0-0-0-0-0

"Don't. Bucking. Move."

Sweetie Belle aimed the weapon directly at the freakish monster, doing her absolute best to sound threatening. Unfortunately, the scratchy squeak of her voice didn't sound very intimidating.

Sweetie Belle, however young, was no idiot; she clearly recognized a weapon when she saw one. When she slipped free from her prison and snatched up the odd tubular thing that her captor had dropped, it took her a matter of moments to discover how it worked. She was rather proud of herself for that, but in hindsight, it looked fairly simple. An easy little cocking lever, along with a trigger mechanism.

She leveled the weapon at the masked creature's head, staring hard into the red bits of glass where the eyes were supposed to be. She couldn't read it's expression, and even though it wasn't speaking like the other one was, that didn't mean it wasn't a threat.

"Don't come any closer!" Sweetie Belle insisted, unable to keep herself from backing away instinctively when it began to come toward her. It might have incapacitated the other monster, but it still could have meant her harm. She brandished the weapon telekinetically in front of her, causing it to hold up two appendages.

0-0-0-0-0

This little idiot.

I didn't really like the position to begin with. I didn't like being woken up when I really could have used some good shuteye, and I was liking this even less.

The poor kid really thought she was threatening; and, in fact, I was kind of scared right then. I'm not going to deny it.

But I would have been a lot more afraid for my own life if she'd been pointing the shotgun in the right direction.

I started inching toward her, hoping that maybe I could get that thing away from the pony before she wound up blowing her face off.

"Don't come any closer!" she shrieked, brandishing the sawed off shotgun more violently. She leveled it directly in front of her face, putting the barrels between her eyes.

Oh, this is not going to end well.

I stood stock still, just freezing mid-stride. This kid was going to wind up blowing her brains out from the panicking; and if there's one thing you never, ever want to do , it's cause an animal to panic. Panic means unpredictability, and unpredictability equals danger. So long as she was dangerous, I was in a bad position.

And overanalyzing things again. Man, that's a bad habit.

Fortunately (or not, in hindsight) for me, Enclave Boy actually started to wake up from all the shouting.

He twitched and groaned, shifting a little. The unicorn's eyes darted over to him, startled.

That was all I needed.

Punching one end of the barrel horizontally and grasping the barrel with my other hand, I shoved the business end of the gun away from the kid's face as fast as I could-

-which was just in time for her to scream when I jumped at her.

0-0-0-0-0

Sweetie had only looked away for a split second.

The metal monster began to rise, and the moment it did so, the bipedal in the red-eyed mask lurched toward her to deprive her of her only means of defense.

Instinctively, she screamed and magically pulled on the trigger just as the thing snatched the weapon…

And pointed it away.

BANG!

The blast from the end was deafening.

Sweetie dropped the gun in fear as the explosion whizzed by her head, burying itself into the sand.

She cringed and tried to scamper back, tripping over her own hooves.

Terrified, Sweetie Belle backpedalled against the outcropping that the masked monster had leapt from, unable to get past him or go any further upwards.

It looked hopeless, and she didn't like her chances of escape. Much to her surprise, however, the masked monster didn't seem to be coming any closer. As a matter of fact, he was… trying to give her the weapon back.

He silently held the weapon out in one hand, gesturing for her to take it. He made several motions with his hands, indicating that one end was very dangerous – which Sweetie Belle had just discovered, coincidentally. Quickly, he popped open the gun and showed her how it was loaded. A couple of cylindrical tubes popped out, and he fished another from his pocket. With a couple of flicks from his fingers, he showed her the safety-locking mechanism on the side, which prevented it from firing unwantedly.

"Um…" Sweetie Began, watching him warily. She hadn't expected him to try teaching her the intricacies of weaponry.

0-0-0-0-0

I swear, I think this kid is a moron.

Most of the time, I don't really care about having my vocal chords slashed. I can't really make any noise.

Well, that's not true. I can make one noise, but it's more like a gurgling, unpleasant sort of death-gargle than anything. Long story short, even though the light regenerative capabilities granted by the radiation help a little with flesh wounds, I can't regrow limbs or major arteries or anything like that.

That also means no vocal chords.

I tried to teach the little unicorn as fast as I could about the thing she'd nearly blown her face off with, and to her credit, she seemed pretty enthralled with it. A little more intrigued than someone who'd nearly had their face blasted off should have been, really. But at least I thought she got the picture.

I tried handing it back to her, crouching down and making myself less big and scary looking. She took it out of my hand slowly, and I watched in amazement while her horn lit up like the lights of New Vegas and the shotgun floated into the air.

I don't care what kind of creature anyone is, telekinesis is fucking awesome.

See, why couldn't my radiation poisoning have given me superpowers, or something? I mean, cool superpowers. Not this Wolverine knockoff garbage. I want to shoot lasers out of my eyes. Now, that is a superpower.

She twirled the gun around in the air for a second, before flicking it open and closed a couple of times. Enclave Boy seemed to have given up trying to stay conscious, but I gave him another kick in the head for good measure.

Just taking safety precautions.

The unicorn looked appalled that I'd kicked him while he was down, and I got another surprise when she actually started talking again.

"Wait, don't do that!" she scolded me, and I was kind of tempted to kick him again just out of spite.

… What? I don't like people telling me what to do.

Or unicorns, for that matter.

In retrospect, I probably could have saved myself and a lot of other people a lot of trouble had I just snapped the guy's neck then and there. Instead, I settled for picking around at the old Pip-Boy he had on one wrist. From the looks of it, I'd say the guy had a couple of surgical implants for instantaneous medical injections; believe me, that ain't cheap.

I was kind of smug, disabling that sucker. It took a couple of minutes, but I put the Pip-Boy back good as… well, actually, he was going to get a big surprise when he woke up. I'll leave it at that.

Instead of curb stomping Tin Man while I was at it, though, I just pointed over at the opened cage.

Believe it or not, she hadn't actually even opened the cage door. She must have used magic or something, because the bars on the opposite side had all been bent away.

… Holy crap, It really took me a minute.

Do you have any idea how weird it is, thinking a sentence like that?

Used. MAGIC.

I shrugged, eventually. Not like there was anything I could say to dissuade her.

I left Enclave Boy in the dirt, and took off at a brisk jog in the same direction I'd been going before I stopped for the night. I wanted to get some good distance before he woke up and found out I'd just robbed him. Really, I thought that the unicorn would go her own way now, but believe it or not, she actually wound up following me.

0-0-0-0-0

Sweetie Belle followed the masked man.

It was silently and stealthily, at first.

She quietly crept along, keeping the shotgun magicked close to her side in case any of the other monsters tried sneaking up on her. However, the masked man occasionally turned around and checked back on her, as if to make sure she was okay. He showed her an odd symbol with his hand, a single thumb extended toward the sky before nodding.

It didn't take long before Sweetie's curiosity grew.

"Hey! Is this the way home?" she asked eventually, trotting in the cool sand alongside him. "Do you know where we are? Is this Saddle Arabia? Who was that monster that kidnapped me? Do you have a weird face under your mask too?"

That last one made him twitch, but he didn't slow down. The masked man scratched the top of his head with a leather gloved hand, head flicking left and right before swiftly sliding down a sand dune and beginning to climb up a short rocky slab. On her left, Sweetie spotted the glint of metal in the dark as what could be recognized as a water pump. There was a bit more vegetation nearby, and from the litter and concrete blocks, she guessed civilization was nearby.

"Are we going the right way? How long until we get there? Do you have any more of these weapons? What do you even need them for? Are there more of those guys from before? Is this part of Equestria? How come it's so dark? It was bright as day a little bit ago. Do you have daytime here? Are we even in Equestria anymore? Are you an alien? I guess you must think I'm an alien – how silly is that! I'm Sweetie Belle, by the way! What's your name? Do you have a name? How come you don't talk?"

0-0-0-0-0

Oh my GOD this was such a bad idea.

This little monster just would not shut up.

The whole damned time, I was trying to be quiet. I tried everything I could to be the embodiment of a freakin' ninja, and this little unicorn just wouldn't stop talking. 'Sweetie Belle', as she called herself, just rambled and rambled. The incessant questions. Is this what my mother went through when I was a kid?

I know she always said that I was more inquisitive than a child should be, and how frustrated she'd get with all the questions. I had no idea it was this awful though and oh god she's still talking!

"Are we near civilization? Is this the way to Ponyville? I guessed there must be some other ponies nearby, because of that water pump back there! Nopony leaves a water pump in the middle of nowhere, right? Pretty smart, huh? Can you tell me where we're going? Are we there yet?"

I swear to god, I will give anything to make this child shut up.

And, of course, no sooner had I thought it that we got ambushed by a pack of vicious, starving giant geckos.

0-0-0-0-0

Swift Learner – You are indeed a swift learner. You earn extra experience and learn at a faster pace.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note:

Sometimes, you just aren't lucky.