander Hurricane vs. Applejack vs. Pinkie Pie vs. Fluttershy vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Cheerilee vs. Inkie Pie vs. Blinkie Pie vs. Spitfire
-Apple Bloom vs. Babs Seed No-DQ
- Applejack vs Rainbow Dash - WINNER
-World Fighter's Championship Trixie vs. Rainbow Dash
Most Shocking Moment:
-Commander Hurricane's assault on Daring Do
-Octavia abandoning Vinyl Scratch
-Under Baker's Debut
-Daring Do's Debut - WINNER
Best Tag Team:
-Braeburn and Happy Trails
-Beauty Shot - WINNERS
-Canterlot Class
-Spa Twins

LUNACY:

Best wrestler: Rarity, Lightning Dust, Twilight Sparkle, Scootaloo - Scootaloo wins
Best heel: Sunset Shimmer, Diamond Tiara, Rumble, Turf - Sunset Shimmer wins
Best face: Scootaloo, Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, The Oddities - Scootaloo wins
Best micworker: Lightning Dust, Diamond Tiara, Berry Punch, Sunset Shimmer - Lightning Dust wins
Best gimmick: Rumble, Berry Punch, The Oddities, Neon Lights, Star Swirlanaitis - Rumble wins
Best match: Rarity vs Colgate (30 Minute Iron Woman Match), Lightning Dust vs Twilight at Proving Grounds, Cadance vs Sunset Shimmer at Proving Grounds, Scootaloo vs Turf (1-22-14) - Rarity vs Colgate wins
Most shocking moment: Twilight turns heel at Proving Grounds, Bulk Biceps rams Midnight Strike into the barricade, Cadance beats Sunset Shimmer at Proving Grounds, Cadance spears Sunset Shimmer off of the balcony through some tables - Cadance spearing Sunset Shimmer wins
Best tag team: EGO, Turf & Silver Spoon, Snips and Snails (SLIME), Berry Punch and Scootaloo - EGO wins

BEST OVERALL:

Best wrestler: Scootaloo vs Trixie - Trixie wins
Best heel: Sunset Shimmer vs Commander Hurricane - Sunset Shimmer wins
Best face: Scootaloo vs Rainbow Dash - Scootaloo wins
Best micworker: Lightning Dust vs Commander Hurricane - Commander Hurricane wins
Best gimmick: Rumble vs Under Baker - Under Baker wins
Best match: Rarity vs. Colgate 30 Minute Iron-Woman Match, Rainbow Dash vs. Applejack - Rarity vs Colgate wins
Most Shocking Moment: Cadance spearing Sunset Shimmer off a balcony through a table, Daring Do's Debut - Daring Do wins
Best tag team: EGO vs Beauty Shot - Beauty Shot wins

*The beautiful people...OOOHHHHHH….*

-Monday Night Lunacy RETURNS to with a dazzling session of fireworks that pumps up the crowd inside the already infamous Loneyville Asylum. The camera pans across the patrons of the newest craze in sports entertainment, and then cuts to Lunacy's famed announce team, Garble and Ahuizotl!-

Garble: We...are….LIIIIVE! -Gets up from his seat and gazes out at the rabid Lunacy fans- Welcome EVERYBODY….to Monday! Night! LUNACY!

Ahuizotl: I don't know about you, boy, but it seems like it's been AGES since we've sat at this table together!

Garble: -Sits down- I know what you mean, 'Zotl! It's only been a week! I hope you didn't miss me too much Sunday…-winks at his partner- I saw your little MELTDOWN.

Ahuizotl: -sighs- Yes, well...let's put that behind us. I was VERY unprofessional midway through the pay per view last night, and I thank Mr. Discord for picking up the scraps. It was a JOY getting to see his wild antics live. And it was also a joy not having to put up with YOU for once!

Garble: Aww...I love you, too!

Ahuizotl: I must ask, though….how was your brief stay in the...uhh…?

Garble: You know, it actually made PERFECT sense! Last week started with me in the Loneyville Asylum, and it ended with my release from an ACTUAL Asylum! I've come full circle, 'Zotl! By the way, you're WELCOME….

Ahuizotl: For what, boy?

Garble: Pfft. For saving your HIDE. I ate that turnbuckle as a way of taking a BULLET for YOU! I truly am the glue that holds this tandem TOGETHER.

Ahuizotl: I'll be sure to have my people send you the ripest fruit basket possible…-rolls his eyes- Speaking of coming full circle, last night, was the EWF's first EVER pay per view...Proving Grounds!

Garble: It was a shame I wasn't able to make it, but the only 24 inches that took up that white room I was in was the pay per view itself, and it turned out WONDERFULLY!

Ahuizotl: Social media LIT UP at the events of last night's special evening, and the EWF made NATIONAL EQUESTRIAN HEADLINES this morning! We're officially ON THE MAP!

Garble: And I dare ANY SPORT to knock us off! You won't find more bang for your buck than you will here at the Equestrian Wrestling Federation!

Ahuizotl: Champions were crowned, partnerships were severed, and legacies were forged last night at Proving Grounds….tonight on Lunacy...the complete FALLOUT from Proving Grounds, including what will be one HELL of a main event! A rematch from last night, to crown the very first Carnage Champion!

Garble: Flitter and Cloudchaser did what ANY manager would do, as they were able to narrowly SAVE the Carnage title from falling into the chromatic clutches of Overdrive. Tonight, Overdrive's eyes are going to have to go into OVER-TIME, as he must keep his eyes on the crafty Rumble, as WELL as the ravishing Roses. That, and much more, TONIGHT!

*Only perfection around….*

-The crowd boos furiously as Star Swirlinaitis and Luna enter the arena. Luna is carrying a black duffel bag in her hands.-

Ahuizotl: I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my composure during this segment….

Garble: Aye, let's not have a repeat of last night. We've got enough tension in this place with the EWF fans wanting these two's heads on a silver platter!

Ahuizotl: Well, the question on EVERYONE's mind is just WHY the hell did these two cost Lightning Dust the Eternal Women's title last night?! Surely that shouldn't be too hard a code for them to decipher!

Garble: Calm down….I'm sure that's why they're out here….

-Lunacy's newest ringer announcer, Madden, takes the microphone-

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome….the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations...STARRR SWIRLINAITIS! And the General Manager of Lunacy...LUUUUNNAAA! -The crowd boos even more-

Garble: Your voice will never be as good as mine, Madden!

-Swirlinaitis holds the ropes open for Luna, and succeeds her in getting in the ring-

Ahuizotl: I wonder what is in that case Luna is holding….

Garble: Probably a raise for yours truly!

Ahuizotl: Aww...thank you for the seal of approval, boy, but this experience is worth all the money in the world….

Garble: What-I-dammit!

-Swirlinaitis grabs a microphone, as the fans rain down chants of "YOU SCREWED LIGHTNING" along with their trademark 5 claps-

Swirlinaitis: My name….is Mr. Star Swirlinaitis….-boos-...I am the Executive Vice President...of Talent Relations….I would like to, on the behalf of the Board of Directors, thank the EWF Univeveve..Universe -the crowd cracks up. Even Luna is having a hard time holding in her laughter- for ordering Proving Grounds! -Throws a thumbs up into the air, and hands the mic to Luna-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! -Snickers-

Garble: STOP LAUGHING, YOU INGRATES! THAT MAN WILL BE SIGNING THE CONTRACTS OF THE SUPERSTARS OF TOMORROW!

Luna: Yesterday...was a turning point for sports entertainment…-the crowd begins to boo again- the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is making moves in the national sports world, and it is all thanks to our loyal fans, like the ones here tonight! -Luna smiles wide, but the crowd isn't buying it. Swirlinaitis claps- Yesterday was the first step, in the Revolution! And tonight, that Revolution will continue, and we thank you all for being a part of it…..

Crowd: WE WANT LIGHTNING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT LIGHTNING! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: There are things businessmen like Mr. Swirlinaitis, and business women like me must do, to insure that the EWF stays on track, to make sure that Monday Night Lunacy is kept PURE and SACRED...for YOUR viewing pleasure, and last night...we took extreme measures. We defended the longevity of not only this BRAND, but this entire COMPANY! Only ONE thing needed to be done, only ONE THING to bring forth the motto….of Best...for BUSINESS. -boos- And that was to make sure, that Lightning Dust did NOT walk out of Proving Grounds, your Eternal Women's World Champion…..

Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

Luna: Lightning Dust is, simply put, a PUNK. She didn't give you fans the respect that you DESERVE! She made FOOLS out of you! She never won a single match as champion, and she won the title through COWARDLY means! -massive boos- You cheer for her only because she has a care-free attitude….she doesn't care about the rules! You all wish you could defy your bosses at work, but you CAN'T, because they sign your CHECKS! She was the most DISRESPECTFUL representative that Lunacy could've HAD as champion, and she never gave a DAMN about you fans! She never gave your loyalty any attention...is was ALWAYS about...herSELF….that's not how it should be!

Crowd: LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS!

Luna: Twilight Sparkle brings credibility BACK to the Eternal Women's championship. She brings HONOR and RESPECT...to the Eternal Women's championship. And she will DEFEND it with DIGNITY! She will not turn her back on you, the EWF fans! She is….the PEOPLE's….CHAMPION. Truly...Twilight Sparkle IS….Best….for BUSINESS. -so many boos-

Crowd: TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS! TWI-LIGHT SUCKS!

Luna: She has the ENTIRE EWF Board of Directors...STAMP of APPROVAL. Enough praise from us for now, however. Tonight, you will see YOUR CHAMPION...in all of her glory...LIVE, when she gives her Championship Address! -boos-

Ahuizotl: That's gonna be a sight to behold for sure! I'd like to see Twilight's take on all of this…

Garble: I'm sure she's ADULATED that she is held in such high regard by the lovely Ms. Luna!

Swirlinaitis: Now...onto more Business at hand….last night, Cadance defeated Sunset Shimmer, to become the very FIRST Crater Chick Champion! -mixture of boos and cheers- It was a classic match. Cadance fought through the pain of an earlier leg injury and eked out a win in the end. However, the good news ends there….after getting her leg crushed in between a steel chair by Sunset herself, the EWF medical staff ran some tests, and, me and General Manager Luna...have the utmost responsibility to let you all know, that Cadance is currently suffering from a hairline fracture in her ankle, and could be out of action for a maximum of 4 months.

Ahuizotl: That's a shame…

Garble: So, what now?

Luna: Fortunately, Cadance is a tough gal, and will recover fully. The unfortunate news is that a championship MUST be defended at LEAST ONCE A MONTH. In the case of Cadance, that just ISN'T going to happen. With that in mind, we would like Sunset Shimmer to come down to the ring at ONCE.

*And now...it's all over now…* -Many a cheer is heard as Sunset Shimmer makes her way down to the ring with a scowl on her face-

Ahuizotl: I find it despicable what this woman did to Cadance last night! She's targeted her and her boyfriend Shining Armor for a month now, and injuring her leg seemed to be the final blow!

Garble: I'm sure Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis will handle it accordingly. Whatever they do, I'm sure it will be Best For Business!

Ahuizotl: -groans- I REALLY hope that doesn't catch on…

Garble: If the Lunacy fans get ahold of it, you bet your ass it will!

-Sunset enters the ring, glaring down her superiors-

-Luna is about to speak, but Sunset snatches the mic from her, causing the crowd to cheer-

Sunset: As satisfying as it was to break Cadance's leg last night...NOTHING would make me happier than to TEAR YOU TWO APART after what you did! -crowd erupts with cheers as Swirlinaitis grabs an extra mic- So what the hell do you two want?

Swirliniaits: We wanted you out here Ms. Shimmer...to conGRATULATE you….-Sunset raises an eyebrow and Luna nods- For the past month, you have proven yourself to be the most RUTHLESS and VILE competitor in all of the EWF...you've nearly torn apart relationships, whether it be tag teams or more PERSONAL ones. You've perpetrated MANY a evil deed, all to become the Crater Chick champion….

Sunset: Thank you for the exposition! Get to the climax.

Luna: What Mr. Swirlinaitis is trying to say is….we fully respect that, and YOU. -crowd boos, as Sunset smirks and shakes her head- We understand that you are friends with Lightning Dust, and we have no problem with you looking out for her. That's not ALL we respect, though. We respect that you are willing to do ANYTHING to succeed in this business. A cut-throat business, no doubt.

Sunset: Soooo...what? You gonna give me a medal?

Luna: Not quite. You will be given something MUCH better. As stated, with Cadance injured, there is NO Crater Chick Champion as of right now….we feel that that this should change. Hold this, Mr. Swirliniaits…-Luna hands him her mic, and picks up the leather duffel bag from the floor. Swirlinaitis puts the mic in front of her mouth as Luna begins unzipping it- Sunset Shimmer….on behalf of myself, and Mr. Swirlinaitis...we would like to present to YOU...the Crater...Chick...Championship! -Luna pulls out the title, and hands it to Sunset-

Ahuizotl: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Garble: What a great move by our WONDERFUL management! Sunset Shimmer TOOK out the champion, that means she has claimed it for herself!

Ahuizotl: That's the dumbest logic I've ever heard! She didn't earn that title!

Garble: Umm, are you not paying attention? Luna just GAVE it to her!

Ahuizotl: That doesn't mean she deserves it! By your logic, anybody could come out here right now, beat you up, and take your commentary spot!

Garble: A commentary spot isn't a championship, 'Zotl! Also, I could take on ANYBODY in this audience! Why can't you be happy for the NEW Crater Chick champion?!

-Sunset Shimmer takes a long look at the title, before mashing her lips into it-

Ahuizotl: I am going to be sick….

-Swirlinaitis and Luna clap. Luna stands to the right of Sunset, and Swirlinaitis stands to the left. They both raise a hand of hers as Sunset is grasping the Crater Chick title in her right hand-

Swirlinaitis: Ladies and gentlemen...your NEW...Crater Chick CHAMPION….SUNSET….SHIMMER! -The crowd is silent, not sure whether to cheer or boo. The three in the ring however are ecstatic, Sunset grinning manically-

Ahuizotl: This crowd is in a hush…. -Sunset Shimmer's theme plays-

Garble: They're just being respectful to this show's authority, as well as the new holder of the Crater Chick championship!

Ahuizotl: I think they realize that everything has just gone to crap…

Garble: WHAT?! I think this show is better than ever with the "Best For Business" motto at the helm!

Ahuizotl: Why don't you go join them in the ring then, you puppet?

Garble: Because the fans at home will change the channel without me at the booth. I'm fine with showing my respect right where I am! -Garble stands up, and claps furiously-

Ahuizotl: Please get well soon, Cadance….I don't know how much of this I can take….

-The scene fades as Luna, Sunset, and Swirlinaitis leave the ring. We cut backstage to that Shining Armor has watched this whole scene unfold. He is rubbing his temples. He then pulls out his cell phone and dials a number-

Shining: Ponyville Urgent Care? … Yes...can you put me on with Cadance? … Thank you. … Hi, sweetie! Did you see what happened out there? … -frowns- I know, I know, it's not fair in the slightest! … No, baby, don't stress yourself too much. You don't want to put any more strain on your ankle. … I know how ticked off you are. I'm pretty pissed myself! … I will make you proud, baby. Every match I have from now until you come back I am dedicating to YOU. … I have no idea what I'm going to do about Flash...we haven't talked since during, well, your match...I'm so worried, though. This bitch is trying to take EVERYTHING from us! … I don't know what I can do about it...I mean, I shouldn't hit a woman, no matter how much she deserves it… … -chuckles- Alright then, it's settled! I'll spare her for you! … I miss you, too, you have no idea! I'll be right over as soon as the show is done, alright? … It's a date. I love you, too.. -hangs up, and then stressfully falls back in front of his locker room cubby, putting his hands over his face-

*Commercial break*

-As we come back from break, we see that Lyra is in the ring, ready for action. Bon Bon is on the apron rubbing her shoulders. She then gives her a good luck kiss and the men in the audience cheer and wolf whistle.-

Ahuizotl: At least I can look forward to the cute relationship of Lyra and Bon Bon.

Garble: That always brightens the mood. Not that my mood needed brightened anyway!

Ahuizotl: Lyra will be making her singles debut tonight. Her and Bon Bon both were eliminated in the battle royal, and a few weeks ago Bon Bon defeated Twist. Let's see who Lyra is facing tonight….

*Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true!* -Mostly boos, but a few wackos are cheering-

Garble: Can it be?! THERE'S NO WAY THERE'S NO WAY THERE'S NO WAY!

-Diamond Tiara comes out WITHOUT HER NECKBRACE, flanked by Silver Spoon and Turf-

Garble: I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER! IT'S DIAMOND TIARA!

Madden: AND her opponent! Accompanied to the ring, by the NEEEWWW...Chick Combo CHAMPIOOONNSSSS...Turf, and SILVERRR SPOOOONN! From LONEYVILLE….weighing in at 117 pounds….DIIIAAAMMOONNDD….TIIIAARAAA!

Garble: BEST LUNACY EVER! I NEED OXYGEN!

Ahuizotl: Calm down, fanboy…

Garble: HOW DARE YOU. Diamond Tiara is BACK for in-ring competition, and you show NO INTEREST!

Ahuizotl: I am interested in EVERY match. I just don't feel the need to overexaggerate during an ENTRANCE. Wait until she wins, for God's sake…

Garble: WHAT-I-WHAT-I-WHAT-I-AAAAAHHH! -kicks his feet against the announce table-

Turf: -Holding her tag team title high in the air- The Mean Girls have ARRIVED...BITCHES! BERRY PUNCH IS A WORTHLESS ALCOHOLIC, AND SCOOTALOO IS AN ORPHAN! YOU LOVE THEM BOTH, AND WE BEAT THEM BOTH!

-Silver Spoon snickers, and high fives her partner-

Ahuizotl: I would love to have Turf over for dinner….

Garble: She's like one of those trickshotters on Call of Duty...but sexier.

Ahuizotl: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Garble: Pfftt. You fossil.

-Diamond Tiara blows a kiss to the crowd, which causes them to boo even more. She then signals for Lyra to "get out of her spotlight." She throws one hand high up in the air, and slides her other hand down her side-

Ahuizotl: Non-the-less, as spoiled as these three act, they are the most successful tandem in the EWF, that is for sure. Last night, Silver Spoon and Turf, no matter the circumstances, became the first ever Chick Combo champions.

Garble: It was so inspirational, that Diamond Tiara was able to come off of the injured reserve! YAY!

Ahuizotl: I know for a fact that Scootaloo is here tonight, however, and I have a feeling that she WILL get answers from the woman who left her high and dry last night...Berry Punch.

Garble: That's LATER, though, 'Zotl! For now, let's ENJOY the RETURN of the one, the ONLY, DIAMOND TIARA!

Match 1: Lyra w/ Bon Bon vs Diamond Tiara w/ Turf and Silver Spoon

-Immediately, as the bell rings, Turf and Silver Spoon move over to the other side of the ring to chastise Bon Bon-

Turf: Hey, CARPET MUNCHER! You and your CORGI CUNT CLIT-COLLIDER will NEVER be champions!

Silver Spoon: NEVER! -She and Turf laugh as they shove their titles in Bon Bon's face-

-Lyra notices this, and uses the ropes to send her feet flying at Turf and Silver Spoon. They hit directly, knocking down Bon Bon's oppressors.-

Ahuizotl: Good for you, Lyra! Stand up for your girl!

Garble: I suppose they were asking for it. Lyra needs to pay attention to the match, though!

-Lyra leans over the first and middle ropes, hugging her girl. Diamond Tiara uses this opportunity to rush at Lyra. She launches her feet similar to how Lyra did to her besties just moments ago. The momentum causes Lyra's ribcage to crash into the middle rope, and then her back to reverb into the top rope. The crowd "OH's" in response.-

Garble: I told her to watch out. X's and O's can wait until AFTER you win!

Ahuizotl: I can't argue with you, boy. A mistake by Lyra that was. And now Diamond Tiara is taking advantage…

-Diamond Tiara sits Lyra in a seated position, and drives her knee into her back, grabbing her arms and pulling them back to apply more pressure. All the while, Bon Bon has her hands over her mouth in a mortified fashion.-

*7 minutes later…*

-Diamond Tiara attempts to hit the Diamond Cutter by the ropes, but Lyra counters by shoving her into the turnbuckle. When Diamond turns around, Lyra kicks her in the gut, and cranes her neck-

Ahuizotl: Feeding off her obsession of Corgis, Lyra is about to hit the Corgscrew Neckbreaker!

Garble: Ugh...what a stupid name….

-Lyra begins to twist her body, but at the last second, Diamond reaches out her hand and grabs the middle rope, in turn causing Lyra to front-flip herself and crash in burn into the mat-

Garble: Incredible ring presence by Diamond Tiara! She literally just made Lyra hit her on move on HERSELF!

Ahuizotl: Can she reap the rewards, though?

-Lyra quickly gets up, though she is holding her back. And when she turns around, she is met by the full frame of Diamond Tiara running at her-

*DIAMOND CUTTER!*

Garble: You're damn right she can! Diamond Cutter by the brightest diamond of all!

*1….2…..3!* -the crowd boos as the bell rings-

Garble: She did it! What a contest! What a win! Diamond Tiara is a champion in the making!

Madden: Here is your winner...DIIIAAAMMOONDD..TIIIIAARRAAAAA!

Ahuizotl: I'll give her a lot of credit. Diamond hasn't been in action since the first episode of Lunacy, but she showed absolutely NO ring rust.

Garble: Of course she didn't, 'Zotl! She's the Queen! She will NEVER disappoint me!

-Diamond turns her back on Lyra, and swipes her feet across the mat-

Ahuizotl: She's still as rotten as ever…

Garble: Never change, DT!

-Turf and Silver Spoon enter the ring, applauding their bestie, as Bon Bon leads Lyra out of the ring-

Ahuizotl: Now that Diamond Tiara is healthy enough to wrestle, Scootaloo will, and I mean WILL get her hands on her!

Garble: That's fine. Diamond Tiara won't back down from ANYBODY! She's got the heart of a lion, and the body of a GODDESS!

-Turf and Silver each raise one of Diamond's hands, while raising their own titles high with their other hand-

Turf: Stay away from us, ScootaNOOB, if you KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

Ahuizotl: Once again, would LOVE to see that woman at my dinner table…

Garble: She's too good for the likes of YOU. ALL women are!

Ahuizotl: I'm sure you don't get no tail with that clunker of a car I see you leaving the show with every week…

Garble: I-...it's my sister's….

Ahuizotl: -Chuckles- Even worse!

-Diamond Tiara flips her hair, and snaps her fingers, signaling that it's time to blow the peasants' playhouse-

*Now trending on Twitter: #BestForBusiness, #DTxGarbleOTP, Lightning Dust, Sunset Shimmer*

-We cut backstage to Luna's office, where she is chatting with Swirlinaitis and Sunset Shimmer-

Luna: I understand we aren't on the best terms, Sunset, but I hope we can put our differences aside to make sure that the Crater Chick championship is a valued asset to the Lunacy brand.

Sunset: Eh, you're probably right. After all, Lightning Dust is a tough girl..she can fight her own battles. -crowd boos- I've got MY career to worry about, too, after all.

Swirlinaitis: Precisely! That is why we chose YOU. We knew that you'd be the one to bring RUTHLESS AGGRESSION to the EWF, and so far, you haven't failed us yet.

Sunset: And I don't plan on failing you EVER. Thank you for this opportunity.

Luna: Oh, there's no need to thank us, Sunset...we know talent when we see it, and YOU, my dear...are truly…-looks at Swirlinaitis, and says along with him- BEST...for BUSINESS.

Sunset: Heh. So is that the whole slogan for this operation?

Swirlinaitis: Yes! We're going to make t-shirts!

Sunset: Hope some minimum wage losers are currently thinking up t-shirt designs for ME, as well...the champ deserves the BEST merchandise.

Luna: Yes, of course, Sunset. Speaking of your title, tonight, there will be a number 1 contender's match to decide who will be facing YOU at our next Pay Per View….Retribution.

Sunset: Sounds good to me. I hope they are WORTHY of being in the ring with me. I need PROPER competition.

Luna: Hmmm..how about Rarity and Midnight Strike?

Swirlinaitis: Oh! I like that!

Sunset: So do I. Then again, whoever wins, WON'T like getting in the ring with ME…-chuckles-

Luna: It is official, then! Oh, one more thing...as I said, me and Mr. Swirlinaitis DO keep track of the talent here in the EWF, and one tag team on Lunacy has impressed us IMMENSELY these past few weeks….

Sunset: Who would that be?

Luna: Snips and Snails. Your...boys, should we call them?

Sunset: Yeah...yeah, that sounds about right. My ERRAND boys.

Luna: -Giggles- Ever-the-less, they are UNDEFEATED as a team. We feel that is worthy of a shot at the Combo of Carnage tag team championships.

Sunset: I would agree. They've been VERY obedient….

Luna: Of course, NOTHING is handed out here in the EWF. So, Snips and Snails will have to EARN their right to be in this title match.

Sunset: They are up for the challenge. After I "inspire" them...in my own way. Who will they be facing?

Swirlinaitis: We could think of no better opponents than their greatest rivals. Shining Armor, and your boyfriend, Flash Sentry.

Sunset: Aww! I would just LOVE to be a champion alongside my boopsy! That sounds WONDERFUL! Would you be against adding ONE more catalyst to that match, though?

Luna: Sure, we're all ears...what is i-

-The discussion is ceased by the entrance of Overdrive- -most of the crowd boos-

Swirlinaitis: Oh! Hello, Overdrive.

Overdrive: -breathing heavily- May I have a word with you…? -glancing between Luna and Swirlinaitis-

Luna: Could you excuse us for a moment, Sunset? We'll talk later.

Sunset: -turns to look at Overdrive- It would be MY pleasure….-knocks on the metal half of his chest, snickering and exiting the room. Overdrive is not phased-

Luna: What do you need, Overdrive?

Overdrive: It's a very simple request. I know I have a title match tonight….but I don't want it to go down like it did last night…

Luna: That would be a tragedy. A champion MUST be crowned! What do you propose?

Overdrive: I want Rumble….but I want those two SKANKS that flank his sides each and every week, too!

Swirlinaitis: Flitter and Cloudchaser?

Overdrive: -breaths deeply- ….YES. I want ALL of them. Those two cost me the title...let's see if they can take it from me when I'm looking at them from ACROSS THE RING.

Luna: You know what? You've got it! Tonight, the Carnage Championship WILL be on the line, when you face Rumble, Flitter, AND Cloudchaser! I just hope you know what you're getting into….

Overdrive: I hope they know what THEY'VE gotten into…-walks out of the office without another word. Luna and Swirlinaitis glance at each other-

Garble: This could either be REALLY stupid, or REALLY smart by Overdrive.

Ahuizotl: I think it's VERY smart. He now has Flitter and Cloudchaser where he can see them! It will surely be harder for them to pull a fast one on him.

Garble: I think he forgot about Bulk Biceps, though...not sure how that's possible, considering how BIG he is….

Ahuizotl: Nonetheless, that is our main event for tonight, and it is HUGE!

*I swear I won't tease you...won't tell you no lies!* -MASSIVE BOOS-

Ahuizotl: FUCK!

Garble: Must...resist...eating...TURNBUCCKKAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Madden shoves the microphone in his mouth, falling over in the ring-

-Every fan in the arena LITERALLY TURNS THEIR BACK ON TWIST FOR HER ENTIRE ENTRANCE-

Garble: Smartest people in America right here! -He and Ahuizotl do the same-

Ahuizotl: The polarizing Twist is in action NEXT.

Garble: I CAN'T EVEN SEE HER AND I STILL WANNA PUKE!

*Commercial break*

-When we come back, we see Honeycomb already in the ring, trying her best to avoid Twist's rump shake-

Garble: Isn't there some way we could be on commercial long enough for this match to end?

Ahuizotl: Unfortunately not. At least we are not alone in being punished with this every week.

Garble: Why us, though? I'm a good boy!

Ahuizotl: We are ALL too good to have to go through this…

Garble: I wouldn't wish a Twist match on my worst enemy…

Ahuizotl: Who IS your worst enemy?

Garble: Well RIGHT NOW TWIST!

Match 2: Twist vs Honeycomb

-Twist dry humps the middle turnbuckle pad-

Garble: Oh God end the SUFFERING. BRING UPON THE EQUESTRIAN HOLOCAUST. DO SOMETHING.

Ahuizotl: WE ARE MAKING HEADLINES FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!

-Honeycomb apparently shares the sorrow, but she ends it by running towards Twist. She jumps in the air, grabs the top turnbuckle with both hands, extends her feet out in front of her, and lets go at full force. The end result is both of her feet colliding with Twist's head, and sending the back of her head into the mat with authority-

Crowd: OOOHHHHH!

-Honeycomb rolls backwards after the velocity-

Garble: Haha! That was amazing!

Ahuizotl: And ABSOLUTELY worth all of the suffering before-hand!

Garble: I don't know about that...but DAMN! What a move by Honeycomb!

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: The crowd agrees, and rightfully so!

-Honeycomb grabs Twist by her arms, and pulls the rest of her body off of the turnbuckle and into the middle of the ring. She doesn't wanna touch her leg, so she substitutes by simply putting her own leg over Twist's chest-

*1….2….3!* -MASSIVE pop-

Garble: DING! DONG! THE...uhh...THING IS DEAD!

Madden: Here is your winner….HOOOONNEEYYCCOOOOMMBBB!

Ahuizotl: A nice win for Honeycomb! The German judges give her a TEN on her landing of that move, too!

Garble: Let's see it again...from EVERY angle!

*Garble's wish is the production crew's command!*

-We cut back from the replays to see Honeycomb putting a hand over her heart in relief.-

Honeycomb: Thew...glad that's over…

Crowd: THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU HONEY-COMB! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: And now RELISH in your cheers, for you, Honeycomb, are our hero of the week!

-Garble and Ahuizotl join in on the chant, as Honeycomb goes up to the top rope and throws her fists in the air triumphantly-

Ahuizotl: Tonight's the night of debuts, folks! Let's go backstage to our new interview correspondent….Silver Shill!

*Interview area*

Silver Shill: Thank you, Ahuizotl. Hello, EWF fans. I am Silver Shill. And right now, I am here with Rarity, and the newest member of the Lunacy roster...Fluttershy! Hello, gals.

Rarity: Hello, dahling. It's a pleasure to be here...and to still have all of my teeth intact. -giggles-

Fluttershy: Ummm…-cowers a bit-...h-hi….

Silver: I have questions for both of you, but first, Fluttershy. How do you feel about being here on Lunacy?

Fluttershy: -Perks up a little- Oh...I'm happy, but also a little bit sad. I'm glad, for one, that I won't have to fight Colgate. -shivers- I'm also happy that I can spend more time with great friends like Rarity, and Twilight. I don't care WHAT happened last night. Twilight IS an amazing friend. -Rarity nods- Though, I'm sad that I had to leave my other friends, like Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash behind. -lowers her head- I wish that they could've come with me….

Rarity: Awww...don't worry, dear. Me and Twilight are here to watch your back! And the 5 of us KNOW you're going to make us ALL proud of you! -Hugs Fluttershy-

Silver: -can't help but smile- Now, Rarity. Two questions for you. One, how do YOU feel about Colgate being traded to Sublime?

Rarity: Well, obviously I am OVERJOYED to have one of my best friends, Fluttershy here with me. But to be honest, I truly was looking forward to the feud-settling match between myself and Colgate. She is quite loony, but I'd be lying if I didn't say she is a SPECTACULAR athlete, and quite a wonderful opponent to have. She brought the best out of me. I look forward to watching her matches with all of the wonderful Sublime superstars. -Smiles-

Silver: And now, your comments on your upcoming match with Midnight Strike?

Rarity: Ah, yes. Looking forward to that match. Me and Midnight have both had some tough times here in the early stages of our wrestling endeavors. Tonight is going to bring forth a new path for one of us. Now, I am not a betting woman, nor do I like to count my gems before they're bedazzled, but I do in fact PLAN on winning this match. Fluttershy will be at ringside with me, and she will give me the strength I need to pull out a win, and at Retribution, she will be at ringside yet AGAIN, and she and the entire wrestling world will see ME...put that RUFFIAN Sunset Shimmer in. Her. PLACE! -crowd cheers- -Giggles- I do wish Midnight good luck, however. -Nods at Silver Shill, and walks off with Fluttershy-

Silver: Thank you for your time, girls….-looks at the camera- And that match, wrestling fans...is NEXT!

*Commercial break*

Madden: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is to determine the number 1 contender to the Crater Chick Championship at Retributiiiooon! -crowd cheers, obviously pumped for this match-

*Ehehehe….everybody come see the greatest show…* -decent cheers-

-Midnight Strike comes out with The Oddities, obviously more happy than she usually is-

Madden: Introducing FIRST! From CLOOOUUDSSSDAALLLEEE! Weighing in at 157 pounds, accompanied by THE ODDITIEEESSS! MMMIIIDNIIIGHTT STRRIIIKKEEEE!

Ahuizotl: It's wonderful to see Midnight happy for once! She's gotta be pretty happy after getting her FIRST victory last night at Proving Grounds!

Garble: And what a 24 hour period it could be if she could beat Rarity here tonight. I'm sure Sunset Shimmer will be watching this contest with all the attention she has to give!

Ahuizotl: She seems to have enough confidence to where she thinks whoever wins will be a cake-walk for her.

Garble: Despite both Midnight and Rarity not having the best records in the EWF thus far, they would both be FAR from a cake-walk for Rarity.

Ahuizotl: Umm...don't you mean Sunset?

Garble: ...MADDEN DO YOUR JOB.

*Everybody's starry eyed...and everybody glows….OH!* -many a cheer to be heard-

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! From LONNEEYYVVILLE! Weighing in at 127 POOUUNNDSSS...accompanied by FLUTTERSHYYYYYY! RAAARRRIITTTYYYYYY!

Ahuizotl: The matches between Rarity and Colgate will one day be LEGENDARY in the EWF. Those two absolutely GELLED together!

Garble: They were magic, that's for sure! In fact, so good that Rarity vs Colgate's 2nd ever clash, their Iron Woman clinic, was voted the BEST match of the month of January! You can see all of the other winners and nominees by going to !

Crowd: LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET'S GO RARITY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Ahuizotl: The crowd is FULLY behind Rarity….not surprising, considering the CLASSICS she has bestowed upon these fans.

-Rarity and Midnight meet in the middle of the ring, and shake hands- -more cheers are heard-

Garble: We could have another classic in the making….

Match 3: Rarity w/ Fluttershy vs Midnight Strike w/ The Oddities

Ahuizotl: I just noticed something...Bill Neigh is unnaturally NOT out here with his Oddity brethren.

Garble: Huh, you're right….that's odd….

Ahuizotl: I wonder where he is…

Garble: Probably teaching some kindergartner what Lysosomes do…

*6 minutes later…*

-Rarity climbs up to the top rope after levelling Midnight with a Michinoku Driver, of which she kicked out at 2-

Ahuizotl: Rarity is more of a technical wrestler, so her going up to the top rope is uncharacteristic of her…

Garble: When a title shot is on the line, you've got to go out of the norm at points.

-Rarity turns around, but before she can hit whatever she was thinking, Midnight runs up and catches her with an Enziguri, knocking Rarity for a loop and sending her butt first on the turnbuckle-

Ahuizotl: A good counter by Midnight! She too knows how important this match is.

-Midnight quickly gets on the apron, and climbs on the top rope with Rarity, clasping her hands around her abdomen-

Garble: We may see a top-rope powerbomb right here!

-Garble was correct. Midnight flips herself over Rarity, attempting to use the momentum to drive Rarity into the mat back first. Rarity, though, grabs onto the top turnbuckle at the last second, which causes Midnight to overflip herself and land right on her face-

Crowd: OHHH!

Ahuizotl: Beautiful! Rarity saw it coming!

-Rarity waits for Midnight to get up before launching herself off of the top rope-

Garble: And she's going for the Tornado DD-AAHHH! SHE CAUGHT HER! MIDNIGHT CAUGHT HER!

-Midnight, now with Rarity in the air, runs around the ring with her a few times, the crowd's "OHHH" getting louder and louder with each rotation. After 3 rotations, Midnight charges at the ropes, and LAUNCHES Rarity right on top of them, climaxing the crowd's "OHHH!"

Ahuizotl: MY GOD! WONDERFUL COUNTERS ALL AROUND!

-Rarity was able to grab the middle rope to avoid falling out of the ring, but that wasn't enough to stop her bouncing on the top rope like a quick moving wave in the middle of an ocean-

Garble: Rarity hangs on...but DAMN it must hurt on that top rope! The FORCE that Midnight chucked her with!

Ahuizotl: But she's not done yet!

-Midnight bounces off the ropes, and jumps in MID-AIR, catching Rarity with a reverse Fameasser on the way down, successfully knocking her off of the top rope. The crowd shows their approval by going nuts-

Ahuizotl: What a sequence of moves! The powerbomb counter by Rarity, the Tornado DDT counter by Midnight, and then the TOTAL ANNIHILATION of Rarity! This is all for a shot at the Crater Chick Championship!

Garble: And this match hasn't even been going for more than 8 minutes!

-Midnight turns Rarity over, and hooks her leg-

*1…..2…-KICKOUT- -the crowd furiously claps at the events that have just taken place, as Midnight mentally curses-

Ahuizotl: It's not over yet! Not by a LONG shot!

*7 minutes later…*

-Midnight goes for The Clock Strikes, but Rarity escapes and attempts to hit Midnight with a Northern Lights Suplex. When she vaults Midnight over her head, however, Midnight escapes Rarity's clutches, and on the way down, grabs her neck and hits a DEVASTATING neckbreaker on Rarity! Rarity lands RIGHT ON TOP OF HER HEAD, and winds up flopping on her belly. Once again, the crowd is erupting in cheers-

Garble: You've GOT TO BE KIDDING MEEEEEEE!

Ahuizotl: SPECTACULAR. Did I say that before? I think I may have...I can't help it! I'm at a loss for words! These two just keep giving each other all they've GOT!

-The crowd erupts in applause once again and Midnight goes for ANOTHER cover-

*1…..2….-KICK OUT AT 2 AND A HALF! The crowd can't believe it!-

Garble: What else can they do….?

Ahuizotl: They're gonna FIGHT until one of them CAN'T kick out! And whoever gets that pin, will damn well DESERVE IT!

*6 MORE minutes later…*

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Drenched in sweat, riddled with frustration, Midnight Strike goes up to the top rope, her sights TRULY set on VICTORY-

Ahuizotl: If Midnight misses this move, I think it's over! It HAS got to be ALL or NOTHING for Midnight Strike!

Garble: Yup! She's one move away from earning the title shot! I can FEEL it!

-Midnight dives off the top rope, looking to hit the Flying Headbutt. At the last second, however, Rarity lifts her boot in the air, and Midnight's face cannot avoid smashing into it, as the crowd gives yet another unanimous "OHHH!"-

Garble: That's going to do it! Midnight won't recover from that counter by Rarity! There's NO WAY!

-Rarity stirs to her feet, and picks Midnight up, looking for the finishing blow-

*SEQUIN SPECIAL!*

Ahuizotl: The Sequin Special! Garble, you are CORRECT! Rarity, into the cover- -the crowd is on their FEET as they count along-

*1….2….3!* -an enormous pop-

Garble: She did it! She did it! Rarity is going to Retribution!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….and the Number 1 Contender..for the Crater Chick CHAMPIONSHIIIPP...Raarriitttyyy!

Ahuizotl: What a PHYSICAL, GRUELING, yet MASTERFUL match wrestled by these two SUPERB athletes! We said whoever got that pin DESERVED it, and after that SPELL-BINDING performance….Rarity has EARNED IT. If Sunset Shimmer wasn't watching before...she is NOW.

Garble: She better be, because her first title defense, may turn out to be her toughest one EVER.

-Fluttershy enters the ring, and excitedly hugs Rarity-

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, Rarity! YOU WON!

Rarity: I told you, dahling….just your presence at ringside would give me the strength I needed….thank you…

Ahuizotl: Enjoy the victory, Rarity and Fluttershy….for it only gets tougher from here!

Garble: Will she EVER have a bad match?

Ahuizotl: In front of THIS crowd? Never.

-The crowd continues to applaud Rarity's stellar performance, as Fluttershy and Rarity continue to celebrate. Even The Oddities show their respect outside the ring.-

*Commercial break*

-Back from commercial break, we see Bill Neigh in the ring wearing a nice suit as a generic rock track plays in the background. Behind him is an old school chalkboard, and in front of him is a desk. An apple sits on it-

Ahuizotl: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back here on Monday Night Lunacy, and we are being joined in the ring by...Bill Neigh?

Garble: I guess he IS here, after all. Looks like he's going back to his roots.

Ahuizotl: For those who couldn't tell, Bill is a former college professor. He was SUPPOSED to be out here earlier with The Oddities in support of Midnight Strike.

-Bill straightens his tie, and grabs the microphone off of his desk-

Bill: Hello, my students….it is I, William Nyeker, YOUR teacher….-he picks up a piece of chalk and underlines his name on the chalkboard, which was written on there beforehand-

Ahuizotl: ...Nyeker?

Garble: At least now his name doesn't sound like a horse!

Bill: And in MY classroom...it's not how HARD you work...it's how SMART -points at his head- you work...and unfortunately for all of you, you do not seem very smart….-crowd begins to boo-

Ahuizotl: What a sudden change in personality….

Garble: Yeah. Who the hell pissed on his urinal cake?

Bill: -picks up a yardstick from the chalkboard and slams it on his desk- QUIET, CLASS! -the crowd boos even more- Need I remind you of rule NUMERO UNO? That's Spanish for ONE, by the way….in Mr. Nyeker's class room...you do not SPEAK...unless I CALL on you! I'm going to have to assign you all detentions if you continue with your nonsensical interruptions….-more boos-...thank you.

Ahuizotl: They're still booing…

Garble: Shhh. The teacher's talking!

Bill: You are all here today to RE-learn, a VERY important lesson….SCHOOL...is COOL. -boos- Without proper education, you all would CEASE...to FUNCTION. By the looks on your faces, most of you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about...that's fine, that's fine...I anticipated that. We will be doing this once a week. There will be NO Spring Break, and NO 3 month Summer vacation! -massive boos- My classroom NEVER lets out! You NEVER stop learning! -Puts his hands up- I know that right now...you are all too ignorant to fully grasp...the opportunity that I have bestowed upon you; but when all is said and done...you will THANK me. For I...am your ONLY HOPE..the only BEACON OF LIGHT, that is going to reduce you people from SLOBBERING...ILLITERATE….BUFFOONS. -more boos-...to at least SEMI-employable sapiens, with a probability of a whopping SIXTY PERCENT, to lead a susceptible life... -smirks- THAT is my goal, as your superior. It may take a while...but NO STUDENT...has EVER failed MY CLASSROOM.

Ahuizotl: This is damn near UNBEARABLE.

Garble: -gasp- That was a 4 syllable word, 'Zotl! -claps giddily- You're already learning!

Ahuizotl: Ugh...when is recess?

Bill: Today's lesson...is to FOLLOW your DREAMS. I left the circus, so I could come back here, and make functionally cerebral hominids...out of all of you. THAT's MY dream.

Ahuizotl: Of course Bill referring to The Oddities when he says "circus"...did they even know about this?

Bill: And I can only HOPE, that you all will heed my words, open your aurises, pick up your pencils, and get ready for a pop qui-

-Bill is interrupted by the sudden blasting of the "Hallelujah" chorus, except it has been remixed to sound like a dance song-

Garble: Now what is happening?!

Ahuizotl: It seems like class is being postponed for right now…

-A man in a blue robe with a white collar emerges on the stage, enveloped in a spotlight. He's got a pretty decent beard, and soon it is revealed that he is being accompanied to the ring by two beautiful woman, wearing some pretty skimpy mini-dresses. He begins to walk to the ring with them with a sophisticated heir to himself-

Ahuizotl: Whoever this man is, I certainly hope he isn't as boring as Mr. Nyeker…

Garble: I must say, it is quite disrespectful to be interrupting Mr. Nyeker's class! However, at least this dude LOOKS classy. And I can appreciate the arm candy he's got going on.

Ahuizotl: You don't know ANYTHING about being CLASSY!

Garble: That's why I'm here, you nimrod! Mr. Nyeker is going to teach me the error of my ways!

Ahuizotl: Oh brother…

-The mystique individual and his women have now entering the ring. Bill looks perplexed as he looks to speak again-

Nyeker: Well, well, well...it seems we have a few NEW students in our classroom….tell me...what are your names?

-One of the ladies has grabbed a mic, and proceeds to hand it to the bearded fellow-

?: My name...is Damien Sandow...and I am the Intellectual Savior...of DEM ASSES! -Sandow points to the rears of his female associates, as they turn around and show them off. Sandow slaps one of them, causing the girl to grab at it and laugh-

Garble: HOW UNCOUTH!

Ahuizotl: Nyeker looks like he's going to throw up….

Nyeker: I must say it is GREAT to have a few more….stars, not brightly shining ones, but stars nonetheless...to add to my Nebula. However, young man...and...your petite patrons….there are a few RULES in MY classroom that you MUST abide by if we are to coincide with one another….

Sandow: Well then, William….

Nyeker: That's MR. NYEKER to you…

Sandow: -inches in closer to his face-...WILLIAM. We aren't going to get along very well, because….I don't do well with..rules.

Nyeker: You're going to HAVE to if you want to be a part of MY classroom. RULE 1: You DON'T interrupt your teacher when he is talking -boos continue- RULE 2: Your behavior on your...fellow classmates -he gestures at the females- is both obscene and uncivilized…RULE 3: We have a strict dress code, and your wiffman are CLEARLY violating it!

Sandow: Oh, that's okay! They ain't the only ones!

Nyeker: What are you talking abou-

-Nyeker cannot finish his sentence, as Sandow proceeds to disrobe. Under his robe, he is wearing crimson red pants, and a black vest that isn't zipped or buttoned up in the slightest. An overly hairy chest is visible beneath the vest, and many golden chains and medallions lay atop of his torso forest. The crowd cheers at this reveal, and cheers even more when Sandow executes an expertly done cartwheel-

Garble: Oh my God! SOMEONE BUY THAT MAN A RAZOR!

Nyeker: -losing his mind- This...THIS IS ABSURD! You have in one SIMULTANEOUS SWOOP, defiled EVERY RULE OF THIS CLASSROOM!

Sandow: -shaking his hand- You call them rules, I call them restrictions. William, I didn't come out here to join your class roster...I came out here to help all these people DROP OUT. -massive cheers-

Garble: NO! YOU MONSTER! EDUCATION IS A VIRTUE!

Sandow: Let me teach YOU a few things...learning is supposed to be FUN! -cheers-

Nyeker: Learning is HARD WORK! There's no time to lollygag when you so much to ABSORB!

Sandow: You are the PRIME EXAMPLE of why kids don't want to go to school. It's not that they CAN'T follow rules...it's that they SHOULDN'T have to follow the rules when their educators are like YOU.

Ahuizotl: Slicing the blade right through!

Sandow: You tell these people to PAY ATTENTION….how the hell can anybody pay attention to their teacher when they're so BORING? -cheers-

Crowd: MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* MELA-TO-NIN! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Someone give Damien Sandow an F! He's about to Flunk Mr. Nyeker's class, and that won't get him anywhere in life!

Sandow: William...you are the DENIZEN...of DULL. -cheers- As long as I'm around….nobody is going to be your TEACHER'S PE-

-Nyeker responds by bashing Sandow in the head with his mic-

Ahuizotl: Oh! What a cheap shot!

-Nyeker puts the boots to Sandow as he's on the ground. Sandow is soon able to get enough of an opening to get on his knees and shoves Nyeker. Nyeker bounces off the ropes and LEVELS Sandow with the Knee Trembler on the rebound, causing him to fall to the mat, unconscious.-

Ahuizotl: Didn't Nyeker hear about the rule where you DON'T put your hands on your students?!

Garble: This lowlife Sandow isn't a student! He's "too cool for school", and that's not the right attitude to have!

-Nyeker grabs Sandow by the hair, and launches him from across his desk and into his chalkboard. Sandow crashes head on into it, as the crowd "OHH's" in response.-

Garble: I know somebody who's NOT getting a gold star this week…

Ahuizotl: This is ridiculous!

-Nyeker reaches in the drawer of his desk, and pulls out a grading stamp-

Ahuizotl: Oh no...what's he going to do with that?

Garble: Ahaha! I have a good idea! Mr. Nyeker is about to give his first pop quiz a grade!

-Nyeker presses the "F" into the ink, and then STAMPS Sandow's head-

Garble: Yes! Sandow got an F! Guess he should've studied…..

Ahuizotl: Nyeker's the one who should be getting an F..for FRAUD! Teachers don't DO THIS!

Garble: I guarantee this is what they WANT to do to dishonorable students, they just don't have the guts!

Nyeker: -looking out into the crowd- CLASS DISMIIIISSED! -crowd boos heavily, as Nyker goes over to the girls. He takes a hand, and places it next to their ankle, imagining the length of their dresses that would win his approval- Skirts should be THAT long in MY CLASSROOM! WORK ON IT! -He exits the ring after yelling-

Ahuizotl: Bill Nyeker is a poor excuse for an educator! Where did he get his degree?!

Garble: At the school of Hard Knocks, 'Zotl! Mr. Nyeker is HANDS ON. Not many teachers are like that these days. He's old school. And I LOVE it!

Ahuizotl: He should have his teaching license SUSPENDED! That was COMPLETELY uncalled for!

Garble: Damien Sandow must've reminded him of his time at the Circus….-shivers-...poor Mr. Nyeker! Let him relive his greatest days, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: Oh you are such a TEACHER'S PET! Why don't you give Mr. Nyeker an oral exam?!

-Mr. Nyeker slowly backpedals up the stage, as Sandow's girls check on him. Mr. Nyeker takes a bite out of his apple after another hard day of installing knowledge into the brains of his students-

Garble: Uhhh...no.

*Commercial break*

Ahuizotl: We are all set for our next match, ladies and gentlemen. We are being joined for it, though, by the very first Combo of Carnage champions...Gustave Le Grand, Fancy Pants..EGO. Welcome, men.

Garble: And let's not forget about the LOVELY Fleur de Lis

-Fleur waves at Garble, and then lays across the announce table-

Ahuizotl: -clears his throat- W-well I guess I can't forget about her if she's right here in front of me the whole time…

Fancy Pants: Oh, pay no mind to her, fellows. It is natural for Lady Fleur to showcase her beauty everywhere she goes!

Garble: Oh, we don't mind, Fancy, but we'll try our best to call the action despite her BLINDING beauty. -he rubs his chin in astonishment-

Gustave Le Grand: Let uz find zot who vill be a stepping stone on EGO's quest to..-breathes deep-...IMMORTALITY...hur hur.

*REDACTED THEME* -quite a few boos-

Madden: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Where the winners of the match, will move on to face EGO at Retributiiioon...for the Combo of Carrrnaaaggeeee...championSHIIIIPPSSSS! Introducing first, at a combined weight...of 402 POOOOUNDSSS...Snips, and SNAAAIILSSSS...SLIIIIMMEE!

Garble: How do you feel about Snips and Snails, champs? They are UNDEFEATED in tag team action.

Fancy Pants: Is that really such a big fuss? EGO also happens to be undefeated...and the more we win, the bigger EGO gets. Literally AND figuratively.

Gustave: On ze subject of…-spits-...SLIME...zat pretty much iz how ve vould describe zem. Zey are nothing but sniveling veasels, and EGO vill not lose to the likes of zem! Glorified lapdogs…

*The sky turns to...a different shade of blue…* -despite their recent problems The BroMans are still cheered by many, though they come out looking not pleased with each other in the slightest-

Madden: Aaaand THEIR OPPONENTS! At a combined weight...of 421 POOOUNDSSS..Shining Armor...and Flash SENTRRRYYY...THHEEE BROOOMAANNSS!

Crowd: BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS! BRO-MANS!

Ahuizotl: These two have been through SO MUCH in the past month, it's a wonder that they're still a team!

Garble: One more loss could be the final blow in this tandem, 'Zotl. This is a MUST WIN situation for the BroMans. What do you guys think? -turns to the champions-

Fancy: Me and Master Le Grand beat these curs on the first night. If they win, we will have no problem doing it again.

Ahuizotl: I'd like to point out that Fleur DID help you win that match...she also helped you win the tag team titles last night.

Gustave: Vut difference does zat make?! Fleur De Lis iz MORE zan a pretty face!

Fancy: Do you really think we became such IMPORTANT people with hardwork and determination? We aren't like those dreaded apples...we aren't afraid to take as many shortcuts as we see fit.

Garble: Speaking of, which Sublime team do you think will qualify for your title match at Retribution?

Fancy: -sighs- Once again….that doesn't matter. Though, we wouldn't mind trading blows with fellow Elitists Master Blueblood and Master Hoity Toity. We would double team the peasants, and then find out who TRULY is the Cream of the Crop.

Garble: Haha! It's funny because that's the name of your finisher!

Fancy: -he and Gustave stare at Garble- We do not see the humor in that…

Garble: -frowns- Oh...my apologies…

*And now...it's all over now…* -Crowd Boos II: The Booening-

Ahuizotl: Wait just a minute...Sunset Shimmer?

-Sunset Shimmer comes out in a referee shirt, looking high and mighty-

Madden: And introducing..your referee for this bout...SUNSEEETTT...SHIIMMEERR!

Garble: What a wonderful surprise! The Crater Chick champion is going to officiate this VERY important match!

Ahuizotl: This must've been the "catalyst" she was talking to general manager Luna about….I don't like this.

Garble: Ah, don't you worry, 'Zotl! I'm sure she'll be as impartial as a German in a Sauerkraut eating contest!

Fancy: Also not funny.

Garble: -lightly bangs his fist on the announce table- Dammit…

Match 4: The BroMans vs SLIME (Special Referee: Sunset Shimmer)

-Immediately after the bell rings, Sunset gestures to her boyfriend-

Sunset: Flash! Lay down on the mat!

Flash: -Eyebrows lower- S-sunset, please…..we've got to try to win this match!

Ahuizotl: This woman CANNOT be serious!

Garble: Not surprisingly, she most definitely is...DEAD serious.

Sunset: I said LAY DOWN ON THE MAT! I am the referee of not only this match, but your LIFE!

-Flash desperately looks back at Shining Armor, who is basically done with life at this point-

Ahuizotl: Sunset Shimmer WANTS to tear this group apart! There is no other explanation for this!

Garble: Mind games. It's downright evil, but what else would you expect?

Gustave: Very respectable.

-Flash sits down on his rear with his hands over his head as Sunset continues to point at the mat. Shining Armor jumps off the apron, and begins to walk backstage. Flash looks on for a minute, before finally, hopeless collapsing against the mat. Snails scurries over his body, as Sunset counts-

Sunset: 1...2….3! -The bell rings, as the crowd cannot stop booing-

Ahuizotl: Unbelievable…..

Madden: Here are your winners...Snips and Snails...SLIME…

-Shining Armor never looks back as he exits through the stage curtain-

-Sunset Shimmer raises the hands of Snips and Snails, and mocks sadness as Flash continues to lay still on the mat-

Ahuizotl: I never cease to be disgusted when Sunset Shimmer is out here….

Garble: I'll admit that this is pretty scummy. Why doesn't she want her man to succeed?

Ahuizotl: Oh I've a few ideas! For one, she's a massive cu-

Fancy: As we said, we can very much get behind Sunset Shimmer and her go-getting attitude. She is willing to do anything it takes to get her men to the top.

Ahuizotl: But her MAN is Flash Sentry! She is tearing his career apart! Piece by piece, week after week!

Gustave: Ve gave our opinions and now ve have better places to be. Zank you. -Gustave and Fancy take off their headphones and place them on the table. Fleur stops posing and follows Fancy when he motions to her-

Ahuizotl: Why is everybody on this show's opinions so SLANTED?! Don't they see the problem with this?!

Garble: If you didn't expect me to not then you're wrong, 'Zotl. I do think this is wrong….but if Flash wants to make it in this business, he needs to cut bait.

Ahuizotl: And then what?! Get attacked by those cheating goons in the ring?! Sunset makes his life HELL AS they're a couple...what would she do if he just up and left?!

Garble: A fine point. I'd rather not think about that. Either way, Snips and Snails are going to be in the Combo of Carnage title match at Retribution.

Ahuizotl: And The BroMans may as well be dead! Thanks to that WITCH, Sunset Shimmer! When will her evil deeds just STOP?!

Garble: When she has this entire company in the palm of her hand.

-Sunset hugs a dejected Flash tightly-

Sunset: Sorry it had to be this way, baby...I hope you understand…-kisses his cheek-

Flash: A-...absolutely, Sunny...you know best….

*Commercial break*

*Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky…* -massive pop-

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen..please welcome….SCOOOTAAALOOOO!

Garble: Last night at Proving Grounds, Scootaloo was left to the WOLVES...the wolves being Turf and Silver Spoon. Her partner, Berry Punch, was NOWHERE to be found!

Ahuizotl: It's no secret that Berry Punch has her own demons. But Scootaloo NEEDED her, and wound up beaten, deflated, and severely DISAPPOINTED.

Garble: That's the kind of crap that makes me not want to trust anyone….

-Scootaloo grabs a mic, and stops in the middle of the ring, barely smiling at her legions of fans-

Crowd: SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO!

Ahuizotl: She will ALWAYS be cherished by the fans, though. That much we can count on.

Scootaloo: I thank you guys for trying to make me feel better, but to be honest, I am just NOT in the right state of mind for this….I hope I can keep my composure for this….Berry Punch..please come out here….

*GLASS SHATTERS* -mild cheers-

Garble: There's the damn drunk!

Ahuizotl: Don't be so ruthless! I'm sure Berry had her reasons for not being at Scootaloo's side last night…

-Berry comes out with a beer bottle in hand. She begins solemnly walking down to the ring-

Garble: Look at her! She's a mess! She can't even leave her pacifier backstage!

Ahuizotl: Neither could you with your insults! Just be quiet for a moment!

-Berry gets in the ring. She doesn't even bother doing her 4 Turnbuckle pose. She simply grabs a mic and stands in front of Scootaloo-

Scootaloo: Thanks for coming out here, Berry...I just wanted to clear the a-

Berry: I already know exactly what you're gonna say…..I failed you…..

Scootaloo: I wasn't going to say that, Berry. I-

Berry: No, no, no, no….don't give me that. I know what I did….I said I was gonna watch your back, and I didn't fulfill my promise. I….I let ya down, Scootaloo…

Scootaloo: Noooo, Berry….please don't say that. I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame YOU for what happened….

Berry: What? Who in the hell else cost us the titles, then?!

Scootaloo: Take ONE guess…-looks at her hand, and the bottle it possesses. Berry also looks-

Berry: -sighs-...You're right….

Scootaloo: -puts a hand on Berry's shoulder-...What happened?

Berry: Basically...I was trying to...prepare for the match...the only way I know how...I usually..just chug 2. After that, though, the need for MORE just...took over…

Scootaloo: How many more did you drink?

Berry: Ugh….damn, I have no clue...but it was enough to knock me out. And because of that, I missed the title match…I fucked up so bad….

Scootaloo: I hope you know that I'm NOT mad at you….not in the SLIGHTEST…

Berry: You SHOULD be, though…

Scootaloo: Well, now I actually am, because this isn't YOU, Berry! I was expecting you to come out here and kick my ass just for calling you out!

Berry: I admit my mistakes, Scoots...there wouldn't be no reason for me to do that…I just want to make things right…

Scootaloo: You want to make things right? -Berry nods- Then you've got to PROMISE me that the next time we get the chance, we're BOTH going to kick those priss-buckets' ASSES, and win the Chick Combo titles! -the crowd cheers-

Berry: -looks out at the crowd-...Ohhhh HEEELLL..YYYEEAAHH! -insane amount of cheers follow-

Ahuizotl: They're still on the same track!

-Scootaloo and Berry high five-

Garble: Aren't reunions so sweet? Gag…

Scootaloo: Now that YOU'RE looking out for ME...I'm going to return the favor, and look out for YOU…..-Scootaloo gently grabs the bottle out of Berry's hand, and sits it in the corner behind her. Berry grits her teeth at this action, but ultimately learns to accept it-

Scootaloo: I'm not going to try to change who you are, Berry...because I LIKE the way you are. You're "marble cold", as you say. You don't care what anybody thinks as long as they last more than 10 seconds! I'm glad to have you as a partner.

Berry: ...Hell, I'm glad, too, you little firecracker. -pats her head- Alcohol fueled or not...I can still kick ANYBODY'S ASS...ON. THIS. ROSTER! -massive cheers-

Ahuizotl: And I believe her!

Garble: You would. She's been knocked out in the ring more times than she's actually fought.

Ahuizotl: Well, her focus is on the tag team titles now, so you can put that to sleep.

-As Scootaloo and Berry shake hands, they are interrupted by Diamond Tiara's theme song. A chorus of boos then follow, as The Mean Girls appear on stage. Berry walks behind Scootaloo as the three vindictive vixens make their way to the ring-

Garble: And here I figured we had our fair share of the Mean Girls for one night! I was gladly mistaken!

Ahuizotl: It does make sense. They must feel threatened by the fact that Scootaloo and Berry Punch are on the same page, and have their sights set on their titles.

-Diamond Tiara gets in the ring, followed by Silver and Turf as Berry returns by Scootaloo's side-

Diamond: Aww...isn't this so sweet? The Misfits are back together! -her and the other bitches laugh as the crowd continues to boo- I'm not surprised in the least. You two are SO perfect for each other! No wonder you made up so easily!

Silver: Yeah, I mean, REALLY….who would've thought that Scootaloo would be so ALONE that she would settle for the bottom of the barrel?

Scootaloo: Bottom of the Barrel or not, when we take those titles from you guys, we're going to be on the top of the WORLD! -cheers-

Diamond: ...Cute. Your childish statements won't do you any good in the long run. You're too weak, Scootaloo. Even with your friends you were weak, but at least you were weak TOGETHER. Now you have NOBODY. Even if you DO win a title with this...pee-on, you will still have NOTHING.

Scootaloo: You're WRONG, Diamond Tiara. I'll have a title, for one. My friends will be proud of me, whether they are with me here or not. Lastly, EVERYBODY will be thanking me...because I'll be the one to SHUT. YOU. UP! -massive cheers-

Ahuizotl: You tell her, girl!

Garble: Diamond's heard this all before. Don't talk crap until you get the job done.

Crowd: SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO! SCOOT-A-LOO!

Diamond: -Scoffs, and looks at Berry- Why haven't you said anything? You usually got a big mouth! What? Finally realize that Scootaloo is a useless pile of sh-

-Berry responds by spitting beer in the face of Diamond Tiara. The crowd erupts in joy as Diamond falls to the mat, kicking and screaming as the Ale pours into her eyelids.-

Garble: NO! HOW REPULSIVE!

Ahuizotl: And everything Diamond has put Scootaloo through WASN'T repulsive?

Garble: Diamond didn't swish and swash a beverage in her mouth for 3 minutes straight and then shoot it out at her full blast! Diamond's underaged! Alcohol shouldn't be anywhere NEAR her perfect figure!

-Diamond rolls out to the floor, Turf and Silver Spoon frantically leave the ring to aid her-

Crowd: BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! BERRY PUNCH! -Berry leans over the ropes and flips off the 3 antagonists as the crowd continues to chant her name. Turf picks up the mic-

Turf: FUCK YOU, BERRY PRICK! YOU SPIT ALCOHOL? WELL I SPIT VENOM, BITCH! YOU AND CHICKENSHIT WANT A TITLE SHOT? WELL BEAT ME FIRST! -Turf slams the mic and runs into the ring, snarling-

Ahuizotl: Looks like we're going to have an impromptu match..Turf vs Berry Punch, for a shot at the Chick Combo titles!

Garble: FUCK HER UP, TURF! DIAMOND IS COUNTING ON YOU!

Match 5: Berry Punch w/ Scootaloo vs Turf w/ Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara

*5 minutes later…*

-Berry Punch goes for The Bar Tab, but Turf pushes her out of the way exits the ring just as medical staff and Silver Spoon are escorting Diamond Tiara backstage-

Turf: I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT! TAKE YOUR STUPID TITLE MATCH! WE'VE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE AT SOME POINT ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL BE BITCHES WE ALREADY RAPED! -Turf begins walking up the stage as the crowd boos-

Ahuizotl: Turf is taking her ball and she's going home…

Garble: Diamond DESERVES to have her friend by her side during this whole ordeal! Turf is such a WONDERFUL friend!

Crowd: FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF! FUCK YOU, TURF!

Turf: -extending her first in the air and then touching her forearm with her other hand- LICK MY PUSSY! Oh wait...that's right….FAGGOTS NEVER GET CLOSE TO THERE! HAHAHAHAHA!

-The referee counts to 10 as Turf exits the stage-

Ahuizotl: Turf has been counted out. Berry Punch and Apple Bloom get another shot at the titles!

Garble: How noble of Turf….

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….BEERRRYYY...PUUUNNCCHH!

Garble: Berry Punch pretty much cheated, in retrospect.

Ahuizotl: How?!

Garble: There was no way Turf could've concentrated on this match with her bestie being tortured by the satanic marketing juggernaut known as Malt liquor! It was over from the start!

Ahuizotl: -As Scootaloo raises Berry's hand- Keeeep making excuses for them, go ahead. What's your excuse going to be when they lose the titles? The sun was in their eyes?

Garble: I was going to say their boots were untied, but you just keep doing my job for me, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: -sigh- It's a happy new beginning for the tag team of Scootaloo and Berry Punch. And the best possible ending scenario is them winning the Chick Combo titles! Good luck, girls!

-We cut backstage to see a split-screened shot of Overdrive, and Rumble and the Roses walking side by side-

Garble: Speaking of titles, our main event is a handicap, where the Carnage Championship will be ON the line. The odds are stacked against Overdrive, but he seems strong enough to lift them ALL above his head….

Ahuizotl: We will find out if Overdrive can RISE to the occasion, and become the first EVER Carnage Champion...NEXT!

*Commercial break*

Madden: The following HANDICAP match...is scheduled for ONE FAAALL! And is to determine the CAARRNNAAGGEE...CHAAMMMPPIIOONN! -loud cheers-

-Rumble's music hits, and even more cheers can be heard-

Garble: Here we go! It's title time!

Madden: Introducing first….accompanied to the ring….by BULK...BICEEPPSSS! The team of Flitter...Cloudchaserrrr...aaanddd RRRUUMMBBLLEE! -lots of cheers-

Garble: I am pleased to say that this week, Rumble's coat is made from REAL Alligator!

Ahuizotl: If he wins the title tonight, he'll have more to brag about than just the material of his coat!

Garble: I'm pulling for him, man! It could be THAT much easier with Flitter and Cloudchaser in his corner, and we CAN'T forget about Bulk Biceps!

Ahuizotl: I believe Overdrive DID. Maybe he should've thought this out a bit more...how EMBARRASSED would a big guy like him be if he were to be pinned by itty bitty Flitter or Cloudchaser?

Garble: He very well may tear this arena apart! I'm using you as a shield if it comes to that, 'Zotl!

*All my life I've been searching for something….* -mostly boos-

Madden: And….HIISS opponent! From the STEEEELL CITTTYY...weighing in at 253 POOOUUNNDDSS...OVEERRRDDRRIIVVEEEE!

-Overdrive rushes the ring, picking Rumble up by his abdomen and forces him into the corner, hitting him with an array of shoulder strikes-

Ahuizotl: And here we go! It's on just like that!

Main Event: Carnage Championship: Overdrive vs Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser

*11 minutes later*

-Overdrive goes up to the top rope after levelling Rumble with a running powerslam. Flitter jumps off of the ring apron and runs to the other side, as Cloudchaser blows the referee a kiss, getting his attention in the process-

Ahuizotl: Up until now, Overdrive has been able to isolate Flitter and Cloudchaser, but you had to figure that at SOME POINT, they would dig their well-manicured claws into this match…

Garble: The referee is clearly being wooed by Cloudchaser. I wonder if they put on some kind of special zebra musk before each match that involves women…

-Overdrive is yelling at the referee to pay attention, when all of a sudden Flitter jumps back up on the apron next to him and clobbers him with Rumble's phone.-

Crowd: OHHHH!

Garble: Holy!...JEEZ! Rumble's phone has been SHATTERED by Overdrive's cranium!

Ahuizotl: That's technically the second phone of Rumble's that Overdrive has broken in the past week!

-Flitter clears the evidence, that being the broken parts of the phone off of the mat just as the referee turns around. Rumble is back on his feet, and grabs the neck of Overdrive, who was barely hanging on the turnbuckle after being hit with the phone-

Garble: Take advantage, Rumble! You can buy all the phones you want!

-Rumble plants Overdrive with a top rope DDT. He then uses all of his might and leftover strength to move Overdrive onto his back-

Garble: THE COVER!

*1…...2…..3! -the crowd becomes unglued as Rumble lets out a scream of victory-

Ahuizotl: He did it! By hook or crook, Rumble is the Carnage Champion!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER…..and the NEEEEEEEEWWWWW...CAARRNAAGGEEE CHAAAMMPPIOONN….RRRRRUUMMBBLLLEEEEE!

-Flitter and Cloudchaser enter the ring, falling into Rumble's arms, peppering Rumble with kiss after kiss, though Cloudchaser's involve a bit more tongue-

Garble: I...am SO HAPPY! Rumble! You made me proud, little man!

Ahuizotl: I can't really complain. In a twist of irony, this WAS Overdrive's fault. Surely he KNEW this was going to happen!

Garble: It doesn't matter HOW it happened...all that matters is that Rumble..is the FIRST Carnage Champion!

-Bulk Biceps lifts Rumble, who is now proudly holding the Carnage title in both his hands, into the air-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: He SURE is! And that title is going to look GORGEOUS around the waist of it's first holder….RUMBLE! Congratulations!

-Rumble realizes that he can't take selfies because his phone is dismantled, so he literally steals one out of the crowd and snaps at least 100. Of course, the fan was glad to let him borrow it-

Garble: Ahaha! Classic!

*Commercial*

Ahuizotl: This just in, ladies and gentlemen...we learned during the commercial break that NEXT WEEK, Silver Spoon and Turf WILL defend their Chick Combo championships...against Berry Punch and Scootaloo!

Garble: Hopefully Diamond Tiara still has her 20/20 vision by then! I might just die if she was injured again! It will be a FLUKE if those ingrates, Berry and Scootaloo win!

Ahuizotl: I hope they DO win, just so people like YOU will shut the hell up.

*A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head…* -the boos in the arena are nearly unanimous, save for a the children, but they are pretty much drowned out-

Garble: Uh ho ho hoooo! Listen to that reaction….

Ahuizotl: After what happened last night, this was BOUND to be the case…

Madden: Please welcome...the NEEWWWW...Women's...Eternal...World CHAAMMMPPIOOONN...TWWWIILLLIIGGHHTT...SPPAARRKLLLEEE!

-Twilight walks to the ring with a crestfallen look on her face. She clearly isn't doing well in this hostile environment. She does find ONE lone fan in the front row that wants to slap her hand. When she goes up to meet this fan, she is blindsided by the fan itself-

Garble: WHOA! Our champion is being attacked! SECURITY!

-The crowd totally erupts in cheers as the gray-hooded fan reveals herself as…-

Ahuizotl: It's LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST WAS HERE ALL ALONG!

-Dust jumps over the barricade, knocking Spike away from his sister, and pounding away at Twilight with fist after fist-

Crowd: LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST! LIGHTNING DUST!

Garble: This is CRAZY! Twilight shouldn't have come out here!

-Lightning throws Twilight into the steel steps, the sheer impact helping Twilight turn the steps over-

Ahuizotl: She's a woman possessed! She was screwed out of the Eternal Women's championship, and she's going to send a message to everybody involved!

-Lightning continues to kick the crap out of Twilight all the way to the front of the announce table. Lightning takes off the cover of it and SLAMS it on top of Twilight's sternum. She does the same for the monitors-

Garble: Luna better get out here and save her top star before some SERIOUS damage is DONE!

-Spike tries to intervene, but Lightning responds by shoving him back on the floor. Spike doesn't dare take another step. Lightning picks up Twilight's title, and takes a long look at it, and exudes a deep breath, before turning to Twilight and preparing it for it's proper use-

Lightning: YOU WANT THIS TITLE SO BAD?! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! RIGHT UPSIDE YOUR BOTH OF YOUR TWO FACES! -crowd cheers extremely loud-

Crowd: FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP!

Ahuizotl: Don't turn around, Twilight! You're not going to like the view!

-Before Lightning can return the Eternal Women's championship to its rightful owner, in a last ditch effort, security tackle Lightning to the ground, much to the dismay of the fans-

Ahuizotl: Hey! Be gentle with her!

Garble: Why should they?! She wasn't being gentle with Twilight!

Ahuizotl: SHE'S A WOMAN! Also, she has a SCORE to settle with Twilight! So let her settle it!

-Security quickly escort Lightning Dust up the ramp to where Luna is waiting-

Lightning: -cackles- I ruined your little pet project's title ceremony! And I'll keep doing it EVERY week until I get another shot at my title!

Luna: Get here OUT OF MY BUILDING! She's a LUNATIC!

Lightning: Bullshit! I'm not a supporter of yours! By the time I'm done with Sparkle, this show won't even have the support of ONE LEG!

Luna: This is MY SHOW! And as long as I have a say, you won't be anywhere NEAR I-

-Luna's speech is interrupted as Lightning Dust spits in her face. The crowd is going absolutely bananas as the team of security removes Lightning from the building. Luna can only stand there with spit running down her cheek, as the show goes off the air with the crowd chanting "LIGHTNING DUST!"-

?: Eh...you wanna see something….REALLY scary?

-Following immediately thereafter, we hear the sound of locusts chirping as we hear the voice of a woman wearing a snakeskin fedora. The camera is close up on her, though she isn't looking at it. It's like she is talking to someone else-

-We then see zooming images of a voodoo doll, another woman wearing a red flannel jacket up close, the woman with the fedora stretching her arms as the flannel woman looks at a tree in the background. We now see that the woman wearing the fedora is also wearing an unbuttoned tourist shirt with red, green, and yellow leaves all over it. Next is the image of a sheep mask, and a bluegrass guitar riff sounds off as we see the fedora woman on top of a stump, her arms once again outstretched, as the flannel woman and many other people bow before her.-

-The woman cackles eerily as we see another close-up of her, this time with her long, purple hair covering her eyes. We see her reflection in the water, and the camera zooms around in the grass. Her cackle reverbs as we see wooden planks, and the fedora woman spinning in front of a rocking chair. She disappears, and the rocking chair rocks by itself, but it stops rocking when she reappears-

?: We live in a world...where society..has poisoned the souls of men….-the riff kicks in, as we see a 1950's plastic cutout of a policeman waving. The woman has taking her fedora off, and she slowly turns back to the camera as the woman with the flannel cannot takes her eyes off of what is ahead of her. An ominous sign states "Obey."- It hovers over them like a dark cloud, where they can't do anything about it… -we see a piano and a STOP sign.- "'Cuz they're just the regular everyday working class…" -there is a man in a fisher's cap walking down a pavement, the camera not stopping for him. Yet another closeup of the woman in the fedora- People like me….-an echo on the word "ME." as she stands in the forest, this time alone.- they get down on their hands and knees...and they whisper these little lies and secrets into their ears…-we see a sign that entails "NO TRESPASSING." The fedora woman is sitting in the rocking chair. At her side is the flannel lady, and another woman in a buttoned green vest and green cargo pants. We see close ups on the two associates.- WELL I HAVE A SECRET OF MY OWN! -the fedora woman sits in her rocking chair, smiling, as the lyrics hit-

"Catching flies….in his MOOOUUTTHH…." -the flannel woman is still staring ahead of her as the woman in the green getup walks right past the camera. The fedora woman looks off in the distance with her hair still in her eyes. We see a padlock, and a grasshopper walking on a rusted bar, and then walking backwards on it.-

?: And what are you gonna do? -this questions echos.- What are you gonna do, when they decide it's time?

Flannel woman: We are the ones…

?: When they start to walk upright?

Flannel woman: The ones...you've been told about…and WE are walking UPRIGHT. -an echo of the fedora wearing woman repeats, as she continues to speak-

?: What are you gonna do? Well I know what you're gonna do….-we get another sudden close up- ...RUN. -it is obvious that this video package was set up to skip around at times. The "RUN" was not the answer to what we are going to do…- You're gonna tell them…

Woman in green vest: -who has now changed into a blue vest- We're coming….

?: RUN.

Flannel woman: Now send us...someone -we get a close up on the sheep mask from before, which happens to be worn by the woman in the green vest- Just don't send anyone… -the camera scrolls through a cemetery- you want BACK.

?: WITNESS. THE NEW FACE. OF FEAR! -more closeups on the woman in the green vest, and the woman in the flannel joyfully smiling as the woman with the fedora begins to sing in an echo- And everywhere that Mary went… -we see the woman with the fedora rocking back in forth on a patio swing as the locusts continue to buzz. The fedora woman is bobbing her head back and forth quickly, as we scroll across a table of antique plates and rusted pans. The last thing on the table is the voodoo doll from before.-

"Broken out in love…." -the flannel woman is surrounded by no one. Her shoulders are less slumped, but she still continues to stare at the camera ahead.-

?: The lamb was sure to gooooo…. -the woman with the green vest, now wearing a blue vest once again, as well as the sheep mask, lowers her head into the shot, blocking the flannel wearing woman. The locusts cease buzzing, and now the only noise we hear is the low-toned laughter of the fedora woman. We see flashes of her with her bulged out as she laughs.- ….We're coming.

Quick results:

Diamond Tiara defeated Lyra by pinfall
Honeycomb defeated Twist by pinfall
Rarity defeated Midnight Strike by pinfall
Snips and Snails defeated The BroMans by pinfall
Berry Punch defeated Turf by count-out
Rumble, Flitter, and Cloudchaser defeated Overdrive by pinfall (New Carnage Champion)

Age:25
Hometown: Loneyville
Allies: None
Rivals: Rarity, Cavities
Signature Moves: Brush, Rinse, Repeat (BRR), State of Decay
Finisher: Root Canal
Theme: Kayfabe contest entry: Issac Yankem D.D.S./Kane mashup theme: Burning Drill

Family: No Information Available

Character Traits: Cruel, Sadistic, Apathetic, Evil, Twisted
Background: As a young girl Colgate had an intense love of candy, chocolate, and all things sweet. She also hated brushing her teeth, and rarely did it. But then one day she met her greatest foe, the cavity. Multiple cavities actually, and she was forced to spend several hours having her mouth stretched wide open while a dentist used several different instruments to inflict pain on her teeth. The root canals were even worse, although Colgate survived the procedures, she was never quite the same. She swore off all sweets for ever, and begin a rigorous routine of brushing her own teeth four times a day.

Colgate never forgot the pain she experienced, and she wanted others to know her pain, so she begin to inflict it on her fellow high school students. As time went on she discovered that she ENJOYED inflicting this pain, and sought for new ways to do so.

Now Colgate is in the EWF, where pain is an often-used word. She requires no friends, only the ability to get out there and make all who stand in her way suffer.

*One-hundred percent reason to remember the name*
-An amazing display of blue and green pyrotechnics blasts off on stage as the crowd goes wild for another crazy night of Friday Night Sublime-
Dr. Whooves: Welcome ladies and gents to Friday Night Sublime, and I must say the crowd is certainly hyped up for tonight.
Discord: They probably still have fumes in their system from that chaotic pay-per-view we had at Proving Grounds, I know I do.
Dr. Whooves: A chaotic pay-per-view it certainly was, Sublime crowned it's first ever World Fighter's Champion, Trixie, who beat Rainbow Dash in a spectacular match.
Discord: And don't forget that absolutely delightful battle royal for the International Champion. Nine losers, with only one winner: Daring Do.
Dr. Whooves: We have more top shelf matches coming up here tonight. Two big qualifying matches: One to determine the team representing Sublime in the Combos of Carnage match at Retribution, and another to determine the number one contender for Thunderlane's World Fighter's Championship.
*Trixie's theme plays, she enters the ring to a mix of cheers and boos*
Discord: It looks like our champion has something to say.
Dr. Whooves: Some of those people don't seem happy about it.
Discord: They just can't withstand the majesty of her voice.
Trixie: -Waits a time before speaking- Sorry about the delay, your great and powerful champion was just giving you all a chance to bask in her glory. *Boos, Trixie laughs* Your jealous is delicious. Those of you who boo, do so because you know that you are not good enough. You are not good enough to hold this title, and never will be. You can not compare to the skilled and impervious Trixie, who has defeated all her stood in her way and has not lost even once. Even Rainbow Dash was no match for Trixie's amazing skill. Nobody on Sublime is a match for Trixie, however...rules made my lesser people force me to defend this title once a month. So, Trixie wonders….why not just get it out of the way? Trixie will defend her title right now...and she will defend it against...Sweet Tooth.
*Sweet Tooth's theme plays and she emerges to the ring with a few cheers, but mostly silence*
Baritone: Now approaching the ring, from Charleston, standing five foot, six inches tall, weighing 128 pounds, Sweet Tooth!
Dr. Whooves: Atleast that blowhard has finally stopped talking.
Discord: How rude, so some respect for your great and powerful champion.
Dr. Whooves: Don't you start….
Match 1: World Fighter's Championship, Sweet Tooth vs. Trixie
*4 minutes later*
-Sweet Tooth hits Trixie with a spinning heel kick, and goes for her finisher only to be caught and brought to the floor by Trixie, allowing her to hit the Ursa Lock-
Dr. Whooves: Uh-oh, this is probably the end right here folks. Many Sublime superstars have been forced to tap to this hold.
-Sweet Tooth taps after about twenty seconds-
Discord: And that's all she wrote…
Baritone: And her- -Trixie grabs the mic away, Baritone merely frowns and steps out of the way-
Trixie: And here is your winner, and still the World Fighter's Champion, the GRRRRREEEAAAAAAT AND POWWWWWWEEEERRRFUUUULLLLL TRRRRRRRIXIE!
-Crowd boos-
Trixie: Congratulations EWF Universe, you are now guaranteed a full month of the Trixie era, the first of many and many to come. And now that Trixie has defended her title, it's time for her to get going..
*I'm the cult of personality!*
Dr. Whooves: Here comes Sublime's general manager Celestia, hopefully to put Trixie in her great and powerful place.
Celestia: Now just one second Trixie. That's not how this works. You don't get to just come on out here at the start of the show, decide you're having a title match, beat a hand-picked opponent and then walk out as if you're the boss.
Trixie: This title makes me the boss…
Celestia: Not quite. Championships change hands, I'm General Manager for as long as I please. Which means you listen to me, like it or not. I will decide when titles are defended, and who they are defended against, not you. You're still going to have to defend your title at Retribution, your opponent will be decided in a number one contender's match on tonight's main event, Colgate versus Pinkie Pie.
-Loud cheers-
Discord: Now there's a recipe for destruction.
: What a first match on Sublime for Colgate.
Trixie: Pfffttt...whatever. Trixie is not scared of either of those two.
Celestia: I guess we'll just see about that. And to keep you from trying to pull any stunts the following month,assuming you even retain the title, Retribution will be having a fatal-four-way match to determine the number one contender for the World Fighter's Championship at the following pay-per-view, the participants of said match will be determine in qualifying matches that will take place over the next four weeks. Now don't get any ideas about manipulating this, remember, I have the power.
Discord: Ah, Celestia, Using power to screw with people's plans as always.
*Commercial*
-The show returns with a shot backstage of Marigold with both Blueblood and Hoity Toity, who are accompanied by Octavia-
Marigold: I'm here with Canterlot Class, where we have just learned that Blueblood will be one of the wrestlers fightings in the number one contender's match for Thunderlane's World Brawler's title later tonight. Blueblood, can you give us your thoughts on your opponent the Under Baker?
Blueblood: *Chuckles* What's there to say? He's just a creepy baker with an easy bake oven, there's nothing to be afraid of. Sure he scared Thunderlane away, but that doesn't seem to take much. Besides I have one thing Under Baker doesn't, besides good looks, allies. I have my esteemed colleague Hoity Toity, and now I also have the lovely Octavia who has left her former peasant of a tag team partner Vinyl Scratch to join Canterlot Class.
Marigold: Octavia, many have been wondering as to why you abandoned your tag team partner on the last episode of Sublime. Care you to enlighten us?
Octavia: Hmph. You assume I have to explain my actions to you or anyone else, I don't, but I'll make a few statements anyways. The reason I did what I did is because Vinyl Scratch is nothing more than dead weight. We had three matches together on Sublime and lost every single one of them. Obviously the tag team business was not for us, and I wasn't going to let her drag me down into obscurity. Canterlot Class is a lot better move for me, this is a stable that is going places, and it'll get where it needs to be even faster with me as a manager.
Hoity Toity: Let's go my friends, we've wasted enough time on this interview.
-Canterlot Class exits the room-
Discord: It seems Canterlot Class has become even more formidable.
Dr. Whooves: Maybe, but we'll see what Vinyl Scratch thinks of their new manager. But in the meantime we have the first of the qualifying matches for the number one contender's match at Retribution.
*Nurse Redheart's theme plays*
Baritone: Introducing first, Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!
*She felt the wind and longed to follow*
Baritone:And her opponent, accompanied by Soarin, standing six foot tall and weighing 159 pounds, from Cloudsdale, Spitfire!
Match 2: #1 Contender F4W Qualifying Match, Spitfire w/Soarin vs. Nurse Redheart
*8 Minutes later*
-Nurse Redheart goes for the Pink Collar submission, but Spitfire powers out and knocks her down with a dropkick, she then climbs the turnbuckle and hits the Supermarine-
Discord: That's what I call air superiority.
*1…..2…..3*
Baritone: And here's your winner, Spitfire!
-Spitfire and Soarin celebrate as the show cuts to commercial-
-When the show returns Applejack is in the center of the ring with fellow family members: Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, and Granny Smith-
Applejack: Ah am absolutely disgusted at what happened at Proving Grounds, disgusted. What was 'posed to be an honest match between my kin and those EGO yahoos, turned into somethin' else when that skank Fleur De Lis slapped mah poor defenseless grandmother.
-Granny Smith frowns, Apple Bloom and Big MacIntosh shake their heads in sympathy-
*The titantron shows a replay of the events*
Dr. Whooves: Terrible, bloody terrible. Fleur De Lis has no shame..
Discord: Women that beautiful have no need for shame.
Granny Smith: Grrr...just let me at 'er! I'll tear 'er down!
Applejack: Granny, you're ten times the woman she is, but she's got youth, and sadly you ain't in the shape to fight her, but I'll make sure you're right there when I kick the darn crap out of her. -She turns back to the arena- Ya hear that Fleur? I'm challengin'' ya! And if ya'll got anythin' but looks to ya name you'll agree to fight me at Retribution. And if ya little boyfriends in EGO have a problem with this, there's plenty members of the family willin' to knock their heads together.
-The crowd cheers as the Apple Dynasty members leave the ring with determination in their steps-
: Applejack is rightfully angry, but I doubt Fleur is going to accept.
Discord: Why should she? A pretty face like her's doesn't need to get messed up by a brutish woman like Applejack.
: You know what they say, don't dish it out if you can't take it.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: The following match will determine who will represent Sublime in the Combos of Carnage Championship match, at Retribution! Introducing first, weighing a combined weight of 334 pounds, the team of Checkmate and Davenport, Couch-Mate!
-Checkmate and Davenport enter the arena. Davenport wearing a full business suit, handing out discount coupons to the audience as he walks down the ramp. Checkmate wearing a pair of pants with different chess pieces painted on, he seems to be analyzing audience members as he heads forward-
Dr. Whooves: I must say this is the oddest looking team I've seen on Sublime so far, did you pick their ring attire out for them Discord?
Discord: Not at all, but I do approve.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: And introducing their opponents, at a combined weight of 349 pounds, representing the Apple Dynasty, Red Delicious and Golden Delicious!
-The Delicious brothers enter the arena, dressed in completely identical attire-
Dr. Whooves: If it weren't for the color difference I don't think you'd be able to tell which was which…
Match 3: Combos of Carnage Qualifying Match: Couchmate vs. Red Delicious and Golden Delicious
*10 minutes*
Dr. Whooves: Both these teams are making their first appearance, but they're definitely trying to make it a memorable one.
-Davenport finds himself in the opposite turnbuckle and gets hit with a team finisher by Red and Golden Delicious, Golden then tries to pull both of Davenport's arms back for some type of move but Davenport slips out of the jacket in his suit and tries to crawl away, Golden goes after him only to receive a hard kick in the face, Davenport makes the tag-
-Checkmate enters the match like a house of fire, seeming to predict Golden's every move and countering them, after about a minute of this he hits his finishing move: Castle-
Checkmate: That's check! -He goes for the pin, Red enters the ring to try and make the save only to be blindsided by Davenport-
*1….2…..3*
Checkmate: And that's checkmate!
Baritone: And here are your winners, representing Sublime in the Combos of Carnage championship match at Retribution, Couch-Mate!

Dr. Whooves: What a match, I don't think anyone expected those two to come out on top.

Discord: I did. The weird ones always, win, always.

Dr. Whooves: Then why are you stuck here?

Discord: All part of the grand scheme my dull Brit.
*Commercial Break*
-The show cuts in backstage where Pinkie Pie is pushing around a bunch of sweets on a catering cart, she rolls up to Colgate who merely glares at her-
Pinkie Pie: Hi there Colgate, I just wanted to give you a big, super duper welcome to Sublime! And wish you luck in our match tonight, and I made some chocolate chunk cookies so you'll feel right at home! *Holds up an entire plate of cookies*
Colgate: REPULSIVE! -Colgate smacks the the plate across the room much to Pinkie's dismay-Do you know what those THINGS represent? PLAQUE, TOOTH DECAY, CAVITIES, ROOT CANALS! -Colgate gets closer to Pinkie's face with each word, almost spitting at the end- I'll see you in the ring tonight, and you'll regret offering me those vile sweets. -Starts to walk off, but turns back around- Oh, and if you EVER try to push some cavity creating concoction on me again I will rip every single decayed tooth out of your mouth! -Walks away-
-Pinkie Pie just stares at the floor frowning for a moment-
Pinkie Pie: Why would she do that? That was so mean…..-Suddenly perks up- OH, maybe she's a cake person instead! I'll try that next time! OH OH OH, and wait, COOOOOLGAAAAAATE! WILL YOU COME TO YOUR WELCOME TO SUBLIME PARTY TONIGHT?!
Colgate: NO!
Pinkie Pie: Okie dookie, maybe next week then.
Dr. Whooves: I don't think Pinkie Pie understands the concept of not poking a bear…
Discord: I'm sure Colgate is all nice and sweet deep down. Very,very,very,very,deep down…
-Super fancy, classy sounding music plays-
Baritone: The following match will determine the number one contender for the World Brawler's Championship, introducing first, accompanied by Hoity Toity and Octavia, weighing 195 pounds and standing six foot, four inches tall, from Canterlot, Blueblood!
-Canterlot Class casually strolls down to the ring, ignoring the multitude of boos from the audience-
*Oven buzzer,followed by dark piano music and the sound of flames*
Baritone: And the opponent, from bakeries unknown, weighing 233 pounds, standing at six foot, five inches tall, the Under Baker!
-The Under Baker makes his way to the ring with his oven in tow-
Match 4: World Brawler's Championship #1 Contender Match: Under Baker vs. Blueblood/w Hoity Toity and Octavia
-14 minutes in, Under Baker appears to be completely in control of the match is on the verge of victory-
-Octavia gets on the rope and taps the ref on the shoulder, then proceeds to start arguing with him over nothing-
-While the ref is distracted Hoity Toity tosses Blueblood his scepter, which he uses to strike the Under Baker across the face-
: Canterlot Class once again shows a classless display in their fighting.
Discord: It's called strategy, and strategy IS classy.
-Octavia ceases to distract the ref as Blueblood makes the pin-
*1…..2…..3!*
-Loud boos-
Baritone: And here is your winner, Blueblood!
-Canterlot Class begins to celebrate in the ring, but it's short lived as a loud buzzer sounds and the lighting turns to a dim red, Under Baker suddenly sits up and gets to his feet, Hoity Toity charges at him only to get flipped over, Blueblood grabs his scepter and attempts to hit Under Baker with it again, only this time Under Baker grabs it and gives Blueblood a hard kick to the gut in order to force him to lose his grip, Under Baker then throws the scepter out of the ring, Octavia attempts to attack him only to get thrown out herself, Blueblood and Hoity Toity then begin to team up on Under Baker, seeming to have the upper hand for a moment before Under Baker grabs them both by the throat and slams them down to the mat, Hoity Toity rolls out of the ring leaving only Blueblood left inside, Under Baker lifts Blueblood to his feet and then hit's the Baker's Dozen on him-
Dr. Whooves: Just incredible….Under Baker has single handedly incapacitated all the members of Canterlot Class.
Discord: It hardly matters though, Blueblood already has the number one contender's spot. Under Baker can't do a thing about it now.
Dr. Whooves: True, but I think Canterlot Class might come to regret angering this demented baker…
-The show fades to commercial with Under Baker standing strong in the ring, all of Canterlot Class laid out around him-
-The show returns with Octavia in the locker room, still looking a bit shaken from earlier, Vinyl Scratch sneaks in the door behind her-
Vinyl Scratch: What's the matter? New team not doing so well?
-Octavia looks surprised at first, but quickly composes herself- Octavia: Oh please….it's already infinitely more successful than my own team. We can handle some baker with a screw loose.
Vinyl Scratch: Whatever….that's now what I'm here about anyways. What I want to know is, what the hell is your problem?!
Octavia: I don't know what you mean, be more specific Vinyl.
Vinyl Scratch: You know exactly what I mean. You ditched me and fed me to the dogs during our last match, for literally no good reason.
Octavia: I had perfectly good reasons. You were dead weight, or tag team was going absolutely nowhere, so I jumped ship before you could drag me down into obscurity with you. It's nothing personal…
Vinyl Scratch: Well it is to me. Either you apologize, or I'll kick your ass in the ring next week.
Octavia: You want to fight ME? Oh this'll be good, I accept your little match. It'll be my chance to prove to the entire EWF universe that I am the better of the two of us. Now if you excuse me, I've got important plans…
-Octavia leaves the locker room with Vinyl Scratch glaring at her-
Dr. Whooves: Definitely some bad blood forming between Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
Discord: All depends if Vinyl's bite is as bad as her bark.
*Exotic Arabian music begins to play*
-An arabian man walks on stage with a microphone-
Haakim: إدخال الآن، في لها كل جلاله ونعمة، ابنة الثالثة من المنزل الخامس من المجذاف السعودية، أميرة! (Now introducing, in her all majesty and grace, the third daughter of the fifth house of Paddle Arabia, Amira!)
-An Arabian women clothed in very rich looking clothing and several items of jewelry exits on to the stage and makes her way down to the ring-
Dr. Whooves: Looks like Sublime is getting a foreign flavor tonight.
Discord: I do love exotic women.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: And her opponent, from Loneyville, weighing in at 153 pounds, standing six foot, seven inches tall, Cheerilee!
Match 5: Amira vs. Cheerilee
*15 minutes later*
-Cheerliee sets up for the In-Ring-Suspension, but Amira counters out of it and hits her with a Dust Devil and makes the pin-
*1….2…3!*
Haakim: هنا هو المنتصر الخاص بك، ناجحة في بلدها أول معركة كبيرة، وقوية إلى الأبد أميرة! (Here is your winner, successful in her first great battle, the eternally powerful Amira!
Dr. Whooves: It seems Sublime now has a foreign occupier.
Discord: I for one would welcome a new Saddle Arabian overlady.
*Commercial Break*
: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, it's now time for our main event.
Discord: Two candidates step up for a shot at the big title, the demented dentist, or the ditzy sweet maker. Both are crazy in their own way, but only one is crazy enough to be champion.
Baritone: The following match will determine the number one contender for the World Fighter's Championship!
*Drilling sound fills the arena*
Baritone: And introducing first, from Loneyville, weighing in at 141 pounds and standing six foot, two inches tall, Colgate!
-Colgate walks down the ramp, glaring any member of the audience who dares eat a sugary sweet in her presence-
Dr. Whooves: Colgate certainly has a murderous look in her eyes…
*Do you believe in magic?*
Baritone: And introducing her opponent, weighing in at 150 pounds, and standing at five foot, eight inches tall, from the town of Loneyville. Pinkie Pie!
-Pinkie Pie cheerfully makes her way down to the ring, almost bouncing with every step-
Main Event: EWF Championship #1 Contender's Match, Colgate vs. Pinkie Pie
*18 minutes later*
Dr. Whooves: Both these two have been giving it all they got, and both are starting to look wore down.
-Colgate manages to lock in the Root Canal-
Discord: Oooh, just look at the pain. I think this might be over soon…..
-Pinkie Pie somehow manages to force her way out of the Root Canal and hits a Pinkie Sense on Colgate, however Colgate rolls out of the ring to avoid being pinned-
-Pinkie Pie exits the ring and starts tearing down the announce table-
Discord: *Grabs cup off table* Saved my tea!
-Pinkie Pie moves Colgate onto the announce table and re-enters the ring, perching herself on the turnbuckle-
Dr. Whooves: Pinkie Pie going high risk!
-Pinkie Pie launchers herself off the turnbuckle and puts Colgate through a table, but injures herself in the process, the ref begins counting down, getting to eight before Pinkie even stirs, Pinkie tries to make her way into the ring but Colgate forces herself up and grabs Pinkie before she can re-enter, causing them both to be counted out-
Baritone: The following match has ended in a double countout, and is a no contest!
Discord: Whaaaat? Now how do we decide our number one contender?!
Dr. Whooves: I'm sure our general manager will figure something out, but we're out of time for tonight, so we'll just have to see next week!
Discord: Gaaaaaahh!
-End of show-
Match Results:
Match 1: World Fighter's Championship, Sweet Tooth vs. Trixie Trixie won
Match 2: WF Championship #1 Contender QM, Spitfire vs. Nurse Redheart Spitfire won
Match 3: Combos of Carnage Qualifying Match, Couchmate vs. Red Delicious and Golden Delicious, Couchmate won
Match 4: World Brawler's #1 Contender Match, Under Baker vs. Blueblood w/Hoity Toity and Octavia, Blueblood won
Match 5: Amira vs. Cheerilee, Amira won
Main Event: World Fighter's Championship #1 Contender's Match, Colgate vs. Pinkie Pie No-Contest

1. Trixie Position Change:0 Last Week:1 *World Fighter's Champion*
2. Scootaloo Position Change:+1 Last Week:3
3. Overdrive Position Change:-1 Last Week:2
4. Lightning Dust Position Change:0 Last Week:4
5. Fancy Pants Position Change:0 Last Week:5 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*
6. Gustave Le Grand Position Change:0 Last Week:6 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*
7. Babs Seed Position Change:0 Last Week:7
8. Pinkie Pie Position Change:+7 Last Week:15
9. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:-1 Last Week:8 *Eternal Women's Champion*
10. Photo Finish Position Change:-1 Last Week:9 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*
11. Pretty Vision Position Change:-1 Last Week:10 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*
12. Sunset Shimmer Position Change:+5 Last Week:17 *Crater Chick Champion*
13. Cadance Position Change:-2 Last Week:11
14. Diamond Tiara Position Change:+4 Last Week:18
15. Apple Bloom Position Change:-3 Last Week:12
16. Braeburn Position Change:-3 Last Week:13
17. Happy Trails Position Change:-3 Last Week:14
18. Commander Hurricane Position Change:-2 Last Week:16
19. Snips Position Change:+8 Last Week:27
20. Snails Position Change:+8 Last Week:28
21. Turf Position Change:-2 Last Week:19 *1/2 Chick Combo Champion*
22. Silver Spoon Position Change:-2 Last Week:20 *1/2 Chick Combo Champion*
23. Colgate Position Change:+6 Last Week:29
24. Twist Position Change:-3 Last Week:21
25. Rumble Position Change:N/A Last Week: N/A *Carnage Champion*
26. Flash Sentry Position Change:-4 Last Week:22
27. Shining Armor Position Change:-4 Last Week:23
28. Daring Do Position Change:-3 Last Week:25 *International Champion*
29. Rainbow Dash Position Change:-5 Last Week:24
30. Thunderlane Position Change:0 Last Week:30 *World Brawler's Champion*

Entering the Power 30:
Rumble: Rumble earned a great redemption this week on Lunacy as he earned his Carnage Championship and finally settled the score with Overdrive. (Or has he?)

Leaving the Power 30:
Underbaker: Underbaker lost his chance to compete for the World Brawler's Championship again at Retribution, and with it he also lost his spot on this list.

Superstars to watch out for:
Rarity: Rarity is already showing signs of a comeback on Lunacy, with a solid victory over Midnight Strike and winning her spot as number one contender for the Crater Chick Championship.

Spitfire: Spitfire as well has shown signs of a comeback with her own victory over Nurse Redheart, earning her the first spot in Sublime's Fatal-Four-Way Number one contender's match at Retribution.

Women's Eternal World Championship:

Champion: Twilight Sparkle
1. Lightning Dust (1) =
2. Sunset Shimmer (4) ^
3. Rarity (7) ^
4. Cadance (2) v
5. Diamond Tiara (9) ^
6. Turf (3) v
7. Berry Punch (10) ^
8. Scootaloo (6) v
9. Silver Spoon (EIGHT) v
10. Honeycomb (N/A)

World Fighters Championship:

Champion: Trixie
1. Colgate (N/A)
2. Pinkie Pie (8) ^
3. Spitfire (5) ^
4. Daring Do (1) v
5. Rainbow Dash (2) v
6. Commander Hurricane (5) v
7. Applejack (6) v
8. Octavia (N/A) ^
9. Babs Seed (7) v
10. Apple Bloom (3) v

Carnage Championship:

Champion: Rumble
1. Snails (2) ^
2. Snips (3) ^
3. Bill Nyeker (N/A)
4. Damien Sandow (N/A)
5. Fancy Pants (4) v
6. Gustave Le Grand (5) v
7. Overdrive (1) v
8. Neon Lights (6) v
9. DJ Zema Ion (7) v
10. Hugh Jelly (EIGHT) v

World Brawlers Championship:

Champion: Thunderlane
1. Prince Blueblood (3) ^
2. Underbaker (1) v
3. Checkmate (N/A)
4. Davenport (N/A)
5. Hoity Toity (2) v
6. Big MacIntosh (4) v
7. Soarin (5) v
8. Steamer (6)
9. Braeburn (7) v
10. Happy Trails (8) v

Crater Chick Championship:

Champion: Sunset Shimmer
1. Rarity (10) ^
2. Honeycomb (N/A) ^
3. Midnight Strike (2) v
4. Berry Punch (N/A)
5. Silver Spoon (3) v
6. Turf (4) v
7. Cloudchaser (5) v
8. Flitter (6) v
9. Sparkler (7) v
10. Bon Bon (9) v

International Championship:

Champion: Daring Do
1. Spitfire (4) ^
2. Pinkie Pie (5) ^
3. Octavia (9) ^
4. Commander Hurricane (1) v
5. Photo Finish (2) v
6. Pretty Vision (3) v
7. Amira (N/A)
8. Applejack (7) v
9. Nurse Redheart (N/A)
10. Sweet Tooth (EIGHT) v

*The beautiful people...OOOHHH….*

-Fireworks. Yeah, those are cool-

Ahuizotl: Welcome everybody to Monday Night Lunacy! We are LIVE, here in Loneyville, Equestria! I'm Ahuizotl, and this is my usually frustrating, but ALWAYS insightful broadcast partner...Garble!

Garble: -makes a heart symbol with his fingers- Awww….you remembered me!

Ahuizotl: Well, it seems like the wait wasn't as long for this episode than the wait for the last one…-mumbles-..still not sure why that is-ANYWAY! You're GOING to remember this episode after it's all set and done, folks!

Garble: I'd assume so, my lengthy-faced friend...aaand HERE'S WHY! Last week, in the main event, we crowned the very FIRST Carnage Champion!

Ahuizotl: His name is Rumble, and we're going to hear from 'The Gorgeous One' TONIGHT.

Garble: In addition, we are going to find out just WHO Rumble will be defending his title against in 3 weeks at Retribution. Newcomer Damien Sandow and the educator of the EWF, Bill Nyeker will be fighting for this right. Last week, we saw the career REVIVAL of Mr. Nyeker! He isn't a HORSE, he's a goddamn HUMAN BEING, and he showed us how truly smart he is by realizing that.

Ahuizotl: Speaking of championships, the Chick Combo championships will be on the line in our MAIN EVENT, as the team of Silver Spoon and Turf have their first title defense, against their arch-rivals, Berry Punch and Scootaloo!

Garble: Who seem to FINALLY be on the same page, which is good. They're going to need it.

Ahuizotl: Especially since Diamond Tiara doesn't have her neckbrace weighing her down anymore, you have to figure that she'll be a HUGE benefactor by being in the corner of her besties!

Garble: Security will be earning their paycheck tonight, as Princess Luna GUARANTEED that we WILL hear from our new Eternal Women's Champion, Twilight Sparkle.

Ahuizotl: She has also invited Lightning Dust to join Twilight in the ring. Last week, Lightning Dust CRASHED Twilight's "State of the Championship Address."

Garble: Hopefully Ms. Dust can engage in a calm and civil chat with Twilight. She's lucky she was even invited to the show tonight after the stunt she pulled last week...spitting on our lovely General Manager Luna….the NERVE, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: Lightning Dust shouldn't have to be invited to ANYTHING! She WORKS HERE, and she was ROBBED of her title! I just hope Luna is willing to protect her golden egg laying goose….

Garble: Oh, trust me, Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis picked the BEST possible representative they could've for this brand. Twilight is 100% BEST FOR BUSINESS.

Ahuizotl: Oh please don't start with this….

Garble: Some Joe Blow made it into a t-shirt, 'Zotl...it's not going away anytime soon….

*REDACTED THEME* -mostly boos, but if there are cheers, you know who they're cheering for-

Madden: The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FAAALLLl! Making their way to the ring, accompanied...by FLEEEUURR…DE LIS! At a combined weight, of 443 POOOUNNDSSS! They are, the Combo of Carnaaaggeee...tag team CHAAAMMPPIIOONNS...Gustave Le Grand, and Faaanccy Paaannttsss...EEEEEGGOOOOOOO!

Ahuizotl: You got a good joke for EGO this week, boy?

Garble: -shakes his head- I don't. And, ya know, even if I did, it doesn't matter. These two are rugged, no-nonsense men. They aren't here to laugh, they're here to prove just how much better they are than everybody else!

Ahuizotl: Well, they haven't faced "everybody else", so that remains to be seen…however, at Retribution, EGO will have their first title defense, when they defend in a three way, against Snips and Snails of SLIME, as well as Davenport and Checkmate of Couch-Mate.

Garble: EGO sure doesn't see it as being much of a challenge, and can you blame them? Couch-Mate? Enough said there...and SLIME? They've beaten the same team over and over! What threat are they?

Ahuizotl: Well, they may be at a handicapped state, because the woman that helped them WIN the titles, Fleur De Lis, just may be busy herself that night.

Garble: I will usually come to bat for a beautiful woman like Fleur, but all I can think about when I look at her is your berating screams at Proving Grounds when she kicked Granny Smith in the kidney.

Ahuizotl: I was going to never bring that up again, but after Applejack's passionate promo on Friday, I just can't help! I want Applejack to PULVERIZE Fleur's own kidney, and turn that pretty little face into MASH! Let's see how she likes that! I BET SHE WON'T! I SURE AS HELL BET SHE WON'T! ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE, FLEUR! ACCEPT THE DAMN CHALLENGE!

-Fleur poses in the middle of her clients, as numerous wolf-whistles can be heard-

*Ehehehe….everybody come see the greatest show….* -quite a few cheers-

Madden: Aaaandd THEIR OPPONENTS! Representing THEEEE ODDITIES! Accompanied to the ring, by Hugh Jelly, and Miiiddniight Strike! At a combined weight, of 511 POOOOUUNNDDSSS...the team of Dance Fever….and CLIIIPP CLOOOPP!

Garble: I mentioned EGO's opponents at Retribution, but here's a loser GROUP. Very rare nowadays….

Ahuizotl: The Oddities were downright BETRAYED by Bill Nyeker, just so he could turn the Lunacy ring into his own CLASSROOM.

Garble: Yes! It was the PERFECT career move for Mr. Nyeker!

Ahuizotl: Did The Oddities even know about it, though? Did Mr. Nyeker even care enough to tell them!?

Garble: These freaks dancing around our announce table right now OBVIOUSLY didn't care about Mr. Nyeker if they didn't know that he felt this way.

Ahuizotl: NO, maybe HE never cared enough to talk to them about it! Why would he join the damn group only to leave it a month later?!

Garble: Probably has a launching pad to do what he's doing now! Why does it even matter? The Oddities have been rightfully EXPELLED, and REMOVED from Mr. Nyeker's class roster. What is there to worry about?

Ahuizotl: For him? Damien Sandow later tonight….

Garble: Yeah? Well that's later tonight. Right now he gets to watch the Special Ed. kids get MANHANDLED by the Yale graduates….

Match 1: EGO w/ Fleur De Lis vs Clip Clop & Dance Fever w/ Midnight Strike and Hugh Jelly

-6 minutes later-

-Clip Clop drops Gustave to the mat with an Atomic Drop, and then sets up for The Whoopie Cushion finisher. Fleur De Lis gets on the apron and whips her hair around in front of the referee, much to both his and the male fans in the crowd's delight-

Ahuizotl: Yet again another PERFECT example of why I want to see this braud down on her back...and I DON'T mean the way she spends her Friday Night…

Garble: Ohhh SHIIIITT!

-Clip Clop bounces off the ropes as Dance Fever tags himself in, but Fancy grabs onto the top rope with both of his hands and pulls down, sending the large clown down to the floor with a thud. On the other side of the ring, Midnight Strike has succeeded in yanking Fleur off of the ring apron by her hair. She attempts to punch her, but Fleur ducks at the last second, quickly pulls a bottle of hair spray out of her purse, and unleashes it into the eyes of Midnight. The crowd OOOH's-

Garble: You've gotta admit, though, 'Zotl...she is resourceful as all hell!

-Fleur shoves Midnight into the barricade with Force, and puts the bottle back into her purse like nothing ever happened. Hugh runs over to check on his girlfriend, but is met with a big boot to the face, courtesy of Fancy Pants. As all of this is happening, in the ring, Dance Fever lets off just enough concern over his fellow stable-mates to be blindsided with "Le Grand Finale" by Gustave!-

1…...2…..3!

Ahuizotl: And they did it AGAIN! EGO wins AGAIN, thanks to their devilish manager!

Madden: Here are your WINNERS…..EGGGOOOO!

-Fleur De Lis enters the ring with a microphone, along with Fancy, who is soon returned with his belt, as is his partner-

Garble: I'll admit, 'Zotl...I'm not denying EGO's success, I mean hell, look at the titles they have! But they haven't been able to win a SINGLE match without the help of Fleur De Lis!

Ahuizotl: It's absolutely PATHETIC at this point! Midnight Strike hasn't cost any of The Oddities' opponents their matches! She just stands there in SUPPORT!

Garble: Hell, for about a month, Midnight was, albeit unintentionally, screwed by her OWN managers! EGO is going to have to win a match on their OWN if they want to solidify themselves as WORTHY champions.

Ahuizotl: For once, we agree. Either way, the Jezebel has a mic...is she going to accept Applejack's challenge? I PRAY she does…

-Fleur hands the mic to Fancy before she can say anything, causing the crowd to boo-

Garble: What a tease…

Fancy: To the shock of no one, me and my fellow gentlepartner easily disposed of those Yippy-Ki-Yay apple-huskers at Proving Grounds, en route to becoming the prominent tag team in the Equestrian Wrestling Federation. Though, as usual, the less fortunate always find a way to paint the elite as the bad guys….those pesky Apples are trying to blame the lovely Mrs. Fleur for their failures, when really….they're just...not good enough. -chuckles- Physically, nor characteristically. Need we remind you that the lady who fired the first shot at ringside that night was that Jurassic dust-bunny known as Granny Smith…-crowd boos- Mrs. Fleur is a highly sought-after model all over Equestria, and soon she will going to Los Angeles for a photo shoot, which will be put in Maxim magazine's "100 Most Beautiful Women in the World" edition. That saggy Apple tried to RUIN Mrs. Fleur's delicate dimples! THESE DIMPLES ARE MONEY! And so Mrs. Fleur decided to do some...collateral damage, because let's face it...Mrs. Fleur's face will be used for many more years to come, whereas Granny Smith's kidneys wouldn't be working for much longer anyway….I mean, she isn't going to be around for much longer, either way….-massive array of boos-

Ahuizotl: Smug assholes…..-the announced table shakes with his rage-

Crowd: FUCK YOU, EGO! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU, EGO! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* FUCK YOU, EGO! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Fancy: So….beautiful face, or….decrepit, shriveled up kidneys….take your pick on which you'd rather have stick around….

Crowd: WE WANT KIDNEYS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT KIDNEYS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* WE WANT KIDNEYS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Probably not even in the top 10 weirdest chants we've heard in this place….

Fancy: Of course you do...you're just as bad as all those dreadful Apples! You all should be living in BARNS! -more boos- That is why, at Retribution...Mrs. Fleur will prove she is MORE than just a pretty face, when she makes APPLESAUCE out of her precious granddaughter. And THAT, will result in that fossil dropping to the floor, and the final thing she will witness...is Mrs. Fleur standing PROUDLY, and SOPHISTICATEDLY over the cracked roots...of the Apple family tree…..-Gustave and Fancy each a hand of Fleur's, as she smiles widely-

Ahuizotl: I never thought I would be angry with this job, Garble...I thought this would be fun….wrestling is FUN! It's SUPPOSED to be fun, at least! There's just...so many HORRIBLE people on Lunacy, it makes this job harder and harder every week….why can't it just be some simple competition? WHY DO THEY HAVE TO TAUNT THE APPLES WITH THE DEATH OF GRANNY SMITH?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF TACTIC IS THAT?!

Garble: The fear tactic, my friend. And I'll agree with you once again, it's pretty disgusting….but Applejack can make Fleur eat every single one of her-well, FANCY's words at Retribution.

Ahuizotl: THAT is the match I want to see on the card, I don't give a damn what else Lunacy or Sublime have to offer...I want to see Fleur De Lis get EVERYTHING she deserves! She can spray a bottle, but can she throw a punch? I HIGHLY doubt it, and I'm not going to be able to stop laughing when I'm proved right…..

-Fleur blows a kiss at the crowd, as she and EGO exit the arena-

-Backstage, we see a splitscreen. On one side, we see Sunset Shimmer walking with her newly received Crater Chick championship. She stops to intimidate a random backstage crew member, and continues walking with a smirk on her face. On the other side, we see Fluttershy timidly walking, looking at the ground with her fists balled up as Rarity walks with her, offering encouragement.-

Ahuizotl: Speaking of horrible people...well, not Rarity or Fluttershy, but her opponent for tonight, Sunset Shimmer….

Garble: Before she challenges for the Crater Chick championship at Retribution, Rarity will manage her friend in action...NEXT.

*Commercial*

*You're too shy shy, hush hush...eye to eye…* -Cheers II: Electric Cheeraloo-

Madden: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Making her way to the ring, accompanied by RAARRITY! From Loneyville...weighing in at 140 POOOUNDSS...FLUTTTERSSHHHYYY!

-The calm and soothing guitar melody of Kajagoogoo leads Fluttershy and Rarity to the ring. Rarity tries to psyche up her friend, but Fluttershy seems to be nervous in front of this new crowd.-

Ahuizotl: Awww...poor Fluttershy. Why can't everybody on this damn show have a heart as big as this young lady's?

Garble: She is quite the sweetheart. But being sweet won't help her in the ring. She needs to be VISCOUS, ESPECIALLY if against an assassin like Sunset Shimmer, who can detect ANY weakness off of her opponent and EXPLOIT it. That's why Cadance is going to be out of commision for a while…

Ahuizotl: You're right again, boy. This is wrestling, not the Animal Sanctuary. Sunset deserves a few of her own bones broken, and it'd be quite the metamorphosis if the quiet and introverted Fluttershy would be the one to do it.

Garble: That would also make Rarity champion by default.

Ahuizotl: I don't think Rarity would take the victory that way, but she really wouldn't have any other choice.

*Now trending on Twitter: EGO, #WeWantKidneys*

*And now….it's all over now….* -BOOS! GET YOUR ICE COLD REFRESHING' BOOS HERE!-

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! From Canterlot, weighing in at 142 POOOUNDSSS...she is, the Craaatter Chick CHAAAMMPPIOONN...SUNSSSEEETTTT...SHIIMMEERRR!

Ahuizotl: Earlier today on Twitter, Sunset Shimmer described this as a "warm-up match", and if that doesn't give you an idea of just how self-entitled this woman is, than I don't know what will…

Garble: And NOTHING will take that away from Sunset Shimmer. As far as I know, she's ALWAYS been this way. And now that she has a title, and on Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis' good side, it's only to get worse from here on out. Fluttershy better watch herself, or else she'll be joining Cadance in that hospital…

Match 2: Sunset Shimmer vs Fluttershy w/ Rarity

-Sunset removes her title from her shoulder, leans down below the ropes, and flaunts the title right in front of Rarity's face-

Sunset: -whispering- You'll never have this….NEVER- -Sunset is caught off guard as Fluttershy rolls her up, her title being unintentionally german suplexed as the crowd cheers-

Ahuizotl: Oh! From behind! Fluttershy! -1…..2..- Fluttershy! -kickout- Damn! Sunset almost got too cocky for her own good!

-Sunset immediately rebounds in getting up on her feet, and launching her foot into Fluttershy. Her boot catches her in the sternum, and her shin smashes into Fluttershy's nose, causing a loud "SMACK!" The crowd OOOH's, as Fluttershy falls to the mat, clutching her face-

Garble: Sunset isn't playing around anymore...don't expect her to get caught off guard like that again….

-Sunset has a demonic scowl on her face, as she shoves her title into the referee, and stalks Fluttershy, stomping on her face, then her arms, then her legs, and then finally, into her stomach-

Garble: It's not looking good for Flutters….that roll-up may have been the only hope she had….

Ahuizotl: No! Come on, Fluttershy! Pull through!

-8 minutes later-

-Fluttershy has been battered all match, but she hasn't been beat yet. Sunset is currently wrenching on her neck, as she has Fluttershy trapped in a sleeper hold. Rarity is pounding on the mat, trying to liven up Fluttershy's offense-

Crowd: FLUTTERSHY! FLUTTERSHY! FLUTTERSHY! FLUTTERSHY! FLUTTERSHY!

Ahuizotl: This is what she needs! Give somebody the courage, and they WON'T let you down!

-Sooner or later, Fluttershy has removed herself from her seated position, and before we know it, she is sending elbows into the stomach of Sunset. They are slow, but with each one, Sunset's leverage slips less and less. Finally, with one last elbow, Fluttershy is free of her grasp, and she flips Sunset over and onto the map with a hip-toss. Rarity throws her arm into the air, and the crowd celebrates-

Ahuizotl: There you go! It's the simplest of moves, but it means SO MUCH right now!

-Fluttershy can't believe it. She is knees-down on the map, contemplating what to do next as Sunset stirs in the corner, in the position she had just had Fluttershy in. Fluttershy gets to her feet, soaking in the cheers of the audience. She looks around at them, and then at Rarity's approving smile. Fluttershy thrusts her index fingers into the air, and lets out a hushed yell of…-

Fluttershy: Yay! Yay! Yay!

Ahuizotl: Feed off the energy, Fluttershy! Feed off it, girl!

Garble: But she'd better hurry up, though! Sunset isn't going to just lie there for her!

-By now, Sunset is still stirring, though her back is against the turnbuckles, her arms draped over the top rope. Fluttershy runs at her, looking for a running dropkick, but Sunset avoids it at the last minute, causing Fluttershy's thighs to hit the top turnbuckle, and then the back of her head crashing into the mat. The crowd OOOH's, and Rarity folds her arms and puts her head on top of them-

Ahuizotl: God...did you hear that whiplash?

Garble: We all did….the crowd is so hushed now, they could hear a pin drop…

-Sunset wastes no time, forcefully picking Fluttershy up, and then quickly levelling her with The Last Sunset, and hooking her leg, glaring at Rarity mercifully as the referee begins to count-

-1….- Ahuizotl: Kick out, Fluttershy! Kick out! -2…..3…- DAMMIT!

Madden: Here is your winner...SUNSEEETT...SHIMMMERR….-crowd boos immensely-

-The referee hands Sunset her title, and then tries to raise her hand with it, but she jerks her hand out of his grasp-

Ahuizotl: What a valiant effort by Fluttershy….I know it's wrestling, but I can't help but feel for her….

Garble: This is why General Manager Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis chose her. She can adapt to any situation. Her back was against the wall, but she still got the job done. You can call her a bitch, you can call her whatever. She's a champion most of all, and with dominating performances like that, it's gonna be that way for a long time…..

-Sunset never takes her eyes off of Fluttershy. She drops her title on the ground and picks up Fluttershy once again, looking to hit her with The Last Sunset once again-

Ahuizotl: Goddammit go away! You won! WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?! JUST LEAVE!

-Rarity rushes in the ring, and that gesture is enough to send Sunset scurrying out of the ring with her title-

Ahuizotl: Thank God Rarity was at ringside, otherwise I was about to have another meltdown….

Garble: I'll admit, I admire the heart of Fluttershy, but she had no chance here. Rarity, however, is going to give Sunset Shimmer the fight of her life, I can tell!

Ahuizotl: I hope so...I really need something to believe in around here….

-Sunset stands on the ramp, brushing a strand of hair out of her mouth, and raising her title high in the air, much to the chagrin of the crowd-

*Backstage*

-Flash Sentry is pacing around the Gorilla Position. Sunset comes through the curtain, and he is there to greet her-

Flash: -smiles- Great job out there, Sunny…-he gets a kiss on the lips. He tries to push past her- I'll be right back…

Sunset: Whoa, whoa, baby….you're going out there? If you stay back here, we can have soooooooo much fun…-giggles and drapes her arms over his shoulders-

Flash: I would LOVE to right now, Sunny….but I've…..I've got to get things settled with Shining...I want to go out to that ring and talk all this drama out with him. You don't mind, do you?

Sunset: Oh...I understand COMPLETELY. You guys are basically brothers...you've been through SO MUCH….-thinks-...okay. I'll be at my locker room, awaiting your return…-gives him a wink, causing him to blush- Oh! But, before you go….mind if I give you my two cents?

Flash: Ummm..of course. What is it that you wanted to say?

-Sunset leans in Flash's ear, beginning to whisper-

Ahuizotl: Oh...what lies is this evil wench putting into his head now?

*Commercial*

-The broadcast returns with Flash Sentry already in the ring. His theme music is playing, and he has a microphone in his hand. He looks like he doesn't want to do this at all-

Ahuizotl: We are BACK on Monday Night Lunacy, and, as Flash Sentry said, he wants to talk to Shining Armor. Well, they've got a LOT to talk about…

Garble: The things people have been calling this man on social media are both hilarious and BARELY acceptable on national television, so I will only say them ONCE….-a minute of bleeped out Garble follows-

Ahuizotl: ….Damn.

Garble: I KNOW.

-Flash is about to speak, but the crowd interrupts him with chants of "YOU'RE A PU-SSY" and the trademark five claps which either strike the superstars' hearts with fear or joy.-
*Now trending on Twitter: Fluttershy, Sunset Shimmer, #CommentatorBros*

Ahuizotl: ...Yeesh. Does this man REALLY deserve this, Garble?

Garble: Well, let me ask you this, 'Zotl...would you give ME, YOUR partner up, for some pussy of your own?

Ahuizotl: Yeah. I don't even like you.

Garble: Then I guess my analogy doesn't work. HOW SHOULD I KNOW IF HE DESERVES THIS? I don't know! Does he rape children? Does he reuse coupons he gets in the mail? I don't know!

Ahuizotl: I don't know, either.

Garble: The point is, he's a pussy, but he get pussy. But he don't deserve the pussy he gets, cuz he IS a pussy. Do you follow?

Ahuizotl: …..I can RE-USE coupons?

Garble: -pats his shoulder with a light smile- I've taught you well….

Flash: ….This past month….hasn't been easy for me….I am so close, to losing SO MUCH…..-looks up with a bright smile-...I know how to fix this, though…..Shining Armor...my buddy, my partner...my BROTHER. Come out here-

*The sky turns to a different shade of blu-eee* -many cheers-

Ahuizotl: And here comes Flash Sentry's crestfallen tag team partner, who is ALSO close to losing so much.

Garble: The tale of the BroMans is a sad one, for sure. I hope they can patch things up, tonight. They're a great team, they've just got to get into the right mindset….

-Shining enters the ring, and Flash hands him his own mic-

Flash: ...Hey bro.

Shining: -pauses- ...Hey, Flash.

Flash: We both know that this needs to end….now.

Shining: -nods- Absolutely. Then I guess you know what needs to be DONE...right?

Flash: -smiles- ….Absolutely.

Shining: -breathes a sigh of relief- FINALLY! That bitch has had your balls in a vice grip for TOO long, man! Cut her loose!

Flash: -turns his head- ….Wait….what?

Shining: What the hell do you mean "what"? You know who I'm talking about! That succubus, Sunset! I told you from DAY ONE, dude, she was BAD NEWS for you. Now, it took you 8 years to listen to me, but better late than never, right?

Flash: ….I don't think we're at an agreement with what needs to be done…. -scowls-

Shining: WHAT. Do you MEAN?! She controls your EVERY. WAKING. MOVE! We used to hang out, we used to have FUN! But all she has to do is wave her big ol' tits in your face, and suddenly you're MESMERIZED! You are a fucking DOOR-MAT to her! -crowd cannot stop cheering-

Flash: -flies in Shining's face- SHE TOOK CARE OF ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD! When the wound in my leg wouldn't heal, she fixed the wound in my heart…-intense boos-

Shining: FUCK OFF with that CHEESY SHIT! She nurtured you just so you wouldn't LEAVE her ass!

Flash: Well then maybe you should've BEEN THERE FOR ME!

Shining: I was fighting for your right to even LOOK at that BITCH! I was fighting for THEM! -points at the crowd, earning so many cheers-

Flash: And Sunny was fighting for MY RECOVERY!

Shining: And now she's fighting for the destruction of our FRIENDSHIP! For the destruction of my relationship with CADANCE! WHY THE FUCK DID SHE GET PUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?! AND WHY ARE ALLOWING IT!? You used to think of her as a SISTER, man! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?! HUH?!

Flash: -gritting his teeth- I think….that everyone should mind their OWN DAMN BUSINESS! Me and Sunny are HAPPY TOGETHER! WHY WON'T YOU LET US BE!?

Shining: Because SHE won't let US BE! Why the FUCK can't you see this?!

Flash: I don't WANT to see it! You don't know Sunny like I do!...NONE OF YOU DO! She may do things that I don't approve of, but she's done so much for ME, and for OTHERS, that I DO APPROVE OF! I'm an asshole sometimes, too! EVERYBODY IS! THE HUMAN RACE...IS FILLED...WITH ASSHOLES! WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF MY GIRL LIKES TO SCREW AROUND?!

Shining: She's screwing around with the wrong dude...Cadance can't trust me anymore because of that bitch. Her mind games are RUINING MY LIFE!

Flash: Well maybe you shouldn't take life SO SERIOUSLY!

Shining: I have to take EVERYTHING IN LIFE SERIOUSLY WITH THAT SLUT ARO-

-Flash wallops Shining in the forehead with his mic, drawing blood a few seconds after contact-

Ahuizotl: WHAT?! NO! NO!

Garble: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

-The crowd unleashes every single boo in their system upon Flash, who is standing over his fallen friend, who has blood pouring out of skull by the milliliter.-

Ahuizotl: I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING!

-Flash slowly lowers himself over Shining's chest, and begins throwing down slow punches at him. The more he punches, the quicker and more ferocious they get. As do the boos-

Flash: SUNSET'S A SLUT, HUH?! I'M HER SLUT! AND I'M PROUD OF IT! -a flurry of more punches-

Garble: Finally the bastard admits it!

Ahuizotl: GET HIM OUT OF THE RING! THAT MUCH BLOOD SHOULDN'T BE LOST BY A HUMAN BEING!

-Flash ceases punching, and opts to stand over Shining Armor's lifeless body, who has one arm laid over his stomach, and the other out to the side. Blood continues to pour out of his head and flow like a waterfall down the side of his head and envelop the ring mat-

Garble: I think I'm gonna be sick….

-Sunset Shimmer sidles down to the ring, ringing in more boos from the EWF universe-

Ahuizotl: And there's the mastermind behind it all….how can she sleep at night?

Garble: She probably has dreams of how she can make people's lives MORE miserable….

-Sunset enters the ring, and surveys the damage that Flash has caused. She can't help but seductively grin at the pain that Shining Armor is going through. She takes Flash's fists, and she licks the blood clean off of them-

Garble: What the fuuuu…..

Ahuizotl: …..

-Flash bites his lip at this gesture, and then caresses the back of her with a hand. They then both lean in, and partake in an ultra sloppy tongue tennis match. Ahuizotl throws his headset on the ground in seething rage, as the crowd has not ceased booing-

Crowd: BUUULLL-SHIT! BUUULLL-SHIT! BUUUULLL-SHIT! BUUUULLL-SHIT!

Garble: I….I don't…..why? No, no, no, FUCKING WHY?

-Sunset and Flash continue to make out as Sunset's theme plays-

Crowd: SUNSET'S SLUT! SUNSET'S SLUT! SUNSET'S SLUT! SUNSET'S SLUT! SUNSET'S SLUT!

-Flash and his gal cease the spit-swap, allowing Flash to flip off the crowd. Sunset digs a hand down Flash's pants, barely able to contain herself-

Garble: Enough of this...this SHIT. 'Zotl….'Zotl! Come on man, talk to me….

-We go to commercial with the lasting image of Sunset dabbing her index finger into Shining's blood, like an artist getting ready to paint, and then having Flash suck the blood right off of it-

-The show returns with a shot of a disgruntled Garble. Next to him is Ahuizotl, who has his face buried in his hands-

Garble: We are back, and after some talk with my broadcast partner over the break, ummm….he's not going to put his headset back on...and um….to be honest I feel like doing the same thing right now….but...someone has to speak for Ahuizotl….so I will. Of course he's pissed about what we just saw in the ring. It was disgusting, it was….well it was borderline criminal. Aaaand it's no secret...we don't agree on much….but tonight, I'm really starting to see things from his point of view. That was….that was way more than I can take. And I'm...I'm really starting to see that this show...has a LOT of shitty people on it…...sooo...Ahuizotl is done for the night, and I don't blame him...but somebody has to call the action...and I guess that guy is me. Ummm...in closing…..this situation has gone too far. A man just assaulted his best friend, his figurative BROTHER. I….I don't see what this has to do with wrestling...AT ALL. I do not know what Shining Armor is going through….but I feel for him...I feel for Cadance...I feel for anybody that had to watch the BULLSHIT...that we just saw in the ring….and we-I….will give you an update on his condition...whenever I am told what is going on….because he lost a lot of blood, folks….maybe too much….I know….we as commentators….are supposed to be unbiased but let's face it both me and Ahuizotl have already broke that stupid rule. I've been singing Sunset's praises for a month now. She can do no wrong! She's an angel!...No. No. It's far from that…..and Ahuizotl sings the praises of the quote on quote "good guys" of Lunacy….and I...I just can't root for a woman like Sunset Shimmer after what she just did...so….I'll say this….Shining Armor may have shed many a blood drop….but I hope he has enough blood left in him, I hope his heart pumps enough...to the point where he can kick Flash Sentry's ass! And fuck up Sunset Shimmer, too! Who gives a shit? Women aren't pure….they're goddamn evil….-sighs heavily-...now let's go backstage to Silver Shill….

Silver Shill: -somberly- Thank you, Garble. Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing by with the NEW Carnage Champion...Rumble. -Rumble doesn't even look Silver in the eyes, as he is too busy taking selfies, surrounded by Flitter, who is laying her head against Rumble's shoulder, Cloudchaser, who is prepping her hair, and Bulk Biceps, who is looking menacing in the background with his arms crossed- Now, Rumble, tonight, we are going to find out who you will defend your title against in 3 weeks at Retributi-

Rumble: Shhhhh….shhh shhh shhh shhh shhhh….can you hear that? It's the sound….of nobody caring. -continues taking selfies- And why should anybody care? I took out Overuggo, and now the EWF fans...have the GORGEOUS champion they had all been hoping for. -chuckles- He didn't even DESERVE that title, based on the stupid decision to allow my Roses to be in the match with me.

Cloudchaser: -gasps- Speaking of which, that means me and Flitter have officially BEATEN that rusty hunk of metal. And now, we've got a match, and we're going to make you proud of us AGAIN, baby...just like last week. -Cloudchaser and Flitter each give Rumble a peck on the cheek, and walk off hand in hand, with Horsepower in tow-

Rumble: -smirking-...it's good to be the champ. I don't need to scout this match-pfft..I don't even need to WATCH this match...because now...being a champion...my selfies mean more than EVER….so why stop a good thing? Whoever wins, will just be the first in a category of MANY that will fall to...Prince Pretty…-walks off, still snapping selfies-

Silver: -looks at the camera- Flitter and Cloudchaser are in action….NEXT.

*Commercial*

-The show returns with Rumble's theme already playing as Flitter and Cloudchaser are already in the ring. Flitter applies lip gloss, and then bumps rumps with Cloudchaser-
*Now trending on Twitter: Sunset Shimmer (second time tonight), Flash Sentry, Cadance*

-Lyra and Bon Bon's theme music plays to much fanfare, mostly from the men-

Madden: Aaaaannddd their opponent! At a combined weight, of 260 POOOUNDS! LYYYYRRAAAAA….aaand BON BON!

Garble: Here's something to be happy about on Lunacy...LESBIANS! I still love 'em! Never gonna stop, and the fact that in this case, the two female lovers are also TAG TEAM PARTNERS is adorable and I can barely take it AGGGHHH.

-Lyra and Bon Bon jump on the apron and spread their legs over the middle rope. They are about to enter the ring, but they tease the fans by straddling the ropes and shaking their rumps-

Garble: And EVEN HOTTER is when the lesbians KNOW that their sexual orientation IS HOT!

-Lyra and Bon Bon are about to kiss each other, but Flitter and Cloudchaser run up and knee them both in the gut, sending them down to the floor-

Garble: Aww DAMMIT! WHY WOULD YOU RUIN IT?! -Bulk Bicepsr glares over at him, Garble gulps- I guess what they say is true….every rose DOES have its thorn…-Ahuizotl gives Garble a pained expression, before slamming his head against the announce desk. Garble is laughing- W-WHAT?! Even in silence you've got to ruin my good vibes!

-Synchronized, Flitter and Cloudchaser ram Lyra and Bon Bon's back into the barricade, and then toss them back in the ring, after which they high five each other-

Match 3: Flitter & Cloudchaser w/ Bulk Biceps vs Lyra & Bon Bon

-13 minutes later-

-Flitter is flat down on the mat, and Lyra is crawling towards Bon Bon, who has been looking to be tagged in for 7 minutes now-

Garble: Lyra's gonna make the tag! Flitter is in no condition to stop it!

-Cloudchaser realizes this, and enters the ring to stop the tag from happening. She runs at Lyra, who at the last second is able to stand on her feet, and avoid Cloudchaser, causing her to end up in the clutches of Bon Bon, who vaults Cloudchaser over the top rope and down to the floor-

Garble: Good wherewithal by Bon Bon to dispose of the gnat known as Cloudchaser….a SEXY gnat, at that. Gnat...that...I R RHYMING.

-Cloudchaser quickly stirs to her feet, but she isn't standing for long, as she is met with Bon Bon, who jumped off the apron and nailed Cloudchaser with a front-flip senton! The crowd cheers-

Garble: What a maneuver by Bon Bon! Wonder if she's that athletic in bed...oh well, she's lezzy so I guess I'll never know…

-In the ring, Lyra is applauding her girl's offense, when she is cut off by Flitter, who rolls her up-

-1…..- Garble: Flitter's got the tights! FLITTER'S GOT THE TIGHTS! -2…..3! Most of the crowd boos as Flitter quickly rolls out of the ring as Lyra puts her hands over her head in shock-

Madden: Here are YOUR WINNERS….Fliiiitterrr….and CLOUDCHASSEERRR!

-Cloudchaser, holding her back in pain, walks over to Flitter and is met with an armpit hug. A few seconds later, Bulk Biceps arrives to pick the ladies up in his arms-

Garble: Aww...I hate it when lesbians lose, but you can't really stick up for them here. Lyra shouldn't have taken her eye off of her opponent, no matter HOW bad Flitter looked out of it. Now I'm sure that Rumble is proud of his girls! If he isn't...taking selfies, that is…

-Bon Bon enters the ring to see Lyra giving her a "I'm sorry I disappointed you" look. Bon Bon debunks the feeling of disappointment as she gives Lyra a hug. The crowd cheers-

Garble: Awww! It's...so...beautiful! -sheds a tear- Lesbians never lose in the end! Hope is restored! Rome is rebuilt! 9/11 was a figment of our imaginations! Twist retired from pro wrestling! ALL the joyful things!

*General Manager's office…*

-Luna and Swirlinaitis are watching the show together. They give each other a look, Swirlinaitis nodding-

Swirlinaitis: Tonight's been a good show so far…

Luna: If we ignore the obvious...problem...on our hands.

Swirlinaitis: Ah, yes! I know what you're talking about...what are we going to do?

Luna: I believe we will have to handle that situation...next week.

Swirlinaitis: You're the boss. Got any ideas?

Luna: I've only got one, and it makes more sense than any other. I think we will both agree that it will be BEST….for BUSINESS….-Luna and Swirlinaitis chuckle, as we head back to the arena-

*I swear I won't tease you, won't tell you no lies….* -nobody even boos, they all just turn their backs-

Madden: It's a match…..

-Twist does things. They're horrifying. God does us a favor and skips through them.-

*I wanna rock! ROCK!...*

-All the fans turn their around in curiosity, as a giant boulder rolls down the stage at a rapid pace-

Madden: Aaaand her opponent! From BOULDER, COLORADO! Weighing in at ONE SOLITARY TON…..TOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

Garble: It's a…..rock?

-Tom leaps over the top rope, ready for battle-

Match 4: Twist vs Tom

-As soon as the bell rings, Tom literally BARRELS over Twist, crushing her with his full weight-

Garble: THE ROCKY ROAD!

-1….2…..3! The crowd erupts in cheers, as Tom wastes no time rolling backstage. The referee puts on surgical gloves and rolls Twist out of the ring-

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….TOOOOOOMMM!

Garble: What an IMPACTFUL debut by Tom! -Looks over at Ahuizotl- WHAT? That time the pun WASN'T intentional!

Crowd: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Couldn't agree more….maybe Twist will STAY AWAY after that 'Close Encounter of the Third Sediment'...-looks back at Ahuizotl- WHAT?! Yeah I know I'm on a roll! HAHA! GET IT?! Because Tom ROLLS? AHAHAHAHAHA-let's go backstage…

*Interview Area…*

Silver Shill: I am standing by with Bill Nyeker-

Bill: That's MR. Nyeker to you, Mr. Shill…..

Silver: Sorry...MR. Nyeker. Up next, you will face off against the man that interrupted your….lesson, last week...Damien Sandow. If you win, you will face Rumble at Retribution for the Carnage Championship. Your thoughts?

Bill: Mr. Sandow is EXACTLY what I didn't want to encounter during my teaching career. He says he's intelligent, but one does not simply walk into my classroom while I am teaching my students. He didn't have a Tardy pass! He's violated every rule imaginable! Not arriving to class on time, loitering his wardrobe around the room-OH! And lest not forget his REPULSIVE wardrobe to begin with! The robe was fine….it made him look sophisticated enough...but then...he shed his SKIN, and brought upon my retinas his TRUE self...him and those….ech….GIRLS, we shall loosely call them...he was with...well tonight, Mr. Sandow, I am enrolling you in my NEWEST course…-chuckles- My CRASH COURSE. And you're going to flunk, Mr. Sandow. Not only will I hit you...with the Polynesian War...but I will fire the first, and FINAL shot...in OUR war. It can't even be CALLED a war in that regard, now CAN it? I'm going to BLITZKRIEG you into OBLIVION, Mr. Sandow….and EXPEL you from my class...INDEFINITELY. And then, Mr. Rumble, since I guess you don't have a last name…-shakes his head- I'm going to deal with you! Didn't you know that there are no CELL PHONES allowed in class? Of course you didn't! You didn't listen to the rules I laid out! Nobody ever does! But after Retribution suppresses….ALL of my students will pay attention….to ME. -Smacks his yard stick against the wall, breaking it, and then stomping off grumpily. We go to commercial with Silver Shill shockingly looking at the many splinters on the ground-

Madden: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is to determine...the number 1 contender….to the CARRNNAAGGEE...CHAAMMPPIONNSHHIIPP! -Crowd cheers-

*The dreadful sound of a school bell rings through the arena. "CLASS….IS IN SESSION!" says the voice of Bill Nyeker as the generic rock music continues to blare in the background as the crowd boos*

Madden: Introducing FIRST! From CANTERLOT...weighing in at 224 POUNDS…..BIIILLL...NYYYEEEKKEER!

Garble: This upcoming match is going to mean so much for both parties involved. Mr. Nyeker and Damien Sandow have never even faced off before, but yet one of them is going to be the number one contender by the end of this match. Hell, NEITHER of these men have competed in a one on one match here in the EWF. I'd say everything is pretty much even….Mr. Nyeker automatically gets major props for actually wrestling in that Cardigan Sweatervest, though. It's so stylish!

*Hallelujah….Hallelujah…* -many cheers-

Madden: Aaaand HIS OPPONENT! From Palo Alto, California…..weighing in at 247 POUNDS….The Intellectual Savior of DEM ASSES…...DAAAMMIIEENN..SANDOOOOWWW!

-Sandow enters in the arena in his blue robe, with two different girls then last week, one of each by his side. He throws his arms into the air and looks to the ceiling, before pulling out a pair of sunglasses from his robe pocket. The girls dance around him, and he slides the sunglasses over his eyes while watching them with a "Dat Ass" face. He then disrobes to reveal his alternate attire from last weeks. He then dances a little with the girls before wrapping an arm around their forearms. Now he begins to walk to the ring, Nyeker scowling at him all the while-

*Now trending on Twitter: TOM, LyraxBonBon, Nyeker*

Garble: I'd love to hang out with this dude, but Mr. Nyeker assigned an essay and it's due by the end of tonight...UGH PEER PRESSURE IS BALLS. I'm gonna go do some pot.

-Sandow and his ladies are standing on the apron. The girls grab Sandow's hands, and with their help, as well as the top rope, Sandow is able to Skin-the-Cat and land in the ring. He takes off his chains and removes his jacket, and then does a Cartwheel, earning even more cheers from the crowd-

Garble: Gotta admit, though….that Cardigan Sweatervest ain't looking too good when pitted against that MAJESTIC cartwheel!

Sandow: -points out at the crowd- YOU'RE WELCOME! -grins as more cheers are heard-

Crowd: THANK YOU SANDOW! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU SANDOW! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU SANDOW! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Never has somebody had the crowd in the palm of their hand SO quickly...and effortlessly, really….

Match 5: Carnage Championship Number 1 Contenders Match: Damien Sandow vs Bill Nyeker

-14 minutes later-

-Sandow hits Nyeker with a Russian leg sweep, following through by immediately popping back up to his feet. He then throws a hand into the air, with just the index and middle finger outstretched, almost like he's ready to take a bow. He flips his head backwards with his eyes closed, once again looking up at the ceiling. He then turns his hand to where only the index finger is pointing behind him. Finally, he whirls his index finger around like a flesh twister, before dropping his elbow onto Nyeker's chest. The crowd golf claps in response-

Crowd: LIKE A SIR! LIKE A SIR! LIKE A SIR! LIKE A SIR! LIKE A SIR!

Garble: It starts off so elegant, but it ends up in PAIN! I don't know what that's called, but I bet Sandow has a fancy name for it….

-Sandow goes for a cover just as Rumble is running down the ramp-

Garble: Whoa, whoa! What is Prince Pretty doing here? -1….2…-Rumble drives his forearm into Sandow's back, breaking up the pin and causing the bell to ring- What?! I guess he just answered my question...but why the hell did he stop this match?

Madden: Here is your winner, by disqualification…..DAMMMIIENNN..SAANNDOOWW! -The crowd cheers, as Rumble can't believe that was the decision-

Garble: Well what was Rumble expecting exactly? Doesn't he know that's what happens if you interfere in a match?

-Sandow's hand is raised by the referee, as Nyeker looks pissed. Sandow looks a little upset that he won the match that way, as well. Rumble begins arguing with the ref-

*Only perfection around….* -the crowd boos as Star Swirlinaitis walks onto the stage, with a cheesy smile and a microphone in his hand-

Garble: Well, here comes Mr. Swirlinaitis, likely to fix the faulty finish of this match. A DQ win for either Sandow or Mr. Nyeker doesn't mean ANYTHING in their feud! It doesn't prove whose better…

Swirlinaitis: ….My name...is Mr. Star Swirlinaitis...I am the EXECUTIVE Vice President...of Talent Relations….that means that I monitor the talent. Anything a superstar does is reviewed by ME, and Rumble...what you just did was NOT becoming of a champion...do you just think you can PICK your own opponent? Well, you DON'T get to, ESPECIALLY now, because thanks to your cowardly shenanigans, you will defend your championship at Retribution...against BOTH Damien Sandow AND Bill Nyeker! -the crowd cheers, and Rumble seems to be much more pleased with this announcement. With a nod, Swirlinaitis exits stage right.-

Garble: I guess that's what Rumble wanted...maybe he feels like he should prove himself, and beating two competitors at once should do JUST that!

-As Rumble is about to leave the ring, he is pulled in by the hair by Sandow-

Garble: Uh oh! Sandow's got the champion!

-Sandow takes each arm and grabs the arm of Rumble's diagonal to him. He twists Rumble's arm across his neck whilst turning his own self around. He then drives Rumble into the mat-

Garble: Oh! A straightjacket neckbreaker! With velocity to Rumble….

-Nyeker tries to get the jump on Sandow as his back is turned, but Sandow turns around at the last second and TOSSES Nyeker over the top rope and down to the floor-

Garble: And Sandow sends his two opponents in 3 weeks SCATTERING! Will Sandow become the Carnage Champion at Retribution? The fans would sure love it, and I guess I wouldn't mind it much, either…

-Sandow grabs a hand of each of his girls, and places them next to each other. He kisses them both at the same time, and then raises them into the air with a big grin-

*Backstage…*

-Diamond Tiara is walking backstage with Turf and Silver Spoon, who have their respective tag title draped over their shoulder. The anonymous TMZ cameraman stops them to I don't know talk to them about our lord and savior Jaysus Crust-

Cameraman: Girls, the main event is next, but many are saying this match is only happening because you three, Turf in particular, is afraid of Scootaloo and Berry Punch.

Diamond Tiara: -scoffs- As IF. If we were afraid of those two misfits, then WHY would we be defending our titles against them?

Cameraman: ….Because that was the stipulation Turf had proclaimed if Berry Punch were to beat her...which she did.

Diamond: -as Turf grits her teeth. Diamond puts a hand on her shoulder- Easy there, girl...he's not worth the answer. Turf was concerned for my safety….I am a PRINCESS! I've NEVER touched or consumed that bile in my LIFE. So of COURSE that screw-up Berry Punch decides to spit it in my eyes! I had to have my eyes rinsed out with soap for over THIRTY MINUTES! I'm lucky I can even SEE today...I'd LOVE to get my hands on Berry PUNK, even more so than Scootaloo, and THAT'S saying something. I'm not a champion, though….yet, so Turf and Spoony are going to live vicariously through me tonight.

Turf: And we're gonna KICK. THEIR. ASS! Because we run this show, we're the H.B.I.C.'s, and nobody gonna fuck with us! -Turf shoves the camera out of her and her friends face, and walks off. The last thing we hear before going to commercial is the giggling of Diamond and Spoon.-

Garble: It's MAIN EVENT time here on Lunacy! But before the collision between our four rivals, it has been made OFFICIAL. At Retribution in three weeks, and this is quite fitting given the name of the pay per view, Shining Armor, who was DECIMATED earlier tonight, will get his hands, whether he wants to or NOT, on his former best friend, and the guy that left him in a pool of his OWN BLOOD...Flash Sentry. I am looking forward to that one, for MORE reasons than one...now, let's send it down to Madden at ringside, with the introductions for tonight's championship match…

Madden: -the bell rings- The following TAG TEAM contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! -crowd begins to cheer- Aaaand...is for the EWF...Chick...ComBOOOOOOOOO…...CHAAAAMMMPionSHIIIPPSS! -more cheers-

*Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true…* -mostly boos, though there are a few noticeable cheers-

Madden: Introducing FIRST! Accompanied by DIAAAMMOONND TIIIARA! At a combined weight, or 239 POOOOUNDS-they are...the EWF...CHIIICKK COMMMBOOOO CHAMPIONS! Turf! Aaaand SIIIILLVVERRR SPOOOONN!

-Diamond Tiara walks backwards down the ramp, pointing at her besties. Silver Spoon fakes giving high fives to the kids in the audience, earning more boos for her and her accomplices-

Turf: -pointing at her belt- Right here, bitches! All day!

Disgruntled fan: YOU SUCK, TURF! TWIST WOULD BE A BETTER CHAMPION THAN YOU!

Turf: AHAHA! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM? GUESS WHAT?...NOBODY GIVES A SHIT! GO COMPLAIN ONLINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! -the fan boos while throwing a thumbs down Turf's way. Turf just shakes her head as she jumps on the apron-

Garble: The polarizing Turf, as well as the cunning Diamond Tiara and….well, Silver Spoon. I'm not dogging on her, though...she's a champion, after all! Mostly because Turf carries her but NONETHELESS, Turf and Silver Spoon are about to have their first championship defense, and who better to defend the titles against then the team they were SUPPOSED to face at Proving Grounds….we all know what happened, though, no need to relay more pointless exposition, let's FIGHT!

-Diamond Tiara exits the right and pulls the steel steps back a little bit. She peeks in.-

Garble: What is Diamond looking at? -shrugs- Oh well, when you're that pretty I can't really question what you do….

-Diamond puts the steps back where they belong, giving her besties and nod and a smirk-

*Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky…* -MASSIVE cheers-

Madden: Aaaand THEIR OPPONENTS! First, from Loneyville! Weighing in at 118 POOOUNDS...SCCOOOOOOOOTAAAALOOOOOOOO!

-Scootaloo runs onto the stage, thrusting an index finger into the air. She, unlike Silver Spoon, jogs down the ramp, high fiving every fan on BOTH sides. She stops at ringside, and looks back behind her-

-As the familiar glass shatters, Scootaloo slowly looks back at Diamond and her posse with a big grin on her face. The crowd continues to cheer-

Madden: Aaaand HER PARTNER! From Loneyville! Weighing in at 125 POOOUNDSSS! BEEERRRYY...PUUNNCCHH!

-Berry walks down to the ring and stands by Scootaloo's side. They share a glance, before rushing into the ring and gaining the upperhand on Turf and Silver by taking them down. The crowd cheers-

Garble: -the bell rings as Diamond Tiara quickly exits the ring in shock- AND HERE WE GO! No time the titles to be raised! Scootaloo and Berry Punch FINALLY get their chance at the titles! -Berry stomps a Sandcastle in Silver Spoon as she lays seated in the corner- LOOK AT THEM GO! -Berry throws her "B.Y.O.B." jacket at Diamond, smacking her right in the face, and then throws Silver out of the ring. Scootaloo, meanwhile, sends the traditional 10 Punches on Turf's forehead. The crowd counts along-

Crowd: 1...2...3….4…-the punches now get faster- 56789 -the crowd cheers as Scootaloo stalls the final punch, but she never even throws the final punch. She instead substitutes it with a monkey flip! Turf flips over and lands on her stomach, reeling. The crowd cheers even more-

Garble: OH MY GOD! These two are wasting no time! I've always had doubts that they wouldn't be a cohesive unit, what with Berry's past, but I guess Scootaloo's gesture of taking away the alcohol last week was all these gals needed to be one!

-Turf gets to her feet, and is met with the middle fingers of Berry Punch. The crowd cheers even more as Turf is kicked in the chest, and then…-

*BAR TAB!*

Garble: WHOOOAAA! BAR TAP BY BERRY PUNCH! Are they gonna win it already?!

-Berry Punch nods her head back and forth furiously, before leaving the ring and stepping onto the apron-

Garble: One of them had to leave the ring, and I guess Berry Punch is going to let Scootaloo finish the job!

Crowd: SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO! SCOO-TA-LOO!

Main Event: Chick Combo Tag Team Championships: Turf and Silver Spoon w/ Diamond Tiara vs Berry Punch and Scootaloo

-19 minutes later-

-Berry Punch takes down Turf with an Uol Zseht press and a flurry of punches-

Garble: Berry Punch on fire, but when isn't she? Well, besides after the obvious fender bender…

-Silver Spoon enters the ring, and runs after Berry, who has backed up a little in anticipation of her. Berry moves out of the way, and Silver is sent right into a Over The Ropes Roundhouse Kick by Scootaloo! The stunned Silver Spoon is then thrown out of the ring by Berry. Scootaloo, sensing an opportunity, jumps over the ropes and lands in the ring. She measures Silver Spoon, and runs the ropes, before exiting the ring with an expertly done suicide dive, one that sends both Scootaloo and Silver over the barricade and into the crowd. The crowd is in a frenzy as they are now closer to the action than ever.-

Garble: Scootaloo and Silver Spoon clear the wall! What a move!

Crowd: THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: THERE it is! This crowd is right, though! I thought Scootaloo and Berry Punch had this match won RIGHT AWAY, but the champs have stayed in it! Both of these teams deserve to hold the gold after this encounter, but only ONE will prevail!

Berry: Ohhhh HELL...YEEAAHH! -the crowd cheers even more at Berry's enthusiasm, but their hearts stop as Turf rolls up Berry into a leverage pin-

Garble: Look at Turf -1…- How crafty! -2….Berry shoves Turf off of herself, causing Turf to collide with the referee, knocking both to the ground. Though, obviously, Turf is less fragile than the referee.- And the referee is down! ANYTHING can happen now, and with the resourceful Diamond Tiara at ringside, it SHOULD happen!

-Diamond quickly moves over to the steel steps, and pulls them out an inch. Her hand returns from the metal abyss with a beer bottle. The crowd OOOOH's as they know what that might spell…-

Garble: A beer bottle?! That's what Diamond Tiara was hoarding?! Has she been inspired by Berry Punch to start drinking?!

-As Turf gets up, she is met with her second Bar Tab from Berry Punch-

Garble: There it is again! Another Bar Tab! But there is NO..REFEREE.

-Berry curses at the lack of ref, and is soon blindsided by Diamond Tiara's beer bottle against the back of her head. The glass TRULY shatters, many pieces flying outside the ring and many other landing on the mat. Berry soon follows. The crowd erupts in boos and many gasp at the sight-

Garble: SHIT! Diamond Tiara just cold-cocked Berry Punch with her own beverage of choice! There's glass EVERYWHERE!

*Now Trending on Twitter: Rumble, Scootaloo, The Mean Girls*

-Diamond Tiara uses her boot to clear all of the glass out of the ring, as the crowd chants "FUCK YOU DIAMOND!" repeatedly After she does that, she turns Berry, who is bleeding from the back of her head, over onto the stomach, and then she drags Turf over and drapes her arm over Berry's chest. Finally, she shoves the referee into the middle of the ring before leaving it herself-

Garble: What a MASTERFUL plan by Diamond Tiara! But after all Berry Punch and Scootaloo's determination and SACRIFICE, is it REALLY going to end this way?!

-The referee slowly makes the three count. Though the crowd would rather boo the hell out of it than count along-

Garble: It's OVER….Turf and Silver Spoon are STILL champions….

-Scootaloo can only watch in awe as the bell is rung, JUST as she had climbed back over the barricade and was going to re-enter the ring…-

Madden: Here are YOUR winners...and STILL...the EWF...CHICK COMBO CHAMPIIOONSS….SILVER SPOON! Aaaand TURF! -the crowd continues to boo as Silver Spoon is pulled back over the barricade by Diamond Tiara, and brought back into the ring where she and Turf are reunited with their titles-

Garble: Both Turf and Silver Spoon can barely stand...they are GROGGY beyond ALL BELIEF...but despite all that...they are the champions….Berry Punch had the match won for her team, but the referee was knocked out. Unintentional or not, it was the scapegoat to the victory for the Mean Girls….

-Turf and Silver aren't even in the right state of mind to celebrate. Diamond has to have an arm of theirs draped over her neck so she can escort them to the back as the crowd will not let up with their boos. Scootaloo gets into the ring and notices the gash in the back of Berry's head. Her mouth is agape, as she puts her hands on her head, before checking on her unconscious partner-

Garble: Stuff like this is why Ahuizotl isn't commentating right now...I feel bad for Scootaloo and Berry Punch….they were SO close, but Scootaloo should've pinned Turf at the beginning of the match. For the first time in her life, Diamond Tiara touched alcohol….and that milestone SCREWED the team of Berry Punch and Scootaloo….they are a TRUE tag team, though, and I would expect them to get another shot at the titles VERY soon…

*Backstage…*

-The creepy cameraman dude is at it again, as he runs into a hooded Lightning Dust, who is walking with her face to the ground-

Cameraman: Lightning! You're here!

Lightning: -removes her hood, and looks up at the cameraman- ….of course I'm here. I've got some unfinished business to take care off...and it ain't gonna be best for business…..it's gonna be BEST...for ME. If you'll excuse me...I'm tired of talking…. -Lightning puts her hood back up, and walks past the cameraman-

*Commercial*

*Welcome to the danger zone!* -many cheers. Wanna know how many? MANY.-

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen….please welcome….LIIIGHTNNNING DUUUSSTTT!

Garble: This is sure to get heated….Lightning Dust says she is tired of talking, but she and Twilight have done nothing but talk for the past month. Lightning Dust already beat Twilight up...why would she do it again?

-Lightning Dust walks to the ring with her hood still up. She is no nonsense tonight, for sure. There is already a mic in the ring for her. She picks it up.-

Garble: I'm looking forward to this...you have no idea…

-Lightning cannot say anything yet as thousands of fans come alive with "LIGHT-NING-DUST" chants-

Lightning: -removes her hood to reveal a stoic expression- …. -she vows to the say nothing, instead motioning to the stage and doing the "bring it" hand movement-

*A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head….* -many boos. Wanna know how many? MANY.-

Garble: And here comes the Eternal Women's Champion, and likely the most hated in controversial figure in this company right now….I'd love to know what Twilight thinks about all of this…

-Twilight and Spike are led to the ring by a horde of security. Twilight has a saddened expression on her face as she, her brother, and her backup enter the ring. Lightning Dust is given another mic, and she shoves it into Twilight's chest. The crowd cheers at the simple gesture as security are looking like they want to contain Lightning Dust. Twilight waves them off.-

Twilight: It's alright….I don't need the protection...really. -The security shrug, and leave the ring, though not the arena. They file around the ring like lumberjacks.- ….Hello, Lightning Dust…

Lightning: You're lucky you've got protection tonight, ya know...otherwise I woulda beat your ass again….-cheers-

Twilight: -Winces- Lightning, please...there is no need for that….we can be civil about this. I'm not here to fight you!

Lightning: Yeah, cuz you're too much of a coward…

Twilight: We were both in the fight of our lives just 8 days ago….you earned my respect, absolutely….I can see why you are upset, I can see why you attacked me last week, and I'm not mad about it. I should of saw it coming, really...but if you would just allow me to speak my mind, like I was about to last week-

Lightning: And why do I owe you your own podium, huh? After what you did to me you're lucky I don't attack you everywhere you go! -cheers-

Twilight: ...These people love you, it's plain to see...and I believe I know why...you have a fire inside you to be the best-

Lightning: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DO! And I WAS the best! I had the belt to prove it! And you STOLE IT FROM ME!

Twilight: ...and you just brought up my next point. These people are going to love you even more now that you are prime and ready to FIGHT for this title back...you were wronged, Lightning Dust...these people are pulling for you…

Lightning: What the hell are you bringing this up for? I know I have fans! I'm not deaf! It's not about them right now….it's about me TAKING that title from you, like you took it from me!

Twilight: -frowns-...you were wronged, Lightning Dust….but NOT by me…

Lightning: I know that! I never said YOU wronged me, but you were still in on it, dammit! Luna is the puppet master, I get it! But you said before that you fight for THEM -points at the crowd- and it was all a LIE! YOU FIGHT FOR LUNA! -cheers- That's why these people boo you! They saw through your holy shell FROM THE BEGINNING...just like I did!

Twilight: -cries out- You don't understand! I had nothing to do with this!

Lightning: Keep the lies coming, you fucking SINNER!

Twilight: No! They're not lies! I was KNOCKED OUT when Princess Luna hit you with that title! When I woke up...I was champion….I don't remember how it even happened! I had to watch the match back because I kept getting dirty looks after I won, and after I did...I felt SICK to my STOMACH….I still do…

Lightning: Well isn't that just SO SAD? I hope your vomit missed your master's dress shoes….-crowd OOOH's-

Twilight: I'm being serious, Lightning...you didn't deserve what happened to you at Proving Grounds…

Lightning: You're DAMN RIGHT I DIDN'T! I guess it's MY fault for speaking the truth! I knew from the VERY beginning that you were a hypocritic slimeball! Anyone that preaches that "I am fighting for the EWF universe" bullshit IS! -cheers-

Twilight: I am NOT a hypocrite! These fans have the right to boo me if they please, but I will NEVER give up on them!

Lightning: Thank God they have you then to shovel all this bullshit down their throats! The point blank facts are that you were JEALOUS of me! I was the first champion in this company's history, and YOU wanted that SOOOOOO BAD! So bad, in fact, you were willing to give in to ANYBODY...and Luna and that dickhead Swirlinaitis were those people! It makes perfect sense, really! You fed these people lies, and those two suited shits fed YOU lies! All three of you combined make one big LYING BUFFET! Together, along with your shitbird brother -crowd OOOH's- you fucked me over! ADMIT IT! ADMIT THAT YOU FUCKED ME! ADMIT THAT YOU FUCKED ME! -Twilight remains silent with her mouth agape- I should've known it was going to happen someday! It was only a matter of time! ….Let me tell you a story, Sparkle...ya know, let's just keep talking! That's what I'm known for, right? MY BIG FUCKING MOUTH?! NOTHING ELSE BUT THAT! I came to this company, because for just ONCE, I wanted to be in the spotlight! All my life! All my FUCKING LIFE, I've been put on the sidelines! ALL MY LIFE, others were treated as superior to me! You say that you RESPECT me?! First off THAT'S BULLSHIT! -crowd cheers- Secondly, let me tell you who I respect, and it just now came to me! When I was a little Dust-Bunny, there was ONE girl who the coaches picked to play in a game over me...ALWAYS. Because of her, I was NEVER in the games! I was a god-damn SEAT WARMER! You know her quite well. Her name is….is Rainbow Dash…-crowd cheers-...we were friends for a long time, until I wasn't comfortable with her besting me at every waking turn! Sure, she was competitive, but she played sports for FUN! Soon, I was more interested in WINNING! With Rainbow Dash on the team, we ALWAYS won! Great, right? It's what I WANTED! But I soon realized….that I wanted ME to be the one that won all these games, and NO ONE else! It would've helped if I was at least ON THE FIELD, but I never was! Rainbow Dash everything! It made me DESPISE that her! And that's why I was SO EXCITED when I heard that we would be on separate brands, because FINALLY, I'd have my chance to show how GOOD I was! And maybe it was destiny, but at Proving Grounds, we were BOTH in high profile...CHAMPIONSHIP matches. Both of us were representing our brands! What happened? We both LOST…...Rainbow Dash NEVER loses! NEVER! But you know what she can be proud of, Twilight? That she lost with HONOR! She fought to the VERY END! She withstanded the Ursa Lock, but in the end, she had to tap out…..Trixie brought the best out of her, and vice versa….the same could be said for us, Twilight….we fought for our lives….but again….Rainbow Dash didn't STOOP SO LOW to try and pull out the victory! She gutted it out, and she came up short….THAT's what I respect, Twilight! That's how you EARN respect! I RESPECT Rainbow Dash, despite all the shit that's happened! Because she never played politics to get me to sit out those games...she was just...well, BETTER than me, I'll say it...and she's BETTER than you, Twilight Sparkle! -crowd cheers immensely-

Crowd: RAIN-BOW-DASH! RAIN-BOW-DASH! RAIN-BOW-DASH! RAIN-BOW-DASH!

Lightning: You sold yourself out for that title! You took my DREAMS away from me! Because of YOU...I have NOTHING now! AGAIN! I HAVE NOTHING AGAIN BECAUSE OF YOU! And for that...I could, and will NEVER..respect someone like YOU! And maybe you DO deserve that title...I mean, I haven't won a match SINCE I won that title! You pinned me back to back in tag team matches….you had my number….and maybe you WOULD'VE kicked out of that roundhouse kick, and maybe you WOULD'VE beaten me by yourself! Had you have done that, I wouldn't have attacked you last week...I would have shaken your goddamn hand and told you that I DID respect you...but it didn't go down like that….and now we'll never know….ALL I KNOW is that I have a rematch clause, and I'm going to KICK. YOUR. ASS! -cheers- AND TAKE BACK WHAT'S MINE!

Crowd: LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST!

*Now trending on Twitter: Rainbow Dash, Lightning Dust, Twilight*

Twilight: -nod her head- Lightning Dust...I would expect nothing less...you truly are an AMAZING competitor….and you have the crowd on the edge of their seat with every word you utter...it's incredible, really….I don't know how I can get you to believe me, but I guess it never is that easy….and you're right, you DO have a rematch clause…..but you don't need it….

Lightning: ...What the fuck are you talking about?

Twilight: …..I am innocent in this situation….I was confident I could beat you, but you were definitely on the verge of winning, I won't deny that….everything that happened….was WRONG. I don't feel right wearing this championship, and that's because I haven't EARNED it….-she lays the Eternal Women's championship down in the ring-...I would love to have another match with you...but not as the Eternal Women's Champion….because truthfully..the champion….is YOU.

-Lightning Dust isn't buying this as all-

Lightning: Oh no! You're not injecting me with that pity shit! No matter how it happened, you won the title, and you're going to carry it around until I beat you for it! Every time you look at it, I want you to remember the way you won it, and I want you to FEEL BAD...then I want you to think about the savage beating I'm going to give you...a beating from which you will NEVER recover from….no, I'm not taking this damn title...at least not yet. For it will be INFINITY times SWEETER to beat your ass as champion than to beat your ass with ME as the champion! Because that's how revenge works, Twilight Sparkle….

Twilight: -shakes her head- I'm not leaving this arena with that title….my victory was tainted...I know that, Lightning! -with tears in her eyes- P-PLEASE...just TAKE IT!

Lightning: Awww….alright, I'll take it….-Lightning picks up the title, and takes a long look at it. She then looks at Twilight with a smirk, which soon turns into a sour scowl. Without another second of hesitation, Lightning Dust RAMS the title into Twilight's skull, sending the fans into a frenzy, Twilight to the mat unconscious, and the security barrelling back into the ring-

Garble: Lightning Dust strikes again! Twilight didn't see it coming!

Lightning: -smirks at the security- What? I took it….and I gave it back. -she turns her attention to the fallen Twilight- See you at Retribution….-Lightning drops the mic and leaves the ring.-

Garble: Did you hear that?! The match has been made! Lightning Dust vs Twilight Sparkle...for the Eternal Women's championship at RETRIBUTION! It doesn't get any better than that!

-Lightning climbs over the barricade, and makes her way through the crowd, almost all of the fans she passes patting her on the back as she walks up the aisle of stairs-

Garble: Lightning Dust is out for revenge! An impassioned rant by the former champion, and then the declaration of WAR with the title belt! That's all we have time for tonight on Lunacy….goodnight, everybody...from Loneyville!

-Lightning Dust stands at the top of the stairs, just about every fan chanting "LIGHT-NING-DUST" amongst her. The show ends with Spike checking on his sister, and about 20 security guards being fired...not really on that last one.-

?: Would you like to hear a secret?... -heavy breathing, followed by the guitar riff from last week is heard as the mysterious lady with the snake-skin fedora makes her presence known once again. She is a bit pudgier than when we last saw her. We see her walking down a small hill surrounded by trees, as a man hangs from a bent tree in the background. We cut to the camera shakily showing us a wide shot of a lake. Next to it on the left is a blue gazebo, and on the right is land with many trees. We then see a creepy upclose shot of the fedora lady. She is grinning eerily. The camera is looking up at a giant tree, it slowly pans forward for a few seconds before showing another shot of the fedora lady, this time we can see from her stomach up. She is wearing what we can assume is her every day clothing. We are then shown about 15 fire ants scurrying without any sense of direction by their lone home, a hole in the ground. We can also hear them moving. The camera is now upside down, as we see the fedora woman standing on a rock in the middle of the swamp.- Parents I need you to stop LYYYIINN' to ya CHILDREEENN..and telling them..that monsters, are not real... -she is speaking these words as she is still standing on the rock, though the camera is right-side up this time.- I swear, man...monsters ARE real…-she calls from the rock. We see the rocking chair from last time. It rocks until the fedora lady appears in front of it, though it continues to rock as she flashes in and out of the shot. We see a small rocking horse for little girls rocking on its own, as well. Then we see the closeup of a piggy bank, and then a "HAZARD" sign, though most of the words are cut off, so we do not know what the "HAZARD" is. The camera slowly moves through the shot, and then we see a SUPER close-up shot of just the fedora lady's eyes. The camera then shakes as we see a shot of the swamp at night time. We see the woman with the sheep-mask walking through some tall grass. She is wearing her blue outfit instead of her green one, and she stops walking to look at the camera. A second later, she is gone, but she shows up directly in front of the camera another second later. We then see a close-up on the lady with the flannel. The camera zooms out quickly, and we can see that she is sitting in a cabin. The camera travels down an empty, yet long road, collecting a few bugs on it along the way.- And who am I? -it skips around her speech- What am I?... -skips again- I'm frightening-I'M EVERYTHING! -the fedora lady is laughing, her face covered with her own purple hair. The camera shakes around rapidly as she turns to her side, still smiling the same way. We see the side of a blue car, with blurry other cars driving behind it. The next shot we see a blurry American flag flowing in the wind in the back window of the same blue car. We see the fedora lady looking ahead, a blank expression on her face.- I'm the dirt and grass beneath ya toes -skips- A boxcar with a pack'a matches -skips again- I'm the air that's all around you! -the camera spins around, looking up at the air-

"He won't see the sun again...for years to come...he's broken out in love…"

-We see the woman in flannel and many other men and women walking up to the fedora lady, who is standing above them on a giant rock. They all touch their hands against hers. We get a close-up of the fedora lady's face as she rocks away in the rocking chair. The camera then slowly moves up as we see the shot of all of the fedora lady's followers' hands reaching up to touch the fedora lady, with the fedora lady's arms outstretched. She is looking up into the clouds, her back turned towards the camera. The camera then switches to the front side, and to the back again, as the fedora lady lowers her arms. We see a quick shot of a white coffee mug that reads "World's Greatest Father", and then another quick close-up of the fedora lady with a wide open smile. We then see a tiny plastic figurine of a little girl carrying a basket, though what is in the basket cannot be seen. We cut back to the woods, where the flannel lady is once again staring ahead at the camera. She is far away from it, though. Everything gets brighter, but then goes back to its original color as the woman in her blue vest walks into view.-

?: All this is a riddle.. -skips- everything all around you is a riddle…-skips again- Things may appear different than they really are... -she preaches- such is the mystery..of me…open to the world's interpretations..-the fedora lady dances around as the man on the tree watches her intently. The fedora lady swings around a tree limb that is stuck in the ground. We see a shot of a black table with a massive spiderweb on the bottom of it, and then a shot of just one eye of the fedora lady staring back at us. The rocking horse is now white, as opposed to it being brown earlier. The fedora lady pats a man's head as she walks around her followers, telling them what she is also telling us. We see a wide-shot of a raggedy old shed, and then another shot of the fedora lady creepily grinning. We see a brass bed-rest with a man's face, also made from brass. The next shot of the fedora lady doesn't have her grinning, but simply staring at the camera. We see an old gray radio, and then the camera quickly pans diagonal with another shot of an American flag. The fedora lady now is standing by a tree. One of her hands is on the tree trunk, while the other swings freely in the wind with her back turned. We then see the front side of her, where she once again has her arms outstretched and is looking down. After a quick flash, she is now looking up at us. Another flash and we see only her extended right arm, and then we flash back to her looking at us.-

"Broken out in looove….."

-The "HAZARD" signs now shows the word "DANGER" under it, and then one final shot of the fedora lady looking at us, before the screen goes black, and we hear her giggling, which soon turns into an echoed cackle. We now see her cackling, followed by quick shots of the lady in the sheep mask staring at us, the flannel woman staring creepily off in the distance, and the fedora lady continuing to cackle as she rocks in her rocking chair. Another shot of the flannel woman, though this time the camera is more zoomed in on her mouth, and then back to the fedora lady cackling. When she stops cackling, we see the sheep lady to her right, and the flannel lady to her left. The fedora lady isn't cackling anymore, but we can still hear her cackle in the background as she continues to rock with a straight look on her face with her two main associates guarding her. The screen goes black again.-

?: ….We're coming….

*One hundred percent reason to remember the name!*
-The usual firework display goes off, dazzling the crowd-
Dr. Whooves: Welcome all to another addition of Friday Night's most exciting show, EWF Sublime! I'm Dr. Whooves alongside the less than sane Discord.
Discord: On the contrary good doctor, I'm quite sane, it's everyone else who's crazy.
Dr. Whooves: Speaking of crazy, last Sublime had it's share of shockers. Most notably the controversial ending to the main event, the number one contender's match for the World Fighter's Championship between Pinkie Pie and Colgate ended in a double count-out!
*I'm the Cult of Personality*
Discord: Sublime general manager Celestia is making her way to the ring now, I'm sure she'll have a fun solution to this.
Dr. Whooves: Perhaps she'll add yet another good match to tonight's impressive line-up. We have the number one contender's match for the International Championship, former friends Octavia and Vinyl Scratch facing off in the main event, among others.
Celestia: Last week's main event was an excellent match, one of the best we've had if not the best, but it seems the ending was rather controversial. Both contenders were counted out, and no winner was declared. So that leaves the question, who is the number one contender? I could schedule a re-match, but I have a solution that will make things more exciting. We're going to say that both Pinkie Pie and Colgate won, and both have the right to fight for the world title. At Retribution, Trixie will defend the World Fighter's Championship in a triple threat match!
-Loud Cheers-
Dr. Whooves: What an announcement to start the night, a triple threat match for the world title at Retribution, incredible!
-Celestia makes her way out of the ring-
*Majestic Arabian Music*
Haakim: إعطاء الترحيب الحار جلالة كريمة، تمثل المنزل الخامس من المجذاف عظيمة السعودية، أميرة! (Give warm welcome to her gracious majesty, representing the fifth house of the great Paddle Arabia, Amira!)
-Amira walks down to the ring in royal stride-
Baritone: And introducing her opponent, from Charleston, standing five foot, six inches tall, weighing 128 pounds, Sweet Tooth!
Match 1: Amira vs. Sweet Tooth
*7 minutes later*
-Amira hits the Dust Devil and goes for the pin-
*1...2...3!*
Haakim:ومرة أخرى منتصرا مرة واحدة، وصاحبة الجلالة اريما! (And victorious once again, her majesty Amira!)
Dr. Whooves: Sublime's foreigner is two for two. Looking very impressive so far.
Discord: She hasn't faced a real challenge yet. We'll see what she's really made of then.
*Commercial*
-The camera cuts back to Celestia's office, where she's typing something on her computer and giggling, she's interrupted when the Spa Twins come walking into her office-
Celestia: What is it you two? I'm very busy...
Aloe: That title match at Proving Ground was completely unfair, we should be Sublime Tag Team Champions, but Beauty Shot escaped on a technicality.
Celestia: And?
Lotus: And?! You're the general manager, you can give us a rematch!
Celestia: I'm not going to just "give" you a rematch. You want to try again, fine, but you're going to have to fight for it. You're going to fight against the Ghost Girls later tonight, beat them and you'll have the match you want at Retribution.
Aloe: Good, and if we win we want the title match to be No-DQ, so Beauty Shot can't weasel out again.
Celestia: Sure you can handle it?
Both Twins: YES!
Celestia: Fine, fine, fine. You got what you want, now leave me in peace.
-The Spa Twins happily leave Celestia's office-
Dr. Whooves: The Spa Twins might be getting a chance to try again, but I have to wonder if they'll be able to outwit Beauty Shot. Photo Finish and Pretty Vision have pretty well decimated the tag team division.
Discord: Survival of the fittest as they say.
Dr. Whooves: More like survival of the dirtiest.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: The following match is scheduled for one-fall and will determine one of the participants in the Number one contender's Fatal-Four-Way at Retribution, approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, five inches tall, weighing in at 130 pounds, Sweetie Belle!
Dr. Whooves: Sweetie Belle has been sitting in obscurity since her defeat by Babs Seed a few weeks back, winning here could put her in the limelight.
*You see me flying through the sky, I see you down below as you walk on by*
Baritone: And her opponent, from Cloudsdale, weighing 125 pounds, standing five foot, six inches tall. Rainbow Dash!
Discord: Good luck to Sweetie Belle, looks like she'll have to try and take the limelight away from Rainbow Dash.
Match 2: Fatal-Four-Way #1 Contender's QM, Sweetie Belle vs. Rainbow Dash
*11 minutes later*
-Rainbow Dash goes for a Sonic Raindrop, but Sweetie Belle rolls away at the last second, as Rainbow Dash gets up Sweetie Belle grabs her at hits a Belle Ringer-
Dr. Whooves: Could Sweetie Belle make the upset?
*1...2.-Kick-out!-*
Discord: So close but yet so far.
Dr. Whooves: Sweetie Belle's been putting up a fair fight, but it's hard to match the determination of Rainbow Dash.
*3 minutes later*
-Rainbow Dash hits a Rainbow Bash and climbs the turnbuckle again, this time successfully hitting the Sonic Raindrop-
*1...2...3!*
Baritone: And here's your winner, Rainbow Dash!
Dr. Whooves: And Rainbow Dash wins a spot in the big Fatal-Four-Way at Retribution. Two spots left.
*Commercial*
-We see Daring Do walking backstage, proudly carrying her International title belt over her shoulder, we she comes face to face with Commander Hurricane-
Daring Do: Well, if it isn't Commander Angry-Face. Come to scream in rage about your defeat?
Commander Hurricane: Silence peasant, before I tear you down where you stand.
-Daring Do rolls her eyes-
Commander Hurricane: Your victory at Proving Grounds was nothing more than a mere fluke, I am more deserving of that title, and I'm going to prove it. I demand a battle against you at Retribution.
Daring Do: Demand all you want, it's not up to me, Celestia's already scheduled a number one contender's match. And even if it was up to me, I wouldn't just give you a title shot.
Commander Hurricane: We'll see about that...
-Commander Hurricane storms away-
Discord: It seems the Commander has something delightfully devious in mind.
Dr. Whooves: I don't know what's scarier. Whatever she might be planning, or the fact that you'll probably like whatever it is.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: The following match will determine the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, weighing a combined 280 pounds, the Ghost Girls!
*Now Trending on Twitter: Commander Hurricane, Rainbow Dash, #WhatCelestiaDoesOnTheInternet
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 258 pounds, the team of Aloe and Lotus Blossom
Dr. Whooves: It's certainly been a rough ride for the Spa Twins on Sublime. Both of the sisters have had considerable let-downs in singles competition, and to this point they've not won a single tag-team match of their own accord. They really need a solid victory to prove themselves.
Discord: They might just do it, as long as they don't break any nails.
Match 3: Sublime Tag Team Championship Number One Contenders' Match, Spa Twins vs. Ghost Girls
-9 minutes later-
-Inkie Pie and Blinkie Pie have Aloe in position for a tag team finisher, but Aloe manages to kick high and make contact with Inkie's face, causing her to fall down to the floor, meanwhile she knees Blinkie in the gut and hits *Redacted* on her-
Dr. Whooves: Some solid flexibility and countering skills by Aloe.
*1...2...3!*
Baritone: And here are your winners, the number one contenders for the Sublime Tag Team Championship, The Spa Twins, Aloe and Lotus Blossom!
Discord: What do ya know, no nails where broken.
Dr. Whooves: You just can't drop the nail thing can you?
Discord: Not as long as it amuses me.
*Commercial*
-The camera cuts backstage again where Checkmate and Davenport and relaxing in the lounge, Checkmate playing Chess Titans on his laptop while Davenport is watching some advertising channel on TV-
-Thunderlane casually strolls in-
Thunderlane: Shouldn't you two be, training or something?
Checkmate: I am training, I'm training my mind. Nothing makes you smarter like owning the computer at Chess Titans.
Thunderlane: -Leans down and looks at the computer screen- On level 2?
Checkmate: So what? I'm taking it easy today. I usually play at Level 11.
Thunderlane: It only goes up to level 10...
Checkmate: Who asked you anyways?! Get outta here!
-Thunderlane smirks and walks over to see what Davenport is watching-
Thunderlane: Dude...I've been looking at the screen for about five seconds and I'm already falling asleep.
Davenport: I'm trying to find new advertising strategies for my store.
Thunderlane: You're a professional wrestler now, and you still care about some furniture shop?
Davenport: I like having multiple sources of income.
Thunderlane: -Shaking his head and walking away- This company is full of weirdos...
Dr. Whooves: Thunderlane has a point. It's almost hard to believe that Sublime is being represented by a team named "Couchmate"
Discord: Pfffttt, you think we got weirdos? They drink BLOOD on Lunacy!
Dr. Whooves: Oh yes, that incident with Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer, that was bloody horrifying. No pun intended. Here's a replay for those who missed it, warning, it's not for those with weak stomachs.
*Replay from Lunacy*
Discord: *Shudders* I used to think that no taste was too exotic, but those two have changed my mind.
Dr. Whooves: It certainly can't be healthy.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: The following match is scheduled for one fall, now approaching the ring, weighing 210 pounds and standing six foot, two inches tall, from Loneyville, Ace!
Dr. Whooves: Here comes Ace, making his debut on Sublime, but he's not the only one making his first appearance. Rumor has it a new male superstar has been signed.
-Ace walks down the ramp, occasionally tossing tennis balls for audience members to catch-
*WOO WOO WOO! You know it! Oh Radiooooo*
Baritone: And his opponent, from Long Island, New York. Weighing 214 pounds and standing six foot, two inches tall, Zack Ryder!
-Ryder makes his way towards the ring, giving off his trademark hand signal and giving high fives to several audience members-
Match 4: Ace vs. Zack Ryder
*6 minutes later*
Discord: Ryder has been dominating this match, apparently they know how to fight in New York.
-Zack Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on Ace and makes the pin-
*1...2...3!*
Baritone: And here's your winner, Zack Ryder!
*Zack Ryder gets on the turnbuckle and does his signature pose*
Dr. Whooves: The Long Islander has certainly made a strong debut, we'll see in coming weeks if it's just beginner's luck.
*Commercial*
-Octavia and Blueblood are walking down the halls backstage-
Octavia: I can handle Vinyl. You don't really need to waste your time accompanying me.
Blueblood: All just a precaution. Vinyl Scratch is a brutish woman, can't risk her doing something uncouth and costing you the victory you rightfully deserve.
Octavia: Very well, where's Hoity?
Blueblood: Hmmm...I haven't seen him actually, perhaps he's in his room. You continue on, I'll find him.
-Blueblood makes his way to Hoity's room, and knocks on the door only to receive no answer-
Blueblood: This is all very strange...-He opens the door and gasps in shock, laying on the floor is Hoity Toity who is knocked out, bleeding, and covered in various pastries- Oh good lord...the crazy baker got to him, I better find help.
-Blueblood turns around and comes face to face with the Underbaker-
Blueblood: AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!
Underbaker: Hello Blueblood, surprised?
Blueblood: W-What? Me? Not at all. I knew you were planning to ambush me this whole time!
Underbaker: What you should of known, is to not cheat the Under Baker. For now I want revenge, and you will feel my pre-baked wrath. I will destroy your pathetic tag team partner at Retribution, and though you may have a match at the time, you will not escape me, next week on Sublime's main event the entire E.W.F Universe will witness as I bring you down, and you will REST...IN...PASTRIES!
Blueblood: I refuse your challenge!
-Underbaker grabs Blueblood and hits the Baker's Dozen-
Underbaker: I didn't say you had a choice.
Dr. Whooves: It seems Canterlot Class might soon regret cheating the Underbaker as they did last week.
Discord: They were just being opportunistic, it's not their fault has a temper.
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and will determine the number one contender for the International Championship. Introducing first from Loneyville, weighing in at 153 pounds, standing five foot, seven inches tall, Cheerilee!
*Redacted Theme*
Baritone: And introducing her opponent, Approaching the ring, from Loneyville, standing five foot, seven inches tall and weighing in at 150 pounds, Nurse Redheart!
Dr. Whooves: Both of these two women have been suffering from a long losing streak, but a win here could open up the path to a comeback.
Match 5: International Championship Number One Contender's Match, Cheerilee vs. Nurse Redheart
*9 minutes later*
-Cheerilee hits In-Ring-Suspension on Nurse Redheart and makes the pin-
*1...2...3*
Baritone: Here's your winner, the number one contender for the International Champ-
-Commander Hurricane enters the arena and comes rushing into the ring-
Dr. Whooves: What the?! What's Commander Hurricane doing out here?!
Discord: Taking care of business.
-Commander Hurricane immediately starts attacking Cheerilee, taking her to the ground and punching her repeatedly, Nurse Redheart pulls Commander Hurricane off only to be knocked out after getting hit by a Legion by Hurricane, Hurricane slips out of the ring and gets a steel chair, re-entering with it-
Dr. Whooves: Oh no...Commander Hurricane has evil intentions here.
-Commander Hurricane starts hitting Cheerilee with the steel chair repeatedly-
Dr. Whooves: An absolutely brutal attack, there's no reason for this! No bloody reason what so ever!
Commander Hurricane: You think you can take my spot?! HUH?! You can't take what's mine! I will destroy Daring Do and win the International Championship! NOT YOU! -Continues beating with chair-
Discord: This IS getting ugly...maybe someone should call security.
-Commander Hurricane moves Cheerilee onto the announce table, puts on her metal braces and then climbs the turnbuckle-
Dr. Whooves: For the love of God, the woman's had enough!
-Commander Hurricane dives off the turnbuckle and hits Cheerilee metal braces first, putting her through the table-
Discord: What a mess.
-Commander Hurricane gets to her feet and makes her escape as medics and security enter the arena-
Dr. Whooves: Cheerilee's bleeding heavily from all those chair-shots, that was absolutely disgusting. Commander Hurricane purely BRUTALIZED the poor woman for no justified reason. I hope Celestia does something about this raving lunatic.
Discord: The allure of championship is strong.
Dr. Whooves: Championships be damned, this is a sport, not a killing match. Commander Hurricane needs to join us in the modern world.
-The show cuts to commercial as Cheerilee is carried away on a stretcher-
*Dubstep music fills the arena*
-Vinyl Scratch emerges, getting a lot of support from the fans as she energetically dances down to the ring, rocking out to her own theme music-
Baritone: The following main event is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from Loneyville, weighing 122 pounds, and standing five foot, eight inches tall, Vinyl Scratch!
Dr. Whooves: It must sting for Vinyl Scratch to have her own partner abandon her.
Discord: She was dead weight.
Dr. Whooves: They lost their matches together. Maybe it's Octavia who was the dead weight.
Discord: I guess we'll find out shortly.
*Classical instrumental music plays*
Baritone: And her opponent, from Canterlot, weighing 135 pounds, and standing five foot, nine inches tall, Octavia!
Dr. Whooves: Octavia has found herself new allies in Canterlot Class, but they will not be there to help her in this match as both Hoity Toity and Blueblood were taken out earlier tonight by the Underbaker.
Discord: Implying that Octavia even needs help.
Main Event: Vinyl Scratch vs. Octavia
*25 minutes later*
-Vinyl Scratch and Octavia are trading punches in the center of the ring, looking thoroughly exhausted-
Dr. Whooves: It's hard to believe these former friends are still going at it, they're really showing no remorse for each other.
*3 minutes later*
-While Octavia is knocked down in the ring Vinyl Scratch pulls two separate tables out from under the ring and stacks them on top of each other, she then moves Octavia onto the top one and climbs the turnbuckle, she goes in for the dive only for Octavia to roll off the table, hitting the ground hard while Vinyl Scratch falls through both tables-
Discord: Both of them are feeling the hurt after that!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWESOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
-Octavia slowly gets to her feet as the referee reaches a count of seven, she grabs Vinyl Scratch and rolls her into the ring, she picks Vinyl up and hits Sonnet on her-
*1...2...3!*
-Crowd boos-
Baritone: Here is your winner, Octavia!
Discord: I told you Octavia was the better one.
Dr. Whooves: One match doesn't prove anything, this rivalry isn't over yet, but sadly this episode is. We'll see you all next week!
-End of show-
Match Results:
Match 1: Amira vs. Sweet Tooth Amira won
Match 2: WF Championship F4W #1 Contender's QM, Rainbow Dash vs. Sweetie Belle Rainbow Dash won
Match 3: Sublime Tag Team Championship #1 Contender's Match, Spa Twins vs. Ghost Girls Spa Twins won
Match 4: Ace vs. Zack Ryder Zack Ryder won
Match 5: International Championship #1 Contender's Match, Cheerilee vs. Nurse Redheart Cheerilee won
Main Event: Octavia vs. Vinyl Scratch Octavia Won

1. Trixie Position Change:0 Last Week:1 *World Fighter's Champion*
2. Fancy Pants Position Change:+4 Last Week:5 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*
3. Gustave Le Grand Position Change:+4 Last Week:6 *1/2 Combos of Carnage Champion*
4. Scootaloo Position Change:-2 Last Week:2
5. Overdrive Position Change:-2 Last Week:3
6. Lightning Dust Position Change:-2 Last Week:4
7. Sunset Shimmer Position Change:+5 Last Week:12 *Crater Chick Champion*
8. Babs Seed Position Change:-1 Last Week:7
9. Pinkie Pie Position Change:-1 Last Week:8
10. Twilight Sparkle Position Change:-1 Last Week:9 *Eternal Women's Champion*
11. Photo Finish Position Change:-1 Last Week:10 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*
12. Pretty Vision Position Change:-1 Last Week:11 *1/2 Sublime Tag Team Champion*
13. Commander Hurricane Position Change:+5 Last Week:18
14. Diamond Tiara Position Change:0 Last Week:14
15. Cadance Position Change:-2 Last Week:13
16. Apple Bloom Position Change:-1 Last Week:15
17. Turf Position Change:+4 Last Week:21 *1/2 Chick Combos Champion*
18. Silver Spoon Position Change:+4 Last Week:22 *1/2 Chick Combos Champion*
19. Snips Position Change:0 Last Week:19
20. Snails Position Change:0 Last Week:20
21. Braeburn Position Change:-5 Last Week:16
22. Happy Trails Position Change:-5 Last Week:17
23. Rainbow Dash Position Change:+6 Last Week:29
24. Colgate Position Change:-1 Last Week:23
25. Rumble Position Change:0 Last Week:25 *Carnage Champion*
26. Amira Position Change:N/A Last Week:N/A
27. Flash Sentry Position Change:-1 Last Week:26
28. Daring Do Position Change:0 Last Week:28 *International Champion*
29. Twist Position Change:-5 Last Week:24
30. Thunderlane Position Change:0 Last Week:30 *World Brawler's Champion*

Entering the Power 30:
Amira: The third daughter of the fifth house of Paddle Arabia has certainly made a royal entrance unto Sublime, and has won two consecutive matches thus far.

Leaving the Power 30:
Shining Armor: Defeat after defeat has plagued Shining Armor, and now his own tag team partner has betrayed and brutalized him.

Superstars to watch out for:
Damien Sandow: Damien Sandow has made himself known since debuting two weeks ago, and has displayed impressive skill against Bill Nyeker. Perhaps he truly is the intellectual savior of dem asses.

Octavia: Octavia pulled out her first major victory on the main event of Sublime, and major it was. Her rivalry with Vinyl Scratch may be what's needed to propel her onto the Power 30.

Women's Eternal World Championship:

Champion: Twilight Sparkle
1. Lightning Dust (1) =
2. Sunset Shimmer (2) =
3. Rarity (=) ^
4. Turf (6) ^
5. Diamond Tiara (=) ^
6. Cadance (4) v
7. Silver Spoon (9) ^
8. Flitter (N/A)
9. Cloudchaser (N/A)
10. Berry Punch (7) v

World Fighters Championship:

Champion: Trixie
1. Colgate (1) =
2. Pinkie Pie (2) =
3. Rainbow Dash (5) ^
4. Daring Do (4) =
5. Commander Hurricane (6) ^
6. Octavia (EIGHT) ^
7. Amira (N/A)
8. Spitfire (3) v
9. Aloe (N/A)
10. Lotus Blossom (N/A)

Carnage Championship:

Champion: Rumble
1. Damien Sandow (4) ^
2. Bill Nyeker (3) ^
3. Fancy Pants (5) ^
4. Gustave Le Grand (6) ^
5. Snails (1) v
6. Snips (2) v
7. Flash Sentry (N/A)
8. Clip Clop (N/A)
9. Dance Fever (N/A)

10. Neon Lights (EIGHT) v

World Brawlers Championship:

Champion: Thunderlane
1. Prince Blueblood (1) =
2. Underbaker (2) =
3. Checkmate (3) =
4. Davenport (4) =
5. Hoity Toity (5) =
6. Zack Ryder (N/A)
7. Ace (N/A)
8. Big MacIntosh (6) v
9. Soarin (7) v
10. Steamer (EIGHT) v

Crater Chick Championship:

Champion: Sunset Shimmer
1. Rarity (1) =
2. Turf (6) ^
3. Silver Spoon (5) ^
4. Berry Punch (4) ^
5. Cloudchaser (7) ^
6. Flitter (EIGHT) ^
7. Honeycomb (2) v
8. Midnight Strike (3) v
9. Fleur De Lis (N/A)
10. Fluttershy (N/A)

International Championship:

Champion: Daring Do
1. Commander Hurricane (4) ^
2. Octavia (3) ^
3. Amira (7) ^
4. Spitfire (1) v
5. Photo Finish (5) =
6. Pretty Vision (6) =
7. Aloe (N/A)
8. Lotus Blossom (N/A)
9. Cheerilee (N/A)
10. Sweetie Belle (N/A)

*The beautiful people...OOOOHHHH…*

-FIAHWAHHHHHHHHHHHK.-

Garble: Welcome everybody, to Monday Night Lunacy, live from the illustrious Asylum! I am Garble, the most influential voice here in the EWF, and I am joined by my good pal, Ahuizotl, who learned how to talk again!

Ahuizotl: I didn't lose the ability to talk...I simply lost the nerve for all of the crap happening around here.

Garble: -sighs- I know, I know, and I gained a lost of respect for you last week because you stood up for what you believed in. You said you wouldn't talk, and you didn't.

Ahuizotl: Respect? Wow. Did you finally get rid of your zits this past week? Is that why you're in such a good mood?

Garble: Yeah, well, enjoy it while it lasts. Things will be back to normal once again, 'Zotl, so that means I'll be bringing you down, and you'll be riding my coattails up.

Ahuizotl: Of course...it would be a shame if that were to change….-chuckles-

Garble: Absolutely. Tonight, we will be hearing from General Manager Luna, and the EVP of Talent Relations, Mr. Star Swirlinaitis. They promised to "take care of business." What could that mean?

Ahuizotl: It means somebody stepped out of line. That, or they're going to make another in-bad-taste decision.

Garble: I'd say that you shouldn't take bad about your bosses like that, but at this point, I think you could care less.

Ahuizotl: Yup. -leans back- I'm about at the end of the line. I've reached my limit. I just want to announce some wrestling. Is that so much to ask?

Garble: I'll admit that the politics are starting to make me disappointed...but I like this job more than my fry cook job at Applebee's, so that's all that I'll say. Nonetheless, wrestling is our specialty here at the EWF, 'Zotl, and we've got some action lined up tonight! BOTH of our world champions, Twilight Sparkle and Rumble will be in action. And in our MAIN EVENT, we have a FIRST TIME EVER encounter! Rarity will face Lightning Dust!

Ahuizotl: Retribution is just around the corner, and one of these ladies want to gain the ULTIMATE momentum boost! The real winners are the FANS, though! What a match that's going to be…

*Colorful rainbows catch my eyes, when I see you fly across the sky…* -MASSIVE pop-

Garble: Speaking of FANS, we are kicking off tonight's actions, with one of the EWF FANS' FAVORITE wrestlers!

Madden: *ding ding ding* The following contest...is scheduled for OOOONNEE FALLL! Making her way to the ring, accompanied by Berryyyyy PUNCH! From Loneyville! Weighing in at 118 POOOUUNNDSS…..SCOOOOOOOTTAAALOOOOOOO!

-The crowd roars with chants of "SCOO-TA-LOO" as Scootaloo riles up the crowd. Berry Punch is not far behind, snapping her head back and forth-

Ahuizotl: One of the many reasons I REFUSED to commentate last week, was the way that Scootaloo and Berry Punch were SCREWED out of the Chick Combo Championships! These two ruthless gals had the match one before the OPENING BELL! I'll give the devils their due; despite that, the champions SURVIVED for a LONG TIME after that...but their performance will forever be STAINED-

Garble: By the alcohol that leaked out after that beer bottle once it ERUPTED against Berry Punch's head! I'm not gonna say it was the most ethical thing to do, but it was genius! Diamond Tiara thought light on her feet bringing that bottle down to ringside. Her besties are STILL champions, so it paid off. You can't argue with success, 'Zotl.

Ahuizotl: Well, Berry Punch has a microphone, something she has had success with in the past.

Garble: She's a FIRECRACKER!

Berry: ...Diamond Tiara...you anorexic bitch... -crowd cheers- Your skimpy ass got REAAAAL lucky last week. One, because ya didn't get ya ass whooped by Little Dynamite Scootaloo, or Marble Cold..Berry Punch!

Crowd: BERRY-PUNCH! BERRY-PUNCH! BERRY-PUNCH! BERRY-PUNCH!

Berry: Two...because ya little Disney princesses, barely escaped this arena, with those tag titles around their waist….-crowd boos- I think it's pretty safe to say, Marble Cold and Scootaloo got swindled! I ain't complainin', though...EH EH! Because at the end of the day, I can still kick some ass with the best of 'em! -cheers- What I ain't happy about, however...is the 8 staples...in the back of my head…-turns around, and moves her hair out of the way so the camera can zoom in on the damage done by Diamond Tiara- Now, I've had way worse than this...hell, this just a scratch compared to all the other hell I've been put through...BUT THE FACT IS, I like hurtin' people, not being hurt myself. Diamond Tiara, you spoiled braud, you said you had never touched alcohol before? Well hell, 'course ya didn't! There was never any around, because your daddy, was to busy, chuggin' it all down, at the thought, of YOU BEIN' BORN. -crowd OOOHHH's-

Garble: JjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjEEEEZZZZZ!

Ahuizotl: Not holding anything back tonight, that's for sure….

Crowd: THAT WAS FUCKED UP-BUT SO TRUE! THAT WAS FUCKED UP-BUT SO TRUE! THAT WAS FUCKED UP-BUT SO TRUE!

Garble: Neither is the crowd! WHAT THE HELL?!

Berry: As I said...I can still whoop ass like there's no tomorrow. In just a moment, Scootaloo is goin' to share that trait with me. But right now, I understand..that you're the ringleader...and if it weren't for you...me and Scoots...would be champions. So it's like this. Your pepto bismol ass, is gonna walk into Retribution...walk into my boot...my boot will then proceed to walk into your ass-BUILD A SANDCASTLE, and then WALK IT DRY! -major cheers- ...And when you're out of the way, them two slutty sheep, will have nowhere to turn...and me and Scootaloo, are gonna RAISE HELL on 'em, just like you've been raising hell on her for TOO DAMN LONG-and at the end of the day...you're gonna hand deliver me some beer, and Scootaloo some Sunny D-unless she's feelin' froggy-and we're gonna celebrate, as the NEW...Chick...Combo Champions...H'AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LIIIINNNEEE….'Cause Marble Cold -crowd says along with her- SAYS SO! -more cheers-

Ahuizotl: VERY confident, VERY brazen Berry Punch!

Garble: If she keeps running her mouth, she's gonna have a bunch of broken glass shoved in it...we get it, you kick ass! But apparently not enough to win the titles, so all her intimidating doesn't mean a damn thing!

Ahuizotl: You were doing so well last week, but now here we are right back from the beginning...you being an ignorant STOOGE.

Garble: It's not about me, 'Zotl! Berry Punch just challenged Diamond Tiara to a match at Retribution, and she's gonna wish that she hadn't!

*Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true…* -LUNACY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY NEW BOO-BERRY CEREAL. BUY IT BEFORE HALLOWEEN SEASON AND JERK OFF IN YOUR PRINCESS ELSA COSTUME. FAGGOTS-

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! Accompanied to the ring, by Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon! From Loneyville! Weighing in at 122 POOOUUNDSS...she is ONE HALF! Of the Chick Combo CHAAMMPPIONNNNSS…..TUUURRFFF!

Turf: Damn right! HAHA! What is this? -talking to the crowd- I ALREADY BEAT THIS BITCH ONCE! -gets in one dude's face- YOU DON'T LIKE THAT?! I'LL BEAT HER AGAIN, AND YOUR VIRGIN ASS WILL ONLY "BEAT" YOURSELF WHILE I DO IT! -grins widely-

Ahuizotl: I wonder if Turf will react like this in her old age, shouting at her 12 cats as she puts paprika in her tea instead of sug- -Ahuizotl is cut off as we see the male fan legitimately hit Turf right in the eye socket. Turf was clearly not expecting it, and she falls to the floor, kicking at the air and clutching at her eye with both hands. Boos immediately fill the arena, and we can hear the sound of Ahuizotl and Garble's headsets hitting against the announce table as they stand up and frantically look at the scene-

Silver Spoon: -immediately lunges at the assailant- WHAT THE FUCK?! -the security surrounds him and pulls him away before she can get a shot in. Some fans begin to throw beers at the dude, while just about everybody in the arena can agree on chanting "AAASSSS-HOLE" at him multiple times. We quickly cut to commercial-

-We return to get a shot of Ahuizotl and Garble. Ahuizotl looks down at at the announce table, as Garble runs both of his hands through his hair. He begins to talk-

Garble: -he nods, probably at the what he is being told through his headset- Ladies and gentlemen we are back here on Monday Night Lunacy. We are terribly sorry to have cut off the broadcast right there, but that isn't something that we wanted to show. What we mean is, and take this however you will...that was NOT...a part of tonight's entertainment….we've been informed to tell you all that what you just saw was NOT a part of the act...a-and to prove it, we aren't going to replay that scene EVER on this, or ANY other EWF televised show. ESPN is probably reporting on it right now and that's okay...we expect that. And that's why we had to cut to commercial...b-because of the severity of the issue...if you missed it, we're only going to explain it ONCE...while coming down to the ring for her match, Turf was struck by a male fan after she got in his face. She was struck in her right eye. Security have since detained the man and have thrown him out of the building.

Ahuizotl: -looks at the camera for the first time- We didn't want to ever have to do this….go out of character, or as you internet fans would call it, "kayfabe", but we thought it was best to get this message out there…..you buy a ticket, you watch at home expecting some great action, and yet...this happens...and we apologize for it. But we didn't know it was going to happen….but it's not about US, it's about the victim….Turf….young 18 year old girl….she didn't expect this to happen, either…

Garble: We're not trying to make this into a sob story, because knowing Turf...she wouldn't like that...she's tough as nails….but emotionally, physically...she is wrecked right now...and that's not how it should go down….her character that she plays is very vocal. She likes to get in people's faces. She didn't say anything she hasn't ever said. The fan she confronted either takes wrestling too seriously or he has very severe mental issues. He needs help...h-he really does….I understand that tensions run high, and when someone is just SCREAMING in your face you feel the need to react...but don't fucking react like THAT! Boo Turf, give her a thumbs down! Don't punch the woman! Her job IS to get you riled up, and Turf is truly WONDERFUL at playing her character….but getting riled up and punching are two totally different things….Turf was doing her job, but I guess she was doing it TOO well….

Ahuizotl: The point of all this is a call to action. It's ABSOLUTELY FINE to boo a character you don't like, and to react to them, but leave the violence to them….this wasn't a shoot punch, folks...this was a REAL, unadulterated right hand to a woman's eye socket….

Garble: PLEASE. We are PLEADING with you. If you are put in the same situation as that….that JACKASS...think REASONABLY….think LOGICALLY…..these characters LOVE to get a reaction out of you fans...but they're here to ENTERTAIN you….just remember that they're REAL PEOPLE….everyday people with jobs, just like you guys….they are here to put on the best show that they can….but they can't do that from the sidelines….so PLEASE….PLEASE...boo them, cheer them...but respect them enough to not put their health on the line, because they do that enough every time they get in that ring….

Ahuizotl: We will have updates on Turf delivered to you all as soon as they are available to us...she is being tested on by doctors right now.

Garble: For now, though, and as cliche as it sounds...Turf would want the show to go on...and so it will….

*Now Trending on Twitter: #GetWellTurf (#1 trend worldwide), Turf, Berry Punch*

-Silver Spoon leans back into the ring after having a hefty conversation with Madden. Diamond Tiara and Berry were also involved. Kayfabe mode is turned ON once again as Berryreturns to Scootaloo's corner. It's easy to see that Silver Spoon has been crying. She slides an index finger through her eyelid, and gets ready to wrestle this match to the best of her ability, despite what just happened-

Match 1: Scootaloo w/ Berry Punch vs Silver Spoon w/ Diamond Tiara

-the crowd is pretty much silent throughout this match. At one point during a rest hold you can faintly hear Scootaloo lean in and ask Silver "is she okay?" Silver replies with "I hope…."-

*8 minutes later…*

-After a series of punches from Scootaloo, Silver responds with a slap to the face. Scootaloo dropkicks the left leg of Silver, and then connects with Scootabuse-

Ahuizotl: Scootabuse! Scootaloo hits it!

Garble: Why is it called that, 'Zotl? -1….- Doesn't that mean that someone ELSE is ABUSING HER? -2….3!-

Ahuizotl: Does it really matter? She just beat one half of the Chick Combo champs with it!

Garble: Someone has to ask these kind of questions!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER….SCOOOOOTALOOOOOOOO!

-Diamond Tiara runs into the ring to attack Scootaloo, but Berry cuts her off and hits The Bar Tab on her. The crowd cheers even more-

Garble: Well that didn't work out too well…

Ahuizotl: For Scootaloo and Berry it did. They gained a small fraction of revenge from last week.

Garble: But the revenge process won't be complete until they win the Chick Combo titles. And that's where the concept of Retribution comes in! Berry Punch can take out the one who cost them the titles, Diamond Tiara, and then it'll be THAT much easier to obtain the gold…

Ahuizotl: It'll be easier said than done...we all know just how devious Diamond Tiara is…

-Scootaloo celebrates as Berry throws Silver Spoon's half of the Chick Combo titles at her. She was too pre-occupied with dragging Diamond out of the way to get it-

*Interview Area…*

Silver Shill: I am standing by with the man who betrayed Shining Armor last week on Lunacy...possibly the most hated man in the EWF...Flash Sentry-

Sentry: Hey, dork? ...Aren't you forgetting about somebody?

Silver: I-I was getting to that-

Sentry: Well get to it quicker!

Silver: -cowers slightly- A-also joining me at this time...Flash's girlfriend...the Crater Chick champion...Sunset Shimmer…

-Sunset twirls herself into the shot, ending up in Flash's arms. They share a quick peck on the lips-

Sunset: -sensually- Thank you, baby….

Silver: Last week, Flash, you shocked the wrestling world by brutally attacking your former best friend Shining Armor….to the point where he was bloody….and then...you and Sunset….-tastes a bit of vomit in your mouth-

Sunset: Why is everyone so disgusted by that? It was nothing more than a few seconds of PASSION between a pair of PASSIONATE people….-leans in towards Flash- A way to show that my love for Flash is THICKER than any amount of blood…..

Sentry: -with a dumbfounded expression- And I wish it would've lasted FOREVER…..-Sunset giggles and plants him with even more kisses-

Silver: ...Fair enough….I suppose I don't have to ask you WHY you attacked Shining like that, Flash…

Sentry: Nope. I feel I made that pretty clear with what I said. All Shining ever tried to do was get me to separate myself from Sunny….why would I do that? I LOVE Sunny...and I proved that after the show…when we-

Sunset: -blushes- Flash! That was supposed to be between you, me, and the bed-sheets!

Flash: Heh heh..-cuddles with Sunset-...all Shining ever cared about was to get me to stop taking Sunny's bait…-talks like he's talking to a puppy- and how could I do that? She's so sweet and innocent! -Sunset inserts a hand up Flash's shirt, feeling him up- ...So I BAITED HIM in….

Silver: How do you feel about your upcoming match with Shining at Retribution?

Sentry: It's unnecessary. For both parties. I already sent my message to Shining. NOBODY is going to take my girl from me. I also did Shining a favor….now he can be with HIS girlfriend all he wants...he just has to NOT show up at Retribution. Simple….

Silver: Does this mean that The BroMans are over?

Sentry: If Shining is my friend, my BROTHER, like he says he is...he will APOLOGIZE to me and Sunset. And he will just….let us be. If he is willing to do that, I am willing to continue my partnership with him. Through thick and thin! All he has to do is admit his mistakes….because me and Sunny are in LOVE. And nothing can take that away from us…

Silver: Sunset? Are you proud of Flash?

Sunset: You have no idea how proud I am….-giggles- For so long he was too afraid to FIGHT for our love! I can't tell you how many times I overheard Shining Armor practically BEGGING Flash to stay away from me!

Flash: I just couldn't take it anymore, baby….I couldn't STAND what he was saying about you….

Sunset: I'm so glad you shut him up….does he have any idea how AWFUL the things he said made me feel? Does he even CARE? -sniffles-

Flash: I'm sure he does now, babe...and if he doesn't….I guess I'll have to BEAT his apology out of him!

Sunset: Ooohhh...so AGGRESSIVE! -licks Flash's abs- I LOVE IT!

Flash: Oh man...I'm the pussy? Well how come Shining was the one lying on his BACK last week?

Silver: ...Because you blindsided him….

Flash: Blindsi-man, forget this! I've got a match with THIS gorgeous lady…-puts an arm around Sunset- We'll see who the PUSSY is by the end of tonight! -walks off-

Sunset: You're MY pussy, baby….

Flash: Oh….I mean if YOU wanna call me that, then I guess I can oblige…

-the happy couple continue to giggle, as Silver Shill hopes he never has to conduct an interview like that again-

Garble: -with The Oddities theme playing in the background- Ha ha! Poor Shill. He can take my job if he wants! Then I wouldn't have to deal with YOU, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: You wouldn't be able to stay away and you KNOW it.

Garble: -sighs-...I guess not. #CommentatorBros!

Ahuizotl: No.

Garble: Awww…-tweets out sadface-

Madden: The following MIXED...TAG TEAM MATCH...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Currently in the ring, accompanied by THE ODDITIES! At a combined weight, of 365 POOOUNNDSSS! Hugh Jelly, and MIIIDDNIIIGHT STRRIIKKEE!

Ahuizotl: I don't know about you, boy, but I am already FED UP with this Sunset Shimmer and Flash Sentry CRAP!

Garble: It's like Ron Jeremy got ahold of The Notebook script and flipped it to his perverse liking….it's pretty sexy doe, can't lie.

Ahuizotl: Speaking of lovers, odd as it may be, Hugh Jelly and Midnight Strike are lovers as well. So this is going to be a very rare Couple vs Couple match.

Garble: I got the perfect name for it too, 'Zotl…."Lover's Quarrel"!

Ahuizotl: Nice! So which EWF fan tweeted that out to you?

Garble: ….that obvious?

Ahuizotl: Yeah.

Garble: -sigh-...It was actually Ron Jeremy. RealRonJeremy.

Ahuizotl: Wow. You know you've hit it big when Ron Jeremy tweets you.

Garble: Actually, I think it might be a fake account….hold up, I'm going to ask him if I can be in one of his movies! If he says yes, then HEY IT'S RON JEREMY and also HOLY SHIT GRANDMA YOU CAN SEE YOUR GRANDSON ON THE MUCH ANTICIPATED "THUNDERCUNTS" SEQUEL!

Ahuizotl: …..-clears throat-...match. That should be happening….

*And now….it's all over now….* -MONDAY NIGHT LUNACY IS SPONSORED BY "HONEY BOO BOO"-

Madden: Aaaand THEIR OPPONENTS! At a combined weight, of 368 POOOUNDS! Flash Sentry, and the EWF...Crater Chick CHAMPIOOONN….SUNSEEETT...SHIMMEERR!

Ahuizotl: I am so disgusted in this young man….so he and Shining Armor lost a few matches. BIG DEAL! It was all because of that JEZEBEL Sunset Shimmer!

Garble: Shining Armor was being a BAD FRIEND trying to break these two kids up! They were DESTINED for each other, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: Destined MY ASS! Flash was DESTINED to be nothing more than a lap dop! I don't know what Sunset told him to get him to MALICIOUSLY assault his BEST FRIEND, the guy who let Flash sleep on the bottom bunk in The Philippines just so he could pee whenever he wanted to without making noise, even though he didn't like the top bunk! THAT's friendship, Garble! And I don't know what she said to ruin that, but I bet it wasn't a lot!

Garble: She said what she HAD to in order to keep her relationship alive! She's a WONDERFUL girlfriend! I would do EVERYTHING in my power to have a woman like Sunset sleeping by my side every night!

Ahuizotl: For all you know she probably makes Flash sleep on the FLOOR!

Garble: Yeah, they probably BOTH do, since they broke the bed with all their hump-

Ahuizotl: Eugh! ENOUGH! I hope that Hugh and Midnight make Star-Crossed Lovers out of these two…

Match 2: Hugh Jelly and Midnight Strike w/ Dance Fever and Clip Clop vs Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer

-Sunset spits right in Hugh's face as soon the bell rings, allowing Flash to take advantage and knock him down to the mat with a dropkick. Sunset laughs in pleasure, but is soon taken out of the equation by a crossbody from Midnight. Flash immediately worries for her safety, and that allows Hugh to get a quick roll up on him-

Garble: Flash YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER KICK OUT IF YOU WANT DAT BOOTY TONIGHT!

-1….2….-Flash kicks out-

Garble: Thew! I'm happy for him...be a shame if he had to miss out on THAT…

Ahuizotl: Yeah, THAT….she sounds worth the absence to me…

-13 minutes later-

-Hugh has Flash setup for The Sticky Situation, but Flash counters and sends Hugh into his corner, where Sunset is waiting for him. She grabs the top of his head with both hands, and jumps off of the apron, forcing his neck to collide into the top rope. The crowd boos as Flash immediately looks to finish off Hugh-

Garble: Awww! What a delicate little flower Sunset is!

Ahuizotl: Give me a break….

-Flash snarls in anger, and when Hugh gets up….-

*FLASH FLOOD!* -the crowd can't help but still be in awe of the incredible finisher-

Garble: BEAUTIFUL! ALMOST as beautiful as Sunset!

Ahuizotl: I'd like to see HER get hit with one of those….

Garble: -gasps- YOU MONSTER!

-1….2….3! -many boos-

Madden: Here are YOUR winners! Flash Sentry...and SUNSEEETTT...SHIMMER!

Garble: Flash is BACK ON TRACK, baby! This new attitude of his is going to lead him to the promise land, let me tell ya! He shouldn't have ever even teamed up with that anchor Shining Armor!

Ahuizotl: Oh yeah...because it's Shining Armor's fault that the BroMans were a complete failure….

Garble: Glad you see it my way, 'Zotl!

Ahuizotl: I didn't mean it like TH-screw it. Blah blah blah I am disgusted blah blah blah….

-Sunset and Flash celebrate by making out, though Sunset stops when she sees Midnight checking on Hugh. She grabs Flash's jaw and forcefully turns it to meet with Midnight. She then nods her head towards Midnight's direction, to which Flash responds with by grabbing Midnight's hair, earning even more boos from the crowd-

Ahuizotl: GODDAMMIT! STOP WHERE YOU STAND!

-Sunset grins wider the more Flash positions Midnight for the Flash Flood. As he puts her head between his legs, Clip Clop and Dance Fever are in the ring, running the two crazed lovers off-

Ahuizotl: GOOD! Get them the hell out of here! They're SICK! Is that all it takes! Just a NOD from that bitch and Flash'll do anything she wants him to?!

Garble: Love makes you do weird things, 'Zotl…

Ahuizotl: Yeah, like the love your mom and dad had made YOU. A REALLY weird thing!

Garble: You can't use Berry Punch's joke and expect it to work for you. -shakes his head-

Ahuizotl: Oh, whatever! The fact is is that Flash Sentry is so completely enamored by this woman that he would STAB his best friend in the back, and nearly flip a woman into the air and drop her on her head without even batting an EYELASH?!

Garble: Like Flash said...he'll do ANYTHING to please Sunset….

Ahuizotl: Why? So she can "please" him?! I would pass...THE WOMAN DRANK BLOOD! Who KNOWS what I would catch!

-Sunset doesn't nibble, but she BITES Flash's earlobe, eliciting a pained growl from Flash-

Ahuizotl: If it hurts, then why does he LIKE IT?!

Garble: JESUS, 'Zotl! It's called FOREPLAY!

Ahuizotl: Yeah, and foreplay is for the BEDROOM!

Garble: Sunset Shimmer's BEST FOR BUSINESS! She can shag wherever she'd like….

Ahuizotl: Do you hear yourself right now?!

Garble: No, but I do hear you AND I DON'T LIKE IT. So it's time for a commercial break.

Ahuizotl: By all means, get your composure back….God knows we wouldn't want you not at your absolute BEST out here…

-Midnight glares at Sunset as the rest of the Oddities check on Hugh. Sunset and Flash aren't even paying attention to her, as they are too busy rubbing their private parts together-

Crowd: GET A ROOM! GET A ROOM! GET A ROOM! GET A ROOM!

*Commercial*

Garble: -as "You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies plays in the background- We would like to give special thanks to Sick Puppies, for "You're Going Down"! The official theme song of EWF Retribution, which is a little less than three weeks away!

Ahuizotl: I cannot wait for it, boy! Proving Grounds put the EWF on the MAP, and Retribution is sure to pick up where it left off!

*Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful...don't hate me cuz I speak true…* -BOO, BOO, BOO. BA-BOO, BOO BOO. Oh sorry just tuning my guitar-

Madden: The following contest...is scheduled for ONEEE FAAALLL! Introducing FIRST! Accompanied to the ring, by ONE HALF...of the Chick...Combo Champions...Silver Spoon! From LONEYVILLE! Weighing in at 117 POOOUNDS! DIAAAAMOOND...TIIIIIARAAAAAA!

Garble: Speaking of Retribution, THIS young lady will have a match there!

Ahuizotl: That's right. Announced earlier tonight, Diamond Tiara will battle the rough and tumble offense of Berry Punch. It's sure to be a saliva-splatter!

Garble: ...The HELL did you just say…?

Ahuizotl: Funny...usually I'm saying that to YOU every week….

*A hundred thousand stories...have filled my head…* -it's not often BOTH superstars in a match are being booed, but hey, anything can happen in deh Eh Dubya Eff-WAIT NO BOO PUN?! I'VE LOST MY TOUCH-

Madden: Aaaand...HER OPPONENT! From LONEYVILLE! Weighing in at 123 POUNDS! She is...the Eternal...WOMMEENNN'SSSSSS CHAMPIOOONN…..TWIIIIILIIIIGHHTTT….SPARKLE!

Garble: And we all already know that Twilight will be in action at Retribution, as well. She'll be in the FEATURE match, which is what you can expect when you're the CHAMPION…..and best for business.

Ahuizotl: Ugh! This is too much! It's coming to the point where I want Lightning Dust to win at Retribution, because we KNOW that Luna and Swirlinaitis aren't going to call her...THAT.

Garble: Call her what? -leans his ear towards Ahuizotl-

Ahuizotl: There is no way I'm going to say that….

Garble: Say what?

Ahuizotl: NO!

Garble: SAY IT, YOU JERK! SAY IT!

Ahuizotl: RING THE BELL!

Match 3: Diamond Tiara w/ Silver Spoon vs Twilight Sparkle

Ahuizotl: This is Twilight's first match since winning the Eternal Women's Championship at Proving Grounds…

Garble: And you're going to see just WHY Ms. Luna and Mr. Swirlinaitis picked HER to lead the EWF for the foreseeable future. You have my word….

Crowd: WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF!

*Now trending on Twitter: #FlashPusstry, #SalivaSplatter, #BestforBusiness*

-16 minutes later-

-Close to the corner, Diamond Tiara goes for The Diamond Cutter, but Twilight counters by shoving Diamond in the air. Diamond's "v-section" (you know) crashes into the ringpost, causing the crowd to "OHHH." Diamond's lower back now straddles the middle turnbuckle, as she writhes in pain-

Crowd: HOW'S YOUR PUS-SY? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* HOW'S YOUR PUS-SY? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* HOW'S YOUR PUS-SY? *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Garble: Typical Lunacy fans...THIS IS SERIOUS! Diamond's hymen could be ruptured!

Ahuizotl: -gasps- I think I've finally figured out why you're so whiny always!

Garble: This isn't the best time….

Ahuizotl: So...when was it when YOUR hymen ruptured?

Garble: ...Okay...now this is the WORST time…

-Twilight grabs Diamond by the neck, pulling her off of the middle rope a bit, and then executing a neckbreaker. As soon as Twilight can hook Diamond's leg, Silver Spoon interrupts the possible ending of the match by double axe handling Twilight's back. The crowd begins to boo as the bell rings, signaling the end of a very competitive match-

Ahuizotl: Twilight might of had it there! Can't Silver Spoon keep her moldy self outside the ring where it belonged at the moment?

Garble: Like a GOOD FRIEND, Silver Spoon was worrying about Diamond Tiara's health! HER HYMEN COULD BE RUPTURED, GODDAMMIT!

Ahuizotl: She's a COMPETITOR. She's supposed to fight through it!

Garble: NOBODY CAN FIGHT THROUGH A RUPTURED HYMEN!

-Silver Spoon grabs onto the top rope with both hands, and begins choking Twilight with her boot, as Diamond continues to lay on her back in the corner. The cheer percentage of the crowd suddenly goes up to 100%-

Ahuizotl: Wait! It's...Lightning Dust?!

-Lightning Dust enters the ring, and clobber Silver with a roundhouse kick when she turns around. Silver falls to the mat and then rolls out of the ring like a forgotten tumbleweed-

Crowd: LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST! LIGHT-NING-DUST!

Garble: But she DESPISES Twilight! Why did she help her?

-Lightning retrieves the Eternal Women's championship from the timekeeper's table, and then re-enters the ring. Twilight has positioned herself seated by the ropes in the ring. When Lightning approaches her, title in hand, she stands up-

Crowd: KNOCK HER OUT! KNOCK HER OUT! KNOCK HER OUT! KNOCK HER OUT!

-Twilight has a pleading look on her face as she looks into Lightning's eyes. Lightning has a slight curl in her upper lip-

Garble: Are these two going to duke it out before Retribution?!

-Lightning lightly shoves the title into Twilight's chest, and walks out of the ring without a second's hesitation. The crowd seems very disappointed by the lack of Twilight GETTIN' KNOCKED DAH FUCK OUT, MAN-

Ahuizotl: Either Lightning Dust is playing games, or she finally sees the innocence in Twilight Sparkle…

Garble: I doubt that. Lightning's pretty stubborn. She'll be in action in the main event, though. Maybe she wants to take out her aggression on Rarity.

Madden: The winner of this match...by DISQUALIFICATIOOONNN….TWILIIIIIGHT...SPAAAARKLE!

-Twilight looks at the stage in confusion. She then looks at her title, and leaves the ring, slapping hands with few kids on her trek back up the stage-

*Backstage…*

-Timmy Tmz (pronounced TIMMY TIMS) stops Lightning Dust in the hallway on her way back from the ring-

Timmy: Lightning Dust! -she turns around- What was that out there? You had the opportunity to DROP Twilight Sparkle...but you didn't take it.

Lightning: Yeah...yeah, I didn't...I helped her sorry ass...and it WASN'T because I felt sorry for her…

Timmy: Then why did you help her?

Lightning: Because I want Twilight to be 100% for Proving Grounds, so I can HANDILY beat her ass, and regain what is rightfully MINE, the Eternal Women's championship. Beating an injured Twilight would make my victory tainted, and that would not be well on my psyche…I want Twilight at her BEST.

Timmy: Do you fear that you not be left at your "best" following your match with Rarity tonight?

Lightning: There's a strong possibility that Rarity is going to weaken me some-hell, A LOT. She's another competitor, like Rainbow Dash, that I respect. I know we're going to have a match worthy of the main event, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I DO plan to use Rarity to send a STATEMENT to Twilight, and those two schmucks hiding in their air conditioned office right now….they're next after I get my title back...-walks off-

*Commercial…*

-As we return, we see Twist in the ring sucking on a heart lollipop probably laced with arsenic. Her theme song plays in the background, as everybody in the arena awaits her weekly death, though they refuse to even look at her, insteading opting to turn their backs-

Garble: Last week was the greatest Twist squash to date...as she was LITERALLY SQUASHED by a giant rock, known simply as Tom.

Ahuizotl: Nobody knows how that rock was even able to get to the ring, let alone WIN A MATCH. Who gives a damn, though? As long as each Twist match ends with her in pain I'm fine…

Garble: He was probably animatronic. Or possessed by some weird chicks in the bayou….

Ahuizotl: Are you by any chance talking about this strange group we've been seeing pop up on Lunacy at the end of the show for the past few weeks?

Garble: Yeah, I am...from what we've been told...they are known simply...as The Wythyst Family...take a look, into their warped world…

?: What shall it profit a man...that gains the world...but loses his soul on the way?

-The same heavy breathing, as well as the usual guitar riff kicks in, as we hear the cackle of the fedora lady, who has gained more weight once again. She at one point is standing on a stump, with her eyes closed, her head down, and her arms outstretched. Her followers watch her, entranced. She twirls in the woods as the lady in the flannel watches from afar. The camera travels down a road for a second, and then gives us a quick glimpse of a trailer from far away.-

?: You guys know me right? -a sign is displayed that says "NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be prosecuted.- I'm that person that helps you unsolve..all the riddles-elaborates..of your own mind! -the fedora lady looks around her as she stands in the woods. She then looks up at the sky.- Blame the new selfishness, that you never even knew!-a consciousness..UNDISCOVERED!

-the same rocking horse that rocks on its own is shown, and then the grasshopper that walks forward and then backward. The lady with the sheep mask in one frame is standing still in the very back of the woods, but in the next frame she is shown to be much farther up, and looking out to her side, her body twisted in direction. There is a quick shot of a dirt mound, followed by a shot of the fedora lady laughing, her purple, stringy hair flowed over her face. The figurine of a little girl with a basket is shown again, followed by a shot of the fedora lady in the dark. A split second later, an orange light shines through the cracks of the door she is standing in, and we can see that she has a menacing look on her face.-

?: And whether they like it or not…-a shot of a barb-wire fence- WHETHER THEY REFUSE IT OR NOT- -the fedora lady is looking up at the wooden ceiling of the house she stands in, quite intrigued. Suddenly, the music stops, and our ears are met with the eerie sound of something you would hear in a movie. It's like a poltergeist screech. As it plays, the lady with the sheep mask is shown standing in the woods, though it is rather blurry. After a second, her statute becomes less blurry. We can slightly hear children giggling in the background.-

-It is dark, but a barn door slowly open, revealing the fedora lady rocking in her chair, the lady with the sheep mask and the lady with the flannel guarding her.-

?: We will pry their eyes open…-the sound of a faucet being tightened by a wrench-

Flannel lady: We are the ones…

?: And force them...to watch…-it skips around, as we hear the giggles of the fedora lady.-

Sheep lady: We're coming….-as she walks through the woods, the flannel lady watching ahead of her-

?: -a scary close up on her face- RUN…

-more laughter from the fedora lady, as we see the table which holds the antique doll from before. The fedora lady points off into the distance, as the shot goes back to the doll, and then back to the barn, where the rocking chair rocks by itself.-

?: -in a flash, appears in front of the rocking chair, dressed in a brown apron- I! AM THE EATER OF WORLDS! -there is darkness once again, as we hear the primal scream of a little girl-

-the children's laughter returns, and so does the light, as we see the fedora lady staring back at us. Her upper lip twitches, her eyes wild.-

?: ….RUN….-darkness one final time-...We're coming…

-We cut back to the arena, as we hear the cheers and applause of the audience, and we see the stunned looks of Ahuizotl and Garble-

Ahuizotl: They say they are coming...we do not know WHY..we do not know WHEN...but one thing is for certain...these fans are READY for them.

Garble: So am I, 'Zotl! Ya know, many in the back are alarmed by this Wythyst Family...I, however, welcome them to Lunacy with open arms! -Ahuizotl stares at him- What? It's already crazy here, man! Why not just pile it on? Besides, maybe they're nice ladies…-Ahuizotl rolls his eyes- So they make the children scream! You heard them laugh in there too, though! Maybe they have a...a-a- daycare center!

Ahuizotl: Oh will you stop it? We've got a Twist match to call.

Garble: Well YEAH, of course I'm not gonna stop! I don't wanna watch that cootie-bucket wrestle!

Ahuizotl: But you get to watch her be mercilessly BEATEN, keep that in mind.

Garble: Hmmm…-thinks-...You're right! WHOEVER IS FIGHTING HER, KILL HER! I WANT HER DEAD! MURDER HER WITH YOUR ENTIRE BEING!

*EGO's theme. Whatever it is, IT PLAYS….*

Garble: ...HMM?!

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! From CANTERLOT! Weighing in at 125 POOOOUNDSS...FLEEEURRR..DE LIIIS!

Garble: Ooohh...THAT makes WAY more sense! I thought Twist was going to fight Gustave or Fancy, which also would've been acceptable!

Ahuizotl: But instead, we are...treated? I guess treated, with the singles DEBUT of Fleur De Lis!

Garble: Normally, I would say that Twist is screwed, but the only match Fleur has had was that battle royal where everyone threw her out at once. Other than that, NOTHING. At least Twist has a bit more experience in the ring. But she sucks so that means nothing.

Ahuizotl: Getting down to it, Fleur is going to HAVE to wrestle, because she's got to face Applejack at Retribution, and you DON'T want to go into a match unprepared against APPLEJACK.

Garble: True. She'll cut you down like a decrepit apple tree….

-Fleur jumps on the apron, and looks out to the crowd with a wink. She enters the ring, and flips her hair, sliding down as she holds on to the top rope. Many flashbulbs go off-

Ahuizotl: I guess I've gotta give points to the young lady for coming out here ALONE.

Garble: Granted, there shouldn't be much to worry about...I mean, it's TWIST…

Match 4: Twist vs Fleur De Lis

-As the bell rings, a small rock drops from the sky. As it hits the mat, a small, rolled up note stands out among the many tiny crumbs of earth.-

Twist: Huh...whath's tith? -she picks up the note, and begins to read it.-

"Meet me at Retribution...and I will ROCK YOUR WORLD.

P.S. Stay away from Tom, you cheeky slut. You know not the sediments you tamper with."

-Twist looks up, and notices a pair of turquoise eyes staring down at her in the rafters. They disappear when spotted.-

Ahuizotl: Hmmm…..I don't even know.

Garble: Yeah me neither. Looks like someone has ACTUALLY set their sights on Twist for once, though….ick.

Ahuizotl: I'm sure this person has their reasons.

Twist: Oh hey I'm suppothed to loth rith abouth now. -looks up-

*DDT 6!* (though you fancy sheets can call it "Lis de Resistance")

Garble: Hey, at least she knows her place!

-Fleur poses on top of Twist's body as her way of a pin-

-1…..2….3! The crowd boos, as they were hoping for more Twist abuse. Fleur celebrates like she had just gotten followed by Ron Jeremy on Twitter, though-

*Now trending on Twitter: The Wythyst Family, Lightning Dust*

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER...FLEEEUURR...DE LIIIIS!

Garble: That was the greatest pin I've ever seen….

Ahuizotl: Fleur has a win under her belt, but Twist is NO Applejack….

Garble: No shit. You're right, though. EGO had better be training Fleur HARD for this match, or else that beautiful face of hers isn't going to be making money for quite a while…

Ahuizotl: -as Fleur continues to pose- I truly am interested in who that was that threatened Twist.

Garble: Who HASN'T threatened Twist? She gets so much hate mail that the post office just sends it to her already dug grave.

Ahuizotl: Doesn't shock me at all, truthfully…

-As Twist lays unconscious on the mat, the turquoise eyes return at the top of the rafters, staring down at her.-

Garble: ….Damn dude.

*Interview Area…*

Silver: I am now standing by with the Carnage Champion, Rumble…-Rumble is revealed to be taking selfies WHAT A SHOCKER- and of course, he is escorted by Bulk Biceps, Flitter, and Cloudchaser…-Flitter and Cloudchaser do slutty things like check to see if their manicure was well executed, and Bulk Biceps looks intimidating- Rumble, many people have been asking for the past week, WHY did you interrupt the match between Damien Sandow and Bill Nyeker?

Rumble: -gives Silver a "isn't it obvious" look- Because I'm the King of Cuteville, that's why…

Silver: But..why were you so shocked to see that Sandow won by disqualification? Didn't you know that was going to happen?

Rumble: Of course I did! I'm not the Carnage Champion for nothing! I figured if I interfered then the match would be ruled a no contest.

Silver: And why would you want that?

Rumble: I'm not BLIND, you know...I see all those hacks on social media, labelling me as nothing more than a "pretty boy", saying that I don't DESERVE this championship, yet my brother over on Sublime can retain his title by countout and nobody bats an eye! I haven't even been champion a MONTH, and I'm already SICK of it! I needed to prove myself, and figured defending my title against TWO uggos AT ONCE would silence my not so lovely critics. It didn't initially work out how I wanted it to, but I'm glad that Mr. Swirlinaitis gave me this opportunity. The opportunity to prove that I AM a better and more deserving champion than BLUNDERLANE, and that I AM more than just a pretty face! -walks off in a huff, his posse close behind.-

Garble: Inspiring words by the Gorgeous One. He's fed up with all of these naysayers calling his title victory a fluke! He pinned Overdrive in the middle of the ring!

Ahuizotl: Sure. After a smartphone was smashed over the back of his head….

Garble: It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, there is no asterisk by Rumble's name in the record book. He won the title, and he'll be defending at Retribution! Where is Overdrive now? In the pit of irrelevancy.

Ahuizotl: You won't be saying that in one year's time, I guarantee you. He's a star in the making Overdrive is.

Garble: Eh. Speaking of stars, we are joined here at ringside by one of the men Rumble will be defending his title against at Retribution...Mr. William Nyeker!

Nyeker: Thank you, Mr. Garble for the remarkable introduction.

Garble: -cute anime face- Oh, it's nothing, sir! I am so glad you are out here!

Nyeker: Well, it's more to track my students' progress than anything, but it's nice to take a break from the woes of teaching. These students of mine are just so jejune sometimes...I don't think I can go on. You on the other hand, Mr. Garble, are a PRIME example of the perfect student. I can envision you graduating any day now. Mr. Ahuizotl, on the other hand…-looks down at his end of the announce table- still has some room for improvement….

Garble: Yeah, 'Zotl! You should be more like me!

Ahuizotl: Boy, you are no angel. I know for a fact that you were the kid that thought the wrapping of a crayola crayon was edible…

Garble: -whispers- The crayon itself, too….-frowns, as Mr. Nyeker removes Garble's gold stars from his chart- DAMMIT!

Nyeker: That's strike one.

*RUMBLE'S THEME. IT'S SWAGGALICIOUS, DAWG. There are also cheers there. A lot. Alright.*

Madden: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing FIRST! Accompanied to the ring...by Bulk Biceps..Flitter..and Cloudchaser! From LONEYVILLE! Weighing in at 192 POOOUNDS! He is, the CarnAAAGGEEE ChampIOOONNN…..RrrrrrrrUMBLLLLLLEEEE!

Ahuizotl: Rumble is officially on a mission now. His title victory WOULD'VE been impressive, but he had Flitter and Cloudchaser to help him all the way. We'll see if Rumble is truly set on fighting his own battles for once.

Garble: You seem to forget that OVERDRIVE was the one that wanted Flitter and Cloudchaser in the match. It's not Rumble's fault that he was feuding with a dummy. It's a shame you didn't open up your classroom while Overdrive was still relevant, Mr Nyeker.

Nyeker: I could've taught him so much. It seemed that his brain was already rusted over when he was built in that chop shop. I hope he didn't drop out of my class, but then again, I wouldn't be surprised.

*HALLELUJAH….* -a chorus of cheers follow, as Mr. Nyeker scowls at the arrival of his least favorite student-

Madden: Aaaand HIS OPPONENT! From Palo Alto, CALIFORNIA! Weighing in at 247 POOOUNDS! He is, the Intellectual Savior of DEM ASSES...DAAAMIEEENNN..SAAANDOOWW!

Ahuizotl: And he's got another pair of ladies by his side! Where does he get them at?

Garble: Sluts Я Us.

Ahuizotl: Can you really say that with the way Flitter and Cloudchaser are dressed?

-Bulk Biceps bangs his hands on the table, glaring ferociously at Ahuizotl. He backs away after a few moments, but refuses to take his eyes off of him-

Garble: Nah, I can't...but apparently you can't say THAT.

-Sandow is wearing some heart-shaped sunglasses, with a teddy bear that is holding a heart that says "Shag Me" clipped to his robe. He hands it to one of the ladies, who graciously accepts it, and kisses the bear on the nose-

Nyeker: Ugh...absolutely repulsive…

Ahuizotl: Well, Valentine's Day IS coming up….

Nyeker: Yes, VALENTINE'S DAY, not INTERCOURSE DAY!

Garble: It's funny, because those are both on the same day this year…

Ahuizotl: Ha ha! I see what you did...Ha ha!

Nyeker: Your status as my most prized student has gone down a vast amount over the past few minutes, Mr. Garble…-Garble frowns-

Ahuizotl: Speaking of, Bill...which one of these students ranks higher among your favorite?

Nyeker: I truly cannot tolerate either of them...but I suppose I have to give the slight edge to Mr. Rumble. He has broken the no cell phone rule in class, but Mr. Sandow has violated the class dress code, as well as INTERRUPTING ME WHEN I AM TEACHING!

Garble: Isn't that the Golden Rule?

Nyeker: Why, yes it is. Thank you for paying attention, Mr. Garble. Speaking of gold...I plan to acquire my fair share of it when I defeat these two miscreants at Retribution…

Match 5: Damien Sandow w/ Dah Assets vs Rumble w/ Bulk Biceps, Flitter, and Cloudchaser

-11 minutes later-

-Sandow sets up for his fancy elbow after delivering his Russian legsweep-

Garble: Sandow is in complete control. He's got the champion reeling!

Nyeker: And I'm about to reel him in…-takes off his headset, determined-

Garble: M-Mr. Nyeker! Where ya going?!

-Nyeker jumps on the ring apron before Sandow can execute his elbow. Sandow tries to knock Nyeker off with the elbow originally intended for Rumble, but Nyeker jumps off at the last second-

Garble: Thew...that was a close shave. I would fall to a pile of nothing if Mr. Nyeker wasn't around to teach me!

-Sandow turns around, and is met with Rumble's spinning heel kick finisher-

Ahuizotl: The Beauty Mark! Rumble hits The Beauty Mark!

-Nyeker looks pleased by his actions, as Rumble hooks the leg-

-1...2...3!-many cheer, though it's not hard to hear some boos mixed in there-

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNER! The Carnage Champion...RrrrrrrrUMBLLLEEEEE!

-Rumble grabs his cell phone from the corner of the ring, and wastes no time in snapping selfies as the referee presents him with his championship.-

Garble: A step in the right direction for Rumble! He's on his way to proving everybody wrong!

Ahuizotl: He won that match after interference from Bill Nyeker! That's hardly "fair."

Garble: It's not Rumble's fault that Sandow and Mr. Nyeker hate each other! What can Rumble do? Tell him to go away? This is HIS classroom!

Ahuizotl: Rumble truly is the odd man out in this equation right now...Sandow is having a match, but he also has to worry about Nyeker at the same time!

Garble: Sandow would've done the same thing, that ingrate.

-Nyeker enters the ring, and looks to inflict more punishment on Sandow, but he is also met with The Beauty Mark from Rumble! The crowd is immensely pleased-

Garble: Now COME ON, Rumble! There was no call for that!

Ahuizotl: Ya know, maybe Rumble is upset that Nyeker interfered in his match. Perhaps he wanted to beat Sandow ON HIS OWN. There was NO interference from Bulk Biceps, Flitter, OR Cloudchaser over the course of this match.

Garble: Well then kick him in the face during the triple threat match! Mr. Nyeker was just giving Sandow some discipline, and THAT doesn't concern Rumble! Rumble just made this VERY personal….

Ahuizotl: HOW was it not ALREADY personal?! There's a championship at stake here!

-Sandow's ladies try to enter the ring to assist their man, but Flitter and Cloudchaser pull them off the apron, and ram them into the barricade at the same time-

Ahuizotl: Now THAT'S uncalled for, boy!

Garble: -taken aback- Calm down, 'Zotl…

Ahuizotl: Calm down?! You're the one that's yelling because you're a teacher's PET!

Garble: -gasps- I'LL MEET YOU OUT BY THE MONKEY BARS!

Ahuizotl: Fine! 3:30. BE THERE.

Garble: I can't THEN! I have piano practice!

Ahuizotl: Alright HEY wanna jump some rope?

Garble: SURE.

-Rumble lays down between both of his fallen opponents, and snaps selfies, as the title is precisely placed across his chest-

Crowd: RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* RUMBLE'S GOR-GEOUS! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

*Commercial…*

*Everybody's starry eyed...and everybody glows...OH!* -SO MANY CHEERS CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF CHEERAGE THAT IS HAPPENING?-

Madden: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing FIRST! Accompanied…by Fluttershy! From Loneyville! Weighing in at 127 POOOUNDS...RAARRRITYYY!

Garble: There she is, 'Zotl! As far as I'm concerned, the M...V...P, when it comes to wrestling matches, here in the EWF!

Ahuizotl: Absolutely. Her two bouts against Colgate will NEVER be forgotten, and her match 2 weeks ago against Midnight Strike is something you have to see to believe...this woman, is simply SPECTACULAR.

Garble: And at Retribution, she faces her biggest challenge YET, when she is pitted against the ever sadistic Sunset Shimmer.

Ahuizotl: For the Crater Chick championship, no less! And that is no doubt going to be another stellar match. But first… Rarity is going to put on a CLINIC...with THIS woman….

*Welcome to the Danger Zone* -HI! MILLY BAYS HERE WITH THIS INCREDIBLE OFFER! IF YOU BUY ONE ARENA FULL OF SCREAMING FANS, I'LL THROW IN A SECOND, ABSOLUTELY FREE!-

Garble: They are on THEIR FEET!

Madden: Aaaand HER OPPONENT! From CLOOOUDSDAALLEEE! Weighing in at 123 POOOUNDSS! LLLLLLLLIGHTTTNIIING...DUST!

Ahuizotl: You wanna talk about determination? You wanna talk about DRIVE? This woman, Lightning Dust, EXEMPLIFIES these terms! She hasn't wrestled since Proving Grounds. We all know the story…

Garble: Yeah, she was HUMBLED!

Ahuizotl: She was robbed. Nobody can deny that. She wants Twilight Sparkle at 100% for their match at Retribution, and that's very noble of her. But for now, she's gotta worry about being 100% against, as you said, one of the greatest wrestlers we have in this business, Rarity.

Garble: Lightning Dust sure as hell ain't no slouch, either. She's not going to let up on Rarity, and Rarity ain't gonna let up on her. It's technicality vs speed here tonight. That's one of the greatest matchups you can have, folks.

Ahuizotl: It's a test of will, for sure. Rarity has to work on grounding Lightning Dust, while Lightning needs to stay away from those dreaded suplexes and draining submissions of Rarity. And lest not forget...that Sequin Special, which is sure to knock the air out of Rarity…

*Now trending on Twitter: Rumble, #CrayolaCrumbs, #AhuizotlvsGarbleUltimateJumpropeMayhem*

Garble: That's going to have to become a thing some day…

Ahuizotl: I'm up for it.

Garble: I'm not. I've seen you double dutch...looks like you're havin' a seizure…

Main Event: Rarity w/ Fluttershy vs Lightning Dust

-Rarity and Lightning Dust shakes hands before locking up. The crowd cheers, and immediately begins to pick sides-

Crowd: LET'S GO RAR-I-TY! LET'S GO LIGHT-NING! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY! LET'S GO LIGHT-NING! LET'S GO RAR-I-TY! LET'S GO LIGHT-NING!

Ahuizotl: It's 50/50! This is going to be a HELL of a main event!

Garble: Let's not stray away from that handshake so quickly. We NEVER saw Lightning show that kind of respect to ANYBODY while she was champion. I'm telling you, 'Zotl. She was straight up HUMBLED after the loss at Proving Grounds.

Ahuizotl: Maybe she was always this respectful, but didn't think she would have to show it because she was the champion. It's hard to say. Maybe basically getting TURNED ON by someone she THOUGHT was her friend helped her learn humility, too.

-6 minutes later-

-Rarity is outside the ring, stirring after being sent out by Lightning Dust. Lightning bounces off the ropes, as the crowd's "OOOHHH" builds up, and then climaxes when halfway out of the ring, Rarity catches Lightning in a DDT, slamming her head right down to the protective padding. Fluttershy silently can't believe what she has just seen, and neither can the fans, as they are going nuts-

Garble: WOW! ….WOW!

Ahuizotl: Lightning Dust was about to rock Rarity with a suicide dive, but Rarity caught her IN MID...FLIGHT. IN MID-FLIGHT...with a DDT! WOW INDEED.

Garble: Th-...thanks...I didn't even know what to say!

Crowd: HO-LY-SHIT! HO-LY-SHIT! HO-LY-SHIT! HO-LY-SHIT!

Ahuizotl: And we're only SIX MINUTES in! And this crowd is ALREADY letting the expletives fly out! I'm ALREADY on the edge of my seat!

-Rarity quickly shoves Lightning in the ring, but only gets a 2 when she covers her-

Garble: I have a feeling these ladies are JUST getting started….

*Now trending on Twitter: #LightningvsRarity (number 1 trend worldwide)*

-2 minutes later-

-Lightning Dust goes for a roundhouse kick on Rarity, but Rarity catches her leg, and then proceeds to wrap her other arm across Lightning's back-

Garble: Oh no….

-Rarity uses Lightning's own leg to propel her into the air. Lightning's back hits the middle rope, and then the back of her head crashes into the canvas. The crowd is going crazy again-

Garble: AN EXPLODER SUPLEX! Lightning's coccyx just SMASHED right into that turnbuckle pad! What IMPACT!

Ahuizotl: And this is EXACTLY what Lightning should've avoided….

1….2…-Lightning kicks out, as the "LET'S GO LIGHTNING/LET'S GO RARITY" duel chants break out once again-

-5 minutes later-

-Rarity has Lightning locked in an Abdominal stretch. After some inspiration from the crowd, Lightning escapes it by tripping Rarity on her back with one of her legs. Immediately, Lightning jumps into the air, attempting a standing moonsault. Rarity moves out of the way at the last minute, though-

Ahuizotl: UNBELIEVABLE! Rarity's lucky to have avoided that…

-As Lightning stirs, Rarity takes the opportunity to run off the ropes, looking to hit Lightning with a front dropkick as she is on her knees. Lightning leaps over Rarity as her boots are flying right at her face. As she leaps, she is able to grab both of Rarity's feet, and hold her shoulders down to the mat with her body weight. The crowd, yet again, cannot believe what they are seeing-

Ahuizotl: JACKKNIFE PIN! JACKKNIFE PIN! -1….2…-Rarity kicks out-..Man!

Garble: The ATHLETICISM! How does she do all this?!

Ahuizotl: I think it's just natural to her!

Crowd: THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THIS IS AWE-SOME! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-8 minutes later-

-Lightning stands on the apron, after having Rarity reeling. She jumps off the ropes, and does a 450 in the air, but Rarity catches her in mid-air. She soon lifts her high into the air, causing blood to rush to Lightning's head. The crowd applauds at the feat of strength-

Ahuizotl: What STRENGTH by Rarity! What is she going to do to Lightning here?

-Lightning knees Rarity on the top of the head, and gets free of her grip. Lightning then presses both of her hands onto Rarity's forehead, and uses the momentum to LEAP backwards out of her grasp, landing on her feet. The crowd cannot stop cheering-

Garble: GodDAMN! She's the Princess of Parkour!

-Lightning immediately hits Rarity with an enziguri-

Ahuizotl: I don't know WHAT Rarity was going for. Could've been a vertical suplex, or a brainbuster, but Lightning Dust had it scouted! She is just THAT GOOD!

-Lightning quickly goes up to the top turnbuckle. She positions herself, and then looks out at the crowd. They are amped up.-

Crowd: JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

-Without a second more hesitation, Lightning leaps off the top rope-

Garble: Ask and you shall reCIIIEEEVEEE! -Lightning flips herself in the air, and lands right on Rarity's rib- FUUUUUCK!

Ahuizotl: Corkscrew Shooting Star Press! Lightning calls it "Astraphobia", which is the fear of Lightning!

-1…..2…..DAMN RIGHT IT'S 3! The crowd erupts in cheers, as the bell rings-

Garble: It's over! What. A. MATCH!

Madden: Here is YOUR WINNEEEEEERRR! LLLLLLIGHTNING….DUUUUSSSTTTT!

-Lightning shoots a fist into the air, before standing on the middle rope, looking out at all of her supporters-

Ahuizotl: If you do not believe that Lightning Dust is ready for Retribution...then you, my friend, are a moron. What resolve by Lightning Dust!

Garble: What EVERYTHING by Lightning Dust! AND Rarity! ...Just….just….WOW!

Ahuizotl: Couldn't have said it any better myself! These two women proved why they are in title matches at Retribution! And if Lightning beats Twilight, I think I speak for EVERYBODY when I say that I wouldn't mind seeing Rarity...vs Lightning Dust...for the Eternal Women's Championship!

Garble: No argument out of me there, 'Zotl!

-Lightning Dust grabs a seated Rarity's hand, and pulls her back up to her feet. They shake hands again-

Ahuizotl: ...I love it. That's just incredible. Kudos to these two women! K-U-D-O-S!

-Lightning points at Rarity, and then winks at Fluttershy, who can't help but clap, before leaving the ring. Fluttershy enters the ring, and hugs Rarity-

Fluttershy: That was...I don't even know what to say, Rarity! It was just…

Rarity: Say no more, sweetie. Lightning Dust is a terrific competitor. I'm glad that we could leave you speechless.

Fluttershy: ...I hope I can wrestle as good as you someday…

Rarity: -smiles- You will darling...I know it!

-The crowd gives Rarity a standing ovation, as Fluttershy slowly raises the hand of her friend. It's not very high in the air, because she's shy, but Rarity appreciates it-

Crowd: THANK YOU RAR-I-TY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU RAR-I-TY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU RAR-I-TY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-You can see tears forming in Rarity's eyes, as we cut to our final commercial-

*Only perfection around…* -the mood turns sour after the spectacular match beforehand-

Garble: It's time, 'Zotl….

Madden: Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome. The General Manager of Lunacy...Luna! And StAAARR...Swirlinaitis!

Garble: The moment has arrived! The greatest General Manager and EVP we could ask for are HERE!

Ahuizotl: They've been promoting for a WEEK that they are going to take care of some kind of problem. I don't know what that could be, but I bet it's something that didn't to be fixed…

Garble: Just sit back and shut up and maybe YOU won't be the problem….

-Luna and Swirlinaitis enter the ring, and are handed a microphone for each-

Crowd: LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS! LUNA SUCKS!

Swirlinaitis: My name...is Mr. Star Swirlinaitis…-mostly boos-..I am the EXECUTIVE Vice President...of Talent Relations. And WOW...how about that main event, huh? -the crowd cheers once again-

Luna: It truly was a classic, and one of the reasons why the Equestrian Wrestling Federation is taking over not only the sports world, but social media as well!

Swirlinaitis: ….We can top that, though.

Luna: Yes, we can. There's no point in repeating ourselves. We are here tonight for ONE reason, and that is to solve a little...dispute we are having.

Swirlinaitis: Not "we" as in..it's a dispute BETWEEN me and Luna..but rather...a contracted EWF employee has been giving us problems since the first show. It's come to the point where he has alienated those around him.

Luna: And it stops TONIGHT….Ahuizotl...come in this ring, please….

-Garble and Ahuizotl look at each other. Ahuizotl gives a "no going back now" shrug, takes off his headset, and proceeds to enter the ring. He is also given a microphone-

-Ahuizotl stands in front of Luna and Swirlinaitis, his hands behind his back-

Luna: ….I think you know why you're here, Ahuizotl…

Ahuizotl: ...I have an idea, yes…

Luna: Ahuizotl, as a commentator here in the EWF...it is YOUR JOB to provide the EWF fans with FAIR and UNBIASED coverage of Lunacy. But ever since the first broadcast, you have blatantly DEFIED this order, instead opting to give your own perspective on what you see…

Ahuizotl: Yes. I'm COMMENTATING WHAT I SEE. And WHAT I SEE, EVERY WEEK, is complete CHAOS. Best friends getting stabbed in the back isn't a rarity around here, it's actually quite common! Blood has been spilt, and DRANK, and the weaknesses of others are both EXPLOITED and EXPANDED UPON. Women like Diamond Tiara and Sunset Shimmer seem hell-bent on making anyone they come across MISERABLE. And you two REWARD that? You REWARD Sunset Shimmer with a title because she ruthlessly INJURED Cadance?! You stand back and do NOTHING as Diamond Tiara and her other skankateers berate Scootaloo? As they mock Berry Punch's alcohol addiction? That's not FAIR! What I say IS FAIR! Who the hell accepts what those women do as being FAIR?

Luna: I hope you realize just how BUSY me and Mr. Swirlinaitis are. This isn't just a "Monday thing"...we have meetings to go to, promotion to set up, whether that be events or television interviews with the talent EVERYDAY. This job doesn't let up. And neither does this BUSINESS-

Ahuizotl: I understand how this business is! I get that if you can't take the abuse, then you should go home. But I'm upset with the EMOTIONAL abuse, not the PHYSICAL! It's one thing to beat somebody in a match, but to RAM THEIR GIRLFRIEND INTO A BARRICADE afterwards? To attempt to CRIPPLE somebody just because your girlfriend "said so"? NO! It doesn't work like that! This is a SPORT, not a PRISON! This arena is called The Asylum because the fans are CRAZY, in a GOOD WAY. They think just like any other normal person, and that is that the crap that goes on here is BULLSHIT! -crowd erupts in cheers-

Swirlinaitis: Hey! Watch your mouth!

Crowd: AHUI-ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* AHUI-ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* AHUI-ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

Luna: It's fine, Mr. Swirlinaitis…-stern look, though the crowd keeps chanting over her as she talks- I understand your frustration. But it doesn't end there, Ahuizotl...since joining the commentary booth, you've also alienated your broadcast partner, Garble…

-Ahuizotl looks back at Garble, who has his hands on his lap, and looks rather sad-

Swirlinaitis: Every time you shouted about something being "unfair", Garble would yell back that it was "totally fair." And then Garble began being unbiased when he would nearly lose his mind when Diamond Tiara or Rumble would show up. You're not supposed to do that! You've got to contain yourself!

Ahuizotl: And do you REALLY believe that Garble thinks like that? We're not ROBOTS, dammit! We can think for ourselves! The fans watching at home sure don't seem to mind…-cheers-

Luna: You are a beloved figure here in the EWF, but you're going to have to do what you're told, Ahuizotl. Both you AND Garble. It's what is Best...for Bus-

Ahuizotl: SHUT UP! -spit flies in Luna's face, as the crowd becomes unglued- STOP SAYING THAT! YOU CALL GIVING A TITLE TO SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T DESERVE IT "BEST FOR BUSINESS"?! YOU CALL SCREWING SOMEONE OUT OF THEIR TITLE "BEST FOR BUSINESS"?! IF YOU KEEP THINKING SHIT LIKE THAT IS "BEST FOR BUSINESS", THE EWF IS GOING TO GO OUT OF BUSINESS! AND IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAU-

-Ahuizotl is met with a slap across the face from Luna before he can finish his sentence. The crowd "OOOH"s before booing. Garble suddenly stands up from his chair-

Luna: ENOUGH! I tried to be civil with you, but you are UNBEARABLE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Ahuizotl...you've left me no choice...YOU'RE FIRED! -even more boos circle in, as Ahuizotl just stands there, taking the news in- GET OUT OF MY RING! GO!

-Ahuizotl doesn't even beg to differ. He just exits the ring. Garble runs over to him-

Garble: You can't go, man! YOU CAN'T GO!

-Ahuizotl doesn't respond. He just continues to walk up the stage-

Crowd: THANK YOU 'ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU 'ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* THANK YOU 'ZOTL! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

-Garble looks on as Ahuizotl leaves and never looks back. He soon turns around, a furious look on his face. He enters the ring in a huff, and confronts Luna and Swirlinaitis, who share the same satisfied smirk-

Swirlinaitis: It's okay, Garble..he's gone now. You are free! You don't have to be unbiased anymo-

Garble: Free?! I'M free?! I'm pretty sure HE'S the one who is FREE! And I'm happy for him...I truly am….because now he doesn't have to deal with you two assholes, telling him how to do his job!

Luna: You be very careful with what you say, Garble...or else you'll be joining him….

Garble: Oh yeah, I'm very scared of the blueberry in dress pants….-cheers- let me tell you something! There is NOBODY around here, that DOES. THEIR. JOB. BETTER..than AHUIZOTL! -more cheers- He gives SO MUCH to this brand! He is BELOVED by the fans, and you think you're not gonna get your head chewed off for annexing him?!

Luna: Why are you even taking his side? I thought you didn't like him!

Garble: Oh my fuck-...DO YOU EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?! Last week, I said LIIIIIIIVVEEE, that I respected the hell out of that man. But that wasn't news to ME. I've ALWAYS respected him! It's like he just said...do you REALLY think I am happy when Diamond Tiara or Rumble show up?! DO YOU?! Diamond Tiara is a snobby bitch, and Rumble is more concerned over the well-being of his phone than his championship! IT'S PATHETIC! AND YOU ENDORSE IT! I'm not like this….I could NEVER be a cynical asshole like I appear to be every week…

Swirlinaitis: Appear? JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?

Garble: I didn't think I had to spell this out for you, but alright...when I got this job, of course I had to meet Ahuizotl, see if we had any kind of chemistry, because that's important for the kind of thing we were doing. Turns out that we did, even though I'm half his age. Long story short, we wanted to be...different, I guess. We came up with the idea that one of us would agree on one thing that happened, while the other disagreed. We figured it would make for some good TV...we didn't expect everything to be so fucked up around here, but we rolled with it. So, 'Zotl was the white-meat good guy, always pointing out how evil people were, while I defended these bad people with some well-thought-out, yet faulty logic. It worked PERFECTLY. And we were having FUN with it….then things LEGITIMATELY got EVIL. Sunset manipulates Flash week in and week out, Midnight Strike gets rammed into a barricade by a 275 pound dude FOR NO REASON. At this point, 'Zotl is actually PISSED, and I'm having a hard time not speaking my mind myself. Last week, I finally decided to lay off a bit, because 'Zotl was SO FURIOUS that he quit. He STOPPED COMMENTATING, so I decided to play his role, because nobody at home wants to hear one dude just fanboy over bitches and dickheads all night. And then tonight, it all boiled over….you tight-asses just have to have shit YOUR WAY. FUCK YOUR WAY! AHUIZOTL IS MY FRIEND! WE HAD FUN WITH THIS! AND THEN YOU SUCKED THE FUN OUT OF IT BY LETTING ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN! YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO STOP IT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DISGUSTED I FEEL WITH MYSELF FOR TRYING TO DEFEND SUNSET SHIMMER WHEN SHE DOES THE SHIT THAT SHE DOES? OR WHEN I HAVE TO KISS YOU TWO CLOWNS ASSES JUST SO AHUIZOTL COULD THROW A QUIRKY COME BACK MY WAY?! IT SUCKS! IT MAKES ME HATE MYSELF AT TIMES! ….But I'll admit...IT STILL FEELS BETTER THAN DOING WHAT YOU FUCKERS SAY, WHICH IS REACT TO NOTHING! HOW CAN YOU REACT TO NOTHING, WHEN EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AROUND YOU...MAKES YOUR BLOOD BOIL?! HOW!? DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS?! YOU DON'T! In five years, you'll be doing seminars on HOW TO DRIVE A COMPANY INTO THE GROUND! THEN YOU'LL HAVE TIPS! Meanwhile, me and Ahuizotl are going to be somewhere where we CAN speak our mind! I'm speaking it right now, and it feels FUCKIIIIIING GOOD! YOU GUYS SUCK! FUCK YOU! -points at Luna- FUCK YOU! -points at Swirlinaitis- WE NEED MORE GOOD STUFF ON THIS SHOW, LIKE THAT MAIN EVENT! -looks at the camera- Lightning Dust...Rarity….GOOD JOB, GIRLS! I wish your matches could overshadow all the shitty things that happen on this show, but that's gonna be difficult, when the ones running it..ARE SHIT! -crowd erupts in cheers-

Swirlinaitis: YOU TOO, DAMMIT! YOU'RE FIRED TOO! -boos-

Garble: You can't fire me..because I! QUIT! -cheers. Garble slams the mic down on the mat, and walks out of the ring. Luna and Swirlinaitis look on in utter disbelief, as Garble flips them both the bird, eliciting even more cheers from the crowd. Garble then salutes his former bosses, and walks off of the stage-

Crowd: GAR-BLE! GAR-BLE! GAR-BLE! GAR-BLE! GAR-BLE!

*Now trending on Twitter: Ahuizotl, Garble, #CommentatorBros*

-Luna has her hands over her head, as Swirlinaitis kicks the ropes in frustration, shouting "DAMMIT!"-

Crowd: YOU GOT PUNK'D! YOU GOT PUNK'D! YOU GOT PUNK'D! YOU GOT PUNK'D!

-The crowd comes alive once again as Lightning Dust jumps over the barricade behind the announce table. She runs into the ring as Swirlinaitis and Luna don't notice her. Lightning taps on Swirlinaitis' shoulder, and kicks him in the balls when he turns around. Luna shrieks as the crowd cheers. Luna tries to exit the ring, but Lightning grabs her by the hair, a wicked smile on her face-

Crowd: FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP! FUCK HER UP!

-Before Lightning can do anything drastic, she is clobbered with the Chick Combo championship from behind by Sunset Shimmer. The crowd immediately begins booing, as Luna falls on her rump. Sunset helps her up, and picks Lightning up-

*THE LAST SUNSET!*

-Sunset holds her title up over Lightning's prone body, as Luna and Swirlinaitis, who has just gotten on his feet, applaud furiously-

-Twilight runs down the ramp and into the ring, coming face to face with Sunset, who cannot stop smirking. Sunset takes the initiative to raise Twilight's hand in the air. Twilight is shocked, and cannot react in time before Luna stands by Twilight, and raises her other hand. Swirlinaitis finishes by raising Luna's hand, as the crowd will not let up with their boos, and that is exactly how the show goes off the air. With these 4 standing tall, although Twilight looks like she'd rather be anyplace else-

Crowd: WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF! WE WANT TURF!

Match Results: Scootaloo defeated Silver Spoon by pinfall
Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer defeated Hugh Jelly and Midnight Strike by pinfall
Twilight Sparkle defeated Diamond Tiara by disqualification
Fleur De Lis defeated Twist by pinfall
Rumble defeated Damien Sandow by pinfall
Lightning Dust defeated Rarity by pinfall